Archive for Victory Road

TNA iMPACT! 3/17/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 16, 2011 by Grappleholic

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting comes out with both the puke ugly Jeff Hardy belt and a brand spanking new belt.  He calls out Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff.  Hogan and Bischoff come out.  Sting gives Hogan the puke belt, which Hogan immediately discards.  Sting bitches at Hogan for brainwashing Jeff Hardy.  Hogan says Hardy embarrassed Immortal at Victory Road, then talks for three hours about whatever else.  Something about main eventers supposedly wanting to come into TNA.  Sting asks where they are.  Bully Ray comes out, because you know he’s a world renowned main eventer.  He puts over Hogan and bashes Sting.  He wants to take out Sting.  Hogan starts to reply to him, but Fortune interrupt.  Commercials.

Sting, Hogan, Bischoff, Bully, and Fortune are all in the ring.  Styles says Fortune has Sting’s back, then talks about Bully being a joke as a singles wrestler.  Bully retorts about Styles being Dixie Carter’s child or something and about Styles being a midget.  He wants to talk about his title shot with Hogan.  Styles slaps Bully.  Ken Anderson comes out to join the party.  He still wants his title rematch so badly it’s made him retarded.  Hogan says Anderson doesn’t get a title shot because he didn’t beat RVD.  Anderson replies that RVD didn’t beat him either and calls Hogan a carrot.  Bischoff babbles about the network and books RVD vs. Anderson vs. Bully vs. Styles in a #1 Contender match tonight.  Anderson doesn’t like it, but too bad.  This segment was… um… yeah.

Kurt Angle has a big present for the newlyweds.  Commercials.

AJ Styles chats with Rob Van Dam backstage, trying to form an alliance.  RVD isn’t buying it.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Madison Rayne (c) (w/ Tara) vs. Alissa Flash.  Rayne attacks Flash during her entrance to get the early advantage.  In the ring, she immediately hits her finish for the pin in 17 seconds.  And silly me was actually looking forward to Alissa dragging a match out of Rayne.  Madison and Tara go for the beat down, but Mickie James runs her off.  She wants another piece of Rayne.  Rayne points out, correctly, that she’s beaten Mickie time and time again and has no incentive.  She wants Mickie to put her hair up against the title at Lockdown.  Mickie agrees.  At least it’s not her career again.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is backstage with a fake blind guy, a fake fat guy, and a fake wheelchair guy.  He’s going to pretend to be Jesus later.  And they’re showing us ahead of time that he’s full of shit.

Tonight, the four-way match.  Commercials.

Ken Anderson pitches a fit to Hulk Hogan in the office.  They bitch at each other.  Anderson throws out the camera man.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring with his fake disabled and/or obese people.  He pretends to be Jesus and heal them the blind guy and the wheelchair guy, then insults the fake fat lady.  I hate wrestling.  Samoa Joe and Okato come out.  Pope throws the fake blind guy at Joe, then bails.  Pope captures Okato and holds a knife to his throat.  Are you fucking serious?  He kicks Okato and balls and throws him down, then reveals that it’s a fake knife.  Fuck Vince Russo.  Fuck Hulk Hogan.  Fuck Eric Bischoff.  Fuck Jeff Jarrett.  Fuck Dixie Carter.  Fuck everyone else who is responsible for this fucking piece of shit of a fucking wrestling show.

Tonight, a fucking four-way.  Commercials.

Moments ago, THE WORST FUCKING SEGMENT OF ALL TIME HAPPENED, AND THEY’RE SO PROUD OF THEY’RE SHOWING IT AGAIN.

Backstage, I think the Pope is torturing and preparing to rape Okato.  Samoa Joe runs Pope off and saves Okato.  I fucking hate this company.

Rob Van Dam accuses Ken Anderson of joining Immortal.  Anderson accuses RVD of the same thing.  Apparently one of them is turning heel tonight.  Who the fuck cares?

Four-way tonight.  Commercials.

Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, and Winter are bitches to each other backstage.  Angelina was supposed to team with Velvet, but she’s teaming with Winter instead, and no fucking body cares.  Velvet’s tits are still magnificent.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett come out.  Jarrett cuts a promo about how much better than Kurt Angle he is.  He says he’s offering a truce tonight.  He wants Angle to beg for forgiveness.  Angle comes out with his big present.  Angle facetiously puts over Jarrett and offers his gift.  Jarrett opens it to find an American flag guitar.  Angle takes it and breaks it over Jarrett’s head.  Awesome.  Karen hits Angle in the balls, but he pulls out the cup he was wearing and laughs at her.  Angle says he’s sick of this shit.  He wants Jarrett at Lockdown.  Either that or he’ll keep attacking Jarrett at home or something.  Jarrett agrees, with blood in his eye, despite Karen’s protests.  AWESOME segment.  I’m a little less pissed off now.

Eric Bischoff lectures Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy backstage.  He tells them that Abyss has been stripped of the TV title, so tonight the three of them will meet for the title.

Tonight, Matt Morgan, Angelina Love, & Winter vs. Hernandez, Rosita, & Sarita in a Street Fight!  Anderson vs. RVD vs. Styles vs. Bully!  Commercials.

House shows!

Karen Jarrett is on the phone with 911.  Jeff is bleeding.

Terry/Gunner/Murphy hype video.  Are you fucking serious?

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Television Championship: Gunner vs. Murphy vs. Rob Terry.  Gunner and Murphy beat up Terry.  Brooke Hogan and her stepmother are in the front row.  Cops arrive backstage.  Terry hits a Polish Hammer on Gunner for 2.  They lumber around and punch each other.  Terry drops Murphy with a spin kick.  Gunner spears Terry.  Gunner hits an F-5 on Murphy for the pin in 1:46 to win the title.  This was terrible.

AJ Styles talks backstage.  Ric Flair interrupts to talk shit.  Styles decks him.

The four-way TONIGHT!  The Street Fight NEXT!  Commercials.

Karen Jarrett bitches to police.  Jeff yells at her to chill the fuck out and argues with the cops.  Ugh.

Hernandez, Sarita, & Rosita come out.  Hernandez cuts his usual promo.  They’re now called Mexican America.

Street Fight: Mexican America (Hernandez & TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Rosita & Sarita) vs. Matt Morgan, Angelina Love, & Winter.  Everybody brawls.  The women go outside.  Morgan beats up Hernandez in the ring.  Rosita and Sarita jump on Morgan’s back.  He throws them off.  Winter and Angelina attack them.  Winter hits her spinning slam on Rosita for the pin in 1:21.  I’m not going to bitch much about this being over with quickly.  Some guy attacks Morgan.  Morgan hulks up.  Hernandez and the guy run away.  Apparently this guy is the same “fan” who jumped in the ring at Victory Road.

The four-way is next.  Commercials.

RVD/Anderson Victory Road highlight video.

Four-Way Match to determine the #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: AJ Styles vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray vs. Ken Anderson.  Styles/Bully and RVD/Anderson pair off and brawl.  Styles hits a Frankensteiner on Ray, which is pretty sweet.  He goes for a monkey flip, but Bully pushes him down.  Ray and Anderson brawl.  Bully clotheslines Anderson out of the ring.  RVD and Bully go at it.  RVD hits a spin kick and the Rolling Thunder.  Anderson pulls RVD out of the ring and clotheslines him.  Styles hits a sunset flip on Anderson for 2.  Styles goes the leap frog, drop down, dropkick.  Ray clotheslines Styles for 2.  Ray hits a sidewalk slam on Styles for 2.  Bully beats up on everyone.  RVD beats up everyone.  He goes for the Five Star Frog Splash on Anderson, but it’s avoided.  Bully hits a Rock Bottom on Anderson for 2.  Styles hits a springboard cross body on Bully for 2.  RVD hits Styles with the flying kick for 1.  Anderson hits RVD with a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Bully avoids a dive from Ray and tries to hit him with a chair, but Hebner takes it away.  Anderson dives RVD a backdrop suplex on the chair and they pin each other in 5:53.  Bully attacks the referee, then attacks Jeremy Borash.  Styles rakes up and brawls with Bully.  Styles gets a chair and Bully begs off on the stage.  Ric Flair appears and hits Styles in the balls.  Ray gives Styles a sit-out powerbomb off the stage through a table.  Pat Kenney, Al Snow, and the geeks appear to check on them.  Commercials.

Bully Ray wakes up and shoves Al Snow and an EMT.  They show replays.  D’Lo Brown, Snow, and Pat Kenney try to get Ray out of there.  Tommy Dreamer and Fortune are out to check on Styles.  Styles gets stretchered out, but this is TNA so I’m sure he’ll be fine next week.  Kazarian goes to call Styles’ wife.  They all head off to the hospital.  They really tried to present this is a big, serious deal, but it’s TNA and it’s impossible to take anything they do seriously.

I liked the Jarrett/Angle stuff before the fucked it up with the cops, and they tried with the Bully/Styles angle, but 95% of this show was TNA 101 and a textbook example of why everyone with a brain hates their show and why they’ll never be successful.

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TNA Victory Road 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2011 by Grappleholic

PPV opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Bully Ray comes out for his match.  He calls So Cal Val into the ring to give him a microphone, then bullies her out of the ring because he’s a bully.  He puts over Hogan and Bischoff, then calls out Tommy Dreamer.  Dreamer comes out.  Ray talks shit to him, then informs him that their match is Falls Count Anywhere.  I’m sure Dreamer is shaking in his little space boots.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer.  Dreamer attacks Bully and kicks his ass to start the match.  Ray lands a clothesline.  Dreamer recovers and throws him out of the ring.  They brawl on the floor.  Dreamer has a fan hold a chair and rams Bubba’s head into it, then spits a fan’s water into Bubba’s face, the hits him with a stuffed minion from that Disney movie, Despicable Me.  I think that’s what it is, anyway.  They brawl in the crowd.  They make their way back to ringside and Bubba gains the advantage.  Bubba swings a Singapore cane at So Cal Val just to be a dick, then takes her chair to attack Dreamer with.  That sentence wasn’t grammatically correct.  Anyway, he fails with the chair.  They throw some plunder into the ring and the Innovator of Violence goes to work.  There’s a blowup doll.  Bubba gets knocked down and 69s with it.  Dreamer interrupts the coupling with a big splash for 2.  Dreamer goes up top.  Bubba cracks him with a trash can lid, then hits a superplex.  Bubba gives the blowup doll an elbow drop and throws it out of the ring.  Dreamer counters the Bubba Bomb and hits the DDT for 2.  Dreamer brings in a table and goes for a piledriver.  Bully back body drops him, then clobbers him with a trash can.  Bubba goes for a Rock Bottom or something, gets countered, and lands a big boot for 2.  Bubba canes Dreamer, then calls for a microphone so he can talk shit while he does it.  He yells “This is for you, Devon!” and sets up a powerbomb.  Devon’s music plays.  Terrence and Terrell come out, one of them in a neck brace.  Brother Devon appears behind Bully.  Devon and Dreamer gives Bully the 3D through the table and Dreamer gets the pin in 10:44.  Fun little garbage match.  I have no complaints.  Dreamer, Devon, and sons celebrate.

Tenay and Taz chat about the main event.

Christy Hemme interviews The Beautiful People and Winter.  Velvet and Winter still aren’t getting long, and Angelina is monkey in the middle.  Velvet’s rack is magnificent tonight.  Sorry, couldn’t help it.

Sarita and Rosita come out.  Sarita cuts a promo out how they’ll win the titles.  She rattles off some Spanish that I can for the most part follow, but makes some gender errors.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Angelina Love & Winter (c) vs. Sarita & Rosita.  Winter comes out in a blindfold for some reason.  Love and Rosita lock up.  Rosita is a seriously tiny woman.  Love knocks her down a bunch and she tags out.  Sarita gets schooled briefly and tags back out.  Love gives her a drop toe hold and tags in Winter.  Winter hits a backbreaker for 2.  Sarita tags in.  Winter hits a Northern Lights suplex hold.  Rosita breaks her bridge to save.  Love tags in.  Sarita tags out and tries to electric chair drop Rosita onto Love, but Love moves.  Love hits Rosita with a World’s Weakest Slam for 2.  Winter tags in.  She avoids a dropkick from Sarita.  Rosita eats it instead.  More quick tags with Love and Winter, who I guess are the babyfaces, dominating.  A brief clusterfuck ensues.  Sarita tries to use one of the title belts, but Love stops her and takes out out of the ring.  Hebner follows them out.  Rosita tries to use the belt, but Velvet Sky appears and takes it away.  Winter gets a reverse cradle on Rosita.  Sarita comes in and turns it over.  After several long seconds, Hebner makes it in and counts the pin on the world’s weakest cradle in 4:58.  Rosita and Sarita win the titles.  Love and Winter are mad at Velvet, who did nothing wrong that I can tell.  This was really meh and the finish was shit.

Footage of Jeff and Karen Jarrett on their honeymoon.  With their kids.  At a theme park.  Karen is not pleased.  They go for pizza.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Morgan.  He cuts a promo on Hernandez.

Morgan/Hernandez hype video.

First Blood Match: Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan.  Morgan rushes and beats up Hernandez.  Morgan knocks Hernandez to the floor and they take turns ramming each others’ heads into the steps.  Back inside, Morgan exposes a turnbuckle.  Hernandez hits a shoulder blood and brings in a stick.  He breaks it in half and chokes Morgan with it, then tries to stab him.  iMPACT! Zone mutants chant “WE WANT BLOOD!”  Hernandez tries to gouge Morgan in various ways.  Morgan catches him with a sidewalk slam.  Hernandez hits another shoulder block and starts to put a beating on Morgan.  Morgan hulks up and makes his comeback.  Morgan brings the stick back in.  Hernandez kicks him low and goes up top.  Morgan throws him off like Hernandez is Ric Flair in every match he’s ever had.  A “fan” jumps in the ring.  The referee and security get him out.  Hernandez tries to use a chain.  Morgan takes it away and punches him.  The referee is out on the floor from the scuffle with the fan.  Hernandez squirts fake blood on Morgan.  The referee comes in, sees the fake blood on Morgan, and calls it in 8:34.  The match wasn’t any good, but that finish was hilarious.  You can see now that Hernandez is bleeding from the head.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fuck finish in a first blood match.  Hilarious.

Christy Hemme interviews Generation Me.  It’s Max’s birthday.  He claims that Jeremy is going to help him with the X Division title for his birthday.  Jeremy doesn’t seem completely cool with this plan.

Jeremy Borash interviews TNA X Division Champion Kazarian, who isn’t sweating his return to Ultimate X.

Earlier today, Cookie screamed at Robbie E. while he was trying to get ice cream.

Ultimate X hype video.

X Factors.

Ultimate X Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie) vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck.  Cookie immediately tries to hump Kazarian’s leg.  GenMe beat up Robbie and throw him out, then go to work on Kazarian.  Kazarian jumps over them to the cables and goes for the belt.  Jeremy pulls him down.  Max accidentally clotheslines Jeremy.  Kazarian drops Max with a dropkick.  Robbie beats up Kazarian while Cookie screams obnoxiously.  Kazarian is sent outside.  Jeremy attacks Robbie while Max goes for the belt.  Robbie stops them and goes for the belt himself.  Kazarian climbs out and kicks him down, then drops down on h im with a leg drop like an idiot instead of taking the belt when he had the perfect chance.  Jeremy comes back in, kicks Kazarian in the head, and hits the springboard face plant.  Jeremy tries to help Max get to the belt.  Robbie gives Jeremy a neckbreaker.  Max falls down.  Gen Me are sent out.  Kazarian and Robbie go at it.  Kazarian back body drops Max out of the ring and he takes a bump on the steps.  Kazarian hits him with a dive.  Max hits Kazarian with a dropkick.  Jeremy hits Kazarian and Robbie with an Asai moonsault.  Max calls for Jeremy to come back and help him even though he’s all alone and can go for it himself.  Kazarian comes back in instead and beats him up.  Max drops Kazarian and goes for the belt while Jeremy holds Kazarian down.  Kazarian fights him off and pulls Max down.  Gen Me double team Kazarian.  Jeremy blocks Kazarian while Max climbs for the belt.  Kazarian kicks Jeremy down, then pulls Max down and catches him with an Ace Crusher.  Robbie pulls Kazarian’s neck across the top rope and goes for the belt.  Max pulls him down and hits him with a very swank reverse blockbuster/diving Diamond Dust type move.  Kazarian sends Max into the corner steel thing.  Jeremy beats up Kazarian.  Robbie, Jeremy, and Kazarian do the tower of doom spot.  Kazarian revives and gives Robbie the Fade To Black.  Jeremy nails Kazarian with an elbow smash and a spin kick.  Jeremy goes up top.  Kazarian hits him with a enzuigiri and hits the MOTHERFUCKING FLUX CAPACITOR!  Kazarian and Robbie both go for the belt.  Gen Me pull Robbie down and give him a double superkick.  They swing Kazarian back and forth until he falls down.  Jeremy goes up top.  Max bitches at him and pulls him off the top rope.  They argue.  Jeremy allows Max to go up, then goes up himself.  They meet int he middle and fight.  Robbie brings in a ladder, breaking the number one rule of Ultimate X.  Jeremy takes a bump off the cables.  Robbie knocks Max down and tries to set up his ladder.  Kazarian climbs the structure and walks the rope to the middle.  Robbie climbs the ladder and they fight over the belt.  Kazarian wins.  The bell doesn’t ring until Kazarian drops to the mat at 14:22, so I guess you have to take a stupid bump to make it official.  Fun match.  Some crazy spots.  Some really stupid logical flaws.

More of Jeff, Karen, and the kids.  Jeff brings more pizza.  Karen is being bitchy.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  They’re perverts, then they cut a promo on Shannon Moore.

Beer Money/Ink Inc. hype video.

Tag Lines.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) vs. Ink Inc.  Storm and Neal lock up.  Storm lands a shoulder block.  They each block hip tosses and jump around a bit, then trade arm drags.  Stalemate, applause.  They trade slaps.  Storm hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Neal hits a cross body for 2.  Roode and Moore tag in and lock up.  Roode takes Moore down and they do a bit of chain wrestling.  Moore hits a dropkick for 2.  Roode hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  Neal tags in.  Roode avoids the double team and hits a powerslam for 2.  Storm tags in.  Moore cheap shots him.  Neal is like “WTF?” and tags out.  Moore works over Storm.  Neal tags in and keeps the heat going.  Moore comes back in.  Storm avoids him in the corner.  Neal and Roode tag in and brawl.  Roode gets the better of it and runs wild.  Roode hits a spinebuster for 2.  Beer Money do some swank double teaming on Neal.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Moore runs wild on Beer Money.  They kind of botch a moonsault body block.  Moore hits a flipping bulldog on Roode for 2.  Ink Inc. go for their finish, but Roode counters it and drops Neal with a lariat.  Roode and Moore fight on top.  Moore knocks Roode down.  Storm tries to cut him off, but fails.  Moore hits the Halo on Storm.  Roode hits a Rock Bottom on Moore for 2.  Double suplex on Moore.  BEER!  MONEY!  They go for the DWI, but Neal spears Storm.  Neal hits a neckbreaker on Roode.  Moore follows with an Ace Crusher for 2.  Moore gets the chain that his stupid book is on.  Neal tells him “no,” then holds Roode up.  Storm makes the save and hits a Lung Blower on Moore.  Beer Money hit the DWI on Moore and Roode gets the pin in 12:32.  Okay match.  Neal shakes hands with Beer Money.  Moore spits beer in Storms face and runs away.  Ink Inc. argue.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Hardy and Ric Flair.

AJ Styles vs. Matt Hardy (w/ Ric Flair).  They lock up.  Styles dodges a punch and lands some of his own.  Styles hits a shoulder block, then grabs a front face lock.  They trade hammerlocks.  Styles takes Hardy down with a headlock.  Hardy lands an elbow smash.  Styles does the leap frog, drop down, dropkick.  Hardy tries to suplex Styles in from the apron.  Styles lands on his feet and knocks Hardy out of the ring.  He hits the ropes for a dive, but Flair grabs his foot.  Hardy clotheslines Styles for 2.  Styles low bridges Hardy out of the ring and hits a moonsault off of the apron.  Hardy sends Styles’s shoulder into the apron, then the post.  Hardy tries to whip Styles into the barricade.  Styles slides under, then comes off the barricade with a forearm.  Back inside now.  They counter each other.  Styles takes a whiplash bump into the turnbuckles.  Hardy throws Styles outside and distracts the referee so Flair can get his cheap shots in.  Hebner and Flair get into it.  Hardy throws Styles back in and hits the Albert decapitator for 2.  Hardy locks in a swank standing butterfly lock.  Styles turns it into a cover for 2, then reaches the ropes to escape the hold.  Hardy chokes Styles with his boot.  Hardy hot shots Styles into the top turnbuckle and hits a sleeper drop for 2.  Flair grabs Styles’ balls behind the referee’s back.  Hardy drops some elbows for 2.  Hardy applies a cravat.  Back up, they double clothesline each other, then Styles lands an enzuigiri.  They trade punches.  Styles hits a fireman’s carry into an over the knee backbreaker for 2.  Styles hits a suplex neckbreaker for 2.  Styles goes up top.  Hardy gets up to cut him off, but Styles jumps over him.  Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  Hardy comes off the top with a diving elbow to the back of the head.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Hate, but Styles turns it into a backslide for 2.  Hardy hits a discus lariat.  Styles goes for the Style Clash, but Hardy turns into an Alabama Slam for 2.  Styles catches Hardy with an elbow smash and botches the Phenomenon, but turns it into a cover that gets 2 when Hebner finishes being distracted by Flair.  Flair pokes Styles in the eye.  Styles knocks Flair off the apron with a Pele kick.  Hardy hits a DDT and a moonsault press for 2.  Styles counters the Twist of Hate again, but eats an elbow.  Hardy is on top.  Styles knocks him down with the Pele kick.  Styles hits the MOTHERFUCKING SPIRAL TAP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS to get the pin in 17:37.  Good match.  SPIRAL TAP~!  Styles gives Flair a retaliatory shot to the balls after the match.  Fun times.

More of Jeff and Karen.  Jeff is enjoying himself, but Karen is pissed.  Jeff says he misses Kurt and he’s going to call for a truce on Thursday.  The kids come up and they all get sprayed with water.  Karen throws a fit.

Christy Hemme interviews Ken Anderson.

RVD/Anderson hype video.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Ken Anderson.  They stare at each other.  The mutants start their alternating chant.  They start punching, then counter each other a bunch, then cradle each other for 2.  Stalemate, applause.  There’s been a lot of that in TNA lately.  They trade hammerlocks and headlocks.  Very cool wrestling exchange.  RVD goes for a leap frog and crotches himself on Anderson’s head.  They go back and forth some more.  RVD hits the springboard kick and the Rolling Thunder.  Anderson rolls out of the ring.  RVD hits baseball slide dropkick and a slingshot dive.  RVD goes for the guardrail leg drop, but Anderson moves and RVD leg drops the barricade.  Fucking ouch.  Anderson goes to work on RVD’s leg.  RVD’s leg is so injured that Anderson gets 2 off of a chop block.  RVD holds onto the top rope to avoid the Mic Check.  Anderson avoids the Rolling Thunder.  RVD counters the Lambeau Leap and grabs a headlock.  Anderson turns it into a backdrop suplex.  Anderson hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check again.  RVD counters.  Double clothesline spot.  They trade punches.  RVD does a back flip and lands on his feet fine despite the injured leg.  They conk heads.  RVD hits a cross body against the ropes that takes them both out of the ring.  They brawl up the ramp.  Anderson hits the Mic Check on the ramp.  It’s a double count-out in 12:52.  There’s even an alternating chant of “RESTART THE MATCH!” and “NO!”  Fucking iMPACT! Zone mutants.  So… a double count-out.  Lovely.  It was okay match until the schmozz finish.

Pre-taped comments from Jeff Hardy.

Sting/Hardy hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

Introduces and introductions for the World title match.  Eric Bischoff comes out.  He shakes Hardy’s hand, then tries to shake hands with Sting.  Sting, for once, isn’t buying it.  Bischoff makes it a No DQ Match.  Sting decks Bischoff and stomps on him.

No DQ Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Sting (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  Hardy teases throwing his shirt to the crowd for a while.  Sting backs him into the corner.  The referee makes him stand back.  Hardy fucks around about his t-shirt some more.  They lock up.  Sting clubbers Hardy a bit, then hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the pin in 1:28.  Seriously, that was the whole match.  Apparently Hardy showed up “in no condition to perform” tonight.  The No DQ thing never came into play.  I assume the Bischoff shit was just to kill time.

PPV recap video.

This show was heading to a thumbs very slightly up until the double count-out in the semi main and the 1:28 main event.  That knocked it down a few pegs.

TNA iMPACT! 3/10/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of last week’s happenings.

“The Return of the Icon”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

The NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting comes to the ring.  He thanks the fans for their support.  He puts over Jeff Hardy.  Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come out and applaud Sting.  Hogan talks for a while.  Sting responds at length.  Ken Anderson comes out.  He talks for a while.  The short of it is, wants a title shot.  Jeff Hardy comes out.  He also wants a title shot.  Rob Van Dam, who I can only assume also wants a title shot, comes out.  What do ya know?  I was right!  Hogan says he’s the one who calls the shots.  Bischoff books Sting vs. Hardy and RVD vs. Anderson for Victory Road and Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD tonight.

The Beautiful People are in the locker room.  Cookie, Angelina from Jersey Shore, and Sarita come in.  They’re all bitch.  Winter bitches at Angelina for talking shit to the other Angelina.  The heel bitches leave, then Velvet bitches at the other face bitches.  I hate women’s wrestling.

Pope/Joe next.

Samoa Joe (w/ Okato) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope comes out of the crowd and hits Okato with a chain.  Joe chases Pope into the ring, where Pope gets the jump on him.  Joe rallies and beats up Pope.  Pope beats up Joe.  Joe kicks Pope in the face and hits a senton splash.  Joe hits a powerslam for 2.  Pope begs off.  Joe slaps him.  Pope counters the choke and hits a STO for 2.  Pope removes a turnbuckle pad.  The referee sees it and does nothing about it.  Joe hits an Exploder.  Pope grabs his chain .  The referee finally decides to fix the turnbuckle.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Pope KOs him with the chain for the pin in 3:22.  Stupid.

Bully Ray arrives and bullies the camera man, because he’s a bully.  He talks shit about Tommy Dreamer.  He challenges Dreamer to a parking lot fight.

Tonight, horrible women’s match.  Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD.

TNA Knockouts Championship Madison Rayne and Tara come out for a title match.  They show Rayne beating ODB 2 weeks ago.  Rayne is obnoxious.  She issues another open challenge.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Madison Rayne (c) (w/ Tara) vs. Roxxi.  Crowd is completely dead for Roxxi.  Rayne goes on the attack.  Roxxi makes her comeback.  Nobody mentions how Rayne beat her and forced her out of the company last year.  Roxxi hits a spinebuster for 2.  Roxxi gets a schoolgirl for 2.  Rayne hits her finish for the pin in 1:33.  Well this was pointless.  Rayne continues beating Roxxi after the match.  Mickie James makes the save.

Tommy Dreamer goes to the parking lot and waits for Bully Ray.

Bully Ray is in another part of the parking lot pretending to look for Dreamer.  Brother Devon attacks him instead and beats the hell out of him.  Ray begs off.  Devon whips him with a chain.  Fucking ouch.  Devon goes after Ray with a sledgehammer.  Tommy Dreamer stops him for  using it and leads him away.  Ray cheap shots a security guard who comes to help him, then whips him with the chain, then throws a guardrail on him.  Bully Ray is an awesome heel.

Sarita (w/ Rosita), Cookie, & Angelina vs. TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Angelina Love & Winter & Velvet Sky.  Angelina wants to start with Velvet.  Typical cat fight bullshit.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Robbie E. runs in and holds Velvet.  There’s some kind of weird clusterfuck.  Winter cleans house on the Jersey traps and bites Robbie’s hand.  Velvet schoolgirls Angelina for the pin in a mercifully short 1:53.  Now let’s never speak of this again.  Sky spanks herself.

Next, Matt Hardy vs. Ric Flair vs. AJ Styles in a three-way Street Fight.

Last week, Kurt Angle put football player Bart Scott in the ankle lock.  Video of Angle discussing the incident.  Ken Anderson also comments on it for some reason.

Ken Anderson is in the office with Hogan, Bischoff, and Hardy.  He’s incredulous about having to team with Hardy tonight.

Flair/Styles video package.

Ric Flair, Matt Hardy, and AJ Styles come out for their street fight, but Flair wants to talk.  Flair and Styles banter for a while.  Hardy talks shit to Styles for a while.  Styles slugs Hardy to start the match.  Insta-commercials.

Three-Way Street Fight: Ric Flair vs. Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles.  The bell never rang as far as I could tell.  Styles beats up Hardy while Flair watches from outside.  Hardy gets the advantage and Flair comes in.  Styles drops him with an enzuigiri, then puts him in the figure-four.  Hardy hits the diving leg drop on Styles for 2.  Flair bails.  Hardy throws Styles out.  Flair pokes  him in the eyes.  Styles rams Flair’s head into the post.  Flair bleeds, of course.  Hardy hits styles from behind with a trash can.  Hardy brings in a ladder and hits Hardy with it.  Styles counters Hardy and throws him into the ladder.  Flair attacks Styles.  Styles pounds Flair’s bloody head.  Hardy comes back in and hits the Side Effect for 2.  Hardy misses an elbow drop.  Styles kicks Flair to avoid a chair shot, then rips Flair’s shirt open and chops him.  Styles drops Hardy with the Pele kick, then goes for the Styles Clash on a chair.  Flair hits Styles in the balls.  Hardy gives Styles the Twist of Hate on the chair.  Flair pins Styles in 5:52.  This was a mess.

Sting tries to make amends with RVD.  RVD isn’t buying it.  They’re in a tag match tonight!

House shows!

Generation Me vs. Ink Inc.  TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money come out to do commentary.  Jeremy and Moore do a fast paced exchange.  Jeremy hits the slingshot X Factor.  Max tags himself in and tries to steal the pin, but only gets 2.  Jeremy tags back in and hits a slingshot dropkick for 2.  Max tags himself back in and covers Moore for 2.  What’s up with this shit?  Max clamps on a rear chin lock.  Moore gets a quick cradle for 2.  Moore fights back and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Neal gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Neal hits a cross body on Max for 2.  He face plants Jeremy.  Max superkicks Neal.  Jeremy tags in.  Max tries to launch Jeremy to the top rope, but Neal spears him in midair.  Moore throws out Max.  Ink Inc. hit th eir finish on Jeremy and Neal gets the pin in 4:15.  It was okay.  Moore says Ink Inc. will win the titles at Victory Road.  Storm says Beer Money will kick their asses.

Mr. Anderson is getting ready backstage.  Jeff Hardy comes in and stares at him, then asks if Anderson is going to turn on him tonight.  Anderson replies that he’s an asshole.  That wasn’t the whole thing, but it’s all I heard.

Tonight, Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD.

Victory Road hype video.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks backstage.

Video of the shit that went down with Kurt Angle and Jeff & Karen Jarrett last week.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett talk backstage.  They’re going to Orlando for their honeymoon.  So they’re going where they go every week anyway.

Ultimate X hype video.

Tenay and Taz hype Victory Road.

Sting hype video.

Jeremy Borash interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting.  Ken Anderson jumps Sting from behind and kicks his ass.  He REALLY wants his title shot.

So Cal Val has taken over as ring announcer, and she’s just awful.

Jeff Hardy & Ken Anderson vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting & Rob Van Dam.  Sting doesn’t come out for the match.  Anderson jumps RVD to start the match.  RVD fights back and hits a springboard kick for 2.  Anderson avoids the monkey flip and slaps Hardy in the back of the head, which constitutes a tag.  RVD beats up Hardy.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  Hardy goes to tag out, but Anderson drops off the apron.  RVD gets the leg roll cradle on Hardy for 2.  Hardy throws RVD down and slaps Anderson to tag him in.  Anderson gets knocked off the apron.  Hardy hits RVD with the Twist of Hate for 2, as Anderson stops the referee from making the count.  Hardy wasn’t legal anyway.  Anderson gives Hardy the Mic Check.  The lights go out.  Sting appears in the ring and beats up Anderson.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop.  RVD hits Anderson with the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 4:27.  Well this was dumb.

Garbage.  That was this show.  That is this company.

TNA Victory Road 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Cool opening video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Houston, Texas.  Jeremy Borash is shown outside the arena with the mutant TNA fans.  The polls are open as to what stipulations one of the matches will have tonight.  Generic blonde and B.G. James are in the crowd.  Tonight, there’s a Fans’ Revenge Strap Match and some other stuff.

We’re opening with the semifinal round of the World X Cup.  Current standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with 3 points each, Team International and Team Japan with 2 points each, so it’s still anybody’s ball game.  This match will be a 4-way trios match, known in Mexico as a Torneo Cibernetico.

World X Cup – Tag Team Elimination Match: Team Japan (Milano Collection AT, Masato Yoshino, & Puma) vs. Team Mexico (Ultimo Guerrero, Rey Bucanero, & Averno) vs. Team International (Doug Williams, Alex Koslov, & Tyson Dux) vs. Team TNA (The Motor City Machine Guns & Curry Man).  The winner gets three points, first runner up gets two, second runner up gets one point.  Yoshino and Curry Man start.  Yoshino is fast.  Sabin tags in and the Guns double team Yoshino.  Tyson Dux tags himself in.  He and Williams double team Sabin.  Sabin tags out and Team Mexico triple team Williams and Dux.  Averno hits a suicide dive on Williams.  Bucanero eliminates Dux with what looked like a Muscular Bomb at 2:57.  Milano and Puma double team Bucanero.  Averno comes in and throws both of them around.  Averno ducks and Puma nails Milano.  Averno eliminates Puma with an Angel’s Wings at 5:06.  Milano nails a superkick on Averno, but Bucanero saves him.  Sabin comes and and misses a dive on Milano.  Milano puts the Guns in a double half crab.  Curry Man saves them.  Milano fakes a low blow from Sabin.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock to eliminate Milano at 7:14.  Yoshino comes in against Sabin.  He’s all alone now.  Shelley tags in and ties Yoshino to the tree of woe.  Shelley and Sabin both dropkick him in the corner.  Yoshino takes a tornado DDT from Sabin, but goes back and gets him in a hold.  Shelley escapes and nails a superkick.  Averno makes a blind tag and comes in with Yoshino.  Averno hits a wierd facebuster for a near fall.  Averno hits a TKO on Yoshino, but Yoshino gets a botched pinfall on Averno with a cradle at 10:34.  Koslov comes in and does the Russian kick dance on Yoshino.  Williams comes in and hits the Chaos Theory on one of the guns.  Curry Man tries to hit the Spice Rack, but Williams escapes it.  Guerrero and Bucanero attack both of them.  Curry Man ggoes for a top rope Frankensteiner on Guerrero, but gets powerbombed down for the elimination at 12:57.  Guerrero and Bucanero eliminate Williams at 13:24 with a cool sandwich double team.  The Guns miss stereo suicide dives.  Koslov tries to get the crowd to chat “Russia.”  They chant “Mexico” in support of Guerrero instead.  Guerrero hits a front suplex off the top rope on Koslov for a near fall.  Koslov ties up Guerrero in a cool submission hold to eliminate him at 15:13.  Sabin hits an inside top rope Frankensteiner on Bucanero.  Sabin pins Bucanero after a double superkick at 16:20.  Shelley hits a sick jawbreaker off the top rope on Yoshino.  The Guns work over Koslov and Yoshino.  First “THIS IS AWESOME” chant of the night.  Koslov dives at Sabin but gets caught with a dropkick.  Sabin hits an Ace Crusher on Koslov and blasts him with a lariat for a near fall.  Koslov pins Sabin with his feet on the ropes at 19:07.  Koslov hits a nice suicide dive on Shelley, then goes back in the ring to deal with Yoshino.  He catches Yoshino with a nice kick for a near fall, then takes a kick from Shelley.  Yoshino submits Koslov with the Sol Naciente at 20:35.  It’s down to Shelley and Yoshino now.  Yoshino gets a near fall off an awesome missile dropkick.  Shelley hits the Shiranui for the one, two, Yoshino kicks out!  That sentence made no sense grammatically.  They hit more great moves on each other.  Shelley hits a gorgeous Tiger suplex hold for a very near fall.  Yoshino hits a sick necktie off the ropes for another ridiculously near fall.  So many great false finishes in this exchange.  Shelley hits the Schwein (whatever he calls it) for the win at 24:20.  Really awesome match.  The last few minutes with Shelley and Yoshino are particularly awesome, and the early clusterfuck was all kinds of fun too.

Updated World X Cup standings: Team TNA – 6 points, Team Japan – 4 points, Team International and Team Mexico – 3 points each.

Tenay and West hype the matches still to come.

TNA Cribs with Booker T.  He’s got a big nice house and a lot of cool memorabilia.  Lots of cool vehicles too.  Booker must have saved his money from his WCW and WWE runs.

Gail Kim/Angelina Love hype package.

Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky) vs. Gail Kim.  Love attacks Kim from behind to jumpstart the match.  Kim gets the advantage and it doesn’t take long for Sky to trip her up and give Love an opening.  Kim fights back and goes for a stretches Love’s leg around the ringpost.  Sky tries to interfere again, but Kim throws her into the guardrail.  Not hard enough tough, as Sky interferes again and gives Love the openning to hit a superplex.  She takes to long to make the cover, though, and Kim kicks out at two.  Kim fights back and hits a spear.  Sky distracts Kim again, but Kim hits the Codebreaker and the Regal Cutter for the win at 6:15.  The Beautiful People jump her after the match and try to put the paper bag over her head, but Kim bails.  Match was meh.

Generic blonde and B.G. James are backstage with the fans who get to serve as lumberjacks tonight.  The fans whip mannequins dressed like Beer Money.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt history package.

“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  Dutt gives Val a rose and card, which angers Lethal enough to hit him with a suicide dive before the match starts.  Lethal destroys the gifts and throws Dutt in the ring to start the match.  Dutt gets the advantage and Val encourages the crowd to get behind Lethal.  Dutt hits a standing moonsault for a near fall.  Lethal makes a comeback and hits a German suplex, which Dutt takes front-first.  Dutt gets a shot in and goes for a tornado DDT, but Lethal pushes him away and hits a dropkick for a near fall.  Dutt hits an awesome avalanche Frankensteiner.  They end up on the outside, where Dutt takes a bump into the guardrail.  Lethal locks in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Val steps up on the apron and distracts Lethal.  Dutt tells Val he loves her.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  Val steps up to the apron again and distracts Lethal, allowing Dutt to schoolboy him and put his feet on the ropes for the win at 8:28.  Dutt kisses Val’s hand as he leaves.  Okay match, but we got plenty of highspots in the opener so this didn’t seem special in comparison.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

Borash interviews Beer Money.  Roode says they’re not afraid of the marks with straps.  Storm says he’ll be glad to leave Houston.  Jacqueline says she’s not going out with them.

Fans’ Revenge Strap Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money.  Homicide and Roode brawl to start.  Roode grabs a headlock and they trade hammerlocks.  Roode gets thrown out the ring and gets whipped.  He quickly scampers back in the ring and tags in Storm.  Storm throws Homicide out, but the fans don’t whip he.  He takes a drink of Storm’s beer.  Storm chases Homicide out and gets whipped.  Moron.  Homicide throws Storm out, but Storm skins the cat back in.  Hector pulls Storm out so he can get whipped again.  Tag to Hernandez and a bit of double teaming from the champs.  Tag back to Homicide, who Storm thumbs in the eye before tagging in Roode.  Homicide hits a headscissors, but gets sent out.  Homicide uses the Finlay trick of trapping Roode in the apron so he can get whipped some more.  Roode bails under the ring, but eventually has to come back out and gets whipped again.  Homicide hits the three amigos on him back in the ring, but soon gets worked over by Beer Money to build for the hot tag.  Homicide takes the heat for a few minute before making the tag to Hernandez, who cleans house.  Hernandez hits a sit-out powerbomb on Roode for a near fall.  Beer Money rally and go for a double superplex on Hernandez, but he fights them off and hits a diving splash on.  Referee counts two before the other guy makes the save.  Roode gets whipped again, then LAX hits the 5150 on him.  Hernandez covers for the pin at 10:09.  Okay match.  They worked in the gimmick well without having the whole match revolve around it.

Booker T gives us a tour of his wrestling school.

Recently on iMPACT, Taylor Wilde upset Awesome Kong to win the Knockouts Title.  Tonight is the rematch.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) vs. Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed).  They brawl.  Kong splashes her for a quick near fall.  Kong methodically destroys her, then stretches her with the camel clutch.  Taylor pulls Kong’s hair, but Kong smashes her again and goes for the Awesome Bomb.  Taylor finally makes a comeback with dropkicks and takes Kong off her feet.  Kong gets straight up and blasts her with a lariat.  Taylor hits an armdrag off the top rope rope for a near fall, then a quick roll up for the same.  Kong goes for a chokeslam, but Wilde gets a quick pin with a front cradle at 4:54.  Meh.  At least Taylor took her beating well.  Saeed blindsides Wilde after the match and throws her back in the ring.  Kong hits the Implant Buster and sets up for the Awesome Bomb on a chair.  Abyss comes out and threatens Kong.  Saeed steps between, then slaps Abyss.  Abyss gives her the Black Hole Slam and carries Wilde to the back.

Booker and Sharmell eat at their restaurant, called Sharmell’s.  They show him telling an employee to make the food portions smaller and water down the booze.

They show a shot of the NASA museum.

Ultimate X video package.  They show the crew setting up the Ultimate X structure while Tenay and West talk.  The winner of Ultimate X gets four points, and thus will win the World X Cup for his team.

World X Cup Final – Ultimate X Match: Naruki Doi (Team Japan) vs. Volador Jr. (Team Mexico) vs. Daivari (Team International) vs. Kaz (Team TNA).  David Penzer announces Doi as representing New Japan, but he’s from Dragon Gate.  They pair off and brawl.  Kaz goes for the big red X early, but Daivari pulls him down.  Kaz sends Daivari out.  Kaz, Doi, and Volador trade shots.  Volador goes for the X, but hits a rana on Doi off the cables.  Kaz sends Volador out and heads up again, but Daivari attacks him and they brawl on the outside.  Everyone gets back in the ring and Kaz tries to go for the X again, but flips on the cables.  Doi takes a nasty spill to the outside.  Daivari goes for the prize, but Volador pulls him down.  Volador goes for the prize, but Kaz throws Doi into him and Doi’s head hits Volador in the balls.  Kaz and Doi fight on the cables.  Doi takes the fall.  Volador comes from the other side and Kaz kicks him down too.  Daivari kicks Kazz down.  Volador powerbombs Daivari down.  Ouch.  Doi goes for it, but Volador dropkicks him and sends him outside.  Volador follows him with an Asai moonsault.  Kaz and Daivari fight on the steel thing that holds the cables up.  Daivari shimmers his way towards the prize, but Kaz jumps off the structure and hits a legdrop, sending them both crashing down for the HOLY SHIT! moment of the night.  The mutants in the iMPACT Zone wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to chant it.  Volador grabs the X to give Team Mexico the win at 10:59.  It didn’t measure up to previous Ultimate X matches, but it had some sick bumps.

Tenay and Willy Urbina (who?) are in the ring to present the big trophy to Team Mexico.  The crowd doesn’t care.

Booker T plays golf on his golf course.

Frank Trigg joins Tenay and West for commentary for the next match, which we then get a video package for.  Then Borash announces that the fans have voted for this match to be a Full Metal Mayhem match.

Full Metal Mayhem Match: Kurt Angle & Team 3D vs. AJ Styles, Christian Cage, & Rhino.  Angle jumps Styles in the aisle and everybody pairs off to brawl.  Angle is pissed at Styles because of something with his wife.  Christian is pissed at 3D because they put him through a glass table.  Styles hits a suicide dive on Angle and one of 3D.  The match is a wild brawl.  Don West is annoying.  Angle whacks people with a chair, then gives Christian a belly-to-belly throw onto a ladder.  3D use ladders to sandwich Rhino.  Styles sprinboards off a ladder and nails Brother Ray for the cover, but someone pulls referee Earl Hebner out of the ring.  Angle and 3D triple team Styles.  Christian hits a HIGH cross body onto all three of them off of the steel thing leftover from Ultimate X.  Rhino Gores everybody.  3D put Rhino through a table with the Doomsday Device.  Christian and Angle have an awesome exchange countering each others’ finishes.  Christian takes the 3D through the table at ringside.  The heels beat up Styles some more.  He ducks a charging Angle, who nails Devon.  Bubba SUPERKICKS Styles.  Bubba sets up Styles on a table and goes for a splash, but Styles punches him in the balls and puts him through with a facebuster.  Styles sidesteps a charging Devon and sends him through a table.  Angle goes after Styles, but Styles hits the Styles Clash for a very near fall.  Johnny Devine tries to interfere, but Styles disposes of him.  Angle hits the Angle Slam, but AJ kicks out of it!  Hebner takes a bump and hurts his leg.  Angle tries to Angle Slam Styles through a table.  Styles fights back and sets Angle on the table and climbs a ladder.  Trigg hits Styles with a Singapore cane.  Angle hits the Angle Slam off the ladder through a table for the win at 15:57.  I actually expected this match to be an overbooked piece of shit, but it surprised me by being REALLY good.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe.  Kevin Nash interrupts and tells Joe he’ll have his back tonight.  Joe tells Nash to stay out of it no matter what happens tonight.

Samoa Joe/Booker T video package.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T.  Sharmell is in the front row with some of Booker’s students.  Borash provides boxing-style introductions.  Booker is the hometown guy, so he has the crowd behind him.  They start by exchanging chops and punches.  Joe nails a kick and the crowd doesn’t approve.  Booker gets in a blow, but Joe blasts him with that knee kick he likes to do.  They fight on the outside, where Booker sends Joe into the steps.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker takes Joe back into the ring and nails a superkick for a two count.  Joe fights back, but Booker hits the axe kick for a near fall.  Booker continues to beat on Joe.  Joe hits his knee kick again, then hits it diving from the middle rope for a near fall.  Booker charges Joe, but Joe hits his powerslam for another near fall.  Joe hits an Exploder and gets another two count, then tries to set up the Muscle Buster, but Booker fights him off.  Booker accidentally hits the referee.  Joe hits a lariat, then throws Booker out of the ring.  Joe hits the Ole kick.  Sharmell pleads with Joe to beating on Booker T, then slaps him.  Joe beats up Sharmell’s bodyguard, who I assume is one of Booker’s students.  Joe rolls Booker back into the ring.  Booker is BUSTED WIDE OPEN too.  Joe beats up a couple of referees.  The match is a no-contest at about 13 minutes.  Joe beats up the security guards who try to break it up.  Sharmell comes into the ring and screams for somebody to come help.  Joe chokes out Booker.  Sting comes out and argues with Joe.  Joe acts like he’s going to leave, but goes back after Booker.  Sting gets in the ring.  Joe flips him off.  Sting hits Joe with the bat.  Booker covers Joe and Sharmell makes the three count.  Booker leaves with the belt.

Okay show.  Nothing sucked except for the women’s matches and I don’t like the main event not having a finish.  The World X Cup Elimination match and the Full Metal Mayhem are both definitely worth watching.

TNA iMPACT! 7/15/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Victory Road highlight video.

“They’re Here?”

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  They announce some matches way too fast to process.  I assume Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Updated top 10 Contenders: #10 TNA Global Champion Rob Terry, #9 The Pope, #8 Kurt Angle, #7 Hernandez, #6 AJ Styles, #5 Jay Lethal, #4 Samoa Joe, #3 Mr. Anderson, #2 Jeff Hardy, #1 Abyss.  They went through that so fast I had to rewind it once.

Abyss comes out carrying some raw meat and his nail board.  He talks about RVD and “they.”  He says later tonight he’ll tell RVD about the plan when gets the final details from “them.”  He talks about his girlfriend Janice… the nail board.  He hits the meat with the nail board, then bites it.  Gross.  And probably dangerous.  Retarded segment.

Sarita and Taylor Wilde are brawling backstage.  They keep brawling for a long time.  They’re having a street fight tonight.  Commercials.

Street Fight: Sarita vs. Taylor Wilde.  Wilde and Sarita brawl into the arena.  Wilde nails Sarita with a chair.  Sarita throws water on Wilde.  Sarita hides under the ring and jumps Wilde from behind.  Sarita tears up the floor mats, which for some reason have flames on the under side.  Sarita tries to slam Wilde onto the floor, but Wilde hits a facebuster on the padded section of the floor.  Wilde throws some kicks.  Sarita tries to get into the ring, but Wilde won’t let her.  Sarita finally manages to get the apron and tries to dive off, but Wilde throws a chair at her.  Wilde throws Sarita into the post and the barricade, then dropkicks her over the barricade.  Sarita chokes Wilde with somebody’s purse strap.  The referee stops a match that never technically started and gives Sarita the win.  Stupid crap.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam walks backstage and talks about Abyss.  Commercials.

Miss Tessmacher is in the office talking on the phone.  Kevin Nash walks in looking for Bischoff and Hogan, but they’re not there.  He asks to meet here later tonight, or something.

Non-Title “I Quit” Match: Brian Kendrick vs. TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams.  Kendrick goes on the attack.  Williams fights back.  Kendrick goes for his Cobra Clutch, but fails.  Williams kicks Kendrick in the thigh and tries to make him quit.  Repeat with a clothesline and a punch.  Williams applies a camel clutch.  The ref sticks the mic in Kendrick’s face every time he takes a bump.  Kendrick fights back.  Williams nails him with elbows.  Kendrick goes for a sleeper hold, but fails.  Kendrick chokes Williams with a boot in the corner.  Williams catapults Kendrick and applies a half crab hold.  Kendrick refuses to quit.  The referee makes Williams breaks the hold because Kendrick is in the ropes.  What’s he gonna do, DQ him?  I better not give Russo any ideas.  Williams hits suplexes.  Williams slaps Kendrick with his climbing gloves from Victory Road, then puts the glove on and hits a European uppercut, which has nothing to do with the hand.  Kendrick fights back and nails a flying knee.  Kendrick lands some dropkicks, then goes for the Cobra Clutch again.  Williams counters and goes for the Chaos Theory.  Kendrick counters and locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Williams quits in 4:55.  Another pretty stupid match.  A fucking non-title I Quit Match on free TV?  Are the building to a non-gimmick match at the next PPV?

Kevin Nash comes out and chokeslams Kendrick, just to remind us that TNA is the spiritual successor to WCW.  Nash babbles about what the fuck ever, then sets up Kendrick for the powerbomb.  Jeff Jarrett comes out and tells Nash to chill the fuck out.  They talk back and forth.  Nash says “There’s a lot of people that say I’m the best worker in this business.”  A lot of people = Nash, his mom, and his wife.  Nash says he and Jarrett have problems now.  I have no desire to find out where this is going.  Commercials.

ShopTNA.com!

Kevin Nash talks to the camera about Jeff Jarrett.

Non-Title Three-Way Match: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. TNA Global Champion Rob Terry vs. Samoa Joe.  They show Desmond interfering in Joe & Terry’s match vs. Stylezarian at Victory Road.  Joe and Terry are both pissed off.  Brutus Magnus (WTF is he doing here?) joins Taz and Tenay on commentary.  Terry and Joe take out Wolfe, then brawl with each other.  Joe locks Terry in an ankle hold.  Wolfe breaks it.  Wolfe does his awesome arm takedown on Joe and sends him outside.  Wolfe beats up Terry, then takes his eye off the fucking ball again to bitch at Chelsea.  Joe comes back in and Wolfe sends him out again.  Wolfe works Terry’s leg.  Joe makes it to the apron and Terry kicks Wolfe into him to knock him off again.  Terry makes his comeback on Desmond.  Terry hits his big kick.  Joe comes back in and hits a diving knee strike to drop Terry.  Joe locks Wolfe in the Coquina Clutch for the submission win in 4:17.  This was lame, which is disappointing.  Joe and Terry face off, then show respect.  Joe leaves.

Up next, The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money in a Ladder Match, the first match of a Best of Five Series for the TNA World Tag Team Championship!  Commercials.

Ric Flair announces to the camera guy that he’s going to make an announcement tonight.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Best of 5 Series 1st – Ladder Match: Beer Money vs. The Motor City Machine Guns (c).  The prize is an open contract for a match stipulation.  Beer Money jump the guns from behind.  Storm throws Sabin out of the ring, then they double team Shelley.  They go for the double suplex, but Sabin saves Shelley.  Guns hit double dropkicks to send Beer Money outside, then hit double tope suicidas to the floor.  Guns bring in a ladder.  Sabin climbs for the prize, but gets cut off.  Guns whip Roode into the ladder, then splash against him a bunch.  Sabin accidentally elbows the ladder.  Beer Money beat up Shelley, then hip toss Sabin balls-first into the ladder.  Storm climbs the ladder, but Shelley cuts him off.  Roode climbs, but Shelley cuts him off too.  Storm hits Shelley with the ladder and brings in another ladder.  Sabin dropkicks a ladder into Beer Money and Shelley stomps it into them.  Sabin tries to run up a ladder at Storm, stumbles, then knees the fuck out of Storm’s face.  Roode turns Sabin inside out with a lariat.  Roode climbs the ladder, but Shelley hits him with another ladder.  Shelley sets up a ladder bridge between the other ladder and the bottom rope.  Guns hit a double team Complete Shot/bulldog on Roode into the ladder.  Storm pulls Sabin out of the ring and cuts on Shelley on the ladder, then hits a Lung Blower.  Storm sets up Sabin for a superplex onto a ladder, but ends up tied to the tree of woe.  Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick, kicking the ladder into Storm’s face.  Storm hits a backbreaker on Sabin.  Shelley has bridged a ladder between the apron and the barricade.  Roode gets dropkicked onto it.  Shelley springboards on Roode into Storm, then Sabin squashes Roode on the ladder again.  Storm and Sabin fight on the ladder.  It gets knocked over, but Shelley sets it back up with Sabin still on it.  Ref bump.  Roode and Sabin fight on the ladder.  Roode takes a bump to the stage.  Sabin grabs the contract.  Storm hits Sabin in the back of the head with a beer bottle and takes the contract.  Earl Hebner sees Storm with the contract and gives it to Beer Money in 9:25.  Pretty good ladder match.

Abyss hits a watermelon with his nail board.  Commercials.

Matt Morgan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Taz has taken to saying “Well, here comes the Pope!” when Pope’s music hits.  Pope goes for a Codebreaker early, but fails.  Pope ducks Morgan and hits him with a flurry of strikes.  Morgan chokeslams Pope into the corner and hits the revolving elbows.  Dinoer dropkicks Morgan into 619 position and goes for that move he does there, but Morgan moves.  Pope hits a Codebreaker for the pin in 1:37.  Lame.  Morgan jumps Pope from behind and hits a fall away slam and the Carbon Footprint.  He sets up Pope for the Carbon Footprint into the post that took out Hernandez, but Ken Anderson comes out with a steel chair to make the save.  Anderson throws Pope into the ring, teasing that he wants to help Morgan beat down Pope.  Anderson kicks Morgan’s ass instead.  Anderson offers a handshake, but Pope is understandably still pissed off about Anderson putting him on the shelf for months.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich argue about Madison Rayne.  Velvet is pissed.  Lacey advocates listening to Rayne’s side of the story.

Tonight, Lethal vs. Hardy!

Madison Rayne is in the ring bitching about losing the title at Victory Road because biker chick wasn’t one of the Beautiful People.  She threatens to sue TNA if the title isn’t returned to her within 7 days.  How much could TNA be worth anyway?  A couple hundred bucks?  Velvet and Lacey come out.  Velvet bitches her out.  Madison calls Velvet a dumb blond and says that she’s a genius.  Yeah…  Madison says she doesn’t need them anymore.  Velvet threatens to kick her ass.  TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love comes out and says it’s all an act.  She says Velvet was the biker chick.  She comments on Velvet’s fake boobs.  There’s something to be said here about the pot and the kettle.  Velvet says she’s insulted.  She says she’s done and Madison is all Angelina’s.  Velvet leaves while Lacey looks on from the ramp.  Madison calls for Angelina to give her the belt back.  Angelina gets in the ring and tells her to take it.  Rayne hits her with an elbow.  Love tackles Rayne and kicks her ass.  The biker chick rides out and attacks Angelina.  Rayne DDTs Angelina on a chair and leaves with biker chick again.  Ugh.  Whatever.

Jeff Hardy talks to nobody about Jay Lethal.  Commercials.

Jay Lethal vs. Jeff Hardy.  Lethal leap frogs Hardy and tries a roll under, but Hardy hits his leg drop to the legs for 2.  Lethal hits the Jericho springboard dropkick to the apron to knock Hardy to the floor and follows with a tope suicida.  Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Stevie Richards, and Raven take their usual place in the crowd.  Lethal covers Hardy for 2.  Lethal hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind for 2.  They trade shots.  Hardy hits a clothesline and a Manhattan Drop, then a leg drop to the balls and a basement dropkick for 2.  Lethal hits a springboard missile dropkick for 2.  Hardy counters the Lethal Combination and hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb for the pin in 4:29.  Okay little match, but there was absolutely no reason for this match to happen, unless they just decided to pull the plug on Lethal’s push.  He should have gone over a heel instead of jobbing to Jeff Hardy in a pointless babyface match.

Abyss and his girlfriend are headed our way.  Commercials.

Ric Flair, AJ Styles, and Kazarian are in the ring.  Flair says they’re the first 2 members of Fortune.  Desmond Wolfe comes out and says he deserves to be in.  Abyss comes out chases them away with the nail board.  He calls out Rob Van Dam.  Abyss tells RVD it’s time to share the plans.  Abyss babbles about “they.”  He wants to have a ladder match for the board, or something.  RVD retorts, then hits Abyss with the belt and kicks his ass.  Abyss fights back and drops RVD with a big boot.  Abyss chokeslams RVD and goes for the board.  Mick Foley comes out to the ramp.  Tommy Dreamer, Richards, Raven, and Rhino jump the guardrail and attack Abyss.  Security comes out and gets their asses kicked.  Doug Williams, Brutus Magnus, and Kazuchika Okada come out and get their asses kicked.  Same for more security.  Same for Desmond Wolfe, Brian Kendrick, D’Lo Brown, and Terry Taylor.  Pat Kenney and Al Snow come out and join the ECW guys.  Jay Lethal, Eric Young, Matt Morgan, and The Pope join the fray.  Brother Devon comes out and joins the invaders.  Jeff Jarrett comes out to try to get shit under control.  Dixie Carter is in the crowd.  More security and cops come out.  Dixie orders everyone to stop.  She says that she invited them.  Everyone is like WTF?  So am I.  End show.  Double WTF?  What the hell is going on here?

Lame, confusing show, but the Beer Money/Guns match was good.

TNA Victory Road 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

Opening video package.  Victory Road!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Ultimate X or Submission Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Doug Williams (c) vs. Brian Kendrick.  Williams immediately tries to climb the Ultimate X structure.  Kendrick tries to cut him off, but fails.  Williams gives it up and tries to work over Kendrick instead.  Kendrick retaliates.  Williams hits a suplex into a Muta Lock.  Sweet.  Williams goes for his tornado DDT, but Kendrick avoids it and hits a missile dropkick, then goes for his scissored cobra clutch.  Williams avoids that and locks on a headscissors.  Kendrick counters out and lands some crossface blows.  Williams drops back in a way that appears to hurt Kendrick’s leg.  Williams locks in a Widow’s Peak-style hold.  Kendrick escapes and hits a flurry of offense.  He tries his hold again, but Williams counters it again.  Kendrick backdrops Williams to the floor.  Kendrick locks in his hold in the tree of woe, then tries to climb the structure.  Williams hits a backdrop suplex off the top rope.  They do some counter wrestling and Kendrick goes for the Cobra Clutch again.  They go to the ramp, then to the floor.  They fight on the structure and Kendrick takes a bump to the floor.  Williams pulls some gloves out of his tights and slaps Kendrick with them.  Kendrick is playing unconscious.  Williams puts on the gloves and climbs the structure.  Kendrick makes his way up and tries to lock his hold on Kendrick, but they both crash to the mat.  Williams locks in a necktie hold.  The referee checks Kendrick’s arm 3 times and stops it in 10:04.  Okay match.  Nothing special, though.  Referees revive Kendrick with smelling salts.

Tenay and Taz talk about what’s going down TONIGHT!

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Ray.  He says Jesse Neal is a failure just like Christy’s Playboy.

Team 3D/Jesse Neal love triangle video package.

Three-Way Match: Brother Ray vs. Jesse Neal vs. Brother Devon.  Ray hides behind part of the set and jumps Neal from behind on the ramp.  Devon doesn’t come out because Bubba locked him in the dressing room.  So there’s a fucking camera man shooting this shit that won’t open the fucking door?  Neal fights back against Bubba, but gets killed with a clothesline.  Bubba beats up Neal.  So there’s a backstage area FULL OF FUCKING PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT DEVON IS LOCKED IN THE LOCKER ROOM, AND NOBODY WILL LET HIM HIM OUT?  Neal fights back, but gets back body dropped.  Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Stevie Richards, and Raven come in through the crowd to take their usual seats.  Crowd chants “ECW!”  Bubba gets distracted.  Neal hits the spear for 2.  Neal grounds and pounds Bubba.  Bubba drops Neal again and brings in a chair.  Shannon Moore runs out and distracts the referee so Bubba can kill his partner with the chair.  Devon finally comes out and HE IS PISSED.  He and Bubba face off, then turn to look at Jesse.  Devon attacks Bubba instead.  Neal accidentally spears Devon.  Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb on Neal for the pin in 5:57.  This was lame.

Madison Rayne/Angelina Love hype video.  Knockouts Tale of the Tape.

TNA Knockouts Championship vs. Career Match: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Angelina Love.  Love wins the title if the Beautiful People interfere.  They trade kicks and forearms and hair pulls.  Love spears Rayne, then chases her around the ring.  Love clotheslines Rayne on the outside.  Inside, cover gets 2.  Love hits another spear for 2.  Rayne gets the advantage and works Love over.  Rayne hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Rayne does the headscissors mat hump.  Rayne goes for her move, but Love counters and hits a clothesline.  Love hits a jawbreaker and some more weak clotheslines.  Rayne hits a knee facebuster or something, then runs So Cal Val out of her chair and brings the chair in.  Love superkicks the chair in to Rayne’s face.  Somebody rides in on a motorcycle.  Rayne throws Love outside and the motorcycle chick (completely covered) sends Love into the post.  The referee tries to determine if she is one of the Beautiful People, but she throws him down.  The referee awards Angelina the title by DQ in 4:41, assuming that it’s one of the BPs.  Rayne is pissed.  This was stupid and the match sucked.  Rayne leaves on the motorcycle with the other chick.  Love celebrates the title.

Christy Hemme interviews Mr. Anderson.  Typical stuff.

AJ Styles & Kazarian vs. TNA Global Champion Rob Terry & Samoa Joe.  Terry & Joe are the mystery team set up by Ric Flair to face Styles & Kazarian.  Styles tags in Kazarian before any contact is made.  Terry palms Kazarian’s head, then drops him with a shoulder block.  Kazarian bails and gets his ass kicked by Joe.  Joe drops Styles with a kick for good measure, then throws Kazarian back into the ring.  Joe tags in and beats up Kazarian some more.  “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU!” chants.  Kazarian tries a cross body, but Joe just walks away and tags in Terry.  Kazarian tags in Styles, who looks timid.  Styles does some footwork and tries to throw a punch, but Terry throws him outside, then throws Kazarian out too.  Joe hits a elbow suicida on Styles and Kazarian.  Joe mauls Styles some more back in the ring.  Terry tags in, but the ref doesn’t see it.  Kazarian gets a cheap shot on to give the heels the advantage.  Kazarian hits a slingshot DDT for 2.  Styles and Kazarian finally realize they have to work together.  They get the heat on Joe.  Styles goes for the Styles Clash, but Joe kicks him in the head.  Styles lands the Pele kick, then Joe hits the STO out of the corner.  Terry gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Terry throws Styles and Kazarian around.  Terry hits a suplex into a powerslam on Styles, but Kazarian saves.  Joe comes in and chops the shot out of Kazarian.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster.  Desmond Wolfe runs down and pulls Joe out of the ring.  Kazarian hits Joe with a double axe handle off the apron.  Wolfe gets in the ring and gets nailed by a clothesline from Terry.  Styles and Kazarian work over Terry.  Styles hits the springboard 450 splash on Terry for the pin in 8:09.  Fun little match.  Best thing on the show so far.  Wolfe shakes hands with Styles and Kazarian, who quickly leave when they see Joe slip into the ring.  Joe KILLS Wolfe with the Muscle Buster.

Christy Hemme interviews Abyss.  He says the nail board is his girlfriend.  He talks about “they.”

Tenay and Taz talk about the lead up to the Hernandez/Matt Morgan Steel Cage Match.

Hernandez/Matt Morgan hype video.  You can briefly hear Borash doing his live event spiel about letting fans backstage.

Steel Cage Match: Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez.  Morgan goes for the door immediately, but Hernandez kicks his ass and throws him into the cage.  Morgan avoids a charge and Hernandez hits the cage.  Morgan throws him into the cage a bunch.  Morgan tries to leave again, but Hernandez grabs his leg and gets stomped.  Morgan does the revolving elbows in the corner.  Hernandez fights back and flips to the top rope, but Morgan hits him with the Carbon Footprint.  Morgan puts the boots to Hernandez, then teases that he’s going to climb out of the cage.  He goes out the door instead.  He puts one foot on the ramp and one on the apron, then stupidly decides to go back in and beat up Hernandez before.  Hernandez is bloody.  Hernandez makes his comeback.  Hernandez tries to set up the Border Toss, but fails because Morgan is too big.  Repeat.  Hernandez climbs to the top of the cage and goes for a splash, but Morgan moves.  Hernandez crashes and burns.  “TNA!” chants.  Morgan gets a pair of handcuffs from somewhere.  He cuffs Hernandez to the top rope and climbs over the top of the cage.  Hernandez breaks the cuffs and hits a tope suicida on the cage door to bust through it and win in 10:44.  Okay match.  Nothing special.  That seems to be the case for most of this show.

Christy Hemme interviews Ric Flair.

Tenay and Taz talk about the Flair/Lethal match.

Ric Flair/Jay Lethal video package.

Jay Lethal vs. Ric Flair.  “LET’S GO LETHAL!” chants.  They lock up.  Lethal grabs a side headlock and scores a knockdown.  They lock up again.  Lethal scores a dropkick, a chop, and a back body drop, then clotheslines Flair out of the ring.  We get a shot of some stupid fan yelling at Flair.  Flair tries to suplex Lethal out of the ring from the apron, but Lethal suplexes Flair in and lands a basement dropkick for 2.  Lethal lands a missile dropkick for 2.  Flair lands some chops.  Lethal responds in kind.  Flair throws some wild punches and does the flop, then gets in a cheap shot and goes up top.  Lethal cuts him off and hits a superplex.  Lethal goes for a moonsault, but Flair avoids it.  Flair works Lethal’s leg.  Dueling chants.  Ugh.  Flair locks in the figure-four leglock and uses the ropes for leverage behind referee Earl Hebner’s back.  Hebner catches him and makes him break.  They get into a shoving match.  Lethal schoolboys Flair for 2.  Lethal keeps selling the leg.  Lethal makes his comeback.  Taz gets in a Great Muta reference when Lethal hits the handspring elbow smash.  Lethal does for the Flair flip in the corner and struts on the apron, then goes for a sunset flip and pulls Flair’s trunks down to reveal his old, white ass.  Flair locks in a sleeper hold.  Lethal sends Flair into the turnbuckle to escape, then hits a rebound cross body.  Lethal hits a Vader Bomb to Flair’s legs.  Lethal goes to work on the leg and locks in the figure-four leglock for the submission win in 12:05.  Fun little match.  Lethal is emotional over the win.  Flair gets up and talks shit.  Hebner shoves Flair down and raises Lethal’s hand.  Lethal says “Hey mom, I did it!”

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Hardy.

Tag Lines.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money vs. The Motor City Machine Guns.  Shelley and Storm start.  Usual goodness there.  Shelley sends Roode into a shot from Sabin.  Sabin tags in.  Guns use teamwork against Beer Money and send them both outside.  Roode gets double teamed some more in the ring.  Storm tags in and gets the advantage on Shelley briefly.  While the referee is distracted, Roode pulls Shelley’s balls into the post.  Beer Money work over Shelley.  Double suplex.  BEER!  MONEY!  The crowd adds “SUCKS!”  Roode hits a gutbuster on Shelley for 2.  Shelley continues to play face in peril.  Shelley fights back and makes the hot tag to Sabin.  Sabin runs wild and plants Roode with a tornado DDT for 2.  Storm goes to break the cover and accidentally elbow drops his partner.  Sabin NAILS Storm with a head kick from the apron, then hits a springboard lariat on Roode for 2.  Guns double team Roode.  Shelley hits an Asai DDT on Roode, but Storm saves.  Storm hits a Stun Gun on Shelley.  Sabin fights both of Beer Money.  Frankensteiner on Storm.  Sabin goes for a diving rana on Roode, but gets countered.  Storm hits the Eye of the Storm on Sabin.  Beer Money hit a catapult into a reverse lung blower on Shelley for 2.  I love Beer Money’s double team moves.  Beer Money go for the DWI, but get countered.  Storm clotheslines both Guns.  Sabin hits a dive to the outside on Storm.  My video freezes.  WTF?  The audio comes back on, but the image is still frozen.  Ah, finally.  Crowd is chanting “THIS IS AWESOME!”  I wish I knew why.  Guns double team Roode.  Storm strips Shelley and tries to spit beer at Sabin, but accidentally hits the referee.  Guns hit the neckbreaker/frog splash combo.  Shelley covers Storm.  Earl Hebner comes in to count 2.  Guns double team Roode some more.  Sabin hits a tope suicida on Storm.  Shelley hits a diving cross body on Roode, but Roode rolls through for 2.  Crowd chants “MOTOR CITY!”  Roode and Shelley trade shots.  Sabin comes back in and Guns land a double superkick.  Storm comes in and schoolboys Shelley at the same time Sabin covers Roode.  The 2 Hebners count separate pins in 15:20.  The Hebners argue and decide that the match MUST CONTINUE!  Beer Money jump the Guns.  The Guns come back and hit the neckbreaker/frog splash on Roode.  Shelley pins Roode in 17:27 (timing may be wrong, will check it later).  The Guns are finally champs!  Really good match from what I saw, which was everything except for the minute or so the stupid video froze.

Kurt Angle/D’Angelo Dinero video package.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up and wrestle.  It’s amazing how something so simple is so great.  Pope hits a couple of hip tosses and drops Angle with a shoulder block.  Angle is sent outside.  Pope politely holds the ropes open for him to get back in.  Angle powerbombs Pope into the corner.  Angle hits a knee lift for two 1 counts.  Angle hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Pope locks in a sleeper.  Angle reverses it.  Pope backdrop suplexes him.  Pope hits some Bionic elbows.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Pope hits the rolling Germans on Angle.  That’s not a typo.  Pope hits an STO for 2.  Angle avoids the Elijah Express and hits the rolling Germans himself for 2.  Pope does the “slide over the guy in 619 position” deal, then goes up top.  Angle hits a belly to belly off the top rope for 2.  Pope avoids Angle in the corner and Angle spears the post.  Pope hits a Codebreaker for 2.  Angle hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Pope gets a front cradle for 2.  Angle goes for a sunset flip, but Pope drops down for 2.  Angle gets the ankle lock again for the win in 12:06.  Good match.  They hug.  Aww, that’s sweet!

Christy Hemme interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam.

Tale of the Tape for the main event.

Four-Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Ken Anderson vs. Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy.  “WE ARE ASSHOLE!” chants.  Abyss stands outside the ring during the intros, then all 3 babyfaces attack him.  Abyss bails to the outside.  Hardy uses RVD as a springboard to take out Abyss with a dive.  Anderson schoolboys RVD for 2.  RVD and Anderson go at it.  Abyss trips RVD and pulls him outside, then throws him into the barricade.  Hardy and Anderson beat up Abyss.  Abyss goozles them both, but they break free and hit him with a double shoulder block.  Hardy and Anderson continue to double team Abyss.  They set up the Poetry In Motion, but Anderson hits Hardy with a cross body for 2, as RVD saves.  Hardy hits RVD with a kick, then hits a front suplex for 2.  RVD punches Hardy, then hits Abyss with a dive to the outside.  Abyss gets up and gets hit with another dive from Hardy.  Anderson hits Abyss with a double axe handle from the top rope to the outside.  RVD and Anderson come back inside.  RVD hits the split legged moonsault to Anderson’s back.  Hardy saves.  RVD and Hardy trade punches.  RVD catches Hardy with a spin kick.  RVD beats up Anderson.  RVD goes up top, but Anderson crotches him and goes for a superplex.  Hardy climbs up to help, but Abyss cuts them off and turns it into the tower of doom.  “TNA!” chants.  Abyss goozles RVD, but gets kicked in the head.  RVD avoids Abyss in the corner, rocks him with another kick, and hits the springboard kick.  RVD kicks everybody and hits the diving kick on Abyss.  RVD goes up top again, but Anderson pushes him off and into the stage.  “LET’S GO ASSHOLES!” chant.  Hardy hammers Abyss.  Whisper In The Wind, but Anderson saves.  Anderson hits the Mic Check on Abyss, but Hardy saves.  Abyss counters the Twist of Fate and hits the Black Hole Slam on Hardy, but Anderson pulls the referee out of the ring.  Hardy sends Abyss outside.  Anderson comes back in.  RVD is still KTFO’d on the outside.  Anderson and Hardy go at it.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate.  Anderson goes for the Lambeau Leap.  Hardy finally hits the Twist of Fate and goes up top.  Swanton Bomb.  Abyss chokeslams Hardy onto Anderson and covers both.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on the pile.  RVD pins Anderson to keep the title in 12:28.  Fun clusterfuck.  Abyss nails RVD from behind.  Abyss brings in the nail board.  RVD avoids the shot and Abyss tears up the canvas.

Hard Justice hype video.

Part of this show were really mediocre, but there was some good stuff and overall the show wasn’t really bad.

TNA iMPACT! 7/8/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

Usual opening video package, highlighting Mr. Anderson.

“Friends Til The End?”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Ken Anderson comes to the ring with a steel chair.  He introduces Jeff Hardy.  Anderson tells Hardy the chair shot last week wasn’t on purpose.  He says if he had done it on purpose, he’d admit it, because he’s an asshole.  He says they have a match tonight and he’s going to bring the chair, and if either of them use it, they have a problem.  Anderson leaves.

AJ Styles talks to someone about his issues with Ric Flair and Kazarian.  Commercials.

Victory Road hype video.

Jeff Hardy speaks for like 10 seconds about the chair shot.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles.  Styles is all business tonight and goes on the attack immediately.  They trade some sweet arm drags, then punch each other.  Kazarian wails on Styles.  Styles pokes Kazarian in the eye and puts the boots to him.  Kazarian hits a monkey flip and a hard looking dropkick for 2.  Kazarian cranks on a rear chin lock.  Ric Flair comes out.  Styles fights out of Kazarian’s hold and does the leap frog, drop down, dropkick.  Flair has sat down in a chair on the ramp.  Styles hits a backbreaker for 2.  Styles cranks on a rear chin lock himself.  They counter each other’s finish.  Styles hits the fireman’s carry backbreaker for 2.  Kazarian counters the suplex neckbreaker and hits his slingshot leg drop for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Flux Capacitor, but Styles fights him off and goes for a springboard.  Kazarian avoids it, but eats the Pele kick.  Kazarian backdrops Styles to the apron and lands a kick to the middle.  Kazarian slingshots outside and kind of DDTs Styles on the apron.  It’s a double count-out in 6:02.  Really good little match until the schmoz finish.  They keep fighting, but Flair gets in the ring and orders them to make peace.  Flair tells them they’re going to be a tag team at Victory Road and they had better win.

We see a lovely shot of Angelina Love’s naked back.  I’d much rather see her naked front.  Commercials.

Daffney vs. Angelina Love.  Daffney is back from injury.  I forgot she worked here.  They lock up.  Love wrings Daffney’s arm.  Love beats up Daffney.  Daffney stumbles around and gets knocked down with a horrible karate chop.  Daffney escapes from a rear chin lock via jawbreaker.  Love hits a couple of World’s Strongest Slams, then a Flatliner for the pin in 2:02.  This was pretty bad, but thankfully it was kept short.  Love says she’ll become the first ever 4 time Knockouts Champion at Victory Road.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne comes out and challenges Love to put her career on the line at Victory Road.  Love agrees, but says she’s already talked to the championship committee, and they have agreed that if Velvet Sky or Lacey Von Erich interfere, she will win the title by DQ.

Tonight, RVD vs. Samoa Joe for the first time ever!  It probably is, but I’m not sure.

Brother Devon is backstage blowing off people who question him.  Commercials.

Team 3D/Jesse Neal video package.

Brother Devon and Inc Ink. are in the ring.  Devon calls out Brother Ray.  Ray comes out to stand on the ramp while Devon lectures him about what a great kid Jesse Neal is.  Brother Ray questions Devon’s loyalty and says he made Devon what he is today.  Devon says he’s loyal to both of them, he’s not picking sides.  Ray says at Victory Road it’s going to be Ray vs. Neal vs. Devon.  Commercials.

Non-Title: Samoa Joe vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam.  They lock up, then trade forearms and punches.  RVD drops Joe with the float over kick.  RVD goes up top, but Joe cuts him off and goes for the Muscle Buster.  Joe ends up pushing RVD off the top rope and into the stage.  Joe throws RVD back into the ring.  RVD lands a kick on Joe before he can get back in.  Joe avoids a baseball slide dropkick and connects with a tope suicida.  Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Raven, and Stevie Richards show up in the crowd as usual.  Back inside, Joe covers RVD for 2.  RVD ducks a kick and gets a schoolboy for 2.  RVD lands a kick.  RVD puts the boots to Joe in the corner and lands a flip dropkick.  RVD hits an apron leg drop.  They cut repeatedly to the ECW guys in the crowd.  RVD covers for 2 while Tenay and Taz argue.  Joe and RVD trade punches.  Joe hits the snap powerslam for 2.  Joe applies a facelock on RVD.  RVD fights out and makes a comeback until Joe decapitates him with a lariat for 2.  RVD hits the springboard kick for 2.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  RVD hits the springboard kick again for another 2.  RVD hits a roundhouse kick in the corner, the gets NAILED with another lariat.  Joe takes RVD down with an STO and hits a powerbomb into a half crab.  RVD gets a rope break.  RVD lands some shots.  Joe replies with headbutts.  RVD gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Joe turns it into the Coquina Clutch.  RVD flips off the turnbuckles and lands on top of Joe ala Bret/Piper at WrestleMania VIII to get the pin in 10:41.  Terrific match, and I LOVE that finish.  This was Joe’s best match in a long time.  Joe argues with the referee (apparently his shoulders weren’t down).  Joe slaps the ref and gives him the Muscle Buster!

Kurt Angle talks backstage.  He says Jeff Hardy shouldn’t trust Mr. Anderson.  Commercials.

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Non-Title Ladder Match: Jeremy Buck vs. TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams.  Why are they doing a ladder match to build an Ultimate X Match?  The gimmick apparently is that Williams is afraid of heights.  Williams drops Buck with a shoulder block.  Buck leap frogs Williams and nails an elbow smash and a springboard cross body.  Williams steps out of the ring to avoid buck and hits get with a moonsault.  Buck sets the ladder up, but Williams gets back in and cuts him off.  Williams ties Buck to the tree of woe and tries to climb the ladder, but he’s scared.  Buck hits him with a dropkick and climbs the ladder.  Williams cuts him off and nails him with a European uppercut.  Williams whips Buck into the ladder, then runs at him, but Buck moves and Williams knees the ladder.  Buck catapults Williams into the ladder.  Buck dropkicks the ladder into Williams and hits a springboard facebuster into the ladder.  Ouch!  Buck tries to climb the ladder, but Williams follows and hits and electric chair drop off of the ladder.  Williams climbs the ladder slowly.  Buck springboards to the ladder and hits a sunset flip powerbomb OFF OF THE LADDER!  Williams tries to springboard to the ladder, but Buck catches him with a kick and takes down the big red X for the win in 4:32.  The champion jobs to a jobber?  Typical TNA illogicality, but a fine little match.  Williams beats up the ladder.  I LOL’d.  Commercials.

Highlights of TNA’s house show in Brooklyn last Friday, which was their biggest domestic house show ever.

Hilarious PSA-type video of the Motor City Machine Guns making fun of Beer Money.

Beer Money & Matt Morgan vs. The Motor City Machine Guns & Hernandez.  Sabin and Roode start.  Roode works Sabin’s arm.  Sabin does flippy stuff, then gets punched in the face.  Sabin hits a dropkick and a diving rana.  Sabin hits a flying forearm for 2.  Shelley tags in.  Guns double team Roode for 2.  Storm tags in.  Beer Money try to double team Shelley, but fail.  Sabin tags in and goes at it with Storm.  Morgan nails Sabin with a big boot to knock him off the apron.  Roode throws him back in.  The bad guys get heat on Sabin.  Sabin fights back against Storm, but gets cut off quickly.  Shelley makes the save when Storm covers.  Roode comes in after a fake tag and chokes Sabin.  Roode whips Sabin into the corner for 2.  Sabin drops Roode with a kick and makes the tag to Hernandez.  Super Mex runs wild on Beer Money.  Morgan runs away, not wanting any of Hernandez.  Hernandez pounces Roode, then tags in Shelley.  Hernandez and Shelley double team Roode in awesome ways.  Shelley goes for the Shiranui, but Storm prevents it.  Hernandez hits a springboard double clothesline on Beer Money, then chases after Morgan.  Guns double team Roode.  Storm tries to spit beer, but Sabin kicks him, then lands a suicide dive.  Shelley hits a diving cross body on Roode, but Roode rolls through and gets the pin in 5:53.  Really good little trios match.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks about not trusting Mr. Anderson.

Tonight, Hardy vs. Anderson!  Commercials!

Victory Road hype video.

Kevin Nash complains to no one in particular about Eric Bischoff.  Hulk Hogan comes in.  They talk briefly, then Hogan leaves.

Jay Lethal is in the ring.  He cuts a promo on Ric Flair and talks about his sick mother.  Flair comes out and talks shit about Lethal’s mom and talks about how great he is in bed.  Classic Flair stuff.  Flair talks about how great he is, then struts around the ring.  Great segment.  Commercials.

They show Mr. Anderson’s errant chair shot from last week, then hype the Victory Road card.

Ken Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy.  They shake hands and lock up.  Hardy works Anderson’s arm.  Hardy hits a shoulder block.  They counter hip tosses, then Anderson goes for the Lambeau Leap but gets countered.  Anderson hits a neckbreaker for 1.  Hardy hits a jawbreaker.  Anderson avoids a dropkick in the corner.  Cover gets 2.  Hardy hits a clothesline for 2.  Hardy whiffs the Whisper In The Wind for 2.  Actually, Anderson might have taken a solid shot to the face.  Anderson counters the Twist of Fate and hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  Anderson goes for the Kenton bomb, but Hardy avoids it and hits the Twist of Fate for the pin in 3:33.  Fine little match for the time they had.  They look to be friends again now.  Abyss comes out with his nail board.  He points at them and says “You!”  The referee takes the nail board away.  Hardy and Anderson attack Abyss, but he drops the both.  Abyss chokeslams Hardy and mows down Anderson with a big boot.  Abyss swings the board at Anderson, but Anderson ducks and Abyss takes off the turnbuckle pad with it.  RVD runs in and tries to fight off Abyss, but Abyss throws him out of the ring.  Anderson teases hitting Hardy with a chair, then tells him to move and hits Abyss with it.  RVD takes the chair away and hits the MOTHERFUCKING VAN DAMINATOR!  They babyfaces stand tall, so I’m assuming Abyss is winning on Sunday.  Abyss wakes up.  Fade to black.  Great build for the PPV main event.

Man this was a good show.  Best Impact in a LONG time.  Why are shows this good so rare?