Archive for No Holds Barred Match

WWE Extreme Rules 2009 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, followed by the PPV intro video.  Michael Cole welcomes us to the show as Lillian Garcia introduces the first match.

Fatal Four-Way Match for WWE United States Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Cole and Lawler are on commentary, and put over Kingston beating MVP for the title this past Monday on Raw.  Typical double team/pair off and brawl stuff early on.  Kofi is awesome.  Cole gets in his “Controlled Frenzy” for the night.  Regal beats the shit out of Kingston, which is always good stuff.  Regal sets up a butterfly suplex on Kofi.  MVP tries to turn it into a Tower of Doom spot, but they botch it.  Kofi and Regal still take the bump, though.  Hardy comes in fresh after staying outside for a bit and tries to pin everyone.  Everyone kicks out.  Matt sets up the Twist of Fate on MVP, but Kofi gets back in the action and punishes Regal and Hardy.  Regal counters the Trouble In Paradise and T-bones Kofi right into Hardy, which Kofi uses to get a near fall.  The match turns into everybody hitting big moves and covering, then someone else breaking up the cover.  Regal hits Exploders on everyone until Kingston catches him the Trouble In Paradise for the pin at 6:42.  Short, but fun and exciting match, and a good way to kick off the show.

Josh Matthews interviews The Big Show, who says John Cena can’t put him in the STF.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham talk about the recent issues between Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio.  Justin Roberts is in the ring to introduce the match.  He introduces Jericho, but Jericho doesn’t come out.  He’s in the merchanidise stand bitching about Mysterio’s merchanidise.  He comes down to the ring through the crowd, talking the whole way.  Mysterio comes out, so now we can have our match.  Ross says that Mysterio is the first masked Intercontinental Champion.  Kane says hello.

No Holds Barred Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  Mysterio jumps Jericho at the bell and kicks his ass all around the ringside area.  Rey hits a sweet rana off the apron and takes the match in the ring.  Jericho gets the advantage and holds it until Mysterio counters his springboard dropkick to the apron.  Rey hits a 619 around the ringpost to send Jericho off the apron and hits a diving splash on to him.  Back in the ring. Jericho avoids the 619.  Rey gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Jericho rolls it back for one of his own.  Rey rolls through a sunset flip attempt and tries a dropkick, but Jericho catches and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Rey turns it into a inside cradle, but can’t get the pin.  Jericho gets the advantage and goes for Rey’s mask.  Rey escapes, then avoids a charging Jericho, who spears the ring post and goes outside.  Rey hits a tope suicida.  Rey does his Speedy Gonzales routine back in the ring.  Jericho avoids the 619 again and does a swank spinning backbreaker for a near fall.  Rey avoids the Lionsault and hits the 619.  He goes for a diving something or other, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker for a very near fall.  Jericho brings a chair into the ring, but Mysterio dropkicks into his face and covers for a near fall.  Mysterio hits a leg drop with the chair for another near fall, then sets the chair up in the corner and hits a drop toehold onto it.  Mysterio uses the chair as a springboard for a Frankensteiner, but Jericho turns it into the Walls of Jericho.  Mysterio nails him with the chair and goes for the 619, but Jericho manages to yank his mask off.  Mysterio desperately covers his face and allows himself to be pinned with a schoolboy in 14:40, even though anyone who watched WCW from 1999 to 2001 has seen his face.  Jericho wins the Intercontinental Title for the unprecendented 9th time.  Good match.

Randy Savage DVD available this Tuesday!

New Orleans!

Josh Matthews interviews Batista.  Actually, they show the video of Randy Orton killing Ric Flair, then Batista comments on it.  He’s going to do various nasty things to Orton tonight.

Samoan Strap Match: Umaga vs. CM Punk. They show Umaga killing Punk on Smackdown a few weeks ago.  You win here by touching all four corners in succession… secession?  You know what I mean.  Umaga whips Punk with the strap and punishes him in various other nasty ways.  How the hell do you do PBP on a Strap Match?  “He whips the other guy, he uses the strap to hold the other guy back…”  Punk fights back and goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but doesn’t get it.  They both get near falls (I.E. touching 3 turnbuckles but being prevented from touching the fourth.  Umaga goes for the diving splash, but Punk uses the strap to pull him off the top rope.   Punk touches 3 corners, hits the Go 2 Sleep, and touches the fourth for the win at 8:58.  Meh.  Strap matches are kind of a stupid gimmick.

New Orleans again!

Matt Striker and Josh Matthews are ready to announce the ECW Championship match!

Gregory Helms interviews the ECW Champion, Christian.  Christian says he’s going to miss Tommy Dreamer, because he’s not losing his title.  Dreamer comes up and says Christian will indeed be losing the title.  Jack Swagger steps in to say his bit, but Dreamer and Christian leave.  Cut to Tony Chimel who is in the ring to introduce the match.

Triple Threat Hardcore Match for the ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger.  They get in-ring introductions.  They brawl a bit, then Christian and Dreamer bring the plunder in.  Dreamer utilizes the Singapore cane to great effect.  Dreamer is in his element here, and shows why he is called the Innovator of Violence.  Swagger finally gets the advantage on Dreamer and tries to superplex him into a pile of trashcans.  Christian comes in and adds a powerbomb to the equation.  I guess they had to do it since the guys in the four-way fucked up the Tower of Doom spot.  Christian ducks a crutch shot from Swagger and goes for the Killswitch.  Swagger counters and goes for the Doctor Bomb.  Dreamer nails Swagger with the crutch to break it, then bashes him with it again and hits a DDT.  Dreamer covers and gets the pin on Swagger at 9:37 to WIN THE ECW CHAMPIONSHIP!  With no Justin Credible to fuck up the moment. Tommy Dreamer finally gets to enjoy capturing the ECW Championship.  That’s my feel good markout moment of the night.

Chavo Guerrero prepare Vickie for her defense of the Miss WrestleMania crown.  Michael Cole talks about it for a bit, then throws it to Jerry Lawler, who is with the pigs.  “Santina” comes out, followed by Vickie, who says she’s making the match a Handicap Match.  A less than delighted Chavo will be her partner.

Handicap Hog Pen Match for the Miss WrestleMania Crown: Vickie Guerrero (c) & Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Santina Marella.  Vickie sends Chavo in to fight while she stays outside in her gown.  Santina and Chavo fight in the muck.  Santina throws Chavo into the pen with the hogs.  Shouldn’t the match be over?  I guess it’s pinfall only.  Santina schoolgirls Chavo for a near fall.  Chavo beats down Santina and tags in Vickie.  Santina tries to slop her, but Chavo jumps him and tries to slop him.  He misses and slops Vickie.  Santina slops Chavo, then pins Vickie for the win at 2:43 to become Miss WrestleMania again.  Gross.  -50 stars.

SummerSlam, August 23 on PPV!

Orton/Batista video package.

Chavo and Vickie walk backstage while everyone in the vicinity holds their nose.  Goldust and Hornswoggle show up to bring the comedy, then run away from the smell.  They find Edge in Vickie’s office.  Vickie tells Edge he’s on his own tonight.  Edge says he wants a divorce.  Poor Vickie.  Divorces are no fun at all, and I don’t imagine being covered in pig shit is either.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista.  In-ring intros, and we’re off!  Orton tries to escape immediately, but Batista stops him and goes to work kicking his ass.  Orton avoids a charge and tries to escape again.  Rinse, repeat.  Orton counters the Batista Bomb and tries to escape again, but then decided to go for the punt instead.  Batista avoids it.  Orton avoids the Batista Bomb again.  Batista avoids the RKO.  Batista hits the Batista Bomb for the pin at 7:03.  Seriously?  That’s it?  Ah well, at least it was too short to suck.  Fun fact: this is the first time the WWE Championship has changed hands in a Steel Cage match.

Show/Cena video package.

Submission Match:
The Big Show vs. John Cena.  The whole basis of this match is that Show is too big for Cena to put in the STF.  Of course, he goes for it in the first minute and fails.  Of all the Cena/Show matches… this is one of them.  Same old shit, except with more sleeper holds.  About 10 minutes in, Cena avoids the Vader Bomb and tries to slam Show.  Show lands on top and hugs Cena, which is apparently a submission hold.  Show beats up Cena some more and locks in an abdominal stretch.  Cena counters a chokeslam attempt with a DDT and tries the STF again.  He still doesn’t get it.  Show locks in a bearhug.  Cena escapes and drops Show with a neckbreaker.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show goes for the chokeslam, but Cena avoids it and hits the Attitude Adjustment.  STF fails again.  Show lands the KO punch and knocks Cena out of the ring.  Show goes out and picks him him, but Cena slips off and sends Show into the ring post.  Back in the ring, Cena misses a diving leg drop, then props up one of show’s legs against the ropes and locks in a crossface.  The leg doesn’t stay.  Show submits to this half assed STF at 19:05, even though Show’s feet were under the ropes.  Fucking retarded.

Edge/Hardy video package.

Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  In-ring intros.  There are dozens of ladders placed around the ring.  First ouch moment comes 3 minutes in when Jeff backdrops Edge out of the ring and chest first onto a ladder.  Jeff makes the first attempt to climb up to the big gold belt, but Edge stops him, then drops him painfully on the ladder.  That’s one cheap aluminum ladder ruined.  Edge brings in another and sets it in a corner.  Jeff avoids a charging Edge, who spears the ladder.  Match goes on.  Edge creatively sandwiches Jeff in the ladder and locks in a Sharpshooter.  Later, Edge takes a painful front suplex into an open ladder.  Lots of creative painful looking things in this match.  Hardy brings in a really tall ladder.  He hits the Twist of Fate, then goes up the tall ladder with the intent of diving off.  Edge moves out of the way.  The ladder falls over but Jeff grabs hold of the belt.  Edge pulls him down before Jeff can take the belt down.  Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind off the ladder.  The carnage continues.  They take a huge bump off a ladder at ringside through another one set up on the ring apron and guardrail.  Back in the ring, Hardy climbs for the belt.  Edge climbs another ladder and tries to spear Hardy, but gets caught with a neckbreaker in mid air.  Hardy goes for the gold again.  Edge climbs up the other side and punches Hardy down.  Hardy pulls Edge’s legs through the ladder to trap him.  Edge can do nothing but look on as Hardy pulls the belt down and becomes World Heavyweight Champion at 20:06.  Pretty damn good ladder match.

But wait, it’s not over!  CM Punk comes down and cashes in the Money In The Bank contract!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk.  Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep for the 1, 2, HARDY KICKS OUT!  Punk can’t believe it.  Hardy gets a quick inside cradle, but Punk kicks out.  Punk nails a big kick and hits the Go 2 Sleep again and pins Hardy to win the title at 1:02.  PUNK IS WORLD CHAMPION!

Pretty good show for the most part.  Punk and Dreamer winning the gold makes me happy.

Advertisements

WWE No Way Out 2009 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, followed by a video package hyping the top matches tonight.

Jim Ross welcomes us LIVE to Seattle, Washington.  I’m sure Tazz is somewhere around there too.  Now we’re ready to kick off with the Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship!  Really?  That’s strange.  Don’t worry kids, it will all make sense later on.

Undertaker comes out first.  I might be wrong, but I don’t think Undertaker has ever been the first guy through the curtain on a PPV before.  The other five follow, and we’re ready for the biggest PPV opening match ever.

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship: Edge (c) vs. Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy.  Edge and Hardy start.  Jeff uses his speed to get the better of Edge at first, but Edge slows him down and beats on him.  Jeff comes back and hits the Twist of Fate, but missing the Swanton.  Edge sets up for the spear, but Jeff catches him with an inside cradle and pins him at 3:03.  Triple H and Show laugh at him from their chambers.  Kozlov is the first guy released, and he proceeds to give Jeff a beating.  Jeff fights back and hits the Whisper In The Wind, then Big Show is released from his chamber.  Show and Kozlov take turns slamming Hardy.  Hardy tries to fight back, but Show headbutts him to the mat and the beating continues.  Kozlov and Show finally give Jeff a rest when they start beating on each other.  Triple H is released from his chamber and cleans house on both of the big slugs.  Hardy tries to attack Triple H, but gets his ass kicked again.  Triple H teases Pedigreeing Kozlov on the steel floor of the chamber outside the ring, but Show prevents it and goes to work on Triple H as Kozlov beats up Jeff.  Triple H and Hardy unite to double suplex Kozlov, then start fighting each other.  A Whisper In The Wind leaves both of them down as Undertaker is released.  Undertaker hammers Show with punches, then destroys Kozlov.  He teases a double chokeslam on Triple H and Hardy, but Show stops it.  Taker drops him with a big clothesline for his trouble.  Undertaker goes for the Old School on Triple H, but instead dives onto Show outside the ring.  Undertaker hits a crazy DDT/suplex type thing on Show on the steel floor.  Undertaker goes for the Old School on Triple H again, but Kozlov attacks him and hammers him in the corner with punches.  Bad idea.  Taker hits the Last Ride out of the corner to eliminate Kozlov at 23:00.  Show chokeslams Taker.  Triple H sets up Show for the Pedigree, but gets backdropped out of the ring onto the steel.  Show press slams Jeff into Triple H.  Jeff climbs up to the top of one of the internal chambers.  Show climbs up the ropes to go after him, but Taker hits a superplex on Show!  The last time someone did that, the ring broke.  Triple H hits the Pedigree on Show.  Jeff follows with the Swanton off of the chamber.  Triple H pins Show at 26:14.  Jeff misses the Whisper In The Wind on Taker.  Triple H and Taker go at it until Taker tosses Triple H out of the ring.  Undertaker goes for the Old School on Hardy, but Triple H pulls the rope, causing Undertaker to crotch himself.  Hardy uses Undertaker as a catapult to hit the Poetry In Motion on Triple H.  Undertaker hits the Tombstone on Jeff to eliminate him at 28:32.  It’s down to two now.  Undertaker hammers Triple H with punches and headbutts.  Triple H ducks Taker’s running big boot in the corner.  Triple H dives at Taker, but Taker hits a chokeslam for a very near fall.  Triple H hits the spinebuster for a near fall of his own.  Fair warning, “near fall” will be used a lot in the next few minutes.  Triple H teases the Pedigree on the steel floor again, but Taker catapults him into the Chamber.  In the ring, Taker hits the Tombstone for the one, two, Triple H gets his foot on the bottom rope!  At least he didn’t kick out of it.  Triple H hits the Pedigree for the wi… no!  Taker kicks out!  They trade punches.  Triple H punches Taker in the corner.  Will he ever learn?  Taker goes for the Last Ride out of the corner, but Triple H slips out of it and hits the Pedigree for the win at 36:00 to capture his 13th World Title.  Really good match, with the Taker/Triple H finale being particularly good.  Triple H celebrates with his gold.  I’m glad he won.  Taker with the spinner belt would have been too strange a site.

Edge makes all kinds of excuses to Vickie Guerrero as to why he lost.  He wants Vickie to do something about it.  Vickie says it’s his fault, then apologizes.  Vickie tries to console Edge.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler take over the commentary duties for the next match.

Shane McMahon/Randy Orton video package.

Orton has words for Shane before their match.  He says something about making Shane cry tonight while Vince watches on TV.

No Holds Barred Match: Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon.  Shane hits quick punches on Orton, then Orton beats on him a bit until Shane sends Orton out of the ring and hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Shane pulls some plunder from beneath the ring.  Orton finally gets the advantage on the devastating force that is Shane McMahon.  Shane wails on Orton with a Singapore cane, then politely clears off the announce table.  Shane nails Orton with one of the monitors, leaving a nasty cut.  He puts Orton on the announce table and sets up for the leap of faith, but Legacy runs in and attacks Shane.  Super Shane fights back and disposes of Dibiase, then hits the Van Terminator on Rhodes.  Shane finally goes for the leap of faith, but Orton moves and Shane crashes through the announce table.  Orton orders Dibiase to help Rhodes backstage.  Shane makes his way back to the ring to take Orton’s sick DDT off the ropes.  Orton superplexes Shane through a table.  Orton, bleeding from the earlier shot, sets up for the punt of death, but Shane spears him.  Shane hits Orton with nasty chair shots.  Shane sets up Orton for the punt, but Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere for the win at 18:16.  I liked the match better this time than the first time I saw it, but Shane was still booked way too strong against the guy they’re trying to build for their biggest show of the year.

WrestleMania hype.

Matt Striker and Todd Grisham take over commentary duties for the next match.

ECW Championship Match: Jack Swagger (c) vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Finlay works on Swagger’s legs early on.  Swagger responds by working on Finlay’s arm.  Pretty basic match.  Swagger pushes Finlay into Hornswoggle, then hits the Doctor Bomb for the win at 7:59.  Not much to it.  It wasn’t a bad match, but it was sandwiched dead between all the matches that mattered, and the crowd didn’t give a shit.

Lawler and Cole tell us that Shane has been taken to the hospital, and Stephanie went with him.

Shawn Michaels prays backstage, then puts on his cowboy hat and heads to the ring.  Michaels/JBL video package.

JBL vs. Shawn Michaels.  If Michaels wins, he’s free and gets all the money JBL owes him.  If JBL wins, he owns Michaels for ever.  Michaels’ wife, Rebecca, is in the front row.  They lock up.  JBL backs Michaels into the corner and warns him that all he needs is for Michaels to make one mistake for JBL to own him forever.  Michaels blasts JBL with a flurry of punches.  They brawl around ringside, then slide back into the ring, where JBL gets the advantage.  Shawn puts JBL in the Crossface, but JBL rolls through it and gets a near fall.  Hey, it worked at WrestleMania 22.  JBL beats up Michaels for a while.  JBL sets up a superplex, but Michaels pushes him down and misses the diving elbow drop.  JBL nails the Clothesline From Hell, but Michaels kicked out.  Damn, I always thought of that as a killer finish.  JBL nails another one, then nudges Michaels with his foot to send him out of the ring.  Michaels barely beats the count back in.  JBL throws him out again and goes over to taunt Shawn’s wife.  Rebecca slugs him and Michaels gets his second wind.  Michaels kicks JBL’s ass and blasts him with the superkick for the win at 13:18.  The match was okay-ish.  It was all about the storyline, which nobody buys, so that hurt the crowd reaction.  Shawn leaves with his wife.

WrestleMania hype.

Todd Grisham interviews Chris Jericho.  Jericho says he’s going to win the title tonight, then challenge Ric Flair to come out of retirement and face him for the title.  Then he says that’s not true.

Cole and Lawler put over Triple H winning the WWE Championship earlier tonight, and say that 67% of the time the title changes hands when it’s defended in the Elimination Chamber.  Doesn’t look good for John Cena.  It’s main event time.

Cena enters first, followed by Knox, then Kane.  As Kofi Kingston makes his way to the ring, Edge jumps him from behind.  Edge rams Kofi into the steps, then bashes Kofi with a chair, creating a Conchairto effect with the steps.  Mysterio forgoes his entrance music to run out and check on Kofi.  Meanwhile, Edge locks himself in one of the chambers.  Mysterio tries to get to him, but the glass is “unbreakable.”  Jericho comes out next.  Mysterio and Jericho are going to start the match.  Good choice.

Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:
John Cena (c) vs. Mike Knox vs. Kane vs. Edge vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Jericho.  Mysterio and Jericho start with an awesome speedy exchange.  Jericho dodges a 619 attempt,  but Mysterio flips over the ropes and they crash into the steel floor.  Those bumps have to hurt like hell.  Jericho dodges a charging Mysterio and sends him headfirst into the plexiglass chamber housing Kane.  It made a big noise, and I bet it hurt.  Mysterio hits a cool rana off the Chamber wall, then hits the Bombs Away for a near fall.  Kane is the first guy released.  He nails Mysterio and Jericho, then taunts Edge.  Jericho tries to put him down with a sleeper, but gets put down himself.  Kane continues to beat on both of them.  Mysterio fights back and takes Kane down briefly, but gets beat on some more.  Jericho misses a Lionsault on Kane and gets blasted with a big boot for his trouble.  Mysterio goes for the 619 on Jericho, but Kane catches him and goes for the chokeslam.  Rey hits a Frankensteiner out of it and hits the 619.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Kane.  Mysterio sends Jericho out of the ring and hits the Bombs Away off the chamber to eliminate Kane at 9:39.  Knox is released next.  Too bad Kane didn’t last longer, he and Knox working together would have been good stuff if that tag match on Raw a few weeks ago is any indication.  Knox, the fresh man, goes to work on Mysterio and Jericho.  Knox beats the hell out of both of them and goes for his finish on Mysterio, but Jericho hits the Codebreaker out of nowhere and pins Knox at 14:43.  Edge’s chamber opens next.  Mysterio jumps him before he can come out.  Mysterio wails on Edge until Jericho nails him.  Jericho’s asshole heel facial expressions are fantastic.  Jericho beats up Mysterio and goes for the Lionsault, but Mysterio gets his knees up.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on Jericho for a two count.  Edge goes for the spear, but Mysterio leapfrogs him.  Jericho goes for the Codebreaker but Edge holds on to the ropes.  Stuff happens too fast to type.  They do a tower of doom spot in the corner.  Edge throws Jericho out of the ring onto the steel floor of the chamber.  Ouch.  Cena is the last man released.  He’s FIRED UP! and cleans house on Edge and Jericho.  Jericho sets up Edge for whatever that move is called this week, but Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cena.  Mysterio hits the 619, then Edge spears Cena to eliminate him at 22:21.  Mysterio hits a 619 on Jericho.  Jericho counters a Bombs Away attempt and goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Mysterio counters it into a cradle and pins him at 23:54.  Mysterio dodges a spear attempt and schoolboys Edge for a very near fall.  Mysterio hits a springboard cross body for another near fall.  Edge attempts a sunset flip, but Rey rolls through a blasts him with a kick for yet another two count.  Rey hits a swank DDT and ALMOST wins it again.  Mysterio hits a facebuster on the steel floor.  Ouch.  He follows with a 619, then takes a nasty bump into one of the chambers, breaking the unbreakable plexiglass.  Edge spears Mysterio for the win at 29:47 to win the title.  So Edge loses the WWE Championship in the opening Elimination Chamber match and wins the World Heavyweight Championship in the closing Elimination Chamber match.  Edge celebrates with the belt as they show replays.

Good show.  Some stuff in the middle wasn’t interesting, but the Chamber matches were great.  Wrestler of the night honors go to Mysterio, who was really great in the main event.  He worked his ass off and took some nasty bumps.

WrestleMania 25, live April 5th on PPV!

WWE Night of Champions 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Night of Champions open, Paper Jamz presents Night of Champions!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers LIVE from Chicago!  Well, Rosemont anyway.  Justin Roberts and Tony Chimel are the ring announcers.

Tony Chimel starts to introduce the first match, but Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlyn come out because at least 2 shows per week must begin with Vickie being obnoxious.  She introduces her man, the Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Kaitlyn) vs. Kofi Kingston.  Ziggler can lose the title by count-out or DQ.  They lock up.  Crowd is very pro-Kofi.  Kofi gets a takedown.  Ziggler responds in kind.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Ziggler falls on his ass to avoid it.  Kofi clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring.  Kaitlyn checks on Ziggler, which draws the ire of Vickie.  Vickie sends Kaitlyn to the back.  Ziggler beats the count back into the ring and argues with the referee.  Kofi schoolboys him for 2.  Kofi lands some chops and a dropkick.  Ziggler avoids the pounce in the corner that leads to Kofi’s corner punches.  Ziggler covers for 2.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Kofi fights out and hits a flying forearm.  Ziggler boots Kofi in the face for 2.  Ziggler hits an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock with a body scissors.  Ziggler hits something for 2, then the Perfect neck snap and a prawn hold for 2 more.  Lawler brings up Dolph’s old gimmick of introducing himself to every one.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler keeps the heat on Kofi.  Elbow drop to the back of the head gets 2 for Ziggler.  Kofi fights out of another rear chin lock and pummels Ziggler with punches.  The referee breaks it up.  Ziggler avoids Kofi in the corner.  Kofi hits the rebound kick and a diving cross body for 2.  Ziggler took that one like a man.  Kofi gets his offense rolling.  They counter each other, then Kofi hits a Thesz press and some mounted punches.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and signals for the Trouble In Paradise.  Ziggler ducks it and goes for the sleeper, but Kofi counts out.  Kofi hits the S.O.S., but Ziggler gets to the ropes to save his title.  Ziggler bails.  Kofi hits him with a dive off the apron and pounds on him.  Kofi rolls Ziggler back into the ring for 2.  Kofi goes for the S.O.S. again, but Ziggler counters and locks in the sleeper hold.  Kofi gets to his feet and powers out of the sleeper, then locks it on Dolph!  Dolph hits the ropes to escape.  Vickie thinks about slapping Kofi, but Dolph tells her not to, because he’ll lose the title by DQ.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Dolph avoids it and hits the Zig Zag for the pin in 12:42.  Good match.  Dolph and Vickie celebrate.

Paper Jamz commercial featuring The Miz.

Todd Grisham interviews Edge, who says he will win the WWE Championship tonight.

Chicago!  Man, the Night of Champions music is so epic.

CM Punk comes out and cuts a promo.  Chicago loves their boy.  He talks about how much he loves Chicago, then turns on the crowd to make sure he’s the heel in the match.

CM Punk vs. The Big Show.  Punk throws some kicks.  Show headbutts him.  Punk lands a dropkick.  Show, hardly effected, beats up Punk some more.  Show hits the BIG CHOP and sends Punk out of the ring.  Show follows him out and Punk hits Show with a knee strike from the apron.  Punk hits a slingshot hilo from the inside the ring to the floor!  Back inside, Punk beats on Show.  Show hits him hard in the middle.  Punk hits a diving elbow smash for a 0, a 0, and a 1.  Punk beats Shown down, but can’t hold him down for a pin.  Punk goes for the springboard lariat, but Show cuts him down with the SHOW SPEAR!  Show lands the KO punch for the pin in 4:44.  Fun little match.

Josh Matthews interviews Chris Jericho, who also plans on winning the WWE Championship tonight.

Some National Guard soldiers are in the house!

Miz/Daniel Bryan video package.

WWE United States Championship Match: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Daniel Bryan.  Miz runs away to avoid being taken down, then scores a shoulder block.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock.  Miz bails and consults with Riley.  Back inside, Bryan hits an arm drag.  Bryan totally whiffs a kick for 1 as the announcers talk about Farmer Burns and Gene LeBell.  Miz pulls Bryan’s arm over the top rope to get the advantage.  Miz works Bryan’s arm.  Miz hits a hammerlock backdrop suplex for 2.  I love that move.  Miz continues cranking on Bryan’s arms.  Bryan gets a backslide for 2.  Miz boots Bryan in the face, then pounds on his shoulder.  Riley stretches Bryan’s arm behind the referee’s back.  Miz hits some arm stunners.  Bryan flips back and lands some forearms.  Miz hits a shoulder breaker for 2.  Miz kicks Bryan to the outside to further injure his arm, then rolls him back inside to cover for 2.  Bryan lands some more forearms and gets booted on the arm.  Miz charges, but Bryan sidesteps him, sends him outside, and lands a tope suicida!  Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan hits something for another 2 count.  Bryan hits a running kick for 2.  They trade punches.  Bryan ducks a shot and lands some kicks on Miz.  The referee forces him back, then Bryan lands a dropkick in the corner.  Bryan hits a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Bryan tries to set up something on top and gets crotched on the top rope.  Miz hits a clothesline for 2.  Miz goes back to working the arm.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Bryan counters into a front cradle for 2!  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock.  Riley gets on the apron to distract Bryan.  Miz accidentally nails Riley.  Bryan gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Miz throws Bryan outside and distracts the referee.  Riley charges, but Bryan sends him into the post.  Inside, Miz gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz pounds and stomps on Bryan.  The referee bitches at him.  Bryan locks Miz in the LeBell Lock!  MIZ TAPS in 12:28!  BRYAN DANIELSON IS THE WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPION!  Really good match and a fucking AWESOME moment.  Miz cries over his loss.

Josh Matthews interviews John Cena, who is still hated in Chicago.  Typical Cena comedy.

The Bella Twins, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, Natalya, Jillian Hall, Layla, Tamina, Rosa Mendez, Gail Kim, and Maryse come out to be Lumberjills.

Lumberjill Match to Unify the WWE Women’s Championship and the WWE Divas Championship: WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool vs. WWE Divas Champion Melina.  McCool is announced as THE Women’s Champion, so I guess having her name drawn out of a hat makes her the sole champion.  McCool tries to attack Melina during her entrance, but fails.  They lock up and roll out of the ring.  McCool slaps Rosa, then bails back into the ring.  Melina does a crappy headscissors and some kicks.  Melina beats up McCool.  This is awful.  Melina takes a spill to the outside when McCool pulls her hair while Melina was doing some shit on the top rope.  McCool hits a flip neckbreaker for 2.  McCool applies a head scissors.  McCool goes for the Styles Clash, but Melina counters into a facebuster.  McCool hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  McCool tries to stomp Natalya’s hand, so Natalya tries to pull her out of the ring.  Natayla distracts the referee so he doesn’t see Melina schoolgirl McCool for 2.  McCool goes outside and gets beaten up by the lumberjills.  Back inside, Melina hits a flapjack and a kick, then dropkicks McCool into the ropes and hits a running knee.  She screams.  Ugh.  Melina ducks a kick, but McCool shoves her down anyway.  McCool beats up Melina in the corner and goes for a fucking Frankensteiner or something and they both fall out of the ring.  The lumberjills stand around looking clueless, then they all brawl.  Layla attacks Melina in the ring, but Melina tosses her out.  McCool sneaks in and hits Melina with a big boot for the pin in 6:32.  This was awful, and I don’t care about either of these titles.  LayCool celebrate.  I hate them.

Please, Don’t Try This At Home!

Chicago!

Todd Grisham interviews Wade Barrett, who of course claims he’ll become WWE Champion tonight.

Kane/Undertaker video package.

No Holds Barred Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Kane (c) vs. The Undertaker.  Taker meets Kane in the aisle and they brawl to start the match.  Taker throws Kane off the stage into one of the pillars that try to make the stage look like a Roman coliseum.  This seems to energize Kane, as he comes back and beats up Taker.  Taker responds by choking Kane.  They brawl some more.  Finally at ringside, Kane whips Taker into the steps.  Kane beats up Taker at ringside some more and hits him in the gut with the belt.  They finally get in the ring and Kane hits the diving lariat.  Kane hits a leg drop for 2.  Kane keeps beating up Taker.  They go outside again.  Kane throws the cover of the announce table at Taker.  Taker manages to reverse a whip from Kane, sending him into the steps.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP!  Taker boots Kane over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area, then jumps over the barricade to wipe Kane out.  Kane hits Taker in the ribs with a chair.  They brawl in the crowd and back to the ring.  Kane wails on Taker for a long time.  Taker finally lands a punch to a big pop.  They trade punches in the middle of the ring.  Taker ducks a clothesline from Kane and lands his flying clothesline.  Taker hits a splash in the corner and lands some punches.  Taker hits Snake Eyes and the running big boot, then a leg drop for 2.  Taker hits the chokeslam and goes for the Tombstone.  Kane reverses it and Tombstones Undertaker for the pin in 18:29.  I was dreading this match, but it turned out to be a fun brawl.  Taker slowly walks to the back all injured.

Legendary trailer.  Ugh.  It’s already out on DVD next week.

Todd Grisham tries to interview Randy Orton, who just says “no.”

Up next is the RETURN OF TAG TEAM TURMOIL!

Tag Team Turmoil Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship: Champions The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya) and Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina) are the first two teams.  Kidd starts with one of the Usos.  I can’t tell them apart anymore.  Kidd shines, then gets double teamed by the Usos.  Smith tags in and runs wild.  Smith goes for the Sharpshooter, but the other Uso pulls his partner to safety.  Kidd hits them both with an Asai moonsault.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter.  The other Uso comes in.  The women fight.  Jimmy kicks Kidd in the head and Jey pins him in 2:10.  Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov are the next team.  Santino runs wild on one of the Usos and hits a falling headbutt.  Other Uso saves.  Kozlov takes him out.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Tamina gets on the apron to distract him.  Jey hits Santino with a Samoan Drop for the pin in 3:15.  The next team is Mark Henry & Evan Bourne!  Bourne runs wild on the Uso, but gets cut off.  Bourne avoids a corner splash and tags in Henry.  Henry runs wild.  The other Uso tries to attack Henry from the apron and gets knocked off.  Henry hits Jimmy with the World’s Strongest Slam, then tags in Bourne.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press for the pin in 5:10.  The final team is Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre.  McIntyre and Rhodes take turns beating up Bourne.  Bourne fights back, but McIntyre drops him with a short lariat for 2.  McIntyre cranks on Bourne’s arm.  Bourne hits an arm drag to escape.  Rhodes tags in and cuts him off from making the tag.  Rhodes and McIntyre keep the heat on Bourne.  McIntyre applies a rear chin lock.  McIntyre clocks Bourne and sends him outside to get beaten up by Rhodes.  Back inside, McIntyre reapplies his rear chin lock.  McIntyre goes for a suplex, but Bourne knees his way free.  Bourne connects with another knee strike and makes the hot tag to Henry.  Henry beats up Rhodes and knocks McIntyre off the apron.  Henry hits a corner splash and a press slam.  Bourne tags in and climbs onto Henry’s shoulders.  McIntyre cuts them off and gets nailed by Bourne with a kick.  Rhodes hits Bourne with the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 11:42 to win the titles.  Fun match, but the first 3 eliminates were way too rushed.

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Hype video for the Six-Pack Challenge Match.

Josh Matthews interviews the WWE Champion, Sheamus.

Six Pack Challenge Elimination Match for the WWE Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. John Cena vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton.  Everybody brawls.  Sheamus is quickly sent outside and drags Orton out of the ring.  Orton reverses Sheamus into the barricade.  Everybody else gets sent out until it’s just Jericho and Orton.  Jericho beats on Orton.  Cena comes back in and brawls with Jericho.  Cena hits a bulldog on Jericho.  Orton hits the RKO on Jericho for the pin in 1:29.  Jericho is out already!  They kill some time showing Jericho’s look of shock and subsequent walk of shame to the back.  The other 5 guys stand in the ring and watch him.  The other 4 guys surround Barrett and kick his ass, Nexus style.  Edge and Sheamus clothesline Barrett out of the ring.  Cena and Orton attack and throw out Edge and Sheamus, respectively.  Cena and Orton face off.  The heels come back in the rob us of yet another Cena/Orton showdown.  Barrett tries to direct traffic with Sheamus and Edge, so they kick his ass.  Cena totally fucks up a dropkick on Edge.  Orton lands his on Sheamus.  Cena and Orton face off again.  Orton goes for the RKO.  Cena counters and goes for the STF.  Orton counters and goes for the DDT OF MURDER.  Cena counters and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  More shit happens.  Edge and Orton try to suplex Cena outside, but Barrett prevents it.  Sheamus decks Barrett, then comes inside to cover Cena for 2.  Sheamus beats on Cena.  Sheamus goes back outside to stomp on those guys.  He throws Orton into the barricade.  Back inside, Sheamus hits Cena with a knee strike that looked more like a butt butt to me, but I only caught a glimpse.  Sheamus keeps beating on Cena.  Cena fights back, but gets dropped with an elbow smash.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge off the top, but Cena counters.  Sheamus goes for a backdrop suplex off the top, but Cena fights him off.  Edge trips Cena off the top, causing Cena to fall on the ropes and injure his knee.  Edge and Sheamus work Cena over and hit a double superplex.  Edge covers for 2.  Cena falls out of the ring.  Sheamus and Edge go outside and beat up Barrett.  They throw him into the barricade, then bring Orton back into the ring.  Sheamus and Edge beat up Orton.  Orton explodes out of the corner and clotheslines them both, then hits Edge with the powerslam.  Sheamus drops Orton, then knocks Barrett off the apron.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on Sheamus.  Sheamus avoids the spear and hits the Irish Curse.  Edge avoids the pump kick and hits the spear.  Cena and Orton come back in.  Everybody goes for finishers.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Edge for the pin in 15:00.  Barrett makes it back in and pounds on Cena.  Barrett goes for the Wasteland, but Cena counters and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett counters into a DDT for 2.  Barrett goes outside to stomp on Sheamus and Orton.  He comes back in and lands some punches.  Cena makes his comeback and goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Sheamus prevents it.  Cena locks in the STF on Sheamus.  Sheamus struggles, but reaches the ropes to force the break.  The Nexus run out.  Barrett hits the Wasteland on Cena for the pin in 18:32.  Slater, Gabriel, Tarver, and Otunga beat down Orton and throw him in to Barrett.  Barrett fucks around and taunts him instead of going for the kill.  Nexus surround Orton.  Cena kills 2 of them with chair shots.  Orton RKOs the other 2.  Barrett goes for the Wasteland, but Orton counters into the 3.0.  Orton RKOs Barrett for the pin in 20:32.  Sheamus hits Orton with the pump kick for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and hits the RKO for the pin in 21:27 to win the title.  Fun match.  Orton celebrates.

Fun show overall.  Every match was at least somewhat good aside from the divas match, which is always going to suck to enforce the laws of nature.

WWE WrestleMania XXVI

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

Justin Roberts welcomes us to WrestleMania, then Fantasia sings “American The Beautiful.”  After that, we get the usually awesome WrestleMania opening video.

Slim Jim and WWE present WrestleMania!  AWESOME pyro and ballyhoo.  The University of Phoenix Stadium is a big fucking building.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announce team.  Justin Roberts is ring announcer for the first match.  Also, the Spanish announce table is back!  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich!

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  Former partners Miz and Morrison start.  Morrison lands a big dropkick for 2.  Morrison slams Miz and makes the tag to R-Truth.  Morrison hits a flippy leg drop and Truth hits a diving leg drop for 2.  Truth does his big side kick, then Big Show tags in.  R-Truth tries, but Show hits a big fall away slam.  Show shoves Morrison off the apron and goes for the Vader Bomb on R-Truth.  Morrison springs back up and hits a kick from the apron.  Truth covers for 2.  Morrison and Miz tag and do their thing.  Morrison hits a flap jack.  Miz gets a Brisco Roll out of the corner, but Morrison rolls through and knees Miz in the face.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but misses when Show pulls Miz out of the ring.  Truth dives at Show, but gets caught and posted.  Miz comes back in and covers Morrison for 2.  Miz goes for his finish, but Morrison neatly turns it into a cradle for 2.  Show makes the tag.  Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck while Show is still on the apron, but Show catches him with the KO punch for the pin in 3:24.  Good little match while it lasted.

Clips of Axxess and other happenings of WrestleMania week.

Triple Threat Match: Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton.  They square off, with Rhodes and Dibiase on the same page.  Orton takes the fight to both of them.  Dibiase cuts him off with a dropkick and they double team him.  Orton fights back, but gets cut off again.  Rhodes lands a knee drop and goes up top for a moonsault.  Dibiase covers Orton behind Rhodes’ back.  Rhodes breaks the cover and throws Dibiase out of the ring, then hits the Alabama Slam on Orton for 2, as Dibiase makes it back it to save.  Dibiase decks Rhodes and they fight.  Orton makes a comeback on both of them.  Orton hits the 3.0 on Rhodes and goes into his mat humping routine.  Dibiase pulls him out of the ring.  Rhodes does a dive, but Orton avoids it and only Dibiase gets hit.  Orton catches them both coming back in and hits a DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER!  Orton humps the mat again, preparing to hit the RKO on Rhodes.  He rethinks it and hits the PUNT OF DOOM instead.  Dibiase comes back in and goes for the Dream Street, but Orton counters and hits the RKO for the pin in 9:01.  It had its moments, but it was mostly pretty meh.  There’s this awesome round video screen that lowers to the ring and shows the guy’s logo at various points in the show.

Please, Don’t Try This!

Josh Matthews interviews Vickie Guerrero, with Michelle McCool, Maryse, Layla, and Alicia Fox.  Vickie talks to massive heat.  Jillian Hall steps in and sings horribly.  The other women leave her and Santino Marella steps in.  He bites into a Slim Jim and Jillian turns into Mae Young, who kisses him.  He bites it again and Mae turns into Mean Gene Okerlund.  He bites it again and Gene turns into Melina.  Santino seems satisfied with this.  That was stupid.

Savannah gets on the show as the ring announcer for Money In The Bank.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian.  Everybody brawls.  Somebody throws in a ladder and McIntyre immediately sets it up and climbs.  Hardy knocks it over.  McIntyre takes Bourne’s knees, Hardy’s Twist of Fate, and MVP’s Yakuza kick in short order.  Everybody tries to climb the ladder and everybody cuts everybody else off.  Kane chokeslams Bourne out of the ring onto MVP and Benjamin.  Hardy and Swagger fight on top of the ladder, but Kingston uses another ladder to knock that ladder over.  Christian whips Hardy into Swagger in the corner, throws a ladder against them, and monkey flips Kofi into the ladder.  Christian tries to climb the other ladder, but Ziggler cuts him off with a fucked up Zig Zag off of the ladder.  Ziggler climbs, but MVP cuts him off.  MVP clips, but Kane cuts him off, rams him into the ladder, and goes for a chokeslam, but Kofi hits Kane with a ladder.  Kofi, Shelton, and MVP ram a ladder into Kane.  Kofi runs up it and punches Kane, then takes a bump into the ladder.  MVP Yakuza kicks Kane.  Benjamin hits the Paydirt on MVP.  McIntyre gets hit by somebody/something.  Shelton climbs a ladder, but Swagger hits him with the other ladder, then hits Kane and MVP with the ladder.  Bourne comes off the top with the double knees on Swagger.  Bourne puts the boots to Swagger, then Christian and Hardy ram two ladders into Swagger, who is stuck between the original ladder.  There’s now a crazy ladder platform thing.  Hardy takes a bump off the ladder.  Christian goes for the Killswitch on Bourne off of the horizontal ladder.  Bourne counters him and hits a Shooting Star press!  Bourne goes for the prize, but Hardy cuts him off and hip tosses him off the ladder.  BIG BUMP.  Swagger cuts Hardy off and sends him for another BIG BUMP into the remaining horizontal ladder.  Man, trying to describe these matches is difficult.  MVP and Shelton fight on top of a ladder.  MVP takes a bump, then tries to powerbomb Shelton, but Shelton turns it into a rana that takes them both of the ring.  Kane clotheslines them with a ladder.  Kane climbs the ladder in the ring, but Ziggler climbs over him.  Kane pushes the ladder over, sending Ziggler into the ropes.  Kane throws the ladder at Ziggler, who ducks.  Shelton brings another ladder in.  Kane chokeslams Ziggler onto the ladder.  Fucking OUCH.  Kane sandwiches Ziggler in the ladder and kills him with it, breaking the ladder.  Kofi hits the Trouble In Paradise on Kane.  Instead of getting a functional ladder, Kofi uses the two ladder halves as stilts.  Funny, but stupid.  McIntyre cuts him off and sends him into the top rope and out of the ring.  McIntyre brings in a working ladder and climbs for the prize.  Hardy comes in to cut him off, but McIntyre rams his face into the ladder.  Hardy pushes the ladder over and McIntyre crotches himself on the top rope.  Hardy sets the ladder back up as Kane tries to set up another ladder.  Hardy kicks him away.  Christian climbs Kane’s ladder and rides it over to fight Hardy.  Kane climbs up the other side of the 2 ladders and goozles them both, but they fight him off.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Christian hits the reverse DDT off the top of the ladder.  Christian climbs again, but Swagger cuts him off.  Christian climbs the other ladder, but Swagger climbs up the other side and swings the briefcase into Christian’s face to knock him off.  Swagger takes forever to unhook the briefcase, but eventually does, and wins it in 13:44.  Surprise winner of the night.  The match was the typically fun crazy spotfest.

Extreme Rules, LIVE on PPV April 25!

The announcers talk about the Hall of Fame.  They show clips from last night’s ceremony.

Howard Finkel(!) is out to introduce the Hall of Fame Class of 2010: Stu Hart (represented by the Hart family), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon (escorted by one of the Bella Twins), Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker, Gorgeous George (represented by former wife, Betty, who was escorted by the other Bella), and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase!  Feel good moment.

Plug for the horrible WrestleMania theme.

Triple H/Sheamus video package.

Outside shot of the big ass stadium.  Man, I’d had trying to get out of that parking lot after the show.

Sheamus vs. Triple H.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Triple H into the corner, shoves him, and yells at him.  They lock up again .  Triple H backs Sheamus into the corner and slaps him.  Triple H goes for an early Pedigree, but Sheamus scampers to the relative safety of the corner.  Triple H hits a suplex and a knee drop (prefixed by a crotch chop) for 2.  Sheamus bails.  Triple H follows and sends him into the barricade, then back into the ring.  Triple H clips Sheamus’ leg and locks in a figure-four leglock.  Sheamus gets a rope break.  Sheamus bails again.  Triple H follows and gets thrown into the steps.  Back inside, Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker.  Twice.  Sheamus keeps the heat on Triple H, then poses to get one of the first crowd reactions of the night.  They brawl and the dead crowd livens up a bit.  Sheamus hits a Polish hammer for 2.  Sheamus hits a running powerslam for 2.  Sheamus works Triple H’s shoulder.  Triple H rallies and spikes Sheamus with a DDT.  They trade punches, complete with “BOO, YAY!” from the crowd.  Triple H hits the high knee and the facebuster for 2.  Sheamus counters a Pedigree attempt, but Triple H hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge off the middle rope.  They counter each other’s moves until Sheamus lands the pump kick, but Triple H kicks out.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge again, fails, and Triple H hits the spinebuster for 2.  Sheamus hits the pump kick from the apron.  Sheamus picks up a limp Triple H to go for the Razor’s Edge again, but Triple H springs to life and hits the Pedigree for the pin in 12:09.  Good match.  Triple H celebrates.

Edge’s Slim Jim commercial.

Mysterio/Punk video package.

Tony Chimel makes his first appearance… er, first… speaking role!  …of the night.

CM Punk cuts his usual promo as the Straight Edge Society make their way to the ring.  Mysterio’s music plays, but he takes a while coming out because the elevator thing that was supposed to shoot up for his entrance didn’t work and he had to climb out of the hole in the stage.  He finally makes his way out in a weird looking blue Avatar outfit.

CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio has to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses.  Gallows and Serena distract Mysterio to let Punk jump him for the early advantage.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold into the bottom turnbuckle, then tries a moonsault, but ends up getting stomped in the tree of woe.  Serena chokes him behind the referee’s back.  Mysterio avoids a baseball slide dropkick and Punk crotches himself on the post.  Outside, Punk wheelbarrows Mysterio into the steps.  Back inside, Punk clamps on a rear chin lock.  Mysterio escapes and fires some kicks and forearms.  Mysterio hits a springboard Bombs Away and tries a springboard cross body, but Punk catches him with a powerslam for 2.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip, but Punk avoids the kick and schoolboys Mysterio for 2.  Punk NAILS Mysterio with a kick to the head for 2.  Punk tries to hold Mysterio on the mat for a series of 2 counts.  Mysterio hits the crazy rope walk DDT that he used to do to Eddie Guerrero for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Punk catches him.  Mysterio counters the Go 2 Sleep twice and goes up top.  He does the Eddie shimmy and goes for the frog splash, but Punk moves.  Punk covers for 2.  Punk hits the knee to the corner, but Mysterio avoids the bulldog.  Mysterio counters a powerbomb and goes for the 619, but Serena covers Punk to save him.  Gallows gets on the apron to distract Mysterio.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep again, but Mysterio ranas him into the ropes and hits the 619 and the diving splash for the pin in 6:30.  Really good match for the time they had.  Another 5-10 minutes they might have stolen the show.

Bret Hart/Vince McMahon video package.

Bret comes out first to a great reaction. Vince comes out and says that Bret deserves a WrestleMania sized screwing.  He shelled out a bunch of money to buy himself some lumberjacks and a guest referee… Bret’s family!  The Hart Dynasty and Bret’s brothers and sisters come out with Vince.  Bruce Hart takes off his jacket to reveal a referee shirt.  Bret says he knows the Harts all got paid up front.  Bret says there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross.  He tells Vince that the Harts are all together, and tonight will be the night Bret screwed Vince.  Vince realizes that he is, in fact, screwed.

No Holds Barred Lumberjack Match: Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon.  Bret beats up Vince.  Vince goes outside to get beaten up by some of the ringside Harts.  David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, and one of Bret’s brothers beat up Vince.  The Hart Dynasty hold Vince so Natalya can slap him.  The Hart Dynasty hits Vince with a Hart Attack on the outside, then they throw Vince back into the ring, where Bret kills him some more.  Bret attacks Vince’s leg.  Vince grabs a crowbar from under the ring and scares all of the ringside Harts into stepping back.  He tries to attack Bret with it, but Bret kills him some more, gets the crowbar, and kills him with that.  This goes on for a long time.  Bret teases the Sharpshooter, but kicks Vince in the balls a few times instead.  Bret gets tired and sits down in a chair for a bit as Vince tries to make it to his feet.  Bret hits Vince with the chair 18 times.  I counted.  Bret finally locks Vince in the Sharpshooter for the submission victory in 11:09.  This went WAY too long.  They could have accomplished the same thing in 5 minutes.  At least they had the right ending.  The Hart family celebrates.

WrestleMania XXVII will be April 3, 2011 in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta!

Justin Roberts announces the attendance at 72,219.

Edge/Jericho video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge.  They lock up and do some basic wrestling.  That’s a good way to start any match.  Edge gets the advantage and pounds Jericho in the corner.  Jericho responds in kind.  Edge hits a flapjack and goes for an early spear, but Jericho bails.  They fight on the outside for a minute.  Jericho makes it back inside first and lands a baseball slide dropkick that knocks Edge off of the apron.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then applies a neck/shoulder lock.  Edge fights out and avoids Jericho in the corner, causing Jericho to spear the post.  Edge hits a big kick.  Jericho slingshots Edge into the top rope, then goes for his springboard dropkick to the apron.  Edge avoids it, sends Jericho to the floor, and hits a shoulder block off of the apron.  Back inside, Edge hits a front suplex off the top rope for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Edge avoids it.  Jericho avoids Edge in the corner, but Edge hits a diving cross body.  Jericho rolls through for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho again, but fails again.  Edge hits a diving sunset flip for 2.  Jericho reverses it into a pinning predicament for 2, then kicks Edge in the face.  Edge avoids the Codebreaker and goes for the spear, but Jericho avoids it and schoolboys Edge into the Walls of Jericho.  Edge escapes.  Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Edge avoids it and hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Jericho rocks Edge with an enzuigiri.  Edge rallies and hits the Edgecution for 2.  Jericho boots Edge in the face and comes off of the second rope with a forearm to the back of the head.  Jericho sets up for a spear.  Edge boots him in the face and goes for the spear himself, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker!  Jericho takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho stomps Edge’s previously injured leg, then locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Edge struggles to reach the ropes, but Jericho pulls him back to the middle and turns it into a half crab on the bad leg.  Edge manages to reach the ropes and surprises Jericho with a front cradle for 2.  Edge clotheslines Jericho and takes them both of the ring.  Jericho grabs the championship belt.  Edge cuts him off and throws him back to the apron.  Edge accidentally bumps the ref.  Jericho hits Edge with the belt for 2.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the pin 15:47.  REALLY good match, but the finish felt a bit anticlimactic.  Jericho tries to injure Edge’s leg after the match, but Edge goes crazy and kicks his ass.  Edge clears off the announce tables and runs across them, spearing Jericho into the barricade.

They show highlights of the pre-show 26-man Battle Royal, won by Yoshi Tatsu!  He knocked Zack Ryder off of the apron with a head kick to win it.

WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Vickie Guerrero, Alicia Fox, & Layla vs. Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, & Eve Torres.  Vickie pushes into Gail with her bulk.  Beth tags in and beats up Vickie.  Eve, Gail, Mickie, and Kelly each take a turn doing the same.  Vickie screams at Kelly and hits her fucked up Fameasser.  McCool saves Vickie and hits the Styles Clash on Kelly.  Everybody takes turns hitting there moves, half of them botched.  Beth goes for Vickie, but McCool saves her again.  With everybody else out, McCool and Layla help Vickie up top to hit the most horrible looking frog splash ever on Kelly Kelly.  Vickie fucks up her cover and takes 2 tries to pin her, but finally does to end this abortion in 3:24.  Fucking awful.  Vickie does the Eddie shimmy.  I have to believe Eddie Guerrero is turning over in his grave.

Batista/Cena video package.  On first viewing, I HATED this match, but for the most part I’ve liked these matches more on second viewing.  Except for that divas clusterfuck.  Fuck that.

Batista has a lone spotlight for his entrance, while Cena has a bunch of soldier types doing rifle tricks for his.

WWE Championship Match: Batista (c) vs. John Cena.  They fuck around a bit, then Cena works a headlock takedown.  Cena beats up Batista, then gets walloped with a clothesline to the back of the head.  Batista beats up Cena in the corner.  Cena blocks a suplex and hits one of his own.  Batista lands awkwardly on his ass and legs.  Cena hits a bulldog-like facebuster for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista spikes him with a botched looking DDT.  Batista locks in a scissored sleeper.  Cena fights out.  They do the “BOO, YAY!” punch exchange, with Cena getting booed.  Batista hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Cena starts his comeback and goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Batista catches him with the spinebuster.  He goes for the Batista Bomb, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Batista gets a rope break, then spears Cena for 2.  Batista goes for a superplex, but they end up doing a test of strength on the middle ropes.  Cena fights Batista off and hits a diving Five Knuckle Shuffle, then goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Batista counters and hits the Batista Bomb for 2.  They counter each other’s finishers until Cena manages to hit the Attitude Adjusment for 2.  Cena comes off the top, but Batista catches him mid-air with what I guess was a horribly botched Batista Bomb.  Batista goes for the Batista Bomb again, but Cena locks him in the STF for the win in 13:30 to regain the WWE Championship.  Batista hilariously keeps tapping after Cena releases the hold.  I didn’t hate it as much as I did the first time, but I still don’t think it was very good.  Slow, plodding, and they botched a lot of stuff.

Extreme Rules!  NEXT MONTH!

Undertaker/Shawn Michaels video package.

Streak vs. Career Match: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels.  They start with a staredown.  Michaels does Undertaker’s throat slash gesture.  The bell rings and they go at it.  Michaels hits Undertaker with a bunch of chops.  Taker whips Michaels into the corner, then hits Snake Eyes and the big boot.  Taker clotheslines Shawn in the corner, then goes for Old School.  Michaels fights it, but Taker manages to hit it.  He immediately regrets it, because he injures his knee upon landing.  Michaels avoids the chokeslam and kicks at Taker’s leg.  Undertaker rallies and goes for the Tombstone, but Michaels counters and goes for the crossface.  Taker avoids it and twists Shawn’s arm a bit.  Shawn throws a superkick, but Taker avoids it.  Shawn kicks the shit out of Undertaker’s knee some more.  Taker fires back with his big punches and clotheslines Shawn out of the ring.  Taker thinks about a dive, but Michaels rushes back in and clips the bad leg.  Michaels goes for a figure-four, but Taker kicks him out of the ring.  Taker follows and rams Shawn into the post.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP!  “VINTAGE!”  Back inside, Michaels locks Undertaker in the figure-four leglock.  Taker suffers for a bit, but manages to reverse it, so Michaels releases the hold.  I’ve never understood how that works.  They trade blows.  Michaels realizes how dumb an idea that is and goes back to chopping Taker.  Well, Taker was still punching him, so it’s a moot point.  Michaels hits the flying forearm and nips up, only to get chokeslammed.  Taker covers for 2.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters and locks him in an ankle lock.  Taker fights out.  Michaels clotheslines him, which sends them both out of the ring.  Michaels goes for a springboard cross body, but Undertaker catches him and Tombstones him on the floor!  Trainers come out to check on Michaels, but Taker picks him up, puts him back in the ring, covers, and Shawn kicks out!  Taker goes for the Last Ride, but Michaels turns it into a facebuster for 2.  Michaels goes for the diving elbow drop, but Taker catches him with his knees.  It hurts Michaels, but also worsens Taker’s injured knee.  Taker locks int he Hell’s Gate, but Michaels turns it into a jackknife hold for 2.  Sweet counter.  Michaels NAILS the superkick, covers, and TAKER KICKS OUT!  Michaels tunes up the band.  This time, Taker catches him and DRIVES him to the mat with the last ride.  Cover, but MICHAELS KICKS OUT this time.  Taker throws Michaels out of the ring.  Taker clears off the announce table and goes for the Last Ride again.  Michaels escapes and superkicks Taker onto the table.  Michaels goes to the top rope and hits a MOONSAULT to Taker’s knees THROUGH the announce table!  Michaels takes Undertaker back into the ring as Lawler speculates that Taker’s leg is broken.  Michaels NAILS another superkick, covers, and TAKER KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Michaels goes for another one, but Taker hits a BIG chokeslam.  Taker sells his leg, then picks Michaels up and hits a second Tombstone Piledriver.  1, 2, MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers his straps and begins the throat slash.  He’s got a nasty cut on his arm.  He stops mid-slash and looks down at Michaels, appearing to have some sort of sympathy for this man who has fought him so valiantly.  Michaels struggles to get up.  Taker yells at him to stay down.  Michaels gets to his knees and does the throat slash, then SLAPS Taker.  Taker gets pissed and FUCKING SPIKES Michaels with a JUMPING Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 24:00.  Fucking amazing match.  It wasn’t quite the match they had last year, but still fucking amazing.  They do a HUGE pyro display on the stage and outside of the stadium as the big screen reads “18-0.”  Undertaker helps Michaels to his feet and they shake hands and hug.  Taker leaves to let Michaels have his farewell moment.  Michaels walks up the ramp, slapping hands with fans.  He yells “I’ll drive my kids nuts in 3 weeks!”  He gets the top of the ramp and does his entrance pose, then goes to the back as we fade to black.

There were some things on this show I thought were terrible, and many more that I thought were good, but deserved more time.  The main event was just… fucking… great.