Archive for Scott Hall

WCW SuperBrawl VIII (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

The shows opens with a Sting/Hogan hype video.

Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan are on commentary LIVE from the Cow Palace in San Francisco.  They talk about what’s going to happen TONIGHT, then send it to David Penzer to introduce the first match!

WCW World Television Championship Match:
Rick Martel (c) vs. Booker T.  The winner of this match will defend the title against Perry Saturn later tonight.  Martel offers a handshake, then tries to jump Booker.  He was at worst a tweener on the last PPV, so I’m going to make a wild assumption that he at least half ass turned heel to win the belt from Booker on TV between the PPVs.  Back and forth match early on.  The Flock is in the crowd watching.  They do a lot of the same stuff from their previous PPV match.  The audio on the show is kind of wonky, the commentary isn’t as loud as usual.  Martel sends Booker into the guardrail to get the advantage and builds the heat.  Booker hits a side slam.  He misses an elbow drop but Spinaroonies up and hits an elbow smash.  Martel fights back and gets a near fall off of a powerslam.  Booker fights back again, but Martel hits a spinebuster and locks in the crab hold.  Booker gets a rope break.  Martel hits a crossbody, but Booker rolles through and gets a near fall, then gets another with a reverse cradle.  Martel gets his own near fall with a lariat.  Booker bounces off the ropes and hits a big forearm, then the scissors kick and slam.  Booker goes up top and goes for a crossbody, but Martel ducks.  Martel dives off the top rope, but Booker catches him with the Harlem Side Kick to win the title at 10:33.  Saturn jumps in the ring, tosses Martel, and attacks Booker, which gives us…

WCW World Television Championship Match:
Booker T (c) vs. Perry Saturn.  Saturn locks in the Rings of Saturn, but Booker gets a rope break.  Saturn tries to get the pin with various cradles, then chokes Booker with his shirt.  Booker hits his rollup out of the corner for a near fall, but Saturn immediately goes back to kicking his ass.  Saturn beats up Booker on the outside of the ring.  Booker gets a brief second wind and reverses an Irish whip to send Saturn into the guardrail.  He can’t follow up though, and Saturn jumps on him again.  Back in the ring, Booker gets beat up some more.  Booker catches Saturn with a slam.  Saturn knocks him out of the ring again and hits a dive.  Saturn beats on Booker some more.  Booker ducks a shot and hits a forearm.  Saturn ducks a charging Booker, who takes a funny looking bump bouncing off the turnbuckle.  Saturn hits a backdrop suplex off of the middle rope.  Saturn keeps trying to pin Booker to close to the ropes.  Saturn goes for a superplex, but Booker counters it with a front suplex and hits his missile dropkick.  Everytime Booker hits a move, he has to take a moment to breathe and can’t finish Saturn off.  Saturn hits an Exploder, but now he’s sleepy too.  Saturn finally gets around to making the cover, but Booker kicks out.  Saturn hits a nice belly-to-belly for another near fall.  Saturn hits a springboard moonsault to knock Booker down.  They slowly make it back to their feet.  Saturn beats Booker down and chokes him.  Booker tries to climb the ropes but kind of stumbles back into a Saturn suplex.  Saturn wears down Booker with a chin lock.  Tenay announces that Martel’s knee was injured in the previous match.  Booker and Saturn run the ropes and crossbody each other.  Booker hits a slam, the scissors kick, and a sidewalk slam.  Booker goes for the Harlem Hangover, but Saturn moves.  Saturn hits a various suplexes for near falls.  Booker nails the Harlem Side Kick out of nowhere for the win at 14:24.  The Booker/Martel match was fine, though I liked their match from the previous PPV better.  Booker/Saturn was good too and worked well in the context of this whole thing.

I don’t know how true the details are, but according to Wikipedia, Martel was supposed to win these matches.  He injured his knee and broke his leg in the Booker match, so they improvised a new finish.  Then, Booker and Saturn called their whole match in the ring.  Martel would return in July and reinjure himself in his first match back before retiring for good.  I emailed Meltzer and he says it’s true.

La Parka vs. Disco Inferno.  Apparently, they’re feuding over who is the better dancer.  Naturally, the way to settle a disagreement over dancing is to have a wrestling match.  A minute in, La Parka sends Disco out of the ring with a kick and hits a suicide dive.  The audio on this show is very odd.  You can hear what’s going on where the cameras are shooting a lot louder than you can hear the announcers.  Parka controls the match for a while.  Disco has a brief comeback, then gets kicked in the face.  Parka headscissors Disco out of the ring, then hits a tope suicida.  Back in the ring, Disco starts fighting back.  The ref gets nailed somehow while my wife was blocking the TV.  Parka brings his chair in and politely lets Disco sit down.  Parka goes to the top rope.  Disco stops him and goes for a superplex, but Parka counters.  Parka ends up taking a bump facefirst into the chair.  Disco hits the Chart Buster to get the win at 11:41.  Not a bad match, but I thought it was about twice as long as a feud over dance moves deserves.

Mean Gene Okerlund is with JJ Dillon.  Dillon calls out referee Nick Patrick and reinstates him, but he’s not going to be the referee in the main event tonight.

Brad Armstrong vs. Bill Goldberg.  This is a special bonus match.  Armstrong tries, but Goldberg is too much for him.  Goldberg tosses him around a bit and no sells everything Armstrong tries.  Spear, Jackhammer, and the pin at 2:24.  Okay for what is, which wasn’t much.

WCW World Cruiserweight Championship vs. Mask Match:
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Juventud Guerrera (m).  Jericho loves the belt so much he wrestles with it on.  He gets hurt when Juventud spin kicks the belt, so he finally takes it off.  Juventud hits a neat rana off the apron on Jericho.  Jericho plays dead so he’ll get counted out and keep the belt.  Juventud brings him back in.  Jericho goes for a German, but Juventud lands on his feet.  Jericho hits his springboard dropkick the guy off the apron move.  They go outside a bit, then Jericho comes back in and catches a sprinboarding Juventud and Tombstones him for a near fall.  Juventud gets a near fall off of a victory roll.  Jericho locks in a backbreaker hold and thinks he got the win.  He gets angry when he realises he didn’t.  Juventud flies off the top rope and tries the victory roll again, but gets dropped.  Jericho climbs the ropes, but Juventud dropkicks him and he goes to the floor.  Juvi hits a dive to the outside and brings Jericho back to the ring.  Juvi hits a Michinoku Driver and the 450 splash for the pin… but Jericho’s hand was on the bottom rope!  Jericho clips Juvi’s leg.  Juvi counters a move with a front cradle but Jericho kicks out.  Stuff happens kinda quick.  Juvi hits a swank springboard avalanche Frankensteiner.  Jericho hits a reverse brainbuster, but misses the Lionsault.  Jericho goes for the Liontamer, but Juventud counters with a cradle for a near fall.  Juvi goes for a Frankensteiner, but Jericho counters and locks in the Liontamer for the win at 13:29.  Okay match.  It got better after the false finish.  Juvi slowly and sadly undoes his mask.  Jericho, the unsensitive bastard, yanks it off.

Steve McMichael vs. The British Bulldog.  Bulldog goes all out at Mongo to start.  Mongo fights back.  Back and forth power match.  Bulldog puts Mongo in the Sharpshooter.  Mongo gets a rope break.  They spill outside and Mongo kicks Davey Boy’s ass.  Bulldog starts working over Mongo’s arm.  Back in the ring, Mongo does his football tackle a couple of times.  He goes for the Tombstone, but Bulldog grabs a Fujiwara armbar for the win at 6:10.  Mongo gets mad at the referee because he didn’t submit.  I guess it was a referee stop.  Match wasn’t anything special, but not offensive.  At least it was kept short.

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship Match: Diamond Dallas Page (c) vs. Chris Benoit.  Page looks remarkably like a construction worker with elbow pads.  They trade hammerlocks.  Page takes some punishment.  Benoit goes for the Crippler Crossface early, but Page escapes before he can lock it in and bails.  He comes back in and they do a quick pinfall reversal sequence.  Benoit fires up with chops.  Page fights back and goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Benoit slips away and bails to take a breather.  Tempers flare and they start throwing punches.  Benoit works Page over, wearing him down with a sleeper.  Page finally hits a jawbreaker to get out if it.  Page gets a second wind and throws some punches, but Benoit suplexes him and goes back to the sleeper.  Page escapes again, Benoit locks it in again.  Page somehow throws Benoit out of the ring.  Benoit climbs to the top rope, but Page pushes the ropes to crotch him and hits a superplex.  Page hits his spinning lariat for a near fall, then a diving lariat for another.  Benoit locks in the Crippler Crossface, but Page gets a rope break.  Page gets an inside cradle for a near fall.  Benoit covers and gets a two count as well.  Benoit beats on Page in the corner.  Page hits a belly-to-belly for a two count.  Rolling Germans from Benoit for a near fall.  Page hits a big tornado DDT, but Benoit kicks out.  Page goes for the Diamond Cutter.  Benoit counters and goes for a backslide.  Page counters and hits the Diamond Cutter for the win at 15:49.  Really good match.

Cut to the announcers.  Tony announces that The Giant missed his flight and isn’t there tonight.  The Jackknife Powerbomb has been banned since Nash almost murdered The Giant last month.  Video package on the aforementioned Giant/Nash match last month.

No DQ Match:
Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Lex Luger.  There’s a production boo boo during the entrances, as the start of the Steiners’ music plays before Luger’s music.  Luger has taped ribs.  Luger tries a press slam but can’t do it because of the rib injury.  Savage, of course, works on the ribs.  Luger tries to get a quick pin with an inside cradle, but Savage kicks out and attacks the ribs again.  Luger eventually makes a comeback and gets Savage in the Torture Rack, but Elizabeth attacks him.  nWo jobbers run in to cause the DQ in the No DQ Match at 7:21.  Luger and Savage fight off Norton, Bagwell,  Brian Adams, and Vincent.  Hogan comes out and says he’s glad Savage got beat.  Luger is announced as the winner.  All the results sites say the result is Luger by submission, but that’s not how it looked.  Retarded fucking shit.  Ah, on replay you can see the referee signaling for the bell when Savage was in the rack, so the timekeeper is the fucking retard here.

WCW World Tag Team Championship Match: The Steiner Brothers (c) (w/ Ted Dibiase) vs. The Outsiders (w/ Dusty Rhodes).  Hall conducts his survey before the match.  For some reason, the Steiners wear the new tag belts while Dibiase carries the old belts.  Hall throws his toothpick in Rick’s face and Rick throws his fist in Hall’s face.  Rick punches Hall a bunch, then suplexes him.  Nash comes in and gets sent out of the ring.  The Outsiders take a breather as the Steiners do their pose in the ring, then Scott attacks Rick!  Dusty throws Dibiase into the ring post.  The Outsiders and Scott do the nWo sign.  Hall covers Rick… who kicks out!  Rick takes a beating, but then fights back!  Nash nails Rick from behind and Hall goes for the Outsider’s Edge.  He fails the first time, but then hits it and gets the win at 4:18.  Scott hands Hall and Nash the belts.

Uncensored, next month LIVE on PPV!

Michael Buffer is in the ring to introduce the main event.

WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Hollywood Hogan vs. Sting.  Sting charges the ring and Hogan whips him with his belt.  Hogan uses various dirty tricks to get the better of Sting early on.  After about six minutes of being beaten by grandma Hogan, Sting makes a comeback.  Sting takes off Hogan’s belt and whips him with it.  Hogan tries to leave, but Sting follows and chokes him with the belt.  Sting accidentally Stinger Splashes the guardrail and Hogan goes to work on him again.  Sting fights back and hits the Stinger Splash, then locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hogan gets a rope break.  Referee Charles Robinson gets sandwiched between Hogan and Sting in another Stinger Splash.  Nick Patrick comes in as Hogan hits the leg drop.  Patrick makes a fair two count.  Hogan gets angry at Patrick for calling the match fairly.  Hogan goes for the pin about 348 times in a minute, but Sting keeps lifting a shoulder.  Sting powers out and Hogan stops on his hands.  Hogan throws Sting out of the ring, beats him up a bit, brings him back in the ring, and punches him in the balls.  Sting makes a comeback and hits some Stiner Splashes and Scorpion Death Drop, but Hogan kicks Patrick at the same time.  The nWo runs in and Sting fights them off while Savage comes in and nails Hogan with something.  Sting covers Hogan for the win at 16:34.  Sting spraypaints “WCW” on Hogan’s chest.  Long, boring match.

I was expecting good things after Souled Out was such a good show.  This one isn’t very good.  The great DDP/Benoit match is the only saving grace of this show.

WCW Souled Out 1998 (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

The opening video package is all about Eric Bischoff and the Nash/Giant match.

Tony Schiavone welcomes us to the sold out Hara Arena in Dayton.  He, Bobby Heenan, and Dusty Rhodes are on commentary.  They talk a bit about what’s going down tonight.

Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo, Lizmark Jr., & Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Psicosis, La Parka, Silver King, & El Dandy.  Mike Tenay joins the other guys for commentary on this.  For some reason, there was a time when he only called the lucha matches.  I wish that were the case in TNA today, since they only have a few lucha matches every couple of years.  It’s lucha rules here, appropriately.  Psicosis and Calo start.  What exactly was Calo’s gimmick supposed to be?  Lizmark and Silver King comes in.  Lizmark avoids some dropkicks.  King fires up with chops.  Lizmark does some flips and catches him in a backbreaker.  King hits a swinging DDT and covers.  Chavo saves.  Chavo and Dandy come in and have another since exchange.  They take a spill out of the ring and Parka and Juventud come in.  They hit stereo baseball slides onto the guys outside.  Some quick stuff happens while I’m typing.  Juventud his a diving rana and some more fast shit happens.  Lizmark does a neat arm sequence with Psicosis.  Dandy gets a la magistral on Lizmark but Calo saves.  Calo hits a neat headscissors off the turnbuckle.  Silver King does a spinny thing and senton on Calo and covers.  Juventud saves.  He fucks up a little doing something with King.  King and Juventud fight on the top rope.  Juventud pushes him down and hits a 450 splash, but Parka breaks the cover, then hits him with a sit-out powerbomb.  Calo saves.  Psicosis hits a front suplex and a diving leg drop on Chavo.  Calo saves.  Parka tags in and throws Chavo out of the ring.  King and Calo go at it.  Calo gets sent to the outside and King dives, but Calo moves and King crashes.  Calo dives and hits it.  Dandy dives onto Calo.  Juvtentud springboards off of Lizmark onto Dandy.  Parka hits an Asai moonsault on everbody.  Lizmark dives on everybody.  Chavo and Psicosis are the only guys left in the ring.  Chavo hits the tornado DDT for the win at 9:30.  La Parka hits all the winners with a chair, then he hits his partners too.  Awesome match.

Raven comes out with Flock members Kidman, Lodi, Van Hammer, Scotty Riggs, and Sick Boy (last three are guesses, but I think I’m right).  David Penzer announces that the Flock will be banned from ringside.  They leave, and Raven cuts what I assume was his usual promo for the time period.

Raven’s Rules Match: Raven vs. Chris Benoit.  Raven jumps Benoit on the outside to start.  When they make it to the ring, Benoit gets a quick backslide for a near fall.  Raven pounces on him again and tries to stay on top of things.  Raven goes for a bulldog on a chair.  It looked to me like Benoit blocked it, but they play it off like he hit it, so I’ll play along.  Benoit reverses Raven and hits the drop toe hold on the chair.  Benoit fires away with chops and blasts Raven with a clothesline.  Benoit snap suplexes Raven on the chair for a near fall.  Benoit rips Raven’s shirt off and chops him some more.  Benoit kicks Raven’s ass outside the ring, even suplexing him on the ramp.  Benoit takes Raven back to the ring and suplexes him near the chair.  Benoit puts the chair on Raven’s face and hits the diving headbutt!  Benoit is knocked loopy.  By the time he manages to make the cover, Raven is able to kick out.  Benoit goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Raven counters and hits a DDT.  They’re both laid out again.  Benoit wakes up and covers for a two count.  Raven goes for the DDT, but Benoit locks in the Cripple Crossface.  Raven passes out to give Benoit the victory at 10:36.  Kidman comes down, but Dean Malenko shows up and puts him in the Texas Cloverleaf.  The rest of the Flock attacks Benoit and Malenko as Hammer carries Raven away.  Malenko manages to fight off the Flock.  Really good match.  Was this promotion good in early 1998 and nobody told me?

WCW World Cruiserweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  11 years later and both of these guys have been World Champions in WWE.  Who would have thought that in 1998?  Tenay is back on commentary.  Rey’s knee is hurt, but he still goes full speed ahead.  Jericho is sent outside with a headscissors and Mysterio does the 619 back when it was still a fakeout move.  Rey appears to tweak his knee, but when Jericho tries to sneak attack him Mysterio locks in a sleeper.  He ends up getting a near fall with a victory roll, but favors his knee again.  Fuck, Rey used to be awesome.  They tease what might be an awesome rana off the apron, but Rey hurts his knee and Jericho goes to work on him.  Rey fights back and hits an odd Unprettier type move.  Rey eventually hurts his knee again and Jericho locks in the Liontamer for the instant submission at 8:22.  Good match.  Jericho gets upset that the crowd is booing him, so he beats up Rey some more to give them a reason to boo.  He hits Rey’s knee with a trunk.

Mean Gene Okerlund is in the ring with JJ Dillon to talk about the WCW World Heavyweight Championship being vacant.  Dillon talks, then introduces Roddy Piper.  Piper talks, then asks Sting to come out.  Sting indeed does come out.  Piper asks Hollywood Hogan and Scott Hall to come out, who indeed come out as well, accompanied by Eric Bischoff.  Piper tells Hall that even though he won the World War 3 battle royal, he’s not getting a title shot right now.  Piper announces that Sting and Hogan will wrestle for the vacant title at SuperBrawl next month.  Hogan protests.  Sting punks him down.  Hall leaves.  Hogan leaves when notices he has no backup.  Dissension in the nWo?

WCW World Television Championship Match: Booker T (c) vs. Rick Martel.  They lock up and trade hammerlocks.  Martel ends up getting a near fall off of a reverse cradle, then they trade hammerlocks again.  He tries the reverse cradle again, but Booker holds onto the ropes.  Booker works Martel’s arm.  He hits a kick, covers for two, and goes back to the arm.  Martel escapes, but Booker gets ahold the arm again and keeps working on it.  Martel tries to leapfrog Booker but gets headbutted in the gut.  Martel gets mad and stomps Booker in the corner, then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle and drops an elbow on him.  Martel hits a gutwrench suplex for a two count, then a spinebuster for another near fall.  Booker gets a near fall with a sunset flip.  Martel continues to work on Booker’s back.  Booker escapes and catches him with a forearm after some quick moving.  Booker misses a dropkick.  Martel locks in the crab hold, but Booker gets a rope break.  Booker hits the scissors kick and a sidewalk slam, then the Harlem Hangover for the win at 10:50.  Good match.  Martel grabs the belt from the referee, then hands it to Booker and raises his hand.  Perry Saturn runs in and hits an Exploder on Martel

This is a good show so far.

WCW World Tag Team Champion Scott Hall (w/ Louie Spicolli) vs. Larry Zbyszko (w/ Dusty Rhodes). Hall doesn’t wear his tag belt to the ring.  That makes me sad.  Maybe Nash will wear his later.  Dusty leaves the commentary table to be Zbyszko’s second.  Larry gets the better early on and Hall seems befuddled that the old man is outdoing him.  Larry locks Hall in the abdominal stretch.  Hall hiptosses him out of it.  Repeat.  Larry takes Hall down repeatedly.  Spicolli gets in a cheap shot to let Hall take over.  Dusty goes for Spicolli.  Nothing happens with that.  Larry smashes Hall’s face into the turnbuckle, but Hall cuts him off and works him over.  Hall hits the fall away slam, which I always mark for for some odd reason.  He sets up the Outsider’s Edge, but Zbyszko backdrops him out of it and makes a comeback.  Larry accidentally kicks the referee.  Hall hits a lariat and covers, but obviously, the referee is down.  Hall checks on the referee.  Larry plays possum and locks Hall in his chancery hold.  Spicolli attacks Zbyszko.  Dusty comes in and cleans his clock, then hits the Bionic Elbow on Zbyszko!  Dusty takes off his shirt to reveal an nWo shirt!  They all attack Larry, who wins by DQ at 9:16.  I expected this match to be awful, but it was kinda fun.

Scott Norton, Konnan, & Buff Bagwell of the nWo (w/ Vincent) vs. The Steiner Brothers & Ray Traylor (w/ Ted Dibase).  Schiavone is very upset because of Dusty joining the nWo.  He and Heenan call for Tenay to come out and carry the team.  Believe it or not, there was a time when Tenay was a good commentator.  Rick and Bagwell start.  I’ve always hated Buff Bagwell intensely.  His gimmick is so fucking obnoxious.  Rick beats up Bagwell, then Traylor beats up Bagwell, then Rick beats up Bagwell some more.  Why are they not letting Scott have a turn in their game?  Rick tags Traylor back in.  Bagwell makes the tag to Norton, who briefly murders Traylor, but Traylor makes a comeback.  Man, you forget what an agile dude Traylor could be.  Listening to the commentary, there’s something to Rick and Traylor not tagging in Scott.  The bad guys get the heat on Traylor for a bit.  Lukewarm tag to Rick, who gets DDT’d by Konnan.  Scott threatens the referee.  Bad guys beat up Rick.  Traylor and Scott argue in the face corner.  Scott eventually comes in to try to save Rick and argues with the referee again.  Rick makes a hot tag to both partners.  Scott cleans house.  The referee tries to make him get out of the ring but gets shoved again.  He Dragon suplexes Konnan off of Traylor, who finally tags him in.  Scott hits the Steiner Screwdriver on Konnan for the win at 12:20.  Okay match.  Scott and Bagwell have compare physiques and chat after the match.

WCW World Tag Team Champion Kevin Nash (w/ Hollywood Hogan & Eric Bischoff) vs. The Giant.  No tag belt with Nash either.  Sad face.  Stare down.  Nash pokes Giant.  Giant shoves Nash.  They lock up for about half a minute.  Nash grabs a side headlock.  Giant backdrop suplexes his way out of it.  Giant goes on the offensive and Nash bails to take a breather.  Nash comes back in and goes on the offensive.  I use the same phrase over and over again don’t I?  Giant fights back and kicks Nash with a high big boot.  Slow back and forth brawl.  Nash clotheslines Giant out of the ring and DOES A FUCKING SUICIDE DIVE.  Let that sentence sink in for a moment.  Giant catches him and rams him into the post, then puts him back in the ring.  While the referee’s back is turned, Hogan blindsides Giant with a chair.  Giant barely beats the count back in the ring.  Nash is upset he didn’t win by count-out, but takes the advantage Hogan handed him on a silver splatter.  Giant hits a clotheslines, then they knock each other down with big boots.  Nash eventually covers for a two count.  Nash does the punches in the corner spot, but Giant gives him an inverted atomic drop.  Giant makes a comeback and body slams Nash.  He signals for the chokeslam.  Bischoff jumps up on the apron and gets chokeslamed by Giant.  Nash throws coffee in Giant’s face and hits a horribly botched and painful looking Jackknife Powerbomb for the pin at 10:48.  The finish was scary.  Giant is lucky he wasn’t crippled.  Match wasn’t good, but it was quite a spectacle.

Ric Flair vs. Bret Hart.  This is Bret’s first WCW match.  Lock up, headlock, drop, good basic stuff to start.  Bret puts Flair in his own figure-four leglock 2 minutes in.  Flair gets a rope break and rolls to the apron.  Bret suplexes him back in and covers for a two count.  Bret works on Flair with some simple holds.  They get into a slap fight and Flair takes a breather.  Flair comes back in and gets the advantage for a moment, then gets backdropped and slammed.  Bret grounds him with a headlock.  They get back to their feet and Flair throws some punches to get the advantage.  Bret goes for a sleeper, but Flair backdrops him.  Flair low blows Bret when the ref’s back is turned and takes over.  Flair works the leg a bit.  They trade chops and punches.  Bret hits a swinging neckbreaker.  Bret starts working on Flair’s leg.  Bret tries the figure-four around the ring post, but Flair kicks him into the guardrail.  Flair works on Bret’s leg back in the ring.  Flair goes for the figure-four, but Bret counters with an inside cradle for a near fall.  Bret hits a backslide for another two count, then Flair clips his leg and locks in the figure-four.  Bret suffers for a bit, then turns it over, forcing Flair to release the hold.  Flair goes to the top rope and of course gets thrown off.  Bret takes his chest first bump into the turnbuckle.  Flair goes for a Russian leg sweep, but Bret counters and hits his own.  Flair chops Bret.  Bret pulls down his straps.  Flair begs off, but Bret punches him in the corner.  Inverted atomic drop gets Flair out of it.  Didn’t we see that exact same spot in the last match, only more poorly executed?  Bret hits his diving elbow for a two count, then hits a superplex.  Bret locks Flair in the Sharpshooter for the win at 18:06.  Very good match.

Michael Buffer is in the ring to do intros for the main event.  What’s going to follow Flair vs. Bret?

Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Lex Luger.  Bleh.  Savage plays chickenshit and Luger persues him.  Elizabeth hits him from behind allowing Savage to jump Luger and get the advantage.  Liz chokes Luger with Savage’s bandana while Savage distracts the referee.  Luger catches a charging Savage with a boot and starts a comeback, but Liz grabs his foot and lets Savage pounce on him again.  I’ve never seen Liz interfere like this.  Savage and Luger brawl in the crowd.  They make it back to the ring and Luger hits some forearms.  Hall comes down with a chair.  Hogan follows and they chat a bit.  Hall gets on the apron.  Luger sends Savage into him and knocks Hall to the floor.  Luger puts Savage in the Torture Rack for the victory at 7:07.  The nWo jumps Luger after the match.  Sting makes the save and the two WCW supermen fight off the bad guys.  Luger puts Nash in the Rack and Sting puts Hogan in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Luger and Sting celebrate to close the show.

Great show.  Today PPVs are mostly lame matches in between crappy segments.  This show only had one non-wrestling segment in 3 hours.  Besides that, it was just match, match, match, match, and nearly all of those matches were good.  Even Luger and Savage had a decent match (it was kept short and played to their strengths, as Luger sucks and Savage was old even 11 years ago).  I give Souled Out 1998 a thumbs up!

Starrcade: The Essential Collection Disc 1 (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

Originally posted on my old blog on 1/30/09.

Here’s another fine WWE Home Video release I got a few weeks ago that I’m finally going to try to watch some of.

There’s an okay 50 minute documentary before we get to the real selling point of the DVD: BONUS MATCHES!

“Mean” Gene Okerlund explains that we well be counting down the top 25 matches in Starrcade history, based on various factors.

#25
Starrcade, 12/29/96
Non-Title: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. WCW World Heavyweight Champion “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan (w/ Ted Dibiase, Vincent, & Miss Elizabeth).  Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Dusty Rhodes are on commentary.  Someone please drop me a PM and explain to me why the main event of the biggest show of the year has the World Champion in a non-title match.  Piper is ready to fight, but Hogan stalls.  They finally do some lame old guy brawling.  This match is slow and boring.  I’m sure they had good matches in the 80s when Hogan played face and Piper played heel, but 10 years later with the roles reversed, it doesn’t work.  Piper whips Hogan with a belt.  Piper hits the ropes and Dibiase grabs his foot.  Hogan attacks a scar on Piper’s hip.  Hogan utilizes an abdominal stretch, but Piper escapes.  Piper gets a near fall with an inside cradle.  More boring old man brawling, then Piper hits a suplex and covers.  Hogan gets a foot on the ropes.  Hogan misses the leg drop.  Piper attacks Hogan’s leg.  The Giant comes in and lifts Piper for the chokeslam.  A “fan” comes in the ring and goes after Hogan.  Security gets rid of him.  Piper gouges The Giant’s eyes to escape his predicament.  Piper gets the sleeper hold to win at 15:37.  The Outsiders hit the ring.  Piper fights them off and escapes an nWo beatdown.

Jim Ross explains the Iron Man Tournament from Starrcade 1989.  Ross introduces the next match, and explains that Muta only had one loss ever in the NWA prior to this match.

#24
Starrcade, 12/13/89
Non-Title, Iron Man Tournament Match: Sting vs. NWA World Television Champion Great Muta (w/ Gary Hart).  Jim Ross and Terry Funk are on commentary.  They exchange full nelsons to start.  They do some stuff.  Sting hits a suplex, then twists Muta’s arm and hits an atomic drop.  Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock early, but he’s too close to the ropes.  Muta bails and recieves encouragement from Hart.  Back in the ring, both men are cautious.  Muta hits a backdrop and the Shining elbow drop.  MUTA PUTS STING IN THE CATTLE MUTILATION!  Sting manages to get out of it.  Sting hits a press slam for a two count.  They fight some more.  Muta misses the moonsault but hits a big kick and goes up again.  Sting kicks him, causing Muta to crotch himself on the top rope.  Sting hits a superplex for the win at 8:41.  Okay match, but seeing that they both already had one match and both had another coming that night, they understandably held back some.  I need to see their Great American Bash ’89 match.

Ross introduces the next match and they show the angle that set it up.

#23
Starrcade, 12/28/92
WCW & NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: Ricky Steamboat & Shane Douglas (c) vs. Barry Windham & Brian Pillman.  Ross and Jesse Ventura are on commentary.  Douglas and Pillman start with a good exchange.  Douglas sends Pillman out to the ramp and Windham comes in.  Douglas and Steamboat double team him.  When the match straightens out again, Pillman tags in Windham.  Steamboat wants the tag, and Douglas obliges.  Steamboat dominates the exchange and tags Douglas back in.  Douglas and Steamboat basically take turns dominating Windham for a little while.  Windham finally hits a jawbreaker to escape a rear chin lock from Douglas and tags in Pillman.  A Douglas dropkick causes Pillman to take a spill out of the ring and hit the guardrail.  Pillman comes back in and dropkicks Douglas, who was on the top rope, and this time Douglas takes a spill to the outside.  The heels work over Douglas.  While the referee is busy dealing with Pillman, Steamboat wallops Windham with a chair.  Douglas tries to tag out, but Windham tags in Pillman first.  Pillman prevents the tag, so Douglas continutes to take the heat.  Douglas counters a suplex attempt from Windham and makes the hot tag to Steamboat.  Steamboat cleans house briefly until Windham gets the advantage on him.  Pillman throws Steamboat over the top rope, which in 1992 WCW was an automatic DQ, but the referee didn’t see it.  Pillman does a neat move on Steamboat.  Windham beats up Steamboat, but Steamboat starts fighting back.  Pillman tags in, and so does Douglas.  All four fight in the ring until Steamboat and Windham go outside, leaving the legal men in the ring.  Douglas hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Pillman to win the match at 20:02.  Good match.  It was probably even better in 1992.

Okerlund introduces the next match.

#22
Starrcade, 12/27/98
WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Bill Goldberg (c) vs. Kevin Nash.  Schiavone, Heenan, and Mike Tenay are on commentary.  I have this show on VHS, but I haven’t watched it in a while.  Goldberg is 173-0 at this point.  They excite the crowd with their taunts, then lock up.  Nash grabs a headlock, but Goldberg hits a backdrop suplex to counter it.  Nash makes my head explode by going for a cross armbreaker.  Goldberg goes for an ankle hold and my head reassembles itself, then explodes again.  Goldberg hits the spear and sets up for the Jackhammer, but Nash hits a low blow to get out of it.  Nash hits a big sidewalk slam for a near fall.  Nash stays in control until Goldberg hits a mule kick and starts fighting back.  Goldberg hits a Roll of the Dice and a double-arm suplex type thing.  Goldberg hits a kick to Nash’s head, similar to the one that would end Bret Hart’s career one year later at the same event.  Disco Inferno runs in and gets speared.  Bam Bam Bigelow attacks Goldberg from behind, but gets clotheslined over the top rope.  Scott Hall zaps Goldberg with a cattle prod.  Nash hits the Jackknife Powerbomb for the win at 11:20.  Nash wins the title and ends Goldberg’s streak.

Okerlund introduces the next match, the 1991 Battlebowl.  The winners of a series of random drawing tag team matches advance to a 2 ring battle royal.  The match starts in ring #1.  You are eliminated from ring #1 by being thrown into ring #2, then eliminated from the match if you are thrown out of ring #2.

#21
Starrcade, 12/29/91
BattleBowl Battle Royal featuring Vader, Marcus Alexander Bagwell, Jimmy Garvin, Dustin Rhodes, Bill Kazmaier, Jushin Thunder Liger, WCW World Television Champion, “Stunning” Steve Austin, Richard Morton, Todd Champion, Abdullah the Butcher, Firebreaker Chip, Thomas Rich, Ron Simmons, Ricky Steamboat, Mr. Hughes, Scott Steiner, WCW World Heavyweight Champion Lex Luger (w/ Harley Race), WCW United States Heavyweight Champion Rick Rude (w/ Paul E. Dangerously), Arn Anderson, and Sting.  Ross and Schiavone are on commentary.  There are a couple of spots early on where guys get thrown over the top rope onto the ramp, but you have to be thrown into the second ring.  Tommy Rich is the first man thrown into ring #2.  Young Bagwell is next into the second ring.  Rich beats him up.  Hughes sends Firebreaker chip over.  Morton and Liger end up in the second ring as well.  Liger finally has room to move and someone to work with and shows how awesome he is.  Liger eliminates Morton from he match, but goes out himself as well.  Mr. Hughes is thrown into ring #2.  Vader beats up Dustin Rhodes outside the ring.  Tommy Rich gets eliminated.  Simmons and Luger brawl on the ramp.  Garvin and Champion are in ring #2 now.  Garvin is eliminated.  Kazmaier, Abdullah, Austin, Rhodes, Simmons, Sting, and Rude are all in ring #2 now.  Vader and Luger are the only guys left in the first ring.  Firebreaker Chip is eliminated.  Luger clotheslines Vader out of ring #1.  He wins ring #1, or something.  Abdullah is eliminated.  Apparently Luger gets to rest in ring #1 until there is only one guy left in ring #2, then then those two will go at it.  Rhodes eliminates Anderson.  Rhodes, Simmons, and Hughes are eliminated.  Vader eliminates Bagwell, then I think Sting eliminates Vader.  Steiner was eliminated by someone.  Ring #2 is down to Austin, Steamboat, Sting, and Rude.  There’s a cool double Picture In Picture thing where you can see the match from three angles at once.  Austin is eliminated.  Rude tosses Steamboat, but Steamboat skins the cat and eliminates Rude.  Rude pulls Steamboat off and eliminates him as well.  Sting vs. Luger now.  Rude comes in and gives Sting the Rude Awakening.  Luger punishes Sting.  Sting fights off interference from Race.  Luger knocks Sting off the ramp and into the guardrail.  Sting makes a comeback and kicks Luger’s ass all over the ringside area.  They make it back in the ring.  Sting is FIRED UP!  Race comes in and takes a suplex from Sting.  Sting goes for the Stinger Splash on Luger, but Luger moves.  Luger throws Sting and thinks he’s won, but Sting holds on and comes back in to kick Luger’s ass some more.  Sting eliminates Luger to win the match at 25:09.  This was an odd concept.  I thought it was silly, and I’m a battle royal mark.

Tully Blanchard introduces the next match.

#20
Starrcade, 12/27/93
WCW United States Heavyweight Championship Match (2/3 Falls): Dustin Rhodes (c) vs. Steve Austin (w/ Colonel Robert Parker).  Schiavone and Ventura are on commentary.  Rhodes shines early.  Austin bails out to consult Parker for a moment.  Rhodes gets a backslide, but can’t hold on to it.  They brawl at ringside until Austin takes a spill into and over the guardrail.  Back in the ring, Austin wants to shake Dustin’s hand.  Dustin slugs him instead.  Austin uses underhanded tactics to get the advantage.  Dustin fights back and hits a sunset flip for a near fall.  Rhodes is DQ’d at 13:26, I guess for throwing Austin over the top rope.  The lights go wonky as the second fall begins.  Austin is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Dustin punches Austin in the corner, but Austin pushes him away and gets a quick pin at 16:16.  Okay match.

Wow, I made it through Disc 1 in one sitting!

TNA iMPACT! 6/10/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

Ugh, here we go again.

“Last week on iMPACT!..” music video.

“A Flair For The Dramatic.”

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Kurt Angle returns to the ring!  Also, they’ll show “never before seen footage” of Sting’s attack on Jeff Jarrett of Sacrifice.  Probably the exact same footage they showed last week, but now it’s never been seen.

AJ Styles, Desmond Wolfe, Kazarian, and Beer Money come out.  Styles says that he’s in charge in Flair’s absence.  He says they’re in an 8-man tag, then does some first grade math.  He says 5 guys in a group doesn’t work, and makes reference to the Beatles, the Fantastic 4, and the Four Horsemen.  He tries to kick Kazarian out of the group.  Jay Lethal comes out, this week playing the role of Ric Flair.  He does do a great Flair impersonation.  Lethal introduces his team for the 8-man tag: Abyss and Mr. Anderson.  Styles notes that that’s only 3.  Lethal says Abyss counts as 2.  The faces rush the ring and brawl with the 5 heels.  To the shock of absolutely no one, Jeff Hardy makes the save (running in through the crowd).  Man, this show is horribly written.

Weird backstage video promo with Brian Kendrick.

Brian Kendrick vs. Homicide.  Yes, Homicide is still employed.  TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams comes out to do commentary.  They lock up.  Homicide lands some punches that Kendrick sells like shotgun blasts.  Kendrick fights back.  Homicide goes for the Cop Killa, but Kendrick counters.  Homicide beats up Kendrick some more.  Homicide hits an Exploder for 2.  Homicide hits a Michinoku Driver II for 2.  Homicide continues beating up Kendrick.  Homicide unwraps his wrist tape to use.  The referee takes it away, so Homicide uses the tap from the other wrist to choke Kendrick.  Kendrick makes a comeback.  He knocks Homicide out to the ramp and ramps his head into the ramp.  Homicide empties out a toolbox from under the ring and grabs a screwdriver.  The referee takes it away.  Kendrick kicks Homicide in the face for the pin in 6:02.  Very oddly structured match.  At least Kendrick didn’t do the job right before his PPV title shot.

Ink Inc. and Team 3D are in the back.  Apparently Moore, Devon, and security are trying to hold Ray and Neal back from fighting.

Ink Inc. are in the ring.  Neal calls out Brother Ray.  Team 3D come out.  Agents (including Terry Taylor and Pat Kenney) try to keep order.  Neal accuses Bubba of laying them out and putting cards on them.  Bubba cuts a promo about how great he is and how Neal is nothing, just to show what a big prick he is.  Bubba calls more a bitch.  Moore calls Bubba a bully and a douchebag.  Well, he’s right.  Moore calls Devon Bubba’s puppet.  Devon cuts a promo on Moore, then tells Bubba to get his head straight and leave Neal alone.  Devon leaves.  Ray cheap shots Neal and runs away.

Slammiversary commercial.

They show Sting’s beat down of Jeff Jarrett from Sacrifice.  Fast forward.

Jeff Jarrett comments NEXT!

Eric Bischoff and Miss Tessmacher are with Matt Morgan backstage.  Morgan wants to know who his partner is at Slammiversary.  Bischoff says he has a partner for Morgan and his tag title rematch is next.

Jeff Jarrett talks about Sting destroying him.

Matt Morgan comes out.  Hulk Hogan follows and talks about Morgan being a prick.  He introduces Morgan’s partner, the returning Hernandez.  Hernandez kicks Morgan’s ass.  Hogan joins Tenay and Taz for commentary.  Hernandez chokes Morgan with his towel.  Hogan books Hernandez vs. Morgan for Slammiversary.  Geeks come out to put Morgan on a stretcher.  Wasn’t there supposed to be a tag title match somewhere in here?  Ah, here comes The Band.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, & Eric Young (c) vs. Matt Morgan.  Young pins Morgan on the stretcher in 17 seconds.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam.  Sting jumps RVD from behind and chokes him out, then steals the belt.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

People check on RVD.  He realizes his belt is gone and he’s pissed.

Kurt Angle comes out and cuts a promo.  He asked his X Divison friend to wrestle him tonight, and to hold nothing back.

Kurt Angle vs. Amazing Red.  They shake hands and lock up.  Red does his stuff and Angle hangs with him.  Angle hits a belly to belly suplex and a European uppercut.  Red side steps Angle and sends him outside.  Red goes for a dive, but Angle avoids it.  Red jumps off the apron and hits a rana.  Back inside, Angle NAILS Red with a clothesline.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Red hits a DDT.  Red hits a jumping DDT for 2.  Angle hits a German suplex.  Red arm drages out of an Angle Slam attempt and hits a sick rana head drop and the Red Star Press for 2.  Angle avoids the Infra Red and hits the Angle Slam for the pin in 3:44.  Fun little match.  I wish Angle would stop getting dropped on his head and shit, though.  Angle helps Red up, raises his hand, and hugs him.

Sting talks to or about the World Championship belt.  He has “Deception” written on the belt.

Slammiversary hype video.

RVD goes to look for Sting in his clubhouse, or wherever the fuck Sting hangs out up there.

AJ Styles, Beer Money, & Desmond Wolfe vs. Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson, Abyss (w/ Chelsea), & Jay Lethal.  Roode and Lethal brawl to start.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow smash.  All of the faces deck Roode.  Abyss tags in.  Beer Money try to double team Abyss, but get fought off.  Anderson tags in against Storm.  Anderson and Hardy make quick tags and work over Storm’s arm.  Wolfe gets the tag and wrestles with Hardy.  Hardy hits a suplex for 2.  Styles tags in to work over Hardy.  Styles hits a knee drop for 2.  The heels isolate Hardy on their side of the ring and work him over.  Hardy reverses Wolfe into Beer Money’s boots.  Clusterfuck ensues briefly.  Hardy gets beaten up by the heels.  Double suplex by BEER!  MONEY!  Roode hits a knee drop for 2.  Roode hits the bottom rope decapitator thing for 2.  Lethal gets the tag, but the referee misses it and doesn’t allow it.  The heels continue beating up Hardy.  Hardy hits a jawbreaker on Styles, then drops him with a kick.  Hardy makes the hot tag to Lethal, who runs wild.  Lethal hits a move on Styles and covers, but Wolfe saves.  Everybody starts hitting signature moves.  Nigel hits the jawbreaker lariat on Abyss, then asks Chelsea for the chair she’s sitting in.  She hesitates, but Wolfe gets the chair.  Abyss punches it into his face.  Styles hits Abyss with the springboard forearm.  Lethal goes for a rana, but Styles catches him and hits the Styles Clash for the pin in 10:50.  Pretty good match.  I’m shocked they actually got some time and it wasn’t mostly commercials.

Sting isn’t in his clubhouse, he’s somewhere else.  Commercials.

RVD shows up at wherever Sting is.  Sting jumps him from behind and kicks his ass.  RVD fights back.  They brawl all over backstage and throw each other into shit.  They eventually make it to the ring.  RVD takes off Sting’s coat and the belt and continues to beat him up.  RVD wedges a chair between the top and middle turnbuckles.  They fight some more.  RVD lands a superkick.  Sting sends RVD’s head into the chair, then hits him in the back with the chair.  Sting says the belt is RVD’s until Sunday.  This whole thing was stupid.

There was some good stuff on this show, but as always, there was a bunch of crap and the writing is just fucking horrible.

TNA iMPACT 5/27/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2010 by Grappleholic

Let’s just get through this…

“Last week…” video.

“The Enigma And The A-H***.”  They need to stop naming this shitty shows.

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are announcers.  Jeremy Borash is ring announcer.  Tonight, the Beautiful People defend the Knockouts Tag Team title against Taylor Wilde & Sarita, The Band vs. Team 3D vs. Ink Inc., and something with Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy.  Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal, who they seem to be trying to get over.  Sting has been routinely fucking shit up with his bat.

Jeff Hardy comes out and calls out Mr. Anderson.  Anderson talks about confusing people.  This fucking show definitely confuses me.  Anderson says he’s an asshole.  I feel like an asshole for watching this piece of shit.  Anderson wants Jeff to embrace his assholiness.  He sings an asshole song.  This is stupid.  Why do I do this to myself?  AJ Styles, Ric Flair, Beer Money, and Desmond Wolfe come out.  Styles says he has a match with “you” tonight.  He doesn’t specify who “you” is.  We finally figure out that it’s Anderson, who Styles calls “butt munch.”  Anderson wants to introduce himself to Styles.  He has been content with a regular microphone up to this point, but now calls for his hanging mic so he can do his intro.  Anderson Anderson.  End of segment.  I hate myself for watching this show.

Team 3D/Ink Inc. video package.  They’re already in the ring for their match.

Non-Title Three-Way Match: Team 3D vs. Ink Inc. vs. TNA World Tag Team Champions The Band.  Young and Moore start.  Nash and Hall are both on the apron, so I guess it’s 2 on 2 on 3.  Ink Inc. double team Young.  Young fights back and beats up Neal.  Ray blind tags himself in and goes after Neal.  Ray beats up Neal.  Devon tags himself in.  Ray is annoyed.  Devon pushes Neal to his corner to make the tag to Moore.  Moore gets a sunset flip for 2.  Neal tags in.  Brother Ray blind tags in again and clotheslines Ink Inc. in the back of the head.  Ray beats up Neal.  Ray grabs a chair out of the front row.  The Band drops off the apron.  Devon takes the chair away.  Neal spears Ray for the pin in 4:49.  This was stupid.  3D argue.  Ray challenges Neal to a match at Slammiversary.  3D argue some more.

Christy Hemme interviews Kazarian.  Ric Flair comes in.  They’re friends now, apparently.  AJ Styles comes in and says he’s been looking for Flair all day, even though they were JUST TOGETHER ON TV 10 FUCKING MINUTES AGO.

One of those weirdly shot stupid backstage videos with Rob Van Dam talking about Sting.

Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal.  Lethal shines early.  Swank springboard rana by Lethal, followed by a tope suicida.  Lethal continues to shine.  Ric Flair comes out.  Kazarian takes advantage of the distraction to jump all over Lethal.  Kazarian beats up Lethal as Flair looks on approvingly.  Lethal makes his comeback.  Moonsault body block gets 2 for Lethal.  Kazarian hits a jawbreaker.  Lethal rallies and locks in the figure-four leglock.  Flair gets on the apron and encourages Kazarian to get a rope break, which he finally does.  Lethal decks Flair.  Kazarian schoolboys Lethal and grabs a handful of tights for the pin in 4:41.  Decent little match that furthers a storyline without giving me a headache, so I approve.  Flair beats down Lethal.  Lethal makes his own comeback and chops the shit out of Flair.  Flair takes his face bump.  Lethal clears Flair out of the ring.  AJ Styles runs down and jumps Lethal.  Styles and Kazarian start arguing.  Lethal dropkicks them in the arms to send them out of the ring.  Okay, so this turned out a little overbooked, but it’s TNA, so you kinda have to grade on a curve.  I still approve.  Flair berates Styles.

Tonight, RVD calls out Sting!  Also, Styles vs. Anderson!

Shannon Moore is laid out backstage with an Ace of Spades card on his back.  The fuck?

Video of the Abyss/Desmond Wolfe/Chelsea story.

Orlando Jordan comes out with pink stickers on his nipples.  They show his injuring of Rob Terry’s knee last week.

Orlando Jordan vs. Abyss (w/ Chelsea).  The stickers on Jordan’s nipples are of Abyss.  Ugh.  Jordan attacks Abyss’ arm.  Abyss rips the pasty things off and back body drops Jordan.  Jordan avoids Abyss in the corner and Abyss hits the arm that was cut open by a glass bottle last week.  Jordan viciously attacks the arm and rips the bandage off.  One of the pasty things is still attached.  Why do I notice these things?  Abyss makes his comeback.  A faceplant that I think of as a reverse powerbomb gets 2.  Abyss sends Jordan outside and follows.  Jordan shoves Abyss into Chelsea.  Abyss looks concerned, but goes back to queer bashing before turning around to check on her.  Desmond Wolfe appears and hits Abyss with a pipe to cause the DQ in 4:42.  Wolfe and Jordan beat down Abyss.  Rob Terry makes the save.  Wolfe bails, but Jordan takes the Freak Buster.  This sucked.  Abyss carries Chelsea to the back.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam is headed our way to call out Sting!

Sting heel dickery video package.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam comes to the ring and addresses Sting.  Sting’s music plays and a video of him destroying RVD plays.  Sting appears in the rafters and talks to RVD briefly.  He basically just says he’ll win the title at Slammiversary.

In one of those stupid, poorly shot things, Hulk Hogan talks to Ken Anderson.

A midget wrestling commercial.

Puppet the Psycho Dwarf has joined Tenay and Taz to hype the new midget wrestling show.

Christy Hemme interviews Roxxi.  They show the sick ankle break again.  She gets a Knockouts title shot at Slammiversary.  She’s so stoked to learn this.  She has negative charisma.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: The Beautiful People (c) (w/ TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne) vs. Taylor Wilde & Sarita.  Jobber entrance for the challengers, who just a few months ago were one of my favorite tag teams and put me in mind of a female Rock & Roll Express.  Sarita and Velvet start.  Sarita is still pretty awesome.  Wilde seems kind of awkward in the ring lately.  They challengers make quick tags and work over Velvet.  Lacey cheap shots Wilde, then tags in and hits a claw bomb for the pin in 2:22.  So disappointing.  Remember when the Knockouts division was worth watching?  Puppet goes to the ring and celebrates with the Beautiful People.  He slaps Velvet’s ass and draws their ire.  Rayne hits a DDT on Puppet, then they put the boots to him.  Stupid.  Lacey shows sympathy and checks on Puppet and the roll around the ring and make out.  Okay.

Stupidly shot backstage thing with Jeff Hardy.

House show plugs.

Kurt Angle comes out to join Tenay and Taz for commentary.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Jeff Hardy.  Instead of locking up, Wolfe headbutts Hardy in the mid-section and goes to work.  Fucking alternating chants.  Hardy does his weird leg drop to the legs cover thing for 2.  Wolfe beats up Hardy some more.  Hardy fights back.  They end up outside.  Wolfe surprises Hardy with a shot while Hardy was fucking around posing, then throws him back in the ring.  Wolfe goes for the Tower of London, but Hardy avoids it.  Wolfe hits a running European uppercut to the corner.  Wolfe counters the Twist of Fate and hits the Divorce Court for 2.  Hardy goes for something off the top and bumps the referee.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate, but the ref is dead.  Wolfe hits Hardy with a slap jack for the pin in 5:52.  Fine little match.

Commercial for a Ric Flair impersonation contest.  Seriously.

Matt Morgan is in the ring.  He bitches about the various injustices he has suffered.  He invites anyone to be his tag partner at Slammiversary.  He calls for “the bald guy” Kurt Angle to come down.  Security tries to get in the way for some reason, but Morgan waives them off.  He makes like Angle is some green rookie.  They chat, then Morgan shoves Angle.  Morgan tries to bail, but Angle kicks his ass until security pulls him off.  Samoa Joe comes down.  Morgan leaves.  Joe and Angle have a stare down, then Angle leaves.  Stupid, stupid segment.

Tenay and Taz hype the Slammiversary card.

AJ Styles vs. Ken Anderson.  Entrances.  Commercials.  Bell.  They lock up, then do nothing.  Styles grabs a side headlock.  Anderson eventually reverses it and grounds Styles with his headlock.  Styles counters into a head scissors.  Nice mat work.  They get to their feet and trade blows.  Styles hits some LOUD chops.  Fuck, the crowd is annoying.  Styles hits a dropkick.  Anderson catches Styles out of nowhere and hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  Styles drops Anderson with a kick.  Cover gets 2.  Styles beats up Anderson.  Anderson fights back.  Anderson hits a cross body, but Styles rolls through and gets the pin with his legs in the ropes at 5:52.  Two matches in a row lasting the exact same time?  That’s kind of amusing.  Good match, though.  Anderson calls for his special mic and gives AJ props.  Anderson asks the crowd if AJ pulled his tights.  Crowd chants “YES HE DID!”  Anderson kicks AJ’s ass.  Beer Money run in and attack Anderson.  Jeff Hardy makes the save with a steel chair.  Hardy and Anderson back into each other and almost come to blows, then shake hands.

Besides a few passable matches, this show fucking blew.  I don’t know why I watch this shit.  I hate it, but I can’t stop for some reason.  I hate almost everything about this company.  I hate the booker, the fans, the management, and the production, but I like a lot of the wrestlers.  I guess I watch to support the wrestlers I like.  Is it really worth it?

TNA iMPACT! 5/20/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2010 by Grappleholic

Sacrifice highlight video.

“10 Card Stud”

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Tonight, the Top 10 Contenders will be announced!  Tonight, there will be an announcement regarding the main event of tonight’s show.  Well I fucking hope so.  Also, Kurt Angle returns.

Eric Bischoff comes out with Miss Tessmacher.  Bischoff introduces the top 10 contenders.  Each guy comes out to the ramp and they show a brief video package.  #10 is Samoa Joe.  #9 is TNA Global Champion Rob Terry.  #8 is Desmond Wolfe.  #7 is “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  #6 Abyss.  #5 is Mr. Anderson.  #4 is Jeff Hardy.  #3 is AJ Styles.  #2 is Kurt Angle (who doesn’t come out).  Crowd chants “WE WANT ANGLE!”  #1 is Sting.  WHAT THE FUCK?  These rankings are motherfucking retarded.  Sting comes to the ring.  Crowd chants “WE WANT A RECOUNT!”  Bischoff books Sting vs. Jeff Hardy for tonight.  Sting smashes the stupid poster things in the ring, the hits Abyss with the bat.  Abyss tries to make the save, but gets owned.  Hardy takes the bat from Sting.  Hardy slaps Sting.  Sting kicks Hardy in the balls and takes his bat back.  TNA World Champion Rob Van Dam comes out.  Hardy clips Sting’s leg and hits the Twist of Fate.  Hardy goes up top, but Sting leaves.  Just to recap, Sting vs. Hardy tonight and Sting vs. RVD for the World Title at Slammiversary.  This was all stupid.

Moments ago, some shitty booking was played out.

Matt Morgan bitches to Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff.  “They” want “their” rematch for the tag titles.

Roxxi, who looks totally different from the last time I saw her, comes out.  They show her breaking her ankle in a match against Ayako Hamada on New Years’ Eve.

Non-Title: Roxxi vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne.  Roxxi seems freakishly tall.  She’s all over Rayne to start.  Rayne avoids a shot and attacks her.  Knee lift gets 1.  Rayne works Roxxi’s face.  Seriously.  Roxxi hits the Voodoo Drop for the pin in 2:42.  Whatever.  Rayne is pissed.

Chelsea bitches at Desmond Wolfe about having to be Abyss’ property for 30 days.  Wolfe reassures her.

Kurt Angle arrives with a goatee and refuses to answer some geek’s questions.

Kurt Angle music video.

Kurt Angle comes out and talks for a while.  He says he’s taking himself out of the #1 contender spot and he’s going to wrestle every one of the top contenders.

Christy Hemme talks to Ric Flair and Beer Money.  Beer Money are facing Jay Lethal and a partner tonight.  Kazarian comes in.  He wants to talk to Flair.

Tonight, Sting vs. Hardy.

Rob Terry says he has a knee injury, and he’s wrestling with it tonight.

Jeremy Borash is still doing ring announcing.

Non-Title: TNA Global Champion Rob Terry vs. Orlando Jordan.  Why the fuck are we doing this again?  Jordan goes on the attack.  Terry fights back.  Earl Hebner gets knocked down.  Jordan gets back dropped.  Cover gets 2.  Jordan attacks the injured knee and works it over.  Jordan locks in a knee bar.  Terry refuses to tap, but Hebner stops it and gives Jordan the win in 2:58.  It served its purpose, so I have no complaints.  Jordan attacks Terry again after the match and puts the hold back on.

Jay Lethal talks about his issues with Ric Flair.  Rob Van Dam offers to be his partner.  Lethal agrees.

Jeff Hardy applies his makeup and talks about idolizing Sting when he was a child.

Ink Inc. barge into Team 3D’s locker room.  Neal bitches at Bubba about the shit he pulled at the PPV, which was a dick move.  Neal and Bubba come to blows.

Beer Money vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam & AJ Styles.  Lethal has his own music and gear and is no longer doing the Black Machismo gimmick.  Roode Pearl Harbors Lethal to start the match.  Lethal fights back.  Lethal goes up top, but Roode shoves him off.  Beer Money put the boots to Lethal.  Roode tags in and works him over.  Lethal gets turned inside out by a clothesline.  Beer Money hit a double back body drop on Lethal.  Roode takes over the punishment.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow smash and makes the tag to RVD.  RVD runs wild briefly, then gets cut off by Roode.  RVD rallies and hits the flying kick.  Cover, but Roode saves.  Lethal blind tags in and hits a missile dropkick on Roode.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder.  Lethal locks Roode in the figure-four leglock.  RVD takes Storm out with a dive.  Roode submits to Lethal’s figure-four in 3:56.  Fun little tag match.  Ric Flair comes out and brawls with Lethal.  They brawl to the back.  RVD celebrates some more and slaps hands with fans.  A fan in a Sting mask hits RVD with a chair.  He takes off the mask to reveal… Sting!  Okay, that was fucking awesome.  Sting hits RVD again and leaves.

Recap of the shit Sting has pulled so far tonight.

Jeff Hardy is in the ring.  He cuts a promo on Sting and leaves.

Security tells Desmond Wolfe “It’s time.”  Wolfe tells Chelsea it’s going to be okay and bitches out the security guards.

Abyss comes to the ring and calls for Desmond Wolfe to bring him his new property.  Security brings Chelsea out, with Wolfe trailing behind and still acting all pissed off.  Abyss says he made Wolfe his bitch at Sacrifice, and tonight he’s taking his bitch.  Wolfe says Abyss will take Chelsea over his dead body.  He kicks Abyss and the security guards in the balls, then beats up the security guards.  I think they need better security.  Wolfe takes a glass bottle from Chelsea, breaks it, and threatens Abyss with it.  Wolfe cuts Abyss’ arm, then bitches at Chelsea.  Abyss’ arm is bleeding.  He knocks the bottle away and hits the Black Hole Slam on Wolfe.  Abyss carries Chelsea away, presumably to fuck repeatedly.

House show plugs.

TNA World Tag Team Champions The Band are in the ring.  Eric Young cuts a promo about having joined The Band.

Eric Young (w/ TNA World Tag Team Champions Kevin Nash & Scott Hall) vs. Shannon Moore (w/ Jesse Neal).  Young attacks.  Moore responds with lots of moves.  Young beats up Moore some more.  Diving elbow drop gets 2.  Young keeps the heat on.  Hebner catches Nash trying to interfere and stops him, but Young is doing fine on his own.  Young makes his comeback.  Brother Ray comes out.  Jesse Neal attacks him on the ramp.  Brother Devon comes out to break it up.  Hall hits Moore in the back with the belt.  Young hits a piledriver for the pin in 3:41.  It’s nice to see someone using the piledriver as a finish again.  Brother Ray attacks Neal again, just because he’s a dick.  He and Devon argue.

Sting vs. Hardy is still to come.

Taz and Tenay talk about the situation with Team 3D and Jesse Neal.

X Division Battle Royal featuring The Motor City Machine Guns of Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley, Generation Me of Max Buck & Jeremy Buck, Kazarian, Homicide, and Amazing Red.  No entrances, everyone is just in the ring and start brawling.  The winner becomes #10 contender since Angle gave up his spot so everyone else moves up a spot.  Kazarian eliminates Red.  Bucks double team the Guns.  Sabin eliminates Max by dropkicking him off the apron.  Shelley gets eliminated by Jeremy.  Sabin eliminates Jeremy.  Ric Flair comes out.  Kazarian eliminates Sabin.  Homicide attacks Kazarian.  Brian Kendrick comes in and eliminates Homicide.  He’s in the match, but nobody knew it until now, because there were no entrances on TV and he wasn’t in the ring when the match started.  Kazarian withstands Kendrick’s attack and throws him out to win it in 2:52.  There’s some sort of connection with Flair and Kazarian now.

Sting vs. Hardy is NEXT!

Sting vs. Jeff Hardy.  They lock up.  Sting is the aggressor early.  Hardy fights back.  Sting bails.  After a minute, Hardy hits a baseball slide dropkick.  He goes for a dive, but Sting avoids it.  Sting rams Hardy’s knee against the ramp a couple of times, then continues beating Hardy up back in the ring.  FUCKING ALTERNATING CHANTS AGAIN.  Hardy avoids the Stinger Splash and makes his comeback.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Sting avoids the Whisper In The Wind and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hardy gets a rope break.  Ref bump.  Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Drop.  Mr. Anderson sneaks in and hits a Scorpion Death Drop on Sting.  It’s sloppy.  Hardy pins Sting in 5:40.  Not much of a match.  Anderson tries to make friends with Hardy again.  Sting kills them both with the bat.

Not the worst iMPACT! ever by any means.

TNA Sacrifice 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo. Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers LIVE from Orlando. Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Three-Way Match to determine the #1 Contenders for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money vs. Team 3D.  Shelley and Roode start.  Always good stuff with the Guns and Beer Money.  Shelley plants Roode with a Mysterio-esque flippy bulldog for 2.  Roode hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Storm tags in, avoids a superkick, bails, and gets superkicked by Sabin.  Guns double team Roode.  Guns double team Storm.  Storm catches Sabin with a knee.  Brother Ray tags himself in and beats up Sabin.  3D work over Sabin.  Shelley breaks a cover by Devon.  Sabin rallies and goes for a dive, but Brother Ray avoids it.  Devon continues to beat up Sabin.  Roode breaks a cover.  Ray tags in, drops Sabin, and decks Beer Money.  Sabin avoids a diving senton and makes the hot tag to Shelley.  Shelley tries to run wild, but 3D don’t sell for him.  They catch a cross body and Sabin dropkicks it over.  Guns start to run wild.  Sabin hits a tope suicida on Storm.  Shelley goes for a dive on Ray and misses.  Roode tags in and beats up Shelley.  Beer Money double teams Shelley.  BEER!  MONEY!  Storm hits a hangman’s neckbreaker on Shelley for 2.  Beer Money continues getting heat on Shelley.  Sabin gets the tag and runs wild on Beer Money.  Nice diving rana on Roode.  Springboard suicide cross body on Storm.  Springboard tornado DDT on Roode.  Cover, but Devon saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Ray throws Sabin outside to the ramp.  3D hit the Doomsday Device on Roode.  Sabin hits a springboard cross body on Ray for 2.  Ray sends Sabin outside again.  3D goes for the 3D on Roode, but Storm spits beer in Bubba’s face.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Ray.  Guns double team people.  They hit the neckbreaker/cross body combo on Ray and Sabin gets the pin in 13:14.  Very good opener.

Tenay and Taz talk about the retarded fucking angle with Desmond Wolfe, Chelsea, and Abyss from iMPACT!  “Local authorities are investigating Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea for filing false police reports.”

Global Tale of the Tape.

TNA Global Championship Match: Rob Terry (c) vs. Orlando Jordan.  Jordan is lowered to the ring and prances around like a fairy.  See, because that’s his gimmick.  Terry is all business and kicks his ass and throws him around.  Sidewalk slam gets 2.  Jordan hits a weak kick.  Terry hits a not so weak spin kick.  Terry clotheslines Jordan outside to the ramp.  Jordan tries to crawl to the back.  Terry cuts him off and throws him back in.  Terry hits the running powerslam for the… 2 count.  Fuck.  Jordan begs off, then attacks Terry’s leg.  Jordan works the leg.  For a long time.  Jordan hits a knee drop and a very homoerotic cover gets 2.  Jordan goes for a diving knee drop, but Terry moves to avoid it.  Terry recovers and hits a chokeslam for the pin in 7:46.  Not good, but still not as terrible as I expected.  Jordan clips Terry’s knee from behind as Terry walks up the ramp.  Jordan drives Terry’s knee into the belt.

Team 3D bitch in the locker room.  Ink Inc. come in for a chat.  Team 3D are mad because Ink Inc. have the audacity to think they can take care of The Band.

Kazarian/Doug Williams video package.  X Factors.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Doug Williams.  Williams, of course, still has possession of the belt.  They lock up.  Nothing comes of it.  They do some ground wrestling, which always pleases me.  Tenay says Kazarian’s “sabbatical” from TNA could have been “career suicide.”  I got the joke and chuckled.  Kazarian works the arm.  Kazarian does a weird roll that puts Williams near the ropes, so Williams grabs the ropes with his legs.  Kazarian goes back to working the arm.  Back and forth mat wrestling.  That puts such joy into my heart.  Williams goes the apron to escape a hold.  Kazarian hits an arm whip and Williams takes a bump off the apron.  Kazarian hits a springboard Oklahoma roll for 2.  They go back and forth on a test of strength.  Williams locks on a necktie/surfboard move.  Kazarian reverses the necktie.  Williams gets a rope break.  Kazarian superkicks him and goes for the Flux Capacitor, but Williams avoids it and sends Kazarian into the ramp.  Williams hits a hangman’s neckbreaker on the apron.  Williams gets a front face lock and rams Kazarian’s face into the apron.  Williams goes back to the front face lock.  Kazarian turns it into a slingshot, then dropkicks Williams off the apron.  Kazarian hits a slingshot suicide cross body.  Back inside.  Kazarian gets rolling on offense.  Swinging neckbreaker gets 2.  Kazarian turns a Chaos Theory attempt into a front cradle for 2.  Kazarian gets a backslide for 2.  Williams backdrops Kazarian to the apron.  Kazarian hits a slingshot DDT for 2.  More happens.  It’s awesome.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver, gets countered, but gets a cradle for 2.  He goes for it again and gets countered and powerbombed into the corner.  Williams hits a weird twisting brainbuster for 2.  Kazarian avoids the Chaos Theory again and hits a swinging Complete Shot for 2.  Kazarian goes for an electric chair suplex, but Williams counters and hits the Chaos Theory for the pin in 13:53.  Really damn good match.  Poor Kazarian was champion for a month and never got to wear the belt.

Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea bicker about their possible legal and other issues.  Chelsea says she doesn’t want the ring anymore and urges Wolfe to call the whole thing off.  Wolfe says he wants to win to move up in the rankings.

Tara/Madison Rayne video package.  Knockouts Tale of the Tape.

TNA Knockouts Championship vs. Tara’s Career: Madison Rayne (c) (w/ TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich) vs. Tara.  Rayne tells the other Beautiful People to leave before the match.  Tara jumps her to start.  Rayne counters an early Widow’s Peak attempt.  Geeze, TNA Mutants, are alternating chants really necessary for THIS match?  Tara beats up Rayne on the outside.  Rayne hits her head on the post.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cradle sequence, which I always enjoy.  Tara throws Rayne around.  Suplex into the guillotine.  Rayne fights free.  Rayne hits some weak clotheslines to get rolling on offense.  Tara hits a stronger clothesline to cut her off.  Rayne counters the Widow’s Peak again.  Tara finally hits it, but Rayne rolls out of the ring.  Tara throws her back in.  Rayne fights back.  Tara hits a slam and a moonsault press for 2.  Tara stomps Rayne’s belly and goes for another moonsault, but Rayne moves.  Rayne hits kind of a reverse Playmaker for the pin in 6:28.  Not bad.  So Cal Val hands Tara the spider cage.  She takes the spider out to show it off.  Weird.  Security comes to escort her out.  Tara bows to everyone and leaves.

Christy Hemme interviews The Band.  Young talks about joining The Band.  Nash explains that the tag titles will be defended under the Freebird rule.  He then addresses Ink Inc.

Tag Lines.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Kevin Nash & Scott Hall (c) vs. Ink Inc.  Moore and Hall start.  Moore slaps Hall.  They lock up and Hall attacks Moore’s arm.  Moore rallies and hits a missile dropkick.  Why is Scott Hall wrestling on national TV in 2010?  He looks awful.  He tags out to Nash, who moves even worse.  Nash wants Neal.  Neal obliges him.  They brawl.  Hall cheap shots Neal.  Nash covers for 2.  Hall tags in and locks Neal in an abdominal stretch, using classic heel tactics to “gain leverage.”  Moore gets the hot tag and runs wild.  He hits a diving cross body on Nash, then tags in Neal.  Moore hits the Mooregasm, then decks Hall and takes him out with a dive.  Neal goes for the spear, but Nash avoids it and the ref gets speared.  Neal beats up Nash.  Eric Young comes out with a Singapore cane and throws it to Nash.  Neal avoids the blow and decks Young.  Moore distracts Nash.  Neal spears Nash.  Neal picks up the cane, but Young cuts him off and takes it away.  Brother Ray comes down and tackles Young, canes him, yells at the downed Nash, then canes Neal.  Young puts Nash on top of Neal for the pin in 8:00.  It was okay I guess.  The Band celebrates.  Brother Ray looks on with a weird look on his face.

Lowlights of the motherfucking retarded angle from iMPACT!.

Chelsea vs. Ring: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. Abyss.  Abyss jumps Wolfe during his entrance and kicks his ass.  Chelsea tries to slip away, but the referee makes her come back and sit in a fancy chair.  Abyss finally gets Wolfe into the ring to start the match.  Abyss no sells everything Wolfe tries and kicks his ass some more.  Wolfe gets the advantage and works Abyss’ arm.  Wolfe hits a bunch of shoulder blocks to no effect.  Abyss drops him with one elbow.  Wolfe goes back to working the arm.  Fucking alternating chants again.  Abyss makes his comeback.  Sidewalk slam gets 2.  Wolfe hits the Divorce Court for 2.  Nigel goes for the jawbreaker lariat, but Abyss catches him with a chokeslam.  Chelsea tries to interfere.  Abyss grabs her.  She threw a set of brass knucks to Wolfe.  Wolfe punches Abyss.  Abyss kicks out and Hulks up.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin in 9:01.  It was okay.  Abyss wins Chelsea for 30 days.  Taz says Chelsea should stock up on soap.  …The fuck?

Christy Hemme interviews Mr. Anderson.  Anderson says his fans are “Anderson’s Assholes.”  Great promo.  He comes back and scares Christy by yelling his name again.  Funny stuff.

Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Anderson.  They lock up aggressively.  Anderson’s ribs are taped from taking Hardy’s big dives on iMPACT!  “I’M AN ASSHOLE!” chants.  Yes you are, mutants.  Hardy beats up Anderson.  Anderson sends Hardy to the outside and drives him into the side of the ring.  Anderson beats up Hardy.  Anderson locks in an abdominal stretch and holds Hardy’s purple speckled belt to gain leverage.  Anderson dives off the top.  Hardy gets his legs up, but Anderson avoids hitting them and drops an elbow for 2.  Anderson drives some knees into Hardy’s back.  Alternating “Let’s Go Hardy!” and “Let’s Go Asshole!” chants.  That one I’m not as annoyed with.  Anderson continues building his heat on Hardy.  Hardy backdrops Anderson to the ramp.  Hardy gets a chair from under the ring and uses it as a springboard to hit a leg lariat back into the ring.  Neat.  They trade punches.  Hardy hits some weak clotheslines and a Sling Blade for 2.  Hardy hits a bulldog for 2.  Anderson counters a suplex and hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  Hardy counters the Mic Check.  Anderson sends him into the ropes, then hits the Mic Check for 2, as Hardy gets a rope break.  Hardy hits the front suplex and goes up top.  He drops down and hits the Twist of Fate, takes his shirt off to make the girls scream, then goes up top again.  Anderson cuts him off and goes for the Lambeau Leap off the top, but ends up landing on his face with Hardy on his back.  Fail.  Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb for the pin in 13:57.  It was okay.  Anderson recovers and offers a handshake.  Hardy refuses.  What a prick.

Christy Hemme interviews Ric Flair and AJ Styles.

Sting/Jeff Jarrett video package.

Jeff Jarrett’s music plays.  Cut to the back, where Sting is beating up a bloody Jarrett.  Sting injures Jarrett’s shoulder.  Sting brings him into the arena and beats him up some more.  Jarrett is a bloody mess.  Sting hits his leg with the bat, pulls him under the steps, and stomps the bat into the injured shoulder.  More shoulder torture with the bat.  Sting finally throws Jarrett into the ring.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the pin in 13 seconds.  Sting takes the mic and says some other guys are going to pay because of some deception game.  Referees and various other geeks come in to tend to Jarrett while Sting stalks around ominously.  Crowd chants “STING!”  Jarrett gets stretchered out.  Sting knocks the stretcher over.  Hulk Hogan comes out to threaten Sting away, or something.  Replays.  Why?

Tenay and Taz talk about how appalled they are.

Christy Hemme interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam.

RVD/Styles video package.  Tale of the Tape.  Entrances, intros, and it’s main event time!  Earl Hebner is the referee.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. AJ Styles (w/ Ric Flair).  They dick around for a full 2 minutes before making contact.  They both avoid kicks.  Styles is reprimanded for pulling RVD’s hair.  RVD ducks a shot and clotheslines Styles out of the ring, then poses some more.  Styles pulls him out of the ring and chops him.  RVD avoids a moonsault block off of the ramp and succeeds in his attempt of the same thing.  RVD gets in the ring and poses some more.  5 minutes in and little has happened.  RVD avoids a springboard and goes for the Rolling Thunder, but Flair grabs his leg.  Hebner tells Flair to leave, then shoves Flair down when Flair gets all pissed.  Styles and Flair argue with Hebner.  Flair leaves.  Hebner argues with Styles some more.  Flair joins the announcers.  Styles drops RVD on the outside, then poses in the ring.  Styles goes for a dive, but RVD avoids it.  The announcers claim he hit it, but little or no contact was made.  Back in the ring, Styles puts the boots to RVD.  Styles slams RVD and hits a knee drop for 2.  RVD drops Styles with a kick.  RVD goes to the top, but Styles shoves him off and into the ramp.  Styles works over RVD.  Styles hits a tornado DDT for 2.  Styles argues with Hebner again.  RVD takes a weird bump off of a dropkick.  Cover gets 2.  RVD hits his diving kick, then a monkey flip, then goes for the Five Star Frog Splash.  AJ avoids it and Van Dam crashes and burns.  Styles hits the springboard forearm for 2.  Tenay calls it a clothesline.  He jumped the shark as announcer years ago, but he used to be really good.  Styles gets a cradle for 2.  RVD hits a jawbreaker.  Styles hits the Pele kick for 2.  RVD avoids Styles in the corner and Styles’ face hits the top turnbuckle.  RVD hits a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Styles gets an inside cradle for 2.  RVD hits an inverted atomic drop, crotches AJ on the top rope, and hits the flying kick.  RVD goes for the Rolling Thunder again, but Styles gets his knees up.  Styles covers for 2.  Styles sells his knee.  Styles locks RVD in the Torture Rack, then turns it into a powerbomb for 2.  Nice.  Styles hits a forearm to the corner for 2.  Styles goes for the Styles Clash, gets backdropped, and turns into a sunset flip.  Cradle reversal sequence.  Double clothesline.  They get to their feet and trade blows.  RVD hits his cool leg cradle for 2.  Styles goes for the figure-four, but RVD turns it into an inside cradle for 2.  Styles hits the Phenomenon for 2.  Styles goes for the springboard 450, but RVD avoids it.  Flair leaves the booth and heads back to the ring.  Jay Lethal of all people comes out and brawls with Flair.  Lethal puts Flair in the figure-four leglock.  So Lethal has gone from being a Randy Savage impersonator to a Ric Flair impersonator.  Styles crotches RVD on the top rope and goes for a superplex.  RVD fights him off, then hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 24:47.  A very different match than you would expect from these two, but it turned out to be pretty good.  The Lethal run in was random.  Replays.  RVD celebrates.

Some weird stuff on this show, but nothing was too horrible and a few of the matches were really good.  Match of the Night honors go to Kazarian and Williams.