Archive for Teddy Long

WWE SummerSlam 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2012 by Grappleholic

New WWE open, which debuted on the 1,000th Raw.  Intro video for the 25th SummerSlam, which isn’t the 25th anniversary, but is billed as such because WWE doesn’t know how anniversaries work.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Los Angeles!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream at us.  I guess that means Ziggler vs. Jericho is up first.  They show clips of Ziggler winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match last month.  Jericho comes out and they show a clip of Ziggler injuring Jericho’s ribs this past Smackdown.  Justin Roberts is a ring announcer.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho.  Jericho is sporting taped ribs from the aforementioned attack.  Ziggler runs around the ring and Jericho gives chase.  Back inside, Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and beats him up a bit.  Ziggler does a drop down and a leap frog, but Jericho catches him with a chop.  Ziggler avoids a suplex and attacks the injured ribs.  Jericho gets a reprieve by back body dropping Ziggler to the floor.  He goes for his rebound dropkick to the apron, but fails and eats the floor as Ziggler makes it back into the ring.  Ziggler continues to punish the ribs.  Vickie is obnoxious at ringside.  Ziggler hits a Rude Awakening, complete with gyrating hips, then pulls a Jericho classic on foot cover for 2.  Jericho gets whipped into the ropes, but catches Ziggler with a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler charges Jericho in the corner, eats it, and Jericho gets a brief flurry.  Ziggler charges the corner again and eats Jericho’s boot.  Jericho follows with a diving elbow smash.  Ziggler sends Jericho into the post, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, fails, but lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Ziggler avoids Jericho in the corner, jumps on his back, and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Jericho backs Ziggler into the corner to escape.  Ziggler kicks him in the ribs and goes up top.  Jericho cuts him off, pounds on him, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner~!  Delayed cover gets 2.  Ziggler catches Jericho out of nowhere with a swank DDT for 2.  They trade shots.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault.  Ziggler catches him in the injured ribs with raised knees, then hits the Zig Zag, but Jericho kicks out!  Jericho catches Ziggler with the Codebreaker.  Ziggler rolls to the floor.  Jericho throws Ziggler back into the ring.  Vickie grabs Jericho’s leg, allowing Ziggler to get an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho sends Ziggler into the post and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Ziggler taps in 13:06.  Yes, Jericho won, but is this really “the big one?”  It made sense when Jericho did this angle with The Rock in 2001 and won the World title, but is the opening match of SummerSlam the same thing?  Good match, though.

Slim Jim commercial.

Los Angeles!

They show Brock Lesnar destroying Shawn Michaels on Raw last week.

Matt Striker interviews Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.  Well, Paul does all of the talking.

Lillian Garcia is also a ring announcer.  The Spanish announcers, Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez, are present as well.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Kane has his dukes up, which amuses me.  Bryan kicks at the larger man’s legs.  Kane catches a kick and throws him down.  Bryan avoids an elbow and kicks him some more.  Kane punches him a bit.  Bryan backflips off the top rope, then gets slammed for 2.  Kane stomps Bryan in the corner.  Fans are chanting for Bryan.  Bryan fails at a reverse cradle and eats a big boot.  Cover gets 2 for Kane.  Bryan kicks at Kane’s knee some more.  Kane nonchalantly choke throws Bryan out of the ring.  Bryan gets back in as Kane comes out and takes him out with a tope suicide.  Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan lands more kicks as the crowd chants “YES!”  Kane ducks a critical blow and lands a clothesline.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam.  Bryan counters out and rolls to the apron, pulls Kane’s head over the top rope, then comes back in to eat a punch.  Bryan slaps Kane defiantly.  Kane beats the crap out of him in the corner until the referee forces a break.  Bryan takes the opportunity and goes on the offensive.  He goes for the LeBell/Yes/No Lock, fails, and settles for kicking Kane in the chest.  He gets annoyed at the “YES!” chants and goes for the diving headbutt.  Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam.  Instead of covering, he signals for the Tombstone.  Bryan counters it into an inside cradle for the pin in 8:03!  Bryan wins!  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun little match.

Kane, pissed that lost, rampages around backstage.  Josh Matthews tries to interview him, but Kane grabs him by the throat, yells “WHERE?!  IS?!  HE?!” and throws him away, then continues his rampage.

Don’t drink and drive.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  I think Mysterio’s costume is supposed to be Batman.  They lock up.  Miz lands a shoulder block.  Mysterio sits up and kind of stares at him.  They do a bit of wrestling that ends in Rey getting a near fall and Miz taking a quick powder.  Miz comes back in and gets to stompin’.  Rey hits a flying headscissors.  Miz throws Rey out of the ring.  Rey slides back in as Miz slides out, then dropkicks Miz through the ropes.  Miz sends Rey torso-first into the barricade.  Back inside, Miz goes to work.  Rey counters a backdrop and gets a 2 count.  Miz catches Rey with that lucha-style backbreaker that Jericho does on Rey for 2.  Miz beats on Rey some more.  Rey tries to make a comeback, but eats a clothesline, which gets a 2 count for Miz.  Miz hits his corner clothesline and goes up top, but Rey dropkicks Miz, crotching h im on the top turbuckle.  Rey hits the diving seated senton and goes for a rana, but Miz catches him with a powerbomb for 2.  Rey ducks a kick and gets a cradle for 2, then kicks Miz in the head for another 2.  Combine the two, and he got a 4 count, so he almost won under Canadian rules.  Rey hits a whirly DDT for 2.  Rey goes up top again, but gets caught.  Rey fights Miz off and hits a diving headscissors, which puts Miz into 619 position.  Rey hits the 619 and goes for the diving splash, but Miz avoids it.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey turns it into a cradle for 2.  Miz launches Rey into the turnbuckles, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 9:10.  It was okay, but I never really got into it.

Plug for the WWE iPhone/Android app.  I downloaded it.  It’s not that interesting.

Teddy Long and Eve Torres walk out of the GM’s office and talk about how quirky AJ Lee is.  They walk away and WWE Champion CM Punk walks into the office.  He complains to AJ about being in a Triple Threat Match tonight.  She just cocks her head and stares off into space, ignoring him.

Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship match.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio.  They lock up.  Del Rio backs Sheamus into the corner.  Repeat.  They tumble out of the ring together and brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Sheamus hits the Finlay Roll for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but fails.  He ends up getting Del Rio up on his shoulders as Del Rio exposes the turnbuckle.  Sheamus counters the Minoru Special and misses the Brogue Kick.  Del Rio kicks Sheamus off the apron, then sends him knee first into the steps.  Back inside, Del Rio clamps on a rear chin lock.  Sheamus escapes and goes for another neckbreaker, but Del Rio kicks him in the knee, then in the head for 2.  They fight some more.  Del Rio is wearing black gear that looks reall weird on him for some reason.  He taunts Sheamus by doing the “Brogue!” taunt.  He teases a Brogue Kick, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Del Rio sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post.  Sheamus tries to go up top, but gets cut off.  Del Rio hits an arm breaker (pulling the knees into the arm) off the top for 2.  There has to be a better name for that move.  Del Rio goes for his move, but Sheamus counters.  Del Rio counters the counter and hits the Minoru Special.  Sheamus powers up and slams Del Rio down.  Sheamus hits the White Noise (Schwein) for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Del Rio avoids him.  Sheamus clubbers Del Rio in the chest.  Why hasn’t the referee fixed that exposed turnbuckle?  Oh, I see.  Del Rio drops Sheamus into the exposed buckle, then hits an enzuigiri, but Sheamus kicks out!  Del Rio roughs up Ricardo just because he’s a dick.  Sheamus hits Del Rio with Ricardo’s shoe, then hits the White Noise for the pin in 11:24, even though Del Rio’s foot was on the bottom rope.  That’s actually the finish?  Okay then.  Del Rio and Ricardo bitch at the referee, and rightfully so.  This match did not click with me at all.

Plug for the National Guard, or rather, how great WWE is for supporting the National Guard.

Cole and Lawler plug Night of Champions.

On the pre-show, Triple H told referee Scott Armstrong to not DQ or count anyone out tonight in his match with Brock Lesnar.

Last week on Raw, the Prime Time Players beat up R-Truth while Kofi Kingston was in China, then Touted about it.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (c) vs. The Prime Time Players.  Truth beats up Young to start.  O’Neil tags in and drops Truth with a boot, barks, and covers for 2.  Kofi tags in and keeps O’Neil off balance with his speed.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Young distracts him.  Heel chicanery on the outside leads to the Players getting the advantage.  Kofi plays face in peril.  Young looks like he’s trying to get Kofi in some retarded triangle choke.  It fails completely, but he continues to put a beating on Kofi.  O’Neil tags in and applies an abdominal stretch.  Kofi turns a spinning slam into a spike DDT.  Truth gets the hot tag and runs wild on Darren Young.  Truth hits a front suplex.  Cover, but O’Neil saves.  O’Neil throws Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi skins the cat, low bridges him out, and takes him out with a dive.  Truth thinks about a dive, but Young schoolboys him for 2.  Young goes for something and fails, and Truth hits the Paydirt, whatever he’s calling it this week, for the pin in 7:07.  Players are nothing without AW.  This match was pretty close to nothing, too.

Axxess clips.

Punk/Cena/Show hype video.

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show.  Big Show beats up everyone to start.  Punk seems to be channeling Bret Hart with his pink gear.  Cena and Punk unite to try to suplex Show, but Show suplexes both of them at the same time.  Show wins on them some more.  Cena gets tossed out of the ring by Show and Punk makes a comeback until he stupidly goes for the Go 2 Sleep and fails.  Cena tries to give Show the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk pushes them over.  Punk covers Cena, but Show saves.  Show beats up Punk some more and throws Cena out of the ring again.  Punk avoids Show in the corner and goes for a springboard cross body, but Show catches him and hits the Final Cut.  Show signals for the KO punch, but Cena reappears and cuts him off.  Show spears Cena for 2.  Show goes for a Vader Bomb onto both opponents, but Punk avoids it and Cena takes the full brunt.  Punk breaks Show’s cover.  Show throws Punk out of the ring, then goes after Cena on the other side.  Punk tries a dive, but Show catches him and launches him into the ropes from the outside.  Awesome.  Show and Cena go at it in the ring.  Punk pulls Show’s head over the top rope, allowing Cena to hit a backdrop suplex.  LA crowd doesn’t like Cena.  Cena signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Punk cuts him off.  Punk hits the diving elbow drop on Show.  Cover, but Show throws him across the ring at 2.  Punk kicks Show in the head and locks in the Koji Clutch, of all things.  Show breaks out.  Punk takes a powder.  Cena hits Show with a shoulder block and locks in the STF.  Show stands and backs Cena into the corner.  Cena goes for a dive, but Show catches and slams him.  Punk drops Show with a diving lariat and hits him with 3 running knees to the corner, but Show counters the bulldog.  Cena hits Show with the diving Fameasser, but ends up on the apron.  Punk locks Show in the Koji Clutch.  Cena also applies the STF.  Show taps.  The referee calls for the bell, but there are 2 winners.  Cena and Punk argue with the referee.  Raw GM AJ Lee skips out and rules that the match must continue.  Show immediately chokeslams both me.  Cover on Cena gets 2.  Cover on Punk gets 2.  Cena ducks the KO punch and hits Show with the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk throws Cena out of the ring and pins Show in 14:28.  Very enjoyable match.  Punk celebrates.

Los Angeles!

Celebrities are here!  Including former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette and WrestleMania participant Maria Menounos (sporting a Bob Backlund shirt).

Trailer for WWE Films’ latest, The Day.

On the preshow, Antonio Cesaro beat Santino Marella for the WWE United States Championship, with help from Aksana.

Kevin Ruldolf (who?) performs the SummerSlam theme song.  People Dance like idiots.  The divas come out to dance: Tamina, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Aksana, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Cameron, Naomi, Layla, Rosa Mendez, and Alicia Fox.

Los Angeles.

Triple H/Lesnar hype video.

Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H.  Brock immediately powers Triple H into the corner.  Hunter comes back with punches.  Brock repeats and goes for the Kimura.  Triple H counters.  Brock beats him in the corner some more and goes for it again.  He gets a standing version, but Hunter is in the ropes.  Triple H fights back and clotheslines Brock out of the ring.  Brock comes back in and beats up Triple H in the corner some more.  Hunter lands a knee lift and clotheslines Brock out of the ring again.  Lesnar looks irked.  Brock comes back in and takes off his gloves.  It’s a bare knuckle fight now!  Brock gets a double leg takedown and pummels Triple H with a few punches.  Hunter bails, selling a punch to the back of the head.  They brawl outside.  Brock gives Hunter a hammerlock slam onto the announce table.  The brawl some more back inside.  Brock delivers another hammerlock slam.  Brock continues working the arm.  Triple H counters an F-5 attempt, but Brock hits him with a BIG German suplex.  Brock stomps Triple H’s arm again.  Triple H tries to bail, gets caught, and pulls Brock against the top rope.  Hunter manages to score with a DDT.  Brock immediately goes after the arm again.  I always enjoy a hammerlock slam, and Brock is dishing them out liberally tonight.  They go outside and Lesnar sends Triple H into the post.  They wreck the Spanish announce table.  Brock actually jumps off of it and hits Triple H with a big chop.  Back in the ring, Triple H tries to fight back.  Lesnar gets an inside cradle of all things for 2.  Lesnar hits a clothesline and goes for a suplex, but Hunter counters and suplexes him.  Lesnar clotheslines the turnbuckle.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but fails, gets whipped into the corner, and does the Michaels flip out of the ring.  Brock takes a shot into the announce table on his stomach and starts dry heaving.  The announcers talk about his issues with diverticulitis.  Hunter goes after the midsection.  He hits some knee lifts to the stomach.  Triple H hits the spinebuster and goes for the Pedigree.  Lesnar counters and goes for the F-5.  Triple H counters and hits the Pedigree, but Lesnar kicks out.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Lesnar hits him square in the balls.  The referee, per Hunter’s request, is letting it go.  Lesnar hits the F-5, but Triple H kicks out.  Lesnar locks on the standing Kimura again.  Triple H tries to fight out, but Lesnar goes to the ground with it.  Triple H gets the ropes, but the ref isn’t enforcing the rules.  Hunter fights out of the hold.  Hunter hits the Pedigree and goes for the cover, but Lesnar gets the Kimura again.  Triple H taps in 18:45.  I’m absolutely shocked that they did the right thing and put Lesnar over.  The match was an intense brawl, but not on the level of Lesnar/Cena.  I’ll give it a thumbs slightly up.  Lesnar leaves.  Hunter refuses medical attention.  Fans chant “YOU TAPPED OUT!”, which is probably not what WWE was going for with this.  Hunter mouths “I’m sorry” and leaves to a mixture of boos and polite applause.

This show started well, dipped really low in the middle, peaked with the triple threat match, and ended okay.  I’d say the show as a whole is thumbs in the middle.

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WWE Extreme Rules 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2012 by Grappleholic

WWE open, awesome PPV opening video, pryo and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.  Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez are the Spanish announcers.

They show the shenanigans leading up to Kane vs. Randy Orton involving their respective fathers, Paul Bearer and Bob Orton Jr.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Kane vs. Randy Orton.  They brawl.  Orton gets punched off the top to the floor.  Cover on the floor gets 2.  Kane brings in a leg pipe.  Orton cuts him off and hits him with the pipe a few times, knocking him back to the floor on the last shot.  They fight in the crowd.  Orton knees Kane in the face for 2.  Kane slams Orton on the concrete for 2.  More crowd brawling.  They end up near the set.  Orton lands a dropkick for 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and boots Orton in the face for 2.  They brawl backstage.  They end up in a room with some geeks.  Zack Ryder attacks Kane, which only pisses him off.  Kane goozles Ryder, but Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  Back into the hallway.  Kane throws something at Orton and covers for 2.  Back into the arena.  Back into the ring.  Orton drops Kane with a clothesline and hits a powerslam.  Orton retrieves a chair from underneath the ring and attacks Kane with it.  Back outside, where Orton clears off the announce table.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Orton prevents it.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER off the table to the floor!  Cover gets 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and sends Orton into the post.  Cover gets 2.  Back inside, Kane goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex.  Cover gets 2.  Orton humps the mat.  Kane hits the chokeslam, but Orton kicks out!  Kane bitches at the referee.  Kane goes for the Tombstone on the chair.  Orton counts out and hits the RKO sort of on the chair for the pin in 16:45.  Fun match.

John Laurinaitis and Eve Torres are backstage with the Raw Roulette wheel.  Teddy Long brings in champagne.  He’s being humiliated after he lost his GM job at WrestleMania.  Laurinaitis gets a phone call from Triple H.

Chicago!

“The Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/ Hornswoggle, Cameron, & Naomi) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger).  They lock up.  Clay overpowers Ziggler.  Ziggler tries to take Clay down, but fails.  Swagger distracts Clay, allowing Ziggler to dropkick him out of the ring.  Ziggler distracts the referee while Swagger hits a shoulder block on the floor.  Back inside, Ziggler goes on the attack.  Clay goes for a knee lift, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 1.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Clay fights out.  Ziggler stays on the attack.  He goes for a suplex, but fails.  Clay throws him with a front suplex and makes his comeback.  Clay knocks Swagger on the apron.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but fails.  Clay hits a headbutt and a big splash for the pin in 4:18.  It was fine for what it was.

Earlier in the day, The Big Show and Cody Rhodes played Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal to determine the stipulation for their Intercontinental title match tonight.  It’s a Tables Match.

Lillian Garcia is the other ring announcer.

The show highlights of Show’s title victory over Rhodes at WrestleMania XXVIII.

Tables Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Big Show (c) vs. Cody Rhodes.  Show beats up Rhodes.  Rhodes bails after taking a big back body drop.  Show sets up a table on the outside and picks up Rhodes.  Rhodes slips off and chop blocks Show’s knee.  Show rallies and continues to beat and toss Rhodes around.  Show throws Rhodes and a table in the ring.  He throws Rhodes at the table in the corner, but Rhodes rebounds off of it and hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Rhodes charges, but Show shoulder blocks him.  Rhodes bails.  Show beats him up on the outside.  Show throws Rhodes back into the ring and gets in the apron.  Rhodes dropkicks Show, who steps through a table at ringside.  The referee rules Rhodes the winner in 4:35.  Stupid finish.  A pissed off Show drops Rhodes after the match, then chokeslams him through a table.  Crowd chants “One more time!”  Show press slams Rhodes out of the ring through another table.  Show leaves.  Rhodes is helped up and manages to hold up his belt while looking like he’s near tears.

Edge DVD plug.

Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan.  Will he become World Champion tonight?  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun interview.  He walks away and they show AJ sulking in the background.

Sheamus/Bryan hype video.

2/3 Falls Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan.  Sheamus is wearing a t-shirt with “18 seconds” written on it, the time in which he beat Bryan for the title at WrestleMania.  I timed it at 19 seconds, but that’s neither here nor there.  Sheamus grabs a headlock and lands a shoulder block.  They do a brief mat exchange.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Bryan avoids it.  Sheamus taunts Bryan with how close that was.  They trade arm locks.  Sheamus hits a Finlay Roll for 2.  For some reason, I don’t know the proper name for that move.  Sheamus rolls through a sunset flip and locks Bryan in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Bryan gets the ropes.  Sheamus goes for it again, but Bryan gets an inside cradle for 2.  Sheamus beats up Bryan.  Bryan lands a lariat.  Sheamus rolls to the apron and Bryan dropkicks him to the floor.  Bryan dives off the apron, but Sheamus catches him and sends him into the barricade.  Back inside, Sheamus goes up top, but Bryan crotches him and goes on the attack.  Bryan goes to work on Sheamus’ shoulder.  They trade strikes.  Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2.  More arm and shoulder torture inflicted by Bryan.  Sheamus makes his comeback and beats up Bryan.  Sheamus hits a fall away slam for 2.  Bryan gets a schoolboy for 2.  Bryan goes for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Sheamus holds on, then hits Bryan with a diving shoulder block for 2.  Sheamus tries to suplex Bryan in from the apron, but Bryan lands on his feet, then low bridges Sheamus out of the ring on the other side.  He goes for a dive, but Sheamus nails him.  Back inside, Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Bryan turns it into a cradle for 2.  Bryan goes for the Yes Lock, but Sheamus counters out repeatedly.  Bryan sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post repeatedly, then kicks the shit out of it while Sheamus is against the ropes.  This causes the referee to DQ Bryan, diving Sheamus the first fall at 14:30.  Bryan goes back on the attack and applies the Yes Lock.  Sheamus struggles, but goes out, and Bryan wins the second fall by referee stop at 16:39.  Bryan celebrates while the ringside doctor checks on Sheamus.  There are dueling “Yes!” and “No!” chants.  Sheamus tells the doctor he can continue.  Bryan charges Sheamus and eats a Brogue Kick.  Delayed cover gets 2.  They trade strikes.  Bryan lands a big kick to the head for 2.  Bryan goes up top.  Sheamus cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Bryan fights him off  and goes for a diving headbutt.  Sheamus avoids it.  Sheamus avoids Bryan in the corner and makes his comeback.  Sheamus lands another Brogue Kick for the pin in 22:55.  Very good match.

WWE YouTube channel plug.

Over the Limit commercial featuring Randy Orton.

Chicago!

Santino Marella is watching the monitor backstage.  2 jobbers are in the ring.  Great Khali comes over to watch too.

The jobbers are named Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton.  They cut a stupid promo about 2 being greater than one.

Handicap Match: Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton vs. Ryback.  There’s a smattering of “Goldberg!” chants.  The jobber with the ridiculous pants attacks Ryback to no avail.  Ryback kills him.  He orders the other jobber to tag in.  The fellow wisely demurs.  Ryback tosses him in anyway and kills him.  Ryback hits the second jobber with a backpack stunner.  Crowd chants “Finish him.”  Ryback kills ridiculous pants with sort of a Fisherman buster Samoan drop, then pins them both in 1:50.  Santino and Khali are impressed.

Matt Striker interviews WWE Champion CM Punk.  Tonight he faces Chris Jericho, who has been insulting his family, in a Chicago Street Fight.

Plug for the PPV theme song.

Punk/Jericho hype video.

Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  This is Punk’s hometown, and members of his family are in the front row.  They brawl, because this is a street fight, see.  Punk throws some plunder into the ring.  He whacks Jericho with a Singapore cane.  Jericho drops Punk with a dropkick and gets hold of the cane.  He whacks Punk, then hits his trademark springboard dropkick to the apron, sending Punk to the floor.  Jericho beats up Punk on the outside.  Back inside, Jericho exposes a turnbuckle.  Punk fires back with chops.  Jericho avoids the running knee to the corner and Punk takes another spill outside.  Jericho beats up Punk right in front of his family.  He gets in Punk’s sister’s face and gets slapped.  Jericho lunges for her and Punk kicks his ass.  Punk slams Jericho through the announce table cover.  Punk goes for a piledriver, but Jericho back body drops him, then hits him with a monitor.  Jericho breaks the other announce table cover over Punk’s back.  Back inside, Jericho covers for 2.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Punk escapes with a backdrop suplex.  Punk pulls Jericho’s throat over the top rope and goes for his springboard lariat, but trips.  Jericho wails on him with the Singapore cane.  Jericho taunts Punk and gets caught with an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho responds with something that gets 2.  Jericho brings in a can of beer, which he pours on Punk.  He brings in another beer and starts drinking it.  Punk, meanwhile, starts kicking his ass.  Punk hits the running knee to the corner and the bulldog headlock, then pulls the Singapore cane into Jericho’s balls and signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Punk counters and hits a powerslam for 2.  Punk goes up top, but Jericho crotches him.  They fight on the top rope.  Punk sends Jericho to the mat with a Mongolian chop, then hits the diving elbow drop for 2.  Jericho counts the Go 2 Sleep again and hits a bulldog.  He goes for the Lionsault, but Punk catches him, picks him up on h is shoulders, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Jericho counters again and throws Punk into a chair wedged between the turnbuckles.  Jericho gets a schoolboy for 2.  Jericho catches Punk with the Codebreaker and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Punk manages to reach the ropes.  It’s a street fight, so the referee can’t force a break.  Punk somehow gets hold of a fire extinguisher and sprays Jericho with it to escape the hold.  Punk hits Jericho in the stomach with it and sends him to the floor.  Another shot to the gut followed by a kick to the head by Punk.  Jericho is on top of the Spanish announce table.  Punk goes to the top rope and hits the diving elbow through the table.  Punk throws Jericho back into the ring and covers for 2.  Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice.  Jericho whacks Punk with the Singapore cane to escape.  Punk hits Jericho with a chair.  Jericho catches him with a Codebreaker into the chair.  Cover only gets 2.  Jericho is getting frustrated.  He beats on Punk some more.  Jericho tries to give Punk the Go 2 Sleep, just to be a dick.  Punk catches Jericho’s leg and catapults  him into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 25:14.  This turned out to be a hell of a match.  Punk celebrates with his friends and family.

Don’t try this at home!

Earlier tonight on the pre-show, Santino Marella defeated The Miz with the Cobra to retain the United States Championship.

The Bella Twins and Beth Phoenix bicker backstage.  Eve Torres says Beth isn’t cleared to wrestle.  Whichever Bella is champion will now defend the title against a surprise opponent who isn’t Kharma.

The show Nikki Bella beating Beth for the Divas title last week on Raw after Beth injured her ankle.  The Bellas cut a promo.  The opponent is the returning Layla.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (c) (w/ Brie Bella) vs. Layla.  They lock up.  Lots of movement from Layla.  Brie trips Layla behind the ref’s back, allowing Nikki to get the advantage.  She DDTs Layla’s foot for 2.  I fucking hate that spot.  Layla gets an inside cradle for 1.  Nikki does whatever.  Layla hits a springboard cross body for 1, then knocks the other Bella off the apron.  Nikki gets the advantage.  Layla gets a wonky cradle.  Nikki counters.  The twins pull the switcheroo.  Brie goes for a facebuster, but Layla turns it into a hangman’s neckbreaker for the pin to win the title in 2:28.  This sucked.

Matt Striker asks John Laurinaitis what he and Triple H were talking about.  Johnny doesn’t tell him.

Chicago!

Lesnar/Cena hype video.

Extreme Rules Match: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena.  Lesnar takes Cena down and mauls him, then kills him with a lariat.  Cena is cut already.  The stop the match to check the cut.  I hate that shit, but I guess Brock is used to it now.  Cena charges Brock and gets taken down and mauled again.  Cena is sent outside.  He’s bleeding pretty bad.  Cena fights back as goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock will have none of that and gives him a couple of German suplexes.  Cena hits a shoulder block and knocks Brock into the referee.  The ref is dead, and Brock kills Cena some more.  Brock torments Cena’s arm with a Kimura, then tosses him from the ring again.  Brock follows Cena out and tortures his arm some more.  Back inside, Brock brings in Cena’s chain, then throws it aside because he’s Brock Lesnar and doesn’t need it.  He thinks again and uses it to chain Cena’s legs together.  Brock hangs Cena from the turnbuckle and massacres him for a while.  Cena gets loose and fights back until he’s thrown into the steps.  Brock throws the referee back into the ring and wakes him up.  Cena has the chain his hand, but Brock steps on it and takes it away.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock counters and hits the F-5, but kills the referee again in the process.  Another referee runs out, but the delay allows Cena to kick out.  Brock clotheslines the new referee.  Brock brings the steps into the ring.  Cena does his “you can’t see me” and first back.  Brock locks in a Kimura on top of the steps.  Cena manages to pick Brock up and slam him on the steps.  Cena goes for the diving Fameasser, but Brock avoids it.  Brock prances on top of the steps while Cena struggles his way back into the ring.  Cena makes it onto the apron and Brock launches himself at Cena, taking a bad tumble and injuring his knee in the process.  Brock gets up and laughs it off.  He charges Cena again, but Cena punches him with the chain.  Brock is bleeding now.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on the steps for the pin in 17:42.  Aside from the stupidity of putting Cena over in Brock’s first match back, this was awesome.

Cena takes the mic after the match and cuts a promo putting over Chicago.  He says he’s going home, which is a lie.

Good show.  There were a few really good matches.  The main event is soured by the stupidity of Brock losing so quickly.

NWA Clash of the Champions VI: Ragin’ Cajun

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2012 by Grappleholic

This is my first review in nearly 11 months.  I hope I’ve still got it.

Jim Ross and Michael Hayes introduce the show.  Apparently it’s some kind of legends night.  The show Terry Funk, Lou Thesz, Gene Kiniski, Sam Muchnick, and Pat O’Connor arriving.  They had dinner with NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat had dinner with them.  Buddy Rogers, Dory Funk Jr., and Harley Race are also there.  Jim Herd says some kind words about them.

Opening video.

They play the national anthem.  Pyro and ballyhoo.

Commercials.  There’s a plug for the Wrestling Hotline.  1-900-909-9900.  Not that I recommend trying that number in 2012.

Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer.

The Samoan Swat Team (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette).  Samu beats up Lane to start.  Lane scores a shoulder block.  They do some drop down and leap overs.  Lane ends up getting a cross body for a 1 count.  Samu accidentally knocks Fatu off the apron.  Fatu recovers quickly and tags in to put a hurting on Lane.  Lane is having none of that and tags in Eaton.  Eaton hits a diving dropkick.  I’m not going to dignify it with the name of missile dropkick.  MX make quick tags and work over Fatu.  Cornette hits Samu with the tennis racket on the outside, which pisses Samu off.  MX continue working over Fatu.  Fatu chops Lane in the throat and tags out.  Lane gets a sunset flip on Samu for 2.  The Samoans try to double team Lane in the corner, but Samu ends up accidentally decking Fatu again.  Hayes on commentary calls this “a main event in any arena.”  He must have hit the nose candy before they went on the air.  MX work over Samu.  The Samoans cut Lane off briefly, but Eaton gets the tag and cleans house.  MX switch behind the referee’s back without making a tag, but they’re babyfaces so it’s okay.  The match continues to drag.  Lane gets a near fall off a jackknife hold.  The referee took a while to count because everyone was in the ring.  Samoans get the heat on Eaton.  Lane gets the hot tag and runs wild.  The Samoans conk heads, which we know has no effect on Samoans.  Paul E. trips Lane.  Cornette hits Fatu with the tennis racket.  Samu kicks Lane.  Fatu covers for 2.  Fatu beats up Lane for a while.  Fatu knocks Eaton off the apron.  This pisses Eaton off, so he comes in to distract Tommy Young while the Samoans double team Lane.  Fatu goes for a diving headbutt, but Lane avoids it.  Samu and Eaton tag in.  Eaton runs wild.  He bonks the Samoans’ heads together.  They shrug it off and headbutt him.  One of the Samoans accidentally hits the other when Eaton moves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  MX hit the Rocket Laucher while Cornette decks Paul E.  Fatu hits Eaton with Paul E’s cell phone and puts Samu on top.  Samu pins Eaton in 20:33.  Solid formulaic tag match, but felt long.

Next, The Great Muta!

Great Muta (w/ Gary Hart) vs. Steve Casey.  Man, Muta is young here.  He meditates, then blows mist into the air, the blows mist into Casey’s face and kicks his ass.  Muta hits a handspring elbow to the corner, then hits a snapmare and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Casey manages to hit an arm drag and works Muta’s arm a bit.  Muta hits a nifty dropkick in the corner, then sends Casey outside and teases a dive.  Hart throws Casey back into the ring and Muta hits a diving dropkick.  Muta rakes Casey’s eyes and continues beating on him.  Casey works Muta’s arm a bit more.  Muta flips around and works on Casey’s leg.  Muta drops Casey with a sweet roundhouse kick, then puts a claw on his armpit.  Not a typo.  Casey makes his comeback and runs wild briefly.  Muta avoids a dropkick and sends Casey out of the ring with the kick that Shelton Benjamin would call the Dragon Whip 15 years later.  Muta then wipes Casey out with a cross body to floor and throws him into the barricade.  Back inside, Muta hits a backbreaker and finishes Casey with the moonsault press in 8:12.  Fine little showcase for Muta.  I love Muta, I love moonsaults, and I love Muta’s moonsaults.

Junkyard Dog comes out with a New Orleans marching band.

Junkyard Dog vs. “Hacksaw” Butch Reed (w/ Hiro Matsuda).  Ross puts over that these two are old rivals from the Mid-South territory, appropriate since we’re in the Superdome in New Orleans.  JYD lands a punc and Reed bails for a moment.  They want to fight, but Teddy Long insists that they open up the hands.  JYD grabs a side headlock, then some shoulder blocks.  He does the doggie headbutting deal and sends Reed outside again.  Reed dicks around for a bitm then comes back in.  JYD works Reed’s arm some.  JYD hits a hip toss and a body slam and continues to beat up Reed.  Reed finally gets the advantage and beats up JYD.  Reed drops some elbows for 2, then clamps on a chin lock.  JYD almost goes down, but rallies and makes his comeback.  BIG back body drop by JYD gets 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Reed hits  a diving shoulder block and covers, but JYD gets his foot on the ropes.  Reed stupidly celebrates.  Matsuda distracts the ref.  Reed collides with Matsuda.  For some reason, this knocks Reed out and allows JYD to get the pin in 8:54.  It wasn’t completely horrible.

Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Gary Hart) vs. “Captain Redneck” Dick Murdoch.  Lock up.  Orton hits a couple of fireman’s carrys.  Spell check doesn’t like that word.  Murdoch hits a fireman’s carry of his own.  They trade arm wringers.  I approve.  The work around arm locks for some time, and I’m perfectly fine with that.  Murdoch escapes a rough spot and they lock up again.  Orton puts a hurting on the back of Murdoch’s head.  Murdoch fights back on spaghetti legs (term stolen from Jim Ross).  Murdoch lands a dropkick and Orton takes a front bump into the turnbuckles.  Murdoch drops Orton with a BIG right hand.  Murdoch rolls to the floor and beats up Orton on the apron.  Orton rallies and goes for the superplex.  Murdoch fights him off and lands some blows.  Orton rakes the eyes.  Murdoch catches Orton coming into the corner and drops him.  Murdoch goes for the brainbuster, but Hart trips him and Orton lands on top for the pin in 9:47.  I dug the hell out of this.

NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Road Warriors (c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Mike Rotunda & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams of The Varsity Club (w/ Kevin Sullivan).  Hawk and Rotunda start.  Hawk gets the better of it and Rotunda bails.  Hawk gives chased, but is blocked by referee Teddy Long.  Animal tags in.  He gets whipped towards the enemy corner and drops Doc with an elbow smash.  Animal press slams Rotunda.  Doc runs in and gets the same treatment.  Hawk and Doc tag in and brawl.  Hawk hits an atomic drop and a clothesline.  Cover, but Rotunda pulls him off.  Doc hits a clothesline and taunts Animal.  Rotunda tags in and hits an elbow drop for 2.  Hawk kicks out with authority.  Animal tags in and grabs a headlock.  Doc tags in and Animal gabs him too.  They go for a backdrop suplex, but Animal flips out and dropkicks them, then hits a double clothesline.  Animal gets low bridged out of the ring.  Doc drops him in the hard floor.  Back inside, the heels get the heat on Animal.  Hawk gets the tag, but the referee didn’t see it.  Animal continues to play face in peril.  He eventually drops Rotunda with a lariat.  Doc prevents him from making the tag.  Animal clotheslines Doc.  Hawk gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Animal shoves the ref.  Doomsday Device on Rotunda.  Sullivan and Ellering brawl on the floor.  Long refuses to count for the Road Warriors.  Doc schoolboys Hawk and Long makes a fast count to give the Varsity Club the titles in 11:37.  Okay match.  This must be the beginning of Teddy’s heel turn and becoming a manager.

Jim Ross interviews some pissed off Road Warriors and Paul Ellering at ringside.

Ranger Ross vs. The Iron Sheik (w/ Rip Morgan).  America vs. Iran.  Sheik sings the Iranian national anthem, then jumps Ross and chokes him with his robe.  Sheik hits a side suplex, then chokes Ross with his own shirt.  Ross hits a suplex for 1.  Rosss beats up Sheik.  Sheik applies an abdominal stretch.  Ross rallies and kicks Sheik in the head.  Cover.  Morgan hits Ross with the flag to cause the DQ in 1:55.  Sheik and Morgan attack Ross.  Junkyard Dog makes the save.

Bob Caudle interviews Ric Flair, who is going for his 6th World Championship tonight.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match: Rick Steiner & Eddie Gilbert (c) of The First Family (w/ Missy Hyatt) vs. Kevin Sullivan & Dan Spivey of The Varsity Club.  The heels attack the champs before the bell and get the jump on them.  The much larger Spivey beats up Gilbert.  The much shorter Sullivan tags in and provokes Steiner, who kindly distracts referee Tommy Young so Spivey can beat up Gilbert on the outside.  Gilbert continues to take abuse from the Varsity Club.  Steiner gets the tag and runs wild on Spivey.  Powerslam gets 2.  Steiner hits a belly to belly.  Sullivan breaks the cover.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Steiner clotheslines Spivey and both tumble out of the ring.  Gilbert nails Sullivan with Hyatt’s Gucci bag and cradles him for the pin in 3:51, even though neither were legal.  The Varsity Club beat up Gilbert, but Steiner makes the save with a chair.  It was short.

Wrestling Hotline!

2/3 Falls Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (c) (w/ Bonnie & Richie Steamboat) vs. “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair.  Terry Funk has joined Jim Ross for commentary on this match.  Flair and Steamboat lock up.  Steamboat pushes Flair into the corner and slaps him.  They trade holds and do some amateur-type stuff o the mat.  Steamboat slaps the piss out of Flair again, then wins a power arm lock contest.  Flair gets the ropes to break and bails.  They lock up again.  Steamboat hits a hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover.  They work around the headlock for a bit.  I always enjoy that.  They trade chops.  Back to the headlock.  Flair forces Steamboat into the corner and chops him.  Steamboat replies with a chop that knocks Flair off his feet.  Steamboat hits a big back body drop.  Flair lands a closed fist punch.  Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits a clothesline and goes back to the headlock.  Steamboat beats up Flair a bit.  Flair face plants and Steamboat covers for 2.  Flair hits an inverted atomic drop.  Steamboat drops Flair with another chop for 2.  Steamboat hits a shoulder block for 2.  Another chop gets 2 for Steamboat.  Flair bails and face plants at ringside.  Back inside, Flair lands some chops.  Steamboat responds in kind.  Steamboat gets another near fall.  Steamboat hits a vertical suplex and goes for a splash, but Flair gets his knees up.  Flair goes to work on Steamboat.  Flair hits a butterfly suplex and tries to hold Steamboat down, but gets only a series of 2 counts.  Steamboat fires back, but whiffs a dropkick.  Flair goes for the figure-four, but Steamboat cradles him ala Chi-Town Rumble.  Flair cuts back the cradle and pins Steamboat to win the first fall in 19:35.  Commercials.  They go at it again.  Steamboat hits a diving chop for 2.  Flair hits a backdrop suplex and a knee drop.  He misses a second knee drop and Steamboat attacks his leg.  Steamboat locks in the figure-four.  Flair suffers for a moment, but gets the ropes.  Steamboat locks on a crab hold.  Flair gets another rope break and hides out in the corner.  Steamboat goes back on the attack anyway.  They do some more sweet mat wrestling, then end up outside.  Flair sends Steamboat into the barricade and slams him on the floor.  Coming back inside, Flair jerks Steamboat’s neck down across the ropes.  Flair suplexes Steamboat back inside for 2.  Flair applies an abdominal stretch and turns it into a ground Cobra Twist for 2.  Flair tries to pin Steamboat with his feet on the ropes, but fails.  Steamboat gets a reverse cradle for 2, then a jackknife hold for 2.  Flair goes back on the offensive.  He goes up top, but Steamboat cuts him off and hits a superplex.  Steamboat applies a double chickenwing armlock and Flair submits to give Steamboat the second fall in 35:03.  Insta-commercials.  They keep going hard at it.  Flair hits a shin breaker and applies the figure-four.  Steamboat quickly gets the ropes.  Flair argues with the referee.  They do some stuff.  Flair does the Flair flip in the corner and runs into a chop from Steamboat on the apron.  Flair begs off, then trips up Steamboat and goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but only gets 2.  Steamboat misses Flair in the corner and gets hung their briefly, injuring his knee.  Flair goes to work on the leg and reapplies the figure-four.  Steamboat suffers for a while, but finally roles into the ropes.  Flair sends Steamboat’s bad leg into the apron.  Flair hits a diving cross body for 2.  Steamboat goes for a slam, but his leg gives out and Flair gets another 2 count.  Steamboat hits a flying headbutt and a chop, then comes off the top with the diving cross body for 2.  Steamboat hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Steamboat goes for a springboard sunset flip.  Flair fights it, but Steamboat gets him over for 2.  Flair clamps on a sleeper hold.  Steamboat nearly goes out, but rallies and manages to send Flair outside.  Back inside, Steamboat lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Steamboat comes off the top rope, but Flair avoids it and goes back to work on Steamboat’s leg.  They trade chops.  Steamboat wins the exchange and beats up Flair int he corner.  Flair goes for an inverted atomic drop, but Steamboat blocks it and chops him.  Cover, but Flair gets his foot on the rope.  Flair elbows Steamboat on the head and hits a backdrop suplex.  Flair goes up top again.  Steamboat throws him off.  Steamboat gets the chickenwing armlock again.  Steamboat’s leg gives out and they fall back, putting both mens’ shoulders on the mat.  Steamboat lifts his at the last second and gets the pin in 55:30, even though Flair’s foot is under the rope.  Steamboat retains the title.  Great match, but I disagree with those who say this is better than Chi-Town Rumble.  Insta-commercials.

Jim Ross interviews NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ricky Steamboat.  He’s ready to move on from Ric Flair.  They examine the video and see that Flair’s foot was on the bottom rope.  Steamboat agrees that Flair deserves another shot.

Enjoyable show.  Flair/Steamboat is a classic and I really dug the Orton/Murdoch match and the Muta showcase.

WWE Money In The Bank 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2011 by Grappleholic

It’s been a bit.  Let’s see if I remember how to do one of these.

WWE open, AWESOME PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Chicago.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcer.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Sin Cara vs. Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Everybody brawls.  The big guys (Kane, Barrett, and Sheamus) clear the ring and brawl amongst themselves.  Kane clotheslines the others out of the ring, then tries to bring in a ladder.  Bryan dropkcks it into him.  Slater and Gabriel do the same to Bryan.  Cara tries to do the same to them, but they duck and nail him with the ladder.  Slater gets the ladder in the ring and sets it up.  Gabriel knocks him off and walks the ladder toward the center.  Bryan dropkicks him off.  Rhodes throws Bryan into the ladder.  He tries to climb, but Sheamus cuts him off and goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Rhodes counters, goes for the Beautiful Disaster, and hits Slater with it.  Sheamus uses the ladder to beat up Rhodes.  Kane throws Sheamus and Rhodes out of the ring.  Barrett jumps Kane.  Kane rallies and disposes of Barrett, then beats up Slater.  Kane goes up top, but Cara knocks him down with a kick.  Gabriel drops Cara.  Bryan ducks Gabriel and hits a tope suicida on somebody.  Gabriel, Slater, and Cara all hit dives too.  Cara, Gabriel, and Slater do stuff in the ring.  Cara gets rid of both of them.  Bryan appears on the top rope.  Cara hits him with a kick, then hits a one-man Spanish Fly off the top rope.  Cara goes out for a ladder, but Barrett boots him down.  Barrett builds a ladder bridge from the apron to the Spanish table.  Uh oh.  Barrett misses Sin Cara and accidentally clotheslines the post.  Cara goes back in the ring and eats a brogue kick from Sheamus.  Sheamus powerbombs Cara off the apron through the ladder bridge.  Fucking ouch.  Sheamus beats up more people with a ladder.  Cara is stretchered out.  Kane and Sheamus brawl in the ring.  Bryan, Kane, and Rhodes all bring in ladders, then drop them and start brawling.  Kane takes them both out and climbs the ladder.  The former members of The Corre cut him off.  Rhodes takes advantage of the distraction to climb the ladder.  The ex-Corre cut him off too.  Bryan climbs and gets the same treatment.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  His former teammates cut him off and beat him up, then throw him out of the ring.  Gabriel and Slater climb the ladder and fight over the briefcase.  Rhodes knocks the ladder over and gives Slater the Cross Rhodes.  Rhodes climbs the ladder.  Barrett cuts him off.  Rhodes gives him the Cross Rhodes too.  Rhodes climbs the ladder again.  Sheamus cuts him off and hits the uranage backbreaker.  Bryan cuts off Sheamus and rams his head into the ladder.  Sheamus and Kane hit Bryan with a Doomsday Device!  Sheamus and Kane brawl.  Kane eventually takes him out, then chokeslams Rhodes, then chokeslams Gabriel.  Kane climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off.  Kane tries to chokeslam him, but Bryan turns it into some kind of arm lock.  Bryan dives at Kane, gets caught, but somehow turns it to his advantage.  Slater climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off too.  Slater hits a neckbreaker off the ladder.  Slater climbs again, but Barrett cuts him off.  Barrett crotches Slater on the top turnbuckle, then beats up Sheamus.  Barrett brings a third ladder into the ring.  Barrett and Sheamus hit Slater with it, then launch him to the floor.  Sheamus hits Barrett and Rhodes with brogue kicks, then hits Gabriel with a Polish Hammer.  Sheamus drops Gabriel face first across the ladder, then gives him a brogue kick.  Sheamus climbs the ladder.  Kane comes up the other side and brawls with him.  Kane chokeslams Sheamus off the ladder into another ladder.  Ouch.  Barrett, Rhodes, and Bryan attack Kane.  Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Barrett hits the Wasteland.  Gabriel hits Kane with the 450 splash in an impressively small space.  Barrett gives Gabriel the Wasteland out of the ring onto Slater.  Barrett drops Bryan and gives Rhodes a pumphandle slam.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  Rhodes pulls him down and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Bryan climbs the ladder.  Rhodes tries to stop him, but gets elbowed in the face.  They fight up the ladder.  Barrett climbs up the other side and tries to take the briefcase.  Bryan guillotines Rhodes, then elbows Barrett in the face.  Barrett sets up Bryan for the Wasteland.  Bryan counters with the elbow flurry, then drops Barrett with a kick.  Bryan gets the briefcase in 24:26.  BRYAN WINS~!  HOLY SHIT!  Great match.  Bryan gets the honor of being the first guy to cash in and fail.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon, Johnny Ace, and some lawyer arrived.

Chicago!

WWE Divas Championship Match: Kelly Kelly (c) (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella).  Kelly slaps Brie and goes on the attack.  Kelly tries a headscissors, fucks it up horrible, and sort of recovers.  Brie goes to confer with her twin.  Kelly hits them both with a dive.  Back inside, Kelly sort of goes for a tarantula and gets sent face first into the floor.  Nikki puts the boots to Kelly behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, Brie goes beats up Kelly for a while.  Kelly makes her comeback and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Brie blocks the Rocker Dropper.  Kelly blocks a backslide.  Cover gets 2.  Brie DDTs Kelly’s foot.  Cover gets 2.  I’m fucking serious.  Kelly hits the Rocker Dropper for the pin in 4:48.  It wasn’t the worst match I’ve ever seen.

SummerSlam commercial.

Big Show/Mark Henry hype video.

Mark Henry vs. The Big Show.  The two big bruisers tear into each other.  Show hits Henry with a shoulder block and Henry rolls to the floor.  They brawl at ringside.  Henry dropkicks the steps into Show’s knee.  Back inside, Henry goes to work on the knee.  Show fight out of a half crab.  Henry squashes Show in the corner.  He tries it again, but is met with a boot.  Show dives off the bottom rope and hits Henry with a shoulder block.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Henry takes out his knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for 2.  Henry hits another World’s Strongest Slam and 2 big splashes for the pin in 5:58.  It was okay.  After the match, Henry gets a chair and Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show is driven out on a letter stretcher cart thingy.

Vince McMahon complains to Johnny Ace backstage.  Josh Matthews comes in and asks him of he’s resigned CM Punk.  Vince says no, then bitches about Punk being an ingrate.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Everybody grabs a ladder during their entrance and brings it into the ring, so we start with a ladder fight.  Del Rio is buried under ladder at ringside.  They even have mini ladders.  Bourne and Kofi brawl atop a mini ladder, then used it to hit people.  Rey takes Swagger out of the ring with a rana.  Riley drops Truth’s balls in a ladder, then hits him with a knee.  Riley climbs up the midget ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  This is stupid.  Riley takes out Miz and Swagger with a dive.  Truth break dances and hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop onto the pile.  Mysterio and Kofi hit stereo dives off the top rope.  Bourne hits a Shooting Star press off of a ladder onto everyone.  Bourne goes back into the ring and climbs a proper ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  They fight on top.  Del Rio pushes the ladder over.  Miz starts selling his knee.  Medics come out to check on him.  Del Rio climbs the ladder.  Truth stops him.  Miz is helped to the back.  Truth climbs the ladder.  Del Rio climbs the other side.  Bourne and Mysterio climb over them, but are pulled down.  They both hit Frankensteiners.  Swagger drops Bourne and Truth.  Kofi springboards over Swagger and climbs the ladder.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Riley climbs the ladder.  Swagger notices and brawls with him top of the ladder.  Truth pushes it over.  A ladder bridge gets set up in the corner.  Kofi, Truth, and Rey do some stuff with it.  Kofi comes off of it with a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Del Rio charges Kofi, but ends up diving under the ladder to the floor.  More ladder spots.  Swagger gets hit in the face with one.  Mysterio gives Truth a 619.  Riley and Mysterio fight on top of the ladder.  There are a bunch of ladders in the ring now.  Everybody climbs up and tries to get the briefcase.  Del Rio takes a face bump into the ladder bridge.  Guys continue brawling up top.  Bourne takes a bump off a ladder to the floor.  Kofi ends up on top alone.  Swagger makes it back in to cut him off.  They both fall to the floor.  Miz hobbles back down to a big pop and goes for the briefcase.  Mysterio cuts him off and gets booed.  Mysterio powerbombs Miz to the crown.  Del Rio cuts off Mysterio from getting the briefcase.  Mysterio says “fuck that” and knocks him down.  Del Rio climbs the opposite side of the ladder.  Mysterio hits him with the briefcase.  Del Rio takes Mysterio’s mask off.  A bunch of ladders fall over.  Del Rio climbs back up and takes it in 15:52.  Fun match, but nowhere near the Smackdown ladder match.

WrestleMania travel package advertisement.

Chicago!

Randy Orton/Christian hype video.

Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is mad that he had to be in Money In The Bank after winning a #1 Contender Match a couple of weeks ago.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian.  Orton can lose the title by DQ.  Christian brings a chair into the ring in an attempt to get Orton to get himself DQ’d.  Orton teases it, then throws the chair out of the ring.  Christian shaves Orton.  Orton decks him and kicks his ass.  Christian fights back, but eats a clothesline.  This is a heel crowd tonight.  They’re booing Orton.  Orton slides back into the ring to avoid a dive, then throws Christian into the steps.  Back inside, Christian rallies and hits the diving elbow smash for 2.  Christian beats on Orton for a time.  Orton awesomely avoids Christian in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Christian hits a spinebuster for 2.  Orton counters the Killswitch and clotheslines Christian, sending them both to the floor.  Back inside, Orton gets a jackknife hold for 2, then hits a Lou Thesz press.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Christian counters.  Christian dives at Orton, but gets caught with a dropkick.  Cover gets 2.  Orton goes for a superplex, but Christian knocks him down and hits a diving headbutt for 2.  Orton makes a comeback, but Christian cuts him off and hits the Killswitch for 2.  Christian goes for a spear, but Orton leapfrogs him and hits a swank gutwrench into a neckbreaker.  Orton goes for the punt, misses, and hits a powerslam.  He hits the DDT OF MURDER on the second try, then humps the mat.  Christian spits in Orton’s face.  Orton gets pissed off and beats on him.  Orton kicks Christian straight in the balls to cause the DQ and lose the title in 12:19.  Christian is crowned champion.  Orton kicks his ass at ringside.  Teddy Long comes down to try to settle Orton down.  Orton gives Christian the RKO on the Spanish announce table.  Orton starts to leave, then comes back down to a big pop and gives Christian another RKO on the table.

Skittles commercial.

SummerSlam commercial again.

John Cena/CM Punk hype video.

CM Punk comes out to an insanely loud hero’s welcome in his home town.  Cena comes out to the loudest fucking boos I’ve ever heard.  He’s all business tonight and even has the belt around his waist.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk.  They lock up and trade holds.  Cena ducks a high kick.  Man, this crowd is hot.  Cena gets a takedown.  They trade holds some more.  Punk hits a big hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover.  They counters each others’ finish.  Punk lands some kicks.  Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2, then grabs a headlock and works it.  Punk escapes and gets a 2 count.  There’s a high pitched “LET’S GO CENA” chant alternating with a much deeper “CENA SUCKS!” chant.  Cena hits a Fisherman suplex for 2.  Lawler just said he didn’t think there was a single Cena fan in the arena, so he didn’t just hear those loud ass chants.  Punk hits a DDT for 2, then applies a headscissors.  Punk escapes an Attitude Adjustment predicament and throws Cena to the floor.  Punk sets Cena in the apron and hits a diving enzui knee drop!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena goes for the STF and fails.  Punk clamps on a rear chin lock.  Punk hits a diving cross body to Cena’s knee for 2.  Cena sells the knee.  Punk tries to suplex Cena in from the apron, but Cena suplexes Punk to the floor!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena hits an elbow drop for 2.  Cena hits a nifty suplex/powerslam for 2.  Punk lands some punches to big cheers.  Cena locks in an abdominal stretch to boos.  Punk escapes with a hip toss.  Double knockdown spot.  Cena starts his comeback, but Punk catches him with a schoolboy for 2.  Cena concludes his comeback and goes for the “You can’t see me” gesture, but Punk kicks him in the head, knocks him to the floor, and hits a tope suicida!  Back inside, Punk goes for the springboard lariat, but Cena avoids it.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk sort of lands on his feet and lands a flurry of kicks for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Punk counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits 2 knee strikes and a bulldog headlock.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk lands more kicks.  Cena locks in the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick for 2.  Punk hits a diving cross body.  Cena rolls through, lifts him, and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF again.  Punk escapes and locks in the Anaconda Vice!  Cena fights out and hits the Attitude Adjustment for 2.  Cena comes off the top rope, but Punk sort of counters into a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Punk signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Cena drops to the apron and pulls Punk’s head across the top rope.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment again, and PUNK KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Cena tries to set up a SUPER ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Punk clubbers Cena’s head with elbows!  Punk hits a top rope Frankensteiner.  Cena rolls to the ropes.  Punk hits the running knee and the Go 2 Sleep, but only catches Cena in the middle.  Cena falls out of the ring.  Punk throws Cena back in the ring.  Vince McMahon and Johnny Ace come out.  Cena locks Punk in the STF.  Vince tries to call for the bell.  He sends Ace to do his bidding, but Cena decks him.  Cena yells at Vince that he can win this himself.  He goes after Punk, but Punk catches him and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin to win the title at 33:44.  Great pro wrestling match right here, kids.  Punk celebrates with the belt.  Vince looks almost as morose as Dana White did after Brock Lesnar lost the UFC Heavyweight title.  Vince takes King’s headset and yells at someone to send Alberto Del Rio out here.  Del Rio runs out.  Punk kills him with a high kick.  Punk blows Vince a kiss and leaves through the crowd with his belt.  What will happen next as the WWE Universe Turns?

Really good show with a couple of great matches.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/25/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video package of recent happenings.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge bitches to Teddy Long about the arm injury he suffered at the hands of Alberto Del Rio last week.  Long has ruled that Edge and Del Rio can’t touch until WrestleMania.  Edge is pissed that he has to wait 2 weeks for his revenge.

Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews, Booker T, and Michael Cole are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

WrestleMania Rewind Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. CM Punk.  They show Punk’s attack on Randy Orton from Raw.  They lock up.  Punk backs Mysterio into the corner and cheap shots him instead of giving a clean break.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors and goes for the 619.  Punk counters with a knee lift.  Mysterio rolls through a cradle and kicks Punk in the head for 2.  Punk avoids a springboard cross body and puts a beating on Mysterio.  Punk applies an abdominal stretch.  Mysterio rallies and sends Punk to the floor.  Punk drops Mysterio across the barricade.  Insta-commercials.  Punk applies a body scissors.  Mysterio fights out.  He tried to slide under Punk, but Punk drops a knee on his back for 2.  Punk hits a leg drop for 2.  Punk hits a cross body block for 2.  Punk goes up top and dives.  Mysterio catches him with a dropkick.  Mysterio kicks Punk in the legs, then sort of monkey flips him out of the ring and hits an Asai moonsault.  Cody Rhodes appears and throws Mysterio into the post to cause the DQ (5:30 shown).  Rhodes headbutts Mysterio in the face with his mask.  Rhodes exposes a knee brace and knees Mysterio in the face with it.  Why is Rhodes freaking out when he’s wearing a clear mask and everyone can see he looks exactly the same as he always has?

World Heavyweight Champion Edge is in his locker room.  Christian comes in to chat with him.  Edge says he’s going to prove he’s fine by having a match with Drew McIntyre tonight and being in Christian’s corner against Del Rio later.

Tonight, The Undertaker addresses Triple H.

WWE.com plug.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Drew McIntyre.  Edge has like six pounds of tape on his arm.  McIntyre, sensibly, goes right for it.  Edge stomps him into the corner.  McIntyre lands an elbow smash and goes to work on the arm.  Edge makes a one armed comeback.  McIntyre kicks him in the arm and goes for the Future Shock.  Edge counters.  McIntyre counters.  Edge locks in the Edgeucator for the submission in 2:26.  There ya go.  Edge spears McIntyre after the match, just because he’s a fine, upstanding babyface.

Tonight, Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio!

Video of people talking about Undertaker/Triple H.

Tonight, Undertaker addresses Triple H!

Divas tag match next.  Ugh.

Smack of the night: Dolph Ziggler, LayCool, & Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison & Trish Stratus from Raw.

Kelly Kelly & Rosa Mendez vs. Michelle McCool & Layla.  LayCool are pretending to be Jersey obnoxious instead of their usual brand of obnoxious.  They do the retard dance that wrestlers supposedly from the Jersey Shore are fond of.  The face divas attack them.  McCool kicks Layla with the loaded boot on the outside.  In the ring, Rosa beats up Layla.  McCool breaks a cover and dances.  Layla hits the Lay Out for the pin in 1:09.  Thank God this atrocious shit is over.  Shit, it’s not.  LayCool are obnoxious for a while afterwards.

Last week, The Corre fucked Big Show & Kane’s shit all up.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Kofi Kingston © vs. Wade Barrett (w/ Ezekiel Jackson & WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater).  They lock up.  Barrett backs Kofi into the corner.  Kofi lands some blows and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Kofi lands a dropkick for 2.  Kofi hits an elbow smash for 2.  Kofi tries to go up top, but Barrett kicks him in the ass to stop him, then puts the boots on him.  Barrett boots Kofi off the apron to the floor.  Barrett rams Kofi’s back into the apron, then throws him back in.  Kofi fights back.  Barrett hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett keeps the heat doing.  Kofi avoids a diving elbow drop and makes his comeback.  Barrett ducks a clothesline and kicks Kofi in the gut.  Kofi counters Barrett’s pumphandle slam and hits the pendulum kick in the corner.  Kofi hits a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and warms up for the Trouble In Paradise.  Gabriel distracts the referee.  Slater gets on the apron and eats the Trouble In Paradise.  Barrett ducks the same and hits the Wasteland for the pin in 5:18.  The Corre wins its second title.  Not a bad little match.  Gabriel gives Kofi the 450 splash after the match.  The Corre celebrates the title win.

Alberto Del Rio and Teddy Long bicker in the GM office.

Next, Undertaker addresses Triple H.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The Undertaker comes out to the stage to talk about his match with Triple H at WrestleMania.  He says at Mania, Triple H will just be #19.

Tonight, Christian vs. Del Rio.

Sin Cara vignette.

From Raw: Jack Swagger and Michael Cole attacking Jerry Lawler.

Jack Swagger vs. R-Truth.  Cole spazzes out big time because he and Swagger are butt buddies.  Swagger beats up Truth.  Truthe makes is comeback and a lewd gesture, then low bridges Truth out of the ring and hits him with a dive.  Swagger gets the jump on R-Truth coming back in, DDTs his leg, and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:53.  There ya go.  Cole leaves the utterly pointless Cole Mine to get in the ring and be an obnoxious little piece of shit.  They prance around the ring like they’re at a gay pride parade.

Christian vs. Del Rio tonight.

Raw Rebound.

WrestleMania hype.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  The main event is next.

Alberto Del Rio (w/ Brodus Clay) vs. Christian (w/ World Heavyweight Champion Edge).  They lock up.  Del Rio lands a knee and grabs a side headlock.  Christian lands an elbow smash for 2.  Del Rio stomps Christian down in the corner.  Christian back body drops Del Rio to the floor and hits him with a dive from the top rope.  Insta-commercials.  Christian hits a diving sunset flip for 2.  Christian clotheslines Del Rio to the floor.  Del Rio sends Christian into the barricade.  Back inside, Del Rio goes to work on Christian’s arm.  Del Rio hits a diving senton for 2.  Del Rio keeps the heat on Christian.  Christian rallies and hits a tope rope Frankensteiner for 2.  Christian makes his comeback.  Del Rio avoids a diving cross body.  Christian duckes an enzuigiri  and hits an tornado DDT.  Ricardo puts Del Rio’s foot on the rope.  Edge frighters Ricardo.  Clay Pearl Harbors Edge.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special.  Christian goes for the Killswitch.  Del Rio lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Del Rio locks in the cross armbreaker.  Christian gets the ropes.  Double clothesline spot.  Edge spears Clay on the floor, then grabs a chair and beats him on the back with it.  Del Rio kicks Christian in the arm.  Christian hits the Killswitch for the pin (8:50 shown).  Fine but overbooked match.  Why does Del Rio keep losing going into a World title match at WrestleMania?  Edge teases hitting Del Rio with the chair.  Christian stops him and talks some sense into him, then wallops Del Rio with the chair himself.  Edge yells at Del Rio.

Okay show, but I don’t understand burying your heel who’s getting the title shot at Mania.  Then again, they’re burying the World Champion on Raw, so what do I know?

NWA Clash of the Champions V: St. Valentine’s Massacre

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 20, 2011 by Grappleholic

Cool opening video.  Clash of the Champions open.  We’re LIVE from Cleveland, Ohio.  Jim Ross and Magnum T.A. hype up the show.  The ring announcer is… a guy I don’t recognize.

The Russian Assassins (w/ Paul Jones) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette).  Lane feigns some of his hokey karate crap.  The Russian pushes him across the ring.  They lock up.  Lane does his hokey karate crap.  Eaton tags in and works the Russian’s arm.  The Russian slams Eaton and tags in the other Russian.  Ross says it’s #2.  Lane tags in and heats a weak clothesline.  MX double team Russian Assassin #2.  We get an inset promo from Paul E. Dangerously while the match is going on.  Jones takes his coat off and acts like he wants to fight Cornette.  Lane hits Jones with hokey karate kicks.  The Russians console Jones.  Paul E. joins Ross and Magnum for commentary.  The MX clean house.  Cornette hits one of the Russians with the tennis racket on the outside.  The Russians fail to get any heat going.  They pull the switcheroo and get the advantage on Lane.  Lane is sent outside.  Cornette threatens Jones with the tennis racket to keep him from getting in a cheap shot… just like Cornette got in a few minutes ago.  The Russians get the heat on Lane.  It’s boring.  Lane catches one of them with a cross body for 2.  That’s called a hope spot, kids!  The Russians keep the heat on Lane.  The legal one tries to apply a crab hold, falls over, and grabs the ropes to apply a half crab.  Eaton makes the save.  Russians try to double team Lane, but Eaton prevents it again.  Eaton gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Paul E. leaves the booth.  MX hit the Rocket Launcher on one of the Assassins.  Eaton gets the pin in 13:15.  This wasn’t any good.  I normally like the MX, so the Russians must have sucked.

Bob Caudle interviews Ricky Steamboat, who is holding the baby who would grow up to be Richie Steamboat.  They show video of Steamboat beating up Ric Flair.

Steve Casey vs. “Hacksaw” Butch Reed.  They lock up.  Reed pushes Casey into the ropes, then poses.  Reed hits an arm drag and dances a bit.  They lock up again.  Reed pushes Casey into the ropes again.  This time he doesn’t give a clean break.  Casey hits a dropkick and an arm drag.  Casey cranks on Reed’s arm.  They trade arm locks.  Casey wins that exchange and takes Reed down the mat, where he keeps working on the arm.  Reed powers his way to his feet and backs Casey in the corner.  Casey hits another arm drag.  Reed slams Casey, but Casey holds on to the arm.  Reed gets a rope break.  Reed hides in the safety of being near the ropes for a bit.  Reed gives Casey a taste of his own medicine by working his arm.  Reed pulls Casey’s hair.  Casey hits an arm drag to reverse the momentum in the battle of who can hurt whose arm more.  Reed pushes Casey into the ropes.  Casey hits… another arm drag.  Casey works the arm some more.  Reed bails.  After a bit of time wasting, Reed calls for a test of strength.  Casey stupidly obliges.  Reed wins the test of strength, of course.  Casey finally escapes and gets a hammerlock.  Reed gouges his face.  Reed throws Casey out of the ring and poses.  Casey gets back to the apron.  Reed pulls his head across the top rope.  Casey fights his way back into the ring and makes his comeback.  Reed cuts him off with a forearm to the back of the head and applies a camel clutch.  It transitions into a rear chin lock.  Said rear chin lock continues for some time.  Casey tries to fight back again, but Reed throws him out of the ring again.  This match has officially gone on longer than the MX match.  Reed hits a suplex for 2.  Reed argues with the referee.  Casey tries to make his comeback, but Reed avoids a dropkick.  Reed applies a rear chin lock again.  He has a foot on the bottom rope just to be a dick.  I’m pretty sure that would actually decrease your leverage, Magnum.  Teddy Long accuses Reed of using the ropes.  Nothing comes of that.  Casey fights out of the rear chin lock and makes his comeback.  Casey hits corner punches, a hip toss, and a monkey flip.  Casey lands a couple of dropkicks.  He goes for a cross body, but Reed catches him and press slams him.  Reed goes up top and hits a diving shoulder block for the pin in 17:42.  This would have been fine at 5 minutes.  At almost 18, it was WAY too long and boring.

NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair comes out to the ring with Hiro Matsuda and a bunch of random women.  Bob Caudle interviews him.  Flair puts himself over and calls out Ricky Steamboat.  He offers Caudle his pick of the women.  Caudle isn’t interested.  Steamboat comes out.  Flair talks about how boring monogamy is and says he’ll beat Steamboat at the PPV on Monday.  Steamboat talks about what a scumbag Flair is.  Flair tells Steamboat to “go home and help the missus with the dishes.”  Steamboat attacks Flair and they begin to fight.  Caudle and women awkwardly stay in the ring.  Steamboat rips off Flair’s suit and gives him a press slam and a back body drop, then hits the diving cross body and gets a phantom three count.  Hiro Matsuda wakes up after being decked earlier and he and Flair double team Steamboat.  Steamboat makes his own comeback, sends Flair out of the ring, and knocks him into the crowd.  Steamboat comes back to the ring and puts on the tattered remains of Flair’s suit.  The crowd approves.  Steamboat rips it off and throws the pieces to the crowd, who still approve.

Coming up, The Road Warriors!  The Total Package!

The Blackmailer (w/ Hiro Matsuda) vs. “The Total Package” Lex Luger.  They lock up.  Luger shoves Blackmailer across the ring.  Repeat.  Luger blocks a wrist lock.  Blackmailer grabs a headlock.  Luger throws him off and absorbs a shoulder block.  Luger grabs a headlock, then drops Blackmailer with a shoulder block.  Blackmailer bails.  Back inside, the lock up again.  Luger grabs a headlock again.  Blackmailer tires of this shit and hits a backdrop suplex.  Luger no-sells it.  They stare at each other.  They lock up again.  Luger grabs another headlock.  Blackmailer backs Luger into the corner and beats on him a bit.  Luger reverses a whip, hits a back body drop, and does… a side headlock takeover.  Luger lets go and the walk around and look at each other.  They lock up again.  Blackmailer lands some blows.  Luger hits a powerslam.  Luger does… another side headlock takeover.  He works it for a while, then hits a press slam.  Luger charges, but Blackmailer ducks and Luger tumbles out of the ring.  Blackmailer pulls Luger’s neck into the top rope to keep him out of the ring.  This match will never end at that rate.  He chokes Luger against the ropes, then knocks him off the apron again.  Luger hits a slingshot sunset flip for 2.  They trade punches.  Blackmailer scrapes Luger’s eyes and goes on the offensive.  Blackmailer grabs a rear chin lock.  Luger escapes and gets caught in the balls.  Luger blocks a suplex attempt and hits one of his own.  Blackmailer beats on Luger.  Luger hulks up and makes his comeback.  Luger hits a superplex for the pin in 13:02 to end it.  That was a message to Barry Windham, who Luger will challenge for the United States title at Chi-Town Rumble.  This pretty much sucked.

Still to come, the Varsity Club vs. The Fantastics.

Michael Hayes delivers NWA World Television Champion Rick Steiner to Bob Caudle for an interview.  I’m pretty sure Steiner’s early gimmick was that he was borderline retarded.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match: Mike Rotunda & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams (c) of The Varsity Club (w/ Kevin Sullivan) vs. The Fantastics.  Sullivan & Williams won the titles, but the Varsity Club is using the Freebirds rule.  Rotundo and Rogers lock up.  Rotundo hits a fireman’s carry.  Rotundo takes him down.  Rogers gets back to his feet.  They stare at each other for a while.  Rogers hits an arm drag.  They stare at each other again.  Rogers grabs a side headlock.  Rotundo pulls his hair.  Rotundo does the drop down, leap frog, and is met with a clothesline, which gets 2 for Rogers.  Doc tags in and beats up Rogers, which is probably the most enjoyable thing on this show so far.  Rogers avoids an elbow drop and tags in Fulton.  The Fantastics hit a double dropkick.  Fulton swivels his hips.  They lock up.  Doc hits a shoulder block, then takes Fulton down.  We get an inset promo from Rick Steiner, who just had an interview 5 minutes ago.  Fulton fights back, but Doc takes him down again.  Rotundo takes in.  Fulton gets a sunset flip for 2.  Doc tags in.  Rotundo takes Fulton down to keep him from making the tag.  Fulton ducks some clotheslines and hits a cross body for 2.  Rogers tags in and hits a dropkick.  Doc recovers immediately and pounds on Rogers.  Rogers takes a rough looking bump off of a back body drop.  Rotundo tags in and lands an elbow smash on Rogers, then slaps Fulton.  Rogers fights back and tags in Fulton.  Fulton hits a knee lift for 2.  Fulton hits corner punches.  Doc decks Fulton and sends him to the floor.  With the referee distracted, Williams drops Fulton across the guardrail.  Fulton plays face in peril as the Varsity Club put a beating on him.  Fulton gets his knees up to block a splash from Rotundo.  Williams tags in and keeps Fulton from making the tag.  Rogers comes in the ring to attack Doc and is immediately forced out by the referee.  Fulton stays in the pressure cooker.  Doc hits an impressive press slam  and a football tackle.  Fulton holds onto the ropes to avoid the Oklahoma Stampede and lands on top of Doc.  Rogers gets the hot tag and RUNS WILD~!  Rotundo trips Rogers from the outside.  Rogers avoids an elbow drop and fights back, but gets sent to the floor.  Fulton makes a comeback.  Rogers hits a diving cross body on Doc.  Rotundo stomps Rogers in the back of the head.  Doc gets the pin on Rogers in 13:25.  For the first time all show, I can say I enjoyed this match.

Up next, The Dragon in action!

Bob Bradley vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (w/ Bonnie & Richie Steamboat).  Bradley talks trash.  They shove each other.  Steamboat ducks a punch and hits an atomic drop and some punches and a chop.  Bradley bails.  They lock up.  Bradley hit a hip toss.  They lock u p again.  Bradley hits a body slam.  Bradley hits an arm drag.  Steamboat hits a hip toss and a few slams, then a pair of the best arm drags in the history of professional wrestling.  Bradley bails.  Steamboat slingshots him back into the apron and rams his face into the mat.  Bradley bails again.  Steamboat joins him and gets slammed on the floor and sent into the barricade.  Back inside, Bradley rakes Steamboat’s eyes and hits a body slam.  Bradley lands an elbow smash and another body slam, and a clothesline.  Steamboat avoids Bradley in the corner.  Bradley does the Flair flip.  Steamboat hits an arm drag into an arm lock.  Bradley telegraphs a back body drop.  Steamboat succeeds with one, then hits another arm drag.  The leap frog each other.  Steamboat hits a hip toss and another arm drag.  I will never complain about Ricky Steamboat doing arm drags.  Bradly does a drop down, leap frog, leap frog, elbow smash.  Bradley hits a sidewalk slam.  Steamboat avoids a diving headbutt and drops Bradley with a chop.  Steamboat hits a diving chop and a diving cross body for the pin in 6:24.  See, kids?  In the magical land of 1989, a guy getting a title shot on the next PPV wins matches to build himself up!  What a novel concept.  The match was okay.

Coming up, JYD, Sting, & Michael Hayes!  Also, Rick Steiner.

Non-Title: Rip Morgan vs. NWA World Television Champion Rick Steiner.  Morgan stomps the mat.  Steiner bites his leg.  We get an inset promo from Mike Rotundo while Morgan beats up Steiner.  Steiner hits a Steiner Line and sends Morgan out of the ring.  They lock up.  Morgan beats up Steiner in the corner.  Steiner no sells blows to the head.  Because he’s too dumb to feel them, see?  Morgan hits a clothesline.  Steiner hits a powerslam, then barks and gets on all fours.  Morgan stomps around some more.  They lock up again.  Morgan beats on Steiner.  Morgan hits an elbow smash for 2, then grabs a rear chin lock.  Morgan hits a body slam.  Steiner avoids a diving splash and makes his comeback.  Morgan avoids an elbow drop and bear hugs Steiner.  Dumb move.  Steiner hits a belly to belly suplex for the pin in 4:41.  Steiner drinks something a fan throws in the ring.  It was okay.

Bob Caudle interviews Sting, Junkyard Dog, & Michael Hayes, who are going for the Six-Man Tag Team titles tonight.  They go back down into their dressing room.  Kevin Sullivan comes in and locks the gate leading to the babyface dressing room.  They can’t get out and they’re in the main event NEXT!  What will they do?

The Road Warriors and Genichiro Tenryu come out for the main event.  The Varsity Club hit the ring and attack them.  The bell rings, so I guess this is the main event now.

NWA World Six-Man Tag Team Championship Match: NWA World Tag Team Champions The Road Warriors & Genichiro Tenryu (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. NWA United States Tag Team Champions The Varsity Club.  They brawl while we get an inset of Doug Dillinger trying to open the door for Sting, JYD, & Hayes.  Animal clotheslines everybody.  They keep cutting to the back and interrupting the match.  Hawk beats up Sullivan.  Tenryu and Rotundo lock up.  Tenryu lands a chop and a dropkick.  Rotundo begs off.  Cut to the back again.  Don’t these fuckers know what bolt cutters are?  Tenryu drops Doc with an enzuigiri.  Hawk tags in and gives Doc a clothesline.  Cut to the back, where Sting, JYD, and Hayes are finally released.  Animal and Doc lock up.  Animal powers Doc into the heel corner.  Doc and Rotundo double team Animal.  Rotundo sends Animal’s shoulder into the post and the barricade.  Varsity Club get the heat on Animal.  Hawk gets the hot tag, but the referee didn’t see it.  The Varsity Club hit a spike piledriver on Hawk.  Sting, Hayes, and JYD hit the ring for a three-way brawl.  It’s a double DQ in 5:47.  And this was lame.  Folks are bawling all over the place.  Cut to commercials.

People are still brawling.  Ross and Magnum hype Chi-Town Rumble.  Roll credits.

I think I enjoyed one match on this show.  The rest of it was pretty suckish.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/18/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 20, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews and Booker T are the announcers.  Tonight, The Big Show & Kane take on The Corre for the Tag Team Championship!  Wait a second… didn’t they announce The Corre vs. Edge & Christian for the titles during Raw?  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Geeks at ringside are putting together the Cole Mine.  Michael Cole gets his own entrance.  Fucking ugh.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Brodus Clay (w/ Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez).  Edge hammers Clay with punches, who takes them like a big man should.  Edge comes off the top rope, but Clay catches him and gives him an Exploder.  Clay goes to work on Edge’s arm.  Edge fails a tornado DDT.  Clay succeeds with a clothesline, then fails with a headbutt.  Edge fails the Edgecution, but gives Clay a drop toe hold into the turnbuckles.  Edge hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge goes for a sunset flip.  Clay sits on him for 2.  Edge avoids a running ass to the corner and hits a diving bulldog headlock.  Edge goes for the spear.  Ricardo distracts the ref.  Del Rio trips Edge.  Clay does something to him for 2.  Christian comes out and attacks Del Rio.  Clay headbutts Christian off the apron.  Edge spears Clay for the pin in 5:09.  Fun match.  I greatly enjoy Brodus Clay.  Del Rio attacks Edge after the match.  Christian makes the save.  They brawl outside the ring and over the announce table.  Referees break it up.  Teddy Long comes out and books Del Rio vs. Christian for tonight inside a Steel Cage~!

Next, Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus, Champion vs. Champion!  Matthews says Champion vs. Champion is rare.  He is blatantly lying to you, because it’s WWE doctrine to shamelessly and unapologetically lie to their fans.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Sheamus vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Sheamus attacks Kofi’s arm.  Cole is fucking obnoxious and should fuck off and die.  Kofi fights back and hits corner punches.  Sheamus drops Kofi’s face into the top turnbuckle.  Sheamus hits a short lariat for 2.  Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2, then applies a hold.  Kofi fights out and eats an elbow smash.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick in the corner, then hits the diving cross body.  Sheamus rolls through and goes for a powerslam.  Kofi escapes and lands some blows.  Kofi hits a side Russian leg sweep, a big chop, and the Boom Drop.  He goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Sheamus bails to the apron and pulls Kofi’s neck across the top rope.  Kofi fights out of the Irish Curse and hits the S.O.S. for 2.  They go outside and Kofi hits a clothesline off the steps.  Sheamus kicks the steps into Kofi’s leg.  Back inside, Sheamus hits the brogue kick for the pin in 5:16.  It was okay.

They show the recent happenings with Kane, The Big Show, and The Corre.

The Big Show and Kane chat backstage.  Show wants to bury the hatchet and win the tag titles.  Kane goozles him.  Show goozles Kane back.  They break their goozles.  Kane says “You complete me.”  I’m confused.

Trent Barreta vs. Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes has new music, a towel over his head, and is still wrestling in his suit.  Rhodes beats up Barreta and heatbutts him with the face mask for the pin in 48 seconds.  Well… there ya go.

They show Alberto Del Rio injuring Christian back in September.  They meet in a cage TONIGHT!

Kansas City!

Replay of Shawn Michaels talking about The Undertaker.

Layla in action next.  Ugh.

Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly.  McCool on commentary does not make this better.  They shove each other.  Kelly rams Layla’s face into the turnbuckle, then stomps on her.  Kelly  does a tarantula headscissors thing, then hits a Lou Thesz press.  Kelly hits an X-Factor for 2.  Kelly goes for the handspring to the corner, but Layla dropkicks her.  Kelly rams Layla’s head into the mat, then gets on her shoulders, then falls off, then dropkicks her.  Kelly goes up top, but McCool yells at her.  Layla pulls her down and pins her in 2:05.  This was terrible.

Tag titles are NEXT!

Sin Cara vignette.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of The Corre vs. The Big Show & Kane.  Kane beats up Gabriel.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Gabriel flips over Kane’s back and tags in Slater, who promptly gets beaten up by Kane.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Slater takes out Kane’s leg.  The Corre go to work on it.  Gabriel dives at Kane, but gets caught with an uppercut.  Show tags in and runs wild on Slater.  Show hits the chokeslam  on Slater.  Gabriel pulls the referee out of the ring to cause the DQ in 3:03.  Kane throws Gabriel into the ring.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson appear and attack Show and Kane.  Barrett hits the Wasteland on Show.  Kane tries to fight back, but gets beaten down as well.  Show tries to make the save, but gets beaten down again.  The Corre put one section of steps on top of Kane and hit it with the other one.  Jackson and Barrett drop Show on the announce table, which awkwardly doesn’t break.

Todd Grisham, who is still employed, interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is not an animal.

Jack Swagger vs. Chris Masters.  Jobber entrance for Masters, who I’m sure will be doing the job.  They show Swagger and Cole beating up Jim Ross on Raw.  Swagger beats up Masters while Cole practically masturbates at ringside.  Masters hits a Samoan Drop.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but Swagger backs him into the corner and goes for the ankle lock.  Masters kicks Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger rams Master’s ankle into the post, then locks in the ankle lock for the win 1:56.  Well, that’s done.  Cole gets in the ring and puts Masters in the ankle lock and screams “COME ON LAWLER!” repeatedly.  I can not wait for Lawler to punch Cole in the face at WrestleMania.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  2 Raw guys on the show for no apparent reason.  Mysterio slides under Dibiase, but Dibiase pounces and pounds on him.  Rey sends Dibiase into the turnbuckles, then dives off the top.  Dibiase meets him with a dropkick for 2.  Rey goes for a rana, flips out, lands on his feet, and eats a clothesline.  Cover gets 2 for Dibiase.  Dibiase applies a chin lock.  Dibiase hits a backbreaker.  Mysterio goes to the apron and goes for a springboard something.  Mysterio ends up planting Dibiase with a DDT.  Dibiase hits a weird reverse powerbomb for 2.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street, but Mysterio counters it.  Mysterio hits the 619 and the diving splash for the pin in 3:35.  This felt way longer than 3:35.  I wasn’t into it.

They show Christian returning at Elimination Chamber to save Edge from Alberto Del Rio.  They meet in a cage TONIGHT~!

WrestleMania hype.

The cage is being lowered.  The main event is NEXT!

I’m watching the UK version of Smackdown, which includes a random “From The Vault” with part of a Triple H & Undertaker vs. Edge & Big Show match.  Jim Ross and Tazz are the announcers, so this must be from 2008 or 2009.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.

Steel Cage Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian.  They tear into each other immediately, which is the way and grudge match in a steel cage should start.  Del Rio counters the Killswitch and sends Christian to the corner, then clotheslines him.  Christian reverses Del Rio’s whip and Del Rio climbs up the cage.  Christian follows and they fight on the top rope.  Del Rio either goes for a German suplex or some prison rape.  Christian avoids both unpleasant fates, but does suffer a top rope Samoan Drop that looked like it sucked for both guys.  Insta-commercials.  Don’t try this at home!  Del Rio kicks Christian in the face and stomps on him.  Del Rio telegraphs a back body drop and gets kicked in the face, but avoids a charge and throws Christian into the cage, then pushes Christian’s face into the fence with his foot.  Del Rio hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Del Rio tries to climb out of the cage, but Christian pulls him down by the foot.  Del Rio kicks Christian in the leg, then tries to harpoon him into the cage.  Christian saves himself with his hands, then hits a reverse DDT for 2.  Christian beats up Del Rio and launches him into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Christian tries to get out through the door, but Del Rio prevents it.  Christian tries to climb out of the cage.  Del Rio tries to prevent that, gets knocked down with an elbow, then jumps up to the top rope and drops Christian with an enzuigi for 2.  Del Rio tries to get out through the door, but Christian isn’t having that shit.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Christian counters and hits the Killswitch for 2.  Christian climbs again.  Del Rio pulls him down and beats him up against the cage.  Del Rio climbs to the top of the cage.  Christian joins him.  They fight on top of the cage.  Del Rio rams Christian’s face into the steel.  He starts to go down the side, but Christian climbs on his back.  They fight, and Del Rio knocks Christian to the floor.  Christian wins the match (9:36 shown).  Good match.  Del Rio attacks Christian afterward and says he’s going to destroy him with a chair.  Edge appears in Del Rio’s entrance car and honks the horn to get Del Rio’s attention.  Edge teases vandalizing the car.  Del Rio begs him not to.  Brodus Clay appears and attacks Edge, putting him down with a chair shot.  Del Rio delivers a con-chair-to to Edge’s arm.

Besides the opener and the main event, this show was pretty lame.