Archive for Survivor Series

WWE Survivor Series 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Justin Roberts and Tony Chimel are the ring announcers.

WWE United States Championship Match: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  They show Dibiase attacking Bryan on Raw last week.  Dibiase’s music is so freaking horrible.  They lock up and trade arm locks.  Danielson awesomely lands a dropkick.  The lights go down for a second.  Bryan lands a running kick.  Dibiase goes to the apron and suplexes Bryan to the floor.  You don’t see that actually work very often.  Dibiase throws Bryan back inside and lands some clubbing blows on the apron.  Dibiase hits a diving elbow to the apron and knocks Bryan back to the floor.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Bryan fires some European uppercuts.  Dibiase takes him down and pounds on him.  Cover gets 2.  Dibiase applies a rear chin lock.  Dibiase hits a backbreaker and a dropkick for 2.  Dibiase reapplies his rear chin lock.  Danielson escapes and dropkicks Dibiase in the corner.  Danielson lands some kicks and makes his comeback.  He telegraphs a back body drop and gets kicked in the face.  Danielson sends Dibiase outside and hits a tope suicida.  He didn’t land just right and injures his shoulder.  Back inside, Danielson hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Danielson kicks the crap out of Dibiase.  Dibiase catches his leg.  Danielson gets an inside cradle for 2.  Danielson goes for the LeBell Lock.  Dibiase avoids it and hits a lariat for 2.  Dibiase is pissed.  He goes for the Dream Street, but Danielson blocks it and does the Hart/Piper pin from the corner for 2.  Dibiase hits a spinebuster for 2.  Dibiase goes for a superplex, but Danielson slides under him and crotches him on the top rope.  Danielson hits a backdrop suplex off the top rope!  Danielson has hurt the injured shoulder.  He manages to cover for 2.  Danielson goes for the LeBell Lock, but Dibiase counters and catapults Bryan into the turnbuckles, then gets a schoolboy for 2.  Danielson locks in the LeBell Lock for the submission in 9:57.  REALLY good match.

The Miz and Alex Riley appear as Danielson is leaving.  Miz Pearl Harbors Bryan with the briefcase.  They go to the ring so Miz can cut a promo.  The lights go down again.  Miz gets heat by insulting the local sports team and talks about cashing in the briefcase.

Miami!

They show Sheamus attacking Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella on Raw, only to be attacked himself by John Morrison.  Later, Sheamus Pearl Harbor’d Morrison backstage with the pump kick.

Josh Matthews interviews Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Morrison into the corner and slaps him.  They brawl.  Morrison hits a flying head scissors, dropkicks Morrison out of the ring, and hits him with a cool spinning dive.  They fight outside.  Sheamus lands the Polish Hammer and throws Morrison back inside to cover for 2.  Sheamus lands some knee drops to the head.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus applies a rear chin lock.  Sheamus beats on Morrison some more.  Sheamus hits a reverse DDT backbreaker for 2, then applies an arm lock.  Sheamus keeps the heat on Morrison.  Sheamus tries to set up a superplex.  Morrison fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  Sheamus rolls through and hits a British Bulldog powerslam for 2.  Morrison avoids the pump kick and hits an enzuigiri.  They trade punches.  Morrison gets the better of it and makes his comeback.  Morrison lands a kick for 2.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Morrison counters and catapults Sheamus into the corner.  2 matches in a row with that spot.  Morrison hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Sheamus sends Morrison into the corner, then chop blocks his knee.  Sheamus works Morrison’s knee.  He gets a 2 count and argues with the referee.  Sheamus applies a half crab.  Morrison gets a sunset flip for 2.  Sheamus takes Morrison’s knee out again.  Sheamus slaps Morrison.  Morrison drops him with a kick.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge out of the corner.  Morrison counters. ducks the pump kick, and and hits the Flying Chuck.  Morrison hits a running knee strike for the pin in 11:12.  This was a good match, fella.

Knucklehead trailer.

John Cena is in his locker room.  R-Truth comes in.  They bicker.  Truth offers to interfere in the match and attack Randy Orton to help Barrett win, which would mean Cena could keep his job “guilt free.”  Cena couldn’t live with that, so he’s going to call it down the middle.  Truth says he’ll believe it when he sees it.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kaval.  They show Kaval beating Ziggler in a non-title match on Smackdown.  Vickie obnoxiously introduces Ziggler.  Ziggler wins the lock up, but fails at cheap shotting.  Kaval lands a running kick.  Ziggler hits a snapmare and the Perfect neck snap for 1.  Ziggler hits a fireman carry for like 1.  Kaval gets a cradle for 2.  Ziggler yells at Kaval that he doesn’t deserve this.  Kaval hits the handspring cross body for I think 2.  Jack Doane seems to be off his game tonight.  So does Kaval.  Kaval hits corner punches.  Ziggler takes him down after a distraction from Vickie.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler reapplies his rear chin lock.  Kaval fights out and makes his comeback.  Kaval hits a springboard moonsault body block for 2.  Kaval hits a handspring face kick for 2.  That looked like it connected flush.  Kaval goes up top.  Ziggler cuts him off and locks in the sleeper hold on top.  Kaval fights him off and goes for the Phoenix Splash!  Ziggler avoids it.  Ki gets a backslide for 2.  Ziggler hits the Fameaser for 2.  Idiot Cole calls it the Zig Zag again.  Thankfully Striker is there to call him on it this time.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Kaval rolls out.  Ziggler elevates Kaval to the top.  Kaval hits a rebound kick for 2.  Ziggler beats up Kaval.  Kaval gets a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler gets an inside cradle for 2.  Kaval goes for a front cradle, but Ziggler rolls through and gets the pin for 9:35.  This was pretty good, but I’m certain they could do better.  Kaval seemed slightly off tonight.

Miami!

Survivor Series song!

Todd Grisham interviews Jack Swagger, who is mad that he’s not the team captain.  Cody Rhodes shows up to make fun of Swagger’s shoes.  Swagger says they were his grandfather’s.  Alberto Del Rio, Drew McIntyre, and Tyler Reks show up.  Del Rio disses Rhodes, then talks about destroying Rey Mysterio.  Del Rio says he’s the captain and he’ll buy the beer after they win.  Rhodes says Del Rio is good.

Survivor Series Elimination Match: The Big Show, Chris Masters, Kofi Kingston, Montel Vontavious Porter, & Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, Tyler Reks, & Alberto Del Rio.  MVP gets a big reaction in his hometown.  Del Rio is introduced by his personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez.  I like how Mysterio’s team are all wearing blue.  Mysterio and Del Rio start.  Del Rio stalls and tags in Rhodes before any contact is made.  Mysterio and Rhodes go at it and have a nice little exchange.  Rhodes hits hit springboard kick for 2.  Del Rio tags in and beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio rallies and tags in MVP.  MVP hits a Sliding Yakuza kick for 2.  MVP ducks an enzuigiri and hits a Yakuza kick in the corner for 2.  Kofi tags to continue working over Del Rio.  Masters quickly tags in to get in on the fun.  Del Rio gets the better of Masters and tags in Reks.  Reks beats up Masters.  McIntyre tags in and beats up Masters.  McIntyre comes off the top, but Masters catches him with raised boots.  MVP tags in and runs wild on McIntyre.  MVP hits his crappy Exploder and the Ballin’ elbow, then decks Del Rio.  MVP tries to suplex McIntyre in from the apron, but Del Rio trips MVP and holds his feet down, allowing McIntyre to get the pin in 5:35.  Sucks to be in your hometown.  Masters hits a Jackhammer on Del Rio for 2.  He goes for the Master Lock, but Del Rio counters and hits an arm breaker.  Del Rio gets the Minoru Special for the submission in 6:44.  Show comes in to a big pop.  Del Rio tags in Swagger.  Swagger tries to take Show down, but fails miserably.  Swagger finally manages to take out Show’s leg.  Del Rio tags in and slaps Show’s head.  That just pisses Show off.  Del Rio tries to tag out.  McIntyre wants none of that.  Del Rio slaps him to tag him in.  Show kills Del Rio with the KO punch, then brings in McIntyre and destroys him.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but but fails.  Show clotheslines McIntyre.  Kofi tags him.  Show slaps Kofi onto McIntyre.  Kofi covers for 2.  Del Rio is being carried out.  Rhodes tags in and works Kofi over.  Kofi punches Rhodes in the face.  Rhodes throws a tantrum and bails to look in his jacket mirror.  Rhodes comes back in and gets hit in the face again.  Show tags in and palms Rhodes’ face.  He goes for the KO punch, but Rhodes flinches.  Show clubs his back, then nails him with the KO punch for the pin in 10:58.  Reks and Swagger beat up Show.  Swagger works Show’s leg.  Show goes for the chokeslam, but Swagger rolls through and locks in the ankle lock.  Show makes the tag to Mysterio, who runs wild on Swagger.  Springboard cross body gets 2.  Swagger boots Mysterio in the face for 2.  Swagger takes a cheap shot at Kofi on the apron.  Kofi drop toe holds Swagger into 619 position.  Mysterio goes for it, but Swagger catches him and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio spines out and goes for the 619, but Reks blind tags in.  Mysterio evades Reks and tags in Kofi.  Cole gets in his “controlled frenzy” line.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and the diving cross body for 2.  Reks ties Kofi to the tree of woe and stomps on him.  Kofi lands some sort of kick on Reks for the pin in 15:09.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock on Kofi.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  Swagger counters the S.O.S.  Kofi counters the Doctor Bomb.  Swagger catches the Trouble In Paradise and locks in the ankle lock for the submission in 15:56.  Show beats up Swagger.  Mysterio tags in and goes for the diving splash off of Show’s shoulders.  McIntyre prevents it.  Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on Mysterio for 2.  Swagger goes for a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits a diving Frankensteiner into the 619.  Mysterio hits the diving splash off of Show’s shoulders for the pin in 17:34.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock on Mysterio.  Mysterio counters, tags Show, and hits the 619.  Show chokeslams McIntyre for the pin to win it in 18:12.  Really fun match.  Dear idiot Chimel: They’re not SOLE survivors if there are TWO of them.  Love, Chui.

TLC hype!

WWE Champion Randy Orton is thinking in his locker room.  Josh Matthews comes in to interview him.  Orton is sick of talking about John Cena.  He’s ready to deal with this shit and be done with it.

Handicap Match for the WWE Divas Championship: Michelle McCool & Layla (c) vs. Natalya.  They’ve stopped calling it the Unified championship.  McCool and Natalya start.  McCool is especially bitchy tonight.  They actually have a decent exchange.  Layla tags in and continues to work over Natalya.  McCool takes Natalya outside.  Layla beats up Natalya outside.  Back inside, LayCool go for a double suplex, but Natalya suplexes both of them.  They end up back outside.  McCool beats up Natalya.  McCool misses a running knee. Natala sends her over the barricade, then sends Layla into her.  McCool and Natalya end up back inside.  LayCool conk heads.  Natalya locks McCool in the Sharpshooter for the submission to win the title in 3:36.  Yay!  Natalya is overjoyed.  Until LayCool jump her from behind.  BETH PHOENIX runs in to make the save.  Beth kicks ass, gives Layla the Glam Slam, and hugs Natalya.  Beth lifts Natalya up on her shoulders to celebrate the title win.

Paper Jamz commercial featuring The Miz.

Edge/Kane hype video.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Kane (c) vs. Edge.  Edge brings out an empty wheelchair.  No Paul Bearer.  Edge slaps Kane.  They brawl.  Kane catches Edge coming off the top and goes for the chokeslam.  Edge avoids it and lands a spin kick for 2.  They do some convoluted run around shit and brawl outside.  They brawl in the ring.  Edge raps Kane’s leg around the post and goes to work on the leg.  Edge goes for the Edgecution.  Kane counters by sending him to the apron, then booting him to the floor.  Kane asks where his father is and beats on Edge.  Kane hits the basement dropkick for 2.  This is so boring.  Edge fights out of a headlock and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge counters the diving lariat with a dropkick.  Remember when that was a mind blowing spot in 1995?  Edge fails to knock Kane down with clotheslines.  He cross bodys(?) Kane’s back against the ropes for 2.  I don’t get spots like that.  Edge comes off the top.  Kane catches him with a punch for 2.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane goes up top.  Edge cuts him off, but gets crotched on the top rope.  Kane hits the diving lariat for 2.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes for the spear, but Kane boots him in the face.  Kane hits the chokeslam for 2.  Why won’t this match end?  Kane goes for the Tombstone.  Edge slips out and hits the spear.  Instead of pinning Kane, Edge just lies there, so it’s a double pin in 12:49.  Edge’s music plays and Chimel is announced as the new champion, but the referee corrects him.  Kane attacks Edge.  Edge ramps Kane into the post, then puts him in the wheelchair and rams him through the barricade.  This whole mess was garbage.  A stupid storyline, a shitty match, and a fuck finish.  That’s the trifecta.

WrestleMania XXVII!

John Cena is still in his locker room.  Wade Barrett comes in and mentions that this was the site of the original Nexus attack on Cena.  They have a nice chat about old times and times to come.  Cena says he knows exactly what he’s doing.

Miami.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of the Nexus (w/ David Otunga, Michael McGillcutty, & Husky Harris) vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Slater fucks around.  Santino gives him a judo throw.  Gabriel tags in, throws some kicks, and gets taken down with a headlock.  Kozlov tags in and beats up Gabriel.  Gabriel takes out Kozlov’s leg.  Kozlov hits Gabriel with a battering ram headbutt.  Gabriel pulls Kozlov’s head across the top rope, then hits a neckbreaker.  Nexus get the heat on Kozlov.  This is boring, but the crowds are into it.  Slater cheap shots Santino, prompting Santino to distract the referee so Nexus can double team him.  Kozlov nails Slater with a lariat and makes the hot tag to Santino.  Santino runs wild.  He hits the falling headbutt on Slater.  Gabriel saves.  Kozlov takes out Gabriel.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Otunga and McGillicutty distract Santino.  Slater hits Santino with his necktie move for the pin in 5:11.  Lame.  Boring.  Next?  Ugh.  Nexus beat up Kozlov and Santino.  The iBooker 9000 dings in and, via obnoxious Cole, reminds Nexus that they are banned from ringside during the main event.

Orton/Barrett/Cena hype video.  Mostly about Cena.

WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Wade Barrett.  John Cena is the referee.  If Barrett wins the title, Cena is free from Nexus.  If Barrett doesn’t win, Cena is fired.  They lock up like two bulls locking horns.  Orton backs Barrett into the corner and breaks.  Orton hits a shoulder block.  Orton takes Barrett down with a side headlock.  Usually that sequence goes in the opposite order.  They take turns beating each other up.  Cena calls it right down the middle and enforces the rules, alternately distracting both participants and allowing the opponent to get the advantage.  They brawl outside.  Barrett whips Orton into the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  They go back and forth.  Barrett hits a knee lift and a basement kick for 2.  Barrett applies a rear chin lock.  Orton escapes.  They brawl.  Orton gets the better of it and clotheslines Barrett out of the ring.  Barrett sends Orton into the post.  Orton catches Barrett coming back in.  Barrett gouges Orton’s eyes.  Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  Barrett lands a boot and a clothesline.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett argues with Cena.  Barrett hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett is starting to get pissed.  He argues with Cena about the count again.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  Barrett bails.  Orton clotheslines Barrett on the outside.  Barrett cuts Orton off coming back inside and hits the Wasteland.  Orton grabs the bottom rope to break the count at 2.  Barrett is really pissed now.  Barrett shoves Cena.  Cena shoves Barrett into the RKO and counts the pin for Orton in 15:16.  Slow, boring match.  Striker immediately yells “CENA’S FREE!”  Cole corrects him and says that Cena is fired.  Cena is the dumbest babyface ever.  Nexus run in.  Cena and Orton clean house.  Cena presents Orton with the belt and they hug, despite never being friends.  Orton leaves.  Cena takes off his various armbands.  He hugs Michael Cole of all people, then the sign guy and some other guy, then goes out into the crowd, then leaves.

This show was really good for the first half, then fell off a cliff.  Cena proved himself to be the dumbest babyface this side of Sting, but I guess it doesn’t matter since nobody believes retirement stipulations.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 11/19/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video package of shit that went down last week, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio cuts a promo about Survivor Series.  They show Del Rio beating Sergeant Slaughter on Monday’s Raw.  MVP comes out to his horrible entrance music and cuts a promo on Del Rio about having respect for legends.  Del Rio says MVP will never be a legend, but Del Rio already is one.  Them’s fightin’ words to MVP, but Del Rio bitches down because he has a match with Mysterio tonight, but says MVP couldn’t handle him anyway.  He books MVP vs. Drew McIntyre, so apparently Del Rio has booking power now.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Drew McIntyre.  They brawl.  MVP hits a crappy belly to belly suplex.  McIntyre bails.  MVP follows.  McIntyre reverses MVP into the barricade.  MVP hot shots McIntyre into the barricade, then throws him back in the ring.  Commercials.  Less than a minute into the match.  MVP front suplexes McIntyre into the ropes.  McIntyre bails and tries to hide under the ring.  MVP goes after him.  McIntyre pulls MVP’s arm into the metal part of the ring, then rams his arm into the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  McIntyre works MVP’s arm.  MVP makes his comeback and hits a misplaced Yakuza kick for 2.  MVP hits his weak Exploder, then the Ballin’ elbow.  McIntyre boots MVP in the bad arm and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  McIntyre beats up MVP in the corner.  The referee separates them.  MVP hits the Shining Yakuza kick for the pin in 7:28.  It was fine.  His music is still awful.

Edge is backstage ranting about Kane to Paul Bearer, who is still bound and gagged.  How did Edge get him all the way from England to Virginia?  Edge pulls the tape off of Bearer’s mouth.  Bearer screams for Kane.  Edge says nobody knows where they are.  Except for, you know, the camera guy.  Edge wants to race wheel chairs.  Bearer refuses to participate.  This is retarded.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. complains to Teddy Long in the office.  Kane storms in.  Chavo leaves.  Kane sits down and asks where Paul Bearer is.  Teddy doesn’t know.  Kane doesn’t believe him, so he screams a lot and wrecks Teddy’s office.

Survivor Series Showdown Match: Chris Masters vs. Jack Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger takes Masters down.  Masters punches Swagger in the face.  Swagger rams Masters into the corner, then hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger applies an abdominal stretch.  Masters hip tosses his way free, hits a Samoan drop, and gets rolling.  Masters hits a diving shoulder block for 2.  Swagger kicks Masters in the knee.  Masters goes for the Master Lock.  Swagger steps over the ropes to the apron to break it.  Neat!  Swagger rams Masters’ ankle into the post.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:58.  Fine.

Edge talks to Paul Bearer some more, then throws a ball at him.  This is TNA levels of stupid.  Commercials.

Moments ago, that ^ retarded shit happened.

Kaval is in the ring for a match against Dolph Ziggler.  They show Ziggler beating Mark Henry on Raw.  Ziggler comes out, cuts a promo, and insults Kaval, calling him a “nobody.”

Non-Title: Kaval vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler beats up Kaval.  Cole goes on his usual tirade about the internet.  Kaval sends Ziggler’s shoulder into the post.  Kaval gets rolling and hits a handspring cross body for 2.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag.  Kaval holds onto the ropes to avoid it.  They trade cradles.  Kaval rolls through one and gets the pin in 1:57.  Kaval finally won a match!  He looks as shocked at winning as Ziggler does at losing.  Kaval celebrates, then says that he’s taking his PPV title shot (that he got for winning NXT) to face Ziggler for the Intercontinental title at Survivor Series.

Tonight, Del Rio vs. Mysterio!  Next, Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Edge pushes Paul Bearer around in the wheelchair.  This shit is so fucking stupid.

Survivor Series Showdown Match: Kofi Kingston vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  They lock up.  Rhodes hides in the ropes, then cheap shots Kofi.  Kofi hits Rhodes in the face.  Rhodes bails and throws a fit, then looks at himself in the mirror on his ring jacket.  Commercials.  Less than a minute into the match.  Rhodes beats up Kingston.  He’s good and pissed off.  Kofi takes Rhodes down with a headlock.  Kofi hits a monkey flip.  Rhodes bails again.  Kofi hits a baseball slide dropkick and throws Rhodes back into the ring.  Rhodes hits a couple of front suplexes and a knee drop for 2.  Rhodes pulls Kofi’s middle into the ring post.  Cover gets 2.  They brawl a bit.  Kofi gets the better of it and beats Rhodes down in the corner.  The referee makes his break.  Kofi gets rolling.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick in the corner, then a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop, then goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Rhodes easily avoids it and misses his slingshot kick.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 10:19.  This didn’t do anything for me.

Kane rants at Rosa Mendez backstage.  Random.

Tonight, Del Rio vs. Mysterio!  Commercials.

Smack of the Night: Tthose “little bitches” LayCool talking shit to Mae Young on Raw.

WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Natalya & Kelly Kelly.  The title is no longer being referred to as “Unified.”  Layla and Kelly lock up.  Kelly hits a Thesz press and rams Layla’s head into the mat.  I fucking hate that shit.  Natalya tags in and Irish whips Layla.  McCool tags in.  Natalya hits a wheelbarrow German on McCool for 2.  Natalya gets a reverse cradle just after Layla blind tags in.  LayCool hit a double big boot.  Layla pins Natalya in 1:12.  That was… flat.  This was pointless.  I guess LayCool had to get their heat back after losing to an 87 year old woman on Raw.

Edge has pizza, bread sticks, and wings.  He abuses Paul Bearer with a bread stick, pours marinara sauce on him, shoves a brownie into his ear, throws hot wings on him, and hits him in the head with a pizza.  I’m starting to hate wrestling again.  Edge says it’s time to go see Kane and wheels Bearer away.

The Big Show is headed our way!  Commercials!

Kane is sulking somewhere outside.  He breaths like he’s about to ejaculate, then gets up and yells, then sits down and cries.

Survivor Series Showdown Match: The Big Show vs. Tyler Reks.  Reks tries.  You have to give the guy credit.  Show grabs him by the throat.  Reks fights out and drops Show with a lariat for 2.  Reks goes for a kick, but Show catches his foot.  Show makes his comeback and hits the chokeslam for the pin in 1:19.  Lots of really short matches tonight.

Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio.

Update: Mean Gene Okerlund plugs merchandise!  Commercials.

John Cena video package.

Survivor Series hype.

Edge and Paul Bearer has arrived to the arena.  They both call for Kane.  Edge goes to put Paul back in the van.  Ugh.

Kane has heard Paul Bearer’s cry.  He walks past Caylen Croft and some geek with a tattoo on the side of his neck.  That ends up being Croft’s last hurrah in WWE.  Kane finds Paul in the van.  Edge jumps off the top of the van, beats Kane up, then leaves to throw Paul Bearer into the river or something.  This shit is awful.  Commercials.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez (again) to introduce Alberto Del Rio (again).

Survivor Series Showdown Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Del Rio wins the lock up and the cheap shot.  Del Rio beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio fights back.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Del Rio in the head for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Del Rio bails.  Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, and Tyler Reks run in and attack Mysterio to cause the DQ in 1:51.  Kofi Kingston, Chris Masters, MVP, and The Big Show make the save.  Teddy Long comes out and orders a 10-man Battle Royal NEXT!  Commercials.

Survivor Series Showdown Battle Royal featuring Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, “Dashing” Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, Tyler Reks, Rey Mysterio Jr., The Big Show, Kofi Kingston, Chris Masters, and Montel Vontavious Porter.  Everybody brawls for a long time.  Masters eliminates Rhodes.  Kofi and Masters try to eliminate Reks, but fail.  Mysterio fails to eliminate Del Rio.  Reks eliminates Masters.  More brawling.  Kofi eliminates Reks.  Mysterio fails to eliminate McIntyre.  MVP drops a knee on Del Rio’s face.  McIntyre eliminates Kingston.  Del Rio dumps MVP.  Show tosses McIntyre.  Mysterio eliminates Del Rio with a head scissors.  Mysterio hits Swagger with the Bombs Away.  Swagger locks him in the ankle lock.  Mysterio counters out.  Show kicks Swagger.  Mysterio hits the 619.  Show eliminates Swagger.  Show and Mysterio win in 5:17.

Pretty lame Smackdown this week.  Let’s hope Survivor Series is better.

WWE Superstars 11/18/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  JTG wants to wrestle in his sunglasses.  The referee makes him take them off, so JTG puts them on him.  JTG gets the jump on Chavo and beats him up.  JTG dropkicks Chavo out of the ring.  Chavo comes back in and gets in a cheap shot to get the advantage.  Chavo beats up on JTG for a bit.  JTG lands an elbow smash and makes his comeback.  Chavo boots him in the gut and charges, but JTG back body drops him.  JTG hits the Mugshot for 2.  Chavo drops JTG with a koppou kick and goes for the Three Amigos.  JTG blocks the third.  Chavo elbows him in the face and goes up top.  JTG cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Chavo drops down and pulls JTG’s head across the top rope.  Chavo hits the frog splash for the pin in 5:33.  Yay!  Chavito won a match! Fine little match.

WrestleMania tickets are on sale!

Tonight, Melina & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox & Maryse!  You call that a main event?

WWE.com plug.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barreta.  They lock up.  They break.  Hawkins kicks Barreta in the gut and grabs a side headlock.  Barreta does a leapfrog, drop down, shoulder block.  Barreta lands another blow for 2.  Barreta charges Hawkins, but misses and takes a bump out of the ring.  Hawkins goes outside and rams Barreta into the side of the ring.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Hawkins applies a rear chin lock.  Hawkins hits a suplex for 2.  Hawkins reapplies his rear chin lock.  Barreta fights out and hits a backdrop suplex.  Barreta makes his comeback and hits a springboard dropkick to the back for 2.  Hawkins hits a neat spinning suplex thingy for 2.  He argues with the referee, then pounds on Barreta.  Hawkins goes up top.  Barreta cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Hawkins knocks him down.  Barreta springs back up and hits top rope Frankensteiner!  Barreta hits his modified tornado DDT for the pin in 4:56.  Good little match.

Tonight, Melina & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox & Maryse!

We’re to the Raw portion, which means a completely different looking arena because of the special set from Raw this week.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  He introduces CM Punk to come out and do commentary with Scott Stanford.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Primo (w/ AJ).  Primo grabs a side headlock.  Yoshi hits some arm drags.  Primo half assed throws him through the ropes.  Yoshi gets a schoolboy for 2, then grounds Primo with a headlock.  Yoshi lands some chops and a spin kick for 2.  Yoshi hits a handspring elbow for 2.  Yoshi dropkicks Primo out of the ring.  Primo makes it to the apron.  Yoshi dropkicks him off.  I love this old school arena set up so much.  Insta-commercials.  Primo gets the heat on Yoshi.  Yoshi fires some chops.  Primo does one of those “slide through the ropes against the guy” deals.  Cover gets 2.  AJ is gorgeous.  Yoshi hits a cross body for 2.  Primo hits an elbow smash for 2.  Primo beats up on Yoshi.  Primo sets up Yoshi on the top rope.  Yoshi fights him off.  Third match in a row with that spot.  Yoshi hits the diving spin kick for the pin (about 5 minutes shown).  Good little match.

Tonight, Melina & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox & Maryse!

Survivor Series hype.

The “main event” is next!

Melina & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox & Maryse.  Melina and Fox lock up.  Melina does a splits arm drag and a dropkick, then a knee to the back for 2.  Gail tags in and hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Gail get a sunset flip for like 1.  Gail hits an arm drag.  Maryse tags in and gets dropkicked.  Gail knocks Alicia off the apron.  Alicia trips her up.  Gail hits Alicia with a rana off the apron.  Maryse gets the jump on Gail back inside and gets 2.  Fox and Maryse double team Gail with the old Spirit Squad move.  Fox covers for 2.  Really?  They get the heat on Gail.  Gail hits Fox with a neckbreaker and makes the hot tag to Melina.  Melina runs wild.  Gail takes out Fox.  Melina schoolgirls Maryse for the pin in 4:50.  Fine, I guess.

Pretty decent little show this week.

WWE Superstars 11/4/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Jack Swagger (w/ The Swagger Soaring Eagle) vs. Kaval.  They lock up.  Swagger cranks Kaval’s arm.  Kaval kicks him and escapes.  Swagger beats up Kaval in the corner.  Kaval fights back.  Swagger throws him out of the ring.  Kaval slings back in as Swagger slips out and hits a dropkick and a dive.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Kaval lands a kick for 1.  Swagger connects with a knee lift that knocks Kaval to the apron, then knocks him off the apron into the barricade.  Swagger rams Kaval’s back into the barricade, then throws him back in and covers for 2.  Swagger applies sort of a chickenwing armlock.  Kaval fights out and gets booted out of the ring.  Back inside, Swagger locks Kaval in a front face lock, then hits a backbreaker.  Kaval tries to fight back, but gets cut off with another knee lift.  Swagger throws Kaval across the ring and hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger has Kaval in an abdominal stretch.  Swagger goes for a move, but Kaval lands up on top of him for 2.  Swagger goes to the apron.  Kaval knocks him off with a handspring kick.  Back inside, Kaval makes his comeback.  Kaval hits a kick to the corner for 2.  Kaval goes for a springboard, but Swagger avoids it and hits a German suplex for 2.  Swagger tries to suplex Kaval from the apron.  Kaval counters him and gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Kaval tries and fails to whip Swagger, but drops him with a koppou kick.  Kaval goes up top but Swagger cuts him off.  Kaval hits a springboard enzui leg lariat for 2.  Kaval goes to the apron again.  The eagle trips him.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win (9:51 shown).  Pretty good match.

NXT recap.

Tonight, Mark Henry vs. The Usos in a Handicap Match!

Luke Gallows vs. Vance Archer.  Archer attacks.  Gallows beats him up.  Gallows goes for a boot and gets crotched on the top rope.  Archer beats up Gallows.  Archer hits a leg drop for 2.  Archer hits a Rock Bottom ass drop thing for 2.  Archer goes up top.  Gallows pulls him down and makes his comeback.  Gallows lowers the straps and hits a big splash for 2.  Archer boots Gallows in the corner.  Gallows rallies and hits the Gallows Poll for the pin in 3:09.  Meh.

Tonight, Henry vs. Usos!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Scott Stanford and Jerry Lawler are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim.  They lock up.  They break.  They lock up again.  Fox takes Gail down with a side headlock.  Gail counters into a head scissors.  Gail hits an arm drag and works on Fox’s arm.  Fox fights out.  Gail hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Fox hits a backbreaker, then a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Fox hits a back body drop.  Fox pulls Gail’s hair.  Of course.  Fox hits another backbreaker for 2.  Gail hits a powerslam or something for like 1.  Gail makes her comeback.  Fox tries to bail.  Gail throws her back in.  Fox cuts Gail off with a cheap shot.  Gail catches her with the Eat Defeat for the pin in 5:01.  Okay little match.

Henry vs. Usos TONIGHT!

Edge hype video.  He’ll face Alberto Del Rio tomorrow night on Smackdown!

Survivor Series hype.

The main event (if you can call it that) is NEXT!

They show clips of the Henry/Jey match from last week where Jimmy got involved.  Tonight, somebody gone get they ass kicked!

Handicap Match: Mark Henry vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina).  Henry wants Jimmy, but Jey jumps him from behind.  Henry kicks his ass.  Henry drags Jey to the corner to try to make him tag, but Jimmy wants none of that.  Jimmy blind tags in and jumps Henry from behind.  Jimmy beats up Henry on the ground and tries to get a pin, but that’s not happening.  The Usos double team Henry.  Henry makes his comeback on Jey.  Jey avoids getting squashed with a big splash.  Tamina takes a cheap shot at Henry.  Jey drops Henry with a kick and tags in Jimmy.  Jimmy hits the Superfly splash for the pin in 3:12.  Okay.  Henry vs. The Usos & Tamina next week?

Pretty lame show besides the first match.

WWE Bragging Rights 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open.  Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 presents, for the only time this year (that is a blatant lie), Raw vs. Smackdown!  It’s Bragging Rights.  For the record, it took 2 1/2 minutes to get the first outright lie of the show.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We’re LIVE from Minneapolis.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett for the WWE Championship!  Plus, the Bragging Rights trophy is on the line!  They show the Buried Alive grave site, then something worse that being buried alive happens…

…Vickie Guerrero speaks.  She introduces her man, the Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler.

Justin Roberts and Tony Chimel are the ring announcers.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  Big “DANIEL BRYAN!” chants.  Ziggler scores a takedown.  Bryan gets him in a heel hook.  Ziggler reaches the ropes and bails.  Ziggler takes Bryan down again and scores a 2 count.  Ziggler gets a crucifix hold for 2.  Bryan attacks Zigglers arm.  Ziggler bails and hides behind Vickie.  Bryan jumps over her and hits Ziggler with a flying knee.  Back inside, Bryan hits a running dropkick to the corner.  Ziggler tries to bail again.  Vickie screams at Bryan.  Ziggler pulls Bryan’s arm into the top rope.  Back inside, Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler chokes Bryan against the ropes, so he should be fired soon.  Cover gets 2.  Ziggler applies an arm lock.  Ziggler goes for a neckbreaker, but Bryan turns it into a backslide for 2.  Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Ziggler hits a reverse body slam for 2.  Ziggler clamps on a rear chin lock.  Bryan tries to fight out.  Ziggler throws him down and hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  Ziggler hits an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler applies a scissored chin lock.  Bryan fights out and charges Ziggler in the corner, but Ziggler avoids the shot and covers for 2.  Ziggler hits some elbows to the neck for 2.  Ziggler hits a quick fireman’s carry for 2.  Ziggler applies a body scissors.  Crowd chants “LET’S GO BRYAN!”  Bryan escapes with a jawbreaker.  They avoid each other in the corner.  Bryan lands a bunch of kicks and a knee to the face.  Bryan backflips over Ziggler and hits a running clothesline.  Bryan drops Ziggler again and covers for 2.  Ziggler kicks Bryan in the head.  Bryan responds in kind.  Bryan hits a springboard kick for 2.  Ziggler ducks a Buzzsaw kick and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler kicks Bryan in the face HARD for 2.  Bryan holds on to the top rope to avoids the Zig Zag and hits the Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Bryan goes up top.  Ziggler crotches him and tries to set up a superplex, but Bryan slips under Ziggler and crotches him.  Bryan goes for a backdrop suplex off the top, but Ziggler lands on top for 2.  Bryan turns it over for 2.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold, but Bryan counters.  They nail each other with cross body blocks.  Vickie screams obnoxiously.  They trade headbutts on their knees.  Bryan kicks Ziggler in the face.  Ziggler gets a schoolboy for 2.  Pinfall reversal sequence.  Fuck yeah!  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 3, but Bryan’s foot was on the bottom rope!  Ziggler argues with the referee.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Bryan tries to roll out and fails.  He does manage to reach the bottom rope.  Ziggler yells at Bryan.  Bryan locks in the LeBell Lock for the win in 16:16.  Fucking awesome match.  Minneapolis LOVES Daniel Bryan.  Vickie and Ziggler argue with the referee, who tells them to leave.  Crowd chants “YOU TAPPED OUT!”

The Miz and Alex Riley are watching backstage.  Miz is actually happy to see Bryan win.  Sheamus and CM Punk come in.  They argue about who should be Team Captain.  Santino Marella comes in looking for snacks and beverages.  They argue about who is taking orders.  Santino orders Sun Chips.  Sheamus says if anyone gets in his way, he’ll kick their head off.  Miz tells Punk that Team Raw is awesome.  Punk says some of them are awesome.  Riley tells Miz to get his shit together.  Miz tells Riley that the chaos means Team Raw is ready.

Minneapolis!

Soldiers are here!

WWE Tag Team Champions “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre come out to cut a promo.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  I hate how they’re doing this horseshit on PPV now.  iBooker says there is a Raw team there to challenge them to night.  Wade Barrett comes out and introduces their opponents: David Otunga and… John Cena!

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre (c) vs. John Cena & David Otunga of The Nexus.  Otunga and Rhodes start.  Rhodes hits a drop toe hold and immediately tags in McIntyre.  The champs take turns beating on Otunga.  Otunga finally gets away and chops/tags Cena.  Cena locks up with Rhodes.  Cena gives a clean break.  Rhodes cheap shots him.  Cena hits the Fisherman suplex for 2.  Cena hits a stalling suplex for 2.  Otunga bitches at Cena for not tagging him in when hold.  Rhodes Pearl Harbors Cena.  Rhodes and McIntyre work over Cena.  Cena tries to fight back, but McIntyre hits him with a Complete Shot for 2.  Rhodes tags in and locks Cena in an arm trap camel clutch.  Cena picks up Rhodes and drops him to escape it.  Cena starts his comeback.  McIntyre tags in.  Cena continues his comeback.  He still refuses to tag in Otunga.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Cena sends him outside.  Rhodes blind tags in and goes for the Cross Rhodes.  Cena counters and locks in the STF for the win in 6:28.  Otunga celebrates with both belts like he played a part in the victory.  Cena hits him with the Attitude Adjustment and leaves with both belts.  So shouldn’t he be fired now?  Wasn’t that the deal?  The match was just there.

Knucklehead trailer.

They show Goldust stealing the Million Dollar belt from Ted Dibiase Jr. 3 weeks ago.

Josh Matthews interviews Ted Dibiase Jr. and Maryse.

Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. Million Dollar Champion Goldust (w/ Aksana).  Two observations: 1.) Dibiase’s music is fucking terrible.  2.) Holy shit, Goldust gets a match on PPV!  Dibiase beats up Goldust in the corner.  Goldust fights back.    Goldust hits a butt butt, then clotheslines Dibiase to the floor.  Goldust follows and throws Dibiase into the barricade.  Back inside, Goldust goes up top.  Dibiase nails him with a big boot, then grounds & pounds him.  Dibiase lands an elbow smash and a dropkick for 2.  Dibiase grinds his forearm into Goldust’s face.  Dibiase grabs a chin lock.  Goldust fights out.  Dibiase hits a clothesline for 2.  Dibiase hits some fist drops and a knee drop.  Goldust fights back.  Dibiase hits a backbreaker for 2.  Dibiase lands a head kick for 2.  Dibiase grabs a rear chin lock.  Goldust escapes with a backdrop suplex.  Goldust makes his comeback.  Bulldog headlock gets 2.  Goldust misses a cross body and flies out of the ring.  Goldust pulls Dibiase’s head into the top rope, then dives from the top rope.  Dibiase catches him with a dropkick for 2.  Goldust hits a powerslam for 2.  Dibiase goes for the Dream Street.  Goldust counters.  Dibiase hits a spinebuster for 2.  Goldust kind of hits Dibiase with a shoulder block, but it incapaciates both of them.  Maryse Pearl Harbors Aksana.  Aksana ends up in the ring crying.  Goldust goes to check on her.  Dibiase Pearl Harbors Goldust and hits a DDT for the pin in 7:28.  Good match.  Maryse retrieves the Million Dollar belt, but Aksana kicks her ass and takes it.  She flirts with Dibiase or something.  Goldust hits Dibiase with the spinning brainbuster.  Goldust and Aksana leave with the belt.

Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 commercial.

Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out to be the most obnoxious people on the planet.

Unified WWE Divas Championship Match: Layla (c) (w/ co-Unified WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool) vs. Natalya.  They actually do some wrestling.  That’s good.  Layla is approximately 1,000,000,000,000 times better in the ring than McCool.  Natalya hits a stalling suplex for 2.  Layla kicks her out of the ring.  Layla follows.  Natalya kicks her and throws her back in.  McCool tries to attack Natalya, but gets rammed into the barricade.  Layla distracts the referee and McCool finally manages to get her cheap shot in.  Back inside, Layla hits a basement dropkick to the back for 2.  Layla applies a sweet bow & arrow type double arm lock.  Natalya turns around.  Layla scissors her.  Natalya slams Layla.  Layla kicks Natalya in the head.  Natalya hits a short clothesline for 2.  Natalya hits a butterfly suplex and some clotheslines.  Layla boots Natalya in the corner.  Natalya lands a dropkick for 2.  Natalya hits a discus lariat and goes for the Sharpshooter.  Layla gets the ropes, bails, grabs her belt, and tries to leave.  Natalya shoves McCool, then throws Layla back into the ring.  Natalya yells at McCool to stay out of it.  McCool kicks Natalya in the head.  Layla gets the pin in 4:49.  Decent little divas match.

Survivor Series commercial.

Minneapolis!

Josh Matthews is in the grave to hype the Buried Alive Match.

Undertaker/Kane hype video.

Buried Alive Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Kane (c) (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. The Undertaker.  Undertaker meets Kane in the aisle and they brawl.  Undertaker beats up Kane at ringside and in the ring.  Crowd chants “WE WANT BLOOD!”  They’re not going to get it.  They brawl in the crowd.  Back at ringside, Undertaker throws some chairs into the ring.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP~!  VINTAGE UNDERTAKER~!  Taker also throws the top piece of the announcers’ table into the ring.  Kane bails.  They brawl in the crowd again.  They brawl in the ring again.  Kane hits Taker with a chair, then chokes him with it, then hits him with it some more.  Kane hits the chokeslam.  Twice.  He carries Undertaker toward the grave site near the entryway.  Taker slips out and decks him.  They brawl in the aisle.  Alternating “BOO!” and “YAY!” as they trade punches.  Taker wins the punch off.  Taker tries to chokeslam Kane into the grave.  Kane counters, then tries to pull Undertaker into the grave.  Taker locks him in the Hell’s Gate.  Taker rolls Kane into the grave.  Taker spots Paul Bearer behind the tombstone and pushes his head into the mound of dirt.  Kane tries to put Bearer in the grave.  The Nexus (minus Cena) randomly come out and attack Taker.  He fights them and tries to chokeslam Barrett, but Slater cuts him off.  They beat Taker down.  Kane clocks him with the urn and knocks him into the grave.  Nexus start shoveling dirt onto Taker.  Kane runs them off and does his pyro.  The Caterpillar dumps dirt onto Taker to give Kane the win in 16:58.  Long brawl.  I didn’t hate it or anything.  I don’t understand the logic of Nexus helping Kane win, though.  After Kane leaves, Taker’s music plays and the old Ministry symbol appears on the tombstone.  So I guess Taker is dead.  Again.

The announcers are in shock.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Champion Randy Orton.

It’s time for the Bragging Rights match!  This year everyone gets individual entrances, unlike last year.  Roberts introduces the Raw guys.  Chimel introduces 6 of the Smackdown guys.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Bragging Rights Elimination Match: Team Raw: The Miz (w/ Alex Riley), CM Punk, John Morrison, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino Marella, R-Truth, & Sheamus vs. Team Smackdown: The Big Show (w/ Hornswoggle), Rey Mysterio Jr., Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio, & Edge.  Morrison and Reks start.  Reks gets the better of him briefly.  Morrison uses his fancy movements to rally and get a jackknife hold for 2.  Reks hits a shoulder block, then an elbow drop for 2.  May have been 1.  Morrison dropkicks Reks into the corner.  Morrison hits a jumping kick, then tags in Santino.  Morrison dropkicks Reks.  Santino hits his jumping headbutt for 2.  Santino goes for the Cobra, but Reks decks him.  Reks hits hits Torture Rack drop for the pin in 2:37.  Big Zeke comes in ready to fuck some blue guys up.  He slams Reks.  Reks tags in Show.  Jackson attacks, but gets beaten down and thrown around.  Mysterio tags in and hits a springboard dive for 2.  Kofi tags in.  They try to whip Zeke, but Zeke throws them away, then drops them both.  Sheamus tags in and beats up Kofi.  Kofi hits the corner rebound kick and a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi hits a clothesline and the Boom Drop.  He goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Punk intervenes.  Kofi knocks Punk off the apron, then hits the S.O.S. on Sheamus.  Sheamus reaches the bottom rope to to break the count.  Kofi hits counter punches.  Sheamus slips out and hits the Razor’s Edge for the pin at 6:52.  Mysterio comes in and tries to be abusive and elusive.  Sheamus drops him and tags in Punk.  Punk beats up Mysterio.  The crowd is actually pro-Punk.  Bizarre, considering he’s in there against Mysterio.  Punk hits a powerslam for 2.  Sheamus tags in and mauls Mysterio some more.  Sheamus hits a short clothesline for 2.  Punk tags back in.  Mysterio kicks him in the face and hits the ropes.  Del Rio tags himself in.  They argue.  Punk knocks Del Rio into Mysterio.  Del Rio kicks Punk out of the ring.  He throws Punk back in, then throws Mysterio into the barricade.  He’s your teammate!  Back inside, Del Rio covers Punk for 2.  Show yells at Del Rio.  Del Rio shrugs.  Mysterio is helped to the back.  Del Rio hits Punk with a German suplex hold for 2.  Swagger tags in and suplexes Punk.  At least he didn’t bring the stupid eagle tonight.  Swagger hits Punk with a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger locks in a double arm lock.  Crowd chants for Punk again.  Punk drops Swagger with a kick and makes the tag to Morrison.  Morrison runs wild on Swagger.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck for 2.  Swagger avoids the running knee and schoolboys Morrison for 2.  Morrison gets a sunset flip for 2.  Swagger hits an over the shoulder powerslam for 2.  Swagger goes for the springboard Vader Bomb.  Morrison gets his feet  up.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Morrison counters out and drops Swagger with a kick.  Morrison hits the Starship Pain for the pin in 13:08.  Reks comes in and beats up Morrison.  Morrison hits a front flip dropkick and tags in Sheamus.  Sheamus runs wild on Reks.  Reks catches him with a boot and a clothesline.  Reks knocks Morrison off the apron.  Sheamus hits the pump kick for the pin in 14:31.  Show comes in and beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus takes his knee out.  Show knocks Sheamus out of the ring.  Sheamus shoves Hornswoggle.  Show beats up Sheamus on the outside.  They’re both counted out in 15:27.  It’s 5 Raw guys against 2 Smackdown guys.  Edge and R-Truth go at it.  Edge runs wild.  R-Truth break dances and lands a kick for 2.  Edge avoids the scissors kick and spears Truth for the pin in 16:42.  Morrison comes in and goes for Starship Pain.  Edge avoids it and hits the spear for the pin in 17:10.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Punk leapfrogs the spear.  Del Rio tags himself in and beats on Punk.  Del Rio goes for the Minoru Special, but Punk gets a backslide for the pin in 18:05.  Edge is all alone.  But wait!  Rey Mysterio reappears, decks Del Rio, and gets in the corner.  Edge drops Punk with an enzuigiri.  Miz tags in and stops Edge from making the tag.  Crowd chants “MIZ IS AWESOME!”  Minneapolis is very pro-Raw.  Jackson tags in and beats up Edge.  Miz tags in and locks Edge in a rear chin lock.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  Punk puts the boots to Edge.  Edge avoids Punk in the corner and hits an electric chair drop.  Mysterio goes the hot tag and runs wild on Punk.  Kick to the head gets 2.  Punk rolls through a rebound cross body for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Mysterio counters into a sunset flip for 2.  Cradle reversal sequences.  Sweet!  Mysterio hits a headscissors and the 619.  Mysterio hits the springboard splash for the pin in 24:08.  Jackson beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio kicks Jackson from the corner.  Jackson nails him with a shoulder block.  Mysterio comes back and and goes for the 619, but gets dropped.  Jackson picks Mysterio up, but Myzterio hits a DDT.  Mysterio hits the 619 and a botched springboard splash for the pin in 26:12.  Miz jumps Mysterio.  Mysterio hits a rana and goes for the 619.  Riley trips him.  Mysterio hits the 619 on Riley (who jumped in to save Miz).  Mysterio goes for the springboard splash, but Miz gets his knees up and covers Mysterio for 2.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Mysterio rolls out, ducks under, and makes the tag to Edge.  Edge spears Miz for the pin in 27:46.  Great match.  Smackdown wins 2 years in a Raw.  It’s weird.  Raw is clearly the A show, but Smackdown always wins the big showdowns.  Edge, Mysterio, and Hornswoggle celebrate with the trophy.

Knucklehead trailer.  Again.

John Cena sits in the locker room.

Orton/Barrett hype video, which is mostly about Barrett/Cena.

WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Wade Barrett (w/ WWE Tag Team Champion John Cena).  Orton’s music starting got probably the biggest pop of the night.  I love that song too.  Intros.  Barrett takes the mic and tells Cena he’s fired if Barrett doesn’t win the match.  Orton and Barrett lock up.  Barrett wins the lock up and tries to cheap shot Orton.  Orton ducks and beats up Barrett.  Crowd chants “FIRE CENA!”  Barrett throws Cena out of the ring.  Orton and Cena stare at each other.  Orton gets back in the ring.  Barrett goes outside to look at Cena.  A sad dude just standing there in a purple shirt isn’t that interesting to look at.  Barrett beats up Orton.  Orton beats up Barrett.  Orton lands a couple of knee drops for 2.  Barrett boots Orton from the corner and stomps on him.  Barrett goes outside to yell at Cena again.  Orton decks Barrett from behind and rams his head into the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Orton grabs a chin lock.  Barrett escapes and locks Orton a sleeper hold.  Orton escapes via a backdrop suplex.  They go outside again.  Barrett reverses Orton into the steps.  Back inside, Barrett beats on Orton some more.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett works a rear chin lock.  Orton fights out.  Barrett hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  They go outside yet again.  Barrett rams Orton’s back into the side of the ring.  Back inside, Barrett locks Orton in a rear chin lock again.  Barrett goes for another pumphandle slam, but Orton slips out and fights back.  Orton lands a dropkick.  Barrett rolls to the apron.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Barrett counters, knocking the ref down in the process.  Seeing how referees are so fragile, he’s going to be out cold for several minutes.  Barrett orders Cena onto the apron.  Orton knocks Barrett into Cena, then hits Barrett with the 3.0.  The rest of the Nexus come out and attack Orton.  Cena comes in and attacks Nexus.  Slater gets RKO’d.  Cena throws the others out.  Barrett asks him WTF?  Cena says Barrett will lose if he gets DQ’d.  Duh.  The referee wakes up.  Barrett goes for the Wasteland.  Orton counters out and makes his comeback.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  Cena sneaks in and gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett wins by DQ in 14:34.  Cena tries to hand Orton the belt.  Orton drops him with the RKO and poses with the belt.  Barrett gets up.  Orton drops him with the RKO too, then poses some more.  Boring match that only picked up in the last couple of minutes.  I don’t like having a fuck finish close out the PPV.  They should have put the Bragging Rights match on last.

Pretty good show aside from the two boring title matches.

WWF WrestleMania V

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  The World Wrestling Federation: What the world is watching!  The Mega Powers EXPLODE at WrestleMania V!  We’re at the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City, New Jersey!  Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

WWF Women’s Champion Rockin’ Robin sings the national anthem.  She’s terrible.

King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Hercules.  After pre-match shenanigans, Haku jumps Hercules from behind to get the early advantage.  Hercules slams Haku around and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Hercules suplexes Haku back into the ring and hits a couple of elbow drops.  Hercules goes after Heenan stupidly and gets beaten up by Haku on the outside.  Haku hits a couple of backbreakers for 2.  Haku bear hugs Hercules.  Hercules breaks out and Haku catches him with a chop, then chokes him against the middle rope.  Hercules hits a cross body for 2.  Hercules ducks a rebound cross body from Haku and makes his comeback.  Hercules hits a powerslam for 2.  Hercules comes off the top rope, but Haku catches him with a superkick and goes for a diving headbutt.  Hercules moves out of the way and hits a backdrop suplex hold for the pin in 6:53.  It was okay.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews The Rockers.

The Twin Towers (w/ Slick) vs. The Rockers.  The Rockers go with the brilliant strategy of running away at first.  Michaels and Boss Man lock up.  Boss Man sets Michaels on the top rope and slaps him.  Michaels hits a missile dropkick.  Both Rockers deck Boss Man.  Michaels decks Akeem on the apron.  Akeem tags in and prances around.  Michaels does a moonwalk.  The Rockers make quick tags attacking Akeem’s arm.  Akeem tags in Boss Man.  The Towers sandwich Jannetty between them.  Towers make quick tags and Jannetty plays face in peril.  Jannetty ducks Akeem, who accidentally decks Boss Man.  Michaels gets the hot tag and runs wild on Akeem.  Rockers hit a double diving shoulder block on Akeem for 2.  Akeem NAILS Michaels with a lariat and tags in Boss Man.  Boss Man goes for a diving splash, but Michaels moves and covers for 2.  Michaels jumps on Boss Man like he’s going for a rana.  Rockers do some double teaming and hit a double missile dropkick.  Well, Jannetty hit his anyway.  Akeem saves and sends Jannetty outside.  Michaels comes off the top, but Boss Man catches him and powerbombs him.  Akeem hits a big splash on Michaels for the pin in 8:06.  Fun match.

Tony Schiavone interviews Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).

Dibiase and Virgil shake hands with Donald Trump during their entrance.

Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil) vs. Brutus Beefcake.  Dibiase shows off his Million Dollar belt.  Beefcake kicks his ass and throws him around.  Dibiase takes a walk outside, then comes back in and beats up Beefcake.  Beefcake slams Dibiase a bunch and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dibiase comes back in and gets beaten up some more.  Virgil grabs Beefcake’s leg from the outside to let Dibiase get the advantage.  Dibiase chokes Beefcake.  Dibiase hits a diving elbow to the head for 2.  This is getting boring.  Beefcake gets an inside cradle for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Dibiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream.  Beefcake gets a rope break.  Beefcake beats up Dibiase and locks in the sleeper hold.  Virgil gets on the apron.  Beefcake goes after him and gets decked from behind from Dibiase and sent outside.  Virgil beats up Beefcake on the outside.  Beefcake goes after him and gets jumped by Dibiase.  Both guys get counted out in 10:01.  Beefcake sends Dibiase into the post, then chases Virgil, beats him up, and puts him int he sleeper.  Dibiase tries tos ave and gets his ass kicked.  Beefcake tries to cut Dibiase’s hair, but Dibiase bails.  This sucked.

Footage from the WrestleMania brunch with Lord Alfred Hayes and the Bushwhackers.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers.  The Bushwhackers rip Jimmy Hart’s coat off and tear it up.  The Rougeaus jump them.  Rougeaus end up colliding with Hart, then they go outside and hug.  They have a match and it sucks.  Jacques accidentally knee drops Raymond.  They go outside to regroup.  Bushwhackers stomp around the ring.  Rougeaus double team one of the Bushwhackers behind the referee’s back.  Rougeaus work over whichever Rougeau is in the ring.  Bushwhackers hit the battering ram and a double stomach breaker.  One of them pins Jacques in 5:11.  This was the absolute drizzling shits.

Sean Mooney tries to talk to fans, but the Bushwhackers lick him.

Mr. Perfect vs. The Blue Blazer.  Hennig vs. Owen Hart?  I’ll have some of that!  Good wrestling to start.  Perfect slaps Blazer.  Blazer responds in kind.  Blazer hits a couple of slams, dropkicks Perfect out of the ring, and hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Blazer hits Perfect with some European uppercuts, then throws him back inside and cranks on his arm.  Blazer hits some more moves.  Man, Owen was such an athlete.  Blazer hits a backbreaker for 2.  Blazer slams Perfect and goes for a diving splash, but Perfect gets his knees up.  Perfect beats on Blazer and locks him in a camel clutch.  Blazer fights back and hits a powerslam for 2.  Blazer hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Blazer gets a crucifix hold for a close 2 count.  Perfect nails Blazer with a forearm and hits the Perfect Plex for the pin in 5:49.  Best match of the night so far.  It’s sad that both of them are dead now.

Finkel introduces Jesse Ventura to the live crowd like at several other WrestleManias.  I have no idea why.

Footage of Lord Alfred Hayes at a 5K run.  Mr. Fuji enters (in a suit and carrying his cane) to show he’s in good shape.  He finishes.  I smell chicanery.

Run-DMC do the WrestleMania Rap.  I fast forward.

They show the Demolition/Powers of Pain double turn at Survivor Series.

Mean Gene interviews the WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition.

Handicap Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship: Demolition (c) vs. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji.  Demolition’s music is dubbed over, which should be a capital offense punishable by hanging.  Demolition pummel Warlord to start.  The heels try to cut off Smash, but Barbarian gets pummeled by Demolition too.  Powers of Pain try to cut off Ax, but fail again.  Barbarian drops Ax with a big boot when he goes after Fuji to finally let the heels get some heat going.  Not that there’s any heat because this crowd is dead.  Ax plays face in peril.  Ax avoids a diving leg drop from Fuji.  Fuji tags in Warlord in time for him to cut off Ax from making the tag.  A moment later, Ax makes the hot tag to Smash anyway.  Not that it’s hot in front of this dead crowd.  Smash cleans house.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Fuji tries to throw salt at Smash, but hits Warlord.  Demolition Decapitation on Fuji.  Ax pins Fuji in 8:55.  This also sucked.

Tony Schiavone tries to interview WWF Champion Randy Savage, but Savage won’t talk to him.

After the introductions for the Dino Bravo/Ron Garvin match, Finkel introduces Jimmy Snuka for no apparent reason at the most random moment possible.  Snuka comes out to the ring, poses, and leaves.

Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs. Ron Garvin.  Complete shot in the dark guess here: This will suck.  Bravo jumps Garvin from behind and beats him up.  Bravo tries a powerbomb or something, but Garvin punches him down and covers for 2.  Garvin makes his comeback.  Big splash for 1.  Garvin softly pushes Bravo’s head into the top turnbuckle.  Garvin gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Garvin clamps on a sleeper hold.  Garvin goes for a piledriver, but gets backdropped, holds on, and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Bravo hits the side suplex for the pin in 3:59.  This sucked as well.  Garvin decks Bravo after the match, then gives Martin the Garvin Stomp.

The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Strike Force.  Busters beat up Martin in classic awesome Busters fashion.  Martel fights back.  Strike Force send the Busters outside with a double dropkick.  Martel wrestles with Anderson, which is great stuff.  Martel gets Anderson in the crab hold, but Tully thumbs Martel in the eye immediately.  Tully and Tito tag in.  Strike Force put the Busters in stereo figure-four leglocks.  Tully has an awesome exchange with Tito.  Tito inside cradles Tully for 2 after some Busters double teaming.  Tito accidentally hits Martel with a flying forearm.  Busters work over Tito.  Anderson goes up top, but Tito throws him off Flair-style.  Tito goes to make the tag, but Martin refuses.  Martel leaves.  The Busters tear Santana apart.  Tito tries to fight back but gets cut off.  Busters hit a spiked piledriver.  Anderson pins Santana in 9:17.  Really fun little match.  I love all four of these guys.

Mean Gene interviews Rick Martel.  He says he’s tired of carrying Tito.

Gorilla and Ventura discuss Martel’s heel turn.

Finkel introduces Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pit, but Brother Love comes out instead.  He’s wearing a kilt.  He interviews… himself, playing “Rodney Piper.”  Morton Downey Jr. comes out and insults Love a bunch.  Roddy Piper comes out for real.  Piper makes fun of Love while Downey smokes a cigarette and takes his socks off and throws them out of the ring.  WTF?  This is stupid.  Downey throws cigarettes at Piper.  Brother Love finally leaves or something and Piper talks to Downey.  Piper gets annoyed at Downey blowing smoke in his face.  Piper asks Downey to light a cigarette for him, then sprays him with a fire extinguisher.  18 minutes of retarded filler to waste perfectly good PPV time.  Fuck this shit.

No Holds Barred movie trailer.  I saw that movie when I was 12 and was kind of amused by it.

Sean Mooney interviews Donald Trump at ringside.  Man, Mooney was bad here.

Ventura is mad that Hogan is making movies.  Well, his movies are all pretty terrible.

Mega Powers history video.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.

Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  Big John Studd is the special guest referee.  Andre attacks Roberts as soon as he gets in the ring and sends him into an exposed turnbuckle.  How did it get exposed?  Jake fights back and goes for the snake bag, but Andre cuts him off and puts him in a half assed sleeper or something.  Studd warns Andre about driving his ass into Roberts’ crotch in the corner.  Andre chokes Roberts a bunch.  Andre methodically (see: boring) beats up Roberts.  Roberts fights back and Andre does his “tied up in the ropes” bit.  Roberts beats up Andre.  Andre gets free and beats up Roberts some more.  Roberts fights back.  Andre chops Roberts out of the ring.  Andre keeps attacking Roberts to keep him out of the ring.  Studd and Andre argue.  Roberts gets the snake bag.  Andre and Studd shove each other.  Ted Dibiase attacks Roberts from behind and steals the snake.  Roberts follows Dibiase up the aisle, decks him, and takes the snake back.  Andre chokes Studd.  Jake throws the snake in the ring to run Andre off.  Studd DQ’s Andre to give Roberts the win in 9:40.  This was the absolute drizzling shits in a show full of shit.

Sean Mooney talks to some idiot fan in the cheap seats.

Tony Schiavone interviews Sensational Sherri, who vows to take the Women’s title back and trash talks Miss Elizabeth.

The Honky Tonk Man & Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation.  Honky & Valentine aren’t yet known as Rhythm & Blues.  Hart and Honky lock up.  I want to take Jimmy Hart’s megaphone and shove it up his ass.  Hart gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits some atomic drops.  Valentine tags in and gets one too.  Hart dropkicks Valentine.  Hart tags out and slingshots Neidhart into a shoulder block on Valentine.  Hart tags back in and hits a backbreaker and goes for a diving elbow drop, but Valentine avoids it.  Honky tags in and they double team Hart behind the referee’s back.  Jimmy Hart is so fucking obnoxious.  Bret plays face in peril.  Honky hits the Shake, Rattle, & Roll on Bret.  Valentine goes for the figure-four when some kind of leg gimmick, but Bret blocks it.  Valentine cuts him off from making the tag and hits a gut buster for 2.  Bret catches Honky with a cross body for 2.  Neidhart gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Neidhart gets some near falls on Valentine, but Honky saves.  Honky tags in and gets beaten up by the Harts.  Bret hits a suplex for 2, as Valentine saves, then knocks Neidhart off the apron.  Neidhart chases Jimmy Hart around the apron.  Jimmy throws the megaphone in, but Bret catches it and hits Honky in the arm.  This somehow allows Bret to pin Honky in 7:40.  Pretty decent match besides the stupid finish.

Footage of the stupid Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior pose down from the Royal Rumble.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Ultimate Warrior (c) vs. Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Awesomely, Rude has the title belt airbrushed on his tights.  Rude knees Warrior in the belt and hurts himself.  Warrior pushes him around.  Warrior bear hugs Rude.  Rude also has Warrior’s face airbrushed on the ass of his tights.  Rude hits a missile dropkick for 1.  Warrior slams Rude a couple of times and goes back to the bear hug.  Warrior bites Rude’s head, hits a back body drop, and goes for the big splash, but Rude gets his knees up.  Rude hits a piledriver for 2.  Rude hits a chin crusher and tries to dance, but his back is hurt.  Rude hits a clothesline for 2.  Rude hits a side Russian leg sweep (Monsoon calls it a neckbreaker) for 2.  Rude pulls Warrior’s arms back.  Warrior reaches the ropes and shakes them, then breaks loose.  Warrior hits a shoulder block and a face buster.  Two face busters.  Warrior hits a backbreaker, then stumbles and drops him.  Not sure what that was supposed to be.  Warrior throws Rude around some more.  Rude avoids a Stinger Splash and goes for the Rude Awakening, but Warrior powers out and hits a clothesline.  Warrior takes Rude outside, then right back in, clotheslines him out, and tries to suplex him back in.  Heenan grabs Warrior’s feet and holds on as Rude lands on top and gets the pin in 9:42.  This was pretty bad.  Warrior hits a horribly sloppy press slam on Heenan after the match.  Poor Brain.  Poor anyone who had to work with that fuck Warrior.

Bad News Brown vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  Brown goes on the attack immediately and beats up Duggan.  Duggan fights back, so Brown bails.  Brown gets back the apron and Duggan slingshots him back in.  Bad News headbutts Duggan and rams his head into the turnbuckle.  This only strengthens Duggan.  They fight some more.  They go to the floor.  Bad News sends Duggan into the post.  Back inside.  Duggan avoids the Ghetto Blaster and hits the tackle clothesline.  Brown bails and comes back with a chair.  Duggan grabs his 2×4.  They have a sword fight and get double DQ’d in 3:47.  Duggan hits Brown with the 2×4.  I apologize to the Bushwhackers, Rougeaus, Andre, and Jake.  THIS was the absolute fucking drizzling shits.

Mean Gene interviews The Red Rooster.  Seriously.

Bobby Heenan (w/ The Brooklyn Brawler) vs. The Red Rooster.  Heenan begs off.  Rooster rams his head into the turnbuckle.  Rooster beats up Heenan.  Heenan runs into the middle turnbuckle and Rooster gets the pin in 32 seconds.  Not the worst match on the show.  Brawler attacks Rooster after the match.  When Rooster tries to fight back, Brawler and Heenan run away.

Mean Gene interviews Miss Elizabeth.  She’ll be in a neutral corner for the main event.  She’s sad.

Tony Schiavone is in the empty locker room.

Sean Mooney is out amongst the marks.

WWF Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) vs. Hulk Hogan.  Miss Elizabeth is in a neutral corner.  Savage bails before any contact is made.  He throws a Hulkamania finger in the ring for some reason.  They finally lock up.  Hogan shoves Macho away.  Savage hides on the apron briefly, then they lock up again.  Hogan knocks Savage down with a shoulder block and Savage bails again.  They lock up again and Savage finally gets the advantage working a side headlock.  When Hogan tries to fight back, Savage bails again.  Hogan chases Savage around the ring, then hides behind Elizabeth like a dick.  Back inside, Hogan actually does a wrestling takedown and works a side headlock of his own.  Savage hits a backdrop suplex and goes for an elbow drop, but Hogan avoids it and punches him a bunch.  Hogan wrings Savage’s arm.  Savage thumbs Hogan in the eye and hits the diving double axe handle for 2.  Savage works Hogan’s arm.  Hogan escapes it by sending Savage out of the ring.  I love the way Jesse calls the faces out when they cheat and Monsoon acts like it’s okay.  Hogan drops Savage and hits a couple of elbow drops and a boot scrape.  Savage hits a clothesline for 2.  Hogan is bleeding.  Hogan rallies and hits an atomic drop.  He goes for an elbow drop, but Savage avoids it, rams him into the corner, and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Savage beats up Hogan.  Hogan rams Savage’s head into the turnbuckle and punches him a bunch, then clotheslines him in the corner.  Hogan body slams Savage out of the ring.  Liz goes to check on him, but he gets mad at her.  Savage pulls Hogan out of the ring and tries to ram him into stuff, but fails.  One side of the ring skirt has come off.  Hogan rams Savage’s face into the apron, then picks him up to ram him into the post, but Liz won’t let.  Savage rams Hogan into the post, then Liz checks on Hogan.  Make up your mind, woman!  Savage bitches at Liz and threatens her.  The referee makes her leave.  Good.  Savage hits a diving double axe handle to the floor that rams Hogan’s throat into the barricade.  Savage continues to work on the throat.  Savage slams Hogan and hits a knee drop for 2.  Savage chokes Hogan with his wrist tape, then with his hands.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop.  Hogan throws Savage off the cover and Hulks up.  Punches, big boot, and the leg drop for the pin in 17:55.  Pretty good match that somehow kind of feels like a better match than it is from a wrestling standpoint.  Great storytelling, I guess.  Hogan celebrates.  Replay of the finish.

Other than a few passable matches, this show was long and fucking horrible.

WWF Survivor Series 1988

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

LIVE from the Richfield Coliseum in Richfield, Ohio!  Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  I’m sure that means this is going to be a happening.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

Elimination Match: WWF Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, The Blue Blazer, Sam Houston, & Jim Brunzell vs. The Honky Tonk Man, Danny Davis, Greg Valentine, Ron Bass, & Bad News Brown (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Co-captains Warrior and Beefcake shake the ropes together.  Valentine and Beefcake start.  They trade blows.  Davis tags in and puts the boots to Beefcake.  Beefcake leap frogs him and locks in the sleeper to eliminate Davis in 1:18.  Valentine comes in and hammers Beefcake again.  Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Beefcake kicks him away.  Blazer tags in and does an awesome head scissors takeover.  Brunzell tags in and twists Valentine’s arm.  Brunzell lands a dropkick, but didn’t notice Bad News tag in.  Brown kicks Brunzell’s ass.  Brunzell tries to fight back, but it seems to just piss Bad News off.  Brown hits the Ghetto Blaster to pin Brunzell at 5:12.  Beefcake, followed quickly by Houston, go after Brown.  Brown kicks Houston in the face and hits a leg drop for 2.  Brown beats up Houston some more and tags in Valentine.  Valentine hammers him, then tags Brown back in.  Brown holds Houston for a shot, but Valentine accidentally nails Brown.  They argue.  The rest of the heel time tries to soothe things.  Bad News just leaves and gets counted out in about 7:50.  Houston gets a quick cradle on Valentine for 2.  Valentine blocks a sunset flip attempt, then tags in Bass.  Houston gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Bass boots him in the face, then hits a clothesline for 2.  Houston hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Bass knocks him down and drops an elbow for 2.  Houston fires back, tries a monkey flip, but gets powerslammed by Bass for the pin at 10:11.  Warrior comes in and runs wild on the remaining opponents.  Tag to Blazer.  Rocket launcher by Warrior and Blazer on Bass for 2.  Honky tags in and takes a cross body from The Blazer.  Blazer hits a monkey flip and a dropkick on Honky.  Tag to Valentine.  Awesome.  Blazer hits a gutwrench suplex and a knee drop for 2.  Blazer goes up top, but Honky pushes him off.  Blazer lands on his knees.  Valentine locks the figure-four on Blazer for the submission in 12:22.  Valentine attacks his former tag partner, Beefcake.  Bass tags in and beats up Beefcake.  Honky tags in and gets in on that, too.  Beefcake counters a Shake, Rattle, & Roll attempt.  Honky tags in Bass, who hot shots Beefcake into the ropes and covers, but Beefcake gets a foot on the ropes.  Tag to Honky, who comes off the top and gets caught with a shot to the middle.  Beefcake brawls with Honky, then hits an atomic drop and a clothesline.  Beefcake locks in the sleeper.  They both fall out of the ring.  Beefcake locks in the sleeper again.  They both get counted out in 15:42.  Valentine and Bass beat up Warrior.  Warrior rallies and drops them both with a double clothesline.  Warrior pins Bass with a double axe handle at 17:37.  Valentine meets the same fate in 17:50.  Very fun match.  It was a happening!

Tag Team Elimination Match: WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji), The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby Heenan), The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart), The Bolsheviks, & Los Conquistadors vs. The Powers of Pain, The Young Stallions, The Hart Foundation, The Rockers, & The British Bulldogs.  Davey Boy stats with one of the Conquistadors.  Jacques tags in and gets press slammed onto Raymond.  Shawn Michaels, in his PPV debut, gets beaten up by the Bolsheviks.  Jannetty tags in and The Rockers double team Zhukov.  Ax tags in and wails on Jannetty.  Arn Anderson beats up Jannetty, then gets backdropped and dropkicked.  Tully tags in and trades punches with Jannetty.  Jannetty hits an atomic drop, gets punched by the babyfaces, dropkicked, and tags in Jacques.  Jannetty avoids a cross body from Jacques and covers for 2.  Dynamite tags in and hits the snap suplex for 2.  Powers and Raymond tags in, but Davey Boy wasn’t done.  He comes in and gets 2 on Raymond off a Brisco roll.  Powers and Zhukov tag in.  Powers gets beaten up by the heels and tags in Bret Hart.  Hart pins Raymond with an inside cradle at 5:38.  Roma and Volkoff fight.  Sorry, these matches are hard to follow with so many guys and so much going on.  Smash hammers Neidhart, but gets caught with a clothesline.  Barbarian tags in and trades blows with Smash.  A Conquistador tags in and gets his head kicked off by Barbarian.  Warlord tags in and has his way with the Conquistador, then tags in Hart.  The Conquistador makes the tag to Smash.  Tag to Ax.  Demolition beats up Hart.  Tag to Blanchard.  This can’t be fun to read for you guys.  Every freakin’ sentence is “X tags Y” or some such.  The heels take turns beating up Michaels.  Anderson hits him with the spinebuster for 2.  Michaels makes the tag to Jannetty, who runs wild on the Conquistadors.  Volkoff tags in and Jannetty gets a 2 count on him.  Lots of quick tags.  I think we’ve established that, though.  Warlord press slams a Conquistador, who tags in Ax.  Ax and Warlord trade punches.  Smash tags in.  Barbarian tags in.  Tags everywhere!  Barbarian and Smash land some fierce blows on each other.  Barbarian press slams Blanchard into the ropes, then tags in Neidhart, who powerslams Blanchard for 2.  Dynamite tags in and drops Blanchard, then gets thrown out of the ring.  Anderson tags in, puts the boots to Dynamite, and tags a Conquistador.  Zhukov misses a knee drop on Dynamite.  Powers beats up Zhukov.  Powers hits a cross body on Zhukov, but Zhukov rolls through and gets the pin at 15:34.  Michaels hits a diving fist drop on Zhukov for 2.  Barbarian nails Zhukov with a shoulder black.  Blanchard tags in and tip toes over to tag in Volkoff.  Ax clobbers Barbarian with a flurry of fierce blows.  Volkoff comes back in.  Barbarian kicks his head off and tags in Michaels.  Michaels beats him up, then goes with Zhukov.  Jannetty tags in and pins Zhukov with a slingshot sunset flip at 18:20.  Jannetty almost pins one of the Conquistadors with a sunset flip.  The heels take turns beating up Jannetty.  Davey Boy tags in and backdrops a Conquistador, who tags in Blanchard.  Smith and Blanchard trade shots.  Blanchard is an awesome chickenshit heel.  Smash tags in and beats up Davey Boy.  Blanchard taunts the face team before going to the apron.  Conquistadors beat up Davey Boy.  Davey Boy makes the tag to Neidhart.  Harts double team the Conquistador.  Michaels hits a dropkick on the Conquistador.  Marty hits an elbow smash.  The Conquistador ends up in the wrong corner and gets beat up.  Dynamite treats him to a snap suplex and a diving knee drop for 2.  Dynamite hits a backbreaker for 2, then tags in Barbarian.  Barbarian beats the shit out of the Conquistador, who manages to tag out to Blanchard.  Blanchard plays chickenshit and gets the advantage with a cheap shot, then turns Barbarian over to Demolition.  The heel team takes turns beating up Barbarian.  Barbarian kicks the shit out of Arn and makes the tag to Jannetty.  Jannetty hits Arn with an elbow and tags in Neidhart.  Blanchard tags in and hits a cross body for 2.  Neidhart suplexes Blanchard and tags in Hart.  Hart hits a German suplex hold on Blanchard, but Blanchard gets a shoulder up and Hart gets pinned at 27:08.  Dynamite hits a Tombstone on Blanchard for 2.  Bulldogs double team Blanchard.  The Rockers brawl with the Busters and all four are DQ’d at about 29 minutes.  They keep brawling all the way backstage.  Smash beats up Dynamite.  Dynamite fights back.  More quick tags.  Powers of Pain beat up one of the Conquistadors.  Davey Boy hits the vertical suplex on the other Conquistador.  Davey gets a crucifix hold on Ax for 2.  Dynamite shines against Demolition.  Davey Boy press slams a Conquistador again and follows with the running powerslam.  Barbarian and Ax fight.  Smash throws Barbarian out of the ring.  The Conquistadors help beat up Barbarian.  Bulldogs beat up a Conquistador.  Dynamite hits the snap suplex on Smash and goes for the diving headbutt, but misses.  Smash hits Dynamite with a clothesline for the pin in 36:18.  Powers of Pain beat up a Conquistador.  Warlord spears the post.  Ax tags in and beats the shit out of the injured shoulder.  Fuji gets on the apron with his cane for no apparent reason as the heels beat up The Warlord.  He does it again a minute later.  Fuji low bridges Smash, his own man, out of the ring.  Smash gets counted out at 39:48.  Ax bitches at Fuji.  Fuji tells Ax he’s the boss, then whacks him with the cane.  Smash grabs Fuji and throws him to Ax, who slams Fuji at ringside.  The Powers of Pain go outside and help Mr. Fuji up and lead him to their corner.  Fuji trips one of the Conquistadors with the cane, allowing Barbarian to hit a headbutt for the pin in 42:25.  Powers of Pain celebrate with Mr. Fuji.  Demolition comes back out and brawls with the Powers of Pain.  Demolition kicks their asses and runs them off.  There’s your double turn that didn’t really make sense, and I don’t think it really got over.  The match was long and often a clusterfuck, but it was a lot of fun.

Sean Mooney interviews Bad News Brown.  He says his teammates were conspiring against him.  He wants a title shot.  Mooney asks why he deserves it.  Brown says it’s because he’s undefeated.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Mr. Fuji and the Powers of Pain.

Royal Rumble hype.

Gorilla and Jesse hype the matches still to come.

Mean Gene interviews Andre the Giant & Dino Bravo’s team.

Sean Mooney interviews the Mega Powers’ team.

This was all to kill time for intermission.

Elimination Match: Jake Roberts, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, Tito Santana, Ken Patera, & Scott Casey vs. Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo, Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, & Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan & Frenchy Martin).  Rude and Patera start.  Nothing of note happens.  Bravo tags in and wrestles with Patera a bit.  Perfect tags in and Patera drags him into the corner and makes the tag to Roberts.  Roberts has his second, then tags in Santana, who has a nice exchange with Perfect.  Jake and Bravo brawl.  Scott Casey (who?) tags in and tries a monkey flip on Bravo, but gets countered.  Race tags in and works over Casey.  Rude tags in and works over Casey.  Perfect tags in and works over Casey.  Casey realizes he’s boned and tags in Santana, who stays in for about a second before tagging Patera, who stays in for about a second before tagging Duggan.  Duggan takes Perfect’s head off with a clothesline.  Duggan punches Perfect out of the ring, gets into a confrontation with Andre, then tags in Casey.  Casey tries to pick the bones of Perfect, but fails.  Perfect tags Rude, who beats up Casey.  Tito tags in and hits a forearm on Rude for 2.  Duggan tags in and fails at clotheslining Rude, slams him, and fails at elbow drops.  Patera tags in and works over Rude.  Rude manages to hit the Rude Awakening for the pin at 8:21.  Casey, who never learns, tags in and gets his ass kicked.  He manages to get a 2 count on Bravo with a backslide.  Bravo avoids a reverse cradle and hits a side suplex to pin Casey at 9:29.  Tito and Perfect go at it again.  Tito gets an inside cradle for 2.  Duggan tags in.  Perfect catches him with a kick and beats him up.  Duggan Hacksaws up, but gets caught by Andre on the apron.  Andre headbutts Duggan.  Rude tags in and beats up Duggan some more.  Duggan drops Rude with a clothesline.  Race and Tito tag in.  Bravo tags in soon after and Tito hits him with a cross body for 2.  Tito gets a Brisco roll for 2 on Bravo.  Race tags in and hits a piledriver on Tito for 2.  Tito hits the flying jalapeno to pin Race at 13:19.  Andre comes in and ravages Tito.  Tito tries to sunset flip Andre.  Is he retarded?  Andre squashes him for the pin at 14:44.  Duggan comes in and attacks Andre, who gets tied up in the ropes.  Jake comes in and beats up the tied up Andre.  That dick.  Andre gets lose and tags in Rude.  Rude beats up Roberts, then tags in Perfect,who also beats up Roberts.  Andre chokes Roberts behind the referee’s back.  Perfect slaps Jake.  Jake fights back.  Bravo tags in and cuts off Jake from making the tag.  Roberts hits a short range lariat and goes for the DDT, but Rude clotheslines him from the apron.  Rude tags in and beats up Jake.  My video goes wonky because of the ancient VHS source material.  Bravo hits a piledriver on Roberts.  Duggan gets the hot tag and runs wild on Bravo.  Duggan goes for the 3 point clothesline, but Martin trips him from the outside.  Bravo knocks Duggan out of the ring and slams Bravo on the floor.  Duggan hits Bravo with the 2×4 to get DQ’d at 21:24.  Roberts is screwed.  Roberts and Perfect lock up.  Roberts hits a clothesline.  Crowd chants “DDT!”  Roberts and Perfect trade punches.  Roberts hits the knee lift.  Perfect tags out to Bravo.  Bravo over powers Roberts with a knuckle lock.  Bravo avoids a DDT attempt, misses an elbow drop, and tags in Rude.  Roberts bails for a moment, then comes back in.  He tries to stay as close to his corner as he can.  He and Rude brawl.  Bravo decks Rude from the apron.  Rude hits a gutbuster.  Rude works over Roberts.  Rude hits a diving… punch, I guess, then does his gay stripper dance over Roberts.  Rude saunters over to make the tag.  Roberts grabs him and hits the DDT for the pin at 28:47.  Andre tags in and chokes the shit out of Roberts.  Andre gets DQ’d for the choking at 29:40.  Perfect pins Roberts to win it 30:03.  Perfect and Bravo survive.  Finkel, you fucking moron, it’s not the SOLE SURVIVOR if TWO GUYS SURVIVED.  No complaints about the match.  Roberts brings the snake out after the match and scares Andre.

Mean Gene interviews The Big Boss Man and Akeem’s team.

Elimination Match: The Big Boss Man, Akeem, Ted Dibiase, King Haku, & The Red Rooster (w/ Slick, Virgil, & Bobby Heenan) vs. WWF Champion Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth), Hulk Hogan, Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie), Hillbilly Jim, & Hercules.  Savage and Dibiase start.  It’s good.  Dibiase nails Savage with a clothesline.  They reverse Irish whip attempts.  Savage hits a clothesline and tags in Hercules.  Dibiase bails and tags in Rooster.  Poor Terry Taylor.  Rooster goes for what looks like a Scorpion Death Lock of all things, but doesn’t get it.  Koko tags in and eats Rooster’s boot.  Akeem tags in for a second, then tags in Haku.  Haku slams Koko, but Koko avoids a leg drop and tags in Hercules.  Hercules hammers Haku.  Hogan tags in and beats up Haku.  Jim tags in and gets a 2 count after a double big boot.  Akeem tags in and hammers Jim, then quickly tags in Rooster.  Rooster fails at slamming Jim, who slams him instead.  Tag to Koko, who powerslams Rooster for 2.  Koko hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Hogan tags in and beats up Rooster.  Tag to Savage.  Hogan slams Rooster and Savage hits the diving elbow for the pin at 6:12.  Heenan bitches at Rooster.  Haku and Hogan trade blows.  Haku gets the better of it and puts a beating on Hogan.  Hogan reverses a whip into the corner and hits a clothesline, then a slam, then tags Hercules.  Hercules dances and hits an elbow drop for 2.  Herc grabs a headlock, but Haku hits a backdrop suplex and tags Haku.  Herc avoids an elbow and tags in Hillbilly Jim.  Big guy fight.  Akeem hits a clothesline and a big splash for the pin at 9:54.  Koko dropkicks Akeem from behind, gets his licks in, and tags Hogan, who quickly tags Savage.  Savage hits a diving double axe handle, tags Herc.  Herc beats up Akeem.  Nobody can take Akeem down.  Koko tags in.  He’s not gonna pull it off.  He dropkicks Akeem into the corner.  Akeem avoids a Stinger Splash and tags in Boss Man, who hits the sidewalk slam to pin Koko at 11:46.  Hogan comes in and squares off with Boss Man.  Hogan hits an atomic drop.  All of the babyfaces punch Boss Man.  Hogan clotheslines him in the corner.  Hogan hits a big boot, then slams Boss Man.  Boss Man hits a spinebuster, then tags out to Akeem.  Twin Towers double team Hogan.  Tag to Haku, who beats up Hogan some more.  Boss Man beats up Hogan some more.  Dibiase tags in and beats up Hogan too.  Who doesn’t want to beat up Hogan a little bit?  Dibiase lands a few fist drops and covers, but Hogan throws him off at 2.  Hogan hulks up, hits an atomic drop, then tags in Hercules.  Herc beats up Dibiase.  When Herc gets rolling, Virgil provides the distraction that lets Dibase schoolboy Herc for the pin at 16:36.  Savage schoolboys Dibiase for the pin at 16:59.  Haku hammers Savage.  Savage avoids a headbutt and fights back.  Tag to Hogan.  Hogan beats up Haku.  Haku lands a superkick and tags in Boss Man.  Boss Man clobbers Hogan.  Akeem tags in and does the same.  Haku tags in and suplexes Hogan for 2.  Haku slaps a nerve hold on Hogan.  Hogan revives.  Boss Man tags in and hits the sidewalk slam, and doesn’t cover because he’s an idiot.  Boss Man goes for a splash, but of course he crashes and burns.  Hot tag to Savage, who runs wild on everybody.  Slick trips Savage from the outside.  Slick grabs Elizabeth by the arm as Savage is being bear hugged by Boss Man.  Hogan saves Liz, but the Towers jump him in the aisle.  Boss Man handcuffs Hogan to the bottom rope.  Boss Man is counted out at around 23:30.  Since he already lost, be beats the shit out Hogan with the nightstick.  Savage tries to make a comeback on Haku, but Boss Man chokes him with the nightstick.  Akeem is DQ’d at around 25:10.  The Towers leave.  Haku beats up Savage.  Slick taunts Hogan with the keys to the handcuffs.  Slick holds Savage for Haku.  Savage ducks and Slick gets superkicked off the apron.  Hogan nails Heenan.  Liz takes the keys from Slick and unlocks Hogan.  Haku hits a diving splash on Savage for 2.  Hogan gets the hot tag, punches Haku.  Big boot, body slam, and the leg drop for the pin in 29:11.  The Mega Powers survive.  Dammit Howard, THEY’RE NOT SOLE SURVIVORS IF THERE’S TWO OF THEM, YOU FUCKING FUCK.  Like the last match, no complaints, it was just really long.  Hogan and Savage pose to close the show.  I’m not sure if this is relevant to the storyline or not, but I noticed a couple of things about the Mega Powers.  1.) The rest of the team came out together to Savage’s music, but Hogan had to have his own entrance.  2.) Savage wore his Mega Powers trunks on.  Hogan didn’t.

Four very long matches, but it was a fun show.