Archive for Team 3D

TNA Slammiversary 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  Cool opening music video.  Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to the Palace of Auburn Hills for the 7th Anniversary of TNA!  We’re kicking things off tonight with the X Division Championship!

It’s a King of the Mountain Ladder Match.  If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a reverse ladder match where you have to hang the belt up to win.  You have to win a fall by pin or submission to eligible to hang the belt, and if you get pinned or submit, you have to spend 2 minutes in the penalty box.  Simple enough, right?  Curtis Granderson from the Detroit Tigers is the special guest belt holder for this match.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Suicide (c) vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley vs. Consequences Creed vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin.  The Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences all want to unmask Suicide, so it’s 4 on 1 to start.  Being just outside of Detroit, the crowd is very pro-Guns.  Suicide pins Lethal about 2 minutes in after nailing everyone with the ladder, so he’s eligible.  Guns and Creed triple team Suicide while Lethal waits it out in the penalty box.  Suicide either botches a monkey flip or hits a revere lung blower on Shelley for a pin, so Shelley is sent to the penalty box while Lethal is released.  Sabin throws a chair at Suicide.  Lethal hits a Lethal Combination on Suicide onto the chair.  Lethal and Sabin fight over who is going to make the cover.  All 3 guys pile up on Suicide and pin him.  Lethal was on bottom, so he is the one who is eligible.  Guns and Lethal Consequences dance, then the Guns attack them.  Guns show their usual awesome teamwork against Lethal Consequences.  Sabin is knocked to the outside, then Creed gets a pin on Shelley after the TKO.  Suicide is released as Shelley is sent back to the box.  Lethal Consequences double team Suicide.  Sabin comes back in and goes for the Cradle Shock on Suicide, but gets counter and monkey flipped onto a ladder.  Lethal holds Suicide on the outside for Creed to hit a somersault plancha.  Suicide, Lethal, and Creed fight up the aisle.  Sabin runs up the ladder to the box and hits a dive onto all 3 of them.  That was awesome.  Shelley is released and starts climbing the ladder, even though he doesn’t have the belt and isn’t eligible anyway.  Sabin lets Shelley pin him.  Shelley goes up with the belt, but Suicide hits a missile dropkick on the ladder.  Creed whips Suicide face first into the ladder.  Lethal balances on the ladder, which is set up on the turnbuckle.  Suicide front suplexes Creed onto the ladder, which slingshots Lethal into a nasty bump.  Sabin is released from the box and pins Lethal after a sick tornado DDT.  Everyone is eligible to hang the belt now.  Creed hits a move on Lethal, then Shelley hits a move on Creed.  Suicide hits a jumping DDT on Shelley.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock on Suicide, then tries to hang the belt.  Suicide stops him.  Sabin takes him out and goes for it again, but Lethal makes it back in and backdrops him off the ladder.  Shelley hits a frog splash on Lethal, then superkicks Suicide.  Shelley lays out the ladder between the ring and the barricade.  Creed lands a kick on Shelley to send him out of the ring, then slams Suicide.  Lethal goes up top, but Sabin stops him.  Suicide dropkicks Sabin off the apron and onto the ladder.  Shelley hits a dive onto Suicide that the camera misses.  Lethal hits an elbow onto Sabin, who was still lying across the ladder.  “THIS IS AWESOME” chants.  Shelley and Creed fight on the apron.  Shelley lands a superkick, then the Shiranui on the apron.  Ouch.  Suicide and Shelley trade shots.  Shelley goes for the Shiranui off the cage, but Suicide counters and dropkicks him over the guardrail.  Suicide gets the belt and hangs up the ladder.  Crowd is booing him.  Lethal pushes the ladder over, but Suicide catches the ropes with the Captain Morgan pose and goes to the top of the box.  Shenanigans ensue and the ladder ends up being set up horizontally over the box and Lethal’s back.  Shelley sets up another ladder and goes for it, but Suicide jumps off the horizontal ladder and takes him down with a neckbreaker, then hangs the belt for the win at 23:28.  Really good match.  The lights go out and Suicide disappears.  I wish he’d disappear for good.

Tenay and West run down the rest of the card.

Lauren Brooke says Team 3D haven’t arrived back from Japan yet, then interviews Shane Douglas, followed by a Daniels/Douglas video package.  If Douglas beats Daniels, he gets Daniels’ spot on the roster.  If Douglas loses, he leaves.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. The Daniels formerly known as Christopher.  What the hell happened to Daniels’ first name anyway?  Douglas wrestles in a t-shirt.  Daniels works a headlock.  Douglas bails.  Daniels teases a dive, which Douglas avoids, but Daniels hits the split-legged moonsault.  Douglas works on Daniels’ arm.  Daniels gets a rope break and makes his comeback.  Daniels thinks BME, but Douglas stops him with a kick to the head.  They trade shots.  Douglas goes for the belly to belly, but Daniels drops him with an STO and hits the BME for the win at 8:14.  This wasn’t long enough to be offensive, thankfully.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Mick Foley.  Foley thinks Jeff Jarrett is going to help him retain the title for some reason.

Love/Tara video package.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Angelina Love (c) (w/ Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) vs. Tara.  Tara is Victoria, for anyone who doesn’t know.  Love shows off a little bit, then Tara kicks her ass.  Love bails.  Tara teases a dive, then dropkicks her into the barricade.  The other Beautiful People attack Tara from behind, then throw her back in the ring.  Love schoolgirls her for a quick 2.  Love gets heat on her for a bit, including more interference from Sky and Rayne at ringside.  Tara makes her comeback and hits a spinning slam thing, then goes outside and slaps the shit out of Sky, then Rayne.  Tara goes back in.  Love catches her with a kick, then Sky sprays hair spray on Tara’s face.  Love hits a Flatliner (called the Lights Out) for the win at 6:53.  Not awful, but nothing special.

Lauren interviews Dr. Stevie Richards, Raven, and Daffney.  Raven cuts his usual insane, yet awesome promo, then hugs Stevie and cries.  Monster’s Ball video package.

Monster’s Ball Match: Raven & Daffney (w/ Dr. Stevie) vs. Abyss & Taylor Wilde.  The faces shine early.  Abyss press slams Daffney out of the ring and onto Raven and Stevie, then Wilde dives out onto all 3 of them.  Abyss and Raven go into the crowd.  Daffney jumps in Abyss’ back, so Wilde sandwiches her head with a trash can lid and a cookie sheet.  They all brawl in the crowd.  Wilde jumps off of some speakers or something and splashes Daffney through a table.  Abyss and Raven make it back to the ring.  Abyss pulls out the bag of tacks.  Stevie comes in and nails Abyss with a chair.  Abyss is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Raven hits the drop toe hold onto the chair, but Abyss gets his hands out to protect himself.  Raven breaks a Singapore cane over Abyss’ head.  Raven chokes Abyss with a cane.  Wilde makes the save with a trash can lid shot.  Daffney nails Wilde with a cookie sheet.  Raven hits Abyss a few times with a trash can, then Abyss kicks it into Raven’s face.  Abyss hits Raven with the cane.  Abyss chokeslams Raven, but they totally miss the trash can.  Stevie distracs the ref.  Abyss goes for Stevie.  Stevie holds Abyss for a trash can shot, but Abyss movies and Stevie gets nailed.  Wilde dives off of Abyss’ shoulders onto Raven.  Abyss covers, but Stevie distracts the ref again.  Abyss pours out the tacks.  Daffney tries to attack him.  Wilde throws Daffney onto the tacks and covers, but Stevie saves.  Abyss sets up a chokeslam on the tacks, but Raven hits Abyss with a chair.  DDT on the chair by Raven, but Abyss kicks out.  Raven goes for the DDT on the tacks, but Abyss counters and hits the Black Hole Slam (on the tacks) for the win at 14:09.  Good plunder match.

Borash interviews Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett says he doesn’t want to be World Champion, but he has to take the title from Mick Foley to get his company back.

Sting/Morgan video package.

Sting vs. Matt Morgan.  If Morgan wins, he gets to join the Main Event Mafia. Sting is wearing his old red and black outfit, but with the usual white and black face paint.  That’s odd.  Morgan overpowers Sting to start and fishes out some punishment.  Sting fights back.  Tenay says Team 3D have arrived at the arena.  Morgan overpowers Sting again and gets heat on him for a while.  Sting tries to kick Morgan’s legs out from under him.  Sting manages to drop him with a missile dropkick.  Morgan avoids a Stinger Splash and hits the Carbon Footprint for 2.  Morgan goes for the Hellevator, but Sting counters.  I think he was trying for the Scorpion Death Drop, but they ended up just falling.  Sting hits it, but Morgan kicks out at 2!  Sting kicks him down and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Morgan powers out.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop from the second rope for the pin at 9:01.  Much better match than I expected.

Bound For Glory is coming to Los Angeles this year!

Lauren interviews AJ Styles and Samoa Joe.  AJ says either he or Joe will win the title tonight and take the company back.  Joe says he’s going to take out Angle… or something.  I kind of spaced out there for a second.

Team 3D/Beer Money video package.  Voice over guy says “Team 3D battles Beer Money for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.”  Of course I’m serious.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: IWGP Tag Team Championship Team 3D (c) vs. Beer Money.  3D have to be jet lagged, as they defended the IWGP Tag Team Championship on a New Japan show the day before.  Storm and Devon start.  Storm gets the better of it at first, then Devon gets some stuff in.  Roode tags in.  They have a little double teaming on Devon, then Bubba tags in against Roode.  Ray connects with a straight kick to Roode’s face.  Who knew he could get his foot up that high?  Roode and Ray go at it hard with a pretty good exchange.  Devon tags in.  Double team on Roode.  Beer Money work over Devon a bit.  Ray gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Bubba Bomb on Roode for 2.  They try to set up the 3D, but Storm prevents it.  Wassup headbutt on Roode.  Devon gets the table.  Wouldn’t they be DQ’d if they used it?  Roode his a spinebuster on Ray for 2.  Tag to Storm.  Double team on Ray.  BEER!  MONEY!  The British Invasion come out.  Williams and Magnus join the commentary team while the big guy just stands there.  Ray makes a comeback and hot tags Devon.  Devon knocks Roode through a loop with a lariat and covers, but Storm saves.  Devon hits a chokeslam of all things on Roode, but Storm saves again.  Inverted 3D for 2.  West does commentary in a British accent.  3D sets up the Doomsday Device on Roode, but he counters out of it.  Storm hits a lung blower on Ray.  Storm hits a Frankensteiner off the top on Devon.  Roode follows with a frog splash, which gets 2.  Ray saves Devon from a double suplex off the top.  They finally get the Doomsday Device on Roode for 2.  Storm accidentally spits beer on Roode’s face.  3D on Roode.  The big guy (Rob Terry?) distracts the referee.  Ray hits a suicide cross body on Magnus and Terry!  Williams gets on the apron.  Devon sends him off through the table.  Beer Money hits the DWI on Devon.  Roode gets the pin at 16:56 to regain the titles.  Good match, everybody was working hard tonight.

Borash interviews Kurt Angle, who is growing out his hair and beard.  He looks odd.  Angle says it’s all about him and Joe tonight, and he’ll walk out as champion again.

King of the Mountain video package.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Mick Foley (c) vs. TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle.  Long entrances and introductions, including a short video package on each participant.  Angle comes out wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey.  As soon as the intros are over, Joe puts on a Detroit Red Wings jersey and kicks Angle’s ass.  Even though it’s no DQ and the match hasn’t started yet, Joe is DQ’d and forced to start the match in the penalty box, while Angle is immediately eligible to hang the belt.  The bell rings.  Jarrett and Styles beat up Angle while Foley just stands on the ladder outside the ring.  Styles and Jarrett both try to pin Angle, but unsuccessfully.  Foley comes in, tries to slam Jarrett, but just falls over and lets Jarrett pin him.  The referee makes two 2 counts, and finally the 3.  The fuck?  Foley goes into the box as Joe is released.  Jarrett is now eligible to hang the belt.  Joe fights with Jarrett in the ring as Styles and Angle fight outside.  Foley apparently just wanted to rest for 2 minutes, even though he hasn’t done anything all match except for the stupid failed slam spot.  Foley is released and goes after Joe.  Joe locks Foley in the Coquina Clutch and chokes him out as the other 3 fight outside.  Joe is eligible and Foley goes back to the box.  Joe suplexes Angle onto the ladder.  Ouch.  The ladder is set up against the turnbuckle and Joe whips Jarrett into it.  Joe tries to hang the belt.  Foley is released from the box and knocks the ladder over.  Joe falls on the ladder in a very painful looking way.  That ladder is done.  Foley puts the boots to Joe.  Styles comes in and goes after him, but Foley drops him.  Foley whips Joe into the ladder, then charges, but Joe hiptosses Foley onto the ladder.  Jarrett tries to climb the destroyed ladder, thinks better of it, and throws it out of the ring at Angle.  Jarrett brings in another ladder and goes for the win, but Angle comes back in and lands a low blow.  Angle kicks Foley’s ass a bit, then gets his ass kicked by Styles.  Angle goes for a German on Styles, who lands on his feet.  Cool.  Styles goes for a tornado DDT, but Angle counters and suplexes Styles on the ladder.  Jarrett grabs the acoustic equalizer and goes for the el kabong, but Angle kicks him in the gut and locks on the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs the guitar, gets out of the hold, and nails Angle with the erstwhile instrument.  Jarrett goes for the win.  Foley climbs up and tells Jarrett to give him the belt.  They trade punches, then Styles springboard dropkicks the ladder to send them both crashing down.  Foley and Styles end up on top of the penalty box.  Foley goes for a suplex.  AJ fights him off with headbutts and goes for his own suplex.  Foley blocks it and throws AJ into the ring with an impressive bump.  Joe locks the choke on Jarrett, but Jarrett hits a jawbreaker out of it and hits the Stroke onto the ladder.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Jarrett and covers.  Kick out, but Foley comes off the box with an elbow drop on Angle!  Foley gets the pin, so no everybody by AJ is eligible.  Foley goes to hang the belt, but AJ comes in and hits him in the back with the Legends belt.  AJ kicks Foley off the ladder.  Styles and Joe double team Foley.  AJ lands the Pele kick that sends Foley to the outside, then Joe elevates Styles out of the ring to take out Foley in an impressive suicide dive.  Styles gets a pin on Foley that the camera misses, so now everyone is eligible.  Jarrett hits Joe with the ladder.  Angle is released from the box as Foley is sent in.  Jarrett goes to hang the belt, but AJ climbs up to stop him.  Angle tries to pull Jarrett down.  They drop the belt.  Jarrett dives at Angle, but Angle drives him to the mat.  Joe and Styles fight.  Joe drops him with the big kick.  Foley is released and goes after Styles.  Foley nails him with the belt, then Joe lands his kick on Foley.  Joe goes up the ladder with the belt.  AJ grabs his boot and pulls him down and ends up with the belt around his neck.  Styles tries to climb the ladder, but Joe pulls him down.  Styles whips Joe, who dives through the ropes onto Jarrett and Foley.  Angle comes in and goes for the Angle Slam on Styles, but Styles counters into the Styles Clash.  AJ looks to have it won, but Joe comes in and powerbombs him off the ladder.  Joe goes up with the belt.  Angle climbs up the other side.  Joe hands Angle the belt!  Angle hangs the belt for the win at 22:04.  Joe and Angle hug.  Booker T, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Sharmell appear on stage to applaud Angle.  Has Joe joined the Main Event Mafia?  Oh, and I thought the match turned out pretty good too.

Pretty good show all together, one of TNA’s better PPV offerings of late.

TNA Destination X 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

If the reviews are to be believed, I’m going to regret watching this show.

The show starts with a black and white video showing how horrible the economy is right now.  It switches to color to hype the main event and Ultimate X.

Mike Tenay welcome us LIVE to Orlando.  Where’s Don West?  Ah, there he is.

The Beautiful People (Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, & Madison Rayne) vs. Taylor Wilde, Roxxi, & The Governor.  Geeze, they’re still doing this phony Sarah Palin gimmick?  They try, but the match sucks.  Roxxi moves so awkwardly in the ring.  She takes the heat for a bit and makes the hot tag to Wilde, who cleans house.  The Governor hits a shitty looking dive out of the ring onto Love and Sky.  Wilde hits a German suplex on Rayne for the win at 5:04.  Bleh.

Generic blonde interviews Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley.  Jarrett is going to be the referee in the main event and Foley is going to be the enforcer.  For some reason, BRUTUS MAGNUS flashes on the screen in the middle of the interview.

Brutus Magnus then comes to the ring.  What the fuck is this shit?  He issues an open challenge.  David Penzer introduces a sailor (Jesse Neal) to be the ring announcer.  He introduces Magnus’ opponent, Eric Young.

Brutus Magnus vs. Eric Young.  Magnus looks more like a guy who should jobbing to lower midcarders on ECW.  He nails some shots, then Young fights back.  Young bounces off the ropes and Magnus botches the catch and hits a half assed powerslam or something for a near fall.  He hits a high knee and a leg drop for a near fall, then hits a powerbomb.  He goes for a splash, but Young moves.  Young hits a DVD for a near fall.  Young flips over one of the posts and goes to the other one.  Magnus tries to meet him but gets thrown down and elbow dropped.  Bridge into backslide spot gets a near fall for Young.  So forth and so on.  Magnus hits sort of a TKO off the turnbuckle for the win at 4:46.  What’s it called?  Tormentum?

Tenay and West run down the card.  Two matches in.  Why?

Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out.  He complains that he hasn’t been on a PPV all year.  He whines for a bit, then Jim Cornette comes out.  He tells Bashir he’s not on the PPV because nobody likes him.  He calls the sailor back into the ring.  The sailor sings horribly and Bashir leaves.  Complete waste of PPV time.

Jeremy Borash is in the Main Event Mafia’s locker room.  Angle complains that Foley, Jarrett, and Sting are all against him.  Booker says he has AJ Styles to deal with tonight and leaves.  Steiner says he has Samoa Joe to deal with, so Sting is Angle’s problem.  Nash tells Angle to relax.  He tells Angle the whole thing is his fault.  The audio keeps going from quiet to loud at random.

Abyss/Morgan video package.

Match of 10,000 Tacks:
Mat Morgan vs. Abyss.  During Morgan’s entrance, the newly heel Don West defends Sheik Abdul Bashir.  Because he’s a heel now.  Does anyone care?  Morgan jumps Abyss to start.  Abyss fights back but gets clotheslined to the floor.  Abyss grabs Morgan’s legs and pulls his nuts into the post.  He sets up two trays of tacks just off the stage.  Way to give away the finish.  Morgan whips Abyss into the guardrail and takes him back into the ring to beat him up.  Morgan climbs a pole (of course) and pulls down a bag of tacks.  He pours them into a small, neat pile and tries to push Abyss’ face into them.  Abyss fights back and goes for a chokeslam, but Morgan fights out.  Abyss hits a clothesline, then punishes Morgan in the corner.  Abyss climbs up another pole and retrieves another bag of tacks.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint and goes outside to get a chair.  He ends up being the one to take the bump into the chair.  He pours the other bag of tacks onto the previous pile.  Morgan counters a powerbomb attempt, but gets Black Hole Slammed.  Abyss pours a bag of broken glass on top of the pile of tacks.  Morgan bails and heads up the ramp.  Abyss gives chase and they fight on the stage.  Abyss goes for a chokeslam again, but Morgan kicks him in the balls.  Morgan lands the Carbon Footprint and sends Abyss off of the stage into the trays of tacks we talked about earlier for the win at 8:49.  Retarded match.

Booker T tells Cornette he didn’t agree to put the Legends title on the line tonight.  Cornette shows him the contract.  Sharmell tries to find a loophole, but Cornette isn’t buying it.

There’s some kind of stupid thing with guys trying to win a date with ODB.  I wanted to fast forward, but my wife won’t let me.  ODB comes out in a dress.  The finalists are Cody Deaner: a hillbilly with a mullet, Shark Boy, and Bernie Weber: an old Mexican in a suit.  TNA actually wants people to pay money for this shit?  They all say why they should win, then they dance.  Mullet wins.  TNA actually wants people to pay money for this shit?  This has to be the worst PPV segment since the Gobbledy Gooker.

Generic blonde interviews Beer Money, who are very rude to her.  The audio goes screwy again.  Tonight they face Team 3D, and apparently if 3D loses, they have to leave.

Awesome Kong/Sojourner Bolt video package.  They were friends, and now they’re enemies.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Awesome Kong (c) (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. Sojourner Bolt.  Bolt botches some shit and gets clotheslined.  Kong proceeds to demolish Bolt.  Bolt tries to fight back, but is cut off every time.  Kong misses a diving splash.  Bolt rolls her up with a la magistral but fails to get the pin.  Same with a jackknife hold.  Bolt hits the ropes and Saeed grabs her leg.  Bolt kicks her away and low bridges a charging Kong.  Bolt goes for a Dragonrana, but Kong Awesome Bombs her to end this abortion at 4:18.

Tenay and West hype what’s still to come.

Joe/Steiner video package.

Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe.  Joe has a new look with retarded facepaint and looks like he’s approaching being as fat as I am.  Did he not hit the gym at all during the months he was off TV?  Joe destroys Steiner, then attacks some refs to get DQ’d at 1:29.  He beats up Steiner through the crowd and out of the arena.  Geeze, this show is bad.

Generic blonde interviews AJ Styles.

Booker/Styles video package.  Styles stole Booker’s belt and Booker called the cops.

TNA Legends Championship Match: Booker T (c) (w/ Sharmell) vs. AJ Styles.  They lock up.  AJ shoves Booker.  Hammerlock exchange sequence, then they trade chops.  Usual AJ greatness.  Booker bails and AJ hits his flying forearm off the apron.  Back inside, AJ covers for a two count.  Backbreaker for another two count.  Booker gets the advantage and goes to work on AJ.  Harlem side kick gets two.  Booker works AJ’s arm.  Don West explains how important it is to have feeling in your arms.  AJ fights back and hits a hammerlock backdrop for a near fall.  That was kinda nifty.  Booker hits his swank rollup out of the corner for the first time in ages for a near fall, then blasts AJ with a kick for another.  AJ gets a nice German suplex hold for a near fall.  AJ springboards off the ropes and they botch something.  Booker manages to spin up and goes for the scissors kick, but AJ moves and hits the Pele.  AJ follows with the Styles Clash for the victory at 9:15.  Best match on the show so far, and that’s sad.  AJ celebrates with the belt.

Cut to the parking lot.  Apparently, Samoa Joe has murdered Scott Steiner with a sword.  He tells a frightened generic blonde to tell he’s going to kill the rest of the Main Event Mafia.  Or something.

Beer Money/Team 3D video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match (Off The Wagon Challenge): Beer Money (c) vs. IWGP Tag Team Champions Team 3D.  Team 3D proudly display their IWGP gold and Bubba is wearing a New Japan ring jacket.  Awesome!  Beer Money have been doing a “get a title shot but if we pin you you’re fired” gimmick recently, and that’s what this is.  Devon beats up Roode a bit.  Bubba tags in and promptly gets taken down.  Storm tags in and acts retarded.  Storm and Bubba do the silly test of strength dance.  Devon tags in and 3D double team storm.  Roode prevents his partner from taking the WASSUP headbutt.  Match goes on.  It’s not awful, but not particularly exciting.  They do the Brokeback Mountain spot.  Bubba hits a Rock Bottom of all things on Roode, then the flip, flop, & fly on Storm.  Storm prevents Devon from making it back in the ring and Beer Money doubleteams Bubba.  Storm hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner and Roode follows with a frog splash.  I’m serious.  Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb for a near fall.  Don West: How many people have we ever seen kick out of that?  Me: Everyone.  Devon makes it back in and they give Roode the reverse 3D for a near fall.  Storm comes in and uses a chair to cause the DQ at 9:57.  Cornette comes out and restarts the match as a No DQ match.  Devon comes from behind and gives them the double noggin knocker.  Storm takes the 3D.  Roode pulls the referee out of the ring.  He grabs Storm and leaves.  West hands Beer Money the belts and they leave.  Crowd chants BULLSHIT.  3D wins by count-out at 12:04.  Bubba complains to the announcers.

We get comments from the Ultimate X participants, then a video package.  I love Shelley openly saying he’s going to cheat any way he can.

Ultimate X Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Alex Shelley (c) vs. Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide.  Guns immediately jump Suicide as Lethal and Creed go to climb the structure.  Guns use teamwork to deal with everybody else.  Suicide comes back in and deals with them, then goes at it with Lethal.  “FALLEN ANGEL” chants.  Shelley and Lethal go at it.  Sabin goes for the belt, but Creed pulls him down.  It’s basically two guys fight, one gets knocked down, and another comes in to go at it with the other.  Sabin his a suicide (no pun intended) dive 4 1/2 minutes it.  Suicide goes for one as well, but Shelley nails him with a kick.  Creed goes for the climb, but Suicide gets him a fireman’s carry and does the Finlay roll onto the other guys outside.  Suicide climbs the cables, but Lethal knocks him down with a missile dropkick.  Lethal Consequences fight with the Guns.  Lethal gives Creed a boost up to the belt.  Sabin uses Shelley as a springboard and takes Creed down.  Tower of Doom spot in the corner, but Suicide holds on to the cables and goes for the prize.  Lethal persues and powerbombs him down.  Everybody hits a bunch of stuff.  Guns hit the Made In Detroit on Creed.  Creed hits the TKO off the second rope on Shelley.  Creed, Lethal, and Sabin all go for the belt.  They fight on the cables.  Suicide pounces and sends them all crashing, then grabs the belt and falls down for the win at 14:11.  Not as good as some other Ultimate X matches, but pretty awesome and 7,000 times better than anything else on this show.

Borash interviews Sting.

Sting/Angle video package.

Jarrett makes his entrance.  Why does a referee need a guitar?  Foley’s TNA music is awful.  Overly long entrances and videos to give it a big match feel.  It fails.  Boxing style intros, and we finally have…

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (c) vs. Kurt Angle (Jeff Jarrett is the referee and Mick Foley is the enforcer).  Angle punches Sting.  Sting kicks Angle.  Angle kicks Sting.  Sting elbows Angle and clotheslines him out of the ring.  They brawl some more.  Angle takes a sweet bump on a backdrop out of the ring, lands on his feet but manages to hit his head on the guardrail.  They brawl into the crowd for about a second, then go back to the ring.  Angle suplexes Sting and gets a two count.  Jarrett’s count was fair, but Angle still glares at him).  Angle tries to catch a charging Sting for a belly-to-belly, but Sting just kind of crashes into him and they stumble.  Angle wears down Sting with a sleeper on the mat.  Sting fights out and they crossbody each other.  Sting hits a bunch of clotheslines and the Stinger Splash.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Sting armdrags him out of it and hits a powerbomb of all things for a near fall.  Angle goes for the ankle lock, but Sting kicks him away.  Angle hits the rolling Germans.  Angle hits a moonsault for a near fall and I wasn’t paying attention.  Dammit.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for a near fall.  Sting ducks a clothesline and Angle clotheslines Jarrett.  Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Foley checks on Jarrett.  Angle taps, but nobody is paying attention.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Foley counts two.  Angle low blows him.  Angle tries to use a chair on Sting, but Foley takes it away from him.  Foley swings for Angle but Angle ducks and Sting takes the chair shot.  Angle half ass Angle Slams fat Foley.  He covers Sting and Jarrett counts two.  Angle spits at Jarrett and punches him.  Jarrett punches him back and Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the pin at 13:51.  Angle is pissed at Jarrett, but he brought it on himself.  Sting holds up the gold as we fade to black.

The show wasn’t as horrible as Alvarez made it out to be.  Yes, the undercard WAS bad, but Booker and AJ had an okay match (only one botch stands out) and the Ultimate X was good.  The main event was a lot better than I expected.  Alvarez bitched about the heel being screwed by three guys, but if you look at the content it’s clear he did it to himself.  It wasn’t a good match, but it wasn’t awful.  Everything but the three matches I mentioned was completely worthless and had no redeeming quality.

TNA No Surrender 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Okay PPV intro video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Oshawa, Ontario!  This is TNA’s first PPV outside of the United States.

Sting kicks off the show.  Huh?  Oh, he’s just out to cut a promo.  Sting says he will challenge the winner of tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Bound For Glory next month.  He talks about the younger guys not respecting the business or nothing, makes a Bret Hart reference, and warns AJ Styles and Samoa Joe that it’s Show time.

Earlier today: Christian Cage arrived at work.

Tenay and West inform us that due to Hurricane Ike, Booker T wasn’t able to make it to the show.  He was supposed to be in the Four-Way World Title match tonight.  They run down the card for the evening.  Finally time for the opener.

The Rock N Rave Infection (Lance Rock, Jimmy Rave, & Christy Hemme) vs. The Prince Justice Brotherhood (Curry Man, Super Eric, & Shark Boy).  Rave and Eric start.  Eric sends Rave out and hits the first suicide dive of the night, then throws him back in and hits a missile dropkick for a two count.  Rock and Shark Boy tag in.  Rock statys in briefly before tagging back out to Rave.  Sharky kicks his ass and tags in Curry Man.  Curry forces Rave to tag in Christy.  Funny exchange, wnen Shark and Rave come back in.  Sharky gets backdropped out of the ring, then Rock whips him into the guardrail.  Rock N Rave beat up Shark Boy until Sharky tags in Curry Man.  Curry kisses Hemme.  She likes it.  He tries pin her with a reverse cradle, but Rock breaks it.  Rock takes down Curry and Christy hits her stupid split leg drop for a near fall.  Shark hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Hemme, but Rock nails him.  Eric hits a double DVD on Rock and Rave.  Curry pins Hemme for the victory at 7:49.  Fun comedy match.

Awesome Kong/ODB video package.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. ODB.  Saeed jumps ODB in the aisle because ODB ripped her veil off recently on iMPACT!  Kong takes ODB to the ring and beats her up, but misses a splash, which allows ODB to go on the offensive.  ODB brings in a table and sets it up in the corner.  Kong reverses the Irish whip attempt and clotheslines ODB.  They go outside and fight into the crowd.  Kong gets a near fall on the ramp, then tries to sandwich ODB against the ring post.  ODB moves and Kong lariats the post.  ODB hits a Thesz press for a near fall I think.  Back in the ring, ODB sends Kong into a chair set up in the corner and schoolgirls her for a near fall.  ODB sets up the table and tries to slam Kong.  Kong goes for the Awesome Bomb, but ODB fights out of it.  Kong stands on the middle rope and tells Saeed to bring her a chair.  ODB powerbombs Kong onto the table, which doesn’t break through.  Ouch.  Saeed pulls ODB out of the ring, but gets sent into the guardrail.  ODB gets a near fall on Kong with an inside cradle.  Kong sandwiches ODB in the corner and nails her with a backfist.  Saeed gives Kong another table, which is set up in the corner.  ODB takes a drink from her flask and sprays it in Kong’s face, but Kong still manages to give her a spinebuster through the table for the win at 10:24.  It wasn’t awful.

Generic blonde interviews Christian Cage.  He talks about wanting to be a wrestler growing up just one hour from where the PPV is tonight.  He says he’s going to win the title in front of his family and friends tonight.

Abyss & Morgan/Team 3D video package.

Team 3D vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan.  Abyss and Brother Ray start.  The storyline here is Abyss spend time in a nuthouse to curb his violent tendencies (using weapons and stuff).  Ray hits a Rock Bottom, then tags in Devon, who hammers Abyss with punches.  Abyss clotheslines him and tags in Morgan.  Team 3D tries to leave, but Abyss and Morgan case them down and they fight in the aisle and back to the ring.  3D works on Abyss’ leg to half ass build the heat until Abyss makes the lukewarm tag to Morgan, who cleans house.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint on Devon and covers, but Ray pulls the referee out of the ring.  Johnny Devine runs in and hits Morgan with a chair.  Devon covers, but Morgan kicks out.  3D hits the reverse 3D, but Morgan kicks out again.  They set up for the proper 3D, but Morgan clotheslines them and tags in Abyss.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment (I think that’s what it’s called) on Devine to dispose of him.  3D hits the Doomsday Device on Abyss, but Morgan breaks the cover.  Morgan fights Ray on the outside while Abyss and Devon fight in the ring.  Abyss hits a weak chokeslam for a near fall, then picks up the chair.  Before he decides to use it, Ray makes it back in and hits him from behind.  Morgan pulls him out and punches the chair into Devon’s face.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Devon for the win at 11:35 to put the finishing touches on this crapfest.  Bubba low blows Abyss and nails Morgan with the chair, then 3D and Devine bail.  Morgan gets up to find Abyss holding the chair and thinks Abyss was the one who hit him.

Bashir/Williams/Creed video package.

Three-Way Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed.  A Canadian is defending the title in Canada and Earl Hebner is the referee.  Uh oh.  Of course we get the obligatory “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant.  Early action is fast and furious.  Creed hits the second suicide dive of the night to take out Williams and Bashir outside the ring.  They do lots of cool stuff, but most of it is too quick to call.  Williams hits his rana suicida, then Bashir takes him out with a baseball slide dropkick.  Bashir and Creed fight for a bit until Williams makes it back in and sets up a double Canadian Destroyer.  Sorry, not going to happen in this lifetime.  Creed hits a double diving leg drop on both of them.  Williams goes for the Destroyer on Creed, but gets countered.  Williams puts Bashir in the Sharpshooter to the delight of the crowd.  Bashir crawls over and covers Creed, but Williams pulls him back to the middle of the ring.  Creed hits a bulldog on Williams to break the hold.  Creed counters a Destroyer attempt with the same Beach-Break like move he did at the previous PPV.  Williams hits the Destroyer on Creed and covers.  Bashir pulls him out of the ring and sends him into the guardrail, then slips in and pins Creed to win the title at 8:16.  Good match.

Samoa Joe arrives at the building.  The World Champion can’t trouble himself to make it to work on time?

Wilde/Love video package.  The Beautiful People and Kip James make their entrance.  Every one of Kip’s gimmicks is progressively more gay than the last.  Taylor is the hometown girl.  Native champions are not doing well on this show so far.  Taylor introduces her backup for the night, Rhino.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) (w/ Rhino) vs. Angelina Love (w/ Kip James & Velvet Sky).  They trade girlie punches to start.  Traci Brooks comes out to take notes or something.  She’s the “Knockout Law.”  Sky nails Wilde with Kip’s purple makeup kit outside the ring.  They trade shots back in the ring.  Love hits a front suplex for a near fall.  Wilde gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Rhino Gores an interfering Kip James.  Sky grabs Wilde from behind and holds her so Love can nail her.  Wilde ducks and Love puts on the brakes.  Wilde dropkicks Love into Sky, then hits a Northern Lights suplex for the win at 6:23.  Lousy and boring.

Lethal/Dutt/Val video package.  Tonight they’ll have a ladder match with So Cal Val’s engagement ring hanging above the ring.  The winner gets Val.  Yeah, that’s really smart way to choose your man.

Ladder of Love Match:
Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt.  Good exchange to start, with Dutt taking a Dragon suplex and landing on his knees, then Lethal hitting a tope suicida.  Tenay says he’s just heard that Jacqueline attacked Salinas in the bathroom.  Lethal backdrops Dutt out of the ring and onto a ladder.  Lethal climbs the ladder and goes for the prize, but Dutt springboards to the ladder and drops Lethal into the ropes.  Dutt heads up the ladder, but Lethal powerbombs him.  Dutt brings in another ladder and sets it up between the ropes and the main ladder.  Lethal takes a bump into it, then Dutt hits a springboard flip.  It’s really hard to describe some of this shit.  The second ladder is now on top of the first ladder.  Lethal catapults Dutt, but completely misses the ladders.  Lethal takes the second ladder down and uses it against Dutt.  Matches like this can be really hard to call.  Sick tree of woe spot with the ladder.  They fight in the aisle.  Lethal takes a bump into a ladder set up on two chairs.  Slight “HOLY SHIT” chant.  The make it back in the ring and both set up ladders.  Dutt puts Lethal in the camel clutch ON TOP OF THE LADDERS.  Lethal fights out and sends Dutt crashing to the mat.  Lethal gets his leg caught in the ladder and Val comes in to help him.  Dutt yells at Val.  Dutt and Lethal climb opposite sides of the ladder.  Val gives Lethal a low blow, allowing Dutt to win at 13:22.  They make out after the match.  I’m sure absolutely every one saw this one coming.

Jeremy Borash interviews Kurt Angle.

Beer Money/LAX video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) (w/ Jacqueline) vs. LAX (w/ Hector Guerrero).  Homicide wants Roode, who bails and tags in Storm.  Remember, Roode hit Homicide in the eye with a beer bottle at the previous PPV.  Hernandez tags in and hits a springboard shoulder block on Storm.  Storm hits a Lung Blower on Hernandez and covers, but Homicide makes the save.  Hernandez goes for a powerbomb on Storm, but Roode clips his knee.  Homicide eventually tags in and then tags Roode’s face with punches.  Homicide hits a DDT off the turnbuckle and covers, but Storm saves.  Roode hits a spinebuster, but Hernandez saves.  Hernandez sends Roode out and Homicide hits a suicide dive.  Hernandez climbs the ropes, but Storm spits beer in this face and powerbombs him down.  Second time tonight that spot as been used.  Homicide goes for Roode’s head with a beer bottle, but smashes it into the steps and maybe hits his hand up.  Hernandez hits a dive on everybody.  Roode and Homicide back in the ring.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killa, but Jacqueline throws powder in his eyes.  Roode hits the Payoff on Homicide for the win at 8:44.  Not bad, but not as good as their previous PPV matches.

Styles/Trigg video package.

MMA/Amateur Wrestling Match: Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles.  Trigg cuts a promo to piss off the crowd.  There will be three 5 minute rounds, with a 1 minute rest period between rounds.  Typical boring MMA stuff until the take a spill out of the ring.  They go back in the ring and it goes back to being a boring MMA match.  AJ locks in a cross armbreaker as the first round ends.  Crowd chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT” as the second round starts.  AJ hits an accidental low blow and the match is ruled a no contest at 7:16.  This “match” was just plain retarded.  AJ nails Trigg with a Singapore cane afte the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Samoa Joe.  He rips on Sting for not working house shows.

Joe/Booker/Christian/Angle video package.  Booker isn’t here because of the weather, so now it’s a Three-Way Match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle.  Sting comes down and Joe attacks him the aisle.  AJ comes out and tries to make peace.  Sting leaves.  Joe goes to the ring so we can have the introductions and the match can start.  Christian and Joe double team Angle a bit, then go at it themselves.  Angle comes back in and hits a belly-to-belly overhead suplex to send Christian over the ropes and out of the ring.  Angle wears down Joe with a rear chin lock.  Christian makes it back in to take a belly-to-belly superplex from Angle.  Joe hits his powerslam on Angle for a two count.  Angle counters an Unprettier attempt from Chrstian into the rolling Germans.  Joe goes for the choke on Angle.  Angle tries to give him the Angle Slam, but Joe hits a German.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster on Christian but fails.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe for a near fall.  Tower of doom spot in the corner.  Joe gets a two count on Christian, then Angle.  Angle tries to give Christian a German off the apron, but Christian holds on, so it just looks gay.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Joe schoolboys Angle for a near fall.  Angle locks Joe in the ankle lock, then puts both in it at the same time.  They flip out of it.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Christian and covers, but Angle grabs referee Earl Hebner’s shirt.  Hebner finally gets away and counts two.  Joe throws Christian out of the ring into Angle, then dives out onto both of them.  They make it back into the ring and Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe.  Christian follows with a frog splash, then sends Angle out of the ring.  Christian hits the Unprettier on Joe and covers, but Angle pulls Hebner out and throws him into the guardrail.  Angle wallops Christian with a chair, then Angle Slams him out of the ring.  He clobbers Joe with the chair and locks in the ankle lock.  Jeff Jarrett comes down and blasts Angle with the guitar.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Jarrett puts Hebner back in the ring to count the pin at 15:29.  Joe vs. Sting next month a Bound For Glory!  Alright match.

All in all, a lackluster show with a couple of okay matches, but nothing outstanding.

TNA Hard Justice 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  The start of the PPV intro video is an AWESOME Law & Order parody.

Generic blond tries to interview Sting as he arrives at the arena, but he ignores her questions.

Some shitty rap group performs.  After they’re done, we get the fireworks, then the World’s Worst Commentary Team, Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE from Trenton, New Jersey.  They run down the card for tonight.  They run down the X Factors for the X Division Title Match, which will be kicking off the show.

TNA X Division Championship Match:
Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Consequences Creed.  They start with a really good exchange that Creed gets the better of.  Williams takes a press slam into a gutbuster and bails, so Creed hits a suicide dive onto him.  Williams gets back in the ring and distracts the referee so Khan can get in a cheap shot that lets Williams take control.  Williams sends Creed to the outside and hits his suicide rana.  Williams keeps control until Creed nails a kick to start his comeback.  Creed hits a springboard bulldog and his punch combo for a near fall.  Williams hits a Russian leg sweep and signals for the Candian Destroyer, but doesn’t hit it.  Some other stuff happens that I couldn’t type because my wife was making me put stuff on a shelf, then Petey locks in the Sharpshooter.  Creed gets a rope break.  Williams beats on Creed, but Creed hits a German and the Creed-DT.  Creed hits a diving legdrop and covers, but Petey manages to kick out.  Rhaka Khan comes in the ring and Creed gives her the TKO.  Petey goes for the Destroyer, but Creed counters and hits a Beach Break-like move.  Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out and nails Creed with a chair, allowing Petey to hit the Canadian Destroyer for the win at 12:30.  Good match.  Bashir cuts an Anti-American promo after the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash.  Joe says he’s focused and he’s tired of Sting’s crap.  Nash tells Joe he needs to focus on Booker T, and he leaves to talk to Sting.  Joe then has words for Booker about their match tonight.

Hype video for the six-woman tag team match.

Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) & The Beautiful People vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Taylor Wilde, Gail Kim, & ODB.  Traci Brooks is the special referee.  ODB does all of her laughable stupid taunts, much to disgust of Angelina Love.  She tags in Velvet Sky, who is offended by ODB’s body odor.  Sky sprays perfume on her.  ODB takes the perfume and sprays it on her crotch.  Gail tags in and we finally get some wrestling.  Sky quickly tags Love back in.  Wilde tags in and gets the better of Love.  Kong tags in and goes after Wilde.  Wilde quickly tags out to Kim, who also gets thrown around by Kong.  ODB tags in and trades blows with Kong.  Kong smashes Wilde and Kim, but ODB can hang with her.  Wilde and Kim double team her and take her down.  ODB low bridges a charging Kong and sends her out of the ring.  Saeed trips up ODB and Brooks ejects her.  ODB spits her booze in Kong’s face.  Kong smashes her and allows Sky to get a near fall.  Sky ties up ODB with an Octopus stretch.  ODB escapes and tags in Kim as Love tags in on the other side.  Love chokes Kim and Brooks forces her to break.  Love gets in her face.  Love continues to beat on Kim until Wilde tags in and cleans her clock.  Kong tags in and sets up Wilde for the Awesome Bomb, but Kim prevents it.  Everybody starts brawling.  Wilde pins Love with a front cradle at 11:28.  Match wasn’t bad.

Generic Blonde follows Team 3D as they go to find Sting in the rafters of the building.  They discover that Ray is scared of heights.  They just yell and hope he hears them.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money (w/ Jacqueline).  One of the rappers from earlier performs LAX’s entrance theme live.  They brawl outside the ring before the match starts.  Homicide throws Roode in the ring to officially start the match.  LAX double teams Roode.  Hernandez hits a long stalling suplex.  Homicide brings Storm in and kicks his ass too.  Beer Money double team Homicide outside the ring, but Hernandez hits them with the suicide dive.  First “THAT WAS AWESOME!” chant of the night.  Homicide beats up Roode in the ring.  Storm spits beer in Homicide’s eyes, which allows Roode to get the advantage.  Beer Money build the heat on Homicide, who is kayfabe injured from Beer Money putting him through a glass table recently.  Homicide tries to fight back, but Beer Money continues to destroy him.  Storm hits a swank DDT off the ropes on Homicide for a near fall, then a nice knee kick for the same.  Roode antagonizes the crowd by giving Homicide the Three Amigos.  Roode goes for a frog splash, but Homicide rolls out of the way and makes the hot tag.  Hernandez destroys both of them and covers Storm after a spinebuster, but Roode saves.  Beer Money double team Hernandez and Storm gets a near fall after Roode hits a blockbuster.  Homicide tags back in and hits a double dropkick on both of Beer Money.  Homicide suplexes Storm and goes up top.  Jacqueline tries to stop him, but Homicide kicks her away and hits the frog splash for a near fall.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Storm.  Hernandez takes care of Roode, but Storm gives him a Lungblower.  Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter on Storm and Beer Money bails.  Hernandez Border Tosses Homicide out of the ring onto Beer Money.  Hernandez throws Roode back in the ring and charges him, but Roode low bridges him.  Salinas and Jacqueline get into a cat fight.  In the ring, Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Storm, but Roode breaks a beer bottle over Homicide’s head and allows Storm to get the pin and win the titles at 14:05.  Really good formula tag match.

Kevin Nash tries to talk Sting out of whatever he’s planning to do tonight.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt/So Cal Val love triangle video package.

Black Tie Brawl & Chain Match:
“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  They’ll wrestle chained together and wearing tuxedos.  You win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Lethal’s family is shown in the crowd, as we’re in his home state.  Lethal cleverly secures his side of the chain to the ring rope and beats on Dutt.  The referee finally chains up Lethal so the match officially starts.  Dutt hits a low blow with the chain and beats up Lethal.  Lethal dodges a fist drop with the chain and fights back.  Dutt bails and Lethal hits a suicide cross body.  Dutt tries to get away, but they’re chained together.  Moron.  Lethal dies Dutt to the ringpost with the chain and beats on him until Dutt ducks a blow and Lethal punches the post.  Lethal strangles Dutt with the chain and Val pleads with him to stop.  Val leaves, which distracts Lethal and allows Dutt to pull him into the post.  Dutt pulls Lethal’s jacket and shirt off.  Dutt beats on Lethal and taunts his family.  Crowd chants “BORING.”  Dutt goes for a springboard dive, but Lethal yanks the chain and Dutt takes a nasty bump.  Lethal throws Dutt around with the chain and gooes for the Lethal Combination, but Dutt counters.  Lethal hits another move for a two count.  I thought you could only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Dutt hits the Sonjay Cutter for a near fall.  Dutt goes for a diving move, but misses.  Lethal hits a cool rolling Fisherman buster.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination and the diving elbow drop for the win at 11:19… even though you can only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  It’s TNA and we know they’re retarded, so I digress.  They made a good brawl out of a silly gimmick.

Jeremy Borash is in the locker room with Booker T and Sharmell.  Booker still has possession of the World Title belt, even though Joe is the champion.  Booker has words for Samoa Joe, then they drink champagne.

Team 3D/Christian & Rhino video package.

Jersey Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Christian Cage & Rhino.  They start with the brawling you’d expect, then Bubba tosses Christian into the air and Christian takes an awesome bump… very similar to the one Sonjay took in the previous match.  It’s the same problem I saw with the show I watched yesterday, too many of the matches have the same shit in them.  They brawl in the crowd for a while, then back in the ring Christian hits Bubba with a sign that says “CHRISTIAN USE MY SIGN.”  Bubba throws the steps into the ring and Devon hits Rhino with them.  Tenay and West have one of those moments that make me remember how awful and annoying they are.  Christian slams Bubba’s race into the steps, then tries to hit him with a Detour sign.  Bubba moves and hits the Bubba Bomb off the steps for a near fall.  Crowd chants “WE WANT TABLES!”  There’s a funny spot where Devon charges Christian, who holds up a stop sign.  Rhino Gores Devon and covers, but Bubba breaks it.  Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Bubba counters and hits an electric chair drop.  Rhino rams Devon’s head repeatedly into Bubba’s balls.  Bubba hits a superbomb on Christian.  Christian kicks out of the cover.  3D finally brings in a table.  Rhino and Christian set up a ladder.  Christian hits a frog splash off the ladder on Bubba.  Rhino Gores Bubba into a table that doesn’t break for the win at 15:22.  The match was your typical plunder based brawl, not awful but nothing special.  Johnny Devine runs in and attacks Christian and Rhino with a Singapore cane.  Abyss makes the save, giving Devine the Black Hole Slam.

Generic blond interviews AJ Styles, then we get a video package of his history with Kurt Angle.  The angle (no pun intended) here is that AJ supposedly nailed Kurt’s wife.

Last Man Standing Match: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles.  Angle stalls for a bit at the beginning, bailing every time AJ approaches him.  Styles chases Angle around the ring.  Angle gets in first and gets the advantage.  AJ fights back, then Angle rakes his eyes.  AJ ducks Angle and hits a dropkick, then clotheslines him out of the ring and hits a suicide dive.  AJ gets Angle back in the ring and kicks his ass.  Angle begs off, then throws AJ through the ropes.  Angle suplexes AJ into the guardrail.  Ouch.  Angle goes for a pinall, so I guess it’s Texas Death Match rules here.  They fight up the ramp, where AJ suplexes Angle and gets a two count.  Angle suplex Styles off the stage, then does a somersault onto him!  Cover gets two.  They fight back to the ring, where Angle clamps on a sleeper hold.  AJ fights out and blasts Angle with a kick.  Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly.  Angle beats up AJ some more and clamps on a headlock.  AJ fights back and gets in some blows, then they catch each other with cross body blocks.  They get back up and AJ hits his springboard forearm.  Styles puts Angle in the Torture Rack, then hits a move out of it for a near fall.  AJ goes for the Styles Clash, but Angle counters and goes for the ankle lock.  AJ counters and hits a spinebuster.  Angle catches Styles coming off the top rope and powerbombs him for a near fall, then tries to hit him with the Styles Clash.  Styles counters and puts Angle in the ankle lock.  Angle taps.  Angle beats the count up.  Styles misses the flip reverse DDT and Angle low blows him and hits a German.  Styles ducks a shot and hits the Pele kick.  Angle hits a sort of German off the top rope and gets a pin.  AJ gets up.  Angle hits the Angle Slam and gets another pin.  AJ gets up again and counters the Angle Slam into the Styles Clash for a pin.  Angle gets up at 9.  Styles MURDERS Angle with a DDT off the top rope.  Cover gets three, referee counts ten, and AJ is the winner at 24:52.  Finish was scary, knowing Angle’s history with neck problems.  Match was pretty good.  Medics come out to put Angle on a stretcher.  AJ comes back and suplexes Angle.  The lights go out, and when they came back on Sting has AJ by the head on the ramp.  Sting gives AJ the Scorpion Death Drop.  Nash appears and confronts Sting, but Sting just leaves.  They show highlights of the match, including a few replays of the sick finish.

Samoa Joe/Booker T history video.

Six Sides of Steel with Weapons Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell).  They brawl.  Booker tries to use a Singapore can and fails.  Joe kicks a trash can into Booker’s balls and hits his senton on the trashcan onto Booker.  “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU” chant.  Joe uses the cane, then hammers Booker with punches in the corner.  Booker hits Joe the remnants of the trash can.  Joe ducks a hockey stick shot and nails a kick, then sandwiches Booker’s head with trash can lids for a two count.  Booker kicks a chair into Joe’s face, then blasts him in the head with the chair.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker chokes Joe with a piece of wood and tries to climb out of the cage.  Joe follows and hits an Ace Crusher off the top rope.  Joe hammers Booker and rams his head into the cage.  Booker hits a move for a near fall and locks Joe in a guillotine choke.  I think I hear a “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant directed at referee Earl Hebner.  Let it go, people.  Booker superkicks a trash can lid into Joe’s face for a near fall.  Booker tries to climb out again and they fight on the top rope.  Joe jumps up and kicks him in the head.  Joe takes a hard bump to the canvas and Booker crotches himself on the top rope.  Joe hits his powerslam for a near fall.  Joe hits a powerbomb and locks in the STF.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Booker gets out and hits the Book End on a chair for a near fall.  Booker spinaroonies up and nails the axe kick as the lights go out.  When they come back on, Joe has a familiar looking guitar in his hand.  Joe blasts Booker with the guitar for the pin at 12:46.  Okay plunder match, I guess.

All in all, I give the show a thumbs in the middle.  Top to bottom okay matches.

TNA Victory Road 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Cool opening video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Houston, Texas.  Jeremy Borash is shown outside the arena with the mutant TNA fans.  The polls are open as to what stipulations one of the matches will have tonight.  Generic blonde and B.G. James are in the crowd.  Tonight, there’s a Fans’ Revenge Strap Match and some other stuff.

We’re opening with the semifinal round of the World X Cup.  Current standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with 3 points each, Team International and Team Japan with 2 points each, so it’s still anybody’s ball game.  This match will be a 4-way trios match, known in Mexico as a Torneo Cibernetico.

World X Cup – Tag Team Elimination Match: Team Japan (Milano Collection AT, Masato Yoshino, & Puma) vs. Team Mexico (Ultimo Guerrero, Rey Bucanero, & Averno) vs. Team International (Doug Williams, Alex Koslov, & Tyson Dux) vs. Team TNA (The Motor City Machine Guns & Curry Man).  The winner gets three points, first runner up gets two, second runner up gets one point.  Yoshino and Curry Man start.  Yoshino is fast.  Sabin tags in and the Guns double team Yoshino.  Tyson Dux tags himself in.  He and Williams double team Sabin.  Sabin tags out and Team Mexico triple team Williams and Dux.  Averno hits a suicide dive on Williams.  Bucanero eliminates Dux with what looked like a Muscular Bomb at 2:57.  Milano and Puma double team Bucanero.  Averno comes in and throws both of them around.  Averno ducks and Puma nails Milano.  Averno eliminates Puma with an Angel’s Wings at 5:06.  Milano nails a superkick on Averno, but Bucanero saves him.  Sabin comes and and misses a dive on Milano.  Milano puts the Guns in a double half crab.  Curry Man saves them.  Milano fakes a low blow from Sabin.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock to eliminate Milano at 7:14.  Yoshino comes in against Sabin.  He’s all alone now.  Shelley tags in and ties Yoshino to the tree of woe.  Shelley and Sabin both dropkick him in the corner.  Yoshino takes a tornado DDT from Sabin, but goes back and gets him in a hold.  Shelley escapes and nails a superkick.  Averno makes a blind tag and comes in with Yoshino.  Averno hits a wierd facebuster for a near fall.  Averno hits a TKO on Yoshino, but Yoshino gets a botched pinfall on Averno with a cradle at 10:34.  Koslov comes in and does the Russian kick dance on Yoshino.  Williams comes in and hits the Chaos Theory on one of the guns.  Curry Man tries to hit the Spice Rack, but Williams escapes it.  Guerrero and Bucanero attack both of them.  Curry Man ggoes for a top rope Frankensteiner on Guerrero, but gets powerbombed down for the elimination at 12:57.  Guerrero and Bucanero eliminate Williams at 13:24 with a cool sandwich double team.  The Guns miss stereo suicide dives.  Koslov tries to get the crowd to chat “Russia.”  They chant “Mexico” in support of Guerrero instead.  Guerrero hits a front suplex off the top rope on Koslov for a near fall.  Koslov ties up Guerrero in a cool submission hold to eliminate him at 15:13.  Sabin hits an inside top rope Frankensteiner on Bucanero.  Sabin pins Bucanero after a double superkick at 16:20.  Shelley hits a sick jawbreaker off the top rope on Yoshino.  The Guns work over Koslov and Yoshino.  First “THIS IS AWESOME” chant of the night.  Koslov dives at Sabin but gets caught with a dropkick.  Sabin hits an Ace Crusher on Koslov and blasts him with a lariat for a near fall.  Koslov pins Sabin with his feet on the ropes at 19:07.  Koslov hits a nice suicide dive on Shelley, then goes back in the ring to deal with Yoshino.  He catches Yoshino with a nice kick for a near fall, then takes a kick from Shelley.  Yoshino submits Koslov with the Sol Naciente at 20:35.  It’s down to Shelley and Yoshino now.  Yoshino gets a near fall off an awesome missile dropkick.  Shelley hits the Shiranui for the one, two, Yoshino kicks out!  That sentence made no sense grammatically.  They hit more great moves on each other.  Shelley hits a gorgeous Tiger suplex hold for a very near fall.  Yoshino hits a sick necktie off the ropes for another ridiculously near fall.  So many great false finishes in this exchange.  Shelley hits the Schwein (whatever he calls it) for the win at 24:20.  Really awesome match.  The last few minutes with Shelley and Yoshino are particularly awesome, and the early clusterfuck was all kinds of fun too.

Updated World X Cup standings: Team TNA – 6 points, Team Japan – 4 points, Team International and Team Mexico – 3 points each.

Tenay and West hype the matches still to come.

TNA Cribs with Booker T.  He’s got a big nice house and a lot of cool memorabilia.  Lots of cool vehicles too.  Booker must have saved his money from his WCW and WWE runs.

Gail Kim/Angelina Love hype package.

Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky) vs. Gail Kim.  Love attacks Kim from behind to jumpstart the match.  Kim gets the advantage and it doesn’t take long for Sky to trip her up and give Love an opening.  Kim fights back and goes for a stretches Love’s leg around the ringpost.  Sky tries to interfere again, but Kim throws her into the guardrail.  Not hard enough tough, as Sky interferes again and gives Love the openning to hit a superplex.  She takes to long to make the cover, though, and Kim kicks out at two.  Kim fights back and hits a spear.  Sky distracts Kim again, but Kim hits the Codebreaker and the Regal Cutter for the win at 6:15.  The Beautiful People jump her after the match and try to put the paper bag over her head, but Kim bails.  Match was meh.

Generic blonde and B.G. James are backstage with the fans who get to serve as lumberjacks tonight.  The fans whip mannequins dressed like Beer Money.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt history package.

“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  Dutt gives Val a rose and card, which angers Lethal enough to hit him with a suicide dive before the match starts.  Lethal destroys the gifts and throws Dutt in the ring to start the match.  Dutt gets the advantage and Val encourages the crowd to get behind Lethal.  Dutt hits a standing moonsault for a near fall.  Lethal makes a comeback and hits a German suplex, which Dutt takes front-first.  Dutt gets a shot in and goes for a tornado DDT, but Lethal pushes him away and hits a dropkick for a near fall.  Dutt hits an awesome avalanche Frankensteiner.  They end up on the outside, where Dutt takes a bump into the guardrail.  Lethal locks in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Val steps up on the apron and distracts Lethal.  Dutt tells Val he loves her.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  Val steps up to the apron again and distracts Lethal, allowing Dutt to schoolboy him and put his feet on the ropes for the win at 8:28.  Dutt kisses Val’s hand as he leaves.  Okay match, but we got plenty of highspots in the opener so this didn’t seem special in comparison.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

Borash interviews Beer Money.  Roode says they’re not afraid of the marks with straps.  Storm says he’ll be glad to leave Houston.  Jacqueline says she’s not going out with them.

Fans’ Revenge Strap Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money.  Homicide and Roode brawl to start.  Roode grabs a headlock and they trade hammerlocks.  Roode gets thrown out the ring and gets whipped.  He quickly scampers back in the ring and tags in Storm.  Storm throws Homicide out, but the fans don’t whip he.  He takes a drink of Storm’s beer.  Storm chases Homicide out and gets whipped.  Moron.  Homicide throws Storm out, but Storm skins the cat back in.  Hector pulls Storm out so he can get whipped again.  Tag to Hernandez and a bit of double teaming from the champs.  Tag back to Homicide, who Storm thumbs in the eye before tagging in Roode.  Homicide hits a headscissors, but gets sent out.  Homicide uses the Finlay trick of trapping Roode in the apron so he can get whipped some more.  Roode bails under the ring, but eventually has to come back out and gets whipped again.  Homicide hits the three amigos on him back in the ring, but soon gets worked over by Beer Money to build for the hot tag.  Homicide takes the heat for a few minute before making the tag to Hernandez, who cleans house.  Hernandez hits a sit-out powerbomb on Roode for a near fall.  Beer Money rally and go for a double superplex on Hernandez, but he fights them off and hits a diving splash on.  Referee counts two before the other guy makes the save.  Roode gets whipped again, then LAX hits the 5150 on him.  Hernandez covers for the pin at 10:09.  Okay match.  They worked in the gimmick well without having the whole match revolve around it.

Booker T gives us a tour of his wrestling school.

Recently on iMPACT, Taylor Wilde upset Awesome Kong to win the Knockouts Title.  Tonight is the rematch.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) vs. Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed).  They brawl.  Kong splashes her for a quick near fall.  Kong methodically destroys her, then stretches her with the camel clutch.  Taylor pulls Kong’s hair, but Kong smashes her again and goes for the Awesome Bomb.  Taylor finally makes a comeback with dropkicks and takes Kong off her feet.  Kong gets straight up and blasts her with a lariat.  Taylor hits an armdrag off the top rope rope for a near fall, then a quick roll up for the same.  Kong goes for a chokeslam, but Wilde gets a quick pin with a front cradle at 4:54.  Meh.  At least Taylor took her beating well.  Saeed blindsides Wilde after the match and throws her back in the ring.  Kong hits the Implant Buster and sets up for the Awesome Bomb on a chair.  Abyss comes out and threatens Kong.  Saeed steps between, then slaps Abyss.  Abyss gives her the Black Hole Slam and carries Wilde to the back.

Booker and Sharmell eat at their restaurant, called Sharmell’s.  They show him telling an employee to make the food portions smaller and water down the booze.

They show a shot of the NASA museum.

Ultimate X video package.  They show the crew setting up the Ultimate X structure while Tenay and West talk.  The winner of Ultimate X gets four points, and thus will win the World X Cup for his team.

World X Cup Final – Ultimate X Match: Naruki Doi (Team Japan) vs. Volador Jr. (Team Mexico) vs. Daivari (Team International) vs. Kaz (Team TNA).  David Penzer announces Doi as representing New Japan, but he’s from Dragon Gate.  They pair off and brawl.  Kaz goes for the big red X early, but Daivari pulls him down.  Kaz sends Daivari out.  Kaz, Doi, and Volador trade shots.  Volador goes for the X, but hits a rana on Doi off the cables.  Kaz sends Volador out and heads up again, but Daivari attacks him and they brawl on the outside.  Everyone gets back in the ring and Kaz tries to go for the X again, but flips on the cables.  Doi takes a nasty spill to the outside.  Daivari goes for the prize, but Volador pulls him down.  Volador goes for the prize, but Kaz throws Doi into him and Doi’s head hits Volador in the balls.  Kaz and Doi fight on the cables.  Doi takes the fall.  Volador comes from the other side and Kaz kicks him down too.  Daivari kicks Kazz down.  Volador powerbombs Daivari down.  Ouch.  Doi goes for it, but Volador dropkicks him and sends him outside.  Volador follows him with an Asai moonsault.  Kaz and Daivari fight on the steel thing that holds the cables up.  Daivari shimmers his way towards the prize, but Kaz jumps off the structure and hits a legdrop, sending them both crashing down for the HOLY SHIT! moment of the night.  The mutants in the iMPACT Zone wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to chant it.  Volador grabs the X to give Team Mexico the win at 10:59.  It didn’t measure up to previous Ultimate X matches, but it had some sick bumps.

Tenay and Willy Urbina (who?) are in the ring to present the big trophy to Team Mexico.  The crowd doesn’t care.

Booker T plays golf on his golf course.

Frank Trigg joins Tenay and West for commentary for the next match, which we then get a video package for.  Then Borash announces that the fans have voted for this match to be a Full Metal Mayhem match.

Full Metal Mayhem Match: Kurt Angle & Team 3D vs. AJ Styles, Christian Cage, & Rhino.  Angle jumps Styles in the aisle and everybody pairs off to brawl.  Angle is pissed at Styles because of something with his wife.  Christian is pissed at 3D because they put him through a glass table.  Styles hits a suicide dive on Angle and one of 3D.  The match is a wild brawl.  Don West is annoying.  Angle whacks people with a chair, then gives Christian a belly-to-belly throw onto a ladder.  3D use ladders to sandwich Rhino.  Styles sprinboards off a ladder and nails Brother Ray for the cover, but someone pulls referee Earl Hebner out of the ring.  Angle and 3D triple team Styles.  Christian hits a HIGH cross body onto all three of them off of the steel thing leftover from Ultimate X.  Rhino Gores everybody.  3D put Rhino through a table with the Doomsday Device.  Christian and Angle have an awesome exchange countering each others’ finishes.  Christian takes the 3D through the table at ringside.  The heels beat up Styles some more.  He ducks a charging Angle, who nails Devon.  Bubba SUPERKICKS Styles.  Bubba sets up Styles on a table and goes for a splash, but Styles punches him in the balls and puts him through with a facebuster.  Styles sidesteps a charging Devon and sends him through a table.  Angle goes after Styles, but Styles hits the Styles Clash for a very near fall.  Johnny Devine tries to interfere, but Styles disposes of him.  Angle hits the Angle Slam, but AJ kicks out of it!  Hebner takes a bump and hurts his leg.  Angle tries to Angle Slam Styles through a table.  Styles fights back and sets Angle on the table and climbs a ladder.  Trigg hits Styles with a Singapore cane.  Angle hits the Angle Slam off the ladder through a table for the win at 15:57.  I actually expected this match to be an overbooked piece of shit, but it surprised me by being REALLY good.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe.  Kevin Nash interrupts and tells Joe he’ll have his back tonight.  Joe tells Nash to stay out of it no matter what happens tonight.

Samoa Joe/Booker T video package.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T.  Sharmell is in the front row with some of Booker’s students.  Borash provides boxing-style introductions.  Booker is the hometown guy, so he has the crowd behind him.  They start by exchanging chops and punches.  Joe nails a kick and the crowd doesn’t approve.  Booker gets in a blow, but Joe blasts him with that knee kick he likes to do.  They fight on the outside, where Booker sends Joe into the steps.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker takes Joe back into the ring and nails a superkick for a two count.  Joe fights back, but Booker hits the axe kick for a near fall.  Booker continues to beat on Joe.  Joe hits his knee kick again, then hits it diving from the middle rope for a near fall.  Booker charges Joe, but Joe hits his powerslam for another near fall.  Joe hits an Exploder and gets another two count, then tries to set up the Muscle Buster, but Booker fights him off.  Booker accidentally hits the referee.  Joe hits a lariat, then throws Booker out of the ring.  Joe hits the Ole kick.  Sharmell pleads with Joe to beating on Booker T, then slaps him.  Joe beats up Sharmell’s bodyguard, who I assume is one of Booker’s students.  Joe rolls Booker back into the ring.  Booker is BUSTED WIDE OPEN too.  Joe beats up a couple of referees.  The match is a no-contest at about 13 minutes.  Joe beats up the security guards who try to break it up.  Sharmell comes into the ring and screams for somebody to come help.  Joe chokes out Booker.  Sting comes out and argues with Joe.  Joe acts like he’s going to leave, but goes back after Booker.  Sting gets in the ring.  Joe flips him off.  Sting hits Joe with the bat.  Booker covers Joe and Sharmell makes the three count.  Booker leaves with the belt.

Okay show.  Nothing sucked except for the women’s matches and I don’t like the main event not having a finish.  The World X Cup Elimination match and the Full Metal Mayhem are both definitely worth watching.

TNA iMPACT! 11/11/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

Turning Point recap video.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Members of Immortal come out: Eric Bischoff, Jeff Jarrett, Abyss, and Fortune (Ric Flair, TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Kazarian, Beer Money, and Doug Williams).  Storm is carrying a trash can for some reason.  Bischoff puts everybody ever (calling Jeff Jarrett a Mixed Martial Arts master in the process).  Flair and Styles take their turns to babble.  Styles promises to break Stevie Richards’ neck tonight.  Bischoff introduces TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy.  Hardy cuts the usual rambling promo.  Bischoff introduces Hulk Hogan.  So the old walrus actually showed up for TV this week.  Hogan asks if we know what it feels like to be surrounded by family.  A fan yells “Thanksgiving!”  Hogan babbles for a while.  They lower a horrible, disgustingly ugly new World title belt down from the rafters.  It looks like something Jeff designed when he was stoned.  It also looks like gay puke.  They throw the old belt into the trash can.  Oh, so that’s why they brought a trash can!  “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes out through the crowd.  He’s mad at Bischoff for buying off Pope’s family at the PPV.  Shouldn’t he be mad at his family?  He promises to put Bischoff in a casket tonight and push him off the stage.  Samoa Joe comes out.  He wants a shoot fight with Jarrett.  I guess that’s as opposed to the fake fight they had at the PPV.  Rob Van Dam comes out.  He wants a shot at Jeff Hardy’s disgustingly ugly belt.  Matt Morgan comes out.  He also wants Hardy’s ugly eyesore of a belt, since he had him pinned at the PPV but a retarded referee screwed up the count.  He threatens to “expose [Hardy’s] ass.”  Morgan also wants to fight Hogan.  That could quite possibly be the worst match ever if it actually happened.  Hogan implies that it might happen.  I fucking hope not.  This shit took 23 minutes.

Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Ric Flair discuss matters in the office.  At least this time they made it look like the camera is spying on them instead of just being there oblivious to everyone.  Hogan books Joe vs. Gunner & Murphy, RVD vs. Kazarian (RVD becomes #1 contender if he wins), and Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money & Doug Williams for tonight.  Flair and Hogan go to chase pussy.

TNA X Division Champion Robbie E. and Cookie are fucking obnoxious backstage.  They have a mixed tag tonight.  Cookie says she’s not a wrestler, but she knows how to fight.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Jay Lethal & TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champion Taylor Wilde vs. TNA X Division Champion Robbie E. & Cookie.  Cookie bitches at Robbie during his retarded spazzy entrance.  Cookie has decided she doesn’t want to fight.  Entrances, insta-commercials, bell.  Lethal and Wilde go after the Shore tards, who bail.  The faces go outside and the referee gets in their fucking way to keep them from fighting.  Robbie Pearl Harbors Lethal.  In the ring, Lethal takes over.  Cookie pulls Robbie out of the ring to save him from being chopped.  Lethal throws Robbie back in the ring  and beats him up.  Robbie hugs Cookie’s waist.  Wilde tags in, so Cookie has to get in the ring.  Ugh.  The plus side is Wilde’s boobs are huge.  Cookie immediately tags out.  Lethal comes back in and hits Robbie with a diving cross body for 2.  Lethal hits a basement dropkick.  Cookie pulls Lethal off the cover.  Robbie jumps Lethal from behind again.  Lethal hits an arm drag and cranks on Robbie’s arm.  Wilde goes after Cookie again so the ref can get in the way.  Robbie beats up Lethal.  Robbie does is stupid jerking off taunt or whatever it is at Wilde, then beats up Lethal some more.  Cookie holds Lethal from the apron.  Lethal avoids the shot and Robbie almost charges into her.  Lethal hits a botched Lethal Combination.  Cookie jumps on his back.  Lethal gets free.  Cookie tries to kick him.  Lethal pulls Cookie’s boot off.  Wilde chases Cookie around the ring in slow motion.  Robbie hits Lethal with the boot for the pin in 5:54.  This was fucking horrible.  I’d like to punch whoever came up with that Shore gimmick in the face.

Team 3D/Motor City Machine Guns highlight video.

Team 3D are headed our way.

Team 3D come out to cut their alleged farewell promo.  They put over the Guns and talk about what they’re going to do now.  Bubba says he’s going to form a rock band.  Devon says he’s going to train his twin sons to be the new Team 3D.  Devon says his catchphrase.  They hug.  Bubba clobbers Devon from behind to the surprise of absolutely no one.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

Tonight, AJ Styles vs. Stevie Richards!  Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money & Doug Williams!  RVD vs. Kazarian!

Eric Bischoff bitches out the referees because that idiot (Bischoff’s son) screwed up the count at the PPV and kept Bischoff’s guy from losing.  Bischoff is very pissed off that that his guy won because of the referee’s lack of ability to do his job.  Matt Morgan comes in and is perfectly fine that the idiot screwed him out of the title at the PPV.  He’s so fine with it that he wants the guy to referee his match tonight.

Handicap Match: Gunner & Murphy vs. Samoa Joe.  The goons jump Joe from behind and beat them up.  Joe hits Gunner with an Exploder, then beats up Murphy.  Joe hits Murphy with the Muscle Buster for the pin in 1:28.  Whatever.  Gunner jumps Joe from behind.  Joe kicks his ass and chokes him out.  Jeff Jarrett appears and hits Joe with a nightstick.  Jarrett locks Joe in an ankle lock.  Kurt Angle comes in from the crowd and gives Murphy the Angle Slam.  Angle gives Gunner a German suplex.  Jarrett runs away.

Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, and Abyss are in the office.  Flair fires Gunner and Murphy.  Bischoff takes Abyss to go find Angle.

Eric Bischoff is smoking a cigar in the bathroom.  Seriously.  Abyss is pooping in one of the stalls.  Pope comes into the bathroom and beats up Bischoff, then beats up Abyss right after Abyss finished pooping.  Pope kidnaps Bischoff, I guess.

Kazarian vs. Rob Van Dam.  Tenay mentions that Rhino’s contract has expired.  The bell rings.  RVD hears this and takes it as his queue to pose on the ropes.  Kazarian, being slightly less stupid, jumps RVD from behind and beats him up.  RVD hits a monkey flip.  RVD hits a second money flip.  Kazarian did get good air on them.  RVD hits a cartwheel standing moonsault for 2.  RVD hits a springboard kick and bows, then does his thumb pointing.  Kazarian elbows RVD in the face.  RVD kicks Kazarian in the face.  Kazarian avoids RVD in the corner and hits a diving cross body, bumping the referee in the process.  RVD drops Kazarian with a kick.  Ric Flair comes out with a chair.  Rhino comes out and takes the chair away from him, then gets in the ring.  Rhino Gores RVD to the surprise of absolutely no one.  Kazarian gets the pin in 3:27.  This was bad.  Tommy Dreamer comes out and is like “WTF Rhino?”  Rhino waits until Dreamer’s back is turned and hits him with the chair.

House shows!

Backstage, The Pope yells at Eric Bischoff and puts some jewelry and crap on him, then makes him rap.  Bischoff’s rapping isn’t good enough for Pope.  This is the most retarded shit ever.

Hulk Hogan bitches at Abyss for allowing Bischoff to be taken hostage.  He sends Abyss to get Eric and “rip the Pope’s head off.”

They show some of the SHIT that has GONE DOWN tonight.

TNA World Television Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) vs. Stevie Richards.  Richards jumps Styles from behind during his entrance and kicks his ass.  Insta-commercials, bell.  So presumably, these guys have been fighting for 4 minutes (the length of an average commercial break), but they’re just now ringing the bell.  Stevie hits a back body drop for… 1, maybe?  Stevie sends Styles outside and chops him, then throws him back in.  Styles gets the jump on Stevie and hits a springboard moonsault knees to the back of Stevie’s head for 2.  That was odd/neat.  Styles cranks on Stevie’s neck while Tenay and Taz pretend that this TV title has any lineage to past TV titles.  Stevie fights back, but misses a dropkick.  Styles hits some elbow drops and a stomp.  Styles applies a rear chin lock.  Styles does the drop down, leapfrog, dropkick bit for 2.  They trade shots.  Stevie backdrops Styles to the apron.  Styles drops him.  Stevie makes his comeback and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  I think.  Stevie lands corner punches.  Styles avoids Stevie in the corner and Stevie crotches himself.  Styles goes for the springboard flying forearm, but Stevie catches him midair  with the Stevie kick to the gut for 2.  Stevie goes for a piledriver, then for a powerbomb.  He fails at both.  Styles hits a horribly botches Styles Clash for the pin in 6:09.  Best thing on the show by far, but they could do WAY better.  Taz decides that Stevie is fine since he can move his arms.  They supposedly did a big injury angle with this live and people were really concerned.  Of course, this being TNA, they completely no sell it on TV.

Backstage, The Pope puts Eric Bischoff in a casket.

The Pope wheels the casket out onto the sound stage.  Abyss jumps Pope at ringside and chokes him.  Abyss find Bischoff unconscious.  Pope beats up Abyss.  Bischoff wakes up, escapes the casket, and hits Pope in the balls.  Abyss puts Pope in the casket.  They ram the casket through their cheap stage.  Bischoff beats up the casket.  I swear I did make make up or exaggerate a single detail of this segment.

Handicap Match: Beer Money & Doug Williams of Fortune (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Matt Morgan.  Fortune jump Morgan and beat up on him.  Morgan fights back.  They quickly cut him off.  Morgan runs through Beer Money’s double clothesline and clotheslines both of them.  He goes for a double chokeslam, but Williams clips his knee.  They all stomp on Morgan.  It finally breaks down into a tag match.  Williams works Morgan’s leg.  Roode works Morgan’s leg.  Storm works Morgan’s leg.  Roode sneaks in to work Morgan’s leg.  Williams tags in and works Morgan’s leg again.  Flair works Morgan’s leg behind the referee’s back.  Storm locks Morgan in a figure four leglock.  Morgan turns it over.  Storm gets a rope break.  Roode tags in.  Morgan fights back, but gets his leg taken out again.  Eric Bischoff comes out to the announce table to rant and rave.  Roode locks Morgan in a Boston crab.  Morgan gets a rope break.  Roode beats on Morgan.  Morgan explodes with a discus lariat, then sells his knee.  At least he remembers that they’ve spent the whole fucking match working his leg.  That makes him better than a good many wrestlers.  Williams tags in and gets beaten up.  I spoke too soon, because his knee is now just fine.  Morgan cleans house.  They cut him off again.  Beer Money try the double suplex, but Morgan suplexes them instead.  The show ends.  While the match is still going on.

This show was so bad it’s kind of funny.

I leave you with a quote from WrestleCrap founder R.D. Reynolds regarding this show: “Just read the TNA Impact taping spoilers…when I write Death of TNA, this show could warrant an entire chapter. Egads.”

TNA Turning Point 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 10, 2010 by Grappleholic

The opening video is more of Jeff Hardy’s drug fueled ramblings.

Turning Point!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  The PPV is opening with Shore.  Wonderful.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  They lock  up.  Robbie has a fist on the back of his trunks.  Is his gimmick that he loves to jerk off?  Lethal wins the lock up and the Shore tard bails to give instructions to Becky Bayless’ tits.  They lock up again.  Lethal shines and hits some arm drags.  Robbie has fists on his knee pads too.  He must really love jerking it.  Lethal backdrops him out of the ring to the floor, which I enjoyed.  The Shore tards avoids getting hit by Lethal’s baseball slide dropkick, but Lethal drops Robbie with a chop.  Lethal beats up Robbie on the outside, then throws him back inside.  Lethal hits a springboard missile dropkick for 2.  Lethal hits a hip toss, then cartwheels into a dropkick for 2.  Lethal lands an elbow smash and goes for the Lethal Combination, but Robbie counters and hot shots Lethal into the ropes.  Robbie grounds & pounds Lethal, then covers for 2.  Robbie keeps the heat on Lethal.  Lethal tries to fight back, but gets whipped hard into the corner.  Cover gets 2.  Robbie dances like a Jersey retard, then applies an abdominal stretch.  Lethal breaks out, but gets caught with an elbow smash.  Cover gets 2 for the tard.  Robbie hugs Lethal from behind.  Robbie works Lethal’s ribs.  Lethal makes his comeback and gets rolling.  Lethal gets a sunset flip, but Cookie distracts the referee.  Lethal goes to yell at her.  Robbie tries to jump Lethal, but gets thrown outside.  Lethal lands a tope suicida.  Lethal beats up Robbie on the outside.  Back inside, Cookie tries to spray Lethal with hairspray.  Lethal takes it away from her, then hits Robbie with the Lethal Combination.  Lethal goes up top.  Cookie grabs his leg.  Robbie crotches him, then hits a neckbreaker for the pin in 10:40.  Good match, but I still hate everything about this retarded gimmick.

Tenay and Taz hype the rest of tonight’s card.

Christy Hemme interviews Mickie James.

Tara vs. Mickie James.  Idiot Borash almost announces it as a Knockouts title match.  Mickie rushes to the ring in her chaps.  They brawl.  Is she seriously going to wrestle on chaps?  Mickie shines.  Tara bails.  Mickie invites her back in to the ring.  Tara hits a neckbreaker across the top rope.  Tara goes for the Widow’s Peak, but Mickie counters into a sunset flip for 2.  Mickie applies a hair pull half crab briefly.  Tara bails again and pulls Mickie out of the ring.  They pull each others’ hair and roll back into the ring.  Tara throws Mickie across the ring by her hair.  Tara hits a suplex into a front choke, then pulls her hair.  Mickie fights back and takes Tara outside with a head scissors.  Mickie hits a diving Thesz press from the apron.  Back inside, Mickie hits a missile dropkick.  She goes for the spin kick, but Tara catches her leg and makes her do the splits.  Mickie counters a suplex and goes for a DDT.  Tara counters, sets her on the top rope, and goes for something, but they kind of fall.  They hit teach other on the top rope, then tumble to the floor.  They pull each others’ hair on the outside.  Tara gets whipped into the side of the ring.  They fight into the crowd.  The referee is out there with them instead of counting in the fucking ring.  He gets shoved and calls for a DQ in 8:15.  They keep fighting anyway.  Tara hits Mickie with a broom and breaks it over her back.  Mickie hits Tara with a trash can.  They brawl some more.  Security geeks break them up.  Mickie goes back to the ring and challenges Tara again.  So they brawl in the ring again and start ripping each others’ clothes off.  Yay!  D’Lo Brown, Pat Kenney, and security geeks break them up.  They fight again.  They get broken up again.  This went on too long for my taste.  Still, it was 1000 times better than other current TNA women’s matches and at least they treated it like a grudge match.

Team 3D/Motor City Machine Guns hype video.

Christy Hemme interviews Team 3D.  Tonight is allegedly their last match.

Tag Lines!

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Team 3D.  Shelley and Devon shake hands and lock up.  They break and lock up again, then trade arm locks.  Devon takes Shelley down with a side headlock.  Shelley transitions into a head scissors, then breaks.  They lock up again  and trade holds.  Devon lands a flying shoulder block for 2.  Shelley drops out of a suplex attempt and avoids Devon in the corner.  Shelley ducks punches.  Devon ducks an enzuigiri.  Shelley drops Devon and tags in Sabin.  Guns go for the Skull & Bones, but Devon escapes, drops them, and tags in Ray.  3D go for the 3D, but Sabin bails to avoid it.  Sabin and Ray tear into each other.  Sabin lands some forearms and a springboard cross body for 2.  Ray boots Sabin in the face.  Devon tags in.  3D double team Sabin.  Cover, but Shelley saves.  Shelley blind tags in.  Guns double team Devon.  Cover gets 2.  Shelley goes for a diving stomp, but Devon avoids it and tags in Ray.  Ray works Shelley’s knee.  Shelley avoids getting squashed by a big splash and tags in Sabin.  Guns double team Ray.  Guns knock Devon to the floor and Shelley hits a tope suicida.  Ray avoids Sabin’s dive on the other side of the ring.  Ray charges, but Sabin moves and Ray smashes into the post.  Back inside, the Guns work Ray over.  Ray is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Sabin goes for a Frankensteiner off the top, but takes too long, allowing Ray to powerbomb him off the top!  Cover takes too long and gets 2.  Shelley tags in and prevents a tag from being made in the 3D corner.  Shelley kicks the crap out of Ray.  Ray asks for more and chops Shelley.  Repeat.  Shelley lands an enzuigiri, then goes for a rebound something.  Bubba catches him with an Ace Crusher in midair!  Devon and Sabin tag in.  Devon runs wild.  Devon hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Devon hits a powerslam for 2.  Devon hits a neckbreaker, but Shelley saves.  Guns double team Devon.  Devon slams them into each other.  Devon hits a 360 lariat on Sabin and goes up top.  Devon hits a diving headbutt, but Shelley saves.  Bubba blind tags in and hits the Guns with a double enzui lariat.  3D hit the inverted 3D on Sabin for 2.  3D hit the Wassup headbutt on Shelley.  Bubba tells Devon to get the tables, presumably so they can ruin their final match with a DQ finish.  3D set up the table and triy to whip Sabin through it, but Sabin runs up and flips back.  Bubba goes through the table.  Guns double superkick Devon for 2.  Guns hit Skull & Bones for 2.  Shelley goes for the Shiranui.  Devon fights them off.  3D on Sabin.  Sabin kicks out!  3D are in shock.  They go for it again, but Sabin DDTs Devon, then avoids Bubba’s elbow drop,  Shelley superkicks Bubba.  Guns hit the Skull & Bones on Bubba.  Shelley gets the pin in 17:07.  AWESOME match!  Everybody hugs and makes friends.

Christy Hemme interviews Tommy Dreamer.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam.  They lock up, break, lock up, break, lock up.  Dreamer ducks a kick and gets a schoolboy for 2.  RVD gets a leg scissors cradle for 2.  They argue, then start punching each other.  RVD hits an ineffective shoulder block.  Dreamer hits a clothesline.  RVD bails.  Dreamer hits a diving clothesline off the apron.  RVD kicks Dreamer in the head.  RVD drops Dreamer’s balls across the barricade, then hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDRAIL LEG DROP!  RVD throws a chair into the ring.  There was no ring announcing for this match, so I have no idea what the gimmick is.  Either it’s legal or the referee is an idiot, because RVD grinds the chair into Dreamer’s face.  He tries a slingshot leg drop, but ends up just leg dropping the chair.  Dreamer works RVD’s leg.  Dreamer puts RVD in the tree of woe with the chair.  RVD moves.  Dreamer puts him back in position.  RVD moves again.  Dreamer hits a hangman’s neckbreaker.  Dreamer brings in a ladder and a fresh chair.  RVD stumbles around and tries to dropkick the ladder into Dreamer.  Dreamer avoids it and hits RVD in the face with a ladder.  Dreamer bulldogs RVD into the ladder for 2.  Dreamer goes for a diving elbow drop and hits it on the ladder.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder on the ladder.  That poor, defenseless ladder.  Dreamer hits a sloppy frog splash on RVD for 2.  Dreamer looks to have injured his wrist.  RVD hits a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Eww… you can see the bone poking into the skin on Dreamer’s wrist.  RVD covers for 2.  Dreamer fights back.  RVD kicks him, then slams him onto a chair and goes for the split legged moonsault.  Dreamer moves and chair eats it.  RVD hits Dreamer in the head with the ladder.  Dreamer avoids the Five Star Frog Splash and hits a piledriver for 2 despite the ref clearly seeing RVD’s hand under the ropes.  Dreamer sets up RVD in the corner and uses the ladder as a platform.  He goes for a superplex, but ends up getting crotched on the ladder.  Dreamer falls back still trapped in the ladder.  Ouch.  RVD hits a running dropkick using the chair.  The announcers beg RVD to pin Dreamer and end this debacle.  Dreamer avoids the Five Star Frog Splash again and goes for the Spiccoli Driver, but fails.  RVD whips him into the ladder and goes for the Spiccoli Driver, but fails.  Dreamer tries the DDT, but fails and gets dropped across the chair.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 15:56.  What a sloppy mess of a match.  They make up, presumably realizing that the world should not be subjected to having to watch them wrestle each other again.

Christy Hemme interviews Fortune.

Fortune/EV2.0 hype video.

They’ve turned Borash down so low you can barely hear him.

TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, & Doug Williams of Fortune vs. Rhino, Sabu, Raven, & Stevie Richards, & Brian Kendrick of EV2.0.  Kazarian slaps Kendrick leading to everybody brawling.  Kendrick’s knee gets injured.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Richards for 2.  Kendrick is helped to the back.  It finally breaks down into a tag match as Beer Money double team Richards.  Fortune take turns working over Richards.  He’s the worker of the team, so he has to take the abuse.  Richards catches Kazarian as he goes for Richards’ own superkick and hits him with his own Complete Shot.  Rhino and Storm tag in.  Rhino runs wild.  The other Fortune dudes come in and get their asses kicked.  Rhino goes for the Gore on Storm, but Roode trips him.  Styles hits Rhino with the springboard forearm.  Storm covers for 2.  Roode works over Rhino.  Raven, as he’s done constantly throughout the match, makes random saves.  Rhino takes his turn as the face in peril for a while.  He drops Storm with either a Samoan drop or a half assed TKO.  Styles and Sabu tag in.  Sabu runs wild, looks like crap, and hits a dive on Fortune.  Raven crotches Styles on the top rope.  Sabu goes for a superplex, but Styles fights him off.  Styles goes for the springboard 450, but Sabu avoids it and hits a tornado DDT.  Williams saves.  Everybody hits finishers: Stevie Kick, Axe Guillotine Driver, Evenflow DDT, BEER!  MONEY! double suplex, GORE!  Clusterfuck.  Sabu goes for a tope rope Frankensteiner on Styles, but Styles turns it into the Styles Clash for the pin in 12:04.  Good match.  Ric Flair comes out, praises Fortune, and fires Sabu.  Sabu wants to fight Flair for insulting The Sheik, but is held back.  Flair horribly sings a goodbye song.  RVD and Dreamer come out to say goodbye to Sabu.

Christy Hemme interviews “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero (w/ his congregation, including his brother).  Mickie James and Tara brawl into the interview area.  The congregation break them up.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne hits Mickie from behind with the belt.  Madison and Tara scream at Mickie.

Abyss/Pope hype video.

Lumberjack Match: Abyss vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope beats up Abyss and dropkicks him out of the ring.  Abyss gets back in before the Black Panthers can attack him.  Pope beats up Abyss some more.  Abyss throws Pope out of the ring.  Some congregation members catch him and set him down gently.  Back inside, Pope fails a sunset flip, but hits a diving lariat for 2.  Pope clotheslines Abyss out of the ring.  The congregation throw him back in.  Abyss boots Pope in the face and starts beating him up.  Abyss bear hugs Pope.  Pope fights back.  Abyss hugs him again.  Abyss goes for the Black Hole Slam, but Pope turns it into a DDT.  Pope makes his comeback.  This is boring.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss goes for a chokeslam, but Pope counters and knocks Abyss out of the ring.  He fights off the congregation, but Pope hits him with a dive off the top rope.  Back inside, Pope hits a diving headbutt for 2.  Pope beats up Abyss some more and celebrates with the congregation.  Eric Bischoff comes out and rubs his thumbs and forefingers together as the international sign of money.  Pope’s brother jumps him from behind.  The congregation beat up the Pope.  A fucking swerve just for the sake of doing a fucking swerve.  Pope’s brother throws him back into the ring.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin after a long, boring 12:51.  Boring shit, and of course we have to have a fucking swerve for no reason.  And why do they always wait until late in a match to do the swerve?  What if the match had ended in 2 minutes and you never got the chance to unveil your master plan?

Christy Hemme tries to go into the EV2.0 locker room to talk to Sabu.  Stevie Richards comes out instead and cuts a promo on Fortune.  He challenges AJ Styles to a match on iMPACT!

Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe hype video.

Jeff Jarrett comes out and cuts a promo.  He threatens to shut down the show if the fans don’t stop chanting “YOU SOLD OUT!”  He goes to leave, but Joe comes out and chases  him back to the ring.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe.  Joe wins the lock up.  Jarrett tries to take Joe down, but fails.  Jarrett avoids an elbow drop.  Jarrett ducks a kick and gets a schoolboy for 0.  Joe drops Jarrett with a leg lariat.  Joe beats up Jarrett.  Jarrett beats up Joe.  They trade chops.  That’s a battle that Jarrett is not going to win.  And he doesn’t.  Jarrett counters a powerbomb, trips Jarrett, and locks in an ankle lock.  Jarrett does that “running into a guy against the ropes” and “sliding through the ropes and hitting a guy” stuff that I never know how to describe.  Jarrett comes off the top to hit Joe.  It works once, but fails the second time.  Joe gives a primal yell and kills Jarrett with a lariat for 2.  Joe hits a senton splash for 2.  Jarrett hits the Stroke for 2.  Joe hits an Exploder and goes for the Muscle Buster.  He fails that, goes for a superplex, and still fails.  Jarrett pulls Joe’s head across the top rope and hits the Stroke off the middle rope!  Joe kicks out again!  Jarrett gets a chair.  The referee goes out to stop him.  Joe hits them with a tope suicida.  Joe beats up Jarrett in the ring.  Gunner and Murphy come out and get their asses kicked.  Joe gives the little on the Muscle Buster.  Jarrett attacks Joe with a night stick.  Jarrett chokes Joe out with the stick.  Jarrett locks Joe in Joe’s on Coquina Clutch.  The big geek sends the referee back in.  The referee stops the match and awards it to Jarrett in 10:31.  2 fuck finishes in a row.

Highlight video of the show which isn’t over yet.  They really don’t have any faith at all that the main event will be any good, do they?

Christy Hemme interviews Eric Bischoff, who is celebrating with all of the dudes who betrayed The Pope.

Jeff Hardy/Matt Morgan hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Matt Morgan.  They lock up.  Morgan shoves Hardy.  Hardy bails.  Back inside, Hardy goes for a go behind, but Morgan elbows him in the head.  Hardy sits in the corner and looks sad and befuddled.  Hardy has a flurry of shitty punches, then tries to shoulder block Morgan like an idiot and gets dropped.  Hardy hides in the ropes and gouges Morgan’s eyes.  Hardy tries to beat on Morgan, but Morgan throws him out of the ring.  Hardy wanders around outside.  Morgan challenges him to get back in the ring.  Hardy spits at him.  Morgan follows him out, then back into the ring.  Hardy tries to get in a cheap shot, but fails.  Morgan beats up Hardy on the apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Morgan hits a body slam, but misses a leg drop.  Hardy hits a basement dropkick and starts working Morgan’s leg.  Half assed elbow drop gets 1.  Hardy applies the least painful looking leg lock I’ve ever seen, then transitions into a less ridiculous half crab.  Morgan gets a rope break.  Hardy argues with the referee, then goes back to working Morgan’s leg.  Hardy gets a 2 count off of something, then applies a rear chin lock.  Morgan escapes and makes a comeback.  Morgan hits a discus lariat for 2.  I always pop for that move.  Hardy hits a DDT for 2.  Hardy hits a leg drop, goes to the middle rope, does his brother’s pose, and dives.  Morgan catches him with a chokeslam for 2.  Hardy kicks Morgan in the balls right in front of the referee and doesn’t get admonished.  He hits the Twist of Hate (sic) for 2.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint for 2.  Hardy didn’t kick out, the referee just stopped counting after Hardy kind of lightly kicked him in the head.  Morgan argues with him.  Hardy hits another Twist of Hate for 2.  Hardy argues with the referee.  Morgan beats up Hardy in the corner.  Morgan goes for a backdrop suplex off the top, but Hardy fights him off and hits the Whisper In The Wind.  Hardy hits another Twist of Hate for the pin in 13:05.  This was terrible.  Immortal come out to celebrate with Hardy.  There’s confetti and champagne to celebrate this abortion of a main event.  Flair gets iced.  Again.  Seriously.

The show started off good, then fell off a cliff to the point where the last few matches were horrible.  Further evidence that this company is WCW 2.0.