Archive for Strap Match

TNA iMPACT! 12/30/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2011 by Grappleholic

The usual video package of recent happenings.

“The Con Game?”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Mick Foley comes out and calls out Ken Anderson.  Anderson comes out.  They talk about visiting wounded soldiers with Miss America.  They bicker about whether or not Anderson should wrestle.  Anderson’s concussion was like 2 months ago.  I’m sure he’s fine now.  He says he’s fine and he’s been cleared.  I’m sure he has.  I wish they’d be done with this stupid story already.  Matt Morgan comes out.  Morgan accuses Anderson  of trying to con him.  I don’t get it.  They bicker.  Anderson wants to fight now.  Foley gets between them.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy comes out.  Apparently he has booking power now, because he announces that Anderson and Morgan will be on opposing sides of a tag match with mystery partners tonight.

Backstage, Eric Young is dressed as Father Time, but he thinks he’s Moses.  Orlando Jordan is Baby New Year.  Jordan still thinks they’re gay and Young still thinks they’re a tag team.  Stupid.

Tonight, Sarita vs. Velvet Sky in Strap Match!  Double J Double M A Challenge!  Anderson & ? vs. Morgan & ?!

Robert Roode (w/ James Storm) vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin (w/ TNA World Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley).  They lock up and trade arm locks.  That’s always a fine way to start.  Roode grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Sabin hits arm drags and wrenches Roode’s arm.  Sabin sends Roode outside and hits a cross body off the top rope to the floor.  Back inside, Sabin tries to springboard.  Roode counters him and hits a modified Samoan drop for 2.  Roode chokes Sabin with his boot.  Sabin gets a sunset flip for 2.  Roode hits a clothesline that Sabin does a 360 bump for.  Cover gets 2.  Roode applies a rear chin lock.  Sabin escapes and makes his comeback.  Sabin hits a diving rana and a springboard lariat for 2.  Roode gets a sunset flip for 2.  Sabin turns it into a Gedo Clutch like move for 2.  Sabin hits an enzuigiri.  Cover, but Storm grabs the referee’s foot.  Nothing comes of that.  Sabin goes for the springboard tornado DDT, but Roode counters and hits the spinebuster for the pin in 6:04.  Good match.

Rob Van Dam talks to no one in particular.  He’s headed our way.

Eric Young sits on Orlando Jordan’s lap backstage.  He doesn’t understand why he’s doing it.  Shark Boy comes in and begs for TV time.  He drinks beer so he can be sit on Jordan’s lap.  Stupid shit.

Rob Van Dam comes out and bitches about Eric Bischoff.  He has a mystery opponent tonight.  He says it doesn’t matter, he’ll keep going through people until he gets Jeff Hardy.  The Shore tard is his mystery opponent.  Ugh.

Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  Robbie jerks off the air like a retard.  RVD does his thumb pointing gimmick and kicks the idiot in the chest.  RVD beats up the Shore tard.  RVD goes for the Rolling Thunder, but Cookie grabs his foot.  Robbie gets heat on RVD, which is absurd.  RVD rallies and hits the springboard kick and a Rolling Thunder splash.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 2:14.  At least that tard is getting jobbed out now.  Jeff Hardy appears on the screen.  He says he’ll face RVD if RVD beats his chosen mystery opponent at Genesis.  I’m calling Matt Hardy.

Still to come, Anderson & ? vs. Morgan & ?!

Kazarian and some bimbos are headed our way!

Sarita talks shit about Velvet Sky to the camera.

Kazarian comes out and cuts a promo.  They show clips of the video from a few months ago where Jay Lethal visited his family.  Kazarian talks shit about them being poor.  He makes some borderline racist remarks and talks shit about Lethal’s mother.  TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal comes out to kick Kazarian’s ass.  Kazarian immediately whacks him with an object.  When was the last time they actually tried to promote an X Division title match?

Mick Foley is walking around backstage!

Mick Foley walks into the office to talk to Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair.  He’s still upset about Anderson’s brain and wants to know who the partners are going to be in the mystery tag match.  He says he’ll be at ringside tonight.

Strap Match: Velvet Sky vs. Sarita.  Sarita, having just cut a promo about how she was looking forward to the strap match, doesn’t want to strap up.  The referee makes her.  Sarita bails, but SHE’S TIED TO HER OPPONENT BY THE FUCKING STRAP.  Velvet pulls her back.  Sarita whips her.  They do the usual strap match bullshit.  The strap comes untied from Sarita.  The referee secures it back.  Velvet whips Sarita and chokes her with the strap.  Velvet drags Sarita around and touches 3 corners.  Sarita touches them too.  Sarita throws Velvet over and touches the last corner to win in 2:59.  This was awful.  Sarita attacks Velvet again after the match.  Angelina Love makes the save.

Back to the freak party.  Brian Kendrick has joined Young, Jordan, and Shark Boy.  Young waves a stick around like a moron.  Jordan berates him for “poking other guys with his staff.”  Everyone, even Jordan, wants women to show up.

Still to come, Double J Double M A Challenge!  The mystery partners match!

During the break, Velvet Sky threw a fit and stormed to the back.

Now, Angelina Love attacks Sarita backstage.  I guess it’s time for our weekly long, boring women’s brawl.  Winter saves Love from Sarita, even though Love started it.  Winter consoles Love.

Still to come, the mystery partners match!

2010 year in review/2011 hype video.

Double J Double M A Challenge is NEXT!

Doug Williams is in a tag match tonight, but has no partner.  That’s like a plague in TNA.  Brutus Magnus volunteers to be his partner.  The British Invasion is BACK!

Jeff Jarrett comes out with Gunner, Murphy, and his other geeks to do the MMA thing.  Amazing Red agreed to bring his “baby brother” this week.  Red comes out alone.  Jarrett agrees to stand on his knees and give Red’s brother the first shot.  A big, jacked up, tattooed dude comes out.

$100,000 MMA Challenge: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Gunner, Murphy, & geeks) vs. Amazing Red’s Baby Brother (w/ Amazing Red).  Jarrett tries to click.  That fails.  He tries again.  Big Red takes Jarrett down with a Fujiwara armbar, but Jarrett was in the ropes.  Big Red gets a knee lock.  Another rope break.  These people don’t know how MMA works.  Jarrett gets off his ass and beats up Big Red.  He goes for the ankle lock, but Big Red reverses it.  Gunner and Murphy pull Jarrett out of the ring.  Red beats up the little one.  The ref throws it out in 2:03.  Jarrett tries to use the guitar, but Amazing Red takes it from him and smashes it.  Jarrett bails and has Gunner and Murphy pretend to hold him back.  This was retarded.

Still to come, mystery partners tag match.  Next, AJ Styles & Rob Terry against the reunited British Invasion.

Jeff Jarrett complains to Eric Bischoff.  From now on, his fights will be against shorter opponents and they’ll only be exhibitions.  What’s the point of that?  They’re also just now going to start having people sign waivers.  This company is so fucking retarded.

AJ Styles & Rob Terry vs. TNA World Television Champion Douglas Williams & Magnus.  Styles grabs Magnus in a side headlock.  Magnus give him a hip toss, then wrenches his arm.  Styles rakes Magnus’ eyes and demands that Williams tag in.  Williams obliges.  Styles immediately tags in Terry.  Terry beats up Williams.  Styles tags in and goes for the Styles Clash, but Williams counters.  Styles immediately tags back out.  Terry beats up Williams some more.  Styles comes in to pick up the scraps again.  Williams avoids Styles in the corner and hits an Exploder.  Magnus gets the tag and runs wild on Styles.  Magnus hits a running powerslam.  Terry saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Styles sends Williams outside.  Styles hits the Chaos Theory on Magnus for the pin in 4:55.  It was okay.

Madison Rayne is DRESSED UP and headed our way.

Generation Me and Tara join the freak party backstage.  Jordan hits on Tara.  A fight breaks out.  Ugh.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne comes out in a gown with some dudes in suits.  I predict that this segment will be pointless and horrible.  She makes So Cal Val hand her a microphone, then talks in her obnoxious, nails on a chalkboard voice.  She talks shit about Mickie James.  Mickie comes out and kicks her ass.  Madison gets her dress ripped off and tries to act like she’s self conscious about being in her underwear.

Mystery partners tag match is next!

“The  Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks to a guy about adopting pit bull puppies for poor children.  Ugh.

Mick Foley comes out to do commentary on the main event.

Ken Anderson & Brother Ray vs. Matt Morgan & Brother Devon.  Devon and Anderson start.  Devon wants Ray, but Ray pussies out and drops off the apron.  Eric Bischoff comes out and sends Gunner and Murphy after Foley.  Ray jumps Devon from behind in the ring.  Anderson and Devon do some stuff.  Foley decks Gunner and Murphy and puts Mr. Socko on the little one.  End of show.  Awful shit.

TNA ends the year in typical fashion: with a fucking horrible pro wrestling show.

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WWE Extreme Rules 2009 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, followed by the PPV intro video.  Michael Cole welcomes us to the show as Lillian Garcia introduces the first match.

Fatal Four-Way Match for WWE United States Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Cole and Lawler are on commentary, and put over Kingston beating MVP for the title this past Monday on Raw.  Typical double team/pair off and brawl stuff early on.  Kofi is awesome.  Cole gets in his “Controlled Frenzy” for the night.  Regal beats the shit out of Kingston, which is always good stuff.  Regal sets up a butterfly suplex on Kofi.  MVP tries to turn it into a Tower of Doom spot, but they botch it.  Kofi and Regal still take the bump, though.  Hardy comes in fresh after staying outside for a bit and tries to pin everyone.  Everyone kicks out.  Matt sets up the Twist of Fate on MVP, but Kofi gets back in the action and punishes Regal and Hardy.  Regal counters the Trouble In Paradise and T-bones Kofi right into Hardy, which Kofi uses to get a near fall.  The match turns into everybody hitting big moves and covering, then someone else breaking up the cover.  Regal hits Exploders on everyone until Kingston catches him the Trouble In Paradise for the pin at 6:42.  Short, but fun and exciting match, and a good way to kick off the show.

Josh Matthews interviews The Big Show, who says John Cena can’t put him in the STF.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham talk about the recent issues between Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio.  Justin Roberts is in the ring to introduce the match.  He introduces Jericho, but Jericho doesn’t come out.  He’s in the merchanidise stand bitching about Mysterio’s merchanidise.  He comes down to the ring through the crowd, talking the whole way.  Mysterio comes out, so now we can have our match.  Ross says that Mysterio is the first masked Intercontinental Champion.  Kane says hello.

No Holds Barred Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  Mysterio jumps Jericho at the bell and kicks his ass all around the ringside area.  Rey hits a sweet rana off the apron and takes the match in the ring.  Jericho gets the advantage and holds it until Mysterio counters his springboard dropkick to the apron.  Rey hits a 619 around the ringpost to send Jericho off the apron and hits a diving splash on to him.  Back in the ring. Jericho avoids the 619.  Rey gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Jericho rolls it back for one of his own.  Rey rolls through a sunset flip attempt and tries a dropkick, but Jericho catches and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Rey turns it into a inside cradle, but can’t get the pin.  Jericho gets the advantage and goes for Rey’s mask.  Rey escapes, then avoids a charging Jericho, who spears the ring post and goes outside.  Rey hits a tope suicida.  Rey does his Speedy Gonzales routine back in the ring.  Jericho avoids the 619 again and does a swank spinning backbreaker for a near fall.  Rey avoids the Lionsault and hits the 619.  He goes for a diving something or other, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker for a very near fall.  Jericho brings a chair into the ring, but Mysterio dropkicks into his face and covers for a near fall.  Mysterio hits a leg drop with the chair for another near fall, then sets the chair up in the corner and hits a drop toehold onto it.  Mysterio uses the chair as a springboard for a Frankensteiner, but Jericho turns it into the Walls of Jericho.  Mysterio nails him with the chair and goes for the 619, but Jericho manages to yank his mask off.  Mysterio desperately covers his face and allows himself to be pinned with a schoolboy in 14:40, even though anyone who watched WCW from 1999 to 2001 has seen his face.  Jericho wins the Intercontinental Title for the unprecendented 9th time.  Good match.

Randy Savage DVD available this Tuesday!

New Orleans!

Josh Matthews interviews Batista.  Actually, they show the video of Randy Orton killing Ric Flair, then Batista comments on it.  He’s going to do various nasty things to Orton tonight.

Samoan Strap Match: Umaga vs. CM Punk. They show Umaga killing Punk on Smackdown a few weeks ago.  You win here by touching all four corners in succession… secession?  You know what I mean.  Umaga whips Punk with the strap and punishes him in various other nasty ways.  How the hell do you do PBP on a Strap Match?  “He whips the other guy, he uses the strap to hold the other guy back…”  Punk fights back and goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but doesn’t get it.  They both get near falls (I.E. touching 3 turnbuckles but being prevented from touching the fourth.  Umaga goes for the diving splash, but Punk uses the strap to pull him off the top rope.   Punk touches 3 corners, hits the Go 2 Sleep, and touches the fourth for the win at 8:58.  Meh.  Strap matches are kind of a stupid gimmick.

New Orleans again!

Matt Striker and Josh Matthews are ready to announce the ECW Championship match!

Gregory Helms interviews the ECW Champion, Christian.  Christian says he’s going to miss Tommy Dreamer, because he’s not losing his title.  Dreamer comes up and says Christian will indeed be losing the title.  Jack Swagger steps in to say his bit, but Dreamer and Christian leave.  Cut to Tony Chimel who is in the ring to introduce the match.

Triple Threat Hardcore Match for the ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger.  They get in-ring introductions.  They brawl a bit, then Christian and Dreamer bring the plunder in.  Dreamer utilizes the Singapore cane to great effect.  Dreamer is in his element here, and shows why he is called the Innovator of Violence.  Swagger finally gets the advantage on Dreamer and tries to superplex him into a pile of trashcans.  Christian comes in and adds a powerbomb to the equation.  I guess they had to do it since the guys in the four-way fucked up the Tower of Doom spot.  Christian ducks a crutch shot from Swagger and goes for the Killswitch.  Swagger counters and goes for the Doctor Bomb.  Dreamer nails Swagger with the crutch to break it, then bashes him with it again and hits a DDT.  Dreamer covers and gets the pin on Swagger at 9:37 to WIN THE ECW CHAMPIONSHIP!  With no Justin Credible to fuck up the moment. Tommy Dreamer finally gets to enjoy capturing the ECW Championship.  That’s my feel good markout moment of the night.

Chavo Guerrero prepare Vickie for her defense of the Miss WrestleMania crown.  Michael Cole talks about it for a bit, then throws it to Jerry Lawler, who is with the pigs.  “Santina” comes out, followed by Vickie, who says she’s making the match a Handicap Match.  A less than delighted Chavo will be her partner.

Handicap Hog Pen Match for the Miss WrestleMania Crown: Vickie Guerrero (c) & Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Santina Marella.  Vickie sends Chavo in to fight while she stays outside in her gown.  Santina and Chavo fight in the muck.  Santina throws Chavo into the pen with the hogs.  Shouldn’t the match be over?  I guess it’s pinfall only.  Santina schoolgirls Chavo for a near fall.  Chavo beats down Santina and tags in Vickie.  Santina tries to slop her, but Chavo jumps him and tries to slop him.  He misses and slops Vickie.  Santina slops Chavo, then pins Vickie for the win at 2:43 to become Miss WrestleMania again.  Gross.  -50 stars.

SummerSlam, August 23 on PPV!

Orton/Batista video package.

Chavo and Vickie walk backstage while everyone in the vicinity holds their nose.  Goldust and Hornswoggle show up to bring the comedy, then run away from the smell.  They find Edge in Vickie’s office.  Vickie tells Edge he’s on his own tonight.  Edge says he wants a divorce.  Poor Vickie.  Divorces are no fun at all, and I don’t imagine being covered in pig shit is either.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista.  In-ring intros, and we’re off!  Orton tries to escape immediately, but Batista stops him and goes to work kicking his ass.  Orton avoids a charge and tries to escape again.  Rinse, repeat.  Orton counters the Batista Bomb and tries to escape again, but then decided to go for the punt instead.  Batista avoids it.  Orton avoids the Batista Bomb again.  Batista avoids the RKO.  Batista hits the Batista Bomb for the pin at 7:03.  Seriously?  That’s it?  Ah well, at least it was too short to suck.  Fun fact: this is the first time the WWE Championship has changed hands in a Steel Cage match.

Show/Cena video package.

Submission Match:
The Big Show vs. John Cena.  The whole basis of this match is that Show is too big for Cena to put in the STF.  Of course, he goes for it in the first minute and fails.  Of all the Cena/Show matches… this is one of them.  Same old shit, except with more sleeper holds.  About 10 minutes in, Cena avoids the Vader Bomb and tries to slam Show.  Show lands on top and hugs Cena, which is apparently a submission hold.  Show beats up Cena some more and locks in an abdominal stretch.  Cena counters a chokeslam attempt with a DDT and tries the STF again.  He still doesn’t get it.  Show locks in a bearhug.  Cena escapes and drops Show with a neckbreaker.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show goes for the chokeslam, but Cena avoids it and hits the Attitude Adjustment.  STF fails again.  Show lands the KO punch and knocks Cena out of the ring.  Show goes out and picks him him, but Cena slips off and sends Show into the ring post.  Back in the ring, Cena misses a diving leg drop, then props up one of show’s legs against the ropes and locks in a crossface.  The leg doesn’t stay.  Show submits to this half assed STF at 19:05, even though Show’s feet were under the ropes.  Fucking retarded.

Edge/Hardy video package.

Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  In-ring intros.  There are dozens of ladders placed around the ring.  First ouch moment comes 3 minutes in when Jeff backdrops Edge out of the ring and chest first onto a ladder.  Jeff makes the first attempt to climb up to the big gold belt, but Edge stops him, then drops him painfully on the ladder.  That’s one cheap aluminum ladder ruined.  Edge brings in another and sets it in a corner.  Jeff avoids a charging Edge, who spears the ladder.  Match goes on.  Edge creatively sandwiches Jeff in the ladder and locks in a Sharpshooter.  Later, Edge takes a painful front suplex into an open ladder.  Lots of creative painful looking things in this match.  Hardy brings in a really tall ladder.  He hits the Twist of Fate, then goes up the tall ladder with the intent of diving off.  Edge moves out of the way.  The ladder falls over but Jeff grabs hold of the belt.  Edge pulls him down before Jeff can take the belt down.  Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind off the ladder.  The carnage continues.  They take a huge bump off a ladder at ringside through another one set up on the ring apron and guardrail.  Back in the ring, Hardy climbs for the belt.  Edge climbs another ladder and tries to spear Hardy, but gets caught with a neckbreaker in mid air.  Hardy goes for the gold again.  Edge climbs up the other side and punches Hardy down.  Hardy pulls Edge’s legs through the ladder to trap him.  Edge can do nothing but look on as Hardy pulls the belt down and becomes World Heavyweight Champion at 20:06.  Pretty damn good ladder match.

But wait, it’s not over!  CM Punk comes down and cashes in the Money In The Bank contract!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk.  Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep for the 1, 2, HARDY KICKS OUT!  Punk can’t believe it.  Hardy gets a quick inside cradle, but Punk kicks out.  Punk nails a big kick and hits the Go 2 Sleep again and pins Hardy to win the title at 1:02.  PUNK IS WORLD CHAMPION!

Pretty good show for the most part.  Punk and Dreamer winning the gold makes me happy.

WWE Extreme Rules 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Extreme Rules opening video.  KFC presents Extreme Rules!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Baltimore, Maryland!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Justin Roberts announces that the opening contest is a STREET FIGHT!  Triple H’s music plays, but he doesn’t come out.  They go backstage to show Sheamus beating the shit out of Triple H.  They brawl as referees try to separate them.  Sheamus whacks Triple H in the side and back of the head with a pipe.  Teddy Long and some referees finally get Sheamus to back off, then call for the trainer to check on Triple H.

The Unified WWE Tag Team Champions Show Miz come out.  Miz cuts a promo.  He talks about the deal with Bret Hart, and says tomorrow night, Bret will have to say that Show Miz are the greatest tag team of all time.  I thought that deal was off because of the volcano.  Miz talks about wanting competition.  Teddy Long comes out and says he has a team to put against Show Miz, and if that team wins, they get a title shot.  Miz insults the Baltimore sports team and Teddy.  Long adds another team that they’ll have to face if they make it through the first.  Miz runs his mouth some more, so Teddy adds a third team.  Show finally shuts Miz up before Teddy can make it 4.  Just to recap, Show Miz will face 3 teams in a row (providing they keep winning), and if a team beats them, they get a title shot.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  Morrison and Miz go at it.  So I guess Morrison DID end up with a PPV match after pinning the World Champion clean on Smackdown.  Truth tags in and they double team Miz.  Truth made quite a comeback from being blown up on Raw.  Show tags in and makes Truth his bitch.  Miz beats up Truth a bit.  Truth drops him with a kick.  Show and Morrison tag in.  Show tries a chokeslam off the top, but Morrison locks in a half assed triangle choke and pulls Show across the top rope with it.  R-Truth takes Miz out with a dive.  The ref DQ’s Morrison for refusing to break the hold in 3:14.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Montel Vontavious Porter & Mark Henry.  MVP covers Show for 2.  MVP goes for the Yakuza kick, but Show blocks it and tags in Miz.  MVP and Henry dominate Miz while Show recovers on the outside.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow on Miz, but Show saves.  Henry comes in and gets dropped by Show.  MVP low bridges Show out of the ring and hits the Playmaker on Miz.  He covers, but Show breaks it by completely missing the KO punch.  Miz pins MVP in 1:55.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Bret Hart & Natalya).  The Harts take out Show and hit the springboard Hart Attack on Miz.  Smith pins Miz in 12 seconds.  The Hart Dynasty get a title shot tomorrow night on Raw!

Todd Grisham is in front of the trainer’s room talking about Triple H’s injury.  Sheamus tells Grisham that Triple H can either face him tonight or lose by forfeit.

Barber chair!  Tony Chimel announces the hair match.  The Straight Edge Society comes out.  Thankfully, no long Punk promo tonight.

CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Punk beats up Mysterio to start.  Mysterio fights back, but Punk throws him out of the ring.  Mysterio sends Punk into the side of the ring with a head scissors.  Sweet.  Back inside, Mysterio goes for the 619.  Punk catches him and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Mysterio counters out.  Punk hits a powerslam for 2.  Punk throws Mysterio out of the ring again.  Serena cheap shots Mysterio behind the referee’s back.  Punk beats up Mysterio on the outside.  Back in the ring, Punk hits the Eddie hilo, plays with his hair, and covers for 2.  Punk locks Mysterio in a head scissors.  Punk tries a sunset flip, but of course Mysterio rolls through and kicks Punk in the head for 2.  Gallows cheap shots Mysterio behind the referee’s back.  Punk covers for 2.  Punk hits a backbreaker for 2.  Punk puts Mysterio in a bow & arrow lock.  Mysterio gets out of it and lands on top for 2.  Punk kills Mysterio with a clothesline for 2.  Punk hits some leg drops.  Punk locks Mysterio in the Gory Special.  Punk goes for a powerbomb, but Mysterio counters into a pinning predicament for 2.  Mysterio ranas Punk into the middle turnbuckle, then goes up top.  Punk crotches him, then goes for the Go 2 Sleep again.  Mysterio counters it and goes for the 619 again, but Serena trips him.  Punk drops Mysterio.  The referee ejects Gallows and Serena.  Punk goes outside, upset.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick and a beautiful Asai moonsault.  Back inside, Mysterio covers for 2.  Mysterio catches Punk with a kick for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard Bombs Away and goes for a springboard cross body, but Punk catches him with a dropkick for 2.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk’s starting to unravel.  Mysterio counters another Go 2 Sleep attempt into a Frankensteiner for 2.  Punk kicks Mysterio in the head.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio avoids the knee to the corner and head scissors Punk into 619 position.  Mysterio hits the 619, then a masked person throws a chair into the ring to distract the referee, powerbombs Mysterio off the apron, then hides under the ring.  Punk puts Mysterio back in the ring and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 15:59.  Really good match.  Punk sits in the barber chair and celebrates with Gallows and Serena.

The DRAFT is tomorrow night!

Baltimore!

The National Guard!

Strap Match time!  They show Shad turning on JTG a few weeks ago on Smackdown.

Strap Match: Shad Gaspard vs. JTG.  Lawler says the strategy in a strap match is “You gotta win.”  Shad drops JTG and touches 3 corners before JTG recovers and whips the shit out of him.  JTG touches one corner, then gets cut off.  Shad throws him to the apron, whips him, and JTG falls to the floor.  Shad touches 2 corners, but JTG holds him back with the strap.  JTG pulls Shad across the top rope, then comes back in and hits a diving leg lariat.  JTG touches 2 corners, then gets cut off.  Shad hits a… front drop, then uses the strap to pull JTG’s shoulder into the post.  Shad whips JTG while singing a parody of the Nightmare On Elm Street song.  Shad chokes JTG with the strap and starts touching corners, but JTG touches each one behind him, unbeknownst to Shad.  JTG cuts Shad off before he can touch the 4th, hits the Sling Blade, and touches the 4th corner to win it 4:42.  This was alright for what it was.

KFC Double Down!  I want one of those.

Todd Grisham is still outside the trainer’s room.  Grisham says Triple H has “nerve issues” and “numbness in his hand” and probably won’t be able to wrestle tonight.  That’s wrestling for “He’ll be fine in an hour.”

Orton/Swagger video package.

Extreme Rules Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Jack Swagger (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Swagger does his amateur stuff.  Orton elbows Swagger off of the middle rope and covers for 1.  Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  They go outside.  Orton cuts Swagger off from using a chair and stalks him around the ring.  Swagger bails into the ring and tries to punt Orton on the way in.  Swagger bails to the outside when Orton comes in.  Orton follows and Swagger gets the jump on him.  Swagger sends Orton into the barricade and hits a Northern Lights suplex on the floor, then drives Orton into the barricade (again) and the side of the ring.  Back inside, Swagger covers for 2.  Swagger punishes Orton in the corner, then hits a suplex.  Orton fights back, but Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger hits another suplex, then a backdrop suplex.  Swagger continues beating up Orton.  Swagger brings in the title belt.  My video skips around a bit.  Orton makes a comeback, but gets slammed.  Swagger goes for the springboard Vader Bomb, but Orton hits him in the gut with the belt.  Orton hits a powerslam for 2.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Swagger counters him and throws him out of the ring.  Swagger tries to use a garbage can, but Orton catches it and nails Swagger with it twice.  Orton rams Swagger’s head into the announcers’ table a couple of times, then hits a European uppercut.  Orton whips Swagger into the steps.  Orton stomps Swagger’s head on the steps.  Back in the ring, Orton hits the Garvin Stomp.  Swagger avoids a big knee drop and brings a chair in.  Orton cuts him off and hits the DDT OF MURDER.  Orton humps the mat, then sets up the chair.  Orton sets up the RKO, but Swagger throws Orton onto the chair.  Ouch.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb for the pin.  Pretty good match.  I timed it at 13:46, but that’s not correct due to my video skipping at one point.  At least Swagger won it clean.  Just because they just had the World Champion look good, and that’s a terrible thing, Orton drops Swagger with the RKO outside the ring after the match.

Sheamus comes to the ring and insists that the referee declare him the winner.  They argue.  Cut to Todd Grisham saying that Triple H won’t be able to compete.  Triple H bursts out the door and heads our way as the trainer tells him not to.  Triple H is selling that his arm is limp.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. Triple H.  Triple H tackles Sheamus and punches him on the ground, then clotheslines him out of the ring.  Triple H clotheslines Sheamus from behind on the outside and rams him into the announce table.  Triple H beats up Sheamus all over ringside, then hits the spinebuster back inside.  Triple H goes for the Peidgree, but can’t make it happen because of the limp arm.  Sheamus clotheslines Triple H, who rolls outside.  Sheamus beats up Triple H on the outside, then in the ring.  Sheamus hits a knee drop for 2.  Triple H tries to fight back, but Sheamus clotheslines him for 2.  Sheamus applies a neck/shoulder hold.  Triple H backdrop suplexes Sheamus to escape it and rolls out of the ring.  Sheamus follows and hits a neckbreaker on the floor.  Back inside, Triple H makes his comeback.  Triple H hits a DDT, then sells the injured neck.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus pounds Triple H, then hits a running powerslam for 2.  Sheamus tries to use the pipe, but Triple H cuts him off.  Triple H hits the knee facebuster, then Sheamus whacks Triple H in the head with the pipe for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Triple H counters and backdrops Sheamus out of the ring.  Outside, Sheamus hits Triple H in the gut, then grabs a Singapore cane from under the ring.  Triple H hits a drop toe hold into the steps, then WHACKS Sheamus in the back of the head with the cane.  Triple H wears Sheamus out with the cane, then goes for the Peidgree on the ramp.  Sheamus backdrops him out of it, then hits the pump kick.  Sheamus brings Triple H back to the ring and hits another pump kick but lets Triple H recover.  Triple H does the crotch chop.  Sheamus hits 2 more pump kicks for the pin in 15:50.  It was okay, I guess.  They made it perfectly clear that Sheamus couldn’t only beat Triple H after a hard fought match when Triple H’s arm was paralyzed.  They put a neck brace on Triple H and try to stretcher him out.  Triple H shoves them off and tries to leave on his own, but ends up walking up the ramp with help.  When they reach the ramp, Sheamus hits Triple H with another pump kick.  They stretcher Triple H out.

Over The Limit!

Edge is getting ready for his match.  Josh Matthews comes in and interviews him.

Saliva did the theme song!

There’s lots of ladies’ products at ringside for the Extreme Makeover Match!

Extreme Makeover Match for the WWE Women’s Championship: Michelle McCool (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Layla) vs. Beth Phoenix.  They lock up.  McCool takes the advantage, but Bet hits an awesome reverse cradle out of the corner for 2.  Beth clotheslines McCool for 2.  McCool bails.  Beth follows.  Layla tries to attack Beth with a broom.  Beth grabs the broom to… sweep back Layla and Vickie.  McCool sprays Beth in the face with hair spray, then hits her with an ironing board for 2.  McCool uses the ironing board a bit, then locks Beth in a body scissors.  McCool tries to uses an iron, but the cord gets caught on something and she can’t.  Seriously.  Beth schoolgirls her for 2.  McCool dropkicks the ironing board into Beth for 2.  Way too many puns from the announcers.  McCool goes to fuck with the stuff and the announce table.  Beth baseball slide dropkicks her.  McCool accidentally sprays the hair spray in Vickie and Layla’s faces.  Beth beats up McCool.  Beth hits McCool with a bucket for 2.  An empty bucket.  Beth lays out 2 ironing boards and sets up a superplex.  Vickie and Layla fuck around with a broom and a mop.  McCool knocks Beth off the top for 2.  Beth counters the Styles Clash and hits the Glam Slam for the pin in 6:36.  -***

WrestleMania DVD plug.

The cage is being lowered!

Josh Matthews interviews Chris Jericho.

During Edge’s entrance, they show the recent happenings between these 2 from the last couple of Smackdowns.

Steel Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho.  Jericho stalls, then tries to bring in a chair.  Edge hits a baseball slide dropkick, then beats up Jericho outside a bit.  The finally get in the cage.  Jericho immediately tries to escape, but gets cut off.  Edge beats up Jericho.  Jericho tries to escape again at the first opportunity.  Edge cuts him off and throws him off the top rope.  I should note that Edge is still selling the ankle injury.  Jericho avoids a spear, hits his springboard dropkick to the apron, which sends Edge into the cage.  Brilliant maneuver.  Jericho gets the advantage.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Edge fights out and makes a comeback.  He hits a flapjack, then the Edgecution (or the facebuster variation thereof) for 2.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, misses, and tries to escape again.  Edge cuts him off, but Jericho takes Edge down off the top rope and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Jericho has had a few really good transitions in here.  Edge reaches the ropes, but there’s no rope breaks.  Jericho lets go anyway.  Edge sends Jericho into the cage, then hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Edge goes for the spear, but Jericho avoids it and almost gets out the door.  Fuck, his is a great, great man.  Jericho drags the chair in.  Edge snatches it away from him.  Jericho slings the door into Edge’s face.  Jericho walks down the steps, then reconsiders and comes back in.  No!  Dammit Jericho, you’ve been a genius up until this point.  Jericho grabs the chair.  Edge avoids the chair shot and spears Jericho for 2.  Edge goes to pick up Jericho, who hits the Codebreaker out of nowhere.  Jericho takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho tries to climb out again, but now he’s hurt.  Edge struggles, but makes it to cut him off.  Jericho connects with an elbow and Edge crotches himself on the top rope.  Jericho makes it over the top of the cage, but Edge manages to stop him.  They punch each other on the top of the cage.  Jericho goes down to the top rope and pulls Edge down there too.  Jericho is knocked to the mat, then hits a fucking AWESOME SPRINGBOARD CODEBREAKER!  Jericho again takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho yells at Edge to stay down.  That’s way too common anymore.  Jericho chop blocks Edge’s leg, then yells at him some more.  Jericho swings the chair at Edge’s ankle, but misses.  Edge throws Jericho into the face 3 times.  Jericho tries to escape again.  Edge rams Jericho’s face into the cage to knock him off the top rope.  Jericho crawls for the door as Edge taunts him.  Edge beats up Jericho and slams the cage door into Jericho’s leg.  Edge punishes Jericho’s leg as Jericho begs off and damn near cries.  Edge spears Jericho for the pin in 19:59.  Awesome match.

Don’t Try This At Home!

DRAFT TOMORROW!

Baltimore!

The announcers plug over the limit.

Cena/Batista video package.

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Batista.  They lock up.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Batista bails.  Batista comes back.  Cena goes for another shoulder block, so Batista bails again and brings in a chair.  Cena avoids the shot and bulldogs Batista.  Cena hits the Fisherman suplex.  Batista gets up at around 5 and catches Cena with an elbow.  Batista whips Cena into the corner, then nails a big lariat.  Cena gets up and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Batista gets out and throws Cena into the post.  Batista chop blocks Cena’s leg and works him over.  They brawl outside.  Cena reverses Batista into the steps.  Back inside, Batista locks Cena in the figure-four leglock.  Cena escapes, then they do a double clothesline spot.  Cena gets his second win and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Batista bails and grabs a wrench from under the ring, which he uses to hit Cena in the midsection.  Batista brings in a chair and swings it, but Cena catches him and hits the Attitude Adjustment on the chair.  Batista uses the ref to get up and spears Cena.  Cena gets up at 8 and gets speared again.  Cena makes it up again.  Batista looks under the ring, empties a tool box, and brings in a table.  Batista sets up the table in the corner.  Cena goes for the STF, but Batista kicks him into the table, which breaks.  Cena breaks the count by rolling out of the ring.  Batista rams Cena into the post.  Batista whips Cena through the barricade in front of the time keeper’s position.  Cena makes it to his feet.  Batista tears up the announce table and throws  a monitor at Cole.  Yay!  Batista sets up the steps and tries to set up the powerbomb, but Cena counters and hits the Attitude Adjustment through the announce table!  Batista makes it up at 9.  Cena sets up another table in the ring.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista counters and hits a spinebuster through the table.  Cena makes it up.  Batista hits the Batista Bomb.  Cena makes it up at 9.  Batista brings in the steps.  Cena locks him in the STF.  Batista taps, which is pointless in this match.  Cena lets go and the referee starts counting Batista down.  Batista makes it up.  Cena is getting sick of this shit.  He pulls Dave’s balls into the post, then duck tapes his feet!  The referee counts Batista down at 24:33.  Brilliant finish to a great match, tons better than the awful Mania match.  Cena celebrates as Batista is still tied down.

Really good show.  Only a few matches weren’t actively good, and several were very good.

AWA SuperClash III

Posted in AWA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

Larry Nelson introduces the show.  Lee Marshall joins him.  This a very old video, and not the best quality.  I hope I can get through it.  Marshall and Ray Stevens are the announcers.  Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer.  He introduces various people.  The audio and video are kind of out of sync.  I hope that doesn’t drive me too insane.

Cactus Jack & AWA Southern Tag Team Champions The Rock & Roll RPMs vs. Chavo, Mando, & Hector Guerrero.  Hector does some break dancing, then avoids being doubled teamed by the RPMs.  He takes them over with a headlock/head scissors combo.  Cactus and Mando tag in.  Mando gets a sunset flip, but puts him into the ropes.  Cactus throws some punches and sends Mando out of the ring.  Cactus follows him out and gets backdropped on the concrete.  The Guerreros works Cactus’ leg.  Cactus tags in one of the RPMs.  Chavo takes him over with a head scissors.  The Guerreros do flippy stuff to the RPMs as a clusterfuck ensues.  When I finally figure out which RPM is which, Cactus comes back in and beats up Chavo.  The RPMs and Cactus take turns beating up Chavo.  Hector tags in and dropkicks everybody.  Another clusterfuck ensues.  Mike Davis accidentally clotheslines Tommy Lane.  The Guerreros dispose of the heels.  Chavo pins Lane with a moonsault body block in 6:33.  Fun little opener.

Larry Nelson interviews the POWW Champion Nina (the future Ivory).

WCCW World Light Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Eric Embry.  They lock up.  They break and lock up again.  Repeat.  They trade hammerlocks in a fast and furious fashion.  Repeat.  They counter hip toss attempts, then shove each other.  Jarrett works Embry’s arm.  Embry escapes and drops Jarrett with a lariat.  Embry dodges a cross body, causing Jarrett to take a bump on his shoulder.  Jarrett rolls to the floor and sells it.  Jarrett makes it back in.  Embry attacks the injured shoulder.  Jarrett rallies and hits a missile dropkick, but hurts his shoulder.  Jarrett gets a sunset flip for 2, then a backslide for 2, then an inside cradle for 2, then another sunset flip.  Embry counters it and pins Jarrett with a prawn hold in 4:14.  Fine little match.  Embry regains the title for the fourth time, according to Cappetta.  Lee Marshall interviews Embry.  Embry says he’ll give Jarrett a rematch anytime, then goes to the back to check on his condition.  What a nice guy.

Larry Nelson interviews The Terrorist.

Jimmy Valiant vs. Wayne Bloom.  Bloom jumps Valiant and kicks his ass.  Valiant kicks Bloom’s ass back.  Valiant gets the pin with an elbow drop in 25 seconds.  Whatever.

Larry Nelson interviews some guy and Bambi.  The guy is POWW promoter David McClane.  POWW is a women’s promotion and they’re doing some stupid Lingerie Street Fight Battle Royal.

Verne Gagne has at some point replaced Ray Stevens on commentary.

WCCW Texas Heavyweight Championship Match: Iceman King Parsons (c) vs. Brickhouse Brown.  They shove each other.  Brown grabs a side headlock, then drops Parsons with a shoulder block and a dropkick.  Parsons bails.  Back inside, they lock up.  Brown works a headlock for a couple of hours.  He drops Parsons twice more with shoulder blocks, then hits a fucked up spinning backslide for 2.  Parsons bails again.  Brown works the headlock for another day or so.  Parsons escapes and hits a butt butt.  Parsons hits a weak clothesline for 2.  Parsons hits a suplex for 2.  Brown hits a cross body for 2.  Parsons knocks Brown down with some punches for 2.  He argues with the ref.  Trust me, Iceman, I wish this match was over, too.  Parsons tries a piledriver, but fails and gets backdropped.  Brown makes his comeback.  Parsons begs off.  Brown puts the boots to him in the corner, then beats him up some more.  Brown hits a half assed cross body and covers.  He thinks he got the pin, but Parsons’ foot was on the ropes.  Parsons punches Brown with and gets the pin in 5:42.  This sucked.  Marshall interviews Parsons.  Ugh.

Larry Nelson interviews Brandi Mae and Pocahontas.  This whole stupid match is about the Terrorist ripping up Brandi’s shorts.  Pocohantas promises to war dance tonight.  That David guy strikes me as a sleaze ball.

There’s some kind of convoluted six-person tag.  Cappetta says the titles are on the the line, so whatever.  Diamond Dallas Page interrupts the ring announcing.  Whatever, let’s just get this over with.

AWA World Tag Team Championship & AWA World Women’s Championship Match: Badd Company (c) & Madusa Miceli (w/ Diamond Dallas Page) vs. The Top Guns & Wendi Richter (c).  Everybody brawls.  The faces whip the heels into each other.  The Top Guns double team Pat Tanaka.  Dukes works over Tanaka.  Diamond tags in and beats up Dukes.  Diamond misses Dukes in the corner.  Richter tags in and tries to pull Madusa in the ring.  Madusa pulls across the top rope, then comes in the ring and beats her up.  Richter fights back and throws her around.  Richter missed a dropkick.  Richter hits a powerbomb, but Diamond saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Tanaka savate kicks Richter, then accidentally kicks Madusa.  Richter pins Madusa in 5:44.  The Top Guns spank Madusa.  The Top Guns are announced as the World Tag Team Champions, but history says otherwise.  I don’t know what the fuck happened there, and I don’t care.  The heels bitch at Lee Marshall.  Madusa slaps Tanaka and Page.  Badd Company and Page yell abuse at Madusa after she leaves and call her a bimbo.

Lee Marshall interviews WCCW World Heavyweight Champion Kerry Von Erich, with his young daughter Holly.  He says he’ll prove tonight that he’s the one and only World Heavyweight Champion.

AWA International Television Championship Match: Ron Garvin vs. Greg Gagne.  Stevens is back on commentary now.  Make up your minds!  The title is held up.  They lock up.  Garvin beats up Gagne.  Yay!  Gagne beats up Garvin.  Boo!  Garvin beats up Gagne some more.  Gagne back body drops Garvin for 2.  Gagne works Garvin’s arm.  Garvin fights back and beats up Gagne.  Garvin gets an inside cradle for 2.  I swear it sounds like Marshall keeps calling him “Garmin.”  They end up stuck on the ropes for a minute, then Garvin beats up Gagne on the outside.  Gagne makes it back inside and wins by count-out in 5:52.  Garvin puts Gagne in a sleeper.  Gagne escapes and puts Garvin in a sleeper.  THE FUCKING MATCH IS OVER, STOP TORTURING ME!  Gagne wins the vacant title.  This sucked.  A lot.  Marshall interviews Gagne.  I don’t care.

Still to come, the stupid 80’s eye candy match.

Larry Nelson interviews Verne Gagne.  Diamond Dallas Page interrupts.  He leaves, and Verne keeps talking.  Fuck.  And there are a lot of matches still to come.  Double fuck.

They a clip of a Jerry Lawler/Kerry Von Erich match from Memphis.

Nelson interviews the AWA World Heavyweight Champion, Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Cappetta introduces that annoying sleazy David McLane to do the ring announcing for the stupid women’s match.

Beverly Hills Lingerie Street Fight Battle Royal featuring Laurie Lynn, Luna Vachon, Peggy Lee Leather, Pali the Syrian Terrorist, Malibu, Bambi, Pocahontas, Brandi Mae, and POWW Champion Nina.  They fight.  It sucks.  They’re all in street clothes.  People get eliminated.  It comes down to Pali and Brandi Mae.  They fight horribly.  Brandi rips a Pali’s weird leotard thing.  Pali chokes Brandi with her stockings or something.  Fuck, I want this to end.  Pali eliminates Brandi and wins after a horribly long 8:33.  It was terrible.  Pali talks, then Marshall interviews her so she can talk some more.

Larry Nelson interviews Peggy Lee Leather.  Luna interrupts and cuts a weird promo.  This segment sucks too.

Lee Marshall puts over random people.  He talks to PWI Editor Bill Apter.  Apter is going to present an award to Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Larry Nelson interviews Sergeant Slaughter.

Boot Camp Match: Colonel DeBeers (w/ Diamond Dallas Page) vs. Sergeant Slaughter.  Sarge beats the shit out of DeBeers to start.  I didn’t hear an opening bell.  Maybe they don’t need one, since this is anything goes.  I don’t know.  DeBeers gets the shit beat out of him, then chokes Sarge with something.  Sarge stops being choked and beats up DeBeers some more.  They fight outside.  Page steals Sarge’s combat helmet.  DeBeers hits Slaughter with one of the things that they string a rope in that I guess does service for a guardrail here.  Page gives DeBeers Sarge’s helmet.  Page holds Sarge for DeBeers to hit.  Sarge ducks and Page gets knocked off of the apron.  Sarge makes a comeback and takes his helmet back.  Sarge headbutts DeBeers with the helmet a bunch of times.  Sarge hits a clothesline (the Slaughter Cannon), then locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Sarge wins by submission in about 6 minutes.  Sheik Adnan El Kaissey runs and The Iron Sheik run in and they all beat up Sarge.  The Guerreros make the save!  Sarge takes a swing at Chavo.  That dick.  Sarge goes after the Iron Sheik.  Shit eventually calms down and Marshall interviews Slaughter.  This match sucked.  Sarge recites the pledge of allegiance.

Larry Nelson is with Bill Apter and Jerry Lawler.  Apter presents Lawler with the Most Inspirational Wrestler of the Year Award.

WCCW World Tag Team Championship Match: The Samoan Swat Team (c) (w/ Buddy Roberts) vs. Michael Hayes & Steve Cox.  Samu and Hayes lock up.  They hammer each other in the corner.  Hayes whips Samu into Cox’s boot.  Cox tags in and twists Samu’s arm.  Fatu runs in and nails Cox, but Cox doesn’t let go.  Hayes runs over and knocks Fatu off of the apron.  Cox avoids a cross body and hits an arm drag on Samu, then cranks on the arm again.  Samu accidentally clocks Fatu and knocks him off the apron again.  The exact same thing happens again a minute later.  The SST finally manage to get heat on Cox.  Fatu puts him in a nerve hold.  Cox hits the ropes and knocks Samu off the apron, then he and Fatu clothesline each other.  Hayes gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Cox takes out Samu with a dive to the outside.  Hayes hits a DDT on Fatu.  Roberts comes in behind the referee’s back and hits Hayes in the back of the head with something, allowing Fatu to get the pin in 7:53.  Decent enough match.

Larry Nelson interviews the Iron Sheik and Sheik Adnan El Kaissey.

Prior to the strap match, Cappetta introduces a special guest, the IWGP Heavyweight Champion, Tatsumi Fujinami!  Fernandez bad mouths Fujinami.  Fujinami holds Fernandez to let Wahoo nail him!

Indian Strap Match: Manny Fernandez vs. Wahoo McDaniel.  Wahoo whips Manny’s hand with the strap.  Ouch.  Wahoo shows his expertise with the strap, using it to snapmare Fernandez, then choke him, then whip him.  Fernandez gets the advantage and beats up Wahoo.  Wahoo is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Manny touches one corner before Wahoo cuts him off.  They trade chops.  Manny gets BUSTED WIDE OPEN as well.  Wahoo beats him up.  Wahoo touches 3 corners before Manny manages to cut him off.  Fernandez hits a diving knee drop.  Manny goes up top, stupidly, and Wahoo pulls him off by the strap, predictably.  Wahoo touches 3 corners.  Manny kicks him into the 4th corner to give Wahoo the win in 7:49.  Manny keeps beating on Wahoo, but Fujinami makes the save!  Lee Marshall interviews Wahoo.

Larry Nelson interviews Verne Gagne and AWA President Stanley Blackburn.

Al Lerner (who?) is the guest ring announcer for the main event.  Lawler and Von Erich both cut promos before the match.

Title Unification Match: AWA World Heavyweight Champion Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. WCCW World Heavyweight Champion “The Modern Day Warrior” Kerry Von Erich.  Lawler plays chickenshit to start.  Lawler rams Von Erich’s arm into the top turnbuckle to “bust it open” (Kerry had cut his arm open before the match because he was coked up or something).  They lock up.  Von Erich hits Lawler with a punch that sends him ass over teakettle.  Kerry hits Lawler with a vicious clothesline.  Repeat.  They lock up again.  Lawler avoids a clothesline… but gets clotheslined again anyway.  WCCW booker Frank Dusek is at ringside.  Kerry wants a test of strength.  Lawler stupidly obliges.  Kerry hits a discus lariat for a pair of 2 counts.  They roll around on the mat.  Lawler hits Von Erich with some great punches and knocks him out of the ring.  Kerry goes for a slingshot splash, but Lawler catches him with his knees.  Lawler hits a piledriver.  Kerry no sells it.  Lawler struts around and turns around into a tornado punch.  Kerry covers for 2.  Kerry goes for the Claw, but Lawler fights it.  Lawler avoids a knee drop.  Lawler gets a cover, but Kerry throws him on top of the referee.  Kerry hits a piledriver, but by the time the referee wakes up, Lawler manages to kick out at 2.  Kerry beats up Lawler some more.  Kerry goes for a tornado punch outside, but Lawler ducks and Kerry punches the post.  Lawler pulls an object out of his tights and hits Von Erich with it, then hits a diving fist drop.  Lawler hits another fist drop, then another diving one with his object.  Kerry catches him with the Claw to the stomach.  Kerry is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Kerry shifts the Claw to Lawler’s forehead.  Lawler gets a rope break.  Kerry puts the Claw back on.  They get up.  Lawler avoids Kerry in the corner and Kerry hits the turnbuckles.  Kerry punches Lawler some.  Lawler hits Kerry with his object again.  Frank Dusek yells.  It’s No DQ, so quit your bitching!  Lawler punches Kerry’s blood forehead.  Lawler goes into his Muhammad Ali routine and hits Kerry with a bunch of jabs.  Lawler punches Kerry with his object again.  Kerry falls out of the ring, where Dusek checks on him.  Kerry comes back in.  The referee checks the cut.  Lawler punches him again.  They trade punches.  Kerry beats up Lawler.  The punch each other down.  Kerry covers for 2, then applies the Claw again.  Lawler gets his shoulder up repeatedly.  The referee stops it due to Kerry’s blood loss at 18:53.  Lawler is awarded the match, despite being down and out.  Dusek bitches at the referee.  Kerry leaves with the belts.  Lawler did what he could to hold the match together, but it wasn’t very good.  Lawler is announced as the winner, despite the fact that Kerry stole the belts, presumably to buy more coke.  Marshall interviews Lawler after the match.

Larry Nelson interviews the bloody mess that is Kerry Von Erich.  They show clips of the match.  Stanley Blackburn defends the referee’s decision.

The Stud Stable (w/ Sylvia) vs. The Rock & Roll Express.  Ricky Morton and Jimmy Golden start.  Morton hits an arm drag.  Robert Fuller comes in and gets arm dragged, too.  Robert Gibson comes in and everybody brawls.  Studs bail.  Morton holds Golden in a front face lock for a bit.  Everybody ends up in the ring fighting again.  Studs bail again.  Gibson and Fuller run the ropes.  Golden knees Gibson in the back from the apron.  Fuller sends Gibson out of the ring.  Sylvia whacks Gibson with her big stick.  Studs beat up Gibson.  Gibson gets thrown out and beaten with the stick again.  Golden puts Gibson in an abdominal stretch, using the ropers for leverage.  Gibson gets free.  Morton tags in and half assed runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues again.  R&R hit a double dropkick on one of them.  They all brawl, leading to a double DQ in 7:03.  Whatever.  Marshall interviews the Rock & Roll Express.

Larry Nelson interviews the Stud Stable.

Lee Marshall interviews Verne Gagne at ringside.

And finally this horrible fucking show ends.  Aside from a couple of good short matches at the beginning, this show sucked in pretty much every way.

NWA Starrcade 1986: Night of the Skywalkers

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2010 by Grappleholic

Not even a warm up, as this goes straight to the first match.

Jimmy Garvin (w/ Precious) vs. Brad Armstrong.  Tony Schiavone does ring announcing.  He and some other guy I’ll hopefully figure out later on commentary.  Garvin and Armstrong lock up aggressively.  The referee’s name is either Scrappy or Slappy.  They don’t do anything of note.  They trade hammerlocks and wrestle a bit.  The referee’s name is Scrappy McAllen.  That’s hilarious.  Garvin milks a hold for a while.  Armstrong fights out and locks in an ARMBAR!  Garvin counters and locks in a head scissors.  They go back and forth.  Armstrong ends up back in the head scissors.  Armstrong eventually fights out and locks in a side headlock.  Garvin rolls into a pinning predicament and gets the pin, I think, but the referee caught him holding Armstrong’s trunks, so the match continues.  Garvin finally escapes the headlock with a backdrop suplex.  Eventual cover gets 2.  Garvin throws Armstrong out of the ring.  Precious yells at Armstrong.  Garvin kicks Armstrong in the head from in the ring.  Repeat.  Armstrong makes it back in and Garvin hit shots him into the ropes for 2.  Second cover gets 2.  Garvin hits a backbreaker for 2.  Garvin picks Armstrong up, but Armstrong lands on top for 2.  Armstrong charges Garvin in the corner and gets kneed in the face for 2.  Another cover gets 2.  Garvin uses a chin lock.  Armstrong escapes.  Garvin gets an inside cradle for 2.  Armstrong reverses it for 2.  Garvin slams Armstrong and goes up top, but misses a diving splash.  It’s a 15:00 draw at 15:08.  They keep fighting, but Armstrong eventually runs Garvin off.  Very meh match, way too long and uninteresting.

I already tell this is going to be an ordeal because that match was lame, and because my video isn’t the best quality and the audio is a little out of sync, which annoys me to no end.

Tom Miller is the ring announcer now.

The Barbarian & Shaska Whatley vs. Baron Von Raschke & Hector Guerrero.  This has to be another 2 location show, as Bob Caudle and Johnny Weaver are on commentary now.  All four brawl to start.  Hector and Whatley have a fine exchange.  Barbarian tags in and goes at it with Guerrero.  Hector avoids a clothesline.  Raschke holds Barbarian for Hector to hit a dive.  Hector and Whatley brawl outside.  Barbarian sends Hector into the barricade.  The heels work over Hector.  He does a great face in peril.  Hector spits in Whatley’s face and makes the hot tag.  Baron Von Raschke runs wild!  Claw hold to Whatley.  Barbarian saves.  Hector comes in and cleans his clock.  Baron avoids Whatley in the corner and drops an elbow for the pin in 6:29.  Decent stuff.  The heels beat down Rascke after the match until Hector makes it back in for the save.

No DQ Match for the NWA United States Tag Team Championship: Ivan Koloff & Krusher Khruschev (c) vs. The Kansas Jayhawks.  Koloff and Mantel start.  It’s… oddly kind of awesome.  Jayhawks make quick tags and work over Koloff in the early going.  Scrappy McAllen is the referee again!  Wooo!  Krusher tags in and beats up Mantel.  Dutch fights back and challenges Koloff to come in the ring while Jaggers chokes Koloff.  The Jayhawks take turns working over Krusher.  Ivan tags in and gets beat up some more.  Dutch gets the first near fall of the match on Ivan.  The Russians start to get heat on Dutch, beginning with Krusher beating him up on the outside.  Dutch plays face in peril.  Geeze ref, it’s no DQ, stop getting in the way of Jaggers trying to come in.  Dutch clotheslines the Russians and tags in Jaggers, who runs wild.  Clothesline on Koloff, but Krusher saves.  Ivan and Dutch brawl outside.  Ivan tries to come off the top with the chain onto Jaggers, but Dutch makes the save with a bull whip.  Dutch and Krusher brawl outside.  Krusher hits Jaggers with the chain, allowing Ivan to get the pin in 7:52.  This was fine.

Indian Strap Match: Rick Rude (w/ Paul Jones & Paul Jones’ bitchin’ mustache) vs. Wahoo McDaniel.  After some pre-match shenanigans, the match starts.  Wahoo whips Rude.  Repeat.  Rude hits some forearms.  Wahoo whips him, then hammers him down.  Usual strap match shit.  Rude beats up Wahoo.  Rude slams Wahoo, touches 2 corners, then gets cut off.  Wahoo beats up Rude.  Wahoo touches 3 corners, then gets cut off by Rude.  Rude stupidly goes up top and Wahoo yanks him off with the strap.  Wahoo touches 3 corners.  Jones tries to interfere and gets chopped.  Rude pushes Wahoo into the 4th corner for the win in about 8 minutes.  By the time the bell rings it’s an official 9:08.  Rude and Jones attack Wahoo, but Hector Guerrero and Baron Von Raschke make the save.  Next!

NWA Central States Heavyweight Championship Match: Sam Houston (c) vs. Bill Dundee.  Tony finally names his co-commentator, Rick Stewart.  Houston and Dundee go at it with some aggressive wrestling to start.  Houston does the side headlock rolled into a pinning predicament spot that I always mark out for.  Houston with a nice head scissors takedown.  Dundee takes Houston down  and works his arm a bit.  Houston fights back.  Really good simple wrestling here.  Houston goes for his bulldog headlock, fails, reverse cradle for 2.  Houston gets taken to the outside and Dundee beats on him.  Houston comes back with an atomic drop that catapults Dundee over the barricade.  Houston slingshots Dundee back into the ring and covers for 2.  Dundee kicks Houston in the face and hits a diving splash (or a diving punch?) for 2.  Dundee with a rear chin lock.  Dundee punches Houston a few times, then struts, the covers for 2.  Dundee locks Houston in a crab hold.  Houston powers out.  They roll into the ropes.  Dundee chokes Houston in the ropes.  Dundee throws Houston out of the ring.  Dundee with a front facelock on the mat.  Houston fights out and makes a fiery comeback.  Houston slams Dundee, then fails a knee drop.  Dundee attacks the knee viciously.  Houston’s boot comes off somehow and Dundee whacks him with it for the DQ in 10:22.  This was pretty good.

Hair vs. Hair Match: Paul Jones (w/ Manny Fernandez) vs. Jimmy Valiant (w/ Big Mama).  It’s Jones’ hair vs. Mama’s hair.  Also, it’s a different Big Mama than the one last year.  Also, Manny will be suspended above the ring in a cage.  The referee can’t get Manny to go into the cage.  More babyfaces come out to try to make him.  Manny fights off Nelson Royal, Tim Horner, and Baron Von Raschke, then Wahoo comes out and decks him, forcing him into the cage.  Jones tries to hold into the cage as it is raised.  The match finally start.  Valiant beats up Jones.  Kids, this is what wrestlers looked like before the emphasis was placed on having good bodies.  Jones takes a foreign object out of his tights and decks Valiant, but stupidly doesn’t cover.  Valiant is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Eventual cover gets 2.  Jones drops Valiant and covers again, but Valiant gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Jones goes to stomp it and hurts his leg.  Jones hits him with the object again for 2.  Jones goes for the Indian Death Lock, but gets countered.  Valiant makes his comeback and locks Jones in the sleeper hold.  Valiant gets hold on Jones’ object and hits him with it, then gets the pin in 4:28 (official.  Fuck they take forever to ring the closing bell.).  Valiant shaves Jones’ head.  Manny Fernandez is released from the cage and attacks Valiant.  Rick Rude comes out to join the beatdown.  They hit a swank elevated DDT that some tag team should adopt as a finish on Valiant and onto a steel chair.  Raschke and Wahoo come out to check on Valiant.  Too little, too late, guys.

Louisville Street Fight: Ron Garvin vs. Big Bubba Rogers (w/ Jim Cornette).  Tommy Young is the referee!  Garvin punches Bubba to no effect.  He punches him some more and finally drops him.  Bubba rolls out of the ring to hear some advince from Cornette.  Garvin punches Bubba some more.  For some reason everytime I go to type “Garvin” I accidentally type “Garven” first.  That makes absolutely no sense.  Anyway, Garin beats up Bubba some more.  Bubba finally manages to get some offense going.  Garvin pulls a good length rope out of his boots, chokes Bubba, tries to hog tie him, beats him, ties him to the top rope and bites him.  Bubba fights back, but he looks winded.  Bear hug by Bubba.  Garvin headbutts his way free.  Bubba bear hugs him again.  Garvin headbutts his way free again.  Garvin throws some punches and knocks Bubba out of the ring.  Bubba comes back in and Garvin punches on him some more.  Bubba falls out of the ring again.  Garvin follows him out and they brawl.  Back inside, Bubba goes up top!  Garvin throws him off Flair-style and covers, but Bubba throws Garvin on top of the referee.  Garvin hits a DANGEROUS looking piledriver.  Cornette whacks Garvin with the tennis racket.  The referee counts them both down for the double KO… but there MUST be a winner!  So, the first man to his feet will be the winner.  Cornette comes in to try to help Bubba up.  Young shoves him out of the ring.  Bubba grabs the referee as Garvin gets up.  Cornette hits Garvin with the tennis racket again and drops him.  Bubba gets to his feet for the win in 11:52.  This was fun in some parts.

First Blood Match for the NWA World Television Championship: Dusty Rhodes (c) vs. Tully Blanchard (w/ JJ Dillon).  No opening bell that I heard.  Also, Dillon goes from behind fine to randomly having his head covered in blood at ringside.  What’s up with that?  They both try to protect themselves from getting punched in the face.  Blanchard backs off every time Dusty cocks his elbow.  They go a little bit.  Dusty poises to punch Blanchard in the face and Blanchard bails.  Dusty headbutts Blanchard in the face.  Hey, Earl Hebner is the referee!  Anyway, they brawl a bit.  Dusty works Tully’s leg, which strikes me as a stupid strategy in a first blood match.  Blanchard rips at Dusty’s forehead.  Dusty stomps Blanchard’s face.  Dusty accidentally elbows the referee.  Hebner gets up and Dusty suplexes Blanchard on top of him.  Dusty throws Dillon’s shoe (which I guess Dillon threw to Tully) away and hits some bionic elbows.  Blanchard is bleeding, but the referee is still down.  Dillon wipes off Blanchard’s forehead and rubs Vaseline on it.  Blanchard hits Dusty with a roll of coins.  The referee wakes up to see Rhodes bleeding and awards the match to Blanchard in about 8 minutes.  Still more meh on this show.

Copy & Pasted from the Starrcade: The Essential Collection DVD review, slightly edited:

Scaffold Match: The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers).  The Road Warriors wait at the top during the ring intros.  Loverboy Dennis Condrey teases climbing up, but chickens out.  MX finally does come up.  The bell rings and the Road Warriors kick ass.  Condrey throws powder in Hawk’s eyes.  Eaton does the same to Animal.  They fight on top of the scaffold.  That sentence will cover the rest of the match until someone takes a stupid, unnecessary bump.  Condrey falls, then Eaton, to give the Road Warriors the win at 7:08.  Ellering takes Cornette’s tennis racket.  Cornette climbs the scaffold to escape and runs right into Animal.  Cornette falls and blows out his knees.

Steel Cage Match for the NWA World Tag Team Championship: The Rock & Roll Express (c) vs. Ole & Arn Anderson.  Ole and Gibson lock up.  Gibson ducks a blow and throws some punches.  Arn tags in.  All 4 brawl for a minute.  The referee sends Gibson out and the Andersons beat up Gibson a bit.  Gibson fires back in Arn.  Ole tags in and brawls with Gibson.  Morton tags in and beats up Ole.  Arn tags back in and goes at it with Morton.  Gibson tags in and gets beat up by the Andersons.  Gibson avoids a figure-four by kicking Arn face first into the cage.  Ole tags in and stomps on Gibson as he tries to make it to his corner.  Gibson gets beat up, then makes the tag to Morton, who runs wild for about a second until Ole rams into the cage a couple of times.  Morton gets his ass stomped by the Andersons for a while.  Morton is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  The complete destruction of Ricky Morton continues for several minutes.  Arn hits the spinebuster on Morton for the sure pin, but Gibson saves!  Ole tags in and Arn holds Morton for Ole to come off the top with a knee to the arm.  Ole has been working the shit out of that arm, and goes back to it now.  Man, Ricky got SO close to make the tag that time, but Ole cut him off at the last possible second.  Morton fires some punches at Ole, then gets him in an inside cradle, but Arm saves.  Robert comes in and goes after Arn.  Ole picks up Morton for a slam, but Gibson dropkicks him and Morton gets the pin in Ole in 19:03.  Really good formula tag match here.  The R&R escape the cage before they can get their asses kicked too much more.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Ric Flair (c) vs. NWA United States Heavyweight Champion Nikita Koloff.  Tommy Young is the referee!  They lock up.  Koloff over powers Flair.  Repeated.  Flair bails.  Flair foolishly gets into a test of strength, fails that, and throws some hard chops at Nikita.  Nikita no sells, which scares Flair into bailing again.  Nikita overpowers Flair again.  Flair yells that he’s going to kick Nikita’s ass.  Hah.  Nikita hip tosses Flair.  They lock up again, and Nikita hip tosses Flair again, then slams him.  Twice.  Big slams, too.  Less body slam, more throwing Flair halfway across the ring.  Flair tries a shoulder block, fails, and gets bear hugged.  Nikita turns the bear hug into a pinning predicament for a pair of 2 counts.  Neat.  Flair avoids Nikita in the corner and hits a big vertical suplex.  Nikita springs up and Flair begs off, then bails again.  Back inside, Nikita grabs a side headlock.  Flair backs him into the ropes and beats on him some.  Nikita goes the Russian Hammer (chokeslam without the slam).  Young makes him break the choke.  Flair avoids Nikita and Nikita goes over the top rope.  Flair wraps Nikita’s leg around the ring post, then chop blocks the leg back inside.  Flair continues working the leg and locks in the figure-four leglock, using the ropes behind the referee’s back.  Flair eventually breaks it and beats up Nikita some more.  Flair throws chops, which seem to just piss Nikita off.  Flair sends Nikita out of the ring.  Flair rams Nikita into the scaffold and busts him open.  Back inside, Flair hits a knee drop for 2, but Nikita kicks out emphatically.  Flair hits a backdrop suplex for 2, another emphatic kick out.  Flair punches Nikita in the forehead, presumably to make him bleed worse.  Nikita gets pissed and makes a comeback.  He tosses Flair around.  Flair begs off, but Nikita whips him into the corner.  Flair flips out and Nikita goes after him.  Nikita counters Flair and rams his face into the scaffold.  Flair finally makes it back inside.  He and Nikita trade blows.  Flair flops face first into the mat.  Nikita hits a shoulder block and Flair bounces into Tommy Young, sending him out of the ring.  Nikita kills Flair with a clothesline.  Cover, but there’s no referee.  Referee Scrappy McAllen is back to check on Tommy Young.  Flair catches Nikita with a knee to the back and Scrappy makes a 2 count.  Is his name McAllen or McGowen?  I can’t tell.  It’s a moot point, as Nikita accidentally murders him with a clothesline.  Tommy Young makes it back inside.  He tries to force Nikita to break in the corner.  Nikita shoves him twice, so Young calls for the DQ in 19:23.  They keep brawling.  Nikita kills everyone who runs in.  All of the heels run in and gang up on him.  The babyfaces run in to make the save.  The official decision is a double DQ.  The match was pretty good.  Flair and Nikita fight some more, but it’s eventually broken up.  Replays of the wild clusterfuck at the end.

End credits.

The show was alright in some places, very boring in others.  I guess I’ll give it a thumbs in the middle.