Archive for Primo

WWE Superstars 3/10/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.  They promise more Raw replays.

Chris Masters vs. Tyler Reks.  This is coming off of Reks’ attack on Masters last week after Masters beat Curt Hawkins.  Masters has 2 straight wins over Reks.  Masters kicks ass and goes for the Master Lock.  Reks escapes from the ring.  They brawl back in the ring.  Reks gets the advantage and puts a beating on Masters.  Reks hits a short lariat for 2, then applies a neck and shoulder hold.  Reks whips Masters down and continues the vicious attack.  Masters comes back with a diving shoulder block, then clotheslines Reks out of the ring again.  They brawl outside.  Reks sends Masters face first into the post, then hits a Final Cut.  Insta-commercials.  Reks has Masters in a half crab.  Masters gets a rope break.  Reks hits a backbreaker for 2.  Reks keeps the heat doing.  Masters gets a backslide for 1, then counters Reks and hits a Samoan Drop.  Masters makes his comeback.  Sky High gets 2.  D’Lo Brown represent!  Reks hits a Complete Shot for 2.  Reks goes for the Burning Hammer.  Masters escapes and locks in the Master Lock  for the referee stop (7:21 shown).  Good little match.  It’s a shame that Masters finally becomes a good wrestler and he’s relegated to Superstars.

Up next, Raw replays!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.

From Raw: Michael Cole introduced John Bradshaw Layfield as his chosen referee from WrestleMania, but Stone Cold Steve Austin intervened and signed on for the job.

Tonight, Khali, Henry, & Natalya vs. Regal, Kidd, & Melina!  That’s quite the mess.

Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Santino Marella & Tamina) vs. Zack Ryder (w/ Primo).  Ryder hides in the ropes.  Kozlov throws him around.  Kozlov gets a leg lock.  Ryder gets the ropes.  Ryder grabs a headlock.  Kozlov catches a cross body and hits a fall away slam.  Ryder rolls to the floor.  Kozlov throws him back in.  Ryder gets the jump on Kozlov coming back in.  For a second.  Kozlov does the battering ram headbutts and a judo throw, and continues to smash Ryder.  Primo gets on the apron.  Santino pulls him off.  Ryder hits the Rough Ryder for the pin in 3:00.  There ya go.

From Raw: Shawn Michaels speaking on the Triple H/Undertaker WrestleMania match.

Still to come, MORE Raw replays!

From Raw: The Rock/John Cena/The Miz shit talking.

Main event is NEXT!

Great Khali, Mark Henry, & Natalya vs. William Regal, Tyson Kidd, & Melina.  Natalya and Melina do some stuff.  It breaks out into a cat fight.  Kidd tags in and tells Natalya to get out.  Natalya tags in Henry.  Kidd slaps him, runs away, and tags in Regal.  Henry smashes Regal and tags in Khali.  Regal takes Khali down to a knee.  Kidd tags himself in and slaps Khali.  Khali no sells it.  Kidd tries to tag out, but neither Regal nor Melina are interested.  Kidd tries to make friends.  Khali delivers the crown chop and the tree slam for the pin in 3:09.  At least that’s over.  Or not.  Henry splashes Kidd.  Natalya puts him in the Sharpshooter.  Regal just stands back and watches.  The faces celebrate.  Regal puts Kidd in the Regal Stretch.  Melina slaps him.  Haha, man, they buried Tyson under the earth here.

Aside from the opener, a very mediocre show.

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WWE Superstars 3/3/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are the first announcers.  They promise more replays from Raw.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

R-Truth vs. William Regal.  Hell yes!  They lock up and do some pimp chain wrestling for a second.  Truth hits a flying headscissors and a side headlock takeover.  They work the headlock a bit in a spot that I love.  Truth dances and kicks Regal in the face for 2.  Truth goes back to a headlock.  Regal gets his chance and set out to maul a fucker.  Regal hits a knee drop, then pounds on Truth’s face, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Truth fights out.  Regal hits an Exploder and an elbow drop for 2.  Regal applies a chin lock again.  Truth fights out again and makes his comeback.  Regal dodges the Lie Detector and goes for a Butterfly Suplex, but Truth counters and hits the What’s Up for the pin in 4:24.  Fun match.

Tonight, Santino & Kozlov vs. Ryder & Primo again.

WWE.com plug.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina) vs. Zack Ryder & Primo.  Primo and Santino do a bit of back and forth wrestling, complete the stalemate and applause!  Santino scares Primo out of the ring with the Cobra.  Ryder tags in and beats up Santino.  Santino hits an STO and tags in Kozlov.  Santino and Kozlov takes turns beating on Kozlov.  Kozlov throws Ryder to the floor.  Santino scares Primo with the Cobra again, and Kozlov sends him to the floor as well.  Insta-commercials.  Primo tries to beat up Kozlov, but Kozlov catches a cross body and hits a fall away slam.  Primo avoids Kozlov in the corner and tags in Ryder.  Ryder hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Primo tags in and keeps the heat going on Kozlov.  Santino and Ryder tag in.  Santino runs wild and hits the falling headbutt for 2.  Primo saves.  Kozlov sends Primo out.  Ryder sends Kozlov out.  Primo dodges the Rough Ryder and hits the Cobra for the pin in (6:00 shown).  Fun little match.

Tonight, replay of The Rock’s promo from Raw!  Aren’t you excited?

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.  Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Replay of Shawn Michaels speaking on the Undertaker/Triple H WrestleMania match.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Sin Cara is coming to WWE!

Curt Hawkins vs. Chris Masters.  They lock up.  Masters throws Hawkins across the ring, then chops the crap out of him.  Hawkins hits a jawbreaker, then trips Masters and causes him to face plant.  Hawkins beats on Masters.  Hawkins hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Hawkins applies a body scissors.  Masters stands up with Hawkins on his back and rams him into the post, then catches a dropkick and catapults Hawkins into the turnbuckles.  Masters makes his comeback and hits a diving shoulder block for 2.  Masters locks in the Master Lock for the win in 3:21.  It was fine.  Tyler Reks appears and attacks Masters.  Reks delivers his Burning Hammer.

Up next, replay from Raw!

The main event of Superstars is replays of the war of words between John Cena and The Rock.  That’s pretty lame.

The wrestling was pretty solid this week.

WWE Superstars 2/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tonight, a replay of the Rock promo from Raw!  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Chris Masters vs. Tyler Reks.  Reks wins the lock up.  Masters shoves him.  Reks hides behind the referee and gets in a cheap shot.  Masters rallies and goes for the Master Lock.  Reks rallies and goes into ass kicking mode.  Reks hits a short lariat for 2.  Reks applies a Dragon sleeper.  Masters kicks his way free.  Reks hits a Final Cut for 2.  Reks puts a beating on Masters.  Masters back body drops Reks to the floor.  Reks pulls Master’s head across the top rope.  Masters hits a Samoan Drop and makes his comeback.  Masters hits a sit-out spinebuster for 2.  Reks comes off the top and gets caught in the Master Lock.  Masters gets the referee stop win in 4:40.  Good little match with a surprising result.

Tonight, Zack Ryder & Primo take on WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov!

WWE.com plug.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

David Hart Smith & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  This match again?  Jey and Smith start.  Smith goes for a Kimura, but gets countered.  Smith gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Smith hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Smith goes a cartwheel to the corner and tags in Yoshi.  Jimmy tags in on the other side.  Jimmy works Yoshi over.  Yoshi rallies, hits some arm drags, send Jimmy out of the ring, and takes him out with a dive.  Insta-commercials.  Usos cut Yoshi off and get the heat on him.  Yoshi mows Jimmy down with a spin kick and makes the hot tag.  Smith runs wild and hits Jey with a sit-out powerbomb.  Jimmy saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  The Usos pull the switcheroo.  Jimmy sends Smith into the turnbuckles, then schoolboys him and grabs a handful of trunks for the pin (about 6 1/2 minutes shown).  It was fine.

Still to come, Ryder & Primo vs. Santino & Kozlov!

Up next, Rock on tape!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

They show about 12 minutes of The Rock’s promo from Raw.

The main event is NEXT!

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina) vs. Zack Ryder & Primo.  Santino and Ryder fuck around a bit.  Santino does the headlock –> shoulder block bit.  Ryder and Primo try to cut Santino off and work his arm.  Santino causes a friendly fire incident between the heels and regains the initiative.  They champs work over Ryder.  Ryder drops Santino with a backdrop suplex and tags out.  Santino throws Primo around, goes for the falling headbutt, and meets knees.  The heels cut off Santino.  Insta-commercials.  The heels get the heat on Santino.  Kozlov gets the hot tag and gets cut off.  Santino tags back in.  Kozlov finally runs wild.  Santino hits Primo with the Cobra for the pin (6:34 shown).  There ya go.  The champs celebrate.

Okay show this week.

WWE Superstars 2/3/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2011 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are the first announcers.  Tonight, JTG & Trent Barreta take on Tyler Reks & Curt Hawkins!  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Zack Ryder and Primo come out and cut a promo about being undefeated as a tag team.

Zack Ryder & Primo vs. David Hart Smith & Yoshi Tatsu.  Primo and Yoshi start with pro wrestling goodness.  Yoshi hits an arm drag and lands some chops.  Smith tags in and hits a powerslam for 2.  Primo boots Smith in the face and tags in Ryder.  Ryder and Smith do a nice wrestling exchange.  Primo and Yoshi tag in and go at it again with a chop exchange.  Yoshi knocks Ryder off the apron with a big chop.  Primo suplexes Yoshi out of the ring.  Ryder drops him.  Smith checks on  Yoshi.  Insta-commercials.  Heels get the heat on Yoshi for a while.  Smith gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Stall jackhammer on Ryder.  Primo saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Yoshi takes out Primo with a dive.  Yoshi tags in and runs wild on Ryder.  Yoshi drops Ryder with a high kick for the pin (8:31 shown).  Good little match.

Chaperone trailer.  Ugh.

WWE.com plug.

Melina vs. Tamina.  Melina begs off, then bails.  The cheap shots Tamina and hides in the ropes.  Tamina grabs her legs and catapults her.  Melina completely misses the corner.  Tamina beats up Melina some more.  Melina claims that she broke her nose, but she’s playing possum.  She beats up Tamina.  Melina applies a weird Dragon sleeper/abdominal stretch thing.  Tamina escapes and hits a backbreaker.  Tamina makes her comeback.  Melina pulls Tamina’s head across the top rope.  Cover gets 2.  Melina hits the Sunset Split for the pin in 4:56.  Meh.

Tonight, JTG & Barreta vs. Reks & Hawkins!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.

Raw Rebound.

Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

The main event is NEXT!

JTG & Trent Barreta vs. Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks.  Hawkins and Barreta lock up and renew their rivalry.  Reks and JTG tag in.  Reks slams JTG around.  Hawkins tags in.  JTG boots him in the face for 2.  Hawkins knocks JTG off the apron to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Heels get the heat on JTG for a while.  JTG weathers the storm, flapjacks Hawkins, and makes the hot tag to Barreta.  Barreta runs wild.  Hawkins cuts him off and hits a backdrop flapjack type thing for 2.  Hawkins knocks JTG off the apron and goes up top.  Barreta crotches him.  JTG takes out Reks at ringside.  Hawkins pushes Barreta off the top rope and hits the diving elbow drop for the pin (10:18 shown).  Fine little match.  Reks jumps Hawkins and gives him the modified Burning Hammer.  How dastardly!

Okay show.

WWE Superstars 1/27/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2011 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Trent Barreta vs. Tyler Reks.  They lock up.  Reks powers Barreta into the corner.  Barreta slips out and grabs a side headlock.  Reks throws him down.  Barreta replies with a slap and a forearm.  Reks bails, then comes back in and tries to bully Barreta more.  Barreta won’t take the bullying, but is soon overcome by power.  Reks puts a hurting on Barreta while the announcers talk about how Reks hunts elk with his bare hands.  Reks pulls Barreta into the post and stretches him.  Barreta lands a kick on Reks coming back into the ring, then drops him with a dropkick.  Barreta lands an enzuigiri, then hits a clothesline for 2.  Barreta lands on his feet froma backdrop suplex and lands a knee strike for 2.  Barreta tries to springboard, but Reks kicks him down.  Reks hits his sort of Burning Hammer for the pin in 5:20.  Good little match.

NXT recap.

Tonight, R-Truth takes on Tyson Kidd!  That’s a pretty sweet match.

WWE.com plug.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Zack Ryder and Primo come out and cut a promo about how they’re overlooked.  They’re disappointed that the crowd doesn’t give a shit about them.

Zack Ryder & Primo vs. David Hart Smith & Yoshi Tatsu.  Smith and Ryder lock up.  Smith hits an arm drag.  They roll around and do a cool little bit of wrestling.  Yoshi tags in and lands some kicks.  Ryder gets away and tags out.  Yoshi gets Primo with a la magistral for 2.  Yoshi hits some swank arm drags and cranks on Primo’s arm.  Yoshi and Smith make quick tags and take turns working over Primo.  Smith boots Primo off the apron the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Primo has Smith in a chin lock on the ground.  Ryder and Primo got the advantage via heel chicanery during the break.  They make lots of tags and keep the heat on Smith.  Smith drops Ryder with a backdrop suplex and makes the hot tag.  Yoshi runs wild on Primo.  Yoshi hits a Shining Wizards for 2.  He goes up top and hits the diving spin kick.  Ryder saves.  Smith tries to powerbomb Ryder, but Primo sends them both out of the ring.  Primo hits the Backstabber on Yoshi for the pin (7:54 shown).  Fine little match.

Truth vs. Kidd TONIGHT!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Dolph Ziggler hype video.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video and hype for the title matches.

R-Truth comes out.  The main event is NEXT!

R-Truth vs. Tyson Kidd.  Truth dances.  Kidd is unimpressed.  They trade arm locks.  Truth wins and yells “What’s Up!”  Kidd gets a side headlock takeover and scores a shoulder block.  They trade some more holds.  Truth lands a shoulder block.  Kidd looks taken aback.  Kidd beats on Truth in the corner.  Truth flips around and hits a hip toss.  Truth hits a clothesline that sends them both to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Kidd has a rear chin lock.  He keeps the heat going.  Truth hits a flapjack and makes his comeback.  Truth hits a suplex stunner.  Cover, but Kidd manages to grab the bottom rope.  Second cover also gets 2.  Kidd avoids the scissors kick and hits a dropkick for 2.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter, but Truth kicks him out of the ring.  Kidd gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Truth gets a schoolboy for 2.  Truth hits the Paydirt (now called the What’s Up) for the pin (7:47 shown).  Is it WWE policy that there HAS to be a black guy on the roster who uses that as his finish?  Fine match, though.

Fun show.

WWE Superstars 1/20/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2011 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  JTG works a side headlock and lands a shoulder block.  Chavo gets a side headlock takeover, then beats up JTG for a bit.  JTG catches a kick and lands a clothesline, then hits a basement boot to the face.  JTG slides out of the ring and hits a palm thrust.  They brawl outside.  Chavo hits the Eddie hilo back in for 2.  Chavo locks in a body scissors/armbar/chin lock.  JTG escapes.  Chavo lands a dropkick for 2.  Chavo hits a sweet backdrop suplex for 2.  Chavo keeps the heat going.  JTG hits a back body drop and makes his comeback.  JTG hits a Regal Cutter for 2.  Chavo hits a release Northern Lights suplex, then puts the boots to JTG.  JTG dropkicks Chavo into the corner, then hits the Mugshot.  JTG hits the Sling Blade for the pin in 5:48.  Good little match.

Tonight, Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd!  Yeah, I’m psyched.

WWE.com plug.

Chris Masters vs. Curt Hawkins.  Hawkins tries a go behind.  Masters is playing that shit and beats the shit out of him.  Hawkins catches Masters with a boot to the face.  Masters hits a spinebuster.  Hawkins avoids a dive and puts to boots to Masters.  Hawkins hits a suplex for 2.  Hawkins keeps the heat going.  Masters rallies and locks in the Master Lock for the win in 3:23.  Well this wasn’t much.

NXT recap.

Yoshi vs. Kidd TONIGHT!

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Zack Ryder & Primo vs. David Hart Smith & Darren Young.  Ryder yells “Woo Woo Woo,” then grabs Young in a side headlock, then a hammerlock.  Young hits a clothesline.  Ryder tags out.  Young schools Primo with arm torture, then tags in Smith, who continues the arm work.  Smith hits a powerslam and a powerbomb, then gets distracted by Ryder.  Primo recovers and takes out Smith’s knee.  Ryder tags in and works over Smith.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker and a leg drop for 2.  Primo tags in and keeps the heat going.  Smith continues to play face in peril as Ryder and Primo make quick tags and work him over.  Smith catches Primo with a big belly to belly suplex.  Ryder and Young tag in.  The crowd actually goes nuts as Young runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Primo and Smith are sent outside.  Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on Young for the pin in 5:01.  Fun little match.

Yoshi vs. Kidd TONIGHT!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Raw Rebound.

The main event is NEXT!

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd.  Kidd tries a go behind.  Yoshi reverses it.  Kidd grabs an arm lock.  Yoshi counters.  Sweet, sweet chain wrestling.  Kidd gets a side headlock takeover.  Yoshi turns it into a head scissors.  Kidd nips up.  Yoshi throws a head kick, but Kidd bails to the apron.  Kidd forces Yoshi to hold his weight while doing a back bridge.  Yosho rallies.  They do a pinfall reversal sequence.  Yoshi lands some kicks.  Kidd elevates Yoshi to the apron, then hits a Dragon screw leg whip through the ropes.  Insta-commercials.  Kidd works Yoshi’s leg for a while.  Yoshi uses his free leg to kick Kidd through the ropes to the floor.  Kidd goes for the Superstar Elbow.  Yoshi avoids it and makes his comeback as best he can on one leg.  Yoshi hits a Northern Lights suplex hold, but can’t hold his bridge with one leg.  Yoshi goes up top and misses his big kick.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter, but Yoshi catches him in a cradle for the pin (8:12 shown).  Good match.  I really liked the finish.

Fun little show this week.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, annual Martin Luther King Jr. day video.  We are LIVE in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

John Cena comes to the ring.  They show him getting beaten up by the New Nexus 3 weeks ago.  Cena talks about said event, promises to win the Royal Rumble and go to WrestleMania, then calls out CM Punk.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out instead.  He rants about whatever for a minute, then announces that this year’s Royal Rumble will be 40 men instead of 30.  Why is it his job to announce that?  Miz advises whoever wins the Rumble to go after the other champion instead.  Cena makes some lame jokes, then talks about the times that Miz would have lost the title to Lawler and Orton if Cole and Riley hadn’t interfered.  Then he makes more lame jokes.  He says “poopy noises” on national TV.  Yes, he said that.  They banter for a while.  Cena says that the main event at Mania will be Cena vs. Orton.  I fucking hope not.  The New Nexus come out.  Punk cuts a promo on Cena, then sends Husky Harris, Michael McGillicutty, and David Otunga to the ring.  They attack Cena.  WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov make the save.  Yes, I’m serious.  Punk decides to try different odds and all 4 of the New Nexus head to the ring.  Cole gets an e-mail from the iBooker.  iBooker bans Nexus from ringside during tonight’s Cena/Punk match on pain of not being in the Royal Rumble.

Tonight, Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton!  Commercials.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  No entrances, but we get in ring entrances.  Santino and Jimmy go at it.  The Usos cut Santino off and get the heat on him.  Kozlov tags the tag and beats up Jey.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Kozlov goes for the Iron Curtain, but Jey counters.  Santino tags in and hits the Cobra for the pin in 2:33.  This was nothing.

The New Nexus bicker amongst themselves backstage.  CM Punk comes in and smiles creepily at them, then says “faith.”

John Morrison is headed our way.  He encounters WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan and The Bella Twins.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: John Morrison vs. Sheamus from last week.

John Morrison hype video.

Non-Title: John Morrison vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins).  They lock up and do a sweet chain wrestling sequence.  That always brings joy to my heart.  Danielson does the leapfrog, drop down, dropkick.  Morison is sent outside.  Bryan slides out.  They both slide back in and do the stalemate post.  Commercials.  Morrison has Danielson grounded.  That’s backwards.  Morrison hits a side Russian leg sweep and takes too long going for the Starship Pain.  Danielson avoids it and kills him with a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Danielson goes for the LeBell Lock, but fails.  Double cross body spot.  They trade strikes.  Morrison lands on his feet from a German suplex and hits a Frankensteiner.  Bryan rolls through for 2.  Cradle counter sequence.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock again.  Morrison counters and catapults him into the corner.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and the running knee strike for the pin in 7:22.  Really good little match.  King Sheamus comes out and cuts a promo about how he made Morrison because Morrison had to turn up his game to deal with Sheamus.  He promises to conquer “turdy-nine” other men at the Royal Rumble.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Next, Ziggler vs. Orton!

Slam of the Week: Randy Orton & Jerry Lawler defeating The Miz & Alex Riley last week.  Commercials.

Little Rock!

Stand Up For WWE.  This bullshit again?

The Bella Twins talk about how hot John Morrison is.  Then they argue over who’s going to Bryan’s “first.”  I knew he was a virgin.  They make a bet on who AmDrag will nail first.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream in her awful voice.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Randy Orton.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  They lock up.  Ziggler backs Orton into the corner and cheap shots him to get the advantage.  Orton hits an Austin-style Lou Thesz press with punches.  Orton explodes out of the corner with a clothesline and starts to put a beating on Ziggler.  Orton hits the Albert decapitator thing for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Ziggler rallies and dropkicks Orton’s knee for 2.  Ziggler goes to work on the knee, stomping on it and wrapping it around the ring post.  Orton rallies and beats up Ziggler some.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 2.  They trade blows.  Orton hits the 3.0.  Orton side steps Ziggler, who crashes into the corner.  Orton makes his comeback.  Ziggler slips out of the DDT OF MURDER and takes out Orton’s knee.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Orton goes for the Angle Slam, but Ziggler slips out and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Orton manages to get a rope break.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Orton holds onto the top rope.  Orton his the RKO for the pin in 8:28.  Good match.  The Miz and Alex Riley immediately jump Orton.  Miz throws Orton into the steps, then tears up the announce table.  Lawler confronts him and decks Riley.  Miz throws Lawler over the barricade.  Orton tries to fight back.  Miz kicks his injured knee, then rams his back into the post, then they through him through a gimmicked part of the barricade.  How dastardly!  Miz creepily says his catchphrase.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^^ happened.

CM Punk lectures The New Nexus about faith.

Eve Torres and Melina have joined Cole for commentary.

Non-Title: Maryse vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya.  They face off.  Maryse slaps Natalya.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter.  Maryse gets away, then hits some weird face plant for 1.  Melina applies a chin lock.  Shit goes on.  Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 1:39.  At least that’s over.  Maryse screams at Cole for some reason.  Eve shoves her and leaves.  Maryse screams some more.  Ted Dibiase Jr. shows up.  Maryse yells at him.  Dibiase says he’ll win the Royal Rumble.  Well that’s just silly.  He challenges anyone to an over the top rope challenge.  Commercials.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Mark Henry.  Dibiase attacks.  Henry rallies and squashes him in the corner.  Dibiase lands a dropkick.  Henry throws him out of the ring for the win in 27 seconds.  Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, and William Regal hit the ring.  Henry tosses Yoshi quickly.  Regal and Kidd beat down Henry.  They are quickly joined by Zack Ryder, Primo, David Hart Smith, Darren Young, and R-Truth.  Everybody brawls in an unsanctioned Battle Royal.  Sheamus joins the fight and eliminates everyone but Henry.  Lawler rejoins Cole on commentary.  Henry eliminates Sheamus to win a moral victory.  Alberto Del Rio comes out and cuts a promo about how it’s his destiny to win the Rumble.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Commercials.

There’s a stupid vignette with Derrick Bateman trying to sell Mark Henry’s body odor.  Yes.

Cole and Lawler bicker, then we get the awesome annual Rumble “By The Numbers” video!

Hype for the Rumble title matches.

Cole announces next week’s main event, Edge vs. The Miz in a champion vs. champion match.

John Cena gives some guy a DVD and some instructions.  He’ll face Punk NEXT!  Commercials.

CM Punk comes out with the New Nexus.  He stares at them.  They salute him, then leave.  I guess this was to show how creepy Punk is.  They show the initiations from last week.

CM Punk vs. John Cena.  They stare at each other.  Cena beats up Punk.  Punk lands a stiff kick to Punk’s shoulder, the baseball slide dropkicks him out of the ring.  Commercials.  This late in the show?  That’s weird.  Punk has Cena in a figure-four headlock.  Cena stands up.  Punk slips off and hits a DDT for 2.  Punk keeps the heat going on Cena.  Cena makes his comeback.  Punk counters out of the Attitude Adjusment and lands a dropkick for 2.  Punk hits the knee to the corner and the bulldog for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Double clothesline spot.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Punk gets out and lands a high kick to the head.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk counters the AA again and hits a Complete Shot, then locks in a Koji Clutch like hold that is incorrectly called the Anaconda Vice.  Cena fights his way to a rope break.  Cena rolls to the apron.  Punk boots him to the floor.  Punk goes for a slingshot dive.  Cena catches him, rams him into the post, and sets him back in the ring.  Cena goes to the top rope.  Punk cuts him off and tries to set something up.  Cena headbutts Punk to the mat and hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Some big dude (Mason Ryan) appears to distract Cena.  Punk kicks Cena in the head.  Punk spears his arm wide and smiles.  Big dude gives him a boot the face, so Punk wins by DQ in 15:42.  Okay match.  Ryan gives Cena a side Rock Bottom.  Otunga, McGillicutty, and Harris come out to protect Punk.  Ryan gets down on one knee.  Punk gives him a Nexus armband.  New Nexus all raise their arms as the show ends.

Pretty good show.