Archive for Teddy Long

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/11/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are TAPED from Houston!  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T are the announcers.  Triple H will be here tonight.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out.  They show the contract signing and brawl with Alberto Del Rio last week, with Christian making the save for Edge and beating the piss out of Del Rio.  Edge says he wants to fight Del Rio tonight.  Alberto Del Rio and Brodus Clay come out.  Del Rio and Edge talk shit to each other.  Edge attacks them both.  That’s stupid, because there are two of them, and they quickly overcome Edge and put a beating on him.  Christian makes the save.  Big Brodus Clay drops him too.  Referees come out to break it up.  Teddy Long comes out and books a tag match with Del Rio & Clay against the 7-time Tag Team Champions, Edge & Christian!

Michael Cole says he’s going to interview John Cena tonight.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Kane comes out.  They show the stuff with Kane, Big Show, and The Corre from last week.  Wade Barrett comes out and cuts a promo on him.

Kane vs. Wade Barrett.  Barrett goes on the attack.  Kane rallies and beats up Barrett.  The rest of The Corre hit the ring to cause the DQ in 42 seconds.  The Big Show makes the save with a steel chair.  Insta-commercials.

The Big Show & Kane vs. Wade Barrett & WWE Tag Team Champion Heath Slater of The Corre.  JIP.  Show beats up Slater.  Barrett tags in.  Show beats him up too.  Barrett counters the choke slam and chop blocks Show’s knee, then drops him with a big boot and stomps on him.  Slater tags in to continue the work.  Show stands up with Slater on his back and drops him.  Kane gets the tag and hits Slater with the diving lariat.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam, then knocks Barrett off the apron.  Kane hits a big boot and goes for the chokeslam.  Gabriel and Zeke run in to cause the DQ again (3:19 shown).  Big Show cleans house with a chair, then hits Kane with it for good measure because of what happened last week.

Rey Mysterio is backstage getting ready for action.

From Raw: Michael Cole introduces John Bradshaw Layfield as his chosen referee from WrestleMania, but Stone Cold Steve Austin signed on for the job instead!

Tonight, Edge & Christian vs. Del Rio & Clay!

Cody Rhodes is headed our way!

From Smackdown 2 weeks ago: Cody & Dusty Rhodes set up Rey Mysterio!

Cody Rhodes vs. JTG.  Rhodes wrestles in his suit for some damn reason.  Maybe the airline lost his gear.  He attacks JTG and beats the hell out of him.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 52 seconds.  SQUASH.

From Raw: Shawn Michaels speaks on Triple H/Undertaker.

Tonight, Triple H responds to The Undertaker!  Next, Cole interviews John Cena!

Houston!

Michael Cole interviews John Cena in the ring.  The show WWE Champion The Miz attacking Cena on Raw.  Cena tells Cole to shut up, then cuts a promo on Miz.  He says he’s done with the BS with The Rock and he’s going to focus on Miz.  He goes to leave, but Cole says he’s not done.  He talks about how gay he is for Miz.  Cena goes to kick his ass.  Jack Swagger hits the ring and attacks Cena, with Cole cheering him on.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Cena kicks him out of the ring and picks Cole up for the Attitude Adjusment.  Swagger saves him and takes it himself.

Tonight, Edge & Christian vs. Del Rio & Clay!

Sin Cara vignette.

Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kaitlyn.  “Shucky ducky quack quack,” Booker T says.  I have no fucking clue.  I can make a good guess about how awful this match will be.  They lock up.  Kaitlyn shoves Layla, then pulls her off the ropes onto her back.  McCool gets on the apron.  Kaitlyn tussles with her.  Layla lands a kick and hits the Lay Out for the pin in 55 seconds.  Thank God.  They beat up Kaitlyn after the match.

Mysterio in action next.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Cole is back on commentary.  Ugh.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Drew McIntyre.  McIntyre boots Mysterio in the face early and keeps the heat going for a bit.  Mysterio hits a headscissors and goes for the 619.  McIntyre bails.  Mysterio gives him a drop toe hold into the apron.  McIntyre sends Mysterio into the post, then gives him a sidewalk slam into the apron.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre does a bow & arrow lock.  McIntyre tries to set up a superplex.  Mysterio knocks him down, hits the senton, then misses a high cross body.  McIntyre gets an Oklahoma Roll for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and a diving splash for the pin (4:30 shown).  Good little match.  Cody Rhodes comes out.  He wants an answer to his WrestleMania challenge.  Mysterio agrees to the match.

Next, Triple H responds to The Undertaker!

Triple H comes to the ring and introduces a video package on himself.  He cuts a long promo about his match with the Undertaker at WrestleMania.  Over the years, it’s become habit for me to zone out when he talks.

Matt Striker interviews Christian.  Edge comes in.  The main event is NEXT!

Houston!

Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Brodus Clay, who is already in the ring, and Alberto Del Rio, who comes out in his car.

Alberto Del Rio & Brodus Clay vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Christian.  Christian beats up Clay, who is a fucking awesome big man and sells like a big man should.  Christian goes for a tornado DDT, but Del Rio distracts him.  Clay hits a fall away slam.  On the outside, Del Rio sends Christian into the barricade.  Edge chases Del Rio, who bails into the crowd.  Clay hits an elbow drop on Christian for 2.  Clay slams Christian and tags in Del Rio.  Del Rio hits like a running stomp for 2.  Del Rio works Christian’s arm for a while.  Christian hits the diving European uppercut.  Clay and Edge tag in.  CLay catches a cross body and powerslams Edge for 2.  Edge gives Clay a drop toe hold into the bottom turnbuckle, knocks Del Rio off the apron, and goes for the spear.  Clay catches him with a clothesline, then sets him in the corner and goes for a running ass.  Edge avoids it.  Del Rio attack Edge.  Christian attacks Del Rio and backdrops him to the floor.  Christian plants Clay with a tornado DDT.  Edge comes off the top with a diving elbow drop on Clay for the pin in 5:49.  Very fun match.  Brodus Clay is wildly entertaining.

Besides the matches being really short, this was a pretty fun show.

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/4/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of last week’s happenings.  Tonight, the contract signing for Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio at WrestleMania!

Smackdown open.  We are TAPED from Cleveland, Ohio.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, The Undertaker returns to Smackdown!

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out to cut a promo.  He talks about Alberto Del Rio.  He talks about how happy he is to be rid of Vickie Guerrero.  Drew McIntyre hits the ring and brawls with Edge.  Edge sends him to the floor.  Teddy Long comes out and thanks McIntyre for losing, causing Vickie to be fired.  He books Edge vs. McIntyre for right now.  Edge gets the crowd to chant “Thank you, Drew.”  Commercials.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Drew McIntyre.  Edge goes on the attack.  McIntyre gets the advantage and beats up Edge.  McIntyre works Edge’s injured arm.  McIntyre drops Edge with a big boot and sends him to the floor, then rams the injured arm into the announce table.  McIntyre yells that he’s going to end Edge’s career.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  McIntyre rips the tape off of Edge’s injured elbow and further abuses it.  Edge back body drops McIntyre on the floor.  Back inside, Edge goes up top and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge hits the spear, then pulls McIntyre up at 2.  Edge locks in the Edgeucator for the submission in 5:20.  Fine little match.

Tonight, Big Show vs. Kane!  The Undertaker!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

Cody Rhodes comes out to Rey Mysterio’s music wearing the mask he stole last week.  They show the ambush Cody and Dusty Rhodes set up against Mysterio last week.  Rhodes cuts a good promo and challenges Mysterio to a match at WrestleMania.

Kane encounters The Corre backstage.  They offer their help against Show tonight.

The Corre defend the tag titles against Santino & Kozlov NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of The Corre (w/ Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Santino and Gabriel dance around, then lock up.  Santino throws Gabriel around.  Kozlov tags in and goes maulin’.  Santino and Kozlov clear the ring.  Commercials.  Kozlov has Slater in a headlock.  That’s odd.  The Corre cut Kozlov off.  Barrett gets in a cheap shot.  The Corre get the heat on Kozlov.  Santino gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Barrett gets on the ring and takes the bullet.  Slater hits Santino with a reverse DDT for the pin in 7:29.  Meh.  The Corre celebrate.

Christian returns next week!  They show the attack by Alberto Del Rio that injured him last year and Christian’s return attack on Del Rio at Elimination Chamber.

Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez are backstage.  Someone is painting a portrait of Del Rio.

Up next, The Undertaker!  Commercials!

They show Triple H’s promo on Undertaker from Raw.

The Undertaker comes out to “Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash, wish is an awesome choice for entrance music.  He talks about facing Triple H at WrestleMania.  Fine promo.

Tonight, the contract signing!  Kane vs. Show!  Commercials!

Cleveland!

Sin Cara is coming to WWE!

Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendez vs. Michelle McCool & Layla.  They show the bickering between LayCool last week.  Beth and McCool lock up.  Beth attacks McCool’s allegedly injured foot.  Rosa tags in and does the same.  Layla tags in.  Rosa throws her down some, then swings at McCool.  Layla beats up Rosa.  McCool tags in and shoves Layla, then beats up Rosa.  Layla and Beth tag in.  Beth runs wild and hits a powerslam.  McCool saves.  The referee gets distracted by Rosa.  McCool kicks Beth with her loaded boot for the pin in 2:19.  This sucked.

Next, Show vs. Kane, which will also suck.  Commercials.

The Big Show vs. Kane.  They show Show fighting off The Corre last week.  Kane and Show brawl.  Double clothesline spot.  The Corre come out.  Barrett throws Kane a chair.  Kane hits Show with it to cause the DQ in 1:14.  The Corre attack Show.  Kane hammers Gabriel with the chair.  The Corre bail.  At least this was short.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Replay of Shawn Michaels speaking on the Undertaker/Triple H match.

Jack Swagger comes out.  They show Swagger attacking Jerry Lawler on Raw.  Cole gets in the ring to babble for a while.  He hypes his mystery guest referee and insults Cleveland.  Commercials.

Jack Swagger vs. JTG.  Swagger takes JTG down and humps him or something.  Cole is babbling a mile a minute.  Matthews and Booker look like they want to die.  Swagger hits some Vader Bombs and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 1:06.  Cole is so excited he humps the announce table.  He gets in the ring to hug Swagger.  I imagine Cole will obey Swagger’s music and “get down on his knees” to suck Swagger’s cock.

Video of the Rock/John Cena shit talking.

Edge is talking backstage.  He defaces Del Rio’s portrait, then kicks the painter in the ass.  Commercials.

Teddy Long is in the ring for the contract signing.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio has Ricardo sing the Mexican National Anthem.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge interrupts.  They banter for a while and sign the contract.  Teddy scampers out of the ring just before Edge and Del Rio start brawling.  Edge hits the Edgecution and goes for the spear.  Ricardo grabs his leg.  Del Rio beats up Edge and puts him in the cross armbreaker for a moment, then throws him to the floor and sends his injured arm into the barricade.  Del Rio puts a chair around Edge’s arm.  Christian makes the save and kicks Del Rio’s ass.  Del Rio tries to run away, but Christian chases him down and kicks his ass some more.  Referees break it up.

Okayish show.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/25/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, recap of last week’s happenings.

Teddy Long books Drew McIntyre & Vickie Guerrero vs. Edge & Kelly Kelly tonight, with Vickie being fired if her team loses.

Smackdown open.  Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kane.  Kane beats up Mysterio and hits a basement kick for 2.  Mysterio tries to do a headscissors, but Kane counters and hits an Oklahoma Stampede for 2.  Kane applies a body scissors.  Mysterio fights out… and runs into a tilt a whirl backbreaker.  Kane covers for 2.  Mysterio finally rallies and goes for the 619.  Kane bails.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Kane avoids a dive off the apron and mows Mysterio down with a big boot.  Insta-commercials.  Kane hits a backbreaker.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits some elbow drops for 2.  Kane applies a bear hug.  Mysterio fights out.  Kane bear hugs him again and rams him into the corner.  Kane tries to set up a superplex, but Mysterio fights him off and hits the diving seated senton.  Mysterio makes his comeback and hits a buzzsaw kick for 2.  Mysterio comes off the top, but is met with a uppercut from Kane.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio avoids the diving lariat, then counters the chokeslam and hits the 619.  Mysterio comes off the top again, but Kane catches him.  Mysterio turns it into a sunset flip for the pin (7:32 shown).  Boring match, but a fun closing stretch.  DUSTY RHODES comes out to the ring!  Mysterio is happy to see him.  They hug.  Insta-commercials.

Dusty Rhodes and Rey Mysterio are still in the ring.  Dusty apologizes for his son being a little bitch.  He calls out Cody to apologize himself.  Cody Rhodes comes out in a suit and a face mask.  He whines about Mysterio breaking his face.  Dusty talks about Cody losing focus.  It takes a while, because Dusty speaks with a slow, southern drawl.  He urges Cody to “make this right” and apologize.  Cody apologizes to his dad and Mysterio.  He and Mysterio shake hands.  Dusty and Mysterio hug again, the Dusty holds Mysterio so Cody can jump him.  A dastardly act of treason from the Dream!  Cody destroys Mysterio and smashes his face into stuff, then throws him into his Tron mirror and breaks it.  Cody steals Mysterio’s mask.  Referees cover Mysterio’s face with a towel, lucha-style.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Dusty and Cody Rhodes hug backstage.

Rosa Mendez vs. Layla (w/ Michelle McCool).  No entrances.  McCool is doing commentary.  Rosa shakes Layla’s head.  They do some shit and take a bump to the floor.  Rosa hits McCool.  McCool atacks Rosa to cause the DQ in 1:24.  Fucking pointless.  Layla is pissed at being screwed out of the win.  LayCool bicker, then leave together.  Ugh.

Tonight, Edge & Kelly vs. McIntyre & Vickie.

Tonight, a replay of John Cena’s promo from Raw.

Non-Title: Jack Swagger vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  Ugh, this match again.  They show the brawl between Kingston and Alberto Del Rio on Raw.  Swagger goes after Kofi’s injured arm.  Swagger hits a shoulder block for 2.  Kofi beats up Swagger in the corner.  The referee gets in the way.  Kofi keeps rolling and hits the Boom Drop.  Swagger attacks the arm again, then rams Kofi’s ankle into the post.  Kofi misses a kick.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:45.  At least it was short this time.

Vickie Guerrero knocks on Teddy Long’s door.  She begs the door to reconsider.  The door is unresponsive.

Next, time wasted with Raw replays!

They replay John Cena’s promo from Raw.

Vickie Guerrero begs Chavo Guerrero Jr. for help.  Chavo’s sick of her shit too.

Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show.  The Corre are banned from ringside.  I think Show managed to hit Michael Cole with his ring jacket, which is awesome.  Show beats up Barrett.  Barrett jumps on Show’s back and applies a sleeper hold.  Show fades, but makes it to the ropes.  Barrett puts the boots to him.  Insta-commercials.  Barrett continues pounding on Show.  Show tries to come back, but Barrett dropkicks his knee and hits that sweet short DDT for 2.  Show throws Barrett out of the ring on the kick out.  Barrett comes back in and is thrown out again.  Barrett sends Show’s head into the post and goes back into the ring.  Show pulls him out, which should have started the count, and goes back in to win by count-out in 3:58.  The Corre come out to save Barrett from farther punishment and go after Show.  Show gets a steel chair to even the score and manages to crack Gabriel with it.  He’s sick of their shit.

Tonight, Edge & Kelly vs. McIntyre & Vickie.

Up next, a replay of the Undertaker/Triple H segment from Raw.

As threatened, they kill some time replaying the Undertaker/Triple H segment from Raw, this time with a fancy voice over.

The main event is NEXT!

Drew McIntyre & Vickie Guerrero vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Kelly Kelly.  Kelly insists on starting with Vickie.  Joy.  Vickie tries a kick, but Kelly trips her and beats on her.  Vickie scampers away to make the tag.  McIntyre yells at Kelly.  Edge beats up McIntyre.  McIntyre beats up Edge.  Edge beats up McIntyre.  Vickie slaps Edge from the apron.  McIntyre boots Edge in the face and goes for the Future Shock.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes for the spear.  Vickie begs him not to.  Kelly spears Vickie.  Edge spears McIntyre for the pin in 5:36.  Teddy Long comes out and dances.  Insta-commercials.

Teddy Long, Edge, and Vickie Guerrero are in the ring.  Vickie pleads and screams for her job.  Teddy fires her anyway.  YAY!  She whines to Booker T, who laughs at her.  She hugs Michael Cole for comfort.  Cole promises to do what he can for her.  She begs the camera man for help.  She begs Edge for help.  He sings the goodbye song instead.  Heh.  She screams in anger.  Alberto Del Rio appears and attacks Edge!  Del Rio applies the dreaded cross ambreaker!  Del Rio stands tall as the show ends.

Pretty shitty show.  I would enjoy Vickie getting fired more if I wasn’t 1,247,000% sure she’ll be back making my ear drums bleed.

WWE Elimination Chamber 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Oakland, California!  Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio cuts a promo about how he’ll win the title at WrestleMania.  He’s interrupted by his opponent, Kofi Kingston.

Non-Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Kofi backs Del Rio into the corner.  Del Rio cowers for safety in the ropes.  I think I hear a “DEL RIO!” chant.  Del Rio gets the advantage and goes to work.  Kofi rallies and Del Rio hides in the ropes again, then bails.  Ricardo fans Del Rio with his scarf.  Awesome.  Kofi goes after Del Rio on the outside and brings him back in.  Kofi beats up Del Rio.  Booker is kind of obnoxious on commentary.  Kofi tries to go up top and gets bumped to the floor.  Del Rio sends Kofi into the steps and throws him back into the ring.  Cover gets 2.  Del Rio applies a body scissors.  Kofi fights out.  Del Rio throws him down and covers for 2.  Del Rio pounds on Kofi.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then goes back to the body scissors.  Kofi escapes again and hits a rebound flying forearm.  They trade blows.  Kofi makes his comeback and hits the Boom Drop.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Del Rio avoids it, then avoids Kofi in the corner.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and goes for the diving cross body.  Del Rio catches him midair with knees for 2.  Del Rio goes for a superplex, but Kofi fights him off and hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Del Rio hits a swank gut buster for 2.  Kofi catches Del Rio with a DDT and covers.  Ricardo distracts the referee and Kofi.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Kofi counters into the S.O.S. for 2.  Del Rio hits a swank hangman’s neckbreaker and follows with the Minoru Special.  Kofi tries to fight it, but is forced to submit in 10:29.  Good match.

Randy Orton stalks around backstage.  This is heavily discussed by the announcers.

Todd Grisham interviews World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  Drew McIntyre interrupts to bitch at him about Kelly Kelly being fired.  McIntyre says he’ll win the title tonight.  Edge takes him about as seriously as I do.

Elimination Chamber song!

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Entrances for the Smackdown Chamber Match.  Teddy Long comes out to introduce the replacement for the recently fired Dolph Ziggler, The Big Show!

Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Kane vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Edge and Mysterio start.  Edge wins the lock up, then they trade blows.  Edge hits a flapjack for 2.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors.    Edge back body drops Mysterio out of the ring and onto the steel floor.  Ouch.  Mysterio taunts McIntyre into punching his pod, then hits Edge with a flying move that I totally missed because I was typing.  Shit.  I bet it was a sweet Frankensteiner, too.  Cover gets 2.  Edge sends Mysterio into the side of the chamber and puts the boots to him.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Mysterio drop toe holds Edge into the turnbuckles.  Barrett enters the match and goes to work on Mysterio.  Edge launches Mysterio into a seated senton on Barrett, then slides Mysterio out of the ring.  Barrett drops Edge for 2.  Barrett throws Mysterio back into the ring and hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett continues to beat up Mysterio and Edge.  Edge low bridges Barrett out of the ring.  Mysterio comes back to life and dropkicks Edge.  He goes up top, but Barrett cuts him off and goes for the Wasteland.  Mysterio grabs onto the cage to save himelf and tries to climb up.  Barrett tries a powerbomb, but Mysterio ranas him into the ring.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Edge mows him down with a big boot for 2.  Edge stomps Barrett in the corner.  Kane enters the match and runs wild.  Everybody takes turns getting near falls.  Edge, Mysterio, and Barrett do a double clothesline spot.  Kane clears the ring and beats up Barrett on the outside.  Mysterio goes up top, but gets punched by Kane and falls into the tree of woe.  Edge hits Mysterio with a dropkick for 2.  Kane kicks ass some more.  McIntyre enters the match and immediately throws Mysterio like a lawn dart into a pod, breaking the class.  McIntyre and Barrett beat up Kane.  McIntyre turns on Barrett and throws him through the glass too.  McIntyre is vicious tonight!  He goes to work on Edge, at whom he’s good and pissed off.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes to spear McIntyre, but gets caught by Edge.  Lots of counters.  Mysterio misses the 619 on Kane.  Kane throws Mysterio into the post.  Ouch.  Kane counters the Future Shock and back body drops McIntyre into Kane.  Kane and Edge boot each other down.  Big Show enters the match and runs wild on everyone except for Barrett, who cowers away.  Show gets hold of him and throws him through the class.  They’re going to have to replace all of that glass for the other chamber match.  Show beats the shit out of Barrett and kills him with the KO punch for the pin in 18:50.  Mysterio is on top of a pod.  Kane hits Show with a diving lariat.  Edge hits Show with a diving elbow drop for 2.  McIntyre hits Show with the Future Shock for 2.  Mysterio comes off of the pod with the seated senton for 2.  Kane boots Show.  Mysterio hits the 619.  Edge spears Show.  Kane decks Edge and Mysterio, then chokeslams Show for the pin in 20:54.  McIntyre comes off the top, but Kane catches him and chokeslams him for the pin in 21:09.  Edge and Mysterio try to work together, but Kane kicks their asses.  Mysterio plants Kane with a swinging DDT for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard enzui leg drop for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the diving senton.  Kane catches him.  Edge spears both of them together and pins Kane in 22:51.  Kane chokeslams Mysterio and Edge before leaving.  They eventually make it up.  Mysterio avoids the spear and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Edge rolls through a rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio hits the flip bulldog for 2.  Mysterio goes up top.  Edge tries to cut him off.  Mysterio headbutts him down and tries a rana.  Edge catches him with a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Edge tries another powerbomb, but Mysterio hits a rana and goes for the 619.  Edge catches his legs and locks in the Edgecator!  Mysterio turns it into a cradle for 2.  Mysterio avoids the spear.  Edge rallies and hits it on the second try, but Mysterio kicks out!  Mysterio hits the 619 and the springboard splash.  Edge kicks out at 2!  Mysterio hits a headscissors and another 619.  He comes off  the top, but Edge cuts him down midair with a spear for the pin in 31:30.  Edge retains the title.  Good match, especially the final Edge/Mysterio segment.  Alberto Del Rio appears and attacks Edge!  Del Rio locks on the cross armbreaker.  CHRISTIAN returns to make the save~!  Christian beats the piss out of Del Rio in revenge for Del Rio putting him out of action several months ago.  Christian hits the Killswitch!  After Christian leaves, Edge spears Del Rio.

WrestleMania hype video.

Matt Striker interviews Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Oakland!

Booker T goes into the ring to introduce a special guest, someone who will be a trainer on Tough Enough: Trish Stratus!  They banter a bit.  She rips off The Rock’s “Finally” catchphrase and Booker’s “Sucka,” which prompts Booker to bust out the “She didn’t say that.”  Booker asks why she’s here tonight.  She says she’s here to see Lawler win the title.  Booker finishes with the “Can you dig that?”  Well, this was pretty pointless.

The Chaperone trailer.  Yes, they’re wasting PPV time with this shit.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Corre (w/ Ezekiel Jackson).  Kozlov and Santino throw Slater around a bit.  Slater cuts Santino off.  Corre work over Santino.  Kozlov tags in and throws Gabriel around.  Gabriel drops Kozlov with a head kick and tags in Slater.  Slater hits a wonky slingshot splash for 2.  Corre get the heat on Kozlov.  Santino gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Santino hits the Cobra on Gabriel, then gets a 2 count on Slater.  Corre cut off Santino.  Santino avoids an Eddie hilo from Gabriel and tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov smashes Gabriel and pummels him with headbutts.  Slater makes a blind tag and gives Kozlov a reverse DDT.  Gabriel tags in and hits the 450 splash on Kozlov for the pin in 5:10.  This sucked, but it got the belts off of Santino and Kozlov, so it accomplished something.

Hall of Fame hype video.

Todd Grisham interviews WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be sad and obnoxious.  She whines about Dolph Ziggler being fired from Smackdown.  Teddy Long comes out and tells her the stuff it.  Vickie begs him to rehire Dolph.  Teddy says he is in a hiring mood.  Vickie is happy until Teddy reveals that he’s not hiring Dolph, he’s rehired Kelly Kelly.  Bad call, Teddy.  Kelly goes after Vickie, who tries running away, then tries to make friends.  Kelly kicks her ass.  Michelle McCool and Layla attack Kelly.  Trish Stratus comes and runs off LayCool.  They sneak back and cheap shot her.  Trish kicks their asses.  McCool takes a Chick Kick.  Layla gets a horribly botches Stratusphere.  Trish ends with a double Stratusfaction.  Trish and Kelly celebrate.

Miz/Lawler hype video.

WWE Championship Match: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  They lock up.  Lawler gets a schoolboy for 2.  Miz beats on Lawler.  Lawler gets a backslide for 2.  Lawler gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulder block.  Lawler hits a short lariat for 2.  Lawler hits a shoulder block and a cross body block for 2.  Lawler lands some fucking great punches, then clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  Riley distracts Lawler, allowing Miz to send him into the post.  Miz puts Lawler on the apron and hits a knee lift.  Cover gets 2.  Miz goes to work on Lawler.  Riley gets in a cheap shot behind the referee’s back.  Cover gets 2.  Miz hits the running clothesline to the corner, then goes up top.  Lawler cuts him off and hits a superplex that was damn near a brainbuster for 2.  They trade punches.  That’s a game Miz is not going to win.  Lawler lands a couple of dropkicks and hits a fist drop for 2.  Riley trips Lawler behind the referee’s back.  The referee tells Riley to get the F out!  Lawler avoids Miz in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Lawler goes for the piledriver!  Miz slips out and boots Lawler in the face for 2.  Lawler turns it into a crucifix hold for 2!  Lawler low bridges Miz out of the ring.  Cole yells at Lawler.  Miz takes advantage of the distraction and rams Lawler’s head into the announce table.  Lawler avoids it the second time and smashes Miz’s face into the table, then throws him over the table into Cole!  Back inside, Lawler goes up top and hits a diving punch for 2.  At least Cole has shut the hell up for a bit.  Lawler counters the Skull Crushing Finale.  Miz hits the backbreaker.  Lawler counts the neckbreaker that follows and hits a DDT!  Lawler goes up top and lowers the strap!  Diving fist drop!  Miz gets his foot on the bottom rope at 2.  Lawler goes for the piledriver, but Miz backdrops him and lands on top for 2.  Lawler turns it into a sunset flip for 2.  Miz kicks Lawler in the head and hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 12:09.  Very good match.  Cole gets in the ring to celebrate with Miz.  After they leave, Lawler gets a much deserved standing ovation.

2/21/11!  That’s tomorrow!  What’s gonna happen?

John Cena eats Fruity Pebbles backstage.  Todd Grisham comes in to ask him about The Rock, but he no-sells it and talks about the Elimination Chamber.  He says he fells “Yabba dabba delicious.”  Seriously.

Matt Striker interview CM Punk.

Another WrestleMania hype video.  As usual, the theme song is fucking horrible.

Highlights of the Smackdown Chamber match from earlier tonight.

Elimination Chamber Match to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. R-Truth vs. CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. King Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  Sheamus and Morrison lock up.  Sheamus lands a shoulder block.  Sheamus takes Morrison down with a side headlock takeover a few times, then slaps Morrison.  Morrison takes him down and pounds on him.  Sheamus rolls to the outside.  Morrison hits him with a dive.  Morrison tries the Flying Chuck, misses, and hits it off of the cage.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus drops Morrison with a short lariat and commences to putting a beating on him.  Morrison drops Sheamus with a kick and goes for the Starship Pain, but Sheamus recovers and pushes him to the outside.  Sheamus beats on Morrison.  Orton enters the match and runs wild.  Orton throws Morrison through one of the pods.  So we’re playing that game again, are we.  Orton gives Sheamus the DDT OF MURDER on the steel floor!  Orton puts the boots to his downed opponents.  Orton hits a superplex on Morrison for 2.  Orton hits a superplex on Sheamus for 2.  Miz and Riley are shown watching backstage.  Punk enters the match, but gets stuck in the door because it won’t open.  Orton is standing right there waiting.  He says “fuck it” and starts pounding on him.  Orton throws Punk into the ring and hits the RKO for the pin in 9:00.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that Punk didn’t have a fair chance, so he’s back in the match and allowed to reenter his pod for some reason.  Orton is pissed and beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2.  Morrison beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus sends him outside and poses.  He sets up Orton for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and goes for the RKO.  Sheamus counters and avoids the brogue kick.  Morrison drops Orton with the Flying Chuck.  Sheamus beats up Morrison.  Cena enters the match and is immediately attacked in his pod by Sheamus.  Cena rallies and tries to give Morrison the Attitude Adjustment out of the ring.  Morrison lands on his feet.  A minute later, Cena does it again and gets it right.  Sheamus hits Cena and Morrison with a slingshot shoulder block to the outside.  Orton and Sheamus brawl.  Orton hits a knee drop for 2.  Sheamus drops Orton and throws Cena and Morrison back into the ring.  R-Truth enters the match and is met by Sheamus.  Truth avoids the shot and beats down Sheamus in the pod.  Sheamus takes a hip toss onto the floor, which had to suck.  Truth runs wild in the ring.  Sheamus comes back in and kills Truth with the brogue kick for the pin in 17:32.  Morrison beats on Sheamus.  Orton throws Morrison through the glass again.  Orton and Cena brawl.  Orton drops him with a dropkick for 2.  Punk enters the match again.  Orton lies in wait.  Cena tries to give Orton the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton counters with the RKO on the floor.  Sheamus hits Orton with the brogue kick.  Punk drops Sheamus with a high kick, then covers Orton for 2.  In the ring, Punk humps the mat to mock Orton, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 21:34.  Punk runs around attack people until he’s dropped by Sheamus.  Morrison beats up Sheamus and climbs to the top of a pod.  Sheamus trips him and climps up there with him for some damn reason.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Morrison counters and kicks him down to the mat.  Morrison climbs along the roof of the cage and comes down onto Sheamus with a cross body for the pin in 25:18.  Cena makes his comeback on Punk and goes for the Attitude Adjustment on the floor.  Morrison dives onto both of them to prevent that from happening.  Punk covers Cena for 2.  Cena avoids the running knee strike and Morrison puts himself through the glass.  He really likes going through that glass.  Punk goes to work on Cena and locks in a figure-four headscissors.  Cena stands up with Punk on his shoulders.  Morrison comes off the top rope with a Doomsday Device clothesline!  Cover gets 2.  Morrison covers Cena for 2 for good measure.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Morrison.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick.  Punk dives to the outside to take out Cena.  Cover gets 2.  Punk catapults Cena into one of the pods.  He tries to do the same to Morrison, who catches himself and hits the Flying Chuck off the cage.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but Punk avoids it and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 32:52.  Cena gives Punk the Attitude Adjustment onto the floor for the pin in 33:12.  Enjoyable match.

Fun, enjoyable, solid show.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/18/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  Tonight is the 600th episode of Smackdown!  Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Tonight, Dolph Ziggler undeservedly gets the World title handed to him.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Booker T are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Edge comes out as World Champion for the 12-man tag match, which makes no sense given the angle, which also makes no sense.  With this degree of double negative already, I’m pretty sure this show doesn’t exist anymore.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge, Randy Orton, John Morrison, R-Truth, Rey Mysterio Jr., & John Cena vs. CM Punk, King Sheamus, Wade Barrett, Drew McIntyre, Kane, & Dolph Ziggler.  Sheamus and Edge are to start, but McIntyre asks for the tag.  Edge and McIntyre lock up.  McIntyre backs Edge into the corner and beats on him.  Edge retaliates in kind, then boots McIntyre in the face.  Truth tags in and beats up McIntyre.  Ziggler tags in and gets hip tossed by Truth.  Orton tags in to a big reaction and beats up Orton.  Cena tags in to a mixed reaction and brawls with Ziggler.  Cena gets the better of it and tags in Morrison.  Ziggler kicks Morrison’s leg out from under him and puts the boots to him.  Ziggler counters the Starship Pain with a sweet reverse powerslam for 2.  Commercials.  Sheamus suplexes Morrison for 2.  Punk tags in to major boos and works over Morrison.  Mysterio gets the tag and runs wild on Punk.  Rebound cross body gets 2.  Punk stupidly tries a sunset flip and gets kicked in the head.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio counters the Go 2 Sleep with a headscissors and goes for the 619.  Punk catches his legs and hits a backbreaker for 2.  Kane tags in and beats up Mysterio.  Kane applies a bear hug.  Mysterio fights out and fights back.  Mysterio avoids the chokeslam.  Kane throws him out of the ring, where he’s met by a clothesline from Punk.  Commercials.  Barrett hits a backbreaker on Mysterio for 2.  Sheamus cuts Mysterio off from making the tag and puts a beating on him.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2.  Barrett tags in to continue the beating.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold into the turnbuckles and follows with a moonsault body block.  Edge and Ziggler tag in.  Edge runs wild and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes for the spear, but is intercepted by a brogue kick from Sheamus.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on Sheamus.  Kane chokeslams Morrison.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Kane.  Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep on Cena.  Orton hits the RKO on Punk.  McIntyre hits the Future Shock on Orton.  Truth hits the What’s Up on Barrett.  Mysterio hits a 619 on Ziggler and Barrett.  Edge spears Ziggler for the pin in 20:15.  Fun match.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and screeches that Edge is stripped of the title for winning the match clean with the spear last week despite Vickie trying to fuck him.  She orders him to surrender the belt so she can give it to Ziggler as a reward for losing clean over and over again.  She blames Edge for taking out Teddy Long and fires him.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, Vickie Guerrero screeched about something or other.

They show Rey Mysterio breaking Cody Rhodes’ face last month.

They air a pre-taped interview with Todd Grisham and Cody Rhodes, who is wearing a protective face mask.  He says he’ll be at Smackdown next week, because he’s not there tonight even though he is.

Divas tag match next!  Commercials!

Clips from the first episode of Smackdown.

Michelle McCool has joined the commentary team to make my ears bleed.

WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix vs. Layla & Maryse.  Maryse slams Beth.  Beth kicks her ass.  Layla tags in and tries to beat up Beth, but fails.  Eve tags in and runs wild on Layla.  Eve has good moves, but looks awkward in the ring.  McCool gets on the apron.  Beth attacks her supposedly injured leg.  Layla and Maryse give Eve a double kick to the gut.  Layla gets the pin in 2:28.  This sucked.

Next, Rock’s promo from Raw!  Commercials.

They waste 11 minutes of TV time with segments of The Rock’s promo from Raw.

Earlier tonight, Edge was fired!

Tonight, Dolph Ziggler is handed the World Championship!  Lou Thesz turns over in his grave!  Jim Cornette throws a brick through his TV!  Commercials!

Clips from the 9/13/01 Smackdown, the first big public gathering after the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).  They lock up and do some go behinds.  Miz works Kofi’s arm.  Miz gets a side headlock and a shoulder block.  Kofi hits an arm drag and cranks on Miz’s arm.  Kofi hits a cross body for 2.  Kofi hits another cross body for 1.  Kofi hits a third cross body for 2.  Kofi goes back to work on Miz’s arm.  Miz gets a cheap shot and pounds on Miz in the corner.  Miz takes out Kofi’s leg.  Commercials.  Miz keeps the beating going.  Snap suplex gets 2.  Kofi gets a backslide for 2.  They trade blows.  Kofi hits a Frankensteiner and a dropkick for 2.  Yes, the Frankensteiner set up the dropkick.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and the diving cross body for 2.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  Kofi makes his comeback and hits the Boom Drop.  He goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Alberto Del Rio comes out to distract him.  Miz gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Kofi reverses it for 2.  Riley distracts the ref.  Del Rio whips Kofi with his scarf.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 10:09.  Not very good.  They just didn’t seem to click at all.  Del Rio celebrates his amoral victory.

Some bullshit about how Smackdown has more shows than any show ever except for Gunsmoke and Raw.

Tonight, Ziggler gets the belt for no reason.  Next, Santino & Kozlov vs. The Corre for the Tag Team Championship!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Flashback to Eddie Guerrero celebrating his WWE Championship win in 2004.

They show The Corre’s beatdown of Santino, Kozlov, and The Big Show last week.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of the The Corre.  Kozlov throws Gabriel around a bit.  Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson come out.  Gabriel and Slater take advantage of the distraction to cut Kozlov off and work him over.  Santino gets the tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino hits Gabriel with the Cobra.  Barrett and Jackson run in to cause the DQ in 2:00.  Big Show makes the save and cleans house.  Zeke teases a showdown with Show, but bitches down.

Flashback to the awesome supermarket brawl between Booker T and Stone Cold Steve Austin on 12/13/01.  Booker laughs at the commentary table.

Guys come out with the red flooring for the title presentation.  Commercials!

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler are in the ring.  Vickie screeches and awards Ziggler the World Heavyweight Championship.  The returning Teddy Long comes out and tells Vickie to STFU.  Vickie cracks and says Dolph is the one who took Teddy out.  Teddy says Ziggler is going to defend the title RIGHT NOW against… Edge!  Commercials!

2/21/11!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Edge.  Edge gets rolling with clotheslines and the face plant thing.  Ziggler leap frogs the spear and Edge hits the turnbuckle.  Ziggler beats up Edge on the outside.  Back inside, cover gets 1.  Ziggler grabs a chin lock.  Ziggler clamps on the sleeper hold.  Edge fights out.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser and goes for the Zig Zag.  Edge holds onto the ropes to avoid it and hits the spear for the pin in 3:02 to regain the title.  Teddy Long comes back out and fires Ziggler.  Edge sings the “Na na na, goodbye” song as confetti falls.

Okay show.  Now I’m going to rant for a minute.

This whole situation with the title was stupid fucking bullshit.  This whole feud has done nothing except bury Ziggler under the earth and give Edge’s title count a +1.  The angle started with Ziggler getting pinned clean twice in a row, then backdooring his way into the #1 contendership.  He lost clean as a sheet at the Rumble.  He lost clean as a sheet last week.  He lost clean as a sheet tonight, got handed the title, lost clean as a sheet again 5 minutes later and got fired.  He’s a hell of a talent, and those whole fucking feud has done nothing but bury him.  This shit has reached TNA depths of stupidity.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 1/21/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011 by Grappleholic

Highlights of Big Show/Wade Barrett from last week, with the formation of the new Barrett/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Ezekiel Jackson group.

Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, and Heath Slater come to the ring.  Their group is called The Corre.  They all introduce themselves.  Teddy Long comes out to bitch at them for being assholes.  Barrett tries to explain why the Corre is good for Smackdown.  They banter for a bit.  Teddy insists that they play by the rules, then leaves.  Alberto Del Rio comes out to tell The Corre that they’re welcome here, but Smackdown is his show.  He cuts his usual promo about it being his destiny to win the Royal Rumble.  Insta-commercials.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth.  Del Rio beats up Truth.  Truth hits a clothesline and Del Rio bails.  Truth beats him up on the outside.  Back inside, Truth avoids an elbow drop and covers for 2.  Truth works Del Rio’s arm.  Cut to backstage, where Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero have found Teddy Long unconscious.  Truth keeps beating up Del Rio.  Truth hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner, then clotheslines Del Rio out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Truth boots Del Rio in the face and goes to the middle rope.  Del Rio pulls him down.  Cover gets 2.  Del Rio works Truth’s shoulder, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Del Rio beats on Truth.  Cut to the back, where the paramedics are taking Teddy away.  I spot Tony Garea.  Truth makes his comeback and hits a front suplex for 2.  Del Rio rallies and hits an enzuigiri for 2.  Cole says Teddy Long has suffered trauma to the back of the head.  Truth hits a hip toss.  Rodriguez trips Truth.  Del Rio pulls Truth’s arm over the top rope, then gets the Minoru Special for the submission (6:42 shown).  This was pretty much just a backdrop for the angle with Teddy.

Teddy Long is loaded into an ambulance.  Vickie Guerrero, Dolph Ziggler, JTG, Rosa Mendez, Hornswoggle, Curt Hawkins, Michael Tarver, Trent Barreta, and Kaitlyn are seen looking on.

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come back into the office to find The Corre.  They say they had nothing to do with what happened to Teddy and offer their assistance.  She wants one of them to face Edge tonight and soften him up for Ziggler.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Tonight, Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Beth Phoenix.  They lock up.  Phoenix overpowers Layla.  Layla lands some kicks.  Phoenix does big swing and hits a clothesline for 2.  Layla hits a nifty rope walk armbreaker.  Cover gets 2.  Layla works Phoenix’s arm and applies a nifty hold.  Phoenix stands up with Layla and drops her to break it.  Phoenix makes her comeback.  Phoenix hits the slingshot suplex for 2.  Layla attacks Beth’s injured arm again.  Beth hits a backbreaker and the Glam Slam for the pin in 3:32.  It wasn’t awful.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way!

Tulsa!

Stand Up For WWE BS.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes grabs a side headlock, then hits a clothesline.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors.  Rhodes gets the advantage and works Mysterio’s knee.  Rhodes sends Mysteri outside.  Mysterio avoids a baseball slide dropkick, then hits a drop toehold into the steps.  Back inside, Mysterio hits the diving seated senton for 2.  Mysterio hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Rhodes hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Mysterio rallies and hits the 619 and a diving splash for the pin in 4:02.  Fine little match.  Rhodes looks to have a broken nose or something.

Todd Grisham tries to give an update on Teddy Long.  Alex Riley interrupts.  He and WWE Champion The Miz are on Smackdown tonight.  Cole mizzes his pants.

Tonight, Edge vs. a member of The Corre!

The trainer tells Cody Rhodes that his nose is broken.  Rhodes looks in the mirror and freaks out.

Non-Title Amateur Wrestling Challenge: Jack Swagger vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  3 minute time limit.  Swagger gets a takedown.  Kofi escapes.  They keep doing boring amateur wrestling for a while.  Swagger dominates.  Kofi makes a comeback at the end, but Swagger wins 10-9.  Swagger jumps Kofi after the match.  Kofi kicks his ass, gives him the Trouble In Paradise, and hits a diving cross body, just because the crowd usually pops so big for it.

They show the brawl between Edge and Dolph Ziggler on The Cutting Edge last week.

Tonight, Edge vs. ?!

The announcer hype how the Smackdown ratings have gone up or something.

Trent Barreta vs. Drew McIntyre.  They show Barreta’s upset victory over McIntyre last week and the subsequent backstage attack and whatever is going on with Drew and Kelly Kelly.  McIntyre hits a belly to belly suplex, then pounds on Barreta.  McIntyre hits a snap suplex for 2.  Barreta rallies and hits a dropkick.  Barreta goes for a springboard rana, but McIntyre turns it into a powerbomb.  Cover gets 2.  McIntyre hits a hip toss off the top rope for the pin in 2:07.  McIntyre offers a handshake after the match, but Barreta decks him like a dick.  McIntyre righteously kicks his ass.  Kelly Kelly comes out and orders him to stop.  Hey, Barreta had it coming this time!  McIntyre tries to explain himself, but the dumb bimbo goes to check on Barreta instead.  Sorry, but this is a case of the heel being right.

Tonight, Edge vs. ?!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Cole mizzes all over himself.  Miz cuts a promo.  They show him and Riley beating down Randy Orton on Raw.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out.  They banter.  Riley talks shit to Edge and gets speared.  Miz acts like he wants to fight, then bitches down.  The main event is NEXT!

Edge is in the ring.  The Corre come out.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and screeches in her horrible voice.  Dolph Ziggler comes out to do commentary.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Justin Gabriel (w/ Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, & Heath Slater).  Edge does some arm locks.  Gabriel throws a forearm.  This apparently pisses Edge off, because he starts kicking Gabriel’s ass.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Gabriel gets the advantage and beats up Edge.  Edge rallies and sends Gabriel to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Gabriel gets a 2 count on Edge.  Gabriel hits a side Russian leg sweep and transitions into a weird hold.  Gabriel hits an STO and goes up top.  Edge wakes up and catches him with a dropkick.  Edge gives Gabriel an Edge-O-Matic against the ropes.  Edge goes up top.  Gabriel cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge goes for the spear.  Guys start getting on the apron.  Edge decks Barrett and Slater, but Jackson gives Edge a lariat.  Gabriel gets the pin (7:21 shown).  That’s a hell of a lariat.  Okayish match.  The Corre surrounds Edge and commence to beating him down.  They all give Edge their finishes and leave.  Ziggler places a foot on Edge and stands tall as the show ends.

Okay show.  It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t anything great either.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 1/14/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 14, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Big Show/Wade Barrett hype video, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, The Cutting Edge with Dolph Ziggler!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio, who cuts a promo insulting the fans and saying he’ll win the Rumble and go to WrestleMania.  R-Truth comes out to tell him a bunch of superficial reasons why that won’t happen.  “Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out and says he’ll win the Rumble.  Well now they’re just getting ridiculous.  Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out to talk about the superficial reasons he’s going to win the Rumble.  How many more guys are they going to bring out?  Everybody banters, then starts fighting.  Teddy Long comes out to make the tag match for NEXT!

Alberto Del Rio & Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. & R-Truth.  Rhodes beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio beats up Rhodes.  Del Rio tags in to renew his war with Mysterio and puts a beating on him.  Del Rio sends Mysterio outside and beats him up up the floor.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Rhodes tags in and missing a diving knee drop.  Mysterio tries to go up top, but Rhodes cuts him off and tries to set up a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  R-Truth and Del Rio tag in.  Truth runs wild.  Sit-out front suplex gets 2.  Truth clotheslines Del Rio out of the ring, then sends Rhodes to the floor too.  Mysterio takes both opponents out with an Asai moonsault.  Insta-commercials.  Del Rio fights out of a side headlock from Truth.  Rhodes tags in and works over Truth.  Truth drops him on his face and beats him up.  Rhodes takes advantage of a distraction from Del Rio to deck Truth and get the upper hand.  The heels get the heat on Truth.  Truth gives Rhodes an electric chair drop and makes the hot tag to Mysterio.  Mysterio runs wild and hits a rebound cross body for 2.  They do a sweet cradle exchange.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Truth takes out Del Rio.  Rhodes takes out Truth.  Rhodes goes for the Alabama Slam, but Mysterio counters with a headscissors and hits the 619 and the springboard splash for the pin 10:30 shown).  Good little match.

Tonight, Show vs. Barrett!  Plus, the Cutting Edge!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Str8 Outta Brooklyn with JTG.  He talks about stuff.  I have no idea.

They show Wade Barrett attacking The Big Show during the four-way match last week.

Todd Grisham interviews Wade Barrett.  He’s going to take out the biggest, baddest dude on Smackdown because he’s Julius Caesar, or something.

Ezekiel Jackson returns SOON!

Trent Barreta vs. Drew McIntyre.  They show Barreta killing himself with a Space Flying Tiger Drop 2 weeks ago, and McIntyre jumping him like a dick after the match.  Barreta is good and pissed off now and beats up McIntyre.  The referee gets in his way, allowing McIntyre to kill him with a big boot and beat the shit out of him.  McIntyre pulls Barreta to the floor and rams his head into the announce table.  The referee looks dumbfounded.  McIntyre brings Barreta back into the ring and beats the shit out of him some more.  McIntyre lands a nice dropkick for 2, then applies a shoulder hold.  Barreta lands on his feet from a German suplex attempt and makes his comeback.  He goes for his fancy DDT, but McIntyre avoids it and hits a belly to belly suplex.  McIntyre tries to press slam Barreta to the floor.  Barreta counters and surprises McIntyre with a sunset flip for the pin in 3:26.  Holy upset, Batman!

The Big Show is headed our way!

Drew McIntyre jumps Trent Barreta backstage.  Kelly Kelly catches him.  McIntyre tries to make excuses.  Even she’s not dumb enough to buy it.

The Big Show vs. Wade Barrett.  Show beats the shit out of Barrett.  Barrett takes out Show’s knee and drops him with a big boot.  Barrett works Show’s knee.  Show rallies and beats up Barrett some more.  Barrett twice avoids the chokeslam.  Show goes for it a third time.  Heat Slater and Justin Gabriel appear to cause the DQ in 2:42.  Ezekiel Jackson appears and faces off with Show.  Barrett, Slater, and Gabriel jump Show.  He fights them off.  Jackson gets in the ring and clotheslines Show.  Slater gives Show a Complete Shot.  Jackson body slams Show.  Gabriel delivers the 450 splash.  The new quartet stands tall.

Moments ago, ^ WENT DOWN.

Michelle McCool (w/ Layla) vs. Beth Phoenix.  They lock up.  Phoenix picks skinny bitch up, rams her into the corner, and kicks her ass.  McCool avoids a charge in the corner and attacks Beth’s knee.  McCool works the knee.  Phoenix gets a schoolgirl for 2.  McCool recovers and keeps working the knee.  Phoenix uses the injured leg to power McCool over the top rope to the floor.  Back inside, Beth makes her comeback.  Beth channels Tully Blanchard and hits the slingshot suplex for 2.  Beth goes for the Glam Slam.  McCool kicks the injured knee and goes for a big boot.  Beth says “Fuck that” and goes her move again.  McCool counters into a front cradle.  Beth cuts it back and gets the pin in 4:06.  Not a bad little match.

Tonight, The Cutting Edge!

Birmingham!

Shawn Michaels Hall of Fame video.

Teddy Long bickers with Vickie Guerrero (w/ Dolph Ziggler) about what happened last week.  Teddy gets a phone call and goes to investigate something.  Ziggler and Vickie make up from their spat last week.

WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston is headed our way!

WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston comes out and cuts a promo about FINALLY regaining the Intercontinental Championship last week.  Jack Swagger interrupts and puts himself over.  He talks about his ankle lock for a while.  Kofi challenges him to a match.  I assumed that was the idea anyway, since a match was announced and there was a referee in the ring.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger.  Kofi beats up Swagger.  Kofi jumps at Swagger in the corner.  Swagger meets him with boots, then sends him out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger puts the boots to Kofi.  Swagger cranks on Kofi’s arm and shoulder.  Swagger hits a springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger keeps the heat going.  Kofi avoids a second Vader Bomb and rallies.  Swagger ducks the Trouble In Paradise and hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Kofi hits the S.O.S. for the pin out of nowhere (5:00 shown).  Swagger kicked out just after the three count.  Okayish match.  These two just don’t mesh well and I’ve seen them wrestle each other about 5 million times.

The Cutting Edge is NEXT!

World Heavyweight Champion Edge is out to do the Cutting Edge.  He says he dealt with one monster (Kane) last week, and now he has to deal with another (Vickie).  Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out.  Edge and Vickie banter.  Ziggler threatens to leave.  Edge insults Vickie some more.  Ziggler talks about how great Vickie is.  They show a video of Edge kissing Alicia Fox years ago that played during Edge & Vickie’s “wedding.”  They show a clip of Ziggler kissing Kaitlyn and getting caught by Primo and AJ 2 months ago.  Ziggler jumps Edge.  Edge records and kicks him in the face.  Ziggler bails.  Vickie screams and slaps Edge repeatedly.  Then she screams some more and jumps on his back.  Edge sets her down, then thinks about spearing her.  Ziggler pulls Edge out of the ring and and gives him the Zig Zag into the steps.  Ziggler and Vickie make out.  Fin.

Pretty solid show.