Archive for Tiffany Terrell

WWE ECW 6/9/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then highlights of Tommy Dreamer winning the ECW Championship in a Triple Threat Match against Christian and Jack Swagger this past Sunday at Extreme Rules.  ECW open.

Pyro and ballyhoo, then Matt Striker and Josh Matthews welcome us to Biloxi, Mississippi.

Tony Chimel introduces the ECW GM, Tiffany, who in turn introduces the NEW ECW Champion, Tommy Dreamer, who, since he is the champion, gets a new contract.  He says a few kind words, then as he gets ready to sign on the dotted line, Christian comes down with a box of tissue.  Christian is angry that Swagger got pinned, costing Christian his title.  He says that he will regain the title when he gets his rematch, then shakes Dreamer’s hand.  Tommy again tries to put pen to paper, but Jack Swagger interrupts.  He wants Christian to go to the board of directors with him and have Dreamer stripped of the title because he things the one day extension on Dreamer’s contract wasn’t valid.  Christian teases agreeing, then he decks Swagger and he and Dreamer send him out of the ring.  Dreamer finally signs his contract, but as he celebrates, Christian powerbombs him through the table that was set up in the ring.  That was mean.

How will this SHOCKING turn of events affect our main event tonight, in which Dreamer & Christian are scheduled to take on the Hart Dynasty?  Commercials!

This Monday: The 3-For-All!

Tiffany is talking to some guys backstage who knocked some shit over.  Christian shows up and Tiffany tells him he took out Dreamer, so now he has to tag with Swagger.

Tony Atlas (w/ Mark Henry) vs. Evan Bourne.  Atlas is still jacked, but old and immobile.  Bourne bumps for him and practically wrestles himself.  Atlas decides to try a little bit and takes a bump or two.  Bourne wins with the Shooting Star press at 3:14.  Henry jumps Bourne and hits the World’s Strongest Slam after the match.

Striker and Matthews reaffirm that the main even tonight is now Christian & Swagger vs. The Hart Dynasty.  Commercials!, including an awesome Extreme Rules highlights video.

Handicap Match: Vladimir Kozlov vs. Luke Hawx & Chris Lewie.  Kozlov destroys the jobbers with extreme prejudice and pins Lewie at 1:33 with his move.

Christian and Swagger bicker in the locker room.  Commercials!

“Last night on Raw…” segment.  Striker and Matthews then announce that Monday night on Raw, there will be a four-way match between Randy Orton, John Cena, Triple H, and Big Show for the vacant WWE Championship.  Plus, Tommy Dreamer will defend the ECW Championship against Christian.

The Hart Founda…. er, Dynasty, comes out for the main event.  Natalya says her boys will beat the two former ECW Champions.  Commercials!

The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya) vs. Christian & Jack Swagger.  Harts take turns working over Christian to start.  Christian counters Kidd and tags in Swagger.  Swagger has a brief exchange with Kidd, then shoves Christian to tag him back in.  Christian hits a missile dropkick on Kidd, the Swagger shoves him in a shot from Kidd.  Harts start to work over Christian again as we take our final commercial break!  Back from break, Christian plays face in peril.  I guess he has to, since he’s the only face in the match.  Swagger calls for the tag, but fakes out.  Christian slaps him.  Shouldn’t that count as a tag?  Awesome sequence between Christian and Smith.  Kidd tags in and almost takes the Killswitch, but counters it.  Another great sequence between Christian and Kidd.  Christian gets a near fall with his reverse DDT. then Swagger double crosses him.  Shock shock.  Smith pins Christian after the Hart Attack at 11:26.  Really good match.  Swagger and the Hart Dynasty commence to beat down Christian, but Tommy Dreamer runs down with a Singapore can to make the save, even though Christian powerbombed him through a table earlier in the show.  Dreamer’s music plays, fade to black…

WWE WrestleMania XXV (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then an awesome WrestleMania opening video where various wrestlers talk what they think is the greatest WrestleMania moment of all time, then comments on the big matches tonight.

Howard Finkel welcomes us to the *sigh* 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.  I’m not even going to get into that today.  The Fink then introduces Nicole Somethingorother from the Pussycat Dolls, who sings a horrible rendition of “America The Beautiful.”

The Army National Guard presents WrestleMania!  “Shoot To Thrill” plays, fireworks, and Jim Ross welcomes us to WrestleMania.  Wow, I feel really welcome with all of these welcomes.  Justin Roberts introduces our first match, the Money In The Bank Lader Match!  Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole are doing a three-man commentary team tonight.  Also, we finally have the long awaited return of the Spanish announce table!  Carlos and Hugo are back, baby!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle and rocking the old school Belfast Bruiser vest thingy) vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane.  Christian’s entrance is the only one to get an audible pop from the huge crowd.  On TV, anyway.  According to people who were there, the crowd was way hotter live than it appeared on TV, so maybe there was some audio trouble or something.  Enough of that, on to the match!  Bell rings, everybody pairs off and brawls.  Kane and Henry go at it.  Maybe they’ll take each other to prevent them from dragging the match down.  Christian and Benjamin take them down with a ladder, then try to take out Kofi.  Kofi leapfrogs the ladder, then dropkicks it and legdrops the ladder with both the guys under it.  “Controlled frenzy” line from Cole.  The ladder gets set up and Kane and Henry climb it.  Other guys come in and take the big dudes out, then they all climb a couple of ladders.  Kane and Henry come back in and push the two ladders over, then fight each other again.  Kane knocks Henry down and throws one of the ladders out of the ring, then climbs the other.  Henry comes in and tips the ladder over to send Kane crashing.  Finlay comes in and takes out Henry, who throws the ladder out.  Finlay lands a tope suicida on Kane and Benjamin.  Christian follows with his own dive, followed by MVP, then stereo dives from Punk and Kofi.  Benjamin hits a fucking insane dive off of a tall ladder in the aisle onto the pile of guys.  “HOLY SHIT” chant.  Henry teases diving, but Henry whacks him with the stick.  Hornswoggle sets up a step ladder and Finlay helps him climb onto Henry, then dive onto the pile.  The video was skipping, so I think my DVD may have not burned properly.  Kofi does an awesome spot where he dropkicks Finlay through an open ladder.  Finlay nails him with the step ladder, then uses it to nail the other guys coming back in.  Finlay goes to make the climb, but Kofi kicks him off and climbs himself.  Henry comes in and pushes the ladder over.  The next awesome Kofi spot happens, where Henry is holding an unopened ladder vertically.  Kofi climbs it and gets caught by Henry, who transitions it into the World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder.  Henry climbs, but MVP comes and takes him down, then sets up another ladder between the set up ladder and the top rope.  Benjamin comes in and he and MVP do some crazy shit that ends with Shelton taking a powerbomb.  MVP climbs, Punk stops him.  Christian tries to stop him but gets knocked down, then gets back up on the horizontal ladder behind Punk.  They fight, then Christian hits a botched but cool Unprettier off the ladder.  MVP climbs up, but Benjamin sets up the crazy thing and runs up, then botches a sunset flip off the ladder and gets a “YOU FUCKED UP” chant.  Benjamin powerbombs MVP out of the ring onto Henry and Atlas.  Finlay and Benjamin both climb.  Shelton nails Finlay, who takes a bump on the horizontal ladder.  Christian comes in and fights with Benjamin.  Benjamin sets up the ladder that has been horizontal, so we now have two vertical ladders.  They climb, but the ladder falls over.  Benjamin spills out of the ring, but Christian catches the top rope with his foot in a cool Captain Morgan post and gets it straight again.  Punk tries to stop Christian, but gets his leg caught in the ladders.  Kane comes up and chokeslams Christian off the ladder (not as cool as it sounds).  Punk goes for the prize, but Kane goozles him.  Punk kicks Kane in the head to knock him down, then takes the briefcase of the win at 14:29.  That’s where I timed it, but my DVD did skip a bit so it probably is the 14:24 other reports have it as.  Fucking awesome match.  Kofi really shined here, but everyone had their moments.

Axxess highlights.

Kid Rock mini-concert.  He performs a medley of his songs consisting Bawitaba, some song I don’t know, Cowboy, All Summer Long, and So Hott.  During the last one, the 25 divas in the Battle Royal make their way to the ring.  The whole thing goes about 10 minutes.

Now I actually put some work into working out this clusterfuck of a match, so bear with me.

Divas Battle Royal featuring Kelly Kelly, WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Layla, Jillian Hall, Rosa Mendez, Maria, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Eve Torres, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Katie Lea, Sunny, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Joy Giovanni, Torrie Wilson, Alicia Fox, Tiffany Terrell, Victoria, and Santino Marella (in drag).  The bell rings and they start fighting while Roberts introduces the match.  Mae Young is at ringside with Candice Michelle as the guest timekeeper.  Now this clusterfuck is impossible to call live, but from my earlier research, the order of elimination is Layla, Joy, Rosa, Alicia, Sunny, Torrie, Jackie, Maria, Gail, Jillian, Eve, Tiffany, Kelly, Molly, Maryse, Katie Lea, Natalya, Victoria, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Michelle McCool… then the finish is Beth going for the Glam Slam on Melina, but Santino bundles them both out to win the match at 6:10.  Pointless, but at least we got to look at a bunch of hot chicks for a few minutes.  I can say that my ridiculously jealous wife is gone.  Candice comes in the ring to present the Miss WrestleMania crown and sash to the winner.  He introduces himself as “Santina, Santino’s twin sister from Italy.”  The announcers don’t even actually acknowledge that it’s Santino.  Beth looks on, pissed.

Jericho vs. Legends hype video, a lot of which is about Mickey Rourke.  They show Rourke taking his seat in the audience.

Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steaboat, Roddy Piper, & Jimmy Snuka (w/ Ric Flair).  Piper, who looks incredibly old, insists on starting.  He spits his gum at Jericho, then proceeds to kick his ass for the first few minutes, other than an embarrasing spot early on when Piper gets his arm stuck in the ropes.  Piper throws a half assed dropkick that only connects with one leg.  Snuka tags in and looks fucking terrible.  Steamboat tags in to a big pop and looks FUCKING AWESOME.  Steamboat nails a couple of GORGEOUS arm drags, causing me to mark out for an arm drag for the first time in my life.  Steamboat works the arm a bit, then tags Snuka back in.  They do a double chop and Snuka’s doesn’t even connect.  Jericho locks Snuka in the Walls of Jericho for the submission at 3:45.  Thank God.  He refuses to break the hold until Piper and Steamboat come in and force him.  There are some incidents of the audio going out for a second.  Piper goes after Jericho again, poking him in the eyes and locking in the sleeper hold.  Jericho escapes and hits an enzuigiri for the pin at 4:45.  Steamboat hits a sweet diving crossbody for a near fall.  Steamboat and Jericho go at it, and it’s awesome.  Jericho tosses Steamboat out and decks Flair as Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Steamboat sends Jericho out of the ring and dives onto him, then sends him back in and hits the diving karate chop.  More chops, then Steamboat gets a near fall with a reverse cradle.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, but Steamboat avoids it.  Steamboat catches Jericho with a powerslam for a near fall.  Jericho locks in the Walls, but Steamboat manages to counter out with an inside cradle for another near fall.  Jericho goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands on his feet.  Jericho catches the Codebreaker out of nowhere for the win at 8:57.  Snuka was awful.  Piper tried, but wasn’t good.  Steamboat was the fucking man and made the match.  Flair attacks Jericho after the match, but ends up taking a backdrop and eating the Codebreaker.  Jericho challenges Rourke.  Rourke stalls forever before finally getting in the ring.  They have an impromptu amateur boxing match which ends with Rourke catching Jericho with a left hand and knocking him down.  Flair comes in and celebrates with Rourke.  Another pointless waste of time.  The post-match stuff, not the match, though the match would have been MUCH better if it was just a Jericho/Steamboat singles match.

Army National Guard commercial.

The announcers chat a bit to introduce the Hardys video package.

Extreme Rules Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy.  Matt talks trash, then Jeff jumps on him and kicks his ass.  Jeff pulls a WrestleMania poster from under the ring and breaks it over Matt’s head, prompting a great line from Lawler: “Well, at least Matt finally got his face on the WrestleMania poster.”  Matt catches Jeff with a chair to the legs while Jeff was attempting the Whisper in the Wind, then moments later nailed him with a shop vac.  I was amused.  Matt hits the Side Effect on the chair for a near fall.  Ouch.  Matt sets up a table on the outside.  Logic says Matt will be the one to go through that table later on.  Matt takes a bump in the steps and the ref and trainer check on him.  Matt hits him with a Singapore cane, then puts a trash can over his head and hits him with a crutch.  Jeff hits a front suplex and goes up top, but Matt avoids the Swanton bomb.  Matt hits the Twist of Fate, but Jeff kicks out at two.  Jeff hits Matt with a chair, then sets him up on that table from earlier.  Jeff sets a chair on top of Matt, then sets another table on top of the table on which Matt is laying.  Jeff goes to the top rope and dives through the table.  Told ya so.  “HOLY SHIT” chant, but I’m pretty sure the top table actually made the spot safer.  Jeff puts Matt in the ring and covers, but Matt puts his foot on the bottom rope.  Jeff brings in a ladder, then sets up a chair and hits a leg drop off of it.  He sets up two ladders and does that “jump from the shorter ladder over the taller ladder and do a leg drop” spot, but Matt moves and Jeff dies.  Matt his a Twist of Fate using an open chair, which looks SICK, for the win at 13:15.  Good plunder match, and no doubt the best match they’ve ever had against each other.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.

Randy Orton is shown in his locker room with Legacy, getting ready.  At least Dibiase and Rhodes got a second of screen time.

Lillian Garcia introduces the first Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania in 7 years.  JBL comes down, cutting a promo about how he is returning to Texas as a champion and being the only hero Texas has, or something to that effect.  Mysterio makes his entrance with an awesome Heath Ledger Joker mask and outfit.  Lillian does the introductions in-ring, then JBL nails Mysterio with a big boot, then nails him with some punches.  The referee asks Mysterio if he still wants to wrestle.  He says he does, so we have…

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio ducks a kick and hits an enzuigiri, a dropkick, the 619, and the diving splash for the win in 21 seconds.  Mysterio celebrates and leaves with the gold.  JBL takes the microphone and quits, which makes the crowd pop big.  He leaves, yelling at the crowd that they’ll regret him leaving.

A nice shot of the Houston skyline.  A NASCAR driver is in the crowd.

Shawn/Taker video package.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker.  Here we go.  Awesome entrances, as Michaels descends from above, then Taker rises from the stage.  Bell rings.  Taker looks to throw punches, but Michaels ducks and lands his own blows.  Taker gets hold of Michaels and tosses him into the turnbuckle.  Michaels responds with a defiant crotch chop.  Michaels leap frogs Taker and pounces on him.  Taker finally manages to land some punches and hammers Michaels down.  Michaels answers with chops, but Taker throws him into the corner, then back body drops him.  Taker press slams Shawn and drops an elbow.  First cover of the match gets a one count.  Taker hits Old School.  Shawn chop blocks Taker to weaken his leg, then locks in the figure-four.  Taker throws some punches and manages to escape.  Taker kicks Shawn’s ass for a minute until Michaels counters a chokeslam attempt into a crossface.  Taker finally manages to get up and drop Michaels with a side slam to escape it.  They trade blows.  Michaels hits the forearm and nips up.  Michaels knocks Taker down and goes to the top for the big elbow, but Taker gets up and catches him with the goozle.  Michaels counters the chokeslam attempt and feigns a superkick.  He goes for the figure-four again, but Taker locks in the Gogoplata.  Michaels scampers around and manages to get a rope break.  Michaels avoids the apron leg drop, causing Taker to hurt his leg again.  Michaels hits a baseball slide kick, then goes for a moonsault to the outside, but Taker avoids it.  Taker gets back in the ring and goes for a suicide dive.  Michaels pulls a camera man (played by Sim Snuka) in the way and Taker ALMOST KILLS HIMSELF.  I don’t know how he managed to not break his neck.  It was a tope suicida that almost turned into a Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Taker BARELY beats the count back in the ring.  Michaels tunes up the band and goes for the superkick, but Taker catches him with a huge chokeslam for a VERY close two count.  They counter each other’s finishes until Michaels lands the superkick for the one, two… TAKER KICKS OUT!  They rest for a moment, then Michaels nips up and stands over the dead Taker.  Taker comes back to life and goozles him, then gets up and goes for the Last Ride.  Michaels counters.  Taker goes for it again and hits it big time for the one, two, hegothimnohedidn’tcomeonref!  Taker, for some reason, goes for the diving elbow drop, but crashes and burns when Michaels moves.  When everybody gets up, Taker throws Michaels over the top rope.  Michaels skins the cat… right into the Tombstone!  Taker covers for the one, two, and MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers the straps to reveal his chest, which has been beaten blood red.  He goes for another Tombstone, but Michaels counters with somewhat of a DDT.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop, then NAILS the superkick for a very believable near fall.  Taker’s not done yet, though.  They make it to their feet and trade blows until Taker knocks Shawn down.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters.  Taker runs into Michaels’ boot in the corner.  Michaels goes for another moonsault, but Taker catches him and drops him with a second Tombstone and gets the pin at 30:43.  Fucking amazing epic match here, one of the best matches in WrestleMania history.

Raw Draft special commercial.

Evander Holyfield is in the crowd.  The announcers reflect on the epic match we just saw, but still have to feign interest in the matches still to come.

Edge/Cena/Show video package.

Lillian introduces Vickie Guerrero, who is wheeled down by Chavo.  At least Chavo gets a WrestleMania payday.  Edge makes his way out, then Show.  Cena’s old music hits and a bunch of Cena look-alikes come out and line the entry way.  Then the real Cena comes out.  I guess it’s the real Cena anyway.  In-ring intros, then we have…

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena tries to out-quick the other guys, but gets knocked down.  Edge tries to form an alliance with Show, but Show quickly betrays him.  Edge is disposed of, then Show beats down Cena.  Show ends up outside the ring and Cena hits his diving Fameasser to the oustide on Show.  Edge and Cena end up in the ring.  Edge hits his DDT and gets a near fall.  Show makes it back in.  Chavo pulls Cena out of the ring and gets F-U… er, has his Attitude Adjusted for his troubles.  Show does the Andre “tied up in the ropes” spot and watches Cena beat up Edge.  Vickie gets out of her wheelchair and gets on the apron.  Edge accidentally spears her for the 374th time.  Show finally gets out and beats up everyone.  Show goes for a double chokeslam, but Cena gets away, so Edge is the only one to take it.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjuster, but Show counters and nails his KO punch.  Show and Edge fight outside.  Edge spears Show through the guardrail.  Edge covers Cena for a two count back in the ring.  Edge goes for the spear, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Show makes it back up and pulls Cena out of the ring, then headbutts him.  Show goes for a Vader bomb on Edge, but Edge avoids it.  Edge and Cena unite to suplex Show, then they clothesline him out of the ring.  Edge takes a cheap shot and gets a near fall on Cena.  Cena hits the Throwback and goes up top.  Show pushes him off right into a spear from Edge in a cool spot.  Edge hops on Show’s back and tries to put him down with a sleeper.  Cena shows his retard strength and lifts both of them for the Attitude Adjuster.  Edge falls of and Show takes the move.  Cena hits it on Edge, dropping him on top of Show, then covers Show for the win at 14:43.  Not a bad match, but nothing was going to follow Shawn vs. Taker.

WrestleMania XXVI is coming to Arizona!

Justin Roberts introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2009: The Funks (Terry & Dory Jr.), Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, The Von Erichs (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky Steamboat, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Austin appears on the stage in his suit, then leaves.  He comes back out on his four wheeler in an Austin 3:16 shirt.  He drives down to the ring and drinks some beer, even sharing one with good ol’ J.R.  Ross puts this over as the end of the Austin era.

Backlash!  Backlash!  BACKLASH!

Lillian announces the attendance as 72,744.

Triple H/Orton history package.

Triple H is shown walking backstage.  He runs into Vince and Shane McMahon.  They exchange nods of the head.  Main event time!

WWE Championship Match: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Triple H can lose the title by DQ or count-out.  Entrances and in-ring introductions here too.  Triple H kicks Orton’s ass to start and gets told off by the referee.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere, but is an idiot, so doesn’t cover.  Orton goes for the punt of death, but Triple H avoids it and hits the Pedigree.  He is also an idiot and doesn’t cover.  They fight outside for a moment, then back in, then back out, then back in.  Orton begs off, but Triple H hammers him anyway.  They end up outside again.  Orton reverses Triple H and whips him into the steps, then into the time keeper’s area.  Triple H makes it back in the ring to avoid being counted out, but Orton goes to work on him.  My DVD starts skipping again.  Must have been a bad burn.  It finally starts playing right again, but my timing is going to be completely screwed now.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters with a quick jackknife hold for a near fall.  The match speeds up a bit now, with Triple H avoiding the RKO and getting a near fall with a quick schoolboy, then catching Orton with the big spinebuster.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Orton hits his 3.0 backbreaker for a near fall.  Orton catches Triple H coming off the turnbuckle with a sweet dropkick.  Triple H avoids the punt again and sends Orton outside.  Triple H teases hitting Orton with a monitor, but thinks better of it.  They tease a Pedigree through the announce table, but Orton backdrops Triple H to the other table, which doesn’t give.  Orton drops Triple H with his sick DDT off the table and they do the big count-out tease, but Triple H makes it back in.  Orton punishes him some more.  Ref bump.  Orton hits the RKO and retrieves the sledgehammer.  Triple H catches Orton coming back in and punts him.  Triple H hits Orton with the sledgehammer, hides it, and hammers Orton with punches.  The referee wakes up and makes Triple H stop throwing punches.  Triple H hits the Pedigree for the pin at 23:34 (according to Wikipedia since my timing got fucked up).  Flattest Mania finish ever, and Orton totally got jobbed.

WrestleMania highlight video.  Fin.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/30/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

Here we are with the go home Raw for WrestleMania 25!

WWE open, then a hearse backs into the arena.  Raw open, then Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show.  Tonight, something with Undertaker, I wasn’t paying attention, and John Cena vs. The Big Show.

WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox, Eve Torres, & Tiffany Terrell vs. WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Jillian Hall, Katie Lea, Nikki Bella, Layla, & Rosa Mendez.  18 woman clusterfuck.  Tiffany pinned Katie Lea with an inside cradle for the win in a couple of minutes.  Santino Marella comes down in a robe.  Santino said he went to WWE President Jack Tunney and found out he was dead.  He still wants to be in the Women’s battle royal at WrestleMania.  He disrobes to reveal some kind of gay outfit and does a gay dance around the ring.  He gets kicked out of the ring and Beth and Rosa pull him away.

Orton/Triple H replay #72,000,000,001.  Tonight: Orton’s address!  Haven’t we already been to his house?  Lawler takes on Chris Jericho NEXT!

Last week: Jericho killed Ric Flair and broke his watch.

Chris Jericho vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  Apparently the Jericho vs. old guys WrestleMania match is elimination or gauntlet.  Jericho has to beat all of them, but only one of them has to beat Jericho.  Jericho and Lawler lock up, then shove each other.  King hammers Jericho with punches.  Jericho gets in a cheap shot to get the advantage.  Jericho beats on King for a while.  King makes his comeback and lowers the strap so his man tits can flap freely.  Lawler blisters Jericho with punches.  Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho for the win at 3:25.  Jericho prepares to beat down Lawler some more, but Lawler lands a punch and Jericho bails.  Jericho takes the microphone and says he beat Lawler so he’s not getting back in the ring.  He says he’ll beat the old guys at WrestleMania, it’s just a matter of how.

12 Rounds hype.  I don’t care, nor will I ever.  Cena takes on Big Show TONIGHT!

Hall of Fame hype.  Commercials!

Toasty Torpedo Takedown… huh?  Cena wrestled Edge a few weeks ago and Big Show interfered.

Todd Grisham interviews John Cena.  Or tries to.  Edge steps in and recommends that he and Cena unite to take out Big Show.  Cena declines.

Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr. talk to Cole about Randy Orton.  Rhodes has on a new Legacy t-shirt.  Orton’s WrestleMania Address tonight will CHANGE WWE FOREVER!

Some people pull a casket out of the hearse.  Shawn Michaels pops out and mouths something.  Commercial.

Non-Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion John Bradshaw Layfield.  Yeah, lots of people are going to buy WrestleMania to see the exact match they just saw on TV.  JBL cuts a promo saying he wants this match for some kind of psychological advantage or something.  Rey tries to use his speed, but JBL overwhelms him with his size.  Commercial!  Back from break, JBL continues to overwhelm Mysterio.  Mysterio takes a fall away slam and roles out of the ring.  JBL goes out and puts the boots to him.  JBL brings him back in the ring and Mysterio makes a comeback.  Bombs Away and an enzuigiri from Mysterio.  JBL avoids a 619 attempt, but Mysterio hits it on the second try and follows with the frog splash for the win at 6:45.  That means JBL is winning at WrestleMania.

Replay of the Cena’s promo from Smackdown.  He’ll face Big Show NEXT!

WrestleMania XI video.

John Cena vs. The Big Show.  I’m not paying much attention, but Show has the advantage in the early minutes.  Big Show does a baseball slide dropkick of all things as we go to commercial.  Back from break, Show has Cena in a Camel Clutch like move.  Cena counters a chokeslam and hits that weird DDT/suplex Show always takes.  Cena goes for the STF, but Show blasts him with an elbow.  Cena goes for the F-U, but his back is hurt.  Show hits the chokeslam for the clean win at 10:37.  Edge shows up and pounds on Cena.

Orton’s WrestleMania address TONIGHT!

Replay of the Undertaker/Michaels stuff from Smackdown.  Michaels leads the pall bearers our way.  Commercial.

WrestleMania Axxess video.  Looks like lots of awesome stuff to do.

Moments ago: Cena/Show.

Shawn Michaels cuts his usual promo on Undertaker in the ring.  The ring is set up to look like a funeral or something.  The lights go out and Taker appears in the ring.  Michaels has disappeared.  Taker throws all the shit in the ring around.  Michaels appears from under the casket and lands the Sweet Chin Music.  Michaels runs away, Taker is mad, same old shit.

12 Rounds hype again.

Moments ago: Michaels/Undertaker stuff.

Hall of Fame hype: The awesome Steve Austin video plays.

WrestleMania hype I think.  I wasn’t paying attention.

Dibiase and Rhodes are with security guards.

Time for another Money In The Bank preview match!  CM Punk and Kane come out.  Commercial break, then Hardy vs. Hardy hype video.  That’s stupid.  Can’t it wait until after the match?

Battle Royal: CM Punk vs. Kane vs. WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Everybody fights.  Henry eliminates Finlay.  Hornswoggle distracts Henry and everyone dumps Henry out.  MVP and Benjamin fight on the apron.  Kane knocks them both to the floor to eliminate them.  Punk (I think) eliminates his former tag team parter Kofi Kingston.  Christian tries to eliminate Punk, but Punk fights back and hits his running knee in the corner.  Christian counters the bulldog and throws Punk out, but Punk holds on.  Kane throws Christian into Punk and they both go to the floor to give Kane the win at 3:38.  I think Punk hit first, if it matters.  Kane climbs the ladder and takes down the briefcase.  The build to this match has been retarded and repetitive.

Dibiase and Rhodes come with security to escort Orton to the ring.  Orton’s WrestleMania address is NEXT!

Randy Orton comes out and talks for a while.  They show Triple H turning on Orton back in 2004, Orton eliminating Triple H to win the Royal Rumble this year, and Orton’s various attacks on the McMahon family.  Orton says the IED was bullshit, which everyone knew.  He threatens the fans to shut up and listen to him talk or else.  They show the beatdown from last week.  He says he talked to Vickie Guerrero and she decreed that Triple H can lose the title by DQ or count-out and if Triple H brings a sledgehammer to the ring it’s an automatic DQ.  Orton calls for Dibiase and Rhodes to bring the security out.  He calls out Triple H because there’s an empty limo in the parking lot.  Mr. McMahon comes out instead!  Orton looks shocked.  Vince gets ready to fight.  Shane comes out next, followed by Triple H.  The McMahon men kick the shit out of Orton’s security detail, then brawl with Legacy.  Orton and Triple H end up brawling in the ring as the show fades to black.

WrestleMania 25 this Sunday on PPV!

I apologize for this review being so shitty.

WWE ECW 3/17/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Cold open this week.  Finlay and Hornswoggle arrive and meet Teddy Long, clad in St. Patrick’s day attire.  Hornswoggle disappears to cause mischief.  ECW open.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to wherever the hell we are.  They taped last night, so I guess it’s San Antonio.

Christian & MVP vs. WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas).  MVP and Benjamin start.  They’ll wrestle for the title this week on Smackdown.  Commercial.  Steve Austin Hall of Fame commercial.  Back to the match, where Henry has MVP in a bearhug.  MVP plays face in peril for a while.  He counters a Paydirt attempt with an overhead belly-to-belly and makes the hot tag to Christian.  Christian hits his reverse DDT on Benjamin for a near fall, decks Mark Henry on the apron, hits a monkey flip and a sunset flip out of the corner for a near fall.  Christian hits a tornado DDT and covers, but Mark Henry comes in and pulls him off the cover.  MVP comes in and he and Christian deal with Henry.  Christian decks Tony Atlas, but Benjamin hits him with the Paydirt for the win at 8:56.  Good match.

12 Rounds plug.  I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS MOVIE and it hasn’t even come out yet.

Finlay looks for Hornswoggle and finds DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox, who are dancing.

EVAN F’N BOURNE RETURNS TONIGHT!

WrestleMania XX video from last night or last week or whenever the hell they showed it.

Jamie Noble vs. Evan Bourne.  FUCK YEAH!  Awesome fast paced match.  Tyson Kidd and Natalya watch backstage.  Noble slows Bourne down by putting him in a facelock.  Bourne escapes and knees Noble in the face, then hits a swank rana.  Bourne hits a standing moonsault for a near fall.  Bourne heads to the top rope.  Noble stops him but gets kicked in the face a few times.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press for the win at 2:56.  That ruled for a few minutes.  I want Bourne vs. Tyson Kidd!

Finlay finds Hornswoggle throwing stuff at Katie Lea.  Commercial.

Randy Orton/Triple H hype video.

Smackdown’s 500th episode this Friday night!

ECW Champion Jack Swagger comes out so the fans can look at him, then leaves.  That was pointless.

Tiffany convinces Teddy Long to have a divas night on ECW.  Paul Burchill and Katie Lea barge in to bitch about Hornswoggle.  Long books Burchill vs. Finlay tonight.

Tonight: The Dirt Sheet!

Edge/Vickie/Show/Cena stuff from Raw last night.

Paul Burchill (w/ Katie Lea) vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Finlay destroys Burchill as Hornswoggle bothers the announcers.  Finlay sends a charging Burchill out of the ring, but then the distraction allows Burchill to get a cheap shot and get the advantage.  Finlay gets beat up for a bit, then hits the Celtic Cross for the win at 3:05.

The Dirt Sheet is NEXT!

Undertaker/Michaels hype.

12 Rounds hype.  WHY DO THEY HAVE TO HYPE THIS FUCKING MOVIE 2-4 TIMES EVERY FUCKING SHOW?

The Dirt Sheet.  I’ve never seen one of these.  World Tag Team Champions The Miz and John Morrison with the Bella Twins.  Brie seems unhappy to be there, while Nikki seems happy.  They show Miz and Morrison beating Carlito and Primo on Smackdown last week.  Miz and Morrison put on masks of butts with afros.  WWE Tag Team Champions The Colons come down and bring the Carlito’s Cabana set.  The Colons challenge Miz & Morrison to a tag title unification match at WrestleMania, and they accept.  The Colons spit apples at Miz and Morrison but miss and hit the Bella that likes Miz and Morrison.  She shoves the Bella who likes Primo and Carlito.  CATFIGHT!  Each team ends up with one of the twins.  Fin.  Fun show.

WWE ECW 2/10/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  A couple of weeks ago, Hornswoggle stole Jack Swagger’s ECW Championship belt.  Swagger pushed Hornswoggle and got his ass kicked by Finlay.  Last week, Finlay had a hand from Hornswoggle in handing Swagger is first defeat.

Matt Striker and Todd Grisham welcome us LIVE to Fresno, California as Jack Swagger makes his way to the ring.  He has to defend the title against Finlay at No Way Out, but tonight he’s calling out Hornswoggle!  However, the music that plays is a remixed version of “Just Close Your Eyes.”  It’s the returning Christian, who makes his way to the ring with a nice (not huge, but nice) response from the crowd.  Captain Charisma makes fun of Swagger’s lisp, then issues a challenge to the winner of the Swagger/Finlay No Way Out title match.  Swagger says Christian is not a threat to him, so Christian nails him with the microphone.  Instant commercial.

Moments ago: Christian nailed Jack Swagger with a microphone!

Swagger complains to Teddy Long and says he’s taking the rest of the night off.  Long says no, Swagger has a match tonight with Christian!

Tommy Dreamer is in the ring.  Last week, Miz and Morrison made fun of him, then beat him up.

Tommy Dreamer vs. World Tag Team Champion The Miz (w/ John Morrison).  Dreamer throws a weak punch, then awkwardly takes him down.  Tommy goes to ringside and makes Miz take a bump into the guardrail, then throws him back in.  Miz takes over briefly, then Tommy hits a backdrop suplex.  Tommy has a flurry of offense and gets a near fall with a Sky High-type move.  Dreamer hits a neckbreaker off the ropes and covers, but Miz gets a foot on the ropes.  A distraction from Morrison allows Miz to hit the Reality Check (I think) for the win at 3:08.

Tonight: Christian vs. Jack Swagger!

WWE Slam of the Week: Last week, the Boogeman squashed Jamie Noble.  Noble bailed before he got the worm treatment

Teddy Long is chatting with Tiffany in his office when Noble comes in.  Long offers him a rematch with Boogeyman, but Noble doesn’t want that.  He wants better treatment since he’s a huge superstar.  There’s a knock on the door.  It’s Natalya and TJ Wilson, who is going by the name Tyson Kidd.  They put over that he was trained in the Dungeon by Bret Hart.  Sure he was.  Was he?

No Way Out: Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels vs. JBL, a couple of Elimination Chamber matches, and Finlay vs. Jack Swagger.

Christian is getting ready when Finlay and Hornswoggle come in.  Finlay welcomes Christian to ECW, but warns him that after No Way Out, he’s going to have to go through him if he wants the ECW Title.

WrestleMania is 54 days away!

Evan Bourne returns… when?

Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya) vs. Bao Nguyen, whose name is way to difficult a name for a one shot jobber to have.  Bao goes a hammer lock to start, then Kidd kicks his ass.  Kidd nails a kick right to Bao’s face!  Kidd wins at 1:30 with a swank springboard elbow drop.  Jamie Noble appears at the top of the ramp to stare at Kidd and Natalya.  That should be a good one for next week.  Kidd was impressive.

Swagger vs. Christian is NEXT!

Raw Rebound: Orton talked, then wrestled Undertaker.  Legacy ran in and the three of them beat down Taker until Shane McMahon made the save.  Yes, Shane McMahon saved UNDERTAKER.

Non-Title: ECW Champion Jack Swagger vs. Christian.  Swagger out wrestles Christian to start, then Christian nails him.  Finlay and Hornswoggle comes down to join the announcers as we take an instant commercial break, during which Swagger took over and press slammed Christian out of the ring.  Back in the ring now, Swagger is beating up Christian.  Christian starts making a comeback when he hits a tornado DDT for a near fall.  He hits his reverse DDT and goes for either his frog splash or a headbutt, but misses.  Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Swagger counters and gets a near fall off of an Oklahoma roll, then a  belly-to-belly suplex.  They tease a German off the apron, but Swagger ends up being knocked off and into the announce table.  Swagger throws Christian over the table into Finlay and Hornswoggle.  Back in the ring, Swagger exposes the turnbuckle, but Christian gets him with an inside cradle for a near fall.  Hornswoggle provides a distraction, allowing Finlay to hit Swagger with the stick I can’t spell.  Christian takes advantage and hits the Unprettier for the win at 8:14+ commercials.  Pretty decent match.  It’s good to see Christian back in WWE and away from that circus in Orlando.

WWE ECW 1/13/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Hardy/Swagger hype video, then ECW open.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are our announcers.  Grisham puts this show over as one of the biggest ECW episodes in history.  DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox are dancing in the ring.

DJ Gabriel & Alicia Fox vs. Paul Burchill & Katie Lea.  The ladies start.  Fox hits some weak looking forearms.  At least she’s trying.  I’ve never seen her wrestle before, but she actually looks decent.  The men tag in and Burchill kicks ass.  Man, I miss Pirate Paul.  I’ve still got a piece of plastic pirate gold he threw out at a house show I went to March 2006.  Gabriel is pretty jacked, and Burchill still looks huge next to him.  Either Gabriel is a small guy or I’ve never noticed how big Burchill is.  Gabriel hits a diving European uppercut on Burchill to win at 3:01.  Not bad for what it was.

They show the awesome Austin Hall of Fame video from Raw again.

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy for the ECW Championship TONIGHT!  Commercial!

Royal Rumble Hype: World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. JBL (w/ Shawn Michaels).

Tommy Dreamer comes out in a suit.  There’s a sentence I never thought I would type.  Tommy is sad because he’s old.  He says if he doesn’t win the title by June 6, he’ll leave ECW.  Poor Tommy.

Another Jack Swagger video.  They’re trying like hell to put him over aren’t they?

Starrcade: The Essential Collection is available NOW!  I got the last copy my store had.

Tiffany and Ricky Ortiz are about to kiss when Hornswoggle runs in and causes a ruckus.  Finlay gives chase.

The Boogeyman vs. Sammy Savard.  Boogeyman wins in 59 seconds with the pumphandle slam.  At least it was short.  I saw Boogeyman and Booker T go 10 minutes at a house show once, and it wasn’t pretty.

Smackdown Rebound: Jeff Hardy and a paid actress his girlfriend had a car accident!

Matt Hardy is the ECW Champion, and Jack Swagger isn’t!  Enjoy it while you can, buddy.

Another plug for Kennedy’s movie.  I still don’t want to see it.

Mr. McMahon returns to Raw next week!  One of the video packages from Raw replays.  Among the people he fires are Kurt Angle and Mick Foley.  Burn, TNA, BURN!

ECW Championship Match: Matt Hardy (c) vs. Jack Swagger.  Boxing-style intros.  They sure are trying hard to make this feel like a big match.  Some fine wrestling to start.  Then a commercial.  Dammit.  Back from break, Swagger is in control, but Matt makes a comeback.  Swagger hits some forearms and sends Matt off the apron to the floor.  I hope Alicia Fox is watching and sees how to throw a proper forearm, because Swagger is throwing some good ones.  Another commercial.  Dammit.  Back again, Swagger is continuing to work over Matt’s arm so he can’t hit the Twist of Fate.  Swagger hits a superplex.  He tries for another, but Matt counters with a sunset flip powerbomb.  Matt gets a two count from that.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Swagger counters and hits a Belly-to-Belly.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Hardy hits a Russian leg sweep for another near fall.  Swagger hits a quick Vader bomb in the corner for a near fall, then goes back to the arm with a cross armbreaker.  Rope break gets Matt out of it.  Matt hits a reverse DDT for a near fall.  Swagger throws Hardy into the exposed turnbuckle and hits the Doctor Bomb to win the title at 18:42.  I think there was more commercial time than wrestling time, but what was shown was pretty good.

WWE Superstars 8/5/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 5, 2010 by Grappleholic

Superstars open.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Non-Title: Tiffany vs. WWE Women’s Champion Layla (w/ Michelle McCool).  They lock up.  Layla slaps Tiffany’s skirt or something.  Tiffany gets a sunset flip for 2.  They trade arm locks while LayCool act obnoxious.  Layla bails.  Tiffany follows, shoves Michelle down, and shoves her back in.  McCool kicks Tiffany in the leg.  McCool rams Tiffany’s leg into the apron.  Layla works the leg.  Layla applies an Indian death lock.  Fucking sweet!  Layla turns it into a pinning predicament for 2.  Tiffany makes her comeback and hits a bulldog headlock for 2.  Tiffany hits a suplex for 2.  Layla ducks a cross body and h its the neckbreaker for the pin in 5:11.  I want to punch Striker in the nuts every time he uses that obnoxious fake English accent. Typical crap, but the Indian death lock spot was cool.

NXT recap.  Because that horrid bullshit just HAS to be seen twice.

Tonight, Evan Bourne vs. Zack Ryder!  At least there might be something worth watching on this show.  The trailer for John Cena’s next movie that they also promise (threaten?) to show later will not be it.  Commercials.

They plug the SummerSlam song and WWE.com.

Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs. The Dudebusters.  Why the fuck are 2 lower-midcarder heel teams wrestling each other?  Hawkins and Barreta do some shit.  Croft tags in and gets a 2 count after a double team.  Archer tags in and beats up Croft.  Dudebusters double team Croft.  Archer knocks Croft out of the ring.  Commercials.  Hawkins and Archer get the heat on Croft.  Barreta gets the warm tag and runs wild.  Barreta hits a springboard dropkick, but Archer saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Croft low bridges Archer out of the ring and goes for a dive, but Archer avoids it.  Archer makes the blind tag and hits Barreta with a boot.  Archer hits the reverse DDT.  Hawkins tags in and hits the diving elbow drop on Barreta for the pin in 9:21.  It was fine, but who the fuck cares?  I mean, I actually go out of my way to watch fucking SUPERSTARS and even I don’t give a fuck about seeing these teams wrestle each other.  Or anybody else really.  Hawkins cuts a promo on the Hart Dynasty, because they want a title shot.

“Legendary” trailer.  Whatever.

Bourne vs. Ryder TONIGHT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The Miz hype video.

Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole are the announcers, which means Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Raw Rebound.

Cole and Lawler hype the SummerSlam card.

The main event is next!  Commercials.

Evan Bourne vs. Zack Ryder.  Ryder stands on the middle rope and taunts.  They lock up.  Ryder backs Bourne into the corner and cheap shots him to get the advantage.  Bourne hits a sliding kick for 2.  Ryder hits a clothesline for 2.  Ryder works over Bourne.  Bourne lands a dropkick and a rana… and another dropkick.  Bourne clotheslines him to the apron and kicks him to the floor.  Bourne goes for a dive, but Ryder moves and Bourne hits the guardrail.  Commercials.  During the commercials there’s one for Superstars featuring Cryme Tyme, who broke up 4 months ago.  Bourne tries to fight out of  a rear chin lock as they randomly show another shot of the announcers introducing themselves.  Ryder covers for 2.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2, then grabs another chin lock.  Bourne fights back.  Ryder hits a kick in the corner for 2, then locks in a crossface.  Bourne lands a kick and gets an inside cradle for 2.  Bourne hits a dropkick to the corner for 2.  Bourne tries to go up top, but Ryder grabs his leg.  Ryder hits a sit-out spinebuster for 2.  Ryder goes up top.  Bourne cuts him off, backdrops him to the mat, and hits the Shooting Star press for the pin in 13:02.  Okay match.

Mediocre show this week, which is depressing.  The main event was solid, though.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 7/30/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 1, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, “Last week on Smackdown…” video.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane is in the ring cutting a typical weird Kane promo with creepy music in the background.  There’s a casket in the ring.  Kane says Undertaker came out of his coma and spoke the name of his assailant… Rey Mysterio.  Well, Mysterio was the one who broke Taker’s orbital bone and started this stupid shit.  Kane talks for approximately 17 years.  He’s gonna put Mysterio in the casket, he says.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Grisham and Striker talk about Kane’s convoluted promo.  Tonight, Rey Mysterio faces Jack Swagger in a No DQ Match!

Christian vs. Drew McIntyre.  Christian tries a go behind, but McIntyre takes him into the corner.  Christian goes for a sunset flip, but fails.  McIntyre applies a shoulder hold.  Christian escapes and backdrops McIntyre to the floor.  McIntyre avoids a baseball slide dropkick, but gets dropkicked into the side of the ring.  McIntyre hides under the ring and suckers Christian in to pull his shoulder into the metal beams under the ring.  McIntyre takes Christian back into the ring and works his shoulder.  McIntyre clotheslines Christian off the apron and Christian takes a bump to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Christian barely beats the count back into the ring.  McIntyre coves for 2.  During the break, McIntyre hit a shoulder breaker onto the steps.  McIntyre keeps working the shoulder.  McIntyre hits a chokeslam for 2.  McIntyre hits a hammerlock slam.  Christian rolls to the apron.  McIntyre beats him up some more and rams his injured shoulder against the apron.  Cover gets 2.  McIntyre rams Christian’s shoulder into the turnbuckle and applies another shoulder hold.  Christian fights out and makes his comeback.  McIntyre backdrops Christian to the apron.  Christian pulls McIntyre against the ropes.  Christian hits a diving cross body, but McIntyre rolls through for 2.  Christian counters the Future Shock.  McIntyre counters the Killswitch.  Christian hits the reverse DDT, but hurts his shoulder in the process.  McIntyre hits an arm ringer for 2.  McIntyre stands on the injured shoulder.  McIntyre goes for a diving stomp, but Christian catches him with a raised boot.  Christian hits the diving sunset flip for 2.  Christian hits the diving European uppercut.  McIntyre throws Christian’s shoulder into the post and goes for the Future Shock.  Christian counters into an inside cradle for the pin (9:59 shown).  Really good match.

Tonight, Tiffany vs. Layla for the Women’s Championship.  Ugh.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes gives grooming tips.  He’s wearing that green crap on his face.

WWE.com plug.

Tonight, Mysterio vs. Swagger No DQ!

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

The Straight Edge Society is backstage.  Punk bitches at everyone for being failures.

The Big Show is in action NEXT!

Smack of the Night: Big Show taking of CM Punk’s mask 2 weeks ago and Joey Mercury’s mask last week.

The Big Show vs. Luke Gallows (w/ CM Punk, Joey Mercury, & Serena).  Gallows takes the fight to Show.  Show kicks his ass.  Show has Tony Chimel put the microphone up for one of his loud chops.  Show applies a front face lock and throws Gallows across the ring, then shoves him out of the ring.  Show follows and Punk attacks Show from behind to cause the DQ in 1:42.  The Straight Edge Society gang attack Show and send him into the steps.  Punk stomps Show’s hand into the steps.  Serena stomps Show’s hand with her heel.  Punk leaves his sling with Show.

Moments ago, ^ happened.  Show’s hand is all fucked up!

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  They lock up.  Kofi takes Ziggler down.  Ziggler gets up and takes Kofi down.  Sweet mat wrestling.  They brawl a bit, then Kofi hits a monkey flip and the corner punches.  Kofi covers for 2.  Ziggler slams Kofi a couple of times for 2.  Kofi hits a nip up rana to send Ziggler outside.  Ziggler drops Kofi across the middle rope with a cravat neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler puts the boots to Kofi.  Cover gets 2.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Kofi breaks free and fights back.  Ziggler avoids a splash in the corner and hits a sweet reverse powerslam for 2.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock again.  Kofi fights out again.  Ziggler hits a jumping elbow drop for 2.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler hits a snap mare and applies a neck and shoulder hold.  Ziggler beats on Kofi’s shoulder.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler locks in a cool bridge chancery.  Kofi fights out.  Ziggler goes for another neckbreaker, but Kofi counters with a jawbreaker.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag.  Kofi catches his legs, trips, and catapults Ziggler into the corner.  Kofi makes his comeback.  Idiot Grisham calls a clothesline a Superman punch again.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler chokes Kofi with the bottom rope.  Vickie slaps Kofi behind the referee’s back.  Kofi snarls at at Vickie, then tackles Ziggler and beats the shit out of him.  The referee DQ’s Kofi for refusing to stop beating on Ziggler in the ropes (10:32 shown).  Kofi rams Ziggler’s face into the announce table and beats the shit out of him some more.  Kofi throws Ziggler into the barricade.  Referees finally come out to break it up.  By virtue of this “victory,” Ziggler gets a shot at the title next week.  Okay match, but the crowd was pretty dead for it.

Tonight, Mysterio vs. Swagger No DQ!

Corpus Christi, Texas!

Raw Rebound.

Grisham and Striker hype the SummerSlam card.

Josh Matthews interviews Jack Swagger.

Kelly Kelly and Tiffany are walking backstage.  They walk past Rosa Mendez in Rosa’s weekly random exercise cameo.

Next week, Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship!

Before the horrible Women’s Championship Match, the horrible Vickie Guerrero comes out and horribly says that the horrible Michelle McCool will be the one defending the horrible Women’s Championship against the horrible Tiffany.  That sounds horrible.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Michelle McCool (w/ Layla (c)) vs. Tiffany (w/ Kelly Kelly).  Michelle does push ups.  Tiffany dropkicks her and kicks her ass.  Tiffany hits a superplex.  That seems dangerous for someone who doesn’t know how to wrestle, especially when the one taking the bump doesn’t either.  Cover gets 2.  Layla trips Tiffany.  Kelly and Layla brawl.  Tiffany dropkicks Layla.  Tiffany goes up top.  Michelle cuts her off and hits the Styles Clash for the pin in 2:38.  This was fucking abysmal.  Teddy Long appears on the screen and orders LayCool to decide which of them is going to be the Women’s Champion by next week or he’ll decide for him.  Maybe he’ll fire them both!  That sounds like an excellent decision.

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Mysterio vs. Swagger No DQ is NEXT!

No DQ Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Jack Swagger.  Swagger beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio avoids the Vader Bomb and lands a dropkick.  Swagger bails to avoid the 619.  Mysterio goes for an Asai moonsault.  Swagger catches him and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio counters Swagger to send him into the steps.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger goes for a superplex, but Mysterio knocks him down and hits the Bombs Away.  Swagger ducks a springboard cross body.  Mysterio low bridges Swagger out of the ring and hits a sliding headscissors to send Swagger into the barricade.  Mysterio goes for his flippy bulldog, but Swagger plants him chest first into the barricade.  They fight in the crowd.  Mysterio tries a diving rana from a guardrail, but Swagger catches him and powerbombs him into the rail.  They fight through the gimmick table and out of the arena when Swagger throws Mysterio out a door and down a flight of stairs.  They fight in front of the building.  Mysterio jumps off a bridge to hit Swagger with the Bombs Away.  They brawl some more.  Swagger tries to throw Mysterio into the Gulf of Mexico.  Mysterio counters with a headscissors and sends Swagger into the water.  Swagger screams for help, so apparently he can’t swim.  Kane appares and chokeslams Mysterio into the Gulf of Mexico.  Awesome.  The match is a no-contest.

Alright show aside from the horrid diva bullshit.

WWE Money In The Bank 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Money In The Bank open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  We’re LIVE from Kansas City, Missouri!  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers!  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. The Big Show.  Everybody gangs up on Big Show and Kane.  Rhodes sets up a ladder and tries to climb while everyone is distracted.  Show and Kane kick his ass, then brawl with each other.  Show tries to climb the ladder and the first rung he steps on breaks, just like on Smackdown.  Everybody attacks Show, but he clears them out and throws the broken ladder out of the ring at Kane.  Show looks under the ring for his special ladder, but all the little guys attack him and send him into the steps, then brawl amongst themselves.  McIntyre catapults Christian into a ladder, then sets up the ladder and starts climbing.  Hardy hits him with another ladder.  Hardy climbs the ladder, but Christian comes in and pulls him down.  Christian puts the boots to Hardy and climbs the ladder himself.  Hardy pulls Christian off and pounds on him.  Hardy and Christian go out of the ring.  Rhodes climbs the ladder, but Kingston cuts him off and starts climbing.  Ziggler cuts Kingston off and reaches the briefcase, but Christian cuts him off.  They brawl on top of the ladder.  Christian hip tosses Ziggler off the ladder.  Hardy pushes the ladder over.  Hardy hits the Side Effect on Kofi and Christian hits the reverse DDT on Rhodes.  Kane goes for a double chokeslam, but Hardy and Christian hit him with a double DDT.  Hardy and Christian sandwich Kane between ladders, then hit each other.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Christian counters and flapjacks Hardy into a ladder.  Christian does his “stand on the guy on the bottom rope” bit with the ladder.  Christian climbs the ladder, but McIntyre pushes it over.  Christian falls out of the ring and takes out Big Show in the process.  Rhodes hits a kick on Kane.  Kofi hits Kane with the Trouble In Paradise, then Hardy drops Kane with the Twist of Fate.  Kofi climbs a ladder, but Rhodes hits him with a backdrop suplex.  Hardy and Rhodes brawl on top of the ladder.  McIntyre pushes the ladder over.  McIntyre throws Hardy into the post, then Rhodes.  McIntyre climbs a ladder, but Ziggler cuts him off.  McIntyre throws Ziggler into the post.  Kane pulls McIntyre out of the ring and stomps his head in.  Kane tears up the announcers’ tables and tries to chokeslam McIntyre.  Kane fights back, but gets dropped with a big boot.  Kofi baseball slide dropkicks a ladder into Kane’s face, then beats up McIntyre on the Spanish announce table.  Kofi lays out McIntyre with the Trouble In Paradise, then climbs a ringside ladder and hits the Boom Drop on McIntyre through the table.  Ziggler climbs a ladder in the ring.  Show comes in, knocks the ladder over, and chokeslams Ziggler.  Kane tries to chokeslam Show, but Show fights him off and rams a ladder into him, then butt butts the ladder in the corner.  Show throws Rhodes out of the ring.  Christian and Hardy hit Show with a ladder.  Show grabs the ladder and shoves it over both of them, then splashes the ladder with Christian and Hardy under it.  That couldn’t have been fun for anyone.  Show brings his special ladder in from under the ring.  He struggles with it because it is a very heavy ladder.  He finally gets the giant ladder set up.  Rhodes comes in and hits Show in his injured leg with a step ladder.  Rhodes climbs the big ladder.  Ziggler cuts him off and hits an electric chair drop.  Ziggler climbs the huge ladder.  Show gets up and kills him with a big chop.  Hardy attacks Show and gets a big headbutt for his trouble.  Kofi springboards to the ladder and climbs, but Show grabs him.  Kofi turns it into a DDT and starts climbing again.  Rhodes hits Kofi with a missile dropkick to the ladder.  Nice.  Rhodes hits Kofi with the Cross Rhodes on a ladder.  Rhodes climbs the huge ladder.  Ziggler cuts him off and sort of hits the Zig Zag into the huge ladder.  That’s a very sturdy ladder.  Show headbutts Rhodes and Ziggler and finally climbs the huge ladder.  Kane comes in and pushes the ladder over.  Big Show tumbles over the top rope to the floor.  The other guys stack ladders on top of Show.  Show is pretty much buried in ladders.  Everybody else tries to climb the huge ladder.  Kane chokeslams Christian, then Hardy, then rams Kofi’s head into the ladder and pulls Rhodes down and decks him.  Kane climbs.  Ziggler climbs over him and goes for the briefcase.  Ziggler locks Kane in the sleeper hold.  Kane rams Ziggler’s head into the ladder.  Ziggler crash to the mat, then Kane chokeslams him into the pile of ladders burying Show.  Rhodes and Kofi pull Kane out of the ring, then brawl with each other.  Kane kicks their asses and chokeslams Kofi onto Show’s ladder pyre.  Rhodes runs up the ramp to get away from Kane.  Kane catches him and throws him like a javelin into one of the armored trucks making up the PPV set.  Hardy climbs the ladder.  Kane pulls him down.  Christian tries to climb up with Kane, but gets knocked down.  Christian and Hardy slam Kane down off of the ladder.  Christian and Hardy climb the ladder and fight at the top, then both fall off.  McIntyre finally recovers from being dead and climbs the ladder.  Kane recovers and choke pushes McIntyre to the mat.  Kane takes down the briefcase to win it in 26:17.  Awesome match.  The Raw guys are going to have a hard time topping it.

Josh Matthews interviews the WWE Champion, Sheamus.  He says he finally realized he had to fight against The Nexus, but he still hates John Cena.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Alicia Fox (c) vs. Eve Torres.  They lock up.  Fox takes Eve down.  Eve gets up and takes Fox down.  They lock up again.  Eve grabs a side headlock, then hits a shoulder block for 1.  Eve gets a jackknife hold for 1.  Eve gets a sunset flip for 2.  Eve lands a dropkick and goes for a tornado DDT, but Fox pulls her down.  Eve goes outside.  Fox follows and his met with a forearm.  Fox slams Eve into the side of the ring.  Fox pulls Eve into the ring and covers for 2.  Fox applies a backbreaker hold.  Eve knees her way out and makes her comeback.  Fox hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Eve hits sort a reverse monkey flip.  Eve hits a cross body for 1.  Eve lands some more dropkicks and goes for a suplex, but her back gives it.  Eve lands a kick and hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Eve drops Fox with another kick and tries a flip from the middle rope, but Fox gets her knees up.  Fox hits the scissors kick for the pin in 5:53.  They tried.  It was still pretty bad, but at least it wasn’t too horribly long.

They show the retarded shit from Smackdown where Kane chokeslammed and Tombstoned Jack Swagger’s daddy.

Jack Swagger is on the phone with his mom.  He’s gone from loving his daddy to blaming him for trying to steal his spotlight.

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Hart Dynasty (c) (w/ Natalya) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina).  Smith and the Uso with short tights start.  I keep forgetting which is which.  Cole says it’s Jey, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.  Smith hits a powerslam for 2.  Kidd tags in.  Smith hip tosses him into a rana on Jey.  Smith comes back in and brawls with Jey some more.  Jey grounds and pounds him.  Jimmy tags in and beats up Smith.  Jey tags in and hits a butt butt to the corner for 2, as Kidd saves.  Smith hits a back body drop on Jey.  Jimmy tags in and cuts off Smith from making the tag.  Jimmy cranks on a rear chin lock.  Smith hits a belly to belly throw.  Jey and Kidd tag in.  Kidd runs wild.  Kidd gets a springboard reverse cradle, but Jimmy makes the blind tag.  Usos hit a double team Samoan drop on Kidd.  Jimmy covers for 2.  Jimmy slams Kidd and goes for the Superfly splash, but Kidd gets his knees up.  Smith gets the tag and nails Jimmy with a shoulder block.  Smith goes for the Sharpshooter.  Tamina gets on the apron.  Natalya pulls her down and slams her on the floor.  Smith catches Jimmy’s superkick and locks in the Sharpshooter.  Kidd takes out Jey with a dive.  Jimmy submits to Smith in 5:53.  Fine little match.  All of these guys are really good.

Criss Angel: Mindfreak commercial.  That’s the sponsor of the PPV.

“Money” is the crappy PPV theme song!

Rey Mysterio/Jack Swagger video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Jack Swagger.  Mysterio is limping to sell the ankle injury.  Swagger goes for takedowns and Mysterio tries to stay away from Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger pushes Mysterio into the corner and goes for the ankle.  Mysterio fights to keep him Swagger off of his ankle.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger moves.  Mysterio tries a quebrada, but Mysterio catches him, powerslams him into the corner, and ties him to the tree of woe.  Mysterio avoids a blow and hits a diving Bombs Away to the floor.  That was stupid.  Mysterio goes up top again and Swagger hits a belly to belly throw from the top.  Swagger, naturally, works the leg.  Mysterio bails.  Swagger follows and him into the announce table.  The Spanish announcers are gone now.  Hah!  They only had them out there to go old school and break their table.  Swagger keeps working the leg back in the ring.  Swagger hits a fucked up Samoan drop or a powerslam or something for 2.  Swagger throws Rey around some more and goes for the springboard Vader Bomb, but Mysterio avoids it and kicks Swagger in the head.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away.  Swagger headbutts him in the middle.  Mysterio hits a headscissors that sends Swagger into the turnbuckle.  Mysterio hits a split legged moonsault for 2.  Swagger hits a wheelbarrow suplex for 2.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Swagger goes for the ankle, but Mysterio kicks him away.  Mysterio ranas Swagger into the post.  Swaggergoes for a powerslam off the middle rope, but Mysterio turns it into a DDT!  Cover, but Swagger kicks out!  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the West Coast Pop, but Swagger catches him and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio gets the ropes.  Swagger breaks, but hits the springboard Vader Bomb x2.  Swagger attacks the ankle again.  Mysterio loosens his boot.  Swagger applies the ankle lock again, but the boot slips off!  The boot trick!  Awesome!  Mysterio hits a Frankensteiner for the pin in 10:45.  Good match.  Awesome nod to Eddie vs. Angle from WrestleMania XX with the boot trick!  I always loved that spot.  Mysterio celebrates with the belt, but Swagger jumps him after the match and puts him back in the ankle lock.  Kane runs out to make the save and kicks Swagger’s ass to the back.  Mysterio celebrates again.  But wait, Kane is coming back with the Money In The Bank briefcase!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Kane.  Mysterio tries to get away from Kane.  Kane attacks the injured ankle.  Kane hits the chokeslam and the Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 53 seconds.  After 12 years, Kane is FINALLY World Champion again!  Good for him.  And it’s cool that they finally had someone cash in the Money In The Bank the night they won it.

Edge is backstage watching on a monitor.  Chris Jericho shows up.  They bicker and argue about which one of them is going to win the Raw Money In The Bank and cash it in tonight.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Layla (c) (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany).  They show LayCool’s recent attack on Kelly.  They lock up.  Layla powers Kelly into the corner.  The (worst) ref (in WWE) forces the break.  Kelly tackles Layla and kicks her ass.  Layla avoids the handspring elbow to the corner.  Kelly gets a victory roll for 2.  Kelly kicks Layla out of the ring.  Layla uses Finlay’s ring apron trick to trap Kelly’s leg and kick the crap out of it.  Layla baseball slide dropkicks Kelly into McCool at ringside, then sides her into the barricade.  Tiffany argues with LayCool.  McCool takes a cheap shot at Kelly.  Kelly shoves McCool over the barricade, then kicks Layla’s ass and throws her back into the ring.  Kelly is FIRED UP!  She gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Kelly hits the Fameasser, but Layla gets her foot on the bottom rope.  Tiffany and Kelly deck McCool.  Kelly goes back in and goes for a diving sunset flip, but Layla hooks her legs and gets the pin in 3:58.  This sucked.  Did you expect anything else?  Striker’s cooing over Layla is fucking obnoxious.

Please, Don’t Try This At Home!

Some National Guard folks are in the house!

The announcers plug SummerSlam slurpee cups.

Earlier tonight, the Smackdown Money In The Bank Ladder Match happened!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Randy Orton vs. WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne vs. Edge.  Edge brings in a ladder before the match starts, then bails as soon as the bell rings.  Everybody else goes for the ladder and starts brawling.  Everybody else goes outside and Edge sneaks in to climb the ladder.  Orton cuts him off and takes him outside to kick his ass.  Dibiase picks up a ladder, but gets kicked by Morrison.  Dibiase clotheslines Morrison onto the ladder.  Dibiase knocks Morrison off the apron with the ladder.  Bourne dropkicks the ladder into Dibiase.  Miz nails Bourne and throws him out of the ring.  Miz tries to set up the ladder, but Jericho comes in and brawls with him.  Henry throws a ladder at them.  Henry squashes Miz against the middle rope.  Jericho nails Henry with a ladder, then throws it on him.  Bourne sets up a ladder.  Jericho comes at him with another ladder, but Bourne drops him.  Bourne sets up a ladder properly and climbs for the prize.  Edge cuts him off, but Bourne hits a rana to send Edge out of the ring.  Orton comes in and beats up Bourne.  Orton uses the ladder to hit the DDT OF MURDER!  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on Orton.  Morrison stumbles and knocks over the ladder.  Dibiase comes in.  Morrison tries to suplex him, but Miz saves.  Miz and Dibiase stomp Morrison.  Morrison flapjacks Miz into a ladder, then drop toe holds Dibiase onto it.  Morrison climbs the ladder.  Edge climbs the other side.  Jericho sets up another ladder next them and climbs.  Orton climbs the opposite side of Jericho’s ladder.  Henry comes in and pushes both ladders over!  Bourne hits a springboard knee on Henry, then falls out of the ring.  Maryse checks on Dibiase, then decides to climb the ladder herself.  Morrison comes in and pulls her down, then orders her to the back.  Dibiase sneaks in and climbs the ladder, but Morrison cuts him off.  Awesome attempt at trickery there.  Dibiase charges Morrison in the corner with the ladder, but Morrison moves.  Outside, Miz nails Morrison with a ladder.  Edge climbs a ladder in the ring.  Morrison does a crazy bit falling on one ladder to the ladder Edge is on.  Edge traps Morrison in the ladder.  Edge and Miz ram another ladder into Morrison, then Edge nails Miz with it.  Edge pushes the ladder over with Morrison inside it.  Dibiase comes in and hits Edge with another ladder.  Dibiase sets a ladder up upside down for some reason.  Jericho tries to bring in another ladder, but Dibiase takes it from him and nails him and Orton with it.  Dibiase rams Edge into his weird ladder structure and climbs up the normal ladder.  Henry cuts him off.  Dibiase dives at Henry, but Henry catches him and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Henry knocks a ladder into Jericho, then press slams Miz onto the ladder and Jericho.  Henry climbs the ladder.  Bourne jumps on his back, but Henry keeps climbing.  So Big Show can’t climb the ladder, but Henry can climb it with Bourne on his back?  Does show way 700 lbs or something?  Edge and Orton cut Henry off, but Bourne almost reaches the briefcase.  Edge and Orton launch him outside at Henry, who hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Morrison lands a kick on Henry.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker.  Edge hits the spear.  Orton, Morrison, Edge, Jericho, and Miz all climb.  Dibiase tries to cut them off, but gets kicked out of the ring.  Dibiase adds another ladder to make a bridge.  Miz takes a bump into it.  Dibiase stands on the bridge.  Edge and Orton bring him down onto the ladder and throw him out of the ring.  Orton hits the RKO on Edge.  Jericho kicks Orton to send him outside.  Jericho and Morrison fight on top of the ladder.  Jericho gets his leg stuck in the ladder.  Orton hits the RKO on Morrison.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press on Orton.  Bourne climbs the ladder while Jericho dangles from it.  Bourne almost gets the briefcase, but Jericho cuts him off and swings the briefcase into his face.  Edge climbs up to fight Jericho.  Orton hits Jericho with an RKO off the ladder!  Orton knocks Edge off into Dibiase’s wacky ladder set up deal, then climbs the ladder.  Miz comes in and pushes the ladder over.  Miz climbs the ladder and takes down the briefcase to win it in 20:27.  Another wild match, but not as good as the Smackdown one.  Miz is emotional over the win.  He cuts a promo about this being his moment and him being awesome.

The Criss Angel: Mindfreak commercial airs again.

SummerSlam hype video.

John Cena/Sheamus video package.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Sheamus tries to ram Cena’s head into the cage, but fails.  Sheamus pounds on Cena and finally succeeds in ramming his head into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Cena tackles Sheamus and pounds on him.  Sheamus catches Cena with an elbow smash.  Sheamus beats up Cena some more and grinds his face into the cage.  Cena hits his whack Fisherman buster.  They trade punches.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Sheamus ducks him and sends him into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus hits the reverse DDT backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus tries to climb out of the cage, but Sheamus cuts him off.  They fight on the top rope.  Cena hits a superplex for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus counters into a DDT for 2.  Sheamus hits the Polish hammer for 2.  Repeat.  Cena ducks a third attempt and fights back, but Sheamus locks in a sleeper hold.  Cena suffers for a bit, then stands  up and starts climbing the cage with Sheamus on his back.  Sheamus lets go and pulls Cena down.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus knees Cena in the face, then chokes him with his boot.  Sheamus climbs the cage.  Cena pulls him down.  Cena makes his standard comeback.  He goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus grabs the cage and starts climbing.  Cena rams Sheamus’ head into the cage to send him crashing to the mat.  Cena is cut, but it’s not bleeding.  It must be an old cut.  He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle off of the top, but Sheamus moves to avoid it.  Sheamus ties up Cena in the ropes and pounds on him.  Sheamus climbs over Cena.  Cena breaks free and stops Sheamus from escaping.  Cena hits a bulldog off the top rope for 2.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker, then nails Sheamus with the pump kick for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment out of nowhere for 2.  The Nexus come out.  Michael Tarver has bolt cutters.  A referee takes them and runs away.  The Nexus demand the key to the door, but Jack Doan throws it into the crowd.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again, but Sheamus counters and sends Cena into the ref.  The ref is dead from a shot that wouldn’t put down a grandmother for more than a few seconds.  Cena locks in the STF.  Sheamus taps, but the ref is dead.  Cena tries to escape, but members of the Nexus climb up to meet him.  Cena sends Justin Gabriel to the mat.  The Nexus members stop Cena from escaping.  Sheamus climbs up the other side, nails Heath Slater, and drops the floor to win it in 23:01.  The match was fine, but not especially exciting.  Sheamus runs out through the crowd.  Cena is pissed.  He throws Darren Young into the cage, then nails Tarver with a three point clothesline.  I guess the rest of the Nexus ran after Sheamus.  Cena nails Tarver with the ring steps.  He yells “I told you I’d take every one of you out!”  Cena takes Tarver’s armband and leaves.

Pretty good show altogether.  The ladder matches were great, and aside from the shitty women’s matches, nothing on the show was bad.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 7/16/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Will Jack Swagger have an alibi?  TONIGHT!

Unless my video just picks up late, there’s no open or pyro or ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  They show clips of the Battle Royal on NXT where both of these guys got fucked up.  They trade arm locks and do a nice bit of wrestling.  Kingston tries the drop down, leap frog, something or other, but Rhodes knocks him down and beats him up in the corner.  Kofi hits corner punches in the opposite corner.  Rhodes pulls Kofi down into the turnbuckles.  Rhodes front suplexes Kofi into the top rope, then knocks him to the floor with a knee lift.  Insta-commercials.  Rhodes has Kofi in an abdominal stretch.  Rhodes hits a side Russian leg sweep and a knee drop for 2, then goes back to the abdominal stretch.  Kofi hits a rana from the ground and starts fighting back.  Kofi hits a half assed spinebuster and grounds and pounds Rhodes.  Rhodes hits a diving bulldog headlock for 2.  Kofi hits the corner kick and heads up top.  Rhodes cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Kofi fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  Kane comes out and chokeslams both of them.  I guess it’s a no-contest (about 7 minutes shown).  I saw the ref call for the bell, but the stupid timekeeper didn’t bother to ring it.  Kane says he will bludgeon Jack Swagger tonight.  Kind of a mediocre match, even before the lame finish.

Tonight, Christian vs. Drew McIntyre and Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Grisham and Striker talk about Rey Mysterio’s condition.  They show Jack Swagger fucking up Mysterio’s ankle repeatedly in the last 2 weeks.

World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio is getting his ankle put in a brace by the trainer.  The trainer leaves and Rey looks at his belt.  Josh Matthews comes in to interview him.  Mysterio says he’ll be there on Sunday.

Jack Swagger talks to somebody on the phone.  Somebody who is on their way to the arena, apparently.

Louisville, Kentucky!

Highlights of Edge winning Money In The Bank in 2005 and cashing it in to win the WWE Championship from John Cena.

Drew McIntyre vs. Christian.  McIntyre goes on the attack.  Christian slides out of the ring, slides back in to avoids McIntyre, and tries to kick him.  They fight on the apron.  Christian knocks McIntyre to the floor with a corner kick and hits him with a dive from the top rope.  McIntyre pulls Christian’s back against the top rope.  Cover gets 2.  McIntyre beats on Christian.  That annoying ref who gets in the fucking way is in there.  Christian goes for a tornado DDT, but McIntyre knocks him to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre covers Christian for 2, then applies a shoulder hold.  McIntyre powers Christian into the corner.  Christian hits a tornado DDT for 2.  Christian hits the reverse DDT for 2.  Christian hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Christian hits a drop toe hold and dives off the middle rope, but McIntyre catches him with a boot for 2.  McIntyre catapults Christian into the corner.  Christian tries to go up top, but gets cut off.  McIntyre tries a Spider German, but Christian knocks him off and hits the diving sunset flip for 2.  McIntyre hits an over the knee neckbreaker for 2.  Christian hits a diving European uppercut and goes for the Killswitch, but McIntyre counters and goes for the Future Shock.  Counter again.  McIntyre blocks the Killswitch again and thumbs Christian in the eye.  McIntyre hits the Future Shock for the pin (8:17 shown).  Okay match.

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Highlights of CM Punk winning the 2009 Money In The Bank Ladder Match and cashing it in to win the World Title from Jeff Hardy.

The Straight Edge Society are in the ring.  Punk cuts his usual promo.  Big Show comes out with a normal ladder and a step ladder.  Punk keeps babbling as Show sets up the ladder.  Show talks about the SES being boring.  Punk makes fun of Show for being fat, then the SES steps out of the ring.  Punk challenges Show to climb the ladder.  The second rung of the ladder breaks as soon as Show steps on it.  He teases using a step ladder, then thinks better of it.  He talks about how hard it is to be a giant, because he breaks shit.  He has some guys bring out a special reinforced ladder.  He says the ladder weighs 350 lbs and has a 2000 lb. weight limit.  Punk says if he wasn’t injured, he would win Money In The Bank again.  Luke Gallows and the masked guy jump Show from behind and kick his ass.  Punk climbs Show’s ladder and yells that he’s better than you.  Show wakes up and disposes of Gallows and the masked man.  Show climbs the ladder and grabs Punk.  He pulls Punk’s mask off, exposing his bald head for the world to see.  You’d think more of his hair would have grown back after 2 months.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

Jack Swagger is on the phone again.  Whoever he’s talking to apparently has his evidence.

Trent Barreta & WWE Women’s Champion Layla (w/ Caylen Croft) vs. Chris Masters & Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany).  Kelly slaps Layla around.  Layla comes back and puts Kelly in a backbeaker hold.  Rosa Mendez jumps rope to ringside.  Barreta and Croft swing the rope for her.  This distracts Layla.  Masters nails the Dudebusters.  Kelly hits the Fameasser on Layla for the pin in 1:35.  This was dumb.  Rosa realizes she fucked up and jumps rope to the back.

“Money” is the song for Money In The Bank.  Like anyone gives a fuck.

Cole and Grisham hype the Money In The Bank card.

Matt Hardy comes out.  He says he’ll win Money In The Bank and cash it in that night.  He’s in action NEXT!

Another Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler takes Hardy to the mat immediately and tries to wrestle him into a hold.  Hardy fights back and clamps on a side headlock.  Hardy beats up Ziggler.  Ziggler comes off the top, but gets caught with a punch in the mid-section.  Hardy clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring.  Ziggler sends Hardy into the barricade.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows on Hardy for 2.  Hardy goes for a sunset flip, but Ziggler blocks it.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  Hardy fights back.  Hardy hits a flapjack for 2.  Hardy hits a diving elbow to the back for 2.  Ziggler goes for a rana, but Hardy powerbombs him for 2.  Hardy goes for a moonsault, but Ziggler rolls out of the way.  Ziggler gets a cradle for 2.  Hardy hits the Side Effect, but Ziggler gets the tip of his finger on the bottom rope.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold.  Hardy sends Ziggler into the middle turnbuckle to escape it.  Vickie gets on the apron.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Ziggler pushes him almost into Vickie.  Hardy stops from colliding with her, but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin (7:40 shown).  Okay match.

Earlier tonight, Kane promised to fuck Jack Swagger’s shit up.

A limo arrives carrying some guy with a package.  Swagger gives to package to some production geek to play.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Jack Swagger comes out with the guy, who is apparently his daddy, Mr. Swagger.  Swagger says he was with his daddy when Undertaker got turned into a carrot.  They show pictures of Swagger and his daddy working out, fishing, and eating chicken wings.  Kane comes out and says he doesn’t believe Swagger.  They show pictures of Swagger and daddy running a 5K.  This fails to convince Kane.  Kane goozles Swagger.  Mr. Swagger begs Kane not to hurt his son.  Swagger decks Kane and puts him in the ankle lock.  Rey Mysterio hobbles out and hits the 619 on Swagger.  Kane goozles the Swaggers.  Jack escapes, but Daddy Swagger gets chokeslammed and Tombstoned while Jack just leaves.

Lame show.  If you didn’t catch it, you didn’t miss anything.