Archive for Scott Stanford

WWE Superstars 3/31/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barreta.  Hawkins grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Barreta does drop down, leap frog, elbow smash.  Cover gets 2.  Hawkins backs Barreta into the corner and slaps him.  Barreta gets pissed and fires back.  Hawkins slides under the ropes and trips Barreta in the process, then pulls him to the floor.  Back inside, Hawkins puts a beating on Barreta.  Barreta tries to rally, beat eats a clothesline.  Cover gets 2.  Barreta fights out of a hold, flips out of a backdrop suplex, and hits Hawkins with an enzuigiri.  Hawkins falls to the floor.  Barreta hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Back inside, Barreta hits a springboard dropkick for 2.  Hawkins counters the tornado DDT and hits a body slam for 2.  Barreta counters a move and hits the tornado DDT for the pin in 5:20.  Fine little match.

Tonight, six-woman tag match.  Ugh.

WWE.com plug.

Josh Matthews and Scott Stanford are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Awesome Undertaker/Triple H hype video.

Snooki hype video leading to the horrible Snooki & Trish/LayCool bar fight from Raw.

Edge/Alberto Del Rio hype video.

WWE Champion The Miz on Conan O’Brian.

Raw Rebound.

Divas tag match next.  Ugh again.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Melina & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Natalya, & Gail Kim.  One of the Bellas beats up Natalya.  Natalya hits a snap suplex and a basement dropkick for 2.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but the Bella reaches the ropes.  Natalya pulls her up and down for 2.  Melina tags in and gets slammed by Natalya.  Gail tags in.  Natalya throws her on top of Melina for 2.  Melina misses the splits and eats a basement dropkick.  Gail beats up Melina for a bit.  Gail tries to springboard, but Melina pulls her down across the top rope.  Gail gets caught in the heel corner and they get the heat on her.  Melina goes for the Code Red, but Gail counters it.  Gail plants Melina with a powerbomb.  Eve gets the hot tag and runs wild until Melina low bridges her out of the ring.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Bellas pull the switcheroo.  Eve goes for her neckbreaker drop, but the Bella hits her with an X Factor for the pin in 6:24.  There ya go.

The opener was fun, at least.

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WWE Monday Night Raw 3/28/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

CM Punk is sitting Indian style in the ring.  We’re LIVE from Chicago.  He cuts a promo about Randy Orton.  He blames the New Nexus for their own misfortunes.  They show Punk’s attack on Orton at Orton’s bus last week.  He says he’ll close this chapter at Mania.  Randy Orton limps out with his knee taped up.  They brawl.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat despite his injured knee.  Orton goes for the punt, but his knee gives out and Punk escapes.  He realizes that this would be a good time to take advantage of a wounded opponent and returns to the ring to taunt him, then kicks him in the injured knee.  Punk delivers the Go 2 Sleep.

Tonight, The Undertaker and Triple H will face off!  So will John Cena, The Miz, and The Rock.

Edge and Christian meet up backstage.  Edge talks about the stupidity of Teddy Long saying he can’t touch Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown, but the iBooker says he can.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio from Smackdown.

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio & Brodus Clay.  Del Rio & Clay are of course introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.  Edge and Clay start.  Clay is awesome at beating and being beaten.  Edge and Christian make quick tags and try to work Clay’s arm over.  They bundle him out of the ring and Christian gos for a dive.  Clay catches him, but Edge knocks him down with a baseball slide dropkick.  Commercials.  Del Rio works Christian’s arm, having gained the advantage during the break.  Del Rio and Clay keep the heat going on Christian.  Edge gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Edge goes for the spear on Clay, but Del Rio trips him from the outside.  Christian attacks Del Rio, who whips him into the barricade.  Edge spears Clay for the pin in 8:15.  The match was fine.  Del Rio puts Christian in the cross armbreaker in the aisle.  Edge chases Del Rio out of the building.  Edge goes back to check on Christian.  Del Rio attacks him from behind and puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Trish Stratus and Snooki are in a bar in New Jersey.  Commercials.

Sin Cara vignette.

Chicago!

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are backstage with an upside down WWE logo.

The iBooker dings in.  Lawler believes this will be a good chance to fuck with Cole, but Cole, who routinely leaves the Cole Mine, now stays securely inside and reads the e-mail from his iPad.  Cole announcers Lawler vs. Jack Swagger for tonight.

Awesome Undertaker/Triple H hype video.  They’ll face off tonight!  Commercials!

WrestleMania Week events list.

WWE Tag Team Champion Justin Gabriel (w/ WWE Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett, WWE Tag Team Champion Heath Slater, & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Santino Marella (w/ The Big Show, Kane, Vladimir Kozlov, & Tamina).  These guys will have an 8-man tag at Mania.  They lock up and wrestle a bit.  Slater distracts Santino.  Gabriel lands a spin kick for 2.  Gabriel cranks on Santino’s arm.  Santino throws him off and makes his comeback.  Santino frighters Slater with the Cobra.  Kane decks Slater.  Kozlov trips Gabriel behind the referee’s back.  Show and Kane take out the rest of the Corre at ringside.  Santino hits the Cobra for the pin in 1:52.  There ya go.  All of the babyfaces celebrate jovially.

Plug for WWE All Stars, a very silly looking game.

Triple H is headed our way!  Commercials.

Keri Hilson will perform America The Beautiful at WrestleMania.  Never heard of her.

The Undertaker comes out.  So does Triple H.  So does Shawn Michaels.  Michaels apologizes for interrupting, then proceeds to hype up the match.  Michaels is mad that Triple H thinks he can do what Michaels couldn’t.  Triple H says Michaels has gone soft.  He talks about Undertaker’s dedication and says that’s why he chose to pattern himself after Taker.  Triple H has this really great bit about how he and Shawn made a pact to tell each other when it was time to leave, and now he’s telling Taker it’s time for him to leave out of respect.  Taker says if he ever needed someone to put him down, he’d want it to be Triple H, but it’s not time for that yet.  He says he and the streak will both survive Mania.  Taker talks about how Michaels failed twice despite his greatness and that is now humbled.  He sort of shoves Michaels.  Michaels goes for the superkick.  Undertaker catches it and goes for the chokeslam.  Triple H breaks it up and stares down Taker.  He tells Shawn to tell Taker why he will beat him at Mania.  Shawn leaves instead.  Triple H calls out to him.  Shawn looks back and says “You can’t win.”  Taker tips his hat to Triple H and leaves.  Fucking great segment.

Tonight a face off between Cena, Rock, and Miz that won’t be in the same universe as the one we just saw.  Commercials.

Jack Swagger (w/ Michael Cole) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  Lawler comes out to new music that sucks compared to the music he’s always used in WWE.  Cole gets on the apron.  Lawler lunges for him.  Swagger jumps Cole and beats him up.  Swagger sends Lawler outside and throws him over the barricade so he can pose uninterrupted.  Lawler clocks Swagger with a chair to cause the DQ in 1:16, then several more times to boot.  He goes after Cole, who hides in the Cole Mine, so Lawler hits the Cole Mine, then tries to climb into it.  He’s held back by Cole’s security.  Cole throws liquid on him, then talks shit from the safety of his box.

Tonight, Cena/Rock/Miz stuff.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: John Morrison & Trish Stratus vs. Dolph Ziggler, LayCool, & Vickie Guerrero from last week, where Morrison did the job for Vickie Guerrero.  Yes.  That happened.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be obnoxious and do John Morrison poses.  I fast forward through her screaming with her nails on a chalkboard voice.

WWE United States Champion Sheamus & Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. John Morrison & Daniel Bryan.  Sheamus beats up Morrison.  One of Morrison’s best roles is getting his ass kicked by Sheamus.  Morrison decks Ziggler on the apron.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for 2.  Commercials.  Morrison continues playing face in peril.  Bryan tags in and locks Ziggler in the LeBell Lock.  Sheamus kicks Bryan in the back of the head, then tags in and kills Bryan with a Polish Hammer.  Morrison saves.  Ziggler accosts Morrison and gets dropped with a Pele Kick.  Sheamus sends Morrison outside.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock.  Sheamus counters, then avoids Bryan in the corner and hits the Razor’s Edge for the pin in 6:15.  What the showed of it was pretty fun.

Earlier tonight, stuff went down between Randy Orton and CM Punk.

Randy Orton ices his injured knee backstage.  Scott Stanford asks him if he’ll make it to Mania.  He says he’ll make it there, but Punk won’t make it out.

Tonight, Cena/Rock/Miz stuff.  Commercials.

Chicago!

New Hall of Fame inductee: The Road Warriors!

Trish Stratus and Snooki TAPED via satellite.  Pretty sure Snooki is drunk.  Some Jersey tard hits on them.  Snooki slaps him.  LayCool show up.  Snooki throws a drink in Layla.  They brawl.

Cena/Rock/Miz next.  Commercials.

The Rock comes out.  He talks about how his first WrestleMania match was in this building.  He goes on with his promo, the highlight of which is when he calls John Cena “a homeless Power Ranger.”  Cena comes out and talks to Rock for a while.  They get mad at each other and act like they’re gonna fight.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz babbles for a while.  Rock says it doesn’t matter what Miz thinks.  Miz and Riley jump The Rock.  Cena has disappeared.  Rock makes his own comeback, knocks Riley out of the ring, and DDTs Miz and gives him the People’s Elbow, then throws him out of the ring.  Cena comes back in and gives Rock the Attitude Adjustment.

Pretty good go-home show, I thought.

WWE Superstars 3/24/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Tonight, Daniel Byran & Gail Kim vs. Tyson Kidd & Melina!  That might be pretty sweet.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Tyler Reks vs. Chris Masters.  They do a bit of wrestling.  Masters lands a shoulder block.  Reks gets a side headlock takeover, then lands a shoulder block of his own.  Masters throws Reks out of the ring.  Reks throws a fit outside.  Back inside, Masters lands a shoulder block and goes for the Master Lock.  Reks escapes and takes out the leg that was injured last week on Smackdown.  Reks goes to work on the leg.  Masters fights back and back body drops Reks to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Reks works on Masters’ leg for a while.  Masters gets a schoolboy for 2, then hits a Samoan Drop.  Masters makes his comeback.  Spinebuster gets 2.  Masters falls down because of his bad leg.  Reks hits a Complete Shot for 2.  Masters counters a short lariat and locks in the Master Lock for the referee stop (6:39 shown).  Fine little match.

From Smackdown: The Corre beat down The Big Show and Kane.  Tomorrow, Wade Barrett challenges Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship!

Tonight, mixed tag!

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Great Khali & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Khali is bandaged up from the beating he took on Raw from The Miz last week.  Yoshi and Jimmy go at it.  Yoshi hits a very wonky cradle out the corner for 2, then hits some arm drags.  Usos cut Yoshi off and get the heat on him.  Khali gets the lukewarm tag and… he doesn’t run wild, but he stumbles wild.  Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge (tree slam) on Jimmy for the pin in 3:57.  Yoshi worked the whole match, so it was fine.

Tonight, mixed tag!

WrestleMania hype.

The main event is next!

Daniel Bryan & Gail Kim vs. Tyson Kidd & Melina.  Gail and Melina lock up.  Melina backs Gail into the corner and cheap shots her.  They do some shit.  Gail gets a sunset flip for 2.  Gail hits a neckbreaker and tags Bryan in.  Bryan launches Gail onto Melina, then lifts her for a dropkick to Kidd.  Bryan gives Kidd a dropkick of his own for 2.  Bryan works Kidd’s arm.  Kidd lands a dropkick to the head and puts a beating on Bryan.  Kidd backs Bryan into the heel corner and beats on him.  Melina chokes Bryan behind the referee’s back.  Kidd continues to choking with his boot.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter.  Bryan counters and goes for the LeBell Lock.  Kidd gets the ropes.  Melina slaps Bryan.  Gail takes her out.  Bryan hits Kidd with a running knee off the apron.  Gail hits Melina with a diving cross body to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Bryan beats up Kidd.  Kidd tags out.  Gail comes in and beats up Melina.  Gail applies a stretch muffler.  Melina escapes and does a Matrix dodge to avoid a cross body.  Melina gets the heat on Gail.  Melina goes for the Hog Log, but Gail counters.  Melina hits her with a split kick for 2.  Melina applies a wonky submission hold and turns into a Gedo Clutch for 2.  Gail turns into sort of a surfboard, then turns it into a Gedo Clutch for 2.  Double “drive each others’ face into the mat” spot.  Bryan and Kidd tag in.  Bryan runs wild.  Clothesline gets 2.  Bryan lands a high kick and goes up top.  Melina crotches him.  Gail takes out Melina.  Kidd springs up to attack Bryan, but is pushed down.  Bryan and Gail hit stereo missile dropkicks.  Bryan locks in the LeBell Lock for the win (9:06 shown).  Fun match.  Bryan and Gail celebrate.

Not a bad show this week.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/21/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

Justin Roberts introduces Jim Ross.  Michael Cole comes out in a fat suit and a cowboy hat.  I already hate this show.  Cole throws the hat at Jerry Lawler and scampers into the Cole Mine for safety.  Cole, Lawler, and Josh Matthews are the announcers.

Triple H comes out to cut a promo about his match with The Undertaker at WrestleMania.  He asks Undertaker to show up on Raw next week.  He talks more about how one of them is going to die at Mania.  After the promo, Ted Dibiase Jr. comes out to talk about how far his star has fallen.  He wants to take out Triple H so people will notice him.  Triple H kicks his ass, throws him into stuff, and beats him with a chair.  Pedigree through the announce table.  This had absolutely no purpose besides burying Dibiase even further under the Earth.

Tonight, John Cena responds to the Miz live via satelitte.  Are you fucking serious?  Also, The Miz is “rewriting Miz-story.”  Ugh.  Commercials.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne.  Sheamus is good and pissed off, probably because he got the jobber entrance, and beats up Bourne.  Bourne avoids Sheamus in the corner, then kicks him in the face.  Bourne goes for the Shooting Star press, but crashes and burns when Sheamus avoids it.  Sheamus hits the brogue kick for the pin in 1:23.  There ya go.  Sheamus says he’s the United States Champion of America.  Former United States Champion of America Daniel Bryan comes out and says he wants his rematch at WrestleMania.  Sheamus throws him the belt and drops him with the brogue kick.  So Bryan is getting buried too.

Tonight, WrestleMania Rewind: Mysterio vs. Orton!  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: Randy Orton defeating and punting Mason Ryan last week, to CM Punk’s displeasure.

Randy Orton steps off of his bus.  Scott Stanford interviews him.

Non-Title: Maryse vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres.  Maryse prances around and poses.  Eve facetiously claps.  They get into a cat fight.  Maryse rams Eve’s face into stuff.  Eve avoids a charge and Maryse hits her leg on the rope.  Michael Cole starts talking over the match again, calling for it to end.  I actually agree with him, but feel sorry for the divas.  Eve goes for a standing moonsault, but Maryse gets her knees up.  Maryse goes for a neckbreaker, but Eve counters into her neckbreaker drop for the pin in 2:20.  Terrible.  Cole is happy it’s over, and so am I.  Eve tries to get at Cole in the Cole Mine, but of course Cole has security there to protect him from women and old announcers.  Eve manages to slap Cole’s arm.  Cole talks shit while security takes her away.

Tonight, Rewriting “Miz-Story,” whatever the fuck that is.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

From Smackdown: The Corre beat down The Big Show & Kane.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Corre (w/ Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina).  I’ve seen this match 700 times and it’s never been good.  Santino and Gabriel do some shit.  Santino threatens Slater with the Cobra.  Gabriel drops Santino with a kick for 2.  Slater tags in and works over Santino.  Kozlov gets the tag and runs wild.  Barrett distracts Kozlov.  Slater hits a reverse DDT.  Gabriel tags in and hits the 450 splash on Kozlov for the pin in 1:50.  At least it’s over.  Or not.  The Corre beat down Santino & Kozlov.  The Big Show and Kane make the save.  Kane throws Gabriel into the barricade.  Show gives Slater the KO punch.  Kane and Show hit a double chokeslam on Jackson.  Show shakes hands with Santino and Kozlov.

John Cena live via satellite next.  Commercials.

The Rock will be here next week.

Pittsburgh!

Highlights of Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio last week.  Cena was beaten down by Del Rio, Brodus Clay, and then The Miz who was dressed up as The Rock.

The announcers talk to John Cena via satellite.

Cole gets out of his cage to be obnoxious.  He promises to be obnoxious more next.  Commercials.

Michael Cole and Jack Swagger prance around the ring like fairies together.  Swagger stands in front of the announce table.  Cole talks shit about Lawler.  They show Brian Christopher being a snot nosed little bastard to his dad last week.  Cole says Christopher gave him the Lawler family photo album.  They show pictures of Lawler’s family on the big screen while Cole makes fun of them.  Lawler has finally had enough and gets up from the table.  Swagger jumps him, but Lawler kicks ass and chases Cole around the ring.  Swagger clotheslines Lawler and Cole scampers away into the Cole Mine for safety.  Swagger pushes Lawler’s face into the cage while Cole talks shit.  Swagger puts Lawler in the ankle lock.  With Lawler safely down, Cole takes over.  I can’t wait to see Lawler pound Cole’s face in at Mania.

Tonight, Mysterio vs. Orton!  Commercials.

Pittsburgh!

Lawler is gone.  Cole is an obnoxious little shit.

Last week: Stuff with Snooki, Vickie Guerrero, Trish Stratus, LayCool, Dolph Ziggler, and John Morrison.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero, Michelle McCool, & Layla) vs. John Morrison (w/ Trish Stratus).  They lock up.  Ziggler has found his viciousness.  He beats Morrison down.  Morrison rallies and beats on Ziggler in the corner.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Morrison fights out and lands a dropkick, then clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring.  McCool blocks him from doing a dive.  Trish takes out LayCool.  The iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that it’s now Morrison & Trish vs. Ziggler, LayCool, & Vickie.  Trish tries to grab Vickie, but LayCool get her away.  Commercials.  Ugh.

Handicap Match: Dolph Ziggler, Michelle McCool, Layla, & Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison & Trish Stratus.  JIP.  Ziggler has Morrison in a rear chin lock.  Morrison fights out.  Ziggler avoids the running knee and tags in Layla.  Trish beats up Layla.  Trish hits the Stratusphere, then chops Layla in the tits.  McCool kicks Trish from the apron.  They cut Trish off and get the heat on her.  Vickie tags in and misses a leg drop.  Morrison tags in and runs wild on Ziggler.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck.  Layla pulls Trish off the apron.  Morrison misses the Starship Pain.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag.  Ziggler tags in Vickie, who pins Morrison (4:11 shown).  Yes, John Morrison just did a job for Vickie Guerrero.  I hate the world.

Tonight, whatever stupid thing The Miz is doing.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Sin Cara vignette.

Various wrestlers talk about the Undertaker/Triple H Mania match.

They show Randy Orton taking out all of the members of the New Nexus as he makes his way to the ring.  Orton vs. Mysterio is NEXT!  Commercials.

They replay Orton’s promo from earlier tonight, with really horrible audio.

WrestleMania Rewind Match: Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio tries a go behind.  Orton elbows him in the face.  They go back and forth a bit.  Orton lands a European uppercut from his knees, which looks to be about the right height to hit Mysterio.  Orton slides Mysterio out of the ring and throws him back in, so that was pretty pointless.  Cover gets 2.  Orton continues the offensive with a rear chin lock.  Mysterio hits the diving seated senton.  Orton hits the powerslam and goes for the DDT OF MURDER.  Mysterio counters and goes for the 619.  Orton counters and hits the DDT OF MURDER.  CM Punk appears on the screen.  He’s at Orton’s bus.  He says he’s going to go in and meet Orton’s wife.  Orton runs to the back and presumable gets counted out.  He makes it to the bus, where Punk hits him with a wrench.  Orton’s wife screams, then looks oddly turned on by Punk, then calls for help.  I guess the match is a no-contest in about 4 minutes.  Shame.

Miz’s thing is next.  Commercials.

Undertaker, Triple H, and The Rock will all be here next week.

Alex Riley is in the ring.  He’s been rehired as Miz’s “Vice President of Corporate Communications.”  He introduces WWE Champion The Miz, who comes out without the belt.  He blathers for a while.  He turns the WWE log upside down so it looks like Ms instead of Ws, because his name is Miz.  He’s done the same with the belt.  John Cena appears on the tron and makes fun of him.  Geeks take away Cena’s “walls” to reveal he’s actually in the arena.  That was really fucking stupid.  Cena hits the ring to fight.  Miz runs away.  Cena puts Riley in the STF.  Repeatedly.

This show sucked.

WWE Superstars 3/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Tyler Reks.  They lock up.  Reks shoves JTG around.  JTG throws some punches.  Reks charges him in the corner and misses.  JTG lands a dropkick.  Reks clings to the ropes for safety.  Reks comes back and throws JTG out of the ring, then puts a hurting on him on the outside.  Back inside, Reks hits a backbreaker for 2.  JTG tries to fight back.  Reks hits a Final Cut for 2.  JTG avoids Reks in the corner again and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Reks holds onto the ropes to avoid a reverse cradle.  JTG gets it on the second try to for 2.  JTG low bridges Reks out of the ring and hits a diving shoulder block off the apron.  Back inside, JTG plants Reks with a DDT for 2.  JTG comes off the top rope, but Reks ducks him and kicks him in the gut.  Reks his his Burning Hammer for the pin in 5:48.  They tried, but I couldn’t get into it.

Tonight, Raw replays featuring Snooki.

WWE.com plug.

From Raw: Vickie Guerrero beat Trish Stratus after Dolph Ziggler, John Morrison, and LayCool got involved.  A brawl with Snooki happened and they booked a 6-person tag for Mania.

Santino & Kozlov in action next.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Ugh.  Santino has a new singlet.  I notice things like that.  The announcers don’t know the trick to telling the Usos apart.  Santino and Jey do some shit.  For what it’s worth, Jey is the one with the cross tattoo on his right arm.  Usos make quick tags and work over Santino.  Usos pull the switcheroo, but it doesn’t work.  Santino continues playing face in peril.  Kozlov gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Powerslam on Jey.  Jimmy saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino back body drops Jimmy on the floor.  Kozlov boots Jey and tags out.  Santino hits the Cobra on Jey for the pin in 4:24.  There ya go.

8-woman tag match tonight.  Ugh.

Raw Rebound.

WrestleMania hype.

Divas tag match next.  Ugh.

Melina, Alicia Fox, & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Natalya, Gail Kim, & Tamina.  Tamina beats up one of the Bellas.  Fox beats up Tamina.  Tamina beats up Fox.  Fox beats up Gail.  Gail hits a dropkick and a clothesline for 2.  Natalya tags in.  She and Gail give Fox a double suplex.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Fox makes it to the ropes before she can.  One of the Bellas tags in.  Natalya schoolgirls her for 2.  The other Bella distracts Natalya to let the legal Bella get the advantage.  The heel divas cut Natalya off and get the heat on her.  Insta-commercials.  Natalya continues to play face in peril.  Natalya gets a cradle on Melina for 1.  Melina applies a rear chin lock while chewing on her hair.  Natalya escapes and goes for an enzuigiri.  Melina ducks.  One of the Bellas pulls Eve off the apron.  Tamina drops both of the Bellas at ringside.  Natalya clotheslines Melina and makes the tag to Eve.  Natalya slams Melina.  Eve’s first act of the match is to hit a moonsault press on Melina for the pin (5:55 shown).  At least it’s over.  Face divas celebrate.

I was not into this show at all.  Not only was it not good, but I was also not in the right state of mind to get through this in a good humor.

WWE Superstars 3/10/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  They promise more Raw replays.

Chris Masters vs. Tyler Reks.  This is coming off of Reks’ attack on Masters last week after Masters beat Curt Hawkins.  Masters has 2 straight wins over Reks.  Masters kicks ass and goes for the Master Lock.  Reks escapes from the ring.  They brawl back in the ring.  Reks gets the advantage and puts a beating on Masters.  Reks hits a short lariat for 2, then applies a neck and shoulder hold.  Reks whips Masters down and continues the vicious attack.  Masters comes back with a diving shoulder block, then clotheslines Reks out of the ring again.  They brawl outside.  Reks sends Masters face first into the post, then hits a Final Cut.  Insta-commercials.  Reks has Masters in a half crab.  Masters gets a rope break.  Reks hits a backbreaker for 2.  Reks keeps the heat doing.  Masters gets a backslide for 1, then counters Reks and hits a Samoan Drop.  Masters makes his comeback.  Sky High gets 2.  D’Lo Brown represent!  Reks hits a Complete Shot for 2.  Reks goes for the Burning Hammer.  Masters escapes and locks in the Master Lock  for the referee stop (7:21 shown).  Good little match.  It’s a shame that Masters finally becomes a good wrestler and he’s relegated to Superstars.

Up next, Raw replays!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.

From Raw: Michael Cole introduced John Bradshaw Layfield as his chosen referee from WrestleMania, but Stone Cold Steve Austin intervened and signed on for the job.

Tonight, Khali, Henry, & Natalya vs. Regal, Kidd, & Melina!  That’s quite the mess.

Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Santino Marella & Tamina) vs. Zack Ryder (w/ Primo).  Ryder hides in the ropes.  Kozlov throws him around.  Kozlov gets a leg lock.  Ryder gets the ropes.  Ryder grabs a headlock.  Kozlov catches a cross body and hits a fall away slam.  Ryder rolls to the floor.  Kozlov throws him back in.  Ryder gets the jump on Kozlov coming back in.  For a second.  Kozlov does the battering ram headbutts and a judo throw, and continues to smash Ryder.  Primo gets on the apron.  Santino pulls him off.  Ryder hits the Rough Ryder for the pin in 3:00.  There ya go.

From Raw: Shawn Michaels speaking on the Triple H/Undertaker WrestleMania match.

Still to come, MORE Raw replays!

From Raw: The Rock/John Cena/The Miz shit talking.

Main event is NEXT!

Great Khali, Mark Henry, & Natalya vs. William Regal, Tyson Kidd, & Melina.  Natalya and Melina do some stuff.  It breaks out into a cat fight.  Kidd tags in and tells Natalya to get out.  Natalya tags in Henry.  Kidd slaps him, runs away, and tags in Regal.  Henry smashes Regal and tags in Khali.  Regal takes Khali down to a knee.  Kidd tags himself in and slaps Khali.  Khali no sells it.  Kidd tries to tag out, but neither Regal nor Melina are interested.  Kidd tries to make friends.  Khali delivers the crown chop and the tree slam for the pin in 3:09.  At least that’s over.  Or not.  Henry splashes Kidd.  Natalya puts him in the Sharpshooter.  Regal just stands back and watches.  The faces celebrate.  Regal puts Kidd in the Regal Stretch.  Melina slaps him.  Haha, man, they buried Tyson under the earth here.

Aside from the opener, a very mediocre show.

WWE Superstars 3/3/11

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WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are the first announcers.  They promise more replays from Raw.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

R-Truth vs. William Regal.  Hell yes!  They lock up and do some pimp chain wrestling for a second.  Truth hits a flying headscissors and a side headlock takeover.  They work the headlock a bit in a spot that I love.  Truth dances and kicks Regal in the face for 2.  Truth goes back to a headlock.  Regal gets his chance and set out to maul a fucker.  Regal hits a knee drop, then pounds on Truth’s face, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Truth fights out.  Regal hits an Exploder and an elbow drop for 2.  Regal applies a chin lock again.  Truth fights out again and makes his comeback.  Regal dodges the Lie Detector and goes for a Butterfly Suplex, but Truth counters and hits the What’s Up for the pin in 4:24.  Fun match.

Tonight, Santino & Kozlov vs. Ryder & Primo again.

WWE.com plug.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina) vs. Zack Ryder & Primo.  Primo and Santino do a bit of back and forth wrestling, complete the stalemate and applause!  Santino scares Primo out of the ring with the Cobra.  Ryder tags in and beats up Santino.  Santino hits an STO and tags in Kozlov.  Santino and Kozlov takes turns beating on Kozlov.  Kozlov throws Ryder to the floor.  Santino scares Primo with the Cobra again, and Kozlov sends him to the floor as well.  Insta-commercials.  Primo tries to beat up Kozlov, but Kozlov catches a cross body and hits a fall away slam.  Primo avoids Kozlov in the corner and tags in Ryder.  Ryder hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Primo tags in and keeps the heat going on Kozlov.  Santino and Ryder tag in.  Santino runs wild and hits the falling headbutt for 2.  Primo saves.  Kozlov sends Primo out.  Ryder sends Kozlov out.  Primo dodges the Rough Ryder and hits the Cobra for the pin in (6:00 shown).  Fun little match.

Tonight, replay of The Rock’s promo from Raw!  Aren’t you excited?

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.  Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Replay of Shawn Michaels speaking on the Undertaker/Triple H WrestleMania match.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Sin Cara is coming to WWE!

Curt Hawkins vs. Chris Masters.  They lock up.  Masters throws Hawkins across the ring, then chops the crap out of him.  Hawkins hits a jawbreaker, then trips Masters and causes him to face plant.  Hawkins beats on Masters.  Hawkins hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Hawkins applies a body scissors.  Masters stands up with Hawkins on his back and rams him into the post, then catches a dropkick and catapults Hawkins into the turnbuckles.  Masters makes his comeback and hits a diving shoulder block for 2.  Masters locks in the Master Lock for the win in 3:21.  It was fine.  Tyler Reks appears and attacks Masters.  Reks delivers his Burning Hammer.

Up next, replay from Raw!

The main event of Superstars is replays of the war of words between John Cena and The Rock.  That’s pretty lame.

The wrestling was pretty solid this week.