Archive for Tiffany Terrell

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 7/9/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Apology Not Accepted”

Video of Jack Swagger fucking up Big Show’s and Rey Mysterio’s ankles over the last 2 weeks.

Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Big Show takes on Jack Swagger!

Drew McIntyre is in the ring.  Teddy Long comes out and asks him why he’s there.  McIntyre says his visa issues have been resolved.  McIntyre is kissing Long’s ass now and apologizing.  Long calls him a liar.  McIntyre says he nominated Long for next year’s Hall of Fame.  They talk about WrestleMania XXVII being in Atlanta (where we are tonight).  They talk about the Money In The Bank Ladder Match.  Long wants McIntyre to get on his knees and suck his cock… I mean beg to be put in MITB.  They show the video of McIntyre forcing Teddy to get on his knees 3 weeks ago.  McIntyre gets on his knees and, on Long’s orders, says Teddy is the most handsome, debonair, high class, sharp dressed, and intelligent and that it’s an honor and a privilege to have Teddy as his boss.  Long says Drew still isn’t in Money In The Bank.  Long says is Drew can beat Kofi Kingston tonight, he’ll be in Money In The Bank.  It’s good to see Drew get what he had coming to him.

Up next, MVP vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Dolph Ziggler in a Money In The Bank Qualifier!

WWE YouTube channel plug.

Atlanta!

Triple Threat Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Vickie joins Striker and Grisham for commentary and Striker coos over her.  Ugh.  Ziggler and Chavo double team MVP.  MVP fights back and hits an Exploder on Ziggler, then whips Chavo hard into the corner.  Ziggler and Chavo double team MVP again.  MVP sends them both to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  MVP covers Ziggler for 2.  Chavo trips MVP and comes back in to beat him down.  After a long set up, MVP pushes Chavo into the corner to crotch Ziggler on the top rope.  MVP drops Chavo and hits a superplex on Ziggler.  Chavo is the only man standing and looks confused about what to do.  See, he’s supposed to be helping Ziggler win, but he covers MVP for 2.  Vickie gets up and yells at Chavo.  Chavo drops an elbow on MVP for 1.  Chavo and Vickie argue.  Ziggler Pearl Harbors Chavo and kicks the crap out of him.  Chavo fights back and hits the Three Amigos on Ziggler.  MVP wakes up and back body drops Chavo.  MVP gets rolling, fighting off both of them.  MVP throws Ziggler out of the ring and goes for the Ballin’ elbow on Chavo.  Ziggler tries to cut him off, but fails.  Paydirt on Chavo, but Vickie pulls the referee out of the ring.  They argue.  Ziggler locks MVP in the sleeper hold for the win (6:35 shown).  Fun little match.  I like the idea of Chavo turning face.

Tonight, Swagger vs. Show… THE REMATCH!

Australia Tour!

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Josh Matthews is backstage with World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio Jr. and the doctor who is checking on his ankle.  The doctor speaks some medical jargon.  Jack Swagger comes in and puts Mysterio in the ankle lock and pulls him through the hallway and throws him into stuff.  That dick!  Swagger pulls Mysterio into the arena, then runs away when Big Show approaches.  Interesting segment.  I like Swagger being all crazy and vicious.  Too bad it’s too little, too late.

Atlanta!

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Highlights of the Peep Show segment from last week.

Christian & Matt Hardy vs. Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer.  Hardy and Hawkins start.  Hardy gets the better of it and works over Hawkins’ arm.  Hawkins decks Hardy and powers him to the heel corner.  Archer tags in and they double team Hardy.  Cover gets 2.  Archer beats up Hardy.  Hardy fights back and hits a tornado DDT.  Hardy goes to tag Christian, but Christian yanks Hardy’s arm and pulls him out of the ring.  Archer throws Hardy back into the ring and hits a reverse DDT.  Tag to Hawkins, who hits the diving elbow drop for the pin in 2:55.  Christian turning heel I don’t like so much, but he’ll be awesome at it.

Tonight, Show vs. Swagger!  But next… Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre!

Raw hype!

Australia Tour!

Non-Title, Money In The Bank Qualifying Match (for McIntyre): Drew McIntyre vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  Kofi immediately gets a schoolboy for 2.  They lock up and work a headlock on the mat, which I love.  Kofi hits a cross body for 2.  McIntyre applies a rear chin lock.  Kofi hits a big monkey flip for 1.  McIntyre lands a punch for 2.  McIntyre hits an over the knee neckbreaker for 2.  Kofi gets a crucifix hold (incorrectly called a backslide by Grisham) for 2.  McIntyre beats on Kofi.  Kofi hits the rebound corner kick, then tries to springboard, but McIntyre kicks the ropes to knock him down.  Cover gets 2.  Insta-commercials.  McInytre has Kofi in a grounded abdominal stretch.  Kofi hip tosses his way out.  Kofi avoids a leg drop and makes his comeback.  Kofi goes for the S.O.S., but McIntyre blocks it and pounds on him.  McIntyre sets Kofi in the top rope.  Kofi fights him off and hits a frog splash to the back for 2.  Kofi hits the big chop and the Boom Drop.  Kofi sets up the Trouble In Paradise.  McIntyre ducks, then Kofi lands it anyway for 2.  McIntyre hits a reverse Alabama Slam for 2.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Kofi counters and goes for a DDT.  Kofi ducks a move and dropkicks McIntyre out of the ring.  Kofi lands a tope suicida.  They fight outside and barely beat the count back in.  Kofi tries to do the Boom Drop on the apron, but McIntyre sends him into the post, then hits the Future Shock for the pin (9:39 shown).  Really good match.  McIntyre is growing on me as a wrestler.

They show the thing last week where Serena showed the video of herself drinking to prove to Kane that CM Punk didn’t turn Undertaker into a potato.

Rosa Mendez is randomly exercising backstage.  CM Punk and Luke Gallows walk by and are confused.  They’re heading our way!

Another Alberto Del Rio vignette.

The Straight Edge Society (minus Serena) are int he ring.  Gallows calls for Serena to come out.  Serena comes out talking about being a fuck up and defying Punk’s orders.  She begs for forgiveness.  Gallows bitches at her.  Punk says it’s his decision and he forgives her.  Gallows leaves.  He isn’t pleased about this.  Serena tells Punk she’ll never fail him again.  Punk replies that she better not.  Serena hugs him.  The crowd boos.  Gallows is watching from the stage, not at all pleased with this developments.

Money In The Bank hype.

WWE Magazine plug.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs. JTG.  Rhodes has new music.  JTG works Rhodes’ arm.  Rhodes drops JTG from the corner and goes to work on him.  JTG makes his comeback.  Rhodes cuts him off and hits a front suplex.  JTG tries to fight back again, but Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 2:40.  Not much of a match, but it got the job done.

Josh Matthews interviews Kelly Kelly.  She’ll be challenging Layla for the Women’s Championship at Money In The Bank.  Layla shows up and is fucking obnoxious.  Kelly starts to choke a bitch, then Michelle McCool jumps her from behind.  LayCool leave Kelly laying.  Tiffany and some refs check on her.

Money is the Money In The Bank song!

Earlier tonight, Jack Swagger further fucked up Rey Mysterio’s already fucked up leg.

Josh Matthews interviews The Big Show.  Show’s ready to fuck a bitch up!

Australia Tour!

Jack Swagger vs. The Big Show.  Swagger shoots for the leg immediately, but Show throws him off.  Repeat.  Show slams Swagger down.  Show yells at Swagger and hits some big chops.  Show chokes Swagger with his boot while continuing to yell at him.  Show hits a running butt to the corner and shoulder block that sends Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger pulls Show’s head across the top rope and rams his leg into the post, then goes for the ankle lock.  Show kicks him out of the ring.  Swagger comes back in and Show shoves him out again.  Show follows outside and kicks Swagger’s ass some more.  I think there’s a double count out in about 4 minutes, but the bell never rings.  Swagger DDTs Show’s leg on the ramp.  Swagger makes his way backstage, where Kane chokes him and throws him into his lair.  Swagger looks like he’s trying not to laugh.  Kane accuses Swagger of turning Undertaker in a broccoli.  Swagger denies it.  He says he has an alibi.  Kane says he better provide his alibi next week, OR ELSE!

Aside from the silliness at the end, I thought this was a terrific little TV show.

WWE Superstars 7/8/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 8, 2010 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Primo & Jillian Hall vs. Yoshi Tatsu & Gail Kim.  The Bella Twins are the special guest referees.  Gail and Jillian lock up.  Jillian nails Gail with a forearm and throws her around by her hair.  Cover gets 1.  Gail fights back and drops Jillian with a clothesline.  Primo and Yoshi come in.  Yoshi hits some arm drags and a dropkick.  Jillian grabs Yoshi’s leg.  Yoshi nails Primo anyway, then Gail hits Primo with a diving rana.  Yoshi nails Primo with some kicks and chops.  Cover gets 2.  Primo beats on Yoshi.  Jillian bitches at the Bella in the ring for counting too slow.  Yoshi catches Primo coming off the top with his feet.  The women come in and Gail runs wild on Jillian.  Jillian cuts Gail off on the top rope and tries to set something up.  Gail tries a sunset flip powerbomb, but Jillian hits her with punches.  Double clothesline spot.  Yoshi wipes Primo out with a kick.  Jillian attacks Yoshi for some reason.  The Bella reprimands her and gets nailed.  The other Bella comes in and Jillian nails her too.  Gail schoolgirls Jillian and one of the Bellas makes a fast count for the pin in 5:32.  Fine little match.  The Bellas are pretty, but they’re lousy refs.

Tonight, Kelly Kelly & Tiffany take on LayCool!  Boo.  Commercials.

WWE YouTube channel plug.

Zack Ryder vs. Goldust.  They lock up.  Goldust backs Ryder into the corner, then arm drags him.  They lock up again and Goldust schools Ryder some more.  Another arm drag, then Goldust cranks on Ryder’s arm.  Goldust avoids a leap frog and nails a clothesline, then butt butts Ryder out of the ring.  Commercials.  4 minutes later, Goldust catapults Ryder into the ropes, then Ryder falls back into Goldust’s knees.  Goldust tries to go up top, but Ryder cuts him off and puts the boots to him.  Ryder puts the heat on Goldust.  Goldust makes his comeback after like 30 seconds of heat.  Bulldog gets 2.  Goldust tees off on Ryder with corner punches, then the powerslam for 2.  Goldust goes for a DDT, but Ryder escapes and hits the Rough Ryder for the pin in 7:47.  It was fine, but over half of it was commercials.

NXT recap.

Up next, the return of the Master Lock Challenge!  Commercials!

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are now the announcers.  Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Chris Masters comes out to do the Master Lock Challenge.  The Dudebusters come out to accept.  Masters shakes his tits at Caylen Croft.  Croft horse asses around for a bit, then lets Masters put the Master Lock on him.  Croft passes out.  Trent Barreta bitches at Masters.  Masters challenges him to take the challenge.  Barreta agrees after handing his gum to the referee.  Gross.  Masters goes to put Barreta in the Master Lock, but Croft attacks him from behind.  The Dudebusters beat down Masters.

Tonight, Kelly & Tiffany vs. LayCool!  Commercials.

Jack Swagger hype video.

Raw Rebound.

Grisham and Striker hype the Money In The Bank card.

The main event is next!  Ugh.

WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool vs. Kelly Kelly & Tiffany.  McCool and Tiffany start.  Tiffany works McCool’s arm.  McCool pulls Tiffany’s hair and works her arm.  Tiffany hits a dope toe hold and an atomic drop.  Tiffany hits a money flip and a pitiful clothesline for 2.  Kelly tags in and hits a diving sunset flip for 2.  Layla tags in and beats up Kelly.  Kelly hits a Thesz press and rams Layla’s head into the mat.  Tiffany tags in hits a shitty dropkick to send Layla outside.  Back inside, Tiffany tries to go up top, but Layla kicks her leg, then rams her head into the mat.  This sucks.  LayCool get the heat on Tiffany.  Kelly gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Kelly hits a facebuster on Layla for 2.  Layla hits a crappy spin kick.  Kelly boots Layla in the corner and hits a clothesline.  McCool tries to trip Kelly, but fails.  Kelly gets a reverse cradle, but the stupid ref breaks the count to stop Tiffany from cutting off McCool.  McCool does something to Kelly, then Layla gets the pin in 6:41.  This sucked.

Sadly a mediocre show.  The first half was fine, then it went downhill.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 7/2/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

“A Not So Straight Edge Alibi”

“Last week on Smackdown…” video.

Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Kane takes on Luke Gallows.  Ugh.

Jack Swagger comes out and cuts a promo.  They show him fucking up Big Show’s leg last week.  He cries about losing the World title.  Big Show limps out and mocks Swagger for being a big whiny pussy.  Show talks about how Swagger fucked up his leg last week and challenges him to try it again.  Show says Swagger can’t break his ankle, but he can break Swagger’s jaw.  Show heads to the ring.  Cody Rhodes clips Show’s leg from behind.  Swagger and Rhodes attack Show’s leg.  World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio Jr. makes the save.

Grisham and Striker announce the participants in the Smackdown Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Kane, Matt Hardy, Cody Rhodes, Christian, WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, and The Big Show.  That’s 6.  The other 2 will be announced at some point in the future.

Tonight, Kofi Kingston takes on Dolph Ziggler!

Australia tour!

Moments ago, the opening segment happened!  Tonight, Mysterio & Show take on Swagger & Rhodes!

Vickie Guerrero tells Dolph Ziggler than he can have his IC title shot if he wins.  Vickie gets mad at Dolph for checking out Rosa Mendez doing jumping jacks.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler takes Kingston down and they do some nice mat wrestling.  Kofi hits a big monkey flip.  Ziggler avoids the Trouble In Paradise and bails.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler works Kofi’s arm.  Ziggler keeps the heat on Kofi.  Kofi hits the corner rebound kick that Christian likes to do, then hits a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi makes his comeback.  The Boom Drop gets 2.  Dolph ducks the Trouble In Paradise and hits the Fameasser for 2.  Dolph gets distracted by Vickie for some reason.  Kofi hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin (about 4 minutes shown).  It was okay.  Vickie leaves.

CM Punk (with his arm in a sling) talks to the Straight Edge Society.  Serena says they should “admit it.”  Punk refuses.  So they turned Undertaker into cabbage?  Punk says they’ll take care of Kane.

Money In The Bank hype video.

Christian and Matt Hardy are in the ring to do the Peep Show.  They chat.  Hardy gets mad at Christian for mentioning how he got repeatedly dropped on his head.  Hardy talks about corporate politics, then they argue over who is going to win Money In The Bank and eventually come to blows.  Hardy throws Christian into one of the ladders in the ring.

Tonight, Mysterio & Show vs. Swagger and Rhodes!

WWE Magazine plug.

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Cody Rhodes primps and admires himself in a mirror.  He pretends to interview himself.

Kane vs. Gallows NEXT!

They show highlights of the Kane/Punk match from last week.

Kane vs. Luke Gallows (w/ CM Punk).  Kane beats up Gallows.  Gallows beats up Kane.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but the masked SES guy attacks Kane to cause the DQ in 1:26.  Whatever.

Kane chokeslams the masked guy and Gallows, then goes for Punk.  Serena runs out and begs Kane not to hurt Punk.  She says she can prove Punk is innocent.  She says on the day everything happened, Punk was “saving her.”  Does Saving = Fucking?  They show a video of Serena drinking at a bar with some dude.  Punk, Gallows, and the masked guy show up and bitch at her.  Kane releases Punk and leaves.  Punk is pissed at Serena for saving his ass.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

They show MVP and Kofi Kingston signing autographs at Toys R Us 2 weeks ago.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Chavo is trying to impress his Aunt Vickie.  They brawl.  Chavo hits a rolling kick for 2.  Chavo hits the Three Amigos and goes for a frog splash, but MVP avoids it and makes his comeback.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow, then the Paydirt for the pin in 2:04.  This wasn’t much of anything.

Tonight, Mysterio & Show vs. Swagger & Rhodes.

WWE Classics on Demand presents This Week In Wrestling History: The Yokozuna body slam challenge from July 4, 1993, where Lex Luger body slammed Yokozuna.

Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany) vs. Michelle McCool (w/ WWE Women’s Champion Layla).  McCool attacks Tiffany before the match.  Layla sprays air freshener.  The match starts and McCool bails immediately.  Kelly attacks McCool when she gets back into the ring.  McCool beats up Kelly.  Tiffany wakes up and decks Layla.  McCool gets distracted and Kelly schoolgirls her for the pin in 1:47.  This, of course, fucking sucked.  I’m so sick of all of the current wrestling on TV being shitty.

Raw Rebound.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way!

Another Alberto Del Rio vignette.

World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio Jr. and cuts a promo about being champion.  The main event is NEXT!

World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio Jr. & The Big Show vs. Jack Swagger & “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Mysterio and Rhodes start.  Show tags in and beats Rhodes with his massive hands.  Show knocks Swagger off the apron and press slams Rhodes onto him.  Insta-commercials.  Mysterio catches Rhodes with a boot in the corner and goes up top, but Rhodes cuts him off and tries to backdrop suplex him.  Mysterio fights him off and hits the Bombs Away for 2.  Swagger makes a blind tag and mows Mysterio down with a big boot.  The heels get heat on Mysterio.  Rhodes NAILS Mysterio with a springboard kick for 2.  Swagger hits a springboard Vader Bomb and locks in a body scissors.  Mysterio counters out and hits a DDT on Swagger.  Show tags in and runs wild on Swagger.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Swagger tries to counter, but Show backdrop suplexes him.  Show reinjures his leg and tags in Mysterio.  Mysterio hits the springboard leg drop on Swagger, but Rhodes saves.  Rhodes takes Big Show out and attacks his leg.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger catches his leg and locks in the ankle lock on the ropes.  Swagger refuses to break the hold and gets DQ’d (7:07 shown).  Swagger keeps Mysterio in the ankle lock for a while before finally releasing him.  Mysterio sells the leg injury as Show checks on him.

This show was pretty shitty aside from the good main event.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 6/25/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 26, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero are backstage.  Long puts over that Rey Mysterio Jr. is the new World Heavyweight Champion.  Vickie says that there will be an 8-man Money In The Bank Ladder Match at the Money In The Bank PPV.  Ya think?  Drew McIntyre comes in, annoyed that Teddy is happy.  Long says that Vince is incapacitated, so he’s in charge now.  Long tells McIntyre that he’ll face a reinstated Matt Hardy tonight.  Vickie backs up Long against a hated heel and still gets booed.

Smackdown open.  No pyro nor ballyhoo this week.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Kane faces CM Punk in a No DQ Match!

The Big Show comes out for his match against Jack Swagger.  Swagger comes out and whines and bitches and moans about losing the title Sunday.  He’s getting his rematch at the next PPV.

The Big Show vs. Jack Swagger.  Swagger says he’s going to make Show suffer.  Show kicks his ass.  Show sends Swagger outside and tries to bring him back in, but Swagger pulls him across the top rope.  Swagger goes up top, but Show cuts him off and hits a superplex!  Swagger rolls out of the ring.  Insta-commercials!  Show continues to hammer Swagger.  Show works Swagger’s arm.  Swagger tries to fight back, but Show is like “fuck that” and punches him in the stomach.  Swagger tries again, grabs a front face lock, and fails again.  Swagger ducks a clothesline and shoulder blocks Show’s leg.  Cover gets 1.  Swagger works the leg.  Swagger hits a diving shoulder block for 2.  Swagger hits a leg drop, then a springboard Vader Bomb.  He goes for another, but Show catches him by the throat and goes for the chokeslam.  Swagger rolls through and locks Show in the ankle lock!  Show reaches the ropes.  Swagger refuses to break the hold and gets DQ’d (7:17 shown).  Fun little match.  I like Swagger being vicious.  I just wish they’d booked him that why WHILE HE WAS THE FUCKING CHAMPION.  Show sells the leg injury big time.

Tonight, McIntyre vs. Hardy and Kane vs. Punk No DQ!

WWE Rewind: Last week, Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer beat MVP & Christian.

Dolph Ziggler, Curt Hawkins, & Vance Archer vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, Christian, & Montel Vontavious Porter.  MVP and Hawkins brawl.  MVP hits an Exploder for 2.  Christian tags in beats up Hawkins.  Christian hits a dropkick for 2.  MVP tags back in.  Hawkins gains the advantage and tags in Ziggler.  Ziggler whips Hawkins into MVP, but Hawkins eats MVP’s boots.  MVP clears the heels out of the ring and all the babyfaces hit dives (for a baseball slide dropkick, in Christian’s case).  Insta-commercials.  MVP hits a move on Ziggler for 2.  Kingston tags in and botches a springboard sunset flip for 2.  Kingston lands an elbow smash on Ziggler for 2.  The heels get the advantage on Kingston.  Ziggler hits the Hennig neck snap for 2, then tags in Archer.  Archer hits a neckbreaker on Kingston for 2.  Hawkins tags in and hits a double team move with Archer for 2.  Hawkins hits a weird modified suplex for 2.  Hawkins does a modified camel clutch.  Kofi escapes via jawbreaker.  Ziggler tags in and cuts off Kofi from making the tag.  Ziggler hits a jumping elbow drop for 2.  Kofi hits a nip on ran on Ziggler, then makes the hot tag to Christian.  Christian runs wild on Ziggler.  Christian hits a reverse DDT for 2.  People get knocked off of the apron.  Ziggler rolls through Christian’s springboard sunset flip and hits the Fameasser for 2.  Christian hits a missile dropkick, but Archer and Hawkins save.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Kofi and MVP drop Hawkins and Archer.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Christian blocks it and hits the Killswitch for the pin (9:00 shown).  Fun match.

Tonight, Kane vs. Punk No DQ!

Footage from the big hullabaloo on Raw where Vince got massacred!  iBooker 9000 promises consequences!

Kane promises VENGEANCE to his empty casket!

Matt Hardy is headed our way!  He shakes hands with JTG and some backstage geeks.

WWE bullshit fact of the night!

Drew McIntyre vs. Matt Hardy.  They jaw jack a bit, then start brawling.  They go outside and Hardy kicks McIntyre into the announce table.  Hardy takes McIntyre into and right out the other side of the ring, throws him into the steps, then back in.  McIntyre rams Hardy into the post. then backdrop suplexes him on the floor.  Hardy barely beats the count back in.  McIntyre beats the shit out of him and puts him in a shoulder hold.  Hardy catches McIntyre with a boot and goes up top, but McIntyre cuts him off and hits a hip toss off the top rope for 2.  McIntyre keeps the heat on Hardy.  McIntyre hits a backdrop suplex off the top rope for 2, as Hardy was way too close to the ropes.  Hardy rolls out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre continues working Hardy’s shoulder.  McIntyre stomps Hardy’s head for 2.  Hardy hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  McIntyre hits Hardy with a big boot for 2.  McIntyre hits a neckbreaker across the knee for 2.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Hardy backdrops him to the floor and hits an elbow smash off the apron.  McIntyre rams Hardy into the steps.  Hardy trips McIntyre to drop him across the steps.  Back in the ring, cover gets 2.  McIntyre covers for 2 after something.  McIntyre argues with the referee.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate out of nowhere for the pin (12:32 shown).  It was okay.  It felt like a grudge match, which is good.  Teddy Long appears on the screen and tells him his visa has expired.  He has security “take McIntyre back to Scotland.”  McIntyre tells Striker that he’s not going anywhere.  I hope he’s gone forever.

WWE.com plug.

Cody Rhodes and Husky Harris come out.  Rhodes talks about how pretty he is and how ugly Harris is.  He sends Harris to the back.  Rhodes insults fans and announcers about their looks.  He says he is to be called “Dashing” Cody Rhodes from now on.

Dolph Ziggler bitches at Vickie Guerrero about not getting anything out of their relationship.  He wants an IC title match.

Tonight, Kane vs. CM Punk No DQ!  Man, that’s gonna suck.

Rosa Mendez is in the ring jumping rope.

Rosa Mendez vs. Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany).  Women’s Champions LayCool and Kaval come out for LayCool to do commentary.  Ugh.  Rosa continues to jump rope.  Kelly hits the Fameasser for the pin in 17 seconds.  Whatever.  Kelly jumps rope, then throws the rope at LayCool.  LayCool threaten to get into the ring, but back off when Tiffany backs up Kelly.  Low-Ki should kick them all in the face.

Earlier tonight, Jack Swagger fucked up Big Show’s leg.

Kane vs. Punk No DQ tonight.  I don’t care anymore.

Alberto Del Rio (the former Dos Caras Jr.) vignette.

World Champion Rey Mysterio Jr. will be in the house next week!

CM Punk comes out and says he’s innocent.  Kane will execute him anyway, next.

No DQ Match: CM Punk vs. Kane.  Brawling in the ring.  Brawling outside the ring.  Luke Gallows comes out to get his ass kicked by Kane too.  The masked SES member attacks Kane and gets killed too.  Serena shows up too.  The Straight Edge Society finally overcomes Kane with the 3 on 1 advantage.  Kane fights back and kicks all of their asses.  Kane attacks Punk’s arm, which looks to be injured already.  Kane chokeslams the masked guy on the floor, then clears off the announce table and tries to chokeslam Punk through it, but Gallows jumps him.  Kane kicks Gallows’ ass and chokeslams him through the table.  Kane pursues Punk through the crowd and into the lobby of  the arena.  Kane slams Punk through the gimmick table and the concessions table.  Kane sends Punk out through the door of the arena and Punk runs away.  End of show.  No-contest in about 8 minutes.

Besides the stupid ending, this was a pretty fun show.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 6/18/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 18, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Fired And Brimstone”

“Last week on Smackdown…” video, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are our announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, The Big Show & Rey Mysterio take on Jack Swagger & CM Punk.  Also, Drew McIntyre vs. Teddy Long will happen or Long will be FIRED!

CM Punk comes out and cuts a promo.  He’ll win the title Sunday, blah blah blah.  He says he’s the only man to ever make Undertaker tap out.  He didn’t, and even if he had, Kurt Angle did it in 2003.  Punk babbles for a while.  The lights go out and Undertake appears in the ring, except it’s not The Undertaker, it’s Luke Gallows.  They have a good laugh at all of the gullible marks.  Punk is about to step on Undertaker’s hat, then there’s an obvious cut, as Kane’s music and pyro hits and Undertaker’s hat and coat have moved.  Jack Swagger jumps Kane in the aisle.  Punk, Gallows, Swagger, and the mystery Straight Edge Society member beat up Kane.  The SES holds Kane down so Swagger can hit a few Vader Bombs.  Rey Mysterio and The Big Show run in to make the save, even though Kane has attacked them lately too.  Oh, Mysterio hits the 619 on Kane and Show follows with the chokeslam.  Mysterio looks scared for some reason and leaves.  Show again tells Kane that he had nothing to do with it and nothing is going to stop him from being World Champion.  Stupid segment.  Commercials.

Drew McIntyre Moment: Mr. McMahon personally introduces him on September 25, 2009.  Tonight, McIntyre vs. Long.

Christian & Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer.  Christian and MVP are out for revenge after being jumped by Hawkins and Archer recently.  They beat up Hawkins to start.  MVP Yakuza kicks Archer off the apron and backdrops Hawkins onto him.  Christian and MVP hit stereo dives to the outside.  Archer sends MVP into the steps on the outside.  Insta-commercials.  Bad guys get heat on MVP.  Christian gets the hot tag and runs wild.  He hits the reverse DDT on Hawkins and knocks Archer off the apron.  Christian hits a diving cross body on Hawkins, but Archer saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Christian goes for the Killswitch on Hawkins, but Archers hits Christian with a reverse DDT.  Hawkins hits Christian with a diving elbow drop for the pin in 5:01.  It was fine.  MVP keeps fighting after the match, but gets hit with the successive finishers as well.

WWE Women’s Champions LayCool talk about some stupid girl bullshit why Kaval stalks behind them looking annoyed.  The bump into Rosa Mendez, who wants to join them.  They blow her off and are obnoxious.  I wish Ki would kick the fuck out of both of them right in their empty heads.  Rosa cries and leaves.  She hates them approximately 1/100th of what I do.  They try to make Low-Ki smile.  I think they want to give him a makeover.  Dear God, NO.

Tonight, a stupid tag match with the guys in the PPV Four-Way.

Drew McIntyre Moment: Him losing clean, then having it overturned, presumably because he lets Vince fuck him in the ass.  McIntyre vs. Long tonight.  I do not fucking care about any of this shit.

Vickie Guerrero is backstage.  She no sells Chavo Guerrero trying to talk to her, then gets all hot and bothered over Dolph Ziggler dressed in something gay.  She tells Chavo to go get ready for his match next.  Chavo says he doesn’t have a match.  She says he does, then gets the newly gay Ziggler to hang a picture for her while she checks him out.  Chris Masters talks in, then leaves.  Stupid pointless shit.

Speaking of stupid pointless shit, there’s a PPV Sunday.  Who knew?

Striker and Grisham talk.

Drew McIntyre Moment: McIntyre killing the fuck out of Matt Hardy on May 7 and getting fired.  He’ll face Teddy Long tonight.  WHO THE FUCK CARES?

JTG  comes out.  He’ll do something next.

Australia tour.

WWE absolute fucking bullshit fact of the night.

JTG vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Chavo tapes his wrists on the way to the ring, because he wasn’t ready to wrestle because Vickie Guerrero has a lady hard on for one of the Spirit Squad geeks.  Chavo goes on the attack, then JTG kicks his ass.  Chavo connects with a rolling kick and stomps on JTF, then chokes him against the ropes.  Shouldn’t Chavo be fired now?  Chavo applies a neck and shoulder hold.  Chavo goes for the Eddie hilo, but JTG gets his knees up.  JTG makes his comeback.  JTG hits the Mugshot for 2.  JTG avoids a shot in the corner and hits the Sling Blade for the pin in 2:37.  This match was lame and any match with the fucking Sling Blade as a finish automatically drops a few ratings.  JTG dances or something with some kids from the crowd.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  He’ll face Vince’s butt buddy at the PPV, and it’ll be mediocre.

Drew McIntyre Moment: Forcing Long to return the Intercontinental Championship to him after Kofi won it when McIntyre was stripped of the title.  McIntyre vs. Long tonight.  I care less every time they show one of these stupid things.  It’s next.

Drew McIntyre Moment: The segment from last week where Kingston kicked McIntyre’s ass, then McIntyre told Teddy that they would wrestle this week.

Drew McIntyre comes out.  Teddy Long doesn’t.  McIntyre reminds him that he’s fired if he doesn’t come out.  Long comes out in his suit.  McIntyre says he’s enlisted some security geeks to make sure Matt Hardy and Kofi Kingston don’t interfere.  McIntyre makes Charles Robinson check Long for weapons, then bullies Long and challenges him to hit him.  McIntyre tells Long to get down on his knees and blow him.  Oh, he just wants Long to say he’s the Chosen One.  Long does so.  Long gets up.  McIntyre orders him back onto his knees.  I knew he just wanted a blow job.  He tells Long to lay down.  This is getting gayer and gayer.  They finally ring the bell.

Drew McIntyre vs. Teddy Long.  McIntyre puts one foot on Long to get the pin in 10 seconds.  Just to be a dick, McIntyre sets up the double arm DDT anyway.  Kofi Kingston runs out to stop him, but gets topped by security.  They hold Kofi while McIntyre beats on him.  Matt Hardy runs in through the crowd and kicks McIntyre’s ass.  Security holds Hardy for McIntyre to beat on too.  McIntyre throws Hardy in to the ring and hits the double arm DDT.  Security throws Kofi in to take the double arm DDT too. This segment was way too long and fucking stupid.  Seriously, McIntyre has to be taking Vince’s dick in his ass.  That’s the only reason I can think of for this motherfucker getting a push.

Tonight, tag match.

RBC Center.

Non-Title: WWE Women’s Champion Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany).  Striker’s face British accent that he does whenever Layla comes out is obnoxious.  They do some shit poorly.  Layla does a wonky move for 2.  Kelly hits a Thesz press and bangs Layla’s head on the mat, then sends her to the outside.  Layla pulls Kelly across the middle rope and hits a kick for 2.  Layla does a headscissors.  Kelly gets out and gets a jackknife hold for 1.  Kelly hits some shitty clotheslines.  Layla avoids a handspring into the corner.  McCool distracts Kelly.  Tiffany decks McCool.  Layla decks Tiffany.  Layla goes for her neckbreaker, but Kelly counters and hits the Fameasser for the pin in 2:22.  This sucked.  Did you really expect anything else?

Josh Matthews interviews World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger.  Swagger talks about his daddy.

WWE Smack of the Night: Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler from last week.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and is obnoxious.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Masters.  Masters connects with a shoulder block.  Ziggler tries to bail, then pulls Masters across the ropes.  Ziggler beats up Masters.  Masters catapults Ziggler into the turnbuckles, then hits an inverted atomic drop and some clotheslines.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but Ziggler slips out.  Masters hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Masters goes for a running powerslam, but Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold.  Masters breaks out and locks in the Master Lock.  Ziggler gets a rope break, then kicks Masters’ knee.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin in 3:00.  This was also no good.

The main event is next.

Australia tour.

Raw Rebound.

Grisham and Striker hype the Fatal 4-Way card.

The main event is next for real this time!

The Big Show & Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger & CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena).  Swagger and Mysterio lock up.  Mysterio kicks Swagger in the leg.  Swagger powers Mysterio into the heel corner and tags in Punk.  Mysterio hits a leg drop for 2.  Punk goes for a sunset flip.  Mysterio rolls through, but Punk blocks the inevitable kick.  Mysterio tries to take Punk’s mask off.  They go outside.  Gallows clotheslines Mysterio.  Punk tries to take Mysterio’s mask off.  Mysterio fights him off and decks Swagger.  Punk catches Mysterio with a powerslam for 2.  Swagger tags in and works over Mysterio.  Swagger hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger applies an arm hold.  Mysterio fights back, hits a facebuster, and makes the hot tag to Show.  Show runs wild on Swagger and kicks Punk off the apron.  Show goes for the chokeslam, but Swagger turns it into a DDT.  Mysterio tags in and goes for a diving cross body, but Swagger avoids it.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio counters and drives Swagger down for the pin (6:19 shown).  This was okay, but not nearly enough to save this horrible fucking show.  Kane cokes out, decks Gallows, chokeslams Swagger, knocks Show off the apron, chokeslams Punk, and Tombstones Mysterio.  Kane says “one of you is already in hell and doesn’t even know it.  This Sunday will be a fatal night for the guilty party.”  The empty casket appears on the stage.  So he’s going to kill himself Sunday?  It’s obvious that WWE Creative lacks the originality to have any other outcome but Kane being the culprit.

What a horrible fucking Show.  This was iMPACT! with a bigger crowd and better production values.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 6/11/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, “Last week on Smackdown…” video, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  We are TAPED from Tampa, Florida!  Tonight, Rey Mysterio Jr. takes on Jack Swagger!

Rey Mysterio comes out to the ring and cuts a promo, saying he’ll win the World Title at Fatal 4 Way.  The World Heavyweight Champion Champion Jack Swagger comes out to retort.  Swagger says Mysterio capitalized on Undertaker’s misfortune.  Swagger talks about all the stuff he’s done.  Mysterio says all of that stuff was stupid, then makes fun of Swagger’s lisp.  The Straight Edge Society come out.  CM Punk calls Monday’s NXT attack an assassination attempt, likening himself to Malcolm X and John F. Kennedy.  He cuts a promo on Mysterio and Swagger and says he’ll become a 4-time World Champion at the PPV.  Mysterio says everyone is tired of Punk’s promos.  Mysterio says Punk should have some dignity and show his bald head.  Punk says Mysterio and Big Show are bald.  I love that comeback.  Big Show comes out.  Show says he’ll win the title at the PPV.  He puts over Mysterio as a fellow babyface, then makes fun of Swagger and Punk, all the while poking fun at himself.  Show says he’ll take Punk’s mask off later tonight.  Punk says Show isn’t going to pull anything off, then says “How about I pull off your face?”  Awesome.  Kane appears in the screen and cuts a promo, speculating that someone in the ring could be responsible for Undertaker being a kumquat.  Kane says whoever did it will end up the casket.  Kane begins to speculate that several or all of them were responsible, then yells and closes the casket, then looks all mad.  Weird.  Commercials.  Long opening segment.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Swagger takes Mysterio down and out wrestles him.  Repeat.  Mysterio low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger comes back in and beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio hits a bulldog for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard rana, the 619, and a springboard splash, but Swagger gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Swagger bails.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger sends Mysterio out of the ring.  During the break, Mysterio hit the Bombs Away off of the apron.  Swagger clamps on a rear chin lock, then transitions to a body scissors.  Mysterio escapes, then eats a clothesline.  Swagger covers for 2.  Swagger hits a throw off the top rope for 2.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger stretches Mysterio across the ring post, then throws him back in the ring.  Cover gets 2.  Swagger goes back to the body scissors.  Mysterio makes a comeback.  Swagger cuts him off and gets him caught in the tree of woe.  Swagger charges, but Mysterio moves and Swagger spears the post.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away.  Swagger catches him with a boot for 2.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio counters and hits 2 619s and a springboard leg drop for the pin in 9:43.  Good match.  Swagger jumps Mysterio afterward and puts the boots to him.  Kane comes out and chokeslams Swagger, then Mysterio.

Tonight, footage of the NXTerrorist attack from Raw!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

LayCool and Kaval come out.  LayCool are disgusted with the audience, except for McCool’s parents.  I don’t condone beating women, but I wish Kaval would kick them both in the fucking head.

Non-Title: WWE Women’s Champion Layla (w/ Michelle McCool & Kaval) vs. Tiffany (w/ Kelly Kelly).  Layla slaps Tiffany.  Tiffany throws some forearms.  Tiffany goes op top and gets kicked in the head.  What the fuck is fucking Low-Ki supposed to learn from watching women who can’t wrestle?  Oh right, the WWE style.  Some shit happens.  Tiffany gets an inside cradle for 2, then decks McCool on the apron.  Yay!  Layla hits a neckbreaker for the pin in 1:44.  This sucked.

NXTerrorist attack footage, NEXT!

They show the footage the NXT Season 1 rookies destroying the fuck out of everything on Raw.  I’m honestly tired of seeing it by now, but I’m so glad they’re putting the angle over as something major.

Striker and Grisham talk about the angle.  I love how Striker is all pissed off about it.

Christian comes out.  They show footage of the Handicap Match with Christian against Dolph Ziggler & Chavo Guerrero Jr. from Superstars last week.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and is annoying.  I want to choke her out once for every time I’ve ever had to hear her say “Excuse me.”  She introduces Dolph Ziggler.

Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler bails immediately.  Christian chases him.  Ziggler gets the jump on Christian getting back in the ring.  Christian slingshots Ziggler out of the ring to eliminate him from the Battle Royal.  Wait, that was last week.  Christian comes off the top rope to hit Ziggler with a dive to the outside.  Back inside, Christian goes up top, but Ziggler pushes him off and Christian takes a bump to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler keeps the heat on Christian.  Ziggler comes off the top and eats Christian’s boots.  Christian fights back with slaps.  Ziggler avoids something off the top, then eats a missile dropkick.  Cover gets 2 for Christian.  Ziggler throws Christian to the apron.  Christian slaps him and hits a diving cross body.  Ziggler rolls through for 2.  Ziggler hits a Fameasser for 2.  Christian hits his corner kick and the diving European uppercut.  Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Ziggler locks in the sleeper.  Christian counters out and hits a springboard sunset flip for the pin in 3:58.  Good match.  Curt Hawkins and Vance Archer jump Christian and lay him out with their finishers.  Ziggler puts Christian out with the sleeper hold.  Ziggler and Vickie hug.

Kane cuts another weird promo backstage with his casket.

Tonight, Big Show takes on CM Punk!

Drew McIntyre comes out SUITED UP!  He calls out Teddy Long.  Long comes out.  McIntyre tells him to watch the TitanTron.  They show McIntyre losing to King Kingston last week, then getting dropped by Matt Hardy, then losing to Hardy on Raw.  McIntyre cuts off Long every time he tries to talk.  McIntyre says, per Mr. McMahon, Matt Hardy is suspended from all WWE programs.  Long tries to talk again, but McIntyre takes his mic and throws it out of the ring.  McIntyre says he has some news for Teddy.  WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston comes out.  He, like me, is sick of McIntyre being a spoiled brat.  They brawl.  Kofi knocks McIntyre to the floor with the Trouble In Paradise.  Yay Kofi!

The Big Show is headed our way!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Teddy Long tries to get Mr. McMahon on the phone.  Drew McIntyre snatches his cell phone and throws it away.  McIntyre says next week they have a match, and if Long doesn’t show up, he’s fired.

The Big Show vs. CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena).  Punk throws some shots that have no effect.  Punk goes to the top.  Show dares him to try it, giant fist cocked.  Punk bails.  Insta-commercials.  Show pulls Punk back into the ring and chops him.  Show’s blows to Punk have a much greater effect.  Show goozles Punk and tries to pull his mask off.  Gallows and the masked SES member jump Show to cause the DQ in 3:31.  SES beat down Show.  Kane comes out.  Chokeslams to the masked man and Gallows as Punk and Serena wisely bail.  Kane chokeslams Big Show too.  Kane stands tall as the show closes.

Pretty good show this week!

WWE Monday Night Raw 6/7/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  Cut straight to the arena, where Raw and Smackdown GMs Bret Hart and Teddy Long make their way to the ring.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Bret Hart welcomes the people to the Viewer’s Choice Raw.  Go to WWE.com and vote.  Joy.  They announce that the fans will pick the opponents for the participants in the Raw Fatal 4 Way match.  Long says they should talk about Randy Orton.  Orton comes out with his arm in a sling.  He says he wants Edge tonight.  Edge comes out to retort.  Long whispers in Bret’s ear.  Bret agrees to leave it up to the fans.  Long says it will be a debate, a sit-up contest, or a one arm match.  Stupid.  They pick the one armed thing.  I already hate this show.  Long announces that the first match is Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show.  It’s either Over The Top Rope Challenge, Submission Match, or Body Slam Challenge.  Stupid, stupid shit.  Big Show comes out.  Commercials.

Matt Striker reveals the results.  Body Slam Challenge wins.  Lawler is an idiot.

Body Slam Challenge: The Big Show vs. Chris Jericho.  Show is amused.  Jericho looks near tears.  Jericho slaps Show.  Show kicks his ass.  Jericho side steps Show in the corner and tries to slam him but fails, of course.  Show beats up Jericho some more.  Show signals for the KO punch.  Jericho bails.  Show grabs him, but Jericho pulls his arm across the top rope.  Jericho tries to work the arm.  Jericho comes off the top and gets caught with a chop.  Jericho tries a cross body, but Show catches him and slams him for the win in 2:52.  That was stupid.  Show puts Jericho in a camel clutch and Jericho taps out.  Show is announced as the winner again.  Show throws Jericho out of the ring to win again.  This was really, really stupid.

Miami!

Who will the Hart Dynasty face?  The Usos (now named John & Jey) (w/ Tamina), The Dudebusters, or Great Khali & Hornswoggle.  We get short promos from all 3.  Ugh.

WWE.com plug.

Striker reveals the winners… Khali & Hornswoggle.  FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya) vs. Great Khali & Hornswoggle.  Khali mauls Kidd.  Hornswoggle tags in and goes for the tadpole splash.  Kidd avoids it.  Smith kicks Khali off the apron.  Kidd pins Hornswoggle in 1:18.  This was retarded.  The Usos and Tamina attack the Harts again.  This week, the Harts clean house.

Lawler gets up from the announce table, saying he has a problem.  Cole introduces the Smackdown Rebound, with an angle so shitty is has to be recapped.

Guest hosts the A-Team cast are next.  Well, they can’t make this show any worse.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The stars of The A-Team are introduces.  Only Bradley Cooper comes out.  He greets the crowd and leaves.  What was the fucking point of that.

Jerry Lawler is backstage looking for someone.  Quinton Jackson and Sharlto Copley find him.  Lawler says somebody stole his crown.  They say they’ll find it.  They go outside and encounter the Bella Twins, but stay in character.  Fuck, I hate this show.

Santino Marella comes out.  He’ll face Vladimir Kozlov in… a match, an arm wrestling match, or a dance off.  Fuck.

Vladimir Kozlov comes out.  Striker reveals the results.  It’s a Dance Off.  Shoot me now.

Santino dances… or comes out of the closet, I’m not sure which.  Kozlov does the robot, I think, and some other retarded shit.  “Vintage Kozlov!”  Cole is a moron.  Kozlov is judged the winner.  Kozlov and Santino dance together, then Kozlov shoves him down.  Ugh.  This show is retarded.

All of the divas are backstage.  Will it be a 12 woman tag, a battle royal, or champion vs. champion?  Can I vote for none of the above?

The Divas come out.  Lawler reveals that it’s gonna be a Battle Royal.

Divas Battle Royal featuring WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, The Bella Twins, Gail Kim, Tiffany, Kelly Kelly, Maryse, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool, and WWE Women’s Champion Layla.  They fight.  Rosa gets eliminated by one of the Bellas.  McCool and Layla eliminate Tiffany.  McCool eliminates Kelly.  Gail eliminates Fox, then goes over herself.  LayCool eliminate the Bellas.  Eve fights LayCool  and manages to eliminate them both.  Maryse and Jillian beat down Eve.  They eliminate her.  Jillian declares herself and Maryse co-winners, but Maryse eliminates Jillian to win it in 3:55.  This sucked.  Are you surprised?

Cole and Lawler talk about how great all the stupid bullshit I’ve suffered through tonight were.

Sheamus is backstage.  He encounters Kane, who accuses him of turning Undertaker into a cucumber.  Sheamus says if he had done it, he wouldn’t be shy about it.  Kane calls him a liar and hopes to see him soon.

Who will Sheamus face?  Kane, Mark Henry, or Evan Bourne?

Sheamus comes out.  They show him getting pinned by Evan Bourne in the tag match against Bourne & John Cena last week.  Matt Striker reveals Sheamus’ opponent… Kane (with 88%).  Big surprise, right?

Sheamus vs. Kane.  Kane goes on the attack.  Sheamus cuts him off on the top rope and hits an over the shoulder powerslam for 2.  Commercials.  Sheamus puts his knee in Kane’s back and pulls on his arms.  What the fuck is that move called?  Kane gets out and boots Sheamus in the face.  Kane hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam, but Sheamus kicks free.  They counter each other until Sheamus hits a reverse DDT backbreaker.  Kane avoids the pump kick and goozles Sheamus out of the ring.  Sheamus comes back in.  Kane hits the chokeslam.  Sheamus rolls out of the ring.  He decides to take the count-out loss in 7:24.  Kane is pissed.  Best match on the show so far, and it wasn’t good either.

Tonight, Orton vs. Edge in a one armed match.

Who will John Cena face tonight?  Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk?

Miami.

Wade Barrett hype video.

Savannah interviews Wade Barrett.

Ted Dibiase Jr. bitches to Virgil.  Sharlto Copley and Quinton Jackson come in and accuse him of stealing the crown.  Another retarded segment.  Irwin R. Schyster comes in.  He repo’d the crown because Lawler owed back taxes.  There’s a “gas attack” and Copley passes out.  FUCKING RETARDED.

R-Truth and The Miz are headed out for a tag match.  R-Truth’s partner can be Christian, MVP, or John Morrison.  Miz’s partner can be Dolph Ziggler, William Regal, or Zack Ryder.

WWE Classics on Demand plug.

WWE United States Champion R-Truth makes his entrance.  His partner is… John Morrison.  Black Magic and the White Shadow reunite!

Lawler votes for William Regal to be Miz’s partner.  So did I.  Miz comes out and cuts a promo.  His partner is… Zack Ryder.  Really?

WWE United States Champion R-Truth & John Morrison vs. The Miz & Zack Ryder.  Miz and Truth start.  Miz does his jumping around, then tags in Morrison.  They hit a double hip toss.  Morrison nips up and tags Truth immediately back in.  They hit a double suplex.  Miz boots R-Truth in the face and tags in Ryder.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker on Truth, then tags in Miz.  Lots of quick tags.  Miz beats up Truth for a bit.  Morrison tags in and runs wild.  Morrison knees Miz in the face for 2, as Ryder saves.  R-Truth and Ryder are sent outside.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Morrison for the pin in 3:21.  It was okay, but rushed.

Edge bitches to Bret Hart backstage.  Hart encounters Kane, who of course, accuses him of turning Undertaker into a head of lettuce.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

One Arm Match: Edge vs. Randy Orton.  Orton’s arm is in a sling and Edge has an arm tied behind his back.  Orton ducks a clothesline, side steps a boot, and clotheslines Edge.  Orton does the Garvin Stomp.  Orton humps the mat and goes for the RKO.  Edge avoids it and hits a shoulder block.  Edge unties his arm and attacks Orton.  The ref tries to pull him back, then DQs  Edge in 1:35.  Edge goes for the spear, but Orton kicks him in the head, then kicks him out of the ring.  Orton follows Edge outside.  Edge attacks Orton’s arm with a chair.  I don’t think this stupid shit they keep having Orton do is going to be good for his shoulder.  This whole thing was stupid.

Cole and Lawler recap this shitty show, of which there is unfortunately still another hour.  They show “highlights” just to kill time.

John Cena will face either Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk, but voting isn’t until later.  Ugh.

NXT season 2 starts tomorrow.  Joy.

Miami.

Earlier tonight, this show sucked.  It still sucks.  Also, Edge vs. Randy Orton happened.

John Cena and Evan Bourne chat backstage.  Bourne leaves and Savannah interviews Cena.

The stupid A-Team guy wakes up.  Mean Gene Okerlund interviews him.  He’s still in character and things Gene is the old guy character.  Josh Matthews is there too.  This was fucking retarded, just like everything on this fucking show.

Drew McIntyre comes out.  Teddy Long introduces the candidates for his opponent: Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, and a mystery opponent who is obviously Matt Hardy.  I want to see McIntyre vs. Rampage.

Striker reveals McIntyre’s opponent…. the mystery man (with 88%).  It’s Matt Hardy, to the shock of absolutely nobody.

McIntyre says the match isn’t happening because Hardy is suspended.  Teddy Long says Hardy is suspended from Smackdown, not Raw.  I love loopholes.

Drew McIntyre vs. Matt Hardy.  Hardy kicks McIntyre’s ass.  The referees celebrate them.  Hardy clotheslines McIntyre out of the ring and kicks his ass out there.  Back inside, McIntyre drops Hardy with a big boot.  Hardy avoids McIntyre in the corner and McIntyre spears the post.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for the pin in 1:26, then bashes McIntyre’s head against the mat.  The referee tries to separate them.  McIntyre finally manages to run away, getting some of his hair pulled out in the process.

Rampage Jackson is handcuffed to a chair backstage.  Dibiase, Virgil, and IRS are holding him captive.  They’re gonna take him to the ring and answer something.  Ugh.  This shit is retarded.

Ted Dibiase Jr., Virgil, and King Irwin R. Schyster have Rampage Jackson handcuffed to the top rope.  Dibiase says even he has a price.  Somebody hired him to capture his character from the A-Team.  It’s “Rowdy” Roddy Piper!  That’s hilarious.  Piper is still holding a grudge. He cuts a typically great Piper promo on Rampage.  The A-Team music plays.  Dusty Rhodes, Gene Okerlund, and Sharlto Copley come out in a golf cart.  Rampage breaks free and hits a spinebuster on Dibiase.  Rhodes hits the Bionic Elbow on IRS.  Piper shoves Virgil into Rampage to get chokeslammed.  Mean Gene interviews the A-Team and Dusty.  Also, they finally recover Lawler’s crown.  At least this segment was funny.  First time in a while one of these stupid guest host segments was funny.

Voting for the Cena match is open now.

Next week the guest host is the guy from Royal Pains.

Cole and Lawler say it’s been a fantastic show.  This is a lie.  Lawler votes for Mysterio to face Cena.  So did I.

Josh Matthews interviews the choices: Rey Mysterio Jr., World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, and CM Punk (w/ The Straight Edge Society).

WWE Champion John Cena comes out.  Striker reveals his opponent, CM Punk.

Non-Title: WWE Champion John Cena vs. CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena).  Cena goes for the mask and Punk bails.  Cena schools Punk some more.  They do some nice counter wrestling.  Cena goes for the mask again and Punk bails again.  Back inside, Punk lands some knees and attacks Cena’s mid-section.  Sweet dropkick to the back of the head gets 2.  Punk applies a figure-four head scissors.  Cena tries to make a comeback, but Gallows trips him.  Commercials.  Cena escapes a hold and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk hits a DDT for 2.  Punk throws Cena out of the ring.  Serena gets her cheap shot in.  Back inside, Punk lands some kicks on Cena.  Cena makes his comeback.  When he goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Wade Barrett comes out to distract him.  He hits it anyway, then goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but gets distracted by Barrett approaching the ring.  The rest of the NXT season 1 guys (Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Skip Sheffield, Daniel Bryan, Justin Gabriel, and Darren Young) come through the crowd and beat the hell out of the Straight Edge Society, then get in the ring.  Otunga decks the referee.  Cena goes on the attack, but it’s 8 on 1, so he gets destroyed.  The rookies attack Striker and the announcers and demolish the ringside area.  The bell finally rings at 11:58.  I assume it’s a no-contest.  The rookies beat up all of the ringside personnel.  The rookies start tearing the ring apart.  Cena tries to fight back, but gets beaten down again.  The NXT guys take turns hitting moves on him.  They beat the hell out of Punk some more.  Sheffield clotheslines Cena.  Danielson screams “You are not better than me!” at Cena.  Danielson tropes Cena with a kick.  Barrett hits his shitty finish on Cena.  Gabriel hits the 450 splash.  The NXT guys finally leave, having completely devastated the ring and surrounding area.  Doctors check on Cena.  EMTs come out to stretcher Cena out.  Nobody seems concerned with the dead announcers and such.

This show was the absolute drizzling shits up until the main event, which was a good match.  The ending angle was interesting, and I’m very curious about where this is going.

WWE Superstars 6/3/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are first announcers.  Justin Roberts is first announcer.

Mark Henry vs. Primo.  Primo rolls around Henry, then does a cart wheel.  Henry attacks Primo with his large body.  Primo kicks Henry’s legs.  Henry slams Primo.  Primo avoids being sat on and hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Henry throws Primo across the ring on the kick out.  Primo kicks Henry’s knee some more, then locks on a front face lock.  Henry throws Primo.  Primo works the knee again.  Henry is over like a mofo in Austin.  Primo comes off the top and gets caught with a clothesline.  Primo goes for a springboard cross body, but gets caught.  Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin in 3:14.  Fun little match.  Austin loves them some Mark Henry.

Tonight, Tiffany takes on Michelle McCool.  Ugh.

WWE.com plug.

Gail Kim vs. Jillian Hall.  Wasn’t this exact match on this exact show like 2 weeks ago?  They do their stuff.  Gail hits a monkey flip and a dropkick that causes Jillian to fall out of the ring.  Jillian stumbles around the ring.  Gail hits a sweet rana to the outside.  Jillian sends Gail’s face into the apron.  Jillian gets heat on Gail back in the ring.  Jillian face plants Gail for 2.  Gail avoids a handspring in the corner and hits a rana.  Jillian goes for a flippy thing, but Gail catches her with her knees.  Gail goes up top, but Jillian cuts her off and hits a superplex.  Cover gets 2.  Jillian goes for a backslide, then Gail hits the Eat Defeat for the pin in 5:29.  It was okay I guess.

Tiffany vs. McCool next.  Joy.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are now the announcers.  Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Michelle McCool (w/ WWE Women’s Champion Layla) vs. Tiffany.  Tiffany takes McCool down and locks on a front face lock.  They actually do some sweet chain wrestling.  McCool throws Tiffany out of the ring.  McCool knees Tiffany into the announce table.  Tiffany makes it back in the ring and gets beaten up some more.  Tiffany makes her comeback and actually manages a monkey flip.  Hair takedown.  Cover gets 2 for Tiffany.  McCool rolls through a sunset flip and hits the Styles Clash for the pin in 2:55.  This was better than it had any business being.

Vickie and Chavo Guerrero are backstage.  Chavo is facing Christian tonight.  Dolph Ziggler comes on so Vickie can hit on him.

Christian comes out.  The main event is next.

They show Christian & Hornswoggle beating Chavo & Ziggler last week on Smackdown and Ziggler’s subsequent putting to sleep of Christian.

Christian vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Christian shines.  Missile dropkick gets 1.  Striker makes some references to Kerwin White that nobody got (and Dolph Ziggler was his caddy).  Christian throws Chavo out of the ring and hits a dive.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and makes it a handicap match, with Ziggler as Chavo’s partner.  Insta-commercials.

Handicap Match: Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler & Chavo Guerrero Jr.  They get heat on Christian.  Ziggler works Christian’s arm.  Chavo tags in and works over Christian.  Ziggler chokes Christian behind the referee’s back.  Ziggler tags in.  Christian hits his corner rebound kick and makes his comeback.  Ziggler cuts him off.  Chavo tags in and hits the Eddie hilo.  Chavo counters the third Amigo with the reverse DDT.  Christian knocks Ziggler off the apron and hits Chavo with the diving European uppercut.  Chavo hits the brainbuster and goes for the frog splash.  Ziggler blind tags himself in.  Christian avoids the frog splash and hits the Killswitch.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin (8:51 shown, total).  It was fine.  Vickie Guerrero watches happily backstage.

Nice, easy to watch show, so I have no complaints.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 5/21/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on Smackdown…”

Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, The Big Show takes on Drew McIntyre and Jack Swagger takes on Kofi Kingston in a “first time ever” match I’m almost certain has happened before.

The Straight Edge Society are in the ring with 3 dudes sitting on stools.  Luke Gallows and Serena talk about how great CM Punk is.  Punk does his usual “Pledge Straight Edge” bit.  The dudes take the pledge, which is kinda creepy.  The SES shave the dudes’ heads.  Rey Mysterio comes out to interrupt and shows a picture of what Punk will look like bald.  It looks like Justin Credible with a bushy beard.

During the commercials, the Straight Edge Society beat up their new pledges.

WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool vs. Kelly Kelly & Tiffany.  Layla and McCool are pretending to be “co-champions.”  Layla looks impressive for the second time in a row.  Layla takes a face bump into the apron.  Kelly knocks McCool to the floor too and hits her with a cross body off the top.  Tiffany catches Layla with a cross body off the apron.  Tiffany hits a diving sunset flip on Layla for 1.  Tiffany hits a monkey flip.  McCool tags in and counters a monkey flip into the Styles Clash for the pin in 2:02.  They tried.

The Big Show talks about his recent ownage of Jack Swagger.

JTG vs. Caylen Croft (w/ Trent Barreta).  Inset promo with The Dudebusters.  They “bust dudes up.”  JTG shines.  Croft beats him up.  JTG makes his comeback.  JTG hits the Mugshot.  Barreta tries to distract JTG, but JTG hits the Sling Blade on Croft for the pin in 2:35.  It was a match.

Christian and Vickie Guerrero talk about the return of the Peep Show tonight.  She wants to be the guest.  Christian says he actually wants people to watch the show.  Christian names a bunch of random people that the Peeps would rather have on his show.  Christian says his guest will be someone he’s never seen eye to eye with.

Vance Archer & Curt Hawkins vs. Brent Roberts & Jeremy Barner.  Hawkins beats up the green-trunks clad jobber.  Archer takes his turn having his way with green.  The jobber in black and white trunks gets beaten up next.  Archer hits the British Fall.  Hawkins follows with a diving elbow drop for the pin in 1:16.  Squash.  They cut a promo after the match.

Big Show talks more about owning Jack Swagger.

Jack Swagger is headed our way!

World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger comes out and talks about Big Show disrespecting him and his daddy.  Kofi Kingston comes out and they show him having the Intercontinental Championship he had just won taking away from him last week.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Kofi lands some kicks and sends Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger comes back and gets clotheslined out of the ring again.  Insta-commercials.  Kofi works Swagger’s arm.  He gets knocked out of the ring, but catches Kofi on his dive and rams him into the post.  Swagger beats up Kofi.  Kofi avoids the springboard Vader Bomb and goes for a diving cross body, but Swagger catches him with a middle kick for 2.  Swagger controls Kofi on the mat.  Kofi gets a sunset flip for 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex.  Swagger keeps the heat on.  Kofi hits a tornado DDT and makes his comeback.  Punches in the corner.  Kofi hits the SOS for 2.  Swagger ducks a kick and the Trouble In Paradise.  Kofi counters a  backdrop suplex and hits a side Russian leg sweep.  Swagger hits a clothesline to the back of the head and a big boot.  Big Show comes out to distract Swagger.  Kofi hits a springboard cross body for the pin (8:20 shown).  Good match.  Tonight’s WWE fact is “Kofi just beat you!”

Still to come, Show vs. McIntyre!  Also, MVP & Rey Mysterio take on the Straight Edge Society!  The Peep Show is NEXT!

Christian comes out to do the first Peep Show in years.  His guest is Hornswoggle.  Ugh.  Hornswoggle does DX stuff.  Yeah, that’s current.  Christian teaches Hornswoggle to speak Canadian.  Vickie and Chavo Guerrero interrupt.  Vickie is so fucking obnoxious.  She says she’s shutting down the show.  Christian makes fun of Vickie’s weight and gets Hornswoggle to call her a moose.  Vickie sends Chavo to clear the ring.  Hornswoggle hides in a box.  Dolph Ziggler jumps Christian from behind and hits the Zig Zag.  Chavo hits the frog splash on Christian.

MVP and Rey Mysterio are headed our way!

Rey Mysterio Jr. & Montel Vontavious Porter vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows (w/ Serena).  MVP and Gallows do stuff.  Mysterio tags in.  MVP press slams Mysterio into Gallows for 2.  Mysterio hits a leg drop for 2.  MVP tags in and hits the Yakuza kick for 2.  Serena distracts MVP to let Gallows get the advantage.  The heels get heat on MVP.  Mysterio gets the hot tag and runs wild.  He knocks Punk off the apron and hits his moves on Gallows.  Punk blind tags himself in and hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Mysterio fights out of the Go 2 Sleep and gets a cradle.  Gallows saves.  MVP takes on Gallows.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  The hooded SES member gets on the apron.  Mysterio kicks his ass.  Mysterio hits a Frankensteiner for the pin in 6:42.  Good little match.  Mysterio kicks Punk out of the ring after the match.  They show bald Punk on the screen again.

Josh Matthews interviews the Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre.  Kofi Kingston interrupts and says McIntyre doesn’t deserve the title and “BOOM!  BOOM!  BOOM!”

Show vs. McIntyre is NEXT!

Batista/John Cena hype video.

Striker and Grisham hype the Over The Limit card.

Big Show comes out for the main event.  They show him costing Swagger his match earlier tonight.  The main event is NEXT!

Non-Title: The Big Show vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre.  Show beats up McIntyre.  McIntyre bails, but Show brings him back to the ring.  McIntyre goes on the attack, but is overwhelmed.  McIntyre thumbs Show in the eye to get the advantage… then hits killed with a clothesline.  McIntyre pulls Show across the top rope and tries to set up the Future Shock, but fails.  Show kicks his ass some more.  Show hits the chokeslam.  Jack Swagger attacks Big Show for the DQ in 3:50.  Swagger hits Show with a couple of springboard Vader Bombs and stomps on his punch/chokeslam hand.  Swagger goes for a chair, but Show punches it.  Show grabs the chair and Swagger bails.  Show stands tall 2 days before the PPV.

Pretty decent show this week.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 5/7/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on Smackdown…”

Smackdown open.  Tonight, Kane takes on Jack Swagger!  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Savannah is the ring announcer.

Matt Hardy comes to the ring.  They show his recent destruction at the hands of Drew McIntyre.  McIntyre comes out.  Hardy challenges McIntyre to make him go away.  McIntyre says he’s untouchable because he’s Vince’s boy.  Hardy challenges him to come in the ring and fight.  They brawl.  Referees separate them.  McIntyre attacks Hardy from behind, stomps his head, and pounds him some more.  Teddy Long comes out and orders McIntyre to stop.  McIntyre attacks Hardy again.  Long suspends him.  McIntyre attacks Hardy again.  Long fires him.  McIntyre grabs Teddy’s suit, then decks Hardy again.  Long tells security to take McIntyre out of the building.  McIntyre yells that he’s untouchable.  Long checks on Hardy.  Referees and agents (including Ricky Steamboat and Tony Garea) escort McIntyre out of the building.  McIntyre says “We’ll see who’s fired.”  Trainers help Hardy.

Josh Matthews interviews Teddy Long.  He doesn’t know what to say or do about anything, including the Intercontinental Championship.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Luke Gallows (w/ CM Punk & Serena).  Brawl.  Gallows knocks MVP off the apron and into the barricade.  Gallows beats up MVP on the outside, then back inside.  Butterfly suplex gets 2.  Gallows pounds on MVP some more.  MVP makes his comeback.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow and goes for the Playmaker.  Serena distracts him.  Gallows hits a move for 2.  Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out and Pearl Harbors Punk and leaves through the crowd.  MVP hits the Paydirt for the pin in 3:50.  Nothing to see here.  Commercials.

The Straight Edge Society is still in the ring.  Punk calls out Mysterio.  Mysterio comes out and notes that he just did to Punk what some masked guy has been doing to him lately.  Punk says Mysterio wants to be saved.  Mysterio wants to shave Punk’s head.  Mysterio proposes that they wrestle at Over The Limit.  If Punk wins, Mysterio joins the Straight Edge Society.  If Mysterio wins, he shaves Punk’s head.  Punk agrees.  Mysterio suggests that they skip the match and both honor the stips tonight.  Punk says no.  Mysterio says Punk’s message is good, but the messenger is bad.  They talk some more.  Mysterio asks Punk why he doesn’t lead by example.  Anyway, the match is on for the PPV.

Kelly Kelly & Tiffany vs. Michelle McCool & Layla next.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Kelly Kelly & Tiffany vs. Michelle McCool & Layla (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  They show the bullshit from Superstars.  McCool and Tiffany start.  Tiffany does some monkey flips.  McCool bails.  Tiffany faces off with Vickie and Layla.  McCool cheap shots her.  Shit happens.  Layla and Kelly tag in.  Kelly drops Layla.  Tiffany tags in and hits a diving cross body.  McCool saves, then cheap shots Tiffany.  Layla hits a neckbreaker on Tiffany for the pin in 2:55.  This sucked.

Josh Matthews is with Teddy Long, who announces a 4-man tournament for the vacant Intercontinental Championship.  The semifinals are Christian vs. Cody Rhodes and Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Tournament – Semifinal: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler.  They show Ziggler’s wonderful destruction of Hornswoggle from the Draft show.  He should be awarded the belt, the Nobel Prize, and the Medal of Honor for that.  They lock up.  Ziggler hits a shoulder block.  Kofi jumps around and drops Ziggler for 2.  Kofi sends Ziggler out of the ring and hits a diving.  Ziggler catches Kofi with a shot before Kofi can make it back in.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler works a rear chin lock.  Ziggler beats up Kingston.  Cody Rhodes watches backstage.  Striker makes a Prince Nana reference.  Kofi hits his weird cradle out of nowhere for 2.  Ziggler boots Kofi down and goes for the Flair pin, but Kofi kicks out.  Ziggler hits an X Factor for 2.  Ziggler goes back to the rear chin lock.  Kofi fights up and hits a jawbreaker to escape it.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop.  Ziggler avoids the Trouble In Paradise and rolls through a cross body for 2.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold.  Kofi hotshots Ziggler into the ropes to break it, then hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin (8:28 shown).  Good little match.

Same “Last week” video from the opening, with last week’s main event segment (Swagger talking for hours, then getting KTFO’d by Big Show).  Tonight, Swagger takes on Kane!

Hype for the Over The Edge card.

Christian and Heath Slater come out.  The other semifinal is NEXT!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Tournament – Semifinal: Christian (w/ Heath Slater) vs. Cody Rhodes.  They lock up.  Rhodes with the early advantage.  Christian does his stand on the ropes.  Rhodes avoids the palm strike.  Christian throws Rhodes out of the ring and hits a baseball slide dropkick, then fakes a dive.  Rhodes catches Christian with a shot on the outside and sends him into the steps.  Rhodes beats up Christian.  Christian hits the springboard sunset flip for 2.  Rhodes whips Christian into the turnbuckles, then dropkicks him into them.  Insta-commercials.  Rhodes reverses a suplex attempt and drops Christian with a front suplex.  Rhodes hits a knee drop for 2.  Rhodes stretches Christian against his knee.  Rhodes hits a superplex.  Christian catches Rhodes with an inside cradle for 2.  Rhodes puts the boots to Christian.  Christian slaps Rhodes, then clotheslines him and they both tumble out of the ring.  Back inside, Rhodes covers for 2.  Rhodes goes to the middle rope and dives.  Christian catches him with a shot to the middle.  Christian hits his weird rebound kick and a missile dropkick for 2.  Rhodes avoids a diving cross body and gets an Oklahoma Roll for 2.  Rhodes counters the Unprettier.  Christian lands on his feet from a backdrop and hits the reverse DDT for 2.  Christian jumps to the middle rope.  Rhodes pulls him off.  Rhodes hits a moonsault body block for 2.  Christian sends Rhodes into the ring post and hits the Killswitch for the pin (9:59 shown).  Really good match.  Kingston vs. Christian for the title next week.

They show the same video from Superstars withe Hart Dynasty title win over Miz Show and Big Show KTFO’ing Miz, Jericho, Edge, and Swagger.

Jack Swagger is headed our way!

They show McIntyre’s destruction of Hardy from earlier tonight.

Kofi Kingston vs. Christian for the vacant Intercontinental Championship NEXT WEEK!

Savannah introduces the World Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger!  Swagger starts to repeat all of his achievements.  Insta-commercials.

Swagger continues talking.  Kane finally interrupts.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. Kane.  Swagger tries an amateur take down, but Kane elbows him in the face.  Swagger takes him down and we get the bizarre spectacle of Kane doing amateur wrestling.  The Big Show comes out (HE SUITED UP!) to join the commentary team.  Swagger attacks Kane.  He does fine until Kane catches him with a shot when Swagger comes off the turnbuckles.  Kane hits the diving lariat.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Swagger counters and sends Kane into the turnbuckle, which somehow got exposed.  Swagger is DQ’d in 5:11.  Swagger holds the belt up to taunt Show, then turns around into a big boot from Kane.  Kane disassembles the announce table.  Swagger counters him and rams him into the post.  Show chokeslams Swagger through the announce table.  Show poses with the belt.

This show was really lame, except for the Intercontinental Title tournament matches.  Christian/Rhodes was really good.