Archive for Savannah

WWE Fatal 4-Way 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We’re LIVE from Long Island!  Michael Cole, Matt Striker, and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts and Tony Chimel are the ring announcers.

Vince McMahon comes out and says Bret Hart won’t be there tonight.  They show the stupid bit from Raw where the NXT season 1 guys put Bret in a limo that crashed into shit.  There’s a “DANIEL BRYAN!” chant.  Drew McIntyre comes out to greet his sugar daddy on his way to the ring.  They show the stupid McIntyre/Teddy Long shit from Smackdown.  They show Vince getting in his limo and leaving.  McIntyre calls for Teddy Long to come out, saying that Vince ordered it.  Long comes out to sit at ringside for the match.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Drew McIntyre.  Kofi throws a bunch of kicks.  McIntyre heels it up a bit, then gets monkey flipped, dropkicked, and clotheslined out of the ring.  Kofi hits McIntyre with a tope suicida.  McIntyre chop blocks Kofi’s leg on the apron to get the advantage, then rams Kofi into the post.  Cover gets 2.  McIntyre grounds and pounds Kofi.  Kofi dropkicks McIntyre into the barricade.  McIntyre rams Kofi’s arm into the ring post.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  McIntyre goes to work on the arm.  Kofi arm drags his way free, slides under McIntyre, and gets dropped with a shoulder block.  McIntyre continues working the arm.  The crowd hates McIntyre, presumably in the same “just go the fuck away” way I hate him.  Kofi tries a sunset flip.  McIntyre tries to punch him to block it, but punches the mat.  McIntyre hits a Codebreaker on the arm for 2.  That was creative.  Kofi catches McIntyre with a float over DDT.  Kofi starts making a comeback.  Sunset flip gets 2.  Kofi hits a rebound cross body for 2.  McIntyre hits an enzui knee drop for 2.  Kofi hits a side Russian leg sweep and the Boom Drop.  He sets up for the Trouble In Paradise, but McIntyre backs away and backdrops Kofi to the apron.  McIntyre rams Kofi’s head into the turnbuckle and tries to backdrop suplex him back into the ring, but Kofi lands on top for 2.  McIntyre drops Kofi with a big boot.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Kofi avoids it and hits a springboard tornado DDT.  Cover, but McIntyre gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Kofi hits the corner punches, but McIntyre powerbombs him across the ring for 2.  Kofi hits the S.O.S. for 2.  Kofi gets McIntyre in a head scissors.  McIntyre pushes him off into the ref to kill him.  McIntyre sends Kofi into the post, then hits the Future Shock.  Cover, but there’s no referee.  McIntyre tries to kick the ref back to life, then throws Teddy Long into the ring.  McIntyre takes off the referee’s shirt and orders Teddy to put it on.  He orders Teddy to make the count, but Teddy stops at 2, and Kofi looks like a total geek for not being able to kick out after having all that time to recover.  McIntyre stalks Long, who begs off.  McIntyre picks Kofi up and goes for the Future Shock again.  Matt Hardy runs in through the crowd and hits the Twist of Fate.  Kofi hits McIntyre with the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 16:29.  Good match, but I’m not sure how I feel about the booking.  McIntyre, the heel, got screwed after having the match won clean, but he’s a fucking prick so the people seemed to like it.  Still, they couldn’t have had Teddy refuse to count after a belt shot or a low blow or something?

Savannah interviews Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty and Natalya.  They’ll face the Usos and Tamina tonight.  They say they’re fighting for Bret tonight.

Four-Way Match for the WWE Divas Championship: Eve Torres (c) vs. Maryse vs. Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox.  They pair off and brawl.  They break up a bunch of near falls early.  Maryse and Fox double team Eve briefly.  Gail gets a modified Cristo on Fox while Eve gets a cross armbreaker on Eve.  Gail releases her hold to break Eve’s, then puts Maryse in an armbar.  Fox breaks and… puts Maryse in an armbar.  Poor Maryse’s arms.  Maryse finally escapes and bails.  Eve puts Fox in a camel clutch.  Gail puts Fox in a Boston crab at the same time.  Maryse breaks the holds and sends Eve and Gail outside.  Fox and Maryse go boobs to boobs and nose to nose.  Maryse points her finger at Fox, who threatens to bite it off.  They start fighting.  Maryse lands a thrust kick for 2, as Eve makes it back in to save.  Gail dropkicks Maryse and Eve.  Gail hits a missile dropkick on Maryse.  Striker makes a Jumping Bomb Angels reference that nobody gets.  Gail tries to rana Fox on the floor and gets face planted into the apron.  Eve hits a neckbreaker and a moonsault press on Maryse.  Fox comes in, throws Eve out, and pins Maryse to win the title in 5:42.  They tried, and it was okay.

Rey Mysterio Jr. and The Big Show chat backstage.  I think the point is that Show’s fist is as big as Mysterio’s head.

The Fatal 4-Way theme song is “Showstopper” by Toby Mac.  Who?

Chris Jericho comes out and cuts a promo about how great he is.  He’s challenged Evan Bourne to a rematch from their match on Raw.

Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne.  “Y2J!” chants, despite the fact that he’s the heel.  Jericho goes on the attack immediately.  Bourne hits a rana and a high speed basement dropkick for 2.  Jericho hits a clothesline for 2.  “LET’S GO JERICHO!” chants.  Bourne sends Jericho outside and comes off the top rope with a dive.  Jericho hits his springboard dropkick to knock Bourne off the apron.  Back inside, Jericho hits a dropkick for 2.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Bourne lands a spin kick and a running kick to the corner for 2.  Jericho hits a German suplex hold for 2.  Bourne ranas Jericho off the middle rope for 2.  Bourne goes for his knee takedown, but Jericho rolls through and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Bourne gets a rope break.  Crowd boos.  Long Island loves Jericho, who coincidentally was born on Long Island.  Jericho knocks Bourne off the apron and into the announcer table.  Jericho follows by ramming Bourne’s face into the table.  Bourne sends Jericho into the steps, back hits his diving double knee thing back inside for 2.  Jericho hits a double arm backbreaker for 2.  Bourne avoids the Lionsault and nails Jericho in the head with a kick.  Bourne goes for the Shooting Star press.  Jericho avoids it, but Bourne lands on his feet.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker, but Bourne gets his foot on the rope.  Jericho yells at Bourne to stay down while beating him up.  Bourne gets his wonky cradle for 2.  I’m gonna start calling it the Bourne Clutch until I find out it has an actual name.  Jericho goes for the Walls again, but Bourne somehow turns it into a DDT.  Bourne goes up top again, but Jericho cuts him off.  Bourne knocks Jericho off, but Jericho cuts him off again!  Jericho tries for a superplex, but Bourne throws him off yet again and hits the Shooting Star press to the back for the pin in 12:03.  Very good match.  The crowd was pro-Jericho throughout the match, but they popped when Bourne won.  I wonder where the Jericho losing streak thing is going.

Best PPV Matches DVD plug.

Hype video for the Smackdown Fatal 4-Way.

Four-Way Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Jack Swagger (c) vs. The Big Show vs. CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Punk sends the Straight Edge Society to the back before the match.  Punk and Swagger both attack Mysterio.  Big Show deals with them both.  Punk jumps on Show’s back and puts him in a sleeper hold.  Show throws him off.  Mysterio goes for Punk’s mask.  Punk takes Mysterio out of the ring with a headscissors.  Show throws Swagger out of the ring.  Mysteroi tries to take the fight to Show.  Show cocks his massive fist and Mysterio bails.  Show palms him like a basketball to bring him back in, then throws him into Swagger to knock Swagger off the apron.  Show covers Mysterio, but Punk saves.  Show covers Punk, but Swagger saves.  Show covers Swagger, but Mysterio saves.  Show manhandles everyone.  Mysterio hits Show with a DDT for 2.  Punk kicks Show in the head.  Swagger breaks covers by Punk and Mysterio.  Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on Show, but Mysterio saves.  Mysterio and Punk takes Show out of the ring.  Swagger clotheslines them both.  Swagger covers Mysterio for 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex on Mysterio for 2.  Swagger mounts Mysterio and grinds his elbow into the back of Mysterio’s head, then transitions into a chickenwing hold.  Mysterio fights back and goes for the 619, but Punk hits Mysterio with a diving cross body for 2.  Punk covers Swagger for 2.  Punk beats on Mysterio and hits a backbreaker for 2.  Swagger Germans Mysterio and Punk.  Covers get 2.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb on Punk, but Punk kicks him in the head.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Show grabs him from the outside and sends him into the announce table.  Show runs wild on Swagger and Punk.  Somebody kicks the steps into Show’s leg.  Mysterio hits a 619 around the post.  Punk takes Show out with a dive.  Mysterio runs wild on Swagger and gets caught with a kick.  Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep on Swagger.  Kane comes out, wheeling a casket to the ring.  Kane throws Punk outside and chokeslams him into the casket.  Luke Gallows takes out Kane with a big boot and runs to the back with Punk.  Kane follows.  So Punk just leaves when he can still win the World title?  Mysterio hits the 619 and the springboard splash on Swagger to win the title in 10:28.  It was okay, but the ending was stupid.  I hope Rey’s second title reign is booked better than his first.

The next shitty theme PPV is Money In The Bank, next month!

Josh Matthews interviews the WWE Champion, John Cena.  He says the WWE locker room will stand united against the NXT guys.

They show The Miz regaining the United States Championship last Monday on Raw in a Four-Way against R-Truth, John Morrison, and Zack Ryder.

WWE United States Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. R-Truth.  Miz does his own version of R-Truth’s rap on his way to the ring and forgets some of the words.  They lock up.  Truth drops Miz with a shoulder block.  Truth continues to school Miz early on.  Miz kicks Truth in the ribs a bunch, then applies a neck and shoulder hold.  Truth hip tosses Miz.  Miz pushes Truth into the post.  Truth barely beats the count back in.  The referee wastes time checking on R-Truth.  Miz beats on Truth in the corner until the referee gets in the ring again.  Miz hits the running clothesline to the corner for 2.  Miz locks Truth in a body scissors.  Truth fights out and the referee gets in the MOTHERFUCKING AWAY AGAIN.  DOES THIS STUPID FUCK THINK HE’S REFFING UFC OR SOME SHIT?  Miz beats on Truth some more.  Truth fights back.  Miz catches him with a knee lift and chokes him with his boot.  They trade punches.  Miz locks in a modified bow & arrow lock.  Truth hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Truth hits a front suplex for 2.  Miz goes for a superplex.  Truth fights him off and hits a missile dropkick.  Truth mounts his comeback and hits a Complete Shot for 2.  R-Truth hits a suplex stunner for 2.  Miz hot shots Truth into the top rope and hits a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for 2.  The crowd is shitting on this.  Truth avoids Miz in the corner.  Miz politely waits in place for Truth to hit a leg drop for 2.  Another cover for 2.  Miz throws Truth to the apron.  Truth goes up top.  Miz cuts him off and goes for a superplex again.  Truth fights him off again and goes for a diving cross body, but Miz avoids it.  Truth gets Miz with an inside cradle for 2.  Truth ducks a kick and schoolboys Miz for 2.  Truth goes for a cradle, but Miz sits on him for the pin in 13:22.  This was okay in spots, but it dragged on, the crowd hated it, and I hated the referee for repeatedly getting in the way.

Don’t try this at home!

Todd Grisham interviews Edge.

Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty & Natalya vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso & Tamina.  Tamina and Natalya start with some decent chain wrestling.  Smith and Jey tags in and go at it.  Smith gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Smith hits a belly to belly suplex for like 1.  Smith ties Jey to the tree of woe and tags in Kidd.  Kidd dropkicks Jey for 2.  Kidd grabs a side headlock.  Jey fights to his corner and tags in Jimmy.  Jimmy works a wrist lock on Kidd.  Kidd escapes and gets nailed with an elbow.  Jimmy throws Kidd out of the ring and goes for a dive, but Kidd makes it to the apron and catches him with a kick for 2.  Kidd lands on his feet from a backdrop suplex and lands a kick.  Kidd comes off the apron onto Jimmy, but Jimmy turns it into a Samoan drop into the barricade.  Jey tags in and covers Kidd for 2.  Jimmy cranks on Kidd’s neck.  Jey lands a big kick for 2.  Jimmy tags in.  Usos double team Kidd.  Jimmy gets a couple of near falls on Kidd, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Jimmy cuts off Kidd from making the tag.  Jey tags in and hits a running butt butt for 2.  Kidd continues to play face in peril.  Jimmy hits Kidd with a diving headbutt for 2.  Kidd finally makes the hot tag to Natalya, who runs wild on Tamina.  Natalya hits a couple of suplexes and a Michinoku Driver II for 2, as Jimmy saves.  Smith takes out Jimmy.  Kidd takes out the Usos with a suicide dive.  Tamina ducks a rolling elbow and hits a Samoan drop.  Tamina goes for a Superfly Splash, but Natalya avoids it and hits a discus lariat for the pin in 9:28.  This was very good.

Raw Fatal 4-Way hype video.

Four-Way Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge vs. Sheamus.  They pair off and brawl.  Cena and Orton quickly dispose of Sheamus and Edge, respectively.  Cena and Orton have a stare down for a while.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Orton goes for the RKO.  Edge and Sheamus attack them again.  Edge and Orton fight outside while Sheamus beats up Cena in the ring.  Edge and Sheamus double team Cena.  Sounds like alternating “LET’S GO CENA!” and “CENA SUCKS!” chants.  At least the crowd is hot.  Edge schoolboys Sheamus for 2.  The Hart Dynasty, R-Truth, and Evan Bourne are watching backstage.  Edge hits a diving clothesline on Sheamus, but Cena saves.  Edge throws Cena out of the ring.  Edge goes up top, but Orton crotches him and goes for a superplex.  Sheamus cuts that off and tries to powerbomb Orton.  Orton fights him off.  Edge goes for a diving cross body and hits Sheamus when Orton ducks.  Orton breaks the cover at 2.  Edge ducks a clothesline from Orton and hits a baseball slide dropkick on Sheamus.  Edge clotheslines Orton out of the ring.  Cena makes it to the apron.  Orton suplexes him in the ring and stars working him over.  Cena avoids a knee drop from Orton.  Sheamus hits Orton with a Polish hammer.  Cena and Sheamus start brawling.  Cena hits the Fisherman buster and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Sheamus escapes and hits the uranage backbreaker (Irish Curse) for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Edge runs in.  Sheamus side steps Edge and sends him into the post.  Cena schoolboys Sheamus for 2.  Sheamus clotheslines Cena.  Orton clotheslines Sheamus.  Orton hits a DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER on Sheamus and Cena.  Orton covers Sheamus, but Sheamus gets a rope break.  Edge drops Orton with a big boot.  Edge goes for the spear on Cena, but Cena avoids it and makes his standard comeback.  “VINTAGE CENA!”  Orton hits the 3.0 on Cena.  Orton hits the powerslam on Edge and starts humping the mat.  Sheamus goes for the pump kick, but Orton dodges it.  Sheamus throws Orton out of the ring and beats up Edge and Cena.  Cena backdrops Sheamus out of the ring.  Orton pulls Sheamus down, causing him to face plant on the apron.  Edge spears Orton off the apron and into the barricade.  Cena locks Edge in the STF.  Edge gets close to the ropes, so Cena pulls him back and reapplies the hold.  Sheamus breaks it and covers Edge for 2.  Sheamus works on Cena’s neck.  Sheamus clotheslines Edge for 2.  Sheamus cuts off Orton from getting back in the ring, then knocks Cena outside too.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on Sheamus.  Sheamus falls out of the ring.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment on Edge, but Edge pushes Cena into an RKO from Orton.  Orton covers, but Sheamus hits the referee to break it.  Orton sends Sheamus outside.  Edge spears Orton.  Sheamus hits Edge with the pump kick, then covers Orton for 2.  Edge pulls Orton outside.  Sheamus follows.  Orton throws Sheamus over the announce table.  Edge spears Orton into the post.  They show the Harts, Bourne, and R-Truth watching backstage.  The NXT guys (Wade Barrett, David Otunga, Heath Slater, Darren Young, Michael Tarver, Justin Gabriel, and Skip Sheffield) jump them and tear some shit up.  Back at ringside, Lawler checks on Michael Cole, who got hit when Sheamus got thrown into him.  The NXT guys make their way into the arena and attack Cena.  I think he hit the Attitude Adjustment on Young, but the numbers get the better of him.  The NXT guys attack Edge at ringside.  Sheamus sneaks in and pins Cena to win the title in 17:25.  Sheamus escapes into the crowd.  Tarver hits the world’s shittiest Superman punch on Cena.  Sheffield kills Cena with a clothesline.  Barrett hits his shitty lucha transition finish on Cena, then Gabriel hits the 450 splash.  Sheamus celebrates on stage with the belt.  The NXT guys run after him, so Sheamus gets the fuck out of there.  Cena, Edge, and Orton are all laid out.  There’s another “DANIEL BRYAN!” chant.  The match was pretty good.

The show was really good, even with some shitty stuff involving the McIntyre/Long and Kane angles, both of which I hate anyway.

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WWE Monday Night Raw 6/7/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  Cut straight to the arena, where Raw and Smackdown GMs Bret Hart and Teddy Long make their way to the ring.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Bret Hart welcomes the people to the Viewer’s Choice Raw.  Go to WWE.com and vote.  Joy.  They announce that the fans will pick the opponents for the participants in the Raw Fatal 4 Way match.  Long says they should talk about Randy Orton.  Orton comes out with his arm in a sling.  He says he wants Edge tonight.  Edge comes out to retort.  Long whispers in Bret’s ear.  Bret agrees to leave it up to the fans.  Long says it will be a debate, a sit-up contest, or a one arm match.  Stupid.  They pick the one armed thing.  I already hate this show.  Long announces that the first match is Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show.  It’s either Over The Top Rope Challenge, Submission Match, or Body Slam Challenge.  Stupid, stupid shit.  Big Show comes out.  Commercials.

Matt Striker reveals the results.  Body Slam Challenge wins.  Lawler is an idiot.

Body Slam Challenge: The Big Show vs. Chris Jericho.  Show is amused.  Jericho looks near tears.  Jericho slaps Show.  Show kicks his ass.  Jericho side steps Show in the corner and tries to slam him but fails, of course.  Show beats up Jericho some more.  Show signals for the KO punch.  Jericho bails.  Show grabs him, but Jericho pulls his arm across the top rope.  Jericho tries to work the arm.  Jericho comes off the top and gets caught with a chop.  Jericho tries a cross body, but Show catches him and slams him for the win in 2:52.  That was stupid.  Show puts Jericho in a camel clutch and Jericho taps out.  Show is announced as the winner again.  Show throws Jericho out of the ring to win again.  This was really, really stupid.

Miami!

Who will the Hart Dynasty face?  The Usos (now named John & Jey) (w/ Tamina), The Dudebusters, or Great Khali & Hornswoggle.  We get short promos from all 3.  Ugh.

WWE.com plug.

Striker reveals the winners… Khali & Hornswoggle.  FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya) vs. Great Khali & Hornswoggle.  Khali mauls Kidd.  Hornswoggle tags in and goes for the tadpole splash.  Kidd avoids it.  Smith kicks Khali off the apron.  Kidd pins Hornswoggle in 1:18.  This was retarded.  The Usos and Tamina attack the Harts again.  This week, the Harts clean house.

Lawler gets up from the announce table, saying he has a problem.  Cole introduces the Smackdown Rebound, with an angle so shitty is has to be recapped.

Guest hosts the A-Team cast are next.  Well, they can’t make this show any worse.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The stars of The A-Team are introduces.  Only Bradley Cooper comes out.  He greets the crowd and leaves.  What was the fucking point of that.

Jerry Lawler is backstage looking for someone.  Quinton Jackson and Sharlto Copley find him.  Lawler says somebody stole his crown.  They say they’ll find it.  They go outside and encounter the Bella Twins, but stay in character.  Fuck, I hate this show.

Santino Marella comes out.  He’ll face Vladimir Kozlov in… a match, an arm wrestling match, or a dance off.  Fuck.

Vladimir Kozlov comes out.  Striker reveals the results.  It’s a Dance Off.  Shoot me now.

Santino dances… or comes out of the closet, I’m not sure which.  Kozlov does the robot, I think, and some other retarded shit.  “Vintage Kozlov!”  Cole is a moron.  Kozlov is judged the winner.  Kozlov and Santino dance together, then Kozlov shoves him down.  Ugh.  This show is retarded.

All of the divas are backstage.  Will it be a 12 woman tag, a battle royal, or champion vs. champion?  Can I vote for none of the above?

The Divas come out.  Lawler reveals that it’s gonna be a Battle Royal.

Divas Battle Royal featuring WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, The Bella Twins, Gail Kim, Tiffany, Kelly Kelly, Maryse, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool, and WWE Women’s Champion Layla.  They fight.  Rosa gets eliminated by one of the Bellas.  McCool and Layla eliminate Tiffany.  McCool eliminates Kelly.  Gail eliminates Fox, then goes over herself.  LayCool eliminate the Bellas.  Eve fights LayCool  and manages to eliminate them both.  Maryse and Jillian beat down Eve.  They eliminate her.  Jillian declares herself and Maryse co-winners, but Maryse eliminates Jillian to win it in 3:55.  This sucked.  Are you surprised?

Cole and Lawler talk about how great all the stupid bullshit I’ve suffered through tonight were.

Sheamus is backstage.  He encounters Kane, who accuses him of turning Undertaker into a cucumber.  Sheamus says if he had done it, he wouldn’t be shy about it.  Kane calls him a liar and hopes to see him soon.

Who will Sheamus face?  Kane, Mark Henry, or Evan Bourne?

Sheamus comes out.  They show him getting pinned by Evan Bourne in the tag match against Bourne & John Cena last week.  Matt Striker reveals Sheamus’ opponent… Kane (with 88%).  Big surprise, right?

Sheamus vs. Kane.  Kane goes on the attack.  Sheamus cuts him off on the top rope and hits an over the shoulder powerslam for 2.  Commercials.  Sheamus puts his knee in Kane’s back and pulls on his arms.  What the fuck is that move called?  Kane gets out and boots Sheamus in the face.  Kane hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam, but Sheamus kicks free.  They counter each other until Sheamus hits a reverse DDT backbreaker.  Kane avoids the pump kick and goozles Sheamus out of the ring.  Sheamus comes back in.  Kane hits the chokeslam.  Sheamus rolls out of the ring.  He decides to take the count-out loss in 7:24.  Kane is pissed.  Best match on the show so far, and it wasn’t good either.

Tonight, Orton vs. Edge in a one armed match.

Who will John Cena face tonight?  Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk?

Miami.

Wade Barrett hype video.

Savannah interviews Wade Barrett.

Ted Dibiase Jr. bitches to Virgil.  Sharlto Copley and Quinton Jackson come in and accuse him of stealing the crown.  Another retarded segment.  Irwin R. Schyster comes in.  He repo’d the crown because Lawler owed back taxes.  There’s a “gas attack” and Copley passes out.  FUCKING RETARDED.

R-Truth and The Miz are headed out for a tag match.  R-Truth’s partner can be Christian, MVP, or John Morrison.  Miz’s partner can be Dolph Ziggler, William Regal, or Zack Ryder.

WWE Classics on Demand plug.

WWE United States Champion R-Truth makes his entrance.  His partner is… John Morrison.  Black Magic and the White Shadow reunite!

Lawler votes for William Regal to be Miz’s partner.  So did I.  Miz comes out and cuts a promo.  His partner is… Zack Ryder.  Really?

WWE United States Champion R-Truth & John Morrison vs. The Miz & Zack Ryder.  Miz and Truth start.  Miz does his jumping around, then tags in Morrison.  They hit a double hip toss.  Morrison nips up and tags Truth immediately back in.  They hit a double suplex.  Miz boots R-Truth in the face and tags in Ryder.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker on Truth, then tags in Miz.  Lots of quick tags.  Miz beats up Truth for a bit.  Morrison tags in and runs wild.  Morrison knees Miz in the face for 2, as Ryder saves.  R-Truth and Ryder are sent outside.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Morrison for the pin in 3:21.  It was okay, but rushed.

Edge bitches to Bret Hart backstage.  Hart encounters Kane, who of course, accuses him of turning Undertaker into a head of lettuce.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

One Arm Match: Edge vs. Randy Orton.  Orton’s arm is in a sling and Edge has an arm tied behind his back.  Orton ducks a clothesline, side steps a boot, and clotheslines Edge.  Orton does the Garvin Stomp.  Orton humps the mat and goes for the RKO.  Edge avoids it and hits a shoulder block.  Edge unties his arm and attacks Orton.  The ref tries to pull him back, then DQs  Edge in 1:35.  Edge goes for the spear, but Orton kicks him in the head, then kicks him out of the ring.  Orton follows Edge outside.  Edge attacks Orton’s arm with a chair.  I don’t think this stupid shit they keep having Orton do is going to be good for his shoulder.  This whole thing was stupid.

Cole and Lawler recap this shitty show, of which there is unfortunately still another hour.  They show “highlights” just to kill time.

John Cena will face either Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk, but voting isn’t until later.  Ugh.

NXT season 2 starts tomorrow.  Joy.

Miami.

Earlier tonight, this show sucked.  It still sucks.  Also, Edge vs. Randy Orton happened.

John Cena and Evan Bourne chat backstage.  Bourne leaves and Savannah interviews Cena.

The stupid A-Team guy wakes up.  Mean Gene Okerlund interviews him.  He’s still in character and things Gene is the old guy character.  Josh Matthews is there too.  This was fucking retarded, just like everything on this fucking show.

Drew McIntyre comes out.  Teddy Long introduces the candidates for his opponent: Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, and a mystery opponent who is obviously Matt Hardy.  I want to see McIntyre vs. Rampage.

Striker reveals McIntyre’s opponent…. the mystery man (with 88%).  It’s Matt Hardy, to the shock of absolutely nobody.

McIntyre says the match isn’t happening because Hardy is suspended.  Teddy Long says Hardy is suspended from Smackdown, not Raw.  I love loopholes.

Drew McIntyre vs. Matt Hardy.  Hardy kicks McIntyre’s ass.  The referees celebrate them.  Hardy clotheslines McIntyre out of the ring and kicks his ass out there.  Back inside, McIntyre drops Hardy with a big boot.  Hardy avoids McIntyre in the corner and McIntyre spears the post.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for the pin in 1:26, then bashes McIntyre’s head against the mat.  The referee tries to separate them.  McIntyre finally manages to run away, getting some of his hair pulled out in the process.

Rampage Jackson is handcuffed to a chair backstage.  Dibiase, Virgil, and IRS are holding him captive.  They’re gonna take him to the ring and answer something.  Ugh.  This shit is retarded.

Ted Dibiase Jr., Virgil, and King Irwin R. Schyster have Rampage Jackson handcuffed to the top rope.  Dibiase says even he has a price.  Somebody hired him to capture his character from the A-Team.  It’s “Rowdy” Roddy Piper!  That’s hilarious.  Piper is still holding a grudge. He cuts a typically great Piper promo on Rampage.  The A-Team music plays.  Dusty Rhodes, Gene Okerlund, and Sharlto Copley come out in a golf cart.  Rampage breaks free and hits a spinebuster on Dibiase.  Rhodes hits the Bionic Elbow on IRS.  Piper shoves Virgil into Rampage to get chokeslammed.  Mean Gene interviews the A-Team and Dusty.  Also, they finally recover Lawler’s crown.  At least this segment was funny.  First time in a while one of these stupid guest host segments was funny.

Voting for the Cena match is open now.

Next week the guest host is the guy from Royal Pains.

Cole and Lawler say it’s been a fantastic show.  This is a lie.  Lawler votes for Mysterio to face Cena.  So did I.

Josh Matthews interviews the choices: Rey Mysterio Jr., World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, and CM Punk (w/ The Straight Edge Society).

WWE Champion John Cena comes out.  Striker reveals his opponent, CM Punk.

Non-Title: WWE Champion John Cena vs. CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena).  Cena goes for the mask and Punk bails.  Cena schools Punk some more.  They do some nice counter wrestling.  Cena goes for the mask again and Punk bails again.  Back inside, Punk lands some knees and attacks Cena’s mid-section.  Sweet dropkick to the back of the head gets 2.  Punk applies a figure-four head scissors.  Cena tries to make a comeback, but Gallows trips him.  Commercials.  Cena escapes a hold and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk hits a DDT for 2.  Punk throws Cena out of the ring.  Serena gets her cheap shot in.  Back inside, Punk lands some kicks on Cena.  Cena makes his comeback.  When he goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Wade Barrett comes out to distract him.  He hits it anyway, then goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but gets distracted by Barrett approaching the ring.  The rest of the NXT season 1 guys (Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Skip Sheffield, Daniel Bryan, Justin Gabriel, and Darren Young) come through the crowd and beat the hell out of the Straight Edge Society, then get in the ring.  Otunga decks the referee.  Cena goes on the attack, but it’s 8 on 1, so he gets destroyed.  The rookies attack Striker and the announcers and demolish the ringside area.  The bell finally rings at 11:58.  I assume it’s a no-contest.  The rookies beat up all of the ringside personnel.  The rookies start tearing the ring apart.  Cena tries to fight back, but gets beaten down again.  The NXT guys take turns hitting moves on him.  They beat the hell out of Punk some more.  Sheffield clotheslines Cena.  Danielson screams “You are not better than me!” at Cena.  Danielson tropes Cena with a kick.  Barrett hits his shitty finish on Cena.  Gabriel hits the 450 splash.  The NXT guys finally leave, having completely devastated the ring and surrounding area.  Doctors check on Cena.  EMTs come out to stretcher Cena out.  Nobody seems concerned with the dead announcers and such.

This show was the absolute drizzling shits up until the main event, which was a good match.  The ending angle was interesting, and I’m very curious about where this is going.

WWE NXT 5/25/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, NXT hype/history video.

Matt Striker introduces the NXT pros: Chris Jericho, The Miz, Matt Hardy, Christian, William Regal, and the NEW WWE United States Champion R-Truth.  CM Punk isn’t there because of his head being shaved on Sunday.  Striker introduces the rookies: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, David Otunga, and Heath Slater.  Next week is the season finale.  Huh?  Barrett says Slater should go because he’s a ginger.  Otunga says it should be Gabriel.  Gabriel and Slater say something.  Sorry, I spaced.  I’m honestly past the point of giving a fuck about this show.

Tag action next.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Savannah is the ring announcer.

WWE United States Champion R-Truth & David Otunga vs. Christian & Heath Slater.  Truth and Slater start with back and forth wrestling.  Slater lands a shoulder block.  Truth does some of his flippy offense.  Otunga tags in and works Slater’s arm.  Christian tags in and works Otunga’s arm.  Truth tags in and the pros go at it.  Truth lands one of his wonky kicks for 2.  Otunga tags in and works over Christian.  Christian makes a comeback and makes the warm tag to Slater.  Slater runs wild on Otunga.  Slater covers after a neckbreaker, but Otunga gets a foot on the ropes.  Slater hits a diving cross body, but Otunga rolls through for the pin in 5:25.  Decent little tag match.

Tonight, Pros Poll!

Daniel Bryan is backstage!  Will he apologize to Michael Cole or get sued?

WWE.com plug.

Michael Cole is in the ring with some security guards.  They show him getting his ass kicked by Daniel Bryan last week.  Cole talks about how traumatized and butt hurt he is.  He says he’ll give Bryan the chance to apologize to him.  Bryan comes out.  He says he’ll apologize.  They talk about it.  Cole dismisses the security.  Crowd chants “KICK HIS ASS!”  Bryan says he’s truly sorry that Cole is “by far the worst announcer in WWE history.”  Cole can’t break Bryan’s handshake.  Security comes out.  Bryan cuts another great promo about how much Cole sucks.  Cole says he ripped Bryan because he “didn’t deserve it.”  Cole tells Bryan to stop making excuses for not having what it took.  Cole calls Bryan a loser.  Cole slaps Bryan and bails.  Bryan escapes security and jumps on Cole, but it’s quickly broken up.  When Bryan reaches the ramp, Miz talks shit to him, so Bryan decks Miz!  Security breaks that up too.  Fucking great segment.  Commercials.

Matt Striker has replaced Cole as announcer, since Cole is a prepubescent little girl.  Moments ago, all of that stuff just above this line happened.

Wade Barrett (w/ Chris Jericho) vs. Justin Gabriel (w/ Matt Hardy).  Gabriel goes for a takedown, but gets elbowed in the head.  Gabriel fails at pretty much everything and gets his ass kicked.  Jericho yells at the announcers, which is always awesome.  Gabriel finally makes a comeback by landing a bunch of kicks and a rolling elbow.  Gabriel hits a springboard cross body for 2.  Replay of the elbow and a Misawa mention by Striker.  Barrett hits a slingshot backbreaker for 2.  Barrett goes for a superplex, but Gabriel hits a sunset flip powerbomb and the 450 splash for the pin in 3:32.  The last minute or so was pretty good.

Tonight, Pros Poll!

American Bang, who did the NXT theme, are in the crowd.

Raw Rebound.

Pros Poll is NXT!

Striker is back in the ring with the rookies.  #1 is Wade Barrett.  #2 is David Otunga.  #3 is Justin Gabriel.  #4 is Heath Slater.  Slater is eliminated.  Christian says the he thinks the other judges were biased and Slater still has a bright future ahead of him.  Miz says Slater never wowed him, or something.  R-Truth wishes Slater better luck next time.  Jericho says it was academic that Slater would be eliminated because Barrett will win, but he needs to not lose to Justin Gabriel.  Slater talks about all of his accomplishments on NXT.  He says he’ll be back, or something.  Finale next week.

Besides the Danielson segment, which ruled, this show just sucks.

WWE NXT 5/18/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, highlights of last week’s show, NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are our announcers LIVE from Ottawa, Ontario.

Matt Striker introduces the Pros: Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy, Christian, CM Punk, William Regal, and The Miz.  They’re missing a couple.  Striker asks them what they’re looking for in a WWE Superstar.  Miz wants somebody with the “it” factor.  Regal says adaptability.  Punk is just sickened by being around Canadians.  Christian also wants “it.”  He and Regal bicker.  Hardy wants someone who can survive locker room politics.  Jericho wants somebody who will draw money.

Darren Young comes out for the first match.  Punk teases going to the ring with him, the decides not to.  Savannah is the ring announcer.

Darren Young vs. Wade Barrett (w/ Chris Jericho).  What happened to Barrett getting his own music like a month ago?  These two have been at each others’ throats lately.  Barrett shoves Young.  Young takes Barrett down.  Barrett trips Young on the apron and beats him up on the outside.  Barrett whiffs a big boot for 2.  Jericho yells at the announcers.  Barrett stretches Young with a knee to the back and pulls his arms back.  I never know how to describe that move.  Young avoids an elbow drop and makes his comeback.  This match is really sloppy.  Barrett hits a jawbreaker.  Young hits another big right hand and goes for his finish.  Barrett counters and goes for his.  Young counters and goes for a tornado DDT.  Barrett counters.  Young pulls him across the top rope and goes up top.  Barrett crotches him and hits his shitty fireman’s carry front slam for the pin in 3:14.  As I said before, very sloppy match.

David Otunga video.

Tonight, ELIMINATION!  Commercials!

Matt Striker is in the ring with Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan, who were eliminated last week.  They show them being eliminated last week.  Striker asks Tarver for his thoughts.  He doesn’t think it’s fair when he got eliminated by management instead of the pros because they’re threatened by him.  Tarver says some more stuff and leaves.  Striker asks Bryan for his thoughts.  Bryan cuts a really good promo about WWE political bullshit.  He talks about how good he is and gets into an argument with The Miz, tells Striker off for interrupting him, cuts a promo on Michael Cole and attacks him.  YAY!  Commercials.  Boo.

Moments ago, Daniel Bryan fucked Michael Cole’s shit up, and it ruled.

Cole bitches about Danielson.

Justin Gabriel (w/ Matt Hardy) vs. Heath Slater (w/ Christian).  They lock up as Cole says he’s going to press charges against Daniel Bryan.  Cole gets up and leaves.  Gabriel hits a dive to the outside that the camera guy missed because Michael Cole being a bitch is more interesting.  Slater puts Gabriel in a grounded abdominal stretch.  Gabriel knees his way free.  Gabriel hits some spin kicks.  Slater hits a flapjack for 2.  Crowd is DEAD.  Slater hits a spinebuster for 2.  Gabriel hits another big spin kick.  Gabriel kicks Slater down from the apron, then hits the 450 splash for the pin in 2:46.  Good little TV match while it lasted.  Everybody shakes hands after the match.

Skip Sheffield talks about being eliminated last week.  He says the pros were intimidated by him.

Tonight, Pros Poll!

Batista/John Cena hype video.

Cole is back.  Fuck.  They hype the Over The Limit card.

Darren Young video.  Earlier tonight, he jobbed to Wade Barrett’s shitty finish.

Striker is back with the Pros.  The Pros Poll is NXT!

Striker has gathered the rookies at ringside.  Pros Poll: #1 Wade Barrett, #2 David Otunga, #3 Heath Slater, #4 Justin Gabriel, #5 Darren Young.  Why the fuck is Gabriel ranked behind Otunga and Slater?  That’s retarded.  Striker gives Young the mic so he can address the Pros.  Young tells the rookies he respects them, so he isn’t going to whine.  He just thanks everyone.  The jackass Canadians sing the “Goodbye” song.  Young says we haven’t seen the last of him.  We’re down to the final four.

They replay Danielson beating on Cole.  Yay!

Okay show this week.  The Danielson stuff was awesome.

WWE NXT 5/11/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, NXT history package, NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  It’s elimination night #1!  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are announcers.  Matt Striker is the host.  Savannah is probably around as the announcer.

Matt Striker introduces the rookies.  They show their handicap win over the Raw guys on Raw, with Daniel Bryan getting the fall.  They show Michael Tarver saying he should be cut.  He has indeed been cut.  Thankfully.  Tarver throws a fit.  They show Daniel Bryan saying the same thing last week, so he’s also eliminated.  THE FUCK?  They’re still going to cut someone based on the Pros’ Poll.  Barrett vs. Slater is next.  Commercials.

Stupid Buzz Aldrin/Mark Henry skit from Raw.

Heath Slater vs. Wade Barrett.  They lock up.  Slater shines.  Barrett avoids a dive to the outside and clotheslines Slater, then throws him into the barricade, then back in the ring.  Slater makes a comeback.  Barrett catches a cross body and hits his shitty finish for the pin in 3:14.  Who cares?  Jericho’s music plays for Barrett.  Wasn’t he supposed to get his own music like a month ago?

Matt Striker interviews Michael Tarver.  I almost feel sorry for the useless shit.

Still to come, another elimination.

WWE Classics hype.

WWE.com plug.

Skip Sheffield (w/ William Regal) vs. Darren Young.  Sheffield powers Young into the corner.  Young fights back.  Sheffield drops him.  Sheffield beats up Young.  Young avoids the Warrior splash and makes his comeback.  Sheffield hits a move and wins in 3:06.  Whatever.

Elimination tonight.  Again.

Smackdown Rebound.

Over The Limit hype.

Earlier tonight, Tarver and Bryan were eliminated.

Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan.  Awesome promo.  He says “Daniel Bryan may be done, but Bryan Danielson… God knows what’s gonna happen to him.”  Interesting.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

David Otunga vs. Justin Gabriel.  Gabriel shines.  He’s good.  Otunga gets heat.  He’s not good.  Gabriel makes his comeback.  Otunga hot shots him into the top rope, then hits a spinebuster for the pin in 2:46.  Still more “Who gives a fuck?”

Elimination next.

Stupid Buzz Aldrin thing again.

The remaining rookies are back at ringside with Striker.  Darren Young says Barrett should be eliminated.  Slater says it should be Otunga.  I agree.  Gabriel doesn’t care.  Striker presses him, so he says Otunga.  I missed what Sheffield said.  Otunga says everyone.  Striker makes him pick one.  He says Slater.  Barrett also says Otunga.  Nobody likes Otunga.  New Pros’ Poll: #1 Barrett, #2 Otunga, #3 Gabriel, #4 Slater, #5 Young, #6 Sheffield.  Sheffield is eliminated.  He cuts a promo and leaves.  Another elimination next week.  This show blows.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 5/7/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on Smackdown…”

Smackdown open.  Tonight, Kane takes on Jack Swagger!  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Savannah is the ring announcer.

Matt Hardy comes to the ring.  They show his recent destruction at the hands of Drew McIntyre.  McIntyre comes out.  Hardy challenges McIntyre to make him go away.  McIntyre says he’s untouchable because he’s Vince’s boy.  Hardy challenges him to come in the ring and fight.  They brawl.  Referees separate them.  McIntyre attacks Hardy from behind, stomps his head, and pounds him some more.  Teddy Long comes out and orders McIntyre to stop.  McIntyre attacks Hardy again.  Long suspends him.  McIntyre attacks Hardy again.  Long fires him.  McIntyre grabs Teddy’s suit, then decks Hardy again.  Long tells security to take McIntyre out of the building.  McIntyre yells that he’s untouchable.  Long checks on Hardy.  Referees and agents (including Ricky Steamboat and Tony Garea) escort McIntyre out of the building.  McIntyre says “We’ll see who’s fired.”  Trainers help Hardy.

Josh Matthews interviews Teddy Long.  He doesn’t know what to say or do about anything, including the Intercontinental Championship.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Luke Gallows (w/ CM Punk & Serena).  Brawl.  Gallows knocks MVP off the apron and into the barricade.  Gallows beats up MVP on the outside, then back inside.  Butterfly suplex gets 2.  Gallows pounds on MVP some more.  MVP makes his comeback.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow and goes for the Playmaker.  Serena distracts him.  Gallows hits a move for 2.  Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out and Pearl Harbors Punk and leaves through the crowd.  MVP hits the Paydirt for the pin in 3:50.  Nothing to see here.  Commercials.

The Straight Edge Society is still in the ring.  Punk calls out Mysterio.  Mysterio comes out and notes that he just did to Punk what some masked guy has been doing to him lately.  Punk says Mysterio wants to be saved.  Mysterio wants to shave Punk’s head.  Mysterio proposes that they wrestle at Over The Limit.  If Punk wins, Mysterio joins the Straight Edge Society.  If Mysterio wins, he shaves Punk’s head.  Punk agrees.  Mysterio suggests that they skip the match and both honor the stips tonight.  Punk says no.  Mysterio says Punk’s message is good, but the messenger is bad.  They talk some more.  Mysterio asks Punk why he doesn’t lead by example.  Anyway, the match is on for the PPV.

Kelly Kelly & Tiffany vs. Michelle McCool & Layla next.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Kelly Kelly & Tiffany vs. Michelle McCool & Layla (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  They show the bullshit from Superstars.  McCool and Tiffany start.  Tiffany does some monkey flips.  McCool bails.  Tiffany faces off with Vickie and Layla.  McCool cheap shots her.  Shit happens.  Layla and Kelly tag in.  Kelly drops Layla.  Tiffany tags in and hits a diving cross body.  McCool saves, then cheap shots Tiffany.  Layla hits a neckbreaker on Tiffany for the pin in 2:55.  This sucked.

Josh Matthews is with Teddy Long, who announces a 4-man tournament for the vacant Intercontinental Championship.  The semifinals are Christian vs. Cody Rhodes and Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Tournament – Semifinal: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler.  They show Ziggler’s wonderful destruction of Hornswoggle from the Draft show.  He should be awarded the belt, the Nobel Prize, and the Medal of Honor for that.  They lock up.  Ziggler hits a shoulder block.  Kofi jumps around and drops Ziggler for 2.  Kofi sends Ziggler out of the ring and hits a diving.  Ziggler catches Kofi with a shot before Kofi can make it back in.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler works a rear chin lock.  Ziggler beats up Kingston.  Cody Rhodes watches backstage.  Striker makes a Prince Nana reference.  Kofi hits his weird cradle out of nowhere for 2.  Ziggler boots Kofi down and goes for the Flair pin, but Kofi kicks out.  Ziggler hits an X Factor for 2.  Ziggler goes back to the rear chin lock.  Kofi fights up and hits a jawbreaker to escape it.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop.  Ziggler avoids the Trouble In Paradise and rolls through a cross body for 2.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold.  Kofi hotshots Ziggler into the ropes to break it, then hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin (8:28 shown).  Good little match.

Same “Last week” video from the opening, with last week’s main event segment (Swagger talking for hours, then getting KTFO’d by Big Show).  Tonight, Swagger takes on Kane!

Hype for the Over The Edge card.

Christian and Heath Slater come out.  The other semifinal is NEXT!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Tournament – Semifinal: Christian (w/ Heath Slater) vs. Cody Rhodes.  They lock up.  Rhodes with the early advantage.  Christian does his stand on the ropes.  Rhodes avoids the palm strike.  Christian throws Rhodes out of the ring and hits a baseball slide dropkick, then fakes a dive.  Rhodes catches Christian with a shot on the outside and sends him into the steps.  Rhodes beats up Christian.  Christian hits the springboard sunset flip for 2.  Rhodes whips Christian into the turnbuckles, then dropkicks him into them.  Insta-commercials.  Rhodes reverses a suplex attempt and drops Christian with a front suplex.  Rhodes hits a knee drop for 2.  Rhodes stretches Christian against his knee.  Rhodes hits a superplex.  Christian catches Rhodes with an inside cradle for 2.  Rhodes puts the boots to Christian.  Christian slaps Rhodes, then clotheslines him and they both tumble out of the ring.  Back inside, Rhodes covers for 2.  Rhodes goes to the middle rope and dives.  Christian catches him with a shot to the middle.  Christian hits his weird rebound kick and a missile dropkick for 2.  Rhodes avoids a diving cross body and gets an Oklahoma Roll for 2.  Rhodes counters the Unprettier.  Christian lands on his feet from a backdrop and hits the reverse DDT for 2.  Christian jumps to the middle rope.  Rhodes pulls him off.  Rhodes hits a moonsault body block for 2.  Christian sends Rhodes into the ring post and hits the Killswitch for the pin (9:59 shown).  Really good match.  Kingston vs. Christian for the title next week.

They show the same video from Superstars withe Hart Dynasty title win over Miz Show and Big Show KTFO’ing Miz, Jericho, Edge, and Swagger.

Jack Swagger is headed our way!

They show McIntyre’s destruction of Hardy from earlier tonight.

Kofi Kingston vs. Christian for the vacant Intercontinental Championship NEXT WEEK!

Savannah introduces the World Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger!  Swagger starts to repeat all of his achievements.  Insta-commercials.

Swagger continues talking.  Kane finally interrupts.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. Kane.  Swagger tries an amateur take down, but Kane elbows him in the face.  Swagger takes him down and we get the bizarre spectacle of Kane doing amateur wrestling.  The Big Show comes out (HE SUITED UP!) to join the commentary team.  Swagger attacks Kane.  He does fine until Kane catches him with a shot when Swagger comes off the turnbuckles.  Kane hits the diving lariat.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Swagger counters and sends Kane into the turnbuckle, which somehow got exposed.  Swagger is DQ’d in 5:11.  Swagger holds the belt up to taunt Show, then turns around into a big boot from Kane.  Kane disassembles the announce table.  Swagger counters him and rams him into the post.  Show chokeslams Swagger through the announce table.  Show poses with the belt.

This show was really lame, except for the Intercontinental Title tournament matches.  Christian/Rhodes was really good.

WWE NXT 5/4/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, NXT open.  Tonight, David Otunga takes on his pro, R-Truth.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Matt Striker is the host.  I’m sure Savannah is around somewhere to be ring announcer.

Matt Striker has the rookies at ringside.  Next week, somebody gets cut.  Tonight’s stupid thing is an obstacle course.  You have to cross monkey bars, climb a rope ladder and ring a bell, go through the crowd to the concession stand and drink a coke, come back to the ring, juggle, do something stupid with a  baseball bat, and push a cart over the finish line.  The winner gets immunity from being cut next week.  Daniel Bryan is up first.  He has his ribs taped, selling his destruction on Raw.  He does it extremely slowly, taking a minute or more to drink a coke.  2:45.5.  The United States Champion The Miz comes out to berate his rookie.  Miz tells him he’s going to face Michael Tarver next in a battle of winless guys.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

They show Batista’s destruction of Danielson on Raw.

Daniel Bryan (w/ WWE United States Champion The Miz) vs. Michael Tarver (w/ Carlito).  Tarver beats up Bryan and attacks the bad ribs.  Bryan takes Tarver down and teases a surfboard, then stomps Tarver’s knees into the mat.  Tarver attacks the ribs again and whips Bryan into the turnbuckles.  Bryan catches him with a knee, then a big running knee strike.  Tarver beats down Bryan some more.  Insta-commercials.  Tarver hits an Exploder.  Bryan knees Tarver in the gut and kicks the shit out of him on the ground.  Bryan covers for 2, then goes for a cross armbreaker.  Tarver powers Bryan up and drops him to the mat.  Tarver hits a twisting powerslam for the pin (3:50 shown).  Good little match, which is a testament to how awesome Daniel Bryan is.  After the match, Tarver picks up Bryan and Carlito hits the Backstabber.  Miz taunts Bryan.

They show Darren Young’s bit during the stupid competition for last week where he said he wanted to face CM Punk.

Young is backstage with the Straight Edge Society.  Punk bitches at him, then tells him to win the stupid thing tonight.

Heath Slater does the obstacle course in 1:36.9.  Darren Young bumbles through it slowly in 2:07.6.  I don’t care.  Commercials.

Otunga vs. R-Truth TONIGHT!

Justin Gabriel does it in 1:29.  David Otunga does it in 1:35.  This blows.  Striker tells Otunga his match is right now.  They can’t decided what music to play for him.

David Otunga vs. R-Truth.  Truth slaps Otunga.  They lock up.  Otunga gets backed into the corner, then kicks Truth low and throws him into the post.  Otunga goes work.  Insta-commercials.  Otunga stretches Truth with an abdominal stretch, releases him, but keeps the heat on.  Truth fights back.  Otunga hits some weak looking knee lifts and goes back to the abdominal stretch.  Truth reverses it and makes his comeback.  Truth hits the Lie Detector for the pin (2:34 shown).  This was lame.  Truth dances.

The announcers talk.  Cole is an idiot.

Wade Barrett completely fails at the monkey bars and leaves.  Skip Sheffield does it in 1:31.2.  Striker congratulates him, even though he didn’t beat the time.  Commercials.

Michael Tarver struggles with the monkey bars, then gets qualified for not drinking the coke correctly.

Matt Striker is at ringside with the rookies.  Justin Gabriel wins, so is immune, but doesn’t like Otunga.  Otunga is full of himself.  Tarver things he should be eliminated next week “so the others are safe.”  He actually cuts a good promo here, but I still see little use for him.  Sheffield cuts a babyface promo.  He too thinks Tarver should be eliminated.  He and Tarver trash talk each other.  Slater says he’s going nowhere, but he thinks Tarver is gone.  I hope so.  Gabriel and Otunga bicker.  Barrett also thinks that Tarver should go.  Daniel Bryan says he deserves to be eliminated since he hasn’t won a match.  Young says he wants it more than the other guys.  He and Barrett get into a scuffle.

This show blew.