Archive for Unified WWE Divas Championship

WWE Monday Night Raw 11/15/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

The recognized symbol of excellence in sports entertainment!  Awesome Raw open with current starts in an old style open.  Pyro and ballyhoo!  Old school logos, sirens, etc.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers and are in old school attire.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Mean Gene Okerlund comes out to the old school interview podium.  He introduces “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr.  He starts to introduce Randy, but Bob says he’s not there yet.  Okerlund interviews Orton about his son’s chances at Survivor Series.  He says something I didn’t catch that angers the crowd.  Wade Barrett comes out and chastises him about being old and whatnot.  The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz talks about being a dick last week and his Money In The Bank privilege.  He says he might cash in tonight and fuck up the Survivor Series main event, somehow forcing Cena to stay in Nexus forever.  John Cena appears on the screen and tells Miz that he’s not going to allow any such frivolities and challenges Miz to a match tonight.  Miz accepts.  Commercials.  This is fun, with the old school set and music and all.

WWE.com plug.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Mark Henry.  OLD SCHOOL INSET PROMOS DURING ENTRANCES!  Henry comes out to the Sexual Chocolate theme!  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Henry throws him out of the ring.  Blue ring apron, posts, and steps!  Red, white, and blue ring ropes!  Old school logos on the turnbuckle pads!  Referees wearing light blue shirts and bow ties!  This rules.  Henry beats up Ziggler.  Ziggler fails to apply the sleeper hold again.  Ziggler gets crotched on the top rope and falls to the floor.  Sexual Chocolate leers at Vickie, then press slams Ziggler back into the ring.  Ziggler dropkicks Henry’s knee and puts the boots to him.  Ziggler beats up Henry.  Henry hits a powerslam, but Ziggler gets a foot on the bottom rope.  Ziggler avoids getting squashed by a big splash and hits a Fameasser for 2.  Cole called it the Zig Zag because he’s mentally retarded.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pi… no, 2!  Amazingly, Cole didn’t call it the Fameasser.  Ziggler locks in a scissored sleeper and wins by referee stop in 4:27.  The environment made this way more fun to watch than it should have been.

The Hart Dynasty chat backstage about working through their problems.  They encounter Tony Atlas, who babbles about teaming with Rocky Johnson back in the day and rubs WD-40 onto his skin.  Hilarious.  Commercials.

Backstage, Tony Atlas is STILL rambling!  Yoshi Tatsu is listening, and feigns committing seppuku.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Nexus vs. The Hart Dynasty.  Smith and Slater start with a great wrestling exchange.  Gabriel throws some kicks, but Smith catches one and trips him.  Smith beats up Gabriel.  Smith hits ROLLING BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES for 2.  Slater saves.  Slater tags in.  Smith powerslams him and hits a leg drop for 2.  Smith goes for the running powerslam, but gets distracted by Gabriel.  Slater gets the advantage on Smith.  Nexus make quick tags and work Smith over.  Smith goes to tag in Kidd, but Kidd TURNS HEEL and kicks him in the head!  Gabriel hits the 450 splash on Smith for the pin in 3:05.  The Hart Dynasty has finally collapsed!

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews WWE Champion Randy Orton (w/ his dad, “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr.).  R-Truth interrupts to tell him about how Cena is going to fuck him on Sunday.  Orton says he’s going to kick Cena in the head tonight to keep that from happening.  Commercials.

Random note: I also love the old school shirts everyone is wearing tonight.

Old school WWEShop.com plug with Mean Gene plugging old school merchandise!

Justin Roberts introduces Howard Finkel, who will be doing ring announcing for at least the next match.  He’s still awesome.  He should be doing ring announcing full time!  He introduces The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Whippleman)!  They heel on the crowd and issue an open challenge to anyone from “the new school.”  ZEKE accepts!

The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Whippleman) vs. Ezekiel Jackson.  Zeke hits a shoulder block.  Brawler talks shit, shoves Zeke, and tries to slam him.  Zeke mauls him.  Zeke hits the Book of Ezekiel for the pin in 50 seconds.  Awesome!

Tonight, John Cena vs. The Miz!  Old school match graphics!  Commercials!

The 5 lesser members of The Nexus are backstage.  David Otunga says that somebody needs to deal with R-Truth.  He calls himself “leader,” which Barrett overhears.  Barrett tells Otunga that he’ll be the one facing R-Truth tonight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  Shouldn’t they use an old computer for this?  iBooker says Otunga already has a “special” match tonight, so Barrett will face R-Truth tonight.  Barrett is fine with this.  Harris says they have his back, but Barrett says he’ll handle this.  John Cena comes in to talk about whatever.  Barrett orders Harris and McGillicutty to have Cena’s back tonight.  Cena declines.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night, but it’s written OLD SCHOOL!

John Cena and The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) come out for their match.  They show Miz screwing Randy Orton in the 10-man tag last week.  Miz cuts a promo and sends Riley to fight in his stead.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley (w/ The Miz).  They lock up.  Cena hits a snap mare.  Cole babbles about not knowing what year it is.  Cena outclasses Riley some more.  Riley lands an elbow smash.  Miz decks Cena behind the referee’s back.  Riley pounds on Cena.  Cena fights back, but misses Riley in the corner and eats turnbuckle pads.  Riley beats up Cena some more.  Riley hits a move that we don’t see because the camera was focused on Miz for 2.  Retarded camera work in this match.  Cena makes his comeback.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, then locks in the STF for the win in 3:43.  It was fine.

Randy Orton runs out and brawls with Miz.  Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty jump Orton.  Orton kicks their asses.  Cena and Orton face off and brawl.  The old school referees and officials (including Tony Garea!) break them up.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker.  Ugh.  iBooker says that later tonight, Cena and Orton will be guests on Piper’s Pit!  Thank God we don’t have to suffer through another Orton/Cena match tonight.  Commercials!

The recognized symbol of excellence in sports entertainment!  They play that and the open again.  I don’t know why, and I don’t care.  It’s cool.

Cole and Lawler talk.

Howard Finkel introduces The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff!  Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem.  In 2010.  Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov come out.  Kozlov wants to sing the Soviet anthem with Volkoff!  They sing!  This rules!  Santino stops them because it’s awful.  He wants to sing his own song.  He brings out THE DOCTOR OF STYLE, SLICK!  SLICK COMES OUT TO JIVE SOUL BRO!  THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW EVER!  Sheik babbles incoherently.  I can’t believe they gave that man a live mic.  The Usos come out.  We’ve got a tag title #1 Contender match next.  In the Usos’ corner will be JIMMY “SUPERFLY” SNUKA!  Commercials.

WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka & Tamina).  JIP.  The Usos get the heat on Santino.  Santino hits Jey with a judo throw and gator rolls him to the corner.  Kozlov tags in and hits Jey with a fall away slam.  Santino tags in and hits a slam thingy for 2.  Kozlov tags back in and beats up Jey some more.  Jimmy blind tags in and takes out Kozlov’s leg.  Jimmy hits a jumping headbutt for 2.  Jimmy hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Jimmy works a rear chin lock.  Kozlov breaks free and knocks Jimmy across the ring with a battering ram headbutt.  Jey tags in and cuts Kozlov off from making the tag.  Santino gets knocked off the apron, then distracts the referee so his partner can get double teamed.  The Usos work over Kozlov.  Jimmy tries to knock Santino off again, but Santino decks him.  Kozlov makes the hot tag to Santino, who runs wild on Jimmy.  Confusion ensues.  Actually, I think that’s Jey getting run wild upon.  Santino hits the Cobra on Jey for the pin (about 5 1/2 minutes shown).  This wasn’t any good.

Sheamus runs in, drops Kozlov and the Usos, and goes after Santino.  Santino begs off.  John Morrison appears, low bridges Sheamus out of the ring, and knocks him off the apron with an enzuigiri.  Morrison says he keeps attacking Sheamus because Sheamus is a bully who will run away when confronted.  He challenges Sheamus to fight.  Sheamus does just as Morrison said he would and leaves.

Tonight, Piper’s Pit with Cena and Orton!  Commercials!

The Survivor Series song is some crappy song by some crappy band.

David Otunga vs. Kofi Kingston.  Inset promo from Kingston!  Kingston lands some leg kicks, then grabs a side headlock.  Otunga catches a cross body and slams Kingston.  Otunga slams Kingston again.  And again.  Cover gets 2.  Otunga grabs a headlock.  Kofi fights out.  Otunga hits what Cole calls an elbow but what looked to me like a back butt for 2.  Otunga grabs a chin lock.  Kofi fights back and starts his comeback.  Double clothesline spot.  George “The Animal” Steele comes out and teases eating the turnbuckle pad.  The referee stops him, so he eats one in a different corner.  Otunga is back on his feet and his like “WTF?”  Kofi gets up and rams his head into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 4:50.  Heh.

Gerald Brisco and Arn Anderson compliment John Morrison on dealing with Sheamus.  Sheamus hits Morrison with the pump kick out of nowhere and accepts his challenge for a match… at Survivor Series.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Aksana walks around backstage with the Million Dollar Championship.  “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan shows up to tell her that her mom is there.  Huh?  It’s Dusty Rhodes with a curly blond wig.  He has Kelly Kelly drop a net on her.  Goldust steals the Million Dollar belt back from her.  He returns the belt to it’s rightful owner, “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase.  Irwin R. Schyster promises to find him a good tax shelter.  Dibiase tries to give the belt back to his son, Ted Dibiase Jr., but Jr. doesn’t want it.  Cody Rhodes says “that ended far from dashing.”  Goldust and Cody walk away.  Dusty says “I raised some weird kids.”  They play Dusty’s “Common Man” theme.  Dusty, Tatanka, and Hacksaw dance. Ron Simmons sees this and says “DAMN!”  Funny stuff.

Earlier tonight, SHIT WENT DOWN between John Cena and Randy Orton.

R-Truth and Eve Torres are headed our way!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

“Promotional Consideration Paid For By The Following…”  R.D. Reynolds just WrestleCrapped his pants.

R-Truth (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Wade Barrett.  They brawl.  Truth flips around and hits the break dancing kick.  Truth clotheslines Barrett out of the ring and hits him with a somersault dive.  Back inside, Truth goes up top.  Barrett goes to cut him off.  Truth jumps over him, but Barrett catches Truth with a sidewalk slam.  Barrett his a suplex for 2.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett his a backbreaker for 2.  John Cena and Randy Orton are both show watching backstage.  Truth gets an inside cradle that we almost missed for 2.  Barrett applies a rear chin lock.  Truth makes his comeback and gets a fancy cradle for 2.  Truth hits a front suplex for 2.  Barrett avoids the scissors kick and goes for the Wasteland.  Truth counters, but gets booted in the face.  Barrett hits the Wasteland for the pin in 5:06.  It was fine.

Tonight, Cena and Orton on Piper’s Pit!  Commercials!

They play the opens again.

Cole and Lawler goof off.

Ricardo Rodriguez is here!  That’s 3 ring announcers tonight.  Tito Santana comes out to cut him off and introduces Alberto Del Rio himself!  Del Rio has Chavo Classic driving him!  Del Rio cuts a promo.  He wants the other legends to kiss his ass like Tito and Chavo.  Sergeant Slaughter comes out and cuts an awesome promo.  “Shut your hole, puke, and listen up!  There’s 2 things you don’t mess with: Legends and America!”  He challenges Del Rio to a match.  Del Rio accepts.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sergeant Slaughter.  Del Rio beats on Slaughter.  Slaughter locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Del Rio gets a rope break and elbows Sarge in the face.  Del Rio hits a clothesline for 2.  Del Rio applies a rear chin lock.  Slaughter fights out.  Del Rio beats him up some more.  Sarge locks in the Cobra Clutch again.  Del Rio backs him into the corner and breaks free, then whips Sarge into the corner and hits an enzuigiri for the pin in 1:54.  It was what it was.  Del Rio applies the cross armbreaker after the match.  MVP comes out and runs off Del Rio.

Mean Gene plugs WWE merchandise again.  Commercials.

Cole and Lawler talk.  Cole is being a dick,

WrestleMania tickets went on sale last weekend!

Mean Gene Okerlund brings out Mae Young!  She’s escorted by the Bella Twins.  Poor thing.  They show a really old black & white picture.  Mae was a babe in her day.  They show a video package on some of her exploits.  Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out to be obnoxious bitches and ruin a feel good moment.  Mae Young wants a match “with these sluts!”  She’s a feisty old gal!  “You little bitches, let’s go!”  LayCool laugh.  The bell rings.  This is a real match!  Falls count anywhere!

Handicap Falls Count Anywhere Match: Mae Young (w/ The Bella Twins) vs. Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla.  Natalya, Gail Kim, Melina, and Eve Torres come out and beat up LayCool.  Mae slaps Layla and pins her in 54 seconds!  Awesome!  Commercials!  That was AWESOME!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Howard Finkel introduces JIM ROSS to do commentary on the next match!  YAY!  Michael Cole is not happy about this.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger.  It’s so good to hear J.R. again.  Bryan and Swagger lock up.  Awesome grappling.  Danielson counters out of the ankle lock and lands a Mirko Cro Cop head kick.  Cole needs to shut the fuck up and let J.R. talk.  More awesome grappling on the mat.  Danielson leapfrogs Swagger and  lands a dropkick for 1.  Danielson back flips over Swagger and gets booted in the face.  Commercials.  Cole needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP RUINING THE MOMENT.  Jim Ross welcomes us back to Raw as Swagger has Bryan in a hold.  Cole is BEING A FUCKING IGNORANT PRICK AND NEEDS TO FUCK OFF AND DIE.  Swagger beats up Bryan.  Swagger gator rolls Bryan out of the ring and pounds him on the apron.  I’d give my right nut for the chance to punch Michael Cole in the face right now.  Bryan low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  COLE NEEDS TO FUCK OFF.  Danielson lands a baseball slide dropkick, then hits a flying knee off the apron!  STOP CUTTING TO COLE, YOU FUCKS!  Back inside, Danielson hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan kicks the crap out of Swagger.  Swagger catches his leg and goes for the ankle lock.  Bryan flips Swagger into the corner, then misses Swagger in the corner and hurts himself.  SHUT UP, COLE!  Swagger hits a Vader Bomb for 2.  Lawler finally tells Cole to “shut the hell up.”  Swagger hits another Vader Bomb.  He goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Danielson dead weights him and goes for the LeBell Lock.  Swagger counters into a backbreaker.  Danielson counters the Doctor Bomb again and lands the high kick for the pin in 10:44.  Awesome match that even Cole’s retardation couldn’t ruin.  Ted Dibiase Jr. appears and hits Bryan with the Dream Street, then poses with the United States title belt as his awful music plays.  Maryse comes out just so they can leave together.  Cole needs to fuck off and die.

Survivor Series hype.

J.R. slaps Cole with his cowboy hat!  YAY!

Orton and Cena are headed our way!  Commercials!

Promotional consideration paid for by the following!

Justin Roberts introduces the legends to the crowd: Jimmy Snuka, Bob Orton Jr., Irwin R. Schyster, Tito Santana, Sergeant Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Brooklyn Brawler, Chavo Classic, Mean Gene Okerlund, Howard Finkel, Mae Young, Gerald Brisco, Ted Dibiase, Slick, Tatanka, Tony Atlas, Arn Anderson, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes, George Steele, Jim Ross, The Iron Sheik, and Nikolai Volkoff.  That’s nice!  “Hey, here’s a bunch of our agents and other guys we’ve fired a bunch of times!” -My buddy mhirn.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper comes out to do Piper’s Pit!  He cuts a promo, then introduces John Cena.  Piper bitches at Cena about disrespecting legends by possibly giving Wade Barrett the WWE Championship this Sunday.  He urges Cena to do the ring thing.  Cena replies at length about his respect for the legends.  He says he’ll call the match right down the middle.  That means he’s going to screw someone.  Wade Barrett comes out and says that’s fine, because he doesn’t need help to win, but Cena is still fired if Barrett loses.  Piper bitches Barrett out in awesome crazy old man style.  Barrett bitches at Piper, then Cena.  He forces Cena to put on a Nexus t-shirt.  Why the hell is he just now doing that?  Cena puts the shirt on, then tells Barrett he’s going to turn his face into mush on Sunday.  Barrett says Nexus will kick Cena’s ass before he can hurt Barrett.  WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out, talks to Cena for a minute, then beats up Barrett.  Orton humps the mat.  Cena intervenes before Orton can hit the RKO or come or whatever he’s trying to do.  Orton RKOs Cena and goes for the PUNT OF DEATH.  Barrett cuts him off.  Cena avoids the punt and hits the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett orders Cena to raise his hand.  Cena gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment instead.  He takes off the Nexus shirt and throws it on Barrett.  Piper raises Cena’s hand to close the show.  Why isn’t Miz cashing in right now while the getting is good?

I don’t care if most of the wrestling sucked (I say “most” because Bryan vs. Swagger was awesome), this show ruled!

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 11/12/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video from Raw of Wade Barrett bitching at David Otunga and ordering him to invade Smackdown again and face Edge.  If he loses, he’s out of Nexus.  Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, David Otunga vs. Edge and Big Show vs. Kane!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Edge comes out to cut a promo.  He says he plans on going into WrestleMania next year as World Champion.  He goes on to say that he’ll send David Otunga to the unemployment line tonight.  The 5 less important members of The Nexus come out and surround Edge.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that Teddy Long was detained at customs, so she’s in charge.  She tells Otunga that he’ll lose if any Nexus members interfere get in the ring.  She hypes the matches we’ve already been informed of, adding that the Edge/Otunga match will be a Lumberjack Match.  She orders Edge and Otunga to shake hands “like British gentlemen.”  Edge refuses.  Vickie threatens to take his title shot away.  Edge shakes Otunga’s hand, then spears him off the apron onto Nexus.

Alberto Del Rio arrives in a fancy car.  Apparently he drives to the arena in his gear.  Grisham implies that he drove from Mexico.  I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a joke or not.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Manchester!

Ricardo Rodriguez came all the way to England just to introduce Alberto Del Rio!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston.  Del Rio wins the lock up and lightly pats Kofi’s kick.  Kofi kicks his ass in retaliation.  Kofi lands a dropkick for 2.  Del Rio boots Kofi in the face and hits a clothesline.  Del Rio works over Kofi.  Kofi leapfrogs Del Rio twice and hits an elbow smash.  Kofi lands corner punches and a European uppercut.  Del Rio bails.  He tries to dash back in, but Kofi dropkicks him and hits him with a tope suicida.  Kofi throws Del Rio back into the ring and covers for 2.  Del Rio backdrops Kofi to the apron and knocks him to the floor with an enzuigiri.  Commercials.  Del Rio works a rear chin lock, then throws Kofi to the mat for 2.  Del Rio beats up Kofi.  Kofi makes his comeback.  Kofi hits a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi hits a jumping chop that idiot Grisham always calls a Superman punch.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Del Rio bails to avoid it.  Kofi goes after him like an idiot and gets his arm pulled into the post.  Back inside, Del Rio hits the Minoru Special for the submission win in 11:32.  Decent match.  Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out after the match and gives Del Rio the 619.

The 4 least important members of Nexus discuss the problems they’ve encountered tonight.  David Otunga comes in and pleas for help.  I assume they agree to have his back.  Sorry, I spaced.

Tonight, Big Show vs. Kane!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Non-Title: Natalya vs. Unified WWE Divas Champion Layla.  They actually do some chain wrestling.  Pimp.  Natalya hits a stalling suplex for 2.  Layla lands some kicks and drops Natalya on the apron.  Cover gets 2.  Layla rams Natalya’s face into the mat and applies a wonky head scissors.  Natalya stands up, rams Layla into the corner, and turns it into something of a backbreaker.  Natalya avoids a leg drop and hits a body slam and a discus lariat.  Natalya hits a butterfly suplex for 2.  Layla sends Natalya into the corner.  Natalya counters a kick and locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 3:27.  Fine.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane and Paul Bearer are in their weird, creepy area backstage.  Kane talks while weird, creepy music plays in the background.

Otunga vs. Edge in a Lumberjack Match NEXT!  Commercials!

Lumberjack Match: Edge vs. David Otunga (w/ WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater, Michael McGillicutty, & Husky Harris).  The lumberjacks are the aforementioned members of The Nexus, Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Drew McIntyre, Goldust, Finlay, WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler, Kaval, Tyson Kidd, Chris Masters, Primo, Tyler Reks, MVP, and Alberto Del Rio.  Yes, there’s at least 3 Raw guys out there besides Nexus.  The other lumberjacks chases Nexus to the stage.  Edge beats up Otunga and sends him outside.  The lumberjacks rough him up a bit and throw him back in.  Otunga realizes he has nowhere to bail to.  Commercials, less than a minute into the match.  Let’s hope there’s less than a minute left when they come back.  Edge throws Otunga outside to get beaten up again.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Edge gets sent outside.  Nobody attacks him until Del Rio trips him on the apron just to be a dick.  Edge’s face smacks the apron.  MVP and Del Rio argue.  Otunga works over Edge for a while, so there goes my interest for a bit.  Edge hits a backdrop suplex and makes his comeback.  Edge gets a schoolboy for 2.  Edge hits a flapjack, then hits Del Rio with a baseball slide dropkick.  That’s the cue for the lumberjacks to start brawling.  Edge hits the Edgecution and sets up for the spear.  Michael McGillicutty comes in and gets spear.  Kane comes in through the crowd and chokeslams Edge behind the referee’s back.  Otunga covers for the pin in 9:51 to keep his job.  Dammit.  Match was lame too.

Tonight, Show vs. Kane!  Next, Dolph Ziggler defends the Intercontinental Championship against MVP!  Commercials.

Last week, MVP beat Drew McIntyre and Cody Rhodes to earn an Intercontinental title shot!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  They lock up.  MVP gets a schoolboy for 1, then a jackknife hold for 1, then another schoolboy for 2.  MVP hits a press slam and a sliding Yakuza kick.  Ziggler falls out of the ring.  Commercials less than a minute in.  Ziggler stomps on MVP and lands an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler applies a scissored rear chin lock.  MVP gets a schoolboy for 2.  He goes for the corner Yakuza kick, but Ziggler kicks him in the face and goes for the Flair pin.  MVP kicks out.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler tries to remove a turnbuckle pad.  The referee goes to correct it.  MVP gets an inside cradle, but the referee doesn’t see it in time and Ziggler manages to kick out.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler goes back to the scissored chin lock.  MVP fights out, avoids Ziggler in the corner, and eats an elbow smash.  MVP catches Ziggler with a clothesline and makes his comeback.  Knee facebuster gets 2.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow and covers.  Ziggler gets his foot on the bottom rope.  MVP sets up a superplex.  Ziggler fights him off, dives, and eats a Yakuza kick.  Cover gets 2.  Ziggler kicks MVP in the leg and hits a half assed Zig Zag for the pin in 8:34.  Good match, much better than I expected.  Apparently MVP’s foot was on the bottom rope, but the referee didn’t see it.

Stand up for WWE!

Kane finds his weird backstage lair disrupted.  At least his creepy music is still playing.  He finds Paul Bearer’s urn on the ground.  Commercials.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out to cut a promo about British oral hygiene.  They show one of his grooming tips videos where he talks about oral hygiene.

Kane runs around backstage looking for Paul Bearer and assaulting a random pedestrian.

Tale of the Tape for Kane vs. Big Show.  Commercials.

Manchester!

Knucklehead!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Kane vs. The Big Show.  They brawl.  Show hits a shoulder block for 2.  Show beats up Kane.  Kane dropkicks Show’s knee.  Kane beats up Show.  Show drops him with an elbow and HITS A VADER BOMB for 2.  I’ve never seen Show hit that.  Kane recovers from being pancaked.  They goozle each other.  Show wins the goozle contest.  Kane fights out and hits a clothesline that sends them both out of the ring.  We are shown that Paul Bearer is bound and gagged in a wheelchair, watching the match backstage.  Commercials.  Show works Kane’s arm.  Kane comes back and pounds on Show.  Kane hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Kane applies a rear chin lock.  This is so boring.  It was fun before the commercial.  They should have given this 5 minutes instead of 10+.  Show lands a shoulder block that sends Kane out of the ring.  Kane pulls Show into the top rope to get the advantage, then goes up top.  Show tries to cut him off.  Kane knocks him down and hits the diving lariat for 2.  Kane applies his rear chin lock again.  Show hits a backdrop suplex to escape.  Show makes his comeback.  Kane hits the diving lariat again and signals for the chokeslam.  Edge comes out to the stage with Paul Bearer bound and gagged in the wheelchair.  Edge talks at Kane for a while.  Edge threatens to push Bearer off the stage.  Show chokeslams Kane for the pin in 14:35.  The latter two thirds of this match were horribly boring.  Edge takes Bearer to the back.

This show was pretty shitty aside from one really good match (MVP/Ziggler, which I had incredibly low expectations for).

WWE Monday Night Raw 11/1/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out to cut a promo.  He says if John Cena is going to screw him at Survivor Series, he wants Cena to tell him to his face.  John Cena comes out and talks about his plight.  Orton says Cena is a PHONY if he screws Orton at Survivor Series.  They bicker for a while and talk shit about Wade Barrett.  The Nexus come out.  They’re back up to 7 members: Cena, Barrett, David Otunga, Michael McGillicutty, Husky Harris, and WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater.  Barrett says Cena will raise his hand as WWE Champion at Survivor Series.  Cena and Barrett banter.  Cena says either way, at Survivor Series, he’s gonna beat the hell out of Barrett.  Orton talks some smack to Barrett as well and challenges him to come to the ring.  Barrett starts walking.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000, which books Barrett & a partner of his choice vs. Orton & a partner of his choice with Cena as the referee for TONIGHT!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Nexus vs. The Hart Dynasty.  Slater and Kidd start.  Kidd cranks on his arm.  Smith tags in and continues the arm work.  Smith hits a long stalling suplex for 2.  Gabriel tags in and beats up Smith.  They make quick tags and work over Smith.  Kidd gets the tag and runs wild.  Kidd hits Gabriel with the spinning fisherman suplex for 2.  Slater saves.  Smith throws Slater out and beats him up.  Kidd sends Gabriel outside.  Slater pushes Smith into Gabriel.  Kidd accidentally hits Smith with a dive.  Back inside, Gabriel drops Kidd with a kick and hits the 450 splash for the pin in 3:52.  Fine little match.  This isn’t going to help the dissension between the Harts!

John Cena is sulking in the locker room.  R-Truth comes in to chat with him.  He wants to know what Cena is going to do at Survivor Series.  Cena says he doesn’t know.  Truth is annoyed.  Cena leaves.  Commercials.

Tonight’s guest star is Pee Wee Herman!

Sheamus comes out.  They show him losing in ridiculous fashion to Santino Marella last week.  Sheamus cuts a promo and challenges him to a rematch.  Santino comes out and says he went trick or treating as Sheamus and he can’t wrestle tonight because he ate too much candy.  He introduces his replacement, Vladimir Kozlov.  Kozlov says “Sheamus, you talk funny!  Now, I crush you!”

Sheamus vs. Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Santino Marella).  They lock up.  Kozlov takes Sheamus down.  Sheamus fights back and hits a reverse DDT backbreaker for 2.  Kozlov hits the double underhook headbutts and a big boot.  Cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Sheamus hits the Polish hammer and the pump kick for the pin in 1:44.  Not a bad little >2 minute matches.  Santino goes for the Cobra, but Sheamus steps on his hand.  Sheamus stalks Santino.  Santino offers him money, his credit card, and a check.  Sheamus shoves him, then goes for Razor’s Edge on the stage.  John Morrison appears and makes the save.  Santino celebrates still being alive.  Fun segment.

R-Truth tells Randy Orton that he thinks John Cena is going to fuck him.  Orton seems unsurprised.  Truth is an idiot.  Orton invites Truth to be his partner tonight.  Truth agrees.  Commercials.

Mark Henry is on the phone with Pee Wee Herman.  Except they’re standing right next to each other.  Henry is upset about Evan Bourne being out.  Herman is upset about a splinter he got recently.  Henry wants a tag team partner and a hug.  He squeezes Herman to hard.  Eve Torres, The Bella Twins, Melina, and Henry play Twister.  Herman rants about something.  Lita randomly appears and knocks over the goofs playing Twister.  The fuck?  Commercials.

WWE loves the troops!

Zack Ryder vs. Ezekiel Jackson.  Ryder goes on the attack.  Zeke mauls him.  Zeke hits a press slam.  Ryder tries to fight back.  Zeke hits the Book of Ezekiel for the pin in 42 seconds.  Yay for Zeke squashing geeks!

Tonight, Orton & R-Truth vs. Barrett & Otunga with Cena as the referee!

Pee Wee Herman is up next!  Commercials.

Pee Wee Herman comes out.  He says the secret word for tonight is “ring.”  When someone says it, a bell will go off.  The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  I’ve never been so happy to see The Miz.  Miz insults Herman.  Herman makes 1st grade comebacks.  Miz says “ring” and the bell goes off.  Riley explains the secret word.  Miz says “ring” again.  Herman mimicks both of them.  The stupidity continues.  Herman says his “cousin” is here.  Miz tells him to bring it on.  The Big Show comes out dressed as Pee Wee Herman.   Show throws Miz and Riley out of the ring.  Herman says “ring,” so the stupid bell rings again.  iBooker sends an email.  I’ve never been so happy about that.  It books Miz vs. “The Big Pee Wee.”  Show and Herman dance.  Silliness.  Just, silliness.  Commercials.

The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. The Big Show.  Show beats up Miz.  Miz bails.  Miz comes back in.  Show beats him up some more.  Show squashes Miz with an elbow drop for 2.  Miz kicks at Show’s leg and punches him, trying to get him down.  He finally drops Show with a dropkick to the knees.  Cole and Riley miz in their pants over Miz getting the advantage.  Show stands up with Miz on his back, falls back, and squashes him.  Show goes for a Vader Bomb, but Miz moves to avoid certain death.  Miz covers for 1.  Show throws him off.  Miz puts the boots to Show.  Miz hits a diving axe handle smash.  Make that 2.  The third one drops Show.  Cover gets 2.  Show makes his comeback.  Show goes for the Ho Train, but Miz avoids it.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Riley gets on the apron.  Show sends Miz into him.  Miz gets a hold of the Money In The Bank briefcase and hits Show with it to get himself DQ’d in 6:49.  Not a bad little match.

Stand up for WWE!

Wade Barrett orders John Cena to clean his locker room and give him a bath after the match tonight.  That’s just weird.  Barrett leaves.  David Otunga comes in and says he’ll be the one who wins tonight because he’s more talented than everyone.  What’s Otunga’s talent?  It damn sure isn’t pro wrestling.  Commercials.

Goldust and Aksana get hitched tomorrow night on NXT!

Non-Title: Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  They lock up.  Bryan lands some kicks.  Dibiase catches Bryan with a knee lift and beats him up.  Dibiase whips Bryan hard into the corner.  “DANIEL BRYAN!” chants.  Bryan fights back, tries to go up top, and takes a bump to the floor.  Back inside, Dibiase pounds on Bryan.  Dibiase is bringing it with the intensity tonight.  Dibiase applies a rear chin lock.  Bryan gets a crucifix hold for 2.  Bryan gets an Oklahoma roll for 2.  Bryan flips over Dibiase in the corner and hits his clothesline.  Bryan kicks the crap out of Dibiase some more.  Dibiase catches him with a sit-out spinebuster for 2.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street, but Bryan counters into the LeBell Lock for the win in 3:43.  Good little TV match.  Dibiase wines to Maryse about not having his Million Dollar belt.

Orton & Truth vs. Barrett & Otunga with Cena as the referee TONIGHT!  Commercials.

Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out to make me wish I was deaf.  They say Natalya can have another title shot at Survivor Series if she beats McCool tonight.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool (w/ Unified WWE Divas Champion Layla) vs. Natalya.  Natalya hits a fireman carry into an armbar.  McCool counters into a body scissors.  Natalya escapes and drops McCool face first.  Natalya goes to the second rope and gets pulled down.  Cover gets 2.  McCool beats up Natalya.  McCool applies a body scissors for about 3 days.  Natalya escapes and fights back.  McCool hits a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter.  McCool bails.  Hijinks ensue until LayCool knock into each other.  McCool accidentally kicks Layla in the face.  Natalya schoolgirls McCool for the pin in 3:21.  Meh.

Somewhere in a hospital room, Vince McMahon is on a coma.  Really?  Commercials.

The “doctor” talks to a comatose Vince McMahon.  He mentions that Linda has spent $50 Million on this stupid election, which wakes Vince up from his coma.  Vince says he hates politics, but as long as things are okay in WWE… The doctor tells him Undertaker has been buried, Nexus is stronger than ever, John Cena is a member of Nexus, Paul Bearer is back, Goldust is getting married, and Pee Wee Herman has taken over Raw.  Vince says “Next thing you’re gonna tell me is Daniel Bryan is United States Champion?”  Vince gets up to go to the bathroom and says he might run for president.  He goes to the bathroom and we see he has one of Linda’s opponents’ campaign things on his ass.  Then we see Stephanie McMahon waking up and realizing THAT THE SEGMENT WE JUST SAW WAS HER DREAMING.  WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS?  THIS IS TNA LEVELS OF FUCKING RETARDED.  THIS IS WCW 1999/2000 LEVELS OF FUCKING RETARDED.  WHAT THE FUCK?

Long Island.  Fucking retarded WWE.

John Cena comes out in referee garb.  The main event is next.  Commercials.

Wade Barrett & David Otunga vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton & R-Truth.  John Cena is the guest referee.  Orton and Otunga lock up.  Otunga stomps Orton in the corner.  Cena gives him the five count.  Orton beats up Otunga.  Barrett tags in and gets caught with a clothesline by Orton.  Orton beats up Barrett.  Orton gives Cena the five count in the corner.  Orton argues with him.  Barett schoolboys Orton for 2.  Orton stupidly goes to argue with Cena again.  Barrett attacks him from behind.  Otunga tags in, gets beaten up, and bails.  Orton follows and beats him up outside.  Otunga reverses Orton into the steps.  Otunga throws Orton back in and covers for 2.  Barrett tags in and beats up Orton.  Orton hits Barrett with a backdrop suplex.  Otunga and Truth tag in.  Truth runs wild on his NXT Season 1 rookie.  Truth hits his dancing kick for 2.  Barrett blind tags himself in and hits Truth with a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett goes for a diving elbow drop, but Truth avoids it.  Orton gets the hot tag… but Cena was distracted by Otunga!  They argue about whether or not a tag was made while Barrett and Otunga beat up Truth.  Truth continues to play face in peril.  Otunga and Truth cross body each other.  I swear, that’s the new double clothesline spot.  Barrett tags in, but Cena was distracted by Orton!  Orton hits the RKO on Otunga as Cena holds Barrett back.  Truth gets the pin on Otunga in 8:49.  Alright match.  Barrett bitches at Cena.  Cena says he called it right down the middle!  Orton holds the belt and glares at Barrett.

This show was about half decent and half stupid shit.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 10/29/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, weird Undertaker video package.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane and Paul Bearer are on the stage at the grave site, which they apparently moved from Minneapolis to Milwaukee.  Kane cuts yet another long promo.  The ring is all funeral’d out.  Alberto Del Rio comes out.  I’ve never been so happy to see him.  Del Rio wants a title shot.  Kane screams at him.  Del Rio drops Kane.  Rey Mysterio comes out to run off Del Rio, then gives Paul Bearer the 619.  Kane takes out Mysterio.  Edge runs out and spears Kane.  His music plays, so I guess he won the fight.

Alberto Del Rio bitches at Teddy Long in Spanish.  He wants a title shot.  Long books Del Rio vs. Edge vs. Mysterio in a #1 Contender match for TONIGHT!

Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  Ziggler takes Bryan down.  Bryan tries an armbar from the bottom, but fails.  Ziggler stomps on him, then land an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler beats up Bryan.  Dropkick gets 2.  ZIggler applies a rear chin lock.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  Bryan fights out of a hold.  They trade shots.  Bryan lands some kicks, flips over Ziggler from the corner, and lands a lariat.  Bryan hits a diving chop.  Ziggler rolls out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Bryan catches Ziggler with another hard kick.  Ziggler avoids a dive and hits the Fameasser for 2.  Bryan gets a backslide for 2.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but Bryan counters and hits a corner dropkick.  They counter suplex attempts.  Bryan suplexes Ziggler and they both fall out of the ring.  They both beat the count back in.  They trade shots from their knees and on their feet.  Ziggler boots Bryan in the face.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock.  Ziggler counters and catapults Bryan into the turnbuckles, then locks in the sleeper hold.  Bryan fights out, bumping the ref in the process.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag.  Vickie counts the pinfall.  The referee isn’t having that crap.  Bryan kicks Ziggler in the head for the pin (9:14 shown).  Another really good match between these two.  Vickie screams at the referee.

Tonight, Edge vs. Mysterio vs. Del Rio!

WWE.com plug.

Josh Matthews interviews Paul Bearer, who is still selling his face.  Kane comes in and looks constipated.

Stand up for WWE!

Kelly Kelly is checking herself out in the mirror.  Cody Rhodes moves in to check himself out.  They babble about whatever.  The Big Show comes in and challenges Rhodes to a match.  Rhodes says he’s a tag team wrestler.  Show says he can find a partner since people actually like him.  Show does a Drew McIntyre impersonation.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Jack Swagger (w/ The Swagger Soaring Eagle) vs. Kaval.  Swagger uses his wrestling.  Kaval uses his kicking the crap out of people.  Swagger catches a cross body and hits a World’s Strongest Slam for 2.  Swagger hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger applies a bear hug.  Kaval hits a hurricanrana to escape, then hits a running knee to the corner, which gets the dead crowd to pop.  Kaval hits a flying knee to the back for 2.  Kaval lands a koppou kick, counters a German, and hits a double stomp for 2.  Kaval goes up top.  Swagger tries to cut him off, but Kaval jumps over him.  Swagger rams Kaval’s leg into the post, then hits him with an enzui lariat.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 4:02.  Decent little match.

Divas Halloween costume contest NEXT!

WWEShop.com!

Earlier tonight, SHIT WENT DOWN between Kane, Alberto Del Rio, Rey Mysterio, and Edge.  Later tonight, triple threat match between the 3 of those dudes who aren’t Kane!

Teddy Long and Hornwsoggle are in the ring to do the divas costume contest deal.  The Bella Twins are dressed as Batman & Robin.  Alicia Fox is Cleopatra.  Kelly Kelly is Little Bo Peep.  Rosa Mendez is a leprechaun.  Melina is Spider-Woman.  Looks more like The Flash to me.  Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla are Lady Gaga and Beyonce, respectively.  Of course, it wouldn’t be WWE TV without LayCool being fucking obnoxious and me being forced to listen to McCool’s nail on a chalkboard voice.  Cowboy Hornswoggle keeps order with squirt guns.  Long announces an 8-diva tag match for RIGHT NOW.  Ugh.

Melina, Kelly Kelly, & The Bella Twins vs. Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla, Alicia Fox, & Rosa Mendez.  Batman Bella and Layla start.  Layla dances.  Batman clotheslines her.  McCool tags in.  Batman and Robin hit her with a double clothesline.  Fox tags in.  Robin takes her over and tags in Melina.  Insta-commercials.  Kelly and Rosa do some horrible, clumsy looking shit.  Kelly hits a neckbreaker.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Kelly hits the Fameasser for the pin (about 2 1/2 minutes shown).  Crap.

Edge and Rey Mysterio chat backstage.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre come out and cut a promo.  They want a tag title shot.  Aren’t they automatically entitled to one?  They name their team “The Dashing Ones.”

The Dashing Ones vs. The Big Show & Kofi Kingston.  McIntyre and Kingston trade arm locks.  McIntyre grabs a side headlock, then knocks down Kofi.  Kofi hits a monkey flip for 2.  Show tags in and beats up McIntyre.  Kofi tags in and hits a slingshot elbow drop for 2.  Rhodes tags in and beats up Kingston.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  The Dashing Ones get the heat on Kofi, attacking his leg in vicious ways.  Kofi knocks Drew outside.  Rhodes throws him back in.  He rolls right back out anyway.  Show gets the hot tag and destroys Rhodes.  I guess there was a tag.  McIntyre comes back in.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Rhodes saves.  Show chokeslams Rhodes for the pin in 8:13.  Okay match.

Edge vs. Mysterio vs. Del Rio is NEXT!

The Dashing Ones argue backstage.  Aww, they just named their team and they’re breaking up?

WWE encourages kids to read!

Tony Chimel introduces Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez.  The main event is NEXT!  FOR REAL THIS TIME!

Goldust and Aksana get hitched on NXT NEXT WEEK!

Triple Threat World Heavyweight Title #1 Contender Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Edge.  Mysterio attacks Del Rio immediately.  Del Rio drops Mysterio with a clothesline.  Edge drops Del Rio with a spin kick.  Edge puts the boots to Del Rio, then throws Mysterio out of the ring.  Rey slips back in as Edge slips out.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Del Rio beats up Mysterio.  Del Rio throws Mysterio into the post.  Edge schoolboys Del Rio for 2.  Del Rio beats up Edge.  Edge lands a forearm, then clotheslines Del Rio, taking them both out of the ring.  Mysterio hits them both with a diving cross body.  Insta-commercials.  Del Rio stomps and chokes Mysterio in the corner.  Del Rio pulls Mysterio’s armpit into the post.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold into the middle turnbuckle, the hits a dropkick to the corner.  Mysterio kicks Edge to keep him out.  Del Rio whips Mysterio into Edge.  Edge sunset flips Del Rio as Del Rio German suplexes Mysterio.  Cool spot.  Edge gets 2 on Del Rio.  Edge sends Mysterio out of the ring and beats on Del Rio.  Del Rio pulls Edge’s head into the top rope.  Mysterio trips Del Rio, who hits his face on the apron.  Mysterio sends Edge into the steps with a headscissors.  Back inside, Mysterio hits a diving splash on Edge for 2.  Mysterio dropkicks Del Rio to keep him outside.  Mysterio goes for the 619 on Edge, but Del Rio trips him and pulls him out of the ring.  Del Rio comes in and gets flapjacked by Edge.  Cover gets 2.  Del Rio counters the Edge-O-Matic with a gorgeous German suplex hold for 2.  Edge hits a clotheslines Del Rio, then goes up top.  Mysterio crotches him and goes for a Frankensteiner.  Edge counters.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special.  Edge hits Del Rio with a diving elbow drop for 2.  Triple clothesline spot.  Del Rio beats up Edge.  Del Rio catapults Mysterio into a seated senton on Edge.  Del Rio goes for a powerbomb, but Mysterio hits a rana and the 619.  Edge spears Mysterio off the apron and covers Del Rio for 2.  Del Rio goes for a move, but Edge turns it into the Edgecution.  Edge goes for the spear, but Rodriguez grabs his foot.  Del Rio hits Edge with the enzuigiri.  Mysterio saves with a diving leg drop and covers Del Rio for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Del Rio him up on his shoulders.  Edge spears Del Rio for the pin (12:20 shown).  Really good match.  World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out, makes his pyro go off, and poses with the belt.  They’ll meet at Survivor Series for the title!

Pretty good show this week!

WWE Monday Night Raw 10/25/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers LIVE from Green Bay!  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

The Nexus come out: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, and the NEW WWE Tag Team Champions John Cena & David Otunga.  Barrett introduces all of them.  They show photos of the Nexus interfering in the Buried Alive Match last night.  Barrett says their motives are none of our business.  He orders Cena to explain what happened in the WWE Title match.  Cena explains that he helped Barrett win by DQ because he was about to get beat.  They bicker about specifics.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  It announces Randy Orton vs. any member of Nexus for tonight, with the winner getting to pick the referee for the Barrett/Orton rematch at Survivor Series.  Barrett says it will be Cena.  Cena/Orton round 32,000.  Joy.  Otunga bitches about Cena winning the tag titles for them last night.  Barrett says since they can’t get along, they’ll defend the titles against Gabriel and Slater.  He calls for a referee.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: John Cena & David Otunga (c) of the Nexus vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of the Nexus.  Barrett says the Nexus doesn’t fight amongst itself, so somebody has to lie down.  He orders Otunga to do the job.  Otunga complains, tags in, and sulks for a while.  He finally lays down.  Slater pins him in 2:50 to win the titles.  Way to bury the titles.

Tonight, Cena vs. Orton.  Joy.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Last Monday, Daniel Bryan locked Dolph Ziggler in the LeBell Lock!

Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlyn come out, just to make sure I don’t start to enjoy this show.  Vickie says Dolph got screwed by the referee, but tonight he will correct Smackdown’s one Bragging Rights blemish.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Kaitlyn) vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  CM Punk comes out to do commentary.  Ziggler takes Bryan down, then gets up.  Bryan tries to sucker him into getting on the ground with him, but Ziggler wants none of that.  Bryan hits Ziggler with a running kick, then does the ROCKING SURFBOARD!  Ziggler beats up Bryan and does a sweet cradle for 2.  Bryan lands a dropkick for 2.  Bryan sends Ziggler outside lands a tope suicida!  Commercials!  Boo commercials!  Why can’t we save the commercials for matches that suck?  Bryan is still rolling, hitting a lariat and a dropkick for 2.  Bryan hits a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock, but Ziggler reaches the ropes.  Bryan hits a Frankensteiner off the top rope!  Ziggler rolls through for 2!  Ziggler ducks a Buzzsaw kick and goes for the sleeper hold.  Bryan escapes, but Ziggler hits a superkick for 2.  Bryan avoids the Fameasser and goes for a cradle.  Ziggler cuts it back for 2.  They trade shots from their knees, then on their feet.  Ziggler hits a reverse powerslam for 2.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper again.  Bryan counters into the LeBell Lock.  Vickie pulls Ziggler’s foot under the bottom rope, but the referee doesn’t see it.  Ziggler taps in 11:03.  Really good match.  Ziggler tries to jump Bryan from behind, but Bryan catches him first, so he runs away.

WWE.com plug.

Tonight, Cena vs. Orton #489034.  Commercials.

Green Bay!

Green Bay Packers!

WWE encourages kids to read!

The Bella Twins give Toby Keith some kind of toy WWE title belt.  Santino Marella comes in dressed like a sheriff and sings horribly.  Sheamus comes in, insults Santino, and challenges him to a match tonight.  Santino agrees.

John Cena yells at Wade Barrett about the bullshit from earlier.  Barrett says he’s the boss.  Cena bitches about having to be Barrett’s bitch.  Barrett says if Cena beats Orton tonight, he’ll make Cena an offer he can’t refuse.  Commercials.

Last week, LayCool dressed up as members of the Hart Family and were obnoxious.

Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Melina & Gail Kim.  Melina runs wild on Layla.  Stupid hair takedown thing gets 2.  Layla kicks her in the face, then decks Gail on the apron.  Layla and Melina cross body each other.  McCool tags in and kicks Melina in the head for the pin in 1:04.  Garbage.  Pointless garbage.

The Miz and Alex Riley are headed our way!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz bitches about how the Raw team lost last night.  They show the cover of Smackdown vs. Raw 2011, which features Miz.  He blames everyone but himself for losing and challenge Rey Mysterio to face him on Raw next week.  Eve Torres comes out.  Miz talks shit about R-Truth.  Eve insults Miz a loser (with lots of adjectives).  Miz insults the Packers.  They go back and forth some more.  This is stupid.  Miz says he wants to fight a member of the Raw team.  R-Truth comes out.  Eve dances, so that’s a win.  Truth babbles some.  The iBooker 9000 sends an email that says “ding, ding, ding.”  The bell rings.

The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. R-Truth (w/ Eve Torres).  Truth beats up Miz.  He hits a hip toss, then clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  Commercials.  See, THIS is when we need a long commercial break.  Too soon, Miz covers for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Truth gets a schoolboy for 2.  Miz hits a clothesline, then beats on Truth.  Miz beats up Truth for a while.  Truth slaps Miz a bunch, then makes his comeback.  Truth hits a front suplex for 2.  Miz goes for his finish, but Truth turns it into kind of a backpack stunner for 2.  Truth sends Miz outside into the announce table.  Truth throws Miz back in the ring.  Riley cheap shots Miz.  Eve slaps Riley.  Miz tries to suplex Truth back in the ring, but Truth lands on his feet.  Something happens to Riley.  Truth gets a cradle for 2.  Miz avoids the scissors kick and hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 10:26.  Okay match I guess, it just didn’t excite me.

Tonight, Cena vs. Orton.  Commercials.

Guest star Toby Keith comes out, escorted by the Bella Twins.  Keith sucks up to the crowd, then plays ring announcer for the next match.

Sheamus vs. Santino Marella.  Santino is scared, but Keith psyches him up.  Santino tries a hip toss, but Sheamus blocks in and mauls him.  Sheamus goes for the pump kick, but Santino just falls.  Sheamus calls for him to get up.  John Morrison randomly comes out to encourage Santino.  Sheamus goes for the pump kick, but Santino falls down again.  Sheamus and Morrison argue.  Sheamus goes for the pump kick in the corner, but Morrison trips Santino to save him.  Santino kind of falls on top of Sheamus for the pin in 1:43.  Santino pinned Sheamus.  The fuck?  Commercials.

Green Bay!

Stand up for WWE!

Wade Barrett congratulates the NEW WWE Tag Team Champions, Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater.  David Otunga comes in.  He wants to cry to Wade Barrett… ALONE!  So he does.  Otunga says he made Barrett lay down because he’s jealous that he won gold and Barrett didn’t.  Otunga threatens to tell people why they attacked Undertaker.  Barrett calls in Michael McGillicutty and Husky Harris and says their officially in Nexus.  He implies that Otunga can get his ass in line or get it kicked.  Otunga says he’s Nexus.

Cena vs. Orton is NEXT!  Commercials.

Next week’s guest star is Pee Wee Herman.  Really?

Non-Title: John Cena (w/ Wade Barrett) vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton.  They look at each other for a while, then lock up.  Cena grabs a side headlock.  Orton drops Cena with a shoulder block.  Cena grabs the side headlock again.  This time, Cena hits the shoulder block.  Cena goes for a bulldog headlock, but Orton pushes him away.  Orton stomps on Cena.  Cena fights back.  Orton avoids a shoulder block and Cena sails out of the ring.  Orton stalks Cena.  Barrett stalks Orton.  Orton decks Barrett.  Commercials.  Orton has Cena in a rear chin lock.  SHOCK!  Cena powers out.  DOUBLE SHOCK!  Cena goes for the AA, which is easier to type than Attitude Adjustment.  Orton counters into a DDT for 2.  Orton beats up Cena.  Cena makes his comeback.  Cena goes for the AA.  Orton counters and goes for the RKO.  Cena counters and goes for the STF.  Orton counters and makes his comeback.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Cena backdrops him out of the ring.  Barrett tries to fuck with Orton, but Cena shoulder blocks him.  Cena says he has this shit.  Apparently he doesn’t, because Orton starts kicking his ass.  Cena reverses Orton into the barricade.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Orton counters the AA yet again and pulls Cena’s head across the top rope.  Cena locks Orton in the STF.  Barrett pulls the bottom rope away so Orton can’t reach it.  Cena releases the hold to bitch at Barrett.  Cena comes back in.  Orton dropkicks him to the apron.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  Cena counters the RKO and hits the AA for the pi…2!  Orton kicks out!  Cena picks Orton up.  Orton hits the RKO.  Cena rolls out of the ring.  Orton puts him back in.  Orton goes for the PUNT, but Barrett pulls Cena out of the ring and clotheslines him to cause the DQ in 15:36.  Cena wins!  Orton beats the shit out of Barrett!  The rest of Nexus run out and maul Orton!  Cena makes the save.  Barrett orders him to stop and orders Nexus out of the ring.  Barrett says Cena will be the referee of the match at Survivor Series.  If Barrett doesn’t win the title, Cena is fired.  If he does win the title, Cena can leave Nexus.  CONFLICT!  The match was pretty good.

The good stuff was good, but there was a lot of stupid crap on this show.

WWE Bragging Rights 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open.  Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 presents, for the only time this year (that is a blatant lie), Raw vs. Smackdown!  It’s Bragging Rights.  For the record, it took 2 1/2 minutes to get the first outright lie of the show.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We’re LIVE from Minneapolis.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett for the WWE Championship!  Plus, the Bragging Rights trophy is on the line!  They show the Buried Alive grave site, then something worse that being buried alive happens…

…Vickie Guerrero speaks.  She introduces her man, the Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler.

Justin Roberts and Tony Chimel are the ring announcers.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  Big “DANIEL BRYAN!” chants.  Ziggler scores a takedown.  Bryan gets him in a heel hook.  Ziggler reaches the ropes and bails.  Ziggler takes Bryan down again and scores a 2 count.  Ziggler gets a crucifix hold for 2.  Bryan attacks Zigglers arm.  Ziggler bails and hides behind Vickie.  Bryan jumps over her and hits Ziggler with a flying knee.  Back inside, Bryan hits a running dropkick to the corner.  Ziggler tries to bail again.  Vickie screams at Bryan.  Ziggler pulls Bryan’s arm into the top rope.  Back inside, Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler chokes Bryan against the ropes, so he should be fired soon.  Cover gets 2.  Ziggler applies an arm lock.  Ziggler goes for a neckbreaker, but Bryan turns it into a backslide for 2.  Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Ziggler hits a reverse body slam for 2.  Ziggler clamps on a rear chin lock.  Bryan tries to fight out.  Ziggler throws him down and hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  Ziggler hits an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler applies a scissored chin lock.  Bryan fights out and charges Ziggler in the corner, but Ziggler avoids the shot and covers for 2.  Ziggler hits some elbows to the neck for 2.  Ziggler hits a quick fireman’s carry for 2.  Ziggler applies a body scissors.  Crowd chants “LET’S GO BRYAN!”  Bryan escapes with a jawbreaker.  They avoid each other in the corner.  Bryan lands a bunch of kicks and a knee to the face.  Bryan backflips over Ziggler and hits a running clothesline.  Bryan drops Ziggler again and covers for 2.  Ziggler kicks Bryan in the head.  Bryan responds in kind.  Bryan hits a springboard kick for 2.  Ziggler ducks a Buzzsaw kick and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler kicks Bryan in the face HARD for 2.  Bryan holds on to the top rope to avoids the Zig Zag and hits the Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Bryan goes up top.  Ziggler crotches him and tries to set up a superplex, but Bryan slips under Ziggler and crotches him.  Bryan goes for a backdrop suplex off the top, but Ziggler lands on top for 2.  Bryan turns it over for 2.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold, but Bryan counters.  They nail each other with cross body blocks.  Vickie screams obnoxiously.  They trade headbutts on their knees.  Bryan kicks Ziggler in the face.  Ziggler gets a schoolboy for 2.  Pinfall reversal sequence.  Fuck yeah!  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 3, but Bryan’s foot was on the bottom rope!  Ziggler argues with the referee.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Bryan tries to roll out and fails.  He does manage to reach the bottom rope.  Ziggler yells at Bryan.  Bryan locks in the LeBell Lock for the win in 16:16.  Fucking awesome match.  Minneapolis LOVES Daniel Bryan.  Vickie and Ziggler argue with the referee, who tells them to leave.  Crowd chants “YOU TAPPED OUT!”

The Miz and Alex Riley are watching backstage.  Miz is actually happy to see Bryan win.  Sheamus and CM Punk come in.  They argue about who should be Team Captain.  Santino Marella comes in looking for snacks and beverages.  They argue about who is taking orders.  Santino orders Sun Chips.  Sheamus says if anyone gets in his way, he’ll kick their head off.  Miz tells Punk that Team Raw is awesome.  Punk says some of them are awesome.  Riley tells Miz to get his shit together.  Miz tells Riley that the chaos means Team Raw is ready.

Minneapolis!

Soldiers are here!

WWE Tag Team Champions “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre come out to cut a promo.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  I hate how they’re doing this horseshit on PPV now.  iBooker says there is a Raw team there to challenge them to night.  Wade Barrett comes out and introduces their opponents: David Otunga and… John Cena!

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre (c) vs. John Cena & David Otunga of The Nexus.  Otunga and Rhodes start.  Rhodes hits a drop toe hold and immediately tags in McIntyre.  The champs take turns beating on Otunga.  Otunga finally gets away and chops/tags Cena.  Cena locks up with Rhodes.  Cena gives a clean break.  Rhodes cheap shots him.  Cena hits the Fisherman suplex for 2.  Cena hits a stalling suplex for 2.  Otunga bitches at Cena for not tagging him in when hold.  Rhodes Pearl Harbors Cena.  Rhodes and McIntyre work over Cena.  Cena tries to fight back, but McIntyre hits him with a Complete Shot for 2.  Rhodes tags in and locks Cena in an arm trap camel clutch.  Cena picks up Rhodes and drops him to escape it.  Cena starts his comeback.  McIntyre tags in.  Cena continues his comeback.  He still refuses to tag in Otunga.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Cena sends him outside.  Rhodes blind tags in and goes for the Cross Rhodes.  Cena counters and locks in the STF for the win in 6:28.  Otunga celebrates with both belts like he played a part in the victory.  Cena hits him with the Attitude Adjustment and leaves with both belts.  So shouldn’t he be fired now?  Wasn’t that the deal?  The match was just there.

Knucklehead trailer.

They show Goldust stealing the Million Dollar belt from Ted Dibiase Jr. 3 weeks ago.

Josh Matthews interviews Ted Dibiase Jr. and Maryse.

Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. Million Dollar Champion Goldust (w/ Aksana).  Two observations: 1.) Dibiase’s music is fucking terrible.  2.) Holy shit, Goldust gets a match on PPV!  Dibiase beats up Goldust in the corner.  Goldust fights back.    Goldust hits a butt butt, then clotheslines Dibiase to the floor.  Goldust follows and throws Dibiase into the barricade.  Back inside, Goldust goes up top.  Dibiase nails him with a big boot, then grounds & pounds him.  Dibiase lands an elbow smash and a dropkick for 2.  Dibiase grinds his forearm into Goldust’s face.  Dibiase grabs a chin lock.  Goldust fights out.  Dibiase hits a clothesline for 2.  Dibiase hits some fist drops and a knee drop.  Goldust fights back.  Dibiase hits a backbreaker for 2.  Dibiase lands a head kick for 2.  Dibiase grabs a rear chin lock.  Goldust escapes with a backdrop suplex.  Goldust makes his comeback.  Bulldog headlock gets 2.  Goldust misses a cross body and flies out of the ring.  Goldust pulls Dibiase’s head into the top rope, then dives from the top rope.  Dibiase catches him with a dropkick for 2.  Goldust hits a powerslam for 2.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street.  Goldust counters.  Dibiase hits a spinebuster for 2.  Goldust kind of hits Dibiase with a shoulder block, but it incapaciates both of them.  Maryse Pearl Harbors Aksana.  Aksana ends up in the ring crying.  Goldust goes to check on her.  Dibiase Pearl Harbors Goldust and hits a DDT for the pin in 7:28.  Good match.  Maryse retrieves the Million Dollar belt, but Aksana kicks her ass and takes it.  She flirts with Dibiase or something.  Goldust hits Dibiase with the spinning brainbuster.  Goldust and Aksana leave with the belt.

Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 commercial.

Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out to be the most obnoxious people on the planet.

Unified WWE Divas Championship Match: Layla (c) (w/ co-Unified WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool) vs. Natalya.  They actually do some wrestling.  That’s good.  Layla is approximately 1,000,000,000,000 times better in the ring than McCool.  Natalya hits a stalling suplex for 2.  Layla kicks her out of the ring.  Layla follows.  Natalya kicks her and throws her back in.  McCool tries to attack Natalya, but gets rammed into the barricade.  Layla distracts the referee and McCool finally manages to get her cheap shot in.  Back inside, Layla hits a basement dropkick to the back for 2.  Layla applies a sweet bow & arrow type double arm lock.  Natalya turns around.  Layla scissors her.  Natalya slams Layla.  Layla kicks Natalya in the head.  Natalya hits a short clothesline for 2.  Natalya hits a butterfly suplex and some clotheslines.  Layla boots Natalya in the corner.  Natalya lands a dropkick for 2.  Natalya hits a discus lariat and goes for the Sharpshooter.  Layla gets the ropes, bails, grabs her belt, and tries to leave.  Natalya shoves McCool, then throws Layla back into the ring.  Natalya yells at McCool to stay out of it.  McCool kicks Natalya in the head.  Layla gets the pin in 4:49.  Decent little divas match.

Survivor Series commercial.

Minneapolis!

Josh Matthews is in the grave to hype the Buried Alive Match.

Undertaker/Kane hype video.

Buried Alive Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Kane (c) (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. The Undertaker.  Undertaker meets Kane in the aisle and they brawl.  Undertaker beats up Kane at ringside and in the ring.  Crowd chants “WE WANT BLOOD!”  They’re not going to get it.  They brawl in the crowd.  Back at ringside, Undertaker throws some chairs into the ring.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP~!  VINTAGE UNDERTAKER~!  Taker also throws the top piece of the announcers’ table into the ring.  Kane bails.  They brawl in the crowd again.  They brawl in the ring again.  Kane hits Taker with a chair, then chokes him with it, then hits him with it some more.  Kane hits the chokeslam.  Twice.  He carries Undertaker toward the grave site near the entryway.  Taker slips out and decks him.  They brawl in the aisle.  Alternating “BOO!” and “YAY!” as they trade punches.  Taker wins the punch off.  Taker tries to chokeslam Kane into the grave.  Kane counters, then tries to pull Undertaker into the grave.  Taker locks him in the Hell’s Gate.  Taker rolls Kane into the grave.  Taker spots Paul Bearer behind the tombstone and pushes his head into the mound of dirt.  Kane tries to put Bearer in the grave.  The Nexus (minus Cena) randomly come out and attack Taker.  He fights them and tries to chokeslam Barrett, but Slater cuts him off.  They beat Taker down.  Kane clocks him with the urn and knocks him into the grave.  Nexus start shoveling dirt onto Taker.  Kane runs them off and does his pyro.  The Caterpillar dumps dirt onto Taker to give Kane the win in 16:58.  Long brawl.  I didn’t hate it or anything.  I don’t understand the logic of Nexus helping Kane win, though.  After Kane leaves, Taker’s music plays and the old Ministry symbol appears on the tombstone.  So I guess Taker is dead.  Again.

The announcers are in shock.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Champion Randy Orton.

It’s time for the Bragging Rights match!  This year everyone gets individual entrances, unlike last year.  Roberts introduces the Raw guys.  Chimel introduces 6 of the Smackdown guys.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Bragging Rights Elimination Match: Team Raw: The Miz (w/ Alex Riley), CM Punk, John Morrison, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino Marella, R-Truth, & Sheamus vs. Team Smackdown: The Big Show (w/ Hornswoggle), Rey Mysterio Jr., Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio, & Edge.  Morrison and Reks start.  Reks gets the better of him briefly.  Morrison uses his fancy movements to rally and get a jackknife hold for 2.  Reks hits a shoulder block, then an elbow drop for 2.  May have been 1.  Morrison dropkicks Reks into the corner.  Morrison hits a jumping kick, then tags in Santino.  Morrison dropkicks Reks.  Santino hits his jumping headbutt for 2.  Santino goes for the Cobra, but Reks decks him.  Reks hits hits Torture Rack drop for the pin in 2:37.  Big Zeke comes in ready to fuck some blue guys up.  He slams Reks.  Reks tags in Show.  Jackson attacks, but gets beaten down and thrown around.  Mysterio tags in and hits a springboard dive for 2.  Kofi tags in.  They try to whip Zeke, but Zeke throws them away, then drops them both.  Sheamus tags in and beats up Kofi.  Kofi hits the corner rebound kick and a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi hits a clothesline and the Boom Drop.  He goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Punk intervenes.  Kofi knocks Punk off the apron, then hits the S.O.S. on Sheamus.  Sheamus reaches the bottom rope to to break the count.  Kofi hits counter punches.  Sheamus slips out and hits the Razor’s Edge for the pin at 6:52.  Mysterio comes in and tries to be abusive and elusive.  Sheamus drops him and tags in Punk.  Punk beats up Mysterio.  The crowd is actually pro-Punk.  Bizarre, considering he’s in there against Mysterio.  Punk hits a powerslam for 2.  Sheamus tags in and mauls Mysterio some more.  Sheamus hits a short clothesline for 2.  Punk tags back in.  Mysterio kicks him in the face and hits the ropes.  Del Rio tags himself in.  They argue.  Punk knocks Del Rio into Mysterio.  Del Rio kicks Punk out of the ring.  He throws Punk back in, then throws Mysterio into the barricade.  He’s your teammate!  Back inside, Del Rio covers Punk for 2.  Show yells at Del Rio.  Del Rio shrugs.  Mysterio is helped to the back.  Del Rio hits Punk with a German suplex hold for 2.  Swagger tags in and suplexes Punk.  At least he didn’t bring the stupid eagle tonight.  Swagger hits Punk with a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger locks in a double arm lock.  Crowd chants for Punk again.  Punk drops Swagger with a kick and makes the tag to Morrison.  Morrison runs wild on Swagger.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck for 2.  Swagger avoids the running knee and schoolboys Morrison for 2.  Morrison gets a sunset flip for 2.  Swagger hits an over the shoulder powerslam for 2.  Swagger goes for the springboard Vader Bomb.  Morrison gets his feet  up.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Morrison counters out and drops Swagger with a kick.  Morrison hits the Starship Pain for the pin in 13:08.  Reks comes in and beats up Morrison.  Morrison hits a front flip dropkick and tags in Sheamus.  Sheamus runs wild on Reks.  Reks catches him with a boot and a clothesline.  Reks knocks Morrison off the apron.  Sheamus hits the pump kick for the pin in 14:31.  Show comes in and beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus takes his knee out.  Show knocks Sheamus out of the ring.  Sheamus shoves Hornswoggle.  Show beats up Sheamus on the outside.  They’re both counted out in 15:27.  It’s 5 Raw guys against 2 Smackdown guys.  Edge and R-Truth go at it.  Edge runs wild.  R-Truth break dances and lands a kick for 2.  Edge avoids the scissors kick and spears Truth for the pin in 16:42.  Morrison comes in and goes for Starship Pain.  Edge avoids it and hits the spear for the pin in 17:10.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Punk leapfrogs the spear.  Del Rio tags himself in and beats on Punk.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Punk gets a backslide for the pin in 18:05.  Edge is all alone.  But wait!  Rey Mysterio reappears, decks Del Rio, and gets in the corner.  Edge drops Punk with an enzuigiri.  Miz tags in and stops Edge from making the tag.  Crowd chants “MIZ IS AWESOME!”  Minneapolis is very pro-Raw.  Jackson tags in and beats up Edge.  Miz tags in and locks Edge in a rear chin lock.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  Punk puts the boots to Edge.  Edge avoids Punk in the corner and hits an electric chair drop.  Mysterio goes the hot tag and runs wild on Punk.  Kick to the head gets 2.  Punk rolls through a rebound cross body for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Mysterio counters into a sunset flip for 2.  Cradle reversal sequences.  Sweet!  Mysterio hits a headscissors and the 619.  Mysterio hits the springboard splash for the pin in 24:08.  Jackson beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio kicks Jackson from the corner.  Jackson nails him with a shoulder block.  Mysterio comes back and and goes for the 619, but gets dropped.  Jackson picks Mysterio up, but Myzterio hits a DDT.  Mysterio hits the 619 and a botched springboard splash for the pin in 26:12.  Miz jumps Mysterio.  Mysterio hits a rana and goes for the 619.  Riley trips him.  Mysterio hits the 619 on Riley (who jumped in to save Miz).  Mysterio goes for the springboard splash, but Miz gets his knees up and covers Mysterio for 2.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Mysterio rolls out, ducks under, and makes the tag to Edge.  Edge spears Miz for the pin in 27:46.  Great match.  Smackdown wins 2 years in a Raw.  It’s weird.  Raw is clearly the A show, but Smackdown always wins the big showdowns.  Edge, Mysterio, and Hornswoggle celebrate with the trophy.

Knucklehead trailer.  Again.

John Cena sits in the locker room.

Orton/Barrett hype video, which is mostly about Barrett/Cena.

WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Wade Barrett (w/ WWE Tag Team Champion John Cena).  Orton’s music starting got probably the biggest pop of the night.  I love that song too.  Intros.  Barrett takes the mic and tells Cena he’s fired if Barrett doesn’t win the match.  Orton and Barrett lock up.  Barrett wins the lock up and tries to cheap shot Orton.  Orton ducks and beats up Barrett.  Crowd chants “FIRE CENA!”  Barrett throws Cena out of the ring.  Orton and Cena stare at each other.  Orton gets back in the ring.  Barrett goes outside to look at Cena.  A sad dude just standing there in a purple shirt isn’t that interesting to look at.  Barrett beats up Orton.  Orton beats up Barrett.  Orton lands a couple of knee drops for 2.  Barrett boots Orton from the corner and stomps on him.  Barrett goes outside to yell at Cena again.  Orton decks Barrett from behind and rams his head into the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Orton grabs a chin lock.  Barrett escapes and locks Orton a sleeper hold.  Orton escapes via a backdrop suplex.  They go outside again.  Barrett reverses Orton into the steps.  Back inside, Barrett beats on Orton some more.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett works a rear chin lock.  Orton fights out.  Barrett hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  They go outside yet again.  Barrett rams Orton’s back into the side of the ring.  Back inside, Barrett locks Orton in a rear chin lock again.  Barrett goes for another pumphandle slam, but Orton slips out and fights back.  Orton lands a dropkick.  Barrett rolls to the apron.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Barrett counters, knocking the ref down in the process.  Seeing how referees are so fragile, he’s going to be out cold for several minutes.  Barrett orders Cena onto the apron.  Orton knocks Barrett into Cena, then hits Barrett with the 3.0.  The rest of the Nexus come out and attack Orton.  Cena comes in and attacks Nexus.  Slater gets RKO’d.  Cena throws the others out.  Barrett asks him WTF?  Cena says Barrett will lose if he gets DQ’d.  Duh.  The referee wakes up.  Barrett goes for the Wasteland.  Orton counters out and makes his comeback.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  Cena sneaks in and gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett wins by DQ in 14:34.  Cena tries to hand Orton the belt.  Orton drops him with the RKO and poses with the belt.  Barrett gets up.  Orton drops him with the RKO too, then poses some more.  Boring match that only picked up in the last couple of minutes.  I don’t like having a fuck finish close out the PPV.  They should have put the Bragging Rights match on last.

Pretty good show aside from the two boring title matches.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 10/22/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, Randy Orton vs. Kane in a Champion vs. Champion match!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Teddy Long has Team Raw (The Miz, CM Punk, John Morrison, Sheamus, Santino Marella, Ezekiel Jackson, and Alex Riley) and Team Smackdown (The Big Show, Alberto Del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Edge, Rey Mysterio Jr., Jack Swagger, and Tyler Reks).  Riley is substituting for R-Truth, who isn’t allowed to enter Canada.  They’re going to face each other in matches tonight, and the wrestlers get to pick opponents.  Miz says he, Zeke, and Sheamus will team tonight.  Show says it’ll be against him, Kofi, and Mysterio.  Edge books himself vs. Punk.  Morrison books himself vs. Del Rio.  Swagger chooses Santino.  No Reks vs. Riley?  Thank God.  Long orders the six-man tag RIGHT NOW!

The Miz, Sheamus, & Ezekiel Jackson (w/ Alex Riley) vs. The Big Show, Rey Mysterio Jr., & Kofi Kingston.  Mysterio tries to dance around Sheamus.  Sheamus kicks his ass.  Mysterio hits a rana.  Sheamus drops him and beats him up some more.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio catches Sheamus with a kick and tags in Kofi, who hits a diving cross body for 2.  Sheamus beats him down and lunges for Mysterio, who drops off the apron.  Kofi fights back and low bridges Sheamus out of the ring.  Mysterio hits the seated senton off the apron.  Insta-commercials.  Kofi catches Zeke with the corner kick, then knocks Miz off the apron.  Zeke knocks Kingston down to counter a springboard.  Cover gets 2.  Zeke beats up Kofi.  Miz tags in and beats up Kofi.  Sheamus tags in and beats up Kofi.  Kofi catches Sheamus with a neckbreaker.  Miz tags in and tries to cut Kofi off.  Kofi kicks him away and makes the hot tag to Big Show.  Show runs wild on Miz.  Miz takes a HUGE back body drop.  So does Sheamus.  Mysterio hits the seated senton on Sheamus.  Zeke tries to press slam Mysterio, but Show decks him.  Miz dives at Show.  Show catches him and hits the chokeslam.  Mysterio tags in and hits a big splash off of Show’s shoulders on Miz for the pin (5:48 shown).  Really fun little match.

Tonight, Orton vs. Kane!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tonight, Edge, vs. CM Punk!  It’s Edge vs. Straight Edge!

John Cena/Wade Barrett storyline highlight video.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero.  The show the segment with them and WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan from Raw.  Ziggler vows to “crush” Bryan this Sunday.

Swagger vs. Santino is NEXT!

Jack Swagger (w/ The Swagger Soaring Eagle) vs. Santino Marella.  They fuck around a bit.  Santino tries and fails to take Swagger down.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex, then rolls Santino out of the ring.  The eagle tries to mess with Santino.  Hornswoggle comes out to keep the eagle in check.  Yes, the Smackdown mascot is helping the Raw guy against the Smackdown guy.  Santino takes Swagger down with a judo throw and clamps on a headlock.  Swagger rams him into the turnbuckles, then throws him out of the ring.  Hornswoggle keeps the eagle away from him again.  Cole acknowledges how stupid that is.  Santino hits the eagle with the Cobra strike.  Hornswoggle hits a frog splash off the steps.  Santino makes his comeback on Swagger and hits a jumping headbutt for 2.  Santino goes for the Cobra, but Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:52.  Silly comedy match.

Morrison vs. Del Rio is NEXT!

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes gives grooming tips.

Tony Chimel introduces Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Del Rio powers Morrison into the corner and cheap shots him instead of giving a clean break.  Morrison takes Del Rio down and pounds on him, then hits the knee strike for 2.  Del Rio sends Morrison into the turnbuckles, then hits a backbreaker for 2.  Del Rio applies a chin lock.  Del Rio keeps the heat on Morrison.  Morrison gets a schoolboy for 2.  Del Rio tags a bump into the turnbuckles.  Morrison takes his comeback.  Del Rio hits a gorgeous German suplex hold for 2.  Morrison ducks an enzuigiri and goes for the Starship Pain.  Del Rio locks in the Minoru Special (Striker actually calls it that this week) for the submission win in 4:31.  Good little match.  Raw is down 0-3 against Smackdown.

Edge vs. Punk is NEXT!

WWE Rewind: The Battle Royal from Raw.

Edge vs. CM Punk.  Punk takes Edge down.  Edge grabs a side headlock and scores a shoulder block for 1.  Edge takes Punk down with another side headlock.  Punk powers him up and into the corner, then beats him up.  Punk works Edge’s arm.  Edge escapes the hold and beats up Punk.  Punk avoids a cross body, causing Edge to hit the ropes.  Cover gets 2.  Punk stomps Edge’s hand, then kicks him down for 2.  Edge hits a swinging neckbreaker.  Punk hits a front suplex into the ropes.  Edge falls out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Punk has Edge in a body scissors.  Punk hits a gut buster for 2.  Punk comes off the top rope, but Edge kind of catches him with a powerslam.  They get to their feet and trade blows.  Edge ducks a kick.  Punk counters the Edgecution.  Edge hits a running forearm for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but Edge counters into the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Punk catches Edge with a knee strike for 2.  Edge hits the Edgecution for 2.  Edge goes up top.  Punk cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge throws him down with a front suplex, then sets up the spear.  The Miz and Alex Riley come out and pull Edge out of the ring to cause the DQ (9:45 shown).  Kofi Kingston runs out to make the save.  He ducks Miz and hits Riley with the Trouble In Paradise.  Miz hits Kofi with the Skull Crushing Finale.  Tyler Reks hits Miz with his spinning rack drop thing.  Morrison hits Reks with a spinning DDT.  Alberto Del Rio hits Miz with an enzuigiri.  Zeke hits Del Rio with the Book of Ezekiel.  Swagger locks Zeke in the ankle lock.  Santino goes for the Cobra, but Swagger hits him with the Doctor Bomb.  Sheamus hits Swagger with the pump kick.  Show chokeslams Zeke.  Sheamus drops Show with the pump kick.  Mysterio hits Sheamus with the 619.  Punk hits Mysterio with the Go 2 Sleep.  Edge spears Punk.  So I guess Smackdown wins the fight.  The match was boring.  It was technically good, but it felt like they were working at half speed.  The post match clusterfuck was fun.  It didn’t go so fast you couldn’t follow it.  Team Smackdown stands tall.

Orton vs. Kane TONIGHT!

Layla and Michelle McCool are in the ring dressed as Natalya and Bret Hart, respectively.  These two make me hate wrestling.  McCool is the worst actress on the planet.

Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Natalya & Kelly Kelly.  Layla beats up Natalya.  McCool beats up Natalya.  Natalya drops Layla with a clothesline, then hits a butterfly suplex for 2.  Natalya yells at McCool.  Layla goes for the neckbreaker, but Natalya counters into a backslide.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter.  McCool tries to save her, but fails.  Natalya locks Layla in the Sharpshooter for the win in 2:23.  Retarded shit.  Natalya rips off Layla’s fake goatee, puts it on, and does her dad’s signature post. At least we didn’t have to watch Kelly wrestle.

Edmonton!

Tale of the Tape for Orton vs. Kane.  Sweet!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Kane hype video.

The main event is NEXT!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Kane (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton.  They state at each other.  Kane throws the first punch and beats up Orton.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam and signals for the Tombstone.  Orton slips out and hits the 3.0, then humps the mat.  Kane bails.  Orton follows and runs him into the post.  Orton beats up Kane at ringside.  Kane catches Orton with a clothesline.  Kane rams Orton into the side of the ring and the barricade a bunch of times.  Orton is in trouble!  Insta-commercials.  Kane has Orton in a bear hug.  Orton fights out, but gets clotheslined.  Kane covers for 2.  Kane beats on Orton for a while.  He pulls Orton out of the ring and rams his back into the post.  Back inside, Kane bear hugs Orton again.  Kane hits a backbreaker for 2.  Kane hits the diving lariat.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Orton fights out and makes his comeback.  Orton hits the powerslam.  Kane rolls to the apron.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER, then humps the mat again.  Kane counters the RKO and hits a big boot.  Kane goes for the chokeslam.  The lights go out.  The GONG sounds.  The lights come back on.  Orton hits the RKO for the pin (9:02 shown).  Another technically fine, but boring match.  Kane throws a temper tantrum.  The Undertaker comes through the bottom of the ring and pulls Kane down into the hole.  Kane screams like he’s about to be ass raped.  Fin.

The first half of the show was good.  The second half was slightly above mediocre.  That balances out to a thumbs slightly up.