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TNA iMPACT! 3/24/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 26, 2011 by Chui

The usual video of recent happenings… which this week is auto tuned for some damn reason.

“Do The Math”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Ken Anderson and some old guy in a suit come out to the ring.  Anderson introduces the guy as Professor Shubert, a mathematician from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay.  They have a dry erase board in the ring, which they use to do math explaining that Anderson wants his title rematch.  I have no fucking idea what’s going on.  Anderson says that the professor once told a girl with a big ass that Anderson was gay so he could bang her instead.  I’m completely fucking serious.  Anderson gives the guy the Mic Check.  Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come out.  Bischoff says Hogan sees something in Anderson, but he doesn’t.  Hogan talks about how he likes Anderson, then talks about how he’s being a dick, so he’s not getting a title shot until he earns it, because the rematch he’s already supposed to get was signed by Dixie Carter.  Man, this is convoluted.  Hogan books Anderson vs. RVD again tonight.  Anderson says RVD isn’t in his league.  Rob Van Dam comes out to retort.  Insta-commercials.

Anderson, Hogan, Bischoff, and RVD are in the ring.  RVD says “This is pro wrestling.  Someone talks smack about you, your music plays and you have to respond.”  Awesome.  They bicker.  RVD says he doesn’t know why he even signed with TNA.  Yes, he said that.  He bitches at Hogan for a while.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting comes out and says the Network told him he’s the special enforcer in the #1 Contender match.  Wonderful.

Tonight, Ric Flair challenges Fortune.

They show Bully Ray powerbombing AJ Styles off the stage last week.  Mickie vs. Tara next.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Backstage, TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne orders Tara destroy Mickie “or else.”  “Or else what?”  Tara replies.  Madison has no answer.

Mickie James vs. Tara.  Mickie beals Tara into the ring and kicks her ass.  Mickie hits a flapjack and nips up, which is oddly hot.  Tara lands a  snug looking knee to the face, then a standing moonsault, which was also oddly hot, for 2.  Mickie catches Tara with an elbow smash and goes for a rana, but Tara powerbombs her for 2.  Tara goes up top.  Mickie hits the ropes and crotches her, which is not hot.  Mickie goes for a Frankensteiner, I think, but ends up sitting in her lap.  Not sure if that was a botch or not.  Tara hits an avalance-style crab hold, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.  Mickie gets a rope break.  Tara goes for the Widow’s Peak, but Mickie counters into a nasty looking DDT for the pin in 3:17.  Best TNA women’s match in a LONG time, and Velvet Sky was nowhere to be seen.  I smell a correlation.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne comes out onstage to glare unhappily, then gives a nasty smile.

Sting and Ken Anderson encounter each other backstage.  Anderson is mad that Sting “stole” his title shot when he won the title.  Sting said the Network gave it to him.  Anderson asks for a name.  Sting says it’s simply “The Network.”

Tonight, Ric Flair challenges Fortune!  Anderson vs. RVD again.  Meh to that.

Replay of the worst segment of all time from last week, with The Pope abusing and preparing to rape Okato.  They’re so proud of this abortion, they’re showing it again.

Samoa Joe and Okato chat backstage.

Okato vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Okato lands a dropkick and goes on the attack.  Pope avoids an awkward looking missile dropkick and beats up Okato.  Pope takes off his boot and hits Okato with it, then pulls off his glove to reveal several rings.  Pope punches Okato with the rings and gets DQ’d in 2:21.  Pope coninutes to kick Okato’s ass, then decks the referee.  Samoa Joe runs off Pope.

Tonight, Flair’s challenge and RVD vs. Anderson

Sting video package.

Kurt Angle talks about his kids and the match with Jarrett at Lockdown.

Flair’s challenge is NEXT!

Rob Van Dam and Hulk Hogan chat in the office.  Hogan says RVD is his guy, which is the opposite of what he told Anderson earlier.  RVD buys it, which proves he wasn’t watching the promo, but then how did he known Anderson was talking shit about him?  Did his music play and he just ASSUMED?  WTF is wrong with this company?  Hogan leaves and RVD calls him an idiot.  He’s right in this case.

Ric Flair, Matt Hardy, and Bully Ray come out.  They cut promos.  Hardy looks ridiculous with his stupid dreadlocks and sunglasses perched on top of his head.  Bully Ray challenges Fortune to a match at Lockdown, “the four of us against the three of you.”  Does Bully have a mouse in his pocket?  Fortune: TNA X Division Champion Kazarian and TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money hit the ring and kick their asses.  The lights go funny.  Abyss appears to make the save for the heels.  ONE WEEK AFTER ABYSS WAS STRIPPED OF THE TV TITLE FOR BEING TOO INJURED TO WRESTLE. HE’S BACK AND HE’S PERFECTLY FUCKING FINE.  With the odds now safely in their favor, Immortal beat up Fortune 4 on 3.

House shows.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Abyss cuts a mine babyface promo backstage, which would be great if he wasn’t supposed to be a monster heel.

Tonight, and RVD/Anderson match I don’t fucking care about.

Mexican America come out: Hernandez, some other guy, and TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Sarita & Rosita.  They all throw out some really awkward sounding Spanish.  The new guy’s name is El Anarquia, which I don’t think makes any sense.  They roll out a Mexican flag.  The challenge Matt Morgan to a Street Fight.  Morgan and Brother Devon come out to accept the challenge.

Street Fight: Hernandez & Anarquia (w/ TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Sarita & Rosita) vs. Matt Morgan & Brother Devon.  Morgan and Hernandez brawl outside.  Devon beats up Anarquia.  Devon hits a sidewalk slam for 2, then clotheslines Anarquia out of the ring.  Morgan and Hernandez come back in to brawl.  Morgan hits a fall away slam and the revolving elbows in the corner.  Morgan clotheslines Hernandez to the floor.  Sarita and Rosita talk shit to Morgan and Devon.  Sarita tances, which is pretty hot.  Velvet Sky comes out and attacks them.  Joy.  Velvet, who was stupid enough to attack 2 women, gets beaten down.  Angelina Love walks out looking like she just got a fresh botox injection.  Winter comes out and screams at her.  Angelina walks back to her.  So Winter is controlling Angelina’s mind now?  Meanwhile, Devon hits Anarquia with a shoulder block.  Morgan finally saves Velvet.  Anarquia hits Devon with an object and gets the pin in 3:40.  What a fucking mess.

Tonight, Anderson/RVD.  Ugh.

Ink Inc. vs. Scott Steiner & Crimson.  Steiner beats up Neal.  Steiner can still throw an awesome belly to belly suplex.  He does so, then hits a Steiner Line and an elbow drop, then does push ups.  Crimson tags in.  Double shoulder block.  Crimson hits a a Falcon Arrow for 2.  Crimson boots Neal out of the ring.  Moore tags in and gets his ass kicked.  Moore avoids Crimson in the corner.  Crimson catches Moore and slams him down.  Moore hits a moonsault body block, then yells at Neal for still being on the outside.  Neal dives, but Crimson catches him and hits the Red Alert for the pin in 3:03.  Total squash.  Neal shows respect to Steiner and Crimson after the match.  Moore wipes his ass with Steiner’s beer tag head dress, throws it at him, and runs away.  Steiner is pissed, and that’s damned scary.  Lots of beeped out swearing.

RVD/Anderson video package.  I’m not excited to see them have anything abysmal match.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Ken Anderson.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting is the special enforcer.  They trade headlocks and hammerlocks.  The mutants obnoxiously chant about being assholes.  They should chat “WE ARE RETARDS!”  RVD hits a flying kick and a standing moonsault for 2.  Anderson counters the Rolling Thunder and the monkey flip, then hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson hits an over the knee neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson grabs a chin lock.  Anderson accidentally clotheslines the ref and the ref does a 360 bump for it.  RVD superkicks Anderson.  Sting comes in to count 2.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  RVD kicks Anderson in the face and makes his comeback.  RVD hits the split legged moonsault for 2.  Anderson bails to avoid the Rolling Thunder.  RVD hits him with a slingshot dive.  They brawl outside.  Anderson throws a chair into the ring.  Sting throws it out.  Anderson kicks RVD in the balls and gives him the Mic Check into the post.  Anderson gets in the ring and orders Sting to count.  They argue, then start fighting.  The bell rings despite nobody calling for it in 6:36.  I assume RVD wins by DQ.  Anderson and Sting brawl on the outside.  Al Snow, Pat Kenney, and other geeks break them up.  Insta-commercials.

They show replays of what just happened.

Rob Van Dam talks backstage.  He seems to concussed and doesn’t remember that he just had a match.  He has no idea what’s going on.  The camera man tries to explain it to him.  He still thinks he’s getting ready for a match.

Ken Anderson throws a temper tantrum backstage.

Sting says he didn’t ring the bell.  Obviously.  Nobody knows what the hell happened.  Anderson comes up to yell at him.  They start brawling again.  Al Snow, Pat Kenney, and D’Lo Brown break them up.  Anderson says the Wizard of Oz rang the bell.  Seriously.  The show ends.  Thank God.

Horrible show.  Better than last week’s show, but that’s like saying HIV is better than AIDS.

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TNA iMPACT! 3/17/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 16, 2011 by Chui

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting comes out with both the puke ugly Jeff Hardy belt and a brand spanking new belt.  He calls out Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff.  Hogan and Bischoff come out.  Sting gives Hogan the puke belt, which Hogan immediately discards.  Sting bitches at Hogan for brainwashing Jeff Hardy.  Hogan says Hardy embarrassed Immortal at Victory Road, then talks for three hours about whatever else.  Something about main eventers supposedly wanting to come into TNA.  Sting asks where they are.  Bully Ray comes out, because you know he’s a world renowned main eventer.  He puts over Hogan and bashes Sting.  He wants to take out Sting.  Hogan starts to reply to him, but Fortune interrupt.  Commercials.

Sting, Hogan, Bischoff, Bully, and Fortune are all in the ring.  Styles says Fortune has Sting’s back, then talks about Bully being a joke as a singles wrestler.  Bully retorts about Styles being Dixie Carter’s child or something and about Styles being a midget.  He wants to talk about his title shot with Hogan.  Styles slaps Bully.  Ken Anderson comes out to join the party.  He still wants his title rematch so badly it’s made him retarded.  Hogan says Anderson doesn’t get a title shot because he didn’t beat RVD.  Anderson replies that RVD didn’t beat him either and calls Hogan a carrot.  Bischoff babbles about the network and books RVD vs. Anderson vs. Bully vs. Styles in a #1 Contender match tonight.  Anderson doesn’t like it, but too bad.  This segment was… um… yeah.

Kurt Angle has a big present for the newlyweds.  Commercials.

AJ Styles chats with Rob Van Dam backstage, trying to form an alliance.  RVD isn’t buying it.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Madison Rayne (c) (w/ Tara) vs. Alissa Flash.  Rayne attacks Flash during her entrance to get the early advantage.  In the ring, she immediately hits her finish for the pin in 17 seconds.  And silly me was actually looking forward to Alissa dragging a match out of Rayne.  Madison and Tara go for the beat down, but Mickie James runs her off.  She wants another piece of Rayne.  Rayne points out, correctly, that she’s beaten Mickie time and time again and has no incentive.  She wants Mickie to put her hair up against the title at Lockdown.  Mickie agrees.  At least it’s not her career again.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is backstage with a fake blind guy, a fake fat guy, and a fake wheelchair guy.  He’s going to pretend to be Jesus later.  And they’re showing us ahead of time that he’s full of shit.

Tonight, the four-way match.  Commercials.

Ken Anderson pitches a fit to Hulk Hogan in the office.  They bitch at each other.  Anderson throws out the camera man.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring with his fake disabled and/or obese people.  He pretends to be Jesus and heal them the blind guy and the wheelchair guy, then insults the fake fat lady.  I hate wrestling.  Samoa Joe and Okato come out.  Pope throws the fake blind guy at Joe, then bails.  Pope captures Okato and holds a knife to his throat.  Are you fucking serious?  He kicks Okato and balls and throws him down, then reveals that it’s a fake knife.  Fuck Vince Russo.  Fuck Hulk Hogan.  Fuck Eric Bischoff.  Fuck Jeff Jarrett.  Fuck Dixie Carter.  Fuck everyone else who is responsible for this fucking piece of shit of a fucking wrestling show.

Tonight, a fucking four-way.  Commercials.

Moments ago, THE WORST FUCKING SEGMENT OF ALL TIME HAPPENED, AND THEY’RE SO PROUD OF THEY’RE SHOWING IT AGAIN.

Backstage, I think the Pope is torturing and preparing to rape Okato.  Samoa Joe runs Pope off and saves Okato.  I fucking hate this company.

Rob Van Dam accuses Ken Anderson of joining Immortal.  Anderson accuses RVD of the same thing.  Apparently one of them is turning heel tonight.  Who the fuck cares?

Four-way tonight.  Commercials.

Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, and Winter are bitches to each other backstage.  Angelina was supposed to team with Velvet, but she’s teaming with Winter instead, and no fucking body cares.  Velvet’s tits are still magnificent.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett come out.  Jarrett cuts a promo about how much better than Kurt Angle he is.  He says he’s offering a truce tonight.  He wants Angle to beg for forgiveness.  Angle comes out with his big present.  Angle facetiously puts over Jarrett and offers his gift.  Jarrett opens it to find an American flag guitar.  Angle takes it and breaks it over Jarrett’s head.  Awesome.  Karen hits Angle in the balls, but he pulls out the cup he was wearing and laughs at her.  Angle says he’s sick of this shit.  He wants Jarrett at Lockdown.  Either that or he’ll keep attacking Jarrett at home or something.  Jarrett agrees, with blood in his eye, despite Karen’s protests.  AWESOME segment.  I’m a little less pissed off now.

Eric Bischoff lectures Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy backstage.  He tells them that Abyss has been stripped of the TV title, so tonight the three of them will meet for the title.

Tonight, Matt Morgan, Angelina Love, & Winter vs. Hernandez, Rosita, & Sarita in a Street Fight!  Anderson vs. RVD vs. Styles vs. Bully!  Commercials.

House shows!

Karen Jarrett is on the phone with 911.  Jeff is bleeding.

Terry/Gunner/Murphy hype video.  Are you fucking serious?

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Television Championship: Gunner vs. Murphy vs. Rob Terry.  Gunner and Murphy beat up Terry.  Brooke Hogan and her stepmother are in the front row.  Cops arrive backstage.  Terry hits a Polish Hammer on Gunner for 2.  They lumber around and punch each other.  Terry drops Murphy with a spin kick.  Gunner spears Terry.  Gunner hits an F-5 on Murphy for the pin in 1:46 to win the title.  This was terrible.

AJ Styles talks backstage.  Ric Flair interrupts to talk shit.  Styles decks him.

The four-way TONIGHT!  The Street Fight NEXT!  Commercials.

Karen Jarrett bitches to police.  Jeff yells at her to chill the fuck out and argues with the cops.  Ugh.

Hernandez, Sarita, & Rosita come out.  Hernandez cuts his usual promo.  They’re now called Mexican America.

Street Fight: Mexican America (Hernandez & TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Rosita & Sarita) vs. Matt Morgan, Angelina Love, & Winter.  Everybody brawls.  The women go outside.  Morgan beats up Hernandez in the ring.  Rosita and Sarita jump on Morgan’s back.  He throws them off.  Winter and Angelina attack them.  Winter hits her spinning slam on Rosita for the pin in 1:21.  I’m not going to bitch much about this being over with quickly.  Some guy attacks Morgan.  Morgan hulks up.  Hernandez and the guy run away.  Apparently this guy is the same “fan” who jumped in the ring at Victory Road.

The four-way is next.  Commercials.

RVD/Anderson Victory Road highlight video.

Four-Way Match to determine the #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: AJ Styles vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray vs. Ken Anderson.  Styles/Bully and RVD/Anderson pair off and brawl.  Styles hits a Frankensteiner on Ray, which is pretty sweet.  He goes for a monkey flip, but Bully pushes him down.  Ray and Anderson brawl.  Bully clotheslines Anderson out of the ring.  RVD and Bully go at it.  RVD hits a spin kick and the Rolling Thunder.  Anderson pulls RVD out of the ring and clotheslines him.  Styles hits a sunset flip on Anderson for 2.  Styles goes the leap frog, drop down, dropkick.  Ray clotheslines Styles for 2.  Ray hits a sidewalk slam on Styles for 2.  Bully beats up on everyone.  RVD beats up everyone.  He goes for the Five Star Frog Splash on Anderson, but it’s avoided.  Bully hits a Rock Bottom on Anderson for 2.  Styles hits a springboard cross body on Bully for 2.  RVD hits Styles with the flying kick for 1.  Anderson hits RVD with a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Bully avoids a dive from Ray and tries to hit him with a chair, but Hebner takes it away.  Anderson dives RVD a backdrop suplex on the chair and they pin each other in 5:53.  Bully attacks the referee, then attacks Jeremy Borash.  Styles rakes up and brawls with Bully.  Styles gets a chair and Bully begs off on the stage.  Ric Flair appears and hits Styles in the balls.  Ray gives Styles a sit-out powerbomb off the stage through a table.  Pat Kenney, Al Snow, and the geeks appear to check on them.  Commercials.

Bully Ray wakes up and shoves Al Snow and an EMT.  They show replays.  D’Lo Brown, Snow, and Pat Kenney try to get Ray out of there.  Tommy Dreamer and Fortune are out to check on Styles.  Styles gets stretchered out, but this is TNA so I’m sure he’ll be fine next week.  Kazarian goes to call Styles’ wife.  They all head off to the hospital.  They really tried to present this is a big, serious deal, but it’s TNA and it’s impossible to take anything they do seriously.

I liked the Jarrett/Angle stuff before the fucked it up with the cops, and they tried with the Bully/Styles angle, but 95% of this show was TNA 101 and a textbook example of why everyone with a brain hates their show and why they’ll never be successful.

TNA iMPACT! 3/10/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2011 by Chui

Recap of last week’s happenings.

“The Return of the Icon”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

The NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting comes to the ring.  He thanks the fans for their support.  He puts over Jeff Hardy.  Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come out and applaud Sting.  Hogan talks for a while.  Sting responds at length.  Ken Anderson comes out.  He talks for a while.  The short of it is, wants a title shot.  Jeff Hardy comes out.  He also wants a title shot.  Rob Van Dam, who I can only assume also wants a title shot, comes out.  What do ya know?  I was right!  Hogan says he’s the one who calls the shots.  Bischoff books Sting vs. Hardy and RVD vs. Anderson for Victory Road and Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD tonight.

The Beautiful People are in the locker room.  Cookie, Angelina from Jersey Shore, and Sarita come in.  They’re all bitch.  Winter bitches at Angelina for talking shit to the other Angelina.  The heel bitches leave, then Velvet bitches at the other face bitches.  I hate women’s wrestling.

Pope/Joe next.

Samoa Joe (w/ Okato) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Pope comes out of the crowd and hits Okato with a chain.  Joe chases Pope into the ring, where Pope gets the jump on him.  Joe rallies and beats up Pope.  Pope beats up Joe.  Joe kicks Pope in the face and hits a senton splash.  Joe hits a powerslam for 2.  Pope begs off.  Joe slaps him.  Pope counters the choke and hits a STO for 2.  Pope removes a turnbuckle pad.  The referee sees it and does nothing about it.  Joe hits an Exploder.  Pope grabs his chain .  The referee finally decides to fix the turnbuckle.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Pope KOs him with the chain for the pin in 3:22.  Stupid.

Bully Ray arrives and bullies the camera man, because he’s a bully.  He talks shit about Tommy Dreamer.  He challenges Dreamer to a parking lot fight.

Tonight, horrible women’s match.  Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD.

TNA Knockouts Championship Madison Rayne and Tara come out for a title match.  They show Rayne beating ODB 2 weeks ago.  Rayne is obnoxious.  She issues another open challenge.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Madison Rayne (c) (w/ Tara) vs. Roxxi.  Crowd is completely dead for Roxxi.  Rayne goes on the attack.  Roxxi makes her comeback.  Nobody mentions how Rayne beat her and forced her out of the company last year.  Roxxi hits a spinebuster for 2.  Roxxi gets a schoolgirl for 2.  Rayne hits her finish for the pin in 1:33.  Well this was pointless.  Rayne continues beating Roxxi after the match.  Mickie James makes the save.

Tommy Dreamer goes to the parking lot and waits for Bully Ray.

Bully Ray is in another part of the parking lot pretending to look for Dreamer.  Brother Devon attacks him instead and beats the hell out of him.  Ray begs off.  Devon whips him with a chain.  Fucking ouch.  Devon goes after Ray with a sledgehammer.  Tommy Dreamer stops him for  using it and leads him away.  Ray cheap shots a security guard who comes to help him, then whips him with the chain, then throws a guardrail on him.  Bully Ray is an awesome heel.

Sarita (w/ Rosita), Cookie, & Angelina vs. TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Angelina Love & Winter & Velvet Sky.  Angelina wants to start with Velvet.  Typical cat fight bullshit.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Robbie E. runs in and holds Velvet.  There’s some kind of weird clusterfuck.  Winter cleans house on the Jersey traps and bites Robbie’s hand.  Velvet schoolgirls Angelina for the pin in a mercifully short 1:53.  Now let’s never speak of this again.  Sky spanks herself.

Next, Matt Hardy vs. Ric Flair vs. AJ Styles in a three-way Street Fight.

Last week, Kurt Angle put football player Bart Scott in the ankle lock.  Video of Angle discussing the incident.  Ken Anderson also comments on it for some reason.

Ken Anderson is in the office with Hogan, Bischoff, and Hardy.  He’s incredulous about having to team with Hardy tonight.

Flair/Styles video package.

Ric Flair, Matt Hardy, and AJ Styles come out for their street fight, but Flair wants to talk.  Flair and Styles banter for a while.  Hardy talks shit to Styles for a while.  Styles slugs Hardy to start the match.  Insta-commercials.

Three-Way Street Fight: Ric Flair vs. Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles.  The bell never rang as far as I could tell.  Styles beats up Hardy while Flair watches from outside.  Hardy gets the advantage and Flair comes in.  Styles drops him with an enzuigiri, then puts him in the figure-four.  Hardy hits the diving leg drop on Styles for 2.  Flair bails.  Hardy throws Styles out.  Flair pokes  him in the eyes.  Styles rams Flair’s head into the post.  Flair bleeds, of course.  Hardy hits styles from behind with a trash can.  Hardy brings in a ladder and hits Hardy with it.  Styles counters Hardy and throws him into the ladder.  Flair attacks Styles.  Styles pounds Flair’s bloody head.  Hardy comes back in and hits the Side Effect for 2.  Hardy misses an elbow drop.  Styles kicks Flair to avoid a chair shot, then rips Flair’s shirt open and chops him.  Styles drops Hardy with the Pele kick, then goes for the Styles Clash on a chair.  Flair hits Styles in the balls.  Hardy gives Styles the Twist of Hate on the chair.  Flair pins Styles in 5:52.  This was a mess.

Sting tries to make amends with RVD.  RVD isn’t buying it.  They’re in a tag match tonight!

House shows!

Generation Me vs. Ink Inc.  TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money come out to do commentary.  Jeremy and Moore do a fast paced exchange.  Jeremy hits the slingshot X Factor.  Max tags himself in and tries to steal the pin, but only gets 2.  Jeremy tags back in and hits a slingshot dropkick for 2.  Max tags himself back in and covers Moore for 2.  What’s up with this shit?  Max clamps on a rear chin lock.  Moore gets a quick cradle for 2.  Moore fights back and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Neal gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Neal hits a cross body on Max for 2.  He face plants Jeremy.  Max superkicks Neal.  Jeremy tags in.  Max tries to launch Jeremy to the top rope, but Neal spears him in midair.  Moore throws out Max.  Ink Inc. hit th eir finish on Jeremy and Neal gets the pin in 4:15.  It was okay.  Moore says Ink Inc. will win the titles at Victory Road.  Storm says Beer Money will kick their asses.

Mr. Anderson is getting ready backstage.  Jeff Hardy comes in and stares at him, then asks if Anderson is going to turn on him tonight.  Anderson replies that he’s an asshole.  That wasn’t the whole thing, but it’s all I heard.

Tonight, Anderson & Hardy vs. Sting & RVD.

Victory Road hype video.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks backstage.

Video of the shit that went down with Kurt Angle and Jeff & Karen Jarrett last week.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett talk backstage.  They’re going to Orlando for their honeymoon.  So they’re going where they go every week anyway.

Ultimate X hype video.

Tenay and Taz hype Victory Road.

Sting hype video.

Jeremy Borash interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting.  Ken Anderson jumps Sting from behind and kicks his ass.  He REALLY wants his title shot.

So Cal Val has taken over as ring announcer, and she’s just awful.

Jeff Hardy & Ken Anderson vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting & Rob Van Dam.  Sting doesn’t come out for the match.  Anderson jumps RVD to start the match.  RVD fights back and hits a springboard kick for 2.  Anderson avoids the monkey flip and slaps Hardy in the back of the head, which constitutes a tag.  RVD beats up Hardy.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  Hardy goes to tag out, but Anderson drops off the apron.  RVD gets the leg roll cradle on Hardy for 2.  Hardy throws RVD down and slaps Anderson to tag him in.  Anderson gets knocked off the apron.  Hardy hits RVD with the Twist of Hate for 2, as Anderson stops the referee from making the count.  Hardy wasn’t legal anyway.  Anderson gives Hardy the Mic Check.  The lights go out.  Sting appears in the ring and beats up Anderson.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop.  RVD hits Anderson with the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 4:27.  Well this was dumb.

Garbage.  That was this show.  That is this company.

TNA iMPACT! 2/17/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2011 by Chui

Recap of recent goings on.  Tonight, Rob Van Dam finally gets Jeff Hardy for the World Title!

“The Boy Is Back In Town”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Eric Bischoff, Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy of Immortal come out.  Bischoff introduces the NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy.  Bischoff starts to blather on.  They show a PIP of Ric Flair arriving backstage.  He talks about RVD/Hardy tonight, then bitches about Flair being AWOL recently.  Flair comes out, helped into the ring by So Cal Val, and bitches at Bischoff for telling him what to do because he’s Ric Flair, dammit!  Flair leaves.

Video of Jeff and Karen Jarrett getting massages and being pretentious assholes.  It lasts way too long.  And we’ll probably get 30 of these tonight.  Commercials.

AJ Styles and Matt Hardy brawl backstage.  Gunner and Murphy jump Styles.  The rest of Fortune make the save.  Rob Terry joins in.  Scott Steiner is there too.  Al Snow, Pat Kenney, D’Lo Brown, and geeks try to break it up.

Tenay and Taz talk about Against All Odds.

Hernandez, Sarita, and Rosita make friends backstage.  I understood most of Sarita’s Spanish!

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Doug Williams comes out.  Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and destroys him.

Doug Williams vs. Hernandez (w/ Sarita & Rosita).  Hernandez continues destroying Williams.  Velvet Sky runs out to attack Sarita for talking shit.  Rosita beats up Velvet.  Angelina Love makes the save.  Meanwhile, Hernandez chokes Williams with his shirt.  Hernandez hits the Border Toss which drops Williams RIGHT ON HIS FUCKING HEAD for the pin in 1:59.  What a mess.

Eric Bischoff is on the phone trying to get the network to cancel the Hardy/RVD match tonight.  He fails.  Commercials.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is in the ring with a roast pig with an apple in its mouth.  He talks for a while.  He calls the pig “Sloppy Joe” and claims to be Jesus.  Samoa Joe comes out to put a stop to this stupidity.  Okato appears on the apron and delivers a kick to Pope.  Joe kicks Pope’s ass and hits the Muscle  Buster through the buffet table.  Thank you, Joe!  Joe puts the apple in Pope’s mouth.  Hah!

Tonight, Jeff Hardy defends the World Championship against RVD!  Commercials!

Robbie E. and Cookie are obnoxious.  Kazarian kisses his wife Traci Brooks backstage before heading to the ring.  Kazarian cuts a promo about bringing back the X Division.  He challenges Robbie to send Cookie to the back and have a straight match with him.  Robbie agrees.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E.  Robbie goes on the attack early.  Kazarian fires back and kicks Robbie in the head.  There’s a random horn honking sound.  Kazarian hits a springboard elbow smash for 2.  Kazarian lands a spin kick and goes for the Fade To Black.  Cookie comes back in and hits Kazarian with a giant purse to cause the DQ in 1:47.  Robbie and Cookie attack Kazarian.  Traci Brooks runs in and kicks Cookie’s ass.  Glad that crap is over.

Ric Flair visits with Fortune.  He’s playing both sides of the Immortal/Fortune game, apparently.  He ices all of them.

Styles vs. Hardy NEXT!  Commercials!

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles.  They brawl.  Styles throws Hardy out of the ring and hits an awesome suicide dive.  Hardy gets the advantage in a ringside brawl.  Back inside, Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  Ric Flair comes out.  Hardy grabs a cravat.  Hardy rakes Styles’ eyes.  Styles gets pissed off and kicks Hardy’s ass.  Hardy counters the Styles Clash.  Styles does the drop down, leap frog, dropkick.  Styles goes for the springboard forearm, but Flair turns and trips him.  Hardy hits the Twist of Hate for the pin in 3:23.  Flair and Hardy beat up Styles.  Fortune run off Flair and Hardy.  The match wasn’t much of anything.

Ken Anderson is here and he’s pissed off.  Commercials.

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious in a hot tub.

Ken Anderson comes out and calls out Eric Bischoff.  Bischoff comes out.  Anderson bitches about not getting his championship rematch tonight.  Bischoff blames The Network.  Is Cyrus going to show up?  Because that would probably rule.  Anyway, they argue.  Bischoff makes Anderson the guest referee in the main event tonight, with the logic that he’ll help Hardy win to have another chance at Hardy.  Anderson agrees, then gives Bischoff the Mic Check.

Velvet Sky and Winter bicker backstage.  Winter grabs some scissors.  Angelina comes in and tells Winter to chill.  Hehe… Winter chill…

Tonight, Hardy vs. RVD.  Up next, women’s tag match.  Commercials.

House shows!

AJ Styles rants and raves about Flair backstage.  He wants Flair next week.

The Beautiful People (TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champion Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) vs. Sarita & Rosita.  They brawl in the aisle.  They brawl in the ring.  Velvet beats up Sarita.  Love and Rosita tag in.  BP double team Rosita.  Sarita comes in and Love throws her outside.  Rosita tries to rally.  Love gives her the World’s Weakest Slam.  Sarita tags in.  Love hits a wonky move for 2.  Velvet tags in.  Sarita kicks her in the pussy, wiggles her ass, and tags out.  Sky overcomes a double team.  Rosita hits a jawbreaker.  Sarita tags in.  Sky gives her a shitty hip toss into the ring.  Sky goes for a DDT, but Rosita stops her.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Rosita trips Sky from the outside.  Sarita pins Sky with her feet on the ropes in 3:49.  This was fucking atrocious.  Velvet challenges Sarita to a match with no cheating allowed.  Sarita says Velvet is a joke, which is true, and challenges her to put her career on the line.  Sky agrees.  Please win, Sarita!

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious somewhere else.

Kurt Angle is going to where Karen and Jeff are.

Tonight, RVD vs. Hardy with Anderson as ref.  Commercials.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne and Tara are obnoxious backstage.  She’s issued an open challenge to anyone in the world.

Scott Steiner talks about having a pose off with Rob Terry next week.  Ugh.

Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy video package.

Jeff and Karen are obnoxious at dinner.  Kurt Angle shows up.  Jeff and Karen run away.  That was pointless.

Rob Van Dam talks backstage.

The main event is NEXT!  Commercials.

Tenay and Taz talk about what happened at the PPV with Bully Ray, Brother Devon, and Devon’s sons.  Bully Ray comes out to be an asshole.  Taz tells him to STFU and GTFO.  They argue.  Ray slaps Tenay in the back of the head just to be a dick.

Ken Anderson comes out and does his intro.  It’s main event time!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Rob Van Dam.  Ken Anderson is the guest referee.  They lock up.  RVD goes into karate mode, then into judo mode.  Hardy hides in the ropes.  RVD drops him crotch-first into the ropes and hits the flying kick.  RVD front suplexes Hardy into the guardrail and hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDRAIL LEG DROP~!  Commercials.  RVD hits a slingshot leg drop to the apron, then another one back into the ring for 2.  RVD hits a front slam and goes for the split legged moonsault, but Hardy gets his knees up.  Hardy dropkicks Hardy into the post and out of the ring.  Back inside, Hardy hits a front suplex for 2.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  RVD avoids the Whisper In The Wind and hits a standing moonsault.  RVD makes his comeback and hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  RVD hits his swank leg roll cradle for 2, then kicks Hardy in the face.  RVD goes up top.  Hardy pushes him off into the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb for the… RVD kicks out!  Hardy and Anderson argue.  RVD hits a chin crusher and spin kick, then the Five Star Frog Splash.  Hardy gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Hardy accidentally bumps into Anderson.  Anderson glares at him.  Hardy kicks RVD in the balls where Anderson can’t see it, then hits the Twist of Hate for the pin in 12:12.  Pretty good match.  Anderson raises Hardy’s hand, then gives him the Mic Check.  RVD and Anderson argue.  Anderson gives RVD the Mic Check too.

Aside from a decent main event, this show was fucking atrocious.  After a run of watchable shows, this was pretty much back to business as usual for iMPACT!

TNA Against All Odds 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2011 by Chui

Very cool opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  They talk about what’s going down tonight and announce that Generation Me couldn’t make it due to travel issues, so they’re out of the Three-Way #1 Contender Match with Robbie E.

Robbie E. and Cookie come out.  Robbie blathers like a retard.  Since Gen Me couldn’t make it, he’s #1 Contender by default.  He wants the referee to count them out and raise his hand in victory.  The referee rings the bell and counts them out.  Robbie wins by forfeit.  He’s going to get his title shot tonight, and apparently doesn’t know it.  Kazarian comes out to inform him.  He calls Cookie a filthy garden gnome, so that’s awesome.  Robbie is upset to be getting a title shot for some reason.  Kazarian attacks Robbie and throws him into the ring.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  Kazarian beats up Robbie.  Yay!  Cookie tries to trip Kazarian, but he stomps her hand.  Kazarian hits a spin kick for 2.  Kazarian kicks Robbie off the apron and goes up top.  Cookie tries to fuck with him.  Kazarian grabs her.  Robbie drops Kazarian and makes him face plant into the steps.  Robbie ramps Kazarian’s arm into the steps for good measure.  Back inside, Kazarian tries to rally and eats a boot.  Robbie hits a diving fist drop for 2.  Cookie chokes Kazarian behind the referee’s back.  Robbie hits a side Russian leg sweep or something similar for 2.  Robbie ground Kazarian with a rear chin lock.  Kazarian avoids Robbie in the corner and hits a springboard dropkick.  Kazarian makes his comeback and hits a rebound leg drop for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver, but Robbie counters and goes for the neckbreaker.  They trade cradles.  Kazarian hits the Axe Guillotine Driver (which apparently he calls the Fade To Black) for the pin in 7:11.  Okay match.

Christy Hemme interviews Scott Steiner and TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Typical Steiner rambling.  He massages Roode’s shoulders and Roode tries to translate what he said into English.

AJ Styles comes out to join Tenay and Taz for commentary.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Rob Terry, Gunner, & Murphy of Immortal vs. Scott Steiner & TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Gunner and Murphy finally have wrestling gear.  Steiner and Gunner lock up.  Steiner shoulder blocks him, then chops the shit out of him.  Gunner tries to do something cute and gets overhead suplexed.  Murphy comes in and gets one for himself.  Terry tags in and poses.  Steiner is unimpressed.  Beer Money distracts the referee.  Steiner kicks Terry square in the balls and lands a STEINER LINE~!, then drops an elbow and does some push ups.  Murphy tags and locks up with Steiner.  Storm tags in and beats up Murphy.  Storm hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Murphy tags in.  Storm avoids a kick and hits a knee to the face and a neckbreaker for 1.  Gunner tries to through Storm out of the ring.  Storm skins the cat back in and hits a flurry of offense.  Storm lands corner punches.  The heels cut Storm off and work him over.  Storm hits Terry with a Lung Blower.  Gunner tries to cut Storm off again, but Storm kicks him away and makes the hot tag to Roode.  Roode wins wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Terry accidentally hits Murphy.  BEER!  MONEY! double suplex on Terry.  Gunner decks Storm.  Roode hits the spinebuster on Gunner, then Murphy.  Terry tries to chokeslam Roode, but Roode counters and gives him a spinebuster too.  Gunner goes up top.  Roode cuts him and tags in Steiner.  FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP ROPE!  Steiner pins Gunner in 10:12.  Fun match!

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Devon, who has decided that his sons aren’t going to be in the match.

Pope/Joe video package.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe.  Pope has “Pope’s Gonna Kill You” on the back of his trunks.  He bails because he’s a pussy.  Pope finally kicks Joe in the gut and attacks.  Joe goes for the choke.  Pope escapes and bails again.  Pope tries to leave, but Okato (the former Kazuchika Okada) appears and forces Pope back to ringside.  He has a Kato mask on him.  Joe hits an elbow suicida and throws Pope back into the ring.  Pope rallies, hits a suplex, and poses.  Joe no sells and kicks his ass.  Joe hits the face wash in the corner.  Pope pokes Joe in the eyes to regain the initiative and puts a hurting on Joe.  Joe rallies and makes his comeback.  Senton splash gets 2.  Snap powerslam gets 2.  Pope lands a knee to the face and removes a turnbuckle pad.  Joe avoids having his face rammed into the exposed buckle.  Pope gets a reverse cradle, but Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch.  Pope immediately submits in 8:32.  It was okay.  Pope applauds Joe and offers to shake his hand.  Joe refuses.  Pope cheap shots him, drops Okato, and rams Joe’s head into the exposed turnbuckle.  Pope hits the Elijah Express.  Joe is bleeding and pissed off.  Pope runs away.

Christy Hemme interviews Mickie James.

Mickie James/Madison Rayne hype video.

Last Knockout Standing Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Mickie James.  Madison goes for a punch with the loaded glove, which is perfectly legal.  Mickie avoids the shot and beats her up.  They go outside and Madison punches the post.  Mickie hits her head on the steps and makes it up at about 4.  Back inside, they counter each others’ finish.  They fight on the ramp.  Madison clubs Mickie in the back with the loaded glove and goes to work on her back.  Mickie reverses Madison into the post.  Back in the ring, Madison hits her finish.  Mickie recovers and rallies.  They brawl outside.  Madison crawls under the ring.  Mickie follows.  They both come out the other side.  That was utterly pointless.  Mickie accidentally punches the steps.  Mickie kicks her.  Mickie throws Madison back into the ring to break the count, then goes up top.  Madison cuts her off and throws her to the floor.  Mickie makes it up at 9.  Mickie pulls Madison’s arm across the top rope, then hits the diving Thesz press.  Mickie sort of hits the Mick Kick, then takes Madison’s glove and puts it on.  Tara runs in.  Mickie decks her with the loaded glove.  Madison decks Mickie with brass knuckles and goes for the pin.  Idiot.  10 count.  Madison retains in 8:29.  This wasn’t any good.

Jeff Hardy talks backstage, then paints lines on his face.

Matt Morgan comes out and calls out Hernandez.  Hernandez comes out.  Hernandez is the heel now, despite the fact that Morgan is the one who kicked Hernandez’s head into the post last year.  They banter.  Hernandez is turning this into a racial issue.  He kicks Morgan in the balls and gives him an Attitude Adjustment, of all things.  Hernandez also now walks like a retard who thinks he’s a bad ass.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Hardy, whose nickname is now “Cold Blood.”

Matt Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam.  They lock up.  Hardy powers RVD into the corner.  The ref gets between them.  They trade punches.  RVD’s singlet is really cool looking tonight.  Hardy blocks the monkey flip and sends RVD’s face into the turnbuckle, then drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy pounds on RVD in the corner.  RVD lands a jump kick.  Hardy bails.  RVD goes for an Asai moonsault, but Hardy pulls him down and makes his face plant into the apron.  Hardy tries to suplex RVD into the barricade, but RVD turns it into a front suplex, then hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDAIL LEG DROP~!  Back inside, Hardy hits a DDT for 2.  RVD rolls out of the ring.  Hardy sends RVD into the barricade again.  Back inside, Hardy hits an enzui leg drop for 2.  Hardy beats on RVD.  Hardy locks in a rolling butterfly lock.  RVD gets a foot on the rope.  Matt humps RVD.  I don’t know why either.  Hardy hits the bottom rope decapitator for 2.  Hardy applies a full nelson.  RVD fights out.  Hardy hits a sleeper drop for 2.  Stupid alternating chants.  Hardy applies a cravat hold.  He’s breaking out all kinds of new shit tonight.  Hardy drops RVD and goes up top.  RVD catches him midair with a thrust kick.  RVD makes his comeback.  Hardy avoids the Rolling Thunder, but RVD hits a standing moonsault for 2.  RVD kicks Hardy in the face, hits a front slam, and follows with the split-legged moonsault for 2.  Hardy ducks a kick and hits the Side Effect for 2.  RVD counters the Twist of Hate and drops Hardy with a spin kick.  RVD goes up top.  Hardy cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  They fight over it for a while.  Hardy back body drops RVD off the top rope, then goes for a moonsault press.  RVD avoids it and hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 13:20.  Decent match.  The best thing on the show so far, which is kind of sad.

Christy Hemme interviews Bully Ray, who bullies her, then talks shit about Devon’s kids.

Ray/Devon hype video.

Street Fight: Bully Ray vs. Brother Devon.  Ray tries to jump Devon in the aisle with a chain, but Devon kicks his ass all over ringside.  Devon throws Ray into the ring and brings in some plunder.  Devon lights Bully up with a Singapore cane.  Ray begs off, then cheap shots Devon.  Devon canes him in the head.  Awesome.  Devon’s sons come out.  He orders them to the back.  Ray hits Devon in the back with a chair, then spits on his sons again.  Ray beats Devon with weapons and puts his neck in a chair.  The kids attack.  Ray threatens them with the chain.  Devon wakes up and makes his comeback.  Devon hits a back body drop and Bubba audibly says “Oh shit!”  Devon’s son Terrell hits Ray with a trash can.  Terrence and Terrell hold Bubba’s legs open so Devon can hit the Wassup headbutt.  Devon & sons get the table.  Devon sets up the table.  Ray hits him in the balls and handcuffs him to the turnbuckle.  Terrence and Terrell go to help their dad.  Ray cold cocks Terrence.  Terrell kicks Bubba’s ass to a BIG pop.  Bubba clotheslines Terrell to death and pins him in 9:23, which counts for some reason.  Ray spits in Devon’s face and talks shit to him.  He teases hitting Devon with a chair.  Devon calls for useless security.  Ray puts the chair down, then powerbombs Terrence through the table.  Ray leaves.  Devon finally gets cut free so he can check on his kids.  Taz talks in his low, serious voice.  Terrence gets stretchered out while Devon carries Terrell.  Good way to continue the feud.

Jeremy Borash interviews Jeff and Karen Jarrett.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Jarrett/Angle hype video.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ Karen Jarrett) vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  Angle pushes Jarrett into the corner.  Referee forces a break.  Angle takes Jarrett down with a side headlock takeover.  Jarrett gets free and grabs a side headlock.  Angle shoves him away, then invites him to reapply the hold.  Jarrett does, and Angle gives him a backdrop suplex.  They go into an awesome chain wrestling sequence.  Angle hits a snap suplex for 2.  Angle pounds on Jarrett and throws him out of the ring.  He invites Karen over to watch him punch Jeff in the face.  Back inside, Angle hits an elbow smash for 2.  Jarrett avoids Angle’s charge in the corner and Angle spears the most, then falls out of the ring.  Jarrett throws Angle’s injured shoulder into the barricade twice, then takes him back inside to work him over.  Jarrett goes up top, but Angle springs up and suplexes him down in classic Angle fashion.  Angle lands some clotheslines and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle goes for a German, but Jarrett switches around.  Angle rolls through and goes for the ankle lock.  Jarrett escapes.  Angle hits the rolling Germans for 2.  Jarrett lands an enzuigiri and goes for the Stroke.  Angle counters into the ankle lock.  Jarrett rolls through, then charges and crotches himself on the ropes.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Karen distracts the referee.  Jarrett hits Angle in the balls.  Jarrett hits the Stroke for the pi…NO!  Angle kicks out!  Jarrett goes for the Stroke again.  Angle pushes Jarrett away, bumping the ref in the process.  Jarrett uses a distraction from Karen to Pearl Harbor Angle on the outside and send him repeatedly into the steps.  Back inside, Jarrett tries to use a chair, but Angle takes it away.  The referee wakes up to take the chair from Angle.  Jarrett gets a schoolboy for 2.  Angle hits an Exploder for 2.  Angle goes up top.  Karen distracts him.  Jarrett sort of hits the Stroke off the middle rope for 2.  Angle hits a German suplex and drops the straps.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs Karen’s hands and pulls her into the ring.  Jarrett taps while the referee is busy with Karen.  Jarrett clocks Angle with a chair behind the referee’s back and gets the pi…NO!  Angle kicked out again!  Angle gets an inside cradle for 2.  Jarrett squashes a sunset flip and gets a relatively clean pin in 16:18.  Hell of a match.  Angle is very dejected.  He takes his boots off and leaves them in the ring, which in amateur wrestling signifies retirement.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson.

Anderson/Hardy hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  Entrances and intros.  Hebner and Bischoff’s kid are both referees.  That may come into play later.  Borash is a nice dude, but he’s a shitty ring announcer.  They talk.  Hardy spits in Anderson’s face.  Anderson kicks his ass.  Hardy bails and goes after his fugly neon ladder.  They brawl at ringside.  Anderson sends Hardy crashing into the ladder, then drives Hardy into the side of the ring with another ladder.  Back inside, Hardy hits a neckbreaker onto a ladder.  Hardy climbs for his fugly belt, but Anderson stops him and hits a neckbreaker.  Anderson climbs for the belt, but Hardy stops him and kicks him into the corner.  Hardy hits a corner dropkick.  Hardy dropkicks a ladder into Anderson’s balls.  Fucking ow.  Anderson hits a side Russian leg sweep onto the ladder.  Ouch again.  Anderson brings in a second ladder and climbs for the belt.  Hardy climbs up the other side.  They fight at the top of the ladder.  Hardy hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the ladder!  Hardy slams Anderson and goes for his trademark “off the top rope, over the ladder leg drop.”  Anderson avoids it.  Hardy back body drops Anderson onto the ladder in the corner.  Ouch.  Hardy sets a ladder upside down for some reason, then beats on Anderson.  They go outside again.  Hardy tries to hit Anderson with the fugly neon ladder, but Anderson avoids it and sends it into Hardy’s face.  Hardy sends Anderson into the steps, injuring his wrist.  Hardy uses the steps to hit the Whisper In The Wind against the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy tries to front suplex Hardy into the upside down ladder.  Anderson counters, suplexes Hardy sort of at the ladder, and knocks the whole mess over.  Anderson climbs for the belt.  Hardy pulls him off and hits the Twist of Hate.  Hardy has the referee hand him his neon ladder.  He tries to do something to Anderson, but Anderson counters with the Lambea Leap onto the ladder.  Anderson goes for the Kenton Bomb, but Hardy avoids it.  Hardy sets up two ladders side by side and climbs.  Anderson follows.  They fight on top of the ladders.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check, but they both just kind of fall in a big, painful looking mess.  Hardy kicks Anderson out of the ring, climbs the ladder, and takes the belt down to regain the title in 18:16.  Okay if sort of sloppy match.  Match highlights.  Hardy celebrates with his ugly belt and his awful entrance music.

This show was pretty average for the most part, but Angle/Jarrett was really good.