Archive for Vince McMahon

WWF at Madison Square Garden 4/6/81

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2015 by Grappleholic

Vince McMahon is commentary. Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Pedro Morales (c) vs. Moondog Rex (w/ Captain Lou Albano). Moondog King failed to unseat Morales last month, so now Rex is taking a shot. Albano is escorted to the back for being crazy or something. Rex holds a headlock for about an hour, then goes to work on the champ’s arm. Vince says that Morales is having more trouble with Rex than he did with King. King beats on Morales for about a week. Morales finally makes a comeback, then gets an inside cradle for the pin in 9:29. 1/2* because it wasn’t completely worthless.

Sergeant Slaughter (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Pat Patterson. Patterson is a fiery babyface. He wants some of Slaughter, but Slaughter appears to want none of it. Slaughter sneaks around and tries to jump Patterson from behind, but gets his ass kicked. Patterson fights dirty with chokes, closed fights, and even a bite to Sarge’s hand. Patterson catapults Sarge into the turnbuckles and scores a 2 count. Somebody is blowing a whistle. Is Bill Alfonso around? Patterson applies a crab hold. Back to their feet. Patterson hits a shoulder block and goes for another. Sarge avoids it and sends him crashing to the outside. Slaughter threatens to dive off the top rope to the floor, but thinks better of it and settles for a kick off the apron. Slaughter is trying to win by count out. He covers his ears to drown out the crowd’s boos. Patterson makes it back in and Sarge goes to work on him. Slaughter goes for a diving knee drop, but Patterson avoids it. Patterson locks in a figure-four leglock. Slaughter suffers, but makes the ropes. They brawl outside. Patterson hits Sarge with a chair, which is apparently fine if you’re on the outside. Back inside, Patterson shoves the ref twice. Sarge rakes his eyes. They brawl. Slaughter shoves the ref. Slaughter and Patterson both throw the ref out of the ring. Sarge applies the Cobra Clutch. The ref comes back in and Slaughter immediately kicks him in the groin. Apparently there are rules, as the referee finally calls for the bell. It’s a double DQ in 13:30. Even in 1981, this company hated finishes. Patterson is angry at the ref. Vince assures us that Pat will apologize to the ref once he cools off. **1/2

Steel Cage Match for the WWF Heavyweight Championship: Bob Backlund (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. Stan Hansen. Finkel announces that the winner will be the one who successfully runs away. Hansen jumps Backlund immediately, but Backlund throws him into the cage and generally kicks his ass. Back and forth brawl. Backlund hits a piledriver and tries to escape. Hansen hits him the ding ding. Lots of ramming of heads into the cage. Hansen bleeds. Backlund avoids an elbow drop. More brawling. Backlund escapes to win in 8:52. Fun brawl. Hansen is none the worse for wear because a cage match where the objective is to run away is fucking stupid. **1/2

“Pretty Boy” Larry Sharpe & “The Unpredictable” Johnny Rodz vs. Tony Garea & Rick Martel. Martel and Roz start. Both sides tag in and out. The heels, Sharpe & Rodz, cut Martel off and get the heat on him. Garea gets a lukewarm tag. Rodz sucks him and lets him crash into the corner. Now they’re working over Garea. Martel gets a much more lively hot tag and runs wild. Clusterfuck ensues. Martel and Garea send the heels into each other. Martel pins Sharpe with a jackknife hold in 7:05. **1/2

It was way more interesting than the show I watched previously.

Advertisements

WWWF at the Spectrum 3/25/78

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2015 by Grappleholic

After the WWE Network opening, it’s straight to the ring for the first match.

Vince McMahon and Dick somebody are commentating.

WWWF Heavyweight Championship Match: Bob Backlund (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. “The Golden Greek” Spiros Arion. It’s been a little over a month since Backlund won the title from Superstar Graham. Vince is positively gushing over his new champion. Arion declines to shake hands. Backlund wins the lock up, then they trade waist locks. Arion uses the ropes to escape danger. Backlund keeps going back to his vice-like waist lock. He gets a near fall off a backslide. Arion resorts to a choke hold to get the advantage, then slams the champion and hammers him with punches. Backlund gets an inside cradle for 2. Arion takes a powder. They do a test of strength. Arion throws a kick, but Backlund catches it and drops him. Arion gets the advantage briefly, until Backlund scores a sunset flip for a near fall. Backlund catches another kick and goes to work on the leg. The crowd responds very well to leg work. Stuff meant something back now, kids. Back on their feet, Arion exposes a turnbuckle and sends the champion’s head into it. For some reason, the referee is completely fine with this. Arion kicks Backlund in the balls and Backlund sells it appropriately. Backlund takes a spill outside and barely beats the count in. Arion finally has the initiative. Backlund escapes a backbreaker and horribly botches a backslide. The champ makes his comeback and hits a piledriver for 2. Backlund sort of bulldog-rams Arion’s head into the turnbuckle, then hits the atomic drop. The ref gets knocked out by Arion’s foot in the process, and is unable to make the count. Backlund goes to check on the ref, giving Arion an opening to jump him from behind. They brawl. Chief Jay Strongbow, Peter Maivia, Stan Stasiak, and another wrestler come out to break up the fight. Another referee comes in and calls for the bell. It’s a double DQ in 17:48. The time is announced at 16:28. This timekeeper was the shits. The match was kind of entertaining. **1/2

We’re back now after intermission.

Ken Patera vs. Bruno Sammartino. Patera jumps Sammartino before the bell. Sammartino rallies and Patera bails. Back inside, Patera misses a knee drop and Sammartino goes after the injured body part like a shark. Patera comes back and misses an elbow drop. Sammartino arm drags him, and Patera bails again. More desultory strong guy punch-kick. Sammartino works a head lock. I’m bored. Patera applies a bear hug. Bruno won’t give up, but I’m tempted to. Unfortunately, the keep fighting. This is my life. These are my choices. They brawl outside. They brawl inside. They brawl outside. Somebody throws a chair. The bell rings. They keep brawling. It’s a double count-out in 14:35 of my life I’ll never get back. They announce the time at 16 something. Could have been 14 minutes, 16 minutes, or 3 days. *

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Haystacks Calhoun. Calhoun is a very large man from Morgan’s Corner, Arkansas, so he’s a man after my own heart. The youngest Nikolai Volkoff I’ve ever seen gets the jump on the larger man. They fight a bit. Calhoun squashes Volkoff in the corner. Haystacks falls on Volkoff for the pin in 2:39. DUD. They actually get the time correct.

And that’s the end. Wow. This was a good use of my time.

If anyone actually reads this and thinks I should keep reviewing stuff, leave a comment or tweet me @TheRealChui.

WWWF at Madison Square Garden 6/27/77

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2014 by Grappleholic

WWE Old School intro.

Announcer Vince McMahon introduces the show.

Howard Finkel, sporting a powder blue suit and a full head of hair, is the ring announcer.

Jan Nelson vs. Jose Gonzalez.  I assume this is the same Jose Gonzalez who would murder Bruiser Brody in a dirty bathroom 11 years later.  He’s a big babyface here in New York.  An “Old School Flashback” in the bottom right corner informs me that Kanye West was born this month, June 1977.  That’s unfortunate for the world.  But I digress.  Gonzalez is the more experienced grappler, while Vince touts Nelson as a future star.  I don’t know that Nelson ever lived up to that.  Gonzalez makes the heel Nelson look foolish, and you can hear Nelson Muntz guffaw in the crowd more than a decade before The Simpsons debuted.  Lots of good ol’ fashioned arm work in this match. as Nelson works an arm lock for several minutes.  Gonzalez fights back with some arm wrangling of his own.  Nelson quickly cuts him off and then beats him  up.  Gonzalez avoids a charge in the corner and makes his comeback.  Gonzalez hits four dropkicks and scores the pin in 9:46.  *3/4

Rocky Tomayo vs. Larry Zbyszko.  Holy crap, Larry is young here.  I’ve never heard of Rocky Tomayo.  More basic, old fashined grappling.  They actually do a bit of chain wrestling, which always makes me giddy.  This is actually kind of fun.  Larry is a fiery young babyface here, very quick to take Tomayo down and grab a hold.  Of course, this is Larry Zbyszko, so there is some stalling.  Tomayo endures a lot of trauma to his hamstrings.  Larry catches Tomayo with an inside cradle for the pin in 7:30.  Man, this referee counts slow.  **1/4

Tony Garea vs. George “The Animal” Steele.  Fiery young babyface Garea is ready to fight, which befuddles the Animal.  Steele stalls a bit, then gets the advantage on Garea by wrestling heelishly.  Garea makes a fiery comeback.  The referee DQ’s Steele in 7:22 for hitting Garea with a foreign object.  Steele continues to lay the beating on.  Garea rallies and runs the big man off.  **

2/3 Falls: Ken Patera & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Captain Lou Albano) vs. Andre the Giant & Chief Jay Strongbow.  The babyfaces run Albano off during the introductions.  This seems to be a grudge match.  Patera stalls a long time before getting in the ring to start the match.  Vince calls Strongbow a “fired up redskin.”  The ’70s were a different time.  Strongbow gets Patera in his own hold, the full nelson.  Patera escapes.  Andre tags in and puts Patera in the full nelson.  Patera manages to make the ropes.  Volkoff tags in.  The heels try to cut off Andre in their corner, but Andre is a giant, so he’s like “fuck that.”  Strongbow comes in.  Volkoff puts a hurting on him briefly.  Andre tags in and bear hugs Volkoff.  Volkoff gets free, but Andre punches him the face.  Strongbow tags back in and gets caught on the wrong side of town.  Andre gets a hot tag at point, but the referee didn’t see it.  Heels continue getting the heat on Strongbow.  Andre finally gets the tag and runs… well, he doesn’t really run wild, but he wrecks shit like a destructive giant briefly.  Clusterfuck breaks out, largely involving Strongbow running into Andre, causing him to shoulder block both heels in the corner.  Andre goes for a big splash on Patera, but Patera avoids certain death and makes the tag.  Strongbow comes in with a big babyface flurry and locks Volkoff in a sleeper hold.  Patera saves, but gets his man DQ’d in 13:46.  My stream turns shitty, which is just lovely.  After I get it straightened out, Volkoff and Patera get into it at ringside.  Presumably, Volkoff is pissed that Patera cost them the fall.  Insta-commercials.  Strongbow and Volkoff start the second fall.  Andre hold Volkoff for Strongbow to hit him, which is illegal.  The heels are still not getting along.  Patera shoves Volkoff.  Volkoff takes a swing at him.  Volkoff goes to leave the ring, but Patera clubber his back from behind.  Patera leaves.  Andre gives Volkoff a big boot and a splash for the pin in a little over two minutes.  Finkel gives the total time as 16:25.  Fun match.  **3/4

Lenny Hurst vs. Stan “The Man” Stasiak.  This is Hurst’s MSG debut.  I wonder if he ever made it back.  Stasiak is a former WWWF Champion, and the father of a guy who would someday run into shit in backstage segments.  Stasiak is from Buzzard Creek, Oregon, which is a great name for a wrestling hometown.  Vince touts the 225 lb Hurst as the lightest wrestler in the WWWF.  I’ll bet he wishes that were still the case today.  Anyway, Stasiak is the ornery old heel, Hurst is the fiery young babyface, and they work the match accordingly.  Hurst delivers a dropkick that sends Stasiak to the apron.  Stasiak comes back in and puts a beating on the young man.  Hursts makes his comeback, then eats a boot to the face.  Stasiak lands the heart punch for the pin in 7:55.  **

Vince interviews WWWF Champion “Superstar” Billy Graham (w/ The Grand Wizard) in the ring prior to his match.  I’m almost certain I’ve seen this interview before.  “I am the man of the hour, the man with the power, the man too sweet to be sour.”

WWWF Heavyweight Championship Match: “Superstar” Billy Graham (c) (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Bruno Sammartino (w/ Arnold Skaaland).  Bruno has a mustache and a Jew fro here.  I think this is 2 months after Graham took the title from Bruno in Baltimore.  Graham taunts Bruno with the belt, and by god, Bruno wants that belt back.  The beauty of this is that Graham cheated Bruno out of his belt, so Bruno is PISSED OFF and wants it back.  He does not laugh it off and talk about how championships come and go.  Bruno attacks Graham to jumpstart the match and MSG comes UNGLUED.  Graham manages to subdue Bruno with a full nelson.  Vince notes that this hold is attacking Bruno’s neck, which was broken not all that long ago by Stan Hansen.  Bruno reverses it and almost puts the champ down with it.  Graham manages to avoid having his arm drop the third time and gets to his feet, but Bruno keeps the hold.  Graham finally manages to get free and takes a powder.  Graham comes back and manages to get the advantage, putting pressure on Bruno’s back and arms.  Bruno again reverses Graham’s hold and puts the pressure on him.  Graham manages to get some momentum going and puts the boots to Bruno.  They work a bear hug for a bit.  Bruno takes a spill to the outside, and Graham tries to keep him there.  Bruno gets back in and goes on the attack.  Graham begs off to no avail.  Graham rallies, but knocks down the referee in the process.  The guys brawl and the referee tries to break it up, only to get taken down repeatedly.  The ref finally calls for the bell in 18:15.  It’s a double DQ.  Fun strong guy match.  **3/4

Baron Von Raschke (w/ Freddie Blassie) vs. Ivan Putski.  Putski’s beer belly is a little bit less prominent here than on the last show I saw.  Raschke is announced as the “European Heavyweight Champion” 20 years before the WWF actually created a European Championship.  These two went to a 20 minute draw previously, so now we’ve got a 30 minute time limit.  Oh dear.  Blassie is taken to the back before the match starts, for some reason.  Raschke has a gimmick in his hand.  Putski informs the referee of such.  Raschke successfully conceals it on his person.  They finally lock up after a lot of stalling.  They also work the lockup for a long time.  This is going to be a long one.  Raschke with some desultory leg work.  Putski with a rear chin lock, then transitions into some kind of wonky head scissors hold.  Putski finally wakes up and shows some babyface fire.  They go back and forth a bit.  It goes to a 30 minute time limit draw in 19:13.  I don’t care if they lied about the time, I missed some editing, or what.  I don’t need to see these two wrestle for another minute ever.  Putski, that son of a bitch, calls for one more minute.  They brawl a bit.  Raschke takes a powder.  Long and boring.  *3/4

Baron Mikel Scicluna vs. “High Chief” Peter Maivia.  Maivia is making his MSG debut.  His now-five year old grandson would later go on to some success in pro wrestling and Hollywood.  Scicluna gets the jump on him.  Maivia quickly rallies and kicks some ass.  Scicluna tries to use an object, but fails.  Maivia avoids Scicluna in the corner and pins him with a prawn hold in 1:08.  It’s announced at 2:09, which is a lie.  DUD

2/3 Falls: Dominic Denucci & Haystacks Calhoun vs. Mr. Fuji & Professor Toru Tanaka.  Calhoun’s kayfabe hometown is Morgan’s Corner, Arkansas, which endears him to me.  I know of all of these guys, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them wrestle.  Denucci and Tanaka brawl.  Denucci applies a full nelson and allows Calhoun to hit a lackadaisical punch.  Tanaka beats on Denucci a bit.  Denucci fires back with Mongolian chops.  Fuji tags in and hits a “Kamikazi Necktie” (think Sling Blade) for the pin in 3:06.  Denucci makes a comeback as the second fall starts.  Tanaka and Fuji double team Denucci in the corner.  Calhoun comes in to help out, but only distracts the referee.  We’ve got a curfew draw in 1:00 of the second fall!  Calhoun comes in to beat the heels up for a bit, having never actually tagged in to the match.  Fuji & Tanaka win the match, having won the only fall in a 2/3 falls match.  3/4*

And there’s another 1970s WWWF show from the Network.  There’s one more show from the 70s, then we’ll move into the 80s.

WWWF at Madison Square Garden 3/17/75

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 8, 2014 by Grappleholic

“WWE Old School” opening.  This is from the WWE Network.

Straight to the ring introductions for our first match.  A young Vince McMahon is the play-by-play man.  I have know idea who the ring announcer is, but he does the old school “repeat the guy’s last name” thing that Ken Anderson would turn into a gimmick 30 years later.

Paul “Butcher” Vachon vs. “Indian” Jay Strongbow.  Yes, “Indian” Jay Strongbow.  The ’70s were a different time.  Neither of these guys are what you’d call “in shape” by modern standards, but Strongbow is actively flabby.  The match is slow, plodding, and exactly what you’d expect from 1970s WWWF.   Vachon spends an impressive amount of time working a hold on the neck muscles.  Strongbow comes back and slams him around.  Vachon heels on Strongbow some more.  Vachon bites Strongbow, which is about as heelish as you can get.    Vachon gets a near fall, but pulls Strongbow up at 2.  He is immediately shown to have been a fool, as he shoots Strongbow into the ropes, but Strongbow catches him with a Thesz press for the pin in 6:26.  **

Texas Style Match for the WWWF Heavyweight Championship: Bruno Sammartino (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. Spiros Arion (w/ Freddie Blassie).  Main event time!  You see, back now, the WWWF always puts the champion on before intermission at MSG, so they can announce the main event for the next card prior to the last match.  This is announced as a “Texas Style Match,” which I assume means it’s a Texas Death Match.  Despite that stipulation, the referee still checks the wrestlers for weapons.  Arion takes advantage of the situation by jumping Bruno before the bell, but Bruno immediately rallies and kicks his ass.  Arion cuts him off and gets the heat briefly.  The style here is pretty realistic, as they largely just kick the shit out of each other.  The momentum swings back and forth.  Maybe I’m imagining this, but there seems to be a lot of emphasis on liver/kidney attacks and blows to the lower back, which I enjoy a lot.  Bruno makes a big comeback with hip tosses and body slams.  Arion cuts him off, but Bruno comes back again with another body slam for the pinfall in 11:52.  Arion’s foot was in the bottom rope, but the referee didn’t see it.  I assume that will lead to a rematch.  I also don’t know what was “Texas” about this match.  The match time is announced as 14:52.  Either they’re lying, or exactly 3 minutes was cut out of this.  **1/2

Killer Kowalski (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Victor Rivera.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kowalski wrestle.  He’s very lanky.  The original tape here skips and goes wonky at a couple of points early.  Kowalski works the knee.  He’s a rather vicious fellow.  Rivera attacks Kowalski’s shoulder when the match is going in his favor.  At one point, Rivera gets Kowalski tied up in the ropes and beats him up a bit.  Kowalski breaks free and bites Rivera.  They brawl a bit.  Then they bite each other.  Kowalski bites Rivera again, and the ref calls for the DQ (13:04 shown).  So you’re allowed three bites until you get DQ’d?  Rivera is announced as the winner in 15:50-something.  *3/4

The Wolfman vs. Ivan Putski.  I have no idea who the Wolfman is.  Vince refers to Putski as a “one man gang.”  He also states that this is Putski’s wrestling debut.  I cannot confirm for deny.  Putski is 275 lbs., and most of that is his beer gut.  I miss fat wrestlers.  Putski grabs a headlock and hammers Wolfman in the head.  Repeat.  Putski with a shoulder block.  Wolfman cuts him and wins on him briefly.  Putski fights back with punches and headbutts.  Wolfman with bites and claws.  Putski retaliates in kind.  They beat on each other some more.  Putski gets the bear hug for the win in 5:51.  Fun little mean guy match.  **  Wolfman tries to attack Putski after the match, but gets punched in the face.  The match time is announced at 6:45.  Again, I didn’t notice any editing.  Putski drinks beer in the ring 20 years ahead of Steve Austin.

This was interesting.  Obviously, modern WWE is very different from 1975 WWWF, but fundamentally, they are very much alike.  The psychology of the Bruno match was much like a John Cena match today, and as I mentioned before, the show closed with a beer drinking, working man-type babyface.

The Chuiresu Diaries 10/17/12: Chicken Soup for the Wrestling Geek’s Soul

Posted in ECW, WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2012 by Grappleholic

I’m trying something different here.  I don’t get to write reviews often anymore due to being a very stressed college senior, but every now and then I get the chance to watch a little bit of Pro Wrestling and would like to share my thoughts on it.  So, from time to time, I may post what I’m calling a diary with short thoughts on whatever I happen to watch that day.  Full show reviews may still happen in the future, if I ever have free time again.

I picked the the ECW Unreleased Vol. 1 Blu-ray recently, and this evening I’m taking a few hours off from stressing about life, the universe, and everything to enjoy it for a bit.

Former ECW announcer and current WWE.com guy Joey Styles is hosting this thing.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final: ECW Heavyweight Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (Hardcore TV, August 27, 1994).  This was the night Extreme Championship Wrestling was born.  Douglas and Scorpio had a very watchable little back and forth wrestling match, which Douglas won with a belly to belly suplex in 12:52 after Scorpio missed a moonsault.  But the post-match promo is where it’s at.  Douglas refuses the title, saying the NWA is a dead organization.  He instead declares his ECW title to be a World title.  Soon after, Eastern Championship Wrestling became Extreme Championship Wrestling.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven (w/ Stevie Richards & Beulah McGillicutty) (Hostile City Showdown, April 15, 1995).  Fun little brawl.  Raven gives Dreamer 3 consecutive DDTs, but Dreamer kicks out.  Dreamer DDTs Raven on the floor, but Stevie interferes.  Dreamer DDTs Stevie and the referee, then Beulah runs in.  Dreamer gives her a piledriver and Philadelphia, apparently big fans of domestic violence, love it.  Raven is announced as the winner by DQ.  Joey Styles puts it over as a moral victory for Dreamer.  Stevie carries Beulah to the back instead of allowing her to be stretchered.

Joey Styles puts over the workrate guys like Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero who got their first shot in the United States in ECW.

2 Cold Scorpio & Dean Malenko vs. ECW World Television Champion Eddie Guerrero & Taz  (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) (Heat Wave, 7/15/95).  The audio on some of these is pretty bad.  You can hear the announcer, but not the guys talking on the microphone.  So the banter before this match is completely lost on me.  This reminds me, I used to love Taz.  There’s something awesome about a short, stout guy who’s a total ass kicker.  If this isn’t the match where Taz broke his neck, it’s the same configuration of guys.  3 minutes in Eddie and Malenko tag in and start chain wrestling and I vomit rainbows in joy.  Scorpio and Taz have an awesome mat exchange that ends with Scorpio getting suplexed out of his boots.  For that matter, every combination of these guys is awesome, but Malenko and Eddie are two of my favorite wrestlers of all time.  Malenko puts Taz in a Sharpshooter that Joey Styles misidentifies as a Texas Cloverleaf.  I expect better from you, Joey!  I love how they’re working a really good wrestling match, but not at such a fast pace that you can’t digest anything.  Eddie hits a brainbuster that Malenko sells awesomely by convulsing like he just had a seizure.  He apparently still has feeling in his body, because he managed to kick out of the frog splash that followed.  Determined to paralyze Malenko, Eddie dropkicks him off the top turnbuckle to the floor.  Taz and Eddie hit a dropkick Doomsday Device.  That’s kind of neat.  Another Malenko/Eddie exchange with another misidentified Sharpshooter.  Have I forgotten what a Texas Cloverleaf is?  Okay, I googled it.  Looks like I’m the idiot.  Sorry, Joey.  Scorpio hits a dive to the floor.  Malenko tries to do one, but appears to lose his nerve and goes with an elbow smash off the apron.  More dives.  Paul E. hits Scorpio with the cell phone.  Taz hits a head-arm suplex for the pin.  State appointed referee Bill Alfonso orders the match restarted.  Scorpio superkicks Taz and Malenko hits the Tiger Driver on Eddie.  Alfonso fast counts the double pin to give it to Malenko and Scorpio in about 20 minutes.  This was pretty damned good, much to the surprise of no one.

ECW World Television Championship Match: “The Shooter” Dean Malenko (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero (Hardcore TV, July 28, 1995).  This match is great.  Seeing wrestlers of this caliber bust their asses for the sake of having a good match reminds me why I love professional wrestling.  Guerrero catches Malenko with a jackknife hold for the pin to recapture the title 11:47.

Joey Styles puts over Cactus Jack, always my favorite face of Foley.

Cactus Jack vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas (CyberSlam, 2/17/96).  Douglas jumps Cactus, who is wearing a jacket and tie for some reason.  That quickly goes, but Cactus is wearing a shirt underneath.  Good.  I’ve never seen Mick Foley shirtless, and I never want to.  The referee is Brian Hildebrand (aka Mark Curtis), God rest him.  Cactus is wearing the “Forgive me, Uncle Eric” shirt that I remember reading about in his first book.  Joey notes that Cactus didn’t come to wrestle tonight, hence the jacket, tie, and cowboy boots.  They brawl.  Crutches, guardrails, and chairs come into play.  Douglas hits a dive from the top rope into the crowd onto Cactus.  I’ve never seen that out of him.  Cactus does the “spit in the air and catch it in his mouth” bit, which is disgusting.  Joey Styles calls it “Vintage Cactus Jack” here in 1996, so fuck you, Michael Cole.  The referee hands Douglas an international object, which Douglas clocks Cactus with.  They’re handcuffs!  Douglas handcuffs Cactus and picks up a chair.  Cactus tries to fight back, but gets murdered in the face with a chair not as badly as he did with The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, but still…  Cactus calls for help from Vince McMahon (this was right before Foley went to the WWF).  Since Vince doesn’t come out to help, Cactus calls for Mikey Whipwreck.  Douglas is trying to make Foley say “I Quit.”  So this really IS like Rumble ’99.  Douglas locks in a figure-four leglock.  Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a chair and… murders Cactus in the face with it.  Hildebrand counts the pin while Cactus is still in the figure-four in 15:42.  This was fun.

“Lion Heart” Chris Jericho vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (The Doctor Is In, 8/3/96).  There’s too much dancing in Scorpio’s entrance for my enjoyment.  I don’t know anything about dancing, so I don’t know if it’s even good or not.  This must have been one of Jericho’s last matches before going to WCW.  Good wrestling here.  Jericho goes a really wonky submission hold that even Joey can’t identify.  Crowd chants “This show sucks!”  I have no idea why.  They do some near falls.  Scorpio kicks Jericho out of the ring to the floor and says he’s going to finish him.  Jericho stays in the game, though.  Jericho tries to spring off the top and hit Scorpio on the apron, but eats the floor instead.  Scorpio hits a diving leg drop that I thought might be the finish, but Jericho’s got some fight left.  Jericho hits his rebound from the turnbuckle into a dropkick to the apron deal.  There should be an easier way to say that.  Scorpio hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top that wins i… NO!  OMGWTF JERICHO KICKED OUT.  More counters and near falls.  They do some mildly crazy bumps, such as when Jericho powerslams Scorpio off the top rope.  Scorpio hits a Tombstone Piledriver and a Shooting Star press for the pin in 19:58.  Okay, yeah, this was pretty good.

Joey Styles talks about Sabu.

Tables & Ladders Match for the ECW World Tag Team Championship: The Eliminators (c) vs. Sabu & Rob Van Dam (CyberSlam, 2/22/97).  Saturn says the winners of this match will be the best team in the world.  That’s a stretch.  Tables and ladders are legal in this match, so of course, RVD and Saturn start with back and forth wrestling while the partners stand politely on the apron.  They start bringing in the plunder and taking crazy bumps at around the 7 minute mark.  With these bumps into ladders, it’s no wonder Perry Saturn has always been a bit touched in the head.  Saturn splashes Van Dam off a ladder.  Sabu kicks the ladder into Kronus, then puts him through a table at ringside.  Joey with the classic “OH MY GOD!”  The Eliminators keep the title when Kronus pins RVD after 2 Total Eliminations in 20:40.  Wild and fun.

And now, a brief digression.  I was chatting with a friend on Facebook (shout out, Shawn!) about memories of early 2000s wrestling and the time that Triple H defended the WWF title against TAKA Michinoku on Raw popped into my head.  I searched YouTube, and…

WWF Championship Match: Triple H (c) (w/ Shane McMahon & WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TAKA Michinoku (w/ Funaki & The Acolytes) (RAW IS WAR, 4/10/00).  TAKA is a mystery opponent.  He hires the Acolyte Protection Agency to watch his back and they immediately run off Shane McMahon.  This match is all kinds of fun.  TAKA gets his shine and Jim Ross convinces you that he has a shot to win the WWF title.  It doesn’t help that Hunter is being a real shit ass to referee Earl Hebner.  Earl lets it go when Funaki dropkicks Triple H into the APA and the APA beat the hell out of him.  Vince and Shane McMahon come out and distract the Acolytes.  The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan Pearl Harbor TAKA’s protectors, and Hunter hits the Pedigree for the pin in 5:53.  The dastardly heels put the boots to The Acolytes.  Man, this was fun and brought back fond memories of being a 12 year old WWF mark.

I’ve had a rough week and felt pretty miserable about life a few hours ago.  This heaping does of pro wrestling nostalgia was exactly what I needed.  I hope to find some free time again soon to watch the rest of the ECW set and the new CM Punk release.

WWE Money In The Bank 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2011 by Grappleholic

It’s been a bit.  Let’s see if I remember how to do one of these.

WWE open, AWESOME PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Chicago.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcer.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Sin Cara vs. Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Everybody brawls.  The big guys (Kane, Barrett, and Sheamus) clear the ring and brawl amongst themselves.  Kane clotheslines the others out of the ring, then tries to bring in a ladder.  Bryan dropkcks it into him.  Slater and Gabriel do the same to Bryan.  Cara tries to do the same to them, but they duck and nail him with the ladder.  Slater gets the ladder in the ring and sets it up.  Gabriel knocks him off and walks the ladder toward the center.  Bryan dropkicks him off.  Rhodes throws Bryan into the ladder.  He tries to climb, but Sheamus cuts him off and goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Rhodes counters, goes for the Beautiful Disaster, and hits Slater with it.  Sheamus uses the ladder to beat up Rhodes.  Kane throws Sheamus and Rhodes out of the ring.  Barrett jumps Kane.  Kane rallies and disposes of Barrett, then beats up Slater.  Kane goes up top, but Cara knocks him down with a kick.  Gabriel drops Cara.  Bryan ducks Gabriel and hits a tope suicida on somebody.  Gabriel, Slater, and Cara all hit dives too.  Cara, Gabriel, and Slater do stuff in the ring.  Cara gets rid of both of them.  Bryan appears on the top rope.  Cara hits him with a kick, then hits a one-man Spanish Fly off the top rope.  Cara goes out for a ladder, but Barrett boots him down.  Barrett builds a ladder bridge from the apron to the Spanish table.  Uh oh.  Barrett misses Sin Cara and accidentally clotheslines the post.  Cara goes back in the ring and eats a brogue kick from Sheamus.  Sheamus powerbombs Cara off the apron through the ladder bridge.  Fucking ouch.  Sheamus beats up more people with a ladder.  Cara is stretchered out.  Kane and Sheamus brawl in the ring.  Bryan, Kane, and Rhodes all bring in ladders, then drop them and start brawling.  Kane takes them both out and climbs the ladder.  The former members of The Corre cut him off.  Rhodes takes advantage of the distraction to climb the ladder.  The ex-Corre cut him off too.  Bryan climbs and gets the same treatment.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  His former teammates cut him off and beat him up, then throw him out of the ring.  Gabriel and Slater climb the ladder and fight over the briefcase.  Rhodes knocks the ladder over and gives Slater the Cross Rhodes.  Rhodes climbs the ladder.  Barrett cuts him off.  Rhodes gives him the Cross Rhodes too.  Rhodes climbs the ladder again.  Sheamus cuts him off and hits the uranage backbreaker.  Bryan cuts off Sheamus and rams his head into the ladder.  Sheamus and Kane hit Bryan with a Doomsday Device!  Sheamus and Kane brawl.  Kane eventually takes him out, then chokeslams Rhodes, then chokeslams Gabriel.  Kane climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off.  Kane tries to chokeslam him, but Bryan turns it into some kind of arm lock.  Bryan dives at Kane, gets caught, but somehow turns it to his advantage.  Slater climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off too.  Slater hits a neckbreaker off the ladder.  Slater climbs again, but Barrett cuts him off.  Barrett crotches Slater on the top turnbuckle, then beats up Sheamus.  Barrett brings a third ladder into the ring.  Barrett and Sheamus hit Slater with it, then launch him to the floor.  Sheamus hits Barrett and Rhodes with brogue kicks, then hits Gabriel with a Polish Hammer.  Sheamus drops Gabriel face first across the ladder, then gives him a brogue kick.  Sheamus climbs the ladder.  Kane comes up the other side and brawls with him.  Kane chokeslams Sheamus off the ladder into another ladder.  Ouch.  Barrett, Rhodes, and Bryan attack Kane.  Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Barrett hits the Wasteland.  Gabriel hits Kane with the 450 splash in an impressively small space.  Barrett gives Gabriel the Wasteland out of the ring onto Slater.  Barrett drops Bryan and gives Rhodes a pumphandle slam.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  Rhodes pulls him down and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Bryan climbs the ladder.  Rhodes tries to stop him, but gets elbowed in the face.  They fight up the ladder.  Barrett climbs up the other side and tries to take the briefcase.  Bryan guillotines Rhodes, then elbows Barrett in the face.  Barrett sets up Bryan for the Wasteland.  Bryan counters with the elbow flurry, then drops Barrett with a kick.  Bryan gets the briefcase in 24:26.  BRYAN WINS~!  HOLY SHIT!  Great match.  Bryan gets the honor of being the first guy to cash in and fail.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon, Johnny Ace, and some lawyer arrived.

Chicago!

WWE Divas Championship Match: Kelly Kelly (c) (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella).  Kelly slaps Brie and goes on the attack.  Kelly tries a headscissors, fucks it up horrible, and sort of recovers.  Brie goes to confer with her twin.  Kelly hits them both with a dive.  Back inside, Kelly sort of goes for a tarantula and gets sent face first into the floor.  Nikki puts the boots to Kelly behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, Brie goes beats up Kelly for a while.  Kelly makes her comeback and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Brie blocks the Rocker Dropper.  Kelly blocks a backslide.  Cover gets 2.  Brie DDTs Kelly’s foot.  Cover gets 2.  I’m fucking serious.  Kelly hits the Rocker Dropper for the pin in 4:48.  It wasn’t the worst match I’ve ever seen.

SummerSlam commercial.

Big Show/Mark Henry hype video.

Mark Henry vs. The Big Show.  The two big bruisers tear into each other.  Show hits Henry with a shoulder block and Henry rolls to the floor.  They brawl at ringside.  Henry dropkicks the steps into Show’s knee.  Back inside, Henry goes to work on the knee.  Show fight out of a half crab.  Henry squashes Show in the corner.  He tries it again, but is met with a boot.  Show dives off the bottom rope and hits Henry with a shoulder block.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Henry takes out his knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for 2.  Henry hits another World’s Strongest Slam and 2 big splashes for the pin in 5:58.  It was okay.  After the match, Henry gets a chair and Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show is driven out on a letter stretcher cart thingy.

Vince McMahon complains to Johnny Ace backstage.  Josh Matthews comes in and asks him of he’s resigned CM Punk.  Vince says no, then bitches about Punk being an ingrate.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Everybody grabs a ladder during their entrance and brings it into the ring, so we start with a ladder fight.  Del Rio is buried under ladder at ringside.  They even have mini ladders.  Bourne and Kofi brawl atop a mini ladder, then used it to hit people.  Rey takes Swagger out of the ring with a rana.  Riley drops Truth’s balls in a ladder, then hits him with a knee.  Riley climbs up the midget ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  This is stupid.  Riley takes out Miz and Swagger with a dive.  Truth break dances and hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop onto the pile.  Mysterio and Kofi hit stereo dives off the top rope.  Bourne hits a Shooting Star press off of a ladder onto everyone.  Bourne goes back into the ring and climbs a proper ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  They fight on top.  Del Rio pushes the ladder over.  Miz starts selling his knee.  Medics come out to check on him.  Del Rio climbs the ladder.  Truth stops him.  Miz is helped to the back.  Truth climbs the ladder.  Del Rio climbs the other side.  Bourne and Mysterio climb over them, but are pulled down.  They both hit Frankensteiners.  Swagger drops Bourne and Truth.  Kofi springboards over Swagger and climbs the ladder.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Riley climbs the ladder.  Swagger notices and brawls with him top of the ladder.  Truth pushes it over.  A ladder bridge gets set up in the corner.  Kofi, Truth, and Rey do some stuff with it.  Kofi comes off of it with a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Del Rio charges Kofi, but ends up diving under the ladder to the floor.  More ladder spots.  Swagger gets hit in the face with one.  Mysterio gives Truth a 619.  Riley and Mysterio fight on top of the ladder.  There are a bunch of ladders in the ring now.  Everybody climbs up and tries to get the briefcase.  Del Rio takes a face bump into the ladder bridge.  Guys continue brawling up top.  Bourne takes a bump off a ladder to the floor.  Kofi ends up on top alone.  Swagger makes it back in to cut him off.  They both fall to the floor.  Miz hobbles back down to a big pop and goes for the briefcase.  Mysterio cuts him off and gets booed.  Mysterio powerbombs Miz to the crown.  Del Rio cuts off Mysterio from getting the briefcase.  Mysterio says “fuck that” and knocks him down.  Del Rio climbs the opposite side of the ladder.  Mysterio hits him with the briefcase.  Del Rio takes Mysterio’s mask off.  A bunch of ladders fall over.  Del Rio climbs back up and takes it in 15:52.  Fun match, but nowhere near the Smackdown ladder match.

WrestleMania travel package advertisement.

Chicago!

Randy Orton/Christian hype video.

Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is mad that he had to be in Money In The Bank after winning a #1 Contender Match a couple of weeks ago.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian.  Orton can lose the title by DQ.  Christian brings a chair into the ring in an attempt to get Orton to get himself DQ’d.  Orton teases it, then throws the chair out of the ring.  Christian shaves Orton.  Orton decks him and kicks his ass.  Christian fights back, but eats a clothesline.  This is a heel crowd tonight.  They’re booing Orton.  Orton slides back into the ring to avoid a dive, then throws Christian into the steps.  Back inside, Christian rallies and hits the diving elbow smash for 2.  Christian beats on Orton for a time.  Orton awesomely avoids Christian in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Christian hits a spinebuster for 2.  Orton counters the Killswitch and clotheslines Christian, sending them both to the floor.  Back inside, Orton gets a jackknife hold for 2, then hits a Lou Thesz press.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Christian counters.  Christian dives at Orton, but gets caught with a dropkick.  Cover gets 2.  Orton goes for a superplex, but Christian knocks him down and hits a diving headbutt for 2.  Orton makes a comeback, but Christian cuts him off and hits the Killswitch for 2.  Christian goes for a spear, but Orton leapfrogs him and hits a swank gutwrench into a neckbreaker.  Orton goes for the punt, misses, and hits a powerslam.  He hits the DDT OF MURDER on the second try, then humps the mat.  Christian spits in Orton’s face.  Orton gets pissed off and beats on him.  Orton kicks Christian straight in the balls to cause the DQ and lose the title in 12:19.  Christian is crowned champion.  Orton kicks his ass at ringside.  Teddy Long comes down to try to settle Orton down.  Orton gives Christian the RKO on the Spanish announce table.  Orton starts to leave, then comes back down to a big pop and gives Christian another RKO on the table.

Skittles commercial.

SummerSlam commercial again.

John Cena/CM Punk hype video.

CM Punk comes out to an insanely loud hero’s welcome in his home town.  Cena comes out to the loudest fucking boos I’ve ever heard.  He’s all business tonight and even has the belt around his waist.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk.  They lock up and trade holds.  Cena ducks a high kick.  Man, this crowd is hot.  Cena gets a takedown.  They trade holds some more.  Punk hits a big hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover.  They counters each others’ finish.  Punk lands some kicks.  Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2, then grabs a headlock and works it.  Punk escapes and gets a 2 count.  There’s a high pitched “LET’S GO CENA” chant alternating with a much deeper “CENA SUCKS!” chant.  Cena hits a Fisherman suplex for 2.  Lawler just said he didn’t think there was a single Cena fan in the arena, so he didn’t just hear those loud ass chants.  Punk hits a DDT for 2, then applies a headscissors.  Punk escapes an Attitude Adjustment predicament and throws Cena to the floor.  Punk sets Cena in the apron and hits a diving enzui knee drop!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena goes for the STF and fails.  Punk clamps on a rear chin lock.  Punk hits a diving cross body to Cena’s knee for 2.  Cena sells the knee.  Punk tries to suplex Cena in from the apron, but Cena suplexes Punk to the floor!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena hits an elbow drop for 2.  Cena hits a nifty suplex/powerslam for 2.  Punk lands some punches to big cheers.  Cena locks in an abdominal stretch to boos.  Punk escapes with a hip toss.  Double knockdown spot.  Cena starts his comeback, but Punk catches him with a schoolboy for 2.  Cena concludes his comeback and goes for the “You can’t see me” gesture, but Punk kicks him in the head, knocks him to the floor, and hits a tope suicida!  Back inside, Punk goes for the springboard lariat, but Cena avoids it.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk sort of lands on his feet and lands a flurry of kicks for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Punk counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits 2 knee strikes and a bulldog headlock.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk lands more kicks.  Cena locks in the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick for 2.  Punk hits a diving cross body.  Cena rolls through, lifts him, and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF again.  Punk escapes and locks in the Anaconda Vice!  Cena fights out and hits the Attitude Adjustment for 2.  Cena comes off the top rope, but Punk sort of counters into a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Punk signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Cena drops to the apron and pulls Punk’s head across the top rope.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment again, and PUNK KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Cena tries to set up a SUPER ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Punk clubbers Cena’s head with elbows!  Punk hits a top rope Frankensteiner.  Cena rolls to the ropes.  Punk hits the running knee and the Go 2 Sleep, but only catches Cena in the middle.  Cena falls out of the ring.  Punk throws Cena back in the ring.  Vince McMahon and Johnny Ace come out.  Cena locks Punk in the STF.  Vince tries to call for the bell.  He sends Ace to do his bidding, but Cena decks him.  Cena yells at Vince that he can win this himself.  He goes after Punk, but Punk catches him and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin to win the title at 33:44.  Great pro wrestling match right here, kids.  Punk celebrates with the belt.  Vince looks almost as morose as Dana White did after Brock Lesnar lost the UFC Heavyweight title.  Vince takes King’s headset and yells at someone to send Alberto Del Rio out here.  Del Rio runs out.  Punk kills him with a high kick.  Punk blows Vince a kiss and leaves through the crowd with his belt.  What will happen next as the WWE Universe Turns?

Really good show with a couple of great matches.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/7/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our announcers LIVE from Milwaukee.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Vince McMahon comes out to the stage.  He congratulates Wisconsin on their SuperBowl win, then talks about WrestleMania.  He says that next week, the guest host of WrestleMania will be introduced.

Randy Orton comes out.  They show him punting Husky Harris in the head last week.  He tells CM Punk that they’re not done yet.  Punk comes out to retort.  He shows the Legacy attack and Orton head punt that cost Punk the World Heavyweight Championship at Unforgiven 2008.  Holy shit!  2 1/2 years of continuity in a WWE storyline!  Punk has a better memory than the WWE writers.  Punk and the rest of the remaining New Nexus head to the ring.  David Otunga, Michael McGillicutty, and Mason Ryan jump Orton.  Orton fights back, but is overcome by numbers.  Punk gets a bloody nose in the process.  Orton kicks Punk in the face despite behind held back.  They eventually beat him down.  Punk delivers the Go 2 Sleep.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

During the break, Cole got an email from the iBooker announcing a series of matches between the New Nexus and Elimination Chamber participants, ending in Punk vs. Cena.

Mason Ryan vs. R-Truth.  Truth gets booed for greeting Green Bay when they’re in Milwaukee.  Cole throws a fit.  Crowd chants “MILWAUKEE!”  Idiot Cole leads the chant.  Ryan throws Truth around.  Truth injures his knee.  Ryan attacks it, slamming Truth and causing his knee to hit the ropes.  Ryan keeps the heat going.  Ryan applies a modified stretch muffler thing for the submission win in 2:27.  It was there.  Ryan attacks Truth’s knee again after the match.  The crowd is still chanting “MILWAUKEE!”  The referee reverses the decision, so Truth wins by DQ.  Ryan doesn’t care.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Also, something with The Miz and Lawler.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Backstage, CM Punk pretends to be mad at Mason Ryan, but then tells him “well done.”  He tells McGillicutty and Otunga to injure their opponents tonight too.  Otunga is scared because he has to face Sheamus.

Natalya has joined Cole and Lawler at the table.  She’s getting her rematch against Eve next week.

WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Gail Kim, & Tamina vs. Melina & The Bella Twins.  Bellas beat up Gail.  Melina tags in and takes her turn.  Gail clotheslines Melina and makes the tag to Eve.  Eve runs wild on Melina and hits a standing moonsault.  Bellas save.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Eve hits a sweet neckbreaker drop on Melina for the pin in 2:23.  There ya go.  Tamina wasn’t trusted to do anything after that awful match on Superstars last week.

2/21/11!  Commercials!

Milwaukee!

Some Packers player celebrated his SuperBowl win with a WWE replica belt.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

John Morrison is in action NEXT!  Commercials.

John Morrison vs. Michael McGillicutty.  Morrison lands some punches.  McGillicutty drops him with an enzui lariat and beats on him.  McGillicutty pulls Morrison’s shoulder into the post, then beats on it.  McGillicutty dropkicks the steps like a fucking idiot.  There was no way he was going to hit Morrison with that.  Morrison makes his comeback.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and the Starship Pain for the pin in 2:31.  This was nothing.  The dropkick to the steps spot was fucking stupid.  CM Punk appears on the stage, sprays something into Morrison’s eyes, and kicks him in the head.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Last week, Jerry Lawler won the Raw Rumble!

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  They show Punk’s attack on Morrison again.  Miz cuts a promo.  He invites Lawler into the ring and tells Riley to get out of the ring.  They banter.  Miz says he patterned his career after Lawler’s.  Lawler makes fun of Miz’s haircut.  He says he didn’t pattern his career after anyone, he’s an original.  Miz says Lawler is a cheapshot artist.  They show Lawler decking Ted Dibiase Jr. last week.  Miz calls it a sucker punch.  Lawler calls Miz a sucker.  Lawler says he’ll finally become WWE Champion and get his chance to compete at WrestleMania.  Lawler gets the crowd to chant “awful” at Miz.  Miz goes for a cheap shot, but Lawler decks him.  Riley tries to jump Lawler.  Lawler decks him too, then throws him out of the ring and decks Miz again.  Lawler pounds and stomps on Miz.  Ted Dibiase Jr. appears and jumps Lawler.  DANIEL BRYAN makes the save!  iBooker dings in and makes a tag match!

WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) & Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler & WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  Riley joins Cole on commentary.  Dibiase beats up Bryan.  Bryan catches him with a knee lift and kicks the crap out of him.  Cover gets 2.  Bryan hits a running dropkick for 2.  Lawler tags in and beats up Dibiase.  Miz tags in.  Lawler hip tosses and slams him.  Miz begs off, then throws Lawler out of the ring.  Commercials.  Miz has Lawler in a rear chin lock.  Lawler escapes.  Maryse has appeared at ringside.  Bryan tags in and looks awesome against Miz.  Bryan goes up top, but Dibiase crotches him.  Miz hits the corner clothesline for 2.  Dibiase tags in and beats up Bryan.  Miz tags in and charges into a dropkick from Bryan.  Lawler and Dibiase tag in.  Lawler runs wild and hits a DDT for 2, as Miz saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Bryan takes out Miz with a missile dropkick and a tope suicida.  Lawler avoids Dibiase in the corner and Dibiase charges into the post.  Lawler hits the diving fist drop for the pin in 9:06.  Fun match.

Tonight, Punk vs. Cena!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Lawler and Cole bicker at the table.

King Sheamus comes out for his match.  Josh Matthews comes out and tells him that Mark Henry was talking shit about him, saying he doesn’t deserve to be in the Elimination Chamber.  Sheamus talks shit about Henry in return.  David Otunga comes out for the match.  Mark Henry comes out and brawls with Sheamus.  Otunga tries to sneak in and gets decked by Sheamus.  Henry avoids the brogue kick and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Twice.  Otunga stands over Sheamus like he actually did something.  New Nexus watches this on TV, pleased.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.  He’ll be in action NEXT!  Commercials.

Alberto Del Rio cuts a promo on Santino Marella, who was, believe it or not, the runner up in the Royal Rumble Match.  Santino hits the ring fighting and throws Del Rio over the top rope 8 days too late.

Alberto Del Rio vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella.  Marella throws Del Rio out of the ring again.  Back inside, Del Rio gets the jump on him and throws his shoulder into the post.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Del Rio works Santino’s arm.  Santino ducks an enzuigiri and makes his comeback.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Del Rio ducks and hits a Codebreaker to the arm.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special for the win in 2:58.  Fun times.

Recap of the New Nexus fucking people up tonight.

John Cena is headed our way!  The main event is NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Hype for this week’s Smackdown, with Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler for the World title with Vickie Guerrero as the referee.

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come out.  Vickie screeches at me for a while.  John Cena thankfully interrupts.  I don’t care about what he says either, but at least it’s not Vickie talking.  There are some football references.  Vickie and Dolph leave.  Cena cuts a promo about the New Nexus.  He promises to kick their elimination chambers.  Funny.  Commercials.

2/21/11!

John Cena vs. CM Punk.  They lock up.  Punk beats on Cena.  Punk actually throws a Mongolian chop, which makes me smile.  Cena avoids the running knee to the corner and fights back.  Cena hits a bulldog.  Punk lands some kicks and sends Cena outside.  Punk hits a diving lariat off the apron.  Back inside, Punk hits the running knee and the bulldog headlock.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters and punches Punk a bunch.  Cena blatantly punches Punk in the balls and gets DQ’d in 4:52.  New Nexus hit the ring.  Jerry Lawler hands Cena a chair.  Cena cleans house and stands tall as the show ends.

Fun show.