Archive for Ron Simmons

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/13/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Slammy Awards open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and CM Punk are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette comes out and acts like a croaky voiced spaz.  He’s presenting the Shocker of the Year award.  The candidates are The Miz cashing in Money In The Bank to win the WWE Championship, the original Nexus attack on John Cena, Paul Bearer turning on The Undertaker, and Randy Orton kicking Chris Jericho in the head.  Nexus win.  Wade Barrett coming out to accept the award gets a way more positive reaction than David Arquette’s presence.  Barrett talks about the ultimatum Nexus gave him: to either rehire John Cena, or face mutiny from the group he created.  He said he’ll decide later tonight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000, booking Barrett in a match right now against The Big Show.  Show takes Barrett’s Slammy!

Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show.  Barrett hides in the ropes, then bails.  Show finally gets hold of him after a minute and a half of fucking around.  He caves Barrett’s chest in with a the big chop.  Barrett pokes Show in the eye and beats on him.  Show finally collects himself and starts kicking Barrett’s ass on the outside.  Back inside, Barrett immediately bails, grabs his Slammy, and leaves.  Show wins by count-out in 3:41.  Well, there ya go.

Vote now for Superstar of the Year on WWE.com!  Commercials.

New Orleans!

Tonight, a Diva of the Year Battle Royal!

Kelly Kelly and Tyson Kidd (w/ Jackson Andrews) come out to present the Despicable Me Award.  Yes, they’re naming awards after kids’ movies now.  Kidd introduces is big dude and insults Kelly a bunch.  Kelly makes lame comebacks.  The nominees are Drew McIntyre being a dick to Teddy Long, Kane burying The Undertaker, Vince McMahon kicking Bret Hart in the balls, and CM Punk singing “Happy Birthday” to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.  CM Punk wins, and rightfully so.  Punk happily accepts his award.  He says he gets even with people that have wronged him and there’s someone backstage that he still has to get even with.

WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins) & Kofi Kingston vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) & Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  Entrances, then commercials, so the match is JIP.  I hate that shit.  Ziggler has Bryan grounded with a rear chin lock.  Bryan fights out.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Dibiase tags in briefly to beat up Bryan.  Ziggler come back in and hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  The heels make quick tags and keep the heat on Bryan.  Bryan and Dibiase do a double cross body spot.  Dibiase rolls out of the ring.  Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild on Ziggler.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and the Trouble In Paradise for the pin (3:07 shown).  Why couldn’t they have given these guys some time?

Tonight, Sheamus vs. John Morrison!  Right now, Superstar of the Year voting on WWE.com!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov come out to present the Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year Award.  They bicker, then make up.  The nominees are Mike Tyson punching out Chris Jericho, Pee Wee Herman annoying The Miz, me, and everyone else who watched, Wayne Brady getting RKO’d by Randy Orton, and William Shatner singing entrance themes.  “And the salami goes to…” Pee Wee Herman.  We get a pre-taped acceptance speech from Herman.  Ugh.

The Nexus meet backstage and bicker.  Commercials.

Mark Henry vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Henry goes for Rhodes while he’s in the ropes putting his mirror jacket away.  What’s the point of that?  Henry messes up Rhodes’ hair and face.  Rhodes sends Henry into the turnbuckles, then beats him up.  Henry makes his comeback.  Rhodes avoids him in the corner and hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Rhodes his a diving knee drop for the pin in 2:49.  Neat finish.

Up next, the Holy %&@*#! Move of the Year.  Yes, that’s exactly what it says.  Commercials.  The theme song for this show is awful.

Jerry Lawler and Vickie Guerrero present of the Holy Symbols Move of the Year Award.  Vickie is obnoxious.  The nominees are John Morrison’s dive off the stage onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz, Kofi Kingston’s Ladder Boom Drop on Drew McIntyre, John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment to Batista off of a car through the stage, and Randy Orton’s Shooting Star RKO to Evan Bourne.  John Cena wins.  I demand a recount!  Wade Barrett comes out to take the award.  He’s come to make his decision.  He demands that Cena comes to the ring.  Cena comes in through the crowd.  The rest of the Nexus come out and surround the ring.  Barrett rehires Cena, with 2 conditions: Cena faces Barrett in a Chair Match at the PPV and he faces David Otunga tonight.  Cena happily agrees to both.  Nexus attack Cena.  Barrett hits Cena with a chair.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

The announcers go over the Slammy Awards that have been awarded so far tonight.

David Arquette is back in a sequined suit, being a croaking spaz again.  He plugs some theater he’s starting.  The nominees for WWE Universe Fan Reaction of the Year are: Weird kid reacting to John Cena joining the Nexus, loser crying when Shawn Michaels’ career ended, dumbstruck moron with his hand on his head, and the Angry Miz Girl.  Angry Miz Girl wins.  Angry Miz Girl herself comes out to accept the award.  She tries to talk, but she’s a little girl, dude!  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz creeps it up, then steals her Slammy.  He goes to the ring with Riley and Arquette and cuts a promo.  iBooker dings in.  Cole announces that both Miz and Orton will face former World Champions tonight.  Miz’s opponent is Rey Mysterio!

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley & David Arquette) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Miz beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio ranas Miz to the floor and hits the seated senton off the apron.  Commercials.  Miz fights out of a double arm grab and hits a flying head scissors.  Miz fights the flippy bulldog and they end up botching up.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  Alberto Del Rio comes out to his music to distract Mysterio.  Miz sends Mysterio face first into the ring apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Miz beats up Mysterio some more.  Miz goes for a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits the seated senton.  Mysterio hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio rolls through a schoolboy and lands a head kick for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619 again.  Del Rio gets on the apron.  Miz accidentally knocks him off.  Mysterio gets a schoolboy for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619 again.  Riley distracts the referee.  Del Rio sneaks in and trips Mysterio.  Miz gets a half assed inside cradle for the pin in 7:02.  Overbooked mess.  Mysterio chases Del Rio out of the arena.  Miz and his posse celebrate the victory.  The iBooker dings in again.  Cole announces that tonight, Randy Orton will face Alex Riley & former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette.  Arquette is the only one that is excited by this prospect.

Tonight, Diva of the Year Battle Royal.  Next, John Morrison vs. Sheamus.  Commercials.

New Orleans!

Edge comes out to present the Oh Snap!  Meltdown of the Year Award.  Who the fuck names these awards?  What happened to stuff like, I don’t know, MATCH OF THE YEAR?  Edge says he needs  a co-presenter.  CHRISTIAN comes out!  So they’re friends again?  Christian still wants to kick Alberto Del Rio’s ass, so at least they remembered his storyline.  Nominees are: Big Show tearing up Jack Swagger’s stuff (shouldn’t Swagger be the nominee?), Alberto Del Rio injuring Rey Mysterio, Edge destroying the iBooker V1, and Batista quitting.  Some of those lead me to believe that these people don’t know what a meltdown is.  Edge wins.  Edge freaks out and bitches about the iBooker.  Christian plays the iBooker email tone on his iPhone as a joke.  Edge calls Michael Cole and tool.  I’m glad to see Christian, but this was stupid.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Sheamus beats the shit out of Morrison in the corner.  The referee breaks them up.  Morrison gets a takedown and beats on Sheamus.  THE FUCKING REFEREE GETS IN THE WAY AGAIN.  THE FUCKING RETARDED REFEREE DQ’S BOTH OF THEM AT THE 33 SECOND MARK!  THE REFEREE FUCKING DISQUALIFIED THEM FOR HAVING A FUCKING MATCH.  iBooker dings in.  Cole announces Sheamus vs. John Morrison in a #1 Contender Ladder Match at the PPV.  They fight some more.  Sheamus KO’s Morrison and throws a temper tantrum.  Sheamus hits Morrison with a ladder, then throws him out of the ring onto the ladder.  Let’s remember what’s important here: THEY WERE DISQUALIFIED FOR FIGHTING!  THEY WERE IN A WRESTLING MATCH AGAINST EACH OTHER AND THEY WERE DISQUALIFIED FOR FIGHTING.

Later, Orton vs. two tards and Cena vs. another tard.  Commercials.

JTG and William Regal present the Knucklehead Moment of the Year Award.  Nominees are Big Show taking CM Punk’s mask off, Michelle McCool & Layla losing to Mae Young, Beth Phoenix eliminating Great Khali from the Royal Rumble, and Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov dancing.  LayCool win.  UGH, that means I have to hear them talk.  They’re happy about this.  Clusterfuck mess is next.  Commercials.

Divas of the Year Battle Royal featuring Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Maryse, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Rosa Mendez, Alicia Fox, Kaitlyn, Tamina, Gail Kim, Melina, Beth Phoenix, and WWE Divas Champion Natalya.  Everyone surrounds LayCool and beats the crap out of them.  Tamina eliminates Kaitlyn and Rosa Mendez in quick succession.  The Bella eliminate Tamina.  Eve eliminates one of the Bellas.  LayCool eliminate the other Bella.  Natalya eliminates Maryse.  Kelly tries to rana McCool out of the ring, but ends up getting eliminated herself.  Phoenix Glam Slams Melina into the top rope and eliminates her.  Phoenix eliminates Layla.  Layla throws a fit and tries to eliminate Phoenix.  McCool eliminates Phoenix thanks to the distraction.  Natalya eliminates Gail and Fox.  McCool eliminates Natalya to win it in 3:26.  Fucking ugh.  iBooker dings in YET AGAIN.  Cole announces LayCool vs. Natalya & Beth Phoenix in a Tables Match for the PPV.  I have no idea when or where Eve was eliminated.

Edge is headed our way.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind features the WORST STORYLINE EVER, the Edge/Kane/Paul Bearer love triangle.

Edge vs. Jack Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger hits a belly to belly, then rolls Edge tot he ropes and stomps on him, just to make sure the referee will get in the way.  Swagger then chokes Edge against the ropes, to make sure it will get broken.  Swagger whips Edge into the corner, then pushes him towards the ropes some more.  Edge fights back.  Swagger hits a gut buster.  Eventual cover gets 2.  Swagger applies an arm hold.  Edge fights out.  Swagger boots him in the face for 2.  Edge makes his comeback.  Weird face drop thing gets 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger goes for the Vader Bomb.  Edge gets his knees up.  Swagger gets the ankle lock.  Edge gets a cradle for 2.  Edge counters the Doctor Bomb and hits the Edgecution.  Edge hits the spear for the pin in 4:45.  This wasn’t any good.  Following the awesome Edgecution with Edge’s shitty spear is most backwards finishing sequence since the Rock Bottom —> People’s Elbow.

Alex Riley whines to The Miz backstage.  David Arquette comes in being a spaz.  Riley is worried.  Miz wants to put Randy Orton through a table.  Commercials.

Amin Okar won some video game contest.

The Big Show comes out to present the Moment of the Year Award.  The nominees are John Cena being fired because of his own idiocy, Sheamus hitting Triple H from behind with a lead pipe before Triple H could profess his love for Shawn Michaels, Edge spearing Chris Jericho off the announce tables at WrestleMania, and Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania.  Undertaker vs. Michaels wins.  We get a pre-taped acceptance speech from Michaels.

Tonight, Cena vs. Otunga.  Next, Orton vs. the Miz tard and the former WCW World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.  The music for this show really is awful.  Commercials.

Handicap Match: Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley & David Arquette (w/ WWE Champion The Miz).  Orton beats up Riley.  Riley knocks down Orton and tags in Arquette.  Orton recovers, kicks him, and Arquette falls over.  Orton humps the mat.  Arquette tags out and bails.  Orton hits the 3.0 on Riley.  Riley avoids a knee drop and hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Riley hits a knee lift, then beats up Orton in the corner.  Arquette chokes Orton behind the referee’s back.  Orton breaks free and beats up Riley.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for the 2nd week in a row, then humps the mat and hits the RKO on Riley for the pin in 3:20.  Miz immediately comes in and hits Orton with the briefcase that he’s still carrying around to hit people with.  Miz and Arquette set up a table.  They go for a double suplex, but Orton blocks it and fights back.  Miz bails.  Orton powerbombs Arquette through the table.  YAY!

Tonight, Cena vs. Otunga.  Commercials.

New Orleans.

TLC hype.

Michael Cole presents the “And I Quote…” Line of the Year Award.  The nominees are Santino Marella’s tea party, Miz talking to Bret Hart, Triple H saying CM Punk looks like a crack head, John Cena calling Heath Slater “Wendy,” Edge arguing with the iBooker, The mom from Legendary wanting her son back, Kane wanting his father back, Batista bitching about duct tape, Dusty Rhodes raising weird kids, Vince McMahon deserving to screw Bret Hart, Stephanie McMahon dreaming, Chris Jericho calling Michael Cole an idiot, Titus O’Neil talking about fighting and winning, Eli Cottonwood on mustaches, Eve insulting Miz, Mike Tyson threatening Hornswoggle, Randy Orton talking about RKOing his grandmother, Edge saying “spear” a bunch, Jack Swagger’s eagle’s medical insurance, CM Punk bitching, Mae Young swearing, Michael Cole fucking up his lines, Triple H saying something, and Ron Simmons saying “DAMN!”  Man, that was a lot.  Cole announces himself as the winner.  Ugh.

Superstar of the Year is next.  Commercials.

Teddy Long comes out to present the Superstar of the Year Award.  Nominees are Edge, The Miz, Kane, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and Randy Orton.  John Cena wins.  Cena makes his acceptance speech.  He promises to hurt Otunga tonight and “destroy” Barrett at the PPV.  Cena goes to the ring for the match.  Nexus come out.  They show the beat down from earlier tonight.  Otunga heads to the ring.  The rest of Nexus leave.

John Cena vs. David Otunga.  Cena brings Otunga into the ring and kicks his ass.  Otunga finally avoids a shot in the corner and beats on Cena a bit.  Shouldn’t he be DQ’d for that?  Otunga hits a Pounce-style elbow smash for 2.  Cena hits a drop toe hold into the STF for the win in 1:44.  Barrett comes back out the stage.  Cena brings in a chair and beats Otunga with it.

This show was a huge, horrible, miserable, steaming, stinking pile of shit.

WWE Monday Night Raw 11/15/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

The recognized symbol of excellence in sports entertainment!  Awesome Raw open with current starts in an old style open.  Pyro and ballyhoo!  Old school logos, sirens, etc.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers and are in old school attire.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Mean Gene Okerlund comes out to the old school interview podium.  He introduces “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr.  He starts to introduce Randy, but Bob says he’s not there yet.  Okerlund interviews Orton about his son’s chances at Survivor Series.  He says something I didn’t catch that angers the crowd.  Wade Barrett comes out and chastises him about being old and whatnot.  The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz talks about being a dick last week and his Money In The Bank privilege.  He says he might cash in tonight and fuck up the Survivor Series main event, somehow forcing Cena to stay in Nexus forever.  John Cena appears on the screen and tells Miz that he’s not going to allow any such frivolities and challenges Miz to a match tonight.  Miz accepts.  Commercials.  This is fun, with the old school set and music and all.

WWE.com plug.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Mark Henry.  OLD SCHOOL INSET PROMOS DURING ENTRANCES!  Henry comes out to the Sexual Chocolate theme!  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Henry throws him out of the ring.  Blue ring apron, posts, and steps!  Red, white, and blue ring ropes!  Old school logos on the turnbuckle pads!  Referees wearing light blue shirts and bow ties!  This rules.  Henry beats up Ziggler.  Ziggler fails to apply the sleeper hold again.  Ziggler gets crotched on the top rope and falls to the floor.  Sexual Chocolate leers at Vickie, then press slams Ziggler back into the ring.  Ziggler dropkicks Henry’s knee and puts the boots to him.  Ziggler beats up Henry.  Henry hits a powerslam, but Ziggler gets a foot on the bottom rope.  Ziggler avoids getting squashed by a big splash and hits a Fameasser for 2.  Cole called it the Zig Zag because he’s mentally retarded.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pi… no, 2!  Amazingly, Cole didn’t call it the Fameasser.  Ziggler locks in a scissored sleeper and wins by referee stop in 4:27.  The environment made this way more fun to watch than it should have been.

The Hart Dynasty chat backstage about working through their problems.  They encounter Tony Atlas, who babbles about teaming with Rocky Johnson back in the day and rubs WD-40 onto his skin.  Hilarious.  Commercials.

Backstage, Tony Atlas is STILL rambling!  Yoshi Tatsu is listening, and feigns committing seppuku.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Nexus vs. The Hart Dynasty.  Smith and Slater start with a great wrestling exchange.  Gabriel throws some kicks, but Smith catches one and trips him.  Smith beats up Gabriel.  Smith hits ROLLING BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES for 2.  Slater saves.  Slater tags in.  Smith powerslams him and hits a leg drop for 2.  Smith goes for the running powerslam, but gets distracted by Gabriel.  Slater gets the advantage on Smith.  Nexus make quick tags and work Smith over.  Smith goes to tag in Kidd, but Kidd TURNS HEEL and kicks him in the head!  Gabriel hits the 450 splash on Smith for the pin in 3:05.  The Hart Dynasty has finally collapsed!

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews WWE Champion Randy Orton (w/ his dad, “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr.).  R-Truth interrupts to tell him about how Cena is going to fuck him on Sunday.  Orton says he’s going to kick Cena in the head tonight to keep that from happening.  Commercials.

Random note: I also love the old school shirts everyone is wearing tonight.

Old school WWEShop.com plug with Mean Gene plugging old school merchandise!

Justin Roberts introduces Howard Finkel, who will be doing ring announcing for at least the next match.  He’s still awesome.  He should be doing ring announcing full time!  He introduces The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Whippleman)!  They heel on the crowd and issue an open challenge to anyone from “the new school.”  ZEKE accepts!

The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Whippleman) vs. Ezekiel Jackson.  Zeke hits a shoulder block.  Brawler talks shit, shoves Zeke, and tries to slam him.  Zeke mauls him.  Zeke hits the Book of Ezekiel for the pin in 50 seconds.  Awesome!

Tonight, John Cena vs. The Miz!  Old school match graphics!  Commercials!

The 5 lesser members of The Nexus are backstage.  David Otunga says that somebody needs to deal with R-Truth.  He calls himself “leader,” which Barrett overhears.  Barrett tells Otunga that he’ll be the one facing R-Truth tonight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  Shouldn’t they use an old computer for this?  iBooker says Otunga already has a “special” match tonight, so Barrett will face R-Truth tonight.  Barrett is fine with this.  Harris says they have his back, but Barrett says he’ll handle this.  John Cena comes in to talk about whatever.  Barrett orders Harris and McGillicutty to have Cena’s back tonight.  Cena declines.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night, but it’s written OLD SCHOOL!

John Cena and The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) come out for their match.  They show Miz screwing Randy Orton in the 10-man tag last week.  Miz cuts a promo and sends Riley to fight in his stead.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley (w/ The Miz).  They lock up.  Cena hits a snap mare.  Cole babbles about not knowing what year it is.  Cena outclasses Riley some more.  Riley lands an elbow smash.  Miz decks Cena behind the referee’s back.  Riley pounds on Cena.  Cena fights back, but misses Riley in the corner and eats turnbuckle pads.  Riley beats up Cena some more.  Riley hits a move that we don’t see because the camera was focused on Miz for 2.  Retarded camera work in this match.  Cena makes his comeback.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, then locks in the STF for the win in 3:43.  It was fine.

Randy Orton runs out and brawls with Miz.  Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty jump Orton.  Orton kicks their asses.  Cena and Orton face off and brawl.  The old school referees and officials (including Tony Garea!) break them up.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker.  Ugh.  iBooker says that later tonight, Cena and Orton will be guests on Piper’s Pit!  Thank God we don’t have to suffer through another Orton/Cena match tonight.  Commercials!

The recognized symbol of excellence in sports entertainment!  They play that and the open again.  I don’t know why, and I don’t care.  It’s cool.

Cole and Lawler talk.

Howard Finkel introduces The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff!  Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem.  In 2010.  Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov come out.  Kozlov wants to sing the Soviet anthem with Volkoff!  They sing!  This rules!  Santino stops them because it’s awful.  He wants to sing his own song.  He brings out THE DOCTOR OF STYLE, SLICK!  SLICK COMES OUT TO JIVE SOUL BRO!  THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW EVER!  Sheik babbles incoherently.  I can’t believe they gave that man a live mic.  The Usos come out.  We’ve got a tag title #1 Contender match next.  In the Usos’ corner will be JIMMY “SUPERFLY” SNUKA!  Commercials.

WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka & Tamina).  JIP.  The Usos get the heat on Santino.  Santino hits Jey with a judo throw and gator rolls him to the corner.  Kozlov tags in and hits Jey with a fall away slam.  Santino tags in and hits a slam thingy for 2.  Kozlov tags back in and beats up Jey some more.  Jimmy blind tags in and takes out Kozlov’s leg.  Jimmy hits a jumping headbutt for 2.  Jimmy hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Jimmy works a rear chin lock.  Kozlov breaks free and knocks Jimmy across the ring with a battering ram headbutt.  Jey tags in and cuts Kozlov off from making the tag.  Santino gets knocked off the apron, then distracts the referee so his partner can get double teamed.  The Usos work over Kozlov.  Jimmy tries to knock Santino off again, but Santino decks him.  Kozlov makes the hot tag to Santino, who runs wild on Jimmy.  Confusion ensues.  Actually, I think that’s Jey getting run wild upon.  Santino hits the Cobra on Jey for the pin (about 5 1/2 minutes shown).  This wasn’t any good.

Sheamus runs in, drops Kozlov and the Usos, and goes after Santino.  Santino begs off.  John Morrison appears, low bridges Sheamus out of the ring, and knocks him off the apron with an enzuigiri.  Morrison says he keeps attacking Sheamus because Sheamus is a bully who will run away when confronted.  He challenges Sheamus to fight.  Sheamus does just as Morrison said he would and leaves.

Tonight, Piper’s Pit with Cena and Orton!  Commercials!

The Survivor Series song is some crappy song by some crappy band.

David Otunga vs. Kofi Kingston.  Inset promo from Kingston!  Kingston lands some leg kicks, then grabs a side headlock.  Otunga catches a cross body and slams Kingston.  Otunga slams Kingston again.  And again.  Cover gets 2.  Otunga grabs a headlock.  Kofi fights out.  Otunga hits what Cole calls an elbow but what looked to me like a back butt for 2.  Otunga grabs a chin lock.  Kofi fights back and starts his comeback.  Double clothesline spot.  George “The Animal” Steele comes out and teases eating the turnbuckle pad.  The referee stops him, so he eats one in a different corner.  Otunga is back on his feet and his like “WTF?”  Kofi gets up and rams his head into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 4:50.  Heh.

Gerald Brisco and Arn Anderson compliment John Morrison on dealing with Sheamus.  Sheamus hits Morrison with the pump kick out of nowhere and accepts his challenge for a match… at Survivor Series.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Aksana walks around backstage with the Million Dollar Championship.  “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan shows up to tell her that her mom is there.  Huh?  It’s Dusty Rhodes with a curly blond wig.  He has Kelly Kelly drop a net on her.  Goldust steals the Million Dollar belt back from her.  He returns the belt to it’s rightful owner, “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase.  Irwin R. Schyster promises to find him a good tax shelter.  Dibiase tries to give the belt back to his son, Ted Dibiase Jr., but Jr. doesn’t want it.  Cody Rhodes says “that ended far from dashing.”  Goldust and Cody walk away.  Dusty says “I raised some weird kids.”  They play Dusty’s “Common Man” theme.  Dusty, Tatanka, and Hacksaw dance. Ron Simmons sees this and says “DAMN!”  Funny stuff.

Earlier tonight, SHIT WENT DOWN between John Cena and Randy Orton.

R-Truth and Eve Torres are headed our way!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

“Promotional Consideration Paid For By The Following…”  R.D. Reynolds just WrestleCrapped his pants.

R-Truth (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Wade Barrett.  They brawl.  Truth flips around and hits the break dancing kick.  Truth clotheslines Barrett out of the ring and hits him with a somersault dive.  Back inside, Truth goes up top.  Barrett goes to cut him off.  Truth jumps over him, but Barrett catches Truth with a sidewalk slam.  Barrett his a suplex for 2.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett his a backbreaker for 2.  John Cena and Randy Orton are both show watching backstage.  Truth gets an inside cradle that we almost missed for 2.  Barrett applies a rear chin lock.  Truth makes his comeback and gets a fancy cradle for 2.  Truth hits a front suplex for 2.  Barrett avoids the scissors kick and goes for the Wasteland.  Truth counters, but gets booted in the face.  Barrett hits the Wasteland for the pin in 5:06.  It was fine.

Tonight, Cena and Orton on Piper’s Pit!  Commercials!

They play the opens again.

Cole and Lawler goof off.

Ricardo Rodriguez is here!  That’s 3 ring announcers tonight.  Tito Santana comes out to cut him off and introduces Alberto Del Rio himself!  Del Rio has Chavo Classic driving him!  Del Rio cuts a promo.  He wants the other legends to kiss his ass like Tito and Chavo.  Sergeant Slaughter comes out and cuts an awesome promo.  “Shut your hole, puke, and listen up!  There’s 2 things you don’t mess with: Legends and America!”  He challenges Del Rio to a match.  Del Rio accepts.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sergeant Slaughter.  Del Rio beats on Slaughter.  Slaughter locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Del Rio gets a rope break and elbows Sarge in the face.  Del Rio hits a clothesline for 2.  Del Rio applies a rear chin lock.  Slaughter fights out.  Del Rio beats him up some more.  Sarge locks in the Cobra Clutch again.  Del Rio backs him into the corner and breaks free, then whips Sarge into the corner and hits an enzuigiri for the pin in 1:54.  It was what it was.  Del Rio applies the cross armbreaker after the match.  MVP comes out and runs off Del Rio.

Mean Gene plugs WWE merchandise again.  Commercials.

Cole and Lawler talk.  Cole is being a dick,

WrestleMania tickets went on sale last weekend!

Mean Gene Okerlund brings out Mae Young!  She’s escorted by the Bella Twins.  Poor thing.  They show a really old black & white picture.  Mae was a babe in her day.  They show a video package on some of her exploits.  Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out to be obnoxious bitches and ruin a feel good moment.  Mae Young wants a match “with these sluts!”  She’s a feisty old gal!  “You little bitches, let’s go!”  LayCool laugh.  The bell rings.  This is a real match!  Falls count anywhere!

Handicap Falls Count Anywhere Match: Mae Young (w/ The Bella Twins) vs. Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla.  Natalya, Gail Kim, Melina, and Eve Torres come out and beat up LayCool.  Mae slaps Layla and pins her in 54 seconds!  Awesome!  Commercials!  That was AWESOME!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Howard Finkel introduces JIM ROSS to do commentary on the next match!  YAY!  Michael Cole is not happy about this.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger.  It’s so good to hear J.R. again.  Bryan and Swagger lock up.  Awesome grappling.  Danielson counters out of the ankle lock and lands a Mirko Cro Cop head kick.  Cole needs to shut the fuck up and let J.R. talk.  More awesome grappling on the mat.  Danielson leapfrogs Swagger and  lands a dropkick for 1.  Danielson back flips over Swagger and gets booted in the face.  Commercials.  Cole needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP RUINING THE MOMENT.  Jim Ross welcomes us back to Raw as Swagger has Bryan in a hold.  Cole is BEING A FUCKING IGNORANT PRICK AND NEEDS TO FUCK OFF AND DIE.  Swagger beats up Bryan.  Swagger gator rolls Bryan out of the ring and pounds him on the apron.  I’d give my right nut for the chance to punch Michael Cole in the face right now.  Bryan low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  COLE NEEDS TO FUCK OFF.  Danielson lands a baseball slide dropkick, then hits a flying knee off the apron!  STOP CUTTING TO COLE, YOU FUCKS!  Back inside, Danielson hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan kicks the crap out of Swagger.  Swagger catches his leg and goes for the ankle lock.  Bryan flips Swagger into the corner, then misses Swagger in the corner and hurts himself.  SHUT UP, COLE!  Swagger hits a Vader Bomb for 2.  Lawler finally tells Cole to “shut the hell up.”  Swagger hits another Vader Bomb.  He goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Danielson dead weights him and goes for the LeBell Lock.  Swagger counters into a backbreaker.  Danielson counters the Doctor Bomb again and lands the high kick for the pin in 10:44.  Awesome match that even Cole’s retardation couldn’t ruin.  Ted Dibiase Jr. appears and hits Bryan with the Dream Street, then poses with the United States title belt as his awful music plays.  Maryse comes out just so they can leave together.  Cole needs to fuck off and die.

Survivor Series hype.

J.R. slaps Cole with his cowboy hat!  YAY!

Orton and Cena are headed our way!  Commercials!

Promotional consideration paid for by the following!

Justin Roberts introduces the legends to the crowd: Jimmy Snuka, Bob Orton Jr., Irwin R. Schyster, Tito Santana, Sergeant Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Brooklyn Brawler, Chavo Classic, Mean Gene Okerlund, Howard Finkel, Mae Young, Gerald Brisco, Ted Dibiase, Slick, Tatanka, Tony Atlas, Arn Anderson, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes, George Steele, Jim Ross, The Iron Sheik, and Nikolai Volkoff.  That’s nice!  “Hey, here’s a bunch of our agents and other guys we’ve fired a bunch of times!” -My buddy mhirn.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper comes out to do Piper’s Pit!  He cuts a promo, then introduces John Cena.  Piper bitches at Cena about disrespecting legends by possibly giving Wade Barrett the WWE Championship this Sunday.  He urges Cena to do the ring thing.  Cena replies at length about his respect for the legends.  He says he’ll call the match right down the middle.  That means he’s going to screw someone.  Wade Barrett comes out and says that’s fine, because he doesn’t need help to win, but Cena is still fired if Barrett loses.  Piper bitches Barrett out in awesome crazy old man style.  Barrett bitches at Piper, then Cena.  He forces Cena to put on a Nexus t-shirt.  Why the hell is he just now doing that?  Cena puts the shirt on, then tells Barrett he’s going to turn his face into mush on Sunday.  Barrett says Nexus will kick Cena’s ass before he can hurt Barrett.  WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out, talks to Cena for a minute, then beats up Barrett.  Orton humps the mat.  Cena intervenes before Orton can hit the RKO or come or whatever he’s trying to do.  Orton RKOs Cena and goes for the PUNT OF DEATH.  Barrett cuts him off.  Cena avoids the punt and hits the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett orders Cena to raise his hand.  Cena gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment instead.  He takes off the Nexus shirt and throws it on Barrett.  Piper raises Cena’s hand to close the show.  Why isn’t Miz cashing in right now while the getting is good?

I don’t care if most of the wrestling sucked (I say “most” because Bryan vs. Swagger was awesome), this show ruled!

Starrcade: The Essential Collection Disc 1 (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

Originally posted on my old blog on 1/30/09.

Here’s another fine WWE Home Video release I got a few weeks ago that I’m finally going to try to watch some of.

There’s an okay 50 minute documentary before we get to the real selling point of the DVD: BONUS MATCHES!

“Mean” Gene Okerlund explains that we well be counting down the top 25 matches in Starrcade history, based on various factors.

#25
Starrcade, 12/29/96
Non-Title: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. WCW World Heavyweight Champion “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan (w/ Ted Dibiase, Vincent, & Miss Elizabeth).  Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Dusty Rhodes are on commentary.  Someone please drop me a PM and explain to me why the main event of the biggest show of the year has the World Champion in a non-title match.  Piper is ready to fight, but Hogan stalls.  They finally do some lame old guy brawling.  This match is slow and boring.  I’m sure they had good matches in the 80s when Hogan played face and Piper played heel, but 10 years later with the roles reversed, it doesn’t work.  Piper whips Hogan with a belt.  Piper hits the ropes and Dibiase grabs his foot.  Hogan attacks a scar on Piper’s hip.  Hogan utilizes an abdominal stretch, but Piper escapes.  Piper gets a near fall with an inside cradle.  More boring old man brawling, then Piper hits a suplex and covers.  Hogan gets a foot on the ropes.  Hogan misses the leg drop.  Piper attacks Hogan’s leg.  The Giant comes in and lifts Piper for the chokeslam.  A “fan” comes in the ring and goes after Hogan.  Security gets rid of him.  Piper gouges The Giant’s eyes to escape his predicament.  Piper gets the sleeper hold to win at 15:37.  The Outsiders hit the ring.  Piper fights them off and escapes an nWo beatdown.

Jim Ross explains the Iron Man Tournament from Starrcade 1989.  Ross introduces the next match, and explains that Muta only had one loss ever in the NWA prior to this match.

#24
Starrcade, 12/13/89
Non-Title, Iron Man Tournament Match: Sting vs. NWA World Television Champion Great Muta (w/ Gary Hart).  Jim Ross and Terry Funk are on commentary.  They exchange full nelsons to start.  They do some stuff.  Sting hits a suplex, then twists Muta’s arm and hits an atomic drop.  Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Lock early, but he’s too close to the ropes.  Muta bails and recieves encouragement from Hart.  Back in the ring, both men are cautious.  Muta hits a backdrop and the Shining elbow drop.  MUTA PUTS STING IN THE CATTLE MUTILATION!  Sting manages to get out of it.  Sting hits a press slam for a two count.  They fight some more.  Muta misses the moonsault but hits a big kick and goes up again.  Sting kicks him, causing Muta to crotch himself on the top rope.  Sting hits a superplex for the win at 8:41.  Okay match, but seeing that they both already had one match and both had another coming that night, they understandably held back some.  I need to see their Great American Bash ’89 match.

Ross introduces the next match and they show the angle that set it up.

#23
Starrcade, 12/28/92
WCW & NWA World Tag Team Championship Match: Ricky Steamboat & Shane Douglas (c) vs. Barry Windham & Brian Pillman.  Ross and Jesse Ventura are on commentary.  Douglas and Pillman start with a good exchange.  Douglas sends Pillman out to the ramp and Windham comes in.  Douglas and Steamboat double team him.  When the match straightens out again, Pillman tags in Windham.  Steamboat wants the tag, and Douglas obliges.  Steamboat dominates the exchange and tags Douglas back in.  Douglas and Steamboat basically take turns dominating Windham for a little while.  Windham finally hits a jawbreaker to escape a rear chin lock from Douglas and tags in Pillman.  A Douglas dropkick causes Pillman to take a spill out of the ring and hit the guardrail.  Pillman comes back in and dropkicks Douglas, who was on the top rope, and this time Douglas takes a spill to the outside.  The heels work over Douglas.  While the referee is busy dealing with Pillman, Steamboat wallops Windham with a chair.  Douglas tries to tag out, but Windham tags in Pillman first.  Pillman prevents the tag, so Douglas continutes to take the heat.  Douglas counters a suplex attempt from Windham and makes the hot tag to Steamboat.  Steamboat cleans house briefly until Windham gets the advantage on him.  Pillman throws Steamboat over the top rope, which in 1992 WCW was an automatic DQ, but the referee didn’t see it.  Pillman does a neat move on Steamboat.  Windham beats up Steamboat, but Steamboat starts fighting back.  Pillman tags in, and so does Douglas.  All four fight in the ring until Steamboat and Windham go outside, leaving the legal men in the ring.  Douglas hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Pillman to win the match at 20:02.  Good match.  It was probably even better in 1992.

Okerlund introduces the next match.

#22
Starrcade, 12/27/98
WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Bill Goldberg (c) vs. Kevin Nash.  Schiavone, Heenan, and Mike Tenay are on commentary.  I have this show on VHS, but I haven’t watched it in a while.  Goldberg is 173-0 at this point.  They excite the crowd with their taunts, then lock up.  Nash grabs a headlock, but Goldberg hits a backdrop suplex to counter it.  Nash makes my head explode by going for a cross armbreaker.  Goldberg goes for an ankle hold and my head reassembles itself, then explodes again.  Goldberg hits the spear and sets up for the Jackhammer, but Nash hits a low blow to get out of it.  Nash hits a big sidewalk slam for a near fall.  Nash stays in control until Goldberg hits a mule kick and starts fighting back.  Goldberg hits a Roll of the Dice and a double-arm suplex type thing.  Goldberg hits a kick to Nash’s head, similar to the one that would end Bret Hart’s career one year later at the same event.  Disco Inferno runs in and gets speared.  Bam Bam Bigelow attacks Goldberg from behind, but gets clotheslined over the top rope.  Scott Hall zaps Goldberg with a cattle prod.  Nash hits the Jackknife Powerbomb for the win at 11:20.  Nash wins the title and ends Goldberg’s streak.

Okerlund introduces the next match, the 1991 Battlebowl.  The winners of a series of random drawing tag team matches advance to a 2 ring battle royal.  The match starts in ring #1.  You are eliminated from ring #1 by being thrown into ring #2, then eliminated from the match if you are thrown out of ring #2.

#21
Starrcade, 12/29/91
BattleBowl Battle Royal featuring Vader, Marcus Alexander Bagwell, Jimmy Garvin, Dustin Rhodes, Bill Kazmaier, Jushin Thunder Liger, WCW World Television Champion, “Stunning” Steve Austin, Richard Morton, Todd Champion, Abdullah the Butcher, Firebreaker Chip, Thomas Rich, Ron Simmons, Ricky Steamboat, Mr. Hughes, Scott Steiner, WCW World Heavyweight Champion Lex Luger (w/ Harley Race), WCW United States Heavyweight Champion Rick Rude (w/ Paul E. Dangerously), Arn Anderson, and Sting.  Ross and Schiavone are on commentary.  There are a couple of spots early on where guys get thrown over the top rope onto the ramp, but you have to be thrown into the second ring.  Tommy Rich is the first man thrown into ring #2.  Young Bagwell is next into the second ring.  Rich beats him up.  Hughes sends Firebreaker chip over.  Morton and Liger end up in the second ring as well.  Liger finally has room to move and someone to work with and shows how awesome he is.  Liger eliminates Morton from he match, but goes out himself as well.  Mr. Hughes is thrown into ring #2.  Vader beats up Dustin Rhodes outside the ring.  Tommy Rich gets eliminated.  Simmons and Luger brawl on the ramp.  Garvin and Champion are in ring #2 now.  Garvin is eliminated.  Kazmaier, Abdullah, Austin, Rhodes, Simmons, Sting, and Rude are all in ring #2 now.  Vader and Luger are the only guys left in the first ring.  Firebreaker Chip is eliminated.  Luger clotheslines Vader out of ring #1.  He wins ring #1, or something.  Abdullah is eliminated.  Apparently Luger gets to rest in ring #1 until there is only one guy left in ring #2, then then those two will go at it.  Rhodes eliminates Anderson.  Rhodes, Simmons, and Hughes are eliminated.  Vader eliminates Bagwell, then I think Sting eliminates Vader.  Steiner was eliminated by someone.  Ring #2 is down to Austin, Steamboat, Sting, and Rude.  There’s a cool double Picture In Picture thing where you can see the match from three angles at once.  Austin is eliminated.  Rude tosses Steamboat, but Steamboat skins the cat and eliminates Rude.  Rude pulls Steamboat off and eliminates him as well.  Sting vs. Luger now.  Rude comes in and gives Sting the Rude Awakening.  Luger punishes Sting.  Sting fights off interference from Race.  Luger knocks Sting off the ramp and into the guardrail.  Sting makes a comeback and kicks Luger’s ass all over the ringside area.  They make it back in the ring.  Sting is FIRED UP!  Race comes in and takes a suplex from Sting.  Sting goes for the Stinger Splash on Luger, but Luger moves.  Luger throws Sting and thinks he’s won, but Sting holds on and comes back in to kick Luger’s ass some more.  Sting eliminates Luger to win the match at 25:09.  This was an odd concept.  I thought it was silly, and I’m a battle royal mark.

Tully Blanchard introduces the next match.

#20
Starrcade, 12/27/93
WCW United States Heavyweight Championship Match (2/3 Falls): Dustin Rhodes (c) vs. Steve Austin (w/ Colonel Robert Parker).  Schiavone and Ventura are on commentary.  Rhodes shines early.  Austin bails out to consult Parker for a moment.  Rhodes gets a backslide, but can’t hold on to it.  They brawl at ringside until Austin takes a spill into and over the guardrail.  Back in the ring, Austin wants to shake Dustin’s hand.  Dustin slugs him instead.  Austin uses underhanded tactics to get the advantage.  Dustin fights back and hits a sunset flip for a near fall.  Rhodes is DQ’d at 13:26, I guess for throwing Austin over the top rope.  The lights go wonky as the second fall begins.  Austin is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Dustin punches Austin in the corner, but Austin pushes him away and gets a quick pin at 16:16.  Okay match.

Wow, I made it through Disc 1 in one sitting!

NWA Clash of the Champions IV: Season’s Beatings

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

Awesome opening video with CANNONS!  Clash of the Champions open.

Chattanooga, Tennessee!  Jim Ross and Bob Caudle are the announcers.  Fucking Jason Hervey is ring announcer for the first match.  I hope he’s not on for the whole show.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship Tournament – Final: Eddie Gilbert & Ron Simmons vs. The Fantastics.  I didn’t hear an opening bell.  That’s annoying.  Tommy Young is the referee!  Simmons and Fulton shake hands a lock up.  Fulton tries to knock Simmons down and fails.  He finally knocks Simmons down with a dropkick.  Simmons misses a lariat, but hits a backbreaker.  Simmons press slams Fulton.  Rogers tags in and trades arm locks with Simmons.  Gilbert tags in and his a nice, fast paces exchange with Rogers.  Fulton tags in.  Gilbert gets a sunset flip for a near fall.  Fulton and Gilbert do some nice wrestling.  Gilbert looks to be getting agitated.  Fulton takes Gilbert down with a headlock.  Gilbert turns it into a headscissors.  Fulton turns back into a headlock.  Fulton gets an inside cradle for 2.  They shove each other, then shake hands again.  Fans boo that.  Simmons tags in and takes over for Gilbert, working Fulton’s arm.  Fulton gets an inside cradle for 2.  Simmons gets a schoolboy for 2.  Rogers misses a diving elbow drop and gets hit with a football tackle by Simmons.  Gilbert tags in and works Rogers’ arm.  Fulton gets the tag and works Gilbert’s arm.  Gilbert escapes with a fireman’s carry.  They’re starting to get aggressive with each other.  Simmons tags in and schoolboys Fulton for 2.  Simmons accidentally shoulder blocks the turnbuckle.  The Fantastics make quick tags and work Simmons’ shoulder.  Simmons escapes and tags in Gilbert.  Gilbert hits a neckbreaker on Rogers for 2.  Gilbert hits a suplex for 2.  Rogers suplexes Gilbert and makes the tag to Fulton.  Simmons tags in and slams Fulton.  Fulton avoids an elbow drop and hits a leg drop for 2.  Rogers tags in and hits a knee lift for 2.  Rogers hits an elbow smash and a jackknife hold for 2.  Simmons powers him into the corner and makes the tag to Gilbert.  Gilbert hits a backdrop suplex on Rogers for 2.  Simmons tags in and works Rogers’ arm.  Rogers avoids Simmons in the corner, then tags in Fulton.  Fulton goes for a diving cross body, but Simmons catches him mid-air with a powerslam.  Gilbert tags in and gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Fulton kicks Gilbert off into the post.  Gilbert gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade.  Fantastics work Gilbert’s injured arm.  Every time Gilbert gets a move in, then Fantastics tag and keep him under pressure.  Gilbert hits the hot shot on Fulton and makes a comeback.  Fulton avoids Gilbert in the corner causing Gilbert to hit the post again.  Fulton schoolboys Gilbert for the pin in about 29 minutes.  Really good match.

Starrcade ’88 on December 26!

Tony Schiavone and Lex Luger are at… I guess the other broadcast booth.  They talk about stuff.

Jim Ross interviews NWA World Television Champion Mike Rotunda & Kevin Sullivan about Rotunda’s title defense against Rick Steiner at Starrcade.

The Italian Stallion vs. “Dr. Death” Steve Williams (w/ Kevin Sullivan).  Doc has now turned heel and joined the Varsity Club.  No opening bell here either.  Doc totally schools Stallion in wrestling.  Stallion retaliates and dropkicks Doc out of the ring.  Stallion wrings Doc’s arm.  Doc takes him down again.  Stallion hits Doc with a clothesline.  Doc bails.  They trade hammerlocks.  Doc hits what would be called the Angle Slam years later.  Stallion avoids an elbow drop and hits a leg for 1.  They wrestle some more.  Doc cheats by using the ropes for leverage to try to get the pin.  Referee Teddy Long eventually catches him.  Stallion hits a cross body for 2.  Doc’s kick out sends Stallion out of the ring.  Doc beats up Stallion some more and throws him out of the ring again so Sullivan can get his cheap shots in.  Doc beats up Stallion on the outside.  Doc suplexes Stallion in from the apron.  There’s a cut in the video.  Stallion fights back.  Doc applies a sleeper hold.  Stallion fights back and hits a clothesline.  Doc avoids an elbow drop.  Doc gets a schoolboy for 2.  Doc works Stallion’s leg.  Stallion gets sent outside so Sullivan can cheap shot him again.  Doc hits a double axe handle off the apron.  Back inside, Stallion hits corner punches, but Doc hits an inverted atomic drop.  Doc takes Stallion down with a front face lock, then applies a rear chin lock.  Doc slams Stallion and goes for a diving headbutt, but Stallion avoids it.  Stallion makes his comeback.  Doc catches Stallion and hits the Oklahoma Stampede for the pin in about 15 minutes.  Pretty decent match.

Tony Schiavone, Lex Luger, and Jason Hervey talk.  They show clips of the Wonder Years, which I love.  I wish some channel would start airing that again.  I miss the days when it was on Nick At Nite.

Magnum T.A. interviews Junkyard Dog.

Jim Ross promises lots more to come!

They show footage of the Road Warriors jamming a spike into Dusty Rhodes’ eye.

Starrcade hype video.

Ivan Koloff vs. Paul Jones.  Koloff has to wrestle with one hand tied behind his back.  No bell again.  Jones bails immediately.  Koloff trips Jones.  Jones lands a light punch.  Koloff punches Jones.  Jones begs off.  Koloff headbutts him.  Koloff slowly and boringly beats up Jones.  Koloff chokes Jones.  Jones beats up Koloff.  Fuck this is boring.  Jones chokes Koloff with the rope that was used to tie Koloff’s arm.  They go outside.  Jones sends Koloff into the post a couple of times.  Jones beats up Koloff some more.  Koloff lands some punches.  Jones bails and hits Koloff with an object of some sort.  Jones beats up Koloff.  Koloff beats up Jones.  Jones bails again.  Motherfuck me, this sucks.  Koloff gets the object and hits Jones with it for the pin in about 7 minutes.  This was fucking horrible in every way imaginable.  The Russian Assassins jump Koloff after the match.  Junkyard Dog makes the save with his chain.  Insta-commercials.

Tony Schiavone and Lex Luger talk about the abortion we just witnessed and about the Road Warriors/Dusty Rhodes situation.

Jim Ross talks to Sting briefly.  Insta-commercials.

Road Warrior Animal and Paul Ellering are in the ring awaiting Dusty Rhodes, but Rhodes isn’t there yet.

Magnum T.A. interviews Rick Steiner.  Crazy Rick Steiner is awesome.  Insta-commercials.

NWA World Six-Man Tag Team Championship Match: Road Warrior Animal (c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Dusty Rhodes.  The deal here is that Dusty and the Road Warriors were champions, then the Warriors turned on Dusty, so the winner of this match gets to pick his partners for the titles.  Again, no bell.  Dusty nails Ellering with the Bionic elbow, then brawls with Animal.  Rhodes wraps Animal’s leg around the post a few times.  Dusty works Animal’s leg back in the ring.  Rhodes chops the referee for no reason, then locks Animal in the figure-four.  Ellering breaks it.  Animal beats up Dusty.  Rhodes hits Animal in the balls and tears at his eye.  Hawk runs in and attacks Dusty.  Sting makes the save.  Dusty attacks Animal’s leg with a chair.  The bell rings for the DQ in about 3 minutes.  Replays.  Insta-commercials.  I think Animal won by DQ.  It sucked, but it did fine setting up Sting & Dusty vs. Warriors at Starrcade.

Schiavone and Luger talk.

The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair & NWA United States Heavyweight Champion Barry Windham (w/ JJ Dillon).  Finally a bell!  Eaton and Flair start.  Eaton slaps Flair silly, then decks Windham on the apron.  Flair and Eaton trade shots.  Eaton back body drops Flair.  Windham tries to sneak in, but Eaton is having none of that shit.  Flair flips in the corner, then gets decked by Stan Lane on the apron.  Lane tags in kicks Flair.  Flair catches Lane’s leg and tags in Windham.  Lane drops Flair with an enzuigiri.  Lane lands a dropkick on Windham.  Windham beats up Lane, hits a body slam and goes for a diving elbow drop.  Lane avoids it and lands a kick that sends Windham out of the ring.  Eaton scares Flair off and decks Windham.  Lane slingshots Windham back into the ring and tags in Eaton.  Flair tags in.  Eaton hip tosses and slams both Horsemen.  Eaton nails Flair and Windham with a double clothesline.  He covers Windham, but Flair is the legal man.  Flair and Windham take a powder on the outside.  Flair and Lane go at it.  Lane locks Flair in the figure-four leglock!  Eaton decks Windham and locks him in it too!  Lane hits Flair with an elbow smash for 2.  Lane hits Flair with some of his karate kicks.  Eaton tags in.  Flair begs off, then punches Eaton in the face.  Eaton and Flair trade shots.  Lane tags in and wrestles with Flair.  We get an inset promo from Paul E. Dangerously.  Flair goes up top, but Lane throws him off.  Eaton tags in and beats up Flair.  Flair flips in the corner and tries a diving double axe handle, but Eaton counters and hits a neckbreaker.  Eaton decks Windham.  MX hit a double flapjack on Flair.  Eaton covers Flair, but Dillon puts Flair’s foot on the rope.  Eaton gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Windham nails Eaton from behind.  Windham tags in and beats up Eaton.  Windham punches Eaton out of the ring.  Windham suplexes Eaton in from the apron, then hits a powerslam for 2.  Flair tags in and hits a knee drop, then slaps Eaton and boot scrapes his face.  Windham hot shots Eaton into the barricade on the outside.  Lane nails Windham.  Flair attacks Eaton on the outside.  Windham tags in and hits a lariat on Eaton for 1.  Windham hits a gutwrench suplex, then a knee drop.  Windham locks Eaton in a sleeper hold.  Flair tags in and beats up Eaton.  Lane gets the hot tag and runs wild.  MX double team Windham.  Lane kicks Flair out of the ring.  Eaton hits the diving leg drop on Windham.  Cornette and Dillon get into it.  Flair hits Eaton with Dillon’s shoe.  Windham pins Eaton in 17:42.  Awesome match.  Insta-commercials.

Tony Schiavone interviews Jim Cornette.

Jim Ross and Bob Caudle talk about the show as highlight play.

Tony Schiavone and Lex Luger talk about the main event.

The show was good besides a couple of shitty matches in the middle.  The opener and the main event were really good.