Archive for Roddy Piper

WWE WrestleMania XXV (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then an awesome WrestleMania opening video where various wrestlers talk what they think is the greatest WrestleMania moment of all time, then comments on the big matches tonight.

Howard Finkel welcomes us to the *sigh* 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.  I’m not even going to get into that today.  The Fink then introduces Nicole Somethingorother from the Pussycat Dolls, who sings a horrible rendition of “America The Beautiful.”

The Army National Guard presents WrestleMania!  “Shoot To Thrill” plays, fireworks, and Jim Ross welcomes us to WrestleMania.  Wow, I feel really welcome with all of these welcomes.  Justin Roberts introduces our first match, the Money In The Bank Lader Match!  Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole are doing a three-man commentary team tonight.  Also, we finally have the long awaited return of the Spanish announce table!  Carlos and Hugo are back, baby!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle and rocking the old school Belfast Bruiser vest thingy) vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane.  Christian’s entrance is the only one to get an audible pop from the huge crowd.  On TV, anyway.  According to people who were there, the crowd was way hotter live than it appeared on TV, so maybe there was some audio trouble or something.  Enough of that, on to the match!  Bell rings, everybody pairs off and brawls.  Kane and Henry go at it.  Maybe they’ll take each other to prevent them from dragging the match down.  Christian and Benjamin take them down with a ladder, then try to take out Kofi.  Kofi leapfrogs the ladder, then dropkicks it and legdrops the ladder with both the guys under it.  “Controlled frenzy” line from Cole.  The ladder gets set up and Kane and Henry climb it.  Other guys come in and take the big dudes out, then they all climb a couple of ladders.  Kane and Henry come back in and push the two ladders over, then fight each other again.  Kane knocks Henry down and throws one of the ladders out of the ring, then climbs the other.  Henry comes in and tips the ladder over to send Kane crashing.  Finlay comes in and takes out Henry, who throws the ladder out.  Finlay lands a tope suicida on Kane and Benjamin.  Christian follows with his own dive, followed by MVP, then stereo dives from Punk and Kofi.  Benjamin hits a fucking insane dive off of a tall ladder in the aisle onto the pile of guys.  “HOLY SHIT” chant.  Henry teases diving, but Henry whacks him with the stick.  Hornswoggle sets up a step ladder and Finlay helps him climb onto Henry, then dive onto the pile.  The video was skipping, so I think my DVD may have not burned properly.  Kofi does an awesome spot where he dropkicks Finlay through an open ladder.  Finlay nails him with the step ladder, then uses it to nail the other guys coming back in.  Finlay goes to make the climb, but Kofi kicks him off and climbs himself.  Henry comes in and pushes the ladder over.  The next awesome Kofi spot happens, where Henry is holding an unopened ladder vertically.  Kofi climbs it and gets caught by Henry, who transitions it into the World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder.  Henry climbs, but MVP comes and takes him down, then sets up another ladder between the set up ladder and the top rope.  Benjamin comes in and he and MVP do some crazy shit that ends with Shelton taking a powerbomb.  MVP climbs, Punk stops him.  Christian tries to stop him but gets knocked down, then gets back up on the horizontal ladder behind Punk.  They fight, then Christian hits a botched but cool Unprettier off the ladder.  MVP climbs up, but Benjamin sets up the crazy thing and runs up, then botches a sunset flip off the ladder and gets a “YOU FUCKED UP” chant.  Benjamin powerbombs MVP out of the ring onto Henry and Atlas.  Finlay and Benjamin both climb.  Shelton nails Finlay, who takes a bump on the horizontal ladder.  Christian comes in and fights with Benjamin.  Benjamin sets up the ladder that has been horizontal, so we now have two vertical ladders.  They climb, but the ladder falls over.  Benjamin spills out of the ring, but Christian catches the top rope with his foot in a cool Captain Morgan post and gets it straight again.  Punk tries to stop Christian, but gets his leg caught in the ladders.  Kane comes up and chokeslams Christian off the ladder (not as cool as it sounds).  Punk goes for the prize, but Kane goozles him.  Punk kicks Kane in the head to knock him down, then takes the briefcase of the win at 14:29.  That’s where I timed it, but my DVD did skip a bit so it probably is the 14:24 other reports have it as.  Fucking awesome match.  Kofi really shined here, but everyone had their moments.

Axxess highlights.

Kid Rock mini-concert.  He performs a medley of his songs consisting Bawitaba, some song I don’t know, Cowboy, All Summer Long, and So Hott.  During the last one, the 25 divas in the Battle Royal make their way to the ring.  The whole thing goes about 10 minutes.

Now I actually put some work into working out this clusterfuck of a match, so bear with me.

Divas Battle Royal featuring Kelly Kelly, WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Layla, Jillian Hall, Rosa Mendez, Maria, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Eve Torres, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Katie Lea, Sunny, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Joy Giovanni, Torrie Wilson, Alicia Fox, Tiffany Terrell, Victoria, and Santino Marella (in drag).  The bell rings and they start fighting while Roberts introduces the match.  Mae Young is at ringside with Candice Michelle as the guest timekeeper.  Now this clusterfuck is impossible to call live, but from my earlier research, the order of elimination is Layla, Joy, Rosa, Alicia, Sunny, Torrie, Jackie, Maria, Gail, Jillian, Eve, Tiffany, Kelly, Molly, Maryse, Katie Lea, Natalya, Victoria, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Michelle McCool… then the finish is Beth going for the Glam Slam on Melina, but Santino bundles them both out to win the match at 6:10.  Pointless, but at least we got to look at a bunch of hot chicks for a few minutes.  I can say that my ridiculously jealous wife is gone.  Candice comes in the ring to present the Miss WrestleMania crown and sash to the winner.  He introduces himself as “Santina, Santino’s twin sister from Italy.”  The announcers don’t even actually acknowledge that it’s Santino.  Beth looks on, pissed.

Jericho vs. Legends hype video, a lot of which is about Mickey Rourke.  They show Rourke taking his seat in the audience.

Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steaboat, Roddy Piper, & Jimmy Snuka (w/ Ric Flair).  Piper, who looks incredibly old, insists on starting.  He spits his gum at Jericho, then proceeds to kick his ass for the first few minutes, other than an embarrasing spot early on when Piper gets his arm stuck in the ropes.  Piper throws a half assed dropkick that only connects with one leg.  Snuka tags in and looks fucking terrible.  Steamboat tags in to a big pop and looks FUCKING AWESOME.  Steamboat nails a couple of GORGEOUS arm drags, causing me to mark out for an arm drag for the first time in my life.  Steamboat works the arm a bit, then tags Snuka back in.  They do a double chop and Snuka’s doesn’t even connect.  Jericho locks Snuka in the Walls of Jericho for the submission at 3:45.  Thank God.  He refuses to break the hold until Piper and Steamboat come in and force him.  There are some incidents of the audio going out for a second.  Piper goes after Jericho again, poking him in the eyes and locking in the sleeper hold.  Jericho escapes and hits an enzuigiri for the pin at 4:45.  Steamboat hits a sweet diving crossbody for a near fall.  Steamboat and Jericho go at it, and it’s awesome.  Jericho tosses Steamboat out and decks Flair as Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Steamboat sends Jericho out of the ring and dives onto him, then sends him back in and hits the diving karate chop.  More chops, then Steamboat gets a near fall with a reverse cradle.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, but Steamboat avoids it.  Steamboat catches Jericho with a powerslam for a near fall.  Jericho locks in the Walls, but Steamboat manages to counter out with an inside cradle for another near fall.  Jericho goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands on his feet.  Jericho catches the Codebreaker out of nowhere for the win at 8:57.  Snuka was awful.  Piper tried, but wasn’t good.  Steamboat was the fucking man and made the match.  Flair attacks Jericho after the match, but ends up taking a backdrop and eating the Codebreaker.  Jericho challenges Rourke.  Rourke stalls forever before finally getting in the ring.  They have an impromptu amateur boxing match which ends with Rourke catching Jericho with a left hand and knocking him down.  Flair comes in and celebrates with Rourke.  Another pointless waste of time.  The post-match stuff, not the match, though the match would have been MUCH better if it was just a Jericho/Steamboat singles match.

Army National Guard commercial.

The announcers chat a bit to introduce the Hardys video package.

Extreme Rules Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy.  Matt talks trash, then Jeff jumps on him and kicks his ass.  Jeff pulls a WrestleMania poster from under the ring and breaks it over Matt’s head, prompting a great line from Lawler: “Well, at least Matt finally got his face on the WrestleMania poster.”  Matt catches Jeff with a chair to the legs while Jeff was attempting the Whisper in the Wind, then moments later nailed him with a shop vac.  I was amused.  Matt hits the Side Effect on the chair for a near fall.  Ouch.  Matt sets up a table on the outside.  Logic says Matt will be the one to go through that table later on.  Matt takes a bump in the steps and the ref and trainer check on him.  Matt hits him with a Singapore cane, then puts a trash can over his head and hits him with a crutch.  Jeff hits a front suplex and goes up top, but Matt avoids the Swanton bomb.  Matt hits the Twist of Fate, but Jeff kicks out at two.  Jeff hits Matt with a chair, then sets him up on that table from earlier.  Jeff sets a chair on top of Matt, then sets another table on top of the table on which Matt is laying.  Jeff goes to the top rope and dives through the table.  Told ya so.  “HOLY SHIT” chant, but I’m pretty sure the top table actually made the spot safer.  Jeff puts Matt in the ring and covers, but Matt puts his foot on the bottom rope.  Jeff brings in a ladder, then sets up a chair and hits a leg drop off of it.  He sets up two ladders and does that “jump from the shorter ladder over the taller ladder and do a leg drop” spot, but Matt moves and Jeff dies.  Matt his a Twist of Fate using an open chair, which looks SICK, for the win at 13:15.  Good plunder match, and no doubt the best match they’ve ever had against each other.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.

Randy Orton is shown in his locker room with Legacy, getting ready.  At least Dibiase and Rhodes got a second of screen time.

Lillian Garcia introduces the first Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania in 7 years.  JBL comes down, cutting a promo about how he is returning to Texas as a champion and being the only hero Texas has, or something to that effect.  Mysterio makes his entrance with an awesome Heath Ledger Joker mask and outfit.  Lillian does the introductions in-ring, then JBL nails Mysterio with a big boot, then nails him with some punches.  The referee asks Mysterio if he still wants to wrestle.  He says he does, so we have…

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio ducks a kick and hits an enzuigiri, a dropkick, the 619, and the diving splash for the win in 21 seconds.  Mysterio celebrates and leaves with the gold.  JBL takes the microphone and quits, which makes the crowd pop big.  He leaves, yelling at the crowd that they’ll regret him leaving.

A nice shot of the Houston skyline.  A NASCAR driver is in the crowd.

Shawn/Taker video package.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker.  Here we go.  Awesome entrances, as Michaels descends from above, then Taker rises from the stage.  Bell rings.  Taker looks to throw punches, but Michaels ducks and lands his own blows.  Taker gets hold of Michaels and tosses him into the turnbuckle.  Michaels responds with a defiant crotch chop.  Michaels leap frogs Taker and pounces on him.  Taker finally manages to land some punches and hammers Michaels down.  Michaels answers with chops, but Taker throws him into the corner, then back body drops him.  Taker press slams Shawn and drops an elbow.  First cover of the match gets a one count.  Taker hits Old School.  Shawn chop blocks Taker to weaken his leg, then locks in the figure-four.  Taker throws some punches and manages to escape.  Taker kicks Shawn’s ass for a minute until Michaels counters a chokeslam attempt into a crossface.  Taker finally manages to get up and drop Michaels with a side slam to escape it.  They trade blows.  Michaels hits the forearm and nips up.  Michaels knocks Taker down and goes to the top for the big elbow, but Taker gets up and catches him with the goozle.  Michaels counters the chokeslam attempt and feigns a superkick.  He goes for the figure-four again, but Taker locks in the Gogoplata.  Michaels scampers around and manages to get a rope break.  Michaels avoids the apron leg drop, causing Taker to hurt his leg again.  Michaels hits a baseball slide kick, then goes for a moonsault to the outside, but Taker avoids it.  Taker gets back in the ring and goes for a suicide dive.  Michaels pulls a camera man (played by Sim Snuka) in the way and Taker ALMOST KILLS HIMSELF.  I don’t know how he managed to not break his neck.  It was a tope suicida that almost turned into a Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Taker BARELY beats the count back in the ring.  Michaels tunes up the band and goes for the superkick, but Taker catches him with a huge chokeslam for a VERY close two count.  They counter each other’s finishes until Michaels lands the superkick for the one, two… TAKER KICKS OUT!  They rest for a moment, then Michaels nips up and stands over the dead Taker.  Taker comes back to life and goozles him, then gets up and goes for the Last Ride.  Michaels counters.  Taker goes for it again and hits it big time for the one, two, hegothimnohedidn’tcomeonref!  Taker, for some reason, goes for the diving elbow drop, but crashes and burns when Michaels moves.  When everybody gets up, Taker throws Michaels over the top rope.  Michaels skins the cat… right into the Tombstone!  Taker covers for the one, two, and MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers the straps to reveal his chest, which has been beaten blood red.  He goes for another Tombstone, but Michaels counters with somewhat of a DDT.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop, then NAILS the superkick for a very believable near fall.  Taker’s not done yet, though.  They make it to their feet and trade blows until Taker knocks Shawn down.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters.  Taker runs into Michaels’ boot in the corner.  Michaels goes for another moonsault, but Taker catches him and drops him with a second Tombstone and gets the pin at 30:43.  Fucking amazing epic match here, one of the best matches in WrestleMania history.

Raw Draft special commercial.

Evander Holyfield is in the crowd.  The announcers reflect on the epic match we just saw, but still have to feign interest in the matches still to come.

Edge/Cena/Show video package.

Lillian introduces Vickie Guerrero, who is wheeled down by Chavo.  At least Chavo gets a WrestleMania payday.  Edge makes his way out, then Show.  Cena’s old music hits and a bunch of Cena look-alikes come out and line the entry way.  Then the real Cena comes out.  I guess it’s the real Cena anyway.  In-ring intros, then we have…

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena tries to out-quick the other guys, but gets knocked down.  Edge tries to form an alliance with Show, but Show quickly betrays him.  Edge is disposed of, then Show beats down Cena.  Show ends up outside the ring and Cena hits his diving Fameasser to the oustide on Show.  Edge and Cena end up in the ring.  Edge hits his DDT and gets a near fall.  Show makes it back in.  Chavo pulls Cena out of the ring and gets F-U… er, has his Attitude Adjusted for his troubles.  Show does the Andre “tied up in the ropes” spot and watches Cena beat up Edge.  Vickie gets out of her wheelchair and gets on the apron.  Edge accidentally spears her for the 374th time.  Show finally gets out and beats up everyone.  Show goes for a double chokeslam, but Cena gets away, so Edge is the only one to take it.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjuster, but Show counters and nails his KO punch.  Show and Edge fight outside.  Edge spears Show through the guardrail.  Edge covers Cena for a two count back in the ring.  Edge goes for the spear, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Show makes it back up and pulls Cena out of the ring, then headbutts him.  Show goes for a Vader bomb on Edge, but Edge avoids it.  Edge and Cena unite to suplex Show, then they clothesline him out of the ring.  Edge takes a cheap shot and gets a near fall on Cena.  Cena hits the Throwback and goes up top.  Show pushes him off right into a spear from Edge in a cool spot.  Edge hops on Show’s back and tries to put him down with a sleeper.  Cena shows his retard strength and lifts both of them for the Attitude Adjuster.  Edge falls of and Show takes the move.  Cena hits it on Edge, dropping him on top of Show, then covers Show for the win at 14:43.  Not a bad match, but nothing was going to follow Shawn vs. Taker.

WrestleMania XXVI is coming to Arizona!

Justin Roberts introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2009: The Funks (Terry & Dory Jr.), Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, The Von Erichs (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky Steamboat, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Austin appears on the stage in his suit, then leaves.  He comes back out on his four wheeler in an Austin 3:16 shirt.  He drives down to the ring and drinks some beer, even sharing one with good ol’ J.R.  Ross puts this over as the end of the Austin era.

Backlash!  Backlash!  BACKLASH!

Lillian announces the attendance as 72,744.

Triple H/Orton history package.

Triple H is shown walking backstage.  He runs into Vince and Shane McMahon.  They exchange nods of the head.  Main event time!

WWE Championship Match: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Triple H can lose the title by DQ or count-out.  Entrances and in-ring introductions here too.  Triple H kicks Orton’s ass to start and gets told off by the referee.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere, but is an idiot, so doesn’t cover.  Orton goes for the punt of death, but Triple H avoids it and hits the Pedigree.  He is also an idiot and doesn’t cover.  They fight outside for a moment, then back in, then back out, then back in.  Orton begs off, but Triple H hammers him anyway.  They end up outside again.  Orton reverses Triple H and whips him into the steps, then into the time keeper’s area.  Triple H makes it back in the ring to avoid being counted out, but Orton goes to work on him.  My DVD starts skipping again.  Must have been a bad burn.  It finally starts playing right again, but my timing is going to be completely screwed now.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters with a quick jackknife hold for a near fall.  The match speeds up a bit now, with Triple H avoiding the RKO and getting a near fall with a quick schoolboy, then catching Orton with the big spinebuster.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Orton hits his 3.0 backbreaker for a near fall.  Orton catches Triple H coming off the turnbuckle with a sweet dropkick.  Triple H avoids the punt again and sends Orton outside.  Triple H teases hitting Orton with a monitor, but thinks better of it.  They tease a Pedigree through the announce table, but Orton backdrops Triple H to the other table, which doesn’t give.  Orton drops Triple H with his sick DDT off the table and they do the big count-out tease, but Triple H makes it back in.  Orton punishes him some more.  Ref bump.  Orton hits the RKO and retrieves the sledgehammer.  Triple H catches Orton coming back in and punts him.  Triple H hits Orton with the sledgehammer, hides it, and hammers Orton with punches.  The referee wakes up and makes Triple H stop throwing punches.  Triple H hits the Pedigree for the pin at 23:34 (according to Wikipedia since my timing got fucked up).  Flattest Mania finish ever, and Orton totally got jobbed.

WrestleMania highlight video.  Fin.

WCW Souled Out 1998 (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

The opening video package is all about Eric Bischoff and the Nash/Giant match.

Tony Schiavone welcomes us to the sold out Hara Arena in Dayton.  He, Bobby Heenan, and Dusty Rhodes are on commentary.  They talk a bit about what’s going down tonight.

Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo, Lizmark Jr., & Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Psicosis, La Parka, Silver King, & El Dandy.  Mike Tenay joins the other guys for commentary on this.  For some reason, there was a time when he only called the lucha matches.  I wish that were the case in TNA today, since they only have a few lucha matches every couple of years.  It’s lucha rules here, appropriately.  Psicosis and Calo start.  What exactly was Calo’s gimmick supposed to be?  Lizmark and Silver King comes in.  Lizmark avoids some dropkicks.  King fires up with chops.  Lizmark does some flips and catches him in a backbreaker.  King hits a swinging DDT and covers.  Chavo saves.  Chavo and Dandy come in and have another since exchange.  They take a spill out of the ring and Parka and Juventud come in.  They hit stereo baseball slides onto the guys outside.  Some quick stuff happens while I’m typing.  Juventud his a diving rana and some more fast shit happens.  Lizmark does a neat arm sequence with Psicosis.  Dandy gets a la magistral on Lizmark but Calo saves.  Calo hits a neat headscissors off the turnbuckle.  Silver King does a spinny thing and senton on Calo and covers.  Juventud saves.  He fucks up a little doing something with King.  King and Juventud fight on the top rope.  Juventud pushes him down and hits a 450 splash, but Parka breaks the cover, then hits him with a sit-out powerbomb.  Calo saves.  Psicosis hits a front suplex and a diving leg drop on Chavo.  Calo saves.  Parka tags in and throws Chavo out of the ring.  King and Calo go at it.  Calo gets sent to the outside and King dives, but Calo moves and King crashes.  Calo dives and hits it.  Dandy dives onto Calo.  Juvtentud springboards off of Lizmark onto Dandy.  Parka hits an Asai moonsault on everbody.  Lizmark dives on everybody.  Chavo and Psicosis are the only guys left in the ring.  Chavo hits the tornado DDT for the win at 9:30.  La Parka hits all the winners with a chair, then he hits his partners too.  Awesome match.

Raven comes out with Flock members Kidman, Lodi, Van Hammer, Scotty Riggs, and Sick Boy (last three are guesses, but I think I’m right).  David Penzer announces that the Flock will be banned from ringside.  They leave, and Raven cuts what I assume was his usual promo for the time period.

Raven’s Rules Match: Raven vs. Chris Benoit.  Raven jumps Benoit on the outside to start.  When they make it to the ring, Benoit gets a quick backslide for a near fall.  Raven pounces on him again and tries to stay on top of things.  Raven goes for a bulldog on a chair.  It looked to me like Benoit blocked it, but they play it off like he hit it, so I’ll play along.  Benoit reverses Raven and hits the drop toe hold on the chair.  Benoit fires away with chops and blasts Raven with a clothesline.  Benoit snap suplexes Raven on the chair for a near fall.  Benoit rips Raven’s shirt off and chops him some more.  Benoit kicks Raven’s ass outside the ring, even suplexing him on the ramp.  Benoit takes Raven back to the ring and suplexes him near the chair.  Benoit puts the chair on Raven’s face and hits the diving headbutt!  Benoit is knocked loopy.  By the time he manages to make the cover, Raven is able to kick out.  Benoit goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Raven counters and hits a DDT.  They’re both laid out again.  Benoit wakes up and covers for a two count.  Raven goes for the DDT, but Benoit locks in the Cripple Crossface.  Raven passes out to give Benoit the victory at 10:36.  Kidman comes down, but Dean Malenko shows up and puts him in the Texas Cloverleaf.  The rest of the Flock attacks Benoit and Malenko as Hammer carries Raven away.  Malenko manages to fight off the Flock.  Really good match.  Was this promotion good in early 1998 and nobody told me?

WCW World Cruiserweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  11 years later and both of these guys have been World Champions in WWE.  Who would have thought that in 1998?  Tenay is back on commentary.  Rey’s knee is hurt, but he still goes full speed ahead.  Jericho is sent outside with a headscissors and Mysterio does the 619 back when it was still a fakeout move.  Rey appears to tweak his knee, but when Jericho tries to sneak attack him Mysterio locks in a sleeper.  He ends up getting a near fall with a victory roll, but favors his knee again.  Fuck, Rey used to be awesome.  They tease what might be an awesome rana off the apron, but Rey hurts his knee and Jericho goes to work on him.  Rey fights back and hits an odd Unprettier type move.  Rey eventually hurts his knee again and Jericho locks in the Liontamer for the instant submission at 8:22.  Good match.  Jericho gets upset that the crowd is booing him, so he beats up Rey some more to give them a reason to boo.  He hits Rey’s knee with a trunk.

Mean Gene Okerlund is in the ring with JJ Dillon to talk about the WCW World Heavyweight Championship being vacant.  Dillon talks, then introduces Roddy Piper.  Piper talks, then asks Sting to come out.  Sting indeed does come out.  Piper asks Hollywood Hogan and Scott Hall to come out, who indeed come out as well, accompanied by Eric Bischoff.  Piper tells Hall that even though he won the World War 3 battle royal, he’s not getting a title shot right now.  Piper announces that Sting and Hogan will wrestle for the vacant title at SuperBrawl next month.  Hogan protests.  Sting punks him down.  Hall leaves.  Hogan leaves when notices he has no backup.  Dissension in the nWo?

WCW World Television Championship Match: Booker T (c) vs. Rick Martel.  They lock up and trade hammerlocks.  Martel ends up getting a near fall off of a reverse cradle, then they trade hammerlocks again.  He tries the reverse cradle again, but Booker holds onto the ropes.  Booker works Martel’s arm.  He hits a kick, covers for two, and goes back to the arm.  Martel escapes, but Booker gets ahold the arm again and keeps working on it.  Martel tries to leapfrog Booker but gets headbutted in the gut.  Martel gets mad and stomps Booker in the corner, then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle and drops an elbow on him.  Martel hits a gutwrench suplex for a two count, then a spinebuster for another near fall.  Booker gets a near fall with a sunset flip.  Martel continues to work on Booker’s back.  Booker escapes and catches him with a forearm after some quick moving.  Booker misses a dropkick.  Martel locks in the crab hold, but Booker gets a rope break.  Booker hits the scissors kick and a sidewalk slam, then the Harlem Hangover for the win at 10:50.  Good match.  Martel grabs the belt from the referee, then hands it to Booker and raises his hand.  Perry Saturn runs in and hits an Exploder on Martel

This is a good show so far.

WCW World Tag Team Champion Scott Hall (w/ Louie Spicolli) vs. Larry Zbyszko (w/ Dusty Rhodes). Hall doesn’t wear his tag belt to the ring.  That makes me sad.  Maybe Nash will wear his later.  Dusty leaves the commentary table to be Zbyszko’s second.  Larry gets the better early on and Hall seems befuddled that the old man is outdoing him.  Larry locks Hall in the abdominal stretch.  Hall hiptosses him out of it.  Repeat.  Larry takes Hall down repeatedly.  Spicolli gets in a cheap shot to let Hall take over.  Dusty goes for Spicolli.  Nothing happens with that.  Larry smashes Hall’s face into the turnbuckle, but Hall cuts him off and works him over.  Hall hits the fall away slam, which I always mark for for some odd reason.  He sets up the Outsider’s Edge, but Zbyszko backdrops him out of it and makes a comeback.  Larry accidentally kicks the referee.  Hall hits a lariat and covers, but obviously, the referee is down.  Hall checks on the referee.  Larry plays possum and locks Hall in his chancery hold.  Spicolli attacks Zbyszko.  Dusty comes in and cleans his clock, then hits the Bionic Elbow on Zbyszko!  Dusty takes off his shirt to reveal an nWo shirt!  They all attack Larry, who wins by DQ at 9:16.  I expected this match to be awful, but it was kinda fun.

Scott Norton, Konnan, & Buff Bagwell of the nWo (w/ Vincent) vs. The Steiner Brothers & Ray Traylor (w/ Ted Dibase).  Schiavone is very upset because of Dusty joining the nWo.  He and Heenan call for Tenay to come out and carry the team.  Believe it or not, there was a time when Tenay was a good commentator.  Rick and Bagwell start.  I’ve always hated Buff Bagwell intensely.  His gimmick is so fucking obnoxious.  Rick beats up Bagwell, then Traylor beats up Bagwell, then Rick beats up Bagwell some more.  Why are they not letting Scott have a turn in their game?  Rick tags Traylor back in.  Bagwell makes the tag to Norton, who briefly murders Traylor, but Traylor makes a comeback.  Man, you forget what an agile dude Traylor could be.  Listening to the commentary, there’s something to Rick and Traylor not tagging in Scott.  The bad guys get the heat on Traylor for a bit.  Lukewarm tag to Rick, who gets DDT’d by Konnan.  Scott threatens the referee.  Bad guys beat up Rick.  Traylor and Scott argue in the face corner.  Scott eventually comes in to try to save Rick and argues with the referee again.  Rick makes a hot tag to both partners.  Scott cleans house.  The referee tries to make him get out of the ring but gets shoved again.  He Dragon suplexes Konnan off of Traylor, who finally tags him in.  Scott hits the Steiner Screwdriver on Konnan for the win at 12:20.  Okay match.  Scott and Bagwell have compare physiques and chat after the match.

WCW World Tag Team Champion Kevin Nash (w/ Hollywood Hogan & Eric Bischoff) vs. The Giant.  No tag belt with Nash either.  Sad face.  Stare down.  Nash pokes Giant.  Giant shoves Nash.  They lock up for about half a minute.  Nash grabs a side headlock.  Giant backdrop suplexes his way out of it.  Giant goes on the offensive and Nash bails to take a breather.  Nash comes back in and goes on the offensive.  I use the same phrase over and over again don’t I?  Giant fights back and kicks Nash with a high big boot.  Slow back and forth brawl.  Nash clotheslines Giant out of the ring and DOES A FUCKING SUICIDE DIVE.  Let that sentence sink in for a moment.  Giant catches him and rams him into the post, then puts him back in the ring.  While the referee’s back is turned, Hogan blindsides Giant with a chair.  Giant barely beats the count back in the ring.  Nash is upset he didn’t win by count-out, but takes the advantage Hogan handed him on a silver splatter.  Giant hits a clotheslines, then they knock each other down with big boots.  Nash eventually covers for a two count.  Nash does the punches in the corner spot, but Giant gives him an inverted atomic drop.  Giant makes a comeback and body slams Nash.  He signals for the chokeslam.  Bischoff jumps up on the apron and gets chokeslamed by Giant.  Nash throws coffee in Giant’s face and hits a horribly botched and painful looking Jackknife Powerbomb for the pin at 10:48.  The finish was scary.  Giant is lucky he wasn’t crippled.  Match wasn’t good, but it was quite a spectacle.

Ric Flair vs. Bret Hart.  This is Bret’s first WCW match.  Lock up, headlock, drop, good basic stuff to start.  Bret puts Flair in his own figure-four leglock 2 minutes in.  Flair gets a rope break and rolls to the apron.  Bret suplexes him back in and covers for a two count.  Bret works on Flair with some simple holds.  They get into a slap fight and Flair takes a breather.  Flair comes back in and gets the advantage for a moment, then gets backdropped and slammed.  Bret grounds him with a headlock.  They get back to their feet and Flair throws some punches to get the advantage.  Bret goes for a sleeper, but Flair backdrops him.  Flair low blows Bret when the ref’s back is turned and takes over.  Flair works the leg a bit.  They trade chops and punches.  Bret hits a swinging neckbreaker.  Bret starts working on Flair’s leg.  Bret tries the figure-four around the ring post, but Flair kicks him into the guardrail.  Flair works on Bret’s leg back in the ring.  Flair goes for the figure-four, but Bret counters with an inside cradle for a near fall.  Bret hits a backslide for another two count, then Flair clips his leg and locks in the figure-four.  Bret suffers for a bit, then turns it over, forcing Flair to release the hold.  Flair goes to the top rope and of course gets thrown off.  Bret takes his chest first bump into the turnbuckle.  Flair goes for a Russian leg sweep, but Bret counters and hits his own.  Flair chops Bret.  Bret pulls down his straps.  Flair begs off, but Bret punches him in the corner.  Inverted atomic drop gets Flair out of it.  Didn’t we see that exact same spot in the last match, only more poorly executed?  Bret hits his diving elbow for a two count, then hits a superplex.  Bret locks Flair in the Sharpshooter for the win at 18:06.  Very good match.

Michael Buffer is in the ring to do intros for the main event.  What’s going to follow Flair vs. Bret?

Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Lex Luger.  Bleh.  Savage plays chickenshit and Luger persues him.  Elizabeth hits him from behind allowing Savage to jump Luger and get the advantage.  Liz chokes Luger with Savage’s bandana while Savage distracts the referee.  Luger catches a charging Savage with a boot and starts a comeback, but Liz grabs his foot and lets Savage pounce on him again.  I’ve never seen Liz interfere like this.  Savage and Luger brawl in the crowd.  They make it back to the ring and Luger hits some forearms.  Hall comes down with a chair.  Hogan follows and they chat a bit.  Hall gets on the apron.  Luger sends Savage into him and knocks Hall to the floor.  Luger puts Savage in the Torture Rack for the victory at 7:07.  The nWo jumps Luger after the match.  Sting makes the save and the two WCW supermen fight off the bad guys.  Luger puts Nash in the Rack and Sting puts Hogan in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Luger and Sting celebrate to close the show.

Great show.  Today PPVs are mostly lame matches in between crappy segments.  This show only had one non-wrestling segment in 3 hours.  Besides that, it was just match, match, match, match, and nearly all of those matches were good.  Even Luger and Savage had a decent match (it was kept short and played to their strengths, as Luger sucks and Savage was old even 11 years ago).  I give Souled Out 1998 a thumbs up!

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/16/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, replay of last week’s Cena/Edge/Show/Vickie angle, Raw open.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us LIVE to San Antonio.  Tonight: Cena vs. Edge with Vickie as the special guest referee, an update on the Triple H/Orton situation, and will Ric Flair break his retirement to face Chris Jericho tonight?

The Undertaker & Shawn Michaels vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion John Bradshaw Layfield & Vladimir Kozlov.  Kozlov overpowers Michaels to start.  Michaels tags out to Taker, who comes in swinging.  Taker clotheslines Kozlov out of the ring.  Commercial.  Believe it or not, the faces have the advantage when we return.  Taker wrenches JBL’s arm and tags in Michaels, who knocks JBL down and hits the diving elbow.  He sets up for the superkick, but Kozlov distracts him and allows JBL to knock him down with a boot.  Kozlov tags in and goes to work on Michaels.  Bad guys take turns dealing out the punishment to Michaels.  Michaels finally makes the hot tag and Taker comes in to clean house.  Taker goes for the chokeslam on JBL, but Michaels makes the blind tag and superkicks JBL for the win at 9:19.  Michaels bails and Taker chases him up the ramp.  Michaels disappears into the entrance way and Taker’s music hits.  Michaels sneaks back in and lands the superkick to leave Taker laying.  Commercial.

Moments ago: Read above, I’m not going to type it again.

Edge confronts Vickie in her office.  He says he forgives her.  Vickie says Show forced himself on her.  Edge says he blames Cena for the whole thing.  Vickie tells Edge to destroy Cena tonight, and if Cena lays a finger on her, he’s out of the title match at WrestleMania.

Last week: Triple H broke into Orton’s “house” and got “arrested”.  Tonight: Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes.  Right now: Todd Grisham interviews Randy Orton (w/ Rhodes and Dibiase).  Orton says he didn’t press charges because he wants to deal with Triple H himself at WrestleMania.

Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, & Layla (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez) vs. WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Mickie James, & Kelly Kelly.  Santino joins Cole and Lawler for commentary!  Beth and Mickie start, with Beth getting the better of it.  Mickie tags out to Melina, who hits a really shitty handspring elbow.  Beth fights back and goes for a pin, but Mickie saves.  Santino tries to interfere and gets kicked in the balls by Mickie.  Melina pins Beth with a schoolgirl in about 3 minutes.  Melina, Beth, and Mickie worked the whole match.

Plug for Cena’s movie.  I still don’t care, not will I ever.

Last week: Triple H got arrested!  They’ve shown that like 37 times already.

WrestleMania hype.

Triple H and Cody Rhodes come out for their match.  Rhodes comes out alone, but it soon followed by the rest of Legacy.  Triple H destroys Cody before the bell rings and pulls out his sledgehammer.  He Pedigrees Rhodes and motions upward.  A Steel Cage descends!  The bell finally rings, so we’ve got…

Non-Title, Steel Cage Match: WWE Champion Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes (w/ Randy Orton & Ted Dibiase Jr.).  Triple H kicks Cody’s ass, and there’s nothing Legacy can do about it.  Sledgehammer to the face, and Triple H gets the pin at 2:18.

Still to come, Cena vs. Edge with Vickie as referee!  Plus, Jericho vs. Flair… maybe.

ANOTHER plug for Cena’s movie.

Evan Bourne returns to ECW tomorrow night!  Dammit, now I have to watch ECW again.

Earlier tonight, Ric Flair arrived!

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler tries to introduces himself.  Rey doesn’t seem interested, and they lock up.  Rey does some flippy shit.  Cole says that Mysterio has challenged JBL to an IC title match at WrestleMania.  Ziggler gets the advantage and locks in a full nelson, but Rey escapes with a jawbreaker and makes a comeback and hits a rana and his missile splash for the win at 2:16.

Will Flair accept Jericho’s challenge?  It’s next… maybe!

Jericho comes out.  He’s mad about Flair costing him his match last week and a spot on WrestleMania.  He calls out Flair, who comes out not dressed to wrestle.  Flair says he won’t break his retirement, but he’s found some guys who will wrestle Jericho: Jimmy Snuka, Ricky Steamboat, and Roddy Piper.  The legends surround the ring, then step in and surround Jericho.  Jericho tries to bail, but the legends jump on him.  He slithers out of the ring and Flair decks him.  He backs up the ramp and yells at the legends.

WrestleMania video: WrestleMania XV.

This Friday: Smackdown’s 500th Episode!

Grisham interviews an angry Jericho.  Jericho challenges Snuka, Steamboat, and Piper to a match at WrestleMania, and demands that Flair be in their corner.  He says he’s going to buy Mickey Rourke a front row ticket.

CM Punk, MVP, & Kofi Kingston vs. Kane, WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamin, & Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas).  Christian and Finlay are on commentary as Hornswoggle plays with King’s crown.  This a Money In The Bank preview match.  Some stuff happens for a couple of minutes and we go to commercial.  When we come back, Kane is working over Kofi.  Shelton tags in and goes to work on Kofi.  Punk gets the hot tag and hits the Go 2 Sleep on Benjamin for the win at 8:35.

Another plug for Cena’s movie.  WHEN WILL THEY LEARN THAT I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK?

Big Show confronts Vickie in her locker room.  Show says Vickie is the one who came onto him.  Show says Edge doesn’t love Vickie, but Show does.  He says she looks sexy in the referee shirt.  Ick.  Commercial.

Earlier tonight: Shawn superkicked Taker.

Cole and Lawler run down the WrestleMania card.

Grisham tries to interview Triple H, who ignores him and leaves in his hummer with Stephanie!

Lillian Garcia introduces Vickie Guerrero for the main event.  Commercial!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. John Cena (Vickie Guerrero is the Special Guest Referee).  Edge clamps on a headlock.  Cena fights back and gets nailed with a shot.  Cena hits his swinging Fisherman buster and covers, but Vickie doesn’t count.  Cena confronts her and Edge attacks him from behind.  Cena takes a spill outside.  Edge follows and rams his head on the announce table.  Back in the ring, Edge misses a spear and gives Cena the opening for his usual comeback.  He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Vickie covers Edge.  She gets up and Cena hits it anyway.  He goes for the F-U or whatever it’s called this week, but Vickie pulls Edge off.  Cena locks in the STF and Vickie puts him in a chinlock.  Big Show comes down and brawls with Cena.  Edge and Show double team Cena.  They tie him up in the ropes.  Edge spears him.  Vickie slaps him.  Show slugs him in the gut and hits his knockout punch.  Edge spears Show and celebrates.  Fade to black.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/2/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then a video highlighting the Triple H sit-down interview and his backstage horror movie chasing of Legacy last week.  Raw open.

Michael Cole welcomes us LIVE to Boston.  Tonight, Randy Orton decides which champion he’ll challenge at WrestleMania.  Jerry Lawler is in the ring.  He announces that tonight, Edge will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against John Cena.

Roddy Piper’s music hits.  There’s a little Piper’s Pit set on the stage.  The music transitions into Chris Jericho’s music, and he comes out.  He introduces a clip of the legendary Piper’s Pit where Piper hit Jimmy Snuka with a coconut.  Jericho introduces his guest, Jimmy Snuka.  Shock shock.  Jericho has a cut between his eyes.  They show highlights of various Piper/Snuka matches.  Jericho bashes Piper for working indy shows and says all the other shit he says every week.  Of course there’s the tease that Jericho is going to hit him with a coconut.  Snuka grabs the coconut and Jericho runs away.  Snuka celebrates and Jericho pushes the stage down onto him and beats him down.  Commercial.

Moments ago: Chris Jericho beat down Jimmy Snuka!

The announcers dicsuss what happened, then hype the Edge vs. Cena title match TONIGHT!

Before the first match gets underway, let me rant for a moment.  WWE IS SO FUCKING STUPID.  It is SO FUCKING ANNOYING that they keep hyping the upcoming WrestleMania as “The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.”  It’s NOT.  This is worse than the “IC Title Tournament” thing a few months ago.  It’s WrestleMania 25.  It’s the 25th Annual WrestleMania.  Why can’t they just say that?  Why do they go out of their way to be stupid?  Is the day you get married your first anniversary?  NO.  Is WrestleMania I the first anniversary of WrestleMania?  NO.  Shit like this is just stupid and it promotes stupidity of the people watching.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Triple Threat Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Mike Knox vs. Kane.  CM Punk qualified last week, beating John Morrison and The Miz in another Triple Threat Match.  Rey gets sent to the outside, then Kane and Knox knock each other down.  Commercial.  When we come back, Knox is punishing Mysterio with a backbreaker hold.  Kane pulls Mysterio out, decks him, and goes in to fight Knox.  Mysterio makes it back in and uses his speed to try to gain the advantage.  Knox kills him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a near fall.  Knox picks him up to go for another move, but Mysterio hits a neat tornado DDT.  Kane breaks the cover.  Mysterio jumps off of Knox and hits the Bombs Away on Kane.  He goes for the 619 on Knox, but Kane catches him and goes for the chokeslam.  Mysterio counters and hits the 619 and the Bombs Away, but Knox breaks the cover.  Knox his his finish on Mysterio, but Kane chokeslams him for the win at 8:45.  Kane chokeslams Mysterio for good measure.

Tonight, Orton makes his decision!

Vladimir Kozlov is backstage warming up for his match with Shawn Michaels tonight.

WrestleMania video highlighting WrestleMania XII.

Todd Grisham interviews Shawn Michaels.  He says he’ll end Kozlov’s undefeated streak tonight, and he’ll end Undertaker’s at WrestleMania.

Mickie James & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez).  Women’s Champion Melina and Divas Champion Maryse join the announcers at ringside.  Beth destroys Kelly.  Jillian tags in and does the same.  Mickie gets the hot tag and hits a diving Thesz press, but Phoenix breaks the cover.  Kelly tags in and pins Jillian with a diving sunset flip at 2:38.  Rosa jumps in and attacks Kelly.  Melina tries to make the save, but Maryse drops her with a DDT outside the ring.

Another replay of the Triple H/Orton angle.  Orton comes out with Legacy, lawyers, and security.  Commercial.  Orton says he’s challenging the winner of tonight’s Cena/Edge match.  He says Triple H isn’t going to WrestleMania, he’s going to jail, because Orton is pressing assault charges.  Triple H comes out.  Long story short, Triple H convinces Orton to accept the match with him at WrestleMania.  Orton agrees with the stipulation that Triple H can’t touch him until WrestleMania unless he’s physically provoked.  Orton tries to provoke Triple H.  Triple H says that the last time they had a match, Triple H broke Orton’s collarbone.  This time, he’ll break Orton’s neck.

Tonight: Edge vs. Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship!

Next: Michaels vs. Kozlov, with the winner facing Undertaker at WrestleMania!

Last week: Michaels beat JBL, then Kozlov attacked Michaels.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vladimir Kozlov.  Last week on Smackdown, Kozlov beat The Undertaker.  Michaels is flustered early on by Kozlov’s intensity.  I don’t know if that sentence made sense.  I need to read a dictionary.  Michaels manages to lock Kozlov in the figure-four leglock, but Kozlov turns it over.  Kozlov goes for his spinebuster type move, but Michaels bails.  Commercial.  When we come back, Kozlov continues to dominate.  Shawn gets completely massacred for several minutes before countering an attempt at a top rope move from Kozlov and hitting the diving elbow drop.  He follows with the superkick for the clean pin at 10:39.  The match wasn’t awful.  Undertaker comes out to stand on the stage and give the throat slash gesture.  At least we have something on the WrestleMania card worth watching.

Who will join Steve Austin, The Funks, and Ricky Steamboat in the Hall of Fame class of 2009?  We’ll find out NEXT!

Hype for Cena’s new movie.

Bill Watts is going into the Hall of Fame!  He’ll be inducted by Jim Ross.

Todd Grisham interviews Edge.

Tomorrow night on ECW: Kane!

Last Friday on Smackdown: Cena fell victim to Big Show’s killer punch.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. John Cena.  In-ring intros for this one.  They start with a headlock sequence.  Edge charges Cena, but gets lowbridged out of the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, Edge is wearing down Cena with a rear chinlock.  I imagine that when a match goes to commercial, the entire commercial break is just the heel holding the face in a rear chinlock.  Too bad I’ve never been to a TV taping to see if it’s true.  Cena starts his usual comeback.  Edge gets a near fall with an Oklahoma roll.  Cena gets a near fall with a schoolboy.  Edge gets a near fall with his implant DDT.  They tease an F…Attitude Adjuster off the middle rope, but Edge sends Cena crashing out of the ring.  Cena barely beats the count back in.  Cena makes his comeback.  He goes for the Attitude Adjuster, but Edge locks in his leg hold.  The Edgeucator?  Is that what it’s called?  Edge goes for the spear, but Cena locks in the STF.  Edge gets a rope break and hits the spear for a near fall.  Edge brings in the title belt.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjuster, but Edge hits him with the belt to cause the DQ at 12:19.  Cena wins by DQ, Edge keeps the belt.  Edge makes it up to the stage and sits down.  Big Show comes out, followed by Vickie Guerrero.  Vickie announces that Show is the #1 Contender for WrestleMania.  Edge looks shocked, Cena looks disappointed, Show looks happy, and the crowd doesn’t care.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/16/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then Lillian Garcia introduces the General Manager of Smackdown, Vickie Guerrero.  She in turn introduces, Edge, who in a strange turn of events last night at No Way Out became World Heavyweight Champion.  As they make their way to the ring, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us LIVE to Spokane, Washington.

Edge throws out some possibilites as to what the R in Rated R Superstar stands for, then he says all the fans were wrong when they thought he was done for the night after he lost the WWE Championship last night.  Then he runs around and acts like a moron.  Vickie tries to speak over loud boos.  She says that since Stephanie McMahon left No Way Out to accompany Shane to the hospital, she became the highest ranking WWE official there.  She says that since Kofi Kingston was physically unable to participate in the Elimination Chamber match, she used her authority to give his slot to someone deserving.  She fails to mention that Edge was the one who made Kofi physically unable to enter the Chamber.  Then she gives her annoying “excuse me” line, and she and Edge make out.  Gross.  Cena’s music hits.  He’s all smiles, even though he lost the title last night after taking everybody’s finish.  Cena congratulates Edge and says he won the match last night fair and square.  He then mentions another possibility for what the R could stand for: Rematch.  Edge says no, because he wrestled in two Elimination Chamber matches last night.  Cena tells them to go back to Smackdown and say hello to Festus and Funaki for him, then gets sick at the thought of Edge and Vickie being intimate together.  Edge recaps his history with Cena, bringing up the time he slapped Cena’s dad.  Cena tells Edge he can’t hide or run from him.  I’m guessing we get Cena/Edge #849 at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon is backstage.  He challenges Randy Orton to an unsanctioned fight tonight.  Commercial.

WrestleMania hype commercial.

WWE Intercontinental Champion CM Punk & Cryme Tyme vs. William Regal (w/ Layla), Ted Dibiase Jr., & Cody Rhodes.  Punk and Cody start.  They trade hammerlocks.  Cody slams Punk, the Punk nails him with a kick and hits the Go 2 Sleep.  Regal attacks Punk before he can make the cover.  Commercial.  When we come back, the bad guys are getting heat on Punk.  Half assed hot tag to JTG.  Dibiase hits a new version of his move, called the Dream Streak, on JTG for the win at 8:10.  Weak match, with not nearly enough shown on TV.

Stephanie tries to talk Shane out of fighting Orton tonight.  Shane says the fight is happening tonight whether Orton wants it or not.

No Way Out highlight video.

Tonight: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix for the Women’s Championship.

Chris Jericho is in the ring, ripping into Mickey Rourke, then Wrestling Legends in general.  “Rowdy” Roddy Piper comes out.  He puts over Jericho for always speaking his mind and backing it up in the ring.  Now, however, he spends his time blasting legends.  Piper goes on about old times and the life of a legend.  Jericho gets a cheap shot and kicks Piper in the ribs a few times while berating him.

Todd Grisham is backstage with Randy Orton.  Orton says he’ll fight Shane tonight, and he won’t need Dibiase and Rhodes to help him.

Another WrestleMania video, this one highlighting WrestleMania IX.

Jamie Noble is in the ring.  He talks about Chavo Guerrero only lasting nine (WWE for eleven) seconds against Kane at WrestleMania last year.  He said he could last longer, so Kane comes out so we can find out.

Kane vs. Jamie Noble.  Noble tries to fight, but Kane hits the chokeslam for the win at 15 seconds.  Hey, he did last longer than Chavo!

The announcers talking about Shawn Michaels winning his freedom from JBL last night.  JBL (w/ black eye) is on his way to the ring to make an announcement.

Christian returned on ECW last week, and he’s focused on Jack Swagger’s ECW Championship!

Tonight: Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon in an unsanctioned fight!

JBL comes out.  He doesn’t own Michaels anymore, and doesn’t care.  He’s richer than us.  JBL says he wants to end The Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania.  Shawn Michaels comes out, and he’s got his HBK strut back.  He blathers for a while, then gets to the point: He should be the one to face Undertaker at WrestleMania.  They agree to face each other next week, with the winner challenging Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Video package recapping the Orton vs. McMahons angle.  Orton and Shane fight TONIGHT!

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox.  Mysterio was pretty much a one man show last night.  He carried the Raw Chamber match.  Knox beats on Rey and throws him out of the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, Knox beats on Mysterio.  Rey tries to fight back, but keeps getting shut down.  Mysterio finally manages to escape a bear hug and makes his comeback.  Mysterio hits the 619, but misses the Bombs Away.  Knox catches Mysterio springboarding off the ropes and ties him to the Tree of Woe.  Rey dodges a charging Knox and schoolboys him for the win at 9:43.

Beth, Santino, and Rosa are heading to the ring!

Saturday Night’s Main Event DVD!  BUY IT!  I have it.  I’ll watch it one of these days.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Melina (c) vs. Beth Phoenix (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez).  Beth attacks Melina with vigor from the opening bell.  Santino has a bit of a new look.  Beth gets a near fall off of a slingshot suplex, then stretches her.  Melina fights back, but takes a vicious backbreaker.  Beth sends Melina out of the ring and distracts the referee while Rosa takes a shot at her.  Mickie James, Candice Michelle, and Kelly Kelly come out and beat up Santino.  Melina gets back in the ring and pins Beth win an inside cradle at 2:51.

Cole and Lawler hype the 2009 Class of the Hall of Fame.  Steve Austin has already been announced.  Joining him in the Hall of Fame are the Funk brothers, Dory and Terry!  They were the only brothers to both be NWA World Heavyweight Champion.  They will be inducted by Dusty Rhodes.  Commercial!

ECW tomorrow night: Christian & Finlay vs. Jack Swagger & Mark Henry.

Stephanie is on the phone urging someone to hurry up and get to the arena.  The call gets dropped.  Damned AT&T.

Next week: JBL vs. Michaels with the winner earning the right to be the next victim of Taker’s streak at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon and Randy Orton come out and fight.  Shane kills Orton and sets up for the Van Terminator, then Dibiase and Rhodes run in and beat up Shane.  Orton punts Shane.  Stephanie comes out to check on Shane.  Orton RKOs Stephanie.  He looks shocked at what he did.  That explosive diarrhea must have kicked in again.  Triple H runs down and checks on Stephanie as Legacy bails, so I guess they’re finally going to admit that they are married.  Triple H is either mad or retarded.  Fade to black.

WWE Monday Night Raw 11/15/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

The recognized symbol of excellence in sports entertainment!  Awesome Raw open with current starts in an old style open.  Pyro and ballyhoo!  Old school logos, sirens, etc.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers and are in old school attire.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Mean Gene Okerlund comes out to the old school interview podium.  He introduces “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr.  He starts to introduce Randy, but Bob says he’s not there yet.  Okerlund interviews Orton about his son’s chances at Survivor Series.  He says something I didn’t catch that angers the crowd.  Wade Barrett comes out and chastises him about being old and whatnot.  The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz talks about being a dick last week and his Money In The Bank privilege.  He says he might cash in tonight and fuck up the Survivor Series main event, somehow forcing Cena to stay in Nexus forever.  John Cena appears on the screen and tells Miz that he’s not going to allow any such frivolities and challenges Miz to a match tonight.  Miz accepts.  Commercials.  This is fun, with the old school set and music and all.

WWE.com plug.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Mark Henry.  OLD SCHOOL INSET PROMOS DURING ENTRANCES!  Henry comes out to the Sexual Chocolate theme!  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Henry throws him out of the ring.  Blue ring apron, posts, and steps!  Red, white, and blue ring ropes!  Old school logos on the turnbuckle pads!  Referees wearing light blue shirts and bow ties!  This rules.  Henry beats up Ziggler.  Ziggler fails to apply the sleeper hold again.  Ziggler gets crotched on the top rope and falls to the floor.  Sexual Chocolate leers at Vickie, then press slams Ziggler back into the ring.  Ziggler dropkicks Henry’s knee and puts the boots to him.  Ziggler beats up Henry.  Henry hits a powerslam, but Ziggler gets a foot on the bottom rope.  Ziggler avoids getting squashed by a big splash and hits a Fameasser for 2.  Cole called it the Zig Zag because he’s mentally retarded.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pi… no, 2!  Amazingly, Cole didn’t call it the Fameasser.  Ziggler locks in a scissored sleeper and wins by referee stop in 4:27.  The environment made this way more fun to watch than it should have been.

The Hart Dynasty chat backstage about working through their problems.  They encounter Tony Atlas, who babbles about teaming with Rocky Johnson back in the day and rubs WD-40 onto his skin.  Hilarious.  Commercials.

Backstage, Tony Atlas is STILL rambling!  Yoshi Tatsu is listening, and feigns committing seppuku.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Nexus vs. The Hart Dynasty.  Smith and Slater start with a great wrestling exchange.  Gabriel throws some kicks, but Smith catches one and trips him.  Smith beats up Gabriel.  Smith hits ROLLING BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES for 2.  Slater saves.  Slater tags in.  Smith powerslams him and hits a leg drop for 2.  Smith goes for the running powerslam, but gets distracted by Gabriel.  Slater gets the advantage on Smith.  Nexus make quick tags and work Smith over.  Smith goes to tag in Kidd, but Kidd TURNS HEEL and kicks him in the head!  Gabriel hits the 450 splash on Smith for the pin in 3:05.  The Hart Dynasty has finally collapsed!

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews WWE Champion Randy Orton (w/ his dad, “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jr.).  R-Truth interrupts to tell him about how Cena is going to fuck him on Sunday.  Orton says he’s going to kick Cena in the head tonight to keep that from happening.  Commercials.

Random note: I also love the old school shirts everyone is wearing tonight.

Old school WWEShop.com plug with Mean Gene plugging old school merchandise!

Justin Roberts introduces Howard Finkel, who will be doing ring announcing for at least the next match.  He’s still awesome.  He should be doing ring announcing full time!  He introduces The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Whippleman)!  They heel on the crowd and issue an open challenge to anyone from “the new school.”  ZEKE accepts!

The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Whippleman) vs. Ezekiel Jackson.  Zeke hits a shoulder block.  Brawler talks shit, shoves Zeke, and tries to slam him.  Zeke mauls him.  Zeke hits the Book of Ezekiel for the pin in 50 seconds.  Awesome!

Tonight, John Cena vs. The Miz!  Old school match graphics!  Commercials!

The 5 lesser members of The Nexus are backstage.  David Otunga says that somebody needs to deal with R-Truth.  He calls himself “leader,” which Barrett overhears.  Barrett tells Otunga that he’ll be the one facing R-Truth tonight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  Shouldn’t they use an old computer for this?  iBooker says Otunga already has a “special” match tonight, so Barrett will face R-Truth tonight.  Barrett is fine with this.  Harris says they have his back, but Barrett says he’ll handle this.  John Cena comes in to talk about whatever.  Barrett orders Harris and McGillicutty to have Cena’s back tonight.  Cena declines.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night, but it’s written OLD SCHOOL!

John Cena and The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) come out for their match.  They show Miz screwing Randy Orton in the 10-man tag last week.  Miz cuts a promo and sends Riley to fight in his stead.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley (w/ The Miz).  They lock up.  Cena hits a snap mare.  Cole babbles about not knowing what year it is.  Cena outclasses Riley some more.  Riley lands an elbow smash.  Miz decks Cena behind the referee’s back.  Riley pounds on Cena.  Cena fights back, but misses Riley in the corner and eats turnbuckle pads.  Riley beats up Cena some more.  Riley hits a move that we don’t see because the camera was focused on Miz for 2.  Retarded camera work in this match.  Cena makes his comeback.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, then locks in the STF for the win in 3:43.  It was fine.

Randy Orton runs out and brawls with Miz.  Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty jump Orton.  Orton kicks their asses.  Cena and Orton face off and brawl.  The old school referees and officials (including Tony Garea!) break them up.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker.  Ugh.  iBooker says that later tonight, Cena and Orton will be guests on Piper’s Pit!  Thank God we don’t have to suffer through another Orton/Cena match tonight.  Commercials!

The recognized symbol of excellence in sports entertainment!  They play that and the open again.  I don’t know why, and I don’t care.  It’s cool.

Cole and Lawler talk.

Howard Finkel introduces The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff!  Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem.  In 2010.  Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov come out.  Kozlov wants to sing the Soviet anthem with Volkoff!  They sing!  This rules!  Santino stops them because it’s awful.  He wants to sing his own song.  He brings out THE DOCTOR OF STYLE, SLICK!  SLICK COMES OUT TO JIVE SOUL BRO!  THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW EVER!  Sheik babbles incoherently.  I can’t believe they gave that man a live mic.  The Usos come out.  We’ve got a tag title #1 Contender match next.  In the Usos’ corner will be JIMMY “SUPERFLY” SNUKA!  Commercials.

WWE Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka & Tamina).  JIP.  The Usos get the heat on Santino.  Santino hits Jey with a judo throw and gator rolls him to the corner.  Kozlov tags in and hits Jey with a fall away slam.  Santino tags in and hits a slam thingy for 2.  Kozlov tags back in and beats up Jey some more.  Jimmy blind tags in and takes out Kozlov’s leg.  Jimmy hits a jumping headbutt for 2.  Jimmy hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Jimmy works a rear chin lock.  Kozlov breaks free and knocks Jimmy across the ring with a battering ram headbutt.  Jey tags in and cuts Kozlov off from making the tag.  Santino gets knocked off the apron, then distracts the referee so his partner can get double teamed.  The Usos work over Kozlov.  Jimmy tries to knock Santino off again, but Santino decks him.  Kozlov makes the hot tag to Santino, who runs wild on Jimmy.  Confusion ensues.  Actually, I think that’s Jey getting run wild upon.  Santino hits the Cobra on Jey for the pin (about 5 1/2 minutes shown).  This wasn’t any good.

Sheamus runs in, drops Kozlov and the Usos, and goes after Santino.  Santino begs off.  John Morrison appears, low bridges Sheamus out of the ring, and knocks him off the apron with an enzuigiri.  Morrison says he keeps attacking Sheamus because Sheamus is a bully who will run away when confronted.  He challenges Sheamus to fight.  Sheamus does just as Morrison said he would and leaves.

Tonight, Piper’s Pit with Cena and Orton!  Commercials!

The Survivor Series song is some crappy song by some crappy band.

David Otunga vs. Kofi Kingston.  Inset promo from Kingston!  Kingston lands some leg kicks, then grabs a side headlock.  Otunga catches a cross body and slams Kingston.  Otunga slams Kingston again.  And again.  Cover gets 2.  Otunga grabs a headlock.  Kofi fights out.  Otunga hits what Cole calls an elbow but what looked to me like a back butt for 2.  Otunga grabs a chin lock.  Kofi fights back and starts his comeback.  Double clothesline spot.  George “The Animal” Steele comes out and teases eating the turnbuckle pad.  The referee stops him, so he eats one in a different corner.  Otunga is back on his feet and his like “WTF?”  Kofi gets up and rams his head into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 4:50.  Heh.

Gerald Brisco and Arn Anderson compliment John Morrison on dealing with Sheamus.  Sheamus hits Morrison with the pump kick out of nowhere and accepts his challenge for a match… at Survivor Series.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Aksana walks around backstage with the Million Dollar Championship.  “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan shows up to tell her that her mom is there.  Huh?  It’s Dusty Rhodes with a curly blond wig.  He has Kelly Kelly drop a net on her.  Goldust steals the Million Dollar belt back from her.  He returns the belt to it’s rightful owner, “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase.  Irwin R. Schyster promises to find him a good tax shelter.  Dibiase tries to give the belt back to his son, Ted Dibiase Jr., but Jr. doesn’t want it.  Cody Rhodes says “that ended far from dashing.”  Goldust and Cody walk away.  Dusty says “I raised some weird kids.”  They play Dusty’s “Common Man” theme.  Dusty, Tatanka, and Hacksaw dance. Ron Simmons sees this and says “DAMN!”  Funny stuff.

Earlier tonight, SHIT WENT DOWN between John Cena and Randy Orton.

R-Truth and Eve Torres are headed our way!  Commercials!

WWE.com plug.

“Promotional Consideration Paid For By The Following…”  R.D. Reynolds just WrestleCrapped his pants.

R-Truth (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Wade Barrett.  They brawl.  Truth flips around and hits the break dancing kick.  Truth clotheslines Barrett out of the ring and hits him with a somersault dive.  Back inside, Truth goes up top.  Barrett goes to cut him off.  Truth jumps over him, but Barrett catches Truth with a sidewalk slam.  Barrett his a suplex for 2.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett his a backbreaker for 2.  John Cena and Randy Orton are both show watching backstage.  Truth gets an inside cradle that we almost missed for 2.  Barrett applies a rear chin lock.  Truth makes his comeback and gets a fancy cradle for 2.  Truth hits a front suplex for 2.  Barrett avoids the scissors kick and goes for the Wasteland.  Truth counters, but gets booted in the face.  Barrett hits the Wasteland for the pin in 5:06.  It was fine.

Tonight, Cena and Orton on Piper’s Pit!  Commercials!

They play the opens again.

Cole and Lawler goof off.

Ricardo Rodriguez is here!  That’s 3 ring announcers tonight.  Tito Santana comes out to cut him off and introduces Alberto Del Rio himself!  Del Rio has Chavo Classic driving him!  Del Rio cuts a promo.  He wants the other legends to kiss his ass like Tito and Chavo.  Sergeant Slaughter comes out and cuts an awesome promo.  “Shut your hole, puke, and listen up!  There’s 2 things you don’t mess with: Legends and America!”  He challenges Del Rio to a match.  Del Rio accepts.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sergeant Slaughter.  Del Rio beats on Slaughter.  Slaughter locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Del Rio gets a rope break and elbows Sarge in the face.  Del Rio hits a clothesline for 2.  Del Rio applies a rear chin lock.  Slaughter fights out.  Del Rio beats him up some more.  Sarge locks in the Cobra Clutch again.  Del Rio backs him into the corner and breaks free, then whips Sarge into the corner and hits an enzuigiri for the pin in 1:54.  It was what it was.  Del Rio applies the cross armbreaker after the match.  MVP comes out and runs off Del Rio.

Mean Gene plugs WWE merchandise again.  Commercials.

Cole and Lawler talk.  Cole is being a dick,

WrestleMania tickets went on sale last weekend!

Mean Gene Okerlund brings out Mae Young!  She’s escorted by the Bella Twins.  Poor thing.  They show a really old black & white picture.  Mae was a babe in her day.  They show a video package on some of her exploits.  Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out to be obnoxious bitches and ruin a feel good moment.  Mae Young wants a match “with these sluts!”  She’s a feisty old gal!  “You little bitches, let’s go!”  LayCool laugh.  The bell rings.  This is a real match!  Falls count anywhere!

Handicap Falls Count Anywhere Match: Mae Young (w/ The Bella Twins) vs. Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla.  Natalya, Gail Kim, Melina, and Eve Torres come out and beat up LayCool.  Mae slaps Layla and pins her in 54 seconds!  Awesome!  Commercials!  That was AWESOME!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Howard Finkel introduces JIM ROSS to do commentary on the next match!  YAY!  Michael Cole is not happy about this.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger.  It’s so good to hear J.R. again.  Bryan and Swagger lock up.  Awesome grappling.  Danielson counters out of the ankle lock and lands a Mirko Cro Cop head kick.  Cole needs to shut the fuck up and let J.R. talk.  More awesome grappling on the mat.  Danielson leapfrogs Swagger and  lands a dropkick for 1.  Danielson back flips over Swagger and gets booted in the face.  Commercials.  Cole needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP RUINING THE MOMENT.  Jim Ross welcomes us back to Raw as Swagger has Bryan in a hold.  Cole is BEING A FUCKING IGNORANT PRICK AND NEEDS TO FUCK OFF AND DIE.  Swagger beats up Bryan.  Swagger gator rolls Bryan out of the ring and pounds him on the apron.  I’d give my right nut for the chance to punch Michael Cole in the face right now.  Bryan low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  COLE NEEDS TO FUCK OFF.  Danielson lands a baseball slide dropkick, then hits a flying knee off the apron!  STOP CUTTING TO COLE, YOU FUCKS!  Back inside, Danielson hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan kicks the crap out of Swagger.  Swagger catches his leg and goes for the ankle lock.  Bryan flips Swagger into the corner, then misses Swagger in the corner and hurts himself.  SHUT UP, COLE!  Swagger hits a Vader Bomb for 2.  Lawler finally tells Cole to “shut the hell up.”  Swagger hits another Vader Bomb.  He goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Danielson dead weights him and goes for the LeBell Lock.  Swagger counters into a backbreaker.  Danielson counters the Doctor Bomb again and lands the high kick for the pin in 10:44.  Awesome match that even Cole’s retardation couldn’t ruin.  Ted Dibiase Jr. appears and hits Bryan with the Dream Street, then poses with the United States title belt as his awful music plays.  Maryse comes out just so they can leave together.  Cole needs to fuck off and die.

Survivor Series hype.

J.R. slaps Cole with his cowboy hat!  YAY!

Orton and Cena are headed our way!  Commercials!

Promotional consideration paid for by the following!

Justin Roberts introduces the legends to the crowd: Jimmy Snuka, Bob Orton Jr., Irwin R. Schyster, Tito Santana, Sergeant Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Brooklyn Brawler, Chavo Classic, Mean Gene Okerlund, Howard Finkel, Mae Young, Gerald Brisco, Ted Dibiase, Slick, Tatanka, Tony Atlas, Arn Anderson, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes, George Steele, Jim Ross, The Iron Sheik, and Nikolai Volkoff.  That’s nice!  “Hey, here’s a bunch of our agents and other guys we’ve fired a bunch of times!” -My buddy mhirn.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper comes out to do Piper’s Pit!  He cuts a promo, then introduces John Cena.  Piper bitches at Cena about disrespecting legends by possibly giving Wade Barrett the WWE Championship this Sunday.  He urges Cena to do the ring thing.  Cena replies at length about his respect for the legends.  He says he’ll call the match right down the middle.  That means he’s going to screw someone.  Wade Barrett comes out and says that’s fine, because he doesn’t need help to win, but Cena is still fired if Barrett loses.  Piper bitches Barrett out in awesome crazy old man style.  Barrett bitches at Piper, then Cena.  He forces Cena to put on a Nexus t-shirt.  Why the hell is he just now doing that?  Cena puts the shirt on, then tells Barrett he’s going to turn his face into mush on Sunday.  Barrett says Nexus will kick Cena’s ass before he can hurt Barrett.  WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out, talks to Cena for a minute, then beats up Barrett.  Orton humps the mat.  Cena intervenes before Orton can hit the RKO or come or whatever he’s trying to do.  Orton RKOs Cena and goes for the PUNT OF DEATH.  Barrett cuts him off.  Cena avoids the punt and hits the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett orders Cena to raise his hand.  Cena gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment instead.  He takes off the Nexus shirt and throws it on Barrett.  Piper raises Cena’s hand to close the show.  Why isn’t Miz cashing in right now while the getting is good?

I don’t care if most of the wrestling sucked (I say “most” because Bryan vs. Swagger was awesome), this show ruled!

Starrcade: The Essential Collection Disc 3 (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

Originally posted on my old blog on 2/13/09.

I’m finally back with Disc 3.  This is the first review to be written on my brand new awesome computer!

Road Warrior Animal introduces #9.

#9
Starrcade, 12/13/89
Non-Title, Iron Team Tournament Match: The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. NWA World Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers.  The two Jims (Ross and Cornette) are on commentary.  Scott and Hawk start.  Scott goes for Hawk’s leg, then Hawk hits an enzuigiri.  Hawk catches Scott’s leg, and Scott does a nifty flip out of it.  Scott tags in Rick.  Hawk nails a lariat for a two count from referee Nick Patrick.  Animal comes in.  Rick hits the Steiner Line.  Animal takes over briefly, then Rick hits a belly-to-belly suplex.  Tags on both sides.  Hawk hits a press slam and a fist drop, then covers.  Rick saves.  Hawk hits a big boot for another near fall.  Tag to Animal, who misses an elbow drop on Scott.  Scott hits a belly-to-belly.  Scott runs at Animal in the corner and gets caught with a kick or clothesline.  I forgot which in the time it took to type that sentence.  While I was typing those sentences, Hawk and Scott went at it.  Scott hits a belly-to-belly overhead off the turnbuckle on Hawk.  Animal comes in and works over Scott.  Hawk comes in and beats up Scott too.  Animal tags back in.  Hawk beats up Rick for good measure.  Road Warriors hit the Doomsday Device.  Animal has Scott in a backdrop-style bridge.  Both men’s shoulders were on the mat, but Scott lifts his shoulder at the last second to get the pin on Animal at 7:28.  Nifty old school finish.

Dusty Rhodes introduces #8.  It’s a match from Starrcade 2000.  Oh dear.  Oh thank God, it’s the good one.

#8
Starrcade, 12/17/00
Three-Way Ladder Match: 3 Count vs. Jamie Knoble & Evan Karagias vs. The Jung Dragons (w/ Leia Meow).  Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. are on commentary.  Whoever gets the contract hanging above the ring gets a shot at Chavo’s Cruiserweight Championship.  Kaz Hayashi and Shannon Moore start.  They do a nifty bit, then a painful looking botch.  Okay, this match is already looking like it’s going to be way to fast to type.  Yang and Helms tease going at it, then everyone races for ladders.  The sneaky boy band grab a ladder from under the ring while everyone else goes for the ladders on the aisle.  The Dragons come in and send them out of the ring.  Yang, who would one day become everyone’s favorite Asian redneck, Jimmy Wang Yang, dropkicks a ladder into Knoble (who would one day drop the K) and Karagias (who after the fall of WCW dropped off the face of the Earth).  Knoble and Karagias end up alone in the ring and argue over who is going to take the contract down.  They shove each other, then Yang dropkicks Knoble into Karagias.  Knoble takes a bump into the ladder.  Yang hits the Yang Time on Moore.  Everyone else does suicide dives as Knoble goes for the prize.  Yang pushes the ladder over and sends him into the pile.  They do some crazy awesome spots that would take way too long to explain.  Helms hits a sick neckbreaker on someone.  Knoble hits a sunset flip powerbomb on Helms off the ladder.  Moore hits a rear chinlock drop on Yang.  Knoble goes for the prize, but Leia Meow comes in and stops him.  Yang hits a cross-arm Iconoclasm off a ladder on Karagias.  The Dragons build a scaffold out of four ladders.  3 Count send them crashing into it.  Knoble drops Moore with a Tombstone Piledriver while Karagias hammers Helms.  Hayashi and Karagias take bumps off the ladder scaffold.  Moore hits an awesome headscissors on Yang to bring him off the ladder scaffold.  Helms sends Knoble off, then both members of 3 Count pull down the contract together at 13:46.  Awesome spotfest with lots of insane bumps.

Dusty introduces #7.

#7
Starrcade, 12/13/89
Non-Title, Iron Man Tournament Match: NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair vs. Sting.  Ross and Terry Funk are on commentary.  Flair wins the tournament on a pinfall, submission, or count-out.  Sting needs a pin or submission to win.  If they draw, Lex Luger wins the tournament.  They lock up, then Sting hits a hiptoss.  Flair puts Sting in a hammerlock, but Sting counters with a drop toe hold.  Flair inexplicably sets Sting on the top turnbuckle, then gives a clean break.  They lock up again and Flair tries to out arm-power Sting, which I find foolish.  Sting, of course, powers Flair down.  Sting gets the better of an exchange and Flair takes a breather.  They go at it again and Sting gets a near fall off of a backslide.  Flair nails Sting with chops.  Sting hiptosses Flair again, then dropkicks him.  Flair throws Sting out of the ring, then chops him and whips him into the guardrail.  Flair suplexes Sting back into the ring.  Flair works over Sting and gets a near falls from a ground cobra twist and an inside cradle.  Sting makes a comeback and kicks Flair’s ass.  Sting puts Flair in the Scorpion Death Lock, but it’s way too close to the ropes and Flair gets a break.  Flair attacks Sting’s leg and locks in the figure-four leglock.  Sting escapes it somehow, but Flair keeps on working Sting’s leg.  Sting gets a near fall with another backslide.  Flair stays after Sting’s leg.  Sting counters the figure-four with an inside cradle for the pin at 15:56, even though the time limit was 15 minutes.  Good match, though.  Ole and Arn Anderson come out and raise Sting’s hands in victory, as they’re all Horsemen at the time.  I’m guessing it was soon after this that the Horsemen kicked Sting out for wanting his title shot at Flair.

Dusty introduces #6.  We’re going way back to the first Starrcade for this one.

#6
Starrcade, 11/24/83.
Non-Title, Dog Collar Match: Roddy Piper vs. NWA United States Heavyweight Champion Greg Valentine.  I should mention that throughout the match, the announcers can’t make up their minds if it’s a title match or not.  It’s not.  Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle are the announcers.  Not much to say here, they just brawl and maim each other with the chain.  They both bleed like crazy.  Piper hooks Valentine’s legs with the chain and pins him at 16:08.  Valentine attacks Piper and chokes him with the chain after the match.  Sorry for the short review, but there’s only so many times in one match I want to type “punch” and “chokes (or whips) with the chain).

Animal introduces #5.  Shit, another Scaffold Match.

#5
Starrcade, 11/27/86
Scaffold Match: The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers).  Tony Schiavone and Rick Stewart (who?) are on commentary.  The Road Warriors wait at the top during the ring intros.  Loverboy Dennis Condrey teases climbing up, but chickens out.  MX finally does come up.  The bell rings and the Road Warriors kick ass.  Condrey throws powder in Hawk’s eyes.  Eaton does the same to Animal.  They fight on top of the scaffold.  That sentence will cover the rest of the match until someone takes a stupid, unnecessary bump.  Condrey falls, then Eaton, to give the Road Warriors the win at 7:08.  Ellering takes Cornette’s tennis racket.  Cornette climbs the scaffold to escape and runs right into Animal.  Cornette falls and blows out his knees.

Jim Ross introduces #4, explaining the build up the epic Sting/Hogan showdown in 1997.  In short, Hogan’s nWo ran roughshod over WCW for a year while Sting watched from the rafters and grew his hair out.

#4
Starrcade, 12/28/97
WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Sting.  Schiavone, Rhodes, and Tenay are on commentary.  Nick Patrick is the referee.  Hogan throws his bandanna at Sting.  Sting responds by slapping him.  Hogan panders to the crowd, then Sting slugs him.  Hogan panders some more as Sting just stands there.  Okay guys, you’ve built the moment.  Time to wrestle.  Hogan beats up Sting.  Hogan tries to elbow drop Sting three times, but misses every time.  Sting dropkicks Hogan out of the ring.  Hogan comes back in and they work a headlock.  Hogan comes off the ropes but Sting leapfrogs him and sends him out of the ring with a dropkick again.  They go back and forth, but nothing particulary interesting happens.  They fight outside and Sting hits a Stinger Splash on the guardrail.  Back in the ring, Hogan chokes Sting with his boot.  Hogan hits the leg drop and gets the clean pin.  Bret Hart shows up and says he’s not going to see Sting get screwed.  Hart nails Patrick and takes over as referee.  Hogan tries to run away, but Hart throws him back in the ring.  Buff Bagwell and Scott Norton come in to attack Sting, but Sting is not to be denied.  He hits a Stinger Splash and the Scorpion Death Lock for the victory at 12:53.  Luger, The Giant, and a bunch of jobbers come out to celebrate with Sting.  The Hogan pin on Sting was supposedly meant to be a fast count, and rumor is Hogan paid off Patrick to not count slow.  If it’s true, Hogan is a prick, but a brilliant prick.  The match comes off looking like Hogan won fair and square, then got screwed.

Ric Flair introduces #3.

#3
Starrcade, 11/24/83
Steel Cage Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Harley Race (c) vs. Ric Flair.  Former World Champion Gene Kiniski is the guest referee for this match, the main event of the first Starrcade.  Solie and Caudle are the announcers.  It takes about 10 minutes for the entrances, introductions, and all that jazz.  They do a headlock sequence.  Kiniski warns Flair about using closed fists, so Flair nails Race with some elbows.  Race backs Flair into the ropes and doesn’t give a clean break.  Kiniski chastises him.  Flair backs Race into the ropes and responds in kind.  Race nails Flair with a high knee, but misses his falling headbutt.  Flair nails a chop and covers, but no count.  Flair puts Race down to the mat with a headlock.  Very old school match.  Flair holds him on the mat for a little while, but Race eventually powers up and hits a suplex.  He misses the headbutt again.  Flair goes for a move, but Race falls on him and gets a count.  I think it was just one.  Race gets Flair into the ropes and beats on him, but Kiniski pulls him away.  Race hits a piledriver and something else for a near fall.  Actually I can’t tell if the fall was near because Kiniski counts so slow and quietly.  Race hits a neckbreaker for what I did see was a near fall.  Wrestling in 1983 was a lot different than it is in 2009.  Race hits a powerslam-type move for another close one.  Flair tries to fire back, but Race headbutts him to the mat and finally hits his falling headbutt.  Race rams Flair into the cage and beats on him some more.  Flair finally fires back with chops and elbows.  He’s BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Flair backs Race into the corner but gets headbutted again.  Kiniski is a strict referee.  Flair hits a knee drop and a kick to the head, then a piledriver on his own for a near fall.  Flair hits a suplex for another near fall.  Kiniski is such a shitty referee.  Flair rams Race into the cage, then Race grinds Flair’s face into it.  Kiniski pulls Race away again.  Were referees supposed to be IN THE FUCKING WAY in 1983?  Geeze.  Flair locks in the figure-four leglock.  Race reverses and the roll into the ropes, so Flair has to break it.  Race hits his diving headbutt for a two count.  Race hits a suplex for a two count.  Race beats on Flair in the corner, and Kiniski pulls him away by his hair.  Race goes for a suplex, but Flair reverses it into a suplex of his own.  Ref bump.  They should have knocked him out 20 minutes ago.  Flair hits a cross body off the top rope for the win at 23:49.  The ring fills up with people celebrating with Flair.  This match was probably considered good by 1983 standards, but by my standards it was slow and boring, with a referee who really hindered the match.

Tully Blanchard introduces #2.

#2
Starrcade, 11/28/85
“I Quit” Steel Cage Match for the NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Tully Blanchard (c) (w/ Baby Doll) vs. Magnum T.A.  I haven’t seen this match in a while.  Hopefully it holds up better today than the previous match did.  Schiavone and Caudle are the announcers.  I don’t think we’ve heard that combination yet.  They lock up.  Tully throws a punch, Magnum throws one of his own, and the crowd pops big.  Man, Magnum was OVER.  The crowd comes to life whenever he throws a punch or does anything else for that matter.  Tully gets heat, Magnum makes a small comeback and pops the crowd, Tully gets heat again.  Rinse, lather, repeat, but it’s good stuff.  Magnum goes head-first into the cage and gets cut.  Either Tully gets color too, or Magnum’s blood gets on him, or both.  Tully tries to make Magnum quit, but Magnum responds with a resounding “HELL NO!”  Magnum fights back, but Tully won’t quit either.  Magnum punches Tully in the corner, but Tully gives him an inverted atomic drop, then beats him in the head with the microphone.  Somebody (Baby Doll I presume) throws a wooden chair over the cage to Tully.  Tully breaks it and tries to use a piece of it to stab Magnum in the eye.  Magnum gets hold of the spike and sticks it into Tully’s head, forcing Tully to quit at 14:48-ish.  Really great match.  It’s an old fashioned bloody, hate-filled brawl that still stands the test of time.

Ric Flair introduces #1!  I’ve been wanting to see this match for a long time.

#1
Starrcade, 12/27/93
WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Vader (c) (w/ Harley Race) vs. Ric Flair.  Flair has to retire if he loses.  Schiavone and Ventura are the announcers.  Vader gives Flair a shove and Flair takes a big bump off of it.  Vader beats the snot out of Flair.  With Flair’s honker, that’s not an easy job.  Flair throws some chops, but they don’t phase Vader.  Vader continues to kick Flair’s ass.  Flair finally manages to stagger Vader with chops and punches, but Race attacks Flair outside of the ring.  The interference gives Vader the opening to beat on Flair some more.  Flair hits a few jobs, then Vader hammers him and hits a better version of that shitty slam Mark Henry does.  Vader hits a clothesline off the middle rope.  Vader goes airborne again but Flair moves.  Flair hits a flying chop or elbow to the head, then totally misses a second one.  He hits the third attempt, then a knee drop.  Vader clotheslines him.  Vader hits a superplex, but misses a big splash.  Flair bounces off the ropes, then bounces off of Vader.  Vader throws Flair out of the ring, allowing Race to get in another cheap shot or two.  Back in the ring, Vader tries to splash Flair in the corner.  Flair moves and fires back with chops, but Vader splashes him in the other corner.  Flair throws chops and punches like they’re going to be outlawed tomorrow and finally drops the big man.  Flair attacks Vader’s leg with the ringpost and chairs.  Flair is FIRED UP and hammer Vader with the best punches I’ve ever seen him throw.  Flair fights Vader like a man posessed, even biting him!  Flair punishes Vader’s leg some more, then punches him down and goes for the figure-four leglock, but Vader kicks him away.  Vader misses the Vader Bomb and Flair locks in the figure-four.  Race tries to distract the referee.  Vader manages to get a rope break.  Vader goes up for the moonsault, but Flair moves out of the way!  Flair covers for two.  Race comes off the top rope and accidentally headbutts Vader.  The referee ejects Race.  Flair fires up with chops, then runs into the wall that is Vader.  Flair manages to trip Vader and get the pin at 21:10.  Fucking great match here, kids.  Vader plays the big man heel better than anyone I’ve ever seen, and Flair is Flair.  Great way to cap off a fine DVD release from WWE.