Archive for Royal Rumble

WWE Royal Rumble 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, cool PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Boston!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Todd Grisham are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Edge can’t use the spear because Vickie is a bitch.  She comes out to remind us of that in her nails on a chalkboard voice.  She then chants “spear” and cackles.  She then introduces Ziggler.  Chimel gives in ring intros.  They lock up.  Edge lands some punches and puts a beating on Ziggler.  Edge hits a gut buster for 2.  Edge connects with a knee lift for 2.  Ziggler rolls to the apron.  Edge slips out, pulls him down face first onto the apron, then throws him into the barricade.  Ziggler catches Edge with a shot on the way back into the ring and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler puts a beating on Edge and applies a rear chin lock.  Afterward, Ziggler hits a diving sunset flip.  Edge rolls through and catapults him into the corner for 2.  Ziggler always takes that like a champ.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2, then reapplies the rear chin lock.  Edge takes a bump off the apron into the barricade.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Back to the chin lock.  Edge fights out.  Double cross body spot.  Edge avoids a charge in the corner and Ziggler eats turnbuckle again.  Edge hits a flapjack and gets the momentum going.  Weird faceplant thing gets 2.  Ziggler hits a chin breaker for 2.  Ziggler goes for the Fameasser, but Edge turns it into a powerbomb for 2.  Edge goes up top.  Ziggler cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  Ziggler rolls through for 2.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 2.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Edge holds into the ropes to avoid it.  Edge locks in the Edgeucator.  Haven’t seen that one in years.  Ziggler reaches the ropes.  Ziggler avoids a charge against the ropes, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Edge drops Ziggler with a big boot.  He teases going for the spear, then realizes he can’t.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Vickie grabs the referee to stop the count.  Vickie screams at Edge and slaps him.  Ziggler almost collides with Vickie.  Edge cradles him for 2.  Vickie slaps at Edge some more.  Shouldn’t that be a DQ, referee moron?  Kelly Kelly comes out, yanks Vickie off the apron, and kicks her ass.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for 2.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold.  Edge manages to stand up.  They collide with the referee.  Edge hits a backpack stunner.  With Vickie and the referee dead, Edge says “fuck it” and hits the spear, then does the old Eddie Guerrero “play dead” trick.  The referee wakes up.  Edge gives a nod to his old buddy Christian and hits the Killswitch for the pin in 20:46.  Pretty decent match.

WrestleMania commercial.

Boston!

Miz/Orton hype video.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley.

WWE Championship Match: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Randy Orton.  Orton beats down Miz in the corner, then chucks him out of the ring and kicks his ass at ringside.  Back inside, Orton beats the shit out of Miz some more.  Riley interferes behind the referee’s back to allow Miz to get the advantage.  Miz hits the corner clothesline for 2.  Miz finds his stride and gets the heat going on Orton.  Orton goes for a sleeper hold.  Miz counters and goes for a German suplex.  Orton counters and hits a backdrop suplex.  Miz lands a big boot for 2.  Miz goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton hits some clotheslines and the 3.0.  Miz rolls to the apron.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Miz back body drops him the floor.  Riley puts the boots to Orton behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, Miz covers for 2.  Miz hits a diving double axe handle for 2.  Miz stretches Orton’s neck with a chin lock.  On the outside, Miz catapults Orton into the post.  Orton barely beats the count back into the ring and immediately tackle punches Miz.  Orton gives Miz the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for 2.  Orton goes for a powerbomb.  Riley distracts him.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  They counter each others’ finish.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Miz bails, grabs the belt, and tries to leave.  Orton clotheslines him and throws him back into the ring.  Cover gets 2.  Orton ducks a basement kick and schoolboys Miz for 2.  Miz bails to the apron.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  The 4 lesser members of the New Nexus come out.  The referee goes to tell them to leave.  Riley tries to attack Orton, but Orton tosses him out of the ring and onto Nexus.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton counters and hits the RKO.  CM Punk appears and gives Orton the Go 2 Sleep, then puts Miz on top of Orton.  Miz gets the pin in 19:50.  Good match.  Cole mizzes his pants again.

Elimination Chamber commercial.

Todd Grisham reads a statement from “Dashing’ Cody Rhodes.  They show Rhodes getting his face broken by Rey Mysterio 2 weeks ago on Smackdown.

A bunch of fans give their Royal Rumble picks.  One guy actually picks Santino Marella.  I LOL’d.

We’re now set for a handicap match for the Divas Championship.  The iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that it will now be a Fatal Four-Way Match.  Eve Torres comes out to join Natalya and LayCool.

Fatal Four-Way Match for the WWE Divas Championship: Natalya (c) vs. Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Eve Torres.  They pair off and brawl.  LayCool work together.  They actually hit a double Stroke on Eve.  I’ll keep my dirty comments to myself.  Natalya fights back and catapults Layla into McCool.  Cover on Layla, but McCool pulls her to safety.  LayCool end up face to face in the ring with both of the babyfaces down outside.  Natalya trips Layla.  Eve schoolgirls McCool.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Natalya and Eve go at it.  Layla intervenes.  Natalya puts them in a double Sharpshooter.  McCool drops Natalya with a kick.  McCool covers Eve for 2.  Eve gets an inside cradle on McCool.  Layla saves.  Layla gives Eve the Lay Out.  Eve rolls to the floor.  Natalya makes her comeback on LayCool.  Natalya hits a Michinoku Driver II on McCool.  Layla saves.  Natalya beats her up in the corner.  McCool accidentally boots Layla in the face.  Natalya schoolgirls McCool for 2, then throws her outside.  Eve throws out Natalya, then hits a moonsault press on Layla.  McCool schoolgirls Natalya at the same time, but the referee doesn’t see and counts Eve’s pin over Layla in 5:12.  Eve regains the title.  Any match with a moonsault press finish gains points with me.

Josh Matthews interviews WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ Gail Kim).  The Bella Twins interrupt to apologize for last week.  They start arguing and a catfight breaks out.  Bryan gets slapped again.

WrestleMania commercial.

Boston!

Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Justin Roberts gives us our annual explanation of how the Royal Rumble works.  I miss Howard Finkel.

CM Punk comes out as #1.  The Corre come out and jump Punk.  The New Nexus come out to save their master.  The Nexus and The Corre brawl.  iBooker dings in at the same time I get a text message on my iPhone.  That always trips me out.  Cole calls for the officials to restore order and orders everyone but Punk to the back.  And NOW it’s Rumble time!

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is CM Punk.  #2 is WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan.  They lock up.  Punk grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Punk does a drop down.  Bryan catches him with a dropkick, then lands a clothesline.  They fail to eliminate each other.  Bryan hits a missile dropkick.  Punk avoids a charge in the corner.  #3 is Justin Gabriel.  He immediately goes after Punk.  Punk sends him to the apron.  Punk and Bryan clothesline each other.  Gabriel says “fuck it” and goes for the 450 splash.  Punk avoids it.  Bryan backdrops Gabriel out of the ring to eliminate him.  #4 Zack Ryder.  He runs wild and hits face washes on Bryan and Punk.  Bryan elevates Ryder, who hits Punk with the Rough Ryder.  Bryan hip tosses Ryder out of the ring.  Bryan lands some kicks on Punk.  They fight over eliminating each other again.  #5 is William Regal!  Regal mauls some fuckers.  It’s awesome.  Regal blasts Punk with the knee trembler.  Bryan and Regal trade European uppercuts.  Punk drops Regal with a head kick.  Bryan drops Punk with a head kick, then gives Regal another head kick just to make sure he’s good and dead.  #6 is Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  Dibiase runs wild briefly.  Bryan kicks Regal to death some more while Dibiase tries to eliminate Punk.  Bryan tries to eliminate Dibiase, but fails.  #7 John Morrison.  Morrison runs wild.  Flying Chuck to Punk.  C4 to Bryan.  Regal knocks Morrison off the apron.  Morrison grabs onto the barricade, walks along it, and leaps to the steps!  Dibiase eliminates Regal.  Morrison drops Regal with a kick for good measure.  His feet never touched the ground, so he’s still in the Rumble!  #8 is Yoshi Tatsu!  Yoshi brawls with Dibiase and Punk while Morrison beats up Bryan in the corner.  Morrison lands on his feet from a German suplex attempt by Bryan.  #9 Husky Harris.  He attacks everyone and guards Punk.  Punk gives Bryan a backdrop suplex.  #10 is Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Chavo gets his moment to run wild.  He hits Two Amigos on everybody, but only manages to complete the 3 on Bryan.  Chavo hits Harris with a missile dropkick.  #11 is Mark Henry!  Somebody gone get they ass kicked!  Henry eliminates Chavo.  Yoshi tries to chop Henry to no avail.  Henry clotheslines Yoshi out of the ring.  Boo!  Punk and Harris beat down Henry.  #12 is JTG.  He gets his moment to shine.  Harris tries to eliminate Bryan.  #13 is Michael McGillicutty, so there are three New Nexus guys in now.  McGillicutty eliminates JTG.  Everybody brawls.  Harris and McGillicutty back body drop Dibiase to the floor.  #14 is Chris Masters.  He goes after Nexus, which isn’t that bright, because there are three of them.  He hits a spinebuster on McGillicutty, then gets Punk in the Master Lock and tries to eliminate him.  McGillicutty saves Punk and stomps on Masters in the corner.  #15 is David Otunga.  Four Nexus guys in.  Punk (I think) eliminates Bryan.  Boo!  Nexus eliminates Masters and Morrison.  I think I missed Dibiase getting eliminated somewhere.  Nexus team up to dump Henry.  It’s all Nexus now.  #16 is Tyler Reks.  He charges right in like an idiot.  Nexus beats him down.  Punk drops him with a head kick and eliminates him.  #17 is WWE Tag Team Champion Vladimir Kozlov.  Nexus beat him down.  Punk tosses him.  #18 is R-Truth.  Another Nexus beatdown.  Another elimination by Punk.  Why don’t these guys just wait for a few more entrants to come in so they have a fighting chance?  #19 is Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh)!  Khali beats up everybody.  Khali eliminates Harris.  Punk begs off.  Khali beats him up.  #20 is Mason Ryan.  We’re back to having four Nexus guys.  Ryan and Khali brawl.  Ryan eliminates Khali!  #21 is BOOKER T!  Big pop for Booker.  Ryan immediately jumps him.  Booker rallies and runs wild.  Ryan gets a Harlem side kick.  Otunga gets a scissors kick.  McGillicutty gets a Book End.  The epic return of the SPINAROONIE!  Punk attacks Booker.  Booker tries to eliminate him.  Ryan saves Punk and tosses Booker.  Aww.  #22 is John Cena!  Cena runs wild on Nexus.  Cena low bridges Ryan out of the ring, then clotheslines Otunga and McGillicutty to the floor.  Punk’s all alone now!  They go at it.  Cena counters the Go 2 Sleep.  They do a double clothesline spot.  #23 is… Hornswoggle.  Fucking Hornswoggle.  Punk knocks him down and goes back after Cena.  Cena eliminates Punk with the Attitude Adjustment out of the ring.  All of that build just for Super Cena to eliminate all of Nexus?  Cena and Hornswoggle are working together now.  #24 is Tyson Kidd.  Cena and Hornswoggle double team him.  Of course I’m serious.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment.  He helps Horswoggle hit one as well.  Tyson is probably seriously rethinking his career choice right now.  Cena dumps Kidd.  #25 is Heath Slater.  Cena gives him shoulder blocks.  Hornswoggle gives Slater a stunner.  Cena and Hornswoggle do a double Five Knuckle Shuffle.  So a Ten Knuckle Shuffle?  Hornswoggle hits the tadpole splash.  Cena tosses Slater.  #26 is WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  Cena and Kofi look up at the big WrestleMania sign, then lock up.  Kofi leapfrogs Cena and connects with an elbow.  Kofi hits corner punches.  Cena hits a clothesline.  #27 is Jack Swagger.  Swagger runs wild.  He’s not playing nice.  Swagger hits Vader Bombs on Cena and Kingston.  Swagger stalks Hornswoggle after he starts some shit.  Kofi hits Swagger with a diving cross body.  Kingston uses Hornswoggle as a springboard to hit the Boom Drop.  #28 is Sheamus!  Sheamus beats up everyone.  Hornswoggle wants to fight.  Sheamus casually shoves him down.  Hornswoggle hits Sweet Shin Music.  Sheamus tries to toss him, but is saved by Cena.  Hornswoggle goes for the tadpole splash, but Sheamus recovers and eliminates him with the brogue kick.  Thank God.  #29 is Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio runs wild and hits lots of flippy twirly moves.  He goes for the 619 on Swagger, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Kofi hits Sheamus with the Trouble In Paradise.  Mysterio sends Swagger to the apron, then eliminates him with the 619.  #30 is Wade Barrett.  Barrett beats up everyone.  #31 is Dolph Ziggler.  So he gets a title shot and a Rumble spot?  He looks sore from earlier, but he sucks it up and beats up everyone.  There are a few near eliminations.  #32 is DIESEL!  Motherfucking Diesel!  The crowd LOVES him.  Diesel runs wild in his slow, plodding way.  A fucking “DIESEL!” chant in 2011!  #33 is Drew McIntyre.  McIntyre and Sheamus beat down Diesel, who the crowd still LOVES.  Mysterio finally gets revenge for that lawn dart thing and hits Diesel with a 619.  Barrett and Diesel brawl.  Sheamus and McIntyre are working together.  #34 is Alex Riley (w/ WWE Champion The Miz).  Cole marks out.  Diesel misses a big boot, crotches himself, and gets eliminated by Barrett.  The crowd DOES NOT like that.  Cole does like it when Miz joins the commentary team.  #35 is The Big Show.  He and Diesel stare at each other in the aisle.  Show hits the ring and runs wild.  Show chokeslams Barrett, then tosses Ziggler.  #36 is Ezekiel Jackson.  Show eliminates Ziggler.  Zeke runs wild and eliminates Big Show!  Zeke kicks ass.  He and Barrett work together.  #37 is WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella.  Marella tries to beat up Zeke.  Zeke yells at him.  Sheamus drops Santino the the brogue kick.  Santino rolls under the bottom rope to the floor.  Zeke and Barrett try to eliminate Cena.  #38 is Alberto Del Rio, introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.  He’s in no hurry to get in the ring.  #39 is Randy Orton.  He attacks Del Rio in the aisle and throws him into the steps, then into the ring.  RKOs to Del Rio, Sheamus, and Kofi.  Orton tosses Kofi, then clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.  Orton and Sheamus face off.  #40 is Kane.  He runs wild until he’s cut off by Big Zeke.  Kane low bridges Zeke out of the ring.  Mysterio eliminates Kane.  Barrett eliminates Mysterio.  Final four are Cena, Barrett, Del Rio, and Orton.  They pair off and brawl.  Cena and Orton beat up the heels, then face off again.  They brawl.  They counters each others’ finishes.  Barrett attacks Cena again.  Barrett beats up Orton while Del Rio beats up Cena.  Cena gives Del Rio the Attitude Adjustment.  Alex Riley comes back.  Cena decks him.  Miz sneaks in and eliminates Cena!  Cena is pissed.  Barrett and Del Rio beat down Orton.  Orton makes his comeback.  Powerslam on Barrett.  3.0 on Del Rio.  Orton humps the mat.  Orton eliminates Barrett.  Del Rio dumps Orton to win the Rumble in 1:08:42.  BUT WAIT!  SANTINO IS UP!  And he was never eliminated!  Santino hits the Cobra!  Santino dances around like a goof.  Del Rio throws him out to win the Rumble for real in 1:09:54.  Ricardo goes crazy.  Funniest Rumble finish ever!  Del Rio points at the WrestleMania sign as some pyro goes off behind it.  Ricardo keeps yelling “ALBERTO DEL RIO!”  Awesome.

Good show.  The Rumble is always good times.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 1/28/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video of recent goings on.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Vickie Guerrero is already in the ring screaming in her nails on a chalkboard voice.  She says Teddy Long won’t be there tonight, so she’s gonna run the show into the ground.  Randy Orton comes out.  He says he’s only here to show his appreciate for being invited here tonight.  He says she’ll have to excuse him for what he does to her boyfriend tonight, just like Miz will have to excuse him for taking the WWE title on Sunday.  He creepily puts his arm around her and compliments her hair.  Everyone so badly wants to see Vickie get RKO’d.  He looks at her threateningly.  Dolph Ziggler comes out and gets all emo.  He and Orton banter.  Ziggler demands respect.  Orton says respect has to be earned, then drops Ziggler with an RKO.

Tonight, Edge & Randy Orton take on The Miz & Dolph Ziggler!

Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Kelly Kelly & Kaitlyn.  Team KKK jump LayCool in the aisle and kick their asses.  The match finally starts.  Kaitlyn eats a boot from MCCool, but rallies and beats her up some more.  Layla intervenes.  McCool boots Kaitlyn in the face for the pin in 40 seconds.  I guess it served its purpose and was thankfully short.

Kofi Kingston insists that we don’t try this at home.  There’s always random shit like that on the UK broadcasts.

Speaking of random shit from the UK broadcasts, we get part of an Undertaker/Big Show Steel Cage Match from 2008.  Jim Ross and Tazz are doing commentary.  I fast forward for a bit.  Undertaker wins with the Hell’s Gate.

Drew McIntyre vs. JTG.  Kelly Kelly is at ringside, probably because she couldn’t find her way back to the locker room.  Cole calls her on her hypocrisy, having just participated in a pre-match attack after bitching at McIntyre for kicking ass last week.  JTG beats up McIntyre and dropkicks him to the floor.  McIntyre drags JTG out of the ring and kicks his ass.  Back inside, McIntyre gives JTG a bunch of neckbreakers for 2.  McIntyre beats JTG’s ass some more.  McIntyre hits a nice dropkick for 2.  McIntyre applies a shoulder hold.  JTG gets a crucifix hold out of nowhere for 2.  McIntyre takes offense and stomps on JTG’s face.  McIntyre gets some 2 counts, then goes back to the shoulder hold.  JTG fights out and gets a backslide for 2.  JTG makes his comeback.  McIntyre rolls through another backslide attempt and hits the Future Shock for the pin in 4:36.  Fun little match.  Kelly gets in the ring.  McIntyre wisely blows her off and leaves.

Tonight, Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO!

Cincinnati!

They show Rey Mysterio breaking Cody Rhodes’ face last week.

Todd Grisham interviews Cody Rhodes, who won’t face the camera.  He says that since his face is broken, he can’t wrestle and he’ll have to have reconstructive courtesy.  He’s all emo because he’s not Dashing anymore.

Jack Korpela interviews World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  He talks about The Corre, then moves onto his tag match tonight.

Alberto Del Rio is headed our way.  He meets Michael Tarver, who is randomly hanging around backstage again.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio comes out and says he’s going to do a Royal Rumble Exhibition with 39 fighters from all over the world.  Really?  Some guy named Seth Allen comes out.  Del Rio kicks his ass and tosses him.  Mike Stevens is next.  Del Rio kicks his ass.  Kane comes out and kicks Del Rio’s ass.  Del Rio rallies and rocks Kane with an enzuigiri.  Kane recovers and goes for a chokeslam.  WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston comes out and bundles both of them over the top rope.  So I guess he wins.  Or not.  Del Rio and Kane surround him.  Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out to even the odds.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and books them in a tag match RIGHT NOW!  Insta-commercials.

Kane & Alberto Del Rio vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston & Rey Mysterio Jr.  Kane beats up Kofi.  Kofi dropkicks Kane’s knee, then kicks him in the face.  Del Rio tags in and beats up Kofi.  Kofi rallies and makes the tag.  They double team Del Rio.  Mysterio is rocking wonky half gold/half silver gear tonight.  Del Rio avoids Mysterio in the corner, causing him to tackle the turnbuckle.  Kane tags in.  Mysterio gets him into position and goes for the 619.  Kane bails.  Mysterio hits him with a baseball slide dropkick.  Kofi tags in.  Kofi and Mysterio hit stereo baseball slide dropkicks.  Kofi hits Del Rio with a tope suicida.  Mysterio hits Kane with the Bombs Away to the floor.  Back inside, Kofi goes up top.  Del Rio pushes him off.  The heels get the heat on Kofi for a while.  Mysterio gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Mysterio tries to springboard, but Kane boots him to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Heels get the heat on Mysterio.  Mysterio plants Kane with a whirling DDT.  Kofi and Del Rio tag in.  Kofi runs wild.  Del Rio catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and a diving cross body.  Kane saves.  Del Rio argues with Kane for being knocked off the apron a minute ago.  Kane boots him in the face and leaves.  Mysterio hits the 619.  Kofi follows with the Trouble In Paradise for the pin (12:23 shown).  Good match.

Highlights of Edge/Miz from Raw.

Tonight, Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO!

The Big Show comes out, all smiling and happy.  They show him being jumped by The Corre 2 weeks ago.  He turns from happy to pissed off.  He likens the attack to being in the Royal Rumble.  The Corre come out.  They have t-shirts now.  They surround the ring.  Show challenges any of them to fight one on one.  Slater jumps Show from behind.  A referee appears and rings the bell.

The Big Show vs. Heath Slater (w/ Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, & Justin Gabriel).  Show kicks Slater’s ass.  Slater takes out Show’s knee.  Show caves on Slater’s chest with a chop and makes his comeback.  Show hits the chokeslam for the pin in 1:17.  The rest of the Corre jump Show.  R-Truth, Chris Masters, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, and Daniel Bryan hit the ring and clear out The Corre.

Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO is TONIGHT!

Beth Phoenix warns us to not try this at home, school, or anywhere else.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video and hype.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Cole mizzes his pants.  Miz cuts a promo about the Truman Doctrine of all things.  He says this has nothing to do with the Royal Rumble, then talks about Randy Orton.  Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out.  The main event is NEXT!

WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) & Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Rated RKO (World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Randy Orton).  Orton wants Miz, but of course, Ziggler starts.  They lock up.  Ziggler backs Orton into the corner and cheap shots him instead of giving a clean break.  Orton explodes with a clothesline and beats up Ziggler.  Miz annoys him from the apron, so Orton goes after him.  Orton chases Miz right into Ziggler, who beats him up.  Orton hits a Lou Thesz press with punches, then tags in Edge.  Edge hits a diving clothesline on Ziggler for 2.  Ziggler hits a face buster for 2.  Miz tags in and beats up Edge.  Orton tags in and beats up Miz.  He hits the powerslam and humps the mat.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler beats up Orton.  The announcers blame the random cut away on technical difficulties.  Heels get the heat on Orton.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  Miz goes for the corner clothesline, but Orton explodes with a clothesline of his own.  Edge and Ziggler tag in.  Edge runs wild.  Edge goes for the spear.  Riley gets on the apron.  Edge decks him.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on Ziggler.  Miz saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Orton takes Miz outside.  Edge avoids the Zig Zag and spears Ziggler for the pin (7:42 shown).  Fine match.  Vickie Guerrero screams that the spear is banned.  That’s fucking stupid.  She says if Edge uses the spear at the Rumble, Ziggler automatically wins the title.  I hate stupid stipulations like that.  So does Edge.  He spears Ziggler off the apron, then spears him twice more for good measure.  Man, they buried Ziggler six feet under tonight.

Pretty fun show.

WWE Superstars 1/27/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2011 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Trent Barreta vs. Tyler Reks.  They lock up.  Reks powers Barreta into the corner.  Barreta slips out and grabs a side headlock.  Reks throws him down.  Barreta replies with a slap and a forearm.  Reks bails, then comes back in and tries to bully Barreta more.  Barreta won’t take the bullying, but is soon overcome by power.  Reks puts a hurting on Barreta while the announcers talk about how Reks hunts elk with his bare hands.  Reks pulls Barreta into the post and stretches him.  Barreta lands a kick on Reks coming back into the ring, then drops him with a dropkick.  Barreta lands an enzuigiri, then hits a clothesline for 2.  Barreta lands on his feet froma backdrop suplex and lands a knee strike for 2.  Barreta tries to springboard, but Reks kicks him down.  Reks hits his sort of Burning Hammer for the pin in 5:20.  Good little match.

NXT recap.

Tonight, R-Truth takes on Tyson Kidd!  That’s a pretty sweet match.

WWE.com plug.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Zack Ryder and Primo come out and cut a promo about how they’re overlooked.  They’re disappointed that the crowd doesn’t give a shit about them.

Zack Ryder & Primo vs. David Hart Smith & Yoshi Tatsu.  Smith and Ryder lock up.  Smith hits an arm drag.  They roll around and do a cool little bit of wrestling.  Yoshi tags in and lands some kicks.  Ryder gets away and tags out.  Yoshi gets Primo with a la magistral for 2.  Yoshi hits some swank arm drags and cranks on Primo’s arm.  Yoshi and Smith make quick tags and take turns working over Primo.  Smith boots Primo off the apron the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Primo has Smith in a chin lock on the ground.  Ryder and Primo got the advantage via heel chicanery during the break.  They make lots of tags and keep the heat on Smith.  Smith drops Ryder with a backdrop suplex and makes the hot tag.  Yoshi runs wild on Primo.  Yoshi hits a Shining Wizards for 2.  He goes up top and hits the diving spin kick.  Ryder saves.  Smith tries to powerbomb Ryder, but Primo sends them both out of the ring.  Primo hits the Backstabber on Yoshi for the pin (7:54 shown).  Fine little match.

Truth vs. Kidd TONIGHT!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Dolph Ziggler hype video.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video and hype for the title matches.

R-Truth comes out.  The main event is NEXT!

R-Truth vs. Tyson Kidd.  Truth dances.  Kidd is unimpressed.  They trade arm locks.  Truth wins and yells “What’s Up!”  Kidd gets a side headlock takeover and scores a shoulder block.  They trade some more holds.  Truth lands a shoulder block.  Kidd looks taken aback.  Kidd beats on Truth in the corner.  Truth flips around and hits a hip toss.  Truth hits a clothesline that sends them both to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Kidd has a rear chin lock.  He keeps the heat going.  Truth hits a flapjack and makes his comeback.  Truth hits a suplex stunner.  Cover, but Kidd manages to grab the bottom rope.  Second cover also gets 2.  Kidd avoids the scissors kick and hits a dropkick for 2.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter, but Truth kicks him out of the ring.  Kidd gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Truth gets a schoolboy for 2.  Truth hits the Paydirt (now called the What’s Up) for the pin (7:47 shown).  Is it WWE policy that there HAS to be a black guy on the roster who uses that as his finish?  Fine match, though.

Fun show.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/24/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our announcers LIVE from Detroit!  Tonight, Edge vs. Miz in a champion vs. champion match!  Natalya vs. Melina for the Divas Championship!  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out and talks about how he hates waiting for things.  He wants his match with Miz NOW.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that the match won’t happen until later, but the computer is still pissed off at Edge, so he’s going to put Edge in some kind of thing where whoever throws Edge over the top rope gets the #40 spot in the Royal Rumble.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Jack Swagger vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Tyson Kidd.  Edge spears Swagger immediately.  Kidd drops Edge with a head kick.  Edge powerslams him and tosses him out.  McIntyre drops Edge with a boot and tries to eliminate him.  Swagger saves.  Edge tosses Swagger.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Edge tosses him to win it in 1:08.  This was pretty dumb and pointless.

Edge teases that he’ll beat up the laptop again.  Cole tries to protect it.  The New Nexus come out to the ring.  Punk cuts a promo about how his strength will allow him to win the Royal Rumble.  He introduces his new big guy as Mason Ryan.  Ryan says “faith.”  Punk rambles on this note for a while.  He says Nexus will make sure he wins the Rumble.  The Corre (who Punk called “that poor man’s Nexus”) come out to the ring and face off with Nexus.  Barrett says the New Nexus is the poor man’s Nexus.  Jackson says The Corre will make sure to eliminate Punk at the Rumble.  Jackson and Ryan face off.  iBooker dings in again.  Cole announces Barrett vs. Punk tonight, with the loser and his team being out of the Rumble match and John Cena as the guest referee.  Commercials!

Slam of the Week: Mark Henry throwing Sheamus over the top rope last week, then Alberto Del Rio cutting his usual promo.

John Morrison & Mark Henry vs. Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio is introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.  Del Rio and Morrison lock up.  Del Rio stomps down Morrison in the corner.  Sheamus tags in and brawls with his rival, Morrison.  Morrison hits a headscissors and a dropkick for 2.  Sheamus lands a kick to the gut and tags Del Rio in.  Morrison connects with a shoulder block and a kick, then hits a side Russian leg sweep.  Moirrison goes for Starship Pain, but Sheamus pulls Del Rio to safety.  Commercials.  Del Rio has Morrison in a chin lock, since the heels used heel chicanery to get the advantage during the break.  Morrison plays face in peril.  Michael Tarver is watching on TV backstage.  Sheamus puts a vicious meeting on Morrison and goes for the brogue kick.  Morrison ducks it and lands an enzuigiri.  Del Rio and Henry tag in.  Henry runs wild.  Sheamus breaks Henry’s cover on Del Rio.  Henry breaks Sheamus’ head.  Sheamus drops Henry with the brogue kick.  Morrison drops Sheamus with the Flying Chuck, then hits a dive to the outside.  Del Rio gets Henry in the Minoru Special for the win in 10:05.  Good little match.

Tonight, Barrett vs. Punk!  Next, Natalya vs. Melina!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Natalya (c) vs. Melina.  They lock up.  There is screaming.  Melina tackles Natalya through the ropes and to the floor.  Back inside, Melina works Natalya’s hair.  Ugh.  Cover gets 2.  Melina applies a weird arm scissors hold.  Natalya stands up and rams Melina into the corner.  Melina kicks Natalya in the head.  Natalya hits a botched hip toss and a throw.  Melina lands a clothesline.  Melina goes for a leg drop through the legs.  Natalya catches her leg and turns it into a Sharpshooter.  Natalya bridges all the way back and gets the submission in 2:44.  I like the finish.  Reminded me of Bret/Perfect from SummerSlam ’91.  Michelle McCool and Layla come out.  Fucking ugh.  They’re fucking obnoxious.  They say they’re getting a title shot at the Rumble.  Ugh.

Tonight, Edge vs. Miz.  Commercials.

Detroit!

Highlights of Punk vs. Cena from last week.

CM Punk lectures The New Nexus about sacrifice, because they’re supposed to sacrifice their chances to win the Rumble for him.  They have questions, but Punk is unconcerned.

Josh Matthews interviews John Cena.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley interrupt.  Stupid comedy ensues, then Cena tries to get serious, then makes another lame joke.  Cena and Matthews leave.  Miz is mad that everyone thinks he’s going to lose at the Rumble.  They show the video of Miz and Riley beating down Randy Orton last week.

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out to do commentary.  Ugh.  Edge avoids some kicks from Miz and beats him up.  They do a little wrestling.  Edge clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  Commercials.  Miz connects with a knee lift and targets Edge’s injured ribs.  Cover gets 2.  Edge rallies and connects with a neckbreaker.  I hate matches that focus on the fucking announcers.  Edge goes for the spear, but Miz bails.  Edge follows and they brawl outside.  Edge reverses Miz’s Irish whip into the barricade.  Back inside, Edge goes up top.  Miz cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge beats up Miz.  Miz avoids Edge in the corner, then front suplexes him into the ropes.  Commercials.  Miz beats up Edge and continues working on his ribs.  Edge hits a flapjack and makes his comeback.  Edge hits his wonky face plant move for 2.  Edge avoids the running clothesline the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Riley bothers Edge, so Edge goes after him.  Miz gets a distracted Edge with an inside cradle for 2.  Edge ducks a clothesline and hits a baseball slide dropkick on Riley.  Edge gives Miz the Edgecution and goes for the spear.  Ziggler trips Edge to cause the DQ in 16:39, then hits the Zig Zag.  Randy Orton runs in to make the save.  He drops Riley and Ziggler, then kicks Miz’s ass.  Orton drops Riley and Ziggler with RKOs.  Miz takes out Orton’s knee with Riley’s briefcase, then runs away.  The match was okay.

Tonight, Barrett vs. Punk!  Commercials.

Josh Matthews interviews Wade Barrett.  The rest of the Corre comes in.  Barrett says they’re all equals.  He again professes their innocence regarding what happened to Teddy Long.  He says he respects John Cena.

WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan & The Bella Twins vs. Ted Dibiase Jr., Maryse, & Alicia Fox.  Bryan and Dibiase lock up.  Dibiase lands a shoulder block.  Bryan leap frogs Dibiase and hits a hip toss.  Maryse tags herself in and orders Dibiase out.  One of the Bellas schools Maryse while the other flirts with Bryan.  Maryse schoolgirls the Bella for the pin in 1:01.  That was pointless.  The Bellas argue.

Barrett vs. Punk TONIGHT!  Commercials.

Detroit!

Royal Rumble hype.

The Bellas argue backstage.  There’s another Michael Tarver sighting.  They go into Daniel Bryan’s locker room and find him making out with Gail Kim.  Bryan’s a pimp!  He says they’ve been dating for 6 months, but keeping it quit.  They thought he was a virgin, but he’s a vegan.  They’re dumb and pointless, and he felt sorry for them.  A catfight breaks out.  One of the Bellas decks Bryan in the process.

New Nexus come out.  The tag titles are on the line NEXT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

This week on Smackdown, Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO!

It’s announced that Cole was an idiot before and this isn’t a tag title match.

Non-Title: Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris of The New Nexus (w/ David Otunga & Mason Ryan) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina).  McGillicutty beats up Kozlov.  Kozlov takes him down and tags in Santino.  Santino gets a side headlock takeover.  The next thing of note that he gets is his head taken off with an enzui lariat.  Nexus get the heat on Marella.  Santino tries to make the tag, but Harris knocks Kozlov off the apron.  Santino rallies and makes his comeback on Harris.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  McGillicutty distracts him.  Harris mauls Santino with a lariat, then hits a Complete Shot for the pin in 3:49.  Well, there ya go.  Otunga gets on the mic, puts over his boys, and introduces CM Punk.

John Cena gets a referee shirt on his way to the ring.  The main event is NEXT!  Commercials.

CM Punk (w/ David Otunga, Michael McGillicutty, Husky Harris, & Mason Ryan) vs. Wade Barrett (w/ Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, & Heath Slater).  John Cena is the referee.  Cena ejects the New Nexus and Corre before the match.  The match finally starts, then Cena shoves Punk and begs him to punch him, then slaps Barrett for good measure.  Punk beats down Barrett and throws him over the top rope to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble.  Punk yells that that’s he’ll do to Cena on Sunday.  Cena eliminates Punk from the Rumble.  Punk threatens to punch Cena.  Barrett beats up Punk.  Cena goes outside to sign autographs.  Barrett yells at him for missing a cover.  Punk attacks Barrett again.  Double clothesline spot.  Cena stops the match in 1:58.  He DQs both of them from “excessive profanity on a PG show,” so both teams are out of the Rumble.  That’s kind of funny.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that Cena abused his power, so everybody’s in the Rumble.  Well that’s a jip.  iBooker says Cena has to apologize, or he’s out of the Rumble.  Cena goes back to the ring, “apologizes,” and decks both of them.  The Corre and The New Nexus hit the ring, so Cena bails.  A couple of guys go after Cena and a brawl breaks out.  The locker room empties as Big Show, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Daniel Bryan, Yoshi Tatsu, R-Truth, John Morrison, and Mark Henry come out.  Everybody brawls as the show closes.

Fun show.  Not great, but fun.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 1/21/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011 by Grappleholic

Highlights of Big Show/Wade Barrett from last week, with the formation of the new Barrett/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Ezekiel Jackson group.

Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, and Heath Slater come to the ring.  Their group is called The Corre.  They all introduce themselves.  Teddy Long comes out to bitch at them for being assholes.  Barrett tries to explain why the Corre is good for Smackdown.  They banter for a bit.  Teddy insists that they play by the rules, then leaves.  Alberto Del Rio comes out to tell The Corre that they’re welcome here, but Smackdown is his show.  He cuts his usual promo about it being his destiny to win the Royal Rumble.  Insta-commercials.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth.  Del Rio beats up Truth.  Truth hits a clothesline and Del Rio bails.  Truth beats him up on the outside.  Back inside, Truth avoids an elbow drop and covers for 2.  Truth works Del Rio’s arm.  Cut to backstage, where Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero have found Teddy Long unconscious.  Truth keeps beating up Del Rio.  Truth hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner, then clotheslines Del Rio out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Truth boots Del Rio in the face and goes to the middle rope.  Del Rio pulls him down.  Cover gets 2.  Del Rio works Truth’s shoulder, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Del Rio beats on Truth.  Cut to the back, where the paramedics are taking Teddy away.  I spot Tony Garea.  Truth makes his comeback and hits a front suplex for 2.  Del Rio rallies and hits an enzuigiri for 2.  Cole says Teddy Long has suffered trauma to the back of the head.  Truth hits a hip toss.  Rodriguez trips Truth.  Del Rio pulls Truth’s arm over the top rope, then gets the Minoru Special for the submission (6:42 shown).  This was pretty much just a backdrop for the angle with Teddy.

Teddy Long is loaded into an ambulance.  Vickie Guerrero, Dolph Ziggler, JTG, Rosa Mendez, Hornswoggle, Curt Hawkins, Michael Tarver, Trent Barreta, and Kaitlyn are seen looking on.

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come back into the office to find The Corre.  They say they had nothing to do with what happened to Teddy and offer their assistance.  She wants one of them to face Edge tonight and soften him up for Ziggler.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Tonight, Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Beth Phoenix.  They lock up.  Phoenix overpowers Layla.  Layla lands some kicks.  Phoenix does big swing and hits a clothesline for 2.  Layla hits a nifty rope walk armbreaker.  Cover gets 2.  Layla works Phoenix’s arm and applies a nifty hold.  Phoenix stands up with Layla and drops her to break it.  Phoenix makes her comeback.  Phoenix hits the slingshot suplex for 2.  Layla attacks Beth’s injured arm again.  Beth hits a backbreaker and the Glam Slam for the pin in 3:32.  It wasn’t awful.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way!

Tulsa!

Stand Up For WWE BS.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes grabs a side headlock, then hits a clothesline.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors.  Rhodes gets the advantage and works Mysterio’s knee.  Rhodes sends Mysteri outside.  Mysterio avoids a baseball slide dropkick, then hits a drop toehold into the steps.  Back inside, Mysterio hits the diving seated senton for 2.  Mysterio hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Rhodes hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Mysterio rallies and hits the 619 and a diving splash for the pin in 4:02.  Fine little match.  Rhodes looks to have a broken nose or something.

Todd Grisham tries to give an update on Teddy Long.  Alex Riley interrupts.  He and WWE Champion The Miz are on Smackdown tonight.  Cole mizzes his pants.

Tonight, Edge vs. a member of The Corre!

The trainer tells Cody Rhodes that his nose is broken.  Rhodes looks in the mirror and freaks out.

Non-Title Amateur Wrestling Challenge: Jack Swagger vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  3 minute time limit.  Swagger gets a takedown.  Kofi escapes.  They keep doing boring amateur wrestling for a while.  Swagger dominates.  Kofi makes a comeback at the end, but Swagger wins 10-9.  Swagger jumps Kofi after the match.  Kofi kicks his ass, gives him the Trouble In Paradise, and hits a diving cross body, just because the crowd usually pops so big for it.

They show the brawl between Edge and Dolph Ziggler on The Cutting Edge last week.

Tonight, Edge vs. ?!

The announcer hype how the Smackdown ratings have gone up or something.

Trent Barreta vs. Drew McIntyre.  They show Barreta’s upset victory over McIntyre last week and the subsequent backstage attack and whatever is going on with Drew and Kelly Kelly.  McIntyre hits a belly to belly suplex, then pounds on Barreta.  McIntyre hits a snap suplex for 2.  Barreta rallies and hits a dropkick.  Barreta goes for a springboard rana, but McIntyre turns it into a powerbomb.  Cover gets 2.  McIntyre hits a hip toss off the top rope for the pin in 2:07.  McIntyre offers a handshake after the match, but Barreta decks him like a dick.  McIntyre righteously kicks his ass.  Kelly Kelly comes out and orders him to stop.  Hey, Barreta had it coming this time!  McIntyre tries to explain himself, but the dumb bimbo goes to check on Barreta instead.  Sorry, but this is a case of the heel being right.

Tonight, Edge vs. ?!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Cole mizzes all over himself.  Miz cuts a promo.  They show him and Riley beating down Randy Orton on Raw.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out.  They banter.  Riley talks shit to Edge and gets speared.  Miz acts like he wants to fight, then bitches down.  The main event is NEXT!

Edge is in the ring.  The Corre come out.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and screeches in her horrible voice.  Dolph Ziggler comes out to do commentary.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Justin Gabriel (w/ Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, & Heath Slater).  Edge does some arm locks.  Gabriel throws a forearm.  This apparently pisses Edge off, because he starts kicking Gabriel’s ass.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Gabriel gets the advantage and beats up Edge.  Edge rallies and sends Gabriel to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Gabriel gets a 2 count on Edge.  Gabriel hits a side Russian leg sweep and transitions into a weird hold.  Gabriel hits an STO and goes up top.  Edge wakes up and catches him with a dropkick.  Edge gives Gabriel an Edge-O-Matic against the ropes.  Edge goes up top.  Gabriel cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge goes for the spear.  Guys start getting on the apron.  Edge decks Barrett and Slater, but Jackson gives Edge a lariat.  Gabriel gets the pin (7:21 shown).  That’s a hell of a lariat.  Okayish match.  The Corre surrounds Edge and commence to beating him down.  They all give Edge their finishes and leave.  Ziggler places a foot on Edge and stands tall as the show ends.

Okay show.  It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t anything great either.

WWE Superstars 1/20/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2011 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  JTG works a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Chavo gets a side headlock takeover, then beats up JTG for a bit.  JTG catches a kick and lands a clothesline, then hits a basement boot to the face.  JTG slides out of the ring and hits a palm thrust.  They brawl outside.  Chavo hits the Eddie hilo back in for 2.  Chavo locks in a body scissors/armbar/chin lock.  JTG escapes.  Chavo lands a dropkick for 2.  Chavo hits a sweet backdrop suplex for 2.  Chavo keeps the heat going.  JTG hits a back body drop and makes his comeback.  JTG hits a Regal Cutter for 2.  Chavo hits a release Northern Lights suplex, then puts the boots to JTG.  JTG dropkicks Chavo into the corner, then hits the Mugshot.  JTG hits the Sling Blade for the pin in 5:48.  Good little match.

Tonight, Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd!  Yeah, I’m psyched.

WWE.com plug.

Chris Masters vs. Curt Hawkins.  Hawkins tries a go behind.  Masters is playing that shit and beats the shit out of him.  Hawkins catches Masters with a boot to the face.  Masters hits a spinebuster.  Hawkins avoids a dive and puts to boots to Masters.  Hawkins hits a suplex for 2.  Hawkins keeps the heat going.  Masters rallies and locks in the Master Lock for the win in 3:23.  Well this wasn’t much.

NXT recap.

Yoshi vs. Kidd TONIGHT!

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Zack Ryder & Primo vs. David Hart Smith & Darren Young.  Ryder yells “Woo Woo Woo,” then grabs Young in a side headlock, then a hammerlock.  Young hits a clothesline.  Ryder tags out.  Young schools Primo with arm torture, then tags in Smith, who continues the arm work.  Smith hits a powerslam and a powerbomb, then gets distracted by Ryder.  Primo recovers and takes out Smith’s knee.  Ryder tags in and works over Smith.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker and a leg drop for 2.  Primo tags in and keeps the heat going.  Smith continues to play face in peril as Ryder and Primo make quick tags and work him over.  Smith catches Primo with a big belly to belly suplex.  Ryder and Young tag in.  The crowd actually goes nuts as Young runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Primo and Smith are sent outside.  Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on Young for the pin in 5:01.  Fun little match.

Yoshi vs. Kidd TONIGHT!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Raw Rebound.

The main event is NEXT!

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd.  Kidd tries a go behind.  Yoshi reverses it.  Kidd grabs an arm lock.  Yoshi counters.  Sweet, sweet chain wrestling.  Kidd gets a side headlock takeover.  Yoshi turns it into a head scissors.  Kidd nips up.  Yoshi throws a head kick, but Kidd bails to the apron.  Kidd forces Yoshi to hold his weight while doing a back bridge.  Yosho rallies.  They do a pinfall reversal sequence.  Yoshi lands some kicks.  Kidd elevates Yoshi to the apron, then hits a Dragon screw leg whip through the ropes.  Insta-commercials.  Kidd works Yoshi’s leg for a while.  Yoshi uses his free leg to kick Kidd through the ropes to the floor.  Kidd goes for the Superstar Elbow.  Yoshi avoids it and makes his comeback as best he can on one leg.  Yoshi hits a Northern Lights suplex hold, but can’t hold his bridge with one leg.  Yoshi goes up top and misses his big kick.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter, but Yoshi catches him in a cradle for the pin (8:12 shown).  Good match.  I really liked the finish.

Fun little show this week.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, annual Martin Luther King Jr. day video.  We are LIVE in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

John Cena comes to the ring.  They show him getting beaten up by the New Nexus 3 weeks ago.  Cena talks about said event, promises to win the Royal Rumble and go to WrestleMania, then calls out CM Punk.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out instead.  He rants about whatever for a minute, then announces that this year’s Royal Rumble will be 40 men instead of 30.  Why is it his job to announce that?  Miz advises whoever wins the Rumble to go after the other champion instead.  Cena makes some lame jokes, then talks about the times that Miz would have lost the title to Lawler and Orton if Cole and Riley hadn’t interfered.  Then he makes more lame jokes.  He says “poopy noises” on national TV.  Yes, he said that.  They banter for a while.  Cena says that the main event at Mania will be Cena vs. Orton.  I fucking hope not.  The New Nexus come out.  Punk cuts a promo on Cena, then sends Husky Harris, Michael McGillicutty, and David Otunga to the ring.  They attack Cena.  WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov make the save.  Yes, I’m serious.  Punk decides to try different odds and all 4 of the New Nexus head to the ring.  Cole gets an e-mail from the iBooker.  iBooker bans Nexus from ringside during tonight’s Cena/Punk match on pain of not being in the Royal Rumble.

Tonight, Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton!  Commercials.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  No entrances, but we get in ring entrances.  Santino and Jimmy go at it.  The Usos cut Santino off and get the heat on him.  Kozlov tags the tag and beats up Jey.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Kozlov goes for the Iron Curtain, but Jey counters.  Santino tags in and hits the Cobra for the pin in 2:33.  This was nothing.

The New Nexus bicker amongst themselves backstage.  CM Punk comes in and smiles creepily at them, then says “faith.”

John Morrison is headed our way.  He encounters WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan and The Bella Twins.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: John Morrison vs. Sheamus from last week.

John Morrison hype video.

Non-Title: John Morrison vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins).  They lock up and do a sweet chain wrestling sequence.  That always brings joy to my heart.  Danielson does the leapfrog, drop down, dropkick.  Morison is sent outside.  Bryan slides out.  They both slide back in and do the stalemate post.  Commercials.  Morrison has Danielson grounded.  That’s backwards.  Morrison hits a side Russian leg sweep and takes too long going for the Starship Pain.  Danielson avoids it and kills him with a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Danielson goes for the LeBell Lock, but fails.  Double cross body spot.  They trade strikes.  Morrison lands on his feet from a German suplex and hits a Frankensteiner.  Bryan rolls through for 2.  Cradle counter sequence.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock again.  Morrison counters and catapults him into the corner.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and the running knee strike for the pin in 7:22.  Really good little match.  King Sheamus comes out and cuts a promo about how he made Morrison because Morrison had to turn up his game to deal with Sheamus.  He promises to conquer “turdy-nine” other men at the Royal Rumble.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Next, Ziggler vs. Orton!

Slam of the Week: Randy Orton & Jerry Lawler defeating The Miz & Alex Riley last week.  Commercials.

Little Rock!

Stand Up For WWE.  This bullshit again?

The Bella Twins talk about how hot John Morrison is.  Then they argue over who’s going to Bryan’s “first.”  I knew he was a virgin.  They make a bet on who AmDrag will nail first.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream in her awful voice.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Randy Orton.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  They lock up.  Ziggler backs Orton into the corner and cheap shots him to get the advantage.  Orton hits an Austin-style Lou Thesz press with punches.  Orton explodes out of the corner with a clothesline and starts to put a beating on Ziggler.  Orton hits the Albert decapitator thing for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Ziggler rallies and dropkicks Orton’s knee for 2.  Ziggler goes to work on the knee, stomping on it and wrapping it around the ring post.  Orton rallies and beats up Ziggler some.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 2.  They trade blows.  Orton hits the 3.0.  Orton side steps Ziggler, who crashes into the corner.  Orton makes his comeback.  Ziggler slips out of the DDT OF MURDER and takes out Orton’s knee.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Orton goes for the Angle Slam, but Ziggler slips out and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Orton manages to get a rope break.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Orton holds onto the top rope.  Orton his the RKO for the pin in 8:28.  Good match.  The Miz and Alex Riley immediately jump Orton.  Miz throws Orton into the steps, then tears up the announce table.  Lawler confronts him and decks Riley.  Miz throws Lawler over the barricade.  Orton tries to fight back.  Miz kicks his injured knee, then rams his back into the post, then they through him through a gimmicked part of the barricade.  How dastardly!  Miz creepily says his catchphrase.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^^ happened.

CM Punk lectures The New Nexus about faith.

Eve Torres and Melina have joined Cole for commentary.

Non-Title: Maryse vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya.  They face off.  Maryse slaps Natalya.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter.  Maryse gets away, then hits some weird face plant for 1.  Melina applies a chin lock.  Shit goes on.  Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 1:39.  At least that’s over.  Maryse screams at Cole for some reason.  Eve shoves her and leaves.  Maryse screams some more.  Ted Dibiase Jr. shows up.  Maryse yells at him.  Dibiase says he’ll win the Royal Rumble.  Well that’s just silly.  He challenges anyone to an over the top rope challenge.  Commercials.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Mark Henry.  Dibiase attacks.  Henry rallies and squashes him in the corner.  Dibiase lands a dropkick.  Henry throws him out of the ring for the win in 27 seconds.  Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, and William Regal hit the ring.  Henry tosses Yoshi quickly.  Regal and Kidd beat down Henry.  They are quickly joined by Zack Ryder, Primo, David Hart Smith, Darren Young, and R-Truth.  Everybody brawls in an unsanctioned Battle Royal.  Sheamus joins the fight and eliminates everyone but Henry.  Lawler rejoins Cole on commentary.  Henry eliminates Sheamus to win a moral victory.  Alberto Del Rio comes out and cuts a promo about how it’s his destiny to win the Rumble.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Commercials.

There’s a stupid vignette with Derrick Bateman trying to sell Mark Henry’s body odor.  Yes.

Cole and Lawler bicker, then we get the awesome annual Rumble “By The Numbers” video!

Hype for the Rumble title matches.

Cole announces next week’s main event, Edge vs. The Miz in a champion vs. champion match.

John Cena gives some guy a DVD and some instructions.  He’ll face Punk NEXT!  Commercials.

CM Punk comes out with the New Nexus.  He stares at them.  They salute him, then leave.  I guess this was to show how creepy Punk is.  They show the initiations from last week.

CM Punk vs. John Cena.  They stare at each other.  Cena beats up Punk.  Punk lands a stiff kick to Punk’s shoulder, the baseball slide dropkicks him out of the ring.  Commercials.  This late in the show?  That’s weird.  Punk has Cena in a figure-four headlock.  Cena stands up.  Punk slips off and hits a DDT for 2.  Punk keeps the heat going on Cena.  Cena makes his comeback.  Punk counters out of the Attitude Adjusment and lands a dropkick for 2.  Punk hits the knee to the corner and the bulldog for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Double clothesline spot.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Punk gets out and lands a high kick to the head.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk counters the AA again and hits a Complete Shot, then locks in a Koji Clutch like hold that is incorrectly called the Anaconda Vice.  Cena fights his way to a rope break.  Cena rolls to the apron.  Punk boots him to the floor.  Punk goes for a slingshot dive.  Cena catches him, rams him into the post, and sets him back in the ring.  Cena goes to the top rope.  Punk cuts him off and tries to set something up.  Cena headbutts Punk to the mat and hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Some big dude (Mason Ryan) appears to distract Cena.  Punk kicks Cena in the head.  Punk spears his arm wide and smiles.  Big dude gives him a boot the face, so Punk wins by DQ in 15:42.  Okay match.  Ryan gives Cena a side Rock Bottom.  Otunga, McGillicutty, and Harris come out to protect Punk.  Ryan gets down on one knee.  Punk gives him a Nexus armband.  New Nexus all raise their arms as the show ends.

Pretty good show.

WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, & Chairs 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Houston, Texas!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts will presumably be taking turns playing ring announcer.

Triple Threat Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger.  Three-way brawl to start.  Crowd chants “KOFI!”  Ziggler is the first to climb for the belt while the other 2 guys are outside.  Kofi and Swagger come back in and push the ladder over.  Kofi and Swagger brawl a bit.  Swagger is sent outside.  Ziggler brings in another ladder to hit Kofi with.  It’s much shorter than the original ladder.  Ziggler makes a ladder bridge in the corner and throws Kofi onto it, then hits a neckbreaker off of it.  Swagger comes back in, wrist taped from an earlier spot with Kofi, and gives Ziggler the decapitator into the ladder.  Kofi springboards and kicks Swagger through the ladder.  Wacky stuff happens.  Ziggler hits a Fameasser on Kofi onto the ladder, which Swagger is under.  Cool spot.  Vickie Guerrero gets in the ring while everybody else is outside.  Vickie decides to climb the ladder.  Kofi climbs up the other side.  Vickie keeps climbing anyway.  Kofi teases pushing the ladder over.  Ziggler begs him to stop.  Swagger hits Kofi with a ladder.  Vickie climbs down, screams, and bails.  Swagger throws the small ladder at Ziggler.  Kofi sends Swagger outside.  Ziggler takes Kofi and himself outside.  Back inside, Swagger locks Kofi in the ankle lock.  Kofi tries to climb the ladder.  Ziggler climbs over him and tries to take down the belt.  Swagger tries to climb over Kofi.  Kofi knocks him down.  Kofi and Ziggler fight atop the ladder.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper on top of the ladder!  Kofi breaks free and knocks Ziggler to the mat.  Swagger climbs up and fights with Kofi.  They get the belt down, but drop it to the mat.  Ziggler grabs it and is declared the winner in 8:57.  Awesome match.  The finish sounded stupid on paper, but it was well executed.

Lawler blames Cole for encouraging people to interfere in Ladder matches.

Houston!

Wade Barrett gives Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Husky Harris, and Michael McGillicutty a pep talk in the Nexus locker room.  David Otunga is out from being completely massacred on Raw.

Tables Match: Michelle McCool & Layla vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya & Beth Phoenix.  They brawl.  Phoenix and Natalya hit slams, then bring in the painted pink table from Smackdown.  Phoenix gets both of LayCool on her shoulders.  They escape, but get clotheslined.  McCool gets knocked off the apron, but overshoots a ringside table.  LayCool get the advantage and beat up Beth and Nattie.  Beth takes a nasty bump out the ring.  LayCool bring in another table and work over Natalya.  McCool goes for a top rope Styles Clash.  Beth revives and makes the save.  Beth goes for a press slam, but McCool escapes.  LayCool make a comeback.  Layla sends Natalya out of the ring.  Layla tries to suplex Phoenix through a table, but fails because she’s weak.  Natalya comes back in.  They go for a double press slam, but McCool saves.  Natalya goes for a catapult on McCool, but Layla saves.  Natalya puts both of them in the Sharpshooter!  She holds them as Beth sets up the special table.  Beth and Natalya get psyched up, but LayCool rally.  They send Beth outside and double team Natalya.  LayCool go for a double superplex on Natalya, but Phoenix makies the save.  Layla rams her into the post.  They go for the superplex again.  Natalya pushes them both off onto the table, but they’re so skinny the table doesn’t break.  Natalya comes off the top with a splash through the table to win it in 9:24.  Really good match.  Best women’s match I’ve seen in a long time.

Lots and lots of WWE on USA this week!

World Heavyweight Champion Kane cuts an awesome Christmas promo backstage, then tears up some presents and a Christmas tree.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov come out.  Santino cuts a hilarious promo.  He says that TLC stands for “Totally Lethal Cobra.”  Love this promo.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Santino Marella & Valdimir Kozlov (c) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Nexus (w/ Michael McGillcutty & Husky Harris).  Gabriel and Santino start with a great sequence.  Santino drops Gabriel with an elbow smash.  Slater tags in and gets schooled by Santino.  They have a good exchange too.  Slater gets the advantage and works over Santino.  Crowd chants “Wendy!” at Slater.  Santino frightens Slater by threatening the Cobra, then tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov beats up Slater and sends him out of the ring with a fall away slam.  Kozlov goes outside and rams Slater into the apron.  Harris chop blocks Kozlov’s leg behind the referee’s back.  Nexus get the heat on Kozlov.  Kozlov sends Slater flying with a battering ram headbutt and makes the hot tag.  Santino runs wild on Gabriel and goes for the Cobra.  McGillicutty attacks Santino to cause the DQ in 6:28.  Really fun match.  The Nexus beat the hell out of Santino and Kozlov.  Wade Barrett comes out with a chair and beats the tag champs with it.  Those bastards!

Please, don’t try this at home!

Smackdown vs. Raw 2011!

Moments ago, The Nexus beat up Santino & Kozlov!

Ladder Match to determine the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship: Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  Sheamus is still wearing his kingly regalia.  They lock up.  King Sheamus gets a side headlock takeover and lands a shoulder block.  They lock up again and tumble out of the ring together.  Sheamus sends Morrison into the barricade, then makes a ladder bridge between the apron and the announce table.  He whips Morrison, who slides under the ladder.  Morrison beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus rallies and throws Morrison into the crowd.  Morrison comes off the barricade with a clothesline.  Back in the ring, the fight with a ladder.  Morrison comes off the top rope, leaps OVER the ladder, and hits Sheamus with a corkscrew elbow smash.  Morrison sets up the ladder in a way that he wouldn’t be able to get the contract anyway.  Sheamus traps him the tree of woe on the ladder, then pushes the ladder over onto him, presumably as punishment for his stupidity.  Sheamus works Morrison’s knee, which was injured in the fall.  Sheamus uses the ladder brilliantly to destroy the shit out of Morrison’s knee.  Sheamus finally climbs the ladder.  Morrison throws another ladder at him to knock him down.  Awesome.  Sheamus seems to take offense to the fact that Morrison is still fighting, so he destroys the shit out of Morrison’s knee some more.  Morrison hits a drop toe hold, sending Sheamus crashing into the ladder that he was holding.  Morrison drops Sheamus with a head kick.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker.  They bring in new ladders.  LADDER FIGHT!  Morrison wins.  Awesome.  He sets up a ladder bridge in the corner.  Morrison gives Sheamus an atomic drop onto a ladder, then sends him outside.  Morrison throws the ladder outside onto Sheamus.  Morrison sets up the ladder that he had used to make the bridge that was never used.  He climbs the ladder as best he can with one leg.  Sheamus comes back in and delivers the brogue kick to the injured knee!  Sheamus throws Morrison outside  and climbs the ladder.  The contract is too far away.  Morrison hobbles up the ladder and knocks Sheamus down.  Sheamus pulls Morrison off the ladder and goes for a powerbomb, but Morrison sends him out of the ring with a headscissors!  Morrison hops up the ladder.  Sheamus comes back in and pushes the ladder over.  Sheamus goes for a move, but Morrison slips out.  Sheamus back body drops him out of the ring.  Morrison narrowly avoids the ladder bridge.  Morrison makes it back up and tries to fucking superplex Sheamus off the in-ring ladder.  Sheamus fights him off.  They fight on the ladder.  Sheamus ends up taking the bump out of the ring THROUGH the ladder bridge.  Morrison comes back in and climbs the ladder.  Sheamus struggles his way back into the ring and tries to push the ladder over.  Morrison catches the rope with his foot, tips the ladder back over and drops Sheamus with a kick.  Morrison hops up the ladder and takes down the contract to win it in 19:08.  Fucking great match.  I love that Morrison never stopped selling the injured knee.

Buy crappy WWE movies for Christmas!

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Champion The Miz.  He has Alex Riley bring him the belt in a briefcase for some reason.

Todd Grisham tries to interview Wade Barrett, but Husky Harris won’t let him.  They go into the locker room and find that Gabriel, Slater, and McGillicutty have been beaten up.

Tables Match for the WWE Championship: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Randy Orton.  They show the night Miz back door’d his way into the title.  Orton beats up Miz to start.  If it’s a Tables Match, why isn’t Riley openly interfering?  Riley pulls Miz out of the corner to help him avoid Orton.  The referee bitches at him, but what the hell is he going to do about it?  Orton throws Miz out of the ring and pulls out a table from under the ring.  Orton beats up Miz.  Riley puts the table back under the ring.  Orton suplexes Miz on the floor.  Orton tries to bring in the table again, but Miz kicks it into his face.  They finally get the table set up.  Orton goes for a powerslam off the steps.  Miz slips out and trips Orton, sending Orton’s face into the steps.  Miz hits Orton with the steps and sets up another table.  The table collapses when Miz puts Orton on it.  Miz sets it back up and checks its sturdiness.  He puts Orton on the table and goes to the top rope.  Orton gets off the table.  Miz goes after him and gets his ass kicked.  Miz fights back and takes Orton back inside.  Miz hits the corner clothesline.  Orton hits an Angle Slam.  Orton throws a table on top of Miz.  You’ve got it backwards, Randy.  Orton hits a superplex, but Riley moves the table out of the way and takes it out of the ring.  They trade punches.  Orton hits some clotheslines and a powerslam.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER.  Riley tries to attack Orton on the outside, but gets clotheslined.  Orton brings a table back into the ring.  Orton hits the 3.0 and humps the mat.  He sets up a powerbomb.  Riley distracts Orton.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale.  Orton pushes him off and bumps the ref.  Orton RKOs Riley and powerbombs him through the table.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Orton, then moves Riley and puts Orton in the broken table.  Miz revives the referee, who awards him the match in 13:00.  Awesome finish.  But wait!  The referee sees the replay and orders the match to CONTINUE!  A pissed off Orton beats the shit out of Miz.  Orton throws Miz back into the ring and gets on the apron.  Miz throws Riley into Orton, sending Orton crashing through a table.  Miz wins for real in 15:16.  Good match.  I love both of the finishes.

Royal Rumble hype.

Rosa Mendez admires Alberto Del Rio’s car.  They speak Spanish to each other.  Edge jumps in the back seat.  Del Rio says he doesn’t care of Edge abducts his ring announcer.  Edge puts over his experience in TLC matches.

Houston!

Tony Chimel does a poor job of explaining a TLC match.  Rey Mysterio is rocking a Gene Simmons mask tonight.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Fatal Four-Way Tables, Ladders, & Chairs Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Kane (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge.  Kane and Del Rio attack their respective rivals.  Kane and Edge brawl outside while Del Rio and Mysterio brawl in the ring.  Mysterio sends Del Rio into the turnbuckle with a flying headscissors, then hits a sliding dropkick.  Kane and Edge knock each other down on the outside.  Striker says some factually incorrect things.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Del Rio pushes it over.  Mysterio takes advantage of the opportunity to take out Kane and Edge on the way down.  Del Rio climbs the ladder.  Mysterio brings in another ladder.  Del Rio cuts him off with a kick.  Mysterio gives Del Rio a drop toe hold into a ladder.  Mysterio climbs the vertical ladder.  Del Rio grabs his leg and throws him at the corner ladder.  Mysterio saves himself and hits Del Rio with a seated senton using the ladder.  Kane and Edge make it into the ring and brawl.  Kane throws a ladder at Mysterio and Del Rio on the outside, then tries to chokeslam Edge.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge brings in a tall ladder.  Kane sets a ladder on the apron.  Edge hits him with a baseball slide dropkick into the ladder.  Edge sets up a table on the outside.  Kane rams Edge’s head into the announce table, throws him over the barricade, boots Del Rio in the face, and punches Mysterio.  Kane is on a rampage!  Kane tries to set up a table and breaks the legs off.  He punches Mysterio again in frustration and stomps Del Rio in frustration.  Kane goes for a double chokeslam through the table on Mysterio and Del Rio, but Edge prevents it.  All 3 opponents gang up on Kane, then Edge and Mysterio turn on Del Rio.  Kane rallies and kicks everyone’s ass.  Edge sends Kane into the post.  Edge and Mysterio put Kane on a table at ringside.  Edge comes off of the ladder in the ring and splashes Kane through the table.  Mysterio and Del Rio fight in the ring.  Del Rio lands an enzuigiri.  Del Rio tries to use a chair.  Mysterio gives him a drop toe hold and goes for the 619.  Edge spears Mysterio and Del Rio in quick succession.  Edge climbs the ladder.  Kane comes back in and pushes it over.  Edge crotches himself on the top rope.  Del Rio and Mysterio clothesline Kane out of the ring.  Kane pulls them both out and kicks their asses.  Kane hits everyone with a chair.  Everyone is on the stage now.  Del Rio hits Kane with an enzuigiri.  Edge follows with a spear on Kane.  Mysterio climbs the prop tables hanging from the set and gives Kane the seated senton.  Mysterio runs down the ring and tries to set up the tall ladder.  Del Rio makes it back to the ring to cut him off.  Edge makes it back too.  Mysterio hits Del Rio with the 619.  He tries to deliver one to Edge, but Edge holds up a chair that catches Mysterio’s legs.  Edge and Del Rio climb the ladder.  Mysterio sets up a shorter ladder next to them and climbs up,.  He knocks Del Rio off and switches over to the tall ladder.  Edge and Mysterio fight at the top of the ladder.  They both crash to the mat.  Ricardo tries to revive Del Rio, then says “fuck it” and climbs the ladder himself.  Kane has made it back to the ring.  Ricardo begs off, but Kane chokeslams him off the ladder.  Kane chokeslams Del Rio, then chokeslams Edge off the apron through a table.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold onto a chair, then gives Kane the 619, then knocks him out of the ring with a chair shot.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Del Rio comes in and pulls him down.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special and tortures Rey’s arm.  Rey taps, but it doesn’t count.  Del Rio climbs the ladder and touches the belt.  Mysterio pushes the ladder over.  Del Rio takes a crazy bump off the ladder through a ringside table.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Kane comes back to life.  Mysterio tries a springboard moonsault, but Kane catches him and hits the Tombstone Piledriver!  Kane laughs.  He has a cut on his head.  I hope they don’t stomp the match to tend to it like morons.  Kane climbs the ladder.  Edge comes back in and its him with a chair a bunch.  Edge spears Kane off the apron and Kane crashes through a table.  Edge climbs the ladder and takes down the belt to become a 10-time World Champion in 22:44.  Crazy fun match.

Lots of USA on WWE this week!

National Guard rules!

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out in a suit and bashes the crowd for being fat.  The Big Santa and the Bella Twins come out and throw out gifts.  Rhodes makes fun of him walking around in his underwear in Knucklehead.  Show plugs the DVD and tells Rhodes to stop being such an uptight jerk.  Rhodes bitches about not being in movies.  Show offers him a role in Knucklehead 2 and touches his suit.  Rhodes throws a fit about the latter.  Show gives him a spinebuster and rips his suit off.

WWEShop.com.

Wade Barrett and Husky Harris walk backstage.  Harris walks through a door way and is hit by a chair.  John Cena says “That’s everybody.  See you out there!”

TLC song!  It sucks.  You can download the suckitude on iTunes.

Houston!

CM Punk comes out to replace Striker on commentary for the main event.  He should have done that before the first match.

Chair Match: Wade Barrett vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Barrett tries to bail, but Cena takes him over with a side headlock.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Barrett bails and goes for a chair.  Cena cuts him off and throws chairs away so Barrett can’t get them.  Barrett drops him with a punch and gets his hands on a chair.  Barrett swings, missers, and hits the announce table, swings, misses, and hits the post, swings, misses, and hits the steps.  Cena bails into the ring, then bails again to grab a chair of his own.  CHAIR FIGHT!  They hit chairs, then drop them.  Lame.  Cena beats down Barrett, then sets up a chair and bulldogs Barrett into it.  Cover gets 2.  Cena swings a chair, but Barrett hides behind the referee.  They fight over the chair and throw it outside.  Barrett beats up Cena.  Barrett hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett drops Cena with a series of punches.  Outside, Barrett whips Cena into the steps.  Barrett swings a chair at Cena’s head, but Cena avoids it and crawls up the aisle.  Barrett follows and wallops him with a chair.  Barrett carries the steps halfway up the aisle, then wallops Cena across the back with another chair on the stage.  Barrett goes for something on the stage, but Cena back body drops him.  Cena disappears, then comes back with a rolling office chair.  He puts Barrett in the chair, pours water on him to wake him up, then rolls him down the ramp into the steps.  Awesome spot.  Barrett hits Cena in the gut with a chair and boots him in the head.  Barrett puts a chair around Cena’s neck and rams him into the post.  Ouch.  Back inside, Barrett works Cena’s neck with a chair.  Barrett sits on the chair on top of Cena.  Cena powers the chair up and pushes Barrett over.  Cena blocks the oncoming chair and goes for his comeback, but shoulder blocks a chair.  Barrett ties Cena up in the ropes and beats on him.  Barrett hits him in the gut and back with the chair.  Cena’s selling is so fucking great.  Cena fights out and hits the spinning suplex deal and the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Barrett slips out and hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett wedges a chair between the top and middle turnbuckles.  He tries to throw Cena into it, but Cena counters him.  He goes for the STF, but Barrett kicks him off into the chair.  Cover gets 2.  Barrett comes off the middle rope with a chair elbow drop, but Cena avoids it.  Cena gets the chair and wallops Barret with it in the gut and back.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser with the chair!  Cena sets up 6 open chairs facing each other and gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment onto the contraption.  Fucking ouch.  Cena gets the pin in 19:10.  Great match.

Cena decides he’s not done with Barrett just yet.  He follows Barrett up the ramp and whacks him with the chair some more.  Barrett tries to crawl away around the set.  Cena puts Barrett under a giant palette and pulls the prop chairs hanging from the set down onto it.  Great blow off to the feud.

Fantastic show.  Thumbs WAY up.  I highly recommend it.

WWE Royal Rumble 2009 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Opening video package highlights preview Royal Rumbles, then the Orton/McMahon angle from Raw last Monday.  Short version: Orton kicked Vince in the head.  Hard.

Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole say that the McMahon family hasn’t released any info about Mr. McMahon’s condition.  Orton will be reprimanded… later.

Castrol GTX presents the Royal Rumble!  The Road to WrestleMania begins tonight!

Fireworks, then Cole and Lawler welcome us to the Royal Rumble, LIVE from Detroit, Michigan!  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker then take over announcing duties for the opening match.

ECW Championship Match: Jack Swagger (c) vs. Matt Hardy.  That big silver belt still looks ridiculous on anyone not named Mark Henry.  We call the World title the “Big Gold Belt.”  Can we call this one the “Big Ugly Belt?”  Wow, in-ring introductions for the ECW Title match?  They lock up to start, then Matt starts throwing punches.  Swagger responds by initiating some mat wrestling.  As soon as Matt gets away, though, he goes back to brawling.  Swagger works on Hardy’s arm.  Striker says Swagger is the second youngest ECW Champion ever.  Who was the youngest?  I’ll have to look it up later.  My guess is Mikey Whipwreck.  Swagger hits a big belly to belly suplex for a near fall.  Striker is the new Jim Ross as far as random old school references.  Matt hits a moonsault(!) for a near fall.  Swagger throws Matt into the post and hits the Doctor Bomb to retain the title at 10:28.  Fine match, and thier TV match was pretty good too.  Swagger might be the first guy to have his PPV debut be a successful title defense.  Something else for me to research later!  That’s good, I’m going to have a lot of time to kill this evening.  Matt looks very upset.

Earlier tonight: Randy Orton arrived and all the midcarders snubbed him.  Now: a shot of Detroit to segway into Cole and Lawler being back on commentary for the next match.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Beth Phoenix (c) (w/ Santino Marella) vs. Melina.  I still can’t buy Melina as a smiling babyface.  She needs to hurry up and get done with this “I just came back from injury” babyface run and turn into a bitch again.  They do some stuff, and most of it looks sloppy.  Beth hits a running butt in the corner.  Beth puts Melina in a modified half crab-type move, then uses Melina’s foot to kick her in the head!  That’s nifty.  I guess Melina is too flexible for her own good.  Beth gorrila presses Melina.  Melina tries to counter out of it, but just falls.  Melina wins with a sunset flip-style cradle at 5:57 to win the title.  Bad match with one neat spot saving it from being a complete waste of time.

Michaels/JBL video package.  Oh yeah, that Cena character is somewhere in there too, but he’s not what’s important.  Backstage, JBL tells Shawn that if JBL wins the title tonight, Shawn will get all the money he’s owed and a spot in the Royal Rumble.  JBL leaves and Undertaker comes in.  Taker tells Shawn, “Sometimes, it’s hell to get to heaven.”  Okay.

WrestleMania 25, live on PPV April 5th!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. JBL (w/ Shawn Michaels).  JBL and Shawn come out without the limo.  Ironic, the one time the ramp looks like a street, JBL decides to walk down.  In-ring intros, then the referee gets a cheap thrill by feeling them up.  A minute and a half in, JBL bails to say something to Michaels.  Boring match.  These two have had like 500 matches, and only one of them was good.  Everyone, including me, is just waiting for Michaels to interfere.  10 minutes it, Cena gets JBL in the STF (no U anymore since WWE is kid friendly).  JBL escapes somehow, then hits the Clothesline From Hell for a near fall.  Cena goes for the move with which he goes for the victory, but JBL escapes, then there’s a ref bump.  Both men are down as Shawn gets in the ring.  Shawn superkicks JBL, then superkicks Cena.  Shawn puts JBL in top of Cena and leaves.  Another referee runs down to make the count, but Cena gets a shoulder up at two.  Cena goes for the victory and gets the win at 15:30.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.  It looks cool.

Ross and Tazz take over commentary for the WWE Title match.  Hardy/Edge video package.

WWE Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Edge (w/ Chavo Guerrero).  Jeff enters first, then Vickie Guerrero comes with her awful “Excuse me!” voice and tells Jeff that the match is No DQ.  Edge comes out with Chavo Guerrero as his second.  In-ring intros, the Jeff jumps Edge as soon as the bell rings.  Jeff tries to bring in a chair early, but Edge stops him, so Jeff just beats him up some more.  Edge ends up on the outside and Jeff dives off the apron onto him.  Edge gets back in the ring and Jeff tries to springboard, but Edge knocks him off thanks to a distraction from Chavo.  They do some more stuff, then Edge hugs Jeff on the mat.  Edge tries to bring chairs in the ring, but Jeff spears him off the apron, then hits a suicide dive.  Jeff hits a Twist of Fate on the ring apron.  Jeff pulls a ladder from under the ring and sets Edge up on one of the announce tables.  Jeff climbs up, but Chavo climbs up to stop him.  Chavo gets knocked off, then Jeff dives off the ladder and clotheslines him.  Jeff puts Chavo on the announce table, then dives off the ladder onto him!  That should take care of Chavo!  Back in the ring, Edge exposes the top turnbuckle!  Jeff blocks Edge’s attempt to ram his head into it and hits the Whisper In The Wind for a near fall.  Edge hits (I think) I reverse DDT for a near fall.  Jeff gets a near fall with an inside cradle.  Jeff finally takes the exposed turnbuckle face first.  Edge goes for the spear, but Jeff counters in mid move with the Twist of Fate.  Jeff goes up for the Swanton bomb.  Vickie comes out and tries to prevent it, but Jeff hits it anyway.  Vickie pulls the referee’s leg to stop the count.  Matt Hardy runs down with a chair and tosses Vickie in the ring.  Matt sets up Edge for a one man conchairto from Jeff, then double crosses him and nails his brother with the chair!  SWERVE!  Edge gets the pin and wins his 7th World Title in 3 years.  He’s never won one clean, either.  Anyway, match went about 20 minutes and was pretty good.  Edge and Vickie leave happy, then Matt leaves, then Jeff is helped out by the referees!

No Way Out, live of PPV February 15, with Elimination Chamber matches!

Todd Grisham interviews Randy Orton.  Orton says he doesn’t know what the repercussions of his kick will be, but as far as he knows, he’s still in the Rumble match.  Jericho steps in and says he approves of what Orton did.  Jericho thinks Orton is going to get fired tomorrow.  He wishes him good luck.

Royal Rumble “by the numbers” match video package.  It’s Rumble time!  Justin Roberts runs down the rules of the Rumble.  If we don’t all know how it works by now, we never well.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is the 2006 Royal Rumble winner, Rey Mysterio!  Ross and Lawler are back together to do commentary for the Rumble.  #2 is John Morrison.  This should be a good opening minute.  They take turns almost being eliminated.  #3 is Carlito.  Carlito spits apple in Morrison’s face.  Carlito hits a nice springboard moonsault on Morrison.  #4 is MVP, who gets a big babyface reaction.  Morrison hits his springboard kick on Carlito, then MVP hits the Drive By on Morrison.  #5 is Great Khali.  Khali destroys everyone.  #6 is Vladimir Kozlov.  He and Khali go right at it.  Kozlov eliminates Khali!  Kozlov dumps MVP as well.  He tries to eliminate Carlito, but Carlito saves himself and eats a Kozlov spinebuster, then Kozlov tosses him anyway.  Kozlov and Mysterio go at it.  #7 is Triple H, the 2002 Royal Rumble winner!!  Triple H goes straight for Kozlov, who he’s been having issues with.  Triple H gives Kozlov the crotch chop, then tosses him.  Morrison goes after Triple H, but gets a knee to the face.  #8 is Randy Orton!  Orton goes for the RKO on Triple H.  Triple H shoves him away and goes for the Pedigree, but eats Morrison’s springboard kick.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away on Orton, then the 619 on Morrison.  #9 is… Cryme Tyme.  Okay, they’ve got one spot between them so they flip a coin.  JTG wins the coin flip and heads to the ring.  Shad picks up the coin and sees that it was a two headed coin!  #10 is Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ awful new music).  Dibiase almost eliminates JTG and Morrison, but they both hold on and try to kick each other off of their hand holds.  Mysterio almost eliminates Orton.  #11 is Chris Jericho.  Jericho misses a Lionsault on Triple H.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Triple H prevents it, though.  #12 is Mike Knox (w/ beard).  Of course, he goes right after Mysterio first, then clocks JTG and Morrison for good measure.  #13 is The Miz.  The ring starting to fill up.  Ah, I see why.  Orton RKOs three guys, then gets Pedigreed.  Triple H tosses Morrison into Miz and they’re both eliminated.  #14 is Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Mysterio goes over the top, but uses Miz and Morrison as steps to get back in the ring.  Brilliant spot!  Finlay loves to fight, so he’s having a great time tonight.  #15 is Cody Rhodes (w/ awful music).  The three members of Legacy triple team Triple H, then Finlay.  Mysterio springboards off the ropes and Orton catches him in mid-air with the RKO!  #16 is The Undertaker!  Undertaker beats up everybody and tosses JTG.  Taker beats up Cody.  #17 is Goldust.  Goldust nails Dibiase, then smacks his little brother.  Goldust almost eliminates Cody, but Orton gives him the RKO.  At Orton’s direction, Cody eliminates Goldust.  #18 is CM PUNK!  He tries to do his springboard into the ring, but slips on the ropes.  Hey, those ropes are sweaty by this point!  Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Punk, but Punk counters and nails the Go 2 Sleep!  #19 is Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas).  Henry beats on Taker and others. #20 is Shelton Benjamin.  As Punk and Jericho fight on the top rope, Shelton jumps up and hits a double Paydirt!  Triple H almost eliminates Punk.  #21 is William Regal (w/ Layla)  He goes straight for Punk, who beat him for the Intercontinental Title last Monday.  Mysterio low bridges Mark Henry, leading to the World’s Strongest Man being eliminated.  #22 is Kofi Kingston.  Undertaker eliminates Benjamin.  Jericho is trying hard to eliminate Mysterio.  #23 is Kane.  Taker is bleeding.  He and Kane united to chokeslam Dibiase.  Kane chokeslams Kofi as well.  Punk eliminates Regal.  #24 is R-Truth.  #25 is ROB VAN DAM!  He looks out of shape and rusty, but he’s still super crazy over.  RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash on R-Truth, but doesn’t hit it as Triple H tries to stop him and RVD has to jump over.  #26 is The Brian Kendrick (w/ Ezekiel Jackson), who eliminates Kingston, but is promptly eliminated himself by Triple H.  #27 is Dolph Ziggler.  He introduces himself to Kane, who tosses him.  #28 is Santino Marella.  He lasts approximately two seconds before being clotheslined over the top rope and eliminated by Kane.  “I WASN’T READY!” he protests.  Santino is awesome.  #29 is winner of the 1988 Royal Rumble, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, to a big pop.  Hacksaw beats up everyone!  #30 is The Big Show!  Show and Undertaker go face to face, but Kane interjects himself and nails Show.  Duggan goes after Show and gets tossed for his trouble.  Duggan shockingly got a nice push in this Rumble and was crazy over.  Show press slams R-Truth out of the ring.  Undertaker tosses Cody, who holds on and saves himself.  Show fails three times to eliminate Punk, but finally nails him with the big punch and Punk falls off the apron to be eliminated.  Knox and Mysterio are eliminated.  Hornswoggle comes in and saves Finlay from getting chokeslammed by Kane.  Kane backdrops Finlay out of the ring to eliminate him.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Kane.  Orton hits his sick DDT on Triple H.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Orton, then gets eliminated by Jericho.  Jericho turns around into the Undertaker.  They go at it, then Taker eliminates Jericho.  Legacy eliminates Kane.  We’re down to six.  Triple H fight Shows as Legacy go after Undertaker.  Show chokeslams Triple H.  Undertaker chokeslams Orton, Dibiase, and Rhodes in turn.  Undertaker and Big Show trade punches.  Taker hits the big boot and sends Show out, but Show holds on too!  There’s WAY too much of that in this Rumble.  Orton tries to RKO Taker, but Taker shoves him away.  Undertaker and Show goozle each other on the apron.  Orton RKO’s Show, who falls to floor for the elimination.  Show pulls Taker off the apron to eliminate him.  Taker and Show brawl into the crowd.  Final four: Triple H and Legacy.  Triple H gets triple teamed.  He counters an RKO attempt and goes on the offensive.  He hits the knee facebuster on Cody and the spinebuster on Dibiase.  He Pedigrees Rhodes and tosses Dibiase.  He tosses Cody, but Orton bundles Triple H out from behind to win the Royal Rumble at 58:38.  Orton celebrates his ticket to WrestleMania!

Not the best Rumble PPV by any means, but Edge and Hardy had a good match, and the Rumble itself is always fun.

WWE ECW 1/13/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Hardy/Swagger hype video, then ECW open.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are our announcers.  Grisham puts this show over as one of the biggest ECW episodes in history.  DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox are dancing in the ring.

DJ Gabriel & Alicia Fox vs. Paul Burchill & Katie Lea.  The ladies start.  Fox hits some weak looking forearms.  At least she’s trying.  I’ve never seen her wrestle before, but she actually looks decent.  The men tag in and Burchill kicks ass.  Man, I miss Pirate Paul.  I’ve still got a piece of plastic pirate gold he threw out at a house show I went to March 2006.  Gabriel is pretty jacked, and Burchill still looks huge next to him.  Either Gabriel is a small guy or I’ve never noticed how big Burchill is.  Gabriel hits a diving European uppercut on Burchill to win at 3:01.  Not bad for what it was.

They show the awesome Austin Hall of Fame video from Raw again.

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy for the ECW Championship TONIGHT!  Commercial!

Royal Rumble Hype: World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. JBL (w/ Shawn Michaels).

Tommy Dreamer comes out in a suit.  There’s a sentence I never thought I would type.  Tommy is sad because he’s old.  He says if he doesn’t win the title by June 6, he’ll leave ECW.  Poor Tommy.

Another Jack Swagger video.  They’re trying like hell to put him over aren’t they?

Starrcade: The Essential Collection is available NOW!  I got the last copy my store had.

Tiffany and Ricky Ortiz are about to kiss when Hornswoggle runs in and causes a ruckus.  Finlay gives chase.

The Boogeyman vs. Sammy Savard.  Boogeyman wins in 59 seconds with the pumphandle slam.  At least it was short.  I saw Boogeyman and Booker T go 10 minutes at a house show once, and it wasn’t pretty.

Smackdown Rebound: Jeff Hardy and a paid actress his girlfriend had a car accident!

Matt Hardy is the ECW Champion, and Jack Swagger isn’t!  Enjoy it while you can, buddy.

Another plug for Kennedy’s movie.  I still don’t want to see it.

Mr. McMahon returns to Raw next week!  One of the video packages from Raw replays.  Among the people he fires are Kurt Angle and Mick Foley.  Burn, TNA, BURN!

ECW Championship Match: Matt Hardy (c) vs. Jack Swagger.  Boxing-style intros.  They sure are trying hard to make this feel like a big match.  Some fine wrestling to start.  Then a commercial.  Dammit.  Back from break, Swagger is in control, but Matt makes a comeback.  Swagger hits some forearms and sends Matt off the apron to the floor.  I hope Alicia Fox is watching and sees how to throw a proper forearm, because Swagger is throwing some good ones.  Another commercial.  Dammit.  Back again, Swagger is continuing to work over Matt’s arm so he can’t hit the Twist of Fate.  Swagger hits a superplex.  He tries for another, but Matt counters with a sunset flip powerbomb.  Matt gets a two count from that.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Swagger counters and hits a Belly-to-Belly.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Hardy hits a Russian leg sweep for another near fall.  Swagger hits a quick Vader bomb in the corner for a near fall, then goes back to the arm with a cross armbreaker.  Rope break gets Matt out of it.  Matt hits a reverse DDT for a near fall.  Swagger throws Hardy into the exposed turnbuckle and hits the Doctor Bomb to win the title at 18:42.  I think there was more commercial time than wrestling time, but what was shown was pretty good.