Archive for SummerSlam

WWE SummerSlam 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2012 by Chui

New WWE open, which debuted on the 1,000th Raw.  Intro video for the 25th SummerSlam, which isn’t the 25th anniversary, but is billed as such because WWE doesn’t know how anniversaries work.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Los Angeles!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream at us.  I guess that means Ziggler vs. Jericho is up first.  They show clips of Ziggler winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match last month.  Jericho comes out and they show a clip of Ziggler injuring Jericho’s ribs this past Smackdown.  Justin Roberts is a ring announcer.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho.  Jericho is sporting taped ribs from the aforementioned attack.  Ziggler runs around the ring and Jericho gives chase.  Back inside, Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and beats him up a bit.  Ziggler does a drop down and a leap frog, but Jericho catches him with a chop.  Ziggler avoids a suplex and attacks the injured ribs.  Jericho gets a reprieve by back body dropping Ziggler to the floor.  He goes for his rebound dropkick to the apron, but fails and eats the floor as Ziggler makes it back into the ring.  Ziggler continues to punish the ribs.  Vickie is obnoxious at ringside.  Ziggler hits a Rude Awakening, complete with gyrating hips, then pulls a Jericho classic on foot cover for 2.  Jericho gets whipped into the ropes, but catches Ziggler with a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler charges Jericho in the corner, eats it, and Jericho gets a brief flurry.  Ziggler charges the corner again and eats Jericho’s boot.  Jericho follows with a diving elbow smash.  Ziggler sends Jericho into the post, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, fails, but lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Ziggler avoids Jericho in the corner, jumps on his back, and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Jericho backs Ziggler into the corner to escape.  Ziggler kicks him in the ribs and goes up top.  Jericho cuts him off, pounds on him, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner~!  Delayed cover gets 2.  Ziggler catches Jericho out of nowhere with a swank DDT for 2.  They trade shots.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault.  Ziggler catches him in the injured ribs with raised knees, then hits the Zig Zag, but Jericho kicks out!  Jericho catches Ziggler with the Codebreaker.  Ziggler rolls to the floor.  Jericho throws Ziggler back into the ring.  Vickie grabs Jericho’s leg, allowing Ziggler to get an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho sends Ziggler into the post and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Ziggler taps in 13:06.  Yes, Jericho won, but is this really “the big one?”  It made sense when Jericho did this angle with The Rock in 2001 and won the World title, but is the opening match of SummerSlam the same thing?  Good match, though.

Slim Jim commercial.

Los Angeles!

They show Brock Lesnar destroying Shawn Michaels on Raw last week.

Matt Striker interviews Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.  Well, Paul does all of the talking.

Lillian Garcia is also a ring announcer.  The Spanish announcers, Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez, are present as well.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Kane has his dukes up, which amuses me.  Bryan kicks at the larger man’s legs.  Kane catches a kick and throws him down.  Bryan avoids an elbow and kicks him some more.  Kane punches him a bit.  Bryan backflips off the top rope, then gets slammed for 2.  Kane stomps Bryan in the corner.  Fans are chanting for Bryan.  Bryan fails at a reverse cradle and eats a big boot.  Cover gets 2 for Kane.  Bryan kicks at Kane’s knee some more.  Kane nonchalantly choke throws Bryan out of the ring.  Bryan gets back in as Kane comes out and takes him out with a tope suicide.  Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan lands more kicks as the crowd chants “YES!”  Kane ducks a critical blow and lands a clothesline.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam.  Bryan counters out and rolls to the apron, pulls Kane’s head over the top rope, then comes back in to eat a punch.  Bryan slaps Kane defiantly.  Kane beats the crap out of him in the corner until the referee forces a break.  Bryan takes the opportunity and goes on the offensive.  He goes for the LeBell/Yes/No Lock, fails, and settles for kicking Kane in the chest.  He gets annoyed at the “YES!” chants and goes for the diving headbutt.  Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam.  Instead of covering, he signals for the Tombstone.  Bryan counters it into an inside cradle for the pin in 8:03!  Bryan wins!  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun little match.

Kane, pissed that lost, rampages around backstage.  Josh Matthews tries to interview him, but Kane grabs him by the throat, yells “WHERE?!  IS?!  HE?!” and throws him away, then continues his rampage.

Don’t drink and drive.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  I think Mysterio’s costume is supposed to be Batman.  They lock up.  Miz lands a shoulder block.  Mysterio sits up and kind of stares at him.  They do a bit of wrestling that ends in Rey getting a near fall and Miz taking a quick powder.  Miz comes back in and gets to stompin’.  Rey hits a flying headscissors.  Miz throws Rey out of the ring.  Rey slides back in as Miz slides out, then dropkicks Miz through the ropes.  Miz sends Rey torso-first into the barricade.  Back inside, Miz goes to work.  Rey counters a backdrop and gets a 2 count.  Miz catches Rey with that lucha-style backbreaker that Jericho does on Rey for 2.  Miz beats on Rey some more.  Rey tries to make a comeback, but eats a clothesline, which gets a 2 count for Miz.  Miz hits his corner clothesline and goes up top, but Rey dropkicks Miz, crotching h im on the top turbuckle.  Rey hits the diving seated senton and goes for a rana, but Miz catches him with a powerbomb for 2.  Rey ducks a kick and gets a cradle for 2, then kicks Miz in the head for another 2.  Combine the two, and he got a 4 count, so he almost won under Canadian rules.  Rey hits a whirly DDT for 2.  Rey goes up top again, but gets caught.  Rey fights Miz off and hits a diving headscissors, which puts Miz into 619 position.  Rey hits the 619 and goes for the diving splash, but Miz avoids it.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey turns it into a cradle for 2.  Miz launches Rey into the turnbuckles, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 9:10.  It was okay, but I never really got into it.

Plug for the WWE iPhone/Android app.  I downloaded it.  It’s not that interesting.

Teddy Long and Eve Torres walk out of the GM’s office and talk about how quirky AJ Lee is.  They walk away and WWE Champion CM Punk walks into the office.  He complains to AJ about being in a Triple Threat Match tonight.  She just cocks her head and stares off into space, ignoring him.

Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship match.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio.  They lock up.  Del Rio backs Sheamus into the corner.  Repeat.  They tumble out of the ring together and brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Sheamus hits the Finlay Roll for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but fails.  He ends up getting Del Rio up on his shoulders as Del Rio exposes the turnbuckle.  Sheamus counters the Minoru Special and misses the Brogue Kick.  Del Rio kicks Sheamus off the apron, then sends him knee first into the steps.  Back inside, Del Rio clamps on a rear chin lock.  Sheamus escapes and goes for another neckbreaker, but Del Rio kicks him in the knee, then in the head for 2.  They fight some more.  Del Rio is wearing black gear that looks reall weird on him for some reason.  He taunts Sheamus by doing the “Brogue!” taunt.  He teases a Brogue Kick, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Del Rio sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post.  Sheamus tries to go up top, but gets cut off.  Del Rio hits an arm breaker (pulling the knees into the arm) off the top for 2.  There has to be a better name for that move.  Del Rio goes for his move, but Sheamus counters.  Del Rio counters the counter and hits the Minoru Special.  Sheamus powers up and slams Del Rio down.  Sheamus hits the White Noise (Schwein) for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Del Rio avoids him.  Sheamus clubbers Del Rio in the chest.  Why hasn’t the referee fixed that exposed turnbuckle?  Oh, I see.  Del Rio drops Sheamus into the exposed buckle, then hits an enzuigiri, but Sheamus kicks out!  Del Rio roughs up Ricardo just because he’s a dick.  Sheamus hits Del Rio with Ricardo’s shoe, then hits the White Noise for the pin in 11:24, even though Del Rio’s foot was on the bottom rope.  That’s actually the finish?  Okay then.  Del Rio and Ricardo bitch at the referee, and rightfully so.  This match did not click with me at all.

Plug for the National Guard, or rather, how great WWE is for supporting the National Guard.

Cole and Lawler plug Night of Champions.

On the pre-show, Triple H told referee Scott Armstrong to not DQ or count anyone out tonight in his match with Brock Lesnar.

Last week on Raw, the Prime Time Players beat up R-Truth while Kofi Kingston was in China, then Touted about it.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (c) vs. The Prime Time Players.  Truth beats up Young to start.  O’Neil tags in and drops Truth with a boot, barks, and covers for 2.  Kofi tags in and keeps O’Neil off balance with his speed.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Young distracts him.  Heel chicanery on the outside leads to the Players getting the advantage.  Kofi plays face in peril.  Young looks like he’s trying to get Kofi in some retarded triangle choke.  It fails completely, but he continues to put a beating on Kofi.  O’Neil tags in and applies an abdominal stretch.  Kofi turns a spinning slam into a spike DDT.  Truth gets the hot tag and runs wild on Darren Young.  Truth hits a front suplex.  Cover, but O’Neil saves.  O’Neil throws Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi skins the cat, low bridges him out, and takes him out with a dive.  Truth thinks about a dive, but Young schoolboys him for 2.  Young goes for something and fails, and Truth hits the Paydirt, whatever he’s calling it this week, for the pin in 7:07.  Players are nothing without AW.  This match was pretty close to nothing, too.

Axxess clips.

Punk/Cena/Show hype video.

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show.  Big Show beats up everyone to start.  Punk seems to be channeling Bret Hart with his pink gear.  Cena and Punk unite to try to suplex Show, but Show suplexes both of them at the same time.  Show wins on them some more.  Cena gets tossed out of the ring by Show and Punk makes a comeback until he stupidly goes for the Go 2 Sleep and fails.  Cena tries to give Show the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk pushes them over.  Punk covers Cena, but Show saves.  Show beats up Punk some more and throws Cena out of the ring again.  Punk avoids Show in the corner and goes for a springboard cross body, but Show catches him and hits the Final Cut.  Show signals for the KO punch, but Cena reappears and cuts him off.  Show spears Cena for 2.  Show goes for a Vader Bomb onto both opponents, but Punk avoids it and Cena takes the full brunt.  Punk breaks Show’s cover.  Show throws Punk out of the ring, then goes after Cena on the other side.  Punk tries a dive, but Show catches him and launches him into the ropes from the outside.  Awesome.  Show and Cena go at it in the ring.  Punk pulls Show’s head over the top rope, allowing Cena to hit a backdrop suplex.  LA crowd doesn’t like Cena.  Cena signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Punk cuts him off.  Punk hits the diving elbow drop on Show.  Cover, but Show throws him across the ring at 2.  Punk kicks Show in the head and locks in the Koji Clutch, of all things.  Show breaks out.  Punk takes a powder.  Cena hits Show with a shoulder block and locks in the STF.  Show stands and backs Cena into the corner.  Cena goes for a dive, but Show catches and slams him.  Punk drops Show with a diving lariat and hits him with 3 running knees to the corner, but Show counters the bulldog.  Cena hits Show with the diving Fameasser, but ends up on the apron.  Punk locks Show in the Koji Clutch.  Cena also applies the STF.  Show taps.  The referee calls for the bell, but there are 2 winners.  Cena and Punk argue with the referee.  Raw GM AJ Lee skips out and rules that the match must continue.  Show immediately chokeslams both me.  Cover on Cena gets 2.  Cover on Punk gets 2.  Cena ducks the KO punch and hits Show with the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk throws Cena out of the ring and pins Show in 14:28.  Very enjoyable match.  Punk celebrates.

Los Angeles!

Celebrities are here!  Including former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette and WrestleMania participant Maria Menounos (sporting a Bob Backlund shirt).

Trailer for WWE Films’ latest, The Day.

On the preshow, Antonio Cesaro beat Santino Marella for the WWE United States Championship, with help from Aksana.

Kevin Ruldolf (who?) performs the SummerSlam theme song.  People Dance like idiots.  The divas come out to dance: Tamina, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Aksana, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Cameron, Naomi, Layla, Rosa Mendez, and Alicia Fox.

Los Angeles.

Triple H/Lesnar hype video.

Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H.  Brock immediately powers Triple H into the corner.  Hunter comes back with punches.  Brock repeats and goes for the Kimura.  Triple H counters.  Brock beats him in the corner some more and goes for it again.  He gets a standing version, but Hunter is in the ropes.  Triple H fights back and clotheslines Brock out of the ring.  Brock comes back in and beats up Triple H in the corner some more.  Hunter lands a knee lift and clotheslines Brock out of the ring again.  Lesnar looks irked.  Brock comes back in and takes off his gloves.  It’s a bare knuckle fight now!  Brock gets a double leg takedown and pummels Triple H with a few punches.  Hunter bails, selling a punch to the back of the head.  They brawl outside.  Brock gives Hunter a hammerlock slam onto the announce table.  The brawl some more back inside.  Brock delivers another hammerlock slam.  Brock continues working the arm.  Triple H counters an F-5 attempt, but Brock hits him with a BIG German suplex.  Brock stomps Triple H’s arm again.  Triple H tries to bail, gets caught, and pulls Brock against the top rope.  Hunter manages to score with a DDT.  Brock immediately goes after the arm again.  I always enjoy a hammerlock slam, and Brock is dishing them out liberally tonight.  They go outside and Lesnar sends Triple H into the post.  They wreck the Spanish announce table.  Brock actually jumps off of it and hits Triple H with a big chop.  Back in the ring, Triple H tries to fight back.  Lesnar gets an inside cradle of all things for 2.  Lesnar hits a clothesline and goes for a suplex, but Hunter counters and suplexes him.  Lesnar clotheslines the turnbuckle.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but fails, gets whipped into the corner, and does the Michaels flip out of the ring.  Brock takes a shot into the announce table on his stomach and starts dry heaving.  The announcers talk about his issues with diverticulitis.  Hunter goes after the midsection.  He hits some knee lifts to the stomach.  Triple H hits the spinebuster and goes for the Pedigree.  Lesnar counters and goes for the F-5.  Triple H counters and hits the Pedigree, but Lesnar kicks out.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Lesnar hits him square in the balls.  The referee, per Hunter’s request, is letting it go.  Lesnar hits the F-5, but Triple H kicks out.  Lesnar locks on the standing Kimura again.  Triple H tries to fight out, but Lesnar goes to the ground with it.  Triple H gets the ropes, but the ref isn’t enforcing the rules.  Hunter fights out of the hold.  Hunter hits the Pedigree and goes for the cover, but Lesnar gets the Kimura again.  Triple H taps in 18:45.  I’m absolutely shocked that they did the right thing and put Lesnar over.  The match was an intense brawl, but not on the level of Lesnar/Cena.  I’ll give it a thumbs slightly up.  Lesnar leaves.  Hunter refuses medical attention.  Fans chant “YOU TAPPED OUT!”, which is probably not what WWE was going for with this.  Hunter mouths “I’m sorry” and leaves to a mixture of boos and polite applause.

This show started well, dipped really low in the middle, peaked with the triple threat match, and ended okay.  I’d say the show as a whole is thumbs in the middle.

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WWE Money In The Bank 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2011 by Chui

It’s been a bit.  Let’s see if I remember how to do one of these.

WWE open, AWESOME PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Chicago.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcer.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Sin Cara vs. Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Everybody brawls.  The big guys (Kane, Barrett, and Sheamus) clear the ring and brawl amongst themselves.  Kane clotheslines the others out of the ring, then tries to bring in a ladder.  Bryan dropkcks it into him.  Slater and Gabriel do the same to Bryan.  Cara tries to do the same to them, but they duck and nail him with the ladder.  Slater gets the ladder in the ring and sets it up.  Gabriel knocks him off and walks the ladder toward the center.  Bryan dropkicks him off.  Rhodes throws Bryan into the ladder.  He tries to climb, but Sheamus cuts him off and goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Rhodes counters, goes for the Beautiful Disaster, and hits Slater with it.  Sheamus uses the ladder to beat up Rhodes.  Kane throws Sheamus and Rhodes out of the ring.  Barrett jumps Kane.  Kane rallies and disposes of Barrett, then beats up Slater.  Kane goes up top, but Cara knocks him down with a kick.  Gabriel drops Cara.  Bryan ducks Gabriel and hits a tope suicida on somebody.  Gabriel, Slater, and Cara all hit dives too.  Cara, Gabriel, and Slater do stuff in the ring.  Cara gets rid of both of them.  Bryan appears on the top rope.  Cara hits him with a kick, then hits a one-man Spanish Fly off the top rope.  Cara goes out for a ladder, but Barrett boots him down.  Barrett builds a ladder bridge from the apron to the Spanish table.  Uh oh.  Barrett misses Sin Cara and accidentally clotheslines the post.  Cara goes back in the ring and eats a brogue kick from Sheamus.  Sheamus powerbombs Cara off the apron through the ladder bridge.  Fucking ouch.  Sheamus beats up more people with a ladder.  Cara is stretchered out.  Kane and Sheamus brawl in the ring.  Bryan, Kane, and Rhodes all bring in ladders, then drop them and start brawling.  Kane takes them both out and climbs the ladder.  The former members of The Corre cut him off.  Rhodes takes advantage of the distraction to climb the ladder.  The ex-Corre cut him off too.  Bryan climbs and gets the same treatment.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  His former teammates cut him off and beat him up, then throw him out of the ring.  Gabriel and Slater climb the ladder and fight over the briefcase.  Rhodes knocks the ladder over and gives Slater the Cross Rhodes.  Rhodes climbs the ladder.  Barrett cuts him off.  Rhodes gives him the Cross Rhodes too.  Rhodes climbs the ladder again.  Sheamus cuts him off and hits the uranage backbreaker.  Bryan cuts off Sheamus and rams his head into the ladder.  Sheamus and Kane hit Bryan with a Doomsday Device!  Sheamus and Kane brawl.  Kane eventually takes him out, then chokeslams Rhodes, then chokeslams Gabriel.  Kane climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off.  Kane tries to chokeslam him, but Bryan turns it into some kind of arm lock.  Bryan dives at Kane, gets caught, but somehow turns it to his advantage.  Slater climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off too.  Slater hits a neckbreaker off the ladder.  Slater climbs again, but Barrett cuts him off.  Barrett crotches Slater on the top turnbuckle, then beats up Sheamus.  Barrett brings a third ladder into the ring.  Barrett and Sheamus hit Slater with it, then launch him to the floor.  Sheamus hits Barrett and Rhodes with brogue kicks, then hits Gabriel with a Polish Hammer.  Sheamus drops Gabriel face first across the ladder, then gives him a brogue kick.  Sheamus climbs the ladder.  Kane comes up the other side and brawls with him.  Kane chokeslams Sheamus off the ladder into another ladder.  Ouch.  Barrett, Rhodes, and Bryan attack Kane.  Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Barrett hits the Wasteland.  Gabriel hits Kane with the 450 splash in an impressively small space.  Barrett gives Gabriel the Wasteland out of the ring onto Slater.  Barrett drops Bryan and gives Rhodes a pumphandle slam.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  Rhodes pulls him down and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Bryan climbs the ladder.  Rhodes tries to stop him, but gets elbowed in the face.  They fight up the ladder.  Barrett climbs up the other side and tries to take the briefcase.  Bryan guillotines Rhodes, then elbows Barrett in the face.  Barrett sets up Bryan for the Wasteland.  Bryan counters with the elbow flurry, then drops Barrett with a kick.  Bryan gets the briefcase in 24:26.  BRYAN WINS~!  HOLY SHIT!  Great match.  Bryan gets the honor of being the first guy to cash in and fail.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon, Johnny Ace, and some lawyer arrived.

Chicago!

WWE Divas Championship Match: Kelly Kelly (c) (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella).  Kelly slaps Brie and goes on the attack.  Kelly tries a headscissors, fucks it up horrible, and sort of recovers.  Brie goes to confer with her twin.  Kelly hits them both with a dive.  Back inside, Kelly sort of goes for a tarantula and gets sent face first into the floor.  Nikki puts the boots to Kelly behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, Brie goes beats up Kelly for a while.  Kelly makes her comeback and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Brie blocks the Rocker Dropper.  Kelly blocks a backslide.  Cover gets 2.  Brie DDTs Kelly’s foot.  Cover gets 2.  I’m fucking serious.  Kelly hits the Rocker Dropper for the pin in 4:48.  It wasn’t the worst match I’ve ever seen.

SummerSlam commercial.

Big Show/Mark Henry hype video.

Mark Henry vs. The Big Show.  The two big bruisers tear into each other.  Show hits Henry with a shoulder block and Henry rolls to the floor.  They brawl at ringside.  Henry dropkicks the steps into Show’s knee.  Back inside, Henry goes to work on the knee.  Show fight out of a half crab.  Henry squashes Show in the corner.  He tries it again, but is met with a boot.  Show dives off the bottom rope and hits Henry with a shoulder block.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Henry takes out his knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for 2.  Henry hits another World’s Strongest Slam and 2 big splashes for the pin in 5:58.  It was okay.  After the match, Henry gets a chair and Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show is driven out on a letter stretcher cart thingy.

Vince McMahon complains to Johnny Ace backstage.  Josh Matthews comes in and asks him of he’s resigned CM Punk.  Vince says no, then bitches about Punk being an ingrate.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Everybody grabs a ladder during their entrance and brings it into the ring, so we start with a ladder fight.  Del Rio is buried under ladder at ringside.  They even have mini ladders.  Bourne and Kofi brawl atop a mini ladder, then used it to hit people.  Rey takes Swagger out of the ring with a rana.  Riley drops Truth’s balls in a ladder, then hits him with a knee.  Riley climbs up the midget ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  This is stupid.  Riley takes out Miz and Swagger with a dive.  Truth break dances and hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop onto the pile.  Mysterio and Kofi hit stereo dives off the top rope.  Bourne hits a Shooting Star press off of a ladder onto everyone.  Bourne goes back into the ring and climbs a proper ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  They fight on top.  Del Rio pushes the ladder over.  Miz starts selling his knee.  Medics come out to check on him.  Del Rio climbs the ladder.  Truth stops him.  Miz is helped to the back.  Truth climbs the ladder.  Del Rio climbs the other side.  Bourne and Mysterio climb over them, but are pulled down.  They both hit Frankensteiners.  Swagger drops Bourne and Truth.  Kofi springboards over Swagger and climbs the ladder.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Riley climbs the ladder.  Swagger notices and brawls with him top of the ladder.  Truth pushes it over.  A ladder bridge gets set up in the corner.  Kofi, Truth, and Rey do some stuff with it.  Kofi comes off of it with a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Del Rio charges Kofi, but ends up diving under the ladder to the floor.  More ladder spots.  Swagger gets hit in the face with one.  Mysterio gives Truth a 619.  Riley and Mysterio fight on top of the ladder.  There are a bunch of ladders in the ring now.  Everybody climbs up and tries to get the briefcase.  Del Rio takes a face bump into the ladder bridge.  Guys continue brawling up top.  Bourne takes a bump off a ladder to the floor.  Kofi ends up on top alone.  Swagger makes it back in to cut him off.  They both fall to the floor.  Miz hobbles back down to a big pop and goes for the briefcase.  Mysterio cuts him off and gets booed.  Mysterio powerbombs Miz to the crown.  Del Rio cuts off Mysterio from getting the briefcase.  Mysterio says “fuck that” and knocks him down.  Del Rio climbs the opposite side of the ladder.  Mysterio hits him with the briefcase.  Del Rio takes Mysterio’s mask off.  A bunch of ladders fall over.  Del Rio climbs back up and takes it in 15:52.  Fun match, but nowhere near the Smackdown ladder match.

WrestleMania travel package advertisement.

Chicago!

Randy Orton/Christian hype video.

Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is mad that he had to be in Money In The Bank after winning a #1 Contender Match a couple of weeks ago.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian.  Orton can lose the title by DQ.  Christian brings a chair into the ring in an attempt to get Orton to get himself DQ’d.  Orton teases it, then throws the chair out of the ring.  Christian shaves Orton.  Orton decks him and kicks his ass.  Christian fights back, but eats a clothesline.  This is a heel crowd tonight.  They’re booing Orton.  Orton slides back into the ring to avoid a dive, then throws Christian into the steps.  Back inside, Christian rallies and hits the diving elbow smash for 2.  Christian beats on Orton for a time.  Orton awesomely avoids Christian in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Christian hits a spinebuster for 2.  Orton counters the Killswitch and clotheslines Christian, sending them both to the floor.  Back inside, Orton gets a jackknife hold for 2, then hits a Lou Thesz press.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Christian counters.  Christian dives at Orton, but gets caught with a dropkick.  Cover gets 2.  Orton goes for a superplex, but Christian knocks him down and hits a diving headbutt for 2.  Orton makes a comeback, but Christian cuts him off and hits the Killswitch for 2.  Christian goes for a spear, but Orton leapfrogs him and hits a swank gutwrench into a neckbreaker.  Orton goes for the punt, misses, and hits a powerslam.  He hits the DDT OF MURDER on the second try, then humps the mat.  Christian spits in Orton’s face.  Orton gets pissed off and beats on him.  Orton kicks Christian straight in the balls to cause the DQ and lose the title in 12:19.  Christian is crowned champion.  Orton kicks his ass at ringside.  Teddy Long comes down to try to settle Orton down.  Orton gives Christian the RKO on the Spanish announce table.  Orton starts to leave, then comes back down to a big pop and gives Christian another RKO on the table.

Skittles commercial.

SummerSlam commercial again.

John Cena/CM Punk hype video.

CM Punk comes out to an insanely loud hero’s welcome in his home town.  Cena comes out to the loudest fucking boos I’ve ever heard.  He’s all business tonight and even has the belt around his waist.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk.  They lock up and trade holds.  Cena ducks a high kick.  Man, this crowd is hot.  Cena gets a takedown.  They trade holds some more.  Punk hits a big hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover.  They counters each others’ finish.  Punk lands some kicks.  Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2, then grabs a headlock and works it.  Punk escapes and gets a 2 count.  There’s a high pitched “LET’S GO CENA” chant alternating with a much deeper “CENA SUCKS!” chant.  Cena hits a Fisherman suplex for 2.  Lawler just said he didn’t think there was a single Cena fan in the arena, so he didn’t just hear those loud ass chants.  Punk hits a DDT for 2, then applies a headscissors.  Punk escapes an Attitude Adjustment predicament and throws Cena to the floor.  Punk sets Cena in the apron and hits a diving enzui knee drop!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena goes for the STF and fails.  Punk clamps on a rear chin lock.  Punk hits a diving cross body to Cena’s knee for 2.  Cena sells the knee.  Punk tries to suplex Cena in from the apron, but Cena suplexes Punk to the floor!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena hits an elbow drop for 2.  Cena hits a nifty suplex/powerslam for 2.  Punk lands some punches to big cheers.  Cena locks in an abdominal stretch to boos.  Punk escapes with a hip toss.  Double knockdown spot.  Cena starts his comeback, but Punk catches him with a schoolboy for 2.  Cena concludes his comeback and goes for the “You can’t see me” gesture, but Punk kicks him in the head, knocks him to the floor, and hits a tope suicida!  Back inside, Punk goes for the springboard lariat, but Cena avoids it.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk sort of lands on his feet and lands a flurry of kicks for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Punk counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits 2 knee strikes and a bulldog headlock.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk lands more kicks.  Cena locks in the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick for 2.  Punk hits a diving cross body.  Cena rolls through, lifts him, and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF again.  Punk escapes and locks in the Anaconda Vice!  Cena fights out and hits the Attitude Adjustment for 2.  Cena comes off the top rope, but Punk sort of counters into a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Punk signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Cena drops to the apron and pulls Punk’s head across the top rope.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment again, and PUNK KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Cena tries to set up a SUPER ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Punk clubbers Cena’s head with elbows!  Punk hits a top rope Frankensteiner.  Cena rolls to the ropes.  Punk hits the running knee and the Go 2 Sleep, but only catches Cena in the middle.  Cena falls out of the ring.  Punk throws Cena back in the ring.  Vince McMahon and Johnny Ace come out.  Cena locks Punk in the STF.  Vince tries to call for the bell.  He sends Ace to do his bidding, but Cena decks him.  Cena yells at Vince that he can win this himself.  He goes after Punk, but Punk catches him and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin to win the title at 33:44.  Great pro wrestling match right here, kids.  Punk celebrates with the belt.  Vince looks almost as morose as Dana White did after Brock Lesnar lost the UFC Heavyweight title.  Vince takes King’s headset and yells at someone to send Alberto Del Rio out here.  Del Rio runs out.  Punk kills him with a high kick.  Punk blows Vince a kiss and leaves through the crowd with his belt.  What will happen next as the WWE Universe Turns?

Really good show with a couple of great matches.

WWE SummerSlam 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, awesome PPV opening video, 7 Eleven and Slim Jim present SummerSlam!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Los Angeles!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

The PPV gets off to a very obnoxious start, as Vickie Guerrero says “EXCUSE ME!” approximately 23,000 times in a row.  I’d rather be punched in the face than have to listen to her awful voice.  Thank God Kofi Kingston’s music interrupts.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kofi Kingston.  Kofi is still pretty pissed off over the whole being fucked out of the title thing.  He clotheslines Ziggler to the floor and goes for a tope suicida, but Vickie pulls Ziggler out of the way so Kofi kills himself.  Kofi makes it back into the ring and Ziggler pounds on him.  Ziggler applies an aggressive rear chin lock.  Kofi fights out.  Ziggler chokes him against the bottom rope.  Shouldn’t he be fired for that?  Kofi fights back, but Ziggler sends his face into the middle turnbuckle for 2.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  Ziggler continues beating and stretching Kofi.  Kofi avoids a corner splash and fights back.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop.  Kofi hits a rebound cross body, but Ziggler rolls through for 2.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Kofi hits a diving chop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Ziggler ducks it and clamps on the sleeper hold.  The Nexus run in and attack both of them!  It’s a no-contest in about 7 minutes.  Skip Sheffield clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring, then all 7 of them beat the fuck out of Kofi.  Darren Young and Wade Barrett hit their shitty finishers on Kofi.  Barrett says that’s just a taste of what’s in store for Team WWE tonight.  He says no matter who the 7th man is, they won’t be able to form a cohesive unit, while The Nexus is unified.  “You’re either Nexus, or you’re against us.”  The match was okay.  They could have had a really good match if they were given some time.

Backstage, Chris Jericho and Edge try to convince The Miz to be the 7th man on Team WWE.  Miz says he isn’t sure.  It’s about time to get off of your ass and make a decision, buddy!  Despite Miz’s noncommittal reply, Edge and Jericho think they have him.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Alicia Fox (c) vs. Melina.  Melina is dressed like an Indian or some shit.  Despite what idiot Cole says, Melina isn’t an all time great at anything unless it’s running the train on the locker room.  They lock up.  Fox takes Melina down with a side headlock.  Melina hits a sliding leg trip thing, then surfboards the legs and pulls Fox’s hair.  Melina beats up Fox.  Melina hits a double knee drop when Fox propped up on the middle rope.  Fox does a Thesz press, then Melina gets 2.  Not sure what happened there.  Melina jumps over a charging Fox and sells that she hurt her knee.  Fox attacks her and sends her shoulder into the post.  Fox works Melina’s arm.  Melina gets a schoolgirl for 2.  Melina screams and beats up Fox.  Melina hits that hairmare Stroke she’s been doing for the pin in 5:23.  This sucked.  Melina is awful.  Thank God it was short.  Josh Matthews gets in the ring to interview Melina.  Because this show apparently hasn’t had enough obnoxious bitches on it yet, WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool come out and be fucking obnoxious.  Melina tires of this shit and attacks them.  LayCool beat Melina down.  Alicia Fox comes back in and they kick her ass too.  McCool knees Melina in the face against the announce table.  Fucking pointless crap.

Night of Champions hype!

Los Angeles!

Trace Adkins and Marlon Wayans are in the house tonight!

They show Big Show taking CM Punk’s mask off and the Straight Edge Society’s retaliatory breaking of Big Show’s hand.

Handicap Match: The Straight Edge Society (w/ Serena) vs. The Big Show.  For some reason, the trainer waits until match time to cut the cast off of Show’s hand.  Mercury and Gallows attack Show and completely fail.  Show uses the bad hand to hit Gallows with the big chop.  Show throws Gallows out of the ring and hits a choke bomb on Mercury.  Mercury tries to pull Show out of the ring like an idiot.  Show pulls Mercury back in and press slams him out of the ring onto Gallows.  Serena distracts Show so Punk can try to jump him, but Show kicks Punk’s ass.  Outside, Punk tries to stomp Show’s hand into the steps again, but fails.  Show tries to chop Punk on the steps, but Punk moves and the step gets all of it.  The Straight Edge Society triple team Show on the outside, then in the ring.  They take turns splashing Show in the corner until Show explodes and kicks their asses.  He squashes Gallows and Mercury int he corner, then hits them with a double shoulder block.  Punk comes off the top, but Show catches him by the throat.  Punk kicks his way free and avoids S Show in the corner, then hits the running knees to the corner.  Punk and Mercury hit Show with a double diving bulldog.  Mercury covers, but Show throws him off.  Punk attacks Show’s hand.  Show rallies, sends Punk outside, and hits Gallows and Mercury with a double clothesline.  Punk and Serena leave.  Show hits Gallows with the KO punch, then chokeslams Mercury on top of him and pins them both in 6:48.  It was fine for what it was.

Edge Slim Jim commercial.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane cuts  his usual creepy backstage promo with the casket.  WWE Champion Sheamus comes in.  He says the casket is too big for Rey Mysterio, but asks to borrow it to put Randy Orton in.  Kane says no.  Sheamus says he’s the real Big Red Monster.  Kane says Sheamus has guts, which he’ll spill on the floor if Sheamus ever interrupts him again.

WWE United States Champion The Miz comes out to cut a promo.  He says Team WWE have been begging him to join and saying or doing various things to suck up to him.  He talks about how big of a decision this is, then finally says yes, he will join Team WWE.  He yells at the crowd that they’re not allowed to say his catchphrase.  Great promo by Miz.  Cole mizzes in his pants.

Sheamus/Orton hype video.

WWE Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Randy Orton.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Orton into the corner, then poses and yells.  Repeat.  Orton hammers Sheamus with punches, then stomps and kicks the crap out of him.  Cover gets 2.  They go outside and Orton rams Sheamus’ head into the table, then clotheslines him into the crowd and beats him up in the front row.  Orton realizes he’s being counted out and brings Sheamus back into the ring.  Orton delivers the Garvin Stomp.  Orton hits the bottom rope decapitator.  Sheamus rolls to the floor.  Orton follows and whips Sheamus into the barricade.  Sheamus reverses Orton into the steps.  Sheamus puts the boots to Orton back in the ring, then pounds his face in.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus hits a short lariat and a knee drop for 2.  Orton reverses a suplex attempt and hits one of his own.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Sheamus backdrops him to the floor.  Sheamus rams Orton into the barricade twice.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus hits the Polish Hammer for 2.  Sheamus works Orton’s shoulder.  Sheamus hits the reverse DDT backbreaker for 2.  Orton tries to fight back, but Sheamus drops him with another Polish Hammer.  Sheamus goes back to working Orton’s shoulder.  Orton hits a backdrop suplex.  Orton hits the 3.0 backbreaker for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton lands a European uppercut and a lariat, then hits the snap powerslam.  Orton avoids Sheamus in the corner, causing him to spear the post.  Orton hits a superplex for 2.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker for 2.  Orton avoids the pump kick and Sheamus crotches himself on the top rope, then falls to the floor.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER, then humps the mat.  He goes for the RKO, but Sheamus kind of counters somehow for 2.  He pushed Orton away, but took the bump anyway.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton counters and goes for the RKO again.  Sheamus counters and lands the pump kick for 2.  Sheamus brings a chair into the ring.  The referee tries to take it from him.  Sheamus yanks it away and the referee falls out of the ring, then DQs Sheamus in 18:56.  Pretty decent match.  Orton ducks the post-match chair shot and kicks Sheamus square in the balls.  Orton clears off the announce table and gives Sheamus the RKO on top of the table, which doesn’t break.  Orton leaves, then the refs and trainers wake up Sheamus.  Why the fuck isn’t Miz coming out right now?  I may be wrong, but I think I hear a “We Want Miz” chant.

“Legendary” trailer.

The SummerSlam song is “Rip It Up” by Jet.

Kane/Mysterio hype video.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Kane (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Kane pushes a casket to the ring and opens it to reveal that it’s empty.  Mysterio tries to be abusive and elusive.  Kane tries to pound a midget.  Mysterio lands a basement dropkick for 2.  Kane avoids the 619, boots Mysterio in the gut, and throws him out of the ring.  Mysterio slides back in to avoid Kane, then hits him with a baseball slide dropkick and a Bombs Away off of the apron.  Mysterio avoids being chokeslammed off the top by dropping down and pulling Kane’s arm across the top rope.  Mysterio goes up top again, but Kane trips him.  Kane sends Mysterio’s back into the post repeatedly.  Kane front suplexes Mysterio onto the top rope, then knocks him off of the apron with a big boot.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Kane bear hugs Mysterio.  Mysterio escapes that and hits a headscissors.  He goes for the 619, but Kane nails him with a clothesline for 2.  Kane throws Mysterio outside again.  Mysterio comes back to the apron and tries to springboard, but gets booted to the floor again.  Back inside, Mysterio hits a diving battering ram-style headbutt.  Striker mentions Mysterio’s “lucha libreness.”  Kane drops Mysterio for 2.  Kane does a backbreaker hold.  Mysterio fights free.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Mysterio tries a Frankensteiner off the top rope, but Kane holds on to avoid it.  Mysterio avoids Kane’s diving lariat and hits a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT for 2.  Mysterio hits the diving Bombs Away.  Kane goes for a powerslam, but Mysterio turns it into a tilt-a-whirl DDT for 2.  Mysterio pounds on Kane and lands a head kick for 2.  Mysterio comes off the top, but Kane catches him with a right hand for 2.  Kane opens the still empty casket and goes for a chokeslam.  Mysterio counters and goes for the 619.  Kane counters and puts Mysterio in the casket.  Mysterio escapes and hits a springboard dropkick.  Mysterio goes for the 619 again.  Kane counters and goes for the chokeslam again.  Mysterio counters yet again and hits the 619.  He goes for the diving splash, but Kane gets his knees up, so Rey improvises a prawn hold for 2.  Kane drops Mysterio, then hits the chokeslam for the pin in 13:32.  Decent match with a really good finishing stretch.  Kane says Mysterio is going to pay by being in the casket forever or something.  He opens the casket and it’s still empty.  Mysterio fights back.  Kane closes the casket, then chokeslams Mysterio twice more and gives him the Tombstone Piledriver.  Kane opens the casket again.  The Undertaker is now magically in the casket!  Kane looks scared, then feigns joy and tells Taker to get Mysterio.  Mysterio is down in the corner.  Undertaker kneels down and coughs sickly into his face.  Undertaker asks Rey why he did it.  Rey professes his innocence.  Taker says “I believe you,” then grabs Rey by the throat.  Taker does the throat slash, then looks at Kane.  Taker goozles Kane while Mysterio gets the fuck out of there.  Kane goozles Undertaker, then Tombstones him!  Kane is now stronger than the Undertaker!

Smackdown to SyFy this fall!

Los Angeles!

SummerSlam Axxess footage.

The Nexus are headed our way!

Nexus/Team WWE hype video.

It’s main event time!  The Nexus make their entrance together, then Team WWE get their individual entrances: Cena, Edge, R-Truth, Jericho, Morrison, Bret, and The Miz.  Why the hell does Miz get top billing?  Wait!  Cena tells Miz that he waited too long to join the team.  They needed someone they could rely on, so they found a guy who hates Nexus as much as anyone… DANIEL BRYAN!

Elimination Match: The Nexus vs. John Cena, Edge, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, John Morrison, Bret Hart, & Daniel Bryan.  Team WWE hit the ring for a big brawl.  They clear The Nexus out of the ring before the bell even rings.  Cole immediately goes into Danielson hate mode.  The Nexus discuss matters, then Young and Danielson start.  Danielson kicks the shit out of Young.  Danielson locks in a guillotine, then turns it into a crossface!  Young submits at the 44 second mark!  Gabriel comes in and gets kicked in the guy by Danielson.  Jericho tags in and beats up Gabriel.  R-Truth tags in and does his stuff with Gabriel.  Truth hits a suplex stunner for 2.  Gabriel fights back and drops Truth with a kick, then tags in Tarver.  Tarver hits Truth with shitty punches.  Morrison tags in and shines on Tarver.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and the Starship Pain for the pin in 3:36.  The Nexus is down 2!  They bail to regroup.  Sheffield awesome yells “I CAN FIX THIS!  I CAN FIX THIS!”  Sheffield comes in against Morrison and overpowers him.  Sheffield yells at Morrison, so Morrison slaps him.  Sheffield hits a powerslam and proceeds to destroy Morrison while Truth tries to get the crowd behind him.  Crowd chants “WE WANT BRET!”  Why?  Bret can’t do shit.  Sheffield hits a suplex for 2.  Morrison fights back.  Gabriel kicks him from the apron.  Sheffield hits the killer lariat for the pin in 7:33.  Truth comes in and takes it to Sheffield.  Sheffield kills him with the lariat for the pin in 8:00.  5 on 5 now.  Sheffield DID fix it!  Jericho comes in and takes it to Sheffield.  Sheffield press slams him and tags in Barrett.  Barrett and Otunga take turns beating up Jericho.  Jericho manages to drop Barrett with a dropkick.  Bret and Slater tag in.  Bret beats the shit out of Slater.  Bret hits a slam and an elbow drop, and inverted atomic drop and a clothesline.  Bret locks in the Sharpshooter.  Somebody throws in a chair.  Bret nails Sheffield with the chair and gets DQ’d in 12:07.  Slater made Bret look awesome there for a minute.  Jericho hits Sheffield with the Codebreaker.  Edge tags in a spears Sheffield for the pin in 13:15.  It took a lot to put Sheffield down.  He’s a beast.  Gabriel comes in and gets his ass kicked by Edge.  Edge hits a flapjack for 2.  Gabriel lands a roundhouse kick for 2.  Slater tags in and puts the boots to Edge.  Slater sends Edge outside for no reason, then brings him back in and tags in Barrett.  Barrett beats up Edge and hits a backbreaker for 2.  Barrett grabs a rear chin lock.  Edge drops Barrett with a spin kick.  Barrett hits a swinging neckbreaker.  Otunga tags in and goes for his spinebuster, but Edge counters into the Edgecution.  Jericho tags in and runs wild on Otunga.  Jericho hits the bulldog and the Lionsault, then locks in the Walls of Jericho for the submission in 19:17.  Jericho knocks Slater off the apron to the floor, then throws him across the announce table and back into the ring.  Jericho hits a diving elbow smash, then accidentally collides with Cena on the apron.  Slater hits his Zig Zag like move for the pin 20:07.  Edge argues with Cena, then slaps him.  Cena decides to turn the other cheek.  Slater schoolboys Edge for the pin in 20:40.  Edge knocks Cena off of the apron, then Jericho kicks Cena in the gut.  Jericho yells “STUPID STUPID!” and slaps Cena.  Cena and Danielson are left against Barrett, Slater, and Gabriel.  Cole bitches about Daniel Bryan and verbally blows Miz while The Nexus beat the shit out of Cena.  Cena tries to fight back, but Barrett kills him with a clothesline for 2.  Gabriel tags in and works Cena’s arm.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Gabriel plants him with a DDT for 2.  Cole is insufferable.  You know it’s bad when Lawler and Striker are on the same page.  Alternate “LET’S GO CENA!” and “CENA SUCKS!” chants as Cena fights back against Barrett.  Barrett plants him with a sidewalk slam.  Cena manages to suplex Barrett.  Slater tags in and cuts Cena off from making the tag.  Slater beats up Cena.  Double clothesline spot.  CENA MAKES THE HOT TAG TO DANIEL BRYAN!  Bryan runs wild and German suplex Slater, then hits a running dropkick.  Danielson kicks the crap out of Slater, then lands a lariat.  Slater bails and Danielson hits him with a tope suicida.  Back inside, Danielson hits a missile dropkcik, then dropkicks Gabriel and Barrett off of the apron.  Slater gets a schoolboy for 1.  Danielson locks in a crossface for the submission in 29:04!  The Miz runs out and hits Danielson with the Money In The Bank briefcase!  Barrett pins Danielson in 29:35.  Fucking Miz!  Barrett and Gabriel administer a shit kicking to John Cena.  Cena makes his comeback on Gabriel.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Barrett blind tags himself in and prevents it.  They kick Cena’s ass some more.  Barrett boots Cena out of the ring.  He and Gabriel pull up the floor mats.  Barrett DDTs Cena on the concrete floor!  Barrett sets Cena’s lifeless body up for Gabriel to hit the 450 splash.  Cena avoids it and pins Gabriel in 34:53!  Barrett goes after Cena, but Cena immediately locks him in the STF for the win in 35:21!  Awesome match, even though I don’t understand the logic of Team WWE winning.  If Gabriel had hit the 450 and pinned Cena, that would have been great.  If Barrett had immediately pounced and pinned Cena, that would have been perfect.  Superman Cena winning against all odds makes no sense if they’re serious about pushing The Nexus.  Cena stands tall to close the show.

Good show overall.  There was nothing offensive besides the usual divas garbage.

WWE Monday Night Raw 8/9/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers LIVE from Sacramento, California.  Tonight, John Cena & Bret Hart take on Edge & Chris Jericho with The Nexus as Lumberjacks!  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Bret Hart comes out to cut a promo.  He says he’s been training for SummerSlam, but he’s disappointed to see his team falling apart.  He asks Chris Jericho and Edge to come out.  Jericho comes out expecting Bret to kiss his ass.  Bret says he put his reputation on the line when he vouched for Edge and Jericho to Cena.  He wants them to get their heads out of their asses and rejoin the SummerSlam team.  Jericho refuses, because he’s a prick.  Jericho says Bret just doesn’t want to get beat up by Edge and Jericho tonight.  He runs down Bret some more, then Edge comes out.  Edge talks to Jericho about how they both idolized Bret as a kid, then tells Bret they can count on him.  Edge tries to cheap shot Bret, but Bret trips him and goes for the Sharpshooter.  Jericho pokes Bret in the eye and Edge and Jericho make their escape.  Natalya comes out and pleads with Bret.  They show the Nexus beating the shit out of The Hart Dynasty backstage.  Bret and Natalya run to the back.  This was a good segment except for the part where Bret STILL CAN’T DO ANYTHING PHYSICAL, SO WHY THE FUCK IS HE OUT THERE?  Commercials.

Bret, Natalya, and the trainers check on the Hart Dynasty.  Bret is ready to go fuck somebody up, but John Cena shows up to calm him down.  Cena says he’s going to talk to Great Khali.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Evan Bourne.  They lock up.  Bourne has a black eye.  Miz beats up Bourne.  Miz chokes Bourne against the middle rope for 2.  Isn’t that grounds for being fired?  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  Bourne fights out.  Miz hits the corner clothesline for 2.  Miz goes back to the rear chin lock.  Miz goes for a suplex, but Bourne knees his way out.  Bourne lands some kicks.  Bourne hits a sweet rebound Frankensteiner for 2.  Miz hits a lariat that Bourne does a 360 flip for.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 3:59.  Good little match.  It’s a shame that they completely kiboshed Bourne’s push, though.  Miz says when he gets ready to cash in his Money In The Bank contract, he’ll be WWE Champion.

John Cena talks to Great Khali.

Tonight, Cena & Bret vs. Edge & Jericho with the Nexus as Lumberjacks!  Commercials!

Slam of the Week: Melina returning to take out Alicia Fox last week after the six-woman tag.

Non-Title: Melina vs. WWE Divas Champion Alicia Fox.  Melina tries to lock up, but Fox powers her into the corner and beats on her.  Melina fights back and beats on Fox.  Melina hits her modified Stroke thing, then sends Fox outside.  Fox clotheslines Melina on the outside.  Back inside, Fox covers for 2.  Fox hits a half assed tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  Fox applies a rear chin lock and knees Melina in the back.  Melina fights back.  Fox locks in a Canadian backbreaker.  Melina screams and hits the Code Red for the pin in 3:38.  They tried, but it wasn’t pretty.

Josh Matthews interviews Great Khali.  He says he’s with WWE, then babbles in Khalese.  He wants somebody named Red Berry in a match tonight.  Matthews interprets it as “Wade Barrett.”  Commercials.

During the break, Michael Cole got an email from the iBooker 9000 announcing Melina vs. Alicia Fox for the Divas Championship at SummerSlam.  Ugh.  Also, Barrett will face Khali tonight.

Tonight, Divas wrestle in swimsuits!  Less interestingly, Sheamus calls out Randy Orton.

Edge and Jericho talk backstage.  Jericho thinks they’ve made a mistake.  Edge says they’ve survived everything else that has happened over the last 10 years.  Jericho says they should take out Cena and Bret tonight, because for some reason, The Nexus not having a match at SummerSlam protects them.

John Morrison and R-Truth talk.  Mark Henry says he’ll be a replacement on the SummerSlam team.

The Nexus watch TV!  Commercials!

Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) and Mark Henry come out for their match, but the Nexus show up and jump Mark Henry.  They send him into the steps, then run out through the crowd.  Henry is KTFO’d.

WWE Champion Sheamus is headed our way!  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Randy Orton vs. The Miz from last week.

WWE Champion Sheamus comes out.  He gives the usual pussy cop out answer that he was scared of what he’d do to Orton.  They show a video package of Sheamus destroying people.  He babbles some more and calls out Randy Orton.  Orton comes out and calls him out on his pussy cop out line.  They banter back and forth.  Orton challenges Sheamus to fight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000 saying that if anyone interferes in the title match at SummerSlam, they will be suspended indefinitely.  Also, it’s Orton’s last title shot at Sheamus.  The iBooker also challenges Sheamus to stop being a pussy and fight Orton.  Sheamus teases taking a shot, but tries to leave.  Orton attacks Sheamus and goes for the pump kick, but Orton hits the 3.0.  Orton goes for the PUNT OF DOOM, but stops short and lets Sheamus live.  Orton holds up the belt, throws it back to Sheamus, and leaves.

Tonight, Cena & Bret vs. Edge & Jericho with the Nexus as Lumberjacks!  Commercials!

SummerSlam song plug.

Kaval, Percy Watson, & Lucky Cannon vs. Michael McGillicutty, Alex Riley, & Husky Harris.  Sheamus is still sitting at ringside for some reason.  Watson and McGillicutty start.  Watson drops him with an elbow for 2.  McGillicutty lands a dropkick and tags in Riley.  Riley puts the boots to Watson in the corner.  Riley locks Watson in a rear chin lock.  Watson drops Riley with an enzuigiri and makes the tag to Kaval.  Kaval runs wild on Riley.  Kaval locks Riley in the Dragon Clutch on the ropes, then hits the Tidal Crush for 2.  Cannon takes out McGillicutty with a dive.  Kaval hits the double stomp on Riley.  Harris blind tags in and hits Kaval from behind.  Harris hits Kaval with the senton splash for the pin in 3:02.  Fine little TV match.  Sheamus attacks Cannon and McGillicutty at ringside, then hits the Razor’s Edge on Kaval.  Sheamus says he was sending a message, presumably that he’s not a coward.  Naturally, Kaval is made to look like the biggest jobber of the bunch.

John Morrison & R-Truth are headed our way!  Commercials.

Tonight, Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett!

John Morrison & R-Truth vs. William Regal & Zack Ryder.  Regal and Ryder work over Truth.  Morrison gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Morrison hits a sweet one man Spanish Fly on Ryder, but Regal saves.  Truth takes out Regal.  Morrison hits Ryder with the Flying Chuck and the Starship Pain for the pin in 2:11.  At least they squashed Ryder instead of Regal.

Cole and Lawler hype the SummerSlam card.

Divas in swimsuits are NEXT!  Commercials.

Divas Summertime Spectacular: Maryse & Jillian Hall vs. Eve Torres & Gail Kim vs. The Bella Twins.  Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov are the special guest referees.  The girls come down a water slide in the entryway.  Maryse puts her hate on Eve’s face, so Eve kicks her ass.  One of the Bellas tags in and gets worked over by Maryse and Jillian.  The other Bella gets the tag and runs wild on Jillian.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Eve hits a neckbreaker drop on a Bella.  Gail puts a lifesaver thing on Maryse and hits the Eat Defeat.  Jillian throws Gail outside onto Eve.  Nikki Bella hits a diving cross body on Jillian for the pin in 2:51.  Typical divas/comedy match.  At least it’s out of the way now.  Tamina comes out.  She seems to have a thing for Santino… or she just wants to threaten him.  She slaps him on the ass, so I guess she likes him.

SummerSlam Recall: The Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie in a Jailhouse Match at SummerSlam ’91.  The Mountie lost and had to spend the night in a New York City jail!

Great Khali is headed our way!  But wait!  The Nexus jump him and take out his knee!  Commercials.

The Nexus come out.  Barrett says his match with Khali has been canceled.  He talks about The Nexus gaining power.  Sheffield talks about taking people out.  Otunga warns anyone else against joining Team WWE.

John Cena and Bret Hart come across The Miz backstage.  Miz assumes that they were going to ask him to join Team WWE.  They ask him if he’s in.  He says he’ll let them know Sunday.  The main event is next.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Next week, Justin Long will be the guest host!  Sweet!  I actually like that guy.

Lumberjack Match: Edge & Chris Jericho vs. John Cena & Bret Hart.  The Nexus are lumberjacks.  Edge beats up Cena to start.  Cena takes Edge down with a side headlock after Bret decks Edge from the apron.  Edge escapes and throws Cena outside to the Nexus.  They put the boots to him and throws him back in.  Jericho tags in and… throws Cena out to Nexus, where the put the boots to him and throws him back in.  Repeat.  Jericho tries to do it a third time, but Cena reverses him outside.  The Nexus don’t attack Jericho, they simply let him back in.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Cena reverses it, misses a shoulder block, and falls outside.  He escapes The Nexus, but Jericho accidentally clocks Barrett.  Cena knocks Jericho outside and The Nexus kick his ass.  Edge tries to help, but gets his ass kicked too.  Bret brings Gabriel in the ring and beat him up, but The Nexus pull him to safety.  The Nexus huddle to talk strategy, then go after Cena and Bret.  Morrison and Truth run out to help.  The match is a no-contest in about 4 minutes.  Jericho and Edge come back to rejoin Team WWE.  They face off and brawl.  The crowd goes crazy.  Team WWE cleans house and the Nexus bail through the crowd.  Team WWE stands tall!

Fine show here.  They did a great job of promoting SummerSlam.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 8/6/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, Smackdown open.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Rey Mysterio comes out to cut a promo.  He claims he almost drowned when Kane chokeslammed him into the Gulf of Mexico last week.  They cut away to random clips like they like to do for these bullshit overly dramatic Smackdown promos.  He professes his innocence regarding Undertaker turning into corn.  He says he knows who attacked Undertaker.  Drew McIntyre comes out.  He calls Mysterio a criminal.  They banter about whatever.  McIntyre asks why Mysterio didn’t help Jack Swagger’s daddy.  Why would he?  Rey says it was none of his business.  McIntyre says he wishes he had been the one to take out Undertaker.  He has an idea to take out Mysterio in Mysterio’s home area tonight.  He challenges Mysterio to a match tonight.  Mysterio bitches at him in Spanish and agrees to the match.  I always zone out during these long promos.

Tonight, the trailer for Cena’s movie… again.  Fuck.

Tonight, Kofi Kingston defends the Intercontinental Championship against Dolph Ziggler!

Matt Hardy vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes goes on the attack immediately.  Hardy beats him up in response.  Rhodes is wearing a wrist brace that makes his look even more silly without knee pads.  Hardy hits a bulldog for 2.  Hardy tries to set up his finish, but Rhodes bails.  Insta-commercials.  Hardy works Rhodes’ arm.  Rhodes pulls Hardy down from the middle rope, injuring Hardy’s leg.  Rhodes hits his rebound kick for 2.  Rhodes applies a crossface.  Hardy gets a sunset flip for 2.  Rhodes tries a suplex, but Hardy counters into an inside cradle for 2.  Rhodes beats up Hardy and reapplies the crossface.  Striker makes reference to Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother, because Rhodes is supposed to be super smooth.  Hardy escapes the crossface, but Rhodes keeps beating on him.  Back to the crossface again.  Hardy escapes yet again and makes his comeback.  Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  Rhodes gets a schoolboy for 2.  Rhodes his a side Russian leg sweep, then misses a knee drop.  Rhodes blocks a bulldog headlock attempt in the corner.  Hardy tries to set up a superplex.  Rhodes tries to counter into the Alabama Slam.  Hardy ends up hitting his face on the top turnbuckle.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin (7:33 shown).  Fine match.

Tonight, Kofi Kingston defends the Intercontinental Championship against Dolph Ziggler!

Legendary trailer.  Third time I’ve had to watch that crap this week.

Plug for the crappy SummerSlam theme song.

Tonight, Mysterio vs. McIntyre!

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Rosa Mendez is talking to Teddy Long.  WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool come in and make her leave, then bitch at Teddy for making them have just one women’s champion.  McCool gives Teddy her belt (obviously the real one).  They argue over who the champion is.  Layla won the fucking belt, you stupid fucking moron bitches.  The fake belt breaks in half.  They seem content with that.

Speaking of stupid fucking moron bitches, Vickie Guerrero comes out to introduce Dolph Ziggler.  He’ll challenge for the IC title NEXT!

WWE Rewind: Kofi beating the shit out of Ziggler last week.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Kofi lands some kicks to start, causing Ziggler to bail.  Kofi takes Ziggler down to try to wrestling, but Ziggler beats on him and throws him out of the ring.  Kofi comes back in pissed off and beats up Ziggler some more.  They brawl outside, then back inside.  Ziggler beats on Kofi.  Kofi fires back, clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring, and hits a tope suicida.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler has Kofi in a neck & shoulder hold, having sent his shoulder into the post during the break.  Ziggler hits the Hennig neck snap for 1, then covers again for 2.  That’s dumb.  Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows for 2.  Kofi beats on Ziggler some more.  Ziggler hits an arm stunner for 2.  Vickie gets on the apron.  Kofi lands the Trouble In Paradise on Ziggler.  Vickie gets in the ring and screams obnoxiously at the referee.  Ziggler recovers and hits the Zig Zag for the pin (7:22 shown).  Ziggler and Vickie celebrate the title win.  Kofi recovers and beats the shit out of Ziggler.  The match was okay.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

The Straight Edge Society come out.  Punk, Gallows, and Mercury vs. Big Show in a 3-on-1 match is announced for SummerSlam.  Punk talks.  They show the attack from last week where they injured Big Show’s hand.  Punk bitches at the SES members for being happy, then makes them get on their knees.  This is getting creepy.  Happiness is weakness, he says.  He babbles on some more.  Okay then.

The Straight Edge Society (w/ Serena) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter, Chris Masters, & JTG.  Gallows beats up JTG to start.  MVP tags in and schools Gallows.  Punk still has his arm in a sling from the arm injury.  Mercury tags in and works over MVP as Striker compares the SES to the Freebirds.  Seriously.  Gallows hits a big splash on MVP for 2.  Gallows and Mercury take turns working over MVP.  MVP makes a comeback, but Punk kicks him in the back of the head from the apron.  MVP takes a bump off of a big boot that Gallows hadn’t even connected with yet and Gallows gets the pin in 3:03.  This was okay until the finish, which was completely botched.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes gives grooming tips.  This week’s topic is eyebrows.

Raw Rebound.

Grisham and Striker hype the SummerSlam card.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane cuts a typically bizarre promo backstage with a casket.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Drew McIntyre.  They lock up and McIntyre powers Mysterio into the corner.  Mysterio tries to be abusive and elusive.  McIntyre hits an enzui lariat and pounds on Mysterio.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but McIntyre bails.  Mysterio hits him with a dive.  McIntyre beats on Mysterio more back in the ring.  Mysterio connects with a headscissors, then a diving rana off the ring apron.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre works over Mysterio some more, including powerbombing him into the turnbuckles.  Cover gets 2.  Outside, McIntyre drops Mysterio across the announce table.  McIntyre contiues to abuse Mysterio back in the ring.  Mysterio tries his flippy bulldog, but McIntyre face plants him and rolls it over for 2.  McIntyre hits a gut buster for 2.  Mysterio plants McIntyre with a spinning DDT and makes his comeback.  Mysterio hits the rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio tries another headscissors, but McIntyre turns it into a backbreaker for 2.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Mysterio counters.  McIntyre avoids the 619.  Mysterio gets a sunset flip out of nowhere for the pin (11:11 shown).  Pretty good match.

Mysterio starts to speak, but Kane comes out pushing a casket.  McIntyre hits Mysterio from behind, then bails and runs away.  Kane goes for Mysterio, but Mysterio escapes and goes to the stage.  Mysterio says Kane took out the Undertaker.  I think everyone knows that.  Kane gets all pissed off, then appears to cry.

This was a pretty good show besides the stupid continuation of the stupid Kane angle.  I’ll be glad when that shit is over.

WWE NXT 8/3/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 3, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, “Last week on NXT…” video, NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  The awful Jamie Keyes is the ring announcer.  We’re TAPED from Laredo, Texas.

The Pros are on stage: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, John Morrison, Montel Vontavious Porter, Cody Rhodes, Zack Ryder, WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool, and WWE United States Champion The Miz.

Matt Striker introduces the rookies: Alex Riley, Kaval, Percy Watson, Lucky Cannon, Michael McGillicutty, and Husky Harris.  Striker bitches at them about the brawl last week.  Striker says tonight’s contest will be a kissing contest.  Are you fucking serious?  Striker calls Layla and Michelle McCool to the ring.  LayCool babble about what the fuck ever.  A fucking kissing contest for real?  LayCool finally say they aren’t going to kiss these geeks.  They bring out a fat, middle aged trailer trash woman with herpes sores on her mouth.  Husky actually kisses her.  He’s disgusted.  It must be like kissing my ex-wife.  McGillicutty licks her face and is also disgusted.  Well what the fuck did he expect?  Lucky kisses her and actually smiles.  Percy doesn’t want to do it, but McCool pushes his head down into the grossness.  Layla kisses Kaval to save him from that horrible fate.  Oh no, he has to kiss her anyway.  He MANS UP and plants one on this horrid woman.  Alex Riley plants a BIG ONE on her, then feigns being lovestruck and falling down.  Margarete rules that Lucky Cannon is the winner.  LayCool says everyone won a bunch of diseases.  Riley goes back for me.  Cannon seems to want to fight him for this unfuckable hag.  And I’ve fucked some hags in my day.  Fucking horrible shit.  This show is off to a great start… commercials…

Kaval (w/ WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool) vs. Husky Harris (w/ “Dashing” Cody Rhodes).  They lock up.  Harris backs Kaval into the corner and slaps him.  Harris takes Kaval down.  Kaval fights out and lands some kicks.  Kaval awesomely balances on Harris’ shoulders, then hits him with a dropkick.  Harris bails.  Kaval attempts a dive, but Harris catches him and rams him into the barricade.  Back inside, Harris covers for 2, then puts the boots to Kaval.  Kaval fires back with chops.  Harris tries a catapult, but Kaval catches himself and hits a double stomp for 2.  Harris avoids Kaval in the corner and hits a uranage slam.  Harris hits the senton for the pin in 3:16.  Mediocre match and Kaval jobs again.  Boo.

The Miz talks about Michael McGillicutty in a pre-taped segment.

Ashley Valence interviews Michael McGillicutty (w/ Kofi Kingston).  McGillicutty wants Miz tonight.  Lucky Cannon and Mark Henry show up.  Lucky and McGillicutty argue about who is going to wrestle Miz.  In the arena, Miz says Lucky and McGillicutty can face each other tonight, with Miz maybe wrestling the winner.  Kofi challenges Miz to face the winner… TONIGHT.  After some taunting, Miz agrees.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Michael McGillicutty (w/ WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston) vs. Lucky Cannon (w/ Mark Henry).  They lock up and do mat wrestling.  Yay!  McGillicutty avoids a monkey flip and dropkicks Cannon in the face.  McGillicutty hits the neckbreaker (McGillicutter) for the pin in 1:00.  Pretty good for a one minute match, but you can’t do much in a minute.

Tonight, Percy Watson vs. Alex Riley!  Commercials.

The SummerSlam song is some crappy song by some crappy band!

Cole and Matthews hype the SummerSlam card.

Striker asks the Pros which Pro they think is doing the worst job.  Kofi says LayCool are the worst Pros.  That is a fact.  LayCool I think says Kofi as a receipt.  Henry says it’s Ryder.  Rhodes says it’s Kofi.  Miz interrupts Ryder before he can answer and says it’s all of them.  Miz and Morrison bicker.  Riley vs. Watson is NXT!  Commercials.

Alex Riley (w/ WWE United States Champion The Miz) vs. Percy Watson (w/ Montel Vontavious Porter).  We get a “WWE.com Exclusive” promo from Watson.  Doesn’t it stop being internet exclusive when they show it on TV?  Riley starts with a fucking kick the gut, because apparently in FCW they don’t teach fuckers how to lock up.  Watson leapfrogs Riley and hits an elbow smash for 2.  Watson hits an enzuigiri, then dances.  Riley hits a modified DDT OF MURDER on the apron.  Cover gets 2.  Riley applies a shoulder hold.  Watson fights out, but gets dropped again.  Watson fires back, loses the stupid glasses, and hits some dropkicks.  Watson gets a sunset flip out of the corner for 2.  Watson hits corner punches.  Riley hits a Manhattan drop and pulls Watson down into the middle turnbuckle.  Riley hits the TKO for the pin in 3:30.  Decent little match, I thought.  Miz vs. McGillicutty is NXT!  Commercials!

NXT week is elimination week!

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Michael McGillicutty (w/ WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston).  They lock up.  Miz pushes McGillicutty into the corner and gives a dirty break.  They lock up again and McGillicutty takes Miz down.  Mat wrestling!  Yay!  McGillcutty gets a schoolboy for 2.  Miz hits a knee lift and kicks McGillicutty in the gut.  Miz punishes McGillicutty against the ropes.  McGillicutty gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz kicks McGillicutty out of the ring with a sliding dropkick.  Kofi helps McGillicutty up.  McGillicutty rams Miz into the side of the ring.  Miz boots McGillicutty in the face.  Miz throws McGillicutty into the ring and covers for 2.  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  McGillcitty comes back and kicks Miz’s ass.  McGillicutty is rolling.  Miz avoids a basement dropkick and boots McGillicutty in the face again.  Miz stares at the other Pros, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 4:34.  Not a bad little match.

The opening segment was fucking awful WrestleCrap bullshit.  The rest of the show wasn’t bad.

WWE Monday Night Raw 8/2/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 2, 2010 by Chui

“Last week on Raw…” video.  Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Randy Orton faces The Miz.  Plus a trailer for Cena’s next shitty movie!

Edge comes out to cut a promo.  He talks about he’s the only person who matters, etc. etc.  He says he’s challenging Wade Barrett to a match tonight.  R-Truth comes out and tries to convince Edge how important the match at SummerSlam is.  He tells Edge to get his head out of his ass.  They bicker.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  The crowd hates this mystery GM bullshit.  iBooker orders Truth out of the ring and says Edge will face Barrett next.  Truth tells Edge he’s on his own and leaves.  Commercials.

Edge vs. Wade Barrett.  They lock up.  Barrett beats on Edge.  Edge rallies and beats on Barrett.  Edge hits a spear in the corner for 2.  Barrett drops Edge with a big boot, then follows with another one that knocks Edge to the floor.  Barrett beats up Edge on the outside, then back in the ring.  Barrett chokes Edge against the bottom rope.  Shouldn’t he be fired?  Cover gets 2.  Barrett applies a rear chin lock.  The crowd is getting behind Edge.  Edge fights out.  Double clothesline spot.  Edge gets rolling and goes for the Edgecution.  Barrett counters, but Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Edge goes up top, but Barrett hits him with a boot and goes for his finish.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge sets up for the spear.  Barrett bails to avoid it.  Barrett calls for the rest of the Nexus to come down.  Edge escapes through the crowd.  It’s a no-contest in about 6 minutes.  It was fine while it lasted.

Tonight, Orton vs. Miz!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Edge is looking for John Cena backstage.  He finds him and asks why Cena didn’t save his ass.  Because you ran away too fast?  Cena calls him on his bullshit.  Edge quits the team.  Chris Jericho appears.  He wants Cena to quit the team.  What a retard.  Jericho challenges Cena to a match tonight, with the loser being off of the team.  Cena reluctantly agrees.

SummerSlam Recall: Bret Hart beating Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Championship in 1991.  That’s one of my favorite matches of all time.  Is Shawn is Mr. WrestleMania, Bret should be Mr. SummerSlam.

John Morrison talks to Great Khali backstage, with Ranjin Singh translating.  Morrison realizes he’s getting nowhere and leaves.  Michael Tarver and David Otunga appear.  They imply that they want him to join The Nexus.  Singh encourages Khali to consider it.  Commercials.

Eve Torres, Gail Kim, & Natalya vs. WWE Divas Champion Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall, & Tamina.  Hall and Gail start.  Jillian works Gail’s hair.  Jillian hits a backbreaker for 2.  Fox tags in and hits Gail with a Northern Lights suplex for 2.  Gail fights back against Fox and hits a flapjack.  Natalya tags in and works over Fox.  Natalya hits a double arm suplex hold, but Tamina saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Gail takes out Tamina with a dive to the outside.  Hall throws Gail into the post.  Eve hits Jillian with a baseball slide dropkick.  Tamina clotheslines Eve.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Tamina saves.  Natala beats up Tamina.  Fox hits Natalya with the scissors kick from behind for the pin in 2:52.  Better than usual divas match.  Fox says she’s the greatest Divas Champion of all time.  That’s not exactly difficult.  She says she’s beaten everyone.  The returning Melina comes out.  Fox bails.  Jillian throws her back into the ring.  Melina kicks her ass.  Ugh, Melina’s back.

Tonight, Jericho vs. Cena in a Loser Leaves the Team Match!

WWE Champion Sheamus is headed our way!  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: Randy Orton beat Jey Uso last week.  Sheamus took out Jimmy Uso, then Orton then RKO’d Sheamus.

Non-Title: WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Goldust.  WWECW revisited!  They actually show footage from their feud last year on ECW!  That feud did wonders for Sheamus.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Goldust into the corner and slaps him.  Goldust fires back and gets rolling.  Sheamus avoids the palm strike and knees Goldust in the face.  Sheamus hits the Uranage backbreaker, then the pump kick, then the Razor’s Edge (he calls it the High Cross) for the pin in 2:08.  Fun little match while it lasted.  Sheamus cuts a post-match promo about all he’s achieved in the past year.

Cena vs. Jericho is NEXT!  Commercials.

Loser Leaves Team WWE: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Cena backs Jericho into the corner.  The referee gets in the middle of them and Jericho gets in a cheap shot to get the advantage.  Jericho sends Cena outside and throws him into the steps.  Cena barely beats the count into the ring.  Jericho beats up Cena and yells at him to stay down.  Jericho chokes Cena with the ring ropes while Cena looks like he’s asleep.  Shouldn’t Jericho be fired for that?  Cena fights back.  Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and hits the bottom rope decapitator.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Cena escapes and side steps Jericho, who spears the post.  Cena makes his comeback.  When Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho springs up and hits the Codebreaker.  Cena falls out of the ring.  Jericho brings him back in and covers for 2.  Commercials.  Jericho punches Cena down.  Cena goes for the STF, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Cena counters that and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho avoids it and low bridges Cena out of the ring.  Cena makes to the apron, but Jericho kicks him off again.  Jericho rams Cena’s face into the announce table and yells at him.  Back inside, Jericho hits a diving elbow smash for 2.  Cena hammers Jericho with punches .  Jericho knocks Cena down and hits the Lionsault for 2.  Jericho tries to set Cena up on the top rope, but Cena fights him off and hits the diving Fameasser.  Cena hurts his knee, but covers for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjusment again, but Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho.  Cena counters and goes for the STF.  Jericho taps before it’s even fully applied to give Cena the win in 14:10.  If Jericho wanted off of the SummerSlam team that bad, why didn’t he just quit like Edge did?  Good match, though.  Cena asks Jericho to stay on the team anyway.  Jericho teases coming back to makes peace, but blows Cena off and leaves.

Still to come, Orton vs. Miz!  Commercials.

Moments ago, the Jericho/Cena stuff happened.

Jericho goes into Edge’s locker room.  They verbally fellate each other and make friends.

Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000 saying that Edge & Jericho will faces Cena & Bret Hart next week.  Really?  The Nexus will be lumberjacks.  Fucking idiots.  Why do these idiots keep putting Bret in matches?

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton.  He invites Sheamus to sit at ringside for Orton’s match with The Miz.

Cena’s shitty movie trailer is next.  Ugh.  Commercials.

Trailer for Cena’s next shitty movie, “Legendary.”  Cena plays an ex-con who teaches his younger brother how to do amateur wrestling.

Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  Dibiase ducks Khali’s lock up attempt and throws a chop, which is completely ineffective.  Khali destroys him.  Dibiase dropkicks Khali’s knee to take him down and applies a front face lock.  Khali lifts Dibiase and drops him.  Khali hits a clothesline and goes for the big chop.  Dibiase cowers in the corner.  Khali stomps and chokes him.  Maryse distracts Khali to give Dibiase the advantage.  Wade Barrett and Skip Sheffield come out to distract Dibiase.  Khali hits the head chop and applies the vice grip for the referee stop victory in 2:19.  Not bad for what it was.

The Miz is walking backstage!  Commercials.

Cena & Bret vs. Edge & Jericho in a Lumberjack Match next week!

They show the Bella Twins hanging out with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.  Retarded shit.

WWE United States Champion The Miz comes out and cuts a promo on Randy Orton.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Randy Orton.  They lock up aggressively.  Miz backs Orton into the corner, cheap shots him, and puts the boots to him.  Orton drops Miz with a clothesline and stomps him a bunch.  Miz rallies and hits a knee lift for 2.  Orton boots Miz in the face and hits the bottom rope decapitator.  That move is getting really popular lately.  Orton hits a knee drop for 2.  Orton clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  WWE Champion Sheamus comes out and stands on the ramp.  Commercials.  Orton beats on Miz.  Sheamus is still watching from the ramp.  Miz blasts Orton with a boot to the face.  Miz beats on Orton.  Miz hits another boot to the face for 2.  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  Orton fights out and hits the 3.0.  Orton is selling that his knee is hurt.  Miz chokes Orton with his boot, then hits the clothesline to the corner for 2.  Miz beats on Orton some more until the referee makes him stop.  Orton lands an uppercut.  Miz fires back and drops Orton.  Orton lands some punches and clotheslines.  Orton hits the snap powerslam.  Miz rolls to the apron.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Miz backdrops Orton to the floor.  Orton comes back in and Miz hits him with a reverse DDT backbacker into a neckbreaker for 2.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere for the pin in 14:15.  Pretty decent match.  Sheamus tries to run in, but reconsiders when he sees Orton is humping the mat.  I don’t blame him.  End of show.

Pretty good show all together.  Nothing that made me really angry.