Archive for WWF

WWF at Maple Leaf Gardens 10/21/84

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2015 by Grappleholic

Jack Reynolds and Billy Red Lyons are on commentary.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (c) vs. “Special Delivery” S.D. Jones. Reynolds that there are a number of “Orientals” at ringside to cover the match. They trade hammerlocks. You’d think Valentine would be the master of that particular hold.  Jones shines a bit, throwing the champion around and beating him up. Jones works the arm and lands some headbutts to Valentine’s back. Valentine goes to work on the leg in order to soften up Jones for the figure-four. Jones escapes leg torture and makes his comeback. Valentine bails. Jones follows him out and sends him into the barricade. Back inside, Valentine hits a backdrop suplex for the pin in about 9 minutes. You can’t hear the bell on this show. The crowd is upset, but Valentine won clean as a sheet. Good match. I love me some Hammer Valentine. **3/4

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Rocky Johnson. Punches. Volkoff with a nerve hold. Johnson, the only one with any athleticism to contribute to this match, flies around a bit for Volkoff. Johnson gets a sunset flip that the announcer calls a small package. Johnson with a crab hold, but he almost put Volkoff on top of the ropes in the process. They do a test of strength, then Volkoff goes on the attack. Johnson avoids Volkoff in the corner, then spreads his legs and stomps on him. Looked like it was in the balls to me, but the referee says otherwise. Back and forth. Volkoff with a double axe handle off the middle rope for two. Volkoff hot shots Johnson into the top rope for the pin in about 9 minutes. **1/4

Goldie Rogers & Bobby Bass vs. Dynamite Kid & Davey Boy Smith. They aren’t even called The British Bulldogs at this point! Dynamite with some sweet maneuvering and dropkicking against Rogers to start. Smith shows his power against Bass, then rams Bass’ head into Dynamite’s. Bass tries to tag out. Rogers is reluctant, but eventually obliges. He probably shouldn’t have, as the Bulldogs put a beating on him. Bass comes in and takes a headbutt from iron-skulled Dynamite. Bass tries to make a save and hits his partner. Smith hits the running powerslam on Rogers for 2, then applies a rear chin lock. Rogers and Bass actually cut Smith off and get some heat on him. The interesting part of the match has concluded for the moment. Dynamite gets the hot tag and headbutts Rogers into next week. Bass refuses to tag in. Dynamite goes for a piledriver on the ramp, but gets backdropped. Back inside, Bass tags in and goes for a diving headbutt. Dynamite avoids it. Smith tags in, avoids a headbutt from Bass, and hits a pildedriver. Dynamite tags in. Rogers comes in. Smith gets him up a fireman’s carry. Dynamite comes off of Roger’s back with a diving headbutt on Bass for the pin in about 10 minutes. It was good except for the heat segment. Bulldogs looked great here. **1/2

Steel Cage Match: Kamala (w/ Kim Chee) vs. Andre the Giant. The announcers apparently don’t know Kim Chee’s name, as they keep calling him “Friday,” as in “Man Friday.” Andre beats up Kamala. Kamala rallies, lands a big splash, and doesn’t understand why the referee isn’t counting. The referee is not, in fact, inside the cage. This is a WWF cage match, in which the objective is to run away. Kamala beats up Andre. Andre beats up Kamala. Kamala beats up Andre. Andre is bleeding. Repeat ad nauseam. Andre chokes Kamala. They fight some more. Andre slams Kamala. Andre with an elbow drop. Andre with a really horrible looking failed diving ass drop. Andre leaves to end this in about 14 minutes. Really bad.

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The Chuiresu Diaries 10/17/12: Chicken Soup for the Wrestling Geek’s Soul

Posted in ECW, WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2012 by Grappleholic

I’m trying something different here.  I don’t get to write reviews often anymore due to being a very stressed college senior, but every now and then I get the chance to watch a little bit of Pro Wrestling and would like to share my thoughts on it.  So, from time to time, I may post what I’m calling a diary with short thoughts on whatever I happen to watch that day.  Full show reviews may still happen in the future, if I ever have free time again.

I picked the the ECW Unreleased Vol. 1 Blu-ray recently, and this evening I’m taking a few hours off from stressing about life, the universe, and everything to enjoy it for a bit.

Former ECW announcer and current WWE.com guy Joey Styles is hosting this thing.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final: ECW Heavyweight Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (Hardcore TV, August 27, 1994).  This was the night Extreme Championship Wrestling was born.  Douglas and Scorpio had a very watchable little back and forth wrestling match, which Douglas won with a belly to belly suplex in 12:52 after Scorpio missed a moonsault.  But the post-match promo is where it’s at.  Douglas refuses the title, saying the NWA is a dead organization.  He instead declares his ECW title to be a World title.  Soon after, Eastern Championship Wrestling became Extreme Championship Wrestling.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven (w/ Stevie Richards & Beulah McGillicutty) (Hostile City Showdown, April 15, 1995).  Fun little brawl.  Raven gives Dreamer 3 consecutive DDTs, but Dreamer kicks out.  Dreamer DDTs Raven on the floor, but Stevie interferes.  Dreamer DDTs Stevie and the referee, then Beulah runs in.  Dreamer gives her a piledriver and Philadelphia, apparently big fans of domestic violence, love it.  Raven is announced as the winner by DQ.  Joey Styles puts it over as a moral victory for Dreamer.  Stevie carries Beulah to the back instead of allowing her to be stretchered.

Joey Styles puts over the workrate guys like Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero who got their first shot in the United States in ECW.

2 Cold Scorpio & Dean Malenko vs. ECW World Television Champion Eddie Guerrero & Taz  (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) (Heat Wave, 7/15/95).  The audio on some of these is pretty bad.  You can hear the announcer, but not the guys talking on the microphone.  So the banter before this match is completely lost on me.  This reminds me, I used to love Taz.  There’s something awesome about a short, stout guy who’s a total ass kicker.  If this isn’t the match where Taz broke his neck, it’s the same configuration of guys.  3 minutes in Eddie and Malenko tag in and start chain wrestling and I vomit rainbows in joy.  Scorpio and Taz have an awesome mat exchange that ends with Scorpio getting suplexed out of his boots.  For that matter, every combination of these guys is awesome, but Malenko and Eddie are two of my favorite wrestlers of all time.  Malenko puts Taz in a Sharpshooter that Joey Styles misidentifies as a Texas Cloverleaf.  I expect better from you, Joey!  I love how they’re working a really good wrestling match, but not at such a fast pace that you can’t digest anything.  Eddie hits a brainbuster that Malenko sells awesomely by convulsing like he just had a seizure.  He apparently still has feeling in his body, because he managed to kick out of the frog splash that followed.  Determined to paralyze Malenko, Eddie dropkicks him off the top turnbuckle to the floor.  Taz and Eddie hit a dropkick Doomsday Device.  That’s kind of neat.  Another Malenko/Eddie exchange with another misidentified Sharpshooter.  Have I forgotten what a Texas Cloverleaf is?  Okay, I googled it.  Looks like I’m the idiot.  Sorry, Joey.  Scorpio hits a dive to the floor.  Malenko tries to do one, but appears to lose his nerve and goes with an elbow smash off the apron.  More dives.  Paul E. hits Scorpio with the cell phone.  Taz hits a head-arm suplex for the pin.  State appointed referee Bill Alfonso orders the match restarted.  Scorpio superkicks Taz and Malenko hits the Tiger Driver on Eddie.  Alfonso fast counts the double pin to give it to Malenko and Scorpio in about 20 minutes.  This was pretty damned good, much to the surprise of no one.

ECW World Television Championship Match: “The Shooter” Dean Malenko (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero (Hardcore TV, July 28, 1995).  This match is great.  Seeing wrestlers of this caliber bust their asses for the sake of having a good match reminds me why I love professional wrestling.  Guerrero catches Malenko with a jackknife hold for the pin to recapture the title 11:47.

Joey Styles puts over Cactus Jack, always my favorite face of Foley.

Cactus Jack vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas (CyberSlam, 2/17/96).  Douglas jumps Cactus, who is wearing a jacket and tie for some reason.  That quickly goes, but Cactus is wearing a shirt underneath.  Good.  I’ve never seen Mick Foley shirtless, and I never want to.  The referee is Brian Hildebrand (aka Mark Curtis), God rest him.  Cactus is wearing the “Forgive me, Uncle Eric” shirt that I remember reading about in his first book.  Joey notes that Cactus didn’t come to wrestle tonight, hence the jacket, tie, and cowboy boots.  They brawl.  Crutches, guardrails, and chairs come into play.  Douglas hits a dive from the top rope into the crowd onto Cactus.  I’ve never seen that out of him.  Cactus does the “spit in the air and catch it in his mouth” bit, which is disgusting.  Joey Styles calls it “Vintage Cactus Jack” here in 1996, so fuck you, Michael Cole.  The referee hands Douglas an international object, which Douglas clocks Cactus with.  They’re handcuffs!  Douglas handcuffs Cactus and picks up a chair.  Cactus tries to fight back, but gets murdered in the face with a chair not as badly as he did with The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, but still…  Cactus calls for help from Vince McMahon (this was right before Foley went to the WWF).  Since Vince doesn’t come out to help, Cactus calls for Mikey Whipwreck.  Douglas is trying to make Foley say “I Quit.”  So this really IS like Rumble ’99.  Douglas locks in a figure-four leglock.  Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a chair and… murders Cactus in the face with it.  Hildebrand counts the pin while Cactus is still in the figure-four in 15:42.  This was fun.

“Lion Heart” Chris Jericho vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (The Doctor Is In, 8/3/96).  There’s too much dancing in Scorpio’s entrance for my enjoyment.  I don’t know anything about dancing, so I don’t know if it’s even good or not.  This must have been one of Jericho’s last matches before going to WCW.  Good wrestling here.  Jericho goes a really wonky submission hold that even Joey can’t identify.  Crowd chants “This show sucks!”  I have no idea why.  They do some near falls.  Scorpio kicks Jericho out of the ring to the floor and says he’s going to finish him.  Jericho stays in the game, though.  Jericho tries to spring off the top and hit Scorpio on the apron, but eats the floor instead.  Scorpio hits a diving leg drop that I thought might be the finish, but Jericho’s got some fight left.  Jericho hits his rebound from the turnbuckle into a dropkick to the apron deal.  There should be an easier way to say that.  Scorpio hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top that wins i… NO!  OMGWTF JERICHO KICKED OUT.  More counters and near falls.  They do some mildly crazy bumps, such as when Jericho powerslams Scorpio off the top rope.  Scorpio hits a Tombstone Piledriver and a Shooting Star press for the pin in 19:58.  Okay, yeah, this was pretty good.

Joey Styles talks about Sabu.

Tables & Ladders Match for the ECW World Tag Team Championship: The Eliminators (c) vs. Sabu & Rob Van Dam (CyberSlam, 2/22/97).  Saturn says the winners of this match will be the best team in the world.  That’s a stretch.  Tables and ladders are legal in this match, so of course, RVD and Saturn start with back and forth wrestling while the partners stand politely on the apron.  They start bringing in the plunder and taking crazy bumps at around the 7 minute mark.  With these bumps into ladders, it’s no wonder Perry Saturn has always been a bit touched in the head.  Saturn splashes Van Dam off a ladder.  Sabu kicks the ladder into Kronus, then puts him through a table at ringside.  Joey with the classic “OH MY GOD!”  The Eliminators keep the title when Kronus pins RVD after 2 Total Eliminations in 20:40.  Wild and fun.

And now, a brief digression.  I was chatting with a friend on Facebook (shout out, Shawn!) about memories of early 2000s wrestling and the time that Triple H defended the WWF title against TAKA Michinoku on Raw popped into my head.  I searched YouTube, and…

WWF Championship Match: Triple H (c) (w/ Shane McMahon & WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TAKA Michinoku (w/ Funaki & The Acolytes) (RAW IS WAR, 4/10/00).  TAKA is a mystery opponent.  He hires the Acolyte Protection Agency to watch his back and they immediately run off Shane McMahon.  This match is all kinds of fun.  TAKA gets his shine and Jim Ross convinces you that he has a shot to win the WWF title.  It doesn’t help that Hunter is being a real shit ass to referee Earl Hebner.  Earl lets it go when Funaki dropkicks Triple H into the APA and the APA beat the hell out of him.  Vince and Shane McMahon come out and distract the Acolytes.  The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan Pearl Harbor TAKA’s protectors, and Hunter hits the Pedigree for the pin in 5:53.  The dastardly heels put the boots to The Acolytes.  Man, this was fun and brought back fond memories of being a 12 year old WWF mark.

I’ve had a rough week and felt pretty miserable about life a few hours ago.  This heaping does of pro wrestling nostalgia was exactly what I needed.  I hope to find some free time again soon to watch the rest of the ECW set and the new CM Punk release.

WWF WrestleMania V

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  The World Wrestling Federation: What the world is watching!  The Mega Powers EXPLODE at WrestleMania V!  We’re at the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City, New Jersey!  Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

WWF Women’s Champion Rockin’ Robin sings the national anthem.  She’s terrible.

King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Hercules.  After pre-match shenanigans, Haku jumps Hercules from behind to get the early advantage.  Hercules slams Haku around and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Hercules suplexes Haku back into the ring and hits a couple of elbow drops.  Hercules goes after Heenan stupidly and gets beaten up by Haku on the outside.  Haku hits a couple of backbreakers for 2.  Haku bear hugs Hercules.  Hercules breaks out and Haku catches him with a chop, then chokes him against the middle rope.  Hercules hits a cross body for 2.  Hercules ducks a rebound cross body from Haku and makes his comeback.  Hercules hits a powerslam for 2.  Hercules comes off the top rope, but Haku catches him with a superkick and goes for a diving headbutt.  Hercules moves out of the way and hits a backdrop suplex hold for the pin in 6:53.  It was okay.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews The Rockers.

The Twin Towers (w/ Slick) vs. The Rockers.  The Rockers go with the brilliant strategy of running away at first.  Michaels and Boss Man lock up.  Boss Man sets Michaels on the top rope and slaps him.  Michaels hits a missile dropkick.  Both Rockers deck Boss Man.  Michaels decks Akeem on the apron.  Akeem tags in and prances around.  Michaels does a moonwalk.  The Rockers make quick tags attacking Akeem’s arm.  Akeem tags in Boss Man.  The Towers sandwich Jannetty between them.  Towers make quick tags and Jannetty plays face in peril.  Jannetty ducks Akeem, who accidentally decks Boss Man.  Michaels gets the hot tag and runs wild on Akeem.  Rockers hit a double diving shoulder block on Akeem for 2.  Akeem NAILS Michaels with a lariat and tags in Boss Man.  Boss Man goes for a diving splash, but Michaels moves and covers for 2.  Michaels jumps on Boss Man like he’s going for a rana.  Rockers do some double teaming and hit a double missile dropkick.  Well, Jannetty hit his anyway.  Akeem saves and sends Jannetty outside.  Michaels comes off the top, but Boss Man catches him and powerbombs him.  Akeem hits a big splash on Michaels for the pin in 8:06.  Fun match.

Tony Schiavone interviews Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).

Dibiase and Virgil shake hands with Donald Trump during their entrance.

Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil) vs. Brutus Beefcake.  Dibiase shows off his Million Dollar belt.  Beefcake kicks his ass and throws him around.  Dibiase takes a walk outside, then comes back in and beats up Beefcake.  Beefcake slams Dibiase a bunch and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dibiase comes back in and gets beaten up some more.  Virgil grabs Beefcake’s leg from the outside to let Dibiase get the advantage.  Dibiase chokes Beefcake.  Dibiase hits a diving elbow to the head for 2.  This is getting boring.  Beefcake gets an inside cradle for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Dibiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream.  Beefcake gets a rope break.  Beefcake beats up Dibiase and locks in the sleeper hold.  Virgil gets on the apron.  Beefcake goes after him and gets decked from behind from Dibiase and sent outside.  Virgil beats up Beefcake on the outside.  Beefcake goes after him and gets jumped by Dibiase.  Both guys get counted out in 10:01.  Beefcake sends Dibiase into the post, then chases Virgil, beats him up, and puts him int he sleeper.  Dibiase tries tos ave and gets his ass kicked.  Beefcake tries to cut Dibiase’s hair, but Dibiase bails.  This sucked.

Footage from the WrestleMania brunch with Lord Alfred Hayes and the Bushwhackers.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers.  The Bushwhackers rip Jimmy Hart’s coat off and tear it up.  The Rougeaus jump them.  Rougeaus end up colliding with Hart, then they go outside and hug.  They have a match and it sucks.  Jacques accidentally knee drops Raymond.  They go outside to regroup.  Bushwhackers stomp around the ring.  Rougeaus double team one of the Bushwhackers behind the referee’s back.  Rougeaus work over whichever Rougeau is in the ring.  Bushwhackers hit the battering ram and a double stomach breaker.  One of them pins Jacques in 5:11.  This was the absolute drizzling shits.

Sean Mooney tries to talk to fans, but the Bushwhackers lick him.

Mr. Perfect vs. The Blue Blazer.  Hennig vs. Owen Hart?  I’ll have some of that!  Good wrestling to start.  Perfect slaps Blazer.  Blazer responds in kind.  Blazer hits a couple of slams, dropkicks Perfect out of the ring, and hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Blazer hits Perfect with some European uppercuts, then throws him back inside and cranks on his arm.  Blazer hits some more moves.  Man, Owen was such an athlete.  Blazer hits a backbreaker for 2.  Blazer slams Perfect and goes for a diving splash, but Perfect gets his knees up.  Perfect beats on Blazer and locks him in a camel clutch.  Blazer fights back and hits a powerslam for 2.  Blazer hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Blazer gets a crucifix hold for a close 2 count.  Perfect nails Blazer with a forearm and hits the Perfect Plex for the pin in 5:49.  Best match of the night so far.  It’s sad that both of them are dead now.

Finkel introduces Jesse Ventura to the live crowd like at several other WrestleManias.  I have no idea why.

Footage of Lord Alfred Hayes at a 5K run.  Mr. Fuji enters (in a suit and carrying his cane) to show he’s in good shape.  He finishes.  I smell chicanery.

Run-DMC do the WrestleMania Rap.  I fast forward.

They show the Demolition/Powers of Pain double turn at Survivor Series.

Mean Gene interviews the WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition.

Handicap Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship: Demolition (c) vs. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji.  Demolition’s music is dubbed over, which should be a capital offense punishable by hanging.  Demolition pummel Warlord to start.  The heels try to cut off Smash, but Barbarian gets pummeled by Demolition too.  Powers of Pain try to cut off Ax, but fail again.  Barbarian drops Ax with a big boot when he goes after Fuji to finally let the heels get some heat going.  Not that there’s any heat because this crowd is dead.  Ax plays face in peril.  Ax avoids a diving leg drop from Fuji.  Fuji tags in Warlord in time for him to cut off Ax from making the tag.  A moment later, Ax makes the hot tag to Smash anyway.  Not that it’s hot in front of this dead crowd.  Smash cleans house.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Fuji tries to throw salt at Smash, but hits Warlord.  Demolition Decapitation on Fuji.  Ax pins Fuji in 8:55.  This also sucked.

Tony Schiavone tries to interview WWF Champion Randy Savage, but Savage won’t talk to him.

After the introductions for the Dino Bravo/Ron Garvin match, Finkel introduces Jimmy Snuka for no apparent reason at the most random moment possible.  Snuka comes out to the ring, poses, and leaves.

Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs. Ron Garvin.  Complete shot in the dark guess here: This will suck.  Bravo jumps Garvin from behind and beats him up.  Bravo tries a powerbomb or something, but Garvin punches him down and covers for 2.  Garvin makes his comeback.  Big splash for 1.  Garvin softly pushes Bravo’s head into the top turnbuckle.  Garvin gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Garvin clamps on a sleeper hold.  Garvin goes for a piledriver, but gets backdropped, holds on, and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Bravo hits the side suplex for the pin in 3:59.  This sucked as well.  Garvin decks Bravo after the match, then gives Martin the Garvin Stomp.

The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Strike Force.  Busters beat up Martin in classic awesome Busters fashion.  Martel fights back.  Strike Force send the Busters outside with a double dropkick.  Martel wrestles with Anderson, which is great stuff.  Martel gets Anderson in the crab hold, but Tully thumbs Martel in the eye immediately.  Tully and Tito tag in.  Strike Force put the Busters in stereo figure-four leglocks.  Tully has an awesome exchange with Tito.  Tito inside cradles Tully for 2 after some Busters double teaming.  Tito accidentally hits Martel with a flying forearm.  Busters work over Tito.  Anderson goes up top, but Tito throws him off Flair-style.  Tito goes to make the tag, but Martin refuses.  Martel leaves.  The Busters tear Santana apart.  Tito tries to fight back but gets cut off.  Busters hit a spiked piledriver.  Anderson pins Santana in 9:17.  Really fun little match.  I love all four of these guys.

Mean Gene interviews Rick Martel.  He says he’s tired of carrying Tito.

Gorilla and Ventura discuss Martel’s heel turn.

Finkel introduces Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pit, but Brother Love comes out instead.  He’s wearing a kilt.  He interviews… himself, playing “Rodney Piper.”  Morton Downey Jr. comes out and insults Love a bunch.  Roddy Piper comes out for real.  Piper makes fun of Love while Downey smokes a cigarette and takes his socks off and throws them out of the ring.  WTF?  This is stupid.  Downey throws cigarettes at Piper.  Brother Love finally leaves or something and Piper talks to Downey.  Piper gets annoyed at Downey blowing smoke in his face.  Piper asks Downey to light a cigarette for him, then sprays him with a fire extinguisher.  18 minutes of retarded filler to waste perfectly good PPV time.  Fuck this shit.

No Holds Barred movie trailer.  I saw that movie when I was 12 and was kind of amused by it.

Sean Mooney interviews Donald Trump at ringside.  Man, Mooney was bad here.

Ventura is mad that Hogan is making movies.  Well, his movies are all pretty terrible.

Mega Powers history video.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.

Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  Big John Studd is the special guest referee.  Andre attacks Roberts as soon as he gets in the ring and sends him into an exposed turnbuckle.  How did it get exposed?  Jake fights back and goes for the snake bag, but Andre cuts him off and puts him in a half assed sleeper or something.  Studd warns Andre about driving his ass into Roberts’ crotch in the corner.  Andre chokes Roberts a bunch.  Andre methodically (see: boring) beats up Roberts.  Roberts fights back and Andre does his “tied up in the ropes” bit.  Roberts beats up Andre.  Andre gets free and beats up Roberts some more.  Roberts fights back.  Andre chops Roberts out of the ring.  Andre keeps attacking Roberts to keep him out of the ring.  Studd and Andre argue.  Roberts gets the snake bag.  Andre and Studd shove each other.  Ted Dibiase attacks Roberts from behind and steals the snake.  Roberts follows Dibiase up the aisle, decks him, and takes the snake back.  Andre chokes Studd.  Jake throws the snake in the ring to run Andre off.  Studd DQ’s Andre to give Roberts the win in 9:40.  This was the absolute drizzling shits in a show full of shit.

Sean Mooney talks to some idiot fan in the cheap seats.

Tony Schiavone interviews Sensational Sherri, who vows to take the Women’s title back and trash talks Miss Elizabeth.

The Honky Tonk Man & Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation.  Honky & Valentine aren’t yet known as Rhythm & Blues.  Hart and Honky lock up.  I want to take Jimmy Hart’s megaphone and shove it up his ass.  Hart gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits some atomic drops.  Valentine tags in and gets one too.  Hart dropkicks Valentine.  Hart tags out and slingshots Neidhart into a shoulder block on Valentine.  Hart tags back in and hits a backbreaker and goes for a diving elbow drop, but Valentine avoids it.  Honky tags in and they double team Hart behind the referee’s back.  Jimmy Hart is so fucking obnoxious.  Bret plays face in peril.  Honky hits the Shake, Rattle, & Roll on Bret.  Valentine goes for the figure-four when some kind of leg gimmick, but Bret blocks it.  Valentine cuts him off from making the tag and hits a gut buster for 2.  Bret catches Honky with a cross body for 2.  Neidhart gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Neidhart gets some near falls on Valentine, but Honky saves.  Honky tags in and gets beaten up by the Harts.  Bret hits a suplex for 2, as Valentine saves, then knocks Neidhart off the apron.  Neidhart chases Jimmy Hart around the apron.  Jimmy throws the megaphone in, but Bret catches it and hits Honky in the arm.  This somehow allows Bret to pin Honky in 7:40.  Pretty decent match besides the stupid finish.

Footage of the stupid Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior pose down from the Royal Rumble.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Ultimate Warrior (c) vs. Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Awesomely, Rude has the title belt airbrushed on his tights.  Rude knees Warrior in the belt and hurts himself.  Warrior pushes him around.  Warrior bear hugs Rude.  Rude also has Warrior’s face airbrushed on the ass of his tights.  Rude hits a missile dropkick for 1.  Warrior slams Rude a couple of times and goes back to the bear hug.  Warrior bites Rude’s head, hits a back body drop, and goes for the big splash, but Rude gets his knees up.  Rude hits a piledriver for 2.  Rude hits a chin crusher and tries to dance, but his back is hurt.  Rude hits a clothesline for 2.  Rude hits a side Russian leg sweep (Monsoon calls it a neckbreaker) for 2.  Rude pulls Warrior’s arms back.  Warrior reaches the ropes and shakes them, then breaks loose.  Warrior hits a shoulder block and a face buster.  Two face busters.  Warrior hits a backbreaker, then stumbles and drops him.  Not sure what that was supposed to be.  Warrior throws Rude around some more.  Rude avoids a Stinger Splash and goes for the Rude Awakening, but Warrior powers out and hits a clothesline.  Warrior takes Rude outside, then right back in, clotheslines him out, and tries to suplex him back in.  Heenan grabs Warrior’s feet and holds on as Rude lands on top and gets the pin in 9:42.  This was pretty bad.  Warrior hits a horribly sloppy press slam on Heenan after the match.  Poor Brain.  Poor anyone who had to work with that fuck Warrior.

Bad News Brown vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  Brown goes on the attack immediately and beats up Duggan.  Duggan fights back, so Brown bails.  Brown gets back the apron and Duggan slingshots him back in.  Bad News headbutts Duggan and rams his head into the turnbuckle.  This only strengthens Duggan.  They fight some more.  They go to the floor.  Bad News sends Duggan into the post.  Back inside.  Duggan avoids the Ghetto Blaster and hits the tackle clothesline.  Brown bails and comes back with a chair.  Duggan grabs his 2×4.  They have a sword fight and get double DQ’d in 3:47.  Duggan hits Brown with the 2×4.  I apologize to the Bushwhackers, Rougeaus, Andre, and Jake.  THIS was the absolute fucking drizzling shits.

Mean Gene interviews The Red Rooster.  Seriously.

Bobby Heenan (w/ The Brooklyn Brawler) vs. The Red Rooster.  Heenan begs off.  Rooster rams his head into the turnbuckle.  Rooster beats up Heenan.  Heenan runs into the middle turnbuckle and Rooster gets the pin in 32 seconds.  Not the worst match on the show.  Brawler attacks Rooster after the match.  When Rooster tries to fight back, Brawler and Heenan run away.

Mean Gene interviews Miss Elizabeth.  She’ll be in a neutral corner for the main event.  She’s sad.

Tony Schiavone is in the empty locker room.

Sean Mooney is out amongst the marks.

WWF Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) vs. Hulk Hogan.  Miss Elizabeth is in a neutral corner.  Savage bails before any contact is made.  He throws a Hulkamania finger in the ring for some reason.  They finally lock up.  Hogan shoves Macho away.  Savage hides on the apron briefly, then they lock up again.  Hogan knocks Savage down with a shoulder block and Savage bails again.  They lock up again and Savage finally gets the advantage working a side headlock.  When Hogan tries to fight back, Savage bails again.  Hogan chases Savage around the ring, then hides behind Elizabeth like a dick.  Back inside, Hogan actually does a wrestling takedown and works a side headlock of his own.  Savage hits a backdrop suplex and goes for an elbow drop, but Hogan avoids it and punches him a bunch.  Hogan wrings Savage’s arm.  Savage thumbs Hogan in the eye and hits the diving double axe handle for 2.  Savage works Hogan’s arm.  Hogan escapes it by sending Savage out of the ring.  I love the way Jesse calls the faces out when they cheat and Monsoon acts like it’s okay.  Hogan drops Savage and hits a couple of elbow drops and a boot scrape.  Savage hits a clothesline for 2.  Hogan is bleeding.  Hogan rallies and hits an atomic drop.  He goes for an elbow drop, but Savage avoids it, rams him into the corner, and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Savage beats up Hogan.  Hogan rams Savage’s head into the turnbuckle and punches him a bunch, then clotheslines him in the corner.  Hogan body slams Savage out of the ring.  Liz goes to check on him, but he gets mad at her.  Savage pulls Hogan out of the ring and tries to ram him into stuff, but fails.  One side of the ring skirt has come off.  Hogan rams Savage’s face into the apron, then picks him up to ram him into the post, but Liz won’t let.  Savage rams Hogan into the post, then Liz checks on Hogan.  Make up your mind, woman!  Savage bitches at Liz and threatens her.  The referee makes her leave.  Good.  Savage hits a diving double axe handle to the floor that rams Hogan’s throat into the barricade.  Savage continues to work on the throat.  Savage slams Hogan and hits a knee drop for 2.  Savage chokes Hogan with his wrist tape, then with his hands.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop.  Hogan throws Savage off the cover and Hulks up.  Punches, big boot, and the leg drop for the pin in 17:55.  Pretty good match that somehow kind of feels like a better match than it is from a wrestling standpoint.  Great storytelling, I guess.  Hogan celebrates.  Replay of the finish.

Other than a few passable matches, this show was long and fucking horrible.

WWF Royal Rumble 1989

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, since this is the anthology version.  The World Wrestling Federation: What The World Is Watching!  Old school PPV opening video hyping the Royal Rumble.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are our announcers, LIVE from The Summit in Houston, Texas.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

2/3 Falls Match: Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) & The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation & “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  It’s “International Rules,” whatever that means.  The powerhouses, Bravo and Neidhart, lock up.  They break and lock up again a couple of times, then Bravo grabs a side headlock.  Bravo shoulder blocks Neidhart to no effect.  Twice.  Neidhart ducks a clothesline and hits Bravo with ones.  They both avoid elbow drops.  Hacksaw tags in to a big pop.  Raymond Rougeau tags in to boos.  Hacksaw slams Raymond and hits a knee drop, poses, then tags in Bret.  Bret rings Raymond’s arm.  Bret leapfrogs Raymond and inside cradles him for 2.  Bret with a sunset flip for 2.  Bret with a cross body for 2.  Jacques tags in, hugs Raymond, then clubbers Bret’s back.  Hart drops Jacques with a clothesline for 2.  All six guys end up fighting in the ring.  The babyfaces clean house.  Jacques Irish whips Bret and Raymond low bridges him out of the ring.  Bravo tags in and hits the side suplex, then tags in Raymond.  Raymond pins Bret at 5:25 after a Doomsday-style Bombs Away.  The Rougeaus beat up Bret some more.  Jacques gets 2 off of a dropkick.  Bret takes his chest first hump into the turnbuckles.  Bravo tags in and covers for 2.  Bravo hits an inverted atomic drop for 2.  Raymond tags in and puts the boots to Bret.  The Rougeaus double team Bret some more.  Bravo puts Bret in a bear hug.  Crowd chants “USA!”  Bret is Canadian, morons.  Jesse totally calls them on it.  Bret fights out.  Bravo makes the tag to Raymond.  Bret gets a sunset flip for 2.  Raymond puts the boots to him some more, then locks him in a camel clutch, then transitions to pulling his hair.  Neidhart tries to save, but Raymond goes right back to the camel clutch.  Bravo tags in and beats up Bret some more.  Bravo whiffs him with a clothesline for 2, then tags in Jacques.  Jacques puts Bret in a Boston crab.  Neidhart gets the hot tag, but the ref didn’t see it!  Raymond puts Bret in an abdominal stretch.  Jacques cheats to help him get leverage while Bravo distracts the ref.  The Rougeaus take turns stretching Bret’s abdomen.  Bret manages to hit an atomic drop on one of the Rougeaus and makes the hot tag to Hacksaw.  Hacksaw runs wild on the French Canadians.  He slingshots Neidhart into a splash on Raymond then Bret does the same.  Hacksaw pins Raymond in 13:56 to even it up at 1-1.  After the rest period, Hacksaw beats up Raymond some more.  Since Hacksaw is an idiot, he gets caught in the heel corner and beaten up.  Jesse totally calls him on it.  I love Jesse.  The heels get heat on Hacksaw.  Bret gets the lukewarm tag and runs wild.  Bret hits a backbeaker on Bravo and goes up for the elbow, but a Rougeau pushes him off.  Some shenanigans happen, Hacksaw whacks Bravo with the 2×4, and Bret gets the pin in 18:42.  Really fun match.

We see Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil) drawing his Royal Rumble number.  He looks displeased.  He calls in Slick to talk to him about something.

The Bushwhackers draw their numbers.  They both get numbers they’re happy with, then swap.

The Honky Tonk Man draws his number and looks pissed.

Bad News Brown draws his number and says “It’s good news for Bad News!”

Demolition draw their numbers.  They say they’re gonna have a long night.

Jack Roberts draws his number.  He says something I couldn’t hear.

The Rockers draw and wish each other good luck.

Mean Gene Okerlund is in the ring to conduct a stupid waste of time pose down.  Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) comes out and cuts a promo.  His opponent is the Intercontinental Champion, The Ultimate Warrior.  Warrior does his usual entrance running around and shit.  What, no Warrior rant?  Heenan bitches about something.  They pose.  I fast forward.  Heenan sprays something in Warrior’s eyes, then Rude beats the shit out of him with some kind of workout bar thing.  The heels leave.  Refs and guys in suits come out to check on Warrior.  He beats them up, then runs to the back.  Whatever.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: Rockin’ Robin (c) vs. Judy Martin.  Robin’s music is hilarious.  Sherri Martel challenges the winner, then leaves.  Robin beats up Martin.  Sherri joins the commentators.  She’s terrible.  Robin dominates until Martin catches her in the gut somehow.  Martin beats Robin up for a bit.  Robin tries a cross body, but gets slammed down.  Robin works the legs a bit and puts Martin in a Boston crab.  They Martin turns it into a cradle.  Robin turns it into another cradle.  Martin fucks up an inside cradle for 2.  Robin hits an elbow drop for 2.  Martin holds onto the ropes to avoid a dropkick.  Martin tries a front suplex, but Robin lands on her feet.  Martin holds onto the ropes to avoid a reverse cradle.  Martin hits a clothesline for 2.  Martin beats up Robin some more.  Robin hits a DDT for 2, then misses an elbow drop.  Martin misses an elbow drop.  Robin tries to slam Martin, but Martin slams her for 2.  Martin gets a backslide for 2.  Robin hits a kick to the middle for 2.  Robin gets an inside cradle for 2.  Fuck.  Robin hits a diving cross body for the pin in 6:25.  This was fucking painful.  Robin’s music is still hilarious.

Sean Mooney interviews Slick, with the Twin Towers.  Mooney asks Slick about his dealing with Dibiase.  Slick feigns ignorance.  Mooney shows him the video we saw earlier.  Slick tells Mooney it’s none of his business.

Mean Gene interviews Rick Rude and Bobby Heenan.

Pre-recorded interviews with Mr. Fuji, Miss Elizabeth, and Jimmy Hart.

Jesse Ventura is sitting in a throne and talking.

King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Harley Race.  Race comes out and tips over Haku’s platform that his chair is carried out on, then kicks his ass.  The winner is King and gets Heenan, I think.  Race beats up Haku, then hits a suplex for 2.  Race taps him with another clothesline and knocks him out of the ring.  Haku counters Race and sends him into the post.  Haku hits Race with chops of the Mongolian and knife edged variety.  Heenan cheers whoever is on offense.  They fight in the ring some more.  Haku whips Race into the turnbuckles and Race does the Flair flip out of the ring.  Haku beats up Race some more.  Haku’s strikes are awesome.  They trade headbutts.  I don’t care if you are Harley Fucking Race, you NEVER headbutt a Samoan!  Does Tongan = Samoan?  Is it close enough?  Race hits a piledriver for 2.  Harley takes another bump out of the ring.  Haku suplexes Race back into the ring for 2.  Race avoids an elbow drop and hits a suplex for 2.  Race throws Haku out of the ring.  Race goes for a piledriver on the floor, but gets backdropped.  Haku rams Race’s back into the ring.  Race gets his piledriver on the floor.  Back inside, Race hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Race hits a clothesline and a headbutt for 2.  Haku makes his comeback.  He slams Race and goes for a diving headbutt, but Race avoids it.  Race capitalizes by… missing a diving headbutt.  Haku connects with a thrust kick for the pin in 9:02.  It was kinda good at first, then it kinda fell apart.  Haku is still King, and does in fact come with crown as illustrated.  Nobody will get that joke.

Pre-taped interviews with Brutus Beefcake, Greg Valentine, Mr. Fuji for the Powers of Pain, Big John Studd, Mr. Perfect, and WWF Champion Randy Savage.

Gorilla and Jesse talk, then Mean Gene interviews Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).

Sean Mooney interviews Bobby Heenan, The Brain Busters, and Andre the Giant.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.

Howard Finkel explains the Royal Rumble Match.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is WWF Tag Team Champion Demolition Ax!  #2 is… WWF Tag Team Champion Demolition Smash!  They say “fuck it” and start brawling.  After 2 minutes of them beating the hell out of each other, #3 is Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Heenan immediately leaves because no managers are allowed at ringside.  Demolition double team Andre.  Andre conks their heads together just as #4 comes out.  It’s Mr. Perfect!  Perfect fights everybody.  Andre throws Smash out.  Ax and Perfect try to get Andre over, but no dice, so they just beat him up.  Ax and Perfect start brawling.  Perfect takes the front bump into the turnbuckles.  Andre chokes Ax, then headbutts the crap out of Perfect.  Andre beats up both of them.  #5 is Ron Garvin.  Garvin, Perfect, and Ax all try to get Andre out.  Still no dice, but Andre does his classic “get tied up in the ropes” bit.  Andre fights everybody off.  #6 is Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Valentine joins team everybody in everybody vs. Andre.  Andre throws Garvin out.  Perfect slams Ax, then helps Valentine try to beat up Andre.  Andre chokes Valentine and Perfect goes back to fighting Ax.  Ax clotheslines Perfect and goes for Andre again, but just gets choked for his trouble.  Perfect pulls Andre’s hair.  Andre chokes Perfect.  #7 is Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  He goes straight for Andre, as they’re currently feuding.  Andre chokes Roberts.  Garvin clubbers Andre from the time.  Andre is still beating the world.  #8 is “Outlaw” Ron Bass!  Andre tosses Roberts.  Bass beats up Perfect, then gets beaten up by Ax.  Andre squashes Perfect and Valentine in the corner.  Andre chokes Valentine some more.  #9 is Shawn Michaels, in his first Royal Rumble!  He goes after Bass.  Perfect eliminates Ax.  Perfect tosses Michaels, who debuts his iconic Rumble spot of skinning the cat back in.  Michaels dropkicks Perfect and almost eliminates him.  Andre chokes Bass, then bear hugs him.  Valentine takes more shots at Andre.  #10 is Bushwhacker Butch.  Jake Roberts comes back in and throws the snake in the ring.  Andre eliminates himself to avoid the snake.  Jake takes Damien and leaves.  The five guys still in the ring brawl.  #11 is the Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Honky and Bass beat up Butch, then Perfect beats up Honky and tries to eliminate him.  Bass saves Honkey.  Some heels whip Michaels and Perfect into each other.  Honky and Valentine try to eliminate Michaels.  Michaels escapes his predicament and beats up Valentine.  Perfect tries to eliminate Honky.  #12 is Tito Santana!  Tito goes for Mr. Perfect.  Tito runs wild until Bass cuts him off.  Butch tries to eliminate Honky.  Valentine tries to eliminate Tito.  Bass and Valentine try to eliminate Michaels, but Tito saves him.  #13 is Bad News Brown.  Butch and Tito throw Honky out.  Everybody brawls.  Valentine hits an atomic drop on Michaels and almost sends him out of the ring.  #14 is Marty Jannetty.  He brawls with Bass.  The Rockers double dropkick Bass out of the Rumble.  Tito hits the flying jalapeno on Valentine, then he and Butch try to bundle Valentine out.  Valentine pokes Tito in the eye to escape.  #15 is WWF Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage!  Savage goes right after Bad News, kicking his ass before he even takes his sunglasses off.  Valentine clobbers Savage.  Everybody brawls.  It’s almost 2 AM and I’m getting sleepy.  #16 is Arn Anderson (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Savage eliminates Valentine, who had a hell of a run.  Savage and Anderson double team Michaels out of the Rumble.  Jannetty beats up Anderson.  Butch and Tito try to eliminate Perfect.  Savage tries to eliminate Bad News, who kicks the crap out of him.  Anderson stupidly goes up top.  Marty hits Arn and he crotches himself.  #17 is Tully Blanchard (w/ Bobby Heenan).  The Brain Busters double team Butch.  Bad News and Savage are still going at it.  Butch chokes Arn with his foot in the corner.  Marty beats up Tully.  Perfect and Savage fight.  Anderson hits a spinebuster on Marty!  The Brain Busters beat up Marty and struggle to dump him out.  Butch nails Arn.  Tully manages to eliminate Marty.  #18 is Hulk Hogan  Hogan immediately dumps Perfect, knocks the Busters’ heads together, and beats up Bad News.  Savage and somebody dump Tito.  #19 is Bushwhacker Luke.  Brown eliminates Butch.  Savage and Bad News brawl some more.  Hogan press slams Tully into the top rope, then fights with Luke.  Luke and Tully double team Hogan as Bad News and Arn double team Savage.  Hogan knocks Tully and Luke’s heads together, then hits Arn with a big boot.  #20 is Koko B. Ware.  Bad News tries to eliminate Savage.  Arn and Luke beat up Hogan.  Koko fights Bad News.  Arn goes up top and Hogan throws him off.  Hogan eliminates Koko, then Luke.  #21 is The Warlord (w/ Mr. Fuji).  Hogan eliminates both Brain Busters.  Warlord gets eliminated immediately by a Hogan clothesline.  Brown struggles to eliminate Savage.  Hogan dumps them both out.  Savage comes in and is like “WTF, man?”  Elizabeth comes out and tries to soothe the situation.  They finally shake hands and hug.  #22 is The Big Boss Man (w/ Slick).  He and Hogan are the only two in the ring.  They brawl.  Hogan hits the Axe Bomber and some elbow drops, then shakes Boss Man’s head.  Hogan slams Boss Man.  Boss Man comes back and kicks Hogan’s ass.  Boss Man hits a piledriver.  Hogan avoids a big splash.  #23 is Akeem (w/ Slick).  Hogan, of course, fights them both off.  He slams Akeem.  Boss Man rakes Hogan’s eyes and the Towers manage to get the advantage.  Hogan knocks their heads together and hits a backdrop suplex on Boss Man.  The Towers squash Hogan in the corner, then throw him out.  Hogan pulls Boss Man out of the ring (under the bottom rope) and kicks his ass.  Akeem goes outside to beat up Hogan.  #24 is Brutus Beefcake.  The Towers double team Beefcake.  Ever the poor sport, Hogan low bridges Boss Man out of the ring to eliminate him.  Hogan and Boss Man brawl to the back.  #25 is the Red Rooster.  He and Brutus double team Akeem.  #26 is The Barbarian (w/ Mr. Fuji).  He fights everybody.  Akeem splashes Rooster.  Barbarian beats up Beefcake.  #27 is Big John Studd.  Studd and Akeem go at it.  The other 3 guys fight too.  Brutus chokes Barbarian with the top rope.  #28 is Hercules.  Herc and Brutus double team Barbarian.  Rooster tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets shoved down.  Herc tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets clubbered by Studd.  #29 is Rick Martel!  Martel tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets shoved away.  When we people learn?  Martel goes after Rooster instead.  Beefcake and Hercules work over Barbarian.  #30 is Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).  See, he bought #30!  Dibiase beats up Hercules and Rooster.  Virgil stays at ringside.  Gorilla and Ventura speculate that he’s allowed to stay because he’s a bodyguard instead of a manager.  Dibiase whips Rooster into the turnbuckles and he Flair flips out of the ring.  Dibiase beats up Hercules.  Hercules beats up Dibiase.  Dibiase begs off.  Hercules beats him up some more anyway.  More guys brawl.  Beefcake puts a Hercules in a sleeper.  Dibiase and Barbarian throw them both out.  Barbarian shoulder blocks Martel into an awkward bump.  Barbarian powerslams Martel and hits a diving headbutt.  Martel dodges Barbarian and dropkicks him out of the ring.  Final four are Martel, Dibiase, Studd, and Akeem.  Martel avoids getting squashed by Akeem and hits him with 2 dropkicks, then tries a cross body, but Akeem catches Martel and eliminates him.  Studd fights both Akeem and Dibiase.  Akeem and Dibiase double team Studd.  Dibiase accidentally gets sandwiched between Studd and Akeem.  Studd eliminates Akeem.  Dibiase tries to bribe Studd.  Studd kinda chokeslams Dibiase into the turnbuckles.  Dibiase tries to get some offense rolling, but Studd kicks his ass.  Studd hits a butterfly suplex, a gutwrench suplex, a clothesline, then throws Dibiase out to win it at 1:05:07.  Virgil tries to jump Studd after the match, but gets his ass kicked.  Studd throws Virgil out of the ring for good measure.  Studd wins the 1989 Royal Rumble!  The Rumble match is always fun.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage and Elizabeth.  Savage says everything is still cool with him and Hogan.

Gorilla and Jesse wrap things up, then we get a sideshow to close the show.

The middle part of this show sucked, but the opener was good enough and the Rumble Match is always fun.  It was an easy to watch show.  I’ll call it a fun time and be done with it.

WWF Survivor Series 1988

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

LIVE from the Richfield Coliseum in Richfield, Ohio!  Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  I’m sure that means this is going to be a happening.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

Elimination Match: WWF Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, The Blue Blazer, Sam Houston, & Jim Brunzell vs. The Honky Tonk Man, Danny Davis, Greg Valentine, Ron Bass, & Bad News Brown (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Co-captains Warrior and Beefcake shake the ropes together.  Valentine and Beefcake start.  They trade blows.  Davis tags in and puts the boots to Beefcake.  Beefcake leap frogs him and locks in the sleeper to eliminate Davis in 1:18.  Valentine comes in and hammers Beefcake again.  Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Beefcake kicks him away.  Blazer tags in and does an awesome head scissors takeover.  Brunzell tags in and twists Valentine’s arm.  Brunzell lands a dropkick, but didn’t notice Bad News tag in.  Brown kicks Brunzell’s ass.  Brunzell tries to fight back, but it seems to just piss Bad News off.  Brown hits the Ghetto Blaster to pin Brunzell at 5:12.  Beefcake, followed quickly by Houston, go after Brown.  Brown kicks Houston in the face and hits a leg drop for 2.  Brown beats up Houston some more and tags in Valentine.  Valentine hammers him, then tags Brown back in.  Brown holds Houston for a shot, but Valentine accidentally nails Brown.  They argue.  The rest of the heel time tries to soothe things.  Bad News just leaves and gets counted out in about 7:50.  Houston gets a quick cradle on Valentine for 2.  Valentine blocks a sunset flip attempt, then tags in Bass.  Houston gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Bass boots him in the face, then hits a clothesline for 2.  Houston hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Bass knocks him down and drops an elbow for 2.  Houston fires back, tries a monkey flip, but gets powerslammed by Bass for the pin at 10:11.  Warrior comes in and runs wild on the remaining opponents.  Tag to Blazer.  Rocket launcher by Warrior and Blazer on Bass for 2.  Honky tags in and takes a cross body from The Blazer.  Blazer hits a monkey flip and a dropkick on Honky.  Tag to Valentine.  Awesome.  Blazer hits a gutwrench suplex and a knee drop for 2.  Blazer goes up top, but Honky pushes him off.  Blazer lands on his knees.  Valentine locks the figure-four on Blazer for the submission in 12:22.  Valentine attacks his former tag partner, Beefcake.  Bass tags in and beats up Beefcake.  Honky tags in and gets in on that, too.  Beefcake counters a Shake, Rattle, & Roll attempt.  Honky tags in Bass, who hot shots Beefcake into the ropes and covers, but Beefcake gets a foot on the ropes.  Tag to Honky, who comes off the top and gets caught with a shot to the middle.  Beefcake brawls with Honky, then hits an atomic drop and a clothesline.  Beefcake locks in the sleeper.  They both fall out of the ring.  Beefcake locks in the sleeper again.  They both get counted out in 15:42.  Valentine and Bass beat up Warrior.  Warrior rallies and drops them both with a double clothesline.  Warrior pins Bass with a double axe handle at 17:37.  Valentine meets the same fate in 17:50.  Very fun match.  It was a happening!

Tag Team Elimination Match: WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji), The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby Heenan), The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart), The Bolsheviks, & Los Conquistadors vs. The Powers of Pain, The Young Stallions, The Hart Foundation, The Rockers, & The British Bulldogs.  Davey Boy stats with one of the Conquistadors.  Jacques tags in and gets press slammed onto Raymond.  Shawn Michaels, in his PPV debut, gets beaten up by the Bolsheviks.  Jannetty tags in and The Rockers double team Zhukov.  Ax tags in and wails on Jannetty.  Arn Anderson beats up Jannetty, then gets backdropped and dropkicked.  Tully tags in and trades punches with Jannetty.  Jannetty hits an atomic drop, gets punched by the babyfaces, dropkicked, and tags in Jacques.  Jannetty avoids a cross body from Jacques and covers for 2.  Dynamite tags in and hits the snap suplex for 2.  Powers and Raymond tags in, but Davey Boy wasn’t done.  He comes in and gets 2 on Raymond off a Brisco roll.  Powers and Zhukov tag in.  Powers gets beaten up by the heels and tags in Bret Hart.  Hart pins Raymond with an inside cradle at 5:38.  Roma and Volkoff fight.  Sorry, these matches are hard to follow with so many guys and so much going on.  Smash hammers Neidhart, but gets caught with a clothesline.  Barbarian tags in and trades blows with Smash.  A Conquistador tags in and gets his head kicked off by Barbarian.  Warlord tags in and has his way with the Conquistador, then tags in Hart.  The Conquistador makes the tag to Smash.  Tag to Ax.  Demolition beats up Hart.  Tag to Blanchard.  This can’t be fun to read for you guys.  Every freakin’ sentence is “X tags Y” or some such.  The heels take turns beating up Michaels.  Anderson hits him with the spinebuster for 2.  Michaels makes the tag to Jannetty, who runs wild on the Conquistadors.  Volkoff tags in and Jannetty gets a 2 count on him.  Lots of quick tags.  I think we’ve established that, though.  Warlord press slams a Conquistador, who tags in Ax.  Ax and Warlord trade punches.  Smash tags in.  Barbarian tags in.  Tags everywhere!  Barbarian and Smash land some fierce blows on each other.  Barbarian press slams Blanchard into the ropes, then tags in Neidhart, who powerslams Blanchard for 2.  Dynamite tags in and drops Blanchard, then gets thrown out of the ring.  Anderson tags in, puts the boots to Dynamite, and tags a Conquistador.  Zhukov misses a knee drop on Dynamite.  Powers beats up Zhukov.  Powers hits a cross body on Zhukov, but Zhukov rolls through and gets the pin at 15:34.  Michaels hits a diving fist drop on Zhukov for 2.  Barbarian nails Zhukov with a shoulder black.  Blanchard tags in and tip toes over to tag in Volkoff.  Ax clobbers Barbarian with a flurry of fierce blows.  Volkoff comes back in.  Barbarian kicks his head off and tags in Michaels.  Michaels beats him up, then goes with Zhukov.  Jannetty tags in and pins Zhukov with a slingshot sunset flip at 18:20.  Jannetty almost pins one of the Conquistadors with a sunset flip.  The heels take turns beating up Jannetty.  Davey Boy tags in and backdrops a Conquistador, who tags in Blanchard.  Smith and Blanchard trade shots.  Blanchard is an awesome chickenshit heel.  Smash tags in and beats up Davey Boy.  Blanchard taunts the face team before going to the apron.  Conquistadors beat up Davey Boy.  Davey Boy makes the tag to Neidhart.  Harts double team the Conquistador.  Michaels hits a dropkick on the Conquistador.  Marty hits an elbow smash.  The Conquistador ends up in the wrong corner and gets beat up.  Dynamite treats him to a snap suplex and a diving knee drop for 2.  Dynamite hits a backbreaker for 2, then tags in Barbarian.  Barbarian beats the shit out of the Conquistador, who manages to tag out to Blanchard.  Blanchard plays chickenshit and gets the advantage with a cheap shot, then turns Barbarian over to Demolition.  The heel team takes turns beating up Barbarian.  Barbarian kicks the shit out of Arn and makes the tag to Jannetty.  Jannetty hits Arn with an elbow and tags in Neidhart.  Blanchard tags in and hits a cross body for 2.  Neidhart suplexes Blanchard and tags in Hart.  Hart hits a German suplex hold on Blanchard, but Blanchard gets a shoulder up and Hart gets pinned at 27:08.  Dynamite hits a Tombstone on Blanchard for 2.  Bulldogs double team Blanchard.  The Rockers brawl with the Busters and all four are DQ’d at about 29 minutes.  They keep brawling all the way backstage.  Smash beats up Dynamite.  Dynamite fights back.  More quick tags.  Powers of Pain beat up one of the Conquistadors.  Davey Boy hits the vertical suplex on the other Conquistador.  Davey gets a crucifix hold on Ax for 2.  Dynamite shines against Demolition.  Davey Boy press slams a Conquistador again and follows with the running powerslam.  Barbarian and Ax fight.  Smash throws Barbarian out of the ring.  The Conquistadors help beat up Barbarian.  Bulldogs beat up a Conquistador.  Dynamite hits the snap suplex on Smash and goes for the diving headbutt, but misses.  Smash hits Dynamite with a clothesline for the pin in 36:18.  Powers of Pain beat up a Conquistador.  Warlord spears the post.  Ax tags in and beats the shit out of the injured shoulder.  Fuji gets on the apron with his cane for no apparent reason as the heels beat up The Warlord.  He does it again a minute later.  Fuji low bridges Smash, his own man, out of the ring.  Smash gets counted out at 39:48.  Ax bitches at Fuji.  Fuji tells Ax he’s the boss, then whacks him with the cane.  Smash grabs Fuji and throws him to Ax, who slams Fuji at ringside.  The Powers of Pain go outside and help Mr. Fuji up and lead him to their corner.  Fuji trips one of the Conquistadors with the cane, allowing Barbarian to hit a headbutt for the pin in 42:25.  Powers of Pain celebrate with Mr. Fuji.  Demolition comes back out and brawls with the Powers of Pain.  Demolition kicks their asses and runs them off.  There’s your double turn that didn’t really make sense, and I don’t think it really got over.  The match was long and often a clusterfuck, but it was a lot of fun.

Sean Mooney interviews Bad News Brown.  He says his teammates were conspiring against him.  He wants a title shot.  Mooney asks why he deserves it.  Brown says it’s because he’s undefeated.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Mr. Fuji and the Powers of Pain.

Royal Rumble hype.

Gorilla and Jesse hype the matches still to come.

Mean Gene interviews Andre the Giant & Dino Bravo’s team.

Sean Mooney interviews the Mega Powers’ team.

This was all to kill time for intermission.

Elimination Match: Jake Roberts, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, Tito Santana, Ken Patera, & Scott Casey vs. Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo, Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, & Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan & Frenchy Martin).  Rude and Patera start.  Nothing of note happens.  Bravo tags in and wrestles with Patera a bit.  Perfect tags in and Patera drags him into the corner and makes the tag to Roberts.  Roberts has his second, then tags in Santana, who has a nice exchange with Perfect.  Jake and Bravo brawl.  Scott Casey (who?) tags in and tries a monkey flip on Bravo, but gets countered.  Race tags in and works over Casey.  Rude tags in and works over Casey.  Perfect tags in and works over Casey.  Casey realizes he’s boned and tags in Santana, who stays in for about a second before tagging Patera, who stays in for about a second before tagging Duggan.  Duggan takes Perfect’s head off with a clothesline.  Duggan punches Perfect out of the ring, gets into a confrontation with Andre, then tags in Casey.  Casey tries to pick the bones of Perfect, but fails.  Perfect tags Rude, who beats up Casey.  Tito tags in and hits a forearm on Rude for 2.  Duggan tags in and fails at clotheslining Rude, slams him, and fails at elbow drops.  Patera tags in and works over Rude.  Rude manages to hit the Rude Awakening for the pin at 8:21.  Casey, who never learns, tags in and gets his ass kicked.  He manages to get a 2 count on Bravo with a backslide.  Bravo avoids a reverse cradle and hits a side suplex to pin Casey at 9:29.  Tito and Perfect go at it again.  Tito gets an inside cradle for 2.  Duggan tags in.  Perfect catches him with a kick and beats him up.  Duggan Hacksaws up, but gets caught by Andre on the apron.  Andre headbutts Duggan.  Rude tags in and beats up Duggan some more.  Duggan drops Rude with a clothesline.  Race and Tito tag in.  Bravo tags in soon after and Tito hits him with a cross body for 2.  Tito gets a Brisco roll for 2 on Bravo.  Race tags in and hits a piledriver on Tito for 2.  Tito hits the flying jalapeno to pin Race at 13:19.  Andre comes in and ravages Tito.  Tito tries to sunset flip Andre.  Is he retarded?  Andre squashes him for the pin at 14:44.  Duggan comes in and attacks Andre, who gets tied up in the ropes.  Jake comes in and beats up the tied up Andre.  That dick.  Andre gets lose and tags in Rude.  Rude beats up Roberts, then tags in Perfect,who also beats up Roberts.  Andre chokes Roberts behind the referee’s back.  Perfect slaps Jake.  Jake fights back.  Bravo tags in and cuts off Jake from making the tag.  Roberts hits a short range lariat and goes for the DDT, but Rude clotheslines him from the apron.  Rude tags in and beats up Jake.  My video goes wonky because of the ancient VHS source material.  Bravo hits a piledriver on Roberts.  Duggan gets the hot tag and runs wild on Bravo.  Duggan goes for the 3 point clothesline, but Martin trips him from the outside.  Bravo knocks Duggan out of the ring and slams Bravo on the floor.  Duggan hits Bravo with the 2×4 to get DQ’d at 21:24.  Roberts is screwed.  Roberts and Perfect lock up.  Roberts hits a clothesline.  Crowd chants “DDT!”  Roberts and Perfect trade punches.  Roberts hits the knee lift.  Perfect tags out to Bravo.  Bravo over powers Roberts with a knuckle lock.  Bravo avoids a DDT attempt, misses an elbow drop, and tags in Rude.  Roberts bails for a moment, then comes back in.  He tries to stay as close to his corner as he can.  He and Rude brawl.  Bravo decks Rude from the apron.  Rude hits a gutbuster.  Rude works over Roberts.  Rude hits a diving… punch, I guess, then does his gay stripper dance over Roberts.  Rude saunters over to make the tag.  Roberts grabs him and hits the DDT for the pin at 28:47.  Andre tags in and chokes the shit out of Roberts.  Andre gets DQ’d for the choking at 29:40.  Perfect pins Roberts to win it 30:03.  Perfect and Bravo survive.  Finkel, you fucking moron, it’s not the SOLE SURVIVOR if TWO GUYS SURVIVED.  No complaints about the match.  Roberts brings the snake out after the match and scares Andre.

Mean Gene interviews The Big Boss Man and Akeem’s team.

Elimination Match: The Big Boss Man, Akeem, Ted Dibiase, King Haku, & The Red Rooster (w/ Slick, Virgil, & Bobby Heenan) vs. WWF Champion Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth), Hulk Hogan, Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie), Hillbilly Jim, & Hercules.  Savage and Dibiase start.  It’s good.  Dibiase nails Savage with a clothesline.  They reverse Irish whip attempts.  Savage hits a clothesline and tags in Hercules.  Dibiase bails and tags in Rooster.  Poor Terry Taylor.  Rooster goes for what looks like a Scorpion Death Lock of all things, but doesn’t get it.  Koko tags in and eats Rooster’s boot.  Akeem tags in for a second, then tags in Haku.  Haku slams Koko, but Koko avoids a leg drop and tags in Hercules.  Hercules hammers Haku.  Hogan tags in and beats up Haku.  Jim tags in and gets a 2 count after a double big boot.  Akeem tags in and hammers Jim, then quickly tags in Rooster.  Rooster fails at slamming Jim, who slams him instead.  Tag to Koko, who powerslams Rooster for 2.  Koko hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Hogan tags in and beats up Rooster.  Tag to Savage.  Hogan slams Rooster and Savage hits the diving elbow for the pin at 6:12.  Heenan bitches at Rooster.  Haku and Hogan trade blows.  Haku gets the better of it and puts a beating on Hogan.  Hogan reverses a whip into the corner and hits a clothesline, then a slam, then tags Hercules.  Hercules dances and hits an elbow drop for 2.  Herc grabs a headlock, but Haku hits a backdrop suplex and tags Haku.  Herc avoids an elbow and tags in Hillbilly Jim.  Big guy fight.  Akeem hits a clothesline and a big splash for the pin at 9:54.  Koko dropkicks Akeem from behind, gets his licks in, and tags Hogan, who quickly tags Savage.  Savage hits a diving double axe handle, tags Herc.  Herc beats up Akeem.  Nobody can take Akeem down.  Koko tags in.  He’s not gonna pull it off.  He dropkicks Akeem into the corner.  Akeem avoids a Stinger Splash and tags in Boss Man, who hits the sidewalk slam to pin Koko at 11:46.  Hogan comes in and squares off with Boss Man.  Hogan hits an atomic drop.  All of the babyfaces punch Boss Man.  Hogan clotheslines him in the corner.  Hogan hits a big boot, then slams Boss Man.  Boss Man hits a spinebuster, then tags out to Akeem.  Twin Towers double team Hogan.  Tag to Haku, who beats up Hogan some more.  Boss Man beats up Hogan some more.  Dibiase tags in and beats up Hogan too.  Who doesn’t want to beat up Hogan a little bit?  Dibiase lands a few fist drops and covers, but Hogan throws him off at 2.  Hogan hulks up, hits an atomic drop, then tags in Hercules.  Herc beats up Dibiase.  When Herc gets rolling, Virgil provides the distraction that lets Dibase schoolboy Herc for the pin at 16:36.  Savage schoolboys Dibiase for the pin at 16:59.  Haku hammers Savage.  Savage avoids a headbutt and fights back.  Tag to Hogan.  Hogan beats up Haku.  Haku lands a superkick and tags in Boss Man.  Boss Man clobbers Hogan.  Akeem tags in and does the same.  Haku tags in and suplexes Hogan for 2.  Haku slaps a nerve hold on Hogan.  Hogan revives.  Boss Man tags in and hits the sidewalk slam, and doesn’t cover because he’s an idiot.  Boss Man goes for a splash, but of course he crashes and burns.  Hot tag to Savage, who runs wild on everybody.  Slick trips Savage from the outside.  Slick grabs Elizabeth by the arm as Savage is being bear hugged by Boss Man.  Hogan saves Liz, but the Towers jump him in the aisle.  Boss Man handcuffs Hogan to the bottom rope.  Boss Man is counted out at around 23:30.  Since he already lost, be beats the shit out Hogan with the nightstick.  Savage tries to make a comeback on Haku, but Boss Man chokes him with the nightstick.  Akeem is DQ’d at around 25:10.  The Towers leave.  Haku beats up Savage.  Slick taunts Hogan with the keys to the handcuffs.  Slick holds Savage for Haku.  Savage ducks and Slick gets superkicked off the apron.  Hogan nails Heenan.  Liz takes the keys from Slick and unlocks Hogan.  Haku hits a diving splash on Savage for 2.  Hogan gets the hot tag, punches Haku.  Big boot, body slam, and the leg drop for the pin in 29:11.  The Mega Powers survive.  Dammit Howard, THEY’RE NOT SOLE SURVIVORS IF THERE’S TWO OF THEM, YOU FUCKING FUCK.  Like the last match, no complaints, it was just really long.  Hogan and Savage pose to close the show.  I’m not sure if this is relevant to the storyline or not, but I noticed a couple of things about the Mega Powers.  1.) The rest of the team came out together to Savage’s music, but Hogan had to have his own entrance.  2.) Savage wore his Mega Powers trunks on.  Hogan didn’t.

Four very long matches, but it was a fun show.

WWF SummerSlam 1988

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 14, 2010 by Grappleholic

The WWF: What The World Is Watching!  PPV opening video.  We’re LIVE from Madison Square Garden!  Gorilla Monsoon and “Superstar” Billy Graham are the announcers.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Matilda).  The Rougeaus are now pretending to be pro-America, which makes them heels.  Davey Boy goes to work on Jacques immediately.  Raymond tags in.  They lock up.  Davey Boy backs him into the corner.  Raymond cheap shots him.  Raymond does a monkey flip, but Smith lands on his feet and takes him over with an arm drag.  Dynamite tags in and works over Raymond.  Davey Boy tags in and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Bulldogs take turns working over Raymond.  Raymond and Davey do a cool quick little reversal sequences.  Jacques trips Davey Boy from the outside, then tags in and works his leg.  Rougeaus take turns working Davey Boy’s leg.  Davey manages to get a quick inside cradle on Jacques for 2.  Dynamite gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Snap suplex to Jacques!  Falling headbutt gets 2.  Brief clusterfuck.  Davey Boy hits the running powerslam on Raymond, but Jacques saves.  Dynamite tags in and gets backdrop suplexed off of Raymond by Jacques.  Jacques tags in and beats up Dynamite.  Jacques locks him in an abdominal stretch, prompting Davey to run in and break it.  Raymond comes in and puts it on as well.  Dynamite fights out and gets beaten up.  Jacques hits a big splash for 2.  Jacques puts Dynamite in a weird modified camel clutch.  Raymond tags in and applies the same hold.  Again.  Dynamite escapes, but Jacques cuts him off from making the tag.  Dynamite gets an inside cradle, but the referee takes too long to start the count, and only gets 2.  Jacques puts Dynamite in the abdominal stretch.  Raymond tags in and kicks him in the gut.  Dynamite struggles over and makes the hot tag… but the referee didn’t see it!  Jacques covers for a 2 count.  Dynamite fights back and makes the real hot tag.  Jacques holds onto the ropes and avoids a dropkick.  Davey Boy press slams Jacques into the top rope.  More stuff happens.  Davey Boy press slams Dynamite onto Jacques and the bell rings.  It’s a time limit draw at 19:05.  The fuck?  The Rougeaus cheap shot the Bulldogs and the Bulldogs chase them to the back.  The match was good in parts, but part of it seemed like they were just killing time.

They show Ron Bass injuring Brutus Beefcake.  A big red “CENSORED” X appears on the screen.  As a result, Beefcake won’t be able to challenge for the Intercontinental Championship tonight.  Gorilla says there will indeed be an Intercontinental Championship match tonight.

Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera.  Brown jumps Patera immediately and kicks his ass.  Patera rallies and clotheslines Brown out of the corner and finally manages to take his ring jacket off.  Patera looks remarkably like a chunky old lady.  That chunky old lady kicks Bad News’ ass.  Brown avoids an elbow drop and beats up Patera some more.  Patera catches Brown with a knee lift, then elbows him in the head a couple of times.  Patera takes Brown down into a pinning combination, but only gets 1.  Patera drops Brown again and drops an elbow for 2.  Patera hits a backbreaker for 2.  Patera gets an inside cradle for 1.  Patera bear hugs Brown.  Brown escapes.  Patera goes for a full nelson.  Brown immediately gets to the ropes.  Repeat.  More stuff happens.  Patera spears the post.  Brown hits the Ghetto Blaster for the pin in 6:37.  Yeah, this wasn’t any good.

Hype for a boxing match.  Gorilla’s favorite line tonight is “It’s gonna be a happening.”

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews the Mega Powers (w/ Elizabeth).

Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Junkyard Dog.  Rude does his usual pre-match promo, and has JYD’s face on his tights.  Alrighty.  Rude jumps JYD immediately.  JYD backdrops him and headbutts him out of the ring.  JYD beats up Rude.  Rude beats up JYD.  Sorry, I really should be paying closer attention to the match.  Rude works a rear chin lock.  Whoops, I just checked out again.  JYD fights back and lands a big headbutt, then nails Heenan off the apron.  Rude hits a side Russian leg sweep goes to the top rope, pulls his pants down, and hits a diving punch.  The tights under the tights have Jake Roberts’ wife on then.  Roberts runs in and kicks Rude’s ass to cause the DQ in 5:31.  Roberts apologizes to JYD for getting him DQ’d.  JYD visibly mouths “Fuck.”

Mean Gene interviews the Intercontinental Champion The Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart.  Honky says he’ll defend the title against anybody.

The Bolsheviks (w/ Slick) vs. The Powers of Pain (w/ Baron Von Raschke).  Third straight match that starts with immediate brawling.  The Powers clean house.  Volkoff trips Barbarian and Zhukov tries to capitalize, but gets sent out of the ring.  Powers beat up Volkoff and sends him bailing, too.  Zhukov tries to get rolling on Barbarian, but nothing comes of it.  Warlord tags in and beats him up.  Volkoff breaks a cover.  Warlord hits a belly to belly, but Nikolai saves again.  Slick gets on the apron with his cane.  Nothing comes of that.  The Bolsheviks get heat on Warlord.  Slick threatens The Baron with his cane.  Barbarian tags in and beats up the Bolsheviks.  I refuse to call this “running wild.”  Tag to Warlord.  Double shoulder block to Zhukov.  Warlord hits a running powerslam.  Barbarian follows with a diving headbutt for the pin on Zhukov in 7:20.  Man, this sucked.

Survivor Series hype.  3 months beforehand.  Awesome.  Nowadays, they barely promote PPVs in the weeks before the show.  Gorilla promises that it will be a happening!

Brother Love comes out to do the Brother Love Show.  His guest is “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  Duggan calls him a phony.  Brother Love lectures Duggan on love.  They bicker.  Duggan threatens to stick his 2×4 up Love’s ass.  Love tries to convince him that he loves him.  Duggan swings the 2×4.  Love runs away.  This was kinda fun.

More hype for that boxing match.  It’s gonna be a happening!  Gorilla and Graham talk about it.

Honky Tonk Man comes out and calls for anyone to come out and wrestle him.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Ultimate Warrior.  Warrior kicks Honky’s ass.  Slam, shoulder block, clothesline, big splash, pin in 31 seconds.  And so ends the longest Intercontinental Championship reign of all time, a record that still stands almost 22 years later.

Regis Philbin is in the crowd.

Survivor Series hype!  They show highlights from the 1987 Survivor Series.  Gorilla says “It was a happening” twice in 30 seconds.  And it will be a happening once again!  I count 8 occurrences of the word “Happening” during that segment.

Mean Gene interviews Sugar Ray Leonard, one of the boxers in the fight they keep hyping.  They show some highlights of him boxing.  I don’t care.  This must be intermission.  They show a video interview with Leonard’s opponent, what’s-his-face.  Okerlund talks to Leonard some more.  I still don’t care.

They show the opening video hyping the main event again.

Bobby Heenan intrudes into the announcer’s booth.  Crowd chants “WEASEL!” at him.  He talks about whatever.

“The Rock” Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin).  They lock up.  They break.  They lock up again.  Gorilla, Heenan, and Graham argue about Bravo’s supposed bench press record.  It’s quite a happening.  Muraco throws Bravo around.  Bravo bails.  Bravo beats Muraco up a bit.  Muraco flips Bravo around some more.  Bravo beats him up some more.  Muraco hits a side Russian leg sweep, which Monsoon calls a neckbreaker.  Muraco backdrops Bravo, then decks Martin when he gets on the apron.  Muraco lifts Bravo and bumps the ref.  Bravo hits the side suplex for the pin in 5:30.  This wasn’t any good either.

SURVIVOR SERIES!  ON THANKSGIVING NIGHT!  IT’LL HAPPEN AT THE RICHFIELD COLISEUM!

Sean Mooney interviews Jesse “The Body” Ventura, who will be the special guest referee in the main event.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: Demolition (c) (w/ Mr. Fuji & Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation.  The Hart Foundation turned babyface, so Jimmy turned on them.  Ax beats up Bret to start.  Bret avoids an elbow drop and starts fighting back.  He decks Smash for good measure, then gets a reverse cradle on Ax for 2.  Smash tags in and Bret hits him with a couple of arm drags.  Tag to Neidhart, who continues working Smash’s arm.  Ax catches Neidhart with a kick from the apron to let Demolition get the advantage.  Neidhart gets beaten up until Hart tags in against Ax.  Smash comes in and sends Hart into the turnbuckles.  Demolition beats up Bret.  Neidhart runs Jimmy Hart away, presumably because he’s as sick of that fucking megaphone as I am.  Demolition punishes Bret’s shoulder.  Bret manages to drop Ax with a clothesline and makes a hot tag that the referee didn’t see.  Neidhart finally gets the proper hot tag and cleans house.  Hart slingshots Neidhart outside onto Smash.  Back inside, Neidhart hits a powerslam for 2.  Hart tags in and whips Neidhart to smash Smash in the corner.  Heh.  Hart hits a backbreaker on Smash, but Ax saves.  Neidhart beats him up, then beats up Mr. Fuji on the apron.  Jimmy Hart runs back out and gives the megaphone to Ax, who nails Bret with it, allowing Smash to get the pin in 10:48.  Good match.

BOXING MATCH!  SUGAR RAY LEONARD VS. SOMEBODY!  IT WILL BE A HAPPENING!

Mean Gene is in the heel locker room to interview the defeated Honky Tonk Man.

The Big Boss Man (w/ Slick) vs. Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie).  Slick distracts Koko to allow Boss Man to jump him from behind.  Koko fights back and lands a dropkick that gets Boss Man tied up in the ropes.  Koko beats up a tied up Boss Man.  When Boss Man escapes, he starts wailing on Koko.  Boss Man with the Stinger Splash in the corner.  Boss Man continues abusing Koko.  Boss Man goes up and goes for a diving splash, but Koko avoids the worst of it.  Koko avoids Boss Man in the corner and Boss Man crotches himself on the middle rope.  Koko mounts his comeback, connecting with a missile dropkick that looks like it caught Boss Man in the face.  Koko hits a big splash, but Boss Man throws him off of the cover.  Boss Man hits the sidewalk slam for the pin in 5:57.  Fun little match.

SURVIVOR SERIES!  IT’S GONNA BE A HAPPENING!

Sean Mooney is in the babyface locker room to interview the NEW Intercontinental Champion, The Ultimate Warrior.  Typically insane Warrior promo.

Hercules vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  They do nothing.  Jake goes for the snake bag, then Herc tries to jump him.  They fight.  Jake hits the knee lift and goes for the DDT, but Herc bails.  Roberts works a side headlock.  Herc backdrop suplexes him, but Jake holds on.  Herc gets out of it and beats up Roberts.  Herc works a rear chin lock.  Herc hits a clothesline for 2.  Herc goes back to the chin lock.  They trade hammerlocks.  Herc hits an elbow that sends Roberts out of the ring.  Roberts pulls Herc to the outside and goes back in.  Herc pulls Jake across the top rope.  Back inside, Herc hammers Jake.  Jake hits a jawbreaker to escape a rear chin lock.  Roberts connects with some punches and a short range clothesline.  Roberts goes for the DDT, but Herc backdrops him.  Herc avoids the knee lift and hits a slam and an elbow drop for 2.  Jake rallies and hits the DDT for the pin in 10:09.  This was boring and went WAY too long.  Jake puts the snake on Hercules.

They show the events leading up the Mega Powers/Mega Bucks match.

The Mega Bucks (Ted Dibiase & Andre the Giant) (w/ Bobby Heenan & Virgil) vs. The Mega Powers (WWF Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage & Hulk Hogan) (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  Jesse Ventura is the referee.  It’s gonna be a happening!  Jesse moves the tag ropes around to different corners for some reason.  Savage and Andre lock up.  Andre mauls Savage.  Quick tag to Dibiase.  Dibiase wants Hogan.  Savage tags out to Hogan.  Hogan and Dibiase lock up.  Dibiase rakes the eyes.  Hogan blocks all of his punches and hits an atomic drop.  The Mega Powers throw Dibiase back and forth, punching him.  Savage shoves Ventura in the process.  Mega Powers make some quick tags and work over Dibiase.  Hogan tries to deck Andre and gets headbutted.  Well, he deserved it.  Savage comes in and Andre headbutts him too.  Andre tags in and squashes Hogan and otherwise abuses him.  Dibiase tags in and beats up Hogan too.  Well, it does look like fun.  Dibiase works a rear chin lock.  Hogan fights out.  Double clothesline spot.  Hogan makes the tag to Savage.  Savage drops Dibiase across the top rope, then hits the diving axe handle.  Dibiase avoids Savage charging in the corner.  Savage stays in control and hits a cross body for 2.  Dibiase drops Savage with a clothesline and tags in Andre.  Andre sits on Savage in the corner.  That can’t be pleasant.  Dibiase tags in and beats up Savage some more.  Suplex gets 2.  Savage avoids a falling elbow drop from the middle rope.  Savage makes the tag to Hogan.  Hogan beats up Dibiase.  Hogan suplexes Dibiase, then decks Andre and drops him.  Savage goes for the diving elbow on Andre, but Andre boots him in the face.  Hogan puts Dibiase in a sleeper.  Andre grabs him from behind, headbutts him, and throws him out of the ring.  All of the corner people get on the apron.  Liz takes her skirt off.  HOT.  Savage and Hogan make it back in and run wild.  Hogan slams Dibiase.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop.  Hogan hits the leg drop.  Jesse counts 1, 2, but doesn’t want to count the 3.  Savage pushes his hand down for the 3 in 14:50.  Fun match.  Hogan and Savage pose.

There were some bad matches, but overall the show was a lot of fun.  SummerSlam ’88 was quite a happening!

WWF WrestleMania IV

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 13, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

“The World Wrestling Federation: What The World Is Watching!”  WrestleMania IV!  We are LIVE from the Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey!

Mean Gene Okerlund welcomes us to WrestleMania IV!  He introduces Gladys Knight to sing “America The Beautiful.”

The referees carry a huge ass trophy to the ring.  It will be presented to the winner of the Battle Royal.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  They talk about what’s on tap for tonight.  Bob Uecker is back, too.

Battle Royal featuring The Hart Foundation of Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart, The Young Stallions of Paul Roma & Jim Powers, Sika, Danny Davis, The Killer Bees of Brian Blair & Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, The Rougeau Brothers of Jacques & Raymond, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, The Bolsheviks of Nikolai Volkoff & Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, King Harley Race, and George “The Animal” Steele.  Everybody brawls, except Steele, who is just wandering around at ringside.  Sam Houston gets eliminated, followed quickly by Sika.  Volkoff almost eliminates Brunzell, the one of the Rougeaus almost does too.  Steele keeps fucking with Neidhart, and pulls him out of the ring over the top to eliminate him.  Brunzell got eliminated somewhere in there.  Raymond Rougeau and Brian Blair get eliminated in the same motion.  JYD eliminates Bass.  Zhukov and/or Hart eliminate Hillbilly Jim.  Roma eliminates Davis.  Somebody eliminates Jim Powers.  Race and JYD trade headbutts.  Volkoff, Patera, and Zhukov get eliminated in short order.  Jacques gets eliminated.  JYD eliminates Race.  Brown eliminates Roma.  Hart holds JYD for Brown, but JYD ducks and Hart gets hit.  JYD does his headbutts on the ground.  Hart and Brown double team JYD, then talk strategy.  JYD fights them both, but he’s overcome by superior numbers.  Hart and Brown bundle JYD out.  They act like they’re going to split the win, then Brown drops Hart with a kick, kicks his ass, then throws him out to win it in 9:47.  Hart, pissed that Brown double crossed him, dropkicks him out of the ring and smashes the trophy.

Howard Finkel explains tonight’s tournament for the vacant WWF Championship.  He introduces Robin Leach from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous to read a scroll about it.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. Ted Dibiase (w/ Andre the Giant & Virgil).  They lock up.  Dibiase backs Duggan into the corner and breaks clean.  Repeat, but this time Dibiase tries a cheap shot and Duggan cuts him off.  They trade punches.  Duggan hits an atomic drop and sends Dibiase out of the ring in a hilarious bump.  Dibiase goes on the offensive until Duggan drops him with a clothesline.  Duggan punches Dibiase in the corner, then runs into Dibiase’s boot in the opposite corner.  Dibiase goes to work.  Duggan fights back, but Dibiase rakes his eyes.  Duggan gets a sunset flip for 2.  Dibiase catches Duggan with a knee to the middle, then a fist drop.  Dibiase goes for a suplex, but Duggan reverses it.  Dibiase comes off the middle rope and gets caught with a shot to the gut.  Duggan gets rolling and goes for the three point clothesline, but Andre grabs his leg.  Dibiase hits him from behind, then finishes him with a fist drop in 5:03.  It was a fun little match.

Mean Gene interviews Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.  Gene admires his “package.”

WWE Championship Tournament – Round 1: Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs. “The Rock” Don Muraco (w/ “Superstar” Billy Graham).  They lock up, break, lock up again.  Bravo shoves Muraco into the corner and wails on him.  Muraco comes back and hits a half assed Vader Bomb into an elbow drop.  Bravo hits a couple of elbow drops, then a gutwrench suplex.  Muraco fights back and works on Bravo’s leg some.  Muraco works a spinning toe hold.  Bravo kicks Muraco away and Muraco gets hung in the ropes.  Bravo hits a piledriver, takes too long to cover, and only gets 2.  Bravo goes for another one, but Muraco backdrops him.  Double clothesline spot.  Muraco makes a comeback, but accidentally kills the ref in the process.  Bravo hits his side suplex and covers.  The referee taps him on the back three times, so Bravo thinks he won.  The ref was calling for the DQ.  Muraco wins by DQ in 4:54 because Bravo pulled the referee in front of him.  This match was lame and had a lame finish to boot.

Bob Uecker talks about Vanna White, who is around somewhere, then talks to The Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart.  Honky will be putting the Intercontinental Title against Brutus Beefcake tonight.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (w/ baby Richie Steamboat).  Steamboat carrying his son to the ring will be something they show when Richie debuts on WWE TV in the future, I’m sure.  They lock up, break, repeat.  Lock up again and do some awesome stuff.  Man, Steamboat has the most glorious arm drags ever.  Steamboat moves fast.  Valentine throws him over the top, but Steamboat skins the cat back in, dropkicks him, then fails at a crucifix.  Valentine beats up Steamboat.  Valentine goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands his feet and rams Valentine into the turnbuckles.  Steamboat works on Valentine’s arm.  Valentine hits an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline, then elbows Steamboat in the head.  They show Donald Trump in the front row.  Steamboat goes for a body slam, but Valentine lands on top for 2.  Valentine hits a gut buster, then goes for the figure-four.  Steamboat kicks him into the turnbuckle.  They trade chops.  Valentine finally falls down.  Valentine hits a shoulder breaker for 2.  Valentine goes for the figure-four again, but Steamboat cuts him off, then rams his head into the mat.  Steamboat hits a diving chop, and Valentine takes a great delayed bump.  Cover only gets 2.  Steamboat rams Valentine’s head repeatedly into the turnbuckles, argues with the referee, then goes up top.  Steamboat hits a diving cross body, but Valentine rolls through and gets the pin in 9:11.  Good match.

Mean Gene interviews Koko B. Ware and The British Bulldogs, who have Matilda back after The Islanders and Bobby Heenan kidnapped her.  They say Matilda has been trained to go after weasels.  Heh.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: “The Natural” Butch Reed (w/ Slick) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  Nothing happens, then they do a little bit.  Reed slow beats up Savage.  Savage fights back, but Reed reverses his suplex attempt.  Reed hits an elbow drop for 2.  Reed ponderously beats up Savage some more.  Reed hits Savage with a clothesline, talks at Elizabeth, then goes up top.  He spent too long fucking around.  Savage throws him off the top, then hits the diving elbow for the pin in 4:08.  It was fine when Savage was on offense, but unfortunately that was maybe 30 seconds of the match.

Uecker is backstage, still talking about Vanna White.  He talks to Bobby Heenan, with the Islanders.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: The One Man Gang (w/ Slick) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Oliver Humperdink).  Gang jumps Bigelow and lumbers around, beating him up.  Bigelow hits a cartwheel splash for 2, then a cross body for 2.  Bigelow keeps rolling.  Bigelow hits a headbutt, then Slick low bridges him out of the ring.  Bigelow makes it to the apron, but that really ugly ref counts him out at 3:00.  Stupid.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.  His promo turns very wacky.  “Thank God Donald Trump’s a Hulkamaniac!”  Something about the Trump Plaza falling into the ocean.  I don’t know.

Another shot of Trump in the front row.  They show Slick screwing Bigelow again.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jake Roberts.  Rude cuts a promo, saying what’s under his robe is why “the odds are in [his] favorite.”  They lock up as Damien wriggles around in the bag.  Roberts rams Rude’s face into the mat.  Rude slams Roberts, then hammers him.  Repeat.  Roberts slams Rude a couple of times.  Rude ends up the corner with Damien and freaks out.  Roberts cranks on Rude’s arm.  Rude punches Roberts, but Roberts holds onto the wrist lock and grounds him.  Roberts his a knee off the middle rope and goes for the DDT, but Rude bails.  Heenan hugs him.  Back inside, Roberts works on Rude’s arm some more.  The run the ropes.  Roberts slams Rude again and goes for the knee lift, but Rude avoids it and puts the boots to him.  Rude hits a clothesline, swivels his hips, and hits an elbow drop for 2.  Rude works a chin lock.  Heenan distracts the referee to give Rude the chance to choke Roberts.  Roberts finally works his way out of it.  Rude hits a diving chop, then swivels his hips some more.  Rude hits a clothesline for 2.  Rude goes back to the chin lock.  Rude flapjacks Roberts and goes up top to hit a diving punch for 2, covers for another 2, then goes back to the chin lock.  Roberts backdrop suplexes him, but Rude keeps his old on, then covers for 2.  Rude stomps Roberts in the ropes.  I think I hear a “BORING!” chant developing.  Rude works the chin lock again.  This is boring.  Roberts finally breaks out with a jawbreaker, then makes his comeback.  Roberts hits a short range clothesline and goes for the DDT, but Rude runs him into the corner.  Roberts catches a charging Rude with a knee, then hits a gutbuster for 2.  Rude hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Rude gets a 1 count.  Rude goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but the bell rings after 2.  It’s a 15:00 draw at 15:14.  Roberts runs Rude and Heenan off with Damien.  The match was good in the beginning and the end.  The middle part where they were just stalling for time was boring.

Mean Gene and Vanna White are at the big fancy tournament bracket.  Vanna gives her predictions for the second round.

Hercules (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. The Ultimate Warrior.  Hercules tries a shoulder block, to no effect.  Repeat.  They stare at each other, then shove each other.  They lock up and lumber around.  Warrior backs Hercules into the corner.  The ref makes them break and Herc gets a cheap shot in.  They brawl.  It’s bad.  Hercules backdrops Warrior out of the ring.  Warrior pulls Herc out and they brawl on the floor.  Back inside, more horrible brawling.  Warrior punches Herc in the corner.  Herc brings him out with an inverted atomic drop.  Herc avoids Warrior in the corner and locks in the full nelson.  Warrior kicks off the turnbuckles, then lifts his shoulder and gets the pin in 4:37.  Herc attacks Warrior after the match, then chokes him with his chain.  Warrior gets the chain and swings it around to run Herc off.  This sucked.  All of it.

Gorilla and Jesse talk, then we get an Andre/Hogan history package.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: Andre the Giant (w/ Ted Dibiase & Virgil) vs. Hulk Hogan.  Andre immediately goes on the attack.  He clobbers Hogan with huge blows.  Hogan fights back with forearms, then chokes DIbiase when he gets on the apron.  Hogan knocks Andre and Dibiase’s heads together.  Hogan chops Andre.  Andre gets tangled up in the ropes.  Hogan rips his shirt off and poses as Virgil and Dibiase free Andre.  Stupid Hogan.  Hogan knocks Andre down and hits 3 elbow drops for 2.  Andre chokes Hogan.  Andre chops Hogan, then clamps on a nerve hold.  Hogan fights back, then signals for the slam.  Virgil distracts the ref while Dibiase sneaks in and hits Hogan with a chair.  Hogan hits Andre with the chair IN FULL VIEW of the referee, who does NOTHING.  Andre hits Hogan with the chair, and the ref calls for the double DQ in 5:22.  This actively sucked.  Hogan chases Dibiase up the aisle.  Dibiase throws Virgil to Hogan.  Hogan suplex Virgil in the aisle.  Hogan comes back to the ring and body slams Andre.  Hogan does his posing routine.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage and Elizabeth.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: “The Rock” Don Muraco (w/ “Superstar” Billy Graham) vs. Ted Dibiase.  Dibiase doesn’t want to get in the ring.  Muraco brings him in the hard way.  Muraco hits a powerslam for 2.  Muraco hits a diving fist or chop for 2.  Muraco hits the Throwback, and generally continues beating up Dibiase.  Dibiase finally manages to defensively slingshot Muraco into the turnbuckles, then puts the boots to him.  Dibiase gets the heat on Muraco.  Except this crowd isn’t heated AT ALL.  Muraco avoids a falling elbow drop from the middle rope and makes his comeback.  Dibiase hot shots Muraco into the top rope for the pin in 5:36.  Fine little match.

Bob Uecker talks to Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji).

The One Man Gang and Slick are in the ring for Finkel’s announcement that Gang receives a BYE in this round because of the draw between Rude and Roberts.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up.  Valentine hammers Savage.  Savage fights back and hits a knee drop for 2.  Valentine beats up Savage some more.  Elbow drop gets 2.  Valentine hits a shoulder breaker for 2.  Valentine throws Savage out of the ring, then hits him with an elbow to the back of the head from the apron.  Valentine hits Savage with some chops.  Valentine continues to beat up Savage.  He goes for the figure-four, but Savage holds into the ropes.  Valentine hits a suplex for 2.  Savage starts fighting back and actually gets a small reaction from the crowd.  Savage slams Valentine, then hits a diving double axe handle.  Hart jumps on the apron to stop the count.  Savage lunges for him.  Valentine gets the offensive on Savage again, but Savage reverses a suplex attempt, then goes up and goes for another axe handle.  Valentine catches him with a blow to the middle.  Hart helps Valentine avoids a charging Savage in the ropes.  Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Savage turns it into an inside cradle for the pin in 6:07.  Good little match.

Mean Gene and Vanna White go over the brackets at the end of the second round.  Vanna still doesn’t know who Uecker is.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Honky Tonk Man (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart & Peggy Sue) vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.  They lock up.  Beefcake catches Honky’s foot, teases a punch, then hits an atomic drop.  Beefcake messes up Honky’s hair, so Honky bails.  Beefcake rams Honky’s head into the turnbuckles repeatedly.  He keeps doing a scissors motion with his fingers, I guess because he wants to cut Honky’s hair.  Beefcake hits a high knee and Honky bails again.  Beefcake pulls him back in and beats him up.  Honky avoids an elbow drop and puts the boots to Brutus.  Honky beats up Brutus.  Hart chokes Beefcake behind the referee’s back.  Honky grabs a front face lock, but decides to beat him up some more instead of going for his move.  Then he actually goes for the Shake, Rattle, & Roll, but Beefcake holds onto the ropes to avoid it and makes his comeback.  Beefcake locks in the sleeper hold.  Jimmy gets on the apron and nails the referee with the megaphone.  Beefcake puts Honky to sleep and thinks he won, then notices the referee is also sleeping.  Beefcake goes for his bag of barber equipment, but Hart gets it and tries to escape under the ring.  Beefcake drags him out and cuts some of Hart’s hair off.  Peggy Sue tries to wake Honky while some more referees try to wake the original referee.  Peggy throws water on Honky to wake him up.  Beefcake comes in with his shears, but referees hold him back.  Beefcake is announces as the winner by DQ in about 9 minutes (no bell).  Fun match.

Bob Uecker talks to Andre the Giant, then gets choked by Andre’s massive hands.

The Islanders & Bobby Heenan vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Matilda) & Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie).  Second missed bell in a row.  Is the time keeper in the toilet or something?  Dynamite schools Tama to start.  Davey Boy and Haku tag in.  Davey Boy hits a cross body for 2, then a body slam for 2.  Davey Boy gets a crucifix hold for 2.  Tama tags in and gets press slammed.  Haku tags in and beats up Smith.  Koko tags in and dropkicks Haku, then does an awesome headlock/leg scissors to the Islanders.  Haku beats up Dynamite, who tags in Heenan, wearing his silly dog proof suit.  Heenan puts the boots to Dynamite.  As soon as Dynamite responds, Heenan tags in Tama.  Tama slams Dynamite and goes for a Vader Bomb, but Dynamite gets his knees up.  Koko tags in and runs wild on the Islanders.  The Islanders get some heat on Koko, then tag in Heenan to get his licks in again.  Whatever letters are on the back of Koko’s tights are blurred out.  I think it’s “WWF.”  Koko whips Heenan into the turnbuckles, then dropkicks him.  The Islanders jump Koko and a clusterfuck ensues.  The Islanders slam Heenan on top of Koko for the pin in about 7 minutes.  Good little match.  Dynamite headbutts the Islanders, which is always a stupid move.  Davey Boy sicks Matilda on Heenan afterwards.

Finkel introduces Jesse Ventura.  It must have been in Jesse’s contract that he gets to pose at every WrestleMania.

Ted Dibiase is in the ring for Finkel’s announcement that he gets a BYE in the semifinals.  Why do they feel the need to bring the guys out for these announcements?

WWF Championship Tournament – Semifinal: The One Man Gang (w/ Slick) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up, with Gang overpowering Savage.  Savage grabs Gang by the beard and “clotheslines” him across the top rope.  Gang beats up Savage.  Gang gets a couple of 2 counts.  Gang slams Savage and goes for the splash, but Savage moves, avoids Gang in the corner, and makes a comeback.  Savage knocks Gang out of the ring and hits a diving axe handle to the outside.  Slick helps Gang get back in the ring.  Savage tries to slam Gang, fails, and gets choked.  Slick aggravates Elizabeth.  Savage chokes Slick.  Gang attacks Savage with Slick’s cane to cause the DQ in 4:12.  This was bad.  After the match, Savage hits a diving axe handle that causes Gang to squash Slick.

Flip over disc to continue!  I shall!

Mean Gene and Vanna White and the brackets board again.  Vanna leaves to go to ringside.  Bob Uecker shows up just after she left.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: Strike Force (c) vs. Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji).  Smash smashes Martel.  My wit amuses me.  Tito comes in to dropkick Martel onto Smash.  Brief clusterfuck ensues.  Strike Force try to work over Smash’s arm.  Ax tags in and promptly gets arm dragged by Tito.  Strike Force tries their arm working strategy on Ax.  Smash tags in and gets his arm punished too.  Smash elevates Tito and Ax nails him.  Demolition gets the heat on Santana.  Martel gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Martel locks Smash in the Boston crab.  Santana stops Ax from interfering.  Mr. Fuji gets on the apron with his cane.  Tito chokes him.  Ax hits Martel with Fuji’s cane behind the referee’s back.  Smash pins Martel to win the titles in 8:02.  Fine match.

Finkel introduces the celebrities for the main event: Robin Leach, who will present the championship belt to the winner and guest ring announcer Bob Uecker, who introduces guest timekeeper Vanna White.

WWF Championship Tournament – Final: Ted Dibiase (w/ Andre the Giant) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up.  Crowd is dead.  Andre trips Savage behind the referee’s back.  They trade hammerlocks.  Savage hits a shoulder block, then Andre trips him again.  Dibiase works over Savage.  Savage blocks a sunset flip attempt and hits a clothesline for 2.  Dibiase beats up Savage some more.  Savage rallies.  The crowd pops a little bit when he hits a move.  Savage knocks Dibiase out of the ring and goes to the top, but Andre stands over Dibiase to protect him.  Savage confers with Elizabeth, who leaves.  Dibiase attacks Savage from behind and gives him a bunch of fist drops for 2.  Elizabeth comes back out with Hulk Hogan in tow.  Dibiase works a rear chin lock.  He lets go when he sees Hogan.  Hogan gets a chair and sits down in Macho’s corner.  Dibiase continues to beat on Savage.  Andre grabs Savage again and Hogan nails Andre.  Savage tries to fight back against Dibiase, but can’t get rolling.  Dibiase hits a suplex for 2.  Dibiase hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Dibiase goes up top, but Savage throws him off, then goes for the diving elbow drop, but Dibiase moves out of his way.  Dibiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream.  Andre distracts the referee.  Hogan sneaks in and hits Dibiase with the chair.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop for the pin in 9:18.  Okay match, but I’m sure they had a lot of matches that were way better than this.  This was mostly storyline, which is fine, I guess.  Savage, Liz, and Hogan celebrate.

Fun show.  This was one of the few old school tapes that one of my local video stores had when I first became a fan, so it’s a sentimental favorite of mine.