Archive for Wendi Richter

AWA SuperClash III

Posted in AWA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

Larry Nelson introduces the show.  Lee Marshall joins him.  This a very old video, and not the best quality.  I hope I can get through it.  Marshall and Ray Stevens are the announcers.  Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer.  He introduces various people.  The audio and video are kind of out of sync.  I hope that doesn’t drive me too insane.

Cactus Jack & AWA Southern Tag Team Champions The Rock & Roll RPMs vs. Chavo, Mando, & Hector Guerrero.  Hector does some break dancing, then avoids being doubled teamed by the RPMs.  He takes them over with a headlock/head scissors combo.  Cactus and Mando tag in.  Mando gets a sunset flip, but puts him into the ropes.  Cactus throws some punches and sends Mando out of the ring.  Cactus follows him out and gets backdropped on the concrete.  The Guerreros works Cactus’ leg.  Cactus tags in one of the RPMs.  Chavo takes him over with a head scissors.  The Guerreros do flippy stuff to the RPMs as a clusterfuck ensues.  When I finally figure out which RPM is which, Cactus comes back in and beats up Chavo.  The RPMs and Cactus take turns beating up Chavo.  Hector tags in and dropkicks everybody.  Another clusterfuck ensues.  Mike Davis accidentally clotheslines Tommy Lane.  The Guerreros dispose of the heels.  Chavo pins Lane with a moonsault body block in 6:33.  Fun little opener.

Larry Nelson interviews the POWW Champion Nina (the future Ivory).

WCCW World Light Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Eric Embry.  They lock up.  They break and lock up again.  Repeat.  They trade hammerlocks in a fast and furious fashion.  Repeat.  They counter hip toss attempts, then shove each other.  Jarrett works Embry’s arm.  Embry escapes and drops Jarrett with a lariat.  Embry dodges a cross body, causing Jarrett to take a bump on his shoulder.  Jarrett rolls to the floor and sells it.  Jarrett makes it back in.  Embry attacks the injured shoulder.  Jarrett rallies and hits a missile dropkick, but hurts his shoulder.  Jarrett gets a sunset flip for 2, then a backslide for 2, then an inside cradle for 2, then another sunset flip.  Embry counters it and pins Jarrett with a prawn hold in 4:14.  Fine little match.  Embry regains the title for the fourth time, according to Cappetta.  Lee Marshall interviews Embry.  Embry says he’ll give Jarrett a rematch anytime, then goes to the back to check on his condition.  What a nice guy.

Larry Nelson interviews The Terrorist.

Jimmy Valiant vs. Wayne Bloom.  Bloom jumps Valiant and kicks his ass.  Valiant kicks Bloom’s ass back.  Valiant gets the pin with an elbow drop in 25 seconds.  Whatever.

Larry Nelson interviews some guy and Bambi.  The guy is POWW promoter David McClane.  POWW is a women’s promotion and they’re doing some stupid Lingerie Street Fight Battle Royal.

Verne Gagne has at some point replaced Ray Stevens on commentary.

WCCW Texas Heavyweight Championship Match: Iceman King Parsons (c) vs. Brickhouse Brown.  They shove each other.  Brown grabs a side headlock, then drops Parsons with a shoulder block and a dropkick.  Parsons bails.  Back inside, they lock up.  Brown works a headlock for a couple of hours.  He drops Parsons twice more with shoulder blocks, then hits a fucked up spinning backslide for 2.  Parsons bails again.  Brown works the headlock for another day or so.  Parsons escapes and hits a butt butt.  Parsons hits a weak clothesline for 2.  Parsons hits a suplex for 2.  Brown hits a cross body for 2.  Parsons knocks Brown down with some punches for 2.  He argues with the ref.  Trust me, Iceman, I wish this match was over, too.  Parsons tries a piledriver, but fails and gets backdropped.  Brown makes his comeback.  Parsons begs off.  Brown puts the boots to him in the corner, then beats him up some more.  Brown hits a half assed cross body and covers.  He thinks he got the pin, but Parsons’ foot was on the ropes.  Parsons punches Brown with and gets the pin in 5:42.  This sucked.  Marshall interviews Parsons.  Ugh.

Larry Nelson interviews Brandi Mae and Pocahontas.  This whole stupid match is about the Terrorist ripping up Brandi’s shorts.  Pocohantas promises to war dance tonight.  That David guy strikes me as a sleaze ball.

There’s some kind of convoluted six-person tag.  Cappetta says the titles are on the the line, so whatever.  Diamond Dallas Page interrupts the ring announcing.  Whatever, let’s just get this over with.

AWA World Tag Team Championship & AWA World Women’s Championship Match: Badd Company (c) & Madusa Miceli (w/ Diamond Dallas Page) vs. The Top Guns & Wendi Richter (c).  Everybody brawls.  The faces whip the heels into each other.  The Top Guns double team Pat Tanaka.  Dukes works over Tanaka.  Diamond tags in and beats up Dukes.  Diamond misses Dukes in the corner.  Richter tags in and tries to pull Madusa in the ring.  Madusa pulls across the top rope, then comes in the ring and beats her up.  Richter fights back and throws her around.  Richter missed a dropkick.  Richter hits a powerbomb, but Diamond saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Tanaka savate kicks Richter, then accidentally kicks Madusa.  Richter pins Madusa in 5:44.  The Top Guns spank Madusa.  The Top Guns are announced as the World Tag Team Champions, but history says otherwise.  I don’t know what the fuck happened there, and I don’t care.  The heels bitch at Lee Marshall.  Madusa slaps Tanaka and Page.  Badd Company and Page yell abuse at Madusa after she leaves and call her a bimbo.

Lee Marshall interviews WCCW World Heavyweight Champion Kerry Von Erich, with his young daughter Holly.  He says he’ll prove tonight that he’s the one and only World Heavyweight Champion.

AWA International Television Championship Match: Ron Garvin vs. Greg Gagne.  Stevens is back on commentary now.  Make up your minds!  The title is held up.  They lock up.  Garvin beats up Gagne.  Yay!  Gagne beats up Garvin.  Boo!  Garvin beats up Gagne some more.  Gagne back body drops Garvin for 2.  Gagne works Garvin’s arm.  Garvin fights back and beats up Gagne.  Garvin gets an inside cradle for 2.  I swear it sounds like Marshall keeps calling him “Garmin.”  They end up stuck on the ropes for a minute, then Garvin beats up Gagne on the outside.  Gagne makes it back inside and wins by count-out in 5:52.  Garvin puts Gagne in a sleeper.  Gagne escapes and puts Garvin in a sleeper.  THE FUCKING MATCH IS OVER, STOP TORTURING ME!  Gagne wins the vacant title.  This sucked.  A lot.  Marshall interviews Gagne.  I don’t care.

Still to come, the stupid 80’s eye candy match.

Larry Nelson interviews Verne Gagne.  Diamond Dallas Page interrupts.  He leaves, and Verne keeps talking.  Fuck.  And there are a lot of matches still to come.  Double fuck.

They a clip of a Jerry Lawler/Kerry Von Erich match from Memphis.

Nelson interviews the AWA World Heavyweight Champion, Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Cappetta introduces that annoying sleazy David McLane to do the ring announcing for the stupid women’s match.

Beverly Hills Lingerie Street Fight Battle Royal featuring Laurie Lynn, Luna Vachon, Peggy Lee Leather, Pali the Syrian Terrorist, Malibu, Bambi, Pocahontas, Brandi Mae, and POWW Champion Nina.  They fight.  It sucks.  They’re all in street clothes.  People get eliminated.  It comes down to Pali and Brandi Mae.  They fight horribly.  Brandi rips a Pali’s weird leotard thing.  Pali chokes Brandi with her stockings or something.  Fuck, I want this to end.  Pali eliminates Brandi and wins after a horribly long 8:33.  It was terrible.  Pali talks, then Marshall interviews her so she can talk some more.

Larry Nelson interviews Peggy Lee Leather.  Luna interrupts and cuts a weird promo.  This segment sucks too.

Lee Marshall puts over random people.  He talks to PWI Editor Bill Apter.  Apter is going to present an award to Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Larry Nelson interviews Sergeant Slaughter.

Boot Camp Match: Colonel DeBeers (w/ Diamond Dallas Page) vs. Sergeant Slaughter.  Sarge beats the shit out of DeBeers to start.  I didn’t hear an opening bell.  Maybe they don’t need one, since this is anything goes.  I don’t know.  DeBeers gets the shit beat out of him, then chokes Sarge with something.  Sarge stops being choked and beats up DeBeers some more.  They fight outside.  Page steals Sarge’s combat helmet.  DeBeers hits Slaughter with one of the things that they string a rope in that I guess does service for a guardrail here.  Page gives DeBeers Sarge’s helmet.  Page holds Sarge for DeBeers to hit.  Sarge ducks and Page gets knocked off of the apron.  Sarge makes a comeback and takes his helmet back.  Sarge headbutts DeBeers with the helmet a bunch of times.  Sarge hits a clothesline (the Slaughter Cannon), then locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Sarge wins by submission in about 6 minutes.  Sheik Adnan El Kaissey runs and The Iron Sheik run in and they all beat up Sarge.  The Guerreros make the save!  Sarge takes a swing at Chavo.  That dick.  Sarge goes after the Iron Sheik.  Shit eventually calms down and Marshall interviews Slaughter.  This match sucked.  Sarge recites the pledge of allegiance.

Larry Nelson is with Bill Apter and Jerry Lawler.  Apter presents Lawler with the Most Inspirational Wrestler of the Year Award.

WCCW World Tag Team Championship Match: The Samoan Swat Team (c) (w/ Buddy Roberts) vs. Michael Hayes & Steve Cox.  Samu and Hayes lock up.  They hammer each other in the corner.  Hayes whips Samu into Cox’s boot.  Cox tags in and twists Samu’s arm.  Fatu runs in and nails Cox, but Cox doesn’t let go.  Hayes runs over and knocks Fatu off of the apron.  Cox avoids a cross body and hits an arm drag on Samu, then cranks on the arm again.  Samu accidentally clocks Fatu and knocks him off the apron again.  The exact same thing happens again a minute later.  The SST finally manage to get heat on Cox.  Fatu puts him in a nerve hold.  Cox hits the ropes and knocks Samu off the apron, then he and Fatu clothesline each other.  Hayes gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Cox takes out Samu with a dive to the outside.  Hayes hits a DDT on Fatu.  Roberts comes in behind the referee’s back and hits Hayes in the back of the head with something, allowing Fatu to get the pin in 7:53.  Decent enough match.

Larry Nelson interviews the Iron Sheik and Sheik Adnan El Kaissey.

Prior to the strap match, Cappetta introduces a special guest, the IWGP Heavyweight Champion, Tatsumi Fujinami!  Fernandez bad mouths Fujinami.  Fujinami holds Fernandez to let Wahoo nail him!

Indian Strap Match: Manny Fernandez vs. Wahoo McDaniel.  Wahoo whips Manny’s hand with the strap.  Ouch.  Wahoo shows his expertise with the strap, using it to snapmare Fernandez, then choke him, then whip him.  Fernandez gets the advantage and beats up Wahoo.  Wahoo is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Manny touches one corner before Wahoo cuts him off.  They trade chops.  Manny gets BUSTED WIDE OPEN as well.  Wahoo beats him up.  Wahoo touches 3 corners before Manny manages to cut him off.  Fernandez hits a diving knee drop.  Manny goes up top, stupidly, and Wahoo pulls him off by the strap, predictably.  Wahoo touches 3 corners.  Manny kicks him into the 4th corner to give Wahoo the win in 7:49.  Manny keeps beating on Wahoo, but Fujinami makes the save!  Lee Marshall interviews Wahoo.

Larry Nelson interviews Verne Gagne and AWA President Stanley Blackburn.

Al Lerner (who?) is the guest ring announcer for the main event.  Lawler and Von Erich both cut promos before the match.

Title Unification Match: AWA World Heavyweight Champion Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. WCCW World Heavyweight Champion “The Modern Day Warrior” Kerry Von Erich.  Lawler plays chickenshit to start.  Lawler rams Von Erich’s arm into the top turnbuckle to “bust it open” (Kerry had cut his arm open before the match because he was coked up or something).  They lock up.  Von Erich hits Lawler with a punch that sends him ass over teakettle.  Kerry hits Lawler with a vicious clothesline.  Repeat.  They lock up again.  Lawler avoids a clothesline… but gets clotheslined again anyway.  WCCW booker Frank Dusek is at ringside.  Kerry wants a test of strength.  Lawler stupidly obliges.  Kerry hits a discus lariat for a pair of 2 counts.  They roll around on the mat.  Lawler hits Von Erich with some great punches and knocks him out of the ring.  Kerry goes for a slingshot splash, but Lawler catches him with his knees.  Lawler hits a piledriver.  Kerry no sells it.  Lawler struts around and turns around into a tornado punch.  Kerry covers for 2.  Kerry goes for the Claw, but Lawler fights it.  Lawler avoids a knee drop.  Lawler gets a cover, but Kerry throws him on top of the referee.  Kerry hits a piledriver, but by the time the referee wakes up, Lawler manages to kick out at 2.  Kerry beats up Lawler some more.  Kerry goes for a tornado punch outside, but Lawler ducks and Kerry punches the post.  Lawler pulls an object out of his tights and hits Von Erich with it, then hits a diving fist drop.  Lawler hits another fist drop, then another diving one with his object.  Kerry catches him with the Claw to the stomach.  Kerry is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Kerry shifts the Claw to Lawler’s forehead.  Lawler gets a rope break.  Kerry puts the Claw back on.  They get up.  Lawler avoids Kerry in the corner and Kerry hits the turnbuckles.  Kerry punches Lawler some.  Lawler hits Kerry with his object again.  Frank Dusek yells.  It’s No DQ, so quit your bitching!  Lawler punches Kerry’s blood forehead.  Lawler goes into his Muhammad Ali routine and hits Kerry with a bunch of jabs.  Lawler punches Kerry with his object again.  Kerry falls out of the ring, where Dusek checks on him.  Kerry comes back in.  The referee checks the cut.  Lawler punches him again.  They trade punches.  Kerry beats up Lawler.  The punch each other down.  Kerry covers for 2, then applies the Claw again.  Lawler gets his shoulder up repeatedly.  The referee stops it due to Kerry’s blood loss at 18:53.  Lawler is awarded the match, despite being down and out.  Dusek bitches at the referee.  Kerry leaves with the belts.  Lawler did what he could to hold the match together, but it wasn’t very good.  Lawler is announced as the winner, despite the fact that Kerry stole the belts, presumably to buy more coke.  Marshall interviews Lawler after the match.

Larry Nelson interviews the bloody mess that is Kerry Von Erich.  They show clips of the match.  Stanley Blackburn defends the referee’s decision.

The Stud Stable (w/ Sylvia) vs. The Rock & Roll Express.  Ricky Morton and Jimmy Golden start.  Morton hits an arm drag.  Robert Fuller comes in and gets arm dragged, too.  Robert Gibson comes in and everybody brawls.  Studs bail.  Morton holds Golden in a front face lock for a bit.  Everybody ends up in the ring fighting again.  Studs bail again.  Gibson and Fuller run the ropes.  Golden knees Gibson in the back from the apron.  Fuller sends Gibson out of the ring.  Sylvia whacks Gibson with her big stick.  Studs beat up Gibson.  Gibson gets thrown out and beaten with the stick again.  Golden puts Gibson in an abdominal stretch, using the ropers for leverage.  Gibson gets free.  Morton tags in and half assed runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues again.  R&R hit a double dropkick on one of them.  They all brawl, leading to a double DQ in 7:03.  Whatever.  Marshall interviews the Rock & Roll Express.

Larry Nelson interviews the Stud Stable.

Lee Marshall interviews Verne Gagne at ringside.

And finally this horrible fucking show ends.  Aside from a couple of good short matches at the beginning, this show sucked in pretty much every way.

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WWE WrestleMania XXVI

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

Justin Roberts welcomes us to WrestleMania, then Fantasia sings “American The Beautiful.”  After that, we get the usually awesome WrestleMania opening video.

Slim Jim and WWE present WrestleMania!  AWESOME pyro and ballyhoo.  The University of Phoenix Stadium is a big fucking building.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announce team.  Justin Roberts is ring announcer for the first match.  Also, the Spanish announce table is back!  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich!

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  Former partners Miz and Morrison start.  Morrison lands a big dropkick for 2.  Morrison slams Miz and makes the tag to R-Truth.  Morrison hits a flippy leg drop and Truth hits a diving leg drop for 2.  Truth does his big side kick, then Big Show tags in.  R-Truth tries, but Show hits a big fall away slam.  Show shoves Morrison off the apron and goes for the Vader Bomb on R-Truth.  Morrison springs back up and hits a kick from the apron.  Truth covers for 2.  Morrison and Miz tag and do their thing.  Morrison hits a flap jack.  Miz gets a Brisco Roll out of the corner, but Morrison rolls through and knees Miz in the face.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but misses when Show pulls Miz out of the ring.  Truth dives at Show, but gets caught and posted.  Miz comes back in and covers Morrison for 2.  Miz goes for his finish, but Morrison neatly turns it into a cradle for 2.  Show makes the tag.  Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck while Show is still on the apron, but Show catches him with the KO punch for the pin in 3:24.  Good little match while it lasted.

Clips of Axxess and other happenings of WrestleMania week.

Triple Threat Match: Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton.  They square off, with Rhodes and Dibiase on the same page.  Orton takes the fight to both of them.  Dibiase cuts him off with a dropkick and they double team him.  Orton fights back, but gets cut off again.  Rhodes lands a knee drop and goes up top for a moonsault.  Dibiase covers Orton behind Rhodes’ back.  Rhodes breaks the cover and throws Dibiase out of the ring, then hits the Alabama Slam on Orton for 2, as Dibiase makes it back it to save.  Dibiase decks Rhodes and they fight.  Orton makes a comeback on both of them.  Orton hits the 3.0 on Rhodes and goes into his mat humping routine.  Dibiase pulls him out of the ring.  Rhodes does a dive, but Orton avoids it and only Dibiase gets hit.  Orton catches them both coming back in and hits a DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER!  Orton humps the mat again, preparing to hit the RKO on Rhodes.  He rethinks it and hits the PUNT OF DOOM instead.  Dibiase comes back in and goes for the Dream Street, but Orton counters and hits the RKO for the pin in 9:01.  It had its moments, but it was mostly pretty meh.  There’s this awesome round video screen that lowers to the ring and shows the guy’s logo at various points in the show.

Please, Don’t Try This!

Josh Matthews interviews Vickie Guerrero, with Michelle McCool, Maryse, Layla, and Alicia Fox.  Vickie talks to massive heat.  Jillian Hall steps in and sings horribly.  The other women leave her and Santino Marella steps in.  He bites into a Slim Jim and Jillian turns into Mae Young, who kisses him.  He bites it again and Mae turns into Mean Gene Okerlund.  He bites it again and Gene turns into Melina.  Santino seems satisfied with this.  That was stupid.

Savannah gets on the show as the ring announcer for Money In The Bank.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian.  Everybody brawls.  Somebody throws in a ladder and McIntyre immediately sets it up and climbs.  Hardy knocks it over.  McIntyre takes Bourne’s knees, Hardy’s Twist of Fate, and MVP’s Yakuza kick in short order.  Everybody tries to climb the ladder and everybody cuts everybody else off.  Kane chokeslams Bourne out of the ring onto MVP and Benjamin.  Hardy and Swagger fight on top of the ladder, but Kingston uses another ladder to knock that ladder over.  Christian whips Hardy into Swagger in the corner, throws a ladder against them, and monkey flips Kofi into the ladder.  Christian tries to climb the other ladder, but Ziggler cuts him off with a fucked up Zig Zag off of the ladder.  Ziggler climbs, but MVP cuts him off.  MVP clips, but Kane cuts him off, rams him into the ladder, and goes for a chokeslam, but Kofi hits Kane with a ladder.  Kofi, Shelton, and MVP ram a ladder into Kane.  Kofi runs up it and punches Kane, then takes a bump into the ladder.  MVP Yakuza kicks Kane.  Benjamin hits the Paydirt on MVP.  McIntyre gets hit by somebody/something.  Shelton climbs a ladder, but Swagger hits him with the other ladder, then hits Kane and MVP with the ladder.  Bourne comes off the top with the double knees on Swagger.  Bourne puts the boots to Swagger, then Christian and Hardy ram two ladders into Swagger, who is stuck between the original ladder.  There’s now a crazy ladder platform thing.  Hardy takes a bump off the ladder.  Christian goes for the Killswitch on Bourne off of the horizontal ladder.  Bourne counters him and hits a Shooting Star press!  Bourne goes for the prize, but Hardy cuts him off and hip tosses him off the ladder.  BIG BUMP.  Swagger cuts Hardy off and sends him for another BIG BUMP into the remaining horizontal ladder.  Man, trying to describe these matches is difficult.  MVP and Shelton fight on top of a ladder.  MVP takes a bump, then tries to powerbomb Shelton, but Shelton turns it into a rana that takes them both of the ring.  Kane clotheslines them with a ladder.  Kane climbs the ladder in the ring, but Ziggler climbs over him.  Kane pushes the ladder over, sending Ziggler into the ropes.  Kane throws the ladder at Ziggler, who ducks.  Shelton brings another ladder in.  Kane chokeslams Ziggler onto the ladder.  Fucking OUCH.  Kane sandwiches Ziggler in the ladder and kills him with it, breaking the ladder.  Kofi hits the Trouble In Paradise on Kane.  Instead of getting a functional ladder, Kofi uses the two ladder halves as stilts.  Funny, but stupid.  McIntyre cuts him off and sends him into the top rope and out of the ring.  McIntyre brings in a working ladder and climbs for the prize.  Hardy comes in to cut him off, but McIntyre rams his face into the ladder.  Hardy pushes the ladder over and McIntyre crotches himself on the top rope.  Hardy sets the ladder back up as Kane tries to set up another ladder.  Hardy kicks him away.  Christian climbs Kane’s ladder and rides it over to fight Hardy.  Kane climbs up the other side of the 2 ladders and goozles them both, but they fight him off.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Christian hits the reverse DDT off the top of the ladder.  Christian climbs again, but Swagger cuts him off.  Christian climbs the other ladder, but Swagger climbs up the other side and swings the briefcase into Christian’s face to knock him off.  Swagger takes forever to unhook the briefcase, but eventually does, and wins it in 13:44.  Surprise winner of the night.  The match was the typically fun crazy spotfest.

Extreme Rules, LIVE on PPV April 25!

The announcers talk about the Hall of Fame.  They show clips from last night’s ceremony.

Howard Finkel(!) is out to introduce the Hall of Fame Class of 2010: Stu Hart (represented by the Hart family), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon (escorted by one of the Bella Twins), Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker, Gorgeous George (represented by former wife, Betty, who was escorted by the other Bella), and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase!  Feel good moment.

Plug for the horrible WrestleMania theme.

Triple H/Sheamus video package.

Outside shot of the big ass stadium.  Man, I’d had trying to get out of that parking lot after the show.

Sheamus vs. Triple H.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Triple H into the corner, shoves him, and yells at him.  They lock up again .  Triple H backs Sheamus into the corner and slaps him.  Triple H goes for an early Pedigree, but Sheamus scampers to the relative safety of the corner.  Triple H hits a suplex and a knee drop (prefixed by a crotch chop) for 2.  Sheamus bails.  Triple H follows and sends him into the barricade, then back into the ring.  Triple H clips Sheamus’ leg and locks in a figure-four leglock.  Sheamus gets a rope break.  Sheamus bails again.  Triple H follows and gets thrown into the steps.  Back inside, Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker.  Twice.  Sheamus keeps the heat on Triple H, then poses to get one of the first crowd reactions of the night.  They brawl and the dead crowd livens up a bit.  Sheamus hits a Polish hammer for 2.  Sheamus hits a running powerslam for 2.  Sheamus works Triple H’s shoulder.  Triple H rallies and spikes Sheamus with a DDT.  They trade punches, complete with “BOO, YAY!” from the crowd.  Triple H hits the high knee and the facebuster for 2.  Sheamus counters a Pedigree attempt, but Triple H hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge off the middle rope.  They counter each other’s moves until Sheamus lands the pump kick, but Triple H kicks out.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge again, fails, and Triple H hits the spinebuster for 2.  Sheamus hits the pump kick from the apron.  Sheamus picks up a limp Triple H to go for the Razor’s Edge again, but Triple H springs to life and hits the Pedigree for the pin in 12:09.  Good match.  Triple H celebrates.

Edge’s Slim Jim commercial.

Mysterio/Punk video package.

Tony Chimel makes his first appearance… er, first… speaking role!  …of the night.

CM Punk cuts his usual promo as the Straight Edge Society make their way to the ring.  Mysterio’s music plays, but he takes a while coming out because the elevator thing that was supposed to shoot up for his entrance didn’t work and he had to climb out of the hole in the stage.  He finally makes his way out in a weird looking blue Avatar outfit.

CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio has to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses.  Gallows and Serena distract Mysterio to let Punk jump him for the early advantage.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold into the bottom turnbuckle, then tries a moonsault, but ends up getting stomped in the tree of woe.  Serena chokes him behind the referee’s back.  Mysterio avoids a baseball slide dropkick and Punk crotches himself on the post.  Outside, Punk wheelbarrows Mysterio into the steps.  Back inside, Punk clamps on a rear chin lock.  Mysterio escapes and fires some kicks and forearms.  Mysterio hits a springboard Bombs Away and tries a springboard cross body, but Punk catches him with a powerslam for 2.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip, but Punk avoids the kick and schoolboys Mysterio for 2.  Punk NAILS Mysterio with a kick to the head for 2.  Punk tries to hold Mysterio on the mat for a series of 2 counts.  Mysterio hits the crazy rope walk DDT that he used to do to Eddie Guerrero for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Punk catches him.  Mysterio counters the Go 2 Sleep twice and goes up top.  He does the Eddie shimmy and goes for the frog splash, but Punk moves.  Punk covers for 2.  Punk hits the knee to the corner, but Mysterio avoids the bulldog.  Mysterio counters a powerbomb and goes for the 619, but Serena covers Punk to save him.  Gallows gets on the apron to distract Mysterio.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep again, but Mysterio ranas him into the ropes and hits the 619 and the diving splash for the pin in 6:30.  Really good match for the time they had.  Another 5-10 minutes they might have stolen the show.

Bret Hart/Vince McMahon video package.

Bret comes out first to a great reaction. Vince comes out and says that Bret deserves a WrestleMania sized screwing.  He shelled out a bunch of money to buy himself some lumberjacks and a guest referee… Bret’s family!  The Hart Dynasty and Bret’s brothers and sisters come out with Vince.  Bruce Hart takes off his jacket to reveal a referee shirt.  Bret says he knows the Harts all got paid up front.  Bret says there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross.  He tells Vince that the Harts are all together, and tonight will be the night Bret screwed Vince.  Vince realizes that he is, in fact, screwed.

No Holds Barred Lumberjack Match: Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon.  Bret beats up Vince.  Vince goes outside to get beaten up by some of the ringside Harts.  David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, and one of Bret’s brothers beat up Vince.  The Hart Dynasty hold Vince so Natalya can slap him.  The Hart Dynasty hits Vince with a Hart Attack on the outside, then they throw Vince back into the ring, where Bret kills him some more.  Bret attacks Vince’s leg.  Vince grabs a crowbar from under the ring and scares all of the ringside Harts into stepping back.  He tries to attack Bret with it, but Bret kills him some more, gets the crowbar, and kills him with that.  This goes on for a long time.  Bret teases the Sharpshooter, but kicks Vince in the balls a few times instead.  Bret gets tired and sits down in a chair for a bit as Vince tries to make it to his feet.  Bret hits Vince with the chair 18 times.  I counted.  Bret finally locks Vince in the Sharpshooter for the submission victory in 11:09.  This went WAY too long.  They could have accomplished the same thing in 5 minutes.  At least they had the right ending.  The Hart family celebrates.

WrestleMania XXVII will be April 3, 2011 in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta!

Justin Roberts announces the attendance at 72,219.

Edge/Jericho video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge.  They lock up and do some basic wrestling.  That’s a good way to start any match.  Edge gets the advantage and pounds Jericho in the corner.  Jericho responds in kind.  Edge hits a flapjack and goes for an early spear, but Jericho bails.  They fight on the outside for a minute.  Jericho makes it back inside first and lands a baseball slide dropkick that knocks Edge off of the apron.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then applies a neck/shoulder lock.  Edge fights out and avoids Jericho in the corner, causing Jericho to spear the post.  Edge hits a big kick.  Jericho slingshots Edge into the top rope, then goes for his springboard dropkick to the apron.  Edge avoids it, sends Jericho to the floor, and hits a shoulder block off of the apron.  Back inside, Edge hits a front suplex off the top rope for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Edge avoids it.  Jericho avoids Edge in the corner, but Edge hits a diving cross body.  Jericho rolls through for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho again, but fails again.  Edge hits a diving sunset flip for 2.  Jericho reverses it into a pinning predicament for 2, then kicks Edge in the face.  Edge avoids the Codebreaker and goes for the spear, but Jericho avoids it and schoolboys Edge into the Walls of Jericho.  Edge escapes.  Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Edge avoids it and hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Jericho rocks Edge with an enzuigiri.  Edge rallies and hits the Edgecution for 2.  Jericho boots Edge in the face and comes off of the second rope with a forearm to the back of the head.  Jericho sets up for a spear.  Edge boots him in the face and goes for the spear himself, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker!  Jericho takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho stomps Edge’s previously injured leg, then locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Edge struggles to reach the ropes, but Jericho pulls him back to the middle and turns it into a half crab on the bad leg.  Edge manages to reach the ropes and surprises Jericho with a front cradle for 2.  Edge clotheslines Jericho and takes them both of the ring.  Jericho grabs the championship belt.  Edge cuts him off and throws him back to the apron.  Edge accidentally bumps the ref.  Jericho hits Edge with the belt for 2.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the pin 15:47.  REALLY good match, but the finish felt a bit anticlimactic.  Jericho tries to injure Edge’s leg after the match, but Edge goes crazy and kicks his ass.  Edge clears off the announce tables and runs across them, spearing Jericho into the barricade.

They show highlights of the pre-show 26-man Battle Royal, won by Yoshi Tatsu!  He knocked Zack Ryder off of the apron with a head kick to win it.

WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Vickie Guerrero, Alicia Fox, & Layla vs. Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, & Eve Torres.  Vickie pushes into Gail with her bulk.  Beth tags in and beats up Vickie.  Eve, Gail, Mickie, and Kelly each take a turn doing the same.  Vickie screams at Kelly and hits her fucked up Fameasser.  McCool saves Vickie and hits the Styles Clash on Kelly.  Everybody takes turns hitting there moves, half of them botched.  Beth goes for Vickie, but McCool saves her again.  With everybody else out, McCool and Layla help Vickie up top to hit the most horrible looking frog splash ever on Kelly Kelly.  Vickie fucks up her cover and takes 2 tries to pin her, but finally does to end this abortion in 3:24.  Fucking awful.  Vickie does the Eddie shimmy.  I have to believe Eddie Guerrero is turning over in his grave.

Batista/Cena video package.  On first viewing, I HATED this match, but for the most part I’ve liked these matches more on second viewing.  Except for that divas clusterfuck.  Fuck that.

Batista has a lone spotlight for his entrance, while Cena has a bunch of soldier types doing rifle tricks for his.

WWE Championship Match: Batista (c) vs. John Cena.  They fuck around a bit, then Cena works a headlock takedown.  Cena beats up Batista, then gets walloped with a clothesline to the back of the head.  Batista beats up Cena in the corner.  Cena blocks a suplex and hits one of his own.  Batista lands awkwardly on his ass and legs.  Cena hits a bulldog-like facebuster for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista spikes him with a botched looking DDT.  Batista locks in a scissored sleeper.  Cena fights out.  They do the “BOO, YAY!” punch exchange, with Cena getting booed.  Batista hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Cena starts his comeback and goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Batista catches him with the spinebuster.  He goes for the Batista Bomb, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Batista gets a rope break, then spears Cena for 2.  Batista goes for a superplex, but they end up doing a test of strength on the middle ropes.  Cena fights Batista off and hits a diving Five Knuckle Shuffle, then goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Batista counters and hits the Batista Bomb for 2.  They counter each other’s finishers until Cena manages to hit the Attitude Adjusment for 2.  Cena comes off the top, but Batista catches him mid-air with what I guess was a horribly botched Batista Bomb.  Batista goes for the Batista Bomb again, but Cena locks him in the STF for the win in 13:30 to regain the WWE Championship.  Batista hilariously keeps tapping after Cena releases the hold.  I didn’t hate it as much as I did the first time, but I still don’t think it was very good.  Slow, plodding, and they botched a lot of stuff.

Extreme Rules!  NEXT MONTH!

Undertaker/Shawn Michaels video package.

Streak vs. Career Match: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels.  They start with a staredown.  Michaels does Undertaker’s throat slash gesture.  The bell rings and they go at it.  Michaels hits Undertaker with a bunch of chops.  Taker whips Michaels into the corner, then hits Snake Eyes and the big boot.  Taker clotheslines Shawn in the corner, then goes for Old School.  Michaels fights it, but Taker manages to hit it.  He immediately regrets it, because he injures his knee upon landing.  Michaels avoids the chokeslam and kicks at Taker’s leg.  Undertaker rallies and goes for the Tombstone, but Michaels counters and goes for the crossface.  Taker avoids it and twists Shawn’s arm a bit.  Shawn throws a superkick, but Taker avoids it.  Shawn kicks the shit out of Undertaker’s knee some more.  Taker fires back with his big punches and clotheslines Shawn out of the ring.  Taker thinks about a dive, but Michaels rushes back in and clips the bad leg.  Michaels goes for a figure-four, but Taker kicks him out of the ring.  Taker follows and rams Shawn into the post.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP!  “VINTAGE!”  Back inside, Michaels locks Undertaker in the figure-four leglock.  Taker suffers for a bit, but manages to reverse it, so Michaels releases the hold.  I’ve never understood how that works.  They trade blows.  Michaels realizes how dumb an idea that is and goes back to chopping Taker.  Well, Taker was still punching him, so it’s a moot point.  Michaels hits the flying forearm and nips up, only to get chokeslammed.  Taker covers for 2.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters and locks him in an ankle lock.  Taker fights out.  Michaels clotheslines him, which sends them both out of the ring.  Michaels goes for a springboard cross body, but Undertaker catches him and Tombstones him on the floor!  Trainers come out to check on Michaels, but Taker picks him up, puts him back in the ring, covers, and Shawn kicks out!  Taker goes for the Last Ride, but Michaels turns it into a facebuster for 2.  Michaels goes for the diving elbow drop, but Taker catches him with his knees.  It hurts Michaels, but also worsens Taker’s injured knee.  Taker locks int he Hell’s Gate, but Michaels turns it into a jackknife hold for 2.  Sweet counter.  Michaels NAILS the superkick, covers, and TAKER KICKS OUT!  Michaels tunes up the band.  This time, Taker catches him and DRIVES him to the mat with the last ride.  Cover, but MICHAELS KICKS OUT this time.  Taker throws Michaels out of the ring.  Taker clears off the announce table and goes for the Last Ride again.  Michaels escapes and superkicks Taker onto the table.  Michaels goes to the top rope and hits a MOONSAULT to Taker’s knees THROUGH the announce table!  Michaels takes Undertaker back into the ring as Lawler speculates that Taker’s leg is broken.  Michaels NAILS another superkick, covers, and TAKER KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Michaels goes for another one, but Taker hits a BIG chokeslam.  Taker sells his leg, then picks Michaels up and hits a second Tombstone Piledriver.  1, 2, MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers his straps and begins the throat slash.  He’s got a nasty cut on his arm.  He stops mid-slash and looks down at Michaels, appearing to have some sort of sympathy for this man who has fought him so valiantly.  Michaels struggles to get up.  Taker yells at him to stay down.  Michaels gets to his knees and does the throat slash, then SLAPS Taker.  Taker gets pissed and FUCKING SPIKES Michaels with a JUMPING Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 24:00.  Fucking amazing match.  It wasn’t quite the match they had last year, but still fucking amazing.  They do a HUGE pyro display on the stage and outside of the stadium as the big screen reads “18-0.”  Undertaker helps Michaels to his feet and they shake hands and hug.  Taker leaves to let Michaels have his farewell moment.  Michaels walks up the ramp, slapping hands with fans.  He yells “I’ll drive my kids nuts in 3 weeks!”  He gets the top of the ramp and does his entrance pose, then goes to the back as we fade to black.

There were some things on this show I thought were terrible, and many more that I thought were good, but deserved more time.  The main event was just… fucking… great.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/22/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Elimination Chamber highlights, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts.  Shawn Michaels will be here tonight.  Will The Undertaker?  Tonight’s guest hosts are Jewel and Ty Murray.

Justin Roberts introduces the new World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho, who benefited greatly from Shawn Michaels’ Undertaker obsession last night.   Jericho brags that he’s going to WrestleMania.  Edge’s music plays and he appears from behind to spear Jericho.  Edge informs Jericho that Jericho is indeed going to WrestleMania… against him!

John Cena comes out.  He says to add him to the list of people Vince McMahon screwed, because he win the WWE Championship last night, only for Vince to book immediate title defense against Batista.  Cena says he wants his rematch right now.  Vince McMahon comes out and talks about his business deal with Batista.  Cena wants his title shot.  Vince says Batista isn’t defending until WrestleMania.  He says that Sheamus also has a rematch coming.  Vince says that Cena will face Batista tonight, and if he wins, he gets the title shot at Mania, but if he loses, Sheamus gets the title shot.  So Sheamus has no say in the matter?  Shouldn’t it be Sheamus vs. Cena for the title shot tonight?  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the week.

WWE Divas Championship Tournament – Final: Maryse vs. Gail Kim.  FINALLY.  Gail gets a quick cradle for 1.  Gail avoids Maryse in the corner and drops her with a clothesline for 2.  Gail fires some kicks and a European uppercut, then a shoulder block into the corner.  Maryse sends Gail into the top turnbuckle.  Gail goes for her move, but Maryse holds onto the ropes to avoid it.  Maryse hits a kick for 2.  Maryse goes for her DDT, but Gail turns it into a jackknife hold for 2.  Maryse avoids a diving cross body and appears to injure her neck.  They both make it to their feet.  Maryse goes for the DDT again, but Gail inside cradles her for 2.  Gail tries a victory roll, but Maryse hot shots her into the top rope, then hits her DDT for the pin in 2:49.  Very awkward match, but they tried.  At least they finally did the damn match.

Cena vs. Batista tonight!  Will The Undertaker show up to confront Shawn Michaels?  Commercials!

WWE Magazine plug.

There’s a mechanical bull in the arena that the divas are going to ride.

Ty Murray talks to the Bella Twins.  Jewel talks to Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly.  Jewel has an injured her ankle riding a mechanical bull.  Jillian Hall and Alicia Fox interrupt.  Hall tells Jewel she’s a famous singer, then sings horribly.  Jewel sings it decently.  Hall insults her.  Jewel slaps the shit out of her.  Yay!

Cody Rhodes tells Randy Orton that he knew Ted Dibiase Jr. was going to screw Orton last night.  Orton tells him it’s okay, it’s his fault for what happened last night because he taught them too well, but has been a poor leader.  Legacy is in a six-man tag tonight.  Orton says to tell Dibiase he’s sorry.  Orton leaves and Dibiase comes in.  Dibiase asks Orton if they’re sticking to the plan.  Rhodes says “Absolutely.”  Commercials:

Slam of the Week: Ted Dibiase pinning Randy Orton in the Elimination Chamber last night.

Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Legacy.  Dibiase and Yoshi start.  Yoshi hits some kicks and arm drags.  Tag to Bourne.  They double Dibiase for 2.  Rhodes tags in and Bourne kicks the crap out of his legs.  Bourne gets a cradle for 2.  Bourne hits a clothesline and goes up top, but Rhodes gets up to stop him.  Rhodes hits an Alabama Slam for 2.  Commercials.  Dibiase turns Bourne inside out with a lariat for 2.  Tag to Kingston, who runs wild on Dibiase.  “Controlled frenzy!”  Orton drops Kofi to prevent the Boom Drop.  Tag to Orton, who punishes Kingston.  Orton hits the 3.0, that “Vintage backbreaker!”  Rhodes tags himself in.  Orton plants him with the DDT OF MURDER to a big pop.  Dibiase screams at Orton.  Orton drops him with the RKO at ringside.  Kingston tags in Yoshi, who has his bit against Rhodes, then tags in Bourne.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press on Rhodes for the pin in 9:51.  Legacy has finally exploded!

Cena vs. Batista TONIGHT!  Undertaker?!?!?!?!?!?!???  We’ll answer that very short question with far too many punctuation marks NEXT!

They show the recent history between Michaels and The Undertaker, going from Michaels’ challenge for a rematch at the Slammy Awards and ending with Michaels screwing Undertaker out of the World Championship last night.

Shawn Michaels comes to the ring and says he did what he had to do.  He expects a reaction.  Undertaker comes out wearing the bad ass WrestleMania XIV robe thing since his trench coat got caught on fire last night.  Undertaker says Michaels has his attention.  Michaels says he wrestled nearly a perfect match last year.  Michaels wants the rematch.  Taker accepts, on the condition that Michaels puts his career on the line.  Michaels agrees, because “If I can’t beat you at WrestleMania, I have no career!”

Batista vs. Cena TONIGHT!

Christian is headed our way!  It appears he and Yoshi Tatsu have both signed with Raw.  Commercials!

WWE Rewind: The Money In The Bank Ladder Match from WrestleMania 25.

The briefcase is hanging above the ring.  The announcers talk about Michaels vs. Undertaker.

As Christian comes out for his match, they show a promo from Christian’s NXT rookie, Heath Slater.  During Carlito’s entrance, they show a promo from his rookie, Michael Tarver.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Christian vs. Carlito.  Carlito practically runs to the ring.  Carlito hits a DDT on the ring apron (ouch) for 2.  Carlito actually looks like he gives a fuck tonight.  Christian flapjacks Carlito.  Christian does his weird shit with the opponent on the ropes and slips in the process.  Christian hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Carlito avoids a cross body and hits a move.  Christian with the reverse DDT backbreaker thing for 2.  Christian goes up top, but Carlito pulls him down and hits a neckbreaker drop for 2.  Christian goes for the Killswitch.  Carlito counters and goes for a springboard elbow.  Christian catches him and goes for it again.  Carlito counters again, but Christian sends him into the turnbuckles, then finally hits the Killswitch for the pin in 3:01.  This was kind of a clusterfuck.

Divas Bull Riding is NEXT!

Justin Roberts introduces the guest hosts, Jewel and Ty Murray.  They talk, then we have the stupid divas bull riding.  Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, and the Bella Twins ride the bull.  Waste of time.  Thankfully, the Unified Tag Team Champions, Big Show and The Miz, come out.  Jewel yodels.  Murray challenges Big Show to ride the mechanical bull.  Show asks the divas to hold his tag belts.  They refuse, so he calls them rude.  Well, they are.  Show fails at riding the bull, and it’s hilarious.  Miz says it wasn’t fair.  Murray makes fun of him.  The mechanical bull taunts Show.  Show yells at it.  Big Show KO punches the bull.  Jewel calls it “stuffed animal cruelty.”  Hilarious stuff.  Jewel and Murray tell Show Miz they’ll defend the titles against MVP and Mark Henry NEXT!

Batista vs. Cena TONIGHT!

WWE.com plug.  There’s also a miscued graph promising a Bret Hart update NEXT!

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter & Mark Henry.  Daniel Bryan is shown watching backstage.  Henry’s shoulder is taped up from the bump he took through the barricade last night.  MVP gets the better of Miz to start.  Tag to Show.  Show spear!  Show rips MVP’s outfit, chops him, and hits the Hog Log.  Tag to Miz.  MVP gets beat up, then forces Miz to eat a Yakuza kick sandwich.  Tags to Show and Henry.  Henry hits headbutts and squashes Show in the corner, which hurts Henry’s shoulder.  Miz dives at Henry, but Henry catches him and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Show KO punches Henry for the pin in 2:46.  Well this wasn’t much of a match.

The Bret Hart update is, in fact, NEXT!

Elimination Chamber highlight package, followed by commercials.

Cole and Lawler plug Murray’s bull riding competition and Jewel’s new single, which I actually like.

The next Hall of Fame inductee is Wendi Richter!  She’ll be inducted by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper!

The show the Bret Hart injury angle from last week.  Vince McMahon says he had nothing to do with the accident.  He invites Bret to Raw next week to say a proper farewell.

John Cena is headed to the ring!

NXT commercial.

Farewell to Bret Hart, next week!  Next week’s guest hosts are CHEECH AND CHONG!  Randy Orton vs. Ted Dibiase NEXT WEEK!

Non-Title: John Cena vs. WWE Champion Batista.  Batista stalls and hits in the ropes.  Batista kicks him in the balls for the DQ in 24 seconds.  So Batista WANTS to face Cena at WrestleMania.  Batista beats the shit out of Cena, leaves, sees Cena getting up, so comes back and beats him up some more.  Various nasty things ensue and Batista finishes with a spinebuster into the post.  Batista starts to leave again, then comes back and wears Cena out with a steel chair.

A very bad show wrestling-wise, but it did a great job of setting up the top matches at WrestleMania, so no complaints.

WWF WrestleMania (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

This review was originally written on 12/20/09.

That’s right, the first WrestleMania.  This is the beginning of my endeavor to watch every WWF and WCW PPV ever, possibly with ECW and TNA thrown in.  Oh, and I should mention that most of the WrestleManias I’ll be watching are from the WrestleMania anthology that WWE put out a few years ago.

Which of course means we get the WWE open.  Plain Jane opening video showing the matches on the card tonight, since this is 1985, a year and a half before yours truly was born.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary.  We are LIVE from Madison Square Garden!  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.  Mean Gene Okerlund sings the national anthem.

Lord Alfred Hayes talks about the first match.  Cut to Mean Gene’s pre-taped interviews with Tito Santana and The Executioner.

The Executioner vs. Tito Santana.  Lock up, run the ropes, then Tito hits a backdrop and a dropkick that sends The Executioner out of the ring.  They lock up again and Tito grabs a headlock.  He walks up the ropes and uses the leverage to take Executioner down.  Neat.  Executioner attacks Tito’s injured leg, as he promised he would earlier.  Tito turns an attempted leg hold into a nifty cradle for 2.  Executioner looks completely out classed.  He finally manages to backdrop Tito, then hits a bodyslam, then goes up to.  Tito recovers and throws him off, then goes for a big splash, but Executioner gets his knees up.  Executioner goes for the leg again, but Tito sends him out of the ring, then suplex/slams him back in.  Tito hits a flying forearm, then applies the figure-four leglock for the win at 4:49.  See, Tito is chasing Greg Valentine’s Intercontinental Title, so he’s putting the champ on notice by using his own hold.

Lord Alfred throws it to pre-taped interviews for the next match, with S.D. Jones and King Kong Bundy, with Jimmy Hart.

King Kong Bundy (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. S.D. Jones.  Bundy with a bear hug, then rams Jones into the corner.  Avalanche in the corner followed by a big splash for the pin in 24 seconds.  The time is announced as 9 seconds.  Their stop watch is defective.

Mean Gene is back with pre-taped interviews with Matt Borne and Ricky Steamboat.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat.  Lock up.  Steamboat leap frogs Borne, then hits some of his karate chops.  Steamboat grabs a headlock.  Borne gets out of it.  Steamboat grabs it again.  Borne fights out and Steamboat gives him an atomic drop.  Borne hits an inverted atomic drop and gets the advantage briefly.  Steamboat hits him with more karate chops.  Steamboat with the headlock again.  Borne backs him into the corner and lands some knees to the gut, then a belly to belly suplex.  Borne lands a vertical suplex for 2.  They trade blows.  Steamboat gets the better of it and drops Borne.  Steamboat hits a backdrop suplex and a swinging neckbreaker, then a pair of knee drops for 2.  Borne comes back and gets dropped with a shoulder block.  Steamboat comes off the top with a diving crossbody for the pin at 4:38.  Good basic wrestling match.

Lord Alfred throws it to Mean Gene again, for interviews with David Sammartino (with his dad) and Brutus Beefcake (with Johnny Valiant).

Brutus Beefcake (w/ Johnny Valiant) vs. David Sammartino (w/ Bruno Sammartino).  Beefcake stalls forever.  They finally lock up.  Beefcake overpowers David, who is extremely short and stocky.  David shoves Brutus on the next lock up, then hits a drop toe hold.  Brutus with an amateur takedown.  They roll around, then Brutus bails for a moment.  More basic stuff back inside.  Brutus claws the eyes and hits a slam, but David turns it into an arm hold.  Nice.  Brutus takes David over with a side headlock.  The match quickens a bit.  Sammartino works Beefcake’s leg.  Sammartino with a spinning toe hold.  Beefcake kicks him away, but Sammartino grabs another leg hold.  Brutus takes over and gets some heat on Sammartino.  David hits a back body drop.  They trade punches.  Sammartino with a suplex for 2.  Valiant attacks David on the outside.  Bruno gets involved.  Clusterfuck ensues.  It’s a double DQ at 11:44.  The Sammartinos get rid of the heels.  Why the fuck does David Sammartino warrant more time than Tito Santana and Ricky Steamboat COMBINED?

Once again, Lord Alfred —> Mean Gene.  Gene interviews the Intercontinental Champion, Greg Valentine, and his challenger, Junkyard Dog.

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Junkyard Dog.  Lots of stalling early on.  Valentine drops JYD with an elbow, then misses a knee drop.  JYD headbutts him out of the ring.  The Hammer hammers JYD and attacks his leg, softening him up for the figure-four.  When he goes for it, JYD kicks him away.  JYD with some headbutts that knock the champ loopy and causes him to take Flair face flop.  Jimmy Hart distracts the referee.  JYD grabs him.  Hammer tries to nail JYD, but clocks Hart instead.  JYD beats up Valentine, but Valentine trips him up and gets the Flair pin at 6:00.  Tito Santana comes out to tell the referee that Valentine’s feet were on the ropes.  The referee continues the match.  Valentine refuses to come back in the ring, so JYD wins by count-out at 6:55, but Valentine keeps the title.

Lord Alfred, then Mean Gene for the Tag title match, as the U.S. Express of Barry Windham & Mike Rotunda defend against The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff.

Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem before the match.  Sheik chimes in with “Russia numbah one, Iran numbah one, USA hack puh!”

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The U.S. Express (c) (w/ Captain Lou Albano) vs. The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ “Classy” Freddie Blassie).  Rotunda starts with Sheik.  Sheik gets the better of it at first, until Rotunda hits a hip toss and a dropkick, then a slam, then Windham decks him, then Rotunda takes him over with a side headlock.  Tag to Windham, who comes off the top with an elbow to Sheik’s back.  Sheik accidentally dropkicks Volkoff on the apron.  He apologizes, and tags out.  Rotunda back in.  He takes down Volkoff with a forearm for 2.  The champs make quick tags and work Volkoff’s arm.  Volkoff rams Rotunda into Sheik’s boot, then tags Sheik back in.  Sheik with a back body drop, then an elbow for 2.  Sheik with a side suplex for 2.  Rotunda hits a suplex on Sheik.  Sheik tags out to Volkoff, who prevents Rotunda from tagging out.  Rotunda with a sunset flip for 2.  Volkoff knees Rotunda in the gut, then rams him into Sheik’s boot again.  Sheik tags in and applies an abdominal stretch as Albano and Blassie argue outside.  Rotunda hip tosses his way out of it.  Tag to Volkoff.  Rotunda makes the hot tag to Windham.  Windham hits a bulldog on Volkoff and covers, but Sheik saves.  Rotunda comes in and sends Sheik out of the ring.  Sheik whacks Windham with Blassie’s cane, allowing Volkoff to get the pin at 6:55.  There you have it, the first title change in WrestleMania history.

Mean Gene interviews the new champions.

Lord Alfred, then Mean Gene to interview Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan.  Studd puts up $15,000 against Andre the Giant’s career in a slam match.

$15,000 Slam Match: Big John Studd (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. Andre the Giant.  Studd jumps Andre to start the match.  Andre responds by chopping him with his massive hands.  Studd bails.  When he comes back in, Andre chokes him, then punches him in the gut and knees him in the face.  Andre continues to hammer Studd.  Studd hits a knee and tries to slam him.  Nope.  Andre with a bear hug.  Studd gets out of it.  Andre with a headlock, then a punch to the face.  Andre continues to beat up Studd.  Studd tries a kick, but Andre catches his leg and punches him in the face again.  Andre throws some kicks at Studd, then slams him for the win at 5:54.  Andre starts throwing the money to the crowd.  Heenan sneaks in, steals the bag of money, and runs away.

Mean Gene interviews a victorious Andre.

Lord Alfred, then Mean Gene for the Women’s Title match.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: Leilani Kai (c) (w/ The Fabulous Moolah) vs. Wendi Richter (w/ Cyndi Lauper).  Lock up, cat fight, ridiculous bump by Kai off of a half assed chop from Richter.  Nice bit of chain wrestling as Richter works Kai’s arm.  Kai snapmares out of it and covers for a quick 2.  Kai works Richter’s arm a bit.  Kai chokes Richter.  Richter uses her legs to squeeze Kai’s middle.  Kai picks her up by the hair.  They trade blows.  Richter half asses an inside cradle for 2.  Richter starts making a comeback until Moolah grabs her and pulls her hair.  Lauper stops her.  Kai with a kick to the sternum.  Richter fights back and hits a reverse F-U type move for 2.  Kai with a backbreaker for 2.  Kai slams Richter and comes off the top with a crossbody.  Richter rolls through and gets the pin to regain the title at 6:13.  Moolah face plants trying to get into the ring.  Heh.  Richter and Lauper celebrate.

Mean Gene interviews the new champion.  Richter can’t talk for shit and Lauper’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

Finkel introduces the guest ring announcer for the main event, Billy Martin.  Martin introduces the other celebrities involved with the main event.  Liberace, the guest timekeeper, dances with four of the Rockettes.  Muhammed Ali is the special outside referee, while Pat Patterson will be the referee in the ring.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper & “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff (w/ “Cowboy” Bob Orton) vs. WWF Champion Hulk Hogan & Mr. T (w/ Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka).  Hogan and Orndorff start, but Piper requests the tag before any contact is made.  Mr. T wants Piper, so Hogan makes the tag.  They slap each other, then Piper wrestles him to the ground.  Mr. T escapes.  T picks up Piper into a Fireman’s carry, then drops him.  The heels beat up T.  Match turns into a clusterfuck for a minute until Muhammed Ali restores order.  The heels start to leave.  Hogan won’t let Patterson count them out.  They come back in and get their knoggins knocked by Hogan and Mr. T.  Hogan does a number on them and hits an atomic drop on Piper, then beats his head against the mat.  Tag to T and a double clothesline to Piper.  T slams Piper, then hip tosses Orndorff.  Another slam to Piper, headbutt to Orndorff, and a tag to Hogan.  Hogan big boots Piper ourt of the ring.  Orndorff clotheslines Hogan out of the ring.  Piper hits Hogan with a chair.  The heels work over Hogan.  Mr. T tries to save, but is restrained by Patterson.  Piper and Orndorff with a double atomic drop to Hogan.  Ali to restores order again.  Hogan, oddly, plays face in peril.  Hogan blocks a diving knee drop from Orndorff and makes the hot tag to Mr. T.  The bad guys beat up Mr. T.  Orndorff and T wrestle sloppily to the ground.  Tag to Piper, who locks Mr. T in a front facelock.  T powers out and tags Hogan, who cleans house.  Orndorff hits a backdrop suplex on Hogan.  Orton tries to run in and gets headbutted by Snuka.  Orton comes off the top rope and accidentally nails Orndorff with the cast.  Hogan gets the pin on Orndorff  to win it in 13:33.  Orndorff wakes up to find himself alone with the faces.  T tries to offer him a handshake, but Hogan is like “No.”  The babyfaces celebrate their win.

Mean Gene interviews the victors.

Gorilla and Jesse have some final comments, then the closing credits.

So that was the inaugural WrestleMania.  The WWF was certainly a very different place in 1985.  This show as the biggest thing to ever happen in wrestling at the time, but looking at it through 2009 eyes, it’s hard to see why.  A few of the matches were decent, with Steamboat/Borne being match of the night.