Archive for Unified WWE Tag Team Championship

WWE Monday Night Raw 6/22/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then the “this stuff happened last week” video.  New Raw open, featuring Donald Trump.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Trump Raw, LIVE and commercial free from Green Bay, Wisconsin!  Tonight, Triple H vs. Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship!

Lillian Garcia introduces Donald Trump, who comes out escorted by either Kelly Kelly or some other generic blond bimbo.  He plays a total babyface, talking about how Vince is a taker, but he is a giver.  He says he’s going to refund everyone’s ticket money.  I could rant here, but I digress…

John Cena comes out and basically repeats what Trump just said, but adds that he has a match with Big Show tonight.  They show a video package of The Miz making fun of Cena recently, then Cena calls him out.  Miz calls him a coward from the stage.  Cena challenges him to come to the ring and say that, so Miz does.  Cena vs. Miz is made for the Bash.  Cena talks about all the stuff he’s been through and he’s never been rattled.  Cena completely tears him down.  I hope he doesn’t job him out that bad at the PPV.  Miz cheap shots Cena and runs away.

Earlier today: Vince McMahon’s limo broke down.  Vince tries to make the driver give him a piggy back ride to the arena (a short walk from where they were standing).  Funny segment.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham are at the commentary with Kentucky Grilled Chicken.  Tonight is Mr. McMahon’s farwell address.  Now, we have a Smackdown match!

Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio Jr., & Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Edge, WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, & Dolph Ziggler.  World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk comes down to do commentary.  Khali destroys Ziggler, who quickly tags Jericho.  Khali throws the heel team out of the ring.  Jeff takes them all out with a cannonball dive, then Mysterio dives off of Khali’s shoulders onto them.  Khali heads up top, but Jericho attacks him.  23 minutes until the Last Man Standing Match!  Mysterio tags in against Jericho.  He goes for the 619, but Edge prevents it.  Jericho drops him with a lariat.  Rey plays face in peril for a minute or so, then makes the hot tag to Hardy.  Hardy hits the front suplex on Ziggler, then Edge spears him.  Khali goes for the choke bomb, but Jericho prevents it.  Jericho hits a half assed Codebreaker.  Mysterio hits a double 619 on Edge and Jericho, then an Asai moonsault on Jericho.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb on Ziggler for the win at 5:11.  Punk comes in and raises Jeff’s hand.  Jeff, the poor sport he is, gets pissed and leaves.

Vince tries to go into Trump’s locker room, but it’s locked.  Santina Marella introduces his/her/itself to him.  Funny segment.  Trump comes out.  Vince is mad Trump took his office.  Trump says Vince’s office is down the hall.  Trump fires Santina.  She runs away as Santino steps into frame.  He is initially upset, but gets over it.  Clever.

The Colons come out and make fun of Ted Dibiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes and say they’ll beat them at The Bash.

Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Primo Colon (w/ Carlito) vs. Cody Rhodes (w/ Ted Dibiase Jr.).  They trade armlocks, then Rhodes kicks Primo’s ass.  Primo makes a comeback.  Jackknife hold gets 2.  Rhodes hits a Russian leg sweep for 2.  Primo gets an inside cradle for 2.  Primo hits a diving cross body, but Rhodes rolls through and pulls the tights for the pin at 3:54.

Vince finds Goldust and Hornswoggle and the locker room.  Goldust reminds Vince that Horny was once his bastard son.  Goldust puts his wig on Vince.  Vince yells at him, then finds his office: a toilet, which Festus was using.

Triple H/Orton video package.  I’m so sick of these two.

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H. They fight.  I’m bored.  Orton attacks Triple H’s knee.  Orton nails him with the ring steps, then keeps working the knee.  Orton tries to use a chair, but Triple H kicks it into his face.  Orton nails him in the head with the chair.  Triple H makes it up at 8.  Orton tries to set up something on the announce table, but Triple H hits him with a low blow.  Triple H sets up the Pedigree, but Orton counters and drops him with the RKO on top of the table.  Triple H makes to his feet at 9, then backdrops Orton on the table.  They both make it up at 8.  Triple H nails Orton with a monitor.  They fight up the ramp.  Spinebuster on the ramp by HHH.  Ouch.  Orton makes it up at 9.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton backdrops him out of it.  Hunter miraculously makes it to h is feet.  They’re down off the ramp now.  HHH counters an RKO attempt and pushes Orton over the barricade.  Up again.  Triple H goes for Orton with a ladder.  Orton ducks and and some poor bystander gets murdered.  HHH falls and knocks over another production guy too.  Orton grabs the ladder.  They’re on the stage now.  Orton hits HHH’s injured leg with the ladder, then nails him in the face, then Pillmanizes the leg with it.  Orton tells the ref to stop the count so he can punish Triple H some more.  Orton sets up the ladder.  Orton goes for an RKO off the ladder.  Triple H counters and hits him with the ladder.  Pedigree on the stage.  Triple H can’t make it to his feet because of the bad knee, so it’s a draw at 20:03.  Weak.  Orton retains.  Triple H gets another lick in after the match.  This whole thing was fucking lame.

Punk/Hardy Bash hype.

Another Miz/Maryse segment.

This Friday on Smackdown, Hardy & Mysterio vs. Edge & Jericho in a Steel Cage Match!

Trump comes out again, this time escorted by Maria and Eve.  Trump says instead of a General Manager, he’s going to appoint a celebrity host every week.  He says something about WrestleMania XXVI, then Vince comes out.  Trump wants to make Raw free and with no commercials every week.  Ricockulous.  Vince wants to buy back Raw.  Trump says no.  Vince keeps offering more money, but Trump keeps shooting him down.  Trump finally agrees with Vince offers him double what he paid.  Vince fires Trump, then Trump slaps him.  This whole fucking angle was pointless.

Clips of the Cena/Show feud, which I’m every bit as sick of as I am Triple H vs. Orton.

Vince tells Dibiase and Rhodes to leave, then tells Orton he’s facing Triple H at the Bash in a 3 Stages of Hell 2/3 Falls Match (Regular match, Falls Count Anywhere match, and Stretcher match).

This Thursday on Superstars: Kofi Kingston defends the United States Championship against MVP and Matt Hardy in a Triple Threat Match.

Mickie James & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Beth Phoenix, & Rosa Mendez.  Heels get heat on one of the Bellas.  Hot tag to Mickie, who hits a neckbreaker on Rosa.  Beth saves.  Bellas dropkick her.  Maryse distracts Mickie and Rosa tries to hit her from behind, but Mickie nails her with a superkick for the pin at 5:06.

Clips of Cena and a Cubs game.

Cole and Lawler are in the ring to run down the Bash card.

The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena hits Show with a shoulder block that sends him out of the ring.  Show hot shots Cena into the barricade.  Back in the ring, Show spears him.  I love the Show spear.  Show works Cena over.  Cena fights back with… a headlock.  Show backdrops him.  I cringe.  Cover gets 2.  Show keeps killing him.  Cena makes a comeback and bitches the diving Fameasser, then hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show gets the chokeslam out of nowhere, but Cena kicks out.  Boo.  Show’s Vader Bomb gets 2.  Cena avoids the camel clutch and locks in the STF with no problem, even though they just had a long boring PPV match based on the fact that Cena couldn’t put it on Show.  Miz runs down.  Cena decks him.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Miz pushes them down and Show gets the pin at 10:25.  Miz poses over Cena.

Triple H jumps Orton in the parking lot and slams the trunk of Orton’s car on his back.  Triple H tells Orton he’s going to hell this Sunday.  Fin.  And thank God.  This show sucked.

WWE Monday Night Raw 6/15/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then cut to Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler telling us that Mr. McMahon will be here tonight.  Replay of the Legacy beatdown and destruction of Batista’s arm last week, then Triple H’s return and yet another burial of Randy Orton.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Charlotte, North Carolina!  Matt Striker and Josh Matthews from ECW and Jim Ross and Todd Grisham from Smackdown are there too.  Justin Roberts introduces the first match, for the Intercontinental Championship!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Jericho cuts his usual promo before the match.  Mysterio looks pissed.  I hope the belt doesn’t change, because I fucked up starting the timer.  Mysterio owns Jericho to start.  Mysterio crashes on the outside.  Commercials.  Jericho works over Mysterio and hits that swank spinning backbreaker drop from the PPV, then goes for the mask again.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Jericho.  Mysterio hits the flying headscissors, then the Bombs Away for 2.  Jericho gets dropkicked out of the ring, they Rey hits a tope suicida.  Back inside, Jericho goes for a superplex, but Mysterio turns it into a sunset flip powerbomb for a slow 2 count.  Rey goes for his flip bulldog, but Jericho squashes him and gets 2.  Rey avoids the Walls.  Jericho avoids the 619 and thinks of going for one himself.  Rey catches him with a moonsault for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the West Coast Pop.  Jericho rips the mask and NAILS the Codebreaker for 3 at about 9 minutes.  Good match, a short, compact version of their recent PPV matches.

Tonight, a Four-Way Match for the vacant WWE Championship!  Mr. McMahon is NEXT!

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton.  John Cena steps in and takes over the interview.  Cena reminds Orton that he and Big Show are in the Four-Way tonight too, so don’t get too focused on Triple H.

Last week: Vickie Guerrero quit as Raw GM.

Vince McMahon appears on screen.  He says he’s not going to announce a new GM, because he sold Monday Night Raw!  He’ll announce who the new owner is after the WWE Championship match.

Moments ago: What I just wrote.  Cole and Lawler are SHOCKED.

ECW Championship Match: Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Christian.  They start.  Christian hits a swank elbow shot from the middle rope.  Dreamer fires up with punches, then face plants Christian.  Dreamer hits a reverse DDT, then NAILS Christian with a lariat for 2.  Dreamer squashes a sunset flip attempt for 2, then Christian turns the cradle over for 2.  Christian avoids the DDT.  Dreamer avoids the Killswitch and gets an inside cradle for the win at 3:24.

Tonight, CM Punk defends the World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy and Edge!  Plus, Orton vs. Triple H vs. Cena vs. Show for the WWE Championship is NEXT!

Please, don’t try this at home!

The Bella Twins and Kelly Kelly have some airheaded speculation about who bought Raw.

ANOTHER replay of the shit from last week.  Do we really need to see it again?  Pics of Batista’s surgery.  Gross.

Fatal Four-Way Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena vs. Triple H.  Entrances, intros, and the going feuds pair off.  40 seconds in, we go to commercial.  Back, Cena and Triple H take out the heels, then go at it themselves.  Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Triple H hits the spinebuster.  Pedigree counter into an F-U attempt, but Show comes in and clotheslines them both.  Goes back to Cena vs. Show and HHH vs. Orton.  Orton comes in to break a Show’s cover.  Show goes for a double chokeslam on Triple H and Cena, but they suplex him.  Orton tries to put Show, but Show catches his foot, then kicks his ass.  Show dominates for a bit and tosses Orton and HHH from the ring.  Show slams Cena and hits the Vader Bomb, but Orton breaks the cover.  Show tosses Orton out of the ring again.  Show spears the shit out of Triple H for 2.  Triple H avoids the Vader Bomb.  Orton tries to RKO Show, but gets tossed away.  Pedigree to Show.  Attitude Adjustment to Triple H.  Cena covers Triple H, but gets tossed off the cover.  Attutude Adjustment to Show.  Orton brekas the cover and tosses Cean out.  Orton RKOs Show for the win at 11:14.  Lame at first, but the closing stretch was good.  Orton is champ again.  What was the fucking point of Batista winning the belt in the first place?

Mr. McMahon is headed our way!

Tomorrow night on ECW: Evan Bourne vs. Mark Henry!

Vince comes down and announces that Donald Trump is the new owner of Raw.  Trump appears on the big screen and says next week’s Raw will be commercial free, and he’ll be there to oversee it.  Vince says that he’s still in charge tonight, and there will be a 10 man battle royal to determine who will face Randy Orton for the title at The Bash.

World Title match is next!

Replay of what just happened.  Cole and Lawler discuss it.

Mickie James vs. Rosa Mendez.  Beth comes out with Rosa, but Rosa tells her to leave.  The Divas Champion Maryse comes down to watch.  Rosa shows a lot of fire, but Mickie fights back and wins with the DDT at 2:50.  Maryse teases coming in the ring, then bails.

Goldust and Hornswoggle shoot t-shirts out to the crowd.  The Miz in anti-Cena garb, says he’s the new face of Raw, he’ll win the battle royal, speak in a British accent, etc.  He tells Goldust and Hornswoggle to leave.  Goldust tells Miz he doesn’t know how to play mind games, and makes an Ahmed Johnson reference!  Goldust tells Miz his interviews are piss break segments and that he’s a loser.  Miz retorts, then cheapshots Goldust and drops him with a DDT.  He threatens Hornswoggle with the t-shirt bazooka, then shoots him in the balls with it.  Now that’s a heel, folks.  Only a true bad guy would shoot a midget in the balls with a t-shirt gun.

World Title match is NEXT!  Wasn’t it supposed to be like 20 minutes ago?

Stills from the Hardy/Edge/Punk stuff from the PPV.

Josh Matthews interviews the World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk.  Punk has “MISAWA” written on his wrist tape.  That’s a nice touch.  Matt Hardy interrupts and tells him he approves of what he did.  Punk tells Matt he’s never been World Champion.

Edge and Hardy enter for the title match.  Commercials!  Next, Donald Trump on a commercial-free Raw!

Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Edge vs. Jeff Hardy.  Within the first 90 seconds, Punk hits a tope suicida on Edge, then Hardy hits a dive outside onto both of them.  Punk and Jeff go at it in the ring for a minute, then Edge comes in and tosses Jeff out.  Edge sets up a superplex, but Jeff comes in and drops Edge, then tries to deliver it himself.  Edge sets up a Doomsday Device, but Hardy dodges Punk’s dropkick and gets a near fall on Edge with a victory roll.  Triple clothesline spot as we go to break.  Back from break, Punk works over Edge as Jeff is on the outside.  Jeff comes in, so Punk nails them both.  He covers them both after the corner bulldog/something to Jeff spot,  but both kick out.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep on Jeff, but Edge chop blocks his knee and applies the Sharpshooter.  It gets broken somehow.  Punk leapfrogs a spear and gets a sunset flip on Edge, when Hardy dropkicks Edge in to, then breaks the cover.  Jeff does some stuff and gets 2 on Punk.  Punk nails Hardy with a knee to the face.  Jeff goes up for the Swanton, but Edge pushes him off and tries to spear Punk.  Punk catches him with a powerslam for 2.  Edge avoids the Go 2 Sleep and pushes Punk into Hardy.  Punk reversed the Twist of Fate into a Go 2 Sleep attempt.  Hardy escapes and leap frogs another spear, so Edge ends up spearing the shit out of Hardy.  Punk gets knocked out of the ring by Edge and injures his knee on the steps.  Officials check on Punk as Edge and Hardy hit a double cross body on each other.  Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind, but Punk makes it in to break the cover.  Hardy kicks the shit out of Punk’s leg.  Edge gets an inside cradle on Hardy for a close 2.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb, but Punk pulls him off the cover.  Punk sends Hardy into the ring steps and covers Edge for the win at 15:40.  Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long comes out and tells Punk he’ll defend the title against Jeff Hardy at the Bash.

Earlier tonight: Orton wins the belt.  Later tonight: a 10 man battle royal!

Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr. are at ringside to do commentary on this next match.

Non-Title: The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natayla) vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito & Primo Colon.  Colons will defend against Legacy at The Bash.  Primo and Smith start.  Primo tries to do a rana and lands on his head.  Ouch.  After a minute, Carlito tags in.  Primo hits a dive to the outside on Tyson Kidd.  Carlito hits the Backstabber on Smith, then Legacy runs in to cause the DQ at 2:23.  Legacy stands tall with their new awful music.  I was expecting a good match here, but it got cut way short.

Triple H is headed our way for the 10-man battle royal!

Replay of the Trump shit again.

Santino Marella seeks assurance from Vince that he and his “sister” will still have their jobs.  Vince tells him Trump will do whatever he wants.  Vince’s cell phone rings.  It’s Donald Trump.  Trump wants to make a big announcement after the battle royal.  Santino pisses off Vince and leaves.  Vince calls him a pervert.

Most of the entries for the battle royal come out.  Break, then they show a graphic for 2 matches for Smackdown, which Ross says is wrong.  FAIL.  The last 2 entrants come out so we can have our match.  Triple H enters to his rarely used King of Kings theme, which is awesome.

Battle Royal to determine the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship:
Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Matt Hardy vs. William Regal vs. WWE United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. The Big Show vs. Triple H vs. John Cena.  Everybody brawls.  Orton comes out to watch.  Show tosses Matt for the first elimination 3 1/2 minutes in.  MVP lands the Yakuza kick on Show, then gets eliminated by him.  Show chokeslams Miz.  Everyone eliminates Show.  Miz is on the outside, but I don’t think he was eliminated.  Break.  Legacy almost dumps Triple H, but fails, thanks to Cena attacking Legacy.  Cena and Triple H ends up going at it.  Legacy stops them briefly, then the double clothesline each other.  Kofi has an impressive run against Legacy, but they eliminate him.  Regal kicks their ass, but they dump him too.  Down to Legacy, Triple H, and Cena.  Cena makes a big comeback against Legacy.  He eliminates Dibiase, then tosses Rhodes, who hangs on.  Triple H eliminates Rhodes.  Triple H Pedigrees Cena.  Legacy runs back in and beat down Triple H until the refs make them leave.  Miz sneaks back and charges them, but gets lowbridged out.  Triple H dumps Cena to win at 17:39.  Fuck, now we get to suffer another Triple H/Orton abortion.

Donald Trump appears on the screen and congratulations Triple H.  He tells him the title match won’t be at the PPV, but on next week’s commercial-free Raw in a Last Man Standing Match.  FUCK.

WWE Monday Night Raw 5/18/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE, open, Raw open, and we are joined by the WWE Champion, Randy Orton!  Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole are on commentary and we are LIVE from Louisville, Kentucky.

Orton says he was about to take out Batista last night when Ric Flair interfered and prevented it.  Actually, Orton ran like a bitch and tried everything he could to get DQ’d or counted out.  He babbles for a while, then Flair comes out to retort.  They go back and forth for a bit, then Flair tells Orton he will be defending the title against Batista in a Steel Cage match at Extreme Rules.  Orton cheap shots Flair and stomps him.  Legacy stalks their way down the ramp, but Batista charges down.  Legacy does the 3 on 1 beatdown until John Cena makes the save.  Commercial.

Todd Grisham interviews Cena, who is now perfectly fine despite the fact that he was hurt going into his match last night and took a vicious beating during said match.  Cena says he’s going for the title after Extreme Rules.  He runs into Vickie Guerrero, who makes tonight’s main event: Legacy vs. Cena & Batista.

Divas Battle Royal:
Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Rosa Mendez vs. Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James.  Divas Champion Maryse is at the table with Cole and Lawler.  Mickie dumps Rosa.  Beth dumps one Bella, then the other.  Mickie eliminates Jillian.  Kelly dropkicks Beth out of the ring to elimiate her.  Beth tries to pull Kelly out of the ring and distracts the referee so Maryse can spray perfume in Mickie’s face.  Kelly eliminates Mickie to win it at 2:32.

Tonight, MVP defends the U.S. title against Matt Hardy!  Also, Cena & Batista vs. Legacy!

WWE Rewind: The Miz/Santino confrontation from Judgment Day.  After Miz dropped Santino with a DDT, Chavo Guerrero ran down to frog splash a downed Santino.

Santino Marella vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Chavo kicks Santino’s ass and makes him look like a joke.  Santino hulks up and decks Chavo, then elbows him down and looks shocked by it.  Santino, heartened by his achievement, runs into Chavo’s feet in the corner.  Santino avoids the frog splash and picks up the win at 3:34.  Chavo tells Santino that Santina has to defend the Miss WrestleMania crown against Vickie Guerrero.

Mr. Kennedy returns… soon!

Maryse speaks French to The Miz, who doesn’t understand her.  He tries to come on to her anyway, but she blows him off.  Miz says he has something in store for Cena tonight.

Todd Grisham interviews Matt Hardy.  He cost his brother, Jeff, the World Title last night as revenge for Jeff breaking his hand.

Vickie is mad at Chavo for putting her in a match.  Orton storms in and bitches at her for putting him in a cage match.  Vickie reminds him that she is the boss.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito & Primo Colon vs. Brian Kendrick & Goldust.  That’s a delightfully random team.  Speaking of random, exactly WHY did Goldust run out on Superstars to save Hornswoggle from Big Show?  Kendrick repeatedly berates Goldust for not doing his job properly.  Fine little match.  Primo avoids The Kendrick and hits a diving cross body for the win at 2:26.  Kendrick yells at Goldust after the match, but Hornswoggle runs in to save him.  Apparently Goldust and Hornswoggle are friends now.

The Miz is headed our way in Cena apparel.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho this Thursday on Superstars!  I’ll watch that!

The Miz comes out to Cena’s old “Basic Thuganomics” theme.  He does a stupid rap.  He challenges Cena again, then declares himself 5-0 against Cena.  Lawler comes in the ring and explains to Miz that calling someone out who doesn’t come out doesn’t give him a victory.  He evidences this by calling out Batista, then calling out Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, and Steve Austin for a handicap match.  Lawler tells Miz that if he wants to face Cena, to talk to Vickie Guerrero.  Big Show comes out and says despite what Cena thinks, he’s not done with him yet.  Show announces that he’ll face Cena in a submission match at Extreme Rules (because Cena couldn’t put Show in the STF last night).  Miz insults Show and runs away.  Show shoves down Lawler, then kicks his ass just to be a dick.

Last week: MVP & Kofi Kingston beat Matt Hardy & William Regal after Hardy walked out on his partner.

Jim Ross is at the announce table with Cole now, since Lawler just got destroyed, which they show a replay of.

WWE United States Championship Match: Montel Vontavious Porter (c) vs. Matt Hardy.  They both for the quick victory with inside cradles.  MVP has the advantage early on.  Matt attacks MVP’s leg with his cast, then continues to work on the leg.  MVP gets mad and attacks the broken arm.  That’s not very babyface-like.  MVP hits the Yakuza kick and the Playmaker to retain the title at 5:16.

Santina vs. Vickie, TONIGHT!  Or is it NEXT?

Replay from the start of the show, then Batista walks into Flair’s locker room.  Flair says he’s going to call out Orton and kick his ass next week.  Batista tells Flair he doesn’t have anything to prove.  Flair gets mad and stomps out.

Chavo tries to teach Vickie how to do a frog splash.  She says the match is off.  Santina comes in and insults her, so the match is back on.

Finlay vs. D.H. Smith tomorrow night on ECW!  I’ll watch that!

Miss WrestleMania Crown Match: Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero (w/ Chavo Guerrero Jr.).  Santina takes the mic and insults Vickie, then gets slapped.  Santina kisses Vickie and is sickened by it.  The match is now No DQ.  The bell rings again, even though the match started like a minute and a half ago.  Chavo beats down Santina.  They roll around and trade punches until Santina backdrops Chavo out of the ring.  Santina stalks Vickie, but William Regal runs and hits an Exploder on Santina, allowing Vickie to get the pin and win the crown at 3:01.  Vickie celebrates her big victory.

Legacy is headed our way.  The main event is NEXT!

Handicap Match: Legacy vs. John Cena & Batista.  Orton and Cena start (I think… wasn’t really paying attention).  When Batista tags in, Orton bails, so Batista mauls Dibiase.  Cena and Batista clear the ring.  Commercial!  When we return, Legacy is getting heat on Batista.  Cena finally gets the hot tag and cleans house.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjuster on Cody, but doesn’t see him tag out to Orton in mid move.  Orton comes in and attacks Cena.  Now Cena plays face in peril.  Rhodes hits a nice moonsault on Cena for a near fall.  Cena finally makes the hot tag, and now it’s Batista’s turn to come in and clean house.  Big Show comes out, but Cena chases him off with a chair.  Batista is now all alone… but wait, Flair comes out!  This gives Batista the boost he needs to spear Orton for the pin at 14:46.

WWE Monday Night Raw 8/16/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We’re LIVE from Los Angeles!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  Last night, Team WWE survived!

The Nexus come out.  Wade Barrett says they eliminated six of the best that Raw had to offer before they lost last night.  He says the Raw roster will face severe consequences because of their loss.  John Cena interrupts.  He makes fun of Barrett for tapping out and for having a British accent, apparently.  Cena calls them the Expendables.  Cena puts over Daniel Bryan for “eliminating half of the Nexus by himself.”  Actually, I think it was 2/7ths.  Cena says it’s been proven that they can be beat.  Cena calls Otunga “a below average male escort.”  It’s true.  He calls Tarver “an MMA bank robber who works nights as a male stripper.”  He calls Slater “the chick from Wendy’s.”  A graphic shows up on the tron for that one.  He says Young is proof that Cena’s mother had a lusty affair with Buckwheat.  He implies that Gabriel is gay and Sheffield is retarded, or something.  He says The Nexus is history.  Young tries to retort, but Cena reminds him that he tapped out in under a minute, calling him the weakest link.  The Nexus start to argue amongst themselves.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  The crowd hates that shit.  iBooker says tonight, Nexus will face members of Team WWE in a series of matches, and promises “consequences” if there is any interference.  Barrett says that’s not punishment, it’s an opportunity for redemption.  Crowd chants “YOU TAPPED OUT!”  Barrett says any Nexus member who loses tonight will be exiled from the group.  Otunga tells Barrett that that applies to him too.  Cole gets ANOTHER email from the iBooker that says The Nexus can choose which Nexus member faces which Team WWE member… except for Barrett, who will face Chris Jericho NEXT!  Great opening segment.  Cena had some really funny lines.  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

Wade Barrett vs. Chris Jericho.  “Y2J!” chants.  Jericho goes on the attack.  Jericho hits a suplex.  The Nexus are watching backstage!  Jericho lands a dropkick.  Barrett goes to the apron.  Jericho knocks him off with the springboard dropkick.  Jericho brings Barrett back in and goes up top, but Barrett boots him to the floor.  Barrett rams Jericho’s back into the side of the apron, then beats him down at ringside.  Barrett whips Jericho into the corner.  He’s working Jericho’s back.  Jericho fires a chop, so he’s gonna be in trouble since he’s not Asian.  Barrett pulls Jericho’s back into his knee.  Jericho fights out and catches a charging Barrett with a boot.  Jericho hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Jericho hits some shoulder blocks and the bulldog.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Barrett counters out and goes for his move.  Jericho counters and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Barrett gets a rope break, then mows down Jericho with a big boot for 2.  Jericho avoids a backdrop suplex and lands an enzuigiri.  He goes for the Codebreaker, but Barrett counters and hits his Fireman’s carry slam for the pin in 5:22.  Fine little TV match.

Tonight, members of The Nexus vs. members of Team WWE!  Wait, how the fuck is Bret going to work a singles match?  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Justin Roberts introduces tonight’s guest hosts from the movie “Going The Distance,” Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, and Justin Long!  They come out and goof off, then introduce Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya).  Cole gets yet another email from the iBooker 9000 saying that from now on the titles will be known as the WWE Tag Team Championship.  Presenting the new belts is Bret Hart!  The new belts are fugly.  The Nexus appear on screen.  Wade Barrett says Bret’s opponent tonight will be Justin Gabriel.  Gabriel says tonight, Bret will experience the 450 splash.  Commercials.

Plug for the SummerSlam song.

Los Angeles!

Cole and Lawler talk about Daniel Bryan’s return last night.

Michael Tarver vs. Daniel Bryan.  Cole is in full Danielson hate mode.  They lock up.  “DANIEL BRYAN!” chant.  Tarver lands a bunch of punches.  Bryan boots him in the face and hits a running knee for 2.  Bryan hits some shoulder stunners and a suplex for 2.  Danielson lands some kicks.  Bryan ducks under Tarver and lands a dropkick, then a missile dropkick.  Bryan nips up.  WWE United States Champion The Miz and Alex Riley run out to distract Bryan.  Tarver gets a schoolboy for the pin in 2:09.  Bryan hits a tope suicida on Miz.  Miz, Riley, and Tarver beat down Bryan.  Miz gives Bryan the Skull Crushing Finale onto the briefcase.  The match was fine while it lasted, but why the fuck does that useless piece of shit Tarver get to stay?

Gabriel vs. Hart is next.  Commercials.  Fuck.

Moments ago, The Miz fucked Daniel Bryan and everyone who watches WWE by saving that piece of shit Michael Tarver’s spot.

The Miz and Alex Riley are walking backstage.  Josh Matthews stops them to interview them.  Miz really hates Daniel Bryan.  He puts over Riley, then Riley puts himself over.

The Nexus are chatting in their locker room.  Black Cena says he wants Cena tonight.

Gabriel vs. Hart is next for real this time!  Commercials!

Cole gets YET ANOTHER FUCKING EMAIL FROM THE iBOOKER 9000!  It says that Bret won’t be wrestling tonight.  Thank God.  The iBooker doesn’t like Bret Hart.  He’ll be replaced by… Randy Orton.  Fuck.  Goodbye, Justin Gabriel.

Justin Gabriel vs. Randy Orton.  Lock up.  Orton backs Gabriel into the corner.  Gabriel escapes and throws a kick, which seems to amuse Orton.  Gabriel grabs a side headlock, then lands some more kicks.  Orton is enjoying this.  He catches Gabriel’s leg, then hits him with clotheslines.  Orton hits the powerslam, then the DDT OF MURDER, then humps the mat.  WWE Champion Sheamus comes out.  Orton meets him to brawl on the floor and into the crowd.  Orton gets counted out in 2:49.  Gabriel gets the stay.  I’m relieved.  Orton realizes he lost, then drops Gabriel with the RKO.  Orton beats the shit out of Sheamus with a chair.  Orton starts to leave, then comes back and gives Sheamus an RKO.  I’m just relieved that Gabriel keeps his spot.  He’s the best member of the Nexus by far.  Commercials.

Moments ago, Orton fucked Sheamus’ shit all up!

Skip Sheffield & David Otunga vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  Morrison and Otunga lock up.  Morrison hits a side Russian leg sweep and tags in Truth.  The Nexus are backstage watching Truth hit a diving leg drop for 2.  Sheffield tags in and gets beaten up by Truth.  Sheffield hits an over the shoulder powerslam, then stomps on Truth.  Otunga tags in.  Truth hits a Complete Shot and makes the tag to Morrison.  Morrison runs wild.  Sheffield makes a blind tag and kills Morrison with a clothesline, then knocks Truth off of the apron.  Sheffield hits another killer lariat on Morrison for the pin in 2:59.  This wasn’t good, but Sheffield is awesome.

Melina, Eve Torres, & Gail Kim are headed our way!  Commercials.

Last night, Michelle McCool and Layla attacked Melina after she won the Divas Championship.

WWE Divas Champion Melina, Eve Torres, & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox, Maryse, & Jillian Hall.  Jon Lovitz is in the crowd.  Gail rams Maryse’s head into the mat.  Why do that?  You actually know how to wrestle!  Gail hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Gail ties Maryse to the tree of woe and tags in Melina, who hits Maryse with a running vagina to the corner.  Melina gets beaten up in the heel corner.  Maryse lands a kick for 2.  Fox tags in and hits a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Fox stretches Melina across her knee.  Melina hits a jawbreaker.  Eve and Jillian tag in.  Eve runs wild.  Eve hits a senton, but Fox saves.  Melina takes Fox out.  Gail takes Maryse out.  Eve drops Jillian and goes up top, but Jillian kind of powerbombs her down for the pin in 2:53.  Was not expecting that finish.  Jillian never wins anything.  Fox and Maryse kind of bicker.  The match was sort of okay.

Josh Matthews interviews Edge.  Heath Slater interrupts.  Slater wants Edge to take a forfeit the match.  Edge says he’s not going to forfeit a match to Wendy.  Slater decks Edge.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Some dude from True Blood is here.

Heath Slater vs. Edge.  Edge is pissed.  He kicks Slater’s ass.  Edge goes up top, but Slater cuts him off and knocks him to the floor.  Slater beats up Edge on the outside.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Slater beats up Edge.  Edge avoids a splash in the corner and makes his comeback.  Edge-O-Matic gets 2.  Slater hits a big flapjack for 2.  You can hear some fan yell “I hate you, Heath Slater!”  Edge spears Slater in the corner.  Slater avoids a baseball slide dropkick, but Edge drops him with a big boot on the floor.  Edge goes for spear at ringside, but Slater slips back into the ring and wins by count-out in 4:31.  It was there.  Edge spears Slater after the match.  Commercials.

Los Angeles!

Justin Long talks to Great Khali backstage.  Long says Khali doesn’t do the Kiss Cam because he has a girlfriend now.  Khali speaks Khalese.  Ranjin Singh translates that Khali wants long distance relationship advice.  Singh shows a picture of Khali’s girlfriend, who is apparently very ugly.  The other 2 goobs come in and are very vocal about her ugliness.  Khali scares them away.  Khali looks at the picture and says “Yeah, she’s pretty ugly.”  The Bella Twins come in and leave with Khali.  Stupid segment.

SummerSlam Rewind is last week’s hype leading up to last night’s show.

Cena vs. Black Cena is NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE Rewind: Last month, John Cena beat the fuck out of Darren Young.

Darren Young vs. John Cena.  The rest of the Nexus come out to stand on the stage.  Young goes for a schoolboy immediately, but gets 0.  Young gets a backslide for 2.  Cena wrings Young’s arm and takes him down with a side headlock.  They lock up and Young grabs a side headlock.  Cena does a drop down, leapfrog, shoulder block, then goes back to the side headlock.  Young hits a leg drop for 2.  Young hits a short range lariat for 2.  Young hits a suplex for 2.  Young hits a butt butt for 2.  Cena fights back.  Young boots him in the gut and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Young applies a rear chin lock.  Young catches Cena charging in the corner with an elbow smash, then hits an elbow drop for 2.  Young hits a leg drop for 2.  Young hits a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  I’m shocked that Young is getting any offense, much less dominating Cena.  Young knocks Cena out of the ring and dropkicks the steps into him.  Cena beats the count back in at 9.  Cena avoids a leg drop and makes his comeback.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Young counters and goes for a sunset flip, but Cena counters into the STF for the win in 7:59.  The match… was there.  The Nexus surround the ring… but let Cena leave.  Young pleads his case.  Lawler calls Young “Daniel Bryan.”  Wrong dude altogether.  The Nexus beat the shit out of Young.  Barrett hits his Fireman carry slam.  Gabriel hits the 450.  The Nexus 6 stand tall.

This show… was fine as far as keeping the angle going, but none of the matches were any good and the show felt like a mess at times.

WWE Monday Night Raw 7/26/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, “Last week on Raw…” video.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

John Cena comes out and cuts a promo about The Nexus.  He talks about his team for SummerSlam and makes a bunch of jokes about the Super Friends.  Chris Jericho comes out.  Jericho bitches about Cena calling it “his” team.  Cena says he doesn’t care, he just wants to beat Nexus.  Having gotten what he wants, Jericho bitches at Cena for patronizing him.  Cena slaps the mic out of Jericho’s hand and gives him a passionate lecture.  The bitch back and forth some more.  Jericho promises to get rid of Cena after they get rid of the Nexus.  Cena challenges him to fight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  It says the match at SummerSlam will be Elimination and tonight the Nexus will face scrubs in a preview Elimination match.  It also says Jericho and Cena will team tonight.  This week’s tease is that the iBooker is a DX member.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: Last week, Sheamus beat Evan Bourne, then The Miz attacked Sheamus and was about to cash in Money In The Bank until R-Truth fucked shit up.

WWE Champion Sheamus comes out to sit ringside for the next match.

Randy Orton vs. Jey Uso (w/ Jimmy Uso & Tamina).  They lock up.  Orton hits a clothesline and stares at Sheamus, the kicks Uso’s ass some more.  Orton hits the Albert decapitator.  Uso pulls Orton’s head across the top rope and puts the boots to him.  Uso hits a falling headbutt for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton ducks a clothesline and hits the powerslam.  Jimmy jumps on the apron and gets nailed.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER on Jey, then humps the mat and hits the RKO for the pin in 2:34.  It was there.  Jimmy Uso attacks Orton from behind.  Orton kicks his ass.  Sheamus comes in and tries to hit the pump kick on Orton, but nails Jimmy instead.  Orton hits the RKO on Sheamus.  The Miz comes out to cash in Money In The Bank, but Orton comes back in and RKOs Miz too.  Orton poses.

Edge complains to Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) about Great Khali being on the SummerSlam team.  Dibiase says Cena will see the error of his ways and put him on the team.  Edge says if he doesn’t, he’ll take Khali out himself.  Ranjin Singh overhead all of this.  Commercials.

San Antonio!

The Miz and Sheamus are still in the ring yelling at each other.  iBooker 9000 says tonight it will be Sheamus & Miz vs. Cena & Jericho.  Cole says he’s “received another manager” from the GM.

Cole and Lawler talk about SummerSlam to segue into…

SummerSlam Recall: The Ultimate Warrior squashing The Honky Tonk Man to win the Intercontinental Championship in 1988.

Edge is talking on the phone when Great Khali barges into his room and yells at him in Khalese.  Edge bitches down and denies saying the shit he just said.  Singh says Khali is challenging Edge to a match.  Edge agrees, but if he wins, Khali is off the SummerSlam team.  Please win Edge, PLEASE!  Commercials.

Lawler is gone because he’s one of the scrubs facing The Nexus tonight.

Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Edge.  Edge tries to be abusive and elusive, but Khali gets hold of him and kills him with a big chop.  Khali beats up Edge.  Edge avoids a leg drop.  The Nexus comes out.  Edge runs away through the crowd.  It’s a no-contest in about a minute and a half.  They surround Khali, but let him leave.

Tonight, Cena & Jericho vs. Sheamus & Miz!

The Raw srubs are headed our way!  Commercials!

Elimination Match: The Nexus (Wade Barrett, Skip Sheffield, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, David Otunga, Darren Young, & Michael Tarver) vs. Team Raw (Mark Henry, Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya), Jerry Lawler, Evan Bourne, Goldust, & Yoshi Tatsu).  Tarver and Tatsu start.  They lock up.  Tarver yells, then Yoshi chops him.  Yoshi lands some kicks.  Tarver catches him with a boot.  Tatsu responds in kind.  Tarver hits his shitty powerslam for the pin in 51 seconds.  Bourne comes in and goes after Tarver.  Gabriel tags in.  They try to double team, but Gabriel gets backdropped.  Lawler tags in and shines against Gabriel.  Lawler hits the diving fist drop for 2.  Nexus bails to talk strategy.  Commercials.  Kidd has Slater in a side headlock.  During the break, Lawler missed the diving fist drop and Slater hit him with a side Russian leg sweep to eliminate him.  Smith hits the stalling suplex on Slater for 2.  Smith beats up Slater some more.  Smith goes for the running powerslam, but Slater slips out thanks to Gabriel’s distraction.  Slater hits Smith with another shitty Russian leg sweep for the pin in 6:58.  Goldust comes in and beats up Slater.  Otunga comes in.  Young trips Goldust from the outside.  Otunga hits the spinebuster on Goldust for the pin in 8:13.  Henry comes in and press slams Otunga.  Slater tags in and gets beaten up too.  Darren Young gets more of the same.  Sheffield comes in and takes the fight to Henry because he’s a bad mofo.  Sheffield goes for the killer lariat, but Henry slams  him.  Twice.  Henry throws Gabriel in and splashes him in the corner.  Sheffield hits Henry with the clothesline for the pin in 10:06.  Kidd tries a springboard on Sheffield but gets killed with the clothesline.  Sheffield wants to give this one to Young.  Young hits his shitty full nelson face plant thing for the pin in 11:01.  Bourne is all alone.  He fights as well as he can, but Barrett hits the shitty fireman’s carry slam for the pin in 11:44.  Fun little match, but almost all of the Nexus guys have such shitty finishers.  The Nexus beat down Bourne after the match.  He takes the Sheffield killer lariat, Otunga’s spinebuster, and Gabriel’s 450 splash.  The Nexus cut promos about them being unified while Cena’s team isn’t.

The Miz is backstage looking mad.  Sheamus comes in and bitches at him.  Miz teases cashing in Money In The Bank after their tag match tonight.  Sheamus warns him to stop fucking him him and smacks the briefcase out of his hand.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

The Alamo!

Non-Title: Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella) vs. WWE Divas Champion Alicia Fox.  Fox beats up Bella.  Jillian Hall comes out to stop the Bellas from pulling the switcheroo.  Brie schoolgirls Alicia for 2.  Alicia hits the scissors kick for the pin in 1:03.  Pointless shit here.  Jillian sings in celebration until Alicia hits her with the scissors kick too.  Yay Alicia!

Tonight, Cena & Jericho vs. Miz & Sheamus!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

R-Truth comes out to do commentary for the next match.

Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Maryse grabs Morrison’s leg to let Dibiase get the advantage.  Dibiase clamps on a rear chin lock.  Morrison makes his comeback.  Dibiase boots him in the face.  Morrison rocks DIbiase with a kick and goes for the Starship Pain, but Maryse distracts him.  Dibiase tries to pin Morrison with his feet on the ropes, but R-Truth pushes his feet off.  Dibiase sends Morrison crashing into Truth, then gets the pin in 2:17.  Not much of a match.  Morrison and R-Truth argue.

John Cena looks distraught at his teammates arguing.  Commercials.

The SummerSlam song is some stupid song by some stupid band.

“Last week on Raw…” video.  Again.

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton, who doesn’t care who the WWE Champion is at SummerSlam.

The main event is NEXT!

WWE Champion Sheamus & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Cena & Chris Jericho.  Both teams argue over who is going to start.  It ends up being Cena and Miz.  Cena sends Miz outside immediately.  Miz comes back in… and tags out immediately.  Sheamus and Cena lock up.  They trade headlocks.  Cena scores a knockdown with a shoulder block and tags in Jericho.  Sheamus and Jericho brawl.  Jericho throws Sheamus out of the ring.  Miz bitches at Sheamus.  Commercials.  Sheamus and Cena brawl.  Miz tags in and Cena hits the Fisherman buster, then tags in Jericho.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Sheamus misses a clothesline, then Jericho connects with the springboard dropkick to the apron to knock Sheamus to the floor.  Miz cheap shots Jericho and gets the advantage.  Sheamus tags in and beats up Jericho.  Sheamus scores some near falls as heel Jericho plays face in peril.  Miz does the same.  Jericho lands a missile dropkick.  Sheamus tags in and prevents Jericho from making the tag.  Miz tags in and misses a charge in the corner.  Cena gets the hot tag and runs wild on Sheamus.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Miz distracts the referee.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cena.  Miz tags himself in and pins Cena in 13:22.  Fine match.  Jericho locks Cena in the Walls of Jericho.  Cena counters into the STF.  Great Khali comes down to be the voice of reason.  Really.  Edge shows up and spears Khali.  John Morrison and R-Truth come down and are like WTF?  Team Raw argues.  Khali kills Morrison and Edge with head chops.  Things aren’t looking good for Team Raw!

Nothing particularly great on this show, but it was pretty fun.

WWE Superstars 7/22/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 26, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Chris Masters & Montel Vontavious Porter (w/ Percy Watson) vs. The Dudebusters.  MVP and Barreta start.  MVP nails a flying forearm for 2.  Masters tags in and takes his turn beating up Barreta.  Masters hits a back body drop for 2, then chops Barreta.  Croft gets the tag and blindsides Masters to get the advantage.  Dudebusters get the heat on Masters.  Masters surprises Barreta with a shitty cradle for 2.  He catapults Barreta into the corner, then makes the hot tag to MVP.  MVP runs wild on Croft.  Ballin’ elbow gets 2, as Croft saves.  Masters puts Barreta in the Master Lock and sends him outside.  MVP hits the Paydirt on Croft for the pin in 5:33.  It was fine.

Tonight, the Hart Dynasty face The Usos!

Voting for next week’s NXT Poll is open NOW on WWE.com!

JTG vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  They lock up.  JTG hits some moves, including his dumb reverse leg lariat for 2.  Chavo sends JTG into the turnbuckle and pounds on him in the corner.  JTG fights back and hits some more moves for 2.  Chavo lands a koppou kick, then throws JTG into the post.  Chavo hits 2 brainbusters and the frog splash for the pin in 2:50!  Chavo won again!  Chavo wins 2 TV matches in a row!  Fuckin’ right!

Yoshi Tatsu is headed our way!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

John Cena/Nexus video.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Primo.  Yoshi wrings Primo’s arm.  Primo gets a rope break.  Primo hits a leg sweep for 1.  Yoshi sends Primo outside and springboards to the apron, where Primo trips him.  Primo hits the Albert decapitator for 2.  Primo locks in a camel clutch.  Primo hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Primo keeps the heat on Yoshi until Yoshi avoids a corner charge and makes his comeback.  Yoshi hits the Shining Wizard for 2.  Yoshi sets Primo on the top rope and chops him.  Yoshi goes for a rana, but Primo avoids it and hits a hangman’s Backstabber for the pin in 4:40.  Good little match.

Tonight, Harts vs. The Usos!

Raw Rebound.

Cole and Lawler hype the SummerSlam card.

The main event is NEXT!

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina).  Smith and Jey start.  Smith grounds him immediately with a headlock.  Smith screws up an arm drag, then hits a sweet takedown into a cross armbreaker, like a less smooth Minoru Special.  Jey gets a rope break and pounds on Smith.  Smith nails him with a clothesline and puts him in the tree of woe, then tags in Kidd.  Kidd his a corner dropkick for 2, then works Jey’s arm.  Jimmy tags in and works Kidd’s arm.  Kidd counters with an arm drag, then gets a neat front cradle for 2.  Jimmy avoids one dropkick, but eats a second one.  Kidd covers for 2.  Smith tags in.  Harts double team Jimmy for 2.  Jey blind tags in and Smith throws him outside on Jimmy.  Insta-commercials.  Jimmy has Kidd in a rear chin lock.  Kidd fights out and sends Jimmy to the floor.  Kidd dives at the Usos, but they catch him and send him into the barricade.  Kidd barely beats the count into the ring.  Jimmy pounds on him, then covers for 2.  Usos double team Kidd.  Jey covers for 2.  Kidd continues to play face in peril.  Kidd and Jimmy do the double clothesline spot.  Smith gets the hot tag and runs wild on Jey.  Smith goes for the Sharpshooter, but Tamina distracts him.  Natalya nails Tamina.  Smith nails Jey with a boot.  Kidd tags in.  Harts hit the springboard Hart Attack on Jey (with Kidd dropkicking Jimmy in the process).  Kidd pins Jey (9:13 shown).  Really good little match.

Fine little show.  Nothing was bad and the main event was actively good.

WWE Money In The Bank 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Money In The Bank open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  We’re LIVE from Kansas City, Missouri!  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers!  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. The Big Show.  Everybody gangs up on Big Show and Kane.  Rhodes sets up a ladder and tries to climb while everyone is distracted.  Show and Kane kick his ass, then brawl with each other.  Show tries to climb the ladder and the first rung he steps on breaks, just like on Smackdown.  Everybody attacks Show, but he clears them out and throws the broken ladder out of the ring at Kane.  Show looks under the ring for his special ladder, but all the little guys attack him and send him into the steps, then brawl amongst themselves.  McIntyre catapults Christian into a ladder, then sets up the ladder and starts climbing.  Hardy hits him with another ladder.  Hardy climbs the ladder, but Christian comes in and pulls him down.  Christian puts the boots to Hardy and climbs the ladder himself.  Hardy pulls Christian off and pounds on him.  Hardy and Christian go out of the ring.  Rhodes climbs the ladder, but Kingston cuts him off and starts climbing.  Ziggler cuts Kingston off and reaches the briefcase, but Christian cuts him off.  They brawl on top of the ladder.  Christian hip tosses Ziggler off the ladder.  Hardy pushes the ladder over.  Hardy hits the Side Effect on Kofi and Christian hits the reverse DDT on Rhodes.  Kane goes for a double chokeslam, but Hardy and Christian hit him with a double DDT.  Hardy and Christian sandwich Kane between ladders, then hit each other.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Christian counters and flapjacks Hardy into a ladder.  Christian does his “stand on the guy on the bottom rope” bit with the ladder.  Christian climbs the ladder, but McIntyre pushes it over.  Christian falls out of the ring and takes out Big Show in the process.  Rhodes hits a kick on Kane.  Kofi hits Kane with the Trouble In Paradise, then Hardy drops Kane with the Twist of Fate.  Kofi climbs a ladder, but Rhodes hits him with a backdrop suplex.  Hardy and Rhodes brawl on top of the ladder.  McIntyre pushes the ladder over.  McIntyre throws Hardy into the post, then Rhodes.  McIntyre climbs a ladder, but Ziggler cuts him off.  McIntyre throws Ziggler into the post.  Kane pulls McIntyre out of the ring and stomps his head in.  Kane tears up the announcers’ tables and tries to chokeslam McIntyre.  Kane fights back, but gets dropped with a big boot.  Kofi baseball slide dropkicks a ladder into Kane’s face, then beats up McIntyre on the Spanish announce table.  Kofi lays out McIntyre with the Trouble In Paradise, then climbs a ringside ladder and hits the Boom Drop on McIntyre through the table.  Ziggler climbs a ladder in the ring.  Show comes in, knocks the ladder over, and chokeslams Ziggler.  Kane tries to chokeslam Show, but Show fights him off and rams a ladder into him, then butt butts the ladder in the corner.  Show throws Rhodes out of the ring.  Christian and Hardy hit Show with a ladder.  Show grabs the ladder and shoves it over both of them, then splashes the ladder with Christian and Hardy under it.  That couldn’t have been fun for anyone.  Show brings his special ladder in from under the ring.  He struggles with it because it is a very heavy ladder.  He finally gets the giant ladder set up.  Rhodes comes in and hits Show in his injured leg with a step ladder.  Rhodes climbs the big ladder.  Ziggler cuts him off and hits an electric chair drop.  Ziggler climbs the huge ladder.  Show gets up and kills him with a big chop.  Hardy attacks Show and gets a big headbutt for his trouble.  Kofi springboards to the ladder and climbs, but Show grabs him.  Kofi turns it into a DDT and starts climbing again.  Rhodes hits Kofi with a missile dropkick to the ladder.  Nice.  Rhodes hits Kofi with the Cross Rhodes on a ladder.  Rhodes climbs the huge ladder.  Ziggler cuts him off and sort of hits the Zig Zag into the huge ladder.  That’s a very sturdy ladder.  Show headbutts Rhodes and Ziggler and finally climbs the huge ladder.  Kane comes in and pushes the ladder over.  Big Show tumbles over the top rope to the floor.  The other guys stack ladders on top of Show.  Show is pretty much buried in ladders.  Everybody else tries to climb the huge ladder.  Kane chokeslams Christian, then Hardy, then rams Kofi’s head into the ladder and pulls Rhodes down and decks him.  Kane climbs.  Ziggler climbs over him and goes for the briefcase.  Ziggler locks Kane in the sleeper hold.  Kane rams Ziggler’s head into the ladder.  Ziggler crash to the mat, then Kane chokeslams him into the pile of ladders burying Show.  Rhodes and Kofi pull Kane out of the ring, then brawl with each other.  Kane kicks their asses and chokeslams Kofi onto Show’s ladder pyre.  Rhodes runs up the ramp to get away from Kane.  Kane catches him and throws him like a javelin into one of the armored trucks making up the PPV set.  Hardy climbs the ladder.  Kane pulls him down.  Christian tries to climb up with Kane, but gets knocked down.  Christian and Hardy slam Kane down off of the ladder.  Christian and Hardy climb the ladder and fight at the top, then both fall off.  McIntyre finally recovers from being dead and climbs the ladder.  Kane recovers and choke pushes McIntyre to the mat.  Kane takes down the briefcase to win it in 26:17.  Awesome match.  The Raw guys are going to have a hard time topping it.

Josh Matthews interviews the WWE Champion, Sheamus.  He says he finally realized he had to fight against The Nexus, but he still hates John Cena.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Alicia Fox (c) vs. Eve Torres.  They lock up.  Fox takes Eve down.  Eve gets up and takes Fox down.  They lock up again.  Eve grabs a side headlock, then hits a shoulder block for 1.  Eve gets a jackknife hold for 1.  Eve gets a sunset flip for 2.  Eve lands a dropkick and goes for a tornado DDT, but Fox pulls her down.  Eve goes outside.  Fox follows and his met with a forearm.  Fox slams Eve into the side of the ring.  Fox pulls Eve into the ring and covers for 2.  Fox applies a backbreaker hold.  Eve knees her way out and makes her comeback.  Fox hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Eve hits sort a reverse monkey flip.  Eve hits a cross body for 1.  Eve lands some more dropkicks and goes for a suplex, but her back gives it.  Eve lands a kick and hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Eve drops Fox with another kick and tries a flip from the middle rope, but Fox gets her knees up.  Fox hits the scissors kick for the pin in 5:53.  They tried.  It was still pretty bad, but at least it wasn’t too horribly long.

They show the retarded shit from Smackdown where Kane chokeslammed and Tombstoned Jack Swagger’s daddy.

Jack Swagger is on the phone with his mom.  He’s gone from loving his daddy to blaming him for trying to steal his spotlight.

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Hart Dynasty (c) (w/ Natalya) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina).  Smith and the Uso with short tights start.  I keep forgetting which is which.  Cole says it’s Jey, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.  Smith hits a powerslam for 2.  Kidd tags in.  Smith hip tosses him into a rana on Jey.  Smith comes back in and brawls with Jey some more.  Jey grounds and pounds him.  Jimmy tags in and beats up Smith.  Jey tags in and hits a butt butt to the corner for 2, as Kidd saves.  Smith hits a back body drop on Jey.  Jimmy tags in and cuts off Smith from making the tag.  Jimmy cranks on a rear chin lock.  Smith hits a belly to belly throw.  Jey and Kidd tag in.  Kidd runs wild.  Kidd gets a springboard reverse cradle, but Jimmy makes the blind tag.  Usos hit a double team Samoan drop on Kidd.  Jimmy covers for 2.  Jimmy slams Kidd and goes for the Superfly splash, but Kidd gets his knees up.  Smith gets the tag and nails Jimmy with a shoulder block.  Smith goes for the Sharpshooter.  Tamina gets on the apron.  Natalya pulls her down and slams her on the floor.  Smith catches Jimmy’s superkick and locks in the Sharpshooter.  Kidd takes out Jey with a dive.  Jimmy submits to Smith in 5:53.  Fine little match.  All of these guys are really good.

Criss Angel: Mindfreak commercial.  That’s the sponsor of the PPV.

“Money” is the crappy PPV theme song!

Rey Mysterio/Jack Swagger video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Jack Swagger.  Mysterio is limping to sell the ankle injury.  Swagger goes for takedowns and Mysterio tries to stay away from Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger pushes Mysterio into the corner and goes for the ankle.  Mysterio fights to keep him Swagger off of his ankle.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger moves.  Mysterio tries a quebrada, but Mysterio catches him, powerslams him into the corner, and ties him to the tree of woe.  Mysterio avoids a blow and hits a diving Bombs Away to the floor.  That was stupid.  Mysterio goes up top again and Swagger hits a belly to belly throw from the top.  Swagger, naturally, works the leg.  Mysterio bails.  Swagger follows and him into the announce table.  The Spanish announcers are gone now.  Hah!  They only had them out there to go old school and break their table.  Swagger keeps working the leg back in the ring.  Swagger hits a fucked up Samoan drop or a powerslam or something for 2.  Swagger throws Rey around some more and goes for the springboard Vader Bomb, but Mysterio avoids it and kicks Swagger in the head.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away.  Swagger headbutts him in the middle.  Mysterio hits a headscissors that sends Swagger into the turnbuckle.  Mysterio hits a split legged moonsault for 2.  Swagger hits a wheelbarrow suplex for 2.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Swagger goes for the ankle, but Mysterio kicks him away.  Mysterio ranas Swagger into the post.  Swaggergoes for a powerslam off the middle rope, but Mysterio turns it into a DDT!  Cover, but Swagger kicks out!  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the West Coast Pop, but Swagger catches him and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio gets the ropes.  Swagger breaks, but hits the springboard Vader Bomb x2.  Swagger attacks the ankle again.  Mysterio loosens his boot.  Swagger applies the ankle lock again, but the boot slips off!  The boot trick!  Awesome!  Mysterio hits a Frankensteiner for the pin in 10:45.  Good match.  Awesome nod to Eddie vs. Angle from WrestleMania XX with the boot trick!  I always loved that spot.  Mysterio celebrates with the belt, but Swagger jumps him after the match and puts him back in the ankle lock.  Kane runs out to make the save and kicks Swagger’s ass to the back.  Mysterio celebrates again.  But wait, Kane is coming back with the Money In The Bank briefcase!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Kane.  Mysterio tries to get away from Kane.  Kane attacks the injured ankle.  Kane hits the chokeslam and the Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 53 seconds.  After 12 years, Kane is FINALLY World Champion again!  Good for him.  And it’s cool that they finally had someone cash in the Money In The Bank the night they won it.

Edge is backstage watching on a monitor.  Chris Jericho shows up.  They bicker and argue about which one of them is going to win the Raw Money In The Bank and cash it in tonight.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Layla (c) (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany).  They show LayCool’s recent attack on Kelly.  They lock up.  Layla powers Kelly into the corner.  The (worst) ref (in WWE) forces the break.  Kelly tackles Layla and kicks her ass.  Layla avoids the handspring elbow to the corner.  Kelly gets a victory roll for 2.  Kelly kicks Layla out of the ring.  Layla uses Finlay’s ring apron trick to trap Kelly’s leg and kick the crap out of it.  Layla baseball slide dropkicks Kelly into McCool at ringside, then sides her into the barricade.  Tiffany argues with LayCool.  McCool takes a cheap shot at Kelly.  Kelly shoves McCool over the barricade, then kicks Layla’s ass and throws her back into the ring.  Kelly is FIRED UP!  She gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Kelly hits the Fameasser, but Layla gets her foot on the bottom rope.  Tiffany and Kelly deck McCool.  Kelly goes back in and goes for a diving sunset flip, but Layla hooks her legs and gets the pin in 3:58.  This sucked.  Did you expect anything else?  Striker’s cooing over Layla is fucking obnoxious.

Please, Don’t Try This At Home!

Some National Guard folks are in the house!

The announcers plug SummerSlam slurpee cups.

Earlier tonight, the Smackdown Money In The Bank Ladder Match happened!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Randy Orton vs. WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne vs. Edge.  Edge brings in a ladder before the match starts, then bails as soon as the bell rings.  Everybody else goes for the ladder and starts brawling.  Everybody else goes outside and Edge sneaks in to climb the ladder.  Orton cuts him off and takes him outside to kick his ass.  Dibiase picks up a ladder, but gets kicked by Morrison.  Dibiase clotheslines Morrison onto the ladder.  Dibiase knocks Morrison off the apron with the ladder.  Bourne dropkicks the ladder into Dibiase.  Miz nails Bourne and throws him out of the ring.  Miz tries to set up the ladder, but Jericho comes in and brawls with him.  Henry throws a ladder at them.  Henry squashes Miz against the middle rope.  Jericho nails Henry with a ladder, then throws it on him.  Bourne sets up a ladder.  Jericho comes at him with another ladder, but Bourne drops him.  Bourne sets up a ladder properly and climbs for the prize.  Edge cuts him off, but Bourne hits a rana to send Edge out of the ring.  Orton comes in and beats up Bourne.  Orton uses the ladder to hit the DDT OF MURDER!  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on Orton.  Morrison stumbles and knocks over the ladder.  Dibiase comes in.  Morrison tries to suplex him, but Miz saves.  Miz and Dibiase stomp Morrison.  Morrison flapjacks Miz into a ladder, then drop toe holds Dibiase onto it.  Morrison climbs the ladder.  Edge climbs the other side.  Jericho sets up another ladder next them and climbs.  Orton climbs the opposite side of Jericho’s ladder.  Henry comes in and pushes both ladders over!  Bourne hits a springboard knee on Henry, then falls out of the ring.  Maryse checks on Dibiase, then decides to climb the ladder herself.  Morrison comes in and pulls her down, then orders her to the back.  Dibiase sneaks in and climbs the ladder, but Morrison cuts him off.  Awesome attempt at trickery there.  Dibiase charges Morrison in the corner with the ladder, but Morrison moves.  Outside, Miz nails Morrison with a ladder.  Edge climbs a ladder in the ring.  Morrison does a crazy bit falling on one ladder to the ladder Edge is on.  Edge traps Morrison in the ladder.  Edge and Miz ram another ladder into Morrison, then Edge nails Miz with it.  Edge pushes the ladder over with Morrison inside it.  Dibiase comes in and hits Edge with another ladder.  Dibiase sets a ladder up upside down for some reason.  Jericho tries to bring in another ladder, but Dibiase takes it from him and nails him and Orton with it.  Dibiase rams Edge into his weird ladder structure and climbs up the normal ladder.  Henry cuts him off.  Dibiase dives at Henry, but Henry catches him and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Henry knocks a ladder into Jericho, then press slams Miz onto the ladder and Jericho.  Henry climbs the ladder.  Bourne jumps on his back, but Henry keeps climbing.  So Big Show can’t climb the ladder, but Henry can climb it with Bourne on his back?  Does show way 700 lbs or something?  Edge and Orton cut Henry off, but Bourne almost reaches the briefcase.  Edge and Orton launch him outside at Henry, who hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Morrison lands a kick on Henry.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker.  Edge hits the spear.  Orton, Morrison, Edge, Jericho, and Miz all climb.  Dibiase tries to cut them off, but gets kicked out of the ring.  Dibiase adds another ladder to make a bridge.  Miz takes a bump into it.  Dibiase stands on the bridge.  Edge and Orton bring him down onto the ladder and throw him out of the ring.  Orton hits the RKO on Edge.  Jericho kicks Orton to send him outside.  Jericho and Morrison fight on top of the ladder.  Jericho gets his leg stuck in the ladder.  Orton hits the RKO on Morrison.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press on Orton.  Bourne climbs the ladder while Jericho dangles from it.  Bourne almost gets the briefcase, but Jericho cuts him off and swings the briefcase into his face.  Edge climbs up to fight Jericho.  Orton hits Jericho with an RKO off the ladder!  Orton knocks Edge off into Dibiase’s wacky ladder set up deal, then climbs the ladder.  Miz comes in and pushes the ladder over.  Miz climbs the ladder and takes down the briefcase to win it in 20:27.  Another wild match, but not as good as the Smackdown one.  Miz is emotional over the win.  He cuts a promo about this being his moment and him being awesome.

The Criss Angel: Mindfreak commercial airs again.

SummerSlam hype video.

John Cena/Sheamus video package.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Sheamus tries to ram Cena’s head into the cage, but fails.  Sheamus pounds on Cena and finally succeeds in ramming his head into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Cena tackles Sheamus and pounds on him.  Sheamus catches Cena with an elbow smash.  Sheamus beats up Cena some more and grinds his face into the cage.  Cena hits his whack Fisherman buster.  They trade punches.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Sheamus ducks him and sends him into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus hits the reverse DDT backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus tries to climb out of the cage, but Sheamus cuts him off.  They fight on the top rope.  Cena hits a superplex for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus counters into a DDT for 2.  Sheamus hits the Polish hammer for 2.  Repeat.  Cena ducks a third attempt and fights back, but Sheamus locks in a sleeper hold.  Cena suffers for a bit, then stands  up and starts climbing the cage with Sheamus on his back.  Sheamus lets go and pulls Cena down.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus knees Cena in the face, then chokes him with his boot.  Sheamus climbs the cage.  Cena pulls him down.  Cena makes his standard comeback.  He goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus grabs the cage and starts climbing.  Cena rams Sheamus’ head into the cage to send him crashing to the mat.  Cena is cut, but it’s not bleeding.  It must be an old cut.  He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle off of the top, but Sheamus moves to avoid it.  Sheamus ties up Cena in the ropes and pounds on him.  Sheamus climbs over Cena.  Cena breaks free and stops Sheamus from escaping.  Cena hits a bulldog off the top rope for 2.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker, then nails Sheamus with the pump kick for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment out of nowhere for 2.  The Nexus come out.  Michael Tarver has bolt cutters.  A referee takes them and runs away.  The Nexus demand the key to the door, but Jack Doan throws it into the crowd.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again, but Sheamus counters and sends Cena into the ref.  The ref is dead from a shot that wouldn’t put down a grandmother for more than a few seconds.  Cena locks in the STF.  Sheamus taps, but the ref is dead.  Cena tries to escape, but members of the Nexus climb up to meet him.  Cena sends Justin Gabriel to the mat.  The Nexus members stop Cena from escaping.  Sheamus climbs up the other side, nails Heath Slater, and drops the floor to win it in 23:01.  The match was fine, but not especially exciting.  Sheamus runs out through the crowd.  Cena is pissed.  He throws Darren Young into the cage, then nails Tarver with a three point clothesline.  I guess the rest of the Nexus ran after Sheamus.  Cena nails Tarver with the ring steps.  He yells “I told you I’d take every one of you out!”  Cena takes Tarver’s armband and leaves.

Pretty good show altogether.  The ladder matches were great, and aside from the shitty women’s matches, nothing on the show was bad.