Archive for Saturday Night’s Main Event

WWF Royal Rumble 1988

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 10, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, since this is the Anthology version.  We’re LIVE from Hamilton, Ontario!  Vince McMahon runs down the card for tonight.  Vince and Jesse Ventura are our hosts.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat.  They lock up.  Rude throws punches.  Steamboat responds with chops.  Rude sends Steamboat over the top rope.  Steamboat skins the cat back in, then backdrops Rude out of the ring.  Rude wants a test of strength.  Steamboat obliges and is overpowered, but takes Rude over into an ARMBAR!  Rude escapes it.  Steamboat hits one of his gorgeous arm drags and gets him back in the armbar.  A fan in the front row has a megaphone, and is really annoying.  Rude finally manages to escape, but immediately gets taken back over.  Wow, armbar, that’s refreshing.  Rude’s tired of it too, and beats up Steamboat.  Steamboat goes BACK TO THE FUCKING ARMBAR.  Fuck, Steamer, I LOVE your arm drags, but you don’t have to follow each of them with a 3 minute armbar.  Rude elbows Steamboat in the eye, so he’s as annoyed as I am.  Rude catches Steamboat with a knee to the middle and Steamboat falls out of the ring.  Rude follows him outside and slams him, working over Steamboat’s back.  Rude gets back in the ring and goes his gay hip swiveling.  Steamboat makes it to the apron and Rude suplexes him into the ring for 2.  Rude applies a camel clutch for a while.  Steamboat finally manages to fight out and hit an electric chair drop.  Steamboat goes for a splash, but Rude gets his knees up.  Rude hits an atomic drop that looks botched.  Rude goes back to the camel clutch.  Joy.  Steamboat fights out and launches Rude into the turnbuckles, then rams his head into the top turnbuckle.  They do some wrestling, including the bridge up —> backslide spot I love.  Steamboat gets some quick pinning combinations, including reversing an inside cradle by Rude.  Rude hits a clothesline for 2.  Steamboat counters a suplex attempt into one of his own.  Steamboat comes off the top, but Rude pulls the referee in front of him to take the blow.  Rude locks in a Canadian backbreaker.  The referee wakes up and calls for the bell at 17:40.  Rude leaves, thinking he won, but Finkel announces that Steamboat wins by DQ.  Rude comes back to argue with the referee.  I didn’t enjoy this.  The opening match should be exciting, and this… wasn’t.  Insta-commercials.

Mean Gene Okerlund and Jesse Ventura are out for the weight lifting thing.  Dino Bravo comes out along with manager, Frenchy Martin.  He’s going to attempt to set the world bench press record.  They talk.  Bravo bench presses 415 lbs. as a warm up.  He lifts 505 lbs. next.  This is boring.  Bravo lifts 555 lbs.  I still don’t care.  Bravo lifts 595 lbs. after stalling forever.  655.  Please end.  Next is 715, 10 lbs. more than the world record.  Bravo starts to leave, then comes back.  Jesse helps him lift the weight.  This segment was fucking painful.

2/3 Falls Match for the WWF Women’s Tag Team Championship: The Glamour Girls (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Jumping Bomb Angels.  Ah, the two teams whose members I can’t tell apart.  Angels hit the Glamour Girls with a double dropkick.  Kai works over the angel in pink.  Martin tags in and beats her up too.  Pink bridges out of a cover.  The Angel in red tags in and hits a weird suplex for 1.  Pink tags in.  Jesse asks Vince what the Angels’ names are.  Vince replies that he doesn’t speak Japanese.  Leilani Kai tags in.  Red runs wild on her.  The Angels put the Glamour Girls in stereo figure-four leglocks.  The referee makes the illegal ladies leave the ring.  Red works the leg of Kai.  Pink tags in and works the leg too.  Martin tries to save her, but fails.  Red works the leg as Kai struggles to try to make the tag.  She finally gets the tag.  Martin pulls Red nastily off the turnbuckles.  Red runs the ropes, but Kai catches her with a knee from the apron.  Martin hits an alley oop on the Angel in red to win the first fall in 6:11.  Insta-commercials.  Martin continues working over Red.  Pink tags in and runs wild.  I really wish I knew which one was which.  They do a do si do spot that ends with the Glams clotheslining each other.  Red pins Kai(?) with a botched sunset flip to win fall 2 (8:20 shown).  Replay, insta-commercials.  Angels work over one of the Glams.  Martin tags in and red (Itsuki?) hits something on her that I already forget.  Pink tags in and wrestles with… Martin?  Yes, Martin.  Kai tags in and works over Tateno (I think pink is Tateno and red is Itsuki).  Stuff happens.  Sorry.  Itsuki plants Kai with a weird drop for 2.  Martin and Tateno tag in.  Tateno hits a diving knee drop for 2.  Itsuki tags in and hits a cross body for 2.  Itsuki misses a diving senton.  Noriyo Tateno (or Noreno, as Vince calls her) tags in.  Double missile dropkick to Martin (I think).  Tateno gets the pin (15:21 shown).  Sorry for the clusterfuck review and the lousy timing.  The Angels happily celebrate.  I love these girls.

They show a clip of the Hogan/Andre match from WrestleMania III where Andre almost got the 3 count.  Vince and Jesse talk about it.  Clips of the deal with Ted Dibiase trying to buy the WWF Championship from Hulk Hogan.  Vince and Jesse talk about that.  They show Andre attacking Hogan and choking him out on Saturday Night’s Main Event.  More talking.  They show Andre agreeing to win the title for Dibiase.  Insta-commercials.

Mean Gene Okerlund and WWF President Jack Tunney are in the ring for the contract signing for the Hogan/Andre rematch.  Andre the Giant is in the ring, along with Ted Dibiase and Virgil.  Okerlund introduces the WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan.  Tunney lays out the contract.  Andre doesn’t want to sit down.  He finally sits down.  Dibiase bitches at Hogan about not taking the money.  Hogan signs the contract.  Andre takes his sweet time, examining the contract.  Dibiase tells Okerlund off.  Andre finally signs.  Dibiase tells Andre to put his “stamp of approval” on it.  Hogan lunches at Dibiase.  Andre rams Hogan’s face into the table.  Andre leaves.  This went on too long.

Jesse and Vince explain how the Royal Rumble Match works.  I should mention that this Rumble only has 20 participants.

Finkel does the ring announcing for the first 2 guys, who are already in the ring.  He does the usual explanation of the rules.  Oh, they only specify that you have to be thrown over the top rope.  It doesn’t matter where your feet hit or how many feet hit yet.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is Bret Hart (w/ Jimmy Hart).  #2 is WWF Tag Team Champion Tito Santana.  They lock up.  Bret beats up Tito.  Tito counters Bret and hammers him in kind.  Bret gets back on the advantage and works over Tito some more and tries to get him out.  #3 is Butch Reed.  Reed beats up Santana and tries to eliminate him.  Tito fights back and knocks Reed and Hart’s heads together.  Santana stomps on Reed’s head.  Hart attacks Tito again.  Hart holds Tito for Reed to come off the middle rope with a double axe handle.  #4 is Jim Neidhart.  Poor Tito.  Tito gets triple teamed by the heels.  They all try to get him over the top.  #5 is Jake “The Snake” Roberts, who immediately eliminates Reed, then runs wild on the Hart Foundation.  Tito get his second wind and helps.  They whip the Harts into each other.  Roberts goes for the DDT on Bret, but Neidhart clotheslines him.  Bret piledrives Tito.  #6 is King Harley Race.  Race helps Neidhart beats up Roberts.  The Hart Foundation double team Tito some more.  Roberts decks Bret, then gets cut off by Race.  #7 is Jim Brunzell.  Brunzell and Tito try to eliminate Bret.  It turns into a struggle involving everyone, but heels save Bret from being eliminated.  Everybody fights.  #8 is Sam Houston, who runs wild on Neidhart.  Santana kicks the shit out of Bret’s head.  Houston beats up Race as Roberts and Neidhart square off.  The Hart Foundation throws Santana out.  #9 is Danny Davis.  He brawls with Sam Houston.  Roberts punches Race, who is tied up in the ropes and keeps bouncing back up.  Roberts hits a backdrop suplex on Davis.  Roberts goes for the DDT, but Davis avoids it.  #10 is Boris Zhukov, who attacks Houston.  Everyone knows Russians hate pretty boys.  Everybody fights.  #11 is Don Muraco.  Nikolai Volkoff comes out too.  He thinks it’s his time.  The referees hold him back.  Zhukov gets eliminated.  Volkoff is overjoyed to finally be let in as #12.  Brunzell narrowly avoids getting eliminated.  Race isn’t so lucky.  He’s very unhappy at being eliminated.  Houston saves Roberts from being eliminated by Hart.  #13 is “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  Race attacks him in the aisle.  Duggan considers going after him, but marches to the ring and gets in the mix.  #14 is Ron Bass.  Volkoff eliminates Brunzell.  #15 is Brian Blair.  He goes after Hart.  Neidhart cuts him off.  Brunzell tries to eliminate Neidhart, but gets cut off by Bret.  Muraco saves him from being double teamed.  Crowd has been chanting “DDT!” intermittently.  #16 is Hillbilly Jim.  He immediately eliminates Neidhart, then beats up Davis.  Bass almost eliminates Blair.  Hey, he did go over the top rope and hit the apron, so under these rules, shouldn’t he be eliminated?  #17 is Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin).  Bass eliminates Sam Houston.  #18 is The Ultimate Warrior.  Muraco eliminates Hart, who was in the match for 25 minutes.  #19 is The One Man Gang.  Gang eliminates Blair and Roberts in short order.  The entrances are getting faster.  They must have been running long.  #20 is Junkyard Dog.  Everyone has entered, and the ring is full.  Duggan eliminates Volkoff.  Gang eliminates Hillbilly Jim.  Duggan tackle clotheslines Davis out of the ring.  Bravo and Gang eliminate Warrior.  Bass eliminates JYD.  Muraco eliminates Bass.  Final four are Muraco, Gang, Bravo, and Duggan.  Muraco evades being double teamed by the heels, dropkicks Gang, dropkicks Martin off the apron, then gets Bravo’s boots put to him.  Bravo holds Muraco for Gang to clothesline out of the ring.  Duggan is alone against 2 heels.  Duggan goes on the attack, but gets double teamed.  They try the same trick the did with Muraco, but Duggan ducks and Gang eliminates Bravo.  Duggan makes his comeback against Gang until Gang clobbers him.  Duggan low bridges a charging Gang out of the ring to win it in 33:27.  The Rumble is always fun.

Replays of the contract signing from earlier.

Craig DeGeorge interviews Hulk Hogan.  Hogan talks about Andre, then does his posing routine.

Main event time!

2/3 Falls Match: The Islanders vs. The Young Stallions.  There’s some convoluted storyline involving Matilda going on.  Tama beats on Powers.  Powers leapfrogs Tama, punches him, and slams him.  Tama bails for a moment.  Tama tauntingly offers a handshake.  Powers hits an atomic drop.  He and Roma punch Tama.  Powers takes a front bump into the turnbuckles.  Haku and Roma tag in and go at it.  Haku hits a nice arm drag.  Roma hits a cross body for 2.  Powers tags in and gets a 2 count on Haku after a double elbow smash.  Tag to Tama, who tosses Powers around.  Powers avoids an elbow drop.  The Islanders make quick tags and work over Powers.  Vince makes a kind of racist comment about Tama’s toes, and Jesse calls him on it.  Match goes on.  Roma gets some offense rolling on Tama.  Tama throws Roma out of the ring to eliminate him from the Royal Rum… nevermind.  Powers gets counted out to give the Islanders the first fall at 7:53.  Insta-commercials.

They show the Hogan/Andre shit again instead of going back to the match.

Craig DeGeorge interviews Andre and Dibiase, with Virgil.

The Stallions head back to the ring, with Roma selling the ribs.  Insta-commercials.  Fuck, this is an oddly structured show.

2/3 Falls Match: The Islanders vs. The Young Stallions, CONTINUED!  Roma is forced to start.  Tama kicks his ass.  Roma gets his knees up to counter a splash.  Haku and Powers tag in.  Powers dominates for a bit and gets a couple of near falls on Haku.  Haku gives Powers a chop to the gut and tags in Tama.  Haku quickly tags back in.  Powers inside cradles him for 2.  Haku hits a backbreaker for 2.  Tama tags in and beats up Powers.  Haku tags in and beats up Powers.  Haku hits a gutwrench suplex for 2, then locks Powers in an abdominal stretch.  Powers continues to take the beating.  Roma tags in and tries to fight, but gets hammered by Haku, who is a fucking beast of a man who I wish was currently on my TV every week.  Tama hits a diving splash on Roma, then Haku locks in a half crab for the pin in about 9 minutes.  They never bothered to ring the bell for the second fall.  The match was fine, but the way they structured the show was fucking stupid.

Vince and Jesse talk about stuff.  Mainly, Jesse helping Bravo lift the weight.  Jesse, awesome heel that he is, vehemently denies it.  They talk about the Hogan/Andre shit.  Of course, they have to replay it for the THIRD TIME.

Interesting show.  Some was bad, like the opener and the structure of the main event, and the bench press shit.  They spent too much time going back to the Hogan/Andre shit, too.  The Rumble was fun and I really enjoyed the Jumping Bomb Angel’s title win.  This was actually a TV special that aired on USA, and not a PPV, but I included it in the rotation anyway just because it’s the first Royal Rumble.

WWF WrestleMania II (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2010 by Grappleholic

This review was originally written on 12/22/09.

On we march, with WrestleMania II!

WWE open, since this is from the Anthology.  WWF: The Recognized Worldwide Leader in Sports.  WrestleMania II: What The World Has Come To.  I should mention now that for some reason, they decided it would be a good idea to have WrestleMania II from 3 locations: Uniondale, New York, Chicago (Rosemont), Illinois, and Los Angeles, California.

First to New York, where Vince McMahon delivers his famous “Welcome to WrestleMania!” line.  Vince introduces his color commentator for the New York portion, Susan St. James.  I see Howard Finkel is the ring announcer for New York.  Ray Charles sings “America the Beautiful.”

Cut to Mean Gene Okerlund in Chicago for a minute.

Back in New York, some old fat guy interviews Roddy Piper (with “Cowboy” Bob Orton), who will be boxing Mr. T tonight.  Piper cuts a typically great promo, with the awesome line “If Mr. T can knock me out in this fight, I would not only quit professional boxing, I would quit professional wrestling, I would quit tiddlywinks, I would quit dating girls!”  He then turns to Orton and says “I’d stick with you, though.”

Don Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff.  After the opening bell, they play pre-taped audio comments from both wrestlers.  That strikes me as dumb.  They lock up.  Orndorff gets the better of it at first.  Orndorff gets Muraco on the mat and applies an arm lock.  Susan St. James is horrible on commentary.  Muraco tries to arm drag his way out of it, but Orndorff keeps it clamped on.  Muraco finally hits a Samoan drop to escape the punishment of his arm.  They go out of the ring and brawl to a double count-out at 4:33.  Crowd chants “BULLSHIT!”  It started off good, then went downhill.

Mr. T interviews himself.  During this, Finkel finally makes the announcement that the last match was a double count-out.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. George “The Animal” Steele.  A pre-taped interview during Savage’s entrance.  This show is so sloppily produced.  Susan likes Steele.  Savage bails as soon as Steele goes after him.  Savage gets back in the ring.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Steele finally gets hold of Savage and bites his leg.  Steele picks up Savage by the neck, chokes him, then drops him.  Steele gets distracted, looking at Elizabeth.  Savage ties him up in the ropes and puts the boots to him.  Savage with a diving crossbody for 2.  Steele throws Savage out of the ring.  Savage crawls under the ring, comes out the other side, and jumps Steele from behind.  Steele bites Savage’s arm.  Steele clubs Savage until Savage gouges his eyes.  Savage slaps Steele with a bouquet of flowers.  Steele bites him again, then hits him with the flowers.  Steele eats the turnbuckle pad.  He feeds some of the stuffing to Savage.  Savage bails.  Who can blame him?  Steele chases him around the ring.  Steele pleads with Elizabeth.  Savage comes off the top with the diving axe handle to the outside.  Back in the ring,  Savage slams Steele and hits the diving elbow, but Steele kicks out at 1.  Steele grabs Savage’s nose, then throws him into the corner.  The ref admonishes Steele.  Savage trips Steele up and gets the Flair pin in the corner at 7:08.  This sucked.  Steele eats another turnbuckle, then chases the referee to the back.

In Chicago, Mean Gene interviews two of the participants in the NFL vs. WWF Battle Royal, Bill Fralic and Big John Studd.  During this, we hear Finkel’s annoucement that Savage was the winner and still the Intercontinental Champion.  Gah.

Vince and Susan talk about snakes.

George Wells vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  They trade punches.  Wells with a backdrop.  Snake sends Wells to the outside and they brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Wells hits a shoulder block.  Wells whips Roberts into the corner, then takes him over with a head scissors.  Wells with a knee lift.  Wells with a powerslam for 2.  Snake gouges the eyes, then begs off and bails.  Wells follows him out and back into the ring.  Roberts gets a cheap shot with the knee lift when Wells is still coming through the ropes, then hits the DDT for the pin at 3:05.  Jake puts the snake on Wells after the match.  The match was fine for what it was.

They show an altercation between Roddy Piper and Mr. T that led to tonight’s match, which I believe took place on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cut to Los Angeles, where Jesse Ventura interviews the WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan.

Back to Vince and Susan, then to Finkel in the ring to introduce the celebrities for the New York main event.  The guest ring announcer is Joan Rivers.  She introduces the judges: Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway, and G. Gordon Liddy.  The special guest timekeeper is Herb.  I don’t know who any of those people are.  The referee is Jack somebody.

Boxing Match: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (w/ “Cowboy” Bob Orton and the old fat guy) vs. Mr. T (w/ Joe Frazier & the Haiti Kid).  They box.  It sucks.  I’m not a boxing fan anyway, and I really hate lame, worked boxing matches in wrestling.  The first round ends.  They go to their corners.  Round 2 starts.  They box some more.  It still sucks.  I do like Piper’s plaid boxing trunks.  Round 2 ends.  Piper cheap shots T again anyway.  Orton throws a bucket of water on T to boot.  Round 3 starts.  Guess what?  They box!  T punches Piper out of the ring.  He barely makes it back in.  They’re both getting tired.  Round 3 ends.  Just end this shit already.  Piper throws his stool at Mr. T.  Round 4 starts.  They punch each other.  Piper knocks T’s mouthpiece out.  T knocks Piper’s mouthpiece out.  Piper socks the ref, then body slams Mr. T to cause the DQ at 1:17 of the 4th round.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Man, this sucked.

Now on to the Chicago portion of the show.  Gorilla Monsoon and Mean Gene hype the battle royal.  Gorilla introduces their color commentator for this portion, Cathy Lee Crosby.  Never heard of her either.  Curse my lack of knowledge of low level celebrities from before I was born.  Chet Coppock is the ring announcer for Chicago.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: The Fabulous Moolah (c) vs. Velvet McIntyre.  Moolah jumps McIntyre immediately and kicks her ass.  McIntyre fires back with dropkicks and an elbow smash.  McIntyre with a body slam, then comes off the top with a big splash, but Moolah moves out of the way, then covers McIntyre for the pin at the 59 second mark.  Well that was utterly pointless.

Gorilla, Gene, and Crosby hype the battle royal again.

Flag Match: Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Freddie Blassie) vs. Corporal Kirchner.  Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem before the match.  The winner gets to wave his flag. Volkoff goes on the offensive early.  Kirchner fights back.  Kirchner knocks down the referee.  While he’s down, Kirchner catches Blassie’s cane and nails Volkoff with it for the pin at 1:35, so he gets to hold up Old Glory.  Match was nothing.

Mean Gene is in the ring to explain the rules for a battle royal.  The timekeeper is the “where’s the beef” lady.  The referees are Dick Butkus and Ed “Too Tall” Jones.

Battle Royal featuring Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, The Killer Bees of Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic, The Hart Foundation of Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, and Andre the Giant.  There’s no opening bell, but everyone just starts fighting.  “Big Cat” Ernie Ladd joins Gorilla and Crosby at the announce table for whatever reason.  Ah, I guess because he was both a football player and a wrestler.  Tonga and one of the football players eliminate each other.  Holmes gets eliminated, I think by Bruno, or maybe Studd.  Brunzell gets tossed.  Perry eliminates Atlas.  A bunch of guys try to gang up on Andre.  Morales and Marvin eliminate each other.  Arcidi, Jim, and Spivey try to dump Blair, but he slips back in and helps the other guys dump Arcidi.  Sheik dumps Spivey.  Sheik dumps Jim and Blair.  Sheik and Studd dump Fralic.  Sammartino backdrops Sheik out of the ring.  Sammartino beats up Studd.  Harts beat up Perry.  Andre beats up one of the little guys, I think it’s Russ Frances.  Studd eliminates Bruno.  Perry throws the Harts over the top rope, but they both hit the apron and come back in.  Studd dumps Perry.  Perry shakes Studd’s hand, then, poor sport that he is, pulls Studd out of the ring.  It’s down to Andre, the Harts, and Frances.  Andre gets tied up in the ropes.  The Harts dump Frances, then double team Andre.  Andre big boots Hart, then rams Hart and Neidhart’s heads together.  Big boot to Neidhart sends him out of the ring.  Andre press slams Hart out of the ring and onto Neidhart to win it in about 9 minutes.

Cut to New York, where Vince and Susan talk to Roddy Piper.

Back to Chicago, where Jimbo Covert bitches about getting eliminated from behind.  Gene talks to The Iron Sheik.  “Wrestler is better than football player!”  Replays of the battle royal.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The Dream Team (c) (w/ Johnny Valiant) vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Captain Lou Albano & Ozzy Osbourne).  Davey Boy Smith and Greg Valentine start.  Smith shines early.  Valentine hits a hip toss, but Davey Boy avoids an elbow drop.  Tag to Dynamite.  Dynamite kicks Valentine’s ass and snap suplexes him, then tags Davey Boy back in.  Davey Boy hits his stalling suplex for 2.  Valentine bails to take a breather.  Valentine comes back in and hammers Smith, then headbutts him in the groin.  Tag to Beefcake.  Smith with a press slam, then the tag to Dynamite.  Dynamite with an inside cradle for 2.  Tag to Smith, who hits a Fisherman’s suplex for 2.  Tag to Valentine, who comes off the top with a clubbing blow to Smith.  Valentine with a suplex for 2.  Tag to Dynamite.  He and Valentine trade blows.  Bulldogs make quick tags to work over Valentine.  Beefcake comes in to club Dynamite, and is sent out by the ref.  Dynamite with a sunset flip on Valentine for 2.  Dynamite with a backbreaker, but Beefcake pulls him off of the cover.  Dynamite continues to wear down Valentine.  Valentine drops Dynamite with a sick piledriver for 2.  He tries to hold Dynamite’s shoulders down and ends up getting kicked in the balls.  Valentine goes up top and gets thrown across the ring by Dynamite.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Smith tries to press slam Dynamite onto Valentine, but Valentine bails.  Smith tags in and hits the running powerslam on Valentine for a close 2.  Smith with another suplex for 2.  Valentine finally manages to get the advantage on Smith and tags in Beefcake, who puts a beating on Davey Boy.  Tag to Valentine, who comes off the top with another clubbing blow.  Valentine continues working over Davey and drops him with a shoulder breaker, but foolishly picks him up at 2.  Smith throws Valentine into the Bulldog’s corner, where he collides head first with Dynamite.  Smith covers Valentine to get the 3 and capture the tag titles at 12:02.  Finally, a good match!  Ozzy and Captain Lou celebrate while Davey Boy helps up the knocked loopy Dynamite at ringside.  Mean Gene talks to Ozzy and Captain Lou.  He finally manages to talk to Davey Boy.  Replay of the pretty sick finish.

That’s it for Chicago!  Back to Vince and Susan in New York to talk about what’s still to come in the Los Angeles portion of the show.

Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira will host the LA portion of the show.  Lee Marshall is the ring announcer.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat.  Hercules immediately goes on the attack.  Steamboat fires back with a karate chop and a pair of arm drags.  He attacks Hercules’ arm.  Steamboat leap frogs Herc a bunch and nails him with an elbow.  Steamboat with a suplex, then back to the arm.  Herc blasts Steamboat with a clothesline and hits him with some vicious knees.  Herc hot shots Steamboat into the ropes and beats on him some more.  Steamboat tries to fight back, but almost gets pinned.  Elvira is extremely annoying on commentary.  Herc drops Steamboat with an elbow, then drops a couple more elbows on him.  Cover gets 2.  Steamboat chops Herc.  Herc avoids another chop and drops Steamboat with a discus lariat for 2.  Herc with a press slam.  Herc with another press slam.  Herc comes off the top with a dive, but gets caught by Steamboat’s knees.  Steamboat off the top with a diving crossbody for the pin at 7:33.  It wasn’t bad.

Man, Adrian Adonis sure has changed since we last saw him at The Wrestling Classic.  He was a rough a tough type then… now he’s a cross dresser with bad makeup.

“Adorable” Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Uncle Elmer.  Hart sprays Elmer with perfume, so he chases Hart and Adonis out of the ring, where they hug.  Elmer attacks Adonis we gets back into the ring. No opening bell that I heard. Adonis Flair flips in the corner, then falls out of the ring.  He gets back in and Elmer knocks him out of the ring again.  Elmer rips Adonis’ dress, then knocks him into the ropes where he gets tied up.  When Adonis gets untied, he finally goes on the attack.  He takes off the remains of his dress.  Elmer with the Avalanche in the corner, then he goes for a leg drop, but Adonis avoids it.  Adonis off the top with a headbutt/splash for the pin in about 3 minutes.  This sucked.

Lord Alfred interviews Hogan.

The Funk Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Junkyard Dog & Tito Santana.  Dory has been given the name “Hoss” for whatever reason.  Terry throws chairs in the ring.  The faces throw them out.  Dory and JYD lock up.  JYD slams both of the Funks, then they bail.  Tito and Terry tag in.  Terry throws some vicious sounding chops.  Tito clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dory jumps in and eats a couple of Tito’s dropkicks, then rolls out himself.  Tag to JYD.  He lands some punches on Terry, then rams his head into the turnbuckle repeatedly.  JYD with a headbutt for 2.  JYD throws Terry out of the ring.  I swear, the Funks have spent more time on the outside of the ring than in it during this match.  Tag to Dory.  Tag to Tito.  Tito with a flying jalapeno for 2, as Terry saves.  Dory and Tito run the ropes, but Terry catches Tito with a knee to the back.  Terry tags in and throws Tito to the floor, where Jimmy puts the boots to him.  JYD runs him off.  Funks put the boots to Tito.  JYD runs Hart off again and helps Tito back into the ring.  Terry with a suplex for 2.  He argues with referee Dave Hebner.  Tito counters another suplex attempt with one of his own.  Terry and Tito knock heads.  Tag to Dory.  Dory with the Texas suplex for 2.  Funks continue to work over Tito.  Hot tag to JYD.  JYD cleans house.  Terry chokes JYD with a rope,  JYD backdrops Terry out of the ring.  JYD kicks their asses on the outside.  JYD decks Jimmy Hart.  JYD with an inside cradle on Terry.  Dory saves.  Tito puts Dory in the figure-four.  The referee makes Tito leave the ring.  Jimmy throws Terry the megaphone.  Terry hits JYD in the head with it for the pin at 11:44.  Okay match.

They set up the cage.  It’s a special reinforced cage so King Kong Bundy won’t go through the side, the famous big blue cage.

They show what led up to Hogan/Bundy in a cage, a brutal attack by Bundy and Don Muraco on Saturday Night’s Main Event.  They show Hogan lifting weights with Hillbilly Jim and a doctor, while Gene talks to them about Hogan’s injuries.

Ventura interviews Bundy and Bobby Heenan.

Elvira, who is awful, throws it to New York with Vince and Susan, who is almost as awful.  They talk, then back to LA.

Marshall introduces the guest ring announcer for the main event, Tommy Lasorda.  Lasorda introduces the the guest thimekeeper, Ricky Schroder, and the guest referee, Robert Conrad.  Well, at least I know who Rick Schroder is.

Steel Cage Match for the WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Hogan has taped ribs.  They start brawling.  Hogan chokes Bundy with his own singlet.  Elvira says this match resembles a horror movie.  I agree, but probably for different reasons.  Bundy tires of getting beat up by the walrus and attacks Hogan’s ribs.  Bundy tries to escape through the door.  Hogan stops him, so Bundy picks up Hogan and rams his back into the cage.  Bundy takes the bandage off of Hogan’s ribs and chokes him with it.  He ties Hogan to the bottom rope and tries to leave.  Hogan gets free and chokes Bundy with the tag rope.  Hogan rams Bundy head first into the cage.  Hogan beats up Bundy a bit.  Bundy is bleeding.  Hogan tries to slam Bundy, who falls on top of him.  Hogan chokes Bundy with the bandage from earlier.  Bundy fights back.  Avalanche and a big splash by Bundy.  Bundy tries to escape again.  Hogan stops him.  Hogan avoids another avalanche and slams Bundy, then hits the leg drop.  Bundy tries to stop Hogan, but Hogan kicks him off the ropes and to the floor.  Hogan escapes over the top at 10:20.  Bundy goes out through the door a moment later.  Just to show what a role model he is, Hogan throws Heenan into the cage and beats him up after the match, then celebrates.

So that’s WrestleMania II.  Man, it sucked.  The only redeeming thing is the Bulldogs’ title win over the Dream Team.