Archive for The Undertaker

WWE Superstars 3/31/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barreta.  Hawkins grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Barreta does drop down, leap frog, elbow smash.  Cover gets 2.  Hawkins backs Barreta into the corner and slaps him.  Barreta gets pissed and fires back.  Hawkins slides under the ropes and trips Barreta in the process, then pulls him to the floor.  Back inside, Hawkins puts a beating on Barreta.  Barreta tries to rally, beat eats a clothesline.  Cover gets 2.  Barreta fights out of a hold, flips out of a backdrop suplex, and hits Hawkins with an enzuigiri.  Hawkins falls to the floor.  Barreta hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Back inside, Barreta hits a springboard dropkick for 2.  Hawkins counters the tornado DDT and hits a body slam for 2.  Barreta counters a move and hits the tornado DDT for the pin in 5:20.  Fine little match.

Tonight, six-woman tag match.  Ugh.

WWE.com plug.

Josh Matthews and Scott Stanford are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Awesome Undertaker/Triple H hype video.

Snooki hype video leading to the horrible Snooki & Trish/LayCool bar fight from Raw.

Edge/Alberto Del Rio hype video.

WWE Champion The Miz on Conan O’Brian.

Raw Rebound.

Divas tag match next.  Ugh again.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Melina & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Natalya, & Gail Kim.  One of the Bellas beats up Natalya.  Natalya hits a snap suplex and a basement dropkick for 2.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but the Bella reaches the ropes.  Natalya pulls her up and down for 2.  Melina tags in and gets slammed by Natalya.  Gail tags in.  Natalya throws her on top of Melina for 2.  Melina misses the splits and eats a basement dropkick.  Gail beats up Melina for a bit.  Gail tries to springboard, but Melina pulls her down across the top rope.  Gail gets caught in the heel corner and they get the heat on her.  Melina goes for the Code Red, but Gail counters it.  Gail plants Melina with a powerbomb.  Eve gets the hot tag and runs wild until Melina low bridges her out of the ring.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Bellas pull the switcheroo.  Eve goes for her neckbreaker drop, but the Bella hits her with an X Factor for the pin in 6:24.  There ya go.

The opener was fun, at least.

Advertisements

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/28/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

CM Punk is sitting Indian style in the ring.  We’re LIVE from Chicago.  He cuts a promo about Randy Orton.  He blames the New Nexus for their own misfortunes.  They show Punk’s attack on Orton at Orton’s bus last week.  He says he’ll close this chapter at Mania.  Randy Orton limps out with his knee taped up.  They brawl.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat despite his injured knee.  Orton goes for the punt, but his knee gives out and Punk escapes.  He realizes that this would be a good time to take advantage of a wounded opponent and returns to the ring to taunt him, then kicks him in the injured knee.  Punk delivers the Go 2 Sleep.

Tonight, The Undertaker and Triple H will face off!  So will John Cena, The Miz, and The Rock.

Edge and Christian meet up backstage.  Edge talks about the stupidity of Teddy Long saying he can’t touch Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown, but the iBooker says he can.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio from Smackdown.

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio & Brodus Clay.  Del Rio & Clay are of course introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.  Edge and Clay start.  Clay is awesome at beating and being beaten.  Edge and Christian make quick tags and try to work Clay’s arm over.  They bundle him out of the ring and Christian gos for a dive.  Clay catches him, but Edge knocks him down with a baseball slide dropkick.  Commercials.  Del Rio works Christian’s arm, having gained the advantage during the break.  Del Rio and Clay keep the heat going on Christian.  Edge gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Edge goes for the spear on Clay, but Del Rio trips him from the outside.  Christian attacks Del Rio, who whips him into the barricade.  Edge spears Clay for the pin in 8:15.  The match was fine.  Del Rio puts Christian in the cross armbreaker in the aisle.  Edge chases Del Rio out of the building.  Edge goes back to check on Christian.  Del Rio attacks him from behind and puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Trish Stratus and Snooki are in a bar in New Jersey.  Commercials.

Sin Cara vignette.

Chicago!

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are backstage with an upside down WWE logo.

The iBooker dings in.  Lawler believes this will be a good chance to fuck with Cole, but Cole, who routinely leaves the Cole Mine, now stays securely inside and reads the e-mail from his iPad.  Cole announcers Lawler vs. Jack Swagger for tonight.

Awesome Undertaker/Triple H hype video.  They’ll face off tonight!  Commercials!

WrestleMania Week events list.

WWE Tag Team Champion Justin Gabriel (w/ WWE Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett, WWE Tag Team Champion Heath Slater, & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Santino Marella (w/ The Big Show, Kane, Vladimir Kozlov, & Tamina).  These guys will have an 8-man tag at Mania.  They lock up and wrestle a bit.  Slater distracts Santino.  Gabriel lands a spin kick for 2.  Gabriel cranks on Santino’s arm.  Santino throws him off and makes his comeback.  Santino frighters Slater with the Cobra.  Kane decks Slater.  Kozlov trips Gabriel behind the referee’s back.  Show and Kane take out the rest of the Corre at ringside.  Santino hits the Cobra for the pin in 1:52.  There ya go.  All of the babyfaces celebrate jovially.

Plug for WWE All Stars, a very silly looking game.

Triple H is headed our way!  Commercials.

Keri Hilson will perform America The Beautiful at WrestleMania.  Never heard of her.

The Undertaker comes out.  So does Triple H.  So does Shawn Michaels.  Michaels apologizes for interrupting, then proceeds to hype up the match.  Michaels is mad that Triple H thinks he can do what Michaels couldn’t.  Triple H says Michaels has gone soft.  He talks about Undertaker’s dedication and says that’s why he chose to pattern himself after Taker.  Triple H has this really great bit about how he and Shawn made a pact to tell each other when it was time to leave, and now he’s telling Taker it’s time for him to leave out of respect.  Taker says if he ever needed someone to put him down, he’d want it to be Triple H, but it’s not time for that yet.  He says he and the streak will both survive Mania.  Taker talks about how Michaels failed twice despite his greatness and that is now humbled.  He sort of shoves Michaels.  Michaels goes for the superkick.  Undertaker catches it and goes for the chokeslam.  Triple H breaks it up and stares down Taker.  He tells Shawn to tell Taker why he will beat him at Mania.  Shawn leaves instead.  Triple H calls out to him.  Shawn looks back and says “You can’t win.”  Taker tips his hat to Triple H and leaves.  Fucking great segment.

Tonight a face off between Cena, Rock, and Miz that won’t be in the same universe as the one we just saw.  Commercials.

Jack Swagger (w/ Michael Cole) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  Lawler comes out to new music that sucks compared to the music he’s always used in WWE.  Cole gets on the apron.  Lawler lunges for him.  Swagger jumps Cole and beats him up.  Swagger sends Lawler outside and throws him over the barricade so he can pose uninterrupted.  Lawler clocks Swagger with a chair to cause the DQ in 1:16, then several more times to boot.  He goes after Cole, who hides in the Cole Mine, so Lawler hits the Cole Mine, then tries to climb into it.  He’s held back by Cole’s security.  Cole throws liquid on him, then talks shit from the safety of his box.

Tonight, Cena/Rock/Miz stuff.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: John Morrison & Trish Stratus vs. Dolph Ziggler, LayCool, & Vickie Guerrero from last week, where Morrison did the job for Vickie Guerrero.  Yes.  That happened.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be obnoxious and do John Morrison poses.  I fast forward through her screaming with her nails on a chalkboard voice.

WWE United States Champion Sheamus & Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. John Morrison & Daniel Bryan.  Sheamus beats up Morrison.  One of Morrison’s best roles is getting his ass kicked by Sheamus.  Morrison decks Ziggler on the apron.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2.  Commercials.  Morrison continues playing face in peril.  Bryan tags in and locks Ziggler in the LeBell Lock.  Sheamus kicks Bryan in the back of the head, then tags in and kills Bryan with a Polish Hammer.  Morrison saves.  Ziggler accosts Morrison and gets dropped with a Pele Kick.  Sheamus sends Morrison outside.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock.  Sheamus counters, then avoids Bryan in the corner and hits the Razor’s Edge for the pin in 6:15.  What the showed of it was pretty fun.

Earlier tonight, stuff went down between Randy Orton and CM Punk.

Randy Orton ices his injured knee backstage.  Scott Stanford asks him if he’ll make it to Mania.  He says he’ll make it there, but Punk won’t make it out.

Tonight, Cena/Rock/Miz stuff.  Commercials.

Chicago!

New Hall of Fame inductee: The Road Warriors!

Trish Stratus and Snooki TAPED via satellite.  Pretty sure Snooki is drunk.  Some Jersey tard hits on them.  Snooki slaps him.  LayCool show up.  Snooki throws a drink in Layla.  They brawl.

Cena/Rock/Miz next.  Commercials.

The Rock comes out.  He talks about how his first WrestleMania match was in this building.  He goes on with his promo, the highlight of which is when he calls John Cena “a homeless Power Ranger.”  Cena comes out and talks to Rock for a while.  They get mad at each other and act like they’re gonna fight.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz babbles for a while.  Rock says it doesn’t matter what Miz thinks.  Miz and Riley jump The Rock.  Cena has disappeared.  Rock makes his own comeback, knocks Riley out of the ring, and DDTs Miz and gives him the People’s Elbow, then throws him out of the ring.  Cena comes back in and gives Rock the Attitude Adjustment.

Pretty good go-home show, I thought.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/7/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, recap of last week’s happenings.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

The Undertaker comes to the ring and talks about his match with Triple H at WrestleMania.  They show a very cool video package of the 2 Undertaker/Shawn Michaels WrestleMania match.  He wants the match at Mania to be No Holds Barred, because apparently someone is going to die.  He says Triple H will “rest in peace” at WrestleMania.

Tonight, John Cena talks shit about The Rock!  Stone Cold Steve Austin returns to Raw!

Randy Orton brawls with the three remaining members of the New Nexus backstage.  Nexus get the better of it since it’s 3-on-1.  Punk sends Orton’s head into a wall repeatedly, then delivers the Go 2 Sleep.  Punk orders Otunga and Ryan to drag Orton to the ring.  Commercials.

The New Nexus are beating down Randy Orton in the ring.  Referees come out to break it up.  Otunga wants his match with Orton.  Orton drags himself up and agrees.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga.  Otunga beats on Orton.  Otunga hits a fancy elbow drop for 2.  Orton hits a body slam for 2.  Otunga hits a spinebuster for 2.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere for the pin 1:59.  Otunga is banned from ringside at WrestleMania too.  Mason Ryan attacks Orton and drops him with a big boot.  He picks Orton up and gets dropped with an RKO.  CM Punk tries to hit the ring, but Orton scares him away, then punts Otunga in the head, then humps the mat.

Tonight, Cole reveals his special guest referee for WrestleMania.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: John Cena overpowering The Miz to defeat Alex Riley in a Steel Cage Match last week, then getting dropped with the Skull Crushing Finale.

Dallas!

The Miz is apparently boycotting Raw tonight.

Christian and Alberto Del Rio (w/ Brodus Clay and introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez) come out for a match.  I have know idea why this happening on Raw, since they’re both Smackdown guys.  Del Rio sends his NXT rookie Brodus Clay to wrestle Christian instead.

Christian vs. Brodus Clay (w/ Alberto Del Rio).  Clay is a big fat dude.  He shoves Christian down and steps on his back.  Clay blocks the Killswitch and drops Christian with a punch.  Christian tries to fight back and gets dropped with a headbutt.  Clay huts some elbow drops for 2.  Clay cranks on Christian’s previously injured arm, then hits a fall away slam.  Christian avoids a big splash and hits an ineffective missile dropkick.  A second missile dropkick drops Clay.  Cover gets 2.  Clay hits a lariat for 2.  Christian avoids a powerslam and hits a tornado DDT for the pin in 2:41.  Good little match.  I rather like this Brodus Clay fellow.  Del Rio immediately attacks Christian.  Christian fights back.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special.

Replay of The Rock’s live via satellite promo from last week.  Cena responds tonight!

Also tonight, Stone Cold returns!  Commercials.

Sin Cara vignette.

Newest Hall of Fame inductee is… Sunny!

Divas title match next.  Commercials!

WWE Rewind: One of the Bellas won a Battle Royal last week.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Eve Torres (c) (w/ Gail Kim) vs. Nikki Bella (w/ Brie Bella).  They lock up.  Eve throws Nikki across the ring, then rams her face into the turnbuckle, then throws her around some more.  Cover gets 2.  Nikki beats up Eve and throws her around.  Cover gets 2.  Nikki works the hair, of course.  Michael Cole shouts for them to get this over with, and for once I agree with the turd.  Cole babbles on and on and says “I’m the main event” 7,000 times.  Eve hits a flash kick.  The Bellas pull the switcheroo.  The referee catches them.  Eve throws Nikki back in and hits a neckbreaker drop for the pin in 3:07 to mercifully end this.  Cole reveals his referee next.  Commercials.

Snooki from Jersey Shore will be here next week.  UGH.  WWE, if you’re going to rip off TNA, rip off SOMETHING THAT ISN’T COMPLETELY FUCKING HORRIBLE AND MAKES ME WANT TO PUT A BULLET IN MY FUCKING HEAD.

Last week, Jack Swagger fucked Lawler’s ankle up while Cole humped the mat in joy.

Michael Cole is in the ring being a cocksucker.  He has a contract of the referee to sign.  Cole spazzes out for a while, then talks about his referee.  He fakes like it’s going to be Steve Austin, then introduces John Bradshaw Layfield!  I fully expected something stupid like Alex Riley, but JBL is pretty cool.  JBL shit talks the crowd, then puts over Cole.  Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out.  JBL and Cole bitch at him.  Cole hides behind JBL, of course.  Austin stuns JBL.  Cole scampers out of the ring.  Austin drinks beer.  Cole all but cries on commentary.  Austin pours beer on JBL, then signs the contract to become the referee for Lawler/Cole at Mania.  By this point, I think Cole IS crying.  Austin shakes Cole’s hand, then pours beer on him.  Yay!  Austin sarcastically wishes Cole good luck.  JBL gets  up.  Austin gives him a beer, toasts him, then stuns him again.  Yay again!  Jack Swagger comes out to watch Cole throw a temper tantrum.  This segment was awesome.

Another replay of Rock’s promo from last week.  Tonight, Cena talks shit back.  Commercials.

Michael Cole whines to Jack Swagger backstage.  Swagger says he’ll break Austin’s ankle.  Cole goes to take a shower.

Jerry Lawler, having been missing all show for no apparent reason, comes out to join Matthews for commentary.  They show Austin signing the contract and pouring beer on Cole again.  That never gets old.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. King Sheamus.  They show Sheamus getting beaten up by Triple H and losing to Evan Bourne last week.  Sheamus attacks Bryan and stomps him down in the corner.  Sheamus hits the Polish Hammer for 2.  Bryan dropkicks Sheamus to the apron, then dropkicks him off the apron.  Sheamus sells a leg injury and gets counted out in 1:12.  Sheamus throws a fit.  Well this was lame.  Sheamus says he’ll end his losing streak next week.  He challenges Bryan to put up the title against Sheamus’ job.  Bryan accepts.

Up next, Shawn Michaels speaks SOME MORE about Undertaker/Triple H.  Commercials.

CM Punk (w/ Mason Ryan) vs. R-Truth.  Truth gets a schoolboy for 2.  Punk throws Truth into 3 posts.  Truth tries to fight back, but Punk stomps him down.  Punk hits a snapmare for 2, then works Truth’s shoulder.  Truth makes his comeback.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but Truth counters and hits a jumping kick for 2.  Punk pulls Truth’s arm across the top rope, then takes him down, pounds the shoulder, and locks in the Anaconda Vice for the submission in 2:32.  Ryan gives Truth a powerslam afer the match.

More video of Shawn Michaels talking about the Undertaker/Triple H WrestleMania match.

Vickie Guerrero comes out.  Joy.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Snooki next week.  Kill me now.

Vickie Guerrero is in the ring being obnoxious.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler, who has been signed to Raw.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. John Morrison.  Vickie on commentary.  Ugh.  They lock up.  Ziggler gets a headlock and a shoulder block.  Morrison goes for a leap frog, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee.  Commercials.  Ziggler works a headlock.  Morrison avoids Ziggler in the corner and makes his comeback.  Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive for 2, as Ziggler gets a foot on the rope.  Ziggler rakes Morrison’s face and hits the Zig Zag for the pin in 5:33.  The less than half they showed of it was fine.  Vickie gets in the ring to celebrate.  iBooker dings in.  Lawler reads that Ziggler has been hired, but Vickie hasn’t.  Vickie will have to win her match next week against… Trish Stratus.  Security comes out to take Vickie out.  She’s pissed that Dolph doesn’t help her.

Another replay of Rock’s promo.  Cena responds next.  Commercials.

Dallas.

Yet another Rock reply.

John Cena comes out, talks for a bit, then raps about The Rock not actually showing up to do his shit talking.  He reveals a parody of The Rock’s shirt that says “I bring it via satellite.”  WWE Champion The Miz appears and clocks Cena with the title belt.  Twice.  Miz cuts a promo on Cena, then stares at the camera to talk shit to The Rock.  Miz gives Cena the Skull Crushing Finale, then the People’s Elbow.

Besides the Christian match and the Austin segment, I pretty much hated this show.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/4/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of last week’s happenings.  Tonight, the contract signing for Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio at WrestleMania!

Smackdown open.  We are TAPED from Cleveland, Ohio.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, The Undertaker returns to Smackdown!

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out to cut a promo.  He talks about Alberto Del Rio.  He talks about how happy he is to be rid of Vickie Guerrero.  Drew McIntyre hits the ring and brawls with Edge.  Edge sends him to the floor.  Teddy Long comes out and thanks McIntyre for losing, causing Vickie to be fired.  He books Edge vs. McIntyre for right now.  Edge gets the crowd to chant “Thank you, Drew.”  Commercials.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Drew McIntyre.  Edge goes on the attack.  McIntyre gets the advantage and beats up Edge.  McIntyre works Edge’s injured arm.  McIntyre drops Edge with a big boot and sends him to the floor, then rams the injured arm into the announce table.  McIntyre yells that he’s going to end Edge’s career.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  McIntyre rips the tape off of Edge’s injured elbow and further abuses it.  Edge back body drops McIntyre on the floor.  Back inside, Edge goes up top and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge hits the spear, then pulls McIntyre up at 2.  Edge locks in the Edgeucator for the submission in 5:20.  Fine little match.

Tonight, Big Show vs. Kane!  The Undertaker!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

Cody Rhodes comes out to Rey Mysterio’s music wearing the mask he stole last week.  They show the ambush Cody and Dusty Rhodes set up against Mysterio last week.  Rhodes cuts a good promo and challenges Mysterio to a match at WrestleMania.

Kane encounters The Corre backstage.  They offer their help against Show tonight.

The Corre defend the tag titles against Santino & Kozlov NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of The Corre (w/ Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Santino and Gabriel dance around, then lock up.  Santino throws Gabriel around.  Kozlov tags in and goes maulin’.  Santino and Kozlov clear the ring.  Commercials.  Kozlov has Slater in a headlock.  That’s odd.  The Corre cut Kozlov off.  Barrett gets in a cheap shot.  The Corre get the heat on Kozlov.  Santino gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Barrett gets on the ring and takes the bullet.  Slater hits Santino with a reverse DDT for the pin in 7:29.  Meh.  The Corre celebrate.

Christian returns next week!  They show the attack by Alberto Del Rio that injured him last year and Christian’s return attack on Del Rio at Elimination Chamber.

Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez are backstage.  Someone is painting a portrait of Del Rio.

Up next, The Undertaker!  Commercials!

They show Triple H’s promo on Undertaker from Raw.

The Undertaker comes out to “Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash, wish is an awesome choice for entrance music.  He talks about facing Triple H at WrestleMania.  Fine promo.

Tonight, the contract signing!  Kane vs. Show!  Commercials!

Cleveland!

Sin Cara is coming to WWE!

Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendez vs. Michelle McCool & Layla.  They show the bickering between LayCool last week.  Beth and McCool lock up.  Beth attacks McCool’s allegedly injured foot.  Rosa tags in and does the same.  Layla tags in.  Rosa throws her down some, then swings at McCool.  Layla beats up Rosa.  McCool tags in and shoves Layla, then beats up Rosa.  Layla and Beth tag in.  Beth runs wild and hits a powerslam.  McCool saves.  The referee gets distracted by Rosa.  McCool kicks Beth with her loaded boot for the pin in 2:19.  This sucked.

Next, Show vs. Kane, which will also suck.  Commercials.

The Big Show vs. Kane.  They show Show fighting off The Corre last week.  Kane and Show brawl.  Double clothesline spot.  The Corre come out.  Barrett throws Kane a chair.  Kane hits Show with it to cause the DQ in 1:14.  The Corre attack Show.  Kane hammers Gabriel with the chair.  The Corre bail.  At least this was short.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Replay of Shawn Michaels speaking on the Undertaker/Triple H match.

Jack Swagger comes out.  They show Swagger attacking Jerry Lawler on Raw.  Cole gets in the ring to babble for a while.  He hypes his mystery guest referee and insults Cleveland.  Commercials.

Jack Swagger vs. JTG.  Swagger takes JTG down and humps him or something.  Cole is babbling a mile a minute.  Matthews and Booker look like they want to die.  Swagger hits some Vader Bombs and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 1:06.  Cole is so excited he humps the announce table.  He gets in the ring to hug Swagger.  I imagine Cole will obey Swagger’s music and “get down on his knees” to suck Swagger’s cock.

Video of the Rock/John Cena shit talking.

Edge is talking backstage.  He defaces Del Rio’s portrait, then kicks the painter in the ass.  Commercials.

Teddy Long is in the ring for the contract signing.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio has Ricardo sing the Mexican National Anthem.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge interrupts.  They banter for a while and sign the contract.  Teddy scampers out of the ring just before Edge and Del Rio start brawling.  Edge hits the Edgecution and goes for the spear.  Ricardo grabs his leg.  Del Rio beats up Edge and puts him in the cross armbreaker for a moment, then throws him to the floor and sends his injured arm into the barricade.  Del Rio puts a chair around Edge’s arm.  Christian makes the save and kicks Del Rio’s ass.  Del Rio tries to run away, but Christian chases him down and kicks his ass some more.  Referees break it up.

Okayish show.

WWE Superstars 3/3/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are the first announcers.  They promise more replays from Raw.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

R-Truth vs. William Regal.  Hell yes!  They lock up and do some pimp chain wrestling for a second.  Truth hits a flying headscissors and a side headlock takeover.  They work the headlock a bit in a spot that I love.  Truth dances and kicks Regal in the face for 2.  Truth goes back to a headlock.  Regal gets his chance and set out to maul a fucker.  Regal hits a knee drop, then pounds on Truth’s face, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Truth fights out.  Regal hits an Exploder and an elbow drop for 2.  Regal applies a chin lock again.  Truth fights out again and makes his comeback.  Regal dodges the Lie Detector and goes for a Butterfly Suplex, but Truth counters and hits the What’s Up for the pin in 4:24.  Fun match.

Tonight, Santino & Kozlov vs. Ryder & Primo again.

WWE.com plug.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina) vs. Zack Ryder & Primo.  Primo and Santino do a bit of back and forth wrestling, complete the stalemate and applause!  Santino scares Primo out of the ring with the Cobra.  Ryder tags in and beats up Santino.  Santino hits an STO and tags in Kozlov.  Santino and Kozlov takes turns beating on Kozlov.  Kozlov throws Ryder to the floor.  Santino scares Primo with the Cobra again, and Kozlov sends him to the floor as well.  Insta-commercials.  Primo tries to beat up Kozlov, but Kozlov catches a cross body and hits a fall away slam.  Primo avoids Kozlov in the corner and tags in Ryder.  Ryder hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Primo tags in and keeps the heat going on Kozlov.  Santino and Ryder tag in.  Santino runs wild and hits the falling headbutt for 2.  Primo saves.  Kozlov sends Primo out.  Ryder sends Kozlov out.  Primo dodges the Rough Ryder and hits the Cobra for the pin in (6:00 shown).  Fun little match.

Tonight, replay of The Rock’s promo from Raw!  Aren’t you excited?

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.  Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Replay of Shawn Michaels speaking on the Undertaker/Triple H WrestleMania match.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Sin Cara is coming to WWE!

Curt Hawkins vs. Chris Masters.  They lock up.  Masters throws Hawkins across the ring, then chops the crap out of him.  Hawkins hits a jawbreaker, then trips Masters and causes him to face plant.  Hawkins beats on Masters.  Hawkins hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Hawkins applies a body scissors.  Masters stands up with Hawkins on his back and rams him into the post, then catches a dropkick and catapults Hawkins into the turnbuckles.  Masters makes his comeback and hits a diving shoulder block for 2.  Masters locks in the Master Lock for the win in 3:21.  It was fine.  Tyler Reks appears and attacks Masters.  Reks delivers his Burning Hammer.

Up next, replay from Raw!

The main event of Superstars is replays of the war of words between John Cena and The Rock.  That’s pretty lame.

The wrestling was pretty solid this week.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/25/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, recap of last week’s happenings.

Teddy Long books Drew McIntyre & Vickie Guerrero vs. Edge & Kelly Kelly tonight, with Vickie being fired if her team loses.

Smackdown open.  Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kane.  Kane beats up Mysterio and hits a basement kick for 2.  Mysterio tries to do a headscissors, but Kane counters and hits an Oklahoma Stampede for 2.  Kane applies a body scissors.  Mysterio fights out… and runs into a tilt a whirl backbreaker.  Kane covers for 2.  Mysterio finally rallies and goes for the 619.  Kane bails.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Kane avoids a dive off the apron and mows Mysterio down with a big boot.  Insta-commercials.  Kane hits a backbreaker.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits some elbow drops for 2.  Kane applies a bear hug.  Mysterio fights out.  Kane bear hugs him again and rams him into the corner.  Kane tries to set up a superplex, but Mysterio fights him off and hits the diving seated senton.  Mysterio makes his comeback and hits a buzzsaw kick for 2.  Mysterio comes off the top, but is met with a uppercut from Kane.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio avoids the diving lariat, then counters the chokeslam and hits the 619.  Mysterio comes off the top again, but Kane catches him.  Mysterio turns it into a sunset flip for the pin (7:32 shown).  Boring match, but a fun closing stretch.  DUSTY RHODES comes out to the ring!  Mysterio is happy to see him.  They hug.  Insta-commercials.

Dusty Rhodes and Rey Mysterio are still in the ring.  Dusty apologizes for his son being a little bitch.  He calls out Cody to apologize himself.  Cody Rhodes comes out in a suit and a face mask.  He whines about Mysterio breaking his face.  Dusty talks about Cody losing focus.  It takes a while, because Dusty speaks with a slow, southern drawl.  He urges Cody to “make this right” and apologize.  Cody apologizes to his dad and Mysterio.  He and Mysterio shake hands.  Dusty and Mysterio hug again, the Dusty holds Mysterio so Cody can jump him.  A dastardly act of treason from the Dream!  Cody destroys Mysterio and smashes his face into stuff, then throws him into his Tron mirror and breaks it.  Cody steals Mysterio’s mask.  Referees cover Mysterio’s face with a towel, lucha-style.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Dusty and Cody Rhodes hug backstage.

Rosa Mendez vs. Layla (w/ Michelle McCool).  No entrances.  McCool is doing commentary.  Rosa shakes Layla’s head.  They do some shit and take a bump to the floor.  Rosa hits McCool.  McCool atacks Rosa to cause the DQ in 1:24.  Fucking pointless.  Layla is pissed at being screwed out of the win.  LayCool bicker, then leave together.  Ugh.

Tonight, Edge & Kelly vs. McIntyre & Vickie.

Tonight, a replay of John Cena’s promo from Raw.

Non-Title: Jack Swagger vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  Ugh, this match again.  They show the brawl between Kingston and Alberto Del Rio on Raw.  Swagger goes after Kofi’s injured arm.  Swagger hits a shoulder block for 2.  Kofi beats up Swagger in the corner.  The referee gets in the way.  Kofi keeps rolling and hits the Boom Drop.  Swagger attacks the arm again, then rams Kofi’s ankle into the post.  Kofi misses a kick.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:45.  At least it was short this time.

Vickie Guerrero knocks on Teddy Long’s door.  She begs the door to reconsider.  The door is unresponsive.

Next, time wasted with Raw replays!

They replay John Cena’s promo from Raw.

Vickie Guerrero begs Chavo Guerrero Jr. for help.  Chavo’s sick of her shit too.

Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show.  The Corre are banned from ringside.  I think Show managed to hit Michael Cole with his ring jacket, which is awesome.  Show beats up Barrett.  Barrett jumps on Show’s back and applies a sleeper hold.  Show fades, but makes it to the ropes.  Barrett puts the boots to him.  Insta-commercials.  Barrett continues pounding on Show.  Show tries to come back, but Barrett dropkicks his knee and hits that sweet short DDT for 2.  Show throws Barrett out of the ring on the kick out.  Barrett comes back in and is thrown out again.  Barrett sends Show’s head into the post and goes back into the ring.  Show pulls him out, which should have started the count, and goes back in to win by count-out in 3:58.  The Corre come out to save Barrett from farther punishment and go after Show.  Show gets a steel chair to even the score and manages to crack Gabriel with it.  He’s sick of their shit.

Tonight, Edge & Kelly vs. McIntyre & Vickie.

Up next, a replay of the Undertaker/Triple H segment from Raw.

As threatened, they kill some time replaying the Undertaker/Triple H segment from Raw, this time with a fancy voice over.

The main event is NEXT!

Drew McIntyre & Vickie Guerrero vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Kelly Kelly.  Kelly insists on starting with Vickie.  Joy.  Vickie tries a kick, but Kelly trips her and beats on her.  Vickie scampers away to make the tag.  McIntyre yells at Kelly.  Edge beats up McIntyre.  McIntyre beats up Edge.  Edge beats up McIntyre.  Vickie slaps Edge from the apron.  McIntyre boots Edge in the face and goes for the Future Shock.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes for the spear.  Vickie begs him not to.  Kelly spears Vickie.  Edge spears McIntyre for the pin in 5:36.  Teddy Long comes out and dances.  Insta-commercials.

Teddy Long, Edge, and Vickie Guerrero are in the ring.  Vickie pleads and screams for her job.  Teddy fires her anyway.  YAY!  She whines to Booker T, who laughs at her.  She hugs Michael Cole for comfort.  Cole promises to do what he can for her.  She begs the camera man for help.  She begs Edge for help.  He sings the goodbye song instead.  Heh.  She screams in anger.  Alberto Del Rio appears and attacks Edge!  Del Rio applies the dreaded cross ambreaker!  Del Rio stands tall as the show ends.

Pretty shitty show.  I would enjoy Vickie getting fired more if I wasn’t 1,247,000% sure she’ll be back making my ear drums bleed.

WWE Superstars 2/24/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 5, 2011 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Tonight, Daniel Bryan takes on Ted Dibiase Jr.!  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Corre vs. JTG & Trent Barreta.  JTG and Barreta beat up Gabriel a bit.  Slater tags in and gets the advantage.  The Corre cut off Barreta and get the heat on him.  JTG gets the hot tag and runs wild on Slater.  JTG hits the Mugshot.  Gabriel saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Gabriel kicks JTG from the outside.  Slater hits a reverse DDT for the pin in 4:08.  It was fine.

2/21/11 will be revealed tonight… again…

Tyler Reks vs. Chris Masters.  Jobber entrance for Masters, even though he beat Reks last week.  They brawl.  Reks gets the advantage and puts a beating on Masters.  Front suplex gets 2.  Reks applies a half crab.  Masters gets a rope break, then counters a suplex into an inside cradle for 2.  Masters hits a Samoan Drop and makes his comeback.  Reks kicks him in the head.  Masters counters a neckbreaker and hits a spinebuster for 2.  Reks goes for a superplex.  Masters fights him off and hits a diving shoulder block.  Masters locks in the Master Lock to win it 2 weeks in a row in 3:27.  Fine little match.

Tonight, Bryan vs. Dibiase!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Santino Marella (w/ Tamina) vs. Tyson Kidd.  They fuck around a bit.  Kidd hides in the ropes to protect himself from the Cobra.  Santino hits a shoulder block, then poses.  Kidd grabs a headlock.  Santino leap frogs him, then trips him on the drop down.  Santino cranks on Kidd’s arm.  Kidd gets pissed at this silliness and beats up Santino.  Santino gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Santino hits his face on the turnbuckle when he’s kicked off.  Kidd avoids some wild punches and lands a forearm smash.  Kidd slaps Santino’s head a bunch.  Santino hulks up and makes his comeback.  Kidd hits a dropkick to the side of Santino’s head for 2.  Santino avoids the Superstar Elbow and hits the Cobra for the pin in 4:04.  This was silly.

2/21/11 revealed again next.

They waste 10 minutes replaying the Undertaker/Triple H segment from Raw.

The main event is NEXT!

They show Maryse blowing off Dibiase and kissing Yoshi Tatsu during the stupid kiss cam thing on Raw last week.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  They work a Greco-Roman knuckle lock and trade blows.  Bryan lands a flurry of kicks, then a shoulder block and a dropkick.  Bryan lands another kick for 2.  Dibiase beats on Bryan in the corner.  Bryan hits another dropkick for 2.  Bryan rocks a surfboard hold.  Dibiase breaks free.  Bryan lands on his feet from a backdrop suplex, then does a 360 bump for a clothesline.  Insta-commercials.  Bryan fights out of a rest hold.  Dibiase hits a backbreaker and a dropkick for 2.  Dibiase keeps the heat going.  Elbow smash gets 2.  Dibiase chokes Bryan in the corner with his boot.  Bryan back flips over Dibiase and makes his comeback.  Bryan hits a corner dropkick for 2.  Bryan counters the Dream Street into the Bret/Piper WrestleMania VIII pin (which I LOVE) for 2.  Bryan sends Dibiase outside and lands a tope suicida.  Back inside, Dibiase avoids a missile dropkick and goes for the Dream Street.  He can get it, but hits a half nelson suplex instead!  Cover gets 2.  Yoshi Tatsu comes out in a suit and presents Maryse with flowers, which distracts Dibiase.  Maryse declines Yoshi’s request for another kiss and slaps Dibiase with the flowers.  Bryan locks in the LeBell Lock for the win (7:30 shown).  Fine little match.

Pretty mediocre show with a fun main event.