Archive for WrestleMania

WWE Extreme Rules 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2012 by Grappleholic

WWE open, awesome PPV opening video, pryo and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.  Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez are the Spanish announcers.

They show the shenanigans leading up to Kane vs. Randy Orton involving their respective fathers, Paul Bearer and Bob Orton Jr.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Kane vs. Randy Orton.  They brawl.  Orton gets punched off the top to the floor.  Cover on the floor gets 2.  Kane brings in a leg pipe.  Orton cuts him off and hits him with the pipe a few times, knocking him back to the floor on the last shot.  They fight in the crowd.  Orton knees Kane in the face for 2.  Kane slams Orton on the concrete for 2.  More crowd brawling.  They end up near the set.  Orton lands a dropkick for 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and boots Orton in the face for 2.  They brawl backstage.  They end up in a room with some geeks.  Zack Ryder attacks Kane, which only pisses him off.  Kane goozles Ryder, but Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  Back into the hallway.  Kane throws something at Orton and covers for 2.  Back into the arena.  Back into the ring.  Orton drops Kane with a clothesline and hits a powerslam.  Orton retrieves a chair from underneath the ring and attacks Kane with it.  Back outside, where Orton clears off the announce table.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Orton prevents it.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER off the table to the floor!  Cover gets 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and sends Orton into the post.  Cover gets 2.  Back inside, Kane goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex.  Cover gets 2.  Orton humps the mat.  Kane hits the chokeslam, but Orton kicks out!  Kane bitches at the referee.  Kane goes for the Tombstone on the chair.  Orton counts out and hits the RKO sort of on the chair for the pin in 16:45.  Fun match.

John Laurinaitis and Eve Torres are backstage with the Raw Roulette wheel.  Teddy Long brings in champagne.  He’s being humiliated after he lost his GM job at WrestleMania.  Laurinaitis gets a phone call from Triple H.

Chicago!

“The Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/ Hornswoggle, Cameron, & Naomi) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger).  They lock up.  Clay overpowers Ziggler.  Ziggler tries to take Clay down, but fails.  Swagger distracts Clay, allowing Ziggler to dropkick him out of the ring.  Ziggler distracts the referee while Swagger hits a shoulder block on the floor.  Back inside, Ziggler goes on the attack.  Clay goes for a knee lift, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 1.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Clay fights out.  Ziggler stays on the attack.  He goes for a suplex, but fails.  Clay throws him with a front suplex and makes his comeback.  Clay knocks Swagger on the apron.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but fails.  Clay hits a headbutt and a big splash for the pin in 4:18.  It was fine for what it was.

Earlier in the day, The Big Show and Cody Rhodes played Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal to determine the stipulation for their Intercontinental title match tonight.  It’s a Tables Match.

Lillian Garcia is the other ring announcer.

The show highlights of Show’s title victory over Rhodes at WrestleMania XXVIII.

Tables Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Big Show (c) vs. Cody Rhodes.  Show beats up Rhodes.  Rhodes bails after taking a big back body drop.  Show sets up a table on the outside and picks up Rhodes.  Rhodes slips off and chop blocks Show’s knee.  Show rallies and continues to beat and toss Rhodes around.  Show throws Rhodes and a table in the ring.  He throws Rhodes at the table in the corner, but Rhodes rebounds off of it and hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Rhodes charges, but Show shoulder blocks him.  Rhodes bails.  Show beats him up on the outside.  Show throws Rhodes back into the ring and gets in the apron.  Rhodes dropkicks Show, who steps through a table at ringside.  The referee rules Rhodes the winner in 4:35.  Stupid finish.  A pissed off Show drops Rhodes after the match, then chokeslams him through a table.  Crowd chants “One more time!”  Show press slams Rhodes out of the ring through another table.  Show leaves.  Rhodes is helped up and manages to hold up his belt while looking like he’s near tears.

Edge DVD plug.

Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan.  Will he become World Champion tonight?  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun interview.  He walks away and they show AJ sulking in the background.

Sheamus/Bryan hype video.

2/3 Falls Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan.  Sheamus is wearing a t-shirt with “18 seconds” written on it, the time in which he beat Bryan for the title at WrestleMania.  I timed it at 19 seconds, but that’s neither here nor there.  Sheamus grabs a headlock and lands a shoulder block.  They do a brief mat exchange.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Bryan avoids it.  Sheamus taunts Bryan with how close that was.  They trade arm locks.  Sheamus hits a Finlay Roll for 2.  For some reason, I don’t know the proper name for that move.  Sheamus rolls through a sunset flip and locks Bryan in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Bryan gets the ropes.  Sheamus goes for it again, but Bryan gets an inside cradle for 2.  Sheamus beats up Bryan.  Bryan lands a lariat.  Sheamus rolls to the apron and Bryan dropkicks him to the floor.  Bryan dives off the apron, but Sheamus catches him and sends him into the barricade.  Back inside, Sheamus goes up top, but Bryan crotches him and goes on the attack.  Bryan goes to work on Sheamus’ shoulder.  They trade strikes.  Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2.  More arm and shoulder torture inflicted by Bryan.  Sheamus makes his comeback and beats up Bryan.  Sheamus hits a fall away slam for 2.  Bryan gets a schoolboy for 2.  Bryan goes for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Sheamus holds on, then hits Bryan with a diving shoulder block for 2.  Sheamus tries to suplex Bryan in from the apron, but Bryan lands on his feet, then low bridges Sheamus out of the ring on the other side.  He goes for a dive, but Sheamus nails him.  Back inside, Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Bryan turns it into a cradle for 2.  Bryan goes for the Yes Lock, but Sheamus counters out repeatedly.  Bryan sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post repeatedly, then kicks the shit out of it while Sheamus is against the ropes.  This causes the referee to DQ Bryan, diving Sheamus the first fall at 14:30.  Bryan goes back on the attack and applies the Yes Lock.  Sheamus struggles, but goes out, and Bryan wins the second fall by referee stop at 16:39.  Bryan celebrates while the ringside doctor checks on Sheamus.  There are dueling “Yes!” and “No!” chants.  Sheamus tells the doctor he can continue.  Bryan charges Sheamus and eats a Brogue Kick.  Delayed cover gets 2.  They trade strikes.  Bryan lands a big kick to the head for 2.  Bryan goes up top.  Sheamus cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Bryan fights him off  and goes for a diving headbutt.  Sheamus avoids it.  Sheamus avoids Bryan in the corner and makes his comeback.  Sheamus lands another Brogue Kick for the pin in 22:55.  Very good match.

WWE YouTube channel plug.

Over the Limit commercial featuring Randy Orton.

Chicago!

Santino Marella is watching the monitor backstage.  2 jobbers are in the ring.  Great Khali comes over to watch too.

The jobbers are named Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton.  They cut a stupid promo about 2 being greater than one.

Handicap Match: Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton vs. Ryback.  There’s a smattering of “Goldberg!” chants.  The jobber with the ridiculous pants attacks Ryback to no avail.  Ryback kills him.  He orders the other jobber to tag in.  The fellow wisely demurs.  Ryback tosses him in anyway and kills him.  Ryback hits the second jobber with a backpack stunner.  Crowd chants “Finish him.”  Ryback kills ridiculous pants with sort of a Fisherman buster Samoan drop, then pins them both in 1:50.  Santino and Khali are impressed.

Matt Striker interviews WWE Champion CM Punk.  Tonight he faces Chris Jericho, who has been insulting his family, in a Chicago Street Fight.

Plug for the PPV theme song.

Punk/Jericho hype video.

Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  This is Punk’s hometown, and members of his family are in the front row.  They brawl, because this is a street fight, see.  Punk throws some plunder into the ring.  He whacks Jericho with a Singapore cane.  Jericho drops Punk with a dropkick and gets hold of the cane.  He whacks Punk, then hits his trademark springboard dropkick to the apron, sending Punk to the floor.  Jericho beats up Punk on the outside.  Back inside, Jericho exposes a turnbuckle.  Punk fires back with chops.  Jericho avoids the running knee to the corner and Punk takes another spill outside.  Jericho beats up Punk right in front of his family.  He gets in Punk’s sister’s face and gets slapped.  Jericho lunges for her and Punk kicks his ass.  Punk slams Jericho through the announce table cover.  Punk goes for a piledriver, but Jericho back body drops him, then hits him with a monitor.  Jericho breaks the other announce table cover over Punk’s back.  Back inside, Jericho covers for 2.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Punk escapes with a backdrop suplex.  Punk pulls Jericho’s throat over the top rope and goes for his springboard lariat, but trips.  Jericho wails on him with the Singapore cane.  Jericho taunts Punk and gets caught with an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho responds with something that gets 2.  Jericho brings in a can of beer, which he pours on Punk.  He brings in another beer and starts drinking it.  Punk, meanwhile, starts kicking his ass.  Punk hits the running knee to the corner and the bulldog headlock, then pulls the Singapore cane into Jericho’s balls and signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Punk counters and hits a powerslam for 2.  Punk goes up top, but Jericho crotches him.  They fight on the top rope.  Punk sends Jericho to the mat with a Mongolian chop, then hits the diving elbow drop for 2.  Jericho counts the Go 2 Sleep again and hits a bulldog.  He goes for the Lionsault, but Punk catches him, picks him up on h is shoulders, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Jericho counters again and throws Punk into a chair wedged between the turnbuckles.  Jericho gets a schoolboy for 2.  Jericho catches Punk with the Codebreaker and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Punk manages to reach the ropes.  It’s a street fight, so the referee can’t force a break.  Punk somehow gets hold of a fire extinguisher and sprays Jericho with it to escape the hold.  Punk hits Jericho in the stomach with it and sends him to the floor.  Another shot to the gut followed by a kick to the head by Punk.  Jericho is on top of the Spanish announce table.  Punk goes to the top rope and hits the diving elbow through the table.  Punk throws Jericho back into the ring and covers for 2.  Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice.  Jericho whacks Punk with the Singapore cane to escape.  Punk hits Jericho with a chair.  Jericho catches him with a Codebreaker into the chair.  Cover only gets 2.  Jericho is getting frustrated.  He beats on Punk some more.  Jericho tries to give Punk the Go 2 Sleep, just to be a dick.  Punk catches Jericho’s leg and catapults  him into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 25:14.  This turned out to be a hell of a match.  Punk celebrates with his friends and family.

Don’t try this at home!

Earlier tonight on the pre-show, Santino Marella defeated The Miz with the Cobra to retain the United States Championship.

The Bella Twins and Beth Phoenix bicker backstage.  Eve Torres says Beth isn’t cleared to wrestle.  Whichever Bella is champion will now defend the title against a surprise opponent who isn’t Kharma.

The show Nikki Bella beating Beth for the Divas title last week on Raw after Beth injured her ankle.  The Bellas cut a promo.  The opponent is the returning Layla.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (c) (w/ Brie Bella) vs. Layla.  They lock up.  Lots of movement from Layla.  Brie trips Layla behind the ref’s back, allowing Nikki to get the advantage.  She DDTs Layla’s foot for 2.  I fucking hate that spot.  Layla gets an inside cradle for 1.  Nikki does whatever.  Layla hits a springboard cross body for 1, then knocks the other Bella off the apron.  Nikki gets the advantage.  Layla gets a wonky cradle.  Nikki counters.  The twins pull the switcheroo.  Brie goes for a facebuster, but Layla turns it into a hangman’s neckbreaker for the pin to win the title in 2:28.  This sucked.

Matt Striker asks John Laurinaitis what he and Triple H were talking about.  Johnny doesn’t tell him.

Chicago!

Lesnar/Cena hype video.

Extreme Rules Match: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena.  Lesnar takes Cena down and mauls him, then kills him with a lariat.  Cena is cut already.  The stop the match to check the cut.  I hate that shit, but I guess Brock is used to it now.  Cena charges Brock and gets taken down and mauled again.  Cena is sent outside.  He’s bleeding pretty bad.  Cena fights back as goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock will have none of that and gives him a couple of German suplexes.  Cena hits a shoulder block and knocks Brock into the referee.  The ref is dead, and Brock kills Cena some more.  Brock torments Cena’s arm with a Kimura, then tosses him from the ring again.  Brock follows Cena out and tortures his arm some more.  Back inside, Brock brings in Cena’s chain, then throws it aside because he’s Brock Lesnar and doesn’t need it.  He thinks again and uses it to chain Cena’s legs together.  Brock hangs Cena from the turnbuckle and massacres him for a while.  Cena gets loose and fights back until he’s thrown into the steps.  Brock throws the referee back into the ring and wakes him up.  Cena has the chain his hand, but Brock steps on it and takes it away.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock counters and hits the F-5, but kills the referee again in the process.  Another referee runs out, but the delay allows Cena to kick out.  Brock clotheslines the new referee.  Brock brings the steps into the ring.  Cena does his “you can’t see me” and first back.  Brock locks in a Kimura on top of the steps.  Cena manages to pick Brock up and slam him on the steps.  Cena goes for the diving Fameasser, but Brock avoids it.  Brock prances on top of the steps while Cena struggles his way back into the ring.  Cena makes it onto the apron and Brock launches himself at Cena, taking a bad tumble and injuring his knee in the process.  Brock gets up and laughs it off.  He charges Cena again, but Cena punches him with the chain.  Brock is bleeding now.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on the steps for the pin in 17:42.  Aside from the stupidity of putting Cena over in Brock’s first match back, this was awesome.

Cena takes the mic after the match and cuts a promo putting over Chicago.  He says he’s going home, which is a lie.

Good show.  There were a few really good matches.  The main event is soured by the stupidity of Brock losing so quickly.

WWE Superstars 3/24/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Tonight, Daniel Byran & Gail Kim vs. Tyson Kidd & Melina!  That might be pretty sweet.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Tyler Reks vs. Chris Masters.  They do a bit of wrestling.  Masters lands a shoulder block.  Reks gets a side headlock takeover, then lands a shoulder block of his own.  Masters throws Reks out of the ring.  Reks throws a fit outside.  Back inside, Masters lands a shoulder block and goes for the Master Lock.  Reks escapes and takes out the leg that was injured last week on Smackdown.  Reks goes to work on the leg.  Masters fights back and back body drops Reks to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Reks works on Masters’ leg for a while.  Masters gets a schoolboy for 2, then hits a Samoan Drop.  Masters makes his comeback.  Spinebuster gets 2.  Masters falls down because of his bad leg.  Reks hits a Complete Shot for 2.  Masters counters a short lariat and locks in the Master Lock for the referee stop (6:39 shown).  Fine little match.

From Smackdown: The Corre beat down The Big Show and Kane.  Tomorrow, Wade Barrett challenges Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship!

Tonight, mixed tag!

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Great Khali & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Khali is bandaged up from the beating he took on Raw from The Miz last week.  Yoshi and Jimmy go at it.  Yoshi hits a very wonky cradle out the corner for 2, then hits some arm drags.  Usos cut Yoshi off and get the heat on him.  Khali gets the lukewarm tag and… he doesn’t run wild, but he stumbles wild.  Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge (tree slam) on Jimmy for the pin in 3:57.  Yoshi worked the whole match, so it was fine.

Tonight, mixed tag!

WrestleMania hype.

The main event is next!

Daniel Bryan & Gail Kim vs. Tyson Kidd & Melina.  Gail and Melina lock up.  Melina backs Gail into the corner and cheap shots her.  They do some shit.  Gail gets a sunset flip for 2.  Gail hits a neckbreaker and tags Bryan in.  Bryan launches Gail onto Melina, then lifts her for a dropkick to Kidd.  Bryan gives Kidd a dropkick of his own for 2.  Bryan works Kidd’s arm.  Kidd lands a dropkick to the head and puts a beating on Bryan.  Kidd backs Bryan into the heel corner and beats on him.  Melina chokes Bryan behind the referee’s back.  Kidd continues to choking with his boot.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter.  Bryan counters and goes for the LeBell Lock.  Kidd gets the ropes.  Melina slaps Bryan.  Gail takes her out.  Bryan hits Kidd with a running knee off the apron.  Gail hits Melina with a diving cross body to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Bryan beats up Kidd.  Kidd tags out.  Gail comes in and beats up Melina.  Gail applies a stretch muffler.  Melina escapes and does a Matrix dodge to avoid a cross body.  Melina gets the heat on Gail.  Melina goes for the Hog Log, but Gail counters.  Melina hits her with a split kick for 2.  Melina applies a wonky submission hold and turns into a Gedo Clutch for 2.  Gail turns into sort of a surfboard, then turns it into a Gedo Clutch for 2.  Double “drive each others’ face into the mat” spot.  Bryan and Kidd tag in.  Bryan runs wild.  Clothesline gets 2.  Bryan lands a high kick and goes up top.  Melina crotches him.  Gail takes out Melina.  Kidd springs up to attack Bryan, but is pushed down.  Bryan and Gail hit stereo missile dropkicks.  Bryan locks in the LeBell Lock for the win (9:06 shown).  Fun match.  Bryan and Gail celebrate.

Not a bad show this week.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/18/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 20, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews and Booker T are the announcers.  Tonight, The Big Show & Kane take on The Corre for the Tag Team Championship!  Wait a second… didn’t they announce The Corre vs. Edge & Christian for the titles during Raw?  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Geeks at ringside are putting together the Cole Mine.  Michael Cole gets his own entrance.  Fucking ugh.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Brodus Clay (w/ Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez).  Edge hammers Clay with punches, who takes them like a big man should.  Edge comes off the top rope, but Clay catches him and gives him an Exploder.  Clay goes to work on Edge’s arm.  Edge fails a tornado DDT.  Clay succeeds with a clothesline, then fails with a headbutt.  Edge fails the Edgecution, but gives Clay a drop toe hold into the turnbuckles.  Edge hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge goes for a sunset flip.  Clay sits on him for 2.  Edge avoids a running ass to the corner and hits a diving bulldog headlock.  Edge goes for the spear.  Ricardo distracts the ref.  Del Rio trips Edge.  Clay does something to him for 2.  Christian comes out and attacks Del Rio.  Clay headbutts Christian off the apron.  Edge spears Clay for the pin in 5:09.  Fun match.  I greatly enjoy Brodus Clay.  Del Rio attacks Edge after the match.  Christian makes the save.  They brawl outside the ring and over the announce table.  Referees break it up.  Teddy Long comes out and books Del Rio vs. Christian for tonight inside a Steel Cage~!

Next, Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus, Champion vs. Champion!  Matthews says Champion vs. Champion is rare.  He is blatantly lying to you, because it’s WWE doctrine to shamelessly and unapologetically lie to their fans.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Sheamus vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Sheamus attacks Kofi’s arm.  Cole is fucking obnoxious and should fuck off and die.  Kofi fights back and hits corner punches.  Sheamus drops Kofi’s face into the top turnbuckle.  Sheamus hits a short lariat for 2.  Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2, then applies a hold.  Kofi fights out and eats an elbow smash.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick in the corner, then hits the diving cross body.  Sheamus rolls through and goes for a powerslam.  Kofi escapes and lands some blows.  Kofi hits a side Russian leg sweep, a big chop, and the Boom Drop.  He goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Sheamus bails to the apron and pulls Kofi’s neck across the top rope.  Kofi fights out of the Irish Curse and hits the S.O.S. for 2.  They go outside and Kofi hits a clothesline off the steps.  Sheamus kicks the steps into Kofi’s leg.  Back inside, Sheamus hits the brogue kick for the pin in 5:16.  It was okay.

They show the recent happenings with Kane, The Big Show, and The Corre.

The Big Show and Kane chat backstage.  Show wants to bury the hatchet and win the tag titles.  Kane goozles him.  Show goozles Kane back.  They break their goozles.  Kane says “You complete me.”  I’m confused.

Trent Barreta vs. Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes has new music, a towel over his head, and is still wrestling in his suit.  Rhodes beats up Barreta and heatbutts him with the face mask for the pin in 48 seconds.  Well… there ya go.

They show Alberto Del Rio injuring Christian back in September.  They meet in a cage TONIGHT!

Kansas City!

Replay of Shawn Michaels talking about The Undertaker.

Layla in action next.  Ugh.

Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly.  McCool on commentary does not make this better.  They shove each other.  Kelly rams Layla’s face into the turnbuckle, then stomps on her.  Kelly  does a tarantula headscissors thing, then hits a Lou Thesz press.  Kelly hits an X-Factor for 2.  Kelly goes for the handspring to the corner, but Layla dropkicks her.  Kelly rams Layla’s head into the mat, then gets on her shoulders, then falls off, then dropkicks her.  Kelly goes up top, but McCool yells at her.  Layla pulls her down and pins her in 2:05.  This was terrible.

Tag titles are NEXT!

Sin Cara vignette.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of The Corre vs. The Big Show & Kane.  Kane beats up Gabriel.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Gabriel flips over Kane’s back and tags in Slater, who promptly gets beaten up by Kane.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Slater takes out Kane’s leg.  The Corre go to work on it.  Gabriel dives at Kane, but gets caught with an uppercut.  Show tags in and runs wild on Slater.  Show hits the chokeslam  on Slater.  Gabriel pulls the referee out of the ring to cause the DQ in 3:03.  Kane throws Gabriel into the ring.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson appear and attack Show and Kane.  Barrett hits the Wasteland on Show.  Kane tries to fight back, but gets beaten down as well.  Show tries to make the save, but gets beaten down again.  The Corre put one section of steps on top of Kane and hit it with the other one.  Jackson and Barrett drop Show on the announce table, which awkwardly doesn’t break.

Todd Grisham, who is still employed, interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is not an animal.

Jack Swagger vs. Chris Masters.  Jobber entrance for Masters, who I’m sure will be doing the job.  They show Swagger and Cole beating up Jim Ross on Raw.  Swagger beats up Masters while Cole practically masturbates at ringside.  Masters hits a Samoan Drop.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but Swagger backs him into the corner and goes for the ankle lock.  Masters kicks Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger rams Master’s ankle into the post, then locks in the ankle lock for the win 1:56.  Well, that’s done.  Cole gets in the ring and puts Masters in the ankle lock and screams “COME ON LAWLER!” repeatedly.  I can not wait for Lawler to punch Cole in the face at WrestleMania.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  2 Raw guys on the show for no apparent reason.  Mysterio slides under Dibiase, but Dibiase pounces and pounds on him.  Rey sends Dibiase into the turnbuckles, then dives off the top.  Dibiase meets him with a dropkick for 2.  Rey goes for a rana, flips out, lands on his feet, and eats a clothesline.  Cover gets 2 for Dibiase.  Dibiase applies a chin lock.  Dibiase hits a backbreaker.  Mysterio goes to the apron and goes for a springboard something.  Mysterio ends up planting Dibiase with a DDT.  Dibiase hits a weird reverse powerbomb for 2.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street, but Mysterio counters it.  Mysterio hits the 619 and the diving splash for the pin in 3:35.  This felt way longer than 3:35.  I wasn’t into it.

They show Christian returning at Elimination Chamber to save Edge from Alberto Del Rio.  They meet in a cage TONIGHT~!

WrestleMania hype.

The cage is being lowered.  The main event is NEXT!

I’m watching the UK version of Smackdown, which includes a random “From The Vault” with part of a Triple H & Undertaker vs. Edge & Big Show match.  Jim Ross and Tazz are the announcers, so this must be from 2008 or 2009.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.

Steel Cage Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian.  They tear into each other immediately, which is the way and grudge match in a steel cage should start.  Del Rio counters the Killswitch and sends Christian to the corner, then clotheslines him.  Christian reverses Del Rio’s whip and Del Rio climbs up the cage.  Christian follows and they fight on the top rope.  Del Rio either goes for a German suplex or some prison rape.  Christian avoids both unpleasant fates, but does suffer a top rope Samoan Drop that looked like it sucked for both guys.  Insta-commercials.  Don’t try this at home!  Del Rio kicks Christian in the face and stomps on him.  Del Rio telegraphs a back body drop and gets kicked in the face, but avoids a charge and throws Christian into the cage, then pushes Christian’s face into the fence with his foot.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Del Rio tries to climb out of the cage, but Christian pulls him down by the foot.  Del Rio kicks Christian in the leg, then tries to harpoon him into the cage.  Christian saves himself with his hands, then hits a reverse DDT for 2.  Christian beats up Del Rio and launches him into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Christian tries to get out through the door, but Del Rio prevents it.  Christian tries to climb out of the cage.  Del Rio tries to prevent that, gets knocked down with an elbow, then jumps up to the top rope and drops Christian with an enzuigi for 2.  Del Rio tries to get out through the door, but Christian isn’t having that shit.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Christian counters and hits the Killswitch for 2.  Christian climbs again.  Del Rio pulls him down and beats him up against the cage.  Del Rio climbs to the top of the cage.  Christian joins him.  They fight on top of the cage.  Del Rio rams Christian’s face into the steel.  He starts to go down the side, but Christian climbs on his back.  They fight, and Del Rio knocks Christian to the floor.  Christian wins the match (9:36 shown).  Good match.  Del Rio attacks Christian afterward and says he’s going to destroy him with a chair.  Edge appears in Del Rio’s entrance car and honks the horn to get Del Rio’s attention.  Edge teases vandalizing the car.  Del Rio begs him not to.  Brodus Clay appears and attacks Edge, putting him down with a chair shot.  Del Rio delivers a con-chair-to to Edge’s arm.

Besides the opener and the main event, this show was pretty lame.

WWE Superstars 3/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Tyler Reks.  They lock up.  Reks shoves JTG around.  JTG throws some punches.  Reks charges him in the corner and misses.  JTG lands a dropkick.  Reks clings to the ropes for safety.  Reks comes back and throws JTG out of the ring, then puts a hurting on him on the outside.  Back inside, Reks hits a backbreaker for 2.  JTG tries to fight back.  Reks hits a Final Cut for 2.  JTG avoids Reks in the corner again and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Reks holds onto the ropes to avoid a reverse cradle.  JTG gets it on the second try to for 2.  JTG low bridges Reks out of the ring and hits a diving shoulder block off the apron.  Back inside, JTG plants Reks with a DDT for 2.  JTG comes off the top rope, but Reks ducks him and kicks him in the gut.  Reks his his Burning Hammer for the pin in 5:48.  They tried, but I couldn’t get into it.

Tonight, Raw replays featuring Snooki.

WWE.com plug.

From Raw: Vickie Guerrero beat Trish Stratus after Dolph Ziggler, John Morrison, and LayCool got involved.  A brawl with Snooki happened and they booked a 6-person tag for Mania.

Santino & Kozlov in action next.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Ugh.  Santino has a new singlet.  I notice things like that.  The announcers don’t know the trick to telling the Usos apart.  Santino and Jey do some shit.  For what it’s worth, Jey is the one with the cross tattoo on his right arm.  Usos make quick tags and work over Santino.  Usos pull the switcheroo, but it doesn’t work.  Santino continues playing face in peril.  Kozlov gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Powerslam on Jey.  Jimmy saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino back body drops Jimmy on the floor.  Kozlov boots Jey and tags out.  Santino hits the Cobra on Jey for the pin in 4:24.  There ya go.

8-woman tag match tonight.  Ugh.

Raw Rebound.

WrestleMania hype.

Divas tag match next.  Ugh.

Melina, Alicia Fox, & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Natalya, Gail Kim, & Tamina.  Tamina beats up one of the Bellas.  Fox beats up Tamina.  Tamina beats up Fox.  Fox beats up Gail.  Gail hits a dropkick and a clothesline for 2.  Natalya tags in.  She and Gail give Fox a double suplex.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Fox makes it to the ropes before she can.  One of the Bellas tags in.  Natalya schoolgirls her for 2.  The other Bella distracts Natalya to let the legal Bella get the advantage.  The heel divas cut Natalya off and get the heat on her.  Insta-commercials.  Natalya continues to play face in peril.  Natalya gets a cradle on Melina for 1.  Melina applies a rear chin lock while chewing on her hair.  Natalya escapes and goes for an enzuigiri.  Melina ducks.  One of the Bellas pulls Eve off the apron.  Tamina drops both of the Bellas at ringside.  Natalya clotheslines Melina and makes the tag to Eve.  Natalya slams Melina.  Eve’s first act of the match is to hit a moonsault press on Melina for the pin (5:55 shown).  At least it’s over.  Face divas celebrate.

I was not into this show at all.  Not only was it not good, but I was also not in the right state of mind to get through this in a good humor.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/7/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, recap of last week’s happenings.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

The Undertaker comes to the ring and talks about his match with Triple H at WrestleMania.  They show a very cool video package of the 2 Undertaker/Shawn Michaels WrestleMania match.  He wants the match at Mania to be No Holds Barred, because apparently someone is going to die.  He says Triple H will “rest in peace” at WrestleMania.

Tonight, John Cena talks shit about The Rock!  Stone Cold Steve Austin returns to Raw!

Randy Orton brawls with the three remaining members of the New Nexus backstage.  Nexus get the better of it since it’s 3-on-1.  Punk sends Orton’s head into a wall repeatedly, then delivers the Go 2 Sleep.  Punk orders Otunga and Ryan to drag Orton to the ring.  Commercials.

The New Nexus are beating down Randy Orton in the ring.  Referees come out to break it up.  Otunga wants his match with Orton.  Orton drags himself up and agrees.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga.  Otunga beats on Orton.  Otunga hits a fancy elbow drop for 2.  Orton hits a body slam for 2.  Otunga hits a spinebuster for 2.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere for the pin 1:59.  Otunga is banned from ringside at WrestleMania too.  Mason Ryan attacks Orton and drops him with a big boot.  He picks Orton up and gets dropped with an RKO.  CM Punk tries to hit the ring, but Orton scares him away, then punts Otunga in the head, then humps the mat.

Tonight, Cole reveals his special guest referee for WrestleMania.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: John Cena overpowering The Miz to defeat Alex Riley in a Steel Cage Match last week, then getting dropped with the Skull Crushing Finale.

Dallas!

The Miz is apparently boycotting Raw tonight.

Christian and Alberto Del Rio (w/ Brodus Clay and introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez) come out for a match.  I have know idea why this happening on Raw, since they’re both Smackdown guys.  Del Rio sends his NXT rookie Brodus Clay to wrestle Christian instead.

Christian vs. Brodus Clay (w/ Alberto Del Rio).  Clay is a big fat dude.  He shoves Christian down and steps on his back.  Clay blocks the Killswitch and drops Christian with a punch.  Christian tries to fight back and gets dropped with a headbutt.  Clay huts some elbow drops for 2.  Clay cranks on Christian’s previously injured arm, then hits a fall away slam.  Christian avoids a big splash and hits an ineffective missile dropkick.  A second missile dropkick drops Clay.  Cover gets 2.  Clay hits a lariat for 2.  Christian avoids a powerslam and hits a tornado DDT for the pin in 2:41.  Good little match.  I rather like this Brodus Clay fellow.  Del Rio immediately attacks Christian.  Christian fights back.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special.

Replay of The Rock’s live via satellite promo from last week.  Cena responds tonight!

Also tonight, Stone Cold returns!  Commercials.

Sin Cara vignette.

Newest Hall of Fame inductee is… Sunny!

Divas title match next.  Commercials!

WWE Rewind: One of the Bellas won a Battle Royal last week.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Eve Torres (c) (w/ Gail Kim) vs. Nikki Bella (w/ Brie Bella).  They lock up.  Eve throws Nikki across the ring, then rams her face into the turnbuckle, then throws her around some more.  Cover gets 2.  Nikki beats up Eve and throws her around.  Cover gets 2.  Nikki works the hair, of course.  Michael Cole shouts for them to get this over with, and for once I agree with the turd.  Cole babbles on and on and says “I’m the main event” 7,000 times.  Eve hits a flash kick.  The Bellas pull the switcheroo.  The referee catches them.  Eve throws Nikki back in and hits a neckbreaker drop for the pin in 3:07 to mercifully end this.  Cole reveals his referee next.  Commercials.

Snooki from Jersey Shore will be here next week.  UGH.  WWE, if you’re going to rip off TNA, rip off SOMETHING THAT ISN’T COMPLETELY FUCKING HORRIBLE AND MAKES ME WANT TO PUT A BULLET IN MY FUCKING HEAD.

Last week, Jack Swagger fucked Lawler’s ankle up while Cole humped the mat in joy.

Michael Cole is in the ring being a cocksucker.  He has a contract of the referee to sign.  Cole spazzes out for a while, then talks about his referee.  He fakes like it’s going to be Steve Austin, then introduces John Bradshaw Layfield!  I fully expected something stupid like Alex Riley, but JBL is pretty cool.  JBL shit talks the crowd, then puts over Cole.  Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out.  JBL and Cole bitch at him.  Cole hides behind JBL, of course.  Austin stuns JBL.  Cole scampers out of the ring.  Austin drinks beer.  Cole all but cries on commentary.  Austin pours beer on JBL, then signs the contract to become the referee for Lawler/Cole at Mania.  By this point, I think Cole IS crying.  Austin shakes Cole’s hand, then pours beer on him.  Yay!  Austin sarcastically wishes Cole good luck.  JBL gets  up.  Austin gives him a beer, toasts him, then stuns him again.  Yay again!  Jack Swagger comes out to watch Cole throw a temper tantrum.  This segment was awesome.

Another replay of Rock’s promo from last week.  Tonight, Cena talks shit back.  Commercials.

Michael Cole whines to Jack Swagger backstage.  Swagger says he’ll break Austin’s ankle.  Cole goes to take a shower.

Jerry Lawler, having been missing all show for no apparent reason, comes out to join Matthews for commentary.  They show Austin signing the contract and pouring beer on Cole again.  That never gets old.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. King Sheamus.  They show Sheamus getting beaten up by Triple H and losing to Evan Bourne last week.  Sheamus attacks Bryan and stomps him down in the corner.  Sheamus hits the Polish Hammer for 2.  Bryan dropkicks Sheamus to the apron, then dropkicks him off the apron.  Sheamus sells a leg injury and gets counted out in 1:12.  Sheamus throws a fit.  Well this was lame.  Sheamus says he’ll end his losing streak next week.  He challenges Bryan to put up the title against Sheamus’ job.  Bryan accepts.

Up next, Shawn Michaels speaks SOME MORE about Undertaker/Triple H.  Commercials.

CM Punk (w/ Mason Ryan) vs. R-Truth.  Truth gets a schoolboy for 2.  Punk throws Truth into 3 posts.  Truth tries to fight back, but Punk stomps him down.  Punk hits a snapmare for 2, then works Truth’s shoulder.  Truth makes his comeback.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but Truth counters and hits a jumping kick for 2.  Punk pulls Truth’s arm across the top rope, then takes him down, pounds the shoulder, and locks in the Anaconda Vice for the submission in 2:32.  Ryan gives Truth a powerslam afer the match.

More video of Shawn Michaels talking about the Undertaker/Triple H WrestleMania match.

Vickie Guerrero comes out.  Joy.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Snooki next week.  Kill me now.

Vickie Guerrero is in the ring being obnoxious.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler, who has been signed to Raw.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. John Morrison.  Vickie on commentary.  Ugh.  They lock up.  Ziggler gets a headlock and a shoulder block.  Morrison goes for a leap frog, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee.  Commercials.  Ziggler works a headlock.  Morrison avoids Ziggler in the corner and makes his comeback.  Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive for 2, as Ziggler gets a foot on the rope.  Ziggler rakes Morrison’s face and hits the Zig Zag for the pin in 5:33.  The less than half they showed of it was fine.  Vickie gets in the ring to celebrate.  iBooker dings in.  Lawler reads that Ziggler has been hired, but Vickie hasn’t.  Vickie will have to win her match next week against… Trish Stratus.  Security comes out to take Vickie out.  She’s pissed that Dolph doesn’t help her.

Another replay of Rock’s promo.  Cena responds next.  Commercials.

Dallas.

Yet another Rock reply.

John Cena comes out, talks for a bit, then raps about The Rock not actually showing up to do his shit talking.  He reveals a parody of The Rock’s shirt that says “I bring it via satellite.”  WWE Champion The Miz appears and clocks Cena with the title belt.  Twice.  Miz cuts a promo on Cena, then stares at the camera to talk shit to The Rock.  Miz gives Cena the Skull Crushing Finale, then the People’s Elbow.

Besides the Christian match and the Austin segment, I pretty much hated this show.

WWE Elimination Chamber 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Oakland, California!  Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio cuts a promo about how he’ll win the title at WrestleMania.  He’s interrupted by his opponent, Kofi Kingston.

Non-Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Kofi backs Del Rio into the corner.  Del Rio cowers for safety in the ropes.  I think I hear a “DEL RIO!” chant.  Del Rio gets the advantage and goes to work.  Kofi rallies and Del Rio hides in the ropes again, then bails.  Ricardo fans Del Rio with his scarf.  Awesome.  Kofi goes after Del Rio on the outside and brings him back in.  Kofi beats up Del Rio.  Booker is kind of obnoxious on commentary.  Kofi tries to go up top and gets bumped to the floor.  Del Rio sends Kofi into the steps and throws him back into the ring.  Cover gets 2.  Del Rio applies a body scissors.  Kofi fights out.  Del Rio throws him down and covers for 2.  Del Rio pounds on Kofi.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then goes back to the body scissors.  Kofi escapes again and hits a rebound flying forearm.  They trade blows.  Kofi makes his comeback and hits the Boom Drop.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Del Rio avoids it, then avoids Kofi in the corner.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and goes for the diving cross body.  Del Rio catches him midair with knees for 2.  Del Rio goes for a superplex, but Kofi fights him off and hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Del Rio hits a swank gut buster for 2.  Kofi catches Del Rio with a DDT and covers.  Ricardo distracts the referee and Kofi.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Kofi counters into the S.O.S. for 2.  Del Rio hits a swank hangman’s neckbreaker and follows with the Minoru Special.  Kofi tries to fight it, but is forced to submit in 10:29.  Good match.

Randy Orton stalks around backstage.  This is heavily discussed by the announcers.

Todd Grisham interviews World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  Drew McIntyre interrupts to bitch at him about Kelly Kelly being fired.  McIntyre says he’ll win the title tonight.  Edge takes him about as seriously as I do.

Elimination Chamber song!

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Entrances for the Smackdown Chamber Match.  Teddy Long comes out to introduce the replacement for the recently fired Dolph Ziggler, The Big Show!

Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Kane vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Edge and Mysterio start.  Edge wins the lock up, then they trade blows.  Edge hits a flapjack for 2.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors.    Edge back body drops Mysterio out of the ring and onto the steel floor.  Ouch.  Mysterio taunts McIntyre into punching his pod, then hits Edge with a flying move that I totally missed because I was typing.  Shit.  I bet it was a sweet Frankensteiner, too.  Cover gets 2.  Edge sends Mysterio into the side of the chamber and puts the boots to him.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Mysterio drop toe holds Edge into the turnbuckles.  Barrett enters the match and goes to work on Mysterio.  Edge launches Mysterio into a seated senton on Barrett, then slides Mysterio out of the ring.  Barrett drops Edge for 2.  Barrett throws Mysterio back into the ring and hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett continues to beat up Mysterio and Edge.  Edge low bridges Barrett out of the ring.  Mysterio comes back to life and dropkicks Edge.  He goes up top, but Barrett cuts him off and goes for the Wasteland.  Mysterio grabs onto the cage to save himelf and tries to climb up.  Barrett tries a powerbomb, but Mysterio ranas him into the ring.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Edge mows him down with a big boot for 2.  Edge stomps Barrett in the corner.  Kane enters the match and runs wild.  Everybody takes turns getting near falls.  Edge, Mysterio, and Barrett do a double clothesline spot.  Kane clears the ring and beats up Barrett on the outside.  Mysterio goes up top, but gets punched by Kane and falls into the tree of woe.  Edge hits Mysterio with a dropkick for 2.  Kane kicks ass some more.  McIntyre enters the match and immediately throws Mysterio like a lawn dart into a pod, breaking the class.  McIntyre and Barrett beat up Kane.  McIntyre turns on Barrett and throws him through the glass too.  McIntyre is vicious tonight!  He goes to work on Edge, at whom he’s good and pissed off.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes to spear McIntyre, but gets caught by Edge.  Lots of counters.  Mysterio misses the 619 on Kane.  Kane throws Mysterio into the post.  Ouch.  Kane counters the Future Shock and back body drops McIntyre into Kane.  Kane and Edge boot each other down.  Big Show enters the match and runs wild on everyone except for Barrett, who cowers away.  Show gets hold of him and throws him through the class.  They’re going to have to replace all of that glass for the other chamber match.  Show beats the shit out of Barrett and kills him with the KO punch for the pin in 18:50.  Mysterio is on top of a pod.  Kane hits Show with a diving lariat.  Edge hits Show with a diving elbow drop for 2.  McIntyre hits Show with the Future Shock for 2.  Mysterio comes off of the pod with the seated senton for 2.  Kane boots Show.  Mysterio hits the 619.  Edge spears Show.  Kane decks Edge and Mysterio, then chokeslams Show for the pin in 20:54.  McIntyre comes off the top, but Kane catches him and chokeslams him for the pin in 21:09.  Edge and Mysterio try to work together, but Kane kicks their asses.  Mysterio plants Kane with a swinging DDT for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard enzui leg drop for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the diving senton.  Kane catches him.  Edge spears both of them together and pins Kane in 22:51.  Kane chokeslams Mysterio and Edge before leaving.  They eventually make it up.  Mysterio avoids the spear and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Edge rolls through a rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio hits the flip bulldog for 2.  Mysterio goes up top.  Edge tries to cut him off.  Mysterio headbutts him down and tries a rana.  Edge catches him with a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Edge tries another powerbomb, but Mysterio hits a rana and goes for the 619.  Edge catches his legs and locks in the Edgecator!  Mysterio turns it into a cradle for 2.  Mysterio avoids the spear.  Edge rallies and hits it on the second try, but Mysterio kicks out!  Mysterio hits the 619 and the springboard splash.  Edge kicks out at 2!  Mysterio hits a headscissors and another 619.  He comes off  the top, but Edge cuts him down midair with a spear for the pin in 31:30.  Edge retains the title.  Good match, especially the final Edge/Mysterio segment.  Alberto Del Rio appears and attacks Edge!  Del Rio locks on the cross armbreaker.  CHRISTIAN returns to make the save~!  Christian beats the piss out of Del Rio in revenge for Del Rio putting him out of action several months ago.  Christian hits the Killswitch!  After Christian leaves, Edge spears Del Rio.

WrestleMania hype video.

Matt Striker interviews Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Oakland!

Booker T goes into the ring to introduce a special guest, someone who will be a trainer on Tough Enough: Trish Stratus!  They banter a bit.  She rips off The Rock’s “Finally” catchphrase and Booker’s “Sucka,” which prompts Booker to bust out the “She didn’t say that.”  Booker asks why she’s here tonight.  She says she’s here to see Lawler win the title.  Booker finishes with the “Can you dig that?”  Well, this was pretty pointless.

The Chaperone trailer.  Yes, they’re wasting PPV time with this shit.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Corre (w/ Ezekiel Jackson).  Kozlov and Santino throw Slater around a bit.  Slater cuts Santino off.  Corre work over Santino.  Kozlov tags in and throws Gabriel around.  Gabriel drops Kozlov with a head kick and tags in Slater.  Slater hits a wonky slingshot splash for 2.  Corre get the heat on Kozlov.  Santino gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Santino hits the Cobra on Gabriel, then gets a 2 count on Slater.  Corre cut off Santino.  Santino avoids an Eddie hilo from Gabriel and tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov smashes Gabriel and pummels him with headbutts.  Slater makes a blind tag and gives Kozlov a reverse DDT.  Gabriel tags in and hits the 450 splash on Kozlov for the pin in 5:10.  This sucked, but it got the belts off of Santino and Kozlov, so it accomplished something.

Hall of Fame hype video.

Todd Grisham interviews WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be sad and obnoxious.  She whines about Dolph Ziggler being fired from Smackdown.  Teddy Long comes out and tells her the stuff it.  Vickie begs him to rehire Dolph.  Teddy says he is in a hiring mood.  Vickie is happy until Teddy reveals that he’s not hiring Dolph, he’s rehired Kelly Kelly.  Bad call, Teddy.  Kelly goes after Vickie, who tries running away, then tries to make friends.  Kelly kicks her ass.  Michelle McCool and Layla attack Kelly.  Trish Stratus comes and runs off LayCool.  They sneak back and cheap shot her.  Trish kicks their asses.  McCool takes a Chick Kick.  Layla gets a horribly botches Stratusphere.  Trish ends with a double Stratusfaction.  Trish and Kelly celebrate.

Miz/Lawler hype video.

WWE Championship Match: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  They lock up.  Lawler gets a schoolboy for 2.  Miz beats on Lawler.  Lawler gets a backslide for 2.  Lawler gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulder block.  Lawler hits a short lariat for 2.  Lawler hits a shoulder block and a cross body block for 2.  Lawler lands some fucking great punches, then clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  Riley distracts Lawler, allowing Miz to send him into the post.  Miz puts Lawler on the apron and hits a knee lift.  Cover gets 2.  Miz goes to work on Lawler.  Riley gets in a cheap shot behind the referee’s back.  Cover gets 2.  Miz hits the running clothesline to the corner, then goes up top.  Lawler cuts him off and hits a superplex that was damn near a brainbuster for 2.  They trade punches.  That’s a game Miz is not going to win.  Lawler lands a couple of dropkicks and hits a fist drop for 2.  Riley trips Lawler behind the referee’s back.  The referee tells Riley to get the F out!  Lawler avoids Miz in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Lawler goes for the piledriver!  Miz slips out and boots Lawler in the face for 2.  Lawler turns it into a crucifix hold for 2!  Lawler low bridges Miz out of the ring.  Cole yells at Lawler.  Miz takes advantage of the distraction and rams Lawler’s head into the announce table.  Lawler avoids it the second time and smashes Miz’s face into the table, then throws him over the table into Cole!  Back inside, Lawler goes up top and hits a diving punch for 2.  At least Cole has shut the hell up for a bit.  Lawler counters the Skull Crushing Finale.  Miz hits the backbreaker.  Lawler counts the neckbreaker that follows and hits a DDT!  Lawler goes up top and lowers the strap!  Diving fist drop!  Miz gets his foot on the bottom rope at 2.  Lawler goes for the piledriver, but Miz backdrops him and lands on top for 2.  Lawler turns it into a sunset flip for 2.  Miz kicks Lawler in the head and hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 12:09.  Very good match.  Cole gets in the ring to celebrate with Miz.  After they leave, Lawler gets a much deserved standing ovation.

2/21/11!  That’s tomorrow!  What’s gonna happen?

John Cena eats Fruity Pebbles backstage.  Todd Grisham comes in to ask him about The Rock, but he no-sells it and talks about the Elimination Chamber.  He says he fells “Yabba dabba delicious.”  Seriously.

Matt Striker interview CM Punk.

Another WrestleMania hype video.  As usual, the theme song is fucking horrible.

Highlights of the Smackdown Chamber match from earlier tonight.

Elimination Chamber Match to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. R-Truth vs. CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. King Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  Sheamus and Morrison lock up.  Sheamus lands a shoulder block.  Sheamus takes Morrison down with a side headlock takeover a few times, then slaps Morrison.  Morrison takes him down and pounds on him.  Sheamus rolls to the outside.  Morrison hits him with a dive.  Morrison tries the Flying Chuck, misses, and hits it off of the cage.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus drops Morrison with a short lariat and commences to putting a beating on him.  Morrison drops Sheamus with a kick and goes for the Starship Pain, but Sheamus recovers and pushes him to the outside.  Sheamus beats on Morrison.  Orton enters the match and runs wild.  Orton throws Morrison through one of the pods.  So we’re playing that game again, are we.  Orton gives Sheamus the DDT OF MURDER on the steel floor!  Orton puts the boots to his downed opponents.  Orton hits a superplex on Morrison for 2.  Orton hits a superplex on Sheamus for 2.  Miz and Riley are shown watching backstage.  Punk enters the match, but gets stuck in the door because it won’t open.  Orton is standing right there waiting.  He says “fuck it” and starts pounding on him.  Orton throws Punk into the ring and hits the RKO for the pin in 9:00.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that Punk didn’t have a fair chance, so he’s back in the match and allowed to reenter his pod for some reason.  Orton is pissed and beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2.  Morrison beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus sends him outside and poses.  He sets up Orton for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and goes for the RKO.  Sheamus counters and avoids the brogue kick.  Morrison drops Orton with the Flying Chuck.  Sheamus beats up Morrison.  Cena enters the match and is immediately attacked in his pod by Sheamus.  Cena rallies and tries to give Morrison the Attitude Adjustment out of the ring.  Morrison lands on his feet.  A minute later, Cena does it again and gets it right.  Sheamus hits Cena and Morrison with a slingshot shoulder block to the outside.  Orton and Sheamus brawl.  Orton hits a knee drop for 2.  Sheamus drops Orton and throws Cena and Morrison back into the ring.  R-Truth enters the match and is met by Sheamus.  Truth avoids the shot and beats down Sheamus in the pod.  Sheamus takes a hip toss onto the floor, which had to suck.  Truth runs wild in the ring.  Sheamus comes back in and kills Truth with the brogue kick for the pin in 17:32.  Morrison beats on Sheamus.  Orton throws Morrison through the glass again.  Orton and Cena brawl.  Orton drops him with a dropkick for 2.  Punk enters the match again.  Orton lies in wait.  Cena tries to give Orton the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton counters with the RKO on the floor.  Sheamus hits Orton with the brogue kick.  Punk drops Sheamus with a high kick, then covers Orton for 2.  In the ring, Punk humps the mat to mock Orton, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 21:34.  Punk runs around attack people until he’s dropped by Sheamus.  Morrison beats up Sheamus and climbs to the top of a pod.  Sheamus trips him and climps up there with him for some damn reason.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Morrison counters and kicks him down to the mat.  Morrison climbs along the roof of the cage and comes down onto Sheamus with a cross body for the pin in 25:18.  Cena makes his comeback on Punk and goes for the Attitude Adjustment on the floor.  Morrison dives onto both of them to prevent that from happening.  Punk covers Cena for 2.  Cena avoids the running knee strike and Morrison puts himself through the glass.  He really likes going through that glass.  Punk goes to work on Cena and locks in a figure-four headscissors.  Cena stands up with Punk on his shoulders.  Morrison comes off the top rope with a Doomsday Device clothesline!  Cover gets 2.  Morrison covers Cena for 2 for good measure.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Morrison.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick.  Punk dives to the outside to take out Cena.  Cover gets 2.  Punk catapults Cena into one of the pods.  He tries to do the same to Morrison, who catches himself and hits the Flying Chuck off the cage.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but Punk avoids it and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 32:52.  Cena gives Punk the Attitude Adjustment onto the floor for the pin in 33:12.  Enjoyable match.

Fun, enjoyable, solid show.

WWE Royal Rumble 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, cool PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Boston!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Todd Grisham are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Edge can’t use the spear because Vickie is a bitch.  She comes out to remind us of that in her nails on a chalkboard voice.  She then chants “spear” and cackles.  She then introduces Ziggler.  Chimel gives in ring intros.  They lock up.  Edge lands some punches and puts a beating on Ziggler.  Edge hits a gut buster for 2.  Edge connects with a knee lift for 2.  Ziggler rolls to the apron.  Edge slips out, pulls him down face first onto the apron, then throws him into the barricade.  Ziggler catches Edge with a shot on the way back into the ring and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler puts a beating on Edge and applies a rear chin lock.  Afterward, Ziggler hits a diving sunset flip.  Edge rolls through and catapults him into the corner for 2.  Ziggler always takes that like a champ.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2, then reapplies the rear chin lock.  Edge takes a bump off the apron into the barricade.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Back to the chin lock.  Edge fights out.  Double cross body spot.  Edge avoids a charge in the corner and Ziggler eats turnbuckle again.  Edge hits a flapjack and gets the momentum going.  Weird faceplant thing gets 2.  Ziggler hits a chin breaker for 2.  Ziggler goes for the Fameasser, but Edge turns it into a powerbomb for 2.  Edge goes up top.  Ziggler cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  Ziggler rolls through for 2.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 2.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Edge holds into the ropes to avoid it.  Edge locks in the Edgeucator.  Haven’t seen that one in years.  Ziggler reaches the ropes.  Ziggler avoids a charge against the ropes, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Edge drops Ziggler with a big boot.  He teases going for the spear, then realizes he can’t.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Vickie grabs the referee to stop the count.  Vickie screams at Edge and slaps him.  Ziggler almost collides with Vickie.  Edge cradles him for 2.  Vickie slaps at Edge some more.  Shouldn’t that be a DQ, referee moron?  Kelly Kelly comes out, yanks Vickie off the apron, and kicks her ass.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for 2.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold.  Edge manages to stand up.  They collide with the referee.  Edge hits a backpack stunner.  With Vickie and the referee dead, Edge says “fuck it” and hits the spear, then does the old Eddie Guerrero “play dead” trick.  The referee wakes up.  Edge gives a nod to his old buddy Christian and hits the Killswitch for the pin in 20:46.  Pretty decent match.

WrestleMania commercial.

Boston!

Miz/Orton hype video.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley.

WWE Championship Match: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Randy Orton.  Orton beats down Miz in the corner, then chucks him out of the ring and kicks his ass at ringside.  Back inside, Orton beats the shit out of Miz some more.  Riley interferes behind the referee’s back to allow Miz to get the advantage.  Miz hits the corner clothesline for 2.  Miz finds his stride and gets the heat going on Orton.  Orton goes for a sleeper hold.  Miz counters and goes for a German suplex.  Orton counters and hits a backdrop suplex.  Miz lands a big boot for 2.  Miz goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton hits some clotheslines and the 3.0.  Miz rolls to the apron.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Miz back body drops him the floor.  Riley puts the boots to Orton behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, Miz covers for 2.  Miz hits a diving double axe handle for 2.  Miz stretches Orton’s neck with a chin lock.  On the outside, Miz catapults Orton into the post.  Orton barely beats the count back into the ring and immediately tackle punches Miz.  Orton gives Miz the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for 2.  Orton goes for a powerbomb.  Riley distracts him.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  They counter each others’ finish.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Miz bails, grabs the belt, and tries to leave.  Orton clotheslines him and throws him back into the ring.  Cover gets 2.  Orton ducks a basement kick and schoolboys Miz for 2.  Miz bails to the apron.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  The 4 lesser members of the New Nexus come out.  The referee goes to tell them to leave.  Riley tries to attack Orton, but Orton tosses him out of the ring and onto Nexus.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton counters and hits the RKO.  CM Punk appears and gives Orton the Go 2 Sleep, then puts Miz on top of Orton.  Miz gets the pin in 19:50.  Good match.  Cole mizzes his pants again.

Elimination Chamber commercial.

Todd Grisham reads a statement from “Dashing’ Cody Rhodes.  They show Rhodes getting his face broken by Rey Mysterio 2 weeks ago on Smackdown.

A bunch of fans give their Royal Rumble picks.  One guy actually picks Santino Marella.  I LOL’d.

We’re now set for a handicap match for the Divas Championship.  The iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that it will now be a Fatal Four-Way Match.  Eve Torres comes out to join Natalya and LayCool.

Fatal Four-Way Match for the WWE Divas Championship: Natalya (c) vs. Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Eve Torres.  They pair off and brawl.  LayCool work together.  They actually hit a double Stroke on Eve.  I’ll keep my dirty comments to myself.  Natalya fights back and catapults Layla into McCool.  Cover on Layla, but McCool pulls her to safety.  LayCool end up face to face in the ring with both of the babyfaces down outside.  Natalya trips Layla.  Eve schoolgirls McCool.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Natalya and Eve go at it.  Layla intervenes.  Natalya puts them in a double Sharpshooter.  McCool drops Natalya with a kick.  McCool covers Eve for 2.  Eve gets an inside cradle on McCool.  Layla saves.  Layla gives Eve the Lay Out.  Eve rolls to the floor.  Natalya makes her comeback on LayCool.  Natalya hits a Michinoku Driver II on McCool.  Layla saves.  Natalya beats her up in the corner.  McCool accidentally boots Layla in the face.  Natalya schoolgirls McCool for 2, then throws her outside.  Eve throws out Natalya, then hits a moonsault press on Layla.  McCool schoolgirls Natalya at the same time, but the referee doesn’t see and counts Eve’s pin over Layla in 5:12.  Eve regains the title.  Any match with a moonsault press finish gains points with me.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ Gail Kim).  The Bella Twins interrupt to apologize for last week.  They start arguing and a catfight breaks out.  Bryan gets slapped again.

WrestleMania commercial.

Boston!

Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Justin Roberts gives us our annual explanation of how the Royal Rumble works.  I miss Howard Finkel.

CM Punk comes out as #1.  The Corre come out and jump Punk.  The New Nexus come out to save their master.  The Nexus and The Corre brawl.  iBooker dings in at the same time I get a text message on my iPhone.  That always trips me out.  Cole calls for the officials to restore order and orders everyone but Punk to the back.  And NOW it’s Rumble time!

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is CM Punk.  #2 is WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  They lock up.  Punk grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Punk does a drop down.  Bryan catches him with a dropkick, then lands a clothesline.  They fail to eliminate each other.  Bryan hits a missile dropkick.  Punk avoids a charge in the corner.  #3 is Justin Gabriel.  He immediately goes after Punk.  Punk sends him to the apron.  Punk and Bryan clothesline each other.  Gabriel says “fuck it” and goes for the 450 splash.  Punk avoids it.  Bryan backdrops Gabriel out of the ring to eliminate him.  #4 Zack Ryder.  He runs wild and hits face washes on Bryan and Punk.  Bryan elevates Ryder, who hits Punk with the Rough Ryder.  Bryan hip tosses Ryder out of the ring.  Bryan lands some kicks on Punk.  They fight over eliminating each other again.  #5 is William Regal!  Regal mauls some fuckers.  It’s awesome.  Regal blasts Punk with the knee trembler.  Bryan and Regal trade European uppercuts.  Punk drops Regal with a head kick.  Bryan drops Punk with a head kick, then gives Regal another head kick just to make sure he’s good and dead.  #6 is Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  Dibiase runs wild briefly.  Bryan kicks Regal to death some more while Dibiase tries to eliminate Punk.  Bryan tries to eliminate Dibiase, but fails.  #7 John Morrison.  Morrison runs wild.  Flying Chuck to Punk.  C4 to Bryan.  Regal knocks Morrison off the apron.  Morrison grabs onto the barricade, walks along it, and leaps to the steps!  Dibiase eliminates Regal.  Morrison drops Regal with a kick for good measure.  His feet never touched the ground, so he’s still in the Rumble!  #8 is Yoshi Tatsu!  Yoshi brawls with Dibiase and Punk while Morrison beats up Bryan in the corner.  Morrison lands on his feet from a German suplex attempt by Bryan.  #9 Husky Harris.  He attacks everyone and guards Punk.  Punk gives Bryan a backdrop suplex.  #10 is Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Chavo gets his moment to run wild.  He hits Two Amigos on everybody, but only manages to complete the 3 on Bryan.  Chavo hits Harris with a missile dropkick.  #11 is Mark Henry!  Somebody gone get they ass kicked!  Henry eliminates Chavo.  Yoshi tries to chop Henry to no avail.  Henry clotheslines Yoshi out of the ring.  Boo!  Punk and Harris beat down Henry.  #12 is JTG.  He gets his moment to shine.  Harris tries to eliminate Bryan.  #13 is Michael McGillicutty, so there are three New Nexus guys in now.  McGillicutty eliminates JTG.  Everybody brawls.  Harris and McGillicutty back body drop Dibiase to the floor.  #14 is Chris Masters.  He goes after Nexus, which isn’t that bright, because there are three of them.  He hits a spinebuster on McGillicutty, then gets Punk in the Master Lock and tries to eliminate him.  McGillicutty saves Punk and stomps on Masters in the corner.  #15 is David Otunga.  Four Nexus guys in.  Punk (I think) eliminates Bryan.  Boo!  Nexus eliminates Masters and Morrison.  I think I missed Dibiase getting eliminated somewhere.  Nexus team up to dump Henry.  It’s all Nexus now.  #16 is Tyler Reks.  He charges right in like an idiot.  Nexus beats him down.  Punk drops him with a head kick and eliminates him.  #17 is WWE Tag Team Champion Vladimir Kozlov.  Nexus beat him down.  Punk tosses him.  #18 is R-Truth.  Another Nexus beatdown.  Another elimination by Punk.  Why don’t these guys just wait for a few more entrants to come in so they have a fighting chance?  #19 is Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh)!  Khali beats up everybody.  Khali eliminates Harris.  Punk begs off.  Khali beats him up.  #20 is Mason Ryan.  We’re back to having four Nexus guys.  Ryan and Khali brawl.  Ryan eliminates Khali!  #21 is BOOKER T!  Big pop for Booker.  Ryan immediately jumps him.  Booker rallies and runs wild.  Ryan gets a Harlem side kick.  Otunga gets a scissors kick.  McGillicutty gets a Book End.  The epic return of the SPINAROONIE!  Punk attacks Booker.  Booker tries to eliminate him.  Ryan saves Punk and tosses Booker.  Aww.  #22 is John Cena!  Cena runs wild on Nexus.  Cena low bridges Ryan out of the ring, then clotheslines Otunga and McGillicutty to the floor.  Punk’s all alone now!  They go at it.  Cena counters the Go 2 Sleep.  They do a double clothesline spot.  #23 is… Hornswoggle.  Fucking Hornswoggle.  Punk knocks him down and goes back after Cena.  Cena eliminates Punk with the Attitude Adjustment out of the ring.  All of that build just for Super Cena to eliminate all of Nexus?  Cena and Hornswoggle are working together now.  #24 is Tyson Kidd.  Cena and Hornswoggle double team him.  Of course I’m serious.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment.  He helps Horswoggle hit one as well.  Tyson is probably seriously rethinking his career choice right now.  Cena dumps Kidd.  #25 is Heath Slater.  Cena gives him shoulder blocks.  Hornswoggle gives Slater a stunner.  Cena and Hornswoggle do a double Five Knuckle Shuffle.  So a Ten Knuckle Shuffle?  Hornswoggle hits the tadpole splash.  Cena tosses Slater.  #26 is WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  Cena and Kofi look up at the big WrestleMania sign, then lock up.  Kofi leapfrogs Cena and connects with an elbow.  Kofi hits corner punches.  Cena hits a clothesline.  #27 is Jack Swagger.  Swagger runs wild.  He’s not playing nice.  Swagger hits Vader Bombs on Cena and Kingston.  Swagger stalks Hornswoggle after he starts some shit.  Kofi hits Swagger with a diving cross body.  Kingston uses Hornswoggle as a springboard to hit the Boom Drop.  #28 is Sheamus!  Sheamus beats up everyone.  Hornswoggle wants to fight.  Sheamus casually shoves him down.  Hornswoggle hits Sweet Shin Music.  Sheamus tries to toss him, but is saved by Cena.  Hornswoggle goes for the tadpole splash, but Sheamus recovers and eliminates him with the brogue kick.  Thank God.  #29 is Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio runs wild and hits lots of flippy twirly moves.  He goes for the 619 on Swagger, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Kofi hits Sheamus with the Trouble In Paradise.  Mysterio sends Swagger to the apron, then eliminates him with the 619.  #30 is Wade Barrett.  Barrett beats up everyone.  #31 is Dolph Ziggler.  So he gets a title shot and a Rumble spot?  He looks sore from earlier, but he sucks it up and beats up everyone.  There are a few near eliminations.  #32 is DIESEL!  Motherfucking Diesel!  The crowd LOVES him.  Diesel runs wild in his slow, plodding way.  A fucking “DIESEL!” chant in 2011!  #33 is Drew McIntyre.  McIntyre and Sheamus beat down Diesel, who the crowd still LOVES.  Mysterio finally gets revenge for that lawn dart thing and hits Diesel with a 619.  Barrett and Diesel brawl.  Sheamus and McIntyre are working together.  #34 is Alex Riley (w/ WWE Champion The Miz).  Cole marks out.  Diesel misses a big boot, crotches himself, and gets eliminated by Barrett.  The crowd DOES NOT like that.  Cole does like it when Miz joins the commentary team.  #35 is The Big Show.  He and Diesel stare at each other in the aisle.  Show hits the ring and runs wild.  Show chokeslams Barrett, then tosses Ziggler.  #36 is Ezekiel Jackson.  Show eliminates Ziggler.  Zeke runs wild and eliminates Big Show!  Zeke kicks ass.  He and Barrett work together.  #37 is WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella.  Marella tries to beat up Zeke.  Zeke yells at him.  Sheamus drops Santino the the brogue kick.  Santino rolls under the bottom rope to the floor.  Zeke and Barrett try to eliminate Cena.  #38 is Alberto Del Rio, introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.  He’s in no hurry to get in the ring.  #39 is Randy Orton.  He attacks Del Rio in the aisle and throws him into the steps, then into the ring.  RKOs to Del Rio, Sheamus, and Kofi.  Orton tosses Kofi, then clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.  Orton and Sheamus face off.  #40 is Kane.  He runs wild until he’s cut off by Big Zeke.  Kane low bridges Zeke out of the ring.  Mysterio eliminates Kane.  Barrett eliminates Mysterio.  Final four are Cena, Barrett, Del Rio, and Orton.  They pair off and brawl.  Cena and Orton beat up the heels, then face off again.  They brawl.  They counters each others’ finishes.  Barrett attacks Cena again.  Barrett beats up Orton while Del Rio beats up Cena.  Cena gives Del Rio the Attitude Adjustment.  Alex Riley comes back.  Cena decks him.  Miz sneaks in and eliminates Cena!  Cena is pissed.  Barrett and Del Rio beat down Orton.  Orton makes his comeback.  Powerslam on Barrett.  3.0 on Del Rio.  Orton humps the mat.  Orton eliminates Barrett.  Del Rio dumps Orton to win the Rumble in 1:08:42.  BUT WAIT!  SANTINO IS UP!  And he was never eliminated!  Santino hits the Cobra!  Santino dances around like a goof.  Del Rio throws him out to win the Rumble for real in 1:09:54.  Ricardo goes crazy.  Funniest Rumble finish ever!  Del Rio points at the WrestleMania sign as some pyro goes off behind it.  Ricardo keeps yelling “ALBERTO DEL RIO!”  Awesome.

Good show.  The Rumble is always good times.