Archive for Perry Saturn

The Chuiresu Diaries 10/17/12: Chicken Soup for the Wrestling Geek’s Soul

Posted in ECW, WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2012 by Grappleholic

I’m trying something different here.  I don’t get to write reviews often anymore due to being a very stressed college senior, but every now and then I get the chance to watch a little bit of Pro Wrestling and would like to share my thoughts on it.  So, from time to time, I may post what I’m calling a diary with short thoughts on whatever I happen to watch that day.  Full show reviews may still happen in the future, if I ever have free time again.

I picked the the ECW Unreleased Vol. 1 Blu-ray recently, and this evening I’m taking a few hours off from stressing about life, the universe, and everything to enjoy it for a bit.

Former ECW announcer and current WWE.com guy Joey Styles is hosting this thing.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final: ECW Heavyweight Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (Hardcore TV, August 27, 1994).  This was the night Extreme Championship Wrestling was born.  Douglas and Scorpio had a very watchable little back and forth wrestling match, which Douglas won with a belly to belly suplex in 12:52 after Scorpio missed a moonsault.  But the post-match promo is where it’s at.  Douglas refuses the title, saying the NWA is a dead organization.  He instead declares his ECW title to be a World title.  Soon after, Eastern Championship Wrestling became Extreme Championship Wrestling.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven (w/ Stevie Richards & Beulah McGillicutty) (Hostile City Showdown, April 15, 1995).  Fun little brawl.  Raven gives Dreamer 3 consecutive DDTs, but Dreamer kicks out.  Dreamer DDTs Raven on the floor, but Stevie interferes.  Dreamer DDTs Stevie and the referee, then Beulah runs in.  Dreamer gives her a piledriver and Philadelphia, apparently big fans of domestic violence, love it.  Raven is announced as the winner by DQ.  Joey Styles puts it over as a moral victory for Dreamer.  Stevie carries Beulah to the back instead of allowing her to be stretchered.

Joey Styles puts over the workrate guys like Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero who got their first shot in the United States in ECW.

2 Cold Scorpio & Dean Malenko vs. ECW World Television Champion Eddie Guerrero & Taz  (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) (Heat Wave, 7/15/95).  The audio on some of these is pretty bad.  You can hear the announcer, but not the guys talking on the microphone.  So the banter before this match is completely lost on me.  This reminds me, I used to love Taz.  There’s something awesome about a short, stout guy who’s a total ass kicker.  If this isn’t the match where Taz broke his neck, it’s the same configuration of guys.  3 minutes in Eddie and Malenko tag in and start chain wrestling and I vomit rainbows in joy.  Scorpio and Taz have an awesome mat exchange that ends with Scorpio getting suplexed out of his boots.  For that matter, every combination of these guys is awesome, but Malenko and Eddie are two of my favorite wrestlers of all time.  Malenko puts Taz in a Sharpshooter that Joey Styles misidentifies as a Texas Cloverleaf.  I expect better from you, Joey!  I love how they’re working a really good wrestling match, but not at such a fast pace that you can’t digest anything.  Eddie hits a brainbuster that Malenko sells awesomely by convulsing like he just had a seizure.  He apparently still has feeling in his body, because he managed to kick out of the frog splash that followed.  Determined to paralyze Malenko, Eddie dropkicks him off the top turnbuckle to the floor.  Taz and Eddie hit a dropkick Doomsday Device.  That’s kind of neat.  Another Malenko/Eddie exchange with another misidentified Sharpshooter.  Have I forgotten what a Texas Cloverleaf is?  Okay, I googled it.  Looks like I’m the idiot.  Sorry, Joey.  Scorpio hits a dive to the floor.  Malenko tries to do one, but appears to lose his nerve and goes with an elbow smash off the apron.  More dives.  Paul E. hits Scorpio with the cell phone.  Taz hits a head-arm suplex for the pin.  State appointed referee Bill Alfonso orders the match restarted.  Scorpio superkicks Taz and Malenko hits the Tiger Driver on Eddie.  Alfonso fast counts the double pin to give it to Malenko and Scorpio in about 20 minutes.  This was pretty damned good, much to the surprise of no one.

ECW World Television Championship Match: “The Shooter” Dean Malenko (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero (Hardcore TV, July 28, 1995).  This match is great.  Seeing wrestlers of this caliber bust their asses for the sake of having a good match reminds me why I love professional wrestling.  Guerrero catches Malenko with a jackknife hold for the pin to recapture the title 11:47.

Joey Styles puts over Cactus Jack, always my favorite face of Foley.

Cactus Jack vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas (CyberSlam, 2/17/96).  Douglas jumps Cactus, who is wearing a jacket and tie for some reason.  That quickly goes, but Cactus is wearing a shirt underneath.  Good.  I’ve never seen Mick Foley shirtless, and I never want to.  The referee is Brian Hildebrand (aka Mark Curtis), God rest him.  Cactus is wearing the “Forgive me, Uncle Eric” shirt that I remember reading about in his first book.  Joey notes that Cactus didn’t come to wrestle tonight, hence the jacket, tie, and cowboy boots.  They brawl.  Crutches, guardrails, and chairs come into play.  Douglas hits a dive from the top rope into the crowd onto Cactus.  I’ve never seen that out of him.  Cactus does the “spit in the air and catch it in his mouth” bit, which is disgusting.  Joey Styles calls it “Vintage Cactus Jack” here in 1996, so fuck you, Michael Cole.  The referee hands Douglas an international object, which Douglas clocks Cactus with.  They’re handcuffs!  Douglas handcuffs Cactus and picks up a chair.  Cactus tries to fight back, but gets murdered in the face with a chair not as badly as he did with The Rock at Royal Rumble 1999, but still…  Cactus calls for help from Vince McMahon (this was right before Foley went to the WWF).  Since Vince doesn’t come out to help, Cactus calls for Mikey Whipwreck.  Douglas is trying to make Foley say “I Quit.”  So this really IS like Rumble ’99.  Douglas locks in a figure-four leglock.  Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a chair and… murders Cactus in the face with it.  Hildebrand counts the pin while Cactus is still in the figure-four in 15:42.  This was fun.

“Lion Heart” Chris Jericho vs. 2 Cold Scorpio (The Doctor Is In, 8/3/96).  There’s too much dancing in Scorpio’s entrance for my enjoyment.  I don’t know anything about dancing, so I don’t know if it’s even good or not.  This must have been one of Jericho’s last matches before going to WCW.  Good wrestling here.  Jericho goes a really wonky submission hold that even Joey can’t identify.  Crowd chants “This show sucks!”  I have no idea why.  They do some near falls.  Scorpio kicks Jericho out of the ring to the floor and says he’s going to finish him.  Jericho stays in the game, though.  Jericho tries to spring off the top and hit Scorpio on the apron, but eats the floor instead.  Scorpio hits a diving leg drop that I thought might be the finish, but Jericho’s got some fight left.  Jericho hits his rebound from the turnbuckle into a dropkick to the apron deal.  There should be an easier way to say that.  Scorpio hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top that wins i… NO!  OMGWTF JERICHO KICKED OUT.  More counters and near falls.  They do some mildly crazy bumps, such as when Jericho powerslams Scorpio off the top rope.  Scorpio hits a Tombstone Piledriver and a Shooting Star press for the pin in 19:58.  Okay, yeah, this was pretty good.

Joey Styles talks about Sabu.

Tables & Ladders Match for the ECW World Tag Team Championship: The Eliminators (c) vs. Sabu & Rob Van Dam (CyberSlam, 2/22/97).  Saturn says the winners of this match will be the best team in the world.  That’s a stretch.  Tables and ladders are legal in this match, so of course, RVD and Saturn start with back and forth wrestling while the partners stand politely on the apron.  They start bringing in the plunder and taking crazy bumps at around the 7 minute mark.  With these bumps into ladders, it’s no wonder Perry Saturn has always been a bit touched in the head.  Saturn splashes Van Dam off a ladder.  Sabu kicks the ladder into Kronus, then puts him through a table at ringside.  Joey with the classic “OH MY GOD!”  The Eliminators keep the title when Kronus pins RVD after 2 Total Eliminations in 20:40.  Wild and fun.

And now, a brief digression.  I was chatting with a friend on Facebook (shout out, Shawn!) about memories of early 2000s wrestling and the time that Triple H defended the WWF title against TAKA Michinoku on Raw popped into my head.  I searched YouTube, and…

WWF Championship Match: Triple H (c) (w/ Shane McMahon & WWF Women’s Champion Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TAKA Michinoku (w/ Funaki & The Acolytes) (RAW IS WAR, 4/10/00).  TAKA is a mystery opponent.  He hires the Acolyte Protection Agency to watch his back and they immediately run off Shane McMahon.  This match is all kinds of fun.  TAKA gets his shine and Jim Ross convinces you that he has a shot to win the WWF title.  It doesn’t help that Hunter is being a real shit ass to referee Earl Hebner.  Earl lets it go when Funaki dropkicks Triple H into the APA and the APA beat the hell out of him.  Vince and Shane McMahon come out and distract the Acolytes.  The Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan Pearl Harbor TAKA’s protectors, and Hunter hits the Pedigree for the pin in 5:53.  The dastardly heels put the boots to The Acolytes.  Man, this was fun and brought back fond memories of being a 12 year old WWF mark.

I’ve had a rough week and felt pretty miserable about life a few hours ago.  This heaping does of pro wrestling nostalgia was exactly what I needed.  I hope to find some free time again soon to watch the rest of the ECW set and the new CM Punk release.

WCW SuperBrawl VIII (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

The shows opens with a Sting/Hogan hype video.

Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan are on commentary LIVE from the Cow Palace in San Francisco.  They talk about what’s going to happen TONIGHT, then send it to David Penzer to introduce the first match!

WCW World Television Championship Match:
Rick Martel (c) vs. Booker T.  The winner of this match will defend the title against Perry Saturn later tonight.  Martel offers a handshake, then tries to jump Booker.  He was at worst a tweener on the last PPV, so I’m going to make a wild assumption that he at least half ass turned heel to win the belt from Booker on TV between the PPVs.  Back and forth match early on.  The Flock is in the crowd watching.  They do a lot of the same stuff from their previous PPV match.  The audio on the show is kind of wonky, the commentary isn’t as loud as usual.  Martel sends Booker into the guardrail to get the advantage and builds the heat.  Booker hits a side slam.  He misses an elbow drop but Spinaroonies up and hits an elbow smash.  Martel fights back and gets a near fall off of a powerslam.  Booker fights back again, but Martel hits a spinebuster and locks in the crab hold.  Booker gets a rope break.  Martel hits a crossbody, but Booker rolles through and gets a near fall, then gets another with a reverse cradle.  Martel gets his own near fall with a lariat.  Booker bounces off the ropes and hits a big forearm, then the scissors kick and slam.  Booker goes up top and goes for a crossbody, but Martel ducks.  Martel dives off the top rope, but Booker catches him with the Harlem Side Kick to win the title at 10:33.  Saturn jumps in the ring, tosses Martel, and attacks Booker, which gives us…

WCW World Television Championship Match:
Booker T (c) vs. Perry Saturn.  Saturn locks in the Rings of Saturn, but Booker gets a rope break.  Saturn tries to get the pin with various cradles, then chokes Booker with his shirt.  Booker hits his rollup out of the corner for a near fall, but Saturn immediately goes back to kicking his ass.  Saturn beats up Booker on the outside of the ring.  Booker gets a brief second wind and reverses an Irish whip to send Saturn into the guardrail.  He can’t follow up though, and Saturn jumps on him again.  Back in the ring, Booker gets beat up some more.  Booker catches Saturn with a slam.  Saturn knocks him out of the ring again and hits a dive.  Saturn beats on Booker some more.  Booker ducks a shot and hits a forearm.  Saturn ducks a charging Booker, who takes a funny looking bump bouncing off the turnbuckle.  Saturn hits a backdrop suplex off of the middle rope.  Saturn keeps trying to pin Booker to close to the ropes.  Saturn goes for a superplex, but Booker counters it with a front suplex and hits his missile dropkick.  Everytime Booker hits a move, he has to take a moment to breathe and can’t finish Saturn off.  Saturn hits an Exploder, but now he’s sleepy too.  Saturn finally gets around to making the cover, but Booker kicks out.  Saturn hits a nice belly-to-belly for another near fall.  Saturn hits a springboard moonsault to knock Booker down.  They slowly make it back to their feet.  Saturn beats Booker down and chokes him.  Booker tries to climb the ropes but kind of stumbles back into a Saturn suplex.  Saturn wears down Booker with a chin lock.  Tenay announces that Martel’s knee was injured in the previous match.  Booker and Saturn run the ropes and crossbody each other.  Booker hits a slam, the scissors kick, and a sidewalk slam.  Booker goes for the Harlem Hangover, but Saturn moves.  Saturn hits a various suplexes for near falls.  Booker nails the Harlem Side Kick out of nowhere for the win at 14:24.  The Booker/Martel match was fine, though I liked their match from the previous PPV better.  Booker/Saturn was good too and worked well in the context of this whole thing.

I don’t know how true the details are, but according to Wikipedia, Martel was supposed to win these matches.  He injured his knee and broke his leg in the Booker match, so they improvised a new finish.  Then, Booker and Saturn called their whole match in the ring.  Martel would return in July and reinjure himself in his first match back before retiring for good.  I emailed Meltzer and he says it’s true.

La Parka vs. Disco Inferno.  Apparently, they’re feuding over who is the better dancer.  Naturally, the way to settle a disagreement over dancing is to have a wrestling match.  A minute in, La Parka sends Disco out of the ring with a kick and hits a suicide dive.  The audio on this show is very odd.  You can hear what’s going on where the cameras are shooting a lot louder than you can hear the announcers.  Parka controls the match for a while.  Disco has a brief comeback, then gets kicked in the face.  Parka headscissors Disco out of the ring, then hits a tope suicida.  Back in the ring, Disco starts fighting back.  The ref gets nailed somehow while my wife was blocking the TV.  Parka brings his chair in and politely lets Disco sit down.  Parka goes to the top rope.  Disco stops him and goes for a superplex, but Parka counters.  Parka ends up taking a bump facefirst into the chair.  Disco hits the Chart Buster to get the win at 11:41.  Not a bad match, but I thought it was about twice as long as a feud over dance moves deserves.

Mean Gene Okerlund is with JJ Dillon.  Dillon calls out referee Nick Patrick and reinstates him, but he’s not going to be the referee in the main event tonight.

Brad Armstrong vs. Bill Goldberg.  This is a special bonus match.  Armstrong tries, but Goldberg is too much for him.  Goldberg tosses him around a bit and no sells everything Armstrong tries.  Spear, Jackhammer, and the pin at 2:24.  Okay for what is, which wasn’t much.

WCW World Cruiserweight Championship vs. Mask Match:
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Juventud Guerrera (m).  Jericho loves the belt so much he wrestles with it on.  He gets hurt when Juventud spin kicks the belt, so he finally takes it off.  Juventud hits a neat rana off the apron on Jericho.  Jericho plays dead so he’ll get counted out and keep the belt.  Juventud brings him back in.  Jericho goes for a German, but Juventud lands on his feet.  Jericho hits his springboard dropkick the guy off the apron move.  They go outside a bit, then Jericho comes back in and catches a sprinboarding Juventud and Tombstones him for a near fall.  Juventud gets a near fall off of a victory roll.  Jericho locks in a backbreaker hold and thinks he got the win.  He gets angry when he realises he didn’t.  Juventud flies off the top rope and tries the victory roll again, but gets dropped.  Jericho climbs the ropes, but Juventud dropkicks him and he goes to the floor.  Juvi hits a dive to the outside and brings Jericho back to the ring.  Juvi hits a Michinoku Driver and the 450 splash for the pin… but Jericho’s hand was on the bottom rope!  Jericho clips Juvi’s leg.  Juvi counters a move with a front cradle but Jericho kicks out.  Stuff happens kinda quick.  Juvi hits a swank springboard avalanche Frankensteiner.  Jericho hits a reverse brainbuster, but misses the Lionsault.  Jericho goes for the Liontamer, but Juventud counters with a cradle for a near fall.  Juvi goes for a Frankensteiner, but Jericho counters and locks in the Liontamer for the win at 13:29.  Okay match.  It got better after the false finish.  Juvi slowly and sadly undoes his mask.  Jericho, the unsensitive bastard, yanks it off.

Steve McMichael vs. The British Bulldog.  Bulldog goes all out at Mongo to start.  Mongo fights back.  Back and forth power match.  Bulldog puts Mongo in the Sharpshooter.  Mongo gets a rope break.  They spill outside and Mongo kicks Davey Boy’s ass.  Bulldog starts working over Mongo’s arm.  Back in the ring, Mongo does his football tackle a couple of times.  He goes for the Tombstone, but Bulldog grabs a Fujiwara armbar for the win at 6:10.  Mongo gets mad at the referee because he didn’t submit.  I guess it was a referee stop.  Match wasn’t anything special, but not offensive.  At least it was kept short.

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship Match: Diamond Dallas Page (c) vs. Chris Benoit.  Page looks remarkably like a construction worker with elbow pads.  They trade hammerlocks.  Page takes some punishment.  Benoit goes for the Crippler Crossface early, but Page escapes before he can lock it in and bails.  He comes back in and they do a quick pinfall reversal sequence.  Benoit fires up with chops.  Page fights back and goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Benoit slips away and bails to take a breather.  Tempers flare and they start throwing punches.  Benoit works Page over, wearing him down with a sleeper.  Page finally hits a jawbreaker to get out if it.  Page gets a second wind and throws some punches, but Benoit suplexes him and goes back to the sleeper.  Page escapes again, Benoit locks it in again.  Page somehow throws Benoit out of the ring.  Benoit climbs to the top rope, but Page pushes the ropes to crotch him and hits a superplex.  Page hits his spinning lariat for a near fall, then a diving lariat for another.  Benoit locks in the Crippler Crossface, but Page gets a rope break.  Page gets an inside cradle for a near fall.  Benoit covers and gets a two count as well.  Benoit beats on Page in the corner.  Page hits a belly-to-belly for a two count.  Rolling Germans from Benoit for a near fall.  Page hits a big tornado DDT, but Benoit kicks out.  Page goes for the Diamond Cutter.  Benoit counters and goes for a backslide.  Page counters and hits the Diamond Cutter for the win at 15:49.  Really good match.

Cut to the announcers.  Tony announces that The Giant missed his flight and isn’t there tonight.  The Jackknife Powerbomb has been banned since Nash almost murdered The Giant last month.  Video package on the aforementioned Giant/Nash match last month.

No DQ Match:
Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Lex Luger.  There’s a production boo boo during the entrances, as the start of the Steiners’ music plays before Luger’s music.  Luger has taped ribs.  Luger tries a press slam but can’t do it because of the rib injury.  Savage, of course, works on the ribs.  Luger tries to get a quick pin with an inside cradle, but Savage kicks out and attacks the ribs again.  Luger eventually makes a comeback and gets Savage in the Torture Rack, but Elizabeth attacks him.  nWo jobbers run in to cause the DQ in the No DQ Match at 7:21.  Luger and Savage fight off Norton, Bagwell,  Brian Adams, and Vincent.  Hogan comes out and says he’s glad Savage got beat.  Luger is announced as the winner.  All the results sites say the result is Luger by submission, but that’s not how it looked.  Retarded fucking shit.  Ah, on replay you can see the referee signaling for the bell when Savage was in the rack, so the timekeeper is the fucking retard here.

WCW World Tag Team Championship Match: The Steiner Brothers (c) (w/ Ted Dibiase) vs. The Outsiders (w/ Dusty Rhodes).  Hall conducts his survey before the match.  For some reason, the Steiners wear the new tag belts while Dibiase carries the old belts.  Hall throws his toothpick in Rick’s face and Rick throws his fist in Hall’s face.  Rick punches Hall a bunch, then suplexes him.  Nash comes in and gets sent out of the ring.  The Outsiders take a breather as the Steiners do their pose in the ring, then Scott attacks Rick!  Dusty throws Dibiase into the ring post.  The Outsiders and Scott do the nWo sign.  Hall covers Rick… who kicks out!  Rick takes a beating, but then fights back!  Nash nails Rick from behind and Hall goes for the Outsider’s Edge.  He fails the first time, but then hits it and gets the win at 4:18.  Scott hands Hall and Nash the belts.

Uncensored, next month LIVE on PPV!

Michael Buffer is in the ring to introduce the main event.

WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Hollywood Hogan vs. Sting.  Sting charges the ring and Hogan whips him with his belt.  Hogan uses various dirty tricks to get the better of Sting early on.  After about six minutes of being beaten by grandma Hogan, Sting makes a comeback.  Sting takes off Hogan’s belt and whips him with it.  Hogan tries to leave, but Sting follows and chokes him with the belt.  Sting accidentally Stinger Splashes the guardrail and Hogan goes to work on him again.  Sting fights back and hits the Stinger Splash, then locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hogan gets a rope break.  Referee Charles Robinson gets sandwiched between Hogan and Sting in another Stinger Splash.  Nick Patrick comes in as Hogan hits the leg drop.  Patrick makes a fair two count.  Hogan gets angry at Patrick for calling the match fairly.  Hogan goes for the pin about 348 times in a minute, but Sting keeps lifting a shoulder.  Sting powers out and Hogan stops on his hands.  Hogan throws Sting out of the ring, beats him up a bit, brings him back in the ring, and punches him in the balls.  Sting makes a comeback and hits some Stiner Splashes and Scorpion Death Drop, but Hogan kicks Patrick at the same time.  The nWo runs in and Sting fights them off while Savage comes in and nails Hogan with something.  Sting covers Hogan for the win at 16:34.  Sting spraypaints “WCW” on Hogan’s chest.  Long, boring match.

I was expecting good things after Souled Out was such a good show.  This one isn’t very good.  The great DDP/Benoit match is the only saving grace of this show.