Archive for Over The Limit

WWE Extreme Rules 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2012 by Grappleholic

WWE open, awesome PPV opening video, pryo and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.  Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez are the Spanish announcers.

They show the shenanigans leading up to Kane vs. Randy Orton involving their respective fathers, Paul Bearer and Bob Orton Jr.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Kane vs. Randy Orton.  They brawl.  Orton gets punched off the top to the floor.  Cover on the floor gets 2.  Kane brings in a leg pipe.  Orton cuts him off and hits him with the pipe a few times, knocking him back to the floor on the last shot.  They fight in the crowd.  Orton knees Kane in the face for 2.  Kane slams Orton on the concrete for 2.  More crowd brawling.  They end up near the set.  Orton lands a dropkick for 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and boots Orton in the face for 2.  They brawl backstage.  They end up in a room with some geeks.  Zack Ryder attacks Kane, which only pisses him off.  Kane goozles Ryder, but Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  Back into the hallway.  Kane throws something at Orton and covers for 2.  Back into the arena.  Back into the ring.  Orton drops Kane with a clothesline and hits a powerslam.  Orton retrieves a chair from underneath the ring and attacks Kane with it.  Back outside, where Orton clears off the announce table.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Orton prevents it.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER off the table to the floor!  Cover gets 2.  Kane blocks the RKO and sends Orton into the post.  Cover gets 2.  Back inside, Kane goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex.  Cover gets 2.  Orton humps the mat.  Kane hits the chokeslam, but Orton kicks out!  Kane bitches at the referee.  Kane goes for the Tombstone on the chair.  Orton counts out and hits the RKO sort of on the chair for the pin in 16:45.  Fun match.

John Laurinaitis and Eve Torres are backstage with the Raw Roulette wheel.  Teddy Long brings in champagne.  He’s being humiliated after he lost his GM job at WrestleMania.  Laurinaitis gets a phone call from Triple H.

Chicago!

“The Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/ Hornswoggle, Cameron, & Naomi) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger).  They lock up.  Clay overpowers Ziggler.  Ziggler tries to take Clay down, but fails.  Swagger distracts Clay, allowing Ziggler to dropkick him out of the ring.  Ziggler distracts the referee while Swagger hits a shoulder block on the floor.  Back inside, Ziggler goes on the attack.  Clay goes for a knee lift, but Ziggler dropkicks his knee, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 1.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Clay fights out.  Ziggler stays on the attack.  He goes for a suplex, but fails.  Clay throws him with a front suplex and makes his comeback.  Clay knocks Swagger on the apron.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but fails.  Clay hits a headbutt and a big splash for the pin in 4:18.  It was fine for what it was.

Earlier in the day, The Big Show and Cody Rhodes played Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal to determine the stipulation for their Intercontinental title match tonight.  It’s a Tables Match.

Lillian Garcia is the other ring announcer.

The show highlights of Show’s title victory over Rhodes at WrestleMania XXVIII.

Tables Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Big Show (c) vs. Cody Rhodes.  Show beats up Rhodes.  Rhodes bails after taking a big back body drop.  Show sets up a table on the outside and picks up Rhodes.  Rhodes slips off and chop blocks Show’s knee.  Show rallies and continues to beat and toss Rhodes around.  Show throws Rhodes and a table in the ring.  He throws Rhodes at the table in the corner, but Rhodes rebounds off of it and hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Rhodes charges, but Show shoulder blocks him.  Rhodes bails.  Show beats him up on the outside.  Show throws Rhodes back into the ring and gets in the apron.  Rhodes dropkicks Show, who steps through a table at ringside.  The referee rules Rhodes the winner in 4:35.  Stupid finish.  A pissed off Show drops Rhodes after the match, then chokeslams him through a table.  Crowd chants “One more time!”  Show press slams Rhodes out of the ring through another table.  Show leaves.  Rhodes is helped up and manages to hold up his belt while looking like he’s near tears.

Edge DVD plug.

Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan.  Will he become World Champion tonight?  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun interview.  He walks away and they show AJ sulking in the background.

Sheamus/Bryan hype video.

2/3 Falls Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan.  Sheamus is wearing a t-shirt with “18 seconds” written on it, the time in which he beat Bryan for the title at WrestleMania.  I timed it at 19 seconds, but that’s neither here nor there.  Sheamus grabs a headlock and lands a shoulder block.  They do a brief mat exchange.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Bryan avoids it.  Sheamus taunts Bryan with how close that was.  They trade arm locks.  Sheamus hits a Finlay Roll for 2.  For some reason, I don’t know the proper name for that move.  Sheamus rolls through a sunset flip and locks Bryan in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Bryan gets the ropes.  Sheamus goes for it again, but Bryan gets an inside cradle for 2.  Sheamus beats up Bryan.  Bryan lands a lariat.  Sheamus rolls to the apron and Bryan dropkicks him to the floor.  Bryan dives off the apron, but Sheamus catches him and sends him into the barricade.  Back inside, Sheamus goes up top, but Bryan crotches him and goes on the attack.  Bryan goes to work on Sheamus’ shoulder.  They trade strikes.  Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2.  More arm and shoulder torture inflicted by Bryan.  Sheamus makes his comeback and beats up Bryan.  Sheamus hits a fall away slam for 2.  Bryan gets a schoolboy for 2.  Bryan goes for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Sheamus holds on, then hits Bryan with a diving shoulder block for 2.  Sheamus tries to suplex Bryan in from the apron, but Bryan lands on his feet, then low bridges Sheamus out of the ring on the other side.  He goes for a dive, but Sheamus nails him.  Back inside, Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Bryan turns it into a cradle for 2.  Bryan goes for the Yes Lock, but Sheamus counters out repeatedly.  Bryan sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post repeatedly, then kicks the shit out of it while Sheamus is against the ropes.  This causes the referee to DQ Bryan, diving Sheamus the first fall at 14:30.  Bryan goes back on the attack and applies the Yes Lock.  Sheamus struggles, but goes out, and Bryan wins the second fall by referee stop at 16:39.  Bryan celebrates while the ringside doctor checks on Sheamus.  There are dueling “Yes!” and “No!” chants.  Sheamus tells the doctor he can continue.  Bryan charges Sheamus and eats a Brogue Kick.  Delayed cover gets 2.  They trade strikes.  Bryan lands a big kick to the head for 2.  Bryan goes up top.  Sheamus cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Bryan fights him off  and goes for a diving headbutt.  Sheamus avoids it.  Sheamus avoids Bryan in the corner and makes his comeback.  Sheamus lands another Brogue Kick for the pin in 22:55.  Very good match.

WWE YouTube channel plug.

Over the Limit commercial featuring Randy Orton.

Chicago!

Santino Marella is watching the monitor backstage.  2 jobbers are in the ring.  Great Khali comes over to watch too.

The jobbers are named Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton.  They cut a stupid promo about 2 being greater than one.

Handicap Match: Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton vs. Ryback.  There’s a smattering of “Goldberg!” chants.  The jobber with the ridiculous pants attacks Ryback to no avail.  Ryback kills him.  He orders the other jobber to tag in.  The fellow wisely demurs.  Ryback tosses him in anyway and kills him.  Ryback hits the second jobber with a backpack stunner.  Crowd chants “Finish him.”  Ryback kills ridiculous pants with sort of a Fisherman buster Samoan drop, then pins them both in 1:50.  Santino and Khali are impressed.

Matt Striker interviews WWE Champion CM Punk.  Tonight he faces Chris Jericho, who has been insulting his family, in a Chicago Street Fight.

Plug for the PPV theme song.

Punk/Jericho hype video.

Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  This is Punk’s hometown, and members of his family are in the front row.  They brawl, because this is a street fight, see.  Punk throws some plunder into the ring.  He whacks Jericho with a Singapore cane.  Jericho drops Punk with a dropkick and gets hold of the cane.  He whacks Punk, then hits his trademark springboard dropkick to the apron, sending Punk to the floor.  Jericho beats up Punk on the outside.  Back inside, Jericho exposes a turnbuckle.  Punk fires back with chops.  Jericho avoids the running knee to the corner and Punk takes another spill outside.  Jericho beats up Punk right in front of his family.  He gets in Punk’s sister’s face and gets slapped.  Jericho lunges for her and Punk kicks his ass.  Punk slams Jericho through the announce table cover.  Punk goes for a piledriver, but Jericho back body drops him, then hits him with a monitor.  Jericho breaks the other announce table cover over Punk’s back.  Back inside, Jericho covers for 2.  Jericho applies a rear chin lock.  Punk escapes with a backdrop suplex.  Punk pulls Jericho’s throat over the top rope and goes for his springboard lariat, but trips.  Jericho wails on him with the Singapore cane.  Jericho taunts Punk and gets caught with an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho responds with something that gets 2.  Jericho brings in a can of beer, which he pours on Punk.  He brings in another beer and starts drinking it.  Punk, meanwhile, starts kicking his ass.  Punk hits the running knee to the corner and the bulldog headlock, then pulls the Singapore cane into Jericho’s balls and signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Punk counters and hits a powerslam for 2.  Punk goes up top, but Jericho crotches him.  They fight on the top rope.  Punk sends Jericho to the mat with a Mongolian chop, then hits the diving elbow drop for 2.  Jericho counts the Go 2 Sleep again and hits a bulldog.  He goes for the Lionsault, but Punk catches him, picks him up on h is shoulders, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Jericho counters again and throws Punk into a chair wedged between the turnbuckles.  Jericho gets a schoolboy for 2.  Jericho catches Punk with the Codebreaker and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Punk manages to reach the ropes.  It’s a street fight, so the referee can’t force a break.  Punk somehow gets hold of a fire extinguisher and sprays Jericho with it to escape the hold.  Punk hits Jericho in the stomach with it and sends him to the floor.  Another shot to the gut followed by a kick to the head by Punk.  Jericho is on top of the Spanish announce table.  Punk goes to the top rope and hits the diving elbow through the table.  Punk throws Jericho back into the ring and covers for 2.  Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice.  Jericho whacks Punk with the Singapore cane to escape.  Punk hits Jericho with a chair.  Jericho catches him with a Codebreaker into the chair.  Cover only gets 2.  Jericho is getting frustrated.  He beats on Punk some more.  Jericho tries to give Punk the Go 2 Sleep, just to be a dick.  Punk catches Jericho’s leg and catapults  him into the exposed turnbuckle, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 25:14.  This turned out to be a hell of a match.  Punk celebrates with his friends and family.

Don’t try this at home!

Earlier tonight on the pre-show, Santino Marella defeated The Miz with the Cobra to retain the United States Championship.

The Bella Twins and Beth Phoenix bicker backstage.  Eve Torres says Beth isn’t cleared to wrestle.  Whichever Bella is champion will now defend the title against a surprise opponent who isn’t Kharma.

The show Nikki Bella beating Beth for the Divas title last week on Raw after Beth injured her ankle.  The Bellas cut a promo.  The opponent is the returning Layla.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (c) (w/ Brie Bella) vs. Layla.  They lock up.  Lots of movement from Layla.  Brie trips Layla behind the ref’s back, allowing Nikki to get the advantage.  She DDTs Layla’s foot for 2.  I fucking hate that spot.  Layla gets an inside cradle for 1.  Nikki does whatever.  Layla hits a springboard cross body for 1, then knocks the other Bella off the apron.  Nikki gets the advantage.  Layla gets a wonky cradle.  Nikki counters.  The twins pull the switcheroo.  Brie goes for a facebuster, but Layla turns it into a hangman’s neckbreaker for the pin to win the title in 2:28.  This sucked.

Matt Striker asks John Laurinaitis what he and Triple H were talking about.  Johnny doesn’t tell him.

Chicago!

Lesnar/Cena hype video.

Extreme Rules Match: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena.  Lesnar takes Cena down and mauls him, then kills him with a lariat.  Cena is cut already.  The stop the match to check the cut.  I hate that shit, but I guess Brock is used to it now.  Cena charges Brock and gets taken down and mauled again.  Cena is sent outside.  He’s bleeding pretty bad.  Cena fights back as goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock will have none of that and gives him a couple of German suplexes.  Cena hits a shoulder block and knocks Brock into the referee.  The ref is dead, and Brock kills Cena some more.  Brock torments Cena’s arm with a Kimura, then tosses him from the ring again.  Brock follows Cena out and tortures his arm some more.  Back inside, Brock brings in Cena’s chain, then throws it aside because he’s Brock Lesnar and doesn’t need it.  He thinks again and uses it to chain Cena’s legs together.  Brock hangs Cena from the turnbuckle and massacres him for a while.  Cena gets loose and fights back until he’s thrown into the steps.  Brock throws the referee back into the ring and wakes him up.  Cena has the chain his hand, but Brock steps on it and takes it away.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Brock counters and hits the F-5, but kills the referee again in the process.  Another referee runs out, but the delay allows Cena to kick out.  Brock clotheslines the new referee.  Brock brings the steps into the ring.  Cena does his “you can’t see me” and first back.  Brock locks in a Kimura on top of the steps.  Cena manages to pick Brock up and slam him on the steps.  Cena goes for the diving Fameasser, but Brock avoids it.  Brock prances on top of the steps while Cena struggles his way back into the ring.  Cena makes it onto the apron and Brock launches himself at Cena, taking a bad tumble and injuring his knee in the process.  Brock gets up and laughs it off.  He charges Cena again, but Cena punches him with the chain.  Brock is bleeding now.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on the steps for the pin in 17:42.  Aside from the stupidity of putting Cena over in Brock’s first match back, this was awesome.

Cena takes the mic after the match and cuts a promo putting over Chicago.  He says he’s going home, which is a lie.

Good show.  There were a few really good matches.  The main event is soured by the stupidity of Brock losing so quickly.

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 5/28/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  Tonight, Undertaker returns!  Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are our hosts TAPED from Cleveland, Ohio!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Smackdown GM Teddy Long comes to the ring.  He talks about the Fatal 4 Way PPV.  Winners of qualifying matches will join Jack Swagger and The Big Show in a match for the World title at the PPV.  The qualifiers are CM Punk vs. Kane and Rey Mysterio vs. The Undertaker.  Drew McIntyre comes out.  They show him getting dropped by Matt Hardy at Over The Limit.  McIntyre says he should still be champion, even though he got pinned clean in the middle of the ring.  McIntyre says his arm was cut.  Oh, get him some vagisil and shut him up.  He has no charisma and he’s nothing special in the ring.  He gives Teddy Long another note from Vince that says Matt Hardy is suspended indefinitely.  Crowd boos.  McIntyre says if Long doesn’t coddle him, he’ll be fired.  Matt Hardy comes out ready to kick some ass, but Teddy and security hold him back.  I pray that eventually somebody cuts a promo calling McIntyre out for being a whiny little girl.

World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre vs. The Big Show & WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  Swagger says he’s still the World Heavyweight Champion about 32 times.  The only way heels can get real heat from me anymore are by being annoying, it seems.  Swagger and Kingston start.  Good stuff there, as usual.  McIntyre tags in and gets schooled by Kofi.  Kofi hits a monkey flip for 2.  McIntyre tires of being Kofi’s bitch and tries to tag out.  Big Show tags in, and Swagger wants none of that.  Swagger drops off the apron as Show destroys McIntyre.  Swagger attacks Show from behind, but gets knocked out of the ring.  Kofi clotheslines McIntyre out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Show continues beating up McIntyre.  Kofi tags in and hits a slingshot splash on McIntyre for 2.  Kofi works McIntyre’s arm.  Kofi continues to shine until Swagger pulls him off the apron and he smacks his face on the apron on the way down.  The bad guys get heat on Kofi, who the crowd is solidly behind.  Kofi makes an awesome face in peril, especially since the crowd is so into him.  He catches Swagger with a kick and a rebound cross body.  McIntyre gets the tag and cuts Kofi off from making the tag.  Kofi rolls under him and makes the hot tag to Show.  Show runs wild on McIntyre and shoves Swagger out of the ring.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock and fails.  Swagger stands outside and watches while Show hits the KO punch on McIntyre for the pin (11:04 shown).  Very good tag match.

Tonight, Undertaker vs. Mysterio!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The Straight Edge Society is backstage.  Punk has his head covered by a towel.  Serena and Gallows assure him that he looks fine.  Punk decides that he doesn’t care what the fans think.

Vickie Guerrero yells at Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins in Spanish.  They leave.  Dolph Ziggler comes in.  Vickie is smitten with him.  Gross.  She books Ziggler & Chavo Guerrero vs. Christian & Hornswoggle for tonight.  She also wants to fuck him.  Gross again.

The Straight Edge Society comes out.  Punk pulls the towel off to reveal… a mask.  With the goatee, it makes him look like Delirious.

Undertaker vs. Mysterio TONIGHT!

Fatal 4 Way Qualifying Match: CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Kane.  Punk goes on the attack.  Kane drops him with a punch.  Punk in a mask looks weird.  Kane beats up Punk.  Kane goes for the mask and Punk bails.  Insta-commercials.  Punk throws some kicks at Kane.  Kane retaliates with punches and elbows.  They fight outside.  Punk injures Kane’s leg.  Punk works the injured leg.  Kane tries to fight back, but Punk cuts him off by attacking the leg again.  Kane catches Punk with a punch for 2.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Punk kicks the bad leg.  Kane throws Punk out of the ring.  Sloppy bump by Punk.  Punk hits a diving cross body, but Kane rolls through for 2.  Punk counters the chokeslam and kicks the leg again.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Kane tries to pull the mask off.  Serena distracts the ref while Gallows decks Kane.  Punk lands a kick on Kane and hits a horribly botched Go 2 Sleep for the pin (10:21 shown).  Good match up until the botched finish.  Apparently it was even worse before they edited it.

Tonight, Undertaker vs. Mysterio.

Christian & Hornswoggle vs. Dolph Ziggler & Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Christian and Chavo start with good stuff.  Chavo goes for the Three Amigos, but Christian counters the third and hits the reverse DDT.  Hornswoggle tags in and puts the boots to Chavo until he gets kicked in the face.  The heels get heat on Hornswoggle.  That’s kind of hilarious.  Hornswoggle avoids a shot from Ziggler and makes the hot tag to Christian.  Christian runs wild on Chavo while Ziggler sells a face bump into the corner.  Christian hits a diving European uppercut and signals for the Killswitch, but Chavo avoids it and kicks his ass.  Christian hits his corner kick and a missile dropkick.  Cover, but Ziggler saves.  Hornswoggle goes after Ziggler, but gets thrown out of the ring.  Christian clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring.  Chavo hits a brainbuster and goes for the frog splash, but Christian avoids it and hits the Killswitch for the pin in 4:15.  It was fine, but I was really hoping Chavo would finally win one.  Ziggler jumps Christian and puts him down with the sleeper after the match, to Vickie’s delight.

Yes, thank you fuckers, I KNOW Undertaker vs. Mysterio is tonight.  You’ve told me 10 fucking times.

Cleveland.

Next week, Kofi Kingston defends the Intercontinental Championship against Drew McIntyre.

Josh Matthews interviews the Women’s Champions, Lay Cool.  I hate them.  They blow Josh off and cut their promo.  They are the most annoying humans on the planet.

Luke Gallows (w/ Serena) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  They roll around on the mat and brawl.  MVP hops around and hits a forearm smash for 2.  Gallows knocks MVP off the apron to the floor.  Gallows beat up MVP.  MVP makes his comeback.  Gallows bails after taking the Ballin’ elbow.  MVP hits a clothesline off the apron and throws Gallows back in.  MVP goes up top.  Serena distracts him.  The masked guy appears and DDTs MVP on the apron.  Gallows hits the choke bomb for the pin in 4:16.  Fine, I guess.

Undertaker vs. Mysterio next.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Raw Rebound.

Fatal 4 Way Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. The Undertaker.  As usual, Mysterio tries to use his speed and Undertaker overpowers him.  Mysterio avoids the running big boot and dropkicks Taker off the apron.  Taker gets pissed.  They play chase, then Mysterio hits an Asai moonsault.  Insta-commercials.  Mysterio ducks Taker’s punches and kicks his legs.  Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Mysterio avoids it.  Taker goes for the Last Ride, but Mysterio slips out.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold and goes for the 619, but eats Taker’s boot.  Taker throws Mysterio out of the ring.  Undertaker rams Mysterio into the post.  Undertaker beats up Mysterio on the outside, then back in the ring.  Mysterio is a fighting little bastard, though.  He half ass ranas Taker into the turnbuckles, then hits the springboard Bombs Away and a low altitude dropkick for 2.  Another springboard Bombs Away for 2.  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the springboard splash, but Taker catches him by the throat.  Mysterio keeps fighting.  Taker hits snake eyes.  Mysterio ducks the big boot and tries a springboard moonsault, but Taker catches him and hits the Tombstone for the pin (7:24 shown).  Good match.

Good show this week!

WWE Monday Night Raw 5/24/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Cena/Batista Over The Limit highlights, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers LIVE from Toledo, Ohio!  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Batista comes to the ring, wounded and helped by referees.  He sits in a wheelchair and demands his spotlight.  He says he only said “I Quit” last night because his life was in danger.  He’s contemplating a lawsuit against John Cena, WWE, and all of the fans.  He says his injuries could keep him out for years.  Everyone cheers.  Then he says he wants a rematch.  Justin Roberts interrupts to introduces the new Raw General Manager, Bret Hart!  Hart says he’s in charge now and at Fatal 4 Way, John Cena will defend the WWE Championship against three opponents that will have to win qualifying matches tonight.  Batista says he’s hurt.  Hart says Batista’s opponent will be another hurt man, Randy Orton.  Batista says Bret can’t make him compete.  Hart says he can either take it or forfeit.  Batista says if Hart does that, he’ll quit.  Bret says Orton wins by forfeit and leaves.  Batista yells about how important he is and quits.  Crowd cheers.  Yay!  Batista leaves as the crowd sings the goodbye song.

WWE.com plug.

Moments ago, Batista quit.

Fatal 4 Way Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Sheamus.  Henry overpowers Sheamus to start and throws him out of the ring.  Sheamus pulls Henry’s arm over the top rope.  Sheamus goes on the attack and works Henry’s arm.  Henry makes a comeback.  Henry hits a big splash for 2.  Sheamus goes up top.  Henry tries to press slam him, but it hurts his arm.  Sheamus hits the pump kick for the pin in 4:03.  It was a match.

So far, the PPV match is Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus.

Being the new GM, Bret Hart has vacated the United States Championship.  Tonight, The Miz vs. R-Truth for the vacant title!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tonight, Jon Lovitz’s Superstar Search.  Fuch.

Jon Lovitz talks to Mr. McMahon on the phone.  Maryse comes in.  Lovitz thinks she’s the masseuse.  He says he’s been teaching a submission move to Santino.  He speaks French to her.  She’s interested in something.  He blows her off.  She jumps at him and he flinches.  Fucking retarded segment.

Bret Hart talks to Edge, who wants a title shot.  They negotiate.  Chris Jericho comes in.  He also wants a title shot.  Bret says they’ll face John Cena in a Triple Threat Match tonight, and if one of them wins, they’re in the Fatal 4 Way.  Edge says he’s a better champion and Canadian than both Hart and Jericho.  Jericho tells Hart not to make an enemy out of him.  Whatever.

Slam of the Week: Eve Torres beat Maryse to retain the Divas Title at Over The Limit.

Maryse & Alicia Fox vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres & Gail Kim.  Fox and Gail go at it.  Maryse tags in and beats up Gail.  Eve gets the hot tag and runs wild on Maryse.  Eve hits a standing moonsault.  Fox saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Fox kicks Eve and Maryse hits the DDT for the pin in 2:04.  Whatever.

Last week, Bret Hart beat The Miz for the United States Championship in a ludicrous match.  Now the title is vacant, but will be decided NEXT!

WWE United States Championship Match: R-Truth vs. The Miz.  R-Truth raps during his entrance and Miz cuts a promo during his.  Miz plays chickenshit, then cheap shots R-Truth to get the early advantage.  Truth responds with his wacky strikes and gets a front cradle for 2.  Miz bails.  Insta-commercials.  Miz beats up Truth on the outside.  Crowd chants “BORING!”  During the break, R-Truth failed a suicide dive and landed on his head.  Back in the ring, cover gets 2.  Miz beats up Truth.  Truth hits a spider German suplex for 2.  Truth makes his comeback.  Missile dropkick gets 2.  Complete Shot gets 2.  Truth hits a diving cross body, but Miz rolls through for 2.  Miz hits the reverse DDT backbreaker and goes for the neckbreaker, but Truth gets a backslide for 2.  Truth gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz avoids the scissors kick, but Truth hits the Lie Detector for the pin (7:14 shown) to win the United States Championship!  Pretty good match.

Earlier tonight, the Batista stuff happened.

Tonight, Cena vs. Jericho vs. Edge.

Josh Matthews interviews the WWE Champion, John Cena.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Jon Lovitz comes out flanked by the Bella Twins.  They’re going to judge this stupid thing.  This guy is so fucking annoying and needs to fuck off and die, then fuck off again.  Great Khali and Ranjin Singh “sing.”  Jillian Hall comes out and Lovitz hits the buzzer before she can do anything.  Thank God for that.  He calls for the fans to show talent.  Some guy named Joe says he can pull his eye out of his face.  The guy pulls his glass eye out.  Gross.  Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. and Virgil come out.  Thank God.  Dibiase offers to buy the guy’s eyeball.  He says he can’t sell it.  Santino Marella comes out.  Marella threatens to use Lovitz’s submission hold to Virgil.  Lovitz babbles.  Marella does the Vulcan nerve pinch thing and takes out Virgil.  He tries it on Dibiase, but fails.  Dibiase hits the Dream Street.  Lovitz declares Dibiase the winner of the talent contest.  Stupidest fucking segment ever.

Cole and Lawler talk about everything that’s going on.  Earlier tonight, Sheamus beat Mark Henry.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya) vs. William Regal & Vladimir Kozlov.  Regal clobbers Kidd with an elbow.  Kozlov tags in and hits a powerslam for 2.  Kidd fights out of a Canadian backbreaker and kicks Kozlov in the head.  Smith tags in and beats up Kozlov.  Kozlov counters the running powerslam and tags in Regal.  Smith avoids the knee trembler and makes the tag.  Hart Attack.  Kidd pins Regal in 1:20.  The Uso Brothers and Tamina make their debut by jumping the Hart Dynasty, laying them out, and hitting stereo Superfly splashes.

Josh Matthews interviews the remaining NXT rookies: Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and David Otunga.  Gabriel says Slater should be eliminated.  Barrett agrees.  Slater thinks Otunga should go.  Otunga says Slater should go.

They show the greatness that was Daniel Bryan beating up Michael Cole on NXT last week.  Cole says if Daniel Bryan doesn’t apologize tomorrow night, he’s going to sue him.

Edge and Chris Jericho bicker backstage.

John Cena is headed our way!  The main event is NEXT!

Next week’s guest host is Ashton Kutcher.  He can’t be worse than the fucknut we had to endure tonight.

Triple Threat Fatal 4 Way Qualifying Match: WWE Champion John Cena vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho.  Cena goes on the attack.  Jericho schoolboys him for 2.  Cena keeps fighting.  He clotheslines Edge out of the ring.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Cena counters and clotheslines him out of the ring too.  Insta-commercials.  Edge and Jericho beat up Cena.  Jericho sends Edge out of the ring and beats up Cena some more.  Suplex gets 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho DDTs him.  Cena avoids Jericho in the corner and Jericho spears the post.  Cena makes his comeback.  He fails the Attitude Adjustment again, I think.  Edge spears Jericho.  Cena locks Edge in the STF.  Jericho puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho.  Edge breaks free.  Jericho puts Edge in the Walls of Jericho.  Cena breaks it.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment on Jericho.  Edge spears Cena.  Delayed cover.  Jericho breaks it and goes for the Walls again.  Edge counters and gets an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho hits Edge with an enzuigiri.  Cena clotheslines Jericho.  Cena and Edge counter each other.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cena.  Edge spears Jericho for the pin (7:32 shown).  Edge qualifies for Fatal 4 Way.  Sheamus and Randy Orton come out so the Fatal 4 Way participants can all stare at each other.

Okay show overall.  A couple of things were good and some stuff was meh, but the Jon Lovitz stuff was motherfucking horrible.  They need to end the guest host shit NOW.

WWE Over The Limit 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Over The Limit open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Neat set in the modern world where all sets look pretty much the same.  We’re LIVE from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers!  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

The Intercontinental Championship match is on first.  They show Kofi Kingston winning the championship 2 weeks ago on Smackdown, only to have it taken away and returned to Drew McIntyre.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Kofi Kingston.  Kofi is in full “You screwed me and I’m pissed, so I’m gonna kick your ass” mode.  Kofi sends McIntyre to the outside and lands a tope suicida.  McIntyre bails to avoid the Boom Drop and ends up ramming Kofi into the post.  McIntyre beats up Kofi.  Gut buster gets 2.  McIntyre applies a shoulder hold.  Kofi makes a comeback and hits a diving cross body for 2.  McIntyre hits another gut buster for 2.  Kofi sends McIntyre’s shoulder into the post.  Boom Drop in the corner.  Cole gets in his obligatory “Controlled frenzy” line.  McIntyre ducks the Trouble In Paradise and goes for the Future Shock.  Kofi counters and hits the SOS for the pin in 6:23 to win the Intercontinental Championship for real this time.  It was okay, not a lot to it.  McIntyre says he’s stopping the PPV until Teddy Long reverses the decision.  Matt Hardy comes out instead and gives McIntyre the Twist of Fate.

The Straight Edge Society are backstage.  They admire Punk’s hair.

Detroit!

They show the incident that started the issues between R-Truth and Ted Dibiase Jr., where Dibiase wanted R-Truth to be his Virgil and got slapped instead.

R-Truth vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Virgil).  They lock up and trade hammerlocks.  Dibiase hides in the ropes to get heat.  Dibiase slaps Truth.  Truth slaps Dibiase and kicks his ass.  Dibiase hides in the ropes again.  Truth hits his flippy kicks and clotheslines Dibiase out of the ring.  Virgil distracts Truth so Dibiase can get the advantage, and eventually succeeds.  Dibiase beats up Truth and throws him out of the ring.  Back inside, Truth fights back.  Dibiase hits a flapjack for 2.  Dibiase hits a clothesline for 2.  Dibiase slaps on a rear chin lock.  Dibiase comes off the top, but Truth catches him with a shot.  Truth goes for a superplex, but Dibiase pushes him off.  Truth crotches Dibiase on the top.  Truth gets rolling on offense.  Truth hits a Flatliner for 2.  Dibiase avoids the scissors kick and hits an electric chair drop for 2.  Truth tries some wonky leg hold, fails miserably, and Dibiase gets a rope break.  Truth hits a suplex stunner for 2.  Truth hits the Lie Detector for the pin in 7:46.  This match felt way longer than it was.  Second boring-ish match in a row.

Teddy Long talks on the phone.  Drew McIntyre barges in and demands that Long reverses the decision and fires Matt Hardy.  Long says no.  McIntyre throws a temper tantrum and tears stuff up.  Long begs him not to tear up a picture of Martin Luther King Jr.  McIntyre says King is a leader and Long is spineless.  Ya know, because throwing a fit after losing fair and square is so brave and noble.

CM Punk/Rey Mysterio video package.

Straight Edge Society Pledge vs. Hair Match: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  All outside parties are banned from ringside.  Punk pledges allegiance to himself.  Mysterio raises his hand and Punk goes on the attack.  Back and forth brawling to start.  Punk back body drops Mysterio out of the ring.  Mysterio ranas Punk into the barricade.  Mysterio holdshim against the barber chair at ringside to taunt him.  Punk avoids the 619 and throws Mysterio out of the ring, crashing into the barber chair.  Mysterio took a nasty bump and sails for a bit while the referee checks a cut on Punk’s head.  The doctor comes in to close the wound.  Dammit, it’s the motherfucking professional wrestling, let the man bleed.  Punk gets back into the ring.  The rana into the barricade looks to be what cut Punk open.  Crowd chants “BORING!”  Punk goes back on the attack and throws Mysterio into the barricade a couple of times, then suplexes him on the floor.  Punk hits the Eddie hilo for 2.  Punk applies a figure-four head scissors.  Mysterio fights back and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Punk kills him with a clothesline for 2.  Punk hits a series of fist drops while reciting the pledge.  Lawler and Striker bickering on commentary is annoying.  Mysterio hits the Code Red for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard cross body for 2.  Mysterio hits the springboard Bombs Away and a weird spinning one for 2.  Punk sends Mysterio into the turnbuckles.  Painful looking face bump.  Punk avoids the 619 and hits the Welcome To Chicago, Motherfucker for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but Mysterio counters.  Punk counters the counter and powerbombs Mysterio into the corner.  Punk hits a diving clothesline for 2.  Punk hits a head kick for 2.  Mysterio goes for a springboard moonsault.  Punk catches him and goes for the Go 2 Sleep again.  Mysterio counters and hits the 619.  Punk avoids the springboard splash.  He lays on Mysterio for the cocky cover, but Mysterio turns it into a crucifix hold for the pin in 13:49.  Good match for the most part.  The mystery SES member attacks Mysterio.  Luke Gallows and Serena come down to help.  Gallows has handcuffs.  Kane comes out and makes the save for Mysterio.  Chokeslam to Punk.  Kane brawls with Gallows.  Mysterio handcuffs Punk to the ropes and hits another 619.  Mysterio kicks the crap out of Punk some more and cuts his hair with the clippers.  Mysterio poses with clumps of Punk’s hair.  Crowd chants “SHAVE HIS CHEST!”  Mysterio leaves.  Serena covers up Punk’s fucked up haircut with a towel.  Mysterio comes back, yanks the towel off, and makes Punk look at himself in a mirror.  Punk is hilariously pissed.  Serena and the hooded guy help Mysterio out of the arena.

The announcers announce Fatal 4 Way, June 20th on PPV!

Backstage, Chris Jericho thanks The Big Show for dumping him, because now he and The Miz have realized Show was dead weight.  Miz stares at Show’s back.  Show threatens to knock them both out repeatedly.

Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands video game trailer.

Entrances for the Tag title match.  They show the ridiculous travesty of Bret Hart beating The Miz for the United States Championship on Raw.

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Hart Dynasty (c) (w/ Natalya) vs. Chris Jericho & The Miz.  Kidd and Miz start.  Kidd lands some kicks and tags in big David Hart Smith.  Smith hits the stalling suplex for 2.  Smith knocks Miz out of the ring, then backdrops Jericho out as well.  Smith press slams Kidd onto Miz and Jericho.  Kidd works over Miz some more.  Jericho tags in and beats up Kidd.  Kidd lands some kicks on Jericho, then tags in Smith.  Smith hits a leg drop for 2.  Jericho hits a missile dropkick, then baseball slide dropkicks Smith out of the ring.  Miz gets in a cheap shot.  Jericho hits a  backdrop suplex for 2.  Smith hits a sidewalk slam on Jericho.  Miz tags in and cuts off Smith from making the tag.  Smith gets worked over.  Kidd gets the lukewarm tag and runs wild.  Jericho locks Kidd in the Walls of Jericho.  Kidd gets a rope break.  Kidd springboards, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker.  He takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho argues with the referee.  Jericho trash talks Kidd and gets kicked in the head.  Smith tags in and runs wild.  Smith hits a powerslam on Jericho for 2.  Miz trips Smith and Jericho gets an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho and Miz argue with the referee.  Natalya trips Jericho.  Smith hits the running powerslam for 2.  Miz blind tags in and hits a neckbreaker on Smith for 2.  Miz goes for the Sharpshooter, but Smith gets a cradle for 2.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but gets sent into Jericho.  Smith gets a reverse cradle.  Miz reverses it for 2.  Miz hits the corner clothesline, but Smith holds him up and tags in Kidd.  Hart Attack.  Kidd pins Miz in 10:43.  Pretty good match with some really good false finishes.

WWE’s Best PPV Matches 2009-2010 is available now on DVD!

Detroit!

Edge/Randy Orton video package.

Edge vs. Randy Orton.  Striker tries to make it interesting by talking about the difference in finisher distance, but Lawler blows him off.  They do little.  Orton beats up Edge.  Orton hits the bottom rope decapitator.  They end up outside.  Edge sends Orton into the barricade, then front suplexes him onto it.  Back inside, Edge covers for 2.  Orton fights back.  Edge catches him with a knee to the middle, then locks on a body scissors.  He turns it into a scissored sleeper.  Orton fights out.  Edge front suplexes Orton into the ropes.  Edge goes up top.  Orton cuts him off and eventually hits a superplex.  They trade punches, complete with “BOO!”  “YAY!” chants from the crowd.  Orton hits a snap powerslam for 2.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and covers, but Edge gets his leg on the bottom rope.  Edge goes for the spear, but Orton kicks him.  Orton humps the mat and sells his arm.  He’s been selling it since the bump into the barricade.  Edge rolls out of the ring.  Orton goes outside and Edge gives him some week love taps.  He goes for the spear, but Orton moves and he spears the barricade.  Double count-out in 12:49.  Fucking lame.

The announcers talk about Orton’s injury.

Jack Swagger/Big Show video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jack Swagger (c) vs. The Big Show.  Swagger goes for a takedown and fails.  Repeat.  Show takes Swagger down and covers for 1.  Swagger bails.  He looks bamboozled.  Show does push ups.  Show beats up Swagger.  Show goes for the chokeslam and Swagger bails again.  Show pulls Swagger to the apron and Swagger pulls Show across the top rope.  Swagger spears Show’s knee, then hits a shoulder block.  Swagger hits 2 springboard Vader Bombs for 2.  Show throws Swagger out of the ring on the kick out.  Show beats up Swagger some more.  Show goes for the chokeslam again.  Swagger kicks Show’s knee.  Show pushes Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger gets the title belt and clocks Show with it to get DQ’d in 5:04.  Swagger clocks Show again for good measure, then beats him with a chair, but Show doesn’t want to stay down.  Show recovers and chokeslams Swagger, then chokeslams him again onto the chair.  Show KTFO’s Swagger with the big punch.  Fun match, and the finish works if the feud is going to continue.  Show leaves and Swagger is helped out by the referees.

Axe Hair something or other!

They show Batista’s repeated destruction of Mark Henry.

Josh Matthews interviews Batista.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Eve Torres (c) vs. Maryse.  They face off, then Maryse cheap shots Eve and goes on the attack.  Maryse applies a camel clutch.  They end up outside and Maryse lands an errant kick to the post.  Back inside, Eve lands some dropkicks.  Maryse slaps her.  Eve throws her down and hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Eve gets a sunset flip for 2.  Maryse drops Eve for 2.  Maryse screams at the referee.  Eve fights back and hits a Flatliner for 2.  Eve goes for a rolling senton, but Maryse gets her knees up.  Maryse goes for the DDT, but Eve counters and hits sort of a reverse Pedigree for the pin in 5:03.  It was fine, I guess.

John Cena/Batista video package.

“I Quit” Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Batista.  Batista says he made Cena say “I Quit” last week after Raw went off the air, so he’s going to give him a chance to take the easy way out.  Cena teases considering it, then hits Batista with the mic.  Outside quickly.  Cena swings a chair, but Batista ducks and that poor post gets it again.  Really intense brawl.  Batista beats on Cena for a while.  Cena makes his standard comeback.  Batista hangs onto the top rope to avoid the Attitude Adjustment, then uses the referee as a shield, then spears Cena.  Batista locks in the Rings of Saturn.  Cena powers his way out and locks in the STF.  Batista passes out, so Cena pours water on him.  Batista isn’t ready to quit.  And why would he?  He hits a big spinebuster and the Batista Bomb.  Cena isn’t quitting yet either.  Batista clears off the announce tables.  Batista sets up the Batista Bomb from one table to the other.  Cena counters and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Batista counters and hits a running powerslam from the English table through the Spanish table.  Now that’s old school!  Cena still won’t quit.  Batista takes Cena into the crowd.  They end up on a balcony or something.  Batista threatens to throw Cena over if he doesn’t quit.  Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, but Cena counters and knocks Batista off the balcony on top of some people.  They brawl around the stage area.  Batista hits Cena in the gut and back with a chair.  Cena still won’t quit.  Batista gets into one of the cars of the stage and backs it into where Cena was.  Cena reappears and beats up Batista.  Attitude Adjustment into the hood of the car.  Batista won’t quit.  Cena says “I was really hoping you would say that.”  Cena sets up the Attitude Adjustment from the top of the car.  Batista quits to give Cena the win in 20:31.  Cena delivers the move anyway and Batista crashes through the stage.  Awesome hate filled brawl.  Cena celebrates in the ring.  When he reaches the ramp, Sheamus appears and drops him with the pump kick.

This show was kind of mediocre overall, but there was some good stuff in there.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 5/21/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on Smackdown…”

Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, The Big Show takes on Drew McIntyre and Jack Swagger takes on Kofi Kingston in a “first time ever” match I’m almost certain has happened before.

The Straight Edge Society are in the ring with 3 dudes sitting on stools.  Luke Gallows and Serena talk about how great CM Punk is.  Punk does his usual “Pledge Straight Edge” bit.  The dudes take the pledge, which is kinda creepy.  The SES shave the dudes’ heads.  Rey Mysterio comes out to interrupt and shows a picture of what Punk will look like bald.  It looks like Justin Credible with a bushy beard.

During the commercials, the Straight Edge Society beat up their new pledges.

WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool vs. Kelly Kelly & Tiffany.  Layla and McCool are pretending to be “co-champions.”  Layla looks impressive for the second time in a row.  Layla takes a face bump into the apron.  Kelly knocks McCool to the floor too and hits her with a cross body off the top.  Tiffany catches Layla with a cross body off the apron.  Tiffany hits a diving sunset flip on Layla for 1.  Tiffany hits a monkey flip.  McCool tags in and counters a monkey flip into the Styles Clash for the pin in 2:02.  They tried.

The Big Show talks about his recent ownage of Jack Swagger.

JTG vs. Caylen Croft (w/ Trent Barreta).  Inset promo with The Dudebusters.  They “bust dudes up.”  JTG shines.  Croft beats him up.  JTG makes his comeback.  JTG hits the Mugshot.  Barreta tries to distract JTG, but JTG hits the Sling Blade on Croft for the pin in 2:35.  It was a match.

Christian and Vickie Guerrero talk about the return of the Peep Show tonight.  She wants to be the guest.  Christian says he actually wants people to watch the show.  Christian names a bunch of random people that the Peeps would rather have on his show.  Christian says his guest will be someone he’s never seen eye to eye with.

Vance Archer & Curt Hawkins vs. Brent Roberts & Jeremy Barner.  Hawkins beats up the green-trunks clad jobber.  Archer takes his turn having his way with green.  The jobber in black and white trunks gets beaten up next.  Archer hits the British Fall.  Hawkins follows with a diving elbow drop for the pin in 1:16.  Squash.  They cut a promo after the match.

Big Show talks more about owning Jack Swagger.

Jack Swagger is headed our way!

World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger comes out and talks about Big Show disrespecting him and his daddy.  Kofi Kingston comes out and they show him having the Intercontinental Championship he had just won taking away from him last week.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Kofi lands some kicks and sends Swagger out of the ring.  Swagger comes back and gets clotheslined out of the ring again.  Insta-commercials.  Kofi works Swagger’s arm.  He gets knocked out of the ring, but catches Kofi on his dive and rams him into the post.  Swagger beats up Kofi.  Kofi avoids the springboard Vader Bomb and goes for a diving cross body, but Swagger catches him with a middle kick for 2.  Swagger controls Kofi on the mat.  Kofi gets a sunset flip for 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex.  Swagger keeps the heat on.  Kofi hits a tornado DDT and makes his comeback.  Punches in the corner.  Kofi hits the SOS for 2.  Swagger ducks a kick and the Trouble In Paradise.  Kofi counters a  backdrop suplex and hits a side Russian leg sweep.  Swagger hits a clothesline to the back of the head and a big boot.  Big Show comes out to distract Swagger.  Kofi hits a springboard cross body for the pin (8:20 shown).  Good match.  Tonight’s WWE fact is “Kofi just beat you!”

Still to come, Show vs. McIntyre!  Also, MVP & Rey Mysterio take on the Straight Edge Society!  The Peep Show is NEXT!

Christian comes out to do the first Peep Show in years.  His guest is Hornswoggle.  Ugh.  Hornswoggle does DX stuff.  Yeah, that’s current.  Christian teaches Hornswoggle to speak Canadian.  Vickie and Chavo Guerrero interrupt.  Vickie is so fucking obnoxious.  She says she’s shutting down the show.  Christian makes fun of Vickie’s weight and gets Hornswoggle to call her a moose.  Vickie sends Chavo to clear the ring.  Hornswoggle hides in a box.  Dolph Ziggler jumps Christian from behind and hits the Zig Zag.  Chavo hits the frog splash on Christian.

MVP and Rey Mysterio are headed our way!

Rey Mysterio Jr. & Montel Vontavious Porter vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows (w/ Serena).  MVP and Gallows do stuff.  Mysterio tags in.  MVP press slams Mysterio into Gallows for 2.  Mysterio hits a leg drop for 2.  MVP tags in and hits the Yakuza kick for 2.  Serena distracts MVP to let Gallows get the advantage.  The heels get heat on MVP.  Mysterio gets the hot tag and runs wild.  He knocks Punk off the apron and hits his moves on Gallows.  Punk blind tags himself in and hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Mysterio fights out of the Go 2 Sleep and gets a cradle.  Gallows saves.  MVP takes on Gallows.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  The hooded SES member gets on the apron.  Mysterio kicks his ass.  Mysterio hits a Frankensteiner for the pin in 6:42.  Good little match.  Mysterio kicks Punk out of the ring after the match.  They show bald Punk on the screen again.

Josh Matthews interviews the Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre.  Kofi Kingston interrupts and says McIntyre doesn’t deserve the title and “BOOM!  BOOM!  BOOM!”

Show vs. McIntyre is NEXT!

Batista/John Cena hype video.

Striker and Grisham hype the Over The Limit card.

Big Show comes out for the main event.  They show him costing Swagger his match earlier tonight.  The main event is NEXT!

Non-Title: The Big Show vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre.  Show beats up McIntyre.  McIntyre bails, but Show brings him back to the ring.  McIntyre goes on the attack, but is overwhelmed.  McIntyre thumbs Show in the eye to get the advantage… then hits killed with a clothesline.  McIntyre pulls Show across the top rope and tries to set up the Future Shock, but fails.  Show kicks his ass some more.  Show hits the chokeslam.  Jack Swagger attacks Big Show for the DQ in 3:50.  Swagger hits Show with a couple of springboard Vader Bombs and stomps on his punch/chokeslam hand.  Swagger goes for a chair, but Show punches it.  Show grabs the chair and Swagger bails.  Show stands tall 2 days before the PPV.

Pretty decent show this week.

WWE Superstars 5/20/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are first announcers.  Justin Roberts is first ring announcer.

Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella come out for a match.  Santino is pretty over.  Before the match, Santino cuts a promo about why he and Kozlov should be tag team partners.  He tries to start a “USA” chant, then remembers he’s in Canada, so tries to start a “North America” chant.  Santino says they can fight, or walk out as partners.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Santino Marella.  Santino flinches, waiting for Kozlov’s blow.  He puts his hand on Kozlov.  Kozlov grabs him and gives him the headbutts, then the chokeslam spinebuster for the pin in 38 seconds.  Funny stuff.

Tonight, Christian takes on Dolph Ziggler!  Sweet!

Goldust vs. William Regal.  They lock up.  Regal avoids the butt butt, but Goldust beats him up anyway.  They tie up again and Regal goes to work at his favorite pass time, mauling a bitch.  Regal stretches Goldust’s arm.  The ringside doctor checks on Goldust.  Regal stands in the ring and exudes awesomeness.  Goldust gets back to his feet and gets beaten up some more.  Goldust makes his comeback.  Regal hits an Exploder.  Goldust avoids the knee trembler and hits the brainbuster for the pin in 4: 28.  Even with the brief stoppage, this was an awesome little TV match.

NXT recap.

Rey Mysterio Jr. reminds us to not try this shit at home.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are up as announcers.  Tony Chimel is up as ring announcer.

Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters.  They lock up.  Rhodes grabs an arm lock, but Master throws him down and wiggles his pecs.  Masters continues to dominate.  Masters works the arm.  Masters hits a back body drop.  Rhodes bails.  Masters pursues and gets suckered in to getting his arm injured against the post.  Insta-commercials.  Rhodes continues working the arm.  Masters gets a schoolboy for 2.  Rhodes goes back to working the arm.  Rhodes does his brother Goldust’s sliding punch deal.  Masters makes his comeback.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin (5:09 shown).  Good match.

John Cena/Batista video package.

Striker and Grisham hype the Over The Limit card.

The main event is NEXT!

David Otunga video.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian.  Ziggler does some nice amateur wrestling to start.  He’s the aggressor early on.  They end up outside and Ziggler takes a face bump into the apron.  Christian lands a baseball slide dropkick and throws Ziggler back into the ring.  Ziggler catches Christian with a knee to the middle for 2.  Ziggler beats on Christian.  Christian takes a big bump to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Christian beats up Ziggler.  Ziggler beats up Christian some more.  Christian hits his corner kick and makes a comeback.  Missile dropkick gets 2.  Ziggler suplexes Christian to the apron.  Christian pulls Ziggler back over the top rope.  Christian hits a diving cross body, but Ziggler rolls through for 2.  Christian counters the sleeper and hits the reverse DDT for 2.  Christian goes for the diving sunset flip, but Ziggler squashes it for 2.  Christian holds onto the rope to avoid the Zig Zag and hits the diving European uppercut, followed by the Killswitch for the pin (6:03 shown).  Really good match.

Really good show this week!

WWE NXT 5/18/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, highlights of last week’s show, NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are our announcers LIVE from Ottawa, Ontario.

Matt Striker introduces the Pros: Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy, Christian, CM Punk, William Regal, and The Miz.  They’re missing a couple.  Striker asks them what they’re looking for in a WWE Superstar.  Miz wants somebody with the “it” factor.  Regal says adaptability.  Punk is just sickened by being around Canadians.  Christian also wants “it.”  He and Regal bicker.  Hardy wants someone who can survive locker room politics.  Jericho wants somebody who will draw money.

Darren Young comes out for the first match.  Punk teases going to the ring with him, the decides not to.  Savannah is the ring announcer.

Darren Young vs. Wade Barrett (w/ Chris Jericho).  What happened to Barrett getting his own music like a month ago?  These two have been at each others’ throats lately.  Barrett shoves Young.  Young takes Barrett down.  Barrett trips Young on the apron and beats him up on the outside.  Barrett whiffs a big boot for 2.  Jericho yells at the announcers.  Barrett stretches Young with a knee to the back and pulls his arms back.  I never know how to describe that move.  Young avoids an elbow drop and makes his comeback.  This match is really sloppy.  Barrett hits a jawbreaker.  Young hits another big right hand and goes for his finish.  Barrett counters and goes for his.  Young counters and goes for a tornado DDT.  Barrett counters.  Young pulls him across the top rope and goes up top.  Barrett crotches him and hits his shitty fireman’s carry front slam for the pin in 3:14.  As I said before, very sloppy match.

David Otunga video.

Tonight, ELIMINATION!  Commercials!

Matt Striker is in the ring with Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan, who were eliminated last week.  They show them being eliminated last week.  Striker asks Tarver for his thoughts.  He doesn’t think it’s fair when he got eliminated by management instead of the pros because they’re threatened by him.  Tarver says some more stuff and leaves.  Striker asks Bryan for his thoughts.  Bryan cuts a really good promo about WWE political bullshit.  He talks about how good he is and gets into an argument with The Miz, tells Striker off for interrupting him, cuts a promo on Michael Cole and attacks him.  YAY!  Commercials.  Boo.

Moments ago, Daniel Bryan fucked Michael Cole’s shit up, and it ruled.

Cole bitches about Danielson.

Justin Gabriel (w/ Matt Hardy) vs. Heath Slater (w/ Christian).  They lock up as Cole says he’s going to press charges against Daniel Bryan.  Cole gets up and leaves.  Gabriel hits a dive to the outside that the camera guy missed because Michael Cole being a bitch is more interesting.  Slater puts Gabriel in a grounded abdominal stretch.  Gabriel knees his way free.  Gabriel hits some spin kicks.  Slater hits a flapjack for 2.  Crowd is DEAD.  Slater hits a spinebuster for 2.  Gabriel hits another big spin kick.  Gabriel kicks Slater down from the apron, then hits the 450 splash for the pin in 2:46.  Good little TV match while it lasted.  Everybody shakes hands after the match.

Skip Sheffield talks about being eliminated last week.  He says the pros were intimidated by him.

Tonight, Pros Poll!

Batista/John Cena hype video.

Cole is back.  Fuck.  They hype the Over The Limit card.

Darren Young video.  Earlier tonight, he jobbed to Wade Barrett’s shitty finish.

Striker is back with the Pros.  The Pros Poll is NXT!

Striker has gathered the rookies at ringside.  Pros Poll: #1 Wade Barrett, #2 David Otunga, #3 Heath Slater, #4 Justin Gabriel, #5 Darren Young.  Why the fuck is Gabriel ranked behind Otunga and Slater?  That’s retarded.  Striker gives Young the mic so he can address the Pros.  Young tells the rookies he respects them, so he isn’t going to whine.  He just thanks everyone.  The jackass Canadians sing the “Goodbye” song.  Young says we haven’t seen the last of him.  We’re down to the final four.

They replay Danielson beating on Cole.  Yay!

Okay show this week.  The Danielson stuff was awesome.