Archive for Monster’s Ball Match

TNA Slammiversary 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  Cool opening music video.  Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to the Palace of Auburn Hills for the 7th Anniversary of TNA!  We’re kicking things off tonight with the X Division Championship!

It’s a King of the Mountain Ladder Match.  If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a reverse ladder match where you have to hang the belt up to win.  You have to win a fall by pin or submission to eligible to hang the belt, and if you get pinned or submit, you have to spend 2 minutes in the penalty box.  Simple enough, right?  Curtis Granderson from the Detroit Tigers is the special guest belt holder for this match.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Suicide (c) vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley vs. Consequences Creed vs. IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin.  The Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences all want to unmask Suicide, so it’s 4 on 1 to start.  Being just outside of Detroit, the crowd is very pro-Guns.  Suicide pins Lethal about 2 minutes in after nailing everyone with the ladder, so he’s eligible.  Guns and Creed triple team Suicide while Lethal waits it out in the penalty box.  Suicide either botches a monkey flip or hits a revere lung blower on Shelley for a pin, so Shelley is sent to the penalty box while Lethal is released.  Sabin throws a chair at Suicide.  Lethal hits a Lethal Combination on Suicide onto the chair.  Lethal and Sabin fight over who is going to make the cover.  All 3 guys pile up on Suicide and pin him.  Lethal was on bottom, so he is the one who is eligible.  Guns and Lethal Consequences dance, then the Guns attack them.  Guns show their usual awesome teamwork against Lethal Consequences.  Sabin is knocked to the outside, then Creed gets a pin on Shelley after the TKO.  Suicide is released as Shelley is sent back to the box.  Lethal Consequences double team Suicide.  Sabin comes back in and goes for the Cradle Shock on Suicide, but gets counter and monkey flipped onto a ladder.  Lethal holds Suicide on the outside for Creed to hit a somersault plancha.  Suicide, Lethal, and Creed fight up the aisle.  Sabin runs up the ladder to the box and hits a dive onto all 3 of them.  That was awesome.  Shelley is released and starts climbing the ladder, even though he doesn’t have the belt and isn’t eligible anyway.  Sabin lets Shelley pin him.  Shelley goes up with the belt, but Suicide hits a missile dropkick on the ladder.  Creed whips Suicide face first into the ladder.  Lethal balances on the ladder, which is set up on the turnbuckle.  Suicide front suplexes Creed onto the ladder, which slingshots Lethal into a nasty bump.  Sabin is released from the box and pins Lethal after a sick tornado DDT.  Everyone is eligible to hang the belt now.  Creed hits a move on Lethal, then Shelley hits a move on Creed.  Suicide hits a jumping DDT on Shelley.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock on Suicide, then tries to hang the belt.  Suicide stops him.  Sabin takes him out and goes for it again, but Lethal makes it back in and backdrops him off the ladder.  Shelley hits a frog splash on Lethal, then superkicks Suicide.  Shelley lays out the ladder between the ring and the barricade.  Creed lands a kick on Shelley to send him out of the ring, then slams Suicide.  Lethal goes up top, but Sabin stops him.  Suicide dropkicks Sabin off the apron and onto the ladder.  Shelley hits a dive onto Suicide that the camera misses.  Lethal hits an elbow onto Sabin, who was still lying across the ladder.  “THIS IS AWESOME” chants.  Shelley and Creed fight on the apron.  Shelley lands a superkick, then the Shiranui on the apron.  Ouch.  Suicide and Shelley trade shots.  Shelley goes for the Shiranui off the cage, but Suicide counters and dropkicks him over the guardrail.  Suicide gets the belt and hangs up the ladder.  Crowd is booing him.  Lethal pushes the ladder over, but Suicide catches the ropes with the Captain Morgan pose and goes to the top of the box.  Shenanigans ensue and the ladder ends up being set up horizontally over the box and Lethal’s back.  Shelley sets up another ladder and goes for it, but Suicide jumps off the horizontal ladder and takes him down with a neckbreaker, then hangs the belt for the win at 23:28.  Really good match.  The lights go out and Suicide disappears.  I wish he’d disappear for good.

Tenay and West run down the rest of the card.

Lauren Brooke says Team 3D haven’t arrived back from Japan yet, then interviews Shane Douglas, followed by a Daniels/Douglas video package.  If Douglas beats Daniels, he gets Daniels’ spot on the roster.  If Douglas loses, he leaves.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. The Daniels formerly known as Christopher.  What the hell happened to Daniels’ first name anyway?  Douglas wrestles in a t-shirt.  Daniels works a headlock.  Douglas bails.  Daniels teases a dive, which Douglas avoids, but Daniels hits the split-legged moonsault.  Douglas works on Daniels’ arm.  Daniels gets a rope break and makes his comeback.  Daniels thinks BME, but Douglas stops him with a kick to the head.  They trade shots.  Douglas goes for the belly to belly, but Daniels drops him with an STO and hits the BME for the win at 8:14.  This wasn’t long enough to be offensive, thankfully.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Mick Foley.  Foley thinks Jeff Jarrett is going to help him retain the title for some reason.

Love/Tara video package.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Angelina Love (c) (w/ Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) vs. Tara.  Tara is Victoria, for anyone who doesn’t know.  Love shows off a little bit, then Tara kicks her ass.  Love bails.  Tara teases a dive, then dropkicks her into the barricade.  The other Beautiful People attack Tara from behind, then throw her back in the ring.  Love schoolgirls her for a quick 2.  Love gets heat on her for a bit, including more interference from Sky and Rayne at ringside.  Tara makes her comeback and hits a spinning slam thing, then goes outside and slaps the shit out of Sky, then Rayne.  Tara goes back in.  Love catches her with a kick, then Sky sprays hair spray on Tara’s face.  Love hits a Flatliner (called the Lights Out) for the win at 6:53.  Not awful, but nothing special.

Lauren interviews Dr. Stevie Richards, Raven, and Daffney.  Raven cuts his usual insane, yet awesome promo, then hugs Stevie and cries.  Monster’s Ball video package.

Monster’s Ball Match: Raven & Daffney (w/ Dr. Stevie) vs. Abyss & Taylor Wilde.  The faces shine early.  Abyss press slams Daffney out of the ring and onto Raven and Stevie, then Wilde dives out onto all 3 of them.  Abyss and Raven go into the crowd.  Daffney jumps in Abyss’ back, so Wilde sandwiches her head with a trash can lid and a cookie sheet.  They all brawl in the crowd.  Wilde jumps off of some speakers or something and splashes Daffney through a table.  Abyss and Raven make it back to the ring.  Abyss pulls out the bag of tacks.  Stevie comes in and nails Abyss with a chair.  Abyss is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Raven hits the drop toe hold onto the chair, but Abyss gets his hands out to protect himself.  Raven breaks a Singapore cane over Abyss’ head.  Raven chokes Abyss with a cane.  Wilde makes the save with a trash can lid shot.  Daffney nails Wilde with a cookie sheet.  Raven hits Abyss a few times with a trash can, then Abyss kicks it into Raven’s face.  Abyss hits Raven with the cane.  Abyss chokeslams Raven, but they totally miss the trash can.  Stevie distracs the ref.  Abyss goes for Stevie.  Stevie holds Abyss for a trash can shot, but Abyss movies and Stevie gets nailed.  Wilde dives off of Abyss’ shoulders onto Raven.  Abyss covers, but Stevie distracts the ref again.  Abyss pours out the tacks.  Daffney tries to attack him.  Wilde throws Daffney onto the tacks and covers, but Stevie saves.  Abyss sets up a chokeslam on the tacks, but Raven hits Abyss with a chair.  DDT on the chair by Raven, but Abyss kicks out.  Raven goes for the DDT on the tacks, but Abyss counters and hits the Black Hole Slam (on the tacks) for the win at 14:09.  Good plunder match.

Borash interviews Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett says he doesn’t want to be World Champion, but he has to take the title from Mick Foley to get his company back.

Sting/Morgan video package.

Sting vs. Matt Morgan.  If Morgan wins, he gets to join the Main Event Mafia. Sting is wearing his old red and black outfit, but with the usual white and black face paint.  That’s odd.  Morgan overpowers Sting to start and fishes out some punishment.  Sting fights back.  Tenay says Team 3D have arrived at the arena.  Morgan overpowers Sting again and gets heat on him for a while.  Sting tries to kick Morgan’s legs out from under him.  Sting manages to drop him with a missile dropkick.  Morgan avoids a Stinger Splash and hits the Carbon Footprint for 2.  Morgan goes for the Hellevator, but Sting counters.  I think he was trying for the Scorpion Death Drop, but they ended up just falling.  Sting hits it, but Morgan kicks out at 2!  Sting kicks him down and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Morgan powers out.  Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop from the second rope for the pin at 9:01.  Much better match than I expected.

Bound For Glory is coming to Los Angeles this year!

Lauren interviews AJ Styles and Samoa Joe.  AJ says either he or Joe will win the title tonight and take the company back.  Joe says he’s going to take out Angle… or something.  I kind of spaced out there for a second.

Team 3D/Beer Money video package.  Voice over guy says “Team 3D battles Beer Money for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.”  Of course I’m serious.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: IWGP Tag Team Championship Team 3D (c) vs. Beer Money.  3D have to be jet lagged, as they defended the IWGP Tag Team Championship on a New Japan show the day before.  Storm and Devon start.  Storm gets the better of it at first, then Devon gets some stuff in.  Roode tags in.  They have a little double teaming on Devon, then Bubba tags in against Roode.  Ray connects with a straight kick to Roode’s face.  Who knew he could get his foot up that high?  Roode and Ray go at it hard with a pretty good exchange.  Devon tags in.  Double team on Roode.  Beer Money work over Devon a bit.  Ray gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Bubba Bomb on Roode for 2.  They try to set up the 3D, but Storm prevents it.  Wassup headbutt on Roode.  Devon gets the table.  Wouldn’t they be DQ’d if they used it?  Roode his a spinebuster on Ray for 2.  Tag to Storm.  Double team on Ray.  BEER!  MONEY!  The British Invasion come out.  Williams and Magnus join the commentary team while the big guy just stands there.  Ray makes a comeback and hot tags Devon.  Devon knocks Roode through a loop with a lariat and covers, but Storm saves.  Devon hits a chokeslam of all things on Roode, but Storm saves again.  Inverted 3D for 2.  West does commentary in a British accent.  3D sets up the Doomsday Device on Roode, but he counters out of it.  Storm hits a lung blower on Ray.  Storm hits a Frankensteiner off the top on Devon.  Roode follows with a frog splash, which gets 2.  Ray saves Devon from a double suplex off the top.  They finally get the Doomsday Device on Roode for 2.  Storm accidentally spits beer on Roode’s face.  3D on Roode.  The big guy (Rob Terry?) distracts the referee.  Ray hits a suicide cross body on Magnus and Terry!  Williams gets on the apron.  Devon sends him off through the table.  Beer Money hits the DWI on Devon.  Roode gets the pin at 16:56 to regain the titles.  Good match, everybody was working hard tonight.

Borash interviews Kurt Angle, who is growing out his hair and beard.  He looks odd.  Angle says it’s all about him and Joe tonight, and he’ll walk out as champion again.

King of the Mountain video package.

King of the Mountain Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Mick Foley (c) vs. TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle.  Long entrances and introductions, including a short video package on each participant.  Angle comes out wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey.  As soon as the intros are over, Joe puts on a Detroit Red Wings jersey and kicks Angle’s ass.  Even though it’s no DQ and the match hasn’t started yet, Joe is DQ’d and forced to start the match in the penalty box, while Angle is immediately eligible to hang the belt.  The bell rings.  Jarrett and Styles beat up Angle while Foley just stands on the ladder outside the ring.  Styles and Jarrett both try to pin Angle, but unsuccessfully.  Foley comes in, tries to slam Jarrett, but just falls over and lets Jarrett pin him.  The referee makes two 2 counts, and finally the 3.  The fuck?  Foley goes into the box as Joe is released.  Jarrett is now eligible to hang the belt.  Joe fights with Jarrett in the ring as Styles and Angle fight outside.  Foley apparently just wanted to rest for 2 minutes, even though he hasn’t done anything all match except for the stupid failed slam spot.  Foley is released and goes after Joe.  Joe locks Foley in the Coquina Clutch and chokes him out as the other 3 fight outside.  Joe is eligible and Foley goes back to the box.  Joe suplexes Angle onto the ladder.  Ouch.  The ladder is set up against the turnbuckle and Joe whips Jarrett into it.  Joe tries to hang the belt.  Foley is released from the box and knocks the ladder over.  Joe falls on the ladder in a very painful looking way.  That ladder is done.  Foley puts the boots to Joe.  Styles comes in and goes after him, but Foley drops him.  Foley whips Joe into the ladder, then charges, but Joe hiptosses Foley onto the ladder.  Jarrett tries to climb the destroyed ladder, thinks better of it, and throws it out of the ring at Angle.  Jarrett brings in another ladder and goes for the win, but Angle comes back in and lands a low blow.  Angle kicks Foley’s ass a bit, then gets his ass kicked by Styles.  Angle goes for a German on Styles, who lands on his feet.  Cool.  Styles goes for a tornado DDT, but Angle counters and suplexes Styles on the ladder.  Jarrett grabs the acoustic equalizer and goes for the el kabong, but Angle kicks him in the gut and locks on the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs the guitar, gets out of the hold, and nails Angle with the erstwhile instrument.  Jarrett goes for the win.  Foley climbs up and tells Jarrett to give him the belt.  They trade punches, then Styles springboard dropkicks the ladder to send them both crashing down.  Foley and Styles end up on top of the penalty box.  Foley goes for a suplex.  AJ fights him off with headbutts and goes for his own suplex.  Foley blocks it and throws AJ into the ring with an impressive bump.  Joe locks the choke on Jarrett, but Jarrett hits a jawbreaker out of it and hits the Stroke onto the ladder.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Jarrett and covers.  Kick out, but Foley comes off the box with an elbow drop on Angle!  Foley gets the pin, so no everybody by AJ is eligible.  Foley goes to hang the belt, but AJ comes in and hits him in the back with the Legends belt.  AJ kicks Foley off the ladder.  Styles and Joe double team Foley.  AJ lands the Pele kick that sends Foley to the outside, then Joe elevates Styles out of the ring to take out Foley in an impressive suicide dive.  Styles gets a pin on Foley that the camera misses, so now everyone is eligible.  Jarrett hits Joe with the ladder.  Angle is released from the box as Foley is sent in.  Jarrett goes to hang the belt, but AJ climbs up to stop him.  Angle tries to pull Jarrett down.  They drop the belt.  Jarrett dives at Angle, but Angle drives him to the mat.  Joe and Styles fight.  Joe drops him with the big kick.  Foley is released and goes after Styles.  Foley nails him with the belt, then Joe lands his kick on Foley.  Joe goes up the ladder with the belt.  AJ grabs his boot and pulls him down and ends up with the belt around his neck.  Styles tries to climb the ladder, but Joe pulls him down.  Styles whips Joe, who dives through the ropes onto Jarrett and Foley.  Angle comes in and goes for the Angle Slam on Styles, but Styles counters into the Styles Clash.  AJ looks to have it won, but Joe comes in and powerbombs him off the ladder.  Joe goes up with the belt.  Angle climbs up the other side.  Joe hands Angle the belt!  Angle hangs the belt for the win at 22:04.  Joe and Angle hug.  Booker T, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Sharmell appear on stage to applaud Angle.  Has Joe joined the Main Event Mafia?  Oh, and I thought the match turned out pretty good too.

Pretty good show all together, one of TNA’s better PPV offerings of late.

TNA Bound For Glory 2010

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

I have the feeling this is going to hurt.

PPV open.  TNA presents Bound For Failure Glory!  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers LIVE from Daytona Beach, Florida.  At least they’re out of the iMPACT! Zone.  Tenay and Taz hype tonight’s happenings.

Tag Lines.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  GenMe make it halfway down the ramp before their music starts playing.  We’re off to a great start here.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match:The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Generation Me.  Shelley and Max start.  Shelley works an arm lock.  Max gets him down in the corner and stomps him.  Shelley fires some chops.  Sabin hits an arm drag and a leg sweep.  Guns pinball Max back and forth.  Shelley hits a kick for 2.  There are audio/video problems.  Guns double team Max a bit.  Shelley gets a Gedo Clutch for 2.  Jeremy trips Shelley from the outside.  Max drops Shelley with a kick, then Jeremy tags in.  Shelley goes for a superkick.  Jeremy bails.  Sabin kicks him in the head from the apron.  Guns double team Max again.  Guns hit stereo tope suicidas on the Bucks.  Back inside, Shelley hits Jeremy with a diving cross body for 2.  Jeremy counters the Shiranui.  Shelley pulls Jeremy’s head across the top rope, then goes up top.  Max crotches him.  Bucks hit the DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER on Shelley behind the referee’s back.  Is that illegal now?  Jeremy and Shelley trade slaps.  Jeremy hits an enzuigiri.  Sabin saves.  Bucks double team Shelley.  Max covers for 2.  The Bucks hit a wacky double team neckbreaker/backbreaker.  Jeremy applies a rear chin lock.  Jeremy goes for a superplex, but Shelley knocks him down.  Max grabs Shelley’s leg, but Shelley knocks him to the floor.  Shelley hits Jeremy with a Ghetto Stomp and makes the hot tag to Sabin.  Sabin runs wild.  Sabin ties Max to the tree of woe.  Shelley hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Sabin follows with the hesitation dropkick.  Shelley takes out Jeremy somehow.  Sabin hits Max with a diving lariat for 2.  Max goes to tag out, but Jeremy is down.  Sabin slaps Max.  Guns hit a double team drop move, but Jeremy saves.  Sabin springboards off of Shelley’s back and dropkicks Jeremy to the floor.  Shelley goes for a dive, but Jeremy avoids it and hits Sabin with the slingshot face buster.  Max hits Sabin with an inverted powerbomb for 2.  Bucks go for the DOUBLE DDT OF MURDER, but Shelley prevents it.  Guns go for the Made In Detroit on Max, but Jeremy knocks Shelley to the floor.  Max hits Sabin with a sick tornado DDT.  Jeremy takes out Shelley with a dive.  Jeremy hits Sabin with a 450 splash.  Max covers, but Shelley saves.  Shelley hits the Bucks with a Complete Shot/DDT combo.  Shelley tags in and goes for a Ghetto Stomp, but Max avoids it.  Bucks double team Shelley.  Sabin hits a 360 lariat on Jeremy.  Stuff happens.  Bucks hit a double splash on Shelley for 2.  Bucks go for the More Bang For Your Buck, but Shelley hits Max with a SPIDER GERMAN SUPLEX.  Guns hit the Skull & Bones on Jeremy.  Shelley pins Jeremy in 12:53.  Awesome match.  It’s very likely that this was as good as this is going to get.

Christy Hemme interviews Madison Rayne and Tara.  Rayne insults Christy Hemme a lot.  She’s in full bitchy slut mode tonight.  She says she owns Tara for life.  Tara doesn’t seem to like that.  She also tells Mickie James that she’s the Queen Bee.  That’s what she said.

Knockouts title clusterfuck hype video.

Four-Way Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Angelina Love (c) vs. Tara vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky.  Mickie James is the Special Guest Referee.  Yeah, the show is definitely going to go downhill now.  It’s tag in and out rules, so Rayne insists that the Beautiful People start against each other.  They high five and lock up.  Love do a bunch of pin attempts, then a double knockdown.  Rayne tags herself in and goes after Love.  James forces Rayne to break a foot choke in the corner.  Rayne yells at her.  Love hits a World’s Strongest Slam.  Tara pulls her off the cover.  Love hits a flapjack.  Rayne tags in Tara.  Tara does a hair reverse Gory Special thing on Love.  Velvet tags in and hits a tilt a whirl headscissors on Tara for 2.  Velvetl applies an Octopus stretch, then transitions into a sunset flip.  Tara rolls through and falls on her for 2.  I think that’s what happened anyway.  Velvet hits a suplex while Rayne screams.  Velvet hits some shitty strikes on Tara, then a bulldog headlock for 2.  Rayne knees Velvet from the apron.  Love knocks her off the apron.  More shit happens.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Tara hits a tilt a whirl slam on Love.  Rayne hits a face crusher on Velvet.  Everybody hits their finishers.  Poorly.  Tara goes for the Widow’s Peak on Sky.  Sky counters.  They knock Rayne off the apron.  Velvet gets a reverse cradle.  Tara half ass reverses it into a reverse cradle so shitty it doesn’t even deserve to be called a cradle for the pin in 5:53.  Tara wins the title.  Fucking awful match.  Rayne bitches at Tara for winning, then shoves Mickie.  Mickie KTFO’s Rayne with a punch.

Christy Hemme interviews Eric Young.  He has drawings all over him.  He thinks he’s a father figure to Orlando Jordan.  He also things Jordan’s family disowned him because he’s bipolar.  Jordan shows up wearing a wedding dress.  With a wedding dress mask.  I fucking hate this company.

Ink Inc. vs. Eric Young & Orlando Jordan.  They show clips from the retarded iMPACT! match.  Young has a “TNA rule book.”  Young puts the referee on the apron and tries to referee the match.  He counts a 2 count or Neal over Jordan.  This stupidity distracts Neal to let Jordan cheap shot him.  Neal hits a cross body on Jordan for 2.  Moore tags in and hits Jordan with a dropkick for 2.  Young tags in.  Moore gets some pinning predicaments for 2.  Young high fives everyone, then throws Jordan in the ring.  Ink Inc. double team Jordan.  Young tries to splash Jordan in the corner, but Jordan avoids it.  Moore crotches Young on the top rope.  Neal does the same to Jordan.  Ink Inc. shakes the ropes.  Shit happens.  Jordan grinds Moore in the corner, then hits a spinebuster.  Jordan covers homosexually for 2.  Young points at his rule book.  Jordan suplexes Moore for 2.  Moore goes for a sunset flip.  Jordan grabs the ropes.  Young kicks his hands away.  Double clothesline spot.  Jordan knocks Neal off the apron.  Young goes over to the Ink Inc. corner.  Moore drops Jordan with an enzugiri.  Young gets a tag from Moore and runs wild.  On his partner.  Ink Inc. hit Jordan with their fireman carry/blockbuster finish.  Moore pins Jordan in 6:37.  Young celebrates with Ink Inc., then hugs Jordan.  I don’t even know what to say about this retarded shit.

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Hardy.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Douglas Williams.  They lock up and wrestle.  That’s never a bad way to start a match.  Unless it’s a hate filled grudge match.  This isn’t, so we’re good to go.  Williams kicks the middle rope into Lethal’s leg.  Instead of working the leg, they half a fast paced exchange.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  Williams rolls to the floor.  Lethal hits a dive.  Back inside, Lethal misses a springboard dropkick.  Williams hits a knee drop for 2.  Williams hits a 360 lariat for 2.  Lethal comes back and hits a back body drop.  Lethal hits some clotheslines and a dropkick.  Lethal hits a Lionsault body block for 2.  Williams hits a German suplex for 2.  Williams hits a running knee to the corner and a snap suplex for 2.  Williams hits an Exploder for 2.  Williams hits an awesome Chaos Theory for 2.  An awesome version of his finish.  For 2.  Williams hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner.  Lethal rolls through it and gets the pin in 8:15.  I did not care for this match at all.  It’s great if you like guys just doing moves, but it had no psychology at all, and I expect better from these guys.  Lethal goes into the crowd to celebrate.  Robbie E. and Cookie show up to jump him in the crowd.  Robbie throws Lethal back in the ring and hits an Ace Crusher.  Zack Ryder’s cousin says Lethal is a disgrace to New Jersey.  New Jersey is a disgrace to itself.  He promises to win the belt and deface it.  Cookie says her stupid “Jersey’s in the house, BITCHES!” catchphrase.  They have a seizure to their awful music.  I hate wrestling.

RVD/Abyss hype video.

Monster’s Ball Match: Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam.  Abyss cuts a promo before the match.  RVD immediately goes on the attack because he knows that’s the proper way to start a hate filled grudge match.  RVD hits an awesome slingshot leg drop.  It’s weird how I hate Hogan but I pop when anybody else does a leg drop.  RVD dropkicks a chair into Abyss’ face, then goes up top.  Abyss bails.  RVD hits him with a diving cross body to the floor.  RVD throws a barbed wire board into the ring.  Abyss comes back in and drops RVD with an elbow smash.  RVD hits a bulldog onto the barbed wire board.  RVD goes for the Rolling Thunder, but Abyss rolls off and RVD’s back eats the barbed wire.  RVD rolls to the floor.  Abyss makes a table bridge between the apron and the guardrail.  Abyss hits RVD with a trash can.  He makes another bridge on the other side of the ring with the other barbed wire board that is conveniently present.  They fight on the apron next to the table bridge.  RVD lays Abyss on it and hits a Rolling Thunder over the top rope through the table.  Back inside, RVD hits the Van Daminator.  RVD goes up top, but Abyss throws a chair at his head.  RVD falls off the top rope through the barbed wire board bridge.  Abyss tries to harpoon RVD into the other barbed wire board.  RVD slips out and throws Abyss into it.  RVD hits the Van Terminator with the barbed wire board.  RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Abyss avoids it.  Abyss brings in Janice.  RVD ducks the shot and throws a chair at him.  RVD HITS ABYSS WITH JANICE.  I always knew Abyss would be the idiot to get hit with that thing.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 12:59.  Okay for mindless garbage match.  Abyss says “10/10/10.  Get ready.” into the camera.  Ugh.

Nash/Sting/Jarrett/Joe etc. hype video.  Ugh.

Handicap Match: Sting, Kevin Nash, & “The Pope” D’Angelo DInero vs. Jeff Jarrett & Samoa Joe.  Joe and Pope start by trading arm locks.  Pope lands a shoulder block, then postures.  Joe gets up and kicks his ass.  Pope fights back.  Joe hits a leg lariat.  Sting tags in and attacks Jarrett on the apron.  Joe kicks Sting’s ass.  Sting his a Stinger Splash and lunges at Jarrett again.  Jarrett avoids it.  Sting goes for another Stinger Splash, but Joe catches him with an STO.  Sting bails.  Joe beats him up on the outside.  Nash hits Joe from behind to let Sting get the advantage.  Back inside, Nash tags in and beats up Joe plodding, big man style.  Pope tags in to continue the work.  Pope hits a springboard elbow drop stupid thing for 2 after fucking up the first springboard or something.  Sting tags in.  Joe hits Sting and Pope with a double clothesline.  Nash cuts Joe off from making the tag.  Joe rocks Nash with a big kick.  Jarrett reaches out for the hot tag, then drops off the apron and abandons Joe.  That bastard!  That traitor!  That Quisling!  That Benedict Arnold!  Nash says “I told you!”  Joe goes on the attack, but is overcome by the 3 on 1 situation.  Nash hits the Jackknife powerbomb for the pin in 7:41.  I’m shocked that Nash can powerbomb anyone, let alone Joe.  The match was mediocre, meaning it was better than at least half of the matches on this show so far.

Christy Hemme interviews Ken Anderson, who apologizes in advance for ending Kurt Angle’s career tonight because Angle hit him in the nuts.  “That shit hurt!” he says.

Team 3D come out.  Boo.  Bubba babbles for a while.  Boo.  Then he announces their retirement.  YAY!  They want to wrestle the Guns for the Tag titles so they can retire as champions.  Boo!  Bubba tells Devon to get the tables.  Devon says his catchphrase.  They leave.

Tenay and Taz argue about whether or not the Guns should wrestle 3D.

Fortune/EV2.0 hype video.

Christy Hemme interviews Fortune.

Lethal Lockdown Match: EV2.0 (Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Sabu, Raven, & Stevie Richards) (w/ Mick Foley) vs. Fortune (TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, & Matt Morgan) (w/ Ric Flair).  Foley and Flair brawl before the match even starts.  They’re doing the old school deal where everyone is at ringside for WarGames.  Stevie and Kazarian start the match.  They lock up, then brawl.  I never thought I’d see the day when my boy Stevie was in a featured PPV match.  Stevie hits some neckbreakers.  All of Fortune have blue trunks.  That’s kind of neat.  Kazarian goes for a diving leg drop, but Stevie avoids it and fights back.  Stevie drops Kazarian, then does a Flair strut.  Stevie hits a Complete Shot into a Koji Clutch.  Fucking awesome.  AJ Styles enters for Fortune.  He drops Stevie with a dropkick.  Styles and Kazarian use their man advantage and double team Stevie.  Tommy Dreamer enters for EV2.0 and runs wild.  Dreamer hits a cool pumphandle suplex on Styles.  Dreamer and Stevie double team Kazarian.  Stevie is selling his ankle.  He was put in a figure-four leglock while I wasn’t paying attention.  I apologize.  Stevie superplexes Kazarian as Styles powerbombs Stevie.  Dreamer gets knocked down in the process.  Robert Roode enters for Fortune.  Roode rams Dreamer’s head into the cage.  Dreamer is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Flair punches Dreamer through a camera hole.  Sabu comes in for Fortune and runs wild.  The crowd boos him.  Sabu hits Styles with a tornado DDT, then locks him in the camel clutch.  Dreamer powerslams Roode.  Dreamer locks Styles in the crossface.  Roode breaks it.  James Storm comes in for Fortune.  Beer Money hit a double back body drop on Dreamer.  2 awesome double teams in a row as one of  Beer Money hold up Richards and Styles hits a Long Blower, then Beer Money hit their catapult DDT.  More double teams.  BEER!  MONEY!  Stevie superkicks Kazarian.  Storm superkicks Stevie.  Storm rams Dreamer’s head into the cage again.  Raven enters for EV2.0.  They try to cut him off, but he manages to get  his wild running in.  Raven puts the snot rag in Kazarian’s face.  Taz makes a Moondogs reference that Tenay no sells.  Dreamer has somehow busted Roode open.  Matt Morgan comes in as the final entrant for Fortune.  Morgan powerbombs Sabu into the cage.  Sabu is bleeding too.  Morgan hits the revolving elbows on Dreamer, then drops Stevie with a boot.  Rhino comes in at the last entrant for EV2.0 and runs wild.  Rhino Gores Storm.  They lower the ceiling of weapons.  THE MATCH BEYOND BEGINS!  Foley and Flair start brawling at ringside again.  EV2.0 grab some weapons and go to work.  Raven and Morgan trade shots with trash can lids and Singapore canes.  Stevie avoids the Carbon Footprint and Morgan injures his leg on the cage door.  Stevie throws Kazarian into the door and the door opens.  Rhino starts to go out, but Stevie says he’s got this.  Kazarian and Stevie climb to the roof of the cage.  Kazarian sets up a ladder.  He tries to throw Stevie off  of the roof.  Sabu hits dive through the door onto Morgan and Storm.  Stevie sets up a table.  Kazarian hits Stevie in the balls and lays him out on the table.  Kazarian climbs the ladder.  Brian Kendrick comes out from under a sheet and knocks the ladder over.  Kendrick backdrops Kazarian through the table, then meditates or something.  Only Styles and Dreamer are still in the cage.  Styles goes up top.  Dreamer hits him with a chair, then hits the Spiccoli Driver off the top for the pin in 24:45.  I enjoyed this.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.  He dedicates the match tonight to Hulk.

Tale of the Tape.

Hardy/Angle/Anderson hype video.

Tale of the Tape.  Again.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Final, Three-Way Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Anderson vs. Kurt Angle.  Angle and Hardy both attack Anderson.  Angle gets sent outside, so Hardy beats up Anderson by himself.  Anderson hits a swinging neckbreaker, but Angle saves.  Angle beats up Anderson.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex, but Hardy saves.  Angle German suplexes Hardy and Anderson at the same time.  Pimp.  Cover on Anderson gets 2.  Angle throws him out of the ring and covers Hardy for 2.  Hardy backdrops Angle out of the ring.  Anderson comes back and beats up Hardy.  Angle trips Anderson and pulls him out of the ring.  They brawl at ringside.  Hardy hits them with a dive.  Angle beats up Hardy in the ring.  A suplex gets 2.  Hardy hits some shitty clotheslines.  Anderson comes back in and eats more shitty Hardy clotheslines.  Hardy goes up top, but Angle brings him down with a belly to belly off the top.  Anderson hits the Lambeau Leap on Angle.  Hardy hits Anderson with flippy kick thing, then beats up Angle in the corner.  Hardy goes for the Swanton Bomb, but Anderson moves.  Angle shoots out of the corner and covers Hardy for 2.  Dixie Carter is watching in the crowd.  Joy.  Angle superplexes Hardy as Anderson powerbombs Angle.  Because we totally didn’t just see that spot in the previous match.  Anderson covers Angle for 2, then Hardy for 2.  Anderson hits the rolling Germans on Anderson, then Hardy.  Angle locks Hardy in the ankle lock.  Anderson tries to save.  Angle locks them both in the ankle lock.  They manage to flip Angle over.  Angle goes up top.  Anderson cuts him off and hits the Lambeau Leap off the top.  Anderson covers, but Hardy hits them both with a Swanton Bomb.  Hardy covers both for 2.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate on Angle.  Angle pushes him into Anderson to knock him off the apron, then hits the Angle Slam on Hardy for 2.  Angle gives Anderson a backdrop suplex off the top rope.  Hardy tries to steal the pin, but only gets 2.  Hardy hits Angle with the Whisper In The Wind, then hits Anderson with the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb for 2.  Angle pulls Hardy off the cover and locks him in the ankle lock.  Hardy flips Angle forward right into Anderson’s Mic Check.  Anderson covers for 2.  They do a three-way cradle counter sequence.  Hardy and Anderson to a double clothesline spot.  Angle hits a GORGEOUS moonsault press on Hardy for 2.  Anderson and Angle counter each others’ moves.  Angle accidentally clotheslines the referee to death, then hits Anderson with a German.  He tries to roll them, but Anderson counters and hits the Mic Check.  Eric Bischoff comes out with a chair.  He looks poised to fuck Angle over.  Hulk Hogan comes out on crutches.  Bischoff throws the chair away.  Hogan bitches at him.  Bischoff takes one of Hogan’s crutches.  Hardy comes back in.  Angle gets up.  Hogan hands his crutch to Hardy.  Hardy breaks the crutch over Angle’s back.  THEY’RE IN CAHOOTS!  Hardy breaks the other crutch over Anderson’s back, then hits the Twist of Fate.  Bischoff drags the referee back into the ring and kicks him until he counts the pin for Hardy in 18:39.  Really good match, even with the fuck finish.  At least the crutch shots weren’t light.  Jeff Jarrett and Abyss come out to celebrate with Hardy, Hogan, and Bischoff.  I CALLED IT!  HOGAN AND BISCHOFF ARE THEM!  Rob Van Dam comes out and asks Hardy “WTF, man?”  Hardy nails RVD with the belt.

When I read the results of the show last night, I was so pissed off when I found out about this angle.  Now that I’ve seen it, I’m not going to lie… I really liked it.  I’m still not optimistic about where they’ll take the story from here, but I liked the angle.  As for the show as a whole, I’ll give it a thumbs in the middle.  There were 3 or 4 matches I enjoyed, but there was a lot crap on the show too.  Still, I really liked the main event and the closing angle.

TNA Slammiversary VIII

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2010 by Grappleholic

The sixth annual Slammiversary, Slammiversary XVIII!  No, that’s not a typo.  It is the 8th anniversary of TNA, but the first Slammiversary was in 2005.

Opening video package highlighting the history of TNA, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Kazarian vs. Kurt Angle.  Angle takes Kazarian down with a side headlock.  They do some running and jumping around.  Kazarian hits a pair of arm drags.  They trade arm locks.  The crowd chants “USA!”  Both of these guys are Americans.  Kazarian hits a springboard dropkick.  Angle hits the rolling Germans.  Kazarian kicks him in the balls.  The referee wants to DQ Kazarian, but Angle tells him not to.  Kazarian goes on the attack.  He throws Angle out of the ring and hits a slingshot hilo.  Back inside, Kazarian hits his slingshot leg drop for 2.  Kazarian applies a front face lock.  Kazarian hits a clothesline, then chokes Angle with his shin.  Angle fights back and hits a release German suplex.  They trade punches, complete with “BOO, YAY!” responses from the crowd.  Angle hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Kazarian counters a move and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Angle hits a powerbomb for 2, then goes for the ankle lock.  Kazarian rolls through with a front cradle for 2.  Kazarian hits a dropkick for 2.  Kazarian goes up top.  Angle springs up and hits an arm drag for 2.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam.  Kazarian rolls through it, but Angle rolls through the roll through and goes for the ankle lock again.  Kazarian escapes and hits a slingshot DDT for 2.  Angle hits the rolling Germans again.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam again and gets countered again.  Kazarian hits the Axe Guillotine Driver!  Fucking ouch.  Angle kicks out!  Angle fights back, but eats a lariat for 2.  Angle hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle goes up top, but Kazarian powerbombs him out of the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver again, but Angle counters and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 14:14.  Very good opener.

Tenay and Taz talk about the anniversary of TNA.

X Factors.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Doug Williams (c) vs. Brian Kendrick.   The crowd is pro-Kendrick.  They chant “YOU’RE A WANKER!” at Williams.  Good back and forth wrestling to start.  Williams sends Kendrick to the floor and follows him out.  Williams avoids Kendrick, who crashes into the barricade, then backdrop suplexes him on the floor.  They trade blows back in the ring.  Williams hits a Samoan drop for 2.  Williams applies a bow & arrow lock, turns it into a pinning predicament for 2, the applies a cravat headlock.  Kendrick tries a springboard, but Williams avoids him by going outside.  Kendrick connects with a dive.  Back inside, Kendrick hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Kendrick hits a running knee strike for 2.  Another kick and another 2 count by Kendrick.  Williams kicks Kendrick in the thigh, then hits a lariat.  Kendrick tries a sunset flip, but Williams sets on him for 2.  They do a cradle reversal bit.  Williams hits a snap suplex and a side suplex, then an Exploder for 2.  Kendrick slaps Williams.  Williams goes for the Chaos Theory, but Kendrick bits his hand.  Williams hits a jumping tornado DDT for the pin in 9:35.  Good little match.  The announcers put over Williams being a hypocrite for using a top rope move to win.

Christy Hemme talks to Eric Bischoff (w/ Miss Tessmacher).  Bischoff is rooting for RVD tonight.

Knockouts Tale of the Tape.  Roxxi and Madison Rayne come out for the match.  Madison cuts a promo that the crowd hates.  She challenges Roxxi to put her career on the line.  Roxxi agrees, then Madison hits her in the head with the mic.

TNA Knockouts Championship vs. Roxxi’s Career: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Roxxi.  Rayne covers for off of the pre-match microphone shot.  Roxxi is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Roxxi fights back.  Polish hammer gets 2.  Rayne knocks Roxxi to the outside.  Roxxi is bleeding heavily.  Roxxi rams Rayne into the turnbuckle, then heads up top, but Rayne pulls her down.  Cover gets 2.  Rayne applies an arm hold.  Roxxi connects with an enzuigiri.  Roxxi hits the Voodoo Drop, but Rayne kicks out at 2.  Roxxi hits it again, but Rayne falls out of the ring.  Rayne comes back in and hits her move (the reverse Playmaker thing) for the pin in 4:16.  It was fine.  The last minute stip was random.

Brother Ray/Jesse Neal video package.  They come out for the match.  Ray calls for Brother Devon to come out.  Shannon Moore also comes out.  Brother Ray apologized to everyone for being a douchebag.  Crowd chants “YOU’RE A DOUCHEBAG!”  Moore leaves as Ray puts Neal over.  Ray apologizes again and hugs Neal.  Team 3D raise Neal’s hands.  As they head up the ramp, Ray decks Neal from behind and throws him into the ring.

Jesse Neal vs. Brother Ray.  Devon is like “WTF?” as he’s held back by security.  Ray kicks Neal in the face.  Moore comes back out.  The referee tells everyone to leave.  Neal tries to fight back, but Ray kicks his ass.  Neal finally makes a comeback and hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb.  Tommy Dreamer walks through the crowd.  Ray gets distracted, but avoids Neal’s spear.  Neal avoids a diving senton and spears Bubba for the pin in 5:53.  Not much of a match.  Ray is pissed.

Christy Hemme interviews Hernandez.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez video package.  Morgan comes out in street clothes and a neck brace.  He says he can’t wrestle tonight because Hernandez jumped him from behind “again.”  He gives the referee a doctor’s note.  Morgan tries to leave, but Hernandez jumps him and throws him in the ring.

Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez.  Hernandez chokes Morgan with a towel.  Hernandez politely sits the referee on the top rope to keep him out of the way.  Morgan begs off, then sends Morgan to the outside.  Morgan hits a shitty discus lariat.  Morgan beats up Hernandez for a little while.  Hernandez makes his comeback.  He rips Morgan’s shirt off and chokes him with it.  The referee tries to make him stop.  Hernandez tires of this shit and tosses the referee across the ring.  The ref DQ’s Hernandez in 5:19.  Hernandez tries to kick Morgan’s head into the post like Morgan did to him a few months ago, but Morgan pulls the ref in front of him.  Morgan runs away.  Earl Hebner runs out to check on the original referee, his son Brian.  Another promising match turning into a stupid angle.

Christy Hemme interviews Hulk Hogan, who is also rooting for RVD tonight.

Monster’s Ball Match: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. Abyss.  Chelsea is back with Wolfe even though Abyss won her for 30 days 28 days ago.  So not only is Vince Russo a horrible booker, he also can’t count.  Abyss throws a bunch of weapons into the ring.  Wolfe swings a Singapore cane, but Abyss ducks it and kicks his ass.  Wolfe kicks a chair into Abyss.  Wolfe wedges the chair between the top and middle turnbuckles, then wails on Abyss with the Singapore cane.  Abyss hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Abyss brings in a barbed wire board from under the ring.  Abyss sends Wolfe into the chair between the turnbuckles.  Abyss goes outside to get a trash can.  Wolfe kicks the middle rope into his balls on the way back in, then hits him with the trash can a couple of times.  Wolfe looks in a trash can and finds a teddy bear wrapped in barbed wire.  Awesome.  Abyss rams into Wolfe in the corner, then gives the barbed wire bear to Chelsea.  Abyss pours broken glass into the ring.  Wolfe says “Fuck this” and bails. using Chelsea was a shield.  Wolfe cheap shots Abyss with the Singapore cane, then chokes him with it.  They fight up to the announcers’ table.  Wolfe tries to hit Abyss with the cane again, but Abyss chokeslams him through the platform the announce table is on.  Abyss carries Wolfe back to the ring and covers, but Wolfe gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Abyss lays out the barbed wire board and tries to set up a superplex, but Wolfe hits a sunset flip powerbomb.  Cover gets 2.  Wolfe tees off with the Singapore cane again.  Abyss ducks a shot and hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss’ arms are cut up from the barbed wire.  Wolfe attacks the arm, then hits Abyss in the back of the head with the cane.  Abyss falls face first into the broken glass.  Chelsea looks concerned or disgusted.  Wolfe covers for 2.  Crowd chants “THIS IS AWESOME!”  It’s not.  Wolfe calls for Chelsea’s purse.  He’s mad that the brass knuckles aren’t in it.  Chelsea throws the knuckles to Abyss.  Abyss decks Wolfe with the knuckles, then hits the Black Hole Slam for the pin in 11:46.  Okay for a garbage match.

Christy Hemme interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champon, Rob Van Dam.

Ric Flair/Jay Lethal/AJ Styles video package.

AJ Styles (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Jay Lethal.  Lethal chops Styles.  Styles bails.  Back inside, Styles works a side headlock.  Lethal turns it into a head scissors.  Styles turns it back into a headlock.  Styles kicks Lethal in the knee.  They trade chops.  Lethal hits a monkey flip, but Styles lands on his feet.  Lethal takes Styles down and lands a basement dropkick.  Lethal hits a backbreaker for 2.  Lethal hits a spinning head scissors.  Styles bails.  Lethal dives, but Styles slips back into the ring to avoid it.  Styles goes for a dive, but Lethal avoids it and pulls Styles down, causing Styles to smack his face on the apron.  Flair checks on Styles.  Back inside, Lethal ducks a chop and chops Styles.  Styles counters a head scissors attempt by crotching Lethal on the top rope.  Styles hits a knee drop for 2.  Some other stuff happens.  Lethal hits a dropkick for 2.  Styles hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Styles sends Lethal outside.  Flair chokes Lethal with his jacket.  Back inside, Styles covers for 2.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow smash and some running elbows.  Lethal hits a diving kick and a moonsault body block for 2.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination for 2.  Lethal tries to springboard, but Styles catches him and hits a fireman’s carry into a neckbreaker across the knee for 2.  Flair argues with Earl Hebner.  Lethal ducks a discus lariat and hits a backdrop into a neckbreaker for 2.  Styles locks Lethal in the figure-four leglock.  Nothing comes of that.  Styles hits a brainbuster for 2.  Styles for the Styles Clash, but Lethal counters and hits a release Dragon suplex.  Cover, but Flair puts Styles’ foot on the bottom rope.  Lethal locks Styles in the figure-four.  Lethal hits a backbreaker and goes for the diving elbow drop, but Styles avoids it.  Styles hits the Pele kick.  Styles tries to climb to the top, but slips and hits his face ont he top turnbuckle.  He tries a half assed something, but Lethal catches him with a half assed Northern Lights suplex hold for the pin in 17:10.  Very good match, but the finish was kind of weird.  Flair yells at Styles.  Kazarian runs out to try to make peace.  Flair and Kazarian leave Styles behind.

Sting cuts a promo up in his clubhouse.

Hardy & Anderson/Beer Money video package.

Christy Hemme interviews Jeff Hardy & Mr. Anderson.  They decide that their team is called “Extreme Enigmatic Assholes.”

Beer Money vs. Jeff Hardy & Mr. Anderson.  Anderson and Roode start.  Both teams make quick tags early.  Hardy and Anderson hit the old Hardy Boyz double leg drop on Roode at one point.  Anderson and Storm brawl.  Roode low bridges Anderson out of the ring and drives him into the side of the ring.  Back inside, Storm covers for 2.  Storm chokes Anderson.  Beer Money double team Anderson.  Anderson catches Storm with a clothesline and makes the tag to Hardy.  Hardy runs wild.  Front suplex on Roode.  Storm saves.  Anderson comes in just to get sent outside by Storm.  Beer Money hit the catapult into the DDT on Hardy.  Roode covers Hardy for 2.  Storm sets up the superkick, but Anderson pulls him out of the ring.  Hardy drops Roode and hits the Swanton Bomb.  Storm pulls the referee out of the ring.  The referee blames Anderson for it, stupidly.  Storm tags in and beats up Hardy.  Beer Money double team Hardy again.  Anderson comes in to save and gets reprimanded by that retarded ref again.  Storm hits a modified DDT OF MURDER on Hardy for 2.  Roode tags in and hits a backbreaker on Hardy for 2.  Anderson gets bitched at for making the save again.  Beer Money keep the heat on Hardy.  BEER!  MONEY!  Hardy inside cradles Storm for 2 while Anderson and Roode argue.  Roode tags in and beats up Hardy.  Hardy misses the Whisper In The Wind.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate out of nowhere.  Anderson gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Lambeau Leap on Roode for 2.  Hardy takes out Storm with a dive, using Anderson as a springboard.  Roode counters the Mic Check and hits a spinebuster, but Hardy saves.  Hardy kicks Roode.  Storm hits the Eye of the Storm on Hardy.  Beer Money set up the DWI, but Hardy sends Storm out of the ring and helps Anderson counter it.  Anderson hits the Mic Check on Roode for the pin in 13:56.  Pretty good match.  Anderson’s face is bloody.  Anderson and Hardy introduce each other as winners of the match.

RVD/Sting video package.  They say it’s a first time ever match when they technically had a match when RVD debuted in TNA.  Tale of the Tape.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Sting.  They lock up.  Sting takes RVD outside and into the crowd.  They brawl in the crowd, which is a great way to have a match without actually doing anything.  They go back to the ring side of the barricade, then Sting back body drops RVD back into the crowd, giving them an excuse to do more meaningless crowd brawling.  Sting finally brings RVD back in the ring and slowly puts the boots to him.  Sting hits a Stinger Splash for 2.  RVD lands a big kick, some other moves, and his diving kick for 2.  RVD slams Sting and hits the split legged moonsault for 2.  RVD goes for a diving cross body, but Sting moves and referee Earl Hebner takes it.  Sting attacks RVD with his bat.  Jeff Jarrett comes out, takes the bat away, and nails Sting with it a couple of times.  Jarrett leaves.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.  Sting avoids RVD in the corner.  RVD avoids the Stinger Splash and lands a kick and the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 10:53.  Well this was kind of lame.

Pretty decent show for a TNA PPV, with the worst only being mediocre.

TNA iMPACT! 5/3/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on iMPACT!…” video.

“Hogan/Sting – The Summit”

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff talk while riding in a limo.

iMPACT! open, pyro and ballyhoo, Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  I’m sure David Penzer is around somewhere as ring announcer.  Tenay announces that iMPACT! is going back to Thursday.  I guess it took their lowest rating ever to convince them that Monday was a bad idea.

Ric Flair’s music plays.  Jay Lethal comes out in a suit, wearing Flair’s Hall of Fame ring.  Lethal is in full Flair impersonation mode, and it’s GREAT.  He does a better Ric Flair than Richard Fliehr.  The crowd turns it in and chants “WE WANT FLAIR!”  Ric Flair comes out.  Crowd chants “DOUBLE VISION!”  Flair stomps on his own sunglasses, I guess to make a point.  Lethal gives Flair his ring back and tells him he meant no disrespect.  Lethal puts over Flair like crazy.  Flair slaps him a bunch while berating him.  Lethal finally slaps him back and they brawl a little.  Lethal backdrops Flair and puts him in the figure-four leglock.  Beer Money, AJ Styles, and Desmond Wolfe run in to attack Lethal.  Abyss runs out to make the save, but gets beaten down too.  Team 3D runs in with the same effect.  TNA World Champion Rob Van Dam and a steel chair finally make the save.

Hogan and Bischoff are in their limo still.  Hogan gets a text about what just happened and tells the driver to turn around.

Moments ago, that long paragraph above happened.

The babyfaces are still in the ring and the heels are on the ramp.  RVD calls them “the Four Horse’s Asses.”  Flair agrees and everybody brawls some more.  They brawl over the place.  Hulk Hogan comes out, so his limo must not have been far away.  He drops all of the heels with one punch except for the 120 year old Ric Flair.  Commercials.

The brawl is still going on.  Security finally gets off their asses and breaks it up.  Hogan books RVD vs. Wolfe for the title, Abyss vs. Styles, and Beer Money vs. 3D vs. The Motor City Machine Guns for tonight.

Sting is in the rafters.

The Beautiful People bitch about having to defend all the titles.  Lacey is still stupid.

Doug Williams and Brian Kendrick are in the ring.  Williams still has the X Division Championship belt.  He cuts a promo on the shitty way he was stripped of the title due to a volcano.  He also resents having to tag with “this crazed lunatic.”  Williams says he’ll face Kazarian for the title at Sacrifice.

Doug Williams & Brian Kendrick vs. Ink Inc.  Ink Inc. is the new team of Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal.  They have a title shot against TNA World Tag Team Champions Matt Morgan at Sacrifice.  Williams and Neal start.  Morgan joins Tenay and Taz at the table.  Kendrick beats on Neal.  Stuff happens.  The match is completely secondary to Morgan’s bitching.  Moore gets the tag and runs wild on Kendrick.  Morgan leaves.  Kendrick gets a schoolboy for 2.  Moore hits a neckbreaker.  Neal tags in and spears Kendrick for the pin in 3:05.  Williams and Kendrick argue.  Samoa Joe comes out and drops both of them, then gives Kendrick the Muscle Buster.  Joe teases cutting a promo, then just throws the mic down and leaves.  Stupid match, stupid commentary, stupid aftermath, stupid segment.

Jeremy Borash is in Team Flair’s locker room.  Flair throws Borash out, so Borash eavesdrops while Flair bitches at everybody for being failures.

Backstage, Hogan whines about Sting cheating on him, or what the fuck ever it is.

Tenay and Taz hype the Hogan/Sting whatever and other shit.

Backstage, Ken Anderson beats up The Pope while wearing a dress, then rams a trunk into him and steals his sunglasses.

Ken Anderson comes out in his dress and babbles out a pseudo-sermon.  Jeff Hardy comes out and challenges Anderson for Sacrifice.  Anderson says no, then makes it blatantly obvious that he’s going to try to attack Jeff from behind, then gets dropped by the Twist of Fate.  Hardy rips Anderson’s dress off, then works Anderson’s mouth to “accept” the challenge.  Fucking retarded segment.

TNA Knockouts Championship & TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: The Beautiful People (c) vs. Tara, Taylor Wilde, & Sarita.  Jobber entrances for the challengers.  Tara is in full heel mode.  Lacey is in full dumb bimbo mode.  Tara does the suplex into the guillotine.  Lacey throws a kick that fails, then dances.  Sarita tags in.  Velvet tags in and beats her up.  Sarita does some sloppy stuff.  Wilde tags in and Sarita backdrops her into a moonsault on Velvet for 2.  Velvet drops Wilde and tags in Rayne.  Wilde hits a sloppy release German suplex.  Tara screams for the tag, gets it, then Sarita blind tags herself in.  Tara decks Sarita.  Tara and Wilde argue and shove each other.  They go out of the ring.  Velvet and Lacey hit a double DDT on Sarita.  Rayne pins Sarita in 2:54.  Fucking abortion.

Still to come, Styles vs. Abyss and Wolfe vs. RVD.

Christy Hemme interviews Tara.  She challenges Rayne for the title at Sacrifice with Tara’s career on the line.

Three-Way Match: Team 3D vs. Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns.  Beer Money and Guns both get jobber entrances.  Roode beats up Sabin.  Sabin does some flips and hits Roode with a kick for 2.  Storm and Shelley tag in.  Guns double team Storm.  Devon tags in and beats on Storm.  Storm hits a Codebreaker on Devon.  Beer Money work over Devon.  BEER!  MONEY!  Ray tags in and runs wild.  WASSUP headbutt on Roode.  Kevin Nash and Scott Hall come in and attack 3D for the DQ in 3:56.  Eric Young comes out with a Singapore cane, then to the shock of absolutely no one, turns on 3D and joins The Band.  The Guns come back in.  Shelley throws Young out of the ring.  Guns beat up Nash and Hall!  Beer Money beat up the Guns and hit the DWI on Sabin.  The heels beat down the babyfaces.

TNA’s cuts to commercial are very awkward.

David Penzer introduces Orlando Jordan, who gets on his “O-Zone” talk show set.  This is gayer than two guys blowing each other.  He interviews a cardboard cutout of Rob Terry.  Terry finally comes in, shoves Jordan down, tears up the cutout, and warns Jordan not to make him come back.  Terry holds up the Global Championship belt.  Jordan attacks Terry from behind and chokes him out.  Jordan throws a stupid vase thing on top of Terry.  Fuck this shit.

Monster’s Ball Match: AJ Styles vs. Abyss.  Styles springboards to the outside.  Abyss catches him and goes for a chokeslam.  Fails.  AJ throws a trash can.  Abyss throws AJ into the ring.  Abyss hits a big boot, then holds up a crutch.  AJ kicks him.  AJ avoids a chair shot.  Abyss punches him.  Abyss picks up the chair again.  AJ hits the Pele and a dropkick, then beats down Abyss.  Abyss sends AJ into a chair wedged between the turnbuckles, then hits the Shock Treatment for 2.  Abyss pours out thumbtacks.  Ric Flair and Chelsea come out.  Flair tells her to take her coat off.  Abyss tries to protect her and gets hit from behind by AJ.  Abyss sends Styles to the outside.  Styles hits a springboard cross body into the tacks for the pin in 4:11.  Chelsea opens her coat to reveal… her dress.  Flair and Styles put the boots to Abyss.  Another awkard cut to commercial.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea).  Jobber entrance for Wolfe.  Wolfe attacks RVD on the outside immediately.  Wolfe beats up RVD back in the ring.  RVD blocks a suplex attempt.  Wolfe beats him up some more.  Cover gets 2.  Wolfe hits the Divorce Court for 2.  RVD hits the flying kick and the Rolling Thunder, then goes up top.  Wolfe cuts him off and goes for the Tower of London.  He tries again on the apron.  RVD counters and hits a springboard kick on the ramp.  ROB!  VAN!  DAM!  RVD backdrops Wolfe back into the ring, then hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 3:01, just so we all know Wolfe is a jobber.  AJ Styles sneak attacks RVD and says he’s taking his rematch at Sacrifice.

Backstage, Hulk Hogan finds that Jeff Jarrett has been clobbered by Sting.  Commercials.

Hulk Hogan comes out and babbles.  Sting comes out.  Hogan wants to know why Sting turned heel.  Sting says “Total Nonstop Action,” then babbles for a while about Hogan being protected, or something.  They banter.  Hogan challenges Sting to hit him.  Jeff Jarrett comes out, takes the bat, and hits Sting.  Hogan holds him back.  End of show.

That’s it.  Fuck this show.  I’m done.