Archive for Sabu

The Chuiresu Diaries 10/17/12: Chicken Soup for the Wrestling Geek’s Soul

Posted in ECW, WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2012 by Grappleholic

I’m trying something different here.  I don’t get to write reviews often anymore due to being a very stressed college senior, but every now and then I get the chance to watch a little bit of Pro Wrestling and would like to share my thoughts on it.  So, from time to time, I may post what I’m calling a diary with short thoughts on whatever I happen to watch that day.  Full show reviews may still happen in the future, if I ever have free time again.

I picked the the ECW Unreleased Vol. 1 Blu-ray recently, and this evening I’m taking a few hours off from stressing about life, the universe, and everything to enjoy it for a bit.

Former ECW announcer and current WWE.com guy Joey Styles is hosting this thing.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final: ECW Heavyweight Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (Hardcore TV, August 27, 1994).  This was the night Extreme Championship Wrestling was born.  Douglas and Scorpio had a very watchable little back and forth wrestling match, which Douglas won with a belly to belly suplex in 12:52 after Scorpio missed a moonsault.  But the post-match promo is where it’s at.  Douglas refuses the title, saying the NWA is a dead organization.  He instead declares his ECW title to be a World title.  Soon after, Eastern Championship Wrestling became Extreme Championship Wrestling.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven (w/ Stevie Richards & Beulah McGillicutty) (Hostile City Showdown, April 15, 1995).  Fun little brawl.  Raven gives Dreamer 3 consecutive DDTs, but Dreamer kicks out.  Dreamer DDTs Raven on the floor, but Stevie interferes.  Dreamer DDTs Stevie and the referee, then Beulah runs in.  Dreamer gives her a piledriver and Philadelphia, apparently big fans of domestic violence, love it.  Raven is announced as the winner by DQ.  Joey Styles puts it over as a moral victory for Dreamer.  Stevie carries Beulah to the back instead of allowing her to be stretchered.

Joey Styles puts over the workrate guys like Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero who got their first shot in the United States in ECW.

2 Cold Scorpio & Dean Malenko vs. ECW World Television Champion Eddie Guerrero & Taz  (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) (Heat Wave, 7/15/95).  The audio on some of these is pretty bad.  You can hear the announcer, but not the guys talking on the microphone.  So the banter before this match is completely lost on me.  This reminds me, I used to love Taz.  There’s something awesome about a short, stout guy who’s a total ass kicker.  If this isn’t the match where Taz broke his neck, it’s the same configuration of guys.  3 minutes in Eddie and Malenko tag in and start chain wrestling and I vomit rainbows in joy.  Scorpio and Taz have an awesome mat exchange that ends with Scorpio getting suplexed out of his boots.  For that matter, every combination of these guys is awesome, but Malenko and Eddie are two of my favorite wrestlers of all time.  Malenko puts Taz in a Sharpshooter that Joey Styles misidentifies as a Texas Cloverleaf.  I expect better from you, Joey!  I love how they’re working a really good wrestling match, but not at such a fast pace that you can’t digest anything.  Eddie hits a brainbuster that Malenko sells awesomely by convulsing like he just had a seizure.  He apparently still has feeling in his body, because he managed to kick out of the frog splash that followed.  Determined to paralyze Malenko, Eddie dropkicks him off the top turnbuckle to the floor.  Taz and Eddie hit a dropkick Doomsday Device.  That’s kind of neat.  Another Malenko/Eddie exchange with another misidentified Sharpshooter.  Have I forgotten what a Texas Cloverleaf is?  Okay, I googled it.  Looks like I’m the idiot.  Sorry, Joey.  Scorpio hits a dive to the floor.  Malenko tries to do one, but appears to lose his nerve and goes with an elbow smash off the apron.  More dives.  Paul E. hits Scorpio with the cell phone.  Taz hits a head-arm suplex for the pin.  State appointed referee Bill Alfonso orders the match restarted.  Scorpio superkicks Taz and Malenko hits the Tiger Driver on Eddie.  Alfonso fast counts the double pin to give it to Malenko and Scorpio in about 20 minutes.  This was pretty damned good, much to the surprise of no one.

ECW World Television Championship Match: “The Shooter” Dean Malenko (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero (Hardcore TV, July 28, 1995).  This match is great.  Seeing wrestlers of this caliber bust their asses for the sake of having a good match reminds me why I love professional wrestling.  Guerrero catches Malenko with a jackknife hold for the pin to recapture the title 11:47.

Joey Styles puts over Cactus Jack, always my favorite face of Foley.

Cactus Jack vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas (CyberSlam, 2/17/96).  Douglas jumps Cactus, who is wearing a jacket and tie for some reason.  That quickly goes, but Cactus is wearing a shirt underneath.  Good.  I’ve never seen Mick Foley shirtless, and I never want to.  The referee is Brian Hildebrand (aka Mark Curtis), God rest him.  Cactus is wearing the “Forgive me, Uncle Eric” shirt that I remember reading about in his first book.  Joey notes that Cactus didn’t come to wrestle tonight, hence the jacket, tie, and cowboy boots.  They brawl.  Crutches, guardrails, and chairs come into play.  Douglas hits a dive from the top rope into the crowd onto Cactus.  I’ve never seen that out of him.  Cactus does the “spit in the air and catch it in his mouth” bit, which is disgusting.  Joey Styles calls it “Vintage Cactus Jack” here in 1996, so fuck you, Michael Cole.  The referee hands Douglas an international object, which Douglas clocks Cactus with.  They’re handcuffs!  Douglas handcuffs Cactus and picks up a chair.  Cactus tries to fight back, but gets murdered in the face with a chair not as badly as he did with The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, but still…  Cactus calls for help from Vince McMahon (this was right before Foley went to the WWF).  Since Vince doesn’t come out to help, Cactus calls for Mikey Whipwreck.  Douglas is trying to make Foley say “I Quit.”  So this really IS like Rumble ’99.  Douglas locks in a figure-four leglock.  Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a chair and… murders Cactus in the face with it.  Hildebrand counts the pin while Cactus is still in the figure-four in 15:42.  This was fun.

“Lion Heart” Chris Jericho vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (The Doctor Is In, 8/3/96).  There’s too much dancing in Scorpio’s entrance for my enjoyment.  I don’t know anything about dancing, so I don’t know if it’s even good or not.  This must have been one of Jericho’s last matches before going to WCW.  Good wrestling here.  Jericho goes a really wonky submission hold that even Joey can’t identify.  Crowd chants “This show sucks!”  I have no idea why.  They do some near falls.  Scorpio kicks Jericho out of the ring to the floor and says he’s going to finish him.  Jericho stays in the game, though.  Jericho tries to spring off the top and hit Scorpio on the apron, but eats the floor instead.  Scorpio hits a diving leg drop that I thought might be the finish, but Jericho’s got some fight left.  Jericho hits his rebound from the turnbuckle into a dropkick to the apron deal.  There should be an easier way to say that.  Scorpio hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top that wins i… NO!  OMGWTF JERICHO KICKED OUT.  More counters and near falls.  They do some mildly crazy bumps, such as when Jericho powerslams Scorpio off the top rope.  Scorpio hits a Tombstone Piledriver and a Shooting Star press for the pin in 19:58.  Okay, yeah, this was pretty good.

Joey Styles talks about Sabu.

Tables & Ladders Match for the ECW World Tag Team Championship: The Eliminators (c) vs. Sabu & Rob Van Dam (CyberSlam, 2/22/97).  Saturn says the winners of this match will be the best team in the world.  That’s a stretch.  Tables and ladders are legal in this match, so of course, RVD and Saturn start with back and forth wrestling while the partners stand politely on the apron.  They start bringing in the plunder and taking crazy bumps at around the 7 minute mark.  With these bumps into ladders, it’s no wonder Perry Saturn has always been a bit touched in the head.  Saturn splashes Van Dam off a ladder.  Sabu kicks the ladder into Kronus, then puts him through a table at ringside.  Joey with the classic “OH MY GOD!”  The Eliminators keep the title when Kronus pins RVD after 2 Total Eliminations in 20:40.  Wild and fun.

And now, a brief digression.  I was chatting with a friend on Facebook (shout out, Shawn!) about memories of early 2000s wrestling and the time that Triple H defended the WWF title against TAKA Michinoku on Raw popped into my head.  I searched YouTube, and…

WWF Championship Match: Triple H (c) (w/ Shane McMahon & WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TAKA Michinoku (w/ Funaki & The Acolytes) (RAW IS WAR, 4/10/00).  TAKA is a mystery opponent.  He hires the Acolyte Protection Agency to watch his back and they immediately run off Shane McMahon.  This match is all kinds of fun.  TAKA gets his shine and Jim Ross convinces you that he has a shot to win the WWF title.  It doesn’t help that Hunter is being a real shit ass to referee Earl Hebner.  Earl lets it go when Funaki dropkicks Triple H into the APA and the APA beat the hell out of him.  Vince and Shane McMahon come out and distract the Acolytes.  The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan Pearl Harbor TAKA’s protectors, and Hunter hits the Pedigree for the pin in 5:53.  The dastardly heels put the boots to The Acolytes.  Man, this was fun and brought back fond memories of being a 12 year old WWF mark.

I’ve had a rough week and felt pretty miserable about life a few hours ago.  This heaping does of pro wrestling nostalgia was exactly what I needed.  I hope to find some free time again soon to watch the rest of the ECW set and the new CM Punk release.

TNA Turning Point 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 10, 2010 by Grappleholic

The opening video is more of Jeff Hardy’s drug fueled ramblings.

Turning Point!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  The PPV is opening with Shore.  Wonderful.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  They lock  up.  Robbie has a fist on the back of his trunks.  Is his gimmick that he loves to jerk off?  Lethal wins the lock up and the Shore tard bails to give instructions to Becky Bayless’ tits.  They lock up again.  Lethal shines and hits some arm drags.  Robbie has fists on his knee pads too.  He must really love jerking it.  Lethal backdrops him out of the ring to the floor, which I enjoyed.  The Shore tards avoids getting hit by Lethal’s baseball slide dropkick, but Lethal drops Robbie with a chop.  Lethal beats up Robbie on the outside, then throws him back inside.  Lethal hits a springboard missile dropkick for 2.  Lethal hits a hip toss, then cartwheels into a dropkick for 2.  Lethal lands an elbow smash and goes for the Lethal Combination, but Robbie counters and hot shots Lethal into the ropes.  Robbie grounds & pounds Lethal, then covers for 2.  Robbie keeps the heat on Lethal.  Lethal tries to fight back, but gets whipped hard into the corner.  Cover gets 2.  Robbie dances like a Jersey retard, then applies an abdominal stretch.  Lethal breaks out, but gets caught with an elbow smash.  Cover gets 2 for the tard.  Robbie hugs Lethal from behind.  Robbie works Lethal’s ribs.  Lethal makes his comeback and gets rolling.  Lethal gets a sunset flip, but Cookie distracts the referee.  Lethal goes to yell at her.  Robbie tries to jump Lethal, but gets thrown outside.  Lethal lands a tope suicida.  Lethal beats up Robbie on the outside.  Back inside, Cookie tries to spray Lethal with hairspray.  Lethal takes it away from her, then hits Robbie with the Lethal Combination.  Lethal goes up top.  Cookie grabs his leg.  Robbie crotches him, then hits a neckbreaker for the pin in 10:40.  Good match, but I still hate everything about this retarded gimmick.

Tenay and Taz hype the rest of tonight’s card.

Christy Hemme interviews Mickie James.

Tara vs. Mickie James.  Idiot Borash almost announces it as a Knockouts title match.  Mickie rushes to the ring in her chaps.  They brawl.  Is she seriously going to wrestle on chaps?  Mickie shines.  Tara bails.  Mickie invites her back in to the ring.  Tara hits a neckbreaker across the top rope.  Tara goes for the Widow’s Peak, but Mickie counters into a sunset flip for 2.  Mickie applies a hair pull half crab briefly.  Tara bails again and pulls Mickie out of the ring.  They pull each others’ hair and roll back into the ring.  Tara throws Mickie across the ring by her hair.  Tara hits a suplex into a front choke, then pulls her hair.  Mickie fights back and takes Tara outside with a head scissors.  Mickie hits a diving Thesz press from the apron.  Back inside, Mickie hits a missile dropkick.  She goes for the spin kick, but Tara catches her leg and makes her do the splits.  Mickie counters a suplex and goes for a DDT.  Tara counters, sets her on the top rope, and goes for something, but they kind of fall.  They hit teach other on the top rope, then tumble to the floor.  They pull each others’ hair on the outside.  Tara gets whipped into the side of the ring.  They fight into the crowd.  The referee is out there with them instead of counting in the fucking ring.  He gets shoved and calls for a DQ in 8:15.  They keep fighting anyway.  Tara hits Mickie with a broom and breaks it over her back.  Mickie hits Tara with a trash can.  They brawl some more.  Security geeks break them up.  Mickie goes back to the ring and challenges Tara again.  So they brawl in the ring again and start ripping each others’ clothes off.  Yay!  D’Lo Brown, Pat Kenney, and security geeks break them up.  They fight again.  They get broken up again.  This went on too long for my taste.  Still, it was 1000 times better than other current TNA women’s matches and at least they treated it like a grudge match.

Team 3D/Motor City Machine Guns hype video.

Christy Hemme interviews Team 3D.  Tonight is allegedly their last match.

Tag Lines!

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Team 3D.  Shelley and Devon shake hands and lock up.  They break and lock up again, then trade arm locks.  Devon takes Shelley down with a side headlock.  Shelley transitions into a head scissors, then breaks.  They lock up again  and trade holds.  Devon lands a flying shoulder block for 2.  Shelley drops out of a suplex attempt and avoids Devon in the corner.  Shelley ducks punches.  Devon ducks an enzuigiri.  Shelley drops Devon and tags in Sabin.  Guns go for the Skull & Bones, but Devon escapes, drops them, and tags in Ray.  3D go for the 3D, but Sabin bails to avoid it.  Sabin and Ray tear into each other.  Sabin lands some forearms and a springboard cross body for 2.  Ray boots Sabin in the face.  Devon tags in.  3D double team Sabin.  Cover, but Shelley saves.  Shelley blind tags in.  Guns double team Devon.  Cover gets 2.  Shelley goes for a diving stomp, but Devon avoids it and tags in Ray.  Ray works Shelley’s knee.  Shelley avoids getting squashed by a big splash and tags in Sabin.  Guns double team Ray.  Guns knock Devon to the floor and Shelley hits a tope suicida.  Ray avoids Sabin’s dive on the other side of the ring.  Ray charges, but Sabin moves and Ray smashes into the post.  Back inside, the Guns work Ray over.  Ray is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Sabin goes for a Frankensteiner off the top, but takes too long, allowing Ray to powerbomb him off the top!  Cover takes too long and gets 2.  Shelley tags in and prevents a tag from being made in the 3D corner.  Shelley kicks the crap out of Ray.  Ray asks for more and chops Shelley.  Repeat.  Shelley lands an enzuigiri, then goes for a rebound something.  Bubba catches him with an Ace Crusher in midair!  Devon and Sabin tag in.  Devon runs wild.  Devon hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Devon hits a powerslam for 2.  Devon hits a neckbreaker, but Shelley saves.  Guns double team Devon.  Devon slams them into each other.  Devon hits a 360 lariat on Sabin and goes up top.  Devon hits a diving headbutt, but Shelley saves.  Bubba blind tags in and hits the Guns with a double enzui lariat.  3D hit the inverted 3D on Sabin for 2.  3D hit the Wassup headbutt on Shelley.  Bubba tells Devon to get the tables, presumably so they can ruin their final match with a DQ finish.  3D set up the table and triy to whip Sabin through it, but Sabin runs up and flips back.  Bubba goes through the table.  Guns double superkick Devon for 2.  Guns hit Skull & Bones for 2.  Shelley goes for the Shiranui.  Devon fights them off.  3D on Sabin.  Sabin kicks out!  3D are in shock.  They go for it again, but Sabin DDTs Devon, then avoids Bubba’s elbow drop,  Shelley superkicks Bubba.  Guns hit the Skull & Bones on Bubba.  Shelley gets the pin in 17:07.  AWESOME match!  Everybody hugs and makes friends.

Christy Hemme interviews Tommy Dreamer.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam.  They lock up, break, lock up, break, lock up.  Dreamer ducks a kick and gets a schoolboy for 2.  RVD gets a leg scissors cradle for 2.  They argue, then start punching each other.  RVD hits an ineffective shoulder block.  Dreamer hits a clothesline.  RVD bails.  Dreamer hits a diving clothesline off the apron.  RVD kicks Dreamer in the head.  RVD drops Dreamer’s balls across the barricade, then hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDRAIL LEG DROP!  RVD throws a chair into the ring.  There was no ring announcing for this match, so I have no idea what the gimmick is.  Either it’s legal or the referee is an idiot, because RVD grinds the chair into Dreamer’s face.  He tries a slingshot leg drop, but ends up just leg dropping the chair.  Dreamer works RVD’s leg.  Dreamer puts RVD in the tree of woe with the chair.  RVD moves.  Dreamer puts him back in position.  RVD moves again.  Dreamer hits a hangman’s neckbreaker.  Dreamer brings in a ladder and a fresh chair.  RVD stumbles around and tries to dropkick the ladder into Dreamer.  Dreamer avoids it and hits RVD in the face with a ladder.  Dreamer bulldogs RVD into the ladder for 2.  Dreamer goes for a diving elbow drop and hits it on the ladder.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder on the ladder.  That poor, defenseless ladder.  Dreamer hits a sloppy frog splash on RVD for 2.  Dreamer looks to have injured his wrist.  RVD hits a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Eww… you can see the bone poking into the skin on Dreamer’s wrist.  RVD covers for 2.  Dreamer fights back.  RVD kicks him, then slams him onto a chair and goes for the split legged moonsault.  Dreamer moves and chair eats it.  RVD hits Dreamer in the head with the ladder.  Dreamer avoids the Five Star Frog Splash and hits a piledriver for 2 despite the ref clearly seeing RVD’s hand under the ropes.  Dreamer sets up RVD in the corner and uses the ladder as a platform.  He goes for a superplex, but ends up getting crotched on the ladder.  Dreamer falls back still trapped in the ladder.  Ouch.  RVD hits a running dropkick using the chair.  The announcers beg RVD to pin Dreamer and end this debacle.  Dreamer avoids the Five Star Frog Splash again and goes for the Spiccoli Driver, but fails.  RVD whips him into the ladder and goes for the Spiccoli Driver, but fails.  Dreamer tries the DDT, but fails and gets dropped across the chair.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 15:56.  What a sloppy mess of a match.  They make up, presumably realizing that the world should not be subjected to having to watch them wrestle each other again.

Christy Hemme interviews Fortune.

Fortune/EV2.0 hype video.

They’ve turned Borash down so low you can barely hear him.

TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, & Doug Williams of Fortune vs. Rhino, Sabu, Raven, & Stevie Richards, & Brian Kendrick of EV2.0.  Kazarian slaps Kendrick leading to everybody brawling.  Kendrick’s knee gets injured.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Richards for 2.  Kendrick is helped to the back.  It finally breaks down into a tag match as Beer Money double team Richards.  Fortune take turns working over Richards.  He’s the worker of the team, so he has to take the abuse.  Richards catches Kazarian as he goes for Richards’ own superkick and hits him with his own Complete Shot.  Rhino and Storm tag in.  Rhino runs wild.  The other Fortune dudes come in and get their asses kicked.  Rhino goes for the Gore on Storm, but Roode trips him.  Styles hits Rhino with the springboard forearm.  Storm covers for 2.  Roode works over Rhino.  Raven, as he’s done constantly throughout the match, makes random saves.  Rhino takes his turn as the face in peril for a while.  He drops Storm with either a Samoan drop or a half assed TKO.  Styles and Sabu tag in.  Sabu runs wild, looks like crap, and hits a dive on Fortune.  Raven crotches Styles on the top rope.  Sabu goes for a superplex, but Styles fights him off.  Styles goes for the springboard 450, but Sabu avoids it and hits a tornado DDT.  Williams saves.  Everybody hits finishers: Stevie Kick, Axe Guillotine Driver, Evenflow DDT, BEER!  MONEY! double suplex, GORE!  Clusterfuck.  Sabu goes for a tope rope Frankensteiner on Styles, but Styles turns it into the Styles Clash for the pin in 12:04.  Good match.  Ric Flair comes out, praises Fortune, and fires Sabu.  Sabu wants to fight Flair for insulting The Sheik, but is held back.  Flair horribly sings a goodbye song.  RVD and Dreamer come out to say goodbye to Sabu.

Christy Hemme interviews “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero (w/ his congregation, including his brother).  Mickie James and Tara brawl into the interview area.  The congregation break them up.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne hits Mickie from behind with the belt.  Madison and Tara scream at Mickie.

Abyss/Pope hype video.

Lumberjack Match: Abyss vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope beats up Abyss and dropkicks him out of the ring.  Abyss gets back in before the Black Panthers can attack him.  Pope beats up Abyss some more.  Abyss throws Pope out of the ring.  Some congregation members catch him and set him down gently.  Back inside, Pope fails a sunset flip, but hits a diving lariat for 2.  Pope clotheslines Abyss out of the ring.  The congregation throw him back in.  Abyss boots Pope in the face and starts beating him up.  Abyss bear hugs Pope.  Pope fights back.  Abyss hugs him again.  Abyss goes for the Black Hole Slam, but Pope turns it into a DDT.  Pope makes his comeback.  This is boring.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss goes for a chokeslam, but Pope counters and knocks Abyss out of the ring.  He fights off the congregation, but Pope hits him with a dive off the top rope.  Back inside, Pope hits a diving headbutt for 2.  Pope beats up Abyss some more and celebrates with the congregation.  Eric Bischoff comes out and rubs his thumbs and forefingers together as the international sign of money.  Pope’s brother jumps him from behind.  The congregation beat up the Pope.  A fucking swerve just for the sake of doing a fucking swerve.  Pope’s brother throws him back into the ring.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin after a long, boring 12:51.  Boring shit, and of course we have to have a fucking swerve for no reason.  And why do they always wait until late in a match to do the swerve?  What if the match had ended in 2 minutes and you never got the chance to unveil your master plan?

Christy Hemme tries to go into the EV2.0 locker room to talk to Sabu.  Stevie Richards comes out instead and cuts a promo on Fortune.  He challenges AJ Styles to a match on iMPACT!

Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe hype video.

Jeff Jarrett comes out and cuts a promo.  He threatens to shut down the show if the fans don’t stop chanting “YOU SOLD OUT!”  He goes to leave, but Joe comes out and chases  him back to the ring.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe.  Joe wins the lock up.  Jarrett tries to take Joe down, but fails.  Jarrett avoids an elbow drop.  Jarrett ducks a kick and gets a schoolboy for 0.  Joe drops Jarrett with a leg lariat.  Joe beats up Jarrett.  Jarrett beats up Joe.  They trade chops.  That’s a battle that Jarrett is not going to win.  And he doesn’t.  Jarrett counters a powerbomb, trips Jarrett, and locks in an ankle lock.  Jarrett does that “running into a guy against the ropes” and “sliding through the ropes and hitting a guy” stuff that I never know how to describe.  Jarrett comes off the top to hit Joe.  It works once, but fails the second time.  Joe gives a primal yell and kills Jarrett with a lariat for 2.  Joe hits a senton splash for 2.  Jarrett hits the Stroke for 2.  Joe hits an Exploder and goes for the Muscle Buster.  He fails that, goes for a superplex, and still fails.  Jarrett pulls Joe’s head across the top rope and hits the Stroke off the middle rope!  Joe kicks out again!  Jarrett gets a chair.  The referee goes out to stop him.  Joe hits them with a tope suicida.  Joe beats up Jarrett in the ring.  Gunner and Murphy come out and get their asses kicked.  Joe gives the little on the Muscle Buster.  Jarrett attacks Joe with a night stick.  Jarrett chokes Joe out with the stick.  Jarrett locks Joe in Joe’s on Coquina Clutch.  The big geek sends the referee back in.  The referee stops the match and awards it to Jarrett in 10:31.  2 fuck finishes in a row.

Highlight video of the show which isn’t over yet.  They really don’t have any faith at all that the main event will be any good, do they?

Christy Hemme interviews Eric Bischoff, who is celebrating with all of the dudes who betrayed The Pope.

Jeff Hardy/Matt Morgan hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Matt Morgan.  They lock up.  Morgan shoves Hardy.  Hardy bails.  Back inside, Hardy goes for a go behind, but Morgan elbows him in the head.  Hardy sits in the corner and looks sad and befuddled.  Hardy has a flurry of shitty punches, then tries to shoulder block Morgan like an idiot and gets dropped.  Hardy hides in the ropes and gouges Morgan’s eyes.  Hardy tries to beat on Morgan, but Morgan throws him out of the ring.  Hardy wanders around outside.  Morgan challenges him to get back in the ring.  Hardy spits at him.  Morgan follows him out, then back into the ring.  Hardy tries to get in a cheap shot, but fails.  Morgan beats up Hardy on the apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Morgan hits a body slam, but misses a leg drop.  Hardy hits a basement dropkick and starts working Morgan’s leg.  Half assed elbow drop gets 1.  Hardy applies the least painful looking leg lock I’ve ever seen, then transitions into a less ridiculous half crab.  Morgan gets a rope break.  Hardy argues with the referee, then goes back to working Morgan’s leg.  Hardy gets a 2 count off of something, then applies a rear chin lock.  Morgan escapes and makes a comeback.  Morgan hits a discus lariat for 2.  I always pop for that move.  Hardy hits a DDT for 2.  Hardy hits a leg drop, goes to the middle rope, does his brother’s pose, and dives.  Morgan catches him with a chokeslam for 2.  Hardy kicks Morgan in the balls right in front of the referee and doesn’t get admonished.  He hits the Twist of Hate (sic) for 2.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint for 2.  Hardy didn’t kick out, the referee just stopped counting after Hardy kind of lightly kicked him in the head.  Morgan argues with him.  Hardy hits another Twist of Hate for 2.  Hardy argues with the referee.  Morgan beats up Hardy in the corner.  Morgan goes for a backdrop suplex off the top, but Hardy fights him off and hits the Whisper In The Wind.  Hardy hits another Twist of Hate for the pin in 13:05.  This was terrible.  Immortal come out to celebrate with Hardy.  There’s confetti and champagne to celebrate this abortion of a main event.  Flair gets iced.  Again.  Seriously.

The show started off good, then fell off a cliff to the point where the last few matches were horrible.  Further evidence that this company is WCW 2.0.

TNA iMPACT! 11/4/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on iMPACT!…” video.  Of course, most of the shit they show happened AFTER iMPACT!

“Kung-Fu Bischoff”

Ric Flair pumps up Eric Bischoff, who will apparently face Mr. Anderson tonight.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Tenay keeps accusing Taz of cozying up to Immortal, despite all evidence of that being to the contrary.  Because Tenay is mentally retarded like most of the people in this company.

Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, and a referee come out to the ring.  Bischoff says Matt Morgan is no longer a member of Fortune or Immortal and wishes him luck in his future endeavors.  Bischoff talks shit about Mr. Anderson.  He says if Anderson beats him tonight, he can have a title shot at the PPV, and if Anderson doesn’t wrestle despite his various injures, he will never get a title shot.  Bischoff bitches at the referee who unlocked Matt Morgan from the chain last week, then beats him up and fires him.  This show is going to suck.

iMPACT! open.

Tonight, Tara & Generation Me vs. Mickie James & Ink Inc.!  The Pope vs. Abyss!  More bullshit that nobody cares about!

Fortune walks around backstage.  Williams gets annoyed by some comments Styles makes.  Commercials.

In the EV2.0 locker room, Brian Kendrick reads Mick Foley’s book to the other guys while getting a massage.  Rob Van Dam comes in.  Raven isn’t there, so RVD assumes he’s the traitor.  They all bicker.  Fortune come in.  Styles talks shit to them and says that one of them will be fired Sunday.  He talks shit to Rhino.  Rhino tries to Gore Styles and accidentally Gores RVD.  Of course, RVD will assume that it was on purpose.

Video clips of Jeff Hardy injuring Ken Anderson’s arm.

Tenay and Taz talk to Ken Anderson on the phone.

Up next, Sarita vs. Velvet Sky.

The Beautiful People are doing their makeup.  Like ALWAYS.  Velvet doesn’t want Love at ringside tonight.  Love agrees.  Velvet leaves.  Winter appears again.  Love blows her off.  I wish they’d blow off this retarded fucking angle.  Commercials.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Sarita vs. Velvet Sky.  Sky applies a full nelson.  Sarita switches behind and tries something, but fails.  Velvet hits a rana and a sloppy arm drag.  Sarita lands some chops.  Velvet responds in kind.  Her chops look horrible.  Sarita flips around and pulls Velvet’s hair.  Velvet escapes and hits a sloppy dropkick.  Sarita holds onto the ropes to avoid a DDT.  Sarita goes for the Tiger Driver, but gets countered.  Sarita sloppily and boringly beats up Velvet.  Velvet counters the Tiger Driver again and maker his sloppy comeback.  Sarita goes for a backdrop suplex, but Velvet lands on top for 2.  Velvet hits a jawbreaker Sarita throws Velvet out of the ring.  Back in the ring, Sarita finally hits the Tiger Driver for the pin in 4:04.  This was terrible.

Eric Bischoff practices punching Jeff Jarrett’s hands.  They talk about the possibility of Jarrett apologizing to Joe.  Commercials.

Fortune walks backstage.  Kazarian and Williams are arguing again.  Flair says the Horsemen settled their differences in the ring.  I’m almost certain that never happened.  Williams convinces Christy Hemme to interview him.  The microphone isn’t working, so Mr. Anderson’s microphone comes down.  Retarded.

Generation Me & Tara vs. Ink Inc. & Mickie James.  Jeremy and Neal lock up.  Jeremy pulls Neal’s mowhak, then slaps him.  Neal hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Moore tags in and hits the Eddie hilo and a sloppy arm drag.  Moore works the arm while Mickie and Tara have to be held back on the apron.  Ink Inc. double team Jeremy.  Max tags in and gets beaten up by Neal.  Neckbreaker gets 2.  Max sends Neal to the apron.  Tara pulls his mowhawk.  One of the Bucks dropkicks Neal off the apron.  Back inside, Max covers for 2.  Tara does some retarded half assed backwards tarantula on Neal for a second.  I don’t know.  Bucks keep getting the heat on Neal.  The match continues in this vein for some time.  Neal sends the Bucks crashing into each other and makes the hot tag to Moore.  Moore runs wild until Tara cheap shots him from the apron.  Mickie hits a top rope Frankensteiner on Max.  Neal hits a suicide dive on Jeremy.  Moore hits a moonsault body block on Max, but Tara saves.  Mickie kicks her ass.  CATFIGHT!  Max stalks Mickie.  Mickie nails him with a kick.  Ink Inc. hit the Samoan Drop/blockbuster combo on Max.  Moore gets the pin in 5:48.  Okay match.  The heels jump the faces from behind after the match.

Eric Young and Orlando Jordan talk to a relationship therapist.  Young thinks they’re a tag team.  Jordan thinks they’re a couple.

Jeff Jarrett is headed our way!  Commercials.

Team 3D and TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns chat backstage about their match at Turning Point.

Video package of Jeff Jarrett’s evil deeds.

Jeff Jarrett comes out and cuts a promo.  He’s mad that Kurt Angle went after Flair and Bischoff instead of him.  He then says he wished he had thrown Samoa Joe off of something higher.  He says he didn’t sell out, he bought in.  Alright then.  Jarrett starts to leave.  Samoa Joe BURSTS THROUGH THE ENTRANCE RAMP and kicks Jarrett’s ass.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster.  Gunner and Murphy try to make the save.  Joe kicks their asses.  Jarrett leaves.  Gunner and Murphy jump Joe again.  Joe kicks their asses again and gives the little on the Muscle Buster.

Rob Van Dam whines to no one in particular about how he doesn’t trust anyone.  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff stretches in the office.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Television Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs. Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam.  Styles talks shit to RVD.  RVD shoves him.  Rhino throws Styles out of the ring.  Rhino and RVD argue.  Rhino goes after Styles and gets reversed into the steps.  RVD tries to springboard at Styles back inside, but gets caught with a dropkick.  Styles beats up RVD.  RVD hits a monkey flip.  RVD beats up Styles.  Styles beats up RVD.  Rhino trips Styles and comes back in to beat him up.  Rhino goes for the Gore, but Styles side steps it and Rhino hits the corner.  RVD drops Styles with a kick, slams him, and goes for the Rolling Thunder.  Styles gets up and whips him into the corner.  RVD backdrops Styles, then kicks him when he tries to springboard.  Styles falls to the floor.  Rhino and RVD argue again.  Styles springboards and hits them, then schoolboys RVD for the pin in 3:52.  Meh.

RVD and Rhino keep arguing.  EV2.0 come out to make peace.  Raven is there this time.  RVD decks him.  Dreamer tries to talk some sense into RVD.  RVD is whining about not trusting anyone.  He accuses Dreamer of being the rat.  Dreamer challenges him to a match at the PPV.  RVD agrees.  That’s gonna suck.

Kazarian vs. Williams is NEXT!  Commercials.

House shows!

Abyss rants and raves backstage.

Ric Flair comes out to do commentary on the next match.

Doug Williams vs. Kazarian.  They trade arm locks.  Stalemate.  Awesome.  No applause.  The iMPACT! Zone mutants have no respect for wrestling.  Beer Money come out to ringside.  Williams takes Kazarian down with a headlock.  Kazarian turns it into a cradle.  Awesome.  Kazarian goes for a sunset flip, but Kazarian squashes it for 2.  They do a Greco-Roman knuckle lock.  Kazarian kicks Williams’ leg out from under him and lands a kick for 2.  Williams makes his comeback.  Kazarian blocks the Chaos Theory and hits a cross body.  Williams rolls through for 2.  Williams hits an Exploder for 2.  James Storm gets on the apron for no fucking reason.  Kazarian schoolboys Williams for the pin in 4:07.  Okay match.  Kazarian, Williams, and Beer Money argue.  Flair gets in the ring.  Crowd chants “WE WANT MORGAN!”  Flair has been sucking on a lollipop this whole time for some reason.  He makes Williams and Kazarian shake hands.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks backstage to no one in particular.  Commercials.

Eric Young lays with his head on Orlando Jordan’s lap and babbles.  They’re still with the damn therapist.  Jordan says “I’m bi.”  Young says “Polar!”  Stupid shit.

Abyss vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope beats up Abyss.  Abyss beats up Pope.  Abyss throws Pope out of the ring and beats him up outside.  Hebner doesn’t bother to count because it’s retarded.  Abyss attacks fans, which gets him DQ’d in 1:51.  Abyss beats up more fans.  Al Snow, D’Lo Brown, and security geeks come out to stop him.  Pope challenges Abyss to a Lumberjack Match at the PPV with the fans as lumberjacks.  Yes, they’re going to put fans CLOSER to the man who is attacking them.  I fucking hate this retarded company.

Robbie E. and Cookie talk backstage.  Ugh.  I fucking hate this retarded company.

Turning Point hype.

Eric Bischoff is headed our way.  Geeks argue.  Somebody calls somebody else an asshole.  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff comes out with the contract for the title match.  He cuts a promo on Mr. Anderson, then makes Borash read a ridiculous match introduction.  Borash goes along with for a while, then says “this is ridiculous.  He’s not here.”  Bischoff says everyone knows that and challenges Borash to a match.  Bischoff cheap shots Borash and beats him up.  Anderson’s music plays.  Matt Morgan appears behind Bischoff.

Eric Bischoff vs. Matt Morgan.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint for the pin in no time because the opening bell never rang.  End of show.

Fucking shit.  As always.  Fuck this company.

TNA iMPACT! 10/28/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2010 by Grappleholic

Video package of recent goings on.

“Chained To Fate”

Mickie James and Tara are brawling  backstage.  Madison Rayne jumps in to help Tara.  The Beautiful People show up to help Mickie.  Sarita shows up to help Madison and Tara.  So now we have a six woman brawl going all over the place.  They fight into the arena, except for Tara and Mickie, who are still backstage.  The only plus side of this is that most of them are wearing tight jeans.  Mickie and Tara fight into the arena.  This shit has been going on for 5 minutes now.  They’re all in the ring now.  Ric Flair, Gunner, and Murphy come out to try to break it up.  After 6 fucking minutes of this shit.  Flair gets slapped by Tara, then by Mickie.  Flair tells everyone to get a grip and threatens to “make a woman” out of them.  Flair books them in a six woman tag match.  So Flair has booking power now?  Everybody keeps brawling.  Fucking stupid shit.

iMPACT! open.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Tonight, Robbie E. vs. Jay Lethal in a Street Fight!  Motor City Machine Guns vs. Ink Inc. vs. Generation Me for the Tag titles!  Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Anderson in a Chain Match!

The Pope is pushing a casket around.  Taz says “I hope it’s not some bad ass looking to take on an MMA guy.”  Commercials.

Jeff Hardy video package.

Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair talk and laugh about the stupid shit that just happened.  Flair asks where Hogan is.  Bischoff says he’s making an acquisition.  Bischoff bitches at Gunner and Murphy for letting Kurt Angle attack their car last week.  He says if Angle gets in tonight, he’s going to take their asses.  Some dude comes in upset that Anderson is in a match tonight when he as a concussion.  Bischoff laughs it off, because see, he’s EVIL!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring cutting a promo about Abyss.  Abyss appears in the crowd and cuts a promo on him, then kidnaps some fans.  Seriously.  Pope runs after them.

Jeff Jarrett talks backstage.  He’ll face Joe at Turning Point and Anderson tonight.  Commercials.

Ric Flair is hitting on some chick backstage.  Matt Morgan comes in and tells Flair he’s upset about Anderson having to wrestle with a concussion tonight.  They bicker for a while.  Morgan is still upset.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Non-Title Jersey Shore Street Fight: Robbie E. (w/ Cookie) vs. TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal.  They brawl.  Robbie bails.  Lethal hits him with a dive.  Lethal hits Robbie with a trash can lid, then suplexes him onto a road sign.  Lethal crotches Robbie in a saw horse barrier thing, then pounds on him.  Back inside, Robbie hits an elbow smash for 2.  Another cover gets another 2.  Cookie gives Robbie a Singapore cane.  Lethal takes the cane and wails on Robbie with it.  Lethal puts a trash can lid on Robbie’s head and canes the lid.  Lethal goes up top.  Cookie grabs his foot, then sprays some shit in his eyes.  Robbie hits a neckbreaker for the pin in 4:58.  Crap.  I fucking hate this Jersey Shore gimmick.  Robbie gets a title shot at the PPV now.

The Beautiful People bitch about the heel women.  Velvet leaves.  Love sees Winter again.  I have no idea what the fuck the point of this is and neither does the idiot who came up with the idea.  Velvet comes back.  Winter has turned back into the fat seamstress.  Look, I know that wrestling is fake, but it’s not supposed to be fiction.  Commercials.

Video package of the “RVD doesn’t trust EV2.0” shit from last week.

EV2.0 and Brian Kendrick are in the ring.  Kendrick is sitting in the corner reading a book (probably Foley’s book).  Dreamer calls out RVD.  RVD comes out.  Dreamer says Sabu hitting RVD with the chair last week was an accident.  RVD doesn’t think so and doesn’t trust anyone.  Dreamer says this is exactly what Bischoff wants.  RVD asks Raven what he’s laughing at.  Raven (in his Marine Corps jacket) says RVD should lay off the weed.  RVD thinks Raven is the traitor.  EV2.0 holds them back from fighting.  Fortune come out.  Flair says RVD & Raven will face Styles & Kazarian tonight.

Up next, women wrestle poorly!  Commercials!

Fortune argue amongst themselves.  Williams has his panties in a wad about something.  Morgan says “fuck this” and leaves.  Flair says it’ll be Williams teaming with Styles against RVD & Raven tonight.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne, Tara, & Sarita vs. Mickie James & The Beautiful People.  Mickie and the BPs jump the heels during their entrance.  Gunner and Murphy try to restore order again.  They finally restore order and the match starts.  Rayne and Love fight.  Love and Tara fight.  The BPs hit a double side Russian leg sweep on Tara.  Velvet  hits a spinning headscissors on Tara.  Mickie and Sarita tag in.  Mickie hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Lots of ref distractions allow Sarita to get the advantage on Mickie.  Rayne humps Mickie’s head into the mat.  Tara pulls Mickie’s hair.  Mickie hits a Regal Cutter.  Love and Sarita tag in.  Love runs wild.  Tara and Rayne hit her from behind.  Mickie tags in and runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Velvet DDTS Sarita.  Save.   Everybody brawls.  Rayne hits her finish on Love.  Mickie hits Rayne with a DDT.  Tara hits the Widow’s Peak in Mickie.  The BPs kick Tara.  Sarita hits a Tiger Driver on Sky for the pin in 6:04.  Shitty match, but I enjoyed seeing a Tiger Driver.

Pope walks around backstage.  He hears a woman screaming and runs toward it.  Commercials.

Abyss jumps the Pope.  The kidnapped people run away.  Pope and Abyss brawl.  Abyss puts Pope in a casket, then retrieves Janice.  Abyss beats the casket with the nail board.  Fucking stupid shit.  I fucking hate this company.

Generation Me cut a promo in the ring.  Ink Inc. come out to make fun of them.  The tag title three-way is NEXT!  Commercials!

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Generation Me vs. Ink Inc.  Neal and Jeremy lock up.  Neal scores a knockdown with a shoulder block, then hits an arm drag and a neckbreaker for 2.  Max blind tags in and pulls Neal into the top rope for 2.  The Bucks knock the Guns off of the apron in awesome fashion.  The Bucks work over Neal for a while.  Neal catches Jeremy in midair with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Moore.  Moore runs wild on Max.  Moore hits a spin kick and covers, but Jeremy saves.  Moore hits a double rana on the Bucks.  Moore backdrops Neal out of the ring onto the Bucks.  Sabin hits Max with a tope suicida.  Moore hits Max with a Lionsault body block for 2.  Ink Inc. work over Max.  The Guns and Ink Inc. beat up the Bucks.  Ink Inc. hit their Samoan drop/Blockbuster on Sabin.  Jeremy pulls the referee out of the ring.  Moore hits a dive on Jeremy.  Guns hit the Skull & Bones on Neal.  Sabin pins Neal in 5:50 to retain the titles.  Fun little match.  Team 3D come out.  Bubba talks for a while, then challenges the Guns to a tag title match at Turning Point.  Guns agree.

Eric Bischoff is on the phone.  Matt Morgan comes in to complain about Anderson being forced to wrestle with a concussion.  Bischoff is still evil and thinks its a great idea.

Up next, Jeff Hardy!  Commercials.

Matt Morgan wants to talk to Ken Anderson, but the trainer doesn’t trust him.  Morgan talks him into it.

Tenay and Taz talk.

Turning Point hype.

Another weird pre-taped Jeff Hardy rambling segment.

Rob Van Dam!  Commercials!

TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles & Douglas Williams vs. Rob Van Dam & Raven.  Styles and Williams jump Raven before RVD comes out.  RVD politely waits until his music plays before he slowly walks out to the ring and does his pyro.  Styles and Williams jump RVD.  RVD throws Williams out of the ring.  Raven hits Styles with a cross body that sends them both outside.  Williams attacks RVD.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder.  Cover, but Styles saves.  Styles and Williams get the heat on RVD.  Styles hits a knee drop for 2.  They keep working over RVD and knocking Raven off the apron.  Ric Flair comes out, pulls Raven off the apron, and clocks him with the TV belt.  Flair leaves.  RVD goes to make a tag and sees an empty corner.  He doesn’t know what happened.  He makes his own comeback, then sees Raven taking a nap.  Styles and Williams beat up RVD.  Williams and Styles argue about who’s going to make the cover.  Styles slaps Williams on the ass to tag himself in.  Williams hits a diving knee drop on RVD.  Styles steals the pin in 5:46.  Okay then.

Up next, Jarrett vs. Anderson!  Commercials!

TNA wrestlers on the Family Feud!

Jeff Jarrett comes out and calls out Mr. Anderson.  Anderson’s music plays, but Matt Morgan comes out instead.  The show ends.

The usual overbooked TNA train wreck of a show.

 

TNA iMPACT! 10/21/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on iMPACT!…” video.

“Rob Van Damned!!!”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Ken Anderson comes out with his arm in a sling.  He calls out Jeff Hardy.  Rob Van Dam comes out instead and tells Anderson to wait in line, because he wants Hardy.  Jeff Hardy appears on the screen and cuts another retarded promo with stupid camera effects.  Eric Bischoff comes out.  He says that he’s going to explain this whole stupid angle on Reaction.  He books Anderson vs. Kazarian in an Ultimate X Match tonight, and Anderson gets a title shot of he wins.  He also books RVD & Sabu vs. Beer Money, and implies that there is someone in EV2.0 who wants to join Immortal.  At least that’s a better name than Team Hogan.

iMPACT! open.

Tonight, Sarita vs. Mickie James!  Beer Money vs. RVD & Sabu!  Anderson vs. Kazarian in an Ultimate X Match!

Stupid Robbie E. and Cookie outside of the venue interview.  Commercials.

D’Lo Brown tries to calm down RVD as he barges into the EZV2.0 locker room.  He accuses Stevie Richards, Sabu, and Tommy Dreamer of being moles.  Raven says something, so RVD chokes him.  Dreamer, Richards, Sabu, Rhino, and Brown pull them apart.

Last week, TNA pissed away $15,000 bringing in some Jersey Shore bimbo that nobody’s ever heard of to get into a cat fight with Becky Bayless.  They’re so proud, they’re showing it again.  They show more of the retarded interview from earlier.  I hate this shit.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Amazing Red vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  They show that motherfucking JWoww segment AGAIN before the match.  Robbie beats up Red.  Red fights back and hits a flying headscissors.  Red lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Robbie counters a diving cross body, dances like a tard, and hits an Ace Crusher for the pin in 1:40.  Ugh.  Robbie says he wants the X Division.  Crowd chants “BORING.”  Cookie says the same fucking catchphrase she says every week.  Is this gimmick supposed to suck?  If it does, then bravo, TNA.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero cuts a promo at a strip club.  He wants to fight AJ Styles, but first he wants to watch this chick shake her ass in his face.  Commercials.

They show Mick Foley at a book signing.  Brian Kendrick asks confusing literary questions.

Fortune chat amongst themselves backstage.  Flair gets iced.  Again.  Bischoff comes in and tells them that Fortune is banned from interfering in Styles’ street fight against Pope.  If they do, Pope will win the title by DQ.  In a fucking street fight.

The Beautiful People put makeup on.  Just like they do every fucking time we see them.  Miss Tessmacher comes in and asks them to teach her how to wrestle.  Why doesn’t she ask someone who actually knows how to wrestle?  They blow her off.  Velvet and Lacey leave.  Katie Lea Burchill appears behind Angelina.  Her name is Winter now.  Velvet and Lacey come back.  Winter has disappeared.  So they’re doing the invisible person gimmick again.  Commercials.

Street Fight for the TNA World Television Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope’s money doesn’t tall down during his entrance.  Tenay and Taz blame Immortal.  They show Pope getting beaten by Fortune last week.  It appears I was mistaken.  Styles challenges Pope to fight him on the stage, so they fight on the stage and down to ringside.  Pope catapults Styles into the post.  Pope chokes Styles with his fist tape.  They make it into the ring.  Styles kicks Pope in the balls.  Styles beats up Pope.  Pope fights back.  Styles rakes his eyes.  Pope throws a punch and Styles flinches.  Pope nails him with another punch for 2.  Styles sends Pope outside.  Pope avoids a dive and hits a clothesline.  Pope takes Styles back into the ring.  Abyss appears and attacks Pope.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam.  Styles slaps Abyss on the ass, then pins Pope in 5:56.  Retarded shit.  Bischoff and Fortune come out.  Bischoff asks mad, then gives a thumbs up.  I reiterate: retarded shit.

Earlier tonight, Sarita cut a promo in what looks like a classroom.

The Pope bumps into Samoa Joe backstage.  They have words.  Pope wants them to fight together.  Joe isn’t going to fall into that trap again.  At least until next week or so.

Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair are in the office.  Bischoff was on the phone with Hogan.  He hangs up, then they watch TV.

Tenay and Taz talk.

Team 3D video.  I fast forward.

The Motor City Machine Guns throw a football around while Velvet Sky stands around.  Generation Me show up and take their football.  The Guns deck them.  Sabin doesn’t answer the annoying guy who asks if they’ll accept 3D’s challenge.

Jeff Jarrett bitches about Kurt Angle.  Joe cuts a cool promo on Jarrett.

Jeff Jarrett is headed our way!  He says he’ll apologize to Kurt Angle NEXT!  Commercials.

Jeff Jarrett comes out to the ring.  Crowd chants “YOU SOLD OUT!”  He apologizes to Kurt Angle… for not beating him up more!  SWERVE~!  He goes on this his promo until Samoa Joe comes out.  Gunner and Murphy jump Joe in the aisle.  They handcuff him so Jarrett can beat the shit out of him like they did to Angle last week.  Joe locks Jarrett in the choke despite being handcuffed.  Gunner and Murphy break it.  Jarrett throws Joe off the ramp.  Tenay yells at Jarrett.  I hope this leads to Jarrett replacing the announcers.  Jarrett looks down at Joe, who fell 8 or so feet.  Commercials.

House shows!

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Beer Money vs. Rob Van Dam & Sabu.  RVD and Storm lock up.  Storm grabs a side headlock.  They counter each others’ hip toss attempts.  RVD knees Storm in the face.  Sabu tags in.  They hit the Whisper In The Wind on Storm.  RVD drops Storm with a kick.  Sabu covers for 2.  Roode tags in and brawls with Sabu.  Sabu hits the shittiest clotheslines this side of Jeff Hardy while Tenay and Taz bicker.  Beer Money get the heat on Sabu.  Sabu comes back and hits Storm with a springboard tornado DDT.  RVD and Roode tag in.  RVD wins wild.  He backdrops Sabu into a moonsault on Roode, then hits another standing moonsault for 2.  They hit a Rolling Thunder/splash combo.  Storm saves.  Sabu takes him outside.  Roode hits the spinebuster on RVD for 2.  Beer Money go for the DWI, but RVD escapes.  Storm accidentally spits beer at Roode.  RVD schoolboys him for 2.  Sabu brings in a chair and accidentally hits RVD with it.  Roode pins RVD in 5:25.  Okayish I guess.  Neither RVD or Sabu looked good here.  RVD is pissed.  Sabu tries to explain himself.  They tease fighting and lock up.  EV2.0 come out to break it up.

Earlier today, Mickie James cut a promo atop a mechanical bull.  Commercials.

Random note: Kurt Angle is featured in the Turning Point commercial despite being “gone from TNA forever.”

Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair gives Kazarian a pep talk.

Sarita vs. Mickie James.  Mickie’s new ring gear is daisy dukes, a cut off flannel shirt, and cowboy boots.  She’s still hot.  They wrestle a bit.  Mickie lands a dropkick for 2.  Sarita avoids a reverse cradle and throws Mickie down, then dances.  Mickie avoids a diving cross body and dropkicks Sarita out of the ring.  Mickie hits a baseball slide headscissors.  Sarita sends her into the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sarita beats up Mickie.  Sarita does a wacky backbreaker.  Mickie turns it into a cradle for 2.  Mickie makes her comeback with sloppy strikes.  Mickie hits a rana and a diving Thesz press.  Mickie hits the spin kick for the pin in 4:19.  Meh.  Tara appears and jumps Mickie from behind.  Tara gives Mickie the Widow’s Peak.

Ken Anderson cuts a promo backstage.  Commercials.

Mickie James is annoyed by a camera man as she walks to the office, which is apparently outside the building.

Fortune jump Mr. Anderson backstage and drag him into the arena.  Well, sound stage.  They beat him up and leave.  Kazarian comes out for the match.

Ultimate X Match: Kazarian vs. Ken Anderson.  Kazarian orders the referee to ring the bell.  He goes for the X as Anderson crawls down the ramp.  Anderson makes it to the ring just in time to pull Kazarian down.  Anderson beats up Kazarian with one arm.  Kazarian takes Anderson outside.  Commercials.  Kazarian goes for the X.  Anderson swings him back and forth until he falls down.  Anderson tries to climb one arm, fails, beats up Kazarian, then gets beaten up himself.  Kazarian hits a hammerlock slam and a leg drop.  Anderson hits a jawbreaker and tries to fight back, but Kazarian pulls his head across the top rope.  Kazarian goes for the X.  Anderson pulls him down and hits the Mic Check.  Anderson brings in a ladder, which has always been illegal in Ultimate X.  Fortune come out to stop him from getting the X.  Morgan hits a sit-out powerbomb.  Morgan lifts Kazarian up on his shoulders so Kazarian can take down the X to win it in 9:43.  Lame.  Anderson attacks Fortune with a lead pipe.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy appears and hits Anderson in the back of the head with a chair.  Hardy sandwiches Anderson’s injured arm with the ladder and hits it with the chair.

Ric Flair and Eric Bischoff leave togethee.  Kurt Angle appears in front of the car with a pipe or something, throws out the driver, then busts the back glass with his pipe.  Gunner and Murphy show up and run him off.  End.

Horrible show.  Look, I understand that mentally retarded people should be given job opportunities, but have Russo work in catering and bring you coffee.  Don’t have him write your TV show.

TNA Bound For Glory 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

I have the feeling this is going to hurt.

PPV open.  TNA presents Bound For Failure Glory!  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers LIVE from Daytona Beach, Florida.  At least they’re out of the iMPACT! Zone.  Tenay and Taz hype tonight’s happenings.

Tag Lines.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  GenMe make it halfway down the ramp before their music starts playing.  We’re off to a great start here.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match:The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Generation Me.  Shelley and Max start.  Shelley works an arm lock.  Max gets him down in the corner and stomps him.  Shelley fires some chops.  Sabin hits an arm drag and a leg sweep.  Guns pinball Max back and forth.  Shelley hits a kick for 2.  There are audio/video problems.  Guns double team Max a bit.  Shelley gets a Gedo Clutch for 2.  Jeremy trips Shelley from the outside.  Max drops Shelley with a kick, then Jeremy tags in.  Shelley goes for a superkick.  Jeremy bails.  Sabin kicks him in the head from the apron.  Guns double team Max again.  Guns hit stereo tope suicidas on the Bucks.  Back inside, Shelley hits Jeremy with a diving cross body for 2.  Jeremy counters the Shiranui.  Shelley pulls Jeremy’s head across the top rope, then goes up top.  Max crotches him.  Bucks hit the DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER on Shelley behind the referee’s back.  Is that illegal now?  Jeremy and Shelley trade slaps.  Jeremy hits an enzuigiri.  Sabin saves.  Bucks double team Shelley.  Max covers for 2.  The Bucks hit a wacky double team neckbreaker/backbreaker.  Jeremy applies a rear chin lock.  Jeremy goes for a superplex, but Shelley knocks him down.  Max grabs Shelley’s leg, but Shelley knocks him to the floor.  Shelley hits Jeremy with a Ghetto Stomp and makes the hot tag to Sabin.  Sabin runs wild.  Sabin ties Max to the tree of woe.  Shelley hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Sabin follows with the hesitation dropkick.  Shelley takes out Jeremy somehow.  Sabin hits Max with a diving lariat for 2.  Max goes to tag out, but Jeremy is down.  Sabin slaps Max.  Guns hit a double team drop move, but Jeremy saves.  Sabin springboards off of Shelley’s back and dropkicks Jeremy to the floor.  Shelley goes for a dive, but Jeremy avoids it and hits Sabin with the slingshot face buster.  Max hits Sabin with an inverted powerbomb for 2.  Bucks go for the DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER, but Shelley prevents it.  Guns go for the Made In Detroit on Max, but Jeremy knocks Shelley to the floor.  Max hits Sabin with a sick tornado DDT.  Jeremy takes out Shelley with a dive.  Jeremy hits Sabin with a 450 splash.  Max covers, but Shelley saves.  Shelley hits the Bucks with a Complete Shot/DDT combo.  Shelley tags in and goes for a Ghetto Stomp, but Max avoids it.  Bucks double team Shelley.  Sabin hits a 360 lariat on Jeremy.  Stuff happens.  Bucks hit a double splash on Shelley for 2.  Bucks go for the More Bang For Your Buck, but Shelley hits Max with a SPIDER GERMAN SUPLEX.  Guns hit the Skull & Bones on Jeremy.  Shelley pins Jeremy in 12:53.  Awesome match.  It’s very likely that this was as good as this is going to get.

Christy Hemme interviews Madison Rayne and Tara.  Rayne insults Christy Hemme a lot.  She’s in full bitchy slut mode tonight.  She says she owns Tara for life.  Tara doesn’t seem to like that.  She also tells Mickie James that she’s the Queen Bee.  That’s what she said.

Knockouts title clusterfuck hype video.

Four-Way Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Angelina Love (c) vs. Tara vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky.  Mickie James is the Special Guest Referee.  Yeah, the show is definitely going to go downhill now.  It’s tag in and out rules, so Rayne insists that the Beautiful People start against each other.  They high five and lock up.  Love do a bunch of pin attempts, then a double knockdown.  Rayne tags herself in and goes after Love.  James forces Rayne to break a foot choke in the corner.  Rayne yells at her.  Love hits a World’s Strongest Slam.  Tara pulls her off the cover.  Love hits a flapjack.  Rayne tags in Tara.  Tara does a hair reverse Gory Special thing on Love.  Velvet tags in and hits a tilt a whirl headscissors on Tara for 2.  Velvetl applies an Octopus stretch, then transitions into a sunset flip.  Tara rolls through and falls on her for 2.  I think that’s what happened anyway.  Velvet hits a suplex while Rayne screams.  Velvet hits some shitty strikes on Tara, then a bulldog headlock for 2.  Rayne knees Velvet from the apron.  Love knocks her off the apron.  More shit happens.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Tara hits a tilt a whirl slam on Love.  Rayne hits a face crusher on Velvet.  Everybody hits their finishers.  Poorly.  Tara goes for the Widow’s Peak on Sky.  Sky counters.  They knock Rayne off the apron.  Velvet gets a reverse cradle.  Tara half ass reverses it into a reverse cradle so shitty it doesn’t even deserve to be called a cradle for the pin in 5:53.  Tara wins the title.  Fucking awful match.  Rayne bitches at Tara for winning, then shoves Mickie.  Mickie KTFO’s Rayne with a punch.

Christy Hemme interviews Eric Young.  He has drawings all over him.  He thinks he’s a father figure to Orlando Jordan.  He also things Jordan’s family disowned him because he’s bipolar.  Jordan shows up wearing a wedding dress.  With a wedding dress mask.  I fucking hate this company.

Ink Inc. vs. Eric Young & Orlando Jordan.  They show clips from the retarded iMPACT! match.  Young has a “TNA rule book.”  Young puts the referee on the apron and tries to referee the match.  He counts a 2 count or Neal over Jordan.  This stupidity distracts Neal to let Jordan cheap shot him.  Neal hits a cross body on Jordan for 2.  Moore tags in and hits Jordan with a dropkick for 2.  Young tags in.  Moore gets some pinning predicaments for 2.  Young high fives everyone, then throws Jordan in the ring.  Ink Inc. double team Jordan.  Young tries to splash Jordan in the corner, but Jordan avoids it.  Moore crotches Young on the top rope.  Neal does the same to Jordan.  Ink Inc. shakes the ropes.  Shit happens.  Jordan grinds Moore in the corner, then hits a spinebuster.  Jordan covers homosexually for 2.  Young points at his rule book.  Jordan suplexes Moore for 2.  Moore goes for a sunset flip.  Jordan grabs the ropes.  Young kicks his hands away.  Double clothesline spot.  Jordan knocks Neal off the apron.  Young goes over to the Ink Inc. corner.  Moore drops Jordan with an enzugiri.  Young gets a tag from Moore and runs wild.  On his partner.  Ink Inc. hit Jordan with their fireman carry/blockbuster finish.  Moore pins Jordan in 6:37.  Young celebrates with Ink Inc., then hugs Jordan.  I don’t even know what to say about this retarded shit.

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Hardy.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Douglas Williams.  They lock up and wrestle.  That’s never a bad way to start a match.  Unless it’s a hate filled grudge match.  This isn’t, so we’re good to go.  Williams kicks the middle rope into Lethal’s leg.  Instead of working the leg, they half a fast paced exchange.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  Williams rolls to the floor.  Lethal hits a dive.  Back inside, Lethal misses a springboard dropkick.  Williams hits a knee drop for 2.  Williams hits a 360 lariat for 2.  Lethal comes back and hits a back body drop.  Lethal hits some clotheslines and a dropkick.  Lethal hits a Lionsault body block for 2.  Williams hits a German suplex for 2.  Williams hits a running knee to the corner and a snap suplex for 2.  Williams hits an Exploder for 2.  Williams hits an awesome Chaos Theory for 2.  An awesome version of his finish.  For 2.  Williams hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner.  Lethal rolls through it and gets the pin in 8:15.  I did not care for this match at all.  It’s great if you like guys just doing moves, but it had no psychology at all, and I expect better from these guys.  Lethal goes into the crowd to celebrate.  Robbie E. and Cookie show up to jump him in the crowd.  Robbie throws Lethal back in the ring and hits an Ace Crusher.  Zack Ryder’s cousin says Lethal is a disgrace to New Jersey.  New Jersey is a disgrace to itself.  He promises to win the belt and deface it.  Cookie says her stupid “Jersey’s in the house, BITCHES!” catchphrase.  They have a seizure to their awful music.  I hate wrestling.

RVD/Abyss hype video.

Monster’s Ball Match: Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam.  Abyss cuts a promo before the match.  RVD immediately goes on the attack because he knows that’s the proper way to start a hate filled grudge match.  RVD hits an awesome slingshot leg drop.  It’s weird how I hate Hogan but I pop when anybody else does a leg drop.  RVD dropkicks a chair into Abyss’ face, then goes up top.  Abyss bails.  RVD hits him with a diving cross body to the floor.  RVD throws a barbed wire board into the ring.  Abyss comes back in and drops RVD with an elbow smash.  RVD hits a bulldog onto the barbed wire board.  RVD goes for the Rolling Thunder, but Abyss rolls off and RVD’s back eats the barbed wire.  RVD rolls to the floor.  Abyss makes a table bridge between the apron and the guardrail.  Abyss hits RVD with a trash can.  He makes another bridge on the other side of the ring with the other barbed wire board that is conveniently present.  They fight on the apron next to the table bridge.  RVD lays Abyss on it and hits a Rolling Thunder over the top rope through the table.  Back inside, RVD hits the Van Daminator.  RVD goes up top, but Abyss throws a chair at his head.  RVD falls off the top rope through the barbed wire board bridge.  Abyss tries to harpoon RVD into the other barbed wire board.  RVD slips out and throws Abyss into it.  RVD hits the Van Terminator with the barbed wire board.  RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Abyss avoids it.  Abyss brings in Janice.  RVD ducks the shot and throws a chair at him.  RVD HITS ABYSS WITH JANICE.  I always knew Abyss would be the idiot to get hit with that thing.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 12:59.  Okay for mindless garbage match.  Abyss says “10/10/10.  Get ready.” into the camera.  Ugh.

Nash/Sting/Jarrett/Joe etc. hype video.  Ugh.

Handicap Match: Sting, Kevin Nash, & “The Pope” D’Angelo DInero vs. Jeff Jarrett & Samoa Joe.  Joe and Pope start by trading arm locks.  Pope lands a shoulder block, then postures.  Joe gets up and kicks his ass.  Pope fights back.  Joe hits a leg lariat.  Sting tags in and attacks Jarrett on the apron.  Joe kicks Sting’s ass.  Sting his a Stinger Splash and lunges at Jarrett again.  Jarrett avoids it.  Sting goes for another Stinger Splash, but Joe catches him with an STO.  Sting bails.  Joe beats him up on the outside.  Nash hits Joe from behind to let Sting get the advantage.  Back inside, Nash tags in and beats up Joe plodding, big man style.  Pope tags in to continue the work.  Pope hits a springboard elbow drop stupid thing for 2 after fucking up the first springboard or something.  Sting tags in.  Joe hits Sting and Pope with a double clothesline.  Nash cuts Joe off from making the tag.  Joe rocks Nash with a big kick.  Jarrett reaches out for the hot tag, then drops off the apron and abandons Joe.  That bastard!  That traitor!  That Quisling!  That Benedict Arnold!  Nash says “I told you!”  Joe goes on the attack, but is overcome by the 3 on 1 situation.  Nash hits the Jackknife powerbomb for the pin in 7:41.  I’m shocked that Nash can powerbomb anyone, let alone Joe.  The match was mediocre, meaning it was better than at least half of the matches on this show so far.

Christy Hemme interviews Ken Anderson, who apologizes in advance for ending Kurt Angle’s career tonight because Angle hit him in the nuts.  “That shit hurt!” he says.

Team 3D come out.  Boo.  Bubba babbles for a while.  Boo.  Then he announces their retirement.  YAY!  They want to wrestle the Guns for the Tag titles so they can retire as champions.  Boo!  Bubba tells Devon to get the tables.  Devon says his catchphrase.  They leave.

Tenay and Taz argue about whether or not the Guns should wrestle 3D.

Fortune/EV2.0 hype video.

Christy Hemme interviews Fortune.

Lethal Lockdown Match: EV2.0 (Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Sabu, Raven, & Stevie Richards) (w/ Mick Foley) vs. Fortune (TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, & Matt Morgan) (w/ Ric Flair).  Foley and Flair brawl before the match even starts.  They’re doing the old school deal where everyone is at ringside for WarGames.  Stevie and Kazarian start the match.  They lock up, then brawl.  I never thought I’d see the day when my boy Stevie was in a featured PPV match.  Stevie hits some neckbreakers.  All of Fortune have blue trunks.  That’s kind of neat.  Kazarian goes for a diving leg drop, but Stevie avoids it and fights back.  Stevie drops Kazarian, then does a Flair strut.  Stevie hits a Complete Shot into a Koji Clutch.  Fucking awesome.  AJ Styles enters for Fortune.  He drops Stevie with a dropkick.  Styles and Kazarian use their man advantage and double team Stevie.  Tommy Dreamer enters for EV2.0 and runs wild.  Dreamer hits a cool pumphandle suplex on Styles.  Dreamer and Stevie double team Kazarian.  Stevie is selling his ankle.  He was put in a figure-four leglock while I wasn’t paying attention.  I apologize.  Stevie superplexes Kazarian as Styles powerbombs Stevie.  Dreamer gets knocked down in the process.  Robert Roode enters for Fortune.  Roode rams Dreamer’s head into the cage.  Dreamer is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Flair punches Dreamer through a camera hole.  Sabu comes in for Fortune and runs wild.  The crowd boos him.  Sabu hits Styles with a tornado DDT, then locks him in the camel clutch.  Dreamer powerslams Roode.  Dreamer locks Styles in the crossface.  Roode breaks it.  James Storm comes in for Fortune.  Beer Money hit a double back body drop on Dreamer.  2 awesome double teams in a row as one of  Beer Money hold up Richards and Styles hits a Long Blower, then Beer Money hit their catapult DDT.  More double teams.  BEER!  MONEY!  Stevie superkicks Kazarian.  Storm superkicks Stevie.  Storm rams Dreamer’s head into the cage again.  Raven enters for EV2.0.  They try to cut him off, but he manages to get  his wild running in.  Raven puts the snot rag in Kazarian’s face.  Taz makes a Moondogs reference that Tenay no sells.  Dreamer has somehow busted Roode open.  Matt Morgan comes in as the final entrant for Fortune.  Morgan powerbombs Sabu into the cage.  Sabu is bleeding too.  Morgan hits the revolving elbows on Dreamer, then drops Stevie with a boot.  Rhino comes in at the last entrant for EV2.0 and runs wild.  Rhino Gores Storm.  They lower the ceiling of weapons.  THE MATCH BEYOND BEGINS!  Foley and Flair start brawling at ringside again.  EV2.0 grab some weapons and go to work.  Raven and Morgan trade shots with trash can lids and Singapore canes.  Stevie avoids the Carbon Footprint and Morgan injures his leg on the cage door.  Stevie throws Kazarian into the door and the door opens.  Rhino starts to go out, but Stevie says he’s got this.  Kazarian and Stevie climb to the roof of the cage.  Kazarian sets up a ladder.  He tries to throw Stevie off  of the roof.  Sabu hits dive through the door onto Morgan and Storm.  Stevie sets up a table.  Kazarian hits Stevie in the balls and lays him out on the table.  Kazarian climbs the ladder.  Brian Kendrick comes out from under a sheet and knocks the ladder over.  Kendrick backdrops Kazarian through the table, then meditates or something.  Only Styles and Dreamer are still in the cage.  Styles goes up top.  Dreamer hits him with a chair, then hits the Spiccoli Driver off the top for the pin in 24:45.  I enjoyed this.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.  He dedicates the match tonight to Hulk.

Tale of the Tape.

Hardy/Angle/Anderson hype video.

Tale of the Tape.  Again.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final, Three-Way Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Anderson vs. Kurt Angle.  Angle and Hardy both attack Anderson.  Angle gets sent outside, so Hardy beats up Anderson by himself.  Anderson hits a swinging neckbreaker, but Angle saves.  Angle beats up Anderson.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex, but Hardy saves.  Angle German suplexes Hardy and Anderson at the same time.  Pimp.  Cover on Anderson gets 2.  Angle throws him out of the ring and covers Hardy for 2.  Hardy backdrops Angle out of the ring.  Anderson comes back and beats up Hardy.  Angle trips Anderson and pulls him out of the ring.  They brawl at ringside.  Hardy hits them with a dive.  Angle beats up Hardy in the ring.  A suplex gets 2.  Hardy hits some shitty clotheslines.  Anderson comes back in and eats more shitty Hardy clotheslines.  Hardy goes up top, but Angle brings him down with a belly to belly off the top.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap on Angle.  Hardy hits Anderson with flippy kick thing, then beats up Angle in the corner.  Hardy goes for the Swanton Bomb, but Anderson moves.  Angle shoots out of the corner and covers Hardy for 2.  Dixie Carter is watching in the crowd.  Joy.  Angle superplexes Hardy as Anderson powerbombs Angle.  Because we totally didn’t just see that spot in the previous match.  Anderson covers Angle for 2, then Hardy for 2.  Anderson hits the rolling Germans on Anderson, then Hardy.  Angle locks Hardy in the ankle lock.  Anderson tries to save.  Angle locks them both in the ankle lock.  They manage to flip Angle over.  Angle goes up top.  Anderson cuts him off and hits the Lambeau Leap off the top.  Anderson covers, but Hardy hits them both with a Swanton Bomb.  Hardy covers both for 2.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate on Angle.  Angle pushes him into Anderson to knock him off the apron, then hits the Angle Slam on Hardy for 2.  Angle gives Anderson a backdrop suplex off the top rope.  Hardy tries to steal the pin, but only gets 2.  Hardy hits Angle with the Whisper In The Wind, then hits Anderson with the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb for 2.  Angle pulls Hardy off the cover and locks him in the ankle lock.  Hardy flips Angle forward right into Anderson’s Mic Check.  Anderson covers for 2.  They do a three-way cradle counter sequence.  Hardy and Anderson to a double clothesline spot.  Angle hits a GORGEOUS moonsault press on Hardy for 2.  Anderson and Angle counter each others’ moves.  Angle accidentally clotheslines the referee to death, then hits Anderson with a German.  He tries to roll them, but Anderson counters and hits the Mic Check.  Eric Bischoff comes out with a chair.  He looks poised to fuck Angle over.  Hulk Hogan comes out on crutches.  Bischoff throws the chair away.  Hogan bitches at him.  Bischoff takes one of Hogan’s crutches.  Hardy comes back in.  Angle gets up.  Hogan hands his crutch to Hardy.  Hardy breaks the crutch over Angle’s back.  THEY’RE IN CAHOOTS!  Hardy breaks the other crutch over Anderson’s back, then hits the Twist of Fate.  Bischoff drags the referee back into the ring and kicks him until he counts the pin for Hardy in 18:39.  Really good match, even with the fuck finish.  At least the crutch shots weren’t light.  Jeff Jarrett and Abyss come out to celebrate with Hardy, Hogan, and Bischoff.  I CALLED IT!  HOGAN AND BISCHOFF ARE THEM!  Rob Van Dam comes out and asks Hardy “WTF, man?”  Hardy nails RVD with the belt.

When I read the results of the show last night, I was so pissed off when I found out about this angle.  Now that I’ve seen it, I’m not going to lie… I really liked it.  I’m still not optimistic about where they’ll take the story from here, but I liked the angle.  As for the show as a whole, I’ll give it a thumbs in the middle.  There were 3 or 4 matches I enjoyed, but there was a lot crap on the show too.  Still, I really liked the main event and the closing angle.

TNA iMPACT! 10/7/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

Abyss has kidnapped Dixie Carter.  He yells about wanting her to cry and being there when her children were born.  The fuck?  Nobody helps her, despite there being tons of people backstage where they’re walking.  That’s crack TNA security for you.  Abyss pulls her into the arena and yells at or near her.  He rambles about “they.”  NOBODY IS LIFTING A MOTHERFUCKING FINGER TO SAVE THE PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY FROM A LUNATIC WITH A NAIL BOARD AND A BRANDING IRON.  Eric Bischoff finally finishes getting blown by Brooke Adams backstage and comes out.  Bischoff, Gunner, Murphy, Terry Taylor, Pat Kenney, Al Snow, and D’Lo Brown finally show up after their boss has been in danger for 5 minutes.  Bischoff convinces Abyss to unlock Dixie from the handcuffs.  Bischoff yells “CUT!”  Bischoff gets in the ring as Sting, Kevin Nash, and “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero come out.  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff, The Pope, Sting, and Kevin Nash are all in the ring.  Bischoff and Pope discuss amongst themselves this retarded, convoluted storyline that nobody understands.  Sting wants Hogan in the ring.  So he can expose him.  Or something.  Samoa Joe and Jeff Jarrett come out.  Bischoff tells them to stand down.  He talks about Hogan being crippled.  They show video of Hulk Hogan in the hospital, because he is in fact old and crippled.  I hate this fucking company.  LIVE TV AND THEY’RE FUCKING SHOWING FUCKING VIDEO OF THAT PIECE OF SHIT IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL.  Bischoff challenges them to kick his ass.  DO IT!  He books Sting, Nash, & Pope against Jarrett & Joe in a Handicap Match at Bound For Glory.  That’s stupid.

Mickie James shows up.  I’m so pissed at that stupid segment that I don’t even care.

Tonight, a battle royal.

A match for a name and some music is next.  Commercials.

Angle/Hardy/Anderson hype video.

Team 3D (FUCK!  I thought they were gone) are in New York City.  They promise a big announcement at Bound For Glory.  Hopefully it’s that they’re retiring.

For the Rights to the Beautiful People Name: Madison Rayne & Tara vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love & Velvet Sky.  Rayne and Tara jump Love and Sky.  Nobody bothers to ring a fucking bell because they hate wrestling and me.  They get the heat on Angelina.  Velvet tags in and runs wild.  Rayne knees Velvet from the apron, so they get heat on her too.  Miss Tessmacher comes out to take notes.  These are NOT the women you want to learn about wrestling from, Brooke.  Love tags in and runs wild.  Velvet and Love hit stereo leg kicks on Tara.  Love pins Tara in about 3 minutes.  Fucking garbage.  Tessmacher says there’s a special guest referee for their 4-way title match at Bound For Glory.  It’s Mickie James.  Mickie cuts a shitty promo about how she’ll beat whoever wins at BFG for the title.

Mick Foley was in Boston plugging his book and cutting a promo on Ric Flair.

Still to come, a battle royal.

Next, Flair vs. Foley.  Commercials.

Dixie Carter tells Eric Bischoff to fire Abyss.  She says he should have done it a long time ago.  That’s what she gets for expecting Bischoff to be competent or good at his job.  She wants him to fire Abyss in the ring and humiliate him.  That’s stupid.  Also, I’m pretty sure Bischoff and Hogan are “them.”

Last Man Standing Match: Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley.  They lock up.  In a gimmick grudge match.  Flair lands chops and punches.  Foley bleeds from a cut above his eye.  They brawl outside.  Foley hits Flair in the balls, throws him in the ring, and retrieves his barbed wire bat that was hidden under the steps.  Foley hits Flair with the bat and punches him.  Flair is bleeding.  Foley chases Flair to the broadcast table.  They end up on the stage.  Foley drives the barbed wire into Flair’s head.  Flair throws Foley off the stage through a table.  “HOLY SHIT!” chants are bleeped.  I thought Spike TV was television for men, not old ladies.  Commercials.  Flair beats  up Foley, having beaten him with his new book during the break.  Flair brings in thumbtacks.  Foley fights back.  Foley back body drops Flair onto the tacks.  Foley brings in a barbed wire board.  Foley pounds Flair down in the corner, then runs the barbed wire board into him.  They trade chops and punches.  Foley brings in a table.  The mutants chant “FIRE!”  Flair hits Foley in the balls, then puts him on the table and hits him with the barbed wire board.  Flair comes off the top rope and splashes Foley through the table.  They both try to get up.  Flair does the Flair flop into the tacks.  Foley wins in 13:25.  Flair and Foley had a great match.  This was NOT that match.  This was two old men having a TNA garbage match for the sake of having a TNA garbage match, and I expect better from both of them.  I hate this company.  Foley wants Flair to kiss his ass like he promised to last week.  Mutants chant “KISS HIS ASS!”  Fortune come in through the crowd and jump Foley.  EV2.0 come out and run them off.  Flair says Fortune will kick their asses Sunday.

Tenay and Tazz show off the blood on their table.

Eric Bischoff walks backstage.

Eric Bischoff walks to the ring.  They show the retarded bullshit from the beginning of the show again because they’re so proud of it.  He calls out Abyss.  Commercials.  Who is the retard who structures these fucking shows?

Eric Bischoff is still waiting on Abyss.  The wreckage from the Flair/Foley match is still in the ring because everybody is too busy being worthless to clean shit up.  Rob Van Dam comes out.  He’s “1010% sure” about what he’s saying.  He says Abyss stays through Bound For Glory or he quits.

Tommy Dreamer and Rhino were in Philadelphia at some point in the past.

A battle royal is going to happen later.  Commercials are going to happen right now.

House shows.

Orlando Jordan and Eric Young are shown at a fair or something.  There are homosexual overtones.  Why the fuck is Orlando Jordan back on my TV?

Ink Inc. vs. Eric Young & Orlando Jordan.  The gimmick is that since Young fell on his head a while back he’s retarded now.  He is dressed like Ink Inc. with kiddie drawings on his back and doesn’t know whose team he is on.  Neal beats up Jordan.  Good for him.  Jordan beats up Neal, then humps his face.  Moore tags in and runs wild.  Moore hits a moonsault body block on Jordan for 2.  Young comes in and high fives him.  Young helps Moore double team Jordan, then points it out to the ref when Jordan goes for a pin with his foot on the ropes.  Jordan hits Moore in the balls and gets the pin in 3:47.  Fucking garbage.  Young abuses the referee, says he’s the leader of the tag team, and forfeits the match they just won.  They talk about a rematch at the PPV.  I fucking hope not.

We tour Jay Lethal’s family home.

Jeff Hardy, Ken Anderson, and Kurt Angle are all in the battle royal, which is next.  Commercials.

Dixie Carter tells Rob Van Dam that Abyss as fired after Bound For Glory regardless of the result of their match.  Bischoff gives her the termination papers to sign.  She doesn’t read them.  Abyss will be saved when it is revealed that Hogan and Bischoff are “they.”  Dixie tells RVD to take out Abyss.

Robbie E. and Cookie come out.  They’re the Jersey Shore gimmick.  Cookie is Becky Bayless, and she’s super hot, so at least there’s that.  Robbie shoes off his abs.  Becky should show off her tits.  They cut a stupid, obnoxious promo.  I’m pretty sure Robbie E. is Zack Ryder’s twin brother.  Even the Impact Zone mutants hate this shit.  Retarded bullshit.

Bound For Glory hype video with various guys cutting promos.

$100,000 Gauntlet Battle Royal: #1 is Ken Anderson.  #2 is Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  Angle lands a shoulder block.  #3 is Jeff Hardy.  They’re doing entrants every 45 seconds.  They could have spaced it out more, but that Jersey Shore gimmick is so fucking important.  As soon as Hardy gets in the ring, #4 is TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles.  Commercials.  Doug Williams, Sabu, Max Buck, and TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin entered during the break.  #9 is Tommy Dreamer.  #10 is TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal.  Everybody brawls.  #11 is Jeff Jarrett.  WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF HAVING A GAUNTLET MATCH IF YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE GUYS COME OUT EVERY 45 FUCKING SECONDS?  #12 is “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  #13 is Robert Roode.  Nobody gets eliminated.  #14 is Sting.  Still, nobody gets eliminated.  Commercials.  Jeremy Buck, Raven, and Stevie Richards entered during the break.  Abyss enters and eliminates Williams, Sabu, Lethal, Richards, Sabu, and Raven in short order.  Everybody jumps Abyss.  Abyss dumps Sting.  Kevin Nash enters next.  Nash beats on Abyss.  Nash didn’t even put on wrestling gear.  Matt Morgan enters next and drops Abyss with a clothesline.  Nash and Morgan have a big guy fight.  Samoa Joe is next.  Abyss eliminates Morgan and Nash.  James Storm enters.  Dreamer almost eliminates Abyss.  Angle and Generation Me try to finish Abyss.  Abyss eliminates Generation Me.  TNA World Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley is next.  Joe almost eliminates Hardy, who Taz calls Jarrett.  Kazarian gets eliminated.  I didn’t even know he had entered.  Rhino enters and goes after Abyss.  Styles and Dreamer try to eliminate each other.  Abyss eliminates Rhino.  Jarrett goes for the Stroke on Pope, but Abyss eliminates him.  Abyss eliminates Pope.  The show ends.  I’m going to finish the match on Reaction since I already taped it.  I hate myself for breaking my rule.  Abyss eliminates Shelley as Shelley goes for the Shiranui.  Abyss eliminates Joe.  Beer Money double suplex Dreamer, then Abyss.  BEER!  MONEY!  Roode tries to eliminate Storm.  Storm skins the cat back in.  Roode shoves Storm, then they hug.  Abyss eliminates Roode, then Storm.  Styles hits the Pele kick on Abyss.  Dreamer hits the Spiccoli Driver on Styles.  Abyss eliminates Dreamer.  Abyss press slams Styles out of the ring.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb on Angle.  Abyss eliminates Hardy.  Anderson fights Abyss.  Abyss chokeslams.  Rob Van Dam comes out as the last participant, despite the fact that it’s been several minutes since an entrant.  I fucking hate this company.  RVD hits Abyss with a cross body that eliminates himself.  Abyss tumbles over the top rope too.  That was just dump luck and RVD is an idiot.  Angle and Anderson go at it.  They counter each others’ secondary move.  Angle eliminates Anderson with an Angle Slam out of the ring to win it in 26:32.  Angle celebrates with the money.

Fucking awful piece of shit show.  I fucking hate this company.  I don’t know why I put myself through this shit every week.

TNA iMPACT! 9/30/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on iMPACT!…” video.

“Eliminating The Monster”

Kurt Angle talks on the phone, allegedly to Hulk Hogan, as he’s loaded onto his hydraulic stage thingy.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Kurt Angle comes out to talk.  He say the Impact Zone misses Hogan.  Those mutants might, but I don’t.  He talks for a while and says he’ll take out Abyss tonight in a Steel Cage.  I won’t even get in to how stupid that is.  Abyss comes out through the crowd.  Angle meets him and they brawl.  They brawl moves backstage.  Abyss hits Angle with a ladder.  Angle hits Abyss with a chair.  They keep brawling.  D’Lo Brown, Pat Kenney, Al Snow, and security geeks break it up.

Abyss attacks Kurt Angle again.  Agents and security break them up again.

Lumberjack Match: Beer Money vs. Tommy Dreamer & Rhino.  AJ Styles, Kazarian, Doug Williams, Ric Flair, and Matt Morgan from Fortune and Sabu, Stevie Richards, Raven, Mick Foley, and Brian Kendrick from EV2.0 are Lumberjacks.  Dreamer and Rhino hit the ring and brawl with Beer Money.  It breaks down into a tag match with Rhino and Roode legal.  Roode bails to avoid the Gore and Sabu throws him back in.  Storm drops Rhino with a kick from the apron.  Beer Money beat up Rhino.  Beer Money hit the double suplex and do the BEER!  MONEY!  pose.  Storm throws Rhino outside to get beaten up by Fortune.  EV2.0 come over and Morgan throws Rhino back into the ring.  Rhino continues to play face in peril.  Rhino hits Roode with a belly to belly suplex and makes the hot tag to Dreamer.  Dreamer runs wild.  Dreamer and Storm counter each others’ moves.  Dreamer locks Storm in a crossface.  Roode saves.  Rhino clotheslines Roode to send them both out of the ring.  All of the lumberjacks brawl.  Styles spits something in Dreamer’s face.  Storm hits Dreamer with a Lung Blower for 2.  Lumberjacks continue to brawl.  Storm tries to use the beer bottle, but Dreamer catches him and hits the Spiccoli Driver for the pin in 5:34.  Sabu hits a dive on everybody.  Typical overbooked TNA shit.  Foley calls for everyone to stop fighting and for Flair to get into the ring.  Will it happen NEXT?

Mick Foley and Ric Flair are in the ring.  They talk back and forth for a while.  Foley challenges Flair to a match next week.  Flair beats up Foley’s new book.  Ric Flair is the only man alive who can do silly bullshit like that and have it work.  They each punch themselves in the face to make themselves bleed.  The talk some more.  Foley wants a Last Man Standing Match.  Flair agrees and says he’ll kiss Foley’s ass if he loses.

Backstage, Ken Anderson bitches at Eric Bischoff because Hulk Hogan didn’t call him.  I hate this show.

Tonight, Angle vs. Abyss.  Next, Generation Me vs. Ink Inc.

The Motor City Machine Guns are walking backstage!

Bound For Glory hype.

Ink Inc. vs. Generation Me.  GenMe come out with the TNA World Tag Team title belt they stole last week.  They show a video of said theft.  Moore and Jeremy start with some nice wrestling.  Moore gets the better of the exchange and hits a stupid leg drop around the legs for 2.  Neal and Max tag in.  Ink Inc. double team Max for 2.  Neal lands a dropkick for 2.  Neal avoids a moonsault body block.  Max feigns a knee injury.  Jeremy attacks Neal from behind.  Max comes back in and puts the boots to Neal.  Bucks work over Neal.  Neal ducks a shot and Max accidentally decks Jeremy.  Moore gets the hot tag and runs wild on Max.  Moore hits a spin kick, but Jeremy saves.  Moore hits the Bucks with a double Frankensteiner!  Moore hits a springboard moonsault body block on Max for 2.  All 4 brawl.  Neal accidentally spears the post.  Max kicks Moore in the balls and schoolboys him for the pin in 4:57.  Good little tag match.  The Bucks attack Ink Inc. again after the match.  They set up Neal for the DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER, but the Motor City Machine Guns come out and run them off.

Samoa Joe talks to no one backstage.

Anderson vs. Joe NEXT!

The Motor City Machine Guns yell at Generation Me, who are not present.

Ken Anderson vs. Samoa Joe.  “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes out to do commentary.  Sting, and Kevin Nash come out to stand behind him.  Joe powers Anderson to the corner and beats him up.  Anderson grabs a side headlock.  Joe gets out of it and kicks his ass some more.  Anderson fights back.  Joe beats him up again.  Joe hits the face wash in the corner to stop me from being bored with this match for the time being.  Cover gets 2.  Anderson makes his comeback and gets 2 off of a dropkick.  Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch.  Anderson escapes via a jawbreaker, then hits the Mic Check for the pin in 4:00.  Pretty boring match.  Nash carries Sting’s bat to ringside and calls for Joe to “join us!”

During the break, security got between Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash.

Kevin Nash, Sting, and The Pope are in the ring.  They talk about how they know what’s going on and how Bischoff and Hogan are dicks.  Sting was a six-man at Bound For Glory with Sting, Nash, & Pope vs. Hogan, Jarrett, & Joe.  Eric Bischoff and Miss Tessmacher come out.  Bischoff babbles for a while and says Hogan will be there next week.  Ugh.

TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles (w/ Ric Flair) yells at Brian Kendrick, who is not present.  He makes Flair chug a Smirnoff.  Again.

Tonight, Angle vs. Abyss in a Cage!

House shows!

They show Amazing Red beating Jay Lethal for the TNA X Division Championship last Thursday in New York City and Lethal regaining the title on Saturday in Rahway, New Jersey.

Miss Tessmacher tells Madison Rayne and Tara to behave or something.  The Beautiful People come in and bitch at them.  Tessmacher apparently has the power to fire them.  Rayne gives Tessmacher a waiver she signed that allows Tara to wrestle in TNA again.  SHE ALREADY WRESTLED A FUCKING MATCH.  YOU FUCKING MORONS.  I HATE THIS FUCKING COMPANY.  They make a 4-way match for the PPV.  I don’t care.  They all argue and leave.  Tessmacher gets a phone call and agrees to go fuck someone in 20 minutes.

TNA World Television Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) (w/ Ric Flair & Matt Morgan) vs. Brian Kendrick.  Flair rants at the commentary table as the match starts.  They lock up.  Kendrick backs Styles into the corner, breaks, and bows.  Styles attacks Kendrick and grounds him with a side headlock.  Styles avoids a dropkick.  Kendrick avoids Styles in the corner and lands his dropkick.  Kendrick reverses a waist lock and gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Styles hits a backdrop suplex.  Morgan chokes Kendrick behind the referee’s back.  Styles covers for 2.  Styles puts the boots to Kendrick.  Kendrick makes his comeback.  Styles cuts him off with an elbow smash.  Kendrick lands a dropkick and a spinning DDT, then goes up top and dives out of the ring onto Morgan.  Styles goes for a dive, but Kendrick catches him with a kick.  Kendrick goes up top again.  Flair distracts the ref and Morgan crotches Kendrick.  Styles hits the Styles Clash for the pin in 4:24.  Fine little TV match.  These two could have a hell of a match if they were given some time.

Abyss talks to Janice about Kurt Angle, then says he wants his match with RVD at Bound For Glory to be a Monster’s Ball Match.

Congrats to Richard G., who won a free trip to Bound For Glory!  The poor bastard.

Earlier today, Rob Van Dam was outside talking to nobody.

Hype for next week’s live iMPACT!: Before The Glory.

Steel Cage Match: Abyss vs. Kurt Angle.  Angle goes on the attack and kicks Abyss’ ass.  Abyss fights back and beats up Angle.  Angle fights back and beats up Abyss.  Isn’t this exciting?  Angle picks up Janice and throws it over the top of the cage.  Insta-commercials.  Abyss mows down Angle with a big boot.  Abyss throws Angle into the cage.  Angle is BUSTED WIDE OPEN.  Abyss works the cut by pounding on Angle’s head and throwing him into the cage again.  Angle slips of off Abyss’ back and takes out his knee.  Angle hammers Abyss with punches, then hits a frog splash for 2.  Abyss goes for a chokeslam, but Angle rolls through and goes for the ankle lock.  Abyss kicks free and chokeslams Angle for 2.  Abyss counters the Angle Slam and hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss goes for a diving splash, but Angle avoids it and hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle starts to leave through the door, then changes his mind and climbs to the top of the cage.  The show ends.  During the main event.  For the 2nd time in 3 weeks.  About 9 minutes shown.

I fucking hate this company.

TNA iMPACT! 9/23/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on iMPACT!…” video.  On Reaction, Eric Bischoff made the Bound For Glory title match a 3-way which pissed Dixie off.

“They say… Only The Strong Will Survive”

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Rob Terry comes out to wrestle Abyss.  Rob Van Dam is backstage being retrained by various people

Rob Terry vs. Abyss.  Abyss jumps Terry and kicks his ass.  Terry drops Abyss with a clothesline.  Abyss kicks Terry in the head.  Terry drops Abyss with his big spin kick.  Terry charges Abyss in the corner, but Abyss stops him with a boot, then lands a clothesline.  Abyss goes for a chokeslam, but Terry breaks out and hits a World’s Strongest Slam.  Terry hits a running powerslam for 2.  Terry goes for the Freak Buster, but Abyss rakes his eyes and hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Abyss hits a chokeslam for 2.  Fuck.  Abyss clotheslines Terry out of the ring.  Split screen time!  Jeff Hardy tries to calm RVD down backstage.  Abyss picks up a piece of the barricade and throws it at Terry for the DQ in 3:59.  This was awful.  Abyss hits him with the barricade again.  And again.  Rob Van Dam comes out through the crowd with a chair.  Gunner and Murphy get in his way.  Abyss picks up Janice.  D’Lo Brown, Pat Kenney, Al Snow, and more security geeks come out and force Abyss to the back.  RVD smacks Murphy or Gunner (whichever one is the short one) in the face with a chair and gets into the ring.  He has his arms and legs taped up and appears to be fine other than a slight limp.  He calls out Eric Bischoff.  Insta-commercials.

Rob Van Dam and Eric Bischoff are in the ring.  RVD bitches at him about stripping  him of the title.  Yeah, why the fuck DID you strip him of the title when he’s BACK BEFORE YOU’VE CROWNED A NEW CHAMPION?  He says he wants the first shot at whoever wins the title at Bound For Glory.  He tells Bischoff he’ll be cleared to wrestle on 10/10/10 and he wants Abyss at Bound For Glory.  Bischoff makes the match.

Live iMPACT! 2 weeks from tonight!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes out.  Bischoff is still in the ring.  He wants to know what the hell is going on.  In regards to what?  He babbles for a while about who he’s beaten lately.  He’s mad because he’s not in the title match at Bound For Glory.  It’s probably because he got pinned clean in the middle of the ring in the semifinal.  Bischoff wants to discuss it backstage, so the leave.

Lacey Von Erich comes into a room looking sad while Angelina Love and Velvet Sky talk.  Lacey is extremely pissed off at Madison Rayne and Tara.

During the break, Bischoff and Pope argued backstage.  Bischoff says Pope will be put into the title match if he beats Samoa Joe tonight.

Jeremy Buck (w/ Max Buck) vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin.  They lock up.  Sabin grabs a side headlock.  Sabin hits the ropes and Max trips him.  The referee sends Max to the back.  Sabin schoolboys Jeremy for 2.  Sabin hits a shoulder block for 2.  His shoulder is taped up after being injured last week.  Sabin cranks on Jeremy’s arm.  Jeremy attacks the shoulder, then hits a slingshot face buster for 2.  Jeremy applies a Dragon sleeper.  Jeremy hits a neckbreaker for 2.  They end up fighting on the apron and Jeremy hits Sabin with a neckbreaker on the apron for 2.  Jeremy applies a full nelson.  Jeremy lands an elbow smash and a head breaker (reverse jawbreaker).  Jeremy goes for a tornado DDT, but Sabin superkicks him, then gets a schoolboy for the pin in 3:42.  Fine little match.  Max immediately runs down and Generation Me beats down Sabin.  They hit him with another DDT OF MURDER, then steal his tag title belt.

Velvet & Lacey challenge Taylor Wilde & Hamada for the Knockouts Tag titles NEXT!

Pope interview from Reaction and Jeff Jarrett’s retort.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: Taylor Wilde & Hamada (c) vs. The Beautiful People of Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich.  Wilde does her best to wrestle with Lacey, who is absolutely incompetent in a wrestling ring.  She shockingly manages a couple of successful arm drags on Wilde and Hamada.  Velvet tags in and works Hamada’s arm.  Hamada nails her with a Yakuza kick.  Hamada slams Velvet and goes for a moonsault, but Velvet avoids it.  Wilde tags in and schoolgirls Velvet for 2, then inside cradles her for 2.  Velvet gets a backslide for 2, then some elbow drops.  Lacey tags back in.  Hamada tags back in.  Wilde and Hamada hit Lacey with a double suplex for 2.  Hamada nails Lacey with an enzuigiri.  Hamada hits a cool Fisherman Exploder for 2.  Wilde tagsin and works over Lacey some more.  Lacey hits Wilde with an awful looking Frankensteiner for 2.  Hamada comes in and saves for no reason.  Shit happens quickly as Velvet and Hamada are both sent out.  Madison Rayne comes in and nails Lacey with the motorcycle helmet.  Wilde hits Lacey with an enzuigir for the pin in 4:19.  The 2 competent wrestlers tried, but it wasn’t very good.  Angelina Love runs out to check glare angrily at the retreating Rayne while Velvet checks on Lacey.

EV2.0 arrives: Tommy Dreamer, Mick Foley, Stevie Richards, Rhino, Sabu, and Raven!

Up next, Pope vs. Joe!

Jesse Neal video package.

Dixie Carter has joined Tenay and Taz for commentary.  Ugh.  She announces a $100,000 Battle Royal for the live iMPACT! in 2 weeks.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe.  Joe jumps Pope and kicks his ass.  Pope fights back and hits a clothesline for 2.  Joe nails Pope with an elbow smash.  Joe rocks Pope with a back kick for 2.  Joe applies a rear chin lock.  Pope fights out, but gets dropped with a clothesline.  Joe applies a rear face lock.  Pope fights out and makes his comeback.  Pope lands a shoulder block for 2.  Taz calls it a flying forearm because he’s retarded.  Joe catches Pope with a powerslam for 2.  Pope hits a hangman’s neckbreaker and goes for the Elijah Express.  Jeff Jarrett comes out to distract Pope/cheer Joe on.  Joe fights back.  Kevin Nash and Sting come out and attack Jarrett.  Pope goes for a move, but Joe locks him in the Coquina Clutch.  The referee stops it and gives the match to Joe in 4:29.  Joe goes to help Jarrett, but gets his ass kicked by Nash.  Jarrett and Joe make a comeback on Sting and Nash.  I’m sick of the long brawls between these guys every week.  The fight continues.

Christy Hemme catches up with EV2.0.  Dreamer says it’s EV2.0 vs. Fortune in Lethal Lockdown at Bound For Glory.  Tonight it’s Sabu vs. AJ Styles with the winner getting the advantage at the PPV.

Ken Anderson is headed our way!

Ken Anderson comes to the ring and calls out Kurt Angle.  Angle comes out.  Anderson puts him over as being the best in the business, but says he’ll be the one winning the title at the PPV.  Angle replies at length.  I’m sure it was something to the effect of “No, I’ll win!”  They shake hands.  Anderson raises Angle’s hand “for the last time,” implying that Angle will lose and have to retire at the PPV.  Pointless segment.

Ric Flair gives Fortune a pep talk backstage, then he chugs a Smirnoff and dances.  Stupid, stupid.

Styles vs. Sabu in a Ladder Match is next.

House shows.

Shore is coming soon.  I’m scared.

Kevin Nash and Sting want information from The Pope.  Apparently Nash and Pope both got some information from Miss Tessmacher, so Pope is on their side now.  I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Fortune vs. EV2.0 video package.

Non-Title Ladder Match: Sabu vs. TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles (w/ Ric Flair & Matt Morgan).  The prize is a key on a paddle.  They fight.  Styles kicks the middle rope into Sabu’s balls, then pounds on him.  Sabu hits a headscissors.  Styles lands a chop.  Sabu lands a clothesline and goes outside to get a ladder.  Styles follows him out and beats him up.  Sabu manages to get the ladder in the ring, but Styles throws it back out.  Styles pulls Sabu’s head into the top rope.  Styles comes back with the ladder, but Sabu lands a baseball slide dropkick into the ladder.  Sabu throws a chair and the ladder into the ring.  Sabu sets up the ladder.  Styles knocks him down with a punch.  Sabu throws the ladder at Styles.  He tries to do it again, but Styles ducks and Sabu throws the ladder out of the ring.  Styles brings the ladder back, avoids Sabu’s baseball slide, and hits him with the ladder.  Mick Foley comes out.  Insta-commercials.  Sabu throws a chair at Styles, then knocks the ladder over.  Sabu uses the ladder as a springboard for the Whisper In The Wind.  Sabu uses the ladder as a springboard again to hit Styles with a cross body that sends them both out of the ring.  Flair goes after Sabu, but Foley stops him.  Morgan jumps Foley from behind.  Tommy Dreamer comes out, but is cut off by Kazarian.  Security breaks them up.  The rest of EV2.0 and Fortune come out and brawl.  Styles climbs the ladder.  Sabu knocks it over, then hits a crappy dive onto the security guards for no reason.  Sabu comes back in and climbs the ladder.  Robert Roode comes in and cuts him off.  Rhino Gores Roode.  James Storm superkicks Rhino.  Sabu nails Storm and sets up the ladder again.  Sabu and Styles climb the ladder.  Sabu rams Styles’ head into the ladder to send him down.  Storm comes back in and nails Sabu with a beer bottle, then helps Styles climb the ladder and get the key for the win (8:44 shown).  Boring ladder match.  Amazingly, the heels actually have the advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam chat backstage.  RVD leaves.  Abyss knocks over the camera man and makes sounds like he’s attacking Hardy.

Eric Bischoff talks.

Moments ago, Abyss made attacking Hardy noises.

Abyss carries an unconscious Jeff Hardy to the ring.  Abyss cuts a promo on RVD.  He says he’ll “finish the job” at Bound For Glory.  He calls out RVD because he wants to hit him with the nail board.  RVD comes out.  Abyss rips Hardy’s shirt off.  RVD throws a chair at Abyss’ head.  Abyss boots the chair into RVD’s face.  Abyss splashes RVD in the corner, then picks up the nail board.  The show ends.

Horrible show.  I hate this fucking company.

TNA No Surrender 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2010 by Grappleholic

Earlier Today: Ken Anderson, “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, Jeff Hardy, and Kurt Angle all arrived at the building.

Opening video chronicling the various disputes and disagreements between the 4 aforementioned guys.

No Surrender!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Generation Me.  Gen Me get the shot because London Brawling couldn’t make the show.  I’m not going to complain about getting to see The Young Bucks instead of Brutus Magnus.  Shelley and Jeremy start with a fine chain wrestling sequence.  Shelley does a sweet wonky cradle for 2.  Max tags in to be the victim of more Shelley awesomeness.  Sabin tags in and has a fast paces exchange with Sabin.  They both throw a dropkick, then get in each others’ face.  Jeremy and Shelley come back in for more goodness.  Jeremy lands an elbow smash and some sweet arm drags.  Bucks make quick tags and double team Shelley.  Jeremy works Shelley’s arm with a series of arm stunners.  Shelley backdrops Jeremy to the apron.  Sabin tags in and the Guns hit a rapid fire double team sequence for 2.  Sabin hits an elbow drop for 2.  Shelley tags in and applies a wonky inverted Boston crab thing.  Max saves.  Sabin tags back in.  Guns try to double team, but Jeremy rallies awesomely and tags in Max.  Max runs wild and plants Sabin with a sweet bulldog for 2.  Max hits Shelley with a baseball slide dropkick, then hits Sabin with a cool jumping DDT for 2.  Bucks go for the More Bang For Your Buck, but Shelley blind tags himself in and hits Max with a missile kick for 2.  Max counters the Shiranui, but Shelley drops him with a kick and goes for a springboard.  Jeremy cuts him off and hits a neckbreaker on the apron.  Max covers for 2.  Bucks make quick tags and work over Shelley.  Max grounds Shelley with a rear chin lock.  Shelley fights out, but gets dropped with a kick.  Jeremy tags in and locks Shelley in a full nelson.  Shelley escapes with an arm drag.  Max nails Shelley from the apron, then tags in.  Bucks fuck up a double team allowing Shelley to make the hot tag to Sabin.  Sabin runs wild on Max.  Sabin hits a springboard jumping DDT, but Jeremy saves.  Sabin throws Jeremy out.  Jeremy comes back in and dropkicks Sabin to the apron.  Shelley clotheslines Jeremy out of the ring, then wipes him out with a dive.  Sabin and Max trade shots.  Max counters a tornado DDT.  Jeremy hits a weird Diamond Dust/Asai DDT thing.  Max covers, but Shelley saves.  Bucks double team Shelley.  Bucks miss the More Bang For Your Buck.  Lots of superkicks happen.  Guns hit the neckbreaker/cross body combo (called the Skull & Bones) on Jeremy and Sabin gets the pin in 12:51.  Awesome match!  Great way to open the PPV.  Generation Me decide to be dicks and jump the Guns after the match.  They were subtle heels throughout the match, and I guess they’re making the heel turn official.  The hit Shelley with a double DDT OF MURDER from the apron to the floor!  The Bucks laugh as Sabin and EMTs check on Shelley.  Shelley has to be helped to the back.

Tenay and Taz talk about the World Title tournament semifinals.

X Factors.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Douglas Williams (c) vs. Sabu.  Williams has new music.  Sabu gets a single leg takedown, believe it or not.  They lock up and do some chain wrestling.  Sweet.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Sabu chain wrestle before.  Sabu hits a clothesline and a slingshot leg drop, then applies a camel clutch.  Williams gets a rope break and bails.  Sabu hits him with a baseball slide dropkick and a cannonball dive.  Sabu finds a table under the ring and sets it up.  Williams rams Sabu’s head into it and takes him back inside.  Williams hits a diving European uppercut for 2.  Sabu tries to hit a Frankensteiner off the top rope and totally fucks it up.  Sabu brings in a chair.  Earl Hebner makes him put it down.  Sabu uses the chair to hit an ugly Triple Jump Moonsault for 2.  He tries it again, but Williams trips him and Sabu face plants into the chair.  Williams hits a knee drop for 2.  Williams kicks Sabu in the balls and works him over.  Williams lands another knee drop for 2.  Sabu hits a rebound jumping DDT for 2.  Sabu hits a springboard elbow smash for 2.  Sabu uses the chair as a springboard to kick Williams in the corner.  He tries again, but Williams kicks the chair into his middle.  Williams hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Sabu hits a clothesline and Williams bails.  Sabu tries to use the chair as a springboard again and stupid ass Hebner decides to get in the way.  Sabu hits a dive anyway.  Sabu tries to put Williams through the table, but Williams moves and Sabu crashes through it.  Back inside, Williams picks up the chair.  Hebner takes it away to distract himself, so Williams hits Sabu with the belt for the pin in 11:13.  This was pretty messy.

Christy Hemme interviews Ken Anderson.

Madison Rayne (w/ Tara) vs. Velvet Sky (w/ TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love).  Tara provides the distraction to let Rayne get the jump on Rayne.  Rayne dances to taunt Love, then screams and chokes Sky.  Rayne applies a camel clutch.  Sky kicks her in the crotch to escape, then lands a slap.  Tara gets on the apron.  The referee goes outside to admonish her.  Sky gets a schoolgirl, but the referee is incompetent.  Rayne beats up love some more and does her stupid head humping shit for 2.  Sky makes her comeback with shitty clotheslines, a shitty spear, and that stupid head pushing into the mat shit I hate.  Tara pulls Sky out of the ring and tries to use the motorcycle helmet, but Love kicks her in the back, which incapacitates her.  Sky hits Rayne with a DDT for the pin in 4:43.  This was brutal.

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Hardy.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Rhino vs. Abyss.  Rhino meets Abyss in the aisle and kicks his ass.  He throws Abyss into the ring and throws in some plunder.  Abyss bails and Rhino hits him with a slingshot dive.  They brawl in the crowd and outside the sound stage.  Back through the crowd and back into the ring, Rhino fights back after taking a beating outside.  Abyss whips Rhino into a garbage can that was wedged between the turnbuckles.  The fight over next to the entrance ramp.  Abyss whips Rhino into a barricade for 2.  Rhino throws Abyss through the poorly constructed stage.  They fight under the stage.  Seriously.  The camera man gets knocked down, so Tenay and Taz just talk.  Crowd chants “WE CAN’T SEE!”  Abyss throws Rhino through the other side of the stage for 2.  Abyss beats up Rhino back down to the ring.  Abyss breaks off a section of the guardrail and brings it into the ring.  He sets it up in the corner.  Rhino stops himself from crashing into it and makes his comeback, wailing on Abyss’ head with a cookie sheet.  Rhino hits a belly to belly suplex, then goes for the Gore.  Abyss catches him and chokeslams him on the trashcan for 2.  Abyss brings in Janice.  Rhino hits the Gore for 2.  The crowd chants “THIS IS AWESOME!”  They’re lying.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam for 2.  Abyss seems bothered by the crowd’s support of Rhino.  Abyss goes for a powerbomb into the barricade, but Rhino counters and hits a short lariat.  Rhino goes for the Gore into the barricade, but Abyss moves.  Rhino eats the barricade, then Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin in 12:40.  Lame garbage match.  Abyss yells about “them” coming on 10/10/10.

Jarrett & Joe/Sting & Nash video package.

Sting & Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett & Samoa Joe.  Joe and Sting start, but Sting attacks Jarrett on the apron.  Nash comes in and gets dropped by a running kick from Joe.  Joe runs wild on Sting, then tags in Jarrett.  Jarrett beats up Sting until Nash cheap shots Jarrett from the apron.  Nash tags in and beats up Jarrett.  Jarrett fights back, but is quickly cut off.  Nash hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Sting tags in and beats up Jarrett some more.  Sting hits the Stinger Splash and goes for a Vader Bomb, but Jarrett gets his knees up.  Joe gets the tag, but the referee was fucking around with Nash and didn’t see it.  Sting and Jarrett clothesline each other.  Joe gets the tag and runs wild.  Joe ducks a clothesline from Sting and hits Nash with a tope suicida.  Sting hits a Stun Gun on Jarrett.  Jarrett grabs the bat and clobbers Sting with it while the referee is outside dealing with Nash and Joe.  Joe comes back in and locks Sting in the Coquina Clutch for the referee stop win in 6:12.  Fine little match.  Best thing on the show since the opener.

Dreamer/Styles hype video.

Non-Title “I Quit” Match: TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer.  Styles tries to jump Dreamer in the stage, but Dreamer sees him and kicks his ass down to the ring.  Dreamer goes for the Texas Cloverleaf, but fails.  He does succeed in backdropping Styles to the floor.  Dreamer stretches Styles against the ring post, but Styles refuses to quit.  They trade chops on the floor.  Back in the ring, Dreamer applies a full nelson clutch.  Styles escapes and fishhooks Dreamer.  Dreamer backs Styles into the corner.  Styles charges Dreamer in the opposite corner, but Dreamer moves and Styles spears the post.  Dreamer goes for a submission hold, but Styles bails.  Dreamer hits a clothesline off of the apron.  Styles suplexes Dreamer on the ramp.  Styles goes for the figure-four, but Dreamer hits him with a stage light, then chokes him with the cable attached to it.  Styles exposes a section of the floor and goes for the Styles Clash, but Dreamer counters, sends him into the post, and hits a shoulder breaker.  Back in the ring, Dreamer works Styles’ arm.  Dreamer fucks his arm up with a chair.  Styles escapes via eye poke and tries to stab Dreamer with a fork, but Dreamer cuts him off and locks him in a crossface.  Styles bails.  Dreamer follows and rams his arm against the steps and the barricade.  Styles crotches Dreamer on the barricade.  Styles stretches Dreamer’s leg in the guardrail.  Back inside, Styles goes for the figure-four.  Dreamer counters, but Styles immediately takes out his leg and pulls his crotch into the ring post.  Styles locks in the figure-four around the post!  Back inside, Styles hits a shin breaker onto the chair.  Styles locks in the figure-four leglock.  Dreamer turns it over forcing Styles to release the hold.  Dreamer gets Styles in some kind of hold using the chair.  Dreamer gets the fork and tries to use it, but Styles knocks him out of the ring with the Pele kick.  Styles goes for a dive, but Dreamer whacks him mid-air with a Singapore cane.  Dreamer wails on Styles with the cane and hits a pumphandle suplex with it.  Dreamer applies a crossface with the cane until the cane breaks.  Styles stabs Dreamer in the face with another fork.  Styles pushes the fork into Dreamer’s eye area, forcing Dreamer to quit in 16:28.  Really good match here, which kind of surprised me.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Tale of the Tape for Angle/Hardy.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Semifinal: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle.  Dixie Carter is in the crowd, because she has to be on TV.  Gunner and Murphy watch over her.  Angle and Hardy lock up.  Angle takes Hardy down with a front face lock.  Hardy gets a rope break and grabs a side headlock.  Hardy scores a knockdown with a shoulder block, then grabs his headlock again.  Angle pushes Hardy into the corner to break, then wails on him with punches.  Hardy hits a front suplex and leg drop the balls, followed by a basement dropkick for 2.  Angle knocks Hardy loopy with an elbow smash, then hits the first powerbomb I ever remember seeing him hit.  Angle works a side headlock and a waist lock.  Hardy escapes and makes a comeback.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Hardy hits a modified Twist of Fate and goes up top.  Angle springs him and hits the arm drag from the top rope for 2.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam.  Hardy counters with an arm drag, but fucks it up.  Hardy hits a move for 2.  Hardy goes for the Swanton Bomb, but Angle avoids it.  Angle hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle goes for the ankle lock, then hits the Rolling Germans instead for 2.  Angle goes for a moonsault, but Hardy avoids it.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind for 2.  They go outside and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate on the floor.  Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb from the top rope to the floor!  They both barely beat the count back into the ring.  They trade shots.  Angle counters the Twist of Fate and hits a release German suplex.  Angle hits a frog splash for 2.  Angle goes for another powerbomb, but Hardy backdrops him out of it and hits the Twist of Fate for 2.  Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb for 2.  He hits again, but Angle kicks out again!  Hardy goes for a third Swanton Bomb, but Angle gets his knees up.  Angle hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Hardy rolls through and sends Angle to the floor.  Hardy hits a clothesline off of the apron.  Back inside, Angle locks the ankle lock in again.  Hardy gets a rope break, but Angle pulls him back to the middle of the ring and locks it again again.  Hardy kicks his way free.  Angle hits a clothesline for 2.  Angle locks in the ankle lock again.  After like a minute, he finally grapevines the leg.  The 20 minute time limit expires.  THE FUCK?  What kind of fucking moron puts a 20 minute time limit on a World title tournament semifinal match?  The crowd is totally deflated, then they start chanting “FIVE MORE MINUTES!”  Eric Bischoff comes out and confers with Dixie Carter, then says 5 more minutes!  Angle viciously attacks Hardy’s ankle.  Angle locks in the ankle lock again.  Hardy kicks him to the floor.  Hardy beats up Angle on the outside.  Back inside, Hardy goes up top again.  Angle crotches him on the top rope and hits the Angle Slam off the top.  HARDY FUCKING KICKS OUT.  THIS MATCH WILL NOT END.  Angle charges at Hardy, but gets back body dropped to the floor.  AND NOW THEY HAVE A FUCKING COUNTDOWN CLOCK.  Angle gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Angle covers for 2, then the time limit expires again at 25:04.  FIVE MORE FUCKING MINUTES.  Angle hammers Hardy with tired, weak looking punches.  Angle charges Hardy and spears the post.  Hardy beats up Angle on the outside again.  Angle is BUSTED WIDE OPEN.  Hardy locks in a Boston crab, which I don’t think he’s ever done before.  Just for the visual of Angle bleeding onto the mat, I guess.  Angle counters into the ankle lock as the clock counts down again.  The time limit expires yet again in 30:05.  Bischoff gets in the ring and calls for the trainer to come down and check Angle’s bloody head.  Bischoff declares the match a no-contest instead of a time limit draw, because he’s retarded.  Shannon Moore comes out to check on Hardy.  Angle is pissed off.  So am I.  There was nothing mechanically wrong with this match, what ruined it was all of the TNA bullshit.

Christy Hemme interviews the Pope.

Tale of the Tape for Pope/Anderson.

TNA World Heavyweight Title Tournament – Semifinal: Ken Anderson vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  They lock up aggressively and wrestle around a bit, then get pissed off at each other and start brawling.  Pope hits an armbreaker, which Taz always calls a flying armbar.  Pope hits a hammerlock backdrop suplex, a move that I always pop for.  Pope works Anderson’s arm.  Pope hits a hammerlock slam for 2.  I love any kind of hammerlock slam or suplex.  Anderson fights back with some clotheslines an elbow smash, then drops Pope with a kick for 2.  Anderson returns the favor from earlier by working Pope’s arm and shoulder.  Anderson keeps the heat on Pope for a while.  Double clothesline spot.  Pope makes his comeback.  Pope goes up top, but Anderson cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  They fight over it.  Pope manages to fight Anderson off and crotch him on the top rope.  Anderson falls to the floor.  Pope hits a diving cross body to the floor.  Back inside, Pope covers for 2.  Pope lowers the knee pads goes for the Codebreaker.  Anderson counters and goes for the Mic Check.  Pope counters again.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  Pope hits the Codebreaker for 2.  Pope goes for the Mic Check.  Anderson counters and goes for it, but Pope arm drags him.  Anderson hits the Mic Check for 2.  Pope beats up Anderson in the corner.  Anderson avoids the Elijah Express and hits the Mic Check again for the pin in 17:23.  Pretty decent match, but nothing to write home about.  Anderson makes a paper airplane out of one of Pope’s fake dollar and throws it at him.  Anderson announces himself as the winner and says he’s one match away from being the World Champion.

This show was a mixed bag.  There was some very good, some mediocre, and some very bad.  Guns vs. Gen Me and Styles vs. Dreamer were both actively good.