Archive for TLC

WWE Tuesday Night Smackdown! 12/21/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, hype video, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers LIVE from San Antonio.  Tonight, John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero!  Also, the NEW World Heavyweight Champion Edge appears!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Non-Title: Randy Orton vs. WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).  They show Jerry Lawler getting the pin on Miz after Orton delivered the RKO last night on Raw.  They lock.  Orton powers Miz into the corner.  The referee breaks them up.  Miz gets in a cheap shot, which just pisses Orton off.  Miz bails.  Orton chases him back into the ring and does a Steve Austin style Lou Thesz press with punches.  Miz bails again.  Orton throws him into the barricade and drops him with a punch, then threatens Riley into stepping back.  Orton continues beating up Miz back inside.  Miz pulls Orton’s head across the top rope and hits a basement big boot for 2.  Orton fires back with punches, but gets caught with a knee lift.  Miz hits a suplex for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton hits the 3.0 and makes his comeback.  Orton hits the powerslam.  Miz rolls to the apron like an idiot.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Miz counters him and sends him to the apron.  Riley knocks Orton off the apron behind the referee’s back.  Miz whips Orton into the steps.  Commercials.  Orton fights out of a rear chin lock and goes for a sleeper.  Miz counters into one of his own.  Orton hits a backdrop suplex.  Miz lands a big boot for 2, then stomps on Orton and argues with the referee for no apparent reason.  Miz goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex.  Cover gets 2.  Orton is selling that he hurt his collarbone.  Orton beats down Miz in the corner.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  Orton lands a high dropkick for 2.  Orton goes for a powerbomb.  Riley gets on the apron to distract him.  Miz back body drops Orton to escape his predicament.  Miz hits the corner clothesline and a DDT for 2.  They counter each others’ finishes.  Miz gets a backslide for 2.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  Riley gets on the apron.  Orton decks him and hits Miz with the RKO.  Riley breaks the cover to cause the DQ in 13:51.  Good match.  Orton clotheslines Riley out of the ring.  Orton goes for the PUNT OF DEATH on Miz, but Riley comes back in.  Orton drops him with the RKO, but it gives The Miz time to bail.

They show John Cena burying Wade Barrett under chairs at TLC.  Tonight, Cena takes on Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero in a Handicap Match!

The Big Santa and Rosa Mendez are backstage handing out gifts.  Hornswoggle is an elf.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The Big Santa, Rosa Mendez, and Hornswoggle the elf come out and throw some free merchandise to the crowd.  Show breaks a chair, then reads a WWE Christmas story about TLC.  They start to leave.  Cody Rhodes appears and decks Hornswoggle, knocks over the Christmas tree, and bails.  Big Santa is pissed.

Tonight, Edge!  Commercials.

Tribute To The Troops hype.

San Antonio!

Raw Rebound.

Cena vs. Ziggler & Vickie tonight!

Todd Grisham interviews Beth Phoenix, who took a nasty spill at the PPV.  WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov interrupt.  Santino wishes his former paramour well.  Kozlov holds a mistletoe over them.  Beth says Santino is seeing Tamina on Raw.  Santino says “What happens on Smackdown stays on Smackdown.”  Beth kisses Kozlov instead.  Santino and Kozlov argue.  Cute.  Commercials.

WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella (w/ WWE Tag Team Champion Vladimir Kozlov) vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Jobber entrance for poor Chavo.  Santino hits a judo throw.  Chavo beats on him,  Santino back body drops Chavo to the floor, then throws him back inside.  Chavo cuts Santino off getting back in the ring and beats on him.  Chavo hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Santino hulks up and makes his comeback.  Chavo gets his knees up for the jumping headbutt.  Chavo goes for the Three Amigos, but Santino counters the third and hits a Stunner.  Santino hits the Cobra and schoolboys Chavo for the pin in 2:53.  Fun little match.

Edge is NEXT!  Commercials.

The NEW World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out to talk.  He says the stupid storyline he went through was worth it because he has the belt.  He starts to talk about his accomplishments, but Kane comes out and tells him to shut up.  They banter.  Edge offers to give Kane his rematch RIGHT NOW!  Kane pussies out.

Tonight, Alberto Del Rio & Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston!  They replay Cena’s burial of Wade Barrett again.  He’ll face Ziggler & Vickie tonight!  Commercials!

Ezekiel Jackson hype video.

Drew McIntyre vs. Kaval.  Drew is sporting a tiny goatee that makes him look just like Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean.  McIntyre jumps Kaval before the bell and stomps the shit out of him.  Kaval is still ready to wrestle.  McIntyre immediately boots him in the head and hits the Future Shock for the pin in 25 seconds.  Damn, Kaval just got jobbed the fuck out.

More Tribute To The Troops hype.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio, who is in action NEXT!  Commercials!

Alberto Del Rio & Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. & Kofi Kingston.  Swagger knocks Kofi out of the ring.  Del Rio jumps Mysterio and tries to rip his mask off.  Swagger and Del Rio take turns beating up Mysterio.  Kofi tags in and hits a Stinger Splash on Del Rio for 2.  Mysterio tags in and hits Del Rio with a springboard seated senton for 2.  Kofi comes back in with a missile dropkick for 2, as Swagger makes the save.  Del Rio charges Kofi and sails through the ropes.  Mysterio low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  Mysterio and Kofi hit stereo dives to the outside on their opponents.  Commercials!  Del Rio has Mysterio in a rear chin lock.  The heels took over the match via nefarious means during the break.  Del Rio hits a basement kick on Mysterio for 2.  Swagger tags in and keeps the heat going.  Mysterio rallies and makes the hot tag.  Kofi runs wild on Swagger, but gets caught with boots when he charges Swagger in the corner.  Swagger drops him with a big boot for 2.  The heels cut Kofi off and work him over.  Mysterio and Del Rio gets tags.  Mysterio hits a flippy DDT for 2.  Mysterio connects with a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Del Rio catches Mysterio with a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger blind tags in and cuts him off with a lariat for 2.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio counters him.  Mysterio gets Del Rio and Swagger both in position and goes for the 619.  Del Rio escapes, but Swagger eats it.  Kofi takes Del Rio out and hits Swagger with the Trouble In Paradise.  Mysterio hits the springboard splash on Swagger for the pin in 13:40.  Very good match.

Another replay of Cena burying Wade Barrett.  Cena vs. Ziggler & Vickie TONIGHT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night

Remember the Alamo!

Drew McIntyre hits on Kelly Kelly backstage.

Vickie Guerrero is warming up backstage.  WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler tries to talk her out of participating in this match.  He fails, then helps her stretch.  Stupid.  It’s next.  Commercials.

Next week, Edge &  Rey Mysterio vs. Kane & Alberto Del Rio!

Handicap Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero vs. John Cena.  Vickie wants to start.  That’s just silly.  Cena is amused.  Cena takes Ziggler over with a side headlock.  Ziggler turns it into a cradle for 2.  I love that spot.  Cena does a drop down, leapfrog, shoulder block, then grabs a rear chin lock.  Vickie yells at Cena, distracting him and letting Ziggler get the advantage.  Vickie tags herself in when Cena is beaten down and stands on his head.  Ouch.  Cena lifts her up.  Ziggler tags himself back in and beats him down.  Cover gets 2.  Ziggler hits elbow drops for 2.  Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Ziggler counters into a DDT for 2.  Ziggler chokes Cena in the ropes.  Vickie kicks him.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler knocks Cena off the apron to the floor.  Cena is phenomenal at selling a beating.  Ziggler rams his head into the announce table.  He tries to do it on the steps, but Cena blocks in and rams Ziggler’s head into the steps.  Back inside, Ziggler catches Cena with a nice dropkick for 2.  Cena hits a suplex.  They trade punches.  Ziggler ducks Cena’s shoulder block and Cena sails out of the ring.  Vickie kicks at Cena behind the referee’s back.  Cena gives Ziggler a gutwrench suplex.  Ziggler avoids Cena in the corner and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Ziggler hits a jawbreaker for 2.  Vickie tags herself in and taunts Cena.  She tries a big splash, but Cena moves out of the way.  Ziggler tags back in.  Cena makes his comeback and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Ziggler counters in midair and hits the Fameasser for 2.  Cena avoids the Zig Zag and locks in the STF.  Vickie breaks it and screams at Cena.  Cena kisses her.  Gross.  Cena gives Ziggler the Attitude Adjustment for the pin in 13:29.  Really good match.  Cena and Ziggler work very well together.  Vickie screams at Cena and slaps him.  Cena goes to give her the Attitude Adjustment.  CM Punk appears out of nowhere and attacks Cena with a chair!  Punk is even in wrestling gear.  I thought his injury was going to keep him out for several more months.  I’m excited for a Cena/Punk program.

Really fun show with some good wrestling.  3 good nights in a row from WWE!

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/20/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then straight to the arena.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  Jerry Lawler and CM Punk are the announcers.

WWE Champion The Miz comes out.  He is ecstatic to STILL be champion.  Weird creepy music plays.  Alex Riley comes out as the Ghost of Christmas Past to show Miz the error of his ways.  They show clips of the Miz/Lawler TLC Match from a few weeks ago.  Miz is proud of that.  Michael Cole comes out as the Ghost of Christmas Present and talks about how Miz beat Randy Orton last night.  Miz is proud of that too.  The show a picture of the Angry Miz Girl.  They make her mouth move and have her as the Ghost of Christmas Future.  This was good up until this point.  She warns Miz about the new #1 Contender, John Morrison.  Miz isn’t concerned.  John Morrison comes out and bashes this stupidity.  Morrison says he will beat Miz when they meet for the title.  Miz disagrees.  Riley shoves Morrison.  Morrison kicks his ass.  Sheamus runs in.  Morrison kicks his ass too.  Sheamus attacks Morrison’s injured knee and gives him the Polish Hammer.  Riley gets in Lawler’s face at ringside, so Lawler punches him in the face!  The iBooker dings in.  Cole does his spiel and announces the main event for tonight: Miz, Riley, & Sheamus vs. Morrison, Lawler, & Randy Orton.  Orton appears on the stage and decks Miz.

They show John Cena (literally) burying Wade Barrett last night.  Tonight, Cena is back!  He was never gone!  Commercials! plug.

Cole, Lawler, and Punk hype tonight’s main event.  WWE Divas Champion Natalya has joined them for commentary for next match.

Triple Threat Match to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Divas Championship: Melina vs. Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres.  Fox beats up both of her opponents.  She gives Melina what looked like a stiff elbow to the nose.  Fox sends Eve outside.  Melina makes her comeback on Fox.  Eve comes back in.  Everybody trades cradles.  Fox powerbombs Melina.  Cover, but Eve saves.  Eve beats up Fox and hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Eve tries to go up top, but Melina cuts her off.  Melina tries a superplex.  Fox lifts Melina on her shoulders.  Eve goes for a Doomsday cross body, but Melina rolls through and pins Fox with a victory roll in 2:55.  Not a bad little match.  Natalya gets in the ring to congratulate Melina.  Melina slaps her and leaves.  Yay!  Melina is back to being a bitch!  About damn time.  She’s dreadful as a babyface.

The Bella Twins chat backstage.  WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan walks up.  They’re escorting him to the ring.  It’s good to be AmDrag!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The announcers say that Nexus won’t be there tonight.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins) vs. William Regal.  BRYAN VS. REGAL~!  They lock up and do glorious, glorious chain wrestling.  Bryan breaks free of a hold and lands a dropkick.  More glorious trading of holds.  Regal kicks Bryan in the back.  Bryan lands an elbow smash and retaliates.  Bryan kicks the hell out of Regal in the corner.  Bryan backflips over Regal and runs into a forearm smash.  Regal coves for 2, then cranks on a cravat.  Bryan slams Regal, but Regal hangs on to the cravat!  Regal finally releases the hold and elbows Bryan in the face a bunch.  Awesome.  Cover gets 2.  Regal lands knee lifts and forearms for 2.  Regal applies a full nelson on the mat.  Bryan breaks out.  They trade European uppercuts.  Bryan wins that exchange.  Regal awesomely blocks a backslide, elbows Bryan in the head, and goes for the Regal Stretch.  Bryan counters.  Regal goes for a butterfly suplex.  Bryan counters and locks in the LeBell Lock for the win in 4:31.  Fucking great little match.  Regal applauds Bryan.  The Bellas kiss him.  Bryan seems confused.

Tonight, big six-man tag!  Commercials.

John Morrison is getting ready in his locker room.  Randy Orton comes in and compliments him on the match last night.  Morrison says what happened to Orton was “bogus.”  Orton says if Morrison wins the title, Orton is coming for him.  Morrison says he’ll be ready and he trusts that Orton will be ready too.  Orton says Morrison shouldn’t trust him.

Tamina walks on Santino Marella’s back.  Maryse comes in and argues with Tamina while also standing on Santino’s back.  Ted Dibiase Jr. and Vladimir Kozlov pull them apart.

Mark Henry and Gail Kim talk about how nice Raw is without The Nexus around.  WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero walk by.  Henry decides it’s not so nice.  Commercials.

WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella & Tamina vs. Ted Dibiase Jr. & Maryse.  Santino is selling back problems.  Tamina lifts him up and fixes his back.  Santino and Dibiase lock up.  Santino threats the Cobra, then hits a judo throw.  Dibiase drops him and pounds on him.  Santino misses a punch.  Dibiase lands a dropkick for 2.  Dibiase clamps on a rear chin lock.  Santino fights out and makes his comeback.  He sets up the Cobra.  Maryse tags in.  Santino sees her.  Maryse knocks the Cobra into Santino, or something.  Tamina superkicks Maryse and goes up top.  Santino tries to give Dibiase the Cobra, but Dibiase low bridges him out of the ring.  Dibiase falls out in the process.  Tamina hits the Superfly splash on Maryse for the pin in 2:53.  Mostly a comedy match, which is fine.  Santino has re-injured his back.  Tamina carries him to the back.

John Cena is backstage.  Some dude gives him flowers.  He gives the flowers to a chick.  Commercials.

University of Texas!

John Cena comes out to cut a promo.  He hugs a guy in a “We Hate Cena” shirt.  He dances with joy at the lack of Nexus, then sings.  They show Cena burying Wade Barrett under chairs and stuff last night from various camera angles and in slow motion.  Vickie Guerrero and WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler come out.  Vickie makes my ears bleed by making that horrible noise with her mouth.  Texas hates her like she’s Hitler.  She’s trying to talk about Ziggler winning at the PPV, but the crowd hates her so loud she can’t talk.  They show video of Lawler making fat jokes at Vickie last week.  Vickie demands an apology from Lawler, or Ziggler will beat him up.  Lawler and Cena take turns making fat jokes.  Vickie slaps Cena.  iBooker dings in.  Cole announces Ziggler vs. Cena for RIGHT NOW!  Commercials.

Non-Title: John Cena vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  They wait until after commercials to start the match.  That’s nice of them!  Ziggler takes down Lawler and does a sweet half nelson cradle, but it doesn’t quite work out.  Cena gets a side headlock takeover right into the ropes.  Ziggler beats on Cena and stomps him down in the corner.  Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2.  Ziggler tries a kick, but Cena catches his foot and hits the Fisherman suplex for 2.  Ziggler avoids Cena in the corner, then stomps on him again.  Ziggler lands some punches and gets 2.  Cena rallies and gets a 2 count of his own.  Cena telegraphs a backdrop and gets kicked in the head.  Cover gets 2.  Ziggler applies a side headlock.  Cena fights out and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Ziggler counters into the X Factor for 2.  Commercials.  Cena hits a sidewalk slam.  Double clothesline spot.  Ziggler hits a reverse Stunner for 2.  Ziggler lands a high dropkick for 2.  Cena avoids a second dropkick and makes his comeback.  He goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Ziggler fights out and goes for the sleeper.  Cena escapes and locks in the STF.  Vickie distracts the referee so he doesn’t see Ziggler tap.  Cena argues with the referee.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler removes a turnbuckle pad.  The referee goes to correct it.  Ziggler tries to hit Cena with the championship belt.  Cena ducks the shot and hits the Attitude Adjustment for the pin in 13:26.  Good match.  CM Punk gets in the ring and attacks Cena with a chair.  Punk leaves.  Cena is pissed.

Tonight, big six-man tag!  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

During the break, Josh Matthews asked CM Punk WTF?  Punk says he gave Cena a taste of his own medicine, then drives away.

Jerry Lawler is getting ready backstage.  Sheamus comes in for a kingly discussion.  Sheamus says he earned his crown.  Lawler says he’s been king since 1974.  Sheamus says tonight, the king is dead.

Vickie Guerrero bitches at Dolph Ziggler in her nails on a chalkboard voice.  Ziggler wants a rematch tomorrow on Smackdown.  Vickie says it will be Cena vs. Ziggler & Vickie.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  The main event is NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tomorrow night on Smackdown, Cena vs. Ziggler & Vickie!

They show video of The Miz making the media rounds.

With Punk gone and Lawler wrestling, Josh Matthews has joined Cole for commentary on the main event.

WWE Champion The Miz, Alex Riley, & Sheamus vs. John Morrison, Jerry “The King” Lawler, & Randy Orton.  Miz teases starting with Orton, then tags out to Riley.  Orton kicks Riley in the gut and beats on him.  Orton hits a knee drop and tags in Morrison.  Morrison beats up Riley, then gives Lawler a turn.  Lawler lands a dropkick!  Miz tags in.  Lawler punches him in the face and tags in Orton.  Miz scampers away and bails.  Orton chases him back into the ring.  Miz tags in Sheamus and bails again.  Commercials.  Sheamus works over Lawler.  Lawler avoids Sheamus in the corner and Sheamus spears the post.  Morrison gets the tag and runs wild on Sheamus.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck, but tweaks his bad knee.  He decks an interfering Riley and goes for the Starship Pain.  Sheamus chop blocks the bad knee.  Morrison plays face in peril as the heels take turns working over his injured knee.  Orton gets the hot tag and runs wild on Miz.  He hits the Angle Slam, which has become one his standard moves.  Orton drops Miz with the DDT OF MURDER.  Cover, but Sheamus saves.  Morrison takes out Sheamus with a cross body out of the ring.  Orton humps the mat and RKOs Riley.  Lawler tags in and beats up Miz.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton drops him with the RKO behind the referee’s back.  Lawler covers Miz for the pin in 14:19.  Way fun match.  iBooker dings in.  Cole announces Miz vs. Orton for the live Smackdown tomorrow night.  Miz jumps Lawler from behind.  Orton goes for Miz, but has to drop an interfering Riley.  Miz decks Orton and runs away.  Orton yells “Damn right, you son of a *beep*!”

Really fun Raw.  Good wrestling tonight.

WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, & Chairs 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Houston, Texas!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts will presumably be taking turns playing ring announcer.

Triple Threat Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger.  Three-way brawl to start.  Crowd chants “KOFI!”  Ziggler is the first to climb for the belt while the other 2 guys are outside.  Kofi and Swagger come back in and push the ladder over.  Kofi and Swagger brawl a bit.  Swagger is sent outside.  Ziggler brings in another ladder to hit Kofi with.  It’s much shorter than the original ladder.  Ziggler makes a ladder bridge in the corner and throws Kofi onto it, then hits a neckbreaker off of it.  Swagger comes back in, wrist taped from an earlier spot with Kofi, and gives Ziggler the decapitator into the ladder.  Kofi springboards and kicks Swagger through the ladder.  Wacky stuff happens.  Ziggler hits a Fameasser on Kofi onto the ladder, which Swagger is under.  Cool spot.  Vickie Guerrero gets in the ring while everybody else is outside.  Vickie decides to climb the ladder.  Kofi climbs up the other side.  Vickie keeps climbing anyway.  Kofi teases pushing the ladder over.  Ziggler begs him to stop.  Swagger hits Kofi with a ladder.  Vickie climbs down, screams, and bails.  Swagger throws the small ladder at Ziggler.  Kofi sends Swagger outside.  Ziggler takes Kofi and himself outside.  Back inside, Swagger locks Kofi in the ankle lock.  Kofi tries to climb the ladder.  Ziggler climbs over him and tries to take down the belt.  Swagger tries to climb over Kofi.  Kofi knocks him down.  Kofi and Ziggler fight atop the ladder.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper on top of the ladder!  Kofi breaks free and knocks Ziggler to the mat.  Swagger climbs up and fights with Kofi.  They get the belt down, but drop it to the mat.  Ziggler grabs it and is declared the winner in 8:57.  Awesome match.  The finish sounded stupid on paper, but it was well executed.

Lawler blames Cole for encouraging people to interfere in Ladder matches.


Wade Barrett gives Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Husky Harris, and Michael McGillicutty a pep talk in the Nexus locker room.  David Otunga is out from being completely massacred on Raw.

Tables Match: Michelle McCool & Layla vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya & Beth Phoenix.  They brawl.  Phoenix and Natalya hit slams, then bring in the painted pink table from Smackdown.  Phoenix gets both of LayCool on her shoulders.  They escape, but get clotheslined.  McCool gets knocked off the apron, but overshoots a ringside table.  LayCool get the advantage and beat up Beth and Nattie.  Beth takes a nasty bump out the ring.  LayCool bring in another table and work over Natalya.  McCool goes for a top rope Styles Clash.  Beth revives and makes the save.  Beth goes for a press slam, but McCool escapes.  LayCool make a comeback.  Layla sends Natalya out of the ring.  Layla tries to suplex Phoenix through a table, but fails because she’s weak.  Natalya comes back in.  They go for a double press slam, but McCool saves.  Natalya goes for a catapult on McCool, but Layla saves.  Natalya puts both of them in the Sharpshooter!  She holds them as Beth sets up the special table.  Beth and Natalya get psyched up, but LayCool rally.  They send Beth outside and double team Natalya.  LayCool go for a double superplex on Natalya, but Phoenix makies the save.  Layla rams her into the post.  They go for the superplex again.  Natalya pushes them both off onto the table, but they’re so skinny the table doesn’t break.  Natalya comes off the top with a splash through the table to win it in 9:24.  Really good match.  Best women’s match I’ve seen in a long time.

Lots and lots of WWE on USA this week!

World Heavyweight Champion Kane cuts an awesome Christmas promo backstage, then tears up some presents and a Christmas tree.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov come out.  Santino cuts a hilarious promo.  He says that TLC stands for “Totally Lethal Cobra.”  Love this promo.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Santino Marella & Valdimir Kozlov (c) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Nexus (w/ Michael McGillcutty & Husky Harris).  Gabriel and Santino start with a great sequence.  Santino drops Gabriel with an elbow smash.  Slater tags in and gets schooled by Santino.  They have a good exchange too.  Slater gets the advantage and works over Santino.  Crowd chants “Wendy!” at Slater.  Santino frightens Slater by threatening the Cobra, then tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov beats up Slater and sends him out of the ring with a fall away slam.  Kozlov goes outside and rams Slater into the apron.  Harris chop blocks Kozlov’s leg behind the referee’s back.  Nexus get the heat on Kozlov.  Kozlov sends Slater flying with a battering ram headbutt and makes the hot tag.  Santino runs wild on Gabriel and goes for the Cobra.  McGillicutty attacks Santino to cause the DQ in 6:28.  Really fun match.  The Nexus beat the hell out of Santino and Kozlov.  Wade Barrett comes out with a chair and beats the tag champs with it.  Those bastards!

Please, don’t try this at home!

Smackdown vs. Raw 2011!

Moments ago, The Nexus beat up Santino & Kozlov!

Ladder Match to determine the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship: Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  Sheamus is still wearing his kingly regalia.  They lock up.  King Sheamus gets a side headlock takeover and lands a shoulder block.  They lock up again and tumble out of the ring together.  Sheamus sends Morrison into the barricade, then makes a ladder bridge between the apron and the announce table.  He whips Morrison, who slides under the ladder.  Morrison beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus rallies and throws Morrison into the crowd.  Morrison comes off the barricade with a clothesline.  Back in the ring, the fight with a ladder.  Morrison comes off the top rope, leaps OVER the ladder, and hits Sheamus with a corkscrew elbow smash.  Morrison sets up the ladder in a way that he wouldn’t be able to get the contract anyway.  Sheamus traps him the tree of woe on the ladder, then pushes the ladder over onto him, presumably as punishment for his stupidity.  Sheamus works Morrison’s knee, which was injured in the fall.  Sheamus uses the ladder brilliantly to destroy the shit out of Morrison’s knee.  Sheamus finally climbs the ladder.  Morrison throws another ladder at him to knock him down.  Awesome.  Sheamus seems to take offense to the fact that Morrison is still fighting, so he destroys the shit out of Morrison’s knee some more.  Morrison hits a drop toe hold, sending Sheamus crashing into the ladder that he was holding.  Morrison drops Sheamus with a head kick.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker.  They bring in new ladders.  LADDER FIGHT!  Morrison wins.  Awesome.  He sets up a ladder bridge in the corner.  Morrison gives Sheamus an atomic drop onto a ladder, then sends him outside.  Morrison throws the ladder outside onto Sheamus.  Morrison sets up the ladder that he had used to make the bridge that was never used.  He climbs the ladder as best he can with one leg.  Sheamus comes back in and delivers the brogue kick to the injured knee!  Sheamus throws Morrison outside  and climbs the ladder.  The contract is too far away.  Morrison hobbles up the ladder and knocks Sheamus down.  Sheamus pulls Morrison off the ladder and goes for a powerbomb, but Morrison sends him out of the ring with a headscissors!  Morrison hops up the ladder.  Sheamus comes back in and pushes the ladder over.  Sheamus goes for a move, but Morrison slips out.  Sheamus back body drops him out of the ring.  Morrison narrowly avoids the ladder bridge.  Morrison makes it back up and tries to fucking superplex Sheamus off the in-ring ladder.  Sheamus fights him off.  They fight on the ladder.  Sheamus ends up taking the bump out of the ring THROUGH the ladder bridge.  Morrison comes back in and climbs the ladder.  Sheamus struggles his way back into the ring and tries to push the ladder over.  Morrison catches the rope with his foot, tips the ladder back over and drops Sheamus with a kick.  Morrison hops up the ladder and takes down the contract to win it in 19:08.  Fucking great match.  I love that Morrison never stopped selling the injured knee.

Buy crappy WWE movies for Christmas!

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Champion The Miz.  He has Alex Riley bring him the belt in a briefcase for some reason.

Todd Grisham tries to interview Wade Barrett, but Husky Harris won’t let him.  They go into the locker room and find that Gabriel, Slater, and McGillicutty have been beaten up.

Tables Match for the WWE Championship: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Randy Orton.  They show the night Miz back door’d his way into the title.  Orton beats up Miz to start.  If it’s a Tables Match, why isn’t Riley openly interfering?  Riley pulls Miz out of the corner to help him avoid Orton.  The referee bitches at him, but what the hell is he going to do about it?  Orton throws Miz out of the ring and pulls out a table from under the ring.  Orton beats up Miz.  Riley puts the table back under the ring.  Orton suplexes Miz on the floor.  Orton tries to bring in the table again, but Miz kicks it into his face.  They finally get the table set up.  Orton goes for a powerslam off the steps.  Miz slips out and trips Orton, sending Orton’s face into the steps.  Miz hits Orton with the steps and sets up another table.  The table collapses when Miz puts Orton on it.  Miz sets it back up and checks its sturdiness.  He puts Orton on the table and goes to the top rope.  Orton gets off the table.  Miz goes after him and gets his ass kicked.  Miz fights back and takes Orton back inside.  Miz hits the corner clothesline.  Orton hits an Angle Slam.  Orton throws a table on top of Miz.  You’ve got it backwards, Randy.  Orton hits a superplex, but Riley moves the table out of the way and takes it out of the ring.  They trade punches.  Orton hits some clotheslines and a powerslam.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER.  Riley tries to attack Orton on the outside, but gets clotheslined.  Orton brings a table back into the ring.  Orton hits the 3.0 and humps the mat.  He sets up a powerbomb.  Riley distracts Orton.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale.  Orton pushes him off and bumps the ref.  Orton RKOs Riley and powerbombs him through the table.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Orton, then moves Riley and puts Orton in the broken table.  Miz revives the referee, who awards him the match in 13:00.  Awesome finish.  But wait!  The referee sees the replay and orders the match to CONTINUE!  A pissed off Orton beats the shit out of Miz.  Orton throws Miz back into the ring and gets on the apron.  Miz throws Riley into Orton, sending Orton crashing through a table.  Miz wins for real in 15:16.  Good match.  I love both of the finishes.

Royal Rumble hype.

Rosa Mendez admires Alberto Del Rio’s car.  They speak Spanish to each other.  Edge jumps in the back seat.  Del Rio says he doesn’t care of Edge abducts his ring announcer.  Edge puts over his experience in TLC matches.


Tony Chimel does a poor job of explaining a TLC match.  Rey Mysterio is rocking a Gene Simmons mask tonight.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Fatal Four-Way Tables, Ladders, & Chairs Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Kane (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge.  Kane and Del Rio attack their respective rivals.  Kane and Edge brawl outside while Del Rio and Mysterio brawl in the ring.  Mysterio sends Del Rio into the turnbuckle with a flying headscissors, then hits a sliding dropkick.  Kane and Edge knock each other down on the outside.  Striker says some factually incorrect things.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Del Rio pushes it over.  Mysterio takes advantage of the opportunity to take out Kane and Edge on the way down.  Del Rio climbs the ladder.  Mysterio brings in another ladder.  Del Rio cuts him off with a kick.  Mysterio gives Del Rio a drop toe hold into a ladder.  Mysterio climbs the vertical ladder.  Del Rio grabs his leg and throws him at the corner ladder.  Mysterio saves himself and hits Del Rio with a seated senton using the ladder.  Kane and Edge make it into the ring and brawl.  Kane throws a ladder at Mysterio and Del Rio on the outside, then tries to chokeslam Edge.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge brings in a tall ladder.  Kane sets a ladder on the apron.  Edge hits him with a baseball slide dropkick into the ladder.  Edge sets up a table on the outside.  Kane rams Edge’s head into the announce table, throws him over the barricade, boots Del Rio in the face, and punches Mysterio.  Kane is on a rampage!  Kane tries to set up a table and breaks the legs off.  He punches Mysterio again in frustration and stomps Del Rio in frustration.  Kane goes for a double chokeslam through the table on Mysterio and Del Rio, but Edge prevents it.  All 3 opponents gang up on Kane, then Edge and Mysterio turn on Del Rio.  Kane rallies and kicks everyone’s ass.  Edge sends Kane into the post.  Edge and Mysterio put Kane on a table at ringside.  Edge comes off of the ladder in the ring and splashes Kane through the table.  Mysterio and Del Rio fight in the ring.  Del Rio lands an enzuigiri.  Del Rio tries to use a chair.  Mysterio gives him a drop toe hold and goes for the 619.  Edge spears Mysterio and Del Rio in quick succession.  Edge climbs the ladder.  Kane comes back in and pushes it over.  Edge crotches himself on the top rope.  Del Rio and Mysterio clothesline Kane out of the ring.  Kane pulls them both out and kicks their asses.  Kane hits everyone with a chair.  Everyone is on the stage now.  Del Rio hits Kane with an enzuigiri.  Edge follows with a spear on Kane.  Mysterio climbs the prop tables hanging from the set and gives Kane the seated senton.  Mysterio runs down the ring and tries to set up the tall ladder.  Del Rio makes it back to the ring to cut him off.  Edge makes it back too.  Mysterio hits Del Rio with the 619.  He tries to deliver one to Edge, but Edge holds up a chair that catches Mysterio’s legs.  Edge and Del Rio climb the ladder.  Mysterio sets up a shorter ladder next to them and climbs up,.  He knocks Del Rio off and switches over to the tall ladder.  Edge and Mysterio fight at the top of the ladder.  They both crash to the mat.  Ricardo tries to revive Del Rio, then says “fuck it” and climbs the ladder himself.  Kane has made it back to the ring.  Ricardo begs off, but Kane chokeslams him off the ladder.  Kane chokeslams Del Rio, then chokeslams Edge off the apron through a table.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold onto a chair, then gives Kane the 619, then knocks him out of the ring with a chair shot.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Del Rio comes in and pulls him down.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special and tortures Rey’s arm.  Rey taps, but it doesn’t count.  Del Rio climbs the ladder and touches the belt.  Mysterio pushes the ladder over.  Del Rio takes a crazy bump off the ladder through a ringside table.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Kane comes back to life.  Mysterio tries a springboard moonsault, but Kane catches him and hits the Tombstone Piledriver!  Kane laughs.  He has a cut on his head.  I hope they don’t stomp the match to tend to it like morons.  Kane climbs the ladder.  Edge comes back in and its him with a chair a bunch.  Edge spears Kane off the apron and Kane crashes through a table.  Edge climbs the ladder and takes down the belt to become a 10-time World Champion in 22:44.  Crazy fun match.

Lots of USA on WWE this week!

National Guard rules!

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out in a suit and bashes the crowd for being fat.  The Big Santa and the Bella Twins come out and throw out gifts.  Rhodes makes fun of him walking around in his underwear in Knucklehead.  Show plugs the DVD and tells Rhodes to stop being such an uptight jerk.  Rhodes bitches about not being in movies.  Show offers him a role in Knucklehead 2 and touches his suit.  Rhodes throws a fit about the latter.  Show gives him a spinebuster and rips his suit off.

Wade Barrett and Husky Harris walk backstage.  Harris walks through a door way and is hit by a chair.  John Cena says “That’s everybody.  See you out there!”

TLC song!  It sucks.  You can download the suckitude on iTunes.


CM Punk comes out to replace Striker on commentary for the main event.  He should have done that before the first match.

Chair Match: Wade Barrett vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Barrett tries to bail, but Cena takes him over with a side headlock.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Barrett bails and goes for a chair.  Cena cuts him off and throws chairs away so Barrett can’t get them.  Barrett drops him with a punch and gets his hands on a chair.  Barrett swings, missers, and hits the announce table, swings, misses, and hits the post, swings, misses, and hits the steps.  Cena bails into the ring, then bails again to grab a chair of his own.  CHAIR FIGHT!  They hit chairs, then drop them.  Lame.  Cena beats down Barrett, then sets up a chair and bulldogs Barrett into it.  Cover gets 2.  Cena swings a chair, but Barrett hides behind the referee.  They fight over the chair and throw it outside.  Barrett beats up Cena.  Barrett hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett drops Cena with a series of punches.  Outside, Barrett whips Cena into the steps.  Barrett swings a chair at Cena’s head, but Cena avoids it and crawls up the aisle.  Barrett follows and wallops him with a chair.  Barrett carries the steps halfway up the aisle, then wallops Cena across the back with another chair on the stage.  Barrett goes for something on the stage, but Cena back body drops him.  Cena disappears, then comes back with a rolling office chair.  He puts Barrett in the chair, pours water on him to wake him up, then rolls him down the ramp into the steps.  Awesome spot.  Barrett hits Cena in the gut with a chair and boots him in the head.  Barrett puts a chair around Cena’s neck and rams him into the post.  Ouch.  Back inside, Barrett works Cena’s neck with a chair.  Barrett sits on the chair on top of Cena.  Cena powers the chair up and pushes Barrett over.  Cena blocks the oncoming chair and goes for his comeback, but shoulder blocks a chair.  Barrett ties Cena up in the ropes and beats on him.  Barrett hits him in the gut and back with the chair.  Cena’s selling is so fucking great.  Cena fights out and hits the spinning suplex deal and the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Barrett slips out and hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett wedges a chair between the top and middle turnbuckles.  He tries to throw Cena into it, but Cena counters him.  He goes for the STF, but Barrett kicks him off into the chair.  Cover gets 2.  Barrett comes off the middle rope with a chair elbow drop, but Cena avoids it.  Cena gets the chair and wallops Barret with it in the gut and back.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser with the chair!  Cena sets up 6 open chairs facing each other and gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment onto the contraption.  Fucking ouch.  Cena gets the pin in 19:10.  Great match.

Cena decides he’s not done with Barrett just yet.  He follows Barrett up the ramp and whacks him with the chair some more.  Barrett tries to crawl away around the set.  Cena puts Barrett under a giant palette and pulls the prop chairs hanging from the set down onto it.  Great blow off to the feud.

Fantastic show.  Thumbs WAY up.  I highly recommend it.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 12/17/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Edge comes out and cuts a promo.  They show a video recapping the WORST STORYLINE EVER between Edge, Kane, and Paul Bearer, complete with WACKY MUSIC~!  Edge wants to forget that it ever happened, and so do I, but what has been seen cannot be unseen.  Edge talks about what a dick Kane is, which somehow justifies Edge being a dick.  He’ll win the belt Sunday or whatever.

Video of The Miz on a talk show hosted by that idiot who was in that Taxi movie with Queen Latifah.

Tonight, The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio!  Commercials.

Edge talks to Teddy Long backstage.  They’re worried that Kane won’t show up for the PPV.  Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio come in and bicker about who should get a title shot.  Long adds Mysterio and Del Rio to the TLC Match at the PPV.  It’ll be a three-way or a four-way, depending on whether or not Kane shows up.

Kofi Kingston & Kaval vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) & Jack Swagger.  Swagger and Kaval lock up.  Swagger beats on him.  They’re in the corner, so the referee gets in the way.  Kaval goes for a handspring attack, but Swagger catches him.  Kaval lands a spin kick for 2.  Kaval ranas Swagger out of the ring.  Kofi throws Ziggler outside.  Kofi and Kaval hit stereo suicide dives.  Commercials.  Swagger cranks on Kaval’s shoulders and neck.  The heels used nefarious tactics to get the advantage during the break.  They get the heat on Kaval.  Kaval lands on on his feet from a German suplex and ALMOST makes the tag, but Swagger cuts him off, so they keep the heat going.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Kaval turns it into a sunset flip into a double stomp.  Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild on Ziggler.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Ziggler ducks.  Kofi hits the S.O.S.  Swagger saves.  Kaval takes Swagger to the floor.  Ziggler gets a schoolboy.  Kofi rolls through and hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 10:54.  Good little tag match.  Swagger decks Ziggler after the match.  Vickie screams at him.  I wish he’d give her the Doctor Bomb.

Jack Korpela interviews WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).  He’s on Smackdown because he’s super busy.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

JTG does a segment called “Str8 Outta Brooklyn” where he just talks about random shit.

Kelly Kelly and Kaitlyn talk while Kelly does her makeup.  Drew McIntyre hits on Kelly.  Kaitlyn blows him off for her.  That was pointless.

Speaking of pointless, we get more Cody Rhodes grooming tips.  Commercials.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters.  Rhodes shoves Masters, then covers his face.  Masters hits him in the back, then slaps him and beats on him.  Masters hits a press slam.  Masters hits corner punches.  Rhodes hot shots him into the top rope and hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 1:07.  That was abrupt.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way!  Commercials.

Non-Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).  They lock up.  Mysterio takes him down and goes for a sleeper.  Miz gets the ropes.  They lock up again.  Miz grabs a side head lock and hits a shoulder block.  Mysterio does the drop down, leapfrog, eat a clothesline bit.  Wait, that’s not how that usually goes, is it?  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors, then stomps Miz in the corner and hits a running dropkick.  Mysterio goes up top.  Miz trips him.  Riley gets a cheap shot behind the referee’s back.  Miz hits a sliding dropkick on Mysterio against the post.  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  Mysterio gets out and eats a boot to the face.  Mysterio ducks a running kick and fights back.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Miz bails.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Riley helps Miz up, then takes Rey’s seated senton off the apron.  Miz boots Mysterio in the face.  Commercials.  Miz has Mysterio in the double arm pull into the knee thing.  Mysterio fights out.  Miz hits him with a modified uranage for 2.  Mysterio hits a spinning DDT and a rebound cross body for 2.  Miz ducks a Buzzsaw kick and sends Mysterio into the turnbuckles.  Miz hits the corner clothesline and goes up top.  Mysterio cuts him off and hits a top rope Frankensteiner!  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  Alex Riley gets on the apron.  Alberto Del Rio appears and trips Mysterio.  Miz gets a schoolboy for 2.  Mysterio dropkicks Del Rio through the ropes and goes for the diving splash on Miz.  Miz gets his knees up, then gets the pin 13:15.  Good match, much better than the Raw match, but with the same interference.  Del Rio attacks Mysterio.  Edge runs in for the save.  Edge and Mysterio fight off Miz and Del Rio.  Teddy Long comes out and books Miz & Del Rio vs. Edge & Mysterio for later tonight.  Damn, Mysterio and Miz just did an almost 15 minute match.  Commercials.

Smack of the Night: The Diva Battle Royal from Raw.

The Slammy Award winning and obnoxious Michelle McCool and Layla come out to be obnoxious… and Slammy Award winning.  They don’t want to do the match at the PPV.  WWE Divas Champion Natalya and Beth Phoenix bring out a gift wrapped table.  They banter.  LayCool are obnoxious some more.  Beth unwraps the table.  It has painting of LayCool as ugly witches.  They fight.  The heels escape getting put through the table… for now.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov are headed our way!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Tyler Reks.  Snatino grabs Reks in a side headlock.  Reks breaks free.  They shoulder block each other.  Neither fall, but Santino hurts himself and tags out.  Reks slams Kozlov.  Kozlov hits the battering ram headbutts.  Reks knocks him down and stomps on him.  Chavo tags himself in and hits a basement dropkick for 1.  Kozlov throws him off.  Kozlov hits a powerslam.  Santino tags in and hits Chavo with a judo throw for 2.  Chavo avoids the falling headbutt and beats on Santino.  Reks tags in and beats up Santino.  Cover gets 2.  Chavo tags in to keep the heat going.  He fails, as Santino immediately makes his comeback and makes the hot tag to Kozlov.  Chavo tries to cut him off, but Kozlov kicks his ass.  Chavo comes off the top, but Kozlov shoves him away, then pushes Reks off the apron.  Santino tags in and hits Chavo with the Cobra, followed by a schoolboy for the pin in 3:38.  Fun for what it was.

Tonight, Edge & Mysterio vs. Miz & Del Rio!  Commercials.

Ezekiel Jackson comes to Smackdown next week!  Why did they trade him to Raw in the first place then?

Raw Rebound.

TLC hype.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  The main event is NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) & Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge & Rey Mysterio Jr.  Miz and Edge lock up.  Edge grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulder block.  Edge takes Miz down with a headlock takeover.  Miz takes over and tags in Del Rio.  Del Rio hits a body slam for 2.  Del Rio applies a rear chin lock.  Stuff happens.  Miz tags back in.  Mysterio tags in and double teams Miz with Edge.  Cover gets 2.  Miz avoids Mysterio in the corner and Mysterio spears the post.  Miz hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Del Rio tags in and keeps the heat on his enemy.  Mysterio takes his “sliding under the ropes to the floor” bump.  Del Rio puts the boots to him on the outside.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Mysterio continues to play face in peril until he rolls through the (mandatory in every Mysterio match) sunset flip and lands a head kick on Del Rio.  Edge and Miz tag in.  Edge runs wild.  Edge goes for the spear.  Riley trips him.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Del Rio saves.  Cut the backstage, where Kane has killed people.  Mysterio hits the 619 on Del Rio.  Edge spears Miz.  World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out and attacks Edge.  Del Rio attacks Mysterio.  Pretty much everyone comes out to break up the fight between Kane and Edge: Kaval, Kofi Kingston, Curt Hawkins, Trent Barreta, Drew McIntyre, JTG, Chris Masters, Dolph Ziggler, Vladimir Kozlov, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Jack Swagger, and Santino Marella.  Of course, Kane and Edge fight off the roster.  Kane chokeslams Barreta.  Edge spears Kane.  Fade to black.  I was digging this match until the non-finish.

Best Smackdown in many weeks.  By that I mean it was decent instead of fucking horrible.

WWE Superstars 12/16/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Curt Hawkins.  They lock up.  JTG gets a side headlock takeover.  JTG lands a shoulder block for 1.  JTG works Hawkins’ arm.  Cover gets 2.  Yeah, a cover off of arm work.  I don’t get it either.  Hawkins slaps JTG in the corner.  JTG goes for the Mugshot, but Hawkins throws him out of the ring to the floor.  Hawkins rams JTG’s back into the apron.  Back inside, Hawkins works JTG over.  JTG fights out of a rear chin lock.  Double clothesline spot.  Insta-commercials.  Hawkins has the rear chin lock clamped on again.  JTG escapes via backdrop suplex.  JTG tries to make a comeback, but Hawkins slams him for 2.  Hawkins goes for the diving elbow drop, but JTG avoids it.  JTG hits the Mugshot for 2.  JTG hits the Sling Blade for the pin (6:01 shown).  Fine little match here.

NXT recap.

Tonight, Yoshi Tatsu vs. Drew McIntyre!  Now THAT is a main event!

Scott Stanford and CM Punk are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Zack Ryder vs. Darren Young.  They lock up, then shove each other in the corner.  Ryder Woo Woos.  Young gets a schoolboy for 2.  Young rabs a headlock, then hits a shoulder block and a lariat.  Ryder lands a head kick from the apron.  Ryder hits the bottom rope decapitator into the turnbuckle, then applies a rear chin lock.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ryder beats up Young in the corner.  Ryder hits a face wash(!) for 2.  Back to the rear chin lock.  Young rallies and hits a belly to belly overhead through.  Nobody does that right anymore.  Young makes his comeback and hits a nice gut buster for 2.  Ryder goes for a neckbreaker.  Young counters and goes for a reverse cradle.  Ryder counters and hits the Rough Ryder for the pin in 5:02.  It was fine.

Tonight, Yoshi vs. Drew!

Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Raw Rebound.

TLC hype.

The main event is NEXT!

Drew McIntyre vs. Yoshi Tatsu.  It’s Raw vs. Smackdown for no apparent reason.  McIntyre is being a dick and not taking Yoshi seriously.  They lock up.  McIntyre pushes Yoshi to the corner and pulls his hair.  They lock up again.  McIntyre grabs a side headlock, then hits a shoulder block.  That happens in every match ever.  They lock up a third time.  Yoshi lands some chops.  McIntyre beats on Yoshi in the corner.  Yoshi responds in kind.  Yoshi lands a head kick for 2.  McIntyre ducks another head kick and bails.  Yoshi follows and they brawl outside.  McIntyre gives Yoshi a shoulder breaker onto the apron!  That’s kind of awesome.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre works Yoshi’s injured shoulder.  Yoshi fights out and gets a flying crucifix hold for 2!  McIntyre drops Kofi with a boot, then gets a single leg jackknife hold for 2.  Punk name drops Chono, Misawa, and Jumbo.  Awesome.  McIntyre works the shoulder and heels it up.  McIntyre hits an arm breaker for 2.  Yoshi dropkicks McIntyre out of the ring.  McIntyre comes back in and accidentally spears the post when Yoshi side steps him.  Yoshi lands some chops and kicks.  Yoshi lands a spin kick.  Cover, but McIntyre gets the ropes.  McIntyre sends Yoshi to the apron.  Yoshi lands a head kick, then goes up top.  McIntyre avoids the diving spin kick and h its the Future Shock for the pin (9:38 shown).  Awesome little TV match.  I loved this.

Good show this week.  I loved the main event!  There’s a good chance that that will be the best WWE TV match this week.

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/13/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Slammy Awards open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and CM Punk are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette comes out and acts like a croaky voiced spaz.  He’s presenting the Shocker of the Year award.  The candidates are The Miz cashing in Money In The Bank to win the WWE Championship, the original Nexus attack on John Cena, Paul Bearer turning on The Undertaker, and Randy Orton kicking Chris Jericho in the head.  Nexus win.  Wade Barrett coming out to accept the award gets a way more positive reaction than David Arquette’s presence.  Barrett talks about the ultimatum Nexus gave him: to either rehire John Cena, or face mutiny from the group he created.  He said he’ll decide later tonight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000, booking Barrett in a match right now against The Big Show.  Show takes Barrett’s Slammy!

Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show.  Barrett hides in the ropes, then bails.  Show finally gets hold of him after a minute and a half of fucking around.  He caves Barrett’s chest in with a the big chop.  Barrett pokes Show in the eye and beats on him.  Show finally collects himself and starts kicking Barrett’s ass on the outside.  Back inside, Barrett immediately bails, grabs his Slammy, and leaves.  Show wins by count-out in 3:41.  Well, there ya go.

Vote now for Superstar of the Year on!  Commercials.

New Orleans!

Tonight, a Diva of the Year Battle Royal!

Kelly Kelly and Tyson Kidd (w/ Jackson Andrews) come out to present the Despicable Me Award.  Yes, they’re naming awards after kids’ movies now.  Kidd introduces is big dude and insults Kelly a bunch.  Kelly makes lame comebacks.  The nominees are Drew McIntyre being a dick to Teddy Long, Kane burying The Undertaker, Vince McMahon kicking Bret Hart in the balls, and CM Punk singing “Happy Birthday” to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.  CM Punk wins, and rightfully so.  Punk happily accepts his award.  He says he gets even with people that have wronged him and there’s someone backstage that he still has to get even with.

WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins) & Kofi Kingston vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) & Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  Entrances, then commercials, so the match is JIP.  I hate that shit.  Ziggler has Bryan grounded with a rear chin lock.  Bryan fights out.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Dibiase tags in briefly to beat up Bryan.  Ziggler come back in and hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  The heels make quick tags and keep the heat on Bryan.  Bryan and Dibiase do a double cross body spot.  Dibiase rolls out of the ring.  Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild on Ziggler.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and the Trouble In Paradise for the pin (3:07 shown).  Why couldn’t they have given these guys some time?

Tonight, Sheamus vs. John Morrison!  Right now, Superstar of the Year voting on!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov come out to present the Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year Award.  They bicker, then make up.  The nominees are Mike Tyson punching out Chris Jericho, Pee Wee Herman annoying The Miz, me, and everyone else who watched, Wayne Brady getting RKO’d by Randy Orton, and William Shatner singing entrance themes.  “And the salami goes to…” Pee Wee Herman.  We get a pre-taped acceptance speech from Herman.  Ugh.

The Nexus meet backstage and bicker.  Commercials.

Mark Henry vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Henry goes for Rhodes while he’s in the ropes putting his mirror jacket away.  What’s the point of that?  Henry messes up Rhodes’ hair and face.  Rhodes sends Henry into the turnbuckles, then beats him up.  Henry makes his comeback.  Rhodes avoids him in the corner and hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Rhodes his a diving knee drop for the pin in 2:49.  Neat finish.

Up next, the Holy %&@*#! Move of the Year.  Yes, that’s exactly what it says.  Commercials.  The theme song for this show is awful.

Jerry Lawler and Vickie Guerrero present of the Holy Symbols Move of the Year Award.  Vickie is obnoxious.  The nominees are John Morrison’s dive off the stage onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz, Kofi Kingston’s Ladder Boom Drop on Drew McIntyre, John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment to Batista off of a car through the stage, and Randy Orton’s Shooting Star RKO to Evan Bourne.  John Cena wins.  I demand a recount!  Wade Barrett comes out to take the award.  He’s come to make his decision.  He demands that Cena comes to the ring.  Cena comes in through the crowd.  The rest of the Nexus come out and surround the ring.  Barrett rehires Cena, with 2 conditions: Cena faces Barrett in a Chair Match at the PPV and he faces David Otunga tonight.  Cena happily agrees to both.  Nexus attack Cena.  Barrett hits Cena with a chair.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

The announcers go over the Slammy Awards that have been awarded so far tonight.

David Arquette is back in a sequined suit, being a croaking spaz again.  He plugs some theater he’s starting.  The nominees for WWE Universe Fan Reaction of the Year are: Weird kid reacting to John Cena joining the Nexus, loser crying when Shawn Michaels’ career ended, dumbstruck moron with his hand on his head, and the Angry Miz Girl.  Angry Miz Girl wins.  Angry Miz Girl herself comes out to accept the award.  She tries to talk, but she’s a little girl, dude!  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz creeps it up, then steals her Slammy.  He goes to the ring with Riley and Arquette and cuts a promo.  iBooker dings in.  Cole announces that both Miz and Orton will face former World Champions tonight.  Miz’s opponent is Rey Mysterio!

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley & David Arquette) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Miz beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio ranas Miz to the floor and hits the seated senton off the apron.  Commercials.  Miz fights out of a double arm grab and hits a flying head scissors.  Miz fights the flippy bulldog and they end up botching up.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  Alberto Del Rio comes out to his music to distract Mysterio.  Miz sends Mysterio face first into the ring apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Miz beats up Mysterio some more.  Miz goes for a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits the seated senton.  Mysterio hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio rolls through a schoolboy and lands a head kick for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619 again.  Del Rio gets on the apron.  Miz accidentally knocks him off.  Mysterio gets a schoolboy for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619 again.  Riley distracts the referee.  Del Rio sneaks in and trips Mysterio.  Miz gets a half assed inside cradle for the pin in 7:02.  Overbooked mess.  Mysterio chases Del Rio out of the arena.  Miz and his posse celebrate the victory.  The iBooker dings in again.  Cole announces that tonight, Randy Orton will face Alex Riley & former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette.  Arquette is the only one that is excited by this prospect.

Tonight, Diva of the Year Battle Royal.  Next, John Morrison vs. Sheamus.  Commercials.

New Orleans!

Edge comes out to present the Oh Snap!  Meltdown of the Year Award.  Who the fuck names these awards?  What happened to stuff like, I don’t know, MATCH OF THE YEAR?  Edge says he needs  a co-presenter.  CHRISTIAN comes out!  So they’re friends again?  Christian still wants to kick Alberto Del Rio’s ass, so at least they remembered his storyline.  Nominees are: Big Show tearing up Jack Swagger’s stuff (shouldn’t Swagger be the nominee?), Alberto Del Rio injuring Rey Mysterio, Edge destroying the iBooker V1, and Batista quitting.  Some of those lead me to believe that these people don’t know what a meltdown is.  Edge wins.  Edge freaks out and bitches about the iBooker.  Christian plays the iBooker email tone on his iPhone as a joke.  Edge calls Michael Cole and tool.  I’m glad to see Christian, but this was stupid.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Sheamus beats the shit out of Morrison in the corner.  The referee breaks them up.  Morrison gets a takedown and beats on Sheamus.  THE FUCKING REFEREE GETS IN THE WAY AGAIN.  THE FUCKING RETARDED REFEREE DQ’S BOTH OF THEM AT THE 33 SECOND MARK!  THE REFEREE FUCKING DISQUALIFIED THEM FOR HAVING A FUCKING MATCH.  iBooker dings in.  Cole announces Sheamus vs. John Morrison in a #1 Contender Ladder Match at the PPV.  They fight some more.  Sheamus KO’s Morrison and throws a temper tantrum.  Sheamus hits Morrison with a ladder, then throws him out of the ring onto the ladder.  Let’s remember what’s important here: THEY WERE DISQUALIFIED FOR FIGHTING!  THEY WERE IN A WRESTLING MATCH AGAINST EACH OTHER AND THEY WERE DISQUALIFIED FOR FIGHTING.

Later, Orton vs. two tards and Cena vs. another tard.  Commercials.

JTG and William Regal present the Knucklehead Moment of the Year Award.  Nominees are Big Show taking CM Punk’s mask off, Michelle McCool & Layla losing to Mae Young, Beth Phoenix eliminating Great Khali from the Royal Rumble, and Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov dancing.  LayCool win.  UGH, that means I have to hear them talk.  They’re happy about this.  Clusterfuck mess is next.  Commercials.

Divas of the Year Battle Royal featuring Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Maryse, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Rosa Mendez, Alicia Fox, Kaitlyn, Tamina, Gail Kim, Melina, Beth Phoenix, and WWE Divas Champion Natalya.  Everyone surrounds LayCool and beats the crap out of them.  Tamina eliminates Kaitlyn and Rosa Mendez in quick succession.  The Bella eliminate Tamina.  Eve eliminates one of the Bellas.  LayCool eliminate the other Bella.  Natalya eliminates Maryse.  Kelly tries to rana McCool out of the ring, but ends up getting eliminated herself.  Phoenix Glam Slams Melina into the top rope and eliminates her.  Phoenix eliminates Layla.  Layla throws a fit and tries to eliminate Phoenix.  McCool eliminates Phoenix thanks to the distraction.  Natalya eliminates Gail and Fox.  McCool eliminates Natalya to win it in 3:26.  Fucking ugh.  iBooker dings in YET AGAIN.  Cole announces LayCool vs. Natalya & Beth Phoenix in a Tables Match for the PPV.  I have no idea when or where Eve was eliminated.

Edge is headed our way.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind features the WORST STORYLINE EVER, the Edge/Kane/Paul Bearer love triangle.

Edge vs. Jack Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger hits a belly to belly, then rolls Edge tot he ropes and stomps on him, just to make sure the referee will get in the way.  Swagger then chokes Edge against the ropes, to make sure it will get broken.  Swagger whips Edge into the corner, then pushes him towards the ropes some more.  Edge fights back.  Swagger hits a gut buster.  Eventual cover gets 2.  Swagger applies an arm hold.  Edge fights out.  Swagger boots him in the face for 2.  Edge makes his comeback.  Weird face drop thing gets 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger goes for the Vader Bomb.  Edge gets his knees up.  Swagger gets the ankle lock.  Edge gets a cradle for 2.  Edge counters the Doctor Bomb and hits the Edgecution.  Edge hits the spear for the pin in 4:45.  This wasn’t any good.  Following the awesome Edgecution with Edge’s shitty spear is most backwards finishing sequence since the Rock Bottom —> People’s Elbow.

Alex Riley whines to The Miz backstage.  David Arquette comes in being a spaz.  Riley is worried.  Miz wants to put Randy Orton through a table.  Commercials.

Amin Okar won some video game contest.

The Big Show comes out to present the Moment of the Year Award.  The nominees are John Cena being fired because of his own idiocy, Sheamus hitting Triple H from behind with a lead pipe before Triple H could profess his love for Shawn Michaels, Edge spearing Chris Jericho off the announce tables at WrestleMania, and Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania.  Undertaker vs. Michaels wins.  We get a pre-taped acceptance speech from Michaels.

Tonight, Cena vs. Otunga.  Next, Orton vs. the Miz tard and the former WCW World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.  The music for this show really is awful.  Commercials.

Handicap Match: Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley & David Arquette (w/ WWE Champion The Miz).  Orton beats up Riley.  Riley knocks down Orton and tags in Arquette.  Orton recovers, kicks him, and Arquette falls over.  Orton humps the mat.  Arquette tags out and bails.  Orton hits the 3.0 on Riley.  Riley avoids a knee drop and hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Riley hits a knee lift, then beats up Orton in the corner.  Arquette chokes Orton behind the referee’s back.  Orton breaks free and beats up Riley.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for the 2nd week in a row, then humps the mat and hits the RKO on Riley for the pin in 3:20.  Miz immediately comes in and hits Orton with the briefcase that he’s still carrying around to hit people with.  Miz and Arquette set up a table.  They go for a double suplex, but Orton blocks it and fights back.  Miz bails.  Orton powerbombs Arquette through the table.  YAY!

Tonight, Cena vs. Otunga.  Commercials.

New Orleans.

TLC hype.

Michael Cole presents the “And I Quote…” Line of the Year Award.  The nominees are Santino Marella’s tea party, Miz talking to Bret Hart, Triple H saying CM Punk looks like a crack head, John Cena calling Heath Slater “Wendy,” Edge arguing with the iBooker, The mom from Legendary wanting her son back, Kane wanting his father back, Batista bitching about duct tape, Dusty Rhodes raising weird kids, Vince McMahon deserving to screw Bret Hart, Stephanie McMahon dreaming, Chris Jericho calling Michael Cole an idiot, Titus O’Neil talking about fighting and winning, Eli Cottonwood on mustaches, Eve insulting Miz, Mike Tyson threatening Hornswoggle, Randy Orton talking about RKOing his grandmother, Edge saying “spear” a bunch, Jack Swagger’s eagle’s medical insurance, CM Punk bitching, Mae Young swearing, Michael Cole fucking up his lines, Triple H saying something, and Ron Simmons saying “DAMN!”  Man, that was a lot.  Cole announces himself as the winner.  Ugh.

Superstar of the Year is next.  Commercials.

Teddy Long comes out to present the Superstar of the Year Award.  Nominees are Edge, The Miz, Kane, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and Randy Orton.  John Cena wins.  Cena makes his acceptance speech.  He promises to hurt Otunga tonight and “destroy” Barrett at the PPV.  Cena goes to the ring for the match.  Nexus come out.  They show the beat down from earlier tonight.  Otunga heads to the ring.  The rest of Nexus leave.

John Cena vs. David Otunga.  Cena brings Otunga into the ring and kicks his ass.  Otunga finally avoids a shot in the corner and beats on Cena a bit.  Shouldn’t he be DQ’d for that?  Otunga hits a Pounce-style elbow smash for 2.  Cena hits a drop toe hold into the STF for the win in 1:44.  Barrett comes back out the stage.  Cena brings in a chair and beats Otunga with it.

This show was a huge, horrible, miserable, steaming, stinking pile of shit.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 12/10/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, recap of recent stupidity.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out to whine about Edge stealing his daddy.  Edge appears on the screen.  He has Paul Bearer in mortal peril as usual.  Edge wants to use Bearer for chair shot practice.  Edge hits Bearer in the back with a chair.  Kane runs to the back to find that Edge has Bearer set up for a one man conchairto.  Or so it seems.  Edge hits a fake Paul Bearer with a chair and runs away.  “Another dummy,” Kane says.  Whoever write this storyline is the dummy.  Kane sees Edge run away with the real Bearer off in the distance.  This is the worst storyline in the history of wrestling, television, literature, or anything else that has ever existed as a creative medium.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer for some reason.

Jack Swagger vs. Kaval.  Swagger wins the lock up and beats the crap out of Kaval.  Kaval rallies and hits a running kick for 2.  Kaval ends up on Swagger’s shoulders.  Swagger throws him off, injuring his leg.  Swagger attacks the leg.  Kaval fights out of a powerbomb attempt, then sells his ankle.  Kaval ducks a charing Swagger and lands a head kick.  Kaval tries to mount a comeback.  He lands a koppou kick and gets rolling.  Kaval avoids Swagger in the corner and hits a diving knee strike for 2.  Kaval tries to go up top, but his ankle is screwed.  Swagger takes out the ankle and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 5:26.  Good little match.  Swagger cuts a promo after the match, bitching about losing to Kofi Kingston last week.  They show the aforementioned loss.  He bitches about being in the ropes when he got hit with Kofi’s finish, so they’re pretending that shit matters this week.

Tale of the tape for Hornswoggle vs. The Soaring Eagle.  Are you fucking serious?  Commercials. plug.

Hornswoggle (w/ Rosa Mendez) vs. The Soaring Eagle.  Rosa hands Hornswoggle a bag of bird seed.  Hornswoggl throws some around the ring.  The eagle goes for it.  Hornswoggle knocks it down, then tries to eat its leg.  Horswoggle rides the eagle, then slaps it, then runs into a big boot.  A big talon?  The eagle puts the talons to Hornswoggle.  The eagle misses the Ballin’ elbow.  Hornswoggle sits on it, then hits the tadpole splash for the pin in 2:21.  I cannot fucking believe I just reviewed that match.

Tonight, Edge & Rey Mysterio vs. Kane & Alberto Del Rio.  Commercials.

Backstage, Teddy Long congratulates the NEW WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Santino says they are both excited to be able to appear on Smackdown.  Kozlov says “More people for me to crush.”  Santino signs “We Are The Champions.”  Kozlov waves a cigarette lighter around.  Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes in and challenges them to a match tonight.  Santino accepts.  Lots of Queen references.

Next, Dolph Ziggler defends the Intercontinental Championship against Kofi Kingston.

Kofi Kingston hype video.

Todd Grisham interviews WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.  Commercials.

Vickie Guerrero’s introduction of Ziggler is the worse thing I’ve heard since I was forced to listen to Edgard Varese’s Electronic Poem.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Kofi gets a schoolboy for 1.  Kofi gets another cradle for 2.  Ziggler beats on Kofi.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  Kofi hits a monkey flip and a dropkick, then a running elbow smash.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Ziggler bails.  Commercials.  Ziggler has Kofi in a chin lock.  He releases it and hits a dropkick for 2.  Ziggler hits an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler applies a face lock.  Kofi fights out and catapults Ziggler into the turnbuckles.  Ziggler takes that better than anyone not named Curt Hennig.  Kofi makes h is comeback.  Ziggler counts the S.O.S.  Kofi keeps rolling anyway.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and a missile dropkick.  Vickie gets on the apron and makes an ungodly noise.  Kofi covers Ziggler for 2.  Ziggler cradles Kofi for 2.  Ziggler kicks Kofi in the chin.  They fight on the top rope.  Kofi knocks Ziggler down and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi goes for a suplex, but Ziggler counters and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Ziggler throws Kofi’s shoulder into the post.  Kofi hits the Trouble In Paradise.  Jack Swagger runs in and pulls Kofi off the cover to cause the DQ in 12:43.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Referees make him break.  Okay match.  I hate fuck finishes.

Edge has Paul Bearer in mortal peril.  He warns Kane against approaching.  Kane does anyway.  Another mannequin takes a bump off of something high through a table.  Kane is pissed.  So am I.  This is the worst shit ever.  Commercials.

Chris Masters is in the ring to do the Master Lock Challenge.  “Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out to participate in this crap.  There’s a bell, so I guess this is supposed to be a match.

Master Lock Challenge: Chris Masters vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes wipes the chair down before sitting in it, then tries to make Masters do his nails.  Masters slaps him and orders him into the chair.  Rhodes gets mad that his faced was touched.  Masters grabs his face.  Rhodes throws a temper tantrum and looks in his jacket mirror.  Masters locks in the Master Lock for the win in 2:43.  Stupid crap.

Tonight, Edge & Mysterio vs. Kane & Del Rio.  Commercials.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Drew McIntyre & Chavo Guerrero Jr.  They show Santino & Kozlov beating The Nexus for the titles on Raw when John Cena provided the distraction.  Santino hits McIntyre with an arm drag.  McIntyre decks him.  Kozlov tags in and beats up McIntyre.  The referee gets in the way to let McIntyre get the advantage.  Kozlov quickly overcomes this brief inconvenience.  Chavo pulls Kozlov’s back across the ropes, then gets the tag and hits the Eddie hilo.  Chavo beats up Kozlov.  Santino gets the tag and runs wild on McIntyre.  McIntyre cuts him off and goes for the Future Shock.  Chavo tags himself in and goes for the frog splash.  Santino avoids it and hits the Cobra for the pin in 3:09.  Alright then.  McIntyre bitches at Chavo for being a failure, then gives him the Future Shock.

Earlier tonight, we were forced to watch another skit in the worst storyline ever thought of.  They’re so proud of this awful storyline that they’re forcing us to watch it again now.  Later there’s going to be a tag match.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Raw Rebound.

TLC hype.

Michelle McCool and Layla are next.  Ugh.  Commercials.

They show the crap from Raw where LayCool attacked Natalya after her match with Melina.

Non-Title: Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya (w/ Beth Phoenix).  They actually do a really good exchange to start.  Layla is actually a damn fine lady wrestler.  Natalya hits the stalling suplex for 2.  Layla bails.  Natalya pursues and shoves McCool.  Layla gets back in the ring and dropkicks Natalya through the ropes.  Phoenix frightens McCool away from interfering.  Back inside, Natalya eats a boot to the face.  Double clothesline spot.  Layla throws a dropkick, but Natalya catches her and locks in the Sharpshooter.  McCool grabs her hands and gets pulled into the ring.  Phoenix pulls her out.  Layla submits in 1:59.  Better divas match than usual until it turned to the usual LayCool bullshit.

Edge & Mysterio vs. Kane & Del Rio is next.  Commercials.

Rey Mysterio and Edge come out for the main event.  Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Kane doesn’t come out.  Teddy Long comes out and changes it to a handicap match.

Handicap Match: Edge & Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Alberto Del Rio.  Mysterio throws leg kicks at Del Rio, then hits a leg drop for 2.  Edge and Mysterio double team Del Rio.  Del Rio beats up Edge a bit.  Edge hits a flapjack.  Mysterio tags back in.  They hit another double team for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  Del Rio bails, but gets kicked anyway.  Kane comes out.  He and Edge brawl in the aisle.  Edge runs away.  Kane chases him.  Del Rio jumps Mysterio from behind and puts the boots to him.  Del Rio hits a gut busters for 2.  Del Rio applies a body scissors.  Mysterio escapes and ends up on the apron.  Del Rio knocks him to the floor with an enzuigiri.  Del Rio beats up Mysterio on the outside.  Back inside, Del Rio goes for a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits the seated senton.  Mysterio hits the flipping bulldog for 2.  Del Rio hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip and hits a seated senton.  Mysterio hits the 619 and a diving splash for the pin in 7:08.  Now pay to see them in another singles match on the PPV!

Edge has Paul Bearer in mortal peril again.  Kane assumes it’s another dummy and pushes the ladders over.  It was the real Paul Bearer, who is now dead.  I pray to God that’s the end of this shit.

Horrible show.  I dread this shit more than I do Impact lately.