Archive for No Surrender

TNA No Surrender 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Okay PPV intro video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Oshawa, Ontario!  This is TNA’s first PPV outside of the United States.

Sting kicks off the show.  Huh?  Oh, he’s just out to cut a promo.  Sting says he will challenge the winner of tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Bound For Glory next month.  He talks about the younger guys not respecting the business or nothing, makes a Bret Hart reference, and warns AJ Styles and Samoa Joe that it’s Show time.

Earlier today: Christian Cage arrived at work.

Tenay and West inform us that due to Hurricane Ike, Booker T wasn’t able to make it to the show.  He was supposed to be in the Four-Way World Title match tonight.  They run down the card for the evening.  Finally time for the opener.

The Rock N Rave Infection (Lance Rock, Jimmy Rave, & Christy Hemme) vs. The Prince Justice Brotherhood (Curry Man, Super Eric, & Shark Boy).  Rave and Eric start.  Eric sends Rave out and hits the first suicide dive of the night, then throws him back in and hits a missile dropkick for a two count.  Rock and Shark Boy tag in.  Rock statys in briefly before tagging back out to Rave.  Sharky kicks his ass and tags in Curry Man.  Curry forces Rave to tag in Christy.  Funny exchange, wnen Shark and Rave come back in.  Sharky gets backdropped out of the ring, then Rock whips him into the guardrail.  Rock N Rave beat up Shark Boy until Sharky tags in Curry Man.  Curry kisses Hemme.  She likes it.  He tries pin her with a reverse cradle, but Rock breaks it.  Rock takes down Curry and Christy hits her stupid split leg drop for a near fall.  Shark hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Hemme, but Rock nails him.  Eric hits a double DVD on Rock and Rave.  Curry pins Hemme for the victory at 7:49.  Fun comedy match.

Awesome Kong/ODB video package.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. ODB.  Saeed jumps ODB in the aisle because ODB ripped her veil off recently on iMPACT!  Kong takes ODB to the ring and beats her up, but misses a splash, which allows ODB to go on the offensive.  ODB brings in a table and sets it up in the corner.  Kong reverses the Irish whip attempt and clotheslines ODB.  They go outside and fight into the crowd.  Kong gets a near fall on the ramp, then tries to sandwich ODB against the ring post.  ODB moves and Kong lariats the post.  ODB hits a Thesz press for a near fall I think.  Back in the ring, ODB sends Kong into a chair set up in the corner and schoolgirls her for a near fall.  ODB sets up the table and tries to slam Kong.  Kong goes for the Awesome Bomb, but ODB fights out of it.  Kong stands on the middle rope and tells Saeed to bring her a chair.  ODB powerbombs Kong onto the table, which doesn’t break through.  Ouch.  Saeed pulls ODB out of the ring, but gets sent into the guardrail.  ODB gets a near fall on Kong with an inside cradle.  Kong sandwiches ODB in the corner and nails her with a backfist.  Saeed gives Kong another table, which is set up in the corner.  ODB takes a drink from her flask and sprays it in Kong’s face, but Kong still manages to give her a spinebuster through the table for the win at 10:24.  It wasn’t awful.

Generic blonde interviews Christian Cage.  He talks about wanting to be a wrestler growing up just one hour from where the PPV is tonight.  He says he’s going to win the title in front of his family and friends tonight.

Abyss & Morgan/Team 3D video package.

Team 3D vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan.  Abyss and Brother Ray start.  The storyline here is Abyss spend time in a nuthouse to curb his violent tendencies (using weapons and stuff).  Ray hits a Rock Bottom, then tags in Devon, who hammers Abyss with punches.  Abyss clotheslines him and tags in Morgan.  Team 3D tries to leave, but Abyss and Morgan case them down and they fight in the aisle and back to the ring.  3D works on Abyss’ leg to half ass build the heat until Abyss makes the lukewarm tag to Morgan, who cleans house.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint on Devon and covers, but Ray pulls the referee out of the ring.  Johnny Devine runs in and hits Morgan with a chair.  Devon covers, but Morgan kicks out.  3D hits the reverse 3D, but Morgan kicks out again.  They set up for the proper 3D, but Morgan clotheslines them and tags in Abyss.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment (I think that’s what it’s called) on Devine to dispose of him.  3D hits the Doomsday Device on Abyss, but Morgan breaks the cover.  Morgan fights Ray on the outside while Abyss and Devon fight in the ring.  Abyss hits a weak chokeslam for a near fall, then picks up the chair.  Before he decides to use it, Ray makes it back in and hits him from behind.  Morgan pulls him out and punches the chair into Devon’s face.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Devon for the win at 11:35 to put the finishing touches on this crapfest.  Bubba low blows Abyss and nails Morgan with the chair, then 3D and Devine bail.  Morgan gets up to find Abyss holding the chair and thinks Abyss was the one who hit him.

Bashir/Williams/Creed video package.

Three-Way Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed.  A Canadian is defending the title in Canada and Earl Hebner is the referee.  Uh oh.  Of course we get the obligatory “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant.  Early action is fast and furious.  Creed hits the second suicide dive of the night to take out Williams and Bashir outside the ring.  They do lots of cool stuff, but most of it is too quick to call.  Williams hits his rana suicida, then Bashir takes him out with a baseball slide dropkick.  Bashir and Creed fight for a bit until Williams makes it back in and sets up a double Canadian Destroyer.  Sorry, not going to happen in this lifetime.  Creed hits a double diving leg drop on both of them.  Williams goes for the Destroyer on Creed, but gets countered.  Williams puts Bashir in the Sharpshooter to the delight of the crowd.  Bashir crawls over and covers Creed, but Williams pulls him back to the middle of the ring.  Creed hits a bulldog on Williams to break the hold.  Creed counters a Destroyer attempt with the same Beach-Break like move he did at the previous PPV.  Williams hits the Destroyer on Creed and covers.  Bashir pulls him out of the ring and sends him into the guardrail, then slips in and pins Creed to win the title at 8:16.  Good match.

Samoa Joe arrives at the building.  The World Champion can’t trouble himself to make it to work on time?

Wilde/Love video package.  The Beautiful People and Kip James make their entrance.  Every one of Kip’s gimmicks is progressively more gay than the last.  Taylor is the hometown girl.  Native champions are not doing well on this show so far.  Taylor introduces her backup for the night, Rhino.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) (w/ Rhino) vs. Angelina Love (w/ Kip James & Velvet Sky).  They trade girlie punches to start.  Traci Brooks comes out to take notes or something.  She’s the “Knockout Law.”  Sky nails Wilde with Kip’s purple makeup kit outside the ring.  They trade shots back in the ring.  Love hits a front suplex for a near fall.  Wilde gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Rhino Gores an interfering Kip James.  Sky grabs Wilde from behind and holds her so Love can nail her.  Wilde ducks and Love puts on the brakes.  Wilde dropkicks Love into Sky, then hits a Northern Lights suplex for the win at 6:23.  Lousy and boring.

Lethal/Dutt/Val video package.  Tonight they’ll have a ladder match with So Cal Val’s engagement ring hanging above the ring.  The winner gets Val.  Yeah, that’s really smart way to choose your man.

Ladder of Love Match:
Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt.  Good exchange to start, with Dutt taking a Dragon suplex and landing on his knees, then Lethal hitting a tope suicida.  Tenay says he’s just heard that Jacqueline attacked Salinas in the bathroom.  Lethal backdrops Dutt out of the ring and onto a ladder.  Lethal climbs the ladder and goes for the prize, but Dutt springboards to the ladder and drops Lethal into the ropes.  Dutt heads up the ladder, but Lethal powerbombs him.  Dutt brings in another ladder and sets it up between the ropes and the main ladder.  Lethal takes a bump into it, then Dutt hits a springboard flip.  It’s really hard to describe some of this shit.  The second ladder is now on top of the first ladder.  Lethal catapults Dutt, but completely misses the ladders.  Lethal takes the second ladder down and uses it against Dutt.  Matches like this can be really hard to call.  Sick tree of woe spot with the ladder.  They fight in the aisle.  Lethal takes a bump into a ladder set up on two chairs.  Slight “HOLY SHIT” chant.  The make it back in the ring and both set up ladders.  Dutt puts Lethal in the camel clutch ON TOP OF THE LADDERS.  Lethal fights out and sends Dutt crashing to the mat.  Lethal gets his leg caught in the ladder and Val comes in to help him.  Dutt yells at Val.  Dutt and Lethal climb opposite sides of the ladder.  Val gives Lethal a low blow, allowing Dutt to win at 13:22.  They make out after the match.  I’m sure absolutely every one saw this one coming.

Jeremy Borash interviews Kurt Angle.

Beer Money/LAX video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) (w/ Jacqueline) vs. LAX (w/ Hector Guerrero).  Homicide wants Roode, who bails and tags in Storm.  Remember, Roode hit Homicide in the eye with a beer bottle at the previous PPV.  Hernandez tags in and hits a springboard shoulder block on Storm.  Storm hits a Lung Blower on Hernandez and covers, but Homicide makes the save.  Hernandez goes for a powerbomb on Storm, but Roode clips his knee.  Homicide eventually tags in and then tags Roode’s face with punches.  Homicide hits a DDT off the turnbuckle and covers, but Storm saves.  Roode hits a spinebuster, but Hernandez saves.  Hernandez sends Roode out and Homicide hits a suicide dive.  Hernandez climbs the ropes, but Storm spits beer in this face and powerbombs him down.  Second time tonight that spot as been used.  Homicide goes for Roode’s head with a beer bottle, but smashes it into the steps and maybe hits his hand up.  Hernandez hits a dive on everybody.  Roode and Homicide back in the ring.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killa, but Jacqueline throws powder in his eyes.  Roode hits the Payoff on Homicide for the win at 8:44.  Not bad, but not as good as their previous PPV matches.

Styles/Trigg video package.

MMA/Amateur Wrestling Match: Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles.  Trigg cuts a promo to piss off the crowd.  There will be three 5 minute rounds, with a 1 minute rest period between rounds.  Typical boring MMA stuff until the take a spill out of the ring.  They go back in the ring and it goes back to being a boring MMA match.  AJ locks in a cross armbreaker as the first round ends.  Crowd chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT” as the second round starts.  AJ hits an accidental low blow and the match is ruled a no contest at 7:16.  This “match” was just plain retarded.  AJ nails Trigg with a Singapore cane afte the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Samoa Joe.  He rips on Sting for not working house shows.

Joe/Booker/Christian/Angle video package.  Booker isn’t here because of the weather, so now it’s a Three-Way Match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle.  Sting comes down and Joe attacks him the aisle.  AJ comes out and tries to make peace.  Sting leaves.  Joe goes to the ring so we can have the introductions and the match can start.  Christian and Joe double team Angle a bit, then go at it themselves.  Angle comes back in and hits a belly-to-belly overhead suplex to send Christian over the ropes and out of the ring.  Angle wears down Joe with a rear chin lock.  Christian makes it back in to take a belly-to-belly superplex from Angle.  Joe hits his powerslam on Angle for a two count.  Angle counters an Unprettier attempt from Chrstian into the rolling Germans.  Joe goes for the choke on Angle.  Angle tries to give him the Angle Slam, but Joe hits a German.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster on Christian but fails.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe for a near fall.  Tower of doom spot in the corner.  Joe gets a two count on Christian, then Angle.  Angle tries to give Christian a German off the apron, but Christian holds on, so it just looks gay.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Joe schoolboys Angle for a near fall.  Angle locks Joe in the ankle lock, then puts both in it at the same time.  They flip out of it.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Christian and covers, but Angle grabs referee Earl Hebner’s shirt.  Hebner finally gets away and counts two.  Joe throws Christian out of the ring into Angle, then dives out onto both of them.  They make it back into the ring and Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe.  Christian follows with a frog splash, then sends Angle out of the ring.  Christian hits the Unprettier on Joe and covers, but Angle pulls Hebner out and throws him into the guardrail.  Angle wallops Christian with a chair, then Angle Slams him out of the ring.  He clobbers Joe with the chair and locks in the ankle lock.  Jeff Jarrett comes down and blasts Angle with the guitar.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Jarrett puts Hebner back in the ring to count the pin at 15:29.  Joe vs. Sting next month a Bound For Glory!  Alright match.

All in all, a lackluster show with a couple of okay matches, but nothing outstanding.

TNA iMPACT! 9/16/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Kurt Angle/Jeff Hardy highlight video.

“One More Time”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy are already in the ring.  Eric Bischoff and Miss Tessmacher come out.  Bischoff puts over Mr. Anderson for making it to the final of the World Title tournament at Bound For Glory.  He puts over the Angle/Hardy match, which apparently everybody but me thought was great.  He says it will be a three-way match for the title at the PPV.  Dixie Carter comes out.  She also verbally fellates them for the match, then says she’s going to override Bischoff’s decision and put Angle and Hardy in a no time limit match tonight.  Her music plays.  Why does this woman deserve music?

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is pissed off.  He says he’s going to talk to Bischoff.  He meets and greets Kevin Nash and Sting.

Somebody asks Tommy Dreamer where EV2.0 goes from here.  He says “maybe home.”  Why do people always bother Dreamer when he’s going to his car?

Kevin Nash (w/ Sting) vs. Samoa Joe (w/ Jeff Jarrett).  Nash beats up Joe.  Joe ducks clotheslines and drops Nash with a big kick, then hits him with a lariat.  Joe kicks the shit out of Nash some more.  Outside, Nash rams Joe’s head into the apron.  Joe fights back.  Sting tries to attack Joe.  Jarrett saves and the 4 of them brawl.  Instead of DQ’ing anyone like a ref with a brain would do, the referee counts them both out in 2:42.  They all brawl some more.  Geeks eventually manage to break them up.  I’m bored with this feud.  They keep brawling through all the geeks.

Lacey Von Erich is in her locker room.  Madison Rayne and Tara come in.  Rayne tells Lacey they have a Tag title match next.  Lacey says she hasn’t decided whose side she’s on, which pisses Rayne off.  Rayne and Tara are mean to her.

Tonight, Angle vs. Hardy!  Next, Williams vs. Lethal for the X Title!

Kevin Nash and Sting talk backstage.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Douglas Williams (c) vs. Jay Lethal.  Lethal recently beat Williams in a non-title match on Xplosion, which no one anywhere has ever seen.  They brawl.  Williams hits a slam and a knee drop for 0.  Lethal hits a rebound kick in the corner.  They trade shots.  Williams hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  More brawling.  Williams applies an abdominal stretch.  Williams hits a suplex for 2.  Lethal fights back.  Williams kicks his knee out and locks him a modified bow & arrow lock.  Williams knees Lethal in the back.  Lethal fights out of a waist lock.  Williams comes off the top, but Lethal catches him with a dropkick.  Lethal goes for the handspring elbow.  Williams counts and goes for the Chaos Theory, but Lethal counters and hits the Lethal Combination for 2.  Lethal goes for the diving elbow drop, but Williams avoids it.  Lethal counters a tornado DDT attempt and hits the Lethal Injection for the pin in 5:16.  New champion!  Confetti falls as Lethal celebrates.  Okay little match.

Abyss drags a body around backstage.  WTF?

Kurt Angle talks about Jeff Hardy.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: Taylor Wilde & Hamada (c) vs. Madison Rayne & Lacey Von Erich (w/ Tara).  Wilde schools Lacey and gets some quick cradles for 2.  Rayne yells at Lacey, who manages a hammerlock and a headlock, but gets reversed.  Hamada tags in and hits a diving sunset flip on Lacey for 2.  Rayne tags in and boots Hamada in the face, then tags Lacey back in.  Lacey hits her stupid backflip elbow, then tries it again and misses.  Hamada slams her and hits a moonsault press for 2.  Fuck, it’s not over?  Wilde tags in and hits a diving cross body on Lacey for 2.  Stay down, idiot!  I don’t want to watch you wrestle anymore.  Rayne pulls Wilde’s hair from the apron, then tags in and beats her up.  Rayne hits a crappy clothesline and tags in Lacey.  They hit a double suplex for 2.  Lacey applies a rear chin lock.  Wilde escapes and tags in Hamada, who hits Lacey with running kicks and a headbutt.  Wilde tags in and knocks Rayne off the apron.  Hamada and Wilde hit Lacey with a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination and Wilde gets the pin in 4:03.  It was okay.  Rayne screams at Lacey.  Lacey tires of her shit and shoves her down.  Tara hits Lacey from behind with the motorcycle helmet.  The Beautiful People (the real ones, Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) come out to run off Rayne and Tara.

Tonight, Angle vs. Hardy!

Tommy Dreamer is head our way!  And he SUITED UP!

Jeff Hardy talks about Kurt Angle.

Tommy Dreamer comes out.  They show highlights from his I Quit Match with AJ Styles at No Surrender.  He calls out Fortune.  TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Ric Flair, Kazarian, Matt Morgan, and Beer Money come out.  Why must all TNA themes have awful rap lyrics?  Dreamer calls a truce and says it’s over.  He talks about how he wants to stay in TNA and talks about the Fortune members’ various histories with WWE and TNA.  He puts over Styles for beating him at the PPV.  Styles puts over Dreamer and they shake hands.  He then bashes Dreamer and cheap shots him.  Fortune commences to kicking the shit out Dreamer, much to the surprise of no one.  Brian Kendrick comes out to try to cover up Dreamer, but gets his ass kicked too.  Security, as usual, waits forever to come out.  Fire those guards and hire some competent ones.  Styles says now Dreamer can have his truce.  Well he won’t want it now!  Fortune leave.  Kendrick challenges any one of them to a fight and says some confusing scientific stuff.  Long, pointless segment.

Brian Kendrick vs. Matt Morgan.  JIP.  Morgan drops Kendrick with a clothesline, then gets around to taking his sunglasses off.  Morgan beats up Kendrick.  Morgan takes off his watch and hits the revolving elbows in the corner.  Morgan hits a fall away slam for 2, as he pulls Kendrick up to be a dick.  Kendrick surprises Morgan with a dropkick for the pin (2:06 shown).  Alright then.  Morgan says that doesn’t count because he was in a suit.  He’s throwing a fit.

The Pope walks into Bischoff’s office and finds Miss Tessmacher, who says Bischoff is in a meeting.  These fucks sure have their meetings at odd hours.  Pope is annoyed, then hits on Miss Tessmacher.  Ugh.

Tonight, HARDY VS. ANGLE!

Up next, RVD speaks!

House show plugs.

Abyss has 2 victims tied up in his torture room.  He uses a branding iron on one of them.  I hate this fucking company.

Tenay and Taz talk, then call Rob Van Dam on the telephone.  He says he’ll be there next week.

Generation Me come out.  They say that since they injured Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin should forfeit the tag titles to them.  They use way more words than I did.  TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin comes out and immediately attacks them.  He’s quickly overcome by the numbers game.  They give Sabin the DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER.  Fine segment.

Hardy vs. Angle is NEXT!

Shore!  I’m afraid to know what the fuck that is.  It’s coming on 10/7.  Joy.

Angle/Hardy highlight video.  Again.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Semifinal Rematch – No Time Limit: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle.  They went 30 minutes at the PPV, so they’re putting them in a no time limit match with 11 minutes of TV time left.  Brilliant.  They lock up.  Angle pushes Hardy into the corner and gives a clean break.  They lock up again.  Hardy works Angle’s arm.  Angle counters and works Hardy’s arm.  Hardy gets a rope break.  Angle grabs a side headlock and scores a knockdown with a shoulder block, then takes Hardy over with another side headlock.  Hardy backs Angle into the corner and doesn’t give a clean break.  He’s a dick.  I can tell by the way his tweets are typed.  Hardy slide dropkicks Angle into the post.  Hardy brings Angle back inside and hits a front suplex for 2.  Hardy applies a rear chin lock.  Angle escapes and they trade blows.  Angle side steps Hardy and sends him to the floor, then hits him with a slingshot dive.  Ken Anderson comes out to join Tenay and Taz for commentary.  Insta-commercials.  Double clothesline spot.  Angle has a flurry of offense.  Hardy boots him in the face.  Angle hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Of course, the match is secondary to camera shots of Anderson talking.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for 2.  Hardy goes up top, but Angle jumps up.  Hardy avoids him, but Angle hits a moonsault body block for 2.  Angle applies the ankle lock.  Hardy manages to escape and drops Angle with a kick.  Hardy goes up top and goes for the Swanton Bomb, but Angle gets his knees up.  Hardy covers for 2 anyway.  Hardy takes out the ref with the Whisper In The Wind.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Earl Hebner comes in to count 2.  Angle hits the Angle Slam again for 2.  Angle lands some punches on Hardy.  The show ends.  Fuck you, I’m not watching Reaction.  It was good until TNA stupidity set in.

Fuck this show.  Fuck this company.  They will never be successful.  Even if they hire someone competent to run things, too much damage has been done from them to ever be taken seriously.

TNA No Surrender 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2010 by Grappleholic

Earlier Today: Ken Anderson, “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, Jeff Hardy, and Kurt Angle all arrived at the building.

Opening video chronicling the various disputes and disagreements between the 4 aforementioned guys.

No Surrender!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Generation Me.  Gen Me get the shot because London Brawling couldn’t make the show.  I’m not going to complain about getting to see The Young Bucks instead of Brutus Magnus.  Shelley and Jeremy start with a fine chain wrestling sequence.  Shelley does a sweet wonky cradle for 2.  Max tags in to be the victim of more Shelley awesomeness.  Sabin tags in and has a fast paces exchange with Sabin.  They both throw a dropkick, then get in each others’ face.  Jeremy and Shelley come back in for more goodness.  Jeremy lands an elbow smash and some sweet arm drags.  Bucks make quick tags and double team Shelley.  Jeremy works Shelley’s arm with a series of arm stunners.  Shelley backdrops Jeremy to the apron.  Sabin tags in and the Guns hit a rapid fire double team sequence for 2.  Sabin hits an elbow drop for 2.  Shelley tags in and applies a wonky inverted Boston crab thing.  Max saves.  Sabin tags back in.  Guns try to double team, but Jeremy rallies awesomely and tags in Max.  Max runs wild and plants Sabin with a sweet bulldog for 2.  Max hits Shelley with a baseball slide dropkick, then hits Sabin with a cool jumping DDT for 2.  Bucks go for the More Bang For Your Buck, but Shelley blind tags himself in and hits Max with a missile kick for 2.  Max counters the Shiranui, but Shelley drops him with a kick and goes for a springboard.  Jeremy cuts him off and hits a neckbreaker on the apron.  Max covers for 2.  Bucks make quick tags and work over Shelley.  Max grounds Shelley with a rear chin lock.  Shelley fights out, but gets dropped with a kick.  Jeremy tags in and locks Shelley in a full nelson.  Shelley escapes with an arm drag.  Max nails Shelley from the apron, then tags in.  Bucks fuck up a double team allowing Shelley to make the hot tag to Sabin.  Sabin runs wild on Max.  Sabin hits a springboard jumping DDT, but Jeremy saves.  Sabin throws Jeremy out.  Jeremy comes back in and dropkicks Sabin to the apron.  Shelley clotheslines Jeremy out of the ring, then wipes him out with a dive.  Sabin and Max trade shots.  Max counters a tornado DDT.  Jeremy hits a weird Diamond Dust/Asai DDT thing.  Max covers, but Shelley saves.  Bucks double team Shelley.  Bucks miss the More Bang For Your Buck.  Lots of superkicks happen.  Guns hit the neckbreaker/cross body combo (called the Skull & Bones) on Jeremy and Sabin gets the pin in 12:51.  Awesome match!  Great way to open the PPV.  Generation Me decide to be dicks and jump the Guns after the match.  They were subtle heels throughout the match, and I guess they’re making the heel turn official.  The hit Shelley with a double DDT OF MURDER from the apron to the floor!  The Bucks laugh as Sabin and EMTs check on Shelley.  Shelley has to be helped to the back.

Tenay and Taz talk about the World Title tournament semifinals.

X Factors.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Douglas Williams (c) vs. Sabu.  Williams has new music.  Sabu gets a single leg takedown, believe it or not.  They lock up and do some chain wrestling.  Sweet.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Sabu chain wrestle before.  Sabu hits a clothesline and a slingshot leg drop, then applies a camel clutch.  Williams gets a rope break and bails.  Sabu hits him with a baseball slide dropkick and a cannonball dive.  Sabu finds a table under the ring and sets it up.  Williams rams Sabu’s head into it and takes him back inside.  Williams hits a diving European uppercut for 2.  Sabu tries to hit a Frankensteiner off the top rope and totally fucks it up.  Sabu brings in a chair.  Earl Hebner makes him put it down.  Sabu uses the chair to hit an ugly Triple Jump Moonsault for 2.  He tries it again, but Williams trips him and Sabu face plants into the chair.  Williams hits a knee drop for 2.  Williams kicks Sabu in the balls and works him over.  Williams lands another knee drop for 2.  Sabu hits a rebound jumping DDT for 2.  Sabu hits a springboard elbow smash for 2.  Sabu uses the chair as a springboard to kick Williams in the corner.  He tries again, but Williams kicks the chair into his middle.  Williams hits a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Sabu hits a clothesline and Williams bails.  Sabu tries to use the chair as a springboard again and stupid ass Hebner decides to get in the way.  Sabu hits a dive anyway.  Sabu tries to put Williams through the table, but Williams moves and Sabu crashes through it.  Back inside, Williams picks up the chair.  Hebner takes it away to distract himself, so Williams hits Sabu with the belt for the pin in 11:13.  This was pretty messy.

Christy Hemme interviews Ken Anderson.

Madison Rayne (w/ Tara) vs. Velvet Sky (w/ TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love).  Tara provides the distraction to let Rayne get the jump on Rayne.  Rayne dances to taunt Love, then screams and chokes Sky.  Rayne applies a camel clutch.  Sky kicks her in the crotch to escape, then lands a slap.  Tara gets on the apron.  The referee goes outside to admonish her.  Sky gets a schoolgirl, but the referee is incompetent.  Rayne beats up love some more and does her stupid head humping shit for 2.  Sky makes her comeback with shitty clotheslines, a shitty spear, and that stupid head pushing into the mat shit I hate.  Tara pulls Sky out of the ring and tries to use the motorcycle helmet, but Love kicks her in the back, which incapacitates her.  Sky hits Rayne with a DDT for the pin in 4:43.  This was brutal.

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Hardy.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Rhino vs. Abyss.  Rhino meets Abyss in the aisle and kicks his ass.  He throws Abyss into the ring and throws in some plunder.  Abyss bails and Rhino hits him with a slingshot dive.  They brawl in the crowd and outside the sound stage.  Back through the crowd and back into the ring, Rhino fights back after taking a beating outside.  Abyss whips Rhino into a garbage can that was wedged between the turnbuckles.  The fight over next to the entrance ramp.  Abyss whips Rhino into a barricade for 2.  Rhino throws Abyss through the poorly constructed stage.  They fight under the stage.  Seriously.  The camera man gets knocked down, so Tenay and Taz just talk.  Crowd chants “WE CAN’T SEE!”  Abyss throws Rhino through the other side of the stage for 2.  Abyss beats up Rhino back down to the ring.  Abyss breaks off a section of the guardrail and brings it into the ring.  He sets it up in the corner.  Rhino stops himself from crashing into it and makes his comeback, wailing on Abyss’ head with a cookie sheet.  Rhino hits a belly to belly suplex, then goes for the Gore.  Abyss catches him and chokeslams him on the trashcan for 2.  Abyss brings in Janice.  Rhino hits the Gore for 2.  The crowd chants “THIS IS AWESOME!”  They’re lying.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam for 2.  Abyss seems bothered by the crowd’s support of Rhino.  Abyss goes for a powerbomb into the barricade, but Rhino counters and hits a short lariat.  Rhino goes for the Gore into the barricade, but Abyss moves.  Rhino eats the barricade, then Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin in 12:40.  Lame garbage match.  Abyss yells about “them” coming on 10/10/10.

Jarrett & Joe/Sting & Nash video package.

Sting & Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett & Samoa Joe.  Joe and Sting start, but Sting attacks Jarrett on the apron.  Nash comes in and gets dropped by a running kick from Joe.  Joe runs wild on Sting, then tags in Jarrett.  Jarrett beats up Sting until Nash cheap shots Jarrett from the apron.  Nash tags in and beats up Jarrett.  Jarrett fights back, but is quickly cut off.  Nash hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Sting tags in and beats up Jarrett some more.  Sting hits the Stinger Splash and goes for a Vader Bomb, but Jarrett gets his knees up.  Joe gets the tag, but the referee was fucking around with Nash and didn’t see it.  Sting and Jarrett clothesline each other.  Joe gets the tag and runs wild.  Joe ducks a clothesline from Sting and hits Nash with a tope suicida.  Sting hits a Stun Gun on Jarrett.  Jarrett grabs the bat and clobbers Sting with it while the referee is outside dealing with Nash and Joe.  Joe comes back in and locks Sting in the Coquina Clutch for the referee stop win in 6:12.  Fine little match.  Best thing on the show since the opener.

Dreamer/Styles hype video.

Non-Title “I Quit” Match: TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer.  Styles tries to jump Dreamer in the stage, but Dreamer sees him and kicks his ass down to the ring.  Dreamer goes for the Texas Cloverleaf, but fails.  He does succeed in backdropping Styles to the floor.  Dreamer stretches Styles against the ring post, but Styles refuses to quit.  They trade chops on the floor.  Back in the ring, Dreamer applies a full nelson clutch.  Styles escapes and fishhooks Dreamer.  Dreamer backs Styles into the corner.  Styles charges Dreamer in the opposite corner, but Dreamer moves and Styles spears the post.  Dreamer goes for a submission hold, but Styles bails.  Dreamer hits a clothesline off of the apron.  Styles suplexes Dreamer on the ramp.  Styles goes for the figure-four, but Dreamer hits him with a stage light, then chokes him with the cable attached to it.  Styles exposes a section of the floor and goes for the Styles Clash, but Dreamer counters, sends him into the post, and hits a shoulder breaker.  Back in the ring, Dreamer works Styles’ arm.  Dreamer fucks his arm up with a chair.  Styles escapes via eye poke and tries to stab Dreamer with a fork, but Dreamer cuts him off and locks him in a crossface.  Styles bails.  Dreamer follows and rams his arm against the steps and the barricade.  Styles crotches Dreamer on the barricade.  Styles stretches Dreamer’s leg in the guardrail.  Back inside, Styles goes for the figure-four.  Dreamer counters, but Styles immediately takes out his leg and pulls his crotch into the ring post.  Styles locks in the figure-four around the post!  Back inside, Styles hits a shin breaker onto the chair.  Styles locks in the figure-four leglock.  Dreamer turns it over forcing Styles to release the hold.  Dreamer gets Styles in some kind of hold using the chair.  Dreamer gets the fork and tries to use it, but Styles knocks him out of the ring with the Pele kick.  Styles goes for a dive, but Dreamer whacks him mid-air with a Singapore cane.  Dreamer wails on Styles with the cane and hits a pumphandle suplex with it.  Dreamer applies a crossface with the cane until the cane breaks.  Styles stabs Dreamer in the face with another fork.  Styles pushes the fork into Dreamer’s eye area, forcing Dreamer to quit in 16:28.  Really good match here, which kind of surprised me.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Tale of the Tape for Angle/Hardy.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Semifinal: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle.  Dixie Carter is in the crowd, because she has to be on TV.  Gunner and Murphy watch over her.  Angle and Hardy lock up.  Angle takes Hardy down with a front face lock.  Hardy gets a rope break and grabs a side headlock.  Hardy scores a knockdown with a shoulder block, then grabs his headlock again.  Angle pushes Hardy into the corner to break, then wails on him with punches.  Hardy hits a front suplex and leg drop the balls, followed by a basement dropkick for 2.  Angle knocks Hardy loopy with an elbow smash, then hits the first powerbomb I ever remember seeing him hit.  Angle works a side headlock and a waist lock.  Hardy escapes and makes a comeback.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Hardy hits a modified Twist of Fate and goes up top.  Angle springs him and hits the arm drag from the top rope for 2.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam.  Hardy counters with an arm drag, but fucks it up.  Hardy hits a move for 2.  Hardy goes for the Swanton Bomb, but Angle avoids it.  Angle hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle goes for the ankle lock, then hits the Rolling Germans instead for 2.  Angle goes for a moonsault, but Hardy avoids it.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind for 2.  They go outside and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate on the floor.  Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb from the top rope to the floor!  They both barely beat the count back into the ring.  They trade shots.  Angle counters the Twist of Fate and hits a release German suplex.  Angle hits a frog splash for 2.  Angle goes for another powerbomb, but Hardy backdrops him out of it and hits the Twist of Fate for 2.  Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb for 2.  He hits again, but Angle kicks out again!  Hardy goes for a third Swanton Bomb, but Angle gets his knees up.  Angle hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Hardy rolls through and sends Angle to the floor.  Hardy hits a clothesline off of the apron.  Back inside, Angle locks the ankle lock in again.  Hardy gets a rope break, but Angle pulls him back to the middle of the ring and locks it again again.  Hardy kicks his way free.  Angle hits a clothesline for 2.  Angle locks in the ankle lock again.  After like a minute, he finally grapevines the leg.  The 20 minute time limit expires.  THE FUCK?  What kind of fucking moron puts a 20 minute time limit on a World title tournament semifinal match?  The crowd is totally deflated, then they start chanting “FIVE MORE MINUTES!”  Eric Bischoff comes out and confers with Dixie Carter, then says 5 more minutes!  Angle viciously attacks Hardy’s ankle.  Angle locks in the ankle lock again.  Hardy kicks him to the floor.  Hardy beats up Angle on the outside.  Back inside, Hardy goes up top again.  Angle crotches him on the top rope and hits the Angle Slam off the top.  HARDY FUCKING KICKS OUT.  THIS MATCH WILL NOT END.  Angle charges at Hardy, but gets back body dropped to the floor.  AND NOW THEY HAVE A FUCKING COUNTDOWN CLOCK.  Angle gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Double clothesline spot.  Angle covers for 2, then the time limit expires again at 25:04.  FIVE MORE FUCKING MINUTES.  Angle hammers Hardy with tired, weak looking punches.  Angle charges Hardy and spears the post.  Hardy beats up Angle on the outside again.  Angle is BUSTED WIDE OPEN.  Hardy locks in a Boston crab, which I don’t think he’s ever done before.  Just for the visual of Angle bleeding onto the mat, I guess.  Angle counters into the ankle lock as the clock counts down again.  The time limit expires yet again in 30:05.  Bischoff gets in the ring and calls for the trainer to come down and check Angle’s bloody head.  Bischoff declares the match a no-contest instead of a time limit draw, because he’s retarded.  Shannon Moore comes out to check on Hardy.  Angle is pissed off.  So am I.  There was nothing mechanically wrong with this match, what ruined it was all of the TNA bullshit.

Christy Hemme interviews the Pope.

Tale of the Tape for Pope/Anderson.

TNA World Heavyweight Title Tournament – Semifinal: Ken Anderson vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  They lock up aggressively and wrestle around a bit, then get pissed off at each other and start brawling.  Pope hits an armbreaker, which Taz always calls a flying armbar.  Pope hits a hammerlock backdrop suplex, a move that I always pop for.  Pope works Anderson’s arm.  Pope hits a hammerlock slam for 2.  I love any kind of hammerlock slam or suplex.  Anderson fights back with some clotheslines an elbow smash, then drops Pope with a kick for 2.  Anderson returns the favor from earlier by working Pope’s arm and shoulder.  Anderson keeps the heat on Pope for a while.  Double clothesline spot.  Pope makes his comeback.  Pope goes up top, but Anderson cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  They fight over it.  Pope manages to fight Anderson off and crotch him on the top rope.  Anderson falls to the floor.  Pope hits a diving cross body to the floor.  Back inside, Pope covers for 2.  Pope lowers the knee pads goes for the Codebreaker.  Anderson counters and goes for the Mic Check.  Pope counters again.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap for 2.  Pope hits the Codebreaker for 2.  Pope goes for the Mic Check.  Anderson counters and goes for it, but Pope arm drags him.  Anderson hits the Mic Check for 2.  Pope beats up Anderson in the corner.  Anderson avoids the Elijah Express and hits the Mic Check again for the pin in 17:23.  Pretty decent match, but nothing to write home about.  Anderson makes a paper airplane out of one of Pope’s fake dollar and throws it at him.  Anderson announces himself as the winner and says he’s one match away from being the World Champion.

This show was a mixed bag.  There was some very good, some mediocre, and some very bad.  Guns vs. Gen Me and Styles vs. Dreamer were both actively good.

TNA iMPACT! 9/2/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

In the opening video, they act like putting the guys main eventing the PPV into a tag match on the last TV before the PPV is something unusual and controversial, even thought it’s happened in the build to pretty much every single PPV ever.  Fucking TNA.

“10.10.10.”  No, the title makes no sense at all.

iMPACT! open, pyro and ballyhoo.

Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher come out.  Hogan flaps his gums about whatever, then brings out Ken Anderson, “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, Jeff Hardy, and Kurt Angle.  They’re the 4 dudes in the semifinals of the World Title tournament at the PPV this Sunday.  Bischoff talks about the CONTROVERSY of doing something that every wrestling promotion ever has done a trillion times.  Bischoff must thinks toasting bread with his breakfast is controversial too.  Abyss comes out through the crowd, scares So Cal Val, and gets in the ring.  Hogan and Abyss argue or whatever.  Abyss says “they” isn’t EV2.0 or Fortune.  He says something about 10.10.10, which is the date of Bound For Glory.  Abyss says “they” will arrive and remove Dixie Carter and exterminate everyone in the ring.  Hardy punches Abyss.  Insta-commercials.  Fucking horrible segment.

No Surrender hype video.

A video chronicling whatever the fuck is going on with Beautiful People and a biker chick.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Madison Rayne & the biker chick vs. The Beautiful People (TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love & Velvet Sky).  They all brawl at ringside.  Velvet and Angelina take out the biker chick, then surround Rayne in the ring.  She begs off, but they kick her ass.  They prepare to spank her, but the biker chick wakes up and jumps them.  The match finally starts.  Love stomps Rayne in the vag for 2.  Sky takes in and beats up Rayne.  Sky rams Rayne’s head into the mat for 2.  I hate that shit.  Love tags back in and hits the World’s Strongest Slam, then tags back out.  Love and Sky deck the biker chick, then hit a double suplex on Rayne.  Sky covers, but biker chick saves.  Love spears her and kicks her out of the ring, then stomps her on the outside.  With the referee distracted by Love doing nothing, biker chick hits Sky very lightly with the motorcycle helmet, allowing Rayne to get the pin in 2:28.  Fucking awful.  Rayne and biker chick beat up the BPs some more after the match.  Biker chick unmasks.  To the surprise of absolutely no one, it’s Tara.

Stevie Richards talks to the camera about Abyss.

Abyss video package.

Stevie Richards vs. Abyss.  Abyss comes out through the crowd again.  Richards attacks him on the outside and beats him up a bit.  Abyss catches him with a boot, then throws him in the ring to start the match.  So now, all matches must have outside brawling before the match starts.  Stevie goes on the attack and throws a superkick, but Abyss blocks it and throws him down.  Abyss avalanches Stevie in the corner.  They trade chops.  Abyss pummels Stevie with weak punches, then scares the referee.  Abyss hits a World’s Strongest Slam, then goes outside to retrieve a steel chair.  He looks annoyed because he can’t find his nail board.  The referee fucks with Abyss about the chair.  Stevie superkicks the chair into Abyss’ face for the pin in 2:21!  STEVIE WON A MATCH!  My joy is short lived, as Abyss jumps Stevie immediately afterward and kills him with the Shock Treatment.  EV2.0 and Fortune are being held apart by security backstage.  Mick Foley appears to be injured.  Back in the ring, Abyss gives Stevie the Black Hole Slam.  Abyss tries to use Janice, but Brian Kendrick runs out, hits Abyss with a baseball slide dropkick, and runs away with Stevie.  Random.

Ken Anderson talks to no one in particular about The Pope.  Pope comes in and tells Anderson that he doesn’t buy his face turn.  They have to team together tonight, but they’re not friends.  Ground breaking there, Mr. Russo.

Tonight, tag match!  Plus, Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett.

EV2.0 of Tommy Dreamer, Mick Foley, Sabu, and Rhino are in the ring.  Dreamer calls out Fortune.  Ric Flair, TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Kazarian, Beer Money, Matt Morgan, and TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams come out.  Styles cuts a promo about their various matches at No Surrender.  Dreamer challenges them to an 8-man tag tonight.  Fortune agree.

Jeff Jarrett tries to persuade Samoa Joe to have his back tonight.  Joe blows him off again.

Sting vs. Jarrett is NEXT!

Sting and Kevin Nash talk as they walk through the mess of the backstage area.

Jeff Jarrett talks to no one in particular about how he needs help against Sting and Nash.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting (w/ Kevin Nash).  They lock up.  Jarrett tries to run the ropes and gets tripped by Nash.  Sting beats up Jarrett.  Jarrett fights back.  Nash trips him again.  Jarrett bails and Nash chases him back into the ring.  That was stupid.  Jarrett makes his comeback on Sting, the bails and attacks Nash.  Jarrett tries to fight both Sting and Nash.  Sting gets the better of Jarrett and beats him up on the outside.  Sting throws Jarrett back into the ring.  Jarrett rams Sting’s head into the turnbuckles, then tries to suplex him back into the ring.  Nash trips Jarrett yet again and Sting lands on top for the pin in 3:10.  More crap.  Sting chokes Jarrett with his bat after the match.  Of course, the fearsome and terrifying 50 something year old Hulk Hogan comes out.  Samoa Joe comes in through the crowd to make the save.  He takes out Nash.  Sting tells Joe that he’s in the wrong place at the wrong time, then nothing else happens.  Stupid, stupid shit.

Tonight, Angle & Hardy vs. Anderson & Pope.

Shore!  I don’t know what the fuck it is, but it’s coming soon.  Maybe it’s “they.”

Tenay and Taz hype the No Surrender card.

London Brawling and Chelsea are in the ring.  They’re the #1 Contenders for the tag titles, having beaten a bunch of people on Xplosion, which no one anywhere has ever seen.  Magnus now wears a beret and sunglasses, because the way to be a true heel is to be French.  TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns come out.  Shelley cuts an impassioned promo about how they’re not going to lose to these goons.  Sabin says the Guns are the best team in the universe and the Brits are gay.  Wolfe says they’re not poofs because the have a bird.  What now?  Magnus talks about the Guns’ pubic hair.  Shelley implies that Chelsea isn’t sexually satisfied due to her lack of facial expressions.  He propositions Chelsea.  Sabin says she’s only with them because she needs the money like any call girl.  Wolfe tells her to tell them what a stud he is.  Chelsea implies that Wolfe has a small penis, which naturally pisses  him off.  London Brawling cheap shot the Guns and beat the crap out of them.  They hit a double team move on Shelley, sort of a sidewalk slam/dropkick to the head combo.  They meet for the titles this Sunday!

Tommy Dreamer bitches to EV2.0 backstage.  The doctor says Foley can’t go tonight.  Brian Kendrick comes in and offers his services.  Dreamer tells him not to get involved.  Foley says Kendrick is out of his mind, making him the perfect replacement.  Dreamer says okay, but warns Kendrick that he doesn’t know what he’s getting into.

House show plugs.

Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle chat backstage.

Elimination Match: Fortune of TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Beer Money, & Kazarian (w/ Ric Flair, Matt Morgan, & TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams) vs. EV2.0 of Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Sabu, & Brian Kendrick.  Rhino and Storm lock up.  Rhino scores a knockdown with a shoulder block.  Storm fails a hip toss, buts takes Rhino into the Fortune corner for a beating.  Kazarian tags in and beats up Rhino.  Rhino lands a dropkick, of all things, and makes the tag to Sabu.  Sabu cleans house and hits Kazarian with a sweet springboard DDT for 2.  Styles comes in and gets dropped by Sabu.  Williams trips Sabu from the outside.  Kazarian pins Sabu with an Oklahoma roll in 1:52.  Sabu drops Kazarian, then takes out Williams with a suicide dive.  Sabu and Williams brawl on the aisle.  Dreamer comes in and locks Kazarian in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Styles breaks it.  Kendrick tags in and runs wild on Kazarian.  Kendrick goes for a cross body, but Kazarian catches him with his knees.  Roode tags in and beats up Kendrick.  Kazarian tags back in and does a quick cradle sequence with Kendrick.  Kendrick lands a dropkick for the pin in 4:43.  Styles comes in/  Kendrick takes him down with a Thesz press and chokes him.  Repeat.  Kendrick dropkicks the referee out of the ring.  Clusterfuck brawl ensues.  Mick Foley comes out.  Insta-commercials.  Beer Money double team Dreamer.  Kendrick was DQ’d during the break.  Roode dives at Dreamer, but Dreamer catches him with a boot.  Dreamer hits a spinebuster.  Rhino and Storm tag in.  Rhino runs wild on everybody.  He blocks Storm’s superkick and hits a belly to belly suplex.  Rhino Gores Storm, but Roode saves.  Rhino hits a belly to belly on Roode, then sets up the Gore.  Abyss comes out.  Rhino brawls with him on the outside.  They brawl through the crowd.  Rhino is counted out.  Dreamer is all one against Styles and Beer Money.  Fortune make quick tags and kick the shit out of Dreamer.  Dreamer manages to drop Roode with the DDT for the pin as Styles accidentally hits Storm with the springboard forearm.  Dreamer schoolboys Storm for the pin.  Dreamer and Styles brawl.  Styles goes for the Styles Clash, but Dreamer counters and locks in a crossface.  Styles gets a rope break to save himself.  Dreamer goes for the Spiccoli Driver, but Styles counters and lands a dropkick.  Dreamer avoids a knee drop and goes for the DDT.  Styles counters and locks in the Minoru Special.  Dreamer gets a rope break to save himself.  Styles slams Dreamer and goes up top.  Dreamer cuts him off and hits a superplex.  Dreamer looks at Flair, then goes for the figure-four leglock.  Morgan tries to interfere, but Dreamer cuts him off.  Foley attacks Flair.  Styles hits Dreamer with the Pele kick for the pin (13:39 shown).  Fun match.

Angle & Hardy vs. Pope & Anderson is NEXT!

Ken Anderson & “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Kurt Angle & Jeff Hardy.  Angle hits Pope with a backdrop suplex while Pope and Anderson discuss whatever tag partners who don’t get along discuss.  Angle and Hardy double team Pope, including some old school Hardy Boyz action with the Poetry In Motion.  Hardy hits a corner basement dropkick for 2.  Pope fights back against Hardy, then tags in Anderson.  Hardy hits the leg drop to the balls and the basement dropkick.  Pope comes in and gets kicked down by Hardy.  Anderson decks Hardy for 2.  Pope tags himself in and hits an enzui knee drop for 2.  Pope tags in Anderson again and Anderson slams Hardy for 2.  They’re pretending that Anderson is reluctant to fight Hardy.  Hardy fights out of a rear chin lock.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check, but Hardy blocks it and hits the Twist of Fate.  Angle and Pope tag in.  Angle runs wild with suplexes, then hits the Angle Slam on Pope.  Anderson saves.  Angle slams him too.  Hardy goes for the Whisper In The Wind, but accidentally hits Angle.  Anderson hits Angle with the Mic Check.  Pope covers Angle for the pin in 4:41.  Fine match in spite of TNA bullshit.  Anderson and Pope brawl after the match.  Pope spears Anderson through the ropes to the floor.  Angle and Hardy argue and brawl.  Security breaks up the brawls.

My brain hurt for the first hour or so, but the last 2 matches were pretty fun.

TNA iMPACT! 8/26/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2010 by Grappleholic

Video of recent happenings.

Eric Bischoff and Dixie Carter talk backstage.  Dixie is going to handle some business tonight.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Dixie Carter comes out to her fucking music.  This show already sucks.  She babbles about he TNA is a cult that will not die no matter how much it needs to, then calls out Ric Flair.  Flair styles and profiles and looks as ONLY he can look on his way to the ring.  Flair hits on Dixie.  Dixie talks about whatever, then suspends Flair for 90 days.  Flair asks if Fortune is suspended too.  Dixie says no.  Flair says they’re one in the same.  The rest of Fortune come out: TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, TNA X Division Champion Doug Willams, Matt Morgan, Kazarian, and Beer Money.  Flair says they’re the best.  Dixie says they were hers first, or something.  Dixie reiterates that Flair is gone for 90 days, but Fortune will continue wrestling.  Flair gets mad and wants to fight.  Some dude jumps in the ring.  Taz says he’s Dixie’s husband Surge.  Fortune beat him up.  Hulk Hogan comes out along with Kurt Angle, The Pope, Ken Anderson, and Jeff Hardy.  Hogan tells Flair to make his boys let Surge go.  Flair threatens to shove Angle’s gold medal up his ass.  Angle and Dixie help Surge to the back.  Hogan and his dudes get in the ring.  Hogan unsuspends Flair.  Well what was the fucking point of all of this bullshit then?  Hogan and Flair bicker.  Hogan books an 8-man tag between his dudes and Fortune.  Flair is pissed.  EV2.0 guys (Mick Foley, Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, The FBI, Rhino, and Stevie Richards) come out and brawl with Fortune.  Insta-commercials.  This would have been a good segment without all of the TNA bullshit.

Moments ago, that shit I just wrote happened.

Kurt Angle talks to nobody in particular while Pope, Anderson, and Hardy stand around him.  Why do they do this stupid shit?  TNA used to actually be better about the invisible camera bullshit.

Orlando Jordan vs. Samoa Joe.  Jordan is wearing a Joe action figure as a necklace.  He does lewd things to So Cal Val with it.  Joe comes out and kicks Jordan’s ass.  Joe goes for the Choke.  Orlando hits the corner to break, then grinds on Joe.  The announcers casually mention that Fortune is Abyss’ “They.”  Jordan beats up Joe a bit, then licks the action figure.  Joe makes his comeback and kills a bitch.  Joe hits an Exploder and the Muscle Buster for the pin in 2:29.  Not a bad little TV match.  It’s good to see Joe back killing fuckers.  Jeff Jarrett comes out.  Insta-commercials.

Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe are still in the ring.  Jarrett talks about bring Joe into TNA 5 years ago.  He asks Joe to be in his corner when he faces Kevin Nash tonight in case Sting interferes.  Joe says he doesn’t choose sides.  He’s on his own team.  Joe leaves.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash.  In 2010.  Nash throws a chair into the ring, then pulls Jarrett out of the ring.  Nash whips Jarrett over the barricade, then rams him into the ring apron.  Finally inside, Nash beats up Jarrett.  Nash brings in the chair, which the referee immediately takes away.  Nash exposes a turnbuckle and goes for the Snake Eyes.  Jarrett slips back and sends Nash into it, then makes his comeback.  Jarrett his Nash with a diving punch, then dives again and gets goozled.  Jarrett fights it, but gets thrown into the exposed turnbuckle, then chokeslammed for a very close 2.  Jarrett jumps on Nash’s back and locks in a sleeper hold.  Nash backs Jarrett into the referee in the corner with the exposed turnbuckle.  Jarrett counters Snake Eyes again, then hits the Stroke, but the referee is taking a nap.  Sting comes in and attacks Jarrett with the bat.  Nash covers for the pin in 5:05.  Not a bad little match.  Sting wants to do some more damage to Jarrett.  Eric Bischoff comes out (to Hogan’s music for some reason) and rips into Sting.  Sting says he wants Hogan.  Bischoff says Hogan is busy.  Sting chokes Jarrett with the bat.  Bischoff makes Hogan out to be a big scary monster.  In 2010.  Hogan appears behind Sting and hits him with a chair, then runs Nash out of the ring with the bat.  The match was fine.  The post-match bullshit was, well, TNA bullshit.

Hulk Hogan talks to Tommy Dreamer backstage.  Hogan asks him to back off of Fortune for the night, but asks him to deal with Abyss by hacking his limbs off, apparently.  Dreamer is fine with this.

Beer Money vs. The FBI.  Jobber entrances for the FBI.  Beer Money immediately beat the fuck out of them.  The FBI get double teamed into oblivion.  It finally breaks down into a tag match.  Beer Money double team Guido more anyway.  Roode decks Luke to knock him off the apron.  Guido fights back against Roode, but fails to accomplish anything.  Guido gets an inside cradle for 2.  Guido gets away and makes the hot tag to Luke.  Roode immediately hits the spinebuster and tags in Storm.  Beer Money hit the DWI on Luke and Storm gets the pin in 2:31.  Guido tries to attack, so Storm hits him with the beer bottle.  Storm superkicks Luke to death, then cuts up Guido with the class it looks like.  Beer Money give Guido the DWI.  The FBI got squashed big time.  They must be on their way out.

Big 8-man tag TONIGHT!

The ORIGINAL Beautiful People are headed our way!

Tommy Dreamer tells what’s left of EV2.0 that Abyss needs to be taken care of.  Stevie Richards volunteers.  Seriously?  You’re gonna send STEVIE?  I love Stevie, but come on!

TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love and Velvet Sky come out and talk about how they’re friends again.  Madison Rayne and the biker chick come out.  Rayne threatens to sue them for using her music and the Beautiful People name, which is kind of funny because it was theirs first.  She says she’s all natural unlock those “two silicone whores.”  She babbles on about whatever PMSing bitches babble on about.  She says Velvet is her little bitch.  Velvet takes her down and all 4 get into a big brawl.  Security breaks it up.  Gunner and Murphy overdo it as usual.

The Motor City Machine Guns talk backstage, then play Rock Band.

Earlier today Magnus, Desmond Wolfe, and Chelsea went clothes shopping.  Oh, so that’s what they do now.  They’re rich now.  They must be running drugs on the side, because they’re not making any money in TNA.  Chelsea ends up with Magnus’ credit card.  Also, they’re now called London Brawling.  Awesome name.

Non-Title: Generation Me vs. TNA World Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns.  Jeremy and Sabin start.  Good stuff there as usual.  Jeremy goes for some quick pinning combinations.  Max tags in and they double team Sabin.  Shelley saves.  Shelley tags in and the Guns double team Max.  Shelley applies a half crab while stepping on Max’s face.  Sabin tags in and hits a flippy fist drop for 2.  Sabin throws Max into Shelley’s boot, then makes the tag.  Shelley goes for quick covers on Max.  Shelley holds Max in a cravat.  Max fights back.  Sabin tags in for more Guns double teaming, but Max avoids it and sends Shelley outside.  Max rolls thrown on Sabin, then makes the hot tag to Jeremy.  Jeremy runs wild and hits a springboard facebuster on Shelley for 2.  After some weird dancing with Max, Jeremy hits a sweet Asai moonsault to the Guns on the outside.  Max spears Sabin.  Bucks hit a double team splash thingy on Sabin for 2.  Lots of stuff is happening.  Bucks go for the More Bang For Your Buck, but Sabin gets his knees up.  Stuff happens.  Shelley hits the Shiranui on Jeremy.  Guns hit the neckbreaker/splash combo on Max and Sabin gets the pin in 6:03.  Good little match.

Tonight, 8-man tag!

Live event plugs.

Ric Flair yells at Hulk Hogan, who is not present to be yelled at.  I hate this bullshit.  Sting appears and chokes Sting with the bat.  He says he and Nash are have a score to settle with Flair and Fortune.

Shore… coming soon.  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot was that?

Tenay and Taz hype the No Surrender card.

Out in the parking garage, Stevie Richards is beating up Abyss.  Abyss beats up Stevie in return.  Abyss swings the nail board, but of course Stevie avoids it.  They brawl some more.  Abyss wins the fight.  Insta-commercials.

Rhino gets in the ring and calls out Abyss.  Abyss comes out with the nail board.  Rhino attacks Abyss and goes for the Gore, but Abyss catches him with a boot.  They brawl around the arena some more.  Rhino hits the Gore to win the fight.  Never send a Stevie to do a Rhino’s job.

AJ Styles yells at no one in particular while Fortune stands behind him.

Fortune of TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams, Kazarian, & Matt Morgan (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, & Ken Anderson.  Anderson and Kazarian lock up and trade arm lock.  Kazarian slaps him and grabs a side headlock, then scores the knockdown with the shoulder block.  Anderson hits a hip toss and a body slam.  Pope and Styles tag in.  Pope gets rolling with a flying forearm and some Bionic elbows for 2.  Styles gets Pope in the Fortune corner where they beat him him.  Fortune make quick tags and work over Pope.  Morgan tags in and asks for Hardy.  Pope obliges with the tag.  Hardy tries a go behind, then gets dropped with an elbow smash.  Hardy avoids Morgan in the corner and hits some horrible punches and a dropkick.  Styles trips Hardy from the outside.  Hardy rallies, but gets derailed by Morgan.  Styles tags in and slams Hardy, then hits a big knee drop for 2.  Morgan tags back in and hits the revolving elbows in the corner.  Morgan hits a big vertical suplex for 2.  Williams tags in and beats up Hardy.  Flair trips Hardy from the outside.  Pope gets mad and distracts the referee to let Flair get in his cheap shots.  Styles provokes Anderson to continue the distract.  Back inside, Williams hits a knee drop on Hardy for 2.  Fortune go back to making the quick tags while working over Hardy.  Hardy drops Williams with a shitty clothesline.  Kazarian and Angle tag in.  Angle runs wild because he’s Kurt Angle and he’s fucking awesome.  Angle suplexes fuckers, then locks Kazarian in the ankle lock.  Styles hits Angle with the springboard forearm.  Clusterfuck ensues as everybody comes in and hits their big moves.  Pope blind tags himself in.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Kazarian.  Pope steals Angle’s pin to win it in 8:49.  Good match.  Pope and Angle argue.  Fortune attack.  Beer Money run out to join the fight.  Storm and Styles set up a table.  Tommy Dreamer and Sabu run out to make the save.  Mick Foley comes out and beats up Flair.  Sabu throws a chair at Williams, then puts him through the table with a half assed Atomic Arabian Skull Crusher.  Do they not know any other way to end this show than in a big clusterfuck brawl?

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the show was actually pretty good.  Of course, this is TNA and you have to grade them on a curve.