Archive for Rick Martel

WWF at Madison Square Garden 4/6/81

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2015 by Grappleholic

Vince McMahon is commentary. Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Pedro Morales (c) vs. Moondog Rex (w/ Captain Lou Albano). Moondog King failed to unseat Morales last month, so now Rex is taking a shot. Albano is escorted to the back for being crazy or something. Rex holds a headlock for about an hour, then goes to work on the champ’s arm. Vince says that Morales is having more trouble with Rex than he did with King. King beats on Morales for about a week. Morales finally makes a comeback, then gets an inside cradle for the pin in 9:29. 1/2* because it wasn’t completely worthless.

Sergeant Slaughter (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Pat Patterson. Patterson is a fiery babyface. He wants some of Slaughter, but Slaughter appears to want none of it. Slaughter sneaks around and tries to jump Patterson from behind, but gets his ass kicked. Patterson fights dirty with chokes, closed fights, and even a bite to Sarge’s hand. Patterson catapults Sarge into the turnbuckles and scores a 2 count. Somebody is blowing a whistle. Is Bill Alfonso around? Patterson applies a crab hold. Back to their feet. Patterson hits a shoulder block and goes for another. Sarge avoids it and sends him crashing to the outside. Slaughter threatens to dive off the top rope to the floor, but thinks better of it and settles for a kick off the apron. Slaughter is trying to win by count out. He covers his ears to drown out the crowd’s boos. Patterson makes it back in and Sarge goes to work on him. Slaughter goes for a diving knee drop, but Patterson avoids it. Patterson locks in a figure-four leglock. Slaughter suffers, but makes the ropes. They brawl outside. Patterson hits Sarge with a chair, which is apparently fine if you’re on the outside. Back inside, Patterson shoves the ref twice. Sarge rakes his eyes. They brawl. Slaughter shoves the ref. Slaughter and Patterson both throw the ref out of the ring. Sarge applies the Cobra Clutch. The ref comes back in and Slaughter immediately kicks him in the groin. Apparently there are rules, as the referee finally calls for the bell. It’s a double DQ in 13:30. Even in 1981, this company hated finishes. Patterson is angry at the ref. Vince assures us that Pat will apologize to the ref once he cools off. **1/2

Steel Cage Match for the WWF Heavyweight Championship: Bob Backlund (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. Stan Hansen. Finkel announces that the winner will be the one who successfully runs away. Hansen jumps Backlund immediately, but Backlund throws him into the cage and generally kicks his ass. Back and forth brawl. Backlund hits a piledriver and tries to escape. Hansen hits him the ding ding. Lots of ramming of heads into the cage. Hansen bleeds. Backlund avoids an elbow drop. More brawling. Backlund escapes to win in 8:52. Fun brawl. Hansen is none the worse for wear because a cage match where the objective is to run away is fucking stupid. **1/2

“Pretty Boy” Larry Sharpe & “The Unpredictable” Johnny Rodz vs. Tony Garea & Rick Martel. Martel and Roz start. Both sides tag in and out. The heels, Sharpe & Rodz, cut Martel off and get the heat on him. Garea gets a lukewarm tag. Rodz sucks him and lets him crash into the corner. Now they’re working over Garea. Martel gets a much more lively hot tag and runs wild. Clusterfuck ensues. Martel and Garea send the heels into each other. Martel pins Sharpe with a jackknife hold in 7:05. **1/2

It was way more interesting than the show I watched previously.

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WCW SuperBrawl VIII (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

The shows opens with a Sting/Hogan hype video.

Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan are on commentary LIVE from the Cow Palace in San Francisco.  They talk about what’s going to happen TONIGHT, then send it to David Penzer to introduce the first match!

WCW World Television Championship Match:
Rick Martel (c) vs. Booker T.  The winner of this match will defend the title against Perry Saturn later tonight.  Martel offers a handshake, then tries to jump Booker.  He was at worst a tweener on the last PPV, so I’m going to make a wild assumption that he at least half ass turned heel to win the belt from Booker on TV between the PPVs.  Back and forth match early on.  The Flock is in the crowd watching.  They do a lot of the same stuff from their previous PPV match.  The audio on the show is kind of wonky, the commentary isn’t as loud as usual.  Martel sends Booker into the guardrail to get the advantage and builds the heat.  Booker hits a side slam.  He misses an elbow drop but Spinaroonies up and hits an elbow smash.  Martel fights back and gets a near fall off of a powerslam.  Booker fights back again, but Martel hits a spinebuster and locks in the crab hold.  Booker gets a rope break.  Martel hits a crossbody, but Booker rolles through and gets a near fall, then gets another with a reverse cradle.  Martel gets his own near fall with a lariat.  Booker bounces off the ropes and hits a big forearm, then the scissors kick and slam.  Booker goes up top and goes for a crossbody, but Martel ducks.  Martel dives off the top rope, but Booker catches him with the Harlem Side Kick to win the title at 10:33.  Saturn jumps in the ring, tosses Martel, and attacks Booker, which gives us…

WCW World Television Championship Match:
Booker T (c) vs. Perry Saturn.  Saturn locks in the Rings of Saturn, but Booker gets a rope break.  Saturn tries to get the pin with various cradles, then chokes Booker with his shirt.  Booker hits his rollup out of the corner for a near fall, but Saturn immediately goes back to kicking his ass.  Saturn beats up Booker on the outside of the ring.  Booker gets a brief second wind and reverses an Irish whip to send Saturn into the guardrail.  He can’t follow up though, and Saturn jumps on him again.  Back in the ring, Booker gets beat up some more.  Booker catches Saturn with a slam.  Saturn knocks him out of the ring again and hits a dive.  Saturn beats on Booker some more.  Booker ducks a shot and hits a forearm.  Saturn ducks a charging Booker, who takes a funny looking bump bouncing off the turnbuckle.  Saturn hits a backdrop suplex off of the middle rope.  Saturn keeps trying to pin Booker to close to the ropes.  Saturn goes for a superplex, but Booker counters it with a front suplex and hits his missile dropkick.  Everytime Booker hits a move, he has to take a moment to breathe and can’t finish Saturn off.  Saturn hits an Exploder, but now he’s sleepy too.  Saturn finally gets around to making the cover, but Booker kicks out.  Saturn hits a nice belly-to-belly for another near fall.  Saturn hits a springboard moonsault to knock Booker down.  They slowly make it back to their feet.  Saturn beats Booker down and chokes him.  Booker tries to climb the ropes but kind of stumbles back into a Saturn suplex.  Saturn wears down Booker with a chin lock.  Tenay announces that Martel’s knee was injured in the previous match.  Booker and Saturn run the ropes and crossbody each other.  Booker hits a slam, the scissors kick, and a sidewalk slam.  Booker goes for the Harlem Hangover, but Saturn moves.  Saturn hits a various suplexes for near falls.  Booker nails the Harlem Side Kick out of nowhere for the win at 14:24.  The Booker/Martel match was fine, though I liked their match from the previous PPV better.  Booker/Saturn was good too and worked well in the context of this whole thing.

I don’t know how true the details are, but according to Wikipedia, Martel was supposed to win these matches.  He injured his knee and broke his leg in the Booker match, so they improvised a new finish.  Then, Booker and Saturn called their whole match in the ring.  Martel would return in July and reinjure himself in his first match back before retiring for good.  I emailed Meltzer and he says it’s true.

La Parka vs. Disco Inferno.  Apparently, they’re feuding over who is the better dancer.  Naturally, the way to settle a disagreement over dancing is to have a wrestling match.  A minute in, La Parka sends Disco out of the ring with a kick and hits a suicide dive.  The audio on this show is very odd.  You can hear what’s going on where the cameras are shooting a lot louder than you can hear the announcers.  Parka controls the match for a while.  Disco has a brief comeback, then gets kicked in the face.  Parka headscissors Disco out of the ring, then hits a tope suicida.  Back in the ring, Disco starts fighting back.  The ref gets nailed somehow while my wife was blocking the TV.  Parka brings his chair in and politely lets Disco sit down.  Parka goes to the top rope.  Disco stops him and goes for a superplex, but Parka counters.  Parka ends up taking a bump facefirst into the chair.  Disco hits the Chart Buster to get the win at 11:41.  Not a bad match, but I thought it was about twice as long as a feud over dance moves deserves.

Mean Gene Okerlund is with JJ Dillon.  Dillon calls out referee Nick Patrick and reinstates him, but he’s not going to be the referee in the main event tonight.

Brad Armstrong vs. Bill Goldberg.  This is a special bonus match.  Armstrong tries, but Goldberg is too much for him.  Goldberg tosses him around a bit and no sells everything Armstrong tries.  Spear, Jackhammer, and the pin at 2:24.  Okay for what is, which wasn’t much.

WCW World Cruiserweight Championship vs. Mask Match:
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Juventud Guerrera (m).  Jericho loves the belt so much he wrestles with it on.  He gets hurt when Juventud spin kicks the belt, so he finally takes it off.  Juventud hits a neat rana off the apron on Jericho.  Jericho plays dead so he’ll get counted out and keep the belt.  Juventud brings him back in.  Jericho goes for a German, but Juventud lands on his feet.  Jericho hits his springboard dropkick the guy off the apron move.  They go outside a bit, then Jericho comes back in and catches a sprinboarding Juventud and Tombstones him for a near fall.  Juventud gets a near fall off of a victory roll.  Jericho locks in a backbreaker hold and thinks he got the win.  He gets angry when he realises he didn’t.  Juventud flies off the top rope and tries the victory roll again, but gets dropped.  Jericho climbs the ropes, but Juventud dropkicks him and he goes to the floor.  Juvi hits a dive to the outside and brings Jericho back to the ring.  Juvi hits a Michinoku Driver and the 450 splash for the pin… but Jericho’s hand was on the bottom rope!  Jericho clips Juvi’s leg.  Juvi counters a move with a front cradle but Jericho kicks out.  Stuff happens kinda quick.  Juvi hits a swank springboard avalanche Frankensteiner.  Jericho hits a reverse brainbuster, but misses the Lionsault.  Jericho goes for the Liontamer, but Juventud counters with a cradle for a near fall.  Juvi goes for a Frankensteiner, but Jericho counters and locks in the Liontamer for the win at 13:29.  Okay match.  It got better after the false finish.  Juvi slowly and sadly undoes his mask.  Jericho, the unsensitive bastard, yanks it off.

Steve McMichael vs. The British Bulldog.  Bulldog goes all out at Mongo to start.  Mongo fights back.  Back and forth power match.  Bulldog puts Mongo in the Sharpshooter.  Mongo gets a rope break.  They spill outside and Mongo kicks Davey Boy’s ass.  Bulldog starts working over Mongo’s arm.  Back in the ring, Mongo does his football tackle a couple of times.  He goes for the Tombstone, but Bulldog grabs a Fujiwara armbar for the win at 6:10.  Mongo gets mad at the referee because he didn’t submit.  I guess it was a referee stop.  Match wasn’t anything special, but not offensive.  At least it was kept short.

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship Match: Diamond Dallas Page (c) vs. Chris Benoit.  Page looks remarkably like a construction worker with elbow pads.  They trade hammerlocks.  Page takes some punishment.  Benoit goes for the Crippler Crossface early, but Page escapes before he can lock it in and bails.  He comes back in and they do a quick pinfall reversal sequence.  Benoit fires up with chops.  Page fights back and goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Benoit slips away and bails to take a breather.  Tempers flare and they start throwing punches.  Benoit works Page over, wearing him down with a sleeper.  Page finally hits a jawbreaker to get out if it.  Page gets a second wind and throws some punches, but Benoit suplexes him and goes back to the sleeper.  Page escapes again, Benoit locks it in again.  Page somehow throws Benoit out of the ring.  Benoit climbs to the top rope, but Page pushes the ropes to crotch him and hits a superplex.  Page hits his spinning lariat for a near fall, then a diving lariat for another.  Benoit locks in the Crippler Crossface, but Page gets a rope break.  Page gets an inside cradle for a near fall.  Benoit covers and gets a two count as well.  Benoit beats on Page in the corner.  Page hits a belly-to-belly for a two count.  Rolling Germans from Benoit for a near fall.  Page hits a big tornado DDT, but Benoit kicks out.  Page goes for the Diamond Cutter.  Benoit counters and goes for a backslide.  Page counters and hits the Diamond Cutter for the win at 15:49.  Really good match.

Cut to the announcers.  Tony announces that The Giant missed his flight and isn’t there tonight.  The Jackknife Powerbomb has been banned since Nash almost murdered The Giant last month.  Video package on the aforementioned Giant/Nash match last month.

No DQ Match:
Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Lex Luger.  There’s a production boo boo during the entrances, as the start of the Steiners’ music plays before Luger’s music.  Luger has taped ribs.  Luger tries a press slam but can’t do it because of the rib injury.  Savage, of course, works on the ribs.  Luger tries to get a quick pin with an inside cradle, but Savage kicks out and attacks the ribs again.  Luger eventually makes a comeback and gets Savage in the Torture Rack, but Elizabeth attacks him.  nWo jobbers run in to cause the DQ in the No DQ Match at 7:21.  Luger and Savage fight off Norton, Bagwell,  Brian Adams, and Vincent.  Hogan comes out and says he’s glad Savage got beat.  Luger is announced as the winner.  All the results sites say the result is Luger by submission, but that’s not how it looked.  Retarded fucking shit.  Ah, on replay you can see the referee signaling for the bell when Savage was in the rack, so the timekeeper is the fucking retard here.

WCW World Tag Team Championship Match: The Steiner Brothers (c) (w/ Ted Dibiase) vs. The Outsiders (w/ Dusty Rhodes).  Hall conducts his survey before the match.  For some reason, the Steiners wear the new tag belts while Dibiase carries the old belts.  Hall throws his toothpick in Rick’s face and Rick throws his fist in Hall’s face.  Rick punches Hall a bunch, then suplexes him.  Nash comes in and gets sent out of the ring.  The Outsiders take a breather as the Steiners do their pose in the ring, then Scott attacks Rick!  Dusty throws Dibiase into the ring post.  The Outsiders and Scott do the nWo sign.  Hall covers Rick… who kicks out!  Rick takes a beating, but then fights back!  Nash nails Rick from behind and Hall goes for the Outsider’s Edge.  He fails the first time, but then hits it and gets the win at 4:18.  Scott hands Hall and Nash the belts.

Uncensored, next month LIVE on PPV!

Michael Buffer is in the ring to introduce the main event.

WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Hollywood Hogan vs. Sting.  Sting charges the ring and Hogan whips him with his belt.  Hogan uses various dirty tricks to get the better of Sting early on.  After about six minutes of being beaten by grandma Hogan, Sting makes a comeback.  Sting takes off Hogan’s belt and whips him with it.  Hogan tries to leave, but Sting follows and chokes him with the belt.  Sting accidentally Stinger Splashes the guardrail and Hogan goes to work on him again.  Sting fights back and hits the Stinger Splash, then locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hogan gets a rope break.  Referee Charles Robinson gets sandwiched between Hogan and Sting in another Stinger Splash.  Nick Patrick comes in as Hogan hits the leg drop.  Patrick makes a fair two count.  Hogan gets angry at Patrick for calling the match fairly.  Hogan goes for the pin about 348 times in a minute, but Sting keeps lifting a shoulder.  Sting powers out and Hogan stops on his hands.  Hogan throws Sting out of the ring, beats him up a bit, brings him back in the ring, and punches him in the balls.  Sting makes a comeback and hits some Stiner Splashes and Scorpion Death Drop, but Hogan kicks Patrick at the same time.  The nWo runs in and Sting fights them off while Savage comes in and nails Hogan with something.  Sting covers Hogan for the win at 16:34.  Sting spraypaints “WCW” on Hogan’s chest.  Long, boring match.

I was expecting good things after Souled Out was such a good show.  This one isn’t very good.  The great DDP/Benoit match is the only saving grace of this show.

WCW Souled Out 1998 (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

The opening video package is all about Eric Bischoff and the Nash/Giant match.

Tony Schiavone welcomes us to the sold out Hara Arena in Dayton.  He, Bobby Heenan, and Dusty Rhodes are on commentary.  They talk a bit about what’s going down tonight.

Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo, Lizmark Jr., & Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Psicosis, La Parka, Silver King, & El Dandy.  Mike Tenay joins the other guys for commentary on this.  For some reason, there was a time when he only called the lucha matches.  I wish that were the case in TNA today, since they only have a few lucha matches every couple of years.  It’s lucha rules here, appropriately.  Psicosis and Calo start.  What exactly was Calo’s gimmick supposed to be?  Lizmark and Silver King comes in.  Lizmark avoids some dropkicks.  King fires up with chops.  Lizmark does some flips and catches him in a backbreaker.  King hits a swinging DDT and covers.  Chavo saves.  Chavo and Dandy come in and have another since exchange.  They take a spill out of the ring and Parka and Juventud come in.  They hit stereo baseball slides onto the guys outside.  Some quick stuff happens while I’m typing.  Juventud his a diving rana and some more fast shit happens.  Lizmark does a neat arm sequence with Psicosis.  Dandy gets a la magistral on Lizmark but Calo saves.  Calo hits a neat headscissors off the turnbuckle.  Silver King does a spinny thing and senton on Calo and covers.  Juventud saves.  He fucks up a little doing something with King.  King and Juventud fight on the top rope.  Juventud pushes him down and hits a 450 splash, but Parka breaks the cover, then hits him with a sit-out powerbomb.  Calo saves.  Psicosis hits a front suplex and a diving leg drop on Chavo.  Calo saves.  Parka tags in and throws Chavo out of the ring.  King and Calo go at it.  Calo gets sent to the outside and King dives, but Calo moves and King crashes.  Calo dives and hits it.  Dandy dives onto Calo.  Juvtentud springboards off of Lizmark onto Dandy.  Parka hits an Asai moonsault on everbody.  Lizmark dives on everybody.  Chavo and Psicosis are the only guys left in the ring.  Chavo hits the tornado DDT for the win at 9:30.  La Parka hits all the winners with a chair, then he hits his partners too.  Awesome match.

Raven comes out with Flock members Kidman, Lodi, Van Hammer, Scotty Riggs, and Sick Boy (last three are guesses, but I think I’m right).  David Penzer announces that the Flock will be banned from ringside.  They leave, and Raven cuts what I assume was his usual promo for the time period.

Raven’s Rules Match: Raven vs. Chris Benoit.  Raven jumps Benoit on the outside to start.  When they make it to the ring, Benoit gets a quick backslide for a near fall.  Raven pounces on him again and tries to stay on top of things.  Raven goes for a bulldog on a chair.  It looked to me like Benoit blocked it, but they play it off like he hit it, so I’ll play along.  Benoit reverses Raven and hits the drop toe hold on the chair.  Benoit fires away with chops and blasts Raven with a clothesline.  Benoit snap suplexes Raven on the chair for a near fall.  Benoit rips Raven’s shirt off and chops him some more.  Benoit kicks Raven’s ass outside the ring, even suplexing him on the ramp.  Benoit takes Raven back to the ring and suplexes him near the chair.  Benoit puts the chair on Raven’s face and hits the diving headbutt!  Benoit is knocked loopy.  By the time he manages to make the cover, Raven is able to kick out.  Benoit goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Raven counters and hits a DDT.  They’re both laid out again.  Benoit wakes up and covers for a two count.  Raven goes for the DDT, but Benoit locks in the Cripple Crossface.  Raven passes out to give Benoit the victory at 10:36.  Kidman comes down, but Dean Malenko shows up and puts him in the Texas Cloverleaf.  The rest of the Flock attacks Benoit and Malenko as Hammer carries Raven away.  Malenko manages to fight off the Flock.  Really good match.  Was this promotion good in early 1998 and nobody told me?

WCW World Cruiserweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  11 years later and both of these guys have been World Champions in WWE.  Who would have thought that in 1998?  Tenay is back on commentary.  Rey’s knee is hurt, but he still goes full speed ahead.  Jericho is sent outside with a headscissors and Mysterio does the 619 back when it was still a fakeout move.  Rey appears to tweak his knee, but when Jericho tries to sneak attack him Mysterio locks in a sleeper.  He ends up getting a near fall with a victory roll, but favors his knee again.  Fuck, Rey used to be awesome.  They tease what might be an awesome rana off the apron, but Rey hurts his knee and Jericho goes to work on him.  Rey fights back and hits an odd Unprettier type move.  Rey eventually hurts his knee again and Jericho locks in the Liontamer for the instant submission at 8:22.  Good match.  Jericho gets upset that the crowd is booing him, so he beats up Rey some more to give them a reason to boo.  He hits Rey’s knee with a trunk.

Mean Gene Okerlund is in the ring with JJ Dillon to talk about the WCW World Heavyweight Championship being vacant.  Dillon talks, then introduces Roddy Piper.  Piper talks, then asks Sting to come out.  Sting indeed does come out.  Piper asks Hollywood Hogan and Scott Hall to come out, who indeed come out as well, accompanied by Eric Bischoff.  Piper tells Hall that even though he won the World War 3 battle royal, he’s not getting a title shot right now.  Piper announces that Sting and Hogan will wrestle for the vacant title at SuperBrawl next month.  Hogan protests.  Sting punks him down.  Hall leaves.  Hogan leaves when notices he has no backup.  Dissension in the nWo?

WCW World Television Championship Match: Booker T (c) vs. Rick Martel.  They lock up and trade hammerlocks.  Martel ends up getting a near fall off of a reverse cradle, then they trade hammerlocks again.  He tries the reverse cradle again, but Booker holds onto the ropes.  Booker works Martel’s arm.  He hits a kick, covers for two, and goes back to the arm.  Martel escapes, but Booker gets ahold the arm again and keeps working on it.  Martel tries to leapfrog Booker but gets headbutted in the gut.  Martel gets mad and stomps Booker in the corner, then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle and drops an elbow on him.  Martel hits a gutwrench suplex for a two count, then a spinebuster for another near fall.  Booker gets a near fall with a sunset flip.  Martel continues to work on Booker’s back.  Booker escapes and catches him with a forearm after some quick moving.  Booker misses a dropkick.  Martel locks in the crab hold, but Booker gets a rope break.  Booker hits the scissors kick and a sidewalk slam, then the Harlem Hangover for the win at 10:50.  Good match.  Martel grabs the belt from the referee, then hands it to Booker and raises his hand.  Perry Saturn runs in and hits an Exploder on Martel

This is a good show so far.

WCW World Tag Team Champion Scott Hall (w/ Louie Spicolli) vs. Larry Zbyszko (w/ Dusty Rhodes). Hall doesn’t wear his tag belt to the ring.  That makes me sad.  Maybe Nash will wear his later.  Dusty leaves the commentary table to be Zbyszko’s second.  Larry gets the better early on and Hall seems befuddled that the old man is outdoing him.  Larry locks Hall in the abdominal stretch.  Hall hiptosses him out of it.  Repeat.  Larry takes Hall down repeatedly.  Spicolli gets in a cheap shot to let Hall take over.  Dusty goes for Spicolli.  Nothing happens with that.  Larry smashes Hall’s face into the turnbuckle, but Hall cuts him off and works him over.  Hall hits the fall away slam, which I always mark for for some odd reason.  He sets up the Outsider’s Edge, but Zbyszko backdrops him out of it and makes a comeback.  Larry accidentally kicks the referee.  Hall hits a lariat and covers, but obviously, the referee is down.  Hall checks on the referee.  Larry plays possum and locks Hall in his chancery hold.  Spicolli attacks Zbyszko.  Dusty comes in and cleans his clock, then hits the Bionic Elbow on Zbyszko!  Dusty takes off his shirt to reveal an nWo shirt!  They all attack Larry, who wins by DQ at 9:16.  I expected this match to be awful, but it was kinda fun.

Scott Norton, Konnan, & Buff Bagwell of the nWo (w/ Vincent) vs. The Steiner Brothers & Ray Traylor (w/ Ted Dibase).  Schiavone is very upset because of Dusty joining the nWo.  He and Heenan call for Tenay to come out and carry the team.  Believe it or not, there was a time when Tenay was a good commentator.  Rick and Bagwell start.  I’ve always hated Buff Bagwell intensely.  His gimmick is so fucking obnoxious.  Rick beats up Bagwell, then Traylor beats up Bagwell, then Rick beats up Bagwell some more.  Why are they not letting Scott have a turn in their game?  Rick tags Traylor back in.  Bagwell makes the tag to Norton, who briefly murders Traylor, but Traylor makes a comeback.  Man, you forget what an agile dude Traylor could be.  Listening to the commentary, there’s something to Rick and Traylor not tagging in Scott.  The bad guys get the heat on Traylor for a bit.  Lukewarm tag to Rick, who gets DDT’d by Konnan.  Scott threatens the referee.  Bad guys beat up Rick.  Traylor and Scott argue in the face corner.  Scott eventually comes in to try to save Rick and argues with the referee again.  Rick makes a hot tag to both partners.  Scott cleans house.  The referee tries to make him get out of the ring but gets shoved again.  He Dragon suplexes Konnan off of Traylor, who finally tags him in.  Scott hits the Steiner Screwdriver on Konnan for the win at 12:20.  Okay match.  Scott and Bagwell have compare physiques and chat after the match.

WCW World Tag Team Champion Kevin Nash (w/ Hollywood Hogan & Eric Bischoff) vs. The Giant.  No tag belt with Nash either.  Sad face.  Stare down.  Nash pokes Giant.  Giant shoves Nash.  They lock up for about half a minute.  Nash grabs a side headlock.  Giant backdrop suplexes his way out of it.  Giant goes on the offensive and Nash bails to take a breather.  Nash comes back in and goes on the offensive.  I use the same phrase over and over again don’t I?  Giant fights back and kicks Nash with a high big boot.  Slow back and forth brawl.  Nash clotheslines Giant out of the ring and DOES A FUCKING SUICIDE DIVE.  Let that sentence sink in for a moment.  Giant catches him and rams him into the post, then puts him back in the ring.  While the referee’s back is turned, Hogan blindsides Giant with a chair.  Giant barely beats the count back in the ring.  Nash is upset he didn’t win by count-out, but takes the advantage Hogan handed him on a silver splatter.  Giant hits a clotheslines, then they knock each other down with big boots.  Nash eventually covers for a two count.  Nash does the punches in the corner spot, but Giant gives him an inverted atomic drop.  Giant makes a comeback and body slams Nash.  He signals for the chokeslam.  Bischoff jumps up on the apron and gets chokeslamed by Giant.  Nash throws coffee in Giant’s face and hits a horribly botched and painful looking Jackknife Powerbomb for the pin at 10:48.  The finish was scary.  Giant is lucky he wasn’t crippled.  Match wasn’t good, but it was quite a spectacle.

Ric Flair vs. Bret Hart.  This is Bret’s first WCW match.  Lock up, headlock, drop, good basic stuff to start.  Bret puts Flair in his own figure-four leglock 2 minutes in.  Flair gets a rope break and rolls to the apron.  Bret suplexes him back in and covers for a two count.  Bret works on Flair with some simple holds.  They get into a slap fight and Flair takes a breather.  Flair comes back in and gets the advantage for a moment, then gets backdropped and slammed.  Bret grounds him with a headlock.  They get back to their feet and Flair throws some punches to get the advantage.  Bret goes for a sleeper, but Flair backdrops him.  Flair low blows Bret when the ref’s back is turned and takes over.  Flair works the leg a bit.  They trade chops and punches.  Bret hits a swinging neckbreaker.  Bret starts working on Flair’s leg.  Bret tries the figure-four around the ring post, but Flair kicks him into the guardrail.  Flair works on Bret’s leg back in the ring.  Flair goes for the figure-four, but Bret counters with an inside cradle for a near fall.  Bret hits a backslide for another two count, then Flair clips his leg and locks in the figure-four.  Bret suffers for a bit, then turns it over, forcing Flair to release the hold.  Flair goes to the top rope and of course gets thrown off.  Bret takes his chest first bump into the turnbuckle.  Flair goes for a Russian leg sweep, but Bret counters and hits his own.  Flair chops Bret.  Bret pulls down his straps.  Flair begs off, but Bret punches him in the corner.  Inverted atomic drop gets Flair out of it.  Didn’t we see that exact same spot in the last match, only more poorly executed?  Bret hits his diving elbow for a two count, then hits a superplex.  Bret locks Flair in the Sharpshooter for the win at 18:06.  Very good match.

Michael Buffer is in the ring to do intros for the main event.  What’s going to follow Flair vs. Bret?

Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Lex Luger.  Bleh.  Savage plays chickenshit and Luger persues him.  Elizabeth hits him from behind allowing Savage to jump Luger and get the advantage.  Liz chokes Luger with Savage’s bandana while Savage distracts the referee.  Luger catches a charging Savage with a boot and starts a comeback, but Liz grabs his foot and lets Savage pounce on him again.  I’ve never seen Liz interfere like this.  Savage and Luger brawl in the crowd.  They make it back to the ring and Luger hits some forearms.  Hall comes down with a chair.  Hogan follows and they chat a bit.  Hall gets on the apron.  Luger sends Savage into him and knocks Hall to the floor.  Luger puts Savage in the Torture Rack for the victory at 7:07.  The nWo jumps Luger after the match.  Sting makes the save and the two WCW supermen fight off the bad guys.  Luger puts Nash in the Rack and Sting puts Hogan in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Luger and Sting celebrate to close the show.

Great show.  Today PPVs are mostly lame matches in between crappy segments.  This show only had one non-wrestling segment in 3 hours.  Besides that, it was just match, match, match, match, and nearly all of those matches were good.  Even Luger and Savage had a decent match (it was kept short and played to their strengths, as Luger sucks and Savage was old even 11 years ago).  I give Souled Out 1998 a thumbs up!

WWF WrestleMania V

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  The World Wrestling Federation: What the world is watching!  The Mega Powers EXPLODE at WrestleMania V!  We’re at the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City, New Jersey!  Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

WWF Women’s Champion Rockin’ Robin sings the national anthem.  She’s terrible.

King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Hercules.  After pre-match shenanigans, Haku jumps Hercules from behind to get the early advantage.  Hercules slams Haku around and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Hercules suplexes Haku back into the ring and hits a couple of elbow drops.  Hercules goes after Heenan stupidly and gets beaten up by Haku on the outside.  Haku hits a couple of backbreakers for 2.  Haku bear hugs Hercules.  Hercules breaks out and Haku catches him with a chop, then chokes him against the middle rope.  Hercules hits a cross body for 2.  Hercules ducks a rebound cross body from Haku and makes his comeback.  Hercules hits a powerslam for 2.  Hercules comes off the top rope, but Haku catches him with a superkick and goes for a diving headbutt.  Hercules moves out of the way and hits a backdrop suplex hold for the pin in 6:53.  It was okay.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews The Rockers.

The Twin Towers (w/ Slick) vs. The Rockers.  The Rockers go with the brilliant strategy of running away at first.  Michaels and Boss Man lock up.  Boss Man sets Michaels on the top rope and slaps him.  Michaels hits a missile dropkick.  Both Rockers deck Boss Man.  Michaels decks Akeem on the apron.  Akeem tags in and prances around.  Michaels does a moonwalk.  The Rockers make quick tags attacking Akeem’s arm.  Akeem tags in Boss Man.  The Towers sandwich Jannetty between them.  Towers make quick tags and Jannetty plays face in peril.  Jannetty ducks Akeem, who accidentally decks Boss Man.  Michaels gets the hot tag and runs wild on Akeem.  Rockers hit a double diving shoulder block on Akeem for 2.  Akeem NAILS Michaels with a lariat and tags in Boss Man.  Boss Man goes for a diving splash, but Michaels moves and covers for 2.  Michaels jumps on Boss Man like he’s going for a rana.  Rockers do some double teaming and hit a double missile dropkick.  Well, Jannetty hit his anyway.  Akeem saves and sends Jannetty outside.  Michaels comes off the top, but Boss Man catches him and powerbombs him.  Akeem hits a big splash on Michaels for the pin in 8:06.  Fun match.

Tony Schiavone interviews Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).

Dibiase and Virgil shake hands with Donald Trump during their entrance.

Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil) vs. Brutus Beefcake.  Dibiase shows off his Million Dollar belt.  Beefcake kicks his ass and throws him around.  Dibiase takes a walk outside, then comes back in and beats up Beefcake.  Beefcake slams Dibiase a bunch and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dibiase comes back in and gets beaten up some more.  Virgil grabs Beefcake’s leg from the outside to let Dibiase get the advantage.  Dibiase chokes Beefcake.  Dibiase hits a diving elbow to the head for 2.  This is getting boring.  Beefcake gets an inside cradle for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Dibiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream.  Beefcake gets a rope break.  Beefcake beats up Dibiase and locks in the sleeper hold.  Virgil gets on the apron.  Beefcake goes after him and gets decked from behind from Dibiase and sent outside.  Virgil beats up Beefcake on the outside.  Beefcake goes after him and gets jumped by Dibiase.  Both guys get counted out in 10:01.  Beefcake sends Dibiase into the post, then chases Virgil, beats him up, and puts him int he sleeper.  Dibiase tries tos ave and gets his ass kicked.  Beefcake tries to cut Dibiase’s hair, but Dibiase bails.  This sucked.

Footage from the WrestleMania brunch with Lord Alfred Hayes and the Bushwhackers.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers.  The Bushwhackers rip Jimmy Hart’s coat off and tear it up.  The Rougeaus jump them.  Rougeaus end up colliding with Hart, then they go outside and hug.  They have a match and it sucks.  Jacques accidentally knee drops Raymond.  They go outside to regroup.  Bushwhackers stomp around the ring.  Rougeaus double team one of the Bushwhackers behind the referee’s back.  Rougeaus work over whichever Rougeau is in the ring.  Bushwhackers hit the battering ram and a double stomach breaker.  One of them pins Jacques in 5:11.  This was the absolute drizzling shits.

Sean Mooney tries to talk to fans, but the Bushwhackers lick him.

Mr. Perfect vs. The Blue Blazer.  Hennig vs. Owen Hart?  I’ll have some of that!  Good wrestling to start.  Perfect slaps Blazer.  Blazer responds in kind.  Blazer hits a couple of slams, dropkicks Perfect out of the ring, and hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Blazer hits Perfect with some European uppercuts, then throws him back inside and cranks on his arm.  Blazer hits some more moves.  Man, Owen was such an athlete.  Blazer hits a backbreaker for 2.  Blazer slams Perfect and goes for a diving splash, but Perfect gets his knees up.  Perfect beats on Blazer and locks him in a camel clutch.  Blazer fights back and hits a powerslam for 2.  Blazer hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Blazer gets a crucifix hold for a close 2 count.  Perfect nails Blazer with a forearm and hits the Perfect Plex for the pin in 5:49.  Best match of the night so far.  It’s sad that both of them are dead now.

Finkel introduces Jesse Ventura to the live crowd like at several other WrestleManias.  I have no idea why.

Footage of Lord Alfred Hayes at a 5K run.  Mr. Fuji enters (in a suit and carrying his cane) to show he’s in good shape.  He finishes.  I smell chicanery.

Run-DMC do the WrestleMania Rap.  I fast forward.

They show the Demolition/Powers of Pain double turn at Survivor Series.

Mean Gene interviews the WWF Tag Team Champions Demolition.

Handicap Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship: Demolition (c) vs. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji.  Demolition’s music is dubbed over, which should be a capital offense punishable by hanging.  Demolition pummel Warlord to start.  The heels try to cut off Smash, but Barbarian gets pummeled by Demolition too.  Powers of Pain try to cut off Ax, but fail again.  Barbarian drops Ax with a big boot when he goes after Fuji to finally let the heels get some heat going.  Not that there’s any heat because this crowd is dead.  Ax plays face in peril.  Ax avoids a diving leg drop from Fuji.  Fuji tags in Warlord in time for him to cut off Ax from making the tag.  A moment later, Ax makes the hot tag to Smash anyway.  Not that it’s hot in front of this dead crowd.  Smash cleans house.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Fuji tries to throw salt at Smash, but hits Warlord.  Demolition Decapitation on Fuji.  Ax pins Fuji in 8:55.  This also sucked.

Tony Schiavone tries to interview WWF Champion Randy Savage, but Savage won’t talk to him.

After the introductions for the Dino Bravo/Ron Garvin match, Finkel introduces Jimmy Snuka for no apparent reason at the most random moment possible.  Snuka comes out to the ring, poses, and leaves.

Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs. Ron Garvin.  Complete shot in the dark guess here: This will suck.  Bravo jumps Garvin from behind and beats him up.  Bravo tries a powerbomb or something, but Garvin punches him down and covers for 2.  Garvin makes his comeback.  Big splash for 1.  Garvin softly pushes Bravo’s head into the top turnbuckle.  Garvin gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Garvin clamps on a sleeper hold.  Garvin goes for a piledriver, but gets backdropped, holds on, and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Bravo hits the side suplex for the pin in 3:59.  This sucked as well.  Garvin decks Bravo after the match, then gives Martin the Garvin Stomp.

The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Strike Force.  Busters beat up Martin in classic awesome Busters fashion.  Martel fights back.  Strike Force send the Busters outside with a double dropkick.  Martel wrestles with Anderson, which is great stuff.  Martel gets Anderson in the crab hold, but Tully thumbs Martel in the eye immediately.  Tully and Tito tag in.  Strike Force put the Busters in stereo figure-four leglocks.  Tully has an awesome exchange with Tito.  Tito inside cradles Tully for 2 after some Busters double teaming.  Tito accidentally hits Martel with a flying forearm.  Busters work over Tito.  Anderson goes up top, but Tito throws him off Flair-style.  Tito goes to make the tag, but Martin refuses.  Martel leaves.  The Busters tear Santana apart.  Tito tries to fight back but gets cut off.  Busters hit a spiked piledriver.  Anderson pins Santana in 9:17.  Really fun little match.  I love all four of these guys.

Mean Gene interviews Rick Martel.  He says he’s tired of carrying Tito.

Gorilla and Ventura discuss Martel’s heel turn.

Finkel introduces Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pit, but Brother Love comes out instead.  He’s wearing a kilt.  He interviews… himself, playing “Rodney Piper.”  Morton Downey Jr. comes out and insults Love a bunch.  Roddy Piper comes out for real.  Piper makes fun of Love while Downey smokes a cigarette and takes his socks off and throws them out of the ring.  WTF?  This is stupid.  Downey throws cigarettes at Piper.  Brother Love finally leaves or something and Piper talks to Downey.  Piper gets annoyed at Downey blowing smoke in his face.  Piper asks Downey to light a cigarette for him, then sprays him with a fire extinguisher.  18 minutes of retarded filler to waste perfectly good PPV time.  Fuck this shit.

No Holds Barred movie trailer.  I saw that movie when I was 12 and was kind of amused by it.

Sean Mooney interviews Donald Trump at ringside.  Man, Mooney was bad here.

Ventura is mad that Hogan is making movies.  Well, his movies are all pretty terrible.

Mega Powers history video.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.

Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  Big John Studd is the special guest referee.  Andre attacks Roberts as soon as he gets in the ring and sends him into an exposed turnbuckle.  How did it get exposed?  Jake fights back and goes for the snake bag, but Andre cuts him off and puts him in a half assed sleeper or something.  Studd warns Andre about driving his ass into Roberts’ crotch in the corner.  Andre chokes Roberts a bunch.  Andre methodically (see: boring) beats up Roberts.  Roberts fights back and Andre does his “tied up in the ropes” bit.  Roberts beats up Andre.  Andre gets free and beats up Roberts some more.  Roberts fights back.  Andre chops Roberts out of the ring.  Andre keeps attacking Roberts to keep him out of the ring.  Studd and Andre argue.  Roberts gets the snake bag.  Andre and Studd shove each other.  Ted Dibiase attacks Roberts from behind and steals the snake.  Roberts follows Dibiase up the aisle, decks him, and takes the snake back.  Andre chokes Studd.  Jake throws the snake in the ring to run Andre off.  Studd DQ’s Andre to give Roberts the win in 9:40.  This was the absolute drizzling shits in a show full of shit.

Sean Mooney talks to some idiot fan in the cheap seats.

Tony Schiavone interviews Sensational Sherri, who vows to take the Women’s title back and trash talks Miss Elizabeth.

The Honky Tonk Man & Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation.  Honky & Valentine aren’t yet known as Rhythm & Blues.  Hart and Honky lock up.  I want to take Jimmy Hart’s megaphone and shove it up his ass.  Hart gets a reverse cradle for 2, then hits some atomic drops.  Valentine tags in and gets one too.  Hart dropkicks Valentine.  Hart tags out and slingshots Neidhart into a shoulder block on Valentine.  Hart tags back in and hits a backbreaker and goes for a diving elbow drop, but Valentine avoids it.  Honky tags in and they double team Hart behind the referee’s back.  Jimmy Hart is so fucking obnoxious.  Bret plays face in peril.  Honky hits the Shake, Rattle, & Roll on Bret.  Valentine goes for the figure-four when some kind of leg gimmick, but Bret blocks it.  Valentine cuts him off from making the tag and hits a gut buster for 2.  Bret catches Honky with a cross body for 2.  Neidhart gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Neidhart gets some near falls on Valentine, but Honky saves.  Honky tags in and gets beaten up by the Harts.  Bret hits a suplex for 2, as Valentine saves, then knocks Neidhart off the apron.  Neidhart chases Jimmy Hart around the apron.  Jimmy throws the megaphone in, but Bret catches it and hits Honky in the arm.  This somehow allows Bret to pin Honky in 7:40.  Pretty decent match besides the stupid finish.

Footage of the stupid Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior pose down from the Royal Rumble.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Ultimate Warrior (c) vs. Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Awesomely, Rude has the title belt airbrushed on his tights.  Rude knees Warrior in the belt and hurts himself.  Warrior pushes him around.  Warrior bear hugs Rude.  Rude also has Warrior’s face airbrushed on the ass of his tights.  Rude hits a missile dropkick for 1.  Warrior slams Rude a couple of times and goes back to the bear hug.  Warrior bites Rude’s head, hits a back body drop, and goes for the big splash, but Rude gets his knees up.  Rude hits a piledriver for 2.  Rude hits a chin crusher and tries to dance, but his back is hurt.  Rude hits a clothesline for 2.  Rude hits a side Russian leg sweep (Monsoon calls it a neckbreaker) for 2.  Rude pulls Warrior’s arms back.  Warrior reaches the ropes and shakes them, then breaks loose.  Warrior hits a shoulder block and a face buster.  Two face busters.  Warrior hits a backbreaker, then stumbles and drops him.  Not sure what that was supposed to be.  Warrior throws Rude around some more.  Rude avoids a Stinger Splash and goes for the Rude Awakening, but Warrior powers out and hits a clothesline.  Warrior takes Rude outside, then right back in, clotheslines him out, and tries to suplex him back in.  Heenan grabs Warrior’s feet and holds on as Rude lands on top and gets the pin in 9:42.  This was pretty bad.  Warrior hits a horribly sloppy press slam on Heenan after the match.  Poor Brain.  Poor anyone who had to work with that fuck Warrior.

Bad News Brown vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  Brown goes on the attack immediately and beats up Duggan.  Duggan fights back, so Brown bails.  Brown gets back the apron and Duggan slingshots him back in.  Bad News headbutts Duggan and rams his head into the turnbuckle.  This only strengthens Duggan.  They fight some more.  They go to the floor.  Bad News sends Duggan into the post.  Back inside.  Duggan avoids the Ghetto Blaster and hits the tackle clothesline.  Brown bails and comes back with a chair.  Duggan grabs his 2×4.  They have a sword fight and get double DQ’d in 3:47.  Duggan hits Brown with the 2×4.  I apologize to the Bushwhackers, Rougeaus, Andre, and Jake.  THIS was the absolute fucking drizzling shits.

Mean Gene interviews The Red Rooster.  Seriously.

Bobby Heenan (w/ The Brooklyn Brawler) vs. The Red Rooster.  Heenan begs off.  Rooster rams his head into the turnbuckle.  Rooster beats up Heenan.  Heenan runs into the middle turnbuckle and Rooster gets the pin in 32 seconds.  Not the worst match on the show.  Brawler attacks Rooster after the match.  When Rooster tries to fight back, Brawler and Heenan run away.

Mean Gene interviews Miss Elizabeth.  She’ll be in a neutral corner for the main event.  She’s sad.

Tony Schiavone is in the empty locker room.

Sean Mooney is out amongst the marks.

WWF Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) vs. Hulk Hogan.  Miss Elizabeth is in a neutral corner.  Savage bails before any contact is made.  He throws a Hulkamania finger in the ring for some reason.  They finally lock up.  Hogan shoves Macho away.  Savage hides on the apron briefly, then they lock up again.  Hogan knocks Savage down with a shoulder block and Savage bails again.  They lock up again and Savage finally gets the advantage working a side headlock.  When Hogan tries to fight back, Savage bails again.  Hogan chases Savage around the ring, then hides behind Elizabeth like a dick.  Back inside, Hogan actually does a wrestling takedown and works a side headlock of his own.  Savage hits a backdrop suplex and goes for an elbow drop, but Hogan avoids it and punches him a bunch.  Hogan wrings Savage’s arm.  Savage thumbs Hogan in the eye and hits the diving double axe handle for 2.  Savage works Hogan’s arm.  Hogan escapes it by sending Savage out of the ring.  I love the way Jesse calls the faces out when they cheat and Monsoon acts like it’s okay.  Hogan drops Savage and hits a couple of elbow drops and a boot scrape.  Savage hits a clothesline for 2.  Hogan is bleeding.  Hogan rallies and hits an atomic drop.  He goes for an elbow drop, but Savage avoids it, rams him into the corner, and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Savage beats up Hogan.  Hogan rams Savage’s head into the turnbuckle and punches him a bunch, then clotheslines him in the corner.  Hogan body slams Savage out of the ring.  Liz goes to check on him, but he gets mad at her.  Savage pulls Hogan out of the ring and tries to ram him into stuff, but fails.  One side of the ring skirt has come off.  Hogan rams Savage’s face into the apron, then picks him up to ram him into the post, but Liz won’t let.  Savage rams Hogan into the post, then Liz checks on Hogan.  Make up your mind, woman!  Savage bitches at Liz and threatens her.  The referee makes her leave.  Good.  Savage hits a diving double axe handle to the floor that rams Hogan’s throat into the barricade.  Savage continues to work on the throat.  Savage slams Hogan and hits a knee drop for 2.  Savage chokes Hogan with his wrist tape, then with his hands.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop.  Hogan throws Savage off the cover and Hulks up.  Punches, big boot, and the leg drop for the pin in 17:55.  Pretty good match that somehow kind of feels like a better match than it is from a wrestling standpoint.  Great storytelling, I guess.  Hogan celebrates.  Replay of the finish.

Other than a few passable matches, this show was long and fucking horrible.

WWF Royal Rumble 1989

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, since this is the anthology version.  The World Wrestling Federation: What The World Is Watching!  Old school PPV opening video hyping the Royal Rumble.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are our announcers, LIVE from The Summit in Houston, Texas.  Howard Finkel is the ring announcer.

2/3 Falls Match: Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) & The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation & “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  It’s “International Rules,” whatever that means.  The powerhouses, Bravo and Neidhart, lock up.  They break and lock up again a couple of times, then Bravo grabs a side headlock.  Bravo shoulder blocks Neidhart to no effect.  Twice.  Neidhart ducks a clothesline and hits Bravo with ones.  They both avoid elbow drops.  Hacksaw tags in to a big pop.  Raymond Rougeau tags in to boos.  Hacksaw slams Raymond and hits a knee drop, poses, then tags in Bret.  Bret rings Raymond’s arm.  Bret leapfrogs Raymond and inside cradles him for 2.  Bret with a sunset flip for 2.  Bret with a cross body for 2.  Jacques tags in, hugs Raymond, then clubbers Bret’s back.  Hart drops Jacques with a clothesline for 2.  All six guys end up fighting in the ring.  The babyfaces clean house.  Jacques Irish whips Bret and Raymond low bridges him out of the ring.  Bravo tags in and hits the side suplex, then tags in Raymond.  Raymond pins Bret at 5:25 after a Doomsday-style Bombs Away.  The Rougeaus beat up Bret some more.  Jacques gets 2 off of a dropkick.  Bret takes his chest first hump into the turnbuckles.  Bravo tags in and covers for 2.  Bravo hits an inverted atomic drop for 2.  Raymond tags in and puts the boots to Bret.  The Rougeaus double team Bret some more.  Bravo puts Bret in a bear hug.  Crowd chants “USA!”  Bret is Canadian, morons.  Jesse totally calls them on it.  Bret fights out.  Bravo makes the tag to Raymond.  Bret gets a sunset flip for 2.  Raymond puts the boots to him some more, then locks him in a camel clutch, then transitions to pulling his hair.  Neidhart tries to save, but Raymond goes right back to the camel clutch.  Bravo tags in and beats up Bret some more.  Bravo whiffs him with a clothesline for 2, then tags in Jacques.  Jacques puts Bret in a Boston crab.  Neidhart gets the hot tag, but the ref didn’t see it!  Raymond puts Bret in an abdominal stretch.  Jacques cheats to help him get leverage while Bravo distracts the ref.  The Rougeaus take turns stretching Bret’s abdomen.  Bret manages to hit an atomic drop on one of the Rougeaus and makes the hot tag to Hacksaw.  Hacksaw runs wild on the French Canadians.  He slingshots Neidhart into a splash on Raymond then Bret does the same.  Hacksaw pins Raymond in 13:56 to even it up at 1-1.  After the rest period, Hacksaw beats up Raymond some more.  Since Hacksaw is an idiot, he gets caught in the heel corner and beaten up.  Jesse totally calls him on it.  I love Jesse.  The heels get heat on Hacksaw.  Bret gets the lukewarm tag and runs wild.  Bret hits a backbeaker on Bravo and goes up for the elbow, but a Rougeau pushes him off.  Some shenanigans happen, Hacksaw whacks Bravo with the 2×4, and Bret gets the pin in 18:42.  Really fun match.

We see Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil) drawing his Royal Rumble number.  He looks displeased.  He calls in Slick to talk to him about something.

The Bushwhackers draw their numbers.  They both get numbers they’re happy with, then swap.

The Honky Tonk Man draws his number and looks pissed.

Bad News Brown draws his number and says “It’s good news for Bad News!”

Demolition draw their numbers.  They say they’re gonna have a long night.

Jack Roberts draws his number.  He says something I couldn’t hear.

The Rockers draw and wish each other good luck.

Mean Gene Okerlund is in the ring to conduct a stupid waste of time pose down.  Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) comes out and cuts a promo.  His opponent is the Intercontinental Champion, The Ultimate Warrior.  Warrior does his usual entrance running around and shit.  What, no Warrior rant?  Heenan bitches about something.  They pose.  I fast forward.  Heenan sprays something in Warrior’s eyes, then Rude beats the shit out of him with some kind of workout bar thing.  The heels leave.  Refs and guys in suits come out to check on Warrior.  He beats them up, then runs to the back.  Whatever.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: Rockin’ Robin (c) vs. Judy Martin.  Robin’s music is hilarious.  Sherri Martel challenges the winner, then leaves.  Robin beats up Martin.  Sherri joins the commentators.  She’s terrible.  Robin dominates until Martin catches her in the gut somehow.  Martin beats Robin up for a bit.  Robin tries a cross body, but gets slammed down.  Robin works the legs a bit and puts Martin in a Boston crab.  They Martin turns it into a cradle.  Robin turns it into another cradle.  Martin fucks up an inside cradle for 2.  Robin hits an elbow drop for 2.  Martin holds onto the ropes to avoid a dropkick.  Martin tries a front suplex, but Robin lands on her feet.  Martin holds onto the ropes to avoid a reverse cradle.  Martin hits a clothesline for 2.  Martin beats up Robin some more.  Robin hits a DDT for 2, then misses an elbow drop.  Martin misses an elbow drop.  Robin tries to slam Martin, but Martin slams her for 2.  Martin gets a backslide for 2.  Robin hits a kick to the middle for 2.  Robin gets an inside cradle for 2.  Fuck.  Robin hits a diving cross body for the pin in 6:25.  This was fucking painful.  Robin’s music is still hilarious.

Sean Mooney interviews Slick, with the Twin Towers.  Mooney asks Slick about his dealing with Dibiase.  Slick feigns ignorance.  Mooney shows him the video we saw earlier.  Slick tells Mooney it’s none of his business.

Mean Gene interviews Rick Rude and Bobby Heenan.

Pre-recorded interviews with Mr. Fuji, Miss Elizabeth, and Jimmy Hart.

Jesse Ventura is sitting in a throne and talking.

King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Harley Race.  Race comes out and tips over Haku’s platform that his chair is carried out on, then kicks his ass.  The winner is King and gets Heenan, I think.  Race beats up Haku, then hits a suplex for 2.  Race taps him with another clothesline and knocks him out of the ring.  Haku counters Race and sends him into the post.  Haku hits Race with chops of the Mongolian and knife edged variety.  Heenan cheers whoever is on offense.  They fight in the ring some more.  Haku whips Race into the turnbuckles and Race does the Flair flip out of the ring.  Haku beats up Race some more.  Haku’s strikes are awesome.  They trade headbutts.  I don’t care if you are Harley Fucking Race, you NEVER headbutt a Samoan!  Does Tongan = Samoan?  Is it close enough?  Race hits a piledriver for 2.  Harley takes another bump out of the ring.  Haku suplexes Race back into the ring for 2.  Race avoids an elbow drop and hits a suplex for 2.  Race throws Haku out of the ring.  Race goes for a piledriver on the floor, but gets backdropped.  Haku rams Race’s back into the ring.  Race gets his piledriver on the floor.  Back inside, Race hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Race hits a clothesline and a headbutt for 2.  Haku makes his comeback.  He slams Race and goes for a diving headbutt, but Race avoids it.  Race capitalizes by… missing a diving headbutt.  Haku connects with a thrust kick for the pin in 9:02.  It was kinda good at first, then it kinda fell apart.  Haku is still King, and does in fact come with crown as illustrated.  Nobody will get that joke.

Pre-taped interviews with Brutus Beefcake, Greg Valentine, Mr. Fuji for the Powers of Pain, Big John Studd, Mr. Perfect, and WWF Champion Randy Savage.

Gorilla and Jesse talk, then Mean Gene interviews Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).

Sean Mooney interviews Bobby Heenan, The Brain Busters, and Andre the Giant.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.

Howard Finkel explains the Royal Rumble Match.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is WWF Tag Team Champion Demolition Ax!  #2 is… WWF Tag Team Champion Demolition Smash!  They say “fuck it” and start brawling.  After 2 minutes of them beating the hell out of each other, #3 is Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Heenan immediately leaves because no managers are allowed at ringside.  Demolition double team Andre.  Andre conks their heads together just as #4 comes out.  It’s Mr. Perfect!  Perfect fights everybody.  Andre throws Smash out.  Ax and Perfect try to get Andre over, but no dice, so they just beat him up.  Ax and Perfect start brawling.  Perfect takes the front bump into the turnbuckles.  Andre chokes Ax, then headbutts the crap out of Perfect.  Andre beats up both of them.  #5 is Ron Garvin.  Garvin, Perfect, and Ax all try to get Andre out.  Still no dice, but Andre does his classic “get tied up in the ropes” bit.  Andre fights everybody off.  #6 is Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Valentine joins team everybody in everybody vs. Andre.  Andre throws Garvin out.  Perfect slams Ax, then helps Valentine try to beat up Andre.  Andre chokes Valentine and Perfect goes back to fighting Ax.  Ax clotheslines Perfect and goes for Andre again, but just gets choked for his trouble.  Perfect pulls Andre’s hair.  Andre chokes Perfect.  #7 is Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  He goes straight for Andre, as they’re currently feuding.  Andre chokes Roberts.  Garvin clubbers Andre from the time.  Andre is still beating the world.  #8 is “Outlaw” Ron Bass!  Andre tosses Roberts.  Bass beats up Perfect, then gets beaten up by Ax.  Andre squashes Perfect and Valentine in the corner.  Andre chokes Valentine some more.  #9 is Shawn Michaels, in his first Royal Rumble!  He goes after Bass.  Perfect eliminates Ax.  Perfect tosses Michaels, who debuts his iconic Rumble spot of skinning the cat back in.  Michaels dropkicks Perfect and almost eliminates him.  Andre chokes Bass, then bear hugs him.  Valentine takes more shots at Andre.  #10 is Bushwhacker Butch.  Jake Roberts comes back in and throws the snake in the ring.  Andre eliminates himself to avoid the snake.  Jake takes Damien and leaves.  The five guys still in the ring brawl.  #11 is the Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart).  Honky and Bass beat up Butch, then Perfect beats up Honky and tries to eliminate him.  Bass saves Honkey.  Some heels whip Michaels and Perfect into each other.  Honky and Valentine try to eliminate Michaels.  Michaels escapes his predicament and beats up Valentine.  Perfect tries to eliminate Honky.  #12 is Tito Santana!  Tito goes for Mr. Perfect.  Tito runs wild until Bass cuts him off.  Butch tries to eliminate Honky.  Valentine tries to eliminate Tito.  Bass and Valentine try to eliminate Michaels, but Tito saves him.  #13 is Bad News Brown.  Butch and Tito throw Honky out.  Everybody brawls.  Valentine hits an atomic drop on Michaels and almost sends him out of the ring.  #14 is Marty Jannetty.  He brawls with Bass.  The Rockers double dropkick Bass out of the Rumble.  Tito hits the flying jalapeno on Valentine, then he and Butch try to bundle Valentine out.  Valentine pokes Tito in the eye to escape.  #15 is WWF Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage!  Savage goes right after Bad News, kicking his ass before he even takes his sunglasses off.  Valentine clobbers Savage.  Everybody brawls.  It’s almost 2 AM and I’m getting sleepy.  #16 is Arn Anderson (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Savage eliminates Valentine, who had a hell of a run.  Savage and Anderson double team Michaels out of the Rumble.  Jannetty beats up Anderson.  Butch and Tito try to eliminate Perfect.  Savage tries to eliminate Bad News, who kicks the crap out of him.  Anderson stupidly goes up top.  Marty hits Arn and he crotches himself.  #17 is Tully Blanchard (w/ Bobby Heenan).  The Brain Busters double team Butch.  Bad News and Savage are still going at it.  Butch chokes Arn with his foot in the corner.  Marty beats up Tully.  Perfect and Savage fight.  Anderson hits a spinebuster on Marty!  The Brain Busters beat up Marty and struggle to dump him out.  Butch nails Arn.  Tully manages to eliminate Marty.  #18 is Hulk Hogan  Hogan immediately dumps Perfect, knocks the Busters’ heads together, and beats up Bad News.  Savage and somebody dump Tito.  #19 is Bushwhacker Luke.  Brown eliminates Butch.  Savage and Bad News brawl some more.  Hogan press slams Tully into the top rope, then fights with Luke.  Luke and Tully double team Hogan as Bad News and Arn double team Savage.  Hogan knocks Tully and Luke’s heads together, then hits Arn with a big boot.  #20 is Koko B. Ware.  Bad News tries to eliminate Savage.  Arn and Luke beat up Hogan.  Koko fights Bad News.  Arn goes up top and Hogan throws him off.  Hogan eliminates Koko, then Luke.  #21 is The Warlord (w/ Mr. Fuji).  Hogan eliminates both Brain Busters.  Warlord gets eliminated immediately by a Hogan clothesline.  Brown struggles to eliminate Savage.  Hogan dumps them both out.  Savage comes in and is like “WTF, man?”  Elizabeth comes out and tries to soothe the situation.  They finally shake hands and hug.  #22 is The Big Boss Man (w/ Slick).  He and Hogan are the only two in the ring.  They brawl.  Hogan hits the Axe Bomber and some elbow drops, then shakes Boss Man’s head.  Hogan slams Boss Man.  Boss Man comes back and kicks Hogan’s ass.  Boss Man hits a piledriver.  Hogan avoids a big splash.  #23 is Akeem (w/ Slick).  Hogan, of course, fights them both off.  He slams Akeem.  Boss Man rakes Hogan’s eyes and the Towers manage to get the advantage.  Hogan knocks their heads together and hits a backdrop suplex on Boss Man.  The Towers squash Hogan in the corner, then throw him out.  Hogan pulls Boss Man out of the ring (under the bottom rope) and kicks his ass.  Akeem goes outside to beat up Hogan.  #24 is Brutus Beefcake.  The Towers double team Beefcake.  Ever the poor sport, Hogan low bridges Boss Man out of the ring to eliminate him.  Hogan and Boss Man brawl to the back.  #25 is the Red Rooster.  He and Brutus double team Akeem.  #26 is The Barbarian (w/ Mr. Fuji).  He fights everybody.  Akeem splashes Rooster.  Barbarian beats up Beefcake.  #27 is Big John Studd.  Studd and Akeem go at it.  The other 3 guys fight too.  Brutus chokes Barbarian with the top rope.  #28 is Hercules.  Herc and Brutus double team Barbarian.  Rooster tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets shoved down.  Herc tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets clubbered by Studd.  #29 is Rick Martel!  Martel tries to get in the middle of Studd and Akeem and gets shoved away.  When we people learn?  Martel goes after Rooster instead.  Beefcake and Hercules work over Barbarian.  #30 is Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil).  See, he bought #30!  Dibiase beats up Hercules and Rooster.  Virgil stays at ringside.  Gorilla and Ventura speculate that he’s allowed to stay because he’s a bodyguard instead of a manager.  Dibiase whips Rooster into the turnbuckles and he Flair flips out of the ring.  Dibiase beats up Hercules.  Hercules beats up Dibiase.  Dibiase begs off.  Hercules beats him up some more anyway.  More guys brawl.  Beefcake puts a Hercules in a sleeper.  Dibiase and Barbarian throw them both out.  Barbarian shoulder blocks Martel into an awkward bump.  Barbarian powerslams Martel and hits a diving headbutt.  Martel dodges Barbarian and dropkicks him out of the ring.  Final four are Martel, Dibiase, Studd, and Akeem.  Martel avoids getting squashed by Akeem and hits him with 2 dropkicks, then tries a cross body, but Akeem catches Martel and eliminates him.  Studd fights both Akeem and Dibiase.  Akeem and Dibiase double team Studd.  Dibiase accidentally gets sandwiched between Studd and Akeem.  Studd eliminates Akeem.  Dibiase tries to bribe Studd.  Studd kinda chokeslams Dibiase into the turnbuckles.  Dibiase tries to get some offense rolling, but Studd kicks his ass.  Studd hits a butterfly suplex, a gutwrench suplex, a clothesline, then throws Dibiase out to win it at 1:05:07.  Virgil tries to jump Studd after the match, but gets his ass kicked.  Studd throws Virgil out of the ring for good measure.  Studd wins the 1989 Royal Rumble!  The Rumble match is always fun.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage and Elizabeth.  Savage says everything is still cool with him and Hogan.

Gorilla and Jesse wrap things up, then we get a sideshow to close the show.

The middle part of this show sucked, but the opener was good enough and the Rumble Match is always fun.  It was an easy to watch show.  I’ll call it a fun time and be done with it.

WWF WrestleMania IV

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 13, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

“The World Wrestling Federation: What The World Is Watching!”  WrestleMania IV!  We are LIVE from the Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey!

Mean Gene Okerlund welcomes us to WrestleMania IV!  He introduces Gladys Knight to sing “America The Beautiful.”

The referees carry a huge ass trophy to the ring.  It will be presented to the winner of the Battle Royal.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are the announcers.  They talk about what’s on tap for tonight.  Bob Uecker is back, too.

Battle Royal featuring The Hart Foundation of Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart, The Young Stallions of Paul Roma & Jim Powers, Sika, Danny Davis, The Killer Bees of Brian Blair & Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, The Rougeau Brothers of Jacques & Raymond, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, The Bolsheviks of Nikolai Volkoff & Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, King Harley Race, and George “The Animal” Steele.  Everybody brawls, except Steele, who is just wandering around at ringside.  Sam Houston gets eliminated, followed quickly by Sika.  Volkoff almost eliminates Brunzell, the one of the Rougeaus almost does too.  Steele keeps fucking with Neidhart, and pulls him out of the ring over the top to eliminate him.  Brunzell got eliminated somewhere in there.  Raymond Rougeau and Brian Blair get eliminated in the same motion.  JYD eliminates Bass.  Zhukov and/or Hart eliminate Hillbilly Jim.  Roma eliminates Davis.  Somebody eliminates Jim Powers.  Race and JYD trade headbutts.  Volkoff, Patera, and Zhukov get eliminated in short order.  Jacques gets eliminated.  JYD eliminates Race.  Brown eliminates Roma.  Hart holds JYD for Brown, but JYD ducks and Hart gets hit.  JYD does his headbutts on the ground.  Hart and Brown double team JYD, then talk strategy.  JYD fights them both, but he’s overcome by superior numbers.  Hart and Brown bundle JYD out.  They act like they’re going to split the win, then Brown drops Hart with a kick, kicks his ass, then throws him out to win it in 9:47.  Hart, pissed that Brown double crossed him, dropkicks him out of the ring and smashes the trophy.

Howard Finkel explains tonight’s tournament for the vacant WWF Championship.  He introduces Robin Leach from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous to read a scroll about it.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. Ted Dibiase (w/ Andre the Giant & Virgil).  They lock up.  Dibiase backs Duggan into the corner and breaks clean.  Repeat, but this time Dibiase tries a cheap shot and Duggan cuts him off.  They trade punches.  Duggan hits an atomic drop and sends Dibiase out of the ring in a hilarious bump.  Dibiase goes on the offensive until Duggan drops him with a clothesline.  Duggan punches Dibiase in the corner, then runs into Dibiase’s boot in the opposite corner.  Dibiase goes to work.  Duggan fights back, but Dibiase rakes his eyes.  Duggan gets a sunset flip for 2.  Dibiase catches Duggan with a knee to the middle, then a fist drop.  Dibiase goes for a suplex, but Duggan reverses it.  Dibiase comes off the middle rope and gets caught with a shot to the gut.  Duggan gets rolling and goes for the three point clothesline, but Andre grabs his leg.  Dibiase hits him from behind, then finishes him with a fist drop in 5:03.  It was a fun little match.

Mean Gene interviews Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.  Gene admires his “package.”

WWE Championship Tournament – Round 1: Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs. “The Rock” Don Muraco (w/ “Superstar” Billy Graham).  They lock up, break, lock up again.  Bravo shoves Muraco into the corner and wails on him.  Muraco comes back and hits a half assed Vader Bomb into an elbow drop.  Bravo hits a couple of elbow drops, then a gutwrench suplex.  Muraco fights back and works on Bravo’s leg some.  Muraco works a spinning toe hold.  Bravo kicks Muraco away and Muraco gets hung in the ropes.  Bravo hits a piledriver, takes too long to cover, and only gets 2.  Bravo goes for another one, but Muraco backdrops him.  Double clothesline spot.  Muraco makes a comeback, but accidentally kills the ref in the process.  Bravo hits his side suplex and covers.  The referee taps him on the back three times, so Bravo thinks he won.  The ref was calling for the DQ.  Muraco wins by DQ in 4:54 because Bravo pulled the referee in front of him.  This match was lame and had a lame finish to boot.

Bob Uecker talks about Vanna White, who is around somewhere, then talks to The Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart.  Honky will be putting the Intercontinental Title against Brutus Beefcake tonight.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat (w/ baby Richie Steamboat).  Steamboat carrying his son to the ring will be something they show when Richie debuts on WWE TV in the future, I’m sure.  They lock up, break, repeat.  Lock up again and do some awesome stuff.  Man, Steamboat has the most glorious arm drags ever.  Steamboat moves fast.  Valentine throws him over the top, but Steamboat skins the cat back in, dropkicks him, then fails at a crucifix.  Valentine beats up Steamboat.  Valentine goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands his feet and rams Valentine into the turnbuckles.  Steamboat works on Valentine’s arm.  Valentine hits an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline, then elbows Steamboat in the head.  They show Donald Trump in the front row.  Steamboat goes for a body slam, but Valentine lands on top for 2.  Valentine hits a gut buster, then goes for the figure-four.  Steamboat kicks him into the turnbuckle.  They trade chops.  Valentine finally falls down.  Valentine hits a shoulder breaker for 2.  Valentine goes for the figure-four again, but Steamboat cuts him off, then rams his head into the mat.  Steamboat hits a diving chop, and Valentine takes a great delayed bump.  Cover only gets 2.  Steamboat rams Valentine’s head repeatedly into the turnbuckles, argues with the referee, then goes up top.  Steamboat hits a diving cross body, but Valentine rolls through and gets the pin in 9:11.  Good match.

Mean Gene interviews Koko B. Ware and The British Bulldogs, who have Matilda back after The Islanders and Bobby Heenan kidnapped her.  They say Matilda has been trained to go after weasels.  Heh.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: “The Natural” Butch Reed (w/ Slick) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  Nothing happens, then they do a little bit.  Reed slow beats up Savage.  Savage fights back, but Reed reverses his suplex attempt.  Reed hits an elbow drop for 2.  Reed ponderously beats up Savage some more.  Reed hits Savage with a clothesline, talks at Elizabeth, then goes up top.  He spent too long fucking around.  Savage throws him off the top, then hits the diving elbow for the pin in 4:08.  It was fine when Savage was on offense, but unfortunately that was maybe 30 seconds of the match.

Uecker is backstage, still talking about Vanna White.  He talks to Bobby Heenan, with the Islanders.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: The One Man Gang (w/ Slick) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Oliver Humperdink).  Gang jumps Bigelow and lumbers around, beating him up.  Bigelow hits a cartwheel splash for 2, then a cross body for 2.  Bigelow keeps rolling.  Bigelow hits a headbutt, then Slick low bridges him out of the ring.  Bigelow makes it to the apron, but that really ugly ref counts him out at 3:00.  Stupid.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan.  His promo turns very wacky.  “Thank God Donald Trump’s a Hulkamaniac!”  Something about the Trump Plaza falling into the ocean.  I don’t know.

Another shot of Trump in the front row.  They show Slick screwing Bigelow again.

WWF Championship Tournament – Round 1: Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jake Roberts.  Rude cuts a promo, saying what’s under his robe is why “the odds are in [his] favorite.”  They lock up as Damien wriggles around in the bag.  Roberts rams Rude’s face into the mat.  Rude slams Roberts, then hammers him.  Repeat.  Roberts slams Rude a couple of times.  Rude ends up the corner with Damien and freaks out.  Roberts cranks on Rude’s arm.  Rude punches Roberts, but Roberts holds onto the wrist lock and grounds him.  Roberts his a knee off the middle rope and goes for the DDT, but Rude bails.  Heenan hugs him.  Back inside, Roberts works on Rude’s arm some more.  The run the ropes.  Roberts slams Rude again and goes for the knee lift, but Rude avoids it and puts the boots to him.  Rude hits a clothesline, swivels his hips, and hits an elbow drop for 2.  Rude works a chin lock.  Heenan distracts the referee to give Rude the chance to choke Roberts.  Roberts finally works his way out of it.  Rude hits a diving chop, then swivels his hips some more.  Rude hits a clothesline for 2.  Rude goes back to the chin lock.  Rude flapjacks Roberts and goes up top to hit a diving punch for 2, covers for another 2, then goes back to the chin lock.  Roberts backdrop suplexes him, but Rude keeps his old on, then covers for 2.  Rude stomps Roberts in the ropes.  I think I hear a “BORING!” chant developing.  Rude works the chin lock again.  This is boring.  Roberts finally breaks out with a jawbreaker, then makes his comeback.  Roberts hits a short range clothesline and goes for the DDT, but Rude runs him into the corner.  Roberts catches a charging Rude with a knee, then hits a gutbuster for 2.  Rude hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Rude gets a 1 count.  Rude goes for the Flair pin in the corner, but the bell rings after 2.  It’s a 15:00 draw at 15:14.  Roberts runs Rude and Heenan off with Damien.  The match was good in the beginning and the end.  The middle part where they were just stalling for time was boring.

Mean Gene and Vanna White are at the big fancy tournament bracket.  Vanna gives her predictions for the second round.

Hercules (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. The Ultimate Warrior.  Hercules tries a shoulder block, to no effect.  Repeat.  They stare at each other, then shove each other.  They lock up and lumber around.  Warrior backs Hercules into the corner.  The ref makes them break and Herc gets a cheap shot in.  They brawl.  It’s bad.  Hercules backdrops Warrior out of the ring.  Warrior pulls Herc out and they brawl on the floor.  Back inside, more horrible brawling.  Warrior punches Herc in the corner.  Herc brings him out with an inverted atomic drop.  Herc avoids Warrior in the corner and locks in the full nelson.  Warrior kicks off the turnbuckles, then lifts his shoulder and gets the pin in 4:37.  Herc attacks Warrior after the match, then chokes him with his chain.  Warrior gets the chain and swings it around to run Herc off.  This sucked.  All of it.

Gorilla and Jesse talk, then we get an Andre/Hogan history package.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: Andre the Giant (w/ Ted Dibiase & Virgil) vs. Hulk Hogan.  Andre immediately goes on the attack.  He clobbers Hogan with huge blows.  Hogan fights back with forearms, then chokes DIbiase when he gets on the apron.  Hogan knocks Andre and Dibiase’s heads together.  Hogan chops Andre.  Andre gets tangled up in the ropes.  Hogan rips his shirt off and poses as Virgil and Dibiase free Andre.  Stupid Hogan.  Hogan knocks Andre down and hits 3 elbow drops for 2.  Andre chokes Hogan.  Andre chops Hogan, then clamps on a nerve hold.  Hogan fights back, then signals for the slam.  Virgil distracts the ref while Dibiase sneaks in and hits Hogan with a chair.  Hogan hits Andre with the chair IN FULL VIEW of the referee, who does NOTHING.  Andre hits Hogan with the chair, and the ref calls for the double DQ in 5:22.  This actively sucked.  Hogan chases Dibiase up the aisle.  Dibiase throws Virgil to Hogan.  Hogan suplex Virgil in the aisle.  Hogan comes back to the ring and body slams Andre.  Hogan does his posing routine.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage and Elizabeth.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: “The Rock” Don Muraco (w/ “Superstar” Billy Graham) vs. Ted Dibiase.  Dibiase doesn’t want to get in the ring.  Muraco brings him in the hard way.  Muraco hits a powerslam for 2.  Muraco hits a diving fist or chop for 2.  Muraco hits the Throwback, and generally continues beating up Dibiase.  Dibiase finally manages to defensively slingshot Muraco into the turnbuckles, then puts the boots to him.  Dibiase gets the heat on Muraco.  Except this crowd isn’t heated AT ALL.  Muraco avoids a falling elbow drop from the middle rope and makes his comeback.  Dibiase hot shots Muraco into the top rope for the pin in 5:36.  Fine little match.

Bob Uecker talks to Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji).

The One Man Gang and Slick are in the ring for Finkel’s announcement that Gang receives a BYE in this round because of the draw between Rude and Roberts.

WWF Championship Tournament – Quarterfinal: Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up.  Valentine hammers Savage.  Savage fights back and hits a knee drop for 2.  Valentine beats up Savage some more.  Elbow drop gets 2.  Valentine hits a shoulder breaker for 2.  Valentine throws Savage out of the ring, then hits him with an elbow to the back of the head from the apron.  Valentine hits Savage with some chops.  Valentine continues to beat up Savage.  He goes for the figure-four, but Savage holds into the ropes.  Valentine hits a suplex for 2.  Savage starts fighting back and actually gets a small reaction from the crowd.  Savage slams Valentine, then hits a diving double axe handle.  Hart jumps on the apron to stop the count.  Savage lunges for him.  Valentine gets the offensive on Savage again, but Savage reverses a suplex attempt, then goes up and goes for another axe handle.  Valentine catches him with a blow to the middle.  Hart helps Valentine avoids a charging Savage in the ropes.  Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Savage turns it into an inside cradle for the pin in 6:07.  Good little match.

Mean Gene and Vanna White go over the brackets at the end of the second round.  Vanna still doesn’t know who Uecker is.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: The Honky Tonk Man (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart & Peggy Sue) vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.  They lock up.  Beefcake catches Honky’s foot, teases a punch, then hits an atomic drop.  Beefcake messes up Honky’s hair, so Honky bails.  Beefcake rams Honky’s head into the turnbuckles repeatedly.  He keeps doing a scissors motion with his fingers, I guess because he wants to cut Honky’s hair.  Beefcake hits a high knee and Honky bails again.  Beefcake pulls him back in and beats him up.  Honky avoids an elbow drop and puts the boots to Brutus.  Honky beats up Brutus.  Hart chokes Beefcake behind the referee’s back.  Honky grabs a front face lock, but decides to beat him up some more instead of going for his move.  Then he actually goes for the Shake, Rattle, & Roll, but Beefcake holds onto the ropes to avoid it and makes his comeback.  Beefcake locks in the sleeper hold.  Jimmy gets on the apron and nails the referee with the megaphone.  Beefcake puts Honky to sleep and thinks he won, then notices the referee is also sleeping.  Beefcake goes for his bag of barber equipment, but Hart gets it and tries to escape under the ring.  Beefcake drags him out and cuts some of Hart’s hair off.  Peggy Sue tries to wake Honky while some more referees try to wake the original referee.  Peggy throws water on Honky to wake him up.  Beefcake comes in with his shears, but referees hold him back.  Beefcake is announces as the winner by DQ in about 9 minutes (no bell).  Fun match.

Bob Uecker talks to Andre the Giant, then gets choked by Andre’s massive hands.

The Islanders & Bobby Heenan vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Matilda) & Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie).  Second missed bell in a row.  Is the time keeper in the toilet or something?  Dynamite schools Tama to start.  Davey Boy and Haku tag in.  Davey Boy hits a cross body for 2, then a body slam for 2.  Davey Boy gets a crucifix hold for 2.  Tama tags in and gets press slammed.  Haku tags in and beats up Smith.  Koko tags in and dropkicks Haku, then does an awesome headlock/leg scissors to the Islanders.  Haku beats up Dynamite, who tags in Heenan, wearing his silly dog proof suit.  Heenan puts the boots to Dynamite.  As soon as Dynamite responds, Heenan tags in Tama.  Tama slams Dynamite and goes for a Vader Bomb, but Dynamite gets his knees up.  Koko tags in and runs wild on the Islanders.  The Islanders get some heat on Koko, then tag in Heenan to get his licks in again.  Whatever letters are on the back of Koko’s tights are blurred out.  I think it’s “WWF.”  Koko whips Heenan into the turnbuckles, then dropkicks him.  The Islanders jump Koko and a clusterfuck ensues.  The Islanders slam Heenan on top of Koko for the pin in about 7 minutes.  Good little match.  Dynamite headbutts the Islanders, which is always a stupid move.  Davey Boy sicks Matilda on Heenan afterwards.

Finkel introduces Jesse Ventura.  It must have been in Jesse’s contract that he gets to pose at every WrestleMania.

Ted Dibiase is in the ring for Finkel’s announcement that he gets a BYE in the semifinals.  Why do they feel the need to bring the guys out for these announcements?

WWF Championship Tournament – Semifinal: The One Man Gang (w/ Slick) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up, with Gang overpowering Savage.  Savage grabs Gang by the beard and “clotheslines” him across the top rope.  Gang beats up Savage.  Gang gets a couple of 2 counts.  Gang slams Savage and goes for the splash, but Savage moves, avoids Gang in the corner, and makes a comeback.  Savage knocks Gang out of the ring and hits a diving axe handle to the outside.  Slick helps Gang get back in the ring.  Savage tries to slam Gang, fails, and gets choked.  Slick aggravates Elizabeth.  Savage chokes Slick.  Gang attacks Savage with Slick’s cane to cause the DQ in 4:12.  This was bad.  After the match, Savage hits a diving axe handle that causes Gang to squash Slick.

Flip over disc to continue!  I shall!

Mean Gene and Vanna White and the brackets board again.  Vanna leaves to go to ringside.  Bob Uecker shows up just after she left.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: Strike Force (c) vs. Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji).  Smash smashes Martel.  My wit amuses me.  Tito comes in to dropkick Martel onto Smash.  Brief clusterfuck ensues.  Strike Force try to work over Smash’s arm.  Ax tags in and promptly gets arm dragged by Tito.  Strike Force tries their arm working strategy on Ax.  Smash tags in and gets his arm punished too.  Smash elevates Tito and Ax nails him.  Demolition gets the heat on Santana.  Martel gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Martel locks Smash in the Boston crab.  Santana stops Ax from interfering.  Mr. Fuji gets on the apron with his cane.  Tito chokes him.  Ax hits Martel with Fuji’s cane behind the referee’s back.  Smash pins Martel to win the titles in 8:02.  Fine match.

Finkel introduces the celebrities for the main event: Robin Leach, who will present the championship belt to the winner and guest ring announcer Bob Uecker, who introduces guest timekeeper Vanna White.

WWF Championship Tournament – Final: Ted Dibiase (w/ Andre the Giant) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth).  They lock up.  Crowd is dead.  Andre trips Savage behind the referee’s back.  They trade hammerlocks.  Savage hits a shoulder block, then Andre trips him again.  Dibiase works over Savage.  Savage blocks a sunset flip attempt and hits a clothesline for 2.  Dibiase beats up Savage some more.  Savage rallies.  The crowd pops a little bit when he hits a move.  Savage knocks Dibiase out of the ring and goes to the top, but Andre stands over Dibiase to protect him.  Savage confers with Elizabeth, who leaves.  Dibiase attacks Savage from behind and gives him a bunch of fist drops for 2.  Elizabeth comes back out with Hulk Hogan in tow.  Dibiase works a rear chin lock.  He lets go when he sees Hogan.  Hogan gets a chair and sits down in Macho’s corner.  Dibiase continues to beat on Savage.  Andre grabs Savage again and Hogan nails Andre.  Savage tries to fight back against Dibiase, but can’t get rolling.  Dibiase hits a suplex for 2.  Dibiase hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Dibiase goes up top, but Savage throws him off, then goes for the diving elbow drop, but Dibiase moves out of his way.  Dibiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream.  Andre distracts the referee.  Hogan sneaks in and hits Dibiase with the chair.  Savage hits the diving elbow drop for the pin in 9:18.  Okay match, but I’m sure they had a lot of matches that were way better than this.  This was mostly storyline, which is fine, I guess.  Savage, Liz, and Hogan celebrate.

Fun show.  This was one of the few old school tapes that one of my local video stores had when I first became a fan, so it’s a sentimental favorite of mine.

WWF Survivor Series 1987

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 2, 2010 by Grappleholic

Howard Finkel counts down the seconds until the show starts.  I was finally able to find the original PPV broadcast of this show.

Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are our hosts, LIVE from Richfield, Ohio on Thanksgiving Day, 1987!

PPV open.

Gorilla and Jesse talk about what’s going on TONIGHT, then explain the rules of the Survivor Series matches.

Craig DeGeorge interviews the Honky Tonk Man, with his team.

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s team.

Elimination Match: WWF Intercontinental Champion The Honky Tonk Man, Harley Race, Hercules, Ron Bass, & Danny Davis (w/ Bobby Heenan & Jimmy Hart) vs. Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth), Ricky Steamboat, Brutus Beefcake, Jake Roberts, & “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  Beefcake and Hercules start.  They get the crowd riled up.  Hercules hammers Beefcake.  Beefcake leapfrogs him and locks in a sleeper.  Hercules tags in Davis.  Beefcake hip tosses Hercules, Davis, and Bass, then slaps Bass and tags in Roberts.  Robert and Savage both have their turns with Davis, then Steamboat tags in and rules him for a minute, then gets caught with a shot by Davis.  Race tags in and beats up Steamboat.  Steamboat hits a diving chop.  They trade blows.  Race throws Steamboat over the top rope, but Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Repeat on the opposite side, then Steamboat throws Race out of the ring.  Race comes back in and hits a belly to belly suplex on Steamboat for 2.  Steamboat tags in Duggan.  Duggan clotheslines Race out of the ring, then beats him up on the outside.  Duggan and Race both get counted out in 4:32.  The rest of the guys separate them.  Bass and Roberts go at it in the ring.  Savage tags in and beats up Bass.  Savage decks Honky, then get clotheslined by Bass.  Honky tags in to get his licks up, but Savage kicks his ass.  Bass tags back in against Savage.  Beefcake tags in and hits Bass with a high knee for the pin in 7:01.  Hercules and Honky take turns working over Beefcake, mainly with long, long hammerlocks.  Beefcake hits an atomic drop on Honky and makes a comeback on him.  Davis knees Beefcake in the back from the apron, which allows Honky to hit the Shake, Rattle, and Roll for the pin in 10:51.  Hercules beats up Savage.  Davis tags in and Savage owns him.  Honky tags in.  Savage nails him with an elbow and tags in Roberts.  The bad guys beat up on Roberts.  Crowd chants “DDT!”  Roberts hulks up on Danny Davis.  Roberts hits the DDT on Davis for the pin in 15:10.  Hercules immediately jumps Roberts.  Roberts plays face in peril for a little while.  Steamboat finally gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Savage tags in and makes good on Steamboat’s handy work, hitting the diving elbow on Hercules for the pin in 21:04.  Savage beats up Honky.  Honky fights back and hammers him.  Steamboat tags in and beats up on Honky, then Roberts has his turn.  The video gets a little fuzzy from the ancient VHS source material.  Savage tags in to beat up Honky some more.  An atomic drop sends Honky out of the ring.  Honky leaves and takes the count out in 23:41.  Savage, Steamboat, and Roberts survive.  It was alright, but boring in some places.

Craig DeGeorge interviews Andre the Giant’s team.

Get your official Survivor Series t-shirt and program!

Elimination Match: WWF Women’s Champion Sensational Sherri, WWF Women’s Tag Team Champions The Glamour Girls (w/ Jimmy Hart), Dawn Marie, & Donna Christianello vs. The Fabulous Moolah, Velvet McIntyre, Rockin’ Robin, & The Jumping Bomb Angels.  For the record, that isn’t the same Dawn Marie that was in ECW/WWE in the late 90s/early 2000s.  Sherri jumps Velvet to start.  Velvet his a cross body for 2.  Tag to Moolah, who snapmares Sherri around.  Tag to Donna Christianello.  Tag to one of the Jumping Bomb Angels.  I have no idea which one is which.  Velvet comes back in and beats up Donna.  Velvet pins Donna with a victory roll in 1:57.  Leilani Kai comes in against Velvet.  Velvet gets the better of her and tags in Robin.  Robin gets backed into the heel corner.  The heels take turns working her over.  Robin pins Dawn Marie in 4:10 with a cross body.  One of the Glamour Girls and one of the Angels go at it.  Awesome stuff from the Itsuki Yamazaki (thank you, Gorilla).  Tateno tags in and hits an awesome arm drag on Kai.  Tateno is awesome against Sherri.  Butterfly suplex gets 2.  Rockin’ Robin tags in and goes at it with Sherri.  The heels take turns working over Robin.  Sherri hits a suplex for the pin at 6:54.  Yamazaki comes back in against Sherri.  Martin tags in and throws her across the ring by her hair.  Velvet hits a cross body on Martin for 2.  Kai tags in and gets catapulted across the ring by Velvet.  Moolah tags in and monkey flips Kai, then further abuses her.  Martin tags in and gets abused as well.  Tateno (I think) tags in again and runs wild for a second, then fails a dropkick and gets beaten up by Leilani Kai.  Sherri tags in and beats her up.  Itsuki and one of the Glamour Girls tags in.  For a second.  Moolah tags in and beats up… I THINK that’s Leilani Kai.  Martin tags in and clotheslines Moolah for the pin in 10:53.  The remaining faces take turns working over Judy Martin.  Velvet locks her in a crab hold, transitions it into something of a half assed Muta Lock, then turns it into a bow & arrow.  Sherri tags in and gets the advantage on Velvet.  She fucks up a gutwrench suplex, then tags in… Kai.  Itsuki tags in and almost gets pinned (they even ring the bell by mistake), but she bridges out.  Velvet and Sherri are back in now.  Velvet gives her a big swing.  Velvet pins Sherri with a victory roll in 14:55.  Martin tags in and attacks Velvet.  Itsuki tags in and is awesome.  She fails to slam Martin.  Tateno tags in and can’t butterfly suplex Martin.  Ah, she gets it on the second try.  Cover gets 2.  Kai tags in and mimmicks intercourse with Tateno.  Velvet and Kai in now.  Velvet gets a 2 count off of another victory roll.  She tries again, but Kai turns it into an electric chair drop for the pin in 11:22.  The Angels stereo slam the Glamour Girls, then Tateno catapults one onto the other.  Kai slams Tateno, then misses a diving splash.  Itsuki tags in and hits a diving cross body on Kai for the pin in 18:37.  Martin, the only woman left on her team, beats up Itsuki.  Tateno tags in.  Itsuki slams Martin.  Tateno hits a diving knee.  The Angels double team Martin.  Itsuki dropkicks Jimmy Hat off the apron.  Tateno hits a diving clothesline on Martin for the pin in 20:16.  The Jumping Bomb Angels survive.  Given the current standards of women’s wrestling in WWE… this was awesome.  WWE needs a Japanase girl tag team NOW.

Craig DeGeorge interviews the heel tag teams, captained by The Hart Foundation.  Jimmy Hart appears, very disheveled.

Slick and The Bolsheviks are in the ring.  Volkoff sings the Soviet National anthem.  Their teammates make their entrances.

Mean Gene interviews the babyface tag teams, captained by Strike Force.

Tag Team Elimination Match: The Hart Foundation (w/ Jimmy Hart), Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji), The Bolsheviks (w/ Slick), The New Dream Team (w/ Johnny Valiant), & The Islanders (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. WWF Tag Team Champions Strike Force, The British Bulldogs (w/ Matilda), The Young Stallions, The Rougeau Brothers, & The Killer Bees.  This is literally a tag team elimination match, in that when one member of a tag team is beaten, both are eliminated.  Martel and Volkoff start.  There’s a lot of dudes on the apron.  Martel gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Volkoff over powers him.  Zhukov tags in, misses an elbow, and almost gets pinned off of a cross body.  Santana tags in and covers Zhukov for 2.  Tito hits the flying forearm for the pin 1:45.  The Bolsheviks are gone!  Ax attacks Santana.  Santana avoids an elbow and tags in Jacques Rougeau.  He dropkicks Ax.  Dino Brave tags in and gets dropkicked too.  The babyfaces make several quick tags.  Haku and Dynamite clubber each other, which is awesome for a second.  The Killer Bees work over Haku.  Neidhart tags in.  Paul Roma works Neidhart’s leg.  Neidhart slams him and tax in Smash.  Demolition beats up Roma.  Haku tags in and beats him up too, since it looks so fun.  Tama and Roma trade blows.  Jim Powers tags in and gets beaten up too.  Jacques tags in and runs wild for a second, then gets pinned by Ax at 5:50.  Man, this match moves fast.  The heels work over Powers.  Roma tags in and gets beaten up too.  He fights back, then eats a Demolition boot.  Greg Valentine tags in and hits a shoulder breaker on Roma for 2.  Valentine hits a suplex for 2.  Bravo tags in and hits a gutwrench suplex and a leg drop for 2.  Smash and Blair go at it.  Dynamite comes in and drops Smash with a clothesline for 2.  The heel team beats up Dynamite in their corner.  Demolition gets DQ’d for referee violence in 9:12.  Bret Hart hits a piledriver on Dynamite for 2.  Dynamite avoids Hart in the corner and tags in Powers.  Tama tags in.  Powers kicks his ass, then gets dropped with a clothesline.  Powers avoids a Vader Bomb and tags in Martel.  Martel runs wild on Tama.  Martel locks in the Boston crab in the heel corner.  Stupid.  Neidhart tags in and kicks his ass.  Martel catches him with a boot and tags in Santana.  Tito hits the flying forearm, but Hart breaks the cover with a blow to Santana’s head.  Neidhart pins Santana at 12:06.  Powers misses a dropkick against Neidhart.  The heels work over Powers.  Powers manages to reverse a suplex by Valentine, but Valentine hits a drop toe hold into the heel corner to make sure the punishment continues.  Hart hits a suplex on Powers for 2.  Powers manages to tag in Roma.  He gets worked over too.  Valentine hits a clubbing blow off the top rope for 2.  Powers tags back in.  Hart tags in.  Powers avoids a dropkick and tags in Dynamite.  Dynamite hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Roma tags in.  Hart avoids an elbow and tags in Haku.  Blair tags in and backdrops Haku.  Haku gets beaten up in the face corner.  Tag to Davey Boy, then a quick tag to Powers.  Neidhart tags in and clubbers Powers.  Davey Boy and Bret tag in and go at it.  Davey Boy press slams Bret for 2.  Haku tags in.  Davey Boy hits the running powerslam for 2.  Dynamite tags in.  Davey Boy hits a suplex, then Dynamite hits a diving headbutt.  You NEVER HEADBUTT A SAMOAN.  Haku hits a thrust kick on Dynamite for the pin in 19:58.  Roma goes after Haku.  Bravo tags in, fails an elbow, and Powers tags in.  He fails a monkey flip and tags an atomic drop.  The heels work over Powers.  Bret ties him to the tree of woe.  Roma and the Bees try to save, but the referee stops them.  Powers gets worked over some more.  Valentine tries the figure-four leglock on Powers, but Powers kicks him away and tags in Roma.  Roma hits a diving sunset slip on Valentine for the pin in 23:39.  The Bees work over Anvil.  Brunzell hits a high knee for 2.  The babyfaces work over Bret Hart.  Hart turns the tide on Roma and tags in Tama.  The Islanders double team Roma.  Roma avoids a leg drop from Haku and tags in Brunzell.  Brunzell runs wild on Haku, who tags in Hart.  Roma tags in and hits a diving fist drop on Bret for 2.  Hart excellently executes Roma.  Tag to Tama, who gouges at Roma’s face.  Haku tags in and the Islanders hit a double headbutt on Roma.  Roma kicks out.  Proof that wrestling is fake!  Nobody could kick out of a double Samoan headbutt!  Heels work over Roma.  Neidhart hits a powerslam for 2.  Brunzell tags in and runs wild on Hart.  One of the Islanders dropkicks Hart onto Brunzell, but Brunzell rolls through for the pin in 30:28.  The Islanders work over Brunzell.  Brunzell manages to sunset flip Haku for 2, then gets beaten up some more.  Brunzell catches Haku with a knee, then tags in Powers.  Powers runs wild on Haku.  Roma tags in and powerslams Haku, but Tama saves.  The Islanders stomp Roma behind the referee’s back.  Blair tags in and gets beaten up too.  Brunzell gets the tag and runs wild on both Islanders.  Dropkick on Tama gets 2, as Haku saves.  Shenanigans ensue.  The Bees put their masks on.  Blair pins Tama with a springboard sunset flip for the pin in 37:15.  The Young Stallions and The Killer Bees survive.  This was really fun.

Get your official Survivor Series t-shirt and program!

Gorilla and Jesse wonder how “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase spends his Thanksgiving.  We get a video of Dibiase talking in his car, then some examples of him making people do stuff for money.  Man, this stuff got mega heat.  Poor Shawn.  Dibiase is now in his study, with Virgil standing guard.  More examples of Dibiase degrading people.  Dibiase is being served a big meal.  They show the young man who would grow up to be ROB VAN DAM kissing Dibiase’s feet!  Dibiase even paid off a guy to shut down a public pool.  That dick.  Great stuff.

Gorilla and Jesse talk about everything that’s gone down tonight.

Craig DeGeorge is in the arena to interview The Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart.  Honky talks about being unbeatable, etc.

After lots of fucking around, it’s time for the main event.  The heel team make their entrance, then Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan’s team.  They talk about burning the building down because they’re hungry.

Elimination Match: Andre the Giant, Rick Rude, King Kong Bundy, Butch Reed, & The One Man Gang (w/ Bobby Heenan & Slick) vs. WWF Champion Hulk Hogan, Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Sir Oliver Humperdink), Ken Patera, Don Muraco, & Paul Orndorff.  Muraco and Rude start.  They lock up and trade blows.  Orndorff tags in and beats up Rude.  He rams Rude into Hogan’s boot, then tags in Hogan.  Hogan hits the Axe Bomber and a few elbow drops, then tags in Bigelow.  Hogan slams Rude and Bigelow hits a big splash.  Bigelow press slams Rude.  Patera and Reed tag in.  Patera gets a half assed inside cradle for 2.  Muraco tags in and dropkicks Reed, then rams him into Orndorff’s boot.  Orndorff tags in, beats up Reed, cheap shots Bundy, and rams Reed into Hogan’s boot.  Hogan tags in and hits the leg drop on Reed for the pin in 3:08.  Andre and Hogan go face to face.  Hogan had accidentally tagged in Patera when he was celebrating the pin over Reed.  Andre tags Bundy in.  Patera runs wild on Bundy, then tags in Orndorff.  One Man Gang tags in .  Orndorff kicks his ass briefly.  Gang gets the advantage and tags in Rude.  Orndorff slams Rude, then hits an elbow drop for 2.  Muraco tags in and clotheslines Rude.  Gang tags in and beats up Muraco.  Muraco tags out to Patera, who hits a cross body on Gang for 2.  The heels work over Patera.  Gang clotheslines Patera for the pin in 8:48.  Hogan comes in and beats up Gang.  Bigelow tags in.  He and Hogan hit a double big boot on Gang.  Bigelow and Gang knock each other down with shoulder blocks.  Orndorff and Rude tag in and go at it.  Orndorff hits the elbow drop that Steve Austin stole, then backdrops Rude.  Bundy cheap shots Orndorff, allowing Rude to schoolboy him for the pin in 10:26.  The faces take turn having their way with Rude.  Muraco hits a powerslam on Rude for the pin in 11:14.  Muraco avoids a knee drop from Bundy and works over Bundy’s leg.  Gang tags in and beats up Muraco.  Muraco fails at slamming Gang and almost gets pinned.  Andre nails Muraco and Gang pins him with a splash in 12:58.  Bigelow tries a sunset flip on Gang, but gets squashed.  Bundy tags in and turns Bigelow inside out with a clothesline.  Cover gets 2, as Hogan saves.  Andre tags in and swings at Bigelow, but Bigelow ducks and tags in Hogan.  Hogan and Andre go at it.  Hogan knocks Bundy and Gang off the apron.  Bundy trips Hogan and pulls him outside.  Hogan fights with Bundy and Gang outside and gets counted out in 16:01.  Hogan doesn’t want to leave, but the referees make him under threat of DQing Bigelow.  Bigelow is all alone against Andre, Bundy, and Gang.  Bigelow takes the fight to Bundy.  Bigelow avoids the Avalanche and hits a springboard splash for the pin in 18:35.  Gang beats up Bigelow.  Bigelow avoids a diving splash and pins Gang in 20:56.  Andre attacks Bigelow.  Bigelow rolls around to avoid Andre.  Andre lets Bigelow ram himself into the corner, then headbutts him in the back.  Andre hits a butterfly suplex for the pin in 22:12.  Hogan runs back out and hits Andre with the title belt, just because he’s a sore loser.  The match was pretty fun.  Hogan does his posing routine.

Mean Gene interviews the victorious Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan.

We get a clip show to end the PPV.

Fun show altogether.