Archive for The Dudebusters

WWE Monday Night Raw 10/18/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Smackdown GM Teddy Long comes out and says he’s taking over Raw tonight.  Cole immediately gets an email from the iBooker 9000 telling Long to get out of its ring.  Long has a referee bring out the Bragging Rights trophy that Smackdown won last year.  iBooker says “get out of my ring, or else.”  Long argues with Cole.  iBooker sends more emails.  Long says he’s disconnecting it.  YES!  Long introduces Team Smackdown: Captain Big Show, Edge, Alberto Del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, and Rey Mysterio Jr.  I’m still flabbergasted at the inclusion of Tyler Reks.  Raw Captain The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Cole mizzes in his pants.  Miz compares the Smackdown team to smurfs.  He introduces his team: CM Punk, John Morrison, Santino Marella (seriously), Ezekiel Jackson (Yay!  Zeke is back!), and Sheamus.  Miz tells Smackdown to leave or they’ll make them leave.  Team Raw hits the ring and they brawl.  Miz ends up bailing and calls the Raw team back.  Miz tells them to save it for Sunday.  Wait, I just noticed R-Truth is missing.  He can’t enter Canada.  Show challenges Miz to a match tonight.  His teammates agree for him.  ShowMiz EXPLODES tonight!

They show highlights of the Miz/John Cena match from last week and Wade Barrett’s subsequent taunting of Cena.

Tonight, Randy Orton & John Cena vs. Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris!  Commercials.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya).  Kidd and Rhodes start.  Kidd attacks McIntyre on the apron instead.  Rhodes hits a bulldog headlock, then pounds on his face.  McIntyre tags in and beats up Kidd.  McIntyre takes Kidd outside and throws him into the barricade.  Back inside, Kidd continues to play face in peril.  Smith gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Smith hits a leg drop on McIntyre for 2.  Smith hits the running power slam, but Rhodes saves.  Kidd kicks Rhodes from the apron.  Harts set up the springboard Hart Attack.  Smith goes for the Sharpshooter instead.  They argue.  McIntyre hits Smith with the Future Shock for the pin in 3:17.  Fine little match as always.  Kidd is pissed off that Smith’s selfishness cost them the match.

John Cena comes face to face with Randy Orton in the locker room.  Orton warns Cena that he’ll kick him in the head of he gets in Orton’s way.  Cena says he’ll break Orton’s leg off if he tries it.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

R-Truth hype video.  I guess to remind people he exists, since he couldn’t be there this week.

Million Dollar Champion Goldust (w/ Aksana) vs. Zack Ryder.  Ted Dibiase Jr. and Maryse come out to watch.  Ryder beats up Goldust.  Goldust fights back and hits the spinning brainbuster for the pin in 28 seconds.  Dibiase jumps Goldust.  Maryse tries to steal the Million Dollar belt back, but Aksana grabs it and runs away.  Maryse chases her.  Dibiase gets distracted by this, so Goldust hits him with the spinning brainbuster too.

Tonight, Big Show vs. Miz!  Commercials.

WWE encourages kids to read!

Calgary… Alberta, Canada!

The Nexus are in their locker room.  John Cena comes out.  Barrett directs him to test McGillicutty and Harris tonight.  Cena asks if this means he should give it his all.  Barrett confirms this, then orders Cena to get him a glass of water.

That kid from the PSP commercials is playing Smackdown vs. Raw 2011.  He knocks out Miz using Big Show.  Miz comes in and threatens him.  Show comes in to rescue him.  The kid tells him to KO Miz tonight.  The kid’s name is Bobb’e J. Thompson.  I had to IMDB it.  What the hell kind of spelling is Bobb’e?

John Cena brings Wade Barrett his glass of water.  Barrett throws it in Cena’s face.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: The Miz/Cena match they already showed clips of tonight.

WWE Champion Randy Orton & John Cena vs. Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris.  The Nexus come out to watch from the stage.  Cena and McGillicutty lock up.  Cena kicks his ass.  Cena hits the fisherman suplex.  McGillicutty bails, selling his back.  Cena yells “That good enough for ya?” at Barrett.  Commercials.  Orton hits McGillicutty with a dropkick for 2.  Cena tags in and gets cut off by McGillicutty.  Harris tags in and beats up Cena.  Harris hits a corner splash for 2.  McGillicutty tags in and hits a DIVING PERFECT NECK SNAP for 2!  Harris tags in and hits a really half assed cross body for 2.  Harris applies a rear chin lock.  Harris slams Cena and goes for a splash, but Cena avoids it.  Orton gets the hot tag and runs wild on McGillicutty.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER, points at Barrett, and humps the mat.  Harris comes in, but Cena hits him with the Attitude Adjustment.  Orton hits McGillicutty with the RKO for the pin in 7:54.  Okay match.  Cena offers Orton a handshake.  Barrett orders him to withdraw the handshake and leave the ring.  The rest of Nexus surround Orton.  Cena looks pained.  Orton goes on the attack and gets the better of it briefly, but is soon overcome by the 4 on 1 attack.  Orton fights back, but gets mauled.  The crowd chants for Cena.  Slater hits Orton with the Zig Zag.  Otunga hits the spinebuster.  Gabriel hits the 450 splash.  Barrett orders Cena into the ring, then orders him to give Orton the Attitude Adjustment.  Cena picks Orton up, but Barrett orders him to hand Orton over.  Barrett hits the Wasteland.  Cena leaves, disgusted.  Nexus follows, pleased.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Vickie Guerrero comes out, because the Wrestling Gods hate me.  She introduces her man, WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler babbles for a while.  WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan comes out to insult them.  He busts out an “If I can be serious for a minute…” since they’re in Calgary.  Bryan challenges Ziggler to a match at Bragging Rights.  Ziggler accepts, then challenges him to fight RIGHT NOW!  He slaps Bryan.  Vickie gets between them.  Bryan darts around her, tackles Ziggler out of the ring, and kicks his ass.  Awesome!  Bryan locks Ziggler in the LeBell Lock.  Eve Torres, The Bella Twins, Melina, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly come out and surround Vickie.  They dump red glitter on her.  Vickie runs away.  Yay!  Bryan dances with the divas.  LOL!  He tries to do the splits and hurts his balls, then dances with the hot women some more.  Awesome segment.

Show vs. Miz TONIGHT!  Commercials.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox.  They lock up and push each other against the ropes.  Referee forces a break.  Fox slaps Natalya a bunch, then kicks her in the face.  Natalya makes her comeback and locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 1:03.  Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out, because there haven’t been enough obnoxious bitches on my TV in the past 10 minutes.  They insult Canada and the Harts, then jump Natalya.  McCool locks Natalya in the Sharpshooter while Layla takes pictures.  Natalya counters and tries to put Layla in the Sharpshooter.  McCool pulls Layla out of the ring.  At least they put somebody from Calgary over tonight.

They show CM Punk destroying Evan Bourne last week.

Teddy Long and Big Show are backstage with Hornswoggle.  Josh Matthews shows up ask him stupid questions.  Long reveals that the whole Smackdown roster is there: Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio Jr., Edge, Kaval, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Curt Hawkins, Luke Gallows, Chris Masters, JTG, The Dudebusters,Vance Archer, and MVP.  Commercials.

“What WWE is all about” video package with celebrity testimonials.  Take that, Democrats!  Go to WWE.com to stand up for WWE!

John Cena runs into Wade Barrett backstage.  Barrett says he’s not finished with Cena yet.

Show vs. Miz is NEXT!

Justin Roberts introduces tonight’s guest star, Bobb’e J. Thompson.  He’s obnoxious for a bit, then introduces Big Show.

The Big Show (w/ Hornswoggle, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Edge, Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio Jr., Kaval, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Luke Gallows, JTG, Chris Masters, WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre, & Montel Vontavious Porter) vs. The Miz (w/ Alex Riley, Sheamus, CM Punk, Mark Henry, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, William Regal, Vladimir Kozlov, Ted Dibiase Jr., Primo, WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino Marella, & John Morrison).  Show beats up Miz.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Miz fights him off and throws him outside.  Show attacks some Raw guys.  Teddy Long comes out and orders a Smackdown vs. Raw Battle Royal RIGHT NOW!  So the match is a no-contest in about a minute.  Commercials.

Battle Royal featuring The Big Show, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Edge, Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio Jr., Kaval, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Luke Gallows, JTG, Chris Masters, WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre, Montel Vontavious Porter, The Miz, Alex Riley, Sheamus, CM Punk, Mark Henry, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, William Regal, Vladimir Kozlov, Ted Dibiase Jr., Primo, WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino Marella, and John Morrison.  Raw vs. Smackdown!  Everybody brawls.  An Uso and JTG get eliminated.  Riley gets eliminated.  Hornswoggle attacks Michael Cole at ringside and takes his headset.  I’m pretty sure this is an upgrade.  MVP got eliminated.  Masters gets eliminated.  Henry eliminates Tyler Reks.  Show, Gallows, and Rhodes eliminate Henry.  Morrison backdrops Chavo out of the ring.  Regal gets eliminated.  Primo got eliminated, according to Lawler.  Kozlov gets eliminated.  Santino gets eliminated.  Gallows gets eliminated.  Morrison and Del Rio fight on the turnbuckles.  They both fall off and get eliminated.  Swagger, Dibiase, and Punk get eliminated by Edge.  Swagger pulls Edge out of  the ring and puts him in the ankle lock.  They’re teammates!  Zeke eliminates Mysterio, then both Rhodes and McIntyre.  It’s down to Sheamus, Bryan, and Zeke vs. Big Show.  Where did Miz go?  Show eliminates Bryan.  Miz is hiding outside.  Zeke and Sheamus hit a double suplex on Show.  Zeke and Sheamus double team Show.  Show eliminates Zeke.  Miz sneaks in.  He and Sheamus try to eliminate Show.  Edge comes back in and spears Sheamus.  Show eliminates Miz.  Edge clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.  Show and Edge win in 8:31.  What a mess.  I really hope I successfully identified everyone in here.

Cut to the Nexus locker room.  Barrett wants to practice being crowned WWE Champion.  He orders Cena to raise his hand.  Cena does, then leaves.  Barrett smiles.  Fade to black.

I like battle royals and all, but that one was a real mess.  Besides that, this was a pretty fun show.

WWE Superstars 10/14/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

There’s a disclaimer in French.  I don’t trust anything spoken and/or written in French.

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Non-Title: Kelly Kelly (w/ Natalya) vs. Unified WWE Divas Champion Layla (w/ Unified WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool).  Layla does jumping jacks, then jumps at Kelly and yells “boo!”  Then she dances.  I hate wrestling.  Kelly slaps her and they lock up and pull hair.  Still hating it.  Kelly hits an atomic drop and a leg kick sweep for 2.  Kelly hits another kick for 1.  Layla ducks a diving cross body and gets heat in Kelly in a slow, boring manner.  Layla applies a body scissors.  She rolls it into a cradle for 1.  Repeat for 2.  Kelly reverses the cradle for 2.  Layla hits a dropkick.  So does Kelly.  Kelly rams Layla’s face into the mat, then hits some shitty clotheslines.  Layla gets a swank cradle for 2.  Kelly hits a face buster for 2.  Layla goes for the Sharpshooter and strokes her chin at Natalya.  Kelly gets a cradle for 2.  Layla bails.  Natalya stalks her back to the apron.  Layla pulls Kelly’s head across the top rope.  Natalya chop blocks Layla’s leg.  Kelly gets a schoolgirl for the pin in 5:09.  Fucking awful.

Tonight, Melina vs. Alicia Fox.  Fucking UGH.

Don’t try this at home!

Outdated Bragging Rights commercial.

Knucklehead trailer.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barreta.  They show Hawkins turning on Vance Archer last week.  They lock up.  Hawkins talks shit.  Barreta takes him down and works a side headlock.  Hawkins does a leapfrog, drop down, elbow smash, then an elbow drop or something for 2.  Barreta rams Hawkins into the post.  Hawkins pulls him down on the top rope.  Insta-commercials.  Dudebusters hype video.  Instead of going back to the fucking match.  Barreta fights back.  Hawkins trips him, then hits a suplex for 2.  Barreta moves out of the way and sends Hawkins outside, then hits an AWESOME Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Back inside, Barreta makes his comeback.  Barreta hits a springboard dropkick for 2.  Hawkins side steps a running knee and hits a body slam for 2.  Hawkins goes up top.  Barreta cuts him off and hammers him with elbow smashes.  Barreta climbs up, but Hawkins shoves him down and hits the diving elbow drop for the pin (about 5 minutes shown).  Incredibly mediocre match aside from that one cool spot.

Tonight, Melina vs. Fox.  That’s the most unappealing main event ever.

Don’t try this at home!  They really hammer that home on these European broadcasts.

Raw commercials.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are now the announcers.  I liked the guy from last week better.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Primo (w/ AJ) vs. Darren Young).  Young’s hair is slicked back this week.  Primo goes on the attack.  I have no idea who is supposed to be the babyface.  Young fights back and beats up Primo.  They go back and forth.  Young goes up top, but Primo trips him to make him fall down.  Cover gets 2.  Young’s hair is going back to normal now.  Primo hits a dropkick for 2.  Primo keeps the heat on Young.  Young makes his comeback.  Young lands some nice European uppercuts.  Primo boots Young in the face and goes for the Backstabber.  Young counters and hits his retarded full nelson into a front slam thingy for the pin in 4:24.  This wasn’t any good either.

WWE loves the troops!

Melina vs. Fox tonight.  They’re making me want to see it less and less every time they plug it.

Melina hype video.  I think they just edited together every spot she didn’t blow into a 30 second video.

The Miz hype video.

Raw Rebound.

Bragging Rights hype.

The main event, if you can call it that, is next.

Another Bragging Rights commercial.  Actually, it’s the same one from earlier.

Legendary trailer.  Ugh.

Melina vs. Alicia Fox (w/ Maxine).  Melina shocks me by doing a bit of chain wrestling.  Fox pulls Melina’s hair to pull her into the top rope.  Melina does something similar, but with a chin lock instead of a hair pull.  Maxine tries to trip Melina on the apron, but gets kicked away.  Fox gets her cheap shot in to send Melina to the floor.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Fox stands on Melina’s hair.  Melina avoids a knee drop and hits a flapjack.  Melina makes her comeback with crappy clotheslines and a hair pull takedown.  Melina goes for the Code Red, but Fox counters into a Gory Bomb for 2.  Melina avoids the scissors kick and gets a bizarre cradle for the pin in 3:46.  Once again, only one good spot in the whole otherwise shitty match.

I enjoyed maybe 30 seconds out of 45 minutes.  Crappy show.  It wasn’t actively horrible much, just 45 minutes of very mediocre.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 10/8/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

Alberto Del Rio/Rey Mysterio hype video.

Awful new Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Tonight, Kane has a message for the Undertaker!  Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Why the fuck is Cole doing Raw AND Smackdown now?  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Smackdown GM Teddy Long comes out to introduce Smackdown’s newest superstar, Edge!

Edge vs. Jack Swagger (w/ The Swagger Soaring Eagle).  Swagger cuts a promo on Edge.  The eagle is now an actual eagle instead of being a mascot.  I’m already annoyed at this show.  Edge is sick of this stupid shit.  So am I.  They finally lock up to start the match.  Swagger takes Edge down and does some amateur shit, then some push-ups, then runs around.  The eagle gets on the apron.  Swagger high fives it.  Edge spears the eagle off of the apron.  Swagger frantically checks on the eagle.  Commercials.  Edge hits a spin kick.  Edge beats up Swagger as they STRETCHER OUT THE FUCKING EAGLE.  Swagger backdrops Edge to the floor, then pulls his shoulder into the post.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Swagger works Edge’s shoulder.  Swagger hits an armbreaker for 2.  Swagger rings Edge’s arm.  Edge fights back, hits a drop to hold into the ropes, then hits a cross body against the ropes.  Edge gets a schoolboy for 2.  Swagger hits a backbreaker and goes for the springboard Vader Bomb.  Edge avoids it and hits a tornado DDT for 2.  Edge comes off the top, but Swagger catches him with a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Edge slides out of the ring and pulls Swagger’s head into the top rope.  Edge goes for the spear, but Swagger catches him.  Swagger rolls through a sunset flip.  Edge counters the ankle lock.  Edge counters the Doctor Bomb and hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock, but Edge rolls through with a cradle for 2.  Swagger goes for a powerslam, but Edge pushes him into the corner, then hits the spear for the pin in 10:17.  Okay match.  Nothing special.  Nothing much different from the PPV match except for the stupid fucking eagle being involved.  Edge says he “flipped the bird.”  BOO.

They show Alberto Del Rio’s debut, where  Mysterio gave him the 619.  They’ll meet tonight!  Commercials.

Cody Rhodes gives tips on how to brush your teeth.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Divas Champion Layla (w/ Unified WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly (w/ Natalya).  Why the fuck is Natalya on Smackdown?  See, this is why Bragging Rights does NO BUYS.  They make a BIG FUCKING DEAL out of it being Raw vs. Smackdown, but they have people showing up on the other show ALL THE FUCKING TIME FOR NO REASON.  Layla actually looks good, which is normal lately.  I could get down with Layla vs. Natalya, but they insist on having McCool work the important matches despite that she can’t wrestle.  McCool gets involved, so Natalya goes over… and stops when the referee looks at her.  Layla beats up Kelly.  Kelly makes her comeback, so there goes the match.  Kelly lightly shakes Layla’s head and covers for 2.  Kelly does a handspring to the corner and gets caught by a kick.  Layla hits the neckbreaker for the pin in 2:18.  Thank God.  This shit is awful.  Layla tries to cheap shot Natalya.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter.  McCool pulls her out of the ring.

Tonight, MVP vs. Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship.  Again.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

The Big Show runs to the ring like the Ultimate Warrior.  He plugs the movie he has coming out soon and says he’s the Smackdown Team Captain at Bragging Rights.  He introduces Hornswoggle as the team mascot.  Ugh.  He says he’ll start putting the team together over the next week.  The Dudebusters come out.  They want to be on the team.  They threaten to go to Raw and take off their Smackdown shirts to reveal Raw shirts.  Show double chokeslams them, then Hornswoggle charges the red shirt like a bull because he has horns on his head.  Stupid shit.

They show Alberto Del Rio breaking Rey Mysterio’s arm.  They meet tonight!  Commercials.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston & Kaval.  Rhodes beats up Kingston.  McIntyre beats up Kingston.  Cole calls Striker on his bullshit.  The announcing is insufferable.  Kofi gets a sunset flip after Rhodes tags in, so Rhodes breaks it and beats him up some more.  Rhodes for the Alabama Slam, but Kaval gets the tag and runs wild.  He’s awesome.  Kaval knocks McIntyre off the apron and hits Rhodes with some kicks.  Kaval locks in the Dragon Sleeper.  McIntyre saves.  Kofi takes out McIntyre.  Rhodes takes out Kofi.  Rhodes hot shots Kaval into the ropes, then hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 3:08.  Other than Kaval looking awesome for a minute, this wasn’t any good.

Tonight, Kane has a message for The Undertaker.  Commercials.

Paul Bearer is in the ring.  He introduces the World Heavyweight Champion, Kane.  Striker talks about Bearer’s betrayal of Undertaker, failing to acknowledge that UNDERTAKER BURIED BEARER IN CONCRETE.  Kane cuts a promo with stupid lighting and music.  I hate that shit.  I have no idea what his message was.

They show Del Rio’s post arm breaking celebration.  Del Rio vs. Mysterio tonight!  MVP vs. Ziggler NEXT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  They show Vickie getting beaten by Kaitlyn on NXT.  Thank God I didn’t see that.  She’s mad because Dolph hugged Kaitlyn after the match.  They lock up.  I rather like it when guys work the lock up a bit.  MVP hits a running knee to the back of the head for 2.  MVP hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Ziggler rallies and beats up MVP.  Ziggler lands an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler sets it up for Vickie to interfere.  She doesn’t.  Vickie leaves.  Dolph is sad.  He should be overjoyed.  MVP knocks Ziggler down, then goes to throw him back in the ring.  Commercials.  Ziggler has MVP in a hold on the mat.  No surprise there.  Ziggler kicked MVP’s knee and head to gain the advantage during the break.  Ziggler elbows MVP in the head and covers for 2.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler hits a fireman carry into a arm lock for 2.  Ziggler applies a camel clutch.  MVP fights out and makes his comeback.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but MVP counters and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Another schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler hits an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler works a rear chin lock.  MVP gets out and hits a belly to belly overhead throw.  MVP kind of face plants Ziggler for 2.  MVP hits an Exploder for 2.  MVP hits a big boot for 2.  Kaitlyn comes out.  Ziggler avoids a suplex and locks in the sleeper hold.  MVP backs him into the corner to escape.  MVP hits a half assed powerslam or something, then goes for the Ballin’ elbow.  Kaitlyn trips him.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin in 12:07.  Boring match.  The love triangle continues.  Vickie Guerrero comes out to the stage to look pissed off.

WWE loves the troops.

They show Rey Mysterio returning last week after Del Rio kissed a dog.  They’ll meet TONIGHT!  IS THE POINT DRILLED IN YET?  COMMERCIALS!

Raw Rebound.

Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio, who does half of the promo in Spanish.  Commercials.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio’s car of choice tonight is a Rolls Royce.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Del Rio over powers Mysterio to start and beats on him in the corner.  The referee gets in the way, giving Mysterio the opening to fight back.  Del Rio charges Mysterio and falls out of the ring.  Mysterio goes for the Bombs Away off the apron.  Del Rio avoids it, but Mysterio hits him with a drop toe hold into the steps.  Mysterio knocks Del Rio’s arm against the post, then stomps it into the steps.  Mysterio hits the diving cross body to the outside.  Commercials.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  Del Rio bails.  Mysterio dropkicks him through the ropes, then kicks him in the gut on the floor.  Back inside, Mysterio kicks Del Rio’s legs.  Mysterio hits a running dropkick to the corner, then hits an Arabian press for 2.  Mysterio goes up top, but Del Rio springs up and hits him with an enzuigiri to send him to the floor.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Del Rio works Mysterio’s arm.  Mysterio fights back  and boots Del Rio down.  Mysterio goes up top, but Del Rio cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Mysterio hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top for 2.  Mysterio hits a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Mysterio hits the springboard Bombs Away.  Del Rio catches him with a powerslam for 2.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Del Rio goes for an enzuigiri in the corner, but Mysterio avoids it and hits a diving rana.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but gets distracted by Ricardo Rodriguez.  Del Rio cheap shots Mysterio.  Ricardo gets on the apron.  Mysterio sends Del Rio into him with a headscissors.  Mysterio hits the 619 and a frog splash for the pin in 13:21.  Pretty good match.

The main event was decent.  The rest of the show was fucking horrible.  This whole week of TV has been shit with only 2 or 3 matches that I enjoyed.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 9/24/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Kane has a challenge for The Undertaker!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Kane vs. Chris Masters.  Kane grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block for 2.  Kane grabs his headlock again.  Masters tries to fight out, so Kane nails him.  Masters manages to drop Kane with a swinging neckbreaker and a diving shoulder block.  Masters locks in the Master Lock.  Kane backs him into the corner three times to break it.  Masters hammers him with chops and punches.  Kane kicks Masters’ knee out from under him.  Kane beats up Masters for a while and works his knee.  Kane hits the basement big boot for 2.  Masters fights back, staggers Kane with an elbow smash, and dives at him.  Kane catches him mid-air with a punch, then grounds & pounds him.  Kane hits the chokeslam and the Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 6:07.  Okay little TV match here.  Kane takes the mic and cuts another wacky Kane promo, going out amongst the people.  He says he’s going to issue a challenge to The Undertaker later tonight.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre (c) vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya).  Wasn’t this match supposed to be on Raw next week?  Aren’t the Harts Raw guys?  I digress.  McIntyre and Smith lock up.  McIntyre pounds on Smith in the corner.  Smith hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Kidd tags in and the Harts double team McIntyre.  McIntyre bails and Kidd hits him with a baseball slide headscissors.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre drops Smith with a boot.  Smith hits him with a jawbreaker.  Rhodes tags in and cuts off Smith from making the tag.  Rhodes beats up Smith.  McIntyre tags in and Pearl Harbors Smith.  Smith drops McIntyre.  Rhodes tags back in and cuts off Smith again, locking him in a rear chin lock.  Smith stands up and drops Rhodes with an electric chair drop.  McIntyre and Kidd tag in.  Kidd runs wild.  Dropkick to the head gets 2.  Kidd hits a springboard Blockbuster, but Rhodes saves.  Smith throws Rhodes out of the ring.  McIntyre drops Smith with a boot.  McIntyre exposes the turnbuckle pad and sends Kidd into it, then hits the Future Shock for the pin (4:36 shown).  Fine little match.

The Undertaker sits in a dark stairwell.

Alberto Del Rio taunts an injured Christian.  He apparently attacked Christian from behind in the parking lot because he’s a big smelly vagina.

Raw Rebound.

Hell In A Cell hype.

CM Punk is in the locker room getting ready.  Luke Gallows comes in.  Punk tells him to leave, that he’s done with him.  Gallows chokes Punk and pushes him against the wall.  Gallows says Punk has no right to pass judgment or think he’s better than anybody.  The video cuts to the next scene before the segment is over.  Weird.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Kaval.  Oh fuck yes!  They start to do a knuckle lock, but Chavo lands a cheap kick.  Kaval comes back and awesomely lands lots of wacky kicks.  Kaval locks in the Dragon Clutch on the ropes briefly, then takes a bump to the floor.  Chavo whips him into the barricade, then picks him up and drops him across it.  Back inside, Chavo hits the Eddie hilo for 2.  Chavo locks Kaval in a waist lock, then Irish whips him.  Kaval catches him with a shot and makes his awesome comeback.  Kaval hits the Tidal Wave for 2.  Chavo hits the Three Amigos, with a brainbuster on the last one.  He goes for the frog splash, but Kaval avoids it and hits a running dropkick for 2, as Chavo gets a foot on the ropes.  Kaval hits Chavo with a koppou kick in the corner, then goes for a Frankensteiner off the top.  Chavo holds into the ropes to avoid it, then hits the frog splash for the pin in 4:26.  Good little match.  Kaval looked great here.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio comes out to talk.  They once again show him injuring Rey Mysterio Jr.  He says Mysterio will be back on Smackdown next week and he’s going to kiss him on the cheek.  Yeah, that’s what he said.  Christian comes out and beats up Del Rio.  Ricardo Rodriguez comes in and grabs Christian’s leg to let Del Rio get the advantage.  Del Rio locks Christian in the cross armbreaker, then puts a chair on the arm and rams it into the ring post.  Christian is going to be out for 4-6 months due to injury, which kills a good bit of my interest in this show.

The Undertaker is still sitting in a dark stairwell.  He looks tired and/or hurt.

Handicap Match: Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs. The Big Show.  Hawkins starts.  Show destroys him.  Hawkins avoids Show in the corner and leaps at him.  Show kills him with a chop in mid-air.  Archer tags in.  Show takes him down and locks him in a camel clutch for the submission win in 1:15.  Fun squash.

Josh Matthews interviews Jack Swagger, who show off his football jerseys.  The Dudebusters and Hornswoggle steal them while his back is turned.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

CM Punk vs. Luke Gallows.  Gallows is pissed.  Punk tries to avoid his blows, but ends up getting caught and getting his ass kicked.  Gallows hits a flapjack on Punk and throws him around.  Punk rolls to the apron.  Gallows pulls him up, but Punk pulls Gallows across the top rope.  Punk hits the springboard lariat, then clamps on a front face lock.  Gallows lifts Punk.  Punk goes for a sunset flip, but doesn’t get it.  Punk hits a move for 2.  Punk lands some kicks.  Gallows boots Punk in the face and gets rolling.  Gallows hits a short lariat and the big splash for 2.  Punk avoids Gallows in the corner and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 3:35.  Fun little match.

The Undertaker is still just hanging out in a dark stairwell.

Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlyn come out.  Argh.  Vickie is obnoxious.  She has MASSIVE heat.  She introduces her man, WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Kaitlyn) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Part of MVP’s entrance is edited out.  This show is weirdly edited.  They lock up and MVP shines.  Ziggler bails and interacts with Kaitlyn.  Vickie gets mad.  Ziggler goes back in and beats up MVP.  MVP hits a fireman carry into a press slam, then knocks Ziggler out of the ring.  Kaitlyn checks on him.  Vickie bitches at her.  Kaitlyn tires of this shit, shoves Vickie on her ass, and leaves.  Vickie whins and leaves.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler avoids the corner Yakuza kick and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler puts the boots to MVP.  Ziggler hits some elbow drops for 2.  Ziggler applies a chin & shoulder lock with body scissors.  MVP fights out.  Ziggler clubbers him some more.  MVP avoids Ziggler in the corner and makes his comeback.  MVP goes for the Playmaker, but Ziggler counters and schoolboys him for 2.  MVP hits an Exploder for 2.  MVP hits the Yakuza kick in the corner for 2, as Ziggler gets a foot on the rope to save himself.  Ziggler pulls MVP across the top rope and goes for the Zig Zag, but MVP holds onto the rope to avoid it.  MVP goes for the Ballin’ elbow, but Ziggler bails.  Ziggler grabs his belt and leaves.  MVP wins by count-out (7:44 shown).  Okay match.  The announcers flip flop on whether or not it was a title match.  It wasn’t announced as such, so just assume the announcers are idiots.

Rosa Mendez is jumping rope backstage.  The Dudebusters take her jump rope and put it in a box that they hand off to Hornswoggle, who is loading a truck.  See, despite the fact that they’re mostly in a different venue every week, they only have to move anything when the show is going to be airing on a different channel.  And Hornswoggle and The Dudebusters have been demoted to movers.  Vickie Guerrero comes in looking for Kaitlyn.  They lock her in the moving truck.  Heh.

The Undertaker continues to sit in his dark stairwell.  Someone opens a door.  Taker feels something, stands up, and rolls his eyes back.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out.  He cuts a promo against a backdrop of red lighting and weird music.  He challenges Undertaker to a Hell In A Cell Match at the PPV.  The GONG sounds.  Druids come out with a casket.  Kane opens the casket.  PAUL BEARER IS IN THE CASKET!  HE HAS THE URN!  The lights go out and come back on to reveal The Undertaker in the ring.  Taker kicks Kane’s ass.  THE URN GAVE UNDERTAKER HIS POWERS BACK!  Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Kane bails and runs away.  Taker does the old school “reach for the urn” pose.  Kane screams “No!” as the show ends.

Fun show this week.

WWE Superstars 9/9/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.  Tonight, The Big Show takes on Luke Gallows!

R-Truth vs. William Regal.  Regal tells R-Truth that anyone can rap and proves it by rapping himself.  It’s awesome.  The match starts and the crowd chants “USA!”  They lock up.  Regal backs Truth in to the corner and nails him with a forearm.  Truth retaliates with punches, then takes him down with a side headlock.  They do a tiny bit of sweet wrestling, but Truth wants to brawl.  He hits Regal with a crappy monkey flip.  Truth hits Regal with corner punches, then hits a clothesline for 2.  Regal lands a European uppercut.  Truth dances around and drops Regal with a kick.  Regal bails.  Insta-commercials.  Regal holds Truth in a full nelson, having gained the advantage during the break.  Truth fights out and tries a sunset flip, but Regal knees him in the head.  Regal sets out to maul and stretch a fucker.  They trade shots.  Truth mounts a comeback.  Regal avoids the scissors kick and gets an inside cradle, but Truth turns it over to get the pin (5:00 shown).  Good little match.

NXT recap.  Here’s my recap: It was the worst thing to ever happen ever.

Goldust, Gail Kim, and Aksana are headed our way!

Goldust & Gail Kim (w/ Aksana) vs. Primo & Jillian Hall (w/ AJ).  Goldust and Primo start.  Goldust hits a butt butt and catapults Primo into the ropes, then tags in Gail.  Jillian comes in and Gail beats her up.  Primo comes in and Gail hits him with a missile dropkick.  Primo and Jillian try to double team Gail, but Goldust pulls Primo out of the ring.  The referee decides to be an idiot and bitch at Goldust for no good reason, so he doesn’t see Gail cover Jillian.  Primo cheap shots Gail to let Jillian get the advantage.  Jillian works Gail’s hair.  I hate that shit.  Jillian beats up Gail.  Jillian goes for a powerbomb, but Gail turns it into a hurricanrana.  The men tag in and Goldust runs wild.  Goldust hits a bulldog for 2.  Goldust hits the snap powerslam, but Jillian saves.  Jillian slaps Goldust.  Gail hits Jillian with the Eat Defeat.  Primo goes for the Backstabber, but Goldust counters and hits the spinning brainbuster for the pin in 4:36.  Fine little match.

Tonight, Show vs. Gallows!

WWE.com plug.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the second announcers.  Tony Chimel is the second ring announcer.

Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs. The Dudebusters.  Do we really need to see this match again?  Archer and Croft start.  Archer wails on Croft.  Hawkins tags in to continue the beating.  Hawkins hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Archer tags back in and hits a short lariat for 2.  Archer hits a belly to belly overhead for 2.  Archer works a rear chin lock.  Croft escapes with a jawbreaker.  Croft makes the hot tag to Barreta, who runs wild.  Barreta hits a running knee, but Hawkins saves.  Croft cleans Hawkins’ clock.  Archer nails Croft.  Barreta goes for a diving cross body, but gets caught.  Croft knocks Archer off balance, allowing Barreta to hit a spinning DDT for the pin in 3:49.  Fine little match.

Show vs. Gallows TONIGHT!

Kane hype video.

Legendary plug.  I’m so fucking sick of that movie.

Grisham and Striker hype the Night of Champions card.

Luke Gallows and Joey Mercury of the Straight Edge Society come out.  They show the handicap match from last Smackdown where Big Show beat Gallows and CM Punk, then Punk gave Gallows the Go 2 Sleep.  Gallows cuts a promo.

Luke Gallows (w/ Joey Mercury) vs. The Big Show.  Gallows tries to kick Show, but Show catches his leg and chops him.  Show just beats the crap out of him, not allowing him to get anything going.  Gallows bails and Show hits a baseball slide dropkick, of all things.  Show hits Gallows with more big chops.  Back inside, Gallows manages to land a boot and tries to get something going.  Show cuts him off immediately and kicks his ass some more.  Show lands the KO punch for the pin in 2:12.  Fun little squash.  Show takes the mic after the match and says he’s going to rid WWE of the SES.  Good.

Fun show this week.  Another in a string of good Superstars.

WWE Superstars 8/26/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2010 by Grappleholic

Superstars open.  No pyro nor ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Goldust vs. William Regal.  They lock up and go at it and it fucking rules.  They counter each other, then trade arm locks.  Regal gets a rope break.  Repeat in reverse.  Goldust decks Regal, which pisses Regal off and sets him to mauling a fucker.  Regal works the arm in fucking awesome Regal fashion.  Goldust misses a cross body and hits the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Goldust suplexes Regal into the ring from the apron.  Goldust hits the corner punches.  Regal begs off and offers a handshake.  Goldust stomps on his hand.  Regal nails an elbow smash, then sells the injured hand.  Regal does that awesome bit where he mauls a fucker while trying to pin him, then applies a chin lock.  Regal kicks Goldust in the face for 2, then ties him up like a pretzel.  They have an awesome little slugfest that Goldust gets the better of and starts to make his comeback.  Goldust hits a bulldog for 2.  Regal pulls Goldust’s neck into the top rope, then blasts him with the knee trembler for the pin (6:31 shown).  Fucking AWESOME little match.

NXT recap.

Tonight, Drew McIntyre takes on Chris Masters!

Still photos from the house show in China.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are now the announcers.  Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs. The Dudebusters.  Archer and Barreta lock up.  Archer overpowers him and hands him over to Hawkins.  Barreta fights back and tags in Croft.  Croft gets 2 after some light double teaming.  Archer tags in and beats up Croft.  Croft fights back, decks Hawkins, then gets clotheslined out of the ring.  Hawkins rams Croft’s back into the side of the ring.  Back inside, Hawkins covers Croft for 2.  Hawkins and Archer get the heat on Croft.  Barreta gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Crowd is actually behind the Dudebusters.  Barreta hits a springboard dropkick on Archer, but Hawkins saves.  Croft backdrops Hawkins to the floor, then gets booted off of the apron by Archer.  Barreta hits a nice tornado DDT on Archer for the pin in 5:00.  Fine little match.

McIntyre vs. Masters TONIGHT!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Undertaker hype video.

Raw Rebound.

The main event is NEXT!

Drew McIntyre vs. Chris Masters.  They lock up.  Masters powers McIntyre into the corner and gives a clean break.  They lock up again and McIntyre cranks on Masters’ arm.  McIntyre grabs a guillotine.  Masters counters with an arm flip and goes for the Master Lock, but McIntyre escapes and cowers in the corner.  McIntyre gets the jump on Masters and beats him up.  Masters retaliates.  Masters hits a diving shoulder block, then clotheslines McIntyre out of the ring.  Masters beats up McIntyre on the floor.  McIntyre slips out of a powerslam and sends Masters into the post.  McIntyre rams Masters’ leg into the post.  Masters makes it back into the ring and McIntyre goes to work on the leg.  Cover for 2.  Masters fires back, but McIntyre cuts him off at the leg again.  Cover gets 2.  McIntyre goes back to the leg work.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre chokes Masters against the ropes, so he’ll be fired soon.  Or he would if anybody besides me watched Superstars.  McIntyre lands a dropkick to the leg for 2.  McIntyre lands a European uppercut and Masters falls like a sack of potatoes.  Or like James Toney being taken down by Randy Couture.  McIntyre works a spinning toe hold.  Classic.  Masters kicks McIntyre out of the ring.  McIntyre comes back in and runs into a Samoan drop by Masters.  Masters makes his comeback and hits a spinebuster for 2, stopping for a moment to sell his leg.  Masters gets whipped and hurts his leg again.  McIntyre hits a neckbreaker for 2.  McIntyre rips Masters’ knee pad down and attacks the knee some more.  Masters gets an inside cradle for 2.  Masters hits a powerslam, then goes for the Master Lock.  McIntyre tumbles out of the ring to escape, but Masters holds on and locks it in.  McIntyre backs him into the barricade to escape.  Back inside, McIntyre kicks Masters’ knee and hits the Future Shock for the pin (10:50 shown).  Very good match.

Really good show this week.

WWE Superstars 8/5/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 5, 2010 by Grappleholic

Superstars open.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Non-Title: Tiffany vs. WWE Women’s Champion Layla (w/ Michelle McCool).  They lock up.  Layla slaps Tiffany’s skirt or something.  Tiffany gets a sunset flip for 2.  They trade arm locks while LayCool act obnoxious.  Layla bails.  Tiffany follows, shoves Michelle down, and shoves her back in.  McCool kicks Tiffany in the leg.  McCool rams Tiffany’s leg into the apron.  Layla works the leg.  Layla applies an Indian death lock.  Fucking sweet!  Layla turns it into a pinning predicament for 2.  Tiffany makes her comeback and hits a bulldog headlock for 2.  Tiffany hits a suplex for 2.  Layla ducks a cross body and h its the neckbreaker for the pin in 5:11.  I want to punch Striker in the nuts every time he uses that obnoxious fake English accent. Typical crap, but the Indian death lock spot was cool.

NXT recap.  Because that horrid bullshit just HAS to be seen twice.

Tonight, Evan Bourne vs. Zack Ryder!  At least there might be something worth watching on this show.  The trailer for John Cena’s next movie that they also promise (threaten?) to show later will not be it.  Commercials.

They plug the SummerSlam song and WWE.com.

Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs. The Dudebusters.  Why the fuck are 2 lower-midcarder heel teams wrestling each other?  Hawkins and Barreta do some shit.  Croft tags in and gets a 2 count after a double team.  Archer tags in and beats up Croft.  Dudebusters double team Croft.  Archer knocks Croft out of the ring.  Commercials.  Hawkins and Archer get the heat on Croft.  Barreta gets the warm tag and runs wild.  Barreta hits a springboard dropkick, but Archer saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Croft low bridges Archer out of the ring and goes for a dive, but Archer avoids it.  Archer makes the blind tag and hits Barreta with a boot.  Archer hits the reverse DDT.  Hawkins tags in and hits the diving elbow drop on Barreta for the pin in 9:21.  It was fine, but who the fuck cares?  I mean, I actually go out of my way to watch fucking SUPERSTARS and even I don’t give a fuck about seeing these teams wrestle each other.  Or anybody else really.  Hawkins cuts a promo on the Hart Dynasty, because they want a title shot.

“Legendary” trailer.  Whatever.

Bourne vs. Ryder TONIGHT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The Miz hype video.

Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole are the announcers, which means Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Raw Rebound.

Cole and Lawler hype the SummerSlam card.

The main event is next!  Commercials.

Evan Bourne vs. Zack Ryder.  Ryder stands on the middle rope and taunts.  They lock up.  Ryder backs Bourne into the corner and cheap shots him to get the advantage.  Bourne hits a sliding kick for 2.  Ryder hits a clothesline for 2.  Ryder works over Bourne.  Bourne lands a dropkick and a rana… and another dropkick.  Bourne clotheslines him to the apron and kicks him to the floor.  Bourne goes for a dive, but Ryder moves and Bourne hits the guardrail.  Commercials.  During the commercials there’s one for Superstars featuring Cryme Tyme, who broke up 4 months ago.  Bourne tries to fight out of  a rear chin lock as they randomly show another shot of the announcers introducing themselves.  Ryder covers for 2.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2, then grabs another chin lock.  Bourne fights back.  Ryder hits a kick in the corner for 2, then locks in a crossface.  Bourne lands a kick and gets an inside cradle for 2.  Bourne hits a dropkick to the corner for 2.  Bourne tries to go up top, but Ryder grabs his leg.  Ryder hits a sit-out spinebuster for 2.  Ryder goes up top.  Bourne cuts him off, backdrops him to the mat, and hits the Shooting Star press for the pin in 13:02.  Okay match.

Mediocre show this week, which is depressing.  The main event was solid, though.