Archive for Money In The Bank

WWE SummerSlam 2012

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2012 by Chui

New WWE open, which debuted on the 1,000th Raw.  Intro video for the 25th SummerSlam, which isn’t the 25th anniversary, but is billed as such because WWE doesn’t know how anniversaries work.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Los Angeles!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream at us.  I guess that means Ziggler vs. Jericho is up first.  They show clips of Ziggler winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match last month.  Jericho comes out and they show a clip of Ziggler injuring Jericho’s ribs this past Smackdown.  Justin Roberts is a ring announcer.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho.  Jericho is sporting taped ribs from the aforementioned attack.  Ziggler runs around the ring and Jericho gives chase.  Back inside, Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and beats him up a bit.  Ziggler does a drop down and a leap frog, but Jericho catches him with a chop.  Ziggler avoids a suplex and attacks the injured ribs.  Jericho gets a reprieve by back body dropping Ziggler to the floor.  He goes for his rebound dropkick to the apron, but fails and eats the floor as Ziggler makes it back into the ring.  Ziggler continues to punish the ribs.  Vickie is obnoxious at ringside.  Ziggler hits a Rude Awakening, complete with gyrating hips, then pulls a Jericho classic on foot cover for 2.  Jericho gets whipped into the ropes, but catches Ziggler with a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler charges Jericho in the corner, eats it, and Jericho gets a brief flurry.  Ziggler charges the corner again and eats Jericho’s boot.  Jericho follows with a diving elbow smash.  Ziggler sends Jericho into the post, then hits the Fameasser for 2.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, fails, but lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Ziggler avoids Jericho in the corner, jumps on his back, and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Jericho backs Ziggler into the corner to escape.  Ziggler kicks him in the ribs and goes up top.  Jericho cuts him off, pounds on him, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner~!  Delayed cover gets 2.  Ziggler catches Jericho out of nowhere with a swank DDT for 2.  They trade shots.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault.  Ziggler catches him in the injured ribs with raised knees, then hits the Zig Zag, but Jericho kicks out!  Jericho catches Ziggler with the Codebreaker.  Ziggler rolls to the floor.  Jericho throws Ziggler back into the ring.  Vickie grabs Jericho’s leg, allowing Ziggler to get an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho sends Ziggler into the post and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Ziggler taps in 13:06.  Yes, Jericho won, but is this really “the big one?”  It made sense when Jericho did this angle with The Rock in 2001 and won the World title, but is the opening match of SummerSlam the same thing?  Good match, though.

Slim Jim commercial.

Los Angeles!

They show Brock Lesnar destroying Shawn Michaels on Raw last week.

Matt Striker interviews Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman.  Well, Paul does all of the talking.

Lillian Garcia is also a ring announcer.  The Spanish announcers, Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez, are present as well.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Kane has his dukes up, which amuses me.  Bryan kicks at the larger man’s legs.  Kane catches a kick and throws him down.  Bryan avoids an elbow and kicks him some more.  Kane punches him a bit.  Bryan backflips off the top rope, then gets slammed for 2.  Kane stomps Bryan in the corner.  Fans are chanting for Bryan.  Bryan fails at a reverse cradle and eats a big boot.  Cover gets 2 for Kane.  Bryan kicks at Kane’s knee some more.  Kane nonchalantly choke throws Bryan out of the ring.  Bryan gets back in as Kane comes out and takes him out with a tope suicide.  Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Bryan lands more kicks as the crowd chants “YES!”  Kane ducks a critical blow and lands a clothesline.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam.  Bryan counters out and rolls to the apron, pulls Kane’s head over the top rope, then comes back in to eat a punch.  Bryan slaps Kane defiantly.  Kane beats the crap out of him in the corner until the referee forces a break.  Bryan takes the opportunity and goes on the offensive.  He goes for the LeBell/Yes/No Lock, fails, and settles for kicking Kane in the chest.  He gets annoyed at the “YES!” chants and goes for the diving headbutt.  Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam.  Instead of covering, he signals for the Tombstone.  Bryan counters it into an inside cradle for the pin in 8:03!  Bryan wins!  YES!  YES!  YES!  Fun little match.

Kane, pissed that lost, rampages around backstage.  Josh Matthews tries to interview him, but Kane grabs him by the throat, yells “WHERE?!  IS?!  HE?!” and throws him away, then continues his rampage.

Don’t drink and drive.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  I think Mysterio’s costume is supposed to be Batman.  They lock up.  Miz lands a shoulder block.  Mysterio sits up and kind of stares at him.  They do a bit of wrestling that ends in Rey getting a near fall and Miz taking a quick powder.  Miz comes back in and gets to stompin’.  Rey hits a flying headscissors.  Miz throws Rey out of the ring.  Rey slides back in as Miz slides out, then dropkicks Miz through the ropes.  Miz sends Rey torso-first into the barricade.  Back inside, Miz goes to work.  Rey counters a backdrop and gets a 2 count.  Miz catches Rey with that lucha-style backbreaker that Jericho does on Rey for 2.  Miz beats on Rey some more.  Rey tries to make a comeback, but eats a clothesline, which gets a 2 count for Miz.  Miz hits his corner clothesline and goes up top, but Rey dropkicks Miz, crotching h im on the top turbuckle.  Rey hits the diving seated senton and goes for a rana, but Miz catches him with a powerbomb for 2.  Rey ducks a kick and gets a cradle for 2, then kicks Miz in the head for another 2.  Combine the two, and he got a 4 count, so he almost won under Canadian rules.  Rey hits a whirly DDT for 2.  Rey goes up top again, but gets caught.  Rey fights Miz off and hits a diving headscissors, which puts Miz into 619 position.  Rey hits the 619 and goes for the diving splash, but Miz avoids it.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey turns it into a cradle for 2.  Miz launches Rey into the turnbuckles, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 9:10.  It was okay, but I never really got into it.

Plug for the WWE iPhone/Android app.  I downloaded it.  It’s not that interesting.

Teddy Long and Eve Torres walk out of the GM’s office and talk about how quirky AJ Lee is.  They walk away and WWE Champion CM Punk walks into the office.  He complains to AJ about being in a Triple Threat Match tonight.  She just cocks her head and stares off into space, ignoring him.

Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship match.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio.  They lock up.  Del Rio backs Sheamus into the corner.  Repeat.  They tumble out of the ring together and brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Sheamus hits the Finlay Roll for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but fails.  He ends up getting Del Rio up on his shoulders as Del Rio exposes the turnbuckle.  Sheamus counters the Minoru Special and misses the Brogue Kick.  Del Rio kicks Sheamus off the apron, then sends him knee first into the steps.  Back inside, Del Rio clamps on a rear chin lock.  Sheamus escapes and goes for another neckbreaker, but Del Rio kicks him in the knee, then in the head for 2.  They fight some more.  Del Rio is wearing black gear that looks reall weird on him for some reason.  He taunts Sheamus by doing the “Brogue!” taunt.  He teases a Brogue Kick, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Del Rio sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post.  Sheamus tries to go up top, but gets cut off.  Del Rio hits an arm breaker (pulling the knees into the arm) off the top for 2.  There has to be a better name for that move.  Del Rio goes for his move, but Sheamus counters.  Del Rio counters the counter and hits the Minoru Special.  Sheamus powers up and slams Del Rio down.  Sheamus hits the White Noise (Schwein) for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Del Rio avoids him.  Sheamus clubbers Del Rio in the chest.  Why hasn’t the referee fixed that exposed turnbuckle?  Oh, I see.  Del Rio drops Sheamus into the exposed buckle, then hits an enzuigiri, but Sheamus kicks out!  Del Rio roughs up Ricardo just because he’s a dick.  Sheamus hits Del Rio with Ricardo’s shoe, then hits the White Noise for the pin in 11:24, even though Del Rio’s foot was on the bottom rope.  That’s actually the finish?  Okay then.  Del Rio and Ricardo bitch at the referee, and rightfully so.  This match did not click with me at all.

Plug for the National Guard, or rather, how great WWE is for supporting the National Guard.

Cole and Lawler plug Night of Champions.

On the pre-show, Triple H told referee Scott Armstrong to not DQ or count anyone out tonight in his match with Brock Lesnar.

Last week on Raw, the Prime Time Players beat up R-Truth while Kofi Kingston was in China, then Touted about it.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (c) vs. The Prime Time Players.  Truth beats up Young to start.  O’Neil tags in and drops Truth with a boot, barks, and covers for 2.  Kofi tags in and keeps O’Neil off balance with his speed.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Young distracts him.  Heel chicanery on the outside leads to the Players getting the advantage.  Kofi plays face in peril.  Young looks like he’s trying to get Kofi in some retarded triangle choke.  It fails completely, but he continues to put a beating on Kofi.  O’Neil tags in and applies an abdominal stretch.  Kofi turns a spinning slam into a spike DDT.  Truth gets the hot tag and runs wild on Darren Young.  Truth hits a front suplex.  Cover, but O’Neil saves.  O’Neil throws Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi skins the cat, low bridges him out, and takes him out with a dive.  Truth thinks about a dive, but Young schoolboys him for 2.  Young goes for something and fails, and Truth hits the Paydirt, whatever he’s calling it this week, for the pin in 7:07.  Players are nothing without AW.  This match was pretty close to nothing, too.

Axxess clips.

Punk/Cena/Show hype video.

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show.  Big Show beats up everyone to start.  Punk seems to be channeling Bret Hart with his pink gear.  Cena and Punk unite to try to suplex Show, but Show suplexes both of them at the same time.  Show wins on them some more.  Cena gets tossed out of the ring by Show and Punk makes a comeback until he stupidly goes for the Go 2 Sleep and fails.  Cena tries to give Show the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk pushes them over.  Punk covers Cena, but Show saves.  Show beats up Punk some more and throws Cena out of the ring again.  Punk avoids Show in the corner and goes for a springboard cross body, but Show catches him and hits the Final Cut.  Show signals for the KO punch, but Cena reappears and cuts him off.  Show spears Cena for 2.  Show goes for a Vader Bomb onto both opponents, but Punk avoids it and Cena takes the full brunt.  Punk breaks Show’s cover.  Show throws Punk out of the ring, then goes after Cena on the other side.  Punk tries a dive, but Show catches him and launches him into the ropes from the outside.  Awesome.  Show and Cena go at it in the ring.  Punk pulls Show’s head over the top rope, allowing Cena to hit a backdrop suplex.  LA crowd doesn’t like Cena.  Cena signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Punk cuts him off.  Punk hits the diving elbow drop on Show.  Cover, but Show throws him across the ring at 2.  Punk kicks Show in the head and locks in the Koji Clutch, of all things.  Show breaks out.  Punk takes a powder.  Cena hits Show with a shoulder block and locks in the STF.  Show stands and backs Cena into the corner.  Cena goes for a dive, but Show catches and slams him.  Punk drops Show with a diving lariat and hits him with 3 running knees to the corner, but Show counters the bulldog.  Cena hits Show with the diving Fameasser, but ends up on the apron.  Punk locks Show in the Koji Clutch.  Cena also applies the STF.  Show taps.  The referee calls for the bell, but there are 2 winners.  Cena and Punk argue with the referee.  Raw GM AJ Lee skips out and rules that the match must continue.  Show immediately chokeslams both me.  Cover on Cena gets 2.  Cover on Punk gets 2.  Cena ducks the KO punch and hits Show with the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk throws Cena out of the ring and pins Show in 14:28.  Very enjoyable match.  Punk celebrates.

Los Angeles!

Celebrities are here!  Including former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette and WrestleMania participant Maria Menounos (sporting a Bob Backlund shirt).

Trailer for WWE Films’ latest, The Day.

On the preshow, Antonio Cesaro beat Santino Marella for the WWE United States Championship, with help from Aksana.

Kevin Ruldolf (who?) performs the SummerSlam theme song.  People Dance like idiots.  The divas come out to dance: Tamina, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Aksana, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Cameron, Naomi, Layla, Rosa Mendez, and Alicia Fox.

Los Angeles.

Triple H/Lesnar hype video.

Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H.  Brock immediately powers Triple H into the corner.  Hunter comes back with punches.  Brock repeats and goes for the Kimura.  Triple H counters.  Brock beats him in the corner some more and goes for it again.  He gets a standing version, but Hunter is in the ropes.  Triple H fights back and clotheslines Brock out of the ring.  Brock comes back in and beats up Triple H in the corner some more.  Hunter lands a knee lift and clotheslines Brock out of the ring again.  Lesnar looks irked.  Brock comes back in and takes off his gloves.  It’s a bare knuckle fight now!  Brock gets a double leg takedown and pummels Triple H with a few punches.  Hunter bails, selling a punch to the back of the head.  They brawl outside.  Brock gives Hunter a hammerlock slam onto the announce table.  The brawl some more back inside.  Brock delivers another hammerlock slam.  Brock continues working the arm.  Triple H counters an F-5 attempt, but Brock hits him with a BIG German suplex.  Brock stomps Triple H’s arm again.  Triple H tries to bail, gets caught, and pulls Brock against the top rope.  Hunter manages to score with a DDT.  Brock immediately goes after the arm again.  I always enjoy a hammerlock slam, and Brock is dishing them out liberally tonight.  They go outside and Lesnar sends Triple H into the post.  They wreck the Spanish announce table.  Brock actually jumps off of it and hits Triple H with a big chop.  Back in the ring, Triple H tries to fight back.  Lesnar gets an inside cradle of all things for 2.  Lesnar hits a clothesline and goes for a suplex, but Hunter counters and suplexes him.  Lesnar clotheslines the turnbuckle.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but fails, gets whipped into the corner, and does the Michaels flip out of the ring.  Brock takes a shot into the announce table on his stomach and starts dry heaving.  The announcers talk about his issues with diverticulitis.  Hunter goes after the midsection.  He hits some knee lifts to the stomach.  Triple H hits the spinebuster and goes for the Pedigree.  Lesnar counters and goes for the F-5.  Triple H counters and hits the Pedigree, but Lesnar kicks out.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Lesnar hits him square in the balls.  The referee, per Hunter’s request, is letting it go.  Lesnar hits the F-5, but Triple H kicks out.  Lesnar locks on the standing Kimura again.  Triple H tries to fight out, but Lesnar goes to the ground with it.  Triple H gets the ropes, but the ref isn’t enforcing the rules.  Hunter fights out of the hold.  Hunter hits the Pedigree and goes for the cover, but Lesnar gets the Kimura again.  Triple H taps in 18:45.  I’m absolutely shocked that they did the right thing and put Lesnar over.  The match was an intense brawl, but not on the level of Lesnar/Cena.  I’ll give it a thumbs slightly up.  Lesnar leaves.  Hunter refuses medical attention.  Fans chant “YOU TAPPED OUT!”, which is probably not what WWE was going for with this.  Hunter mouths “I’m sorry” and leaves to a mixture of boos and polite applause.

This show started well, dipped really low in the middle, peaked with the triple threat match, and ended okay.  I’d say the show as a whole is thumbs in the middle.


WWE Money In The Bank 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2011 by Chui

It’s been a bit.  Let’s see if I remember how to do one of these.

WWE open, AWESOME PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Chicago.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcer.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Sin Cara vs. Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Everybody brawls.  The big guys (Kane, Barrett, and Sheamus) clear the ring and brawl amongst themselves.  Kane clotheslines the others out of the ring, then tries to bring in a ladder.  Bryan dropkcks it into him.  Slater and Gabriel do the same to Bryan.  Cara tries to do the same to them, but they duck and nail him with the ladder.  Slater gets the ladder in the ring and sets it up.  Gabriel knocks him off and walks the ladder toward the center.  Bryan dropkicks him off.  Rhodes throws Bryan into the ladder.  He tries to climb, but Sheamus cuts him off and goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Rhodes counters, goes for the Beautiful Disaster, and hits Slater with it.  Sheamus uses the ladder to beat up Rhodes.  Kane throws Sheamus and Rhodes out of the ring.  Barrett jumps Kane.  Kane rallies and disposes of Barrett, then beats up Slater.  Kane goes up top, but Cara knocks him down with a kick.  Gabriel drops Cara.  Bryan ducks Gabriel and hits a tope suicida on somebody.  Gabriel, Slater, and Cara all hit dives too.  Cara, Gabriel, and Slater do stuff in the ring.  Cara gets rid of both of them.  Bryan appears on the top rope.  Cara hits him with a kick, then hits a one-man Spanish Fly off the top rope.  Cara goes out for a ladder, but Barrett boots him down.  Barrett builds a ladder bridge from the apron to the Spanish table.  Uh oh.  Barrett misses Sin Cara and accidentally clotheslines the post.  Cara goes back in the ring and eats a brogue kick from Sheamus.  Sheamus powerbombs Cara off the apron through the ladder bridge.  Fucking ouch.  Sheamus beats up more people with a ladder.  Cara is stretchered out.  Kane and Sheamus brawl in the ring.  Bryan, Kane, and Rhodes all bring in ladders, then drop them and start brawling.  Kane takes them both out and climbs the ladder.  The former members of The Corre cut him off.  Rhodes takes advantage of the distraction to climb the ladder.  The ex-Corre cut him off too.  Bryan climbs and gets the same treatment.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  His former teammates cut him off and beat him up, then throw him out of the ring.  Gabriel and Slater climb the ladder and fight over the briefcase.  Rhodes knocks the ladder over and gives Slater the Cross Rhodes.  Rhodes climbs the ladder.  Barrett cuts him off.  Rhodes gives him the Cross Rhodes too.  Rhodes climbs the ladder again.  Sheamus cuts him off and hits the uranage backbreaker.  Bryan cuts off Sheamus and rams his head into the ladder.  Sheamus and Kane hit Bryan with a Doomsday Device!  Sheamus and Kane brawl.  Kane eventually takes him out, then chokeslams Rhodes, then chokeslams Gabriel.  Kane climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off.  Kane tries to chokeslam him, but Bryan turns it into some kind of arm lock.  Bryan dives at Kane, gets caught, but somehow turns it to his advantage.  Slater climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off too.  Slater hits a neckbreaker off the ladder.  Slater climbs again, but Barrett cuts him off.  Barrett crotches Slater on the top turnbuckle, then beats up Sheamus.  Barrett brings a third ladder into the ring.  Barrett and Sheamus hit Slater with it, then launch him to the floor.  Sheamus hits Barrett and Rhodes with brogue kicks, then hits Gabriel with a Polish Hammer.  Sheamus drops Gabriel face first across the ladder, then gives him a brogue kick.  Sheamus climbs the ladder.  Kane comes up the other side and brawls with him.  Kane chokeslams Sheamus off the ladder into another ladder.  Ouch.  Barrett, Rhodes, and Bryan attack Kane.  Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Barrett hits the Wasteland.  Gabriel hits Kane with the 450 splash in an impressively small space.  Barrett gives Gabriel the Wasteland out of the ring onto Slater.  Barrett drops Bryan and gives Rhodes a pumphandle slam.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  Rhodes pulls him down and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Bryan climbs the ladder.  Rhodes tries to stop him, but gets elbowed in the face.  They fight up the ladder.  Barrett climbs up the other side and tries to take the briefcase.  Bryan guillotines Rhodes, then elbows Barrett in the face.  Barrett sets up Bryan for the Wasteland.  Bryan counters with the elbow flurry, then drops Barrett with a kick.  Bryan gets the briefcase in 24:26.  BRYAN WINS~!  HOLY SHIT!  Great match.  Bryan gets the honor of being the first guy to cash in and fail.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon, Johnny Ace, and some lawyer arrived.


WWE Divas Championship Match: Kelly Kelly (c) (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella).  Kelly slaps Brie and goes on the attack.  Kelly tries a headscissors, fucks it up horrible, and sort of recovers.  Brie goes to confer with her twin.  Kelly hits them both with a dive.  Back inside, Kelly sort of goes for a tarantula and gets sent face first into the floor.  Nikki puts the boots to Kelly behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, Brie goes beats up Kelly for a while.  Kelly makes her comeback and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Brie blocks the Rocker Dropper.  Kelly blocks a backslide.  Cover gets 2.  Brie DDTs Kelly’s foot.  Cover gets 2.  I’m fucking serious.  Kelly hits the Rocker Dropper for the pin in 4:48.  It wasn’t the worst match I’ve ever seen.

SummerSlam commercial.

Big Show/Mark Henry hype video.

Mark Henry vs. The Big Show.  The two big bruisers tear into each other.  Show hits Henry with a shoulder block and Henry rolls to the floor.  They brawl at ringside.  Henry dropkicks the steps into Show’s knee.  Back inside, Henry goes to work on the knee.  Show fight out of a half crab.  Henry squashes Show in the corner.  He tries it again, but is met with a boot.  Show dives off the bottom rope and hits Henry with a shoulder block.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Henry takes out his knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for 2.  Henry hits another World’s Strongest Slam and 2 big splashes for the pin in 5:58.  It was okay.  After the match, Henry gets a chair and Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show is driven out on a letter stretcher cart thingy.

Vince McMahon complains to Johnny Ace backstage.  Josh Matthews comes in and asks him of he’s resigned CM Punk.  Vince says no, then bitches about Punk being an ingrate.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Everybody grabs a ladder during their entrance and brings it into the ring, so we start with a ladder fight.  Del Rio is buried under ladder at ringside.  They even have mini ladders.  Bourne and Kofi brawl atop a mini ladder, then used it to hit people.  Rey takes Swagger out of the ring with a rana.  Riley drops Truth’s balls in a ladder, then hits him with a knee.  Riley climbs up the midget ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  This is stupid.  Riley takes out Miz and Swagger with a dive.  Truth break dances and hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop onto the pile.  Mysterio and Kofi hit stereo dives off the top rope.  Bourne hits a Shooting Star press off of a ladder onto everyone.  Bourne goes back into the ring and climbs a proper ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  They fight on top.  Del Rio pushes the ladder over.  Miz starts selling his knee.  Medics come out to check on him.  Del Rio climbs the ladder.  Truth stops him.  Miz is helped to the back.  Truth climbs the ladder.  Del Rio climbs the other side.  Bourne and Mysterio climb over them, but are pulled down.  They both hit Frankensteiners.  Swagger drops Bourne and Truth.  Kofi springboards over Swagger and climbs the ladder.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Riley climbs the ladder.  Swagger notices and brawls with him top of the ladder.  Truth pushes it over.  A ladder bridge gets set up in the corner.  Kofi, Truth, and Rey do some stuff with it.  Kofi comes off of it with a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Del Rio charges Kofi, but ends up diving under the ladder to the floor.  More ladder spots.  Swagger gets hit in the face with one.  Mysterio gives Truth a 619.  Riley and Mysterio fight on top of the ladder.  There are a bunch of ladders in the ring now.  Everybody climbs up and tries to get the briefcase.  Del Rio takes a face bump into the ladder bridge.  Guys continue brawling up top.  Bourne takes a bump off a ladder to the floor.  Kofi ends up on top alone.  Swagger makes it back in to cut him off.  They both fall to the floor.  Miz hobbles back down to a big pop and goes for the briefcase.  Mysterio cuts him off and gets booed.  Mysterio powerbombs Miz to the crown.  Del Rio cuts off Mysterio from getting the briefcase.  Mysterio says “fuck that” and knocks him down.  Del Rio climbs the opposite side of the ladder.  Mysterio hits him with the briefcase.  Del Rio takes Mysterio’s mask off.  A bunch of ladders fall over.  Del Rio climbs back up and takes it in 15:52.  Fun match, but nowhere near the Smackdown ladder match.

WrestleMania travel package advertisement.


Randy Orton/Christian hype video.

Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is mad that he had to be in Money In The Bank after winning a #1 Contender Match a couple of weeks ago.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian.  Orton can lose the title by DQ.  Christian brings a chair into the ring in an attempt to get Orton to get himself DQ’d.  Orton teases it, then throws the chair out of the ring.  Christian shaves Orton.  Orton decks him and kicks his ass.  Christian fights back, but eats a clothesline.  This is a heel crowd tonight.  They’re booing Orton.  Orton slides back into the ring to avoid a dive, then throws Christian into the steps.  Back inside, Christian rallies and hits the diving elbow smash for 2.  Christian beats on Orton for a time.  Orton awesomely avoids Christian in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Christian hits a spinebuster for 2.  Orton counters the Killswitch and clotheslines Christian, sending them both to the floor.  Back inside, Orton gets a jackknife hold for 2, then hits a Lou Thesz press.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Christian counters.  Christian dives at Orton, but gets caught with a dropkick.  Cover gets 2.  Orton goes for a superplex, but Christian knocks him down and hits a diving headbutt for 2.  Orton makes a comeback, but Christian cuts him off and hits the Killswitch for 2.  Christian goes for a spear, but Orton leapfrogs him and hits a swank gutwrench into a neckbreaker.  Orton goes for the punt, misses, and hits a powerslam.  He hits the DDT OF MURDER on the second try, then humps the mat.  Christian spits in Orton’s face.  Orton gets pissed off and beats on him.  Orton kicks Christian straight in the balls to cause the DQ and lose the title in 12:19.  Christian is crowned champion.  Orton kicks his ass at ringside.  Teddy Long comes down to try to settle Orton down.  Orton gives Christian the RKO on the Spanish announce table.  Orton starts to leave, then comes back down to a big pop and gives Christian another RKO on the table.

Skittles commercial.

SummerSlam commercial again.

John Cena/CM Punk hype video.

CM Punk comes out to an insanely loud hero’s welcome in his home town.  Cena comes out to the loudest fucking boos I’ve ever heard.  He’s all business tonight and even has the belt around his waist.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk.  They lock up and trade holds.  Cena ducks a high kick.  Man, this crowd is hot.  Cena gets a takedown.  They trade holds some more.  Punk hits a big hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover.  They counters each others’ finish.  Punk lands some kicks.  Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2, then grabs a headlock and works it.  Punk escapes and gets a 2 count.  There’s a high pitched “LET’S GO CENA” chant alternating with a much deeper “CENA SUCKS!” chant.  Cena hits a Fisherman suplex for 2.  Lawler just said he didn’t think there was a single Cena fan in the arena, so he didn’t just hear those loud ass chants.  Punk hits a DDT for 2, then applies a headscissors.  Punk escapes an Attitude Adjustment predicament and throws Cena to the floor.  Punk sets Cena in the apron and hits a diving enzui knee drop!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena goes for the STF and fails.  Punk clamps on a rear chin lock.  Punk hits a diving cross body to Cena’s knee for 2.  Cena sells the knee.  Punk tries to suplex Cena in from the apron, but Cena suplexes Punk to the floor!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena hits an elbow drop for 2.  Cena hits a nifty suplex/powerslam for 2.  Punk lands some punches to big cheers.  Cena locks in an abdominal stretch to boos.  Punk escapes with a hip toss.  Double knockdown spot.  Cena starts his comeback, but Punk catches him with a schoolboy for 2.  Cena concludes his comeback and goes for the “You can’t see me” gesture, but Punk kicks him in the head, knocks him to the floor, and hits a tope suicida!  Back inside, Punk goes for the springboard lariat, but Cena avoids it.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk sort of lands on his feet and lands a flurry of kicks for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Punk counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits 2 knee strikes and a bulldog headlock.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk lands more kicks.  Cena locks in the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick for 2.  Punk hits a diving cross body.  Cena rolls through, lifts him, and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF again.  Punk escapes and locks in the Anaconda Vice!  Cena fights out and hits the Attitude Adjustment for 2.  Cena comes off the top rope, but Punk sort of counters into a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Punk signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Cena drops to the apron and pulls Punk’s head across the top rope.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment again, and PUNK KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Cena tries to set up a SUPER ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Punk clubbers Cena’s head with elbows!  Punk hits a top rope Frankensteiner.  Cena rolls to the ropes.  Punk hits the running knee and the Go 2 Sleep, but only catches Cena in the middle.  Cena falls out of the ring.  Punk throws Cena back in the ring.  Vince McMahon and Johnny Ace come out.  Cena locks Punk in the STF.  Vince tries to call for the bell.  He sends Ace to do his bidding, but Cena decks him.  Cena yells at Vince that he can win this himself.  He goes after Punk, but Punk catches him and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin to win the title at 33:44.  Great pro wrestling match right here, kids.  Punk celebrates with the belt.  Vince looks almost as morose as Dana White did after Brock Lesnar lost the UFC Heavyweight title.  Vince takes King’s headset and yells at someone to send Alberto Del Rio out here.  Del Rio runs out.  Punk kills him with a high kick.  Punk blows Vince a kiss and leaves through the crowd with his belt.  What will happen next as the WWE Universe Turns?

Really good show with a couple of great matches.

WWE WrestleMania XXV (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, then an awesome WrestleMania opening video where various wrestlers talk what they think is the greatest WrestleMania moment of all time, then comments on the big matches tonight.

Howard Finkel welcomes us to the *sigh* 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.  I’m not even going to get into that today.  The Fink then introduces Nicole Somethingorother from the Pussycat Dolls, who sings a horrible rendition of “America The Beautiful.”

The Army National Guard presents WrestleMania!  “Shoot To Thrill” plays, fireworks, and Jim Ross welcomes us to WrestleMania.  Wow, I feel really welcome with all of these welcomes.  Justin Roberts introduces our first match, the Money In The Bank Lader Match!  Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole are doing a three-man commentary team tonight.  Also, we finally have the long awaited return of the Spanish announce table!  Carlos and Hugo are back, baby!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle and rocking the old school Belfast Bruiser vest thingy) vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane.  Christian’s entrance is the only one to get an audible pop from the huge crowd.  On TV, anyway.  According to people who were there, the crowd was way hotter live than it appeared on TV, so maybe there was some audio trouble or something.  Enough of that, on to the match!  Bell rings, everybody pairs off and brawls.  Kane and Henry go at it.  Maybe they’ll take each other to prevent them from dragging the match down.  Christian and Benjamin take them down with a ladder, then try to take out Kofi.  Kofi leapfrogs the ladder, then dropkicks it and legdrops the ladder with both the guys under it.  “Controlled frenzy” line from Cole.  The ladder gets set up and Kane and Henry climb it.  Other guys come in and take the big dudes out, then they all climb a couple of ladders.  Kane and Henry come back in and push the two ladders over, then fight each other again.  Kane knocks Henry down and throws one of the ladders out of the ring, then climbs the other.  Henry comes in and tips the ladder over to send Kane crashing.  Finlay comes in and takes out Henry, who throws the ladder out.  Finlay lands a tope suicida on Kane and Benjamin.  Christian follows with his own dive, followed by MVP, then stereo dives from Punk and Kofi.  Benjamin hits a fucking insane dive off of a tall ladder in the aisle onto the pile of guys.  “HOLY SHIT” chant.  Henry teases diving, but Henry whacks him with the stick.  Hornswoggle sets up a step ladder and Finlay helps him climb onto Henry, then dive onto the pile.  The video was skipping, so I think my DVD may have not burned properly.  Kofi does an awesome spot where he dropkicks Finlay through an open ladder.  Finlay nails him with the step ladder, then uses it to nail the other guys coming back in.  Finlay goes to make the climb, but Kofi kicks him off and climbs himself.  Henry comes in and pushes the ladder over.  The next awesome Kofi spot happens, where Henry is holding an unopened ladder vertically.  Kofi climbs it and gets caught by Henry, who transitions it into the World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder.  Henry climbs, but MVP comes and takes him down, then sets up another ladder between the set up ladder and the top rope.  Benjamin comes in and he and MVP do some crazy shit that ends with Shelton taking a powerbomb.  MVP climbs, Punk stops him.  Christian tries to stop him but gets knocked down, then gets back up on the horizontal ladder behind Punk.  They fight, then Christian hits a botched but cool Unprettier off the ladder.  MVP climbs up, but Benjamin sets up the crazy thing and runs up, then botches a sunset flip off the ladder and gets a “YOU FUCKED UP” chant.  Benjamin powerbombs MVP out of the ring onto Henry and Atlas.  Finlay and Benjamin both climb.  Shelton nails Finlay, who takes a bump on the horizontal ladder.  Christian comes in and fights with Benjamin.  Benjamin sets up the ladder that has been horizontal, so we now have two vertical ladders.  They climb, but the ladder falls over.  Benjamin spills out of the ring, but Christian catches the top rope with his foot in a cool Captain Morgan post and gets it straight again.  Punk tries to stop Christian, but gets his leg caught in the ladders.  Kane comes up and chokeslams Christian off the ladder (not as cool as it sounds).  Punk goes for the prize, but Kane goozles him.  Punk kicks Kane in the head to knock him down, then takes the briefcase of the win at 14:29.  That’s where I timed it, but my DVD did skip a bit so it probably is the 14:24 other reports have it as.  Fucking awesome match.  Kofi really shined here, but everyone had their moments.

Axxess highlights.

Kid Rock mini-concert.  He performs a medley of his songs consisting Bawitaba, some song I don’t know, Cowboy, All Summer Long, and So Hott.  During the last one, the 25 divas in the Battle Royal make their way to the ring.  The whole thing goes about 10 minutes.

Now I actually put some work into working out this clusterfuck of a match, so bear with me.

Divas Battle Royal featuring Kelly Kelly, WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Layla, Jillian Hall, Rosa Mendez, Maria, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Eve Torres, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Katie Lea, Sunny, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Joy Giovanni, Torrie Wilson, Alicia Fox, Tiffany Terrell, Victoria, and Santino Marella (in drag).  The bell rings and they start fighting while Roberts introduces the match.  Mae Young is at ringside with Candice Michelle as the guest timekeeper.  Now this clusterfuck is impossible to call live, but from my earlier research, the order of elimination is Layla, Joy, Rosa, Alicia, Sunny, Torrie, Jackie, Maria, Gail, Jillian, Eve, Tiffany, Kelly, Molly, Maryse, Katie Lea, Natalya, Victoria, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Michelle McCool… then the finish is Beth going for the Glam Slam on Melina, but Santino bundles them both out to win the match at 6:10.  Pointless, but at least we got to look at a bunch of hot chicks for a few minutes.  I can say that my ridiculously jealous wife is gone.  Candice comes in the ring to present the Miss WrestleMania crown and sash to the winner.  He introduces himself as “Santina, Santino’s twin sister from Italy.”  The announcers don’t even actually acknowledge that it’s Santino.  Beth looks on, pissed.

Jericho vs. Legends hype video, a lot of which is about Mickey Rourke.  They show Rourke taking his seat in the audience.

Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steaboat, Roddy Piper, & Jimmy Snuka (w/ Ric Flair).  Piper, who looks incredibly old, insists on starting.  He spits his gum at Jericho, then proceeds to kick his ass for the first few minutes, other than an embarrasing spot early on when Piper gets his arm stuck in the ropes.  Piper throws a half assed dropkick that only connects with one leg.  Snuka tags in and looks fucking terrible.  Steamboat tags in to a big pop and looks FUCKING AWESOME.  Steamboat nails a couple of GORGEOUS arm drags, causing me to mark out for an arm drag for the first time in my life.  Steamboat works the arm a bit, then tags Snuka back in.  They do a double chop and Snuka’s doesn’t even connect.  Jericho locks Snuka in the Walls of Jericho for the submission at 3:45.  Thank God.  He refuses to break the hold until Piper and Steamboat come in and force him.  There are some incidents of the audio going out for a second.  Piper goes after Jericho again, poking him in the eyes and locking in the sleeper hold.  Jericho escapes and hits an enzuigiri for the pin at 4:45.  Steamboat hits a sweet diving crossbody for a near fall.  Steamboat and Jericho go at it, and it’s awesome.  Jericho tosses Steamboat out and decks Flair as Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Steamboat sends Jericho out of the ring and dives onto him, then sends him back in and hits the diving karate chop.  More chops, then Steamboat gets a near fall with a reverse cradle.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, but Steamboat avoids it.  Steamboat catches Jericho with a powerslam for a near fall.  Jericho locks in the Walls, but Steamboat manages to counter out with an inside cradle for another near fall.  Jericho goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands on his feet.  Jericho catches the Codebreaker out of nowhere for the win at 8:57.  Snuka was awful.  Piper tried, but wasn’t good.  Steamboat was the fucking man and made the match.  Flair attacks Jericho after the match, but ends up taking a backdrop and eating the Codebreaker.  Jericho challenges Rourke.  Rourke stalls forever before finally getting in the ring.  They have an impromptu amateur boxing match which ends with Rourke catching Jericho with a left hand and knocking him down.  Flair comes in and celebrates with Rourke.  Another pointless waste of time.  The post-match stuff, not the match, though the match would have been MUCH better if it was just a Jericho/Steamboat singles match.

Army National Guard commercial.

The announcers chat a bit to introduce the Hardys video package.

Extreme Rules Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy.  Matt talks trash, then Jeff jumps on him and kicks his ass.  Jeff pulls a WrestleMania poster from under the ring and breaks it over Matt’s head, prompting a great line from Lawler: “Well, at least Matt finally got his face on the WrestleMania poster.”  Matt catches Jeff with a chair to the legs while Jeff was attempting the Whisper in the Wind, then moments later nailed him with a shop vac.  I was amused.  Matt hits the Side Effect on the chair for a near fall.  Ouch.  Matt sets up a table on the outside.  Logic says Matt will be the one to go through that table later on.  Matt takes a bump in the steps and the ref and trainer check on him.  Matt hits him with a Singapore cane, then puts a trash can over his head and hits him with a crutch.  Jeff hits a front suplex and goes up top, but Matt avoids the Swanton bomb.  Matt hits the Twist of Fate, but Jeff kicks out at two.  Jeff hits Matt with a chair, then sets him up on that table from earlier.  Jeff sets a chair on top of Matt, then sets another table on top of the table on which Matt is laying.  Jeff goes to the top rope and dives through the table.  Told ya so.  “HOLY SHIT” chant, but I’m pretty sure the top table actually made the spot safer.  Jeff puts Matt in the ring and covers, but Matt puts his foot on the bottom rope.  Jeff brings in a ladder, then sets up a chair and hits a leg drop off of it.  He sets up two ladders and does that “jump from the shorter ladder over the taller ladder and do a leg drop” spot, but Matt moves and Jeff dies.  Matt his a Twist of Fate using an open chair, which looks SICK, for the win at 13:15.  Good plunder match, and no doubt the best match they’ve ever had against each other.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.

Randy Orton is shown in his locker room with Legacy, getting ready.  At least Dibiase and Rhodes got a second of screen time.

Lillian Garcia introduces the first Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania in 7 years.  JBL comes down, cutting a promo about how he is returning to Texas as a champion and being the only hero Texas has, or something to that effect.  Mysterio makes his entrance with an awesome Heath Ledger Joker mask and outfit.  Lillian does the introductions in-ring, then JBL nails Mysterio with a big boot, then nails him with some punches.  The referee asks Mysterio if he still wants to wrestle.  He says he does, so we have…

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio ducks a kick and hits an enzuigiri, a dropkick, the 619, and the diving splash for the win in 21 seconds.  Mysterio celebrates and leaves with the gold.  JBL takes the microphone and quits, which makes the crowd pop big.  He leaves, yelling at the crowd that they’ll regret him leaving.

A nice shot of the Houston skyline.  A NASCAR driver is in the crowd.

Shawn/Taker video package.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker.  Here we go.  Awesome entrances, as Michaels descends from above, then Taker rises from the stage.  Bell rings.  Taker looks to throw punches, but Michaels ducks and lands his own blows.  Taker gets hold of Michaels and tosses him into the turnbuckle.  Michaels responds with a defiant crotch chop.  Michaels leap frogs Taker and pounces on him.  Taker finally manages to land some punches and hammers Michaels down.  Michaels answers with chops, but Taker throws him into the corner, then back body drops him.  Taker press slams Shawn and drops an elbow.  First cover of the match gets a one count.  Taker hits Old School.  Shawn chop blocks Taker to weaken his leg, then locks in the figure-four.  Taker throws some punches and manages to escape.  Taker kicks Shawn’s ass for a minute until Michaels counters a chokeslam attempt into a crossface.  Taker finally manages to get up and drop Michaels with a side slam to escape it.  They trade blows.  Michaels hits the forearm and nips up.  Michaels knocks Taker down and goes to the top for the big elbow, but Taker gets up and catches him with the goozle.  Michaels counters the chokeslam attempt and feigns a superkick.  He goes for the figure-four again, but Taker locks in the Gogoplata.  Michaels scampers around and manages to get a rope break.  Michaels avoids the apron leg drop, causing Taker to hurt his leg again.  Michaels hits a baseball slide kick, then goes for a moonsault to the outside, but Taker avoids it.  Taker gets back in the ring and goes for a suicide dive.  Michaels pulls a camera man (played by Sim Snuka) in the way and Taker ALMOST KILLS HIMSELF.  I don’t know how he managed to not break his neck.  It was a tope suicida that almost turned into a Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Taker BARELY beats the count back in the ring.  Michaels tunes up the band and goes for the superkick, but Taker catches him with a huge chokeslam for a VERY close two count.  They counter each other’s finishes until Michaels lands the superkick for the one, two… TAKER KICKS OUT!  They rest for a moment, then Michaels nips up and stands over the dead Taker.  Taker comes back to life and goozles him, then gets up and goes for the Last Ride.  Michaels counters.  Taker goes for it again and hits it big time for the one, two, hegothimnohedidn’tcomeonref!  Taker, for some reason, goes for the diving elbow drop, but crashes and burns when Michaels moves.  When everybody gets up, Taker throws Michaels over the top rope.  Michaels skins the cat… right into the Tombstone!  Taker covers for the one, two, and MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers the straps to reveal his chest, which has been beaten blood red.  He goes for another Tombstone, but Michaels counters with somewhat of a DDT.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop, then NAILS the superkick for a very believable near fall.  Taker’s not done yet, though.  They make it to their feet and trade blows until Taker knocks Shawn down.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters.  Taker runs into Michaels’ boot in the corner.  Michaels goes for another moonsault, but Taker catches him and drops him with a second Tombstone and gets the pin at 30:43.  Fucking amazing epic match here, one of the best matches in WrestleMania history.

Raw Draft special commercial.

Evander Holyfield is in the crowd.  The announcers reflect on the epic match we just saw, but still have to feign interest in the matches still to come.

Edge/Cena/Show video package.

Lillian introduces Vickie Guerrero, who is wheeled down by Chavo.  At least Chavo gets a WrestleMania payday.  Edge makes his way out, then Show.  Cena’s old music hits and a bunch of Cena look-alikes come out and line the entry way.  Then the real Cena comes out.  I guess it’s the real Cena anyway.  In-ring intros, then we have…

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena tries to out-quick the other guys, but gets knocked down.  Edge tries to form an alliance with Show, but Show quickly betrays him.  Edge is disposed of, then Show beats down Cena.  Show ends up outside the ring and Cena hits his diving Fameasser to the oustide on Show.  Edge and Cena end up in the ring.  Edge hits his DDT and gets a near fall.  Show makes it back in.  Chavo pulls Cena out of the ring and gets F-U… er, has his Attitude Adjusted for his troubles.  Show does the Andre “tied up in the ropes” spot and watches Cena beat up Edge.  Vickie gets out of her wheelchair and gets on the apron.  Edge accidentally spears her for the 374th time.  Show finally gets out and beats up everyone.  Show goes for a double chokeslam, but Cena gets away, so Edge is the only one to take it.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjuster, but Show counters and nails his KO punch.  Show and Edge fight outside.  Edge spears Show through the guardrail.  Edge covers Cena for a two count back in the ring.  Edge goes for the spear, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Show makes it back up and pulls Cena out of the ring, then headbutts him.  Show goes for a Vader bomb on Edge, but Edge avoids it.  Edge and Cena unite to suplex Show, then they clothesline him out of the ring.  Edge takes a cheap shot and gets a near fall on Cena.  Cena hits the Throwback and goes up top.  Show pushes him off right into a spear from Edge in a cool spot.  Edge hops on Show’s back and tries to put him down with a sleeper.  Cena shows his retard strength and lifts both of them for the Attitude Adjuster.  Edge falls of and Show takes the move.  Cena hits it on Edge, dropping him on top of Show, then covers Show for the win at 14:43.  Not a bad match, but nothing was going to follow Shawn vs. Taker.

WrestleMania XXVI is coming to Arizona!

Justin Roberts introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2009: The Funks (Terry & Dory Jr.), Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, The Von Erichs (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky Steamboat, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Austin appears on the stage in his suit, then leaves.  He comes back out on his four wheeler in an Austin 3:16 shirt.  He drives down to the ring and drinks some beer, even sharing one with good ol’ J.R.  Ross puts this over as the end of the Austin era.

Backlash!  Backlash!  BACKLASH!

Lillian announces the attendance as 72,744.

Triple H/Orton history package.

Triple H is shown walking backstage.  He runs into Vince and Shane McMahon.  They exchange nods of the head.  Main event time!

WWE Championship Match: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Triple H can lose the title by DQ or count-out.  Entrances and in-ring introductions here too.  Triple H kicks Orton’s ass to start and gets told off by the referee.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere, but is an idiot, so doesn’t cover.  Orton goes for the punt of death, but Triple H avoids it and hits the Pedigree.  He is also an idiot and doesn’t cover.  They fight outside for a moment, then back in, then back out, then back in.  Orton begs off, but Triple H hammers him anyway.  They end up outside again.  Orton reverses Triple H and whips him into the steps, then into the time keeper’s area.  Triple H makes it back in the ring to avoid being counted out, but Orton goes to work on him.  My DVD starts skipping again.  Must have been a bad burn.  It finally starts playing right again, but my timing is going to be completely screwed now.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters with a quick jackknife hold for a near fall.  The match speeds up a bit now, with Triple H avoiding the RKO and getting a near fall with a quick schoolboy, then catching Orton with the big spinebuster.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Orton hits his 3.0 backbreaker for a near fall.  Orton catches Triple H coming off the turnbuckle with a sweet dropkick.  Triple H avoids the punt again and sends Orton outside.  Triple H teases hitting Orton with a monitor, but thinks better of it.  They tease a Pedigree through the announce table, but Orton backdrops Triple H to the other table, which doesn’t give.  Orton drops Triple H with his sick DDT off the table and they do the big count-out tease, but Triple H makes it back in.  Orton punishes him some more.  Ref bump.  Orton hits the RKO and retrieves the sledgehammer.  Triple H catches Orton coming back in and punts him.  Triple H hits Orton with the sledgehammer, hides it, and hammers Orton with punches.  The referee wakes up and makes Triple H stop throwing punches.  Triple H hits the Pedigree for the pin at 23:34 (according to Wikipedia since my timing got fucked up).  Flattest Mania finish ever, and Orton totally got jobbed.

WrestleMania highlight video.  Fin.

WWE Monday Night Raw 7/26/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, “Last week on Raw…” video.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

John Cena comes out and cuts a promo about The Nexus.  He talks about his team for SummerSlam and makes a bunch of jokes about the Super Friends.  Chris Jericho comes out.  Jericho bitches about Cena calling it “his” team.  Cena says he doesn’t care, he just wants to beat Nexus.  Having gotten what he wants, Jericho bitches at Cena for patronizing him.  Cena slaps the mic out of Jericho’s hand and gives him a passionate lecture.  The bitch back and forth some more.  Jericho promises to get rid of Cena after they get rid of the Nexus.  Cena challenges him to fight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  It says the match at SummerSlam will be Elimination and tonight the Nexus will face scrubs in a preview Elimination match.  It also says Jericho and Cena will team tonight.  This week’s tease is that the iBooker is a DX member.  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: Last week, Sheamus beat Evan Bourne, then The Miz attacked Sheamus and was about to cash in Money In The Bank until R-Truth fucked shit up.

WWE Champion Sheamus comes out to sit ringside for the next match.

Randy Orton vs. Jey Uso (w/ Jimmy Uso & Tamina).  They lock up.  Orton hits a clothesline and stares at Sheamus, the kicks Uso’s ass some more.  Orton hits the Albert decapitator.  Uso pulls Orton’s head across the top rope and puts the boots to him.  Uso hits a falling headbutt for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton ducks a clothesline and hits the powerslam.  Jimmy jumps on the apron and gets nailed.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER on Jey, then humps the mat and hits the RKO for the pin in 2:34.  It was there.  Jimmy Uso attacks Orton from behind.  Orton kicks his ass.  Sheamus comes in and tries to hit the pump kick on Orton, but nails Jimmy instead.  Orton hits the RKO on Sheamus.  The Miz comes out to cash in Money In The Bank, but Orton comes back in and RKOs Miz too.  Orton poses.

Edge complains to Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) about Great Khali being on the SummerSlam team.  Dibiase says Cena will see the error of his ways and put him on the team.  Edge says if he doesn’t, he’ll take Khali out himself.  Ranjin Singh overhead all of this.  Commercials.

San Antonio!

The Miz and Sheamus are still in the ring yelling at each other.  iBooker 9000 says tonight it will be Sheamus & Miz vs. Cena & Jericho.  Cole says he’s “received another manager” from the GM.

Cole and Lawler talk about SummerSlam to segue into…

SummerSlam Recall: The Ultimate Warrior squashing The Honky Tonk Man to win the Intercontinental Championship in 1988.

Edge is talking on the phone when Great Khali barges into his room and yells at him in Khalese.  Edge bitches down and denies saying the shit he just said.  Singh says Khali is challenging Edge to a match.  Edge agrees, but if he wins, Khali is off the SummerSlam team.  Please win Edge, PLEASE!  Commercials.

Lawler is gone because he’s one of the scrubs facing The Nexus tonight.

Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Edge.  Edge tries to be abusive and elusive, but Khali gets hold of him and kills him with a big chop.  Khali beats up Edge.  Edge avoids a leg drop.  The Nexus comes out.  Edge runs away through the crowd.  It’s a no-contest in about a minute and a half.  They surround Khali, but let him leave.

Tonight, Cena & Jericho vs. Sheamus & Miz!

The Raw srubs are headed our way!  Commercials!

Elimination Match: The Nexus (Wade Barrett, Skip Sheffield, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, David Otunga, Darren Young, & Michael Tarver) vs. Team Raw (Mark Henry, Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya), Jerry Lawler, Evan Bourne, Goldust, & Yoshi Tatsu).  Tarver and Tatsu start.  They lock up.  Tarver yells, then Yoshi chops him.  Yoshi lands some kicks.  Tarver catches him with a boot.  Tatsu responds in kind.  Tarver hits his shitty powerslam for the pin in 51 seconds.  Bourne comes in and goes after Tarver.  Gabriel tags in.  They try to double team, but Gabriel gets backdropped.  Lawler tags in and shines against Gabriel.  Lawler hits the diving fist drop for 2.  Nexus bails to talk strategy.  Commercials.  Kidd has Slater in a side headlock.  During the break, Lawler missed the diving fist drop and Slater hit him with a side Russian leg sweep to eliminate him.  Smith hits the stalling suplex on Slater for 2.  Smith beats up Slater some more.  Smith goes for the running powerslam, but Slater slips out thanks to Gabriel’s distraction.  Slater hits Smith with another shitty Russian leg sweep for the pin in 6:58.  Goldust comes in and beats up Slater.  Otunga comes in.  Young trips Goldust from the outside.  Otunga hits the spinebuster on Goldust for the pin in 8:13.  Henry comes in and press slams Otunga.  Slater tags in and gets beaten up too.  Darren Young gets more of the same.  Sheffield comes in and takes the fight to Henry because he’s a bad mofo.  Sheffield goes for the killer lariat, but Henry slams  him.  Twice.  Henry throws Gabriel in and splashes him in the corner.  Sheffield hits Henry with the clothesline for the pin in 10:06.  Kidd tries a springboard on Sheffield but gets killed with the clothesline.  Sheffield wants to give this one to Young.  Young hits his shitty full nelson face plant thing for the pin in 11:01.  Bourne is all alone.  He fights as well as he can, but Barrett hits the shitty fireman’s carry slam for the pin in 11:44.  Fun little match, but almost all of the Nexus guys have such shitty finishers.  The Nexus beat down Bourne after the match.  He takes the Sheffield killer lariat, Otunga’s spinebuster, and Gabriel’s 450 splash.  The Nexus cut promos about them being unified while Cena’s team isn’t.

The Miz is backstage looking mad.  Sheamus comes in and bitches at him.  Miz teases cashing in Money In The Bank after their tag match tonight.  Sheamus warns him to stop fucking him him and smacks the briefcase out of his hand.  Commercials. plug.

The Alamo!

Non-Title: Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella) vs. WWE Divas Champion Alicia Fox.  Fox beats up Bella.  Jillian Hall comes out to stop the Bellas from pulling the switcheroo.  Brie schoolgirls Alicia for 2.  Alicia hits the scissors kick for the pin in 1:03.  Pointless shit here.  Jillian sings in celebration until Alicia hits her with the scissors kick too.  Yay Alicia!

Tonight, Cena & Jericho vs. Miz & Sheamus!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

R-Truth comes out to do commentary for the next match.

Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Maryse grabs Morrison’s leg to let Dibiase get the advantage.  Dibiase clamps on a rear chin lock.  Morrison makes his comeback.  Dibiase boots him in the face.  Morrison rocks DIbiase with a kick and goes for the Starship Pain, but Maryse distracts him.  Dibiase tries to pin Morrison with his feet on the ropes, but R-Truth pushes his feet off.  Dibiase sends Morrison crashing into Truth, then gets the pin in 2:17.  Not much of a match.  Morrison and R-Truth argue.

John Cena looks distraught at his teammates arguing.  Commercials.

The SummerSlam song is some stupid song by some stupid band.

“Last week on Raw…” video.  Again.

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton, who doesn’t care who the WWE Champion is at SummerSlam.

The main event is NEXT!

WWE Champion Sheamus & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Cena & Chris Jericho.  Both teams argue over who is going to start.  It ends up being Cena and Miz.  Cena sends Miz outside immediately.  Miz comes back in… and tags out immediately.  Sheamus and Cena lock up.  They trade headlocks.  Cena scores a knockdown with a shoulder block and tags in Jericho.  Sheamus and Jericho brawl.  Jericho throws Sheamus out of the ring.  Miz bitches at Sheamus.  Commercials.  Sheamus and Cena brawl.  Miz tags in and Cena hits the Fisherman buster, then tags in Jericho.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Sheamus misses a clothesline, then Jericho connects with the springboard dropkick to the apron to knock Sheamus to the floor.  Miz cheap shots Jericho and gets the advantage.  Sheamus tags in and beats up Jericho.  Sheamus scores some near falls as heel Jericho plays face in peril.  Miz does the same.  Jericho lands a missile dropkick.  Sheamus tags in and prevents Jericho from making the tag.  Miz tags in and misses a charge in the corner.  Cena gets the hot tag and runs wild on Sheamus.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Miz distracts the referee.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cena.  Miz tags himself in and pins Cena in 13:22.  Fine match.  Jericho locks Cena in the Walls of Jericho.  Cena counters into the STF.  Great Khali comes down to be the voice of reason.  Really.  Edge shows up and spears Khali.  John Morrison and R-Truth come down and are like WTF?  Team Raw argues.  Khali kills Morrison and Edge with head chops.  Things aren’t looking good for Team Raw!

Nothing particularly great on this show, but it was pretty fun.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 7/23/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, Smackdown open.  Last Sunday, Kane cashed in his newly won Money In The Bank contract and won the World Championship!  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

The NEW World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes to the ring!  He cuts a promo while ominous music plays in the background.  He says he won it for his brother to bring the title back to the dark side.  He’s still looking for whoever turned Undertaker into a tomato.  Oh wait, that’s a fruit, not a vegetable…  He swears vengeance and makes his pyro go off.

Tonight, Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger in a 2/3 Falls #1 Contender Match!

Smack of the Night: Matt Hardy and Christian’s recent issues.

Christian & Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre & “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Hardy and McIntyre lock up aggressively, then brawl, because maybe they actually kind of remember that they hate the fuck out of each other.  Hardy works McIntyre’s arm, then tags in Christian.  Christian beats up McIntyre and locks him in a side headlock.  Christian hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Rhodes tags in and beats up Christian.  Christian hits a flapjack and tags in Hardy.  Christian and Hardy hit a modified Poetry In Motion  for 2.  Christian and Hardy make quick tags and work Rhodes over.  McIntyre tags in and goes for the Future Shock, but Hardy backdrops him out of the ring, then sends Rhodes out as well.  Hardy hits a baseball slide dropkick, then Christian takes them both out with a dive.  Insta-commercials.  Rhodes hits a side Russian leg sweep on Hardy.  Hardy avoids a knee drop and tags in Christian.  Rhodes should really start wearing knee pads.  After some heel trickery, Rhodes hits an Alabama Slam on Christian for 2.  The bad guys get the heat on Christian.  Rhodes gets some near falls.  McIntyre works Christian’s arm.  Rhodes hits the old Hardcore Holly kick to the balls and goes for the Alabama Slam again, but Christian counters.  They do a double knockdown.  McIntyre and Hardy tag in.  Hardy runs wild.  Hardy has taken off his shirt to reveal taped ribs stemming from the PPV.  Hardy hits a tornado DDT, but Rhodes distracts the referee.  McIntyre boots Hardy int he ribs and goes for the Future Shock, but Hardy turns it into a cradle for 2.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Hardy accidentally decks Christian.  McIntyre hits a big boot on Hardy for the pin (10:39 shown).  Pretty decent little match.  Christian helps Hardy up and they do the exaggerated handshake bit to show they’re still friends for now.

Josh Matthews interviews Jack Swagger.  Swagger talks shit about Eddie Guerrero.  In 2010.  Five years after he died.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tonight, Mysterio vs. Swagger 2/3 Falls!

Little Rock, Arkansas!  Man, I wish I could have been there.

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

WWE Women’s Champion Layla and Michelle McCool celebrate Layla’s win at the PPV.  Like everything they do, it’s obnoxious.  They give each other best friend necklaces.  Teddy Long comes in and tells Layla she has to defend the title against Tiffany next week.  What the fuck has Tiffany done to deserve a title shot?  LayCool are obnoxious some more.

Kofi Kingston and Michael McGillicutty are headed our way!

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston (w/ Michael McGillicutty) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler takes Kofi down and does some amateur stuff.  Sweet back and forth wrestling until Ziggler kicks Kofi in the leg and starts kicking his ass.  Kofi leapfrogs Ziggler twice and drops him with an elbow smash, then does the corner punches.  Ziggler beats up Kofi some more.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 1, despite the fact that Kofi is selling the neck.  Ziggler works the neck and throws Kofi back into the ring.  McGillicutty checks on Kofi.  Vickie yells at McGillicutty and makes him leave.  The referee enforces her ruling because she’s insulting to the GM or something.  Insta-commercials.  Kofi fights out of a rear chin lock.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler continues working the neck.  Kofi avoids a second Fameasser and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler hits another neckbreaker, then tortures Kofi’s neck some more.  Kofi avoids an elbow drop, then counters another neckbreaker into a backslide for 2.  Kofi makes his comeback.  Kofi hits his clothesline and Grisham calls it a Superman punch because he’s a dumbass.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Ziggler avoids it and throws Kofi out of the ring.  Kofi skins the cat back in, but Vickie grabs his leg.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag, then locks in the sleeper hold for the win (11:25 shown).  Good match.  I’ve been wanting Ziggler to get the IC title for a year now.  It’s gotta be happening soon.  He poses with the belt just to drive home what I’m saying.  He tries to leave with it, but the referee takes it back.

The Big Show is up next!  He high fives Rosa Mendez, who is randomly jumping rope backstage again.

WWE Rewind: Last week, Big Show took off CM Punk’s mask, proving that bald Punk looks just like Ivan Koloff.

Big Show and the Straight Edge Society come out.  It’s supposed to be Show vs. Gallows, but Gallows and/or Punk decide that the masked guy will wrestle show.

The Big Show vs. The masked SES guy (w/ CM Punk,Luke Gallows, & Serena).  Show kills the guy with big chops.  The guy tries to get something going, but fails.  Show pulls his mask off.  It’s Joey Mercury!  And he’s bald!  Show puts the mask on and kills Mercury with the KO punch for the pin in 1:33.  Just what it was: a squash and the unmasking that nobody cared about.

Cody Rhodes gives grooming advice about nose hair.

Raw Rebound.

Josh Matthews interviews Rey Mysterio.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Another Alberto Del Rio vignette.

2/3 Falls Match for the #1 Contendership to the World Heavyweight Championship: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Jack Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger throws Mysterio into the corner.  Repeat.  Mysterio gets a schoolboy for 2.  Mysterio kicks at Swagger’s legs.  Swagger punches at Mysterio’s face and rams his head into the turnbuckles.  Mysterio hits a rana, then low bridges Swagger out of the ring and hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger wrestles Mysterio down, then clubs him in the back.  Swagger grinds his boot into Mysterio’s mid-section.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold into the turnbuckles.  Mysterio goes up top, but Swagger trips him to bring him down.  Swagger hits a big powerslam, then beats on Mysterio some more.  Swagger applies a body scissors.  Swagger rams Mysterio’s leg into the ring post.  Cover gets 2.  Swagger continues working the leg.  Swagger coves for 2, then Mysterio lands a kick and tries to fight back.  Mysterio lands a rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio kicks Swagger in the head.  Mysterio goes for the flippy bulldog, but Swagger face plants him and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio gets a rope break, but Swagger refuses to let go and gets DQ’d to give Mysterio the first fall (7:27 shown).  Insta-commercials.  Mysterio makes it back into the ring.  Swagger puts the boots to him.  Mysterio catches Swagger with a boot, then avoids a charge in the corner and Swagger hits the post.  Mysterio hits a diving rana and goes for the 619, but Swagger locks in the ankle lock to win the second fall (9:04 shown).  Mysterio sells on the outside again.  Swagger abuses the ankle some more.  Swagger tries to wrestle Mysterio to the outside for some reason.  Oh.  Swagger hits a nasty spinebuster type move on the floor.  Back inside, Swagger hits 2 springboard Vader Bombs for 2.  He goes for another one, but Mysterio catches him in the face with raised boots.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bumb, but Mysterio counters and hits a revolution crucifix hold for the pin! (12:31 shown).  Good match.  Mysterio vs. Kane at SummerSlam.  Man, SummerSlam is going to suck.  Swagger attacks Mysterio again after the match, but Kane comes down and chokeslams him.  Kane picks up Mysterio and raises his hand, looking like pissed off Kane the whole time.  Kane teases leaving, then comes back and tries to chokeslam Mysterio.  Mysterio counters into a rana and hits the 619!

Pretty good show this week.

WWE Money In The Bank 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Chui

WWE open, Money In The Bank open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  We’re LIVE from Kansas City, Missouri!  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers!  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. The Big Show.  Everybody gangs up on Big Show and Kane.  Rhodes sets up a ladder and tries to climb while everyone is distracted.  Show and Kane kick his ass, then brawl with each other.  Show tries to climb the ladder and the first rung he steps on breaks, just like on Smackdown.  Everybody attacks Show, but he clears them out and throws the broken ladder out of the ring at Kane.  Show looks under the ring for his special ladder, but all the little guys attack him and send him into the steps, then brawl amongst themselves.  McIntyre catapults Christian into a ladder, then sets up the ladder and starts climbing.  Hardy hits him with another ladder.  Hardy climbs the ladder, but Christian comes in and pulls him down.  Christian puts the boots to Hardy and climbs the ladder himself.  Hardy pulls Christian off and pounds on him.  Hardy and Christian go out of the ring.  Rhodes climbs the ladder, but Kingston cuts him off and starts climbing.  Ziggler cuts Kingston off and reaches the briefcase, but Christian cuts him off.  They brawl on top of the ladder.  Christian hip tosses Ziggler off the ladder.  Hardy pushes the ladder over.  Hardy hits the Side Effect on Kofi and Christian hits the reverse DDT on Rhodes.  Kane goes for a double chokeslam, but Hardy and Christian hit him with a double DDT.  Hardy and Christian sandwich Kane between ladders, then hit each other.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Christian counters and flapjacks Hardy into a ladder.  Christian does his “stand on the guy on the bottom rope” bit with the ladder.  Christian climbs the ladder, but McIntyre pushes it over.  Christian falls out of the ring and takes out Big Show in the process.  Rhodes hits a kick on Kane.  Kofi hits Kane with the Trouble In Paradise, then Hardy drops Kane with the Twist of Fate.  Kofi climbs a ladder, but Rhodes hits him with a backdrop suplex.  Hardy and Rhodes brawl on top of the ladder.  McIntyre pushes the ladder over.  McIntyre throws Hardy into the post, then Rhodes.  McIntyre climbs a ladder, but Ziggler cuts him off.  McIntyre throws Ziggler into the post.  Kane pulls McIntyre out of the ring and stomps his head in.  Kane tears up the announcers’ tables and tries to chokeslam McIntyre.  Kane fights back, but gets dropped with a big boot.  Kofi baseball slide dropkicks a ladder into Kane’s face, then beats up McIntyre on the Spanish announce table.  Kofi lays out McIntyre with the Trouble In Paradise, then climbs a ringside ladder and hits the Boom Drop on McIntyre through the table.  Ziggler climbs a ladder in the ring.  Show comes in, knocks the ladder over, and chokeslams Ziggler.  Kane tries to chokeslam Show, but Show fights him off and rams a ladder into him, then butt butts the ladder in the corner.  Show throws Rhodes out of the ring.  Christian and Hardy hit Show with a ladder.  Show grabs the ladder and shoves it over both of them, then splashes the ladder with Christian and Hardy under it.  That couldn’t have been fun for anyone.  Show brings his special ladder in from under the ring.  He struggles with it because it is a very heavy ladder.  He finally gets the giant ladder set up.  Rhodes comes in and hits Show in his injured leg with a step ladder.  Rhodes climbs the big ladder.  Ziggler cuts him off and hits an electric chair drop.  Ziggler climbs the huge ladder.  Show gets up and kills him with a big chop.  Hardy attacks Show and gets a big headbutt for his trouble.  Kofi springboards to the ladder and climbs, but Show grabs him.  Kofi turns it into a DDT and starts climbing again.  Rhodes hits Kofi with a missile dropkick to the ladder.  Nice.  Rhodes hits Kofi with the Cross Rhodes on a ladder.  Rhodes climbs the huge ladder.  Ziggler cuts him off and sort of hits the Zig Zag into the huge ladder.  That’s a very sturdy ladder.  Show headbutts Rhodes and Ziggler and finally climbs the huge ladder.  Kane comes in and pushes the ladder over.  Big Show tumbles over the top rope to the floor.  The other guys stack ladders on top of Show.  Show is pretty much buried in ladders.  Everybody else tries to climb the huge ladder.  Kane chokeslams Christian, then Hardy, then rams Kofi’s head into the ladder and pulls Rhodes down and decks him.  Kane climbs.  Ziggler climbs over him and goes for the briefcase.  Ziggler locks Kane in the sleeper hold.  Kane rams Ziggler’s head into the ladder.  Ziggler crash to the mat, then Kane chokeslams him into the pile of ladders burying Show.  Rhodes and Kofi pull Kane out of the ring, then brawl with each other.  Kane kicks their asses and chokeslams Kofi onto Show’s ladder pyre.  Rhodes runs up the ramp to get away from Kane.  Kane catches him and throws him like a javelin into one of the armored trucks making up the PPV set.  Hardy climbs the ladder.  Kane pulls him down.  Christian tries to climb up with Kane, but gets knocked down.  Christian and Hardy slam Kane down off of the ladder.  Christian and Hardy climb the ladder and fight at the top, then both fall off.  McIntyre finally recovers from being dead and climbs the ladder.  Kane recovers and choke pushes McIntyre to the mat.  Kane takes down the briefcase to win it in 26:17.  Awesome match.  The Raw guys are going to have a hard time topping it.

Josh Matthews interviews the WWE Champion, Sheamus.  He says he finally realized he had to fight against The Nexus, but he still hates John Cena.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Alicia Fox (c) vs. Eve Torres.  They lock up.  Fox takes Eve down.  Eve gets up and takes Fox down.  They lock up again.  Eve grabs a side headlock, then hits a shoulder block for 1.  Eve gets a jackknife hold for 1.  Eve gets a sunset flip for 2.  Eve lands a dropkick and goes for a tornado DDT, but Fox pulls her down.  Eve goes outside.  Fox follows and his met with a forearm.  Fox slams Eve into the side of the ring.  Fox pulls Eve into the ring and covers for 2.  Fox applies a backbreaker hold.  Eve knees her way out and makes her comeback.  Fox hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Eve hits sort a reverse monkey flip.  Eve hits a cross body for 1.  Eve lands some more dropkicks and goes for a suplex, but her back gives it.  Eve lands a kick and hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Eve drops Fox with another kick and tries a flip from the middle rope, but Fox gets her knees up.  Fox hits the scissors kick for the pin in 5:53.  They tried.  It was still pretty bad, but at least it wasn’t too horribly long.

They show the retarded shit from Smackdown where Kane chokeslammed and Tombstoned Jack Swagger’s daddy.

Jack Swagger is on the phone with his mom.  He’s gone from loving his daddy to blaming him for trying to steal his spotlight.

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Hart Dynasty (c) (w/ Natalya) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina).  Smith and the Uso with short tights start.  I keep forgetting which is which.  Cole says it’s Jey, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.  Smith hits a powerslam for 2.  Kidd tags in.  Smith hip tosses him into a rana on Jey.  Smith comes back in and brawls with Jey some more.  Jey grounds and pounds him.  Jimmy tags in and beats up Smith.  Jey tags in and hits a butt butt to the corner for 2, as Kidd saves.  Smith hits a back body drop on Jey.  Jimmy tags in and cuts off Smith from making the tag.  Jimmy cranks on a rear chin lock.  Smith hits a belly to belly throw.  Jey and Kidd tag in.  Kidd runs wild.  Kidd gets a springboard reverse cradle, but Jimmy makes the blind tag.  Usos hit a double team Samoan drop on Kidd.  Jimmy covers for 2.  Jimmy slams Kidd and goes for the Superfly splash, but Kidd gets his knees up.  Smith gets the tag and nails Jimmy with a shoulder block.  Smith goes for the Sharpshooter.  Tamina gets on the apron.  Natalya pulls her down and slams her on the floor.  Smith catches Jimmy’s superkick and locks in the Sharpshooter.  Kidd takes out Jey with a dive.  Jimmy submits to Smith in 5:53.  Fine little match.  All of these guys are really good.

Criss Angel: Mindfreak commercial.  That’s the sponsor of the PPV.

“Money” is the crappy PPV theme song!

Rey Mysterio/Jack Swagger video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Jack Swagger.  Mysterio is limping to sell the ankle injury.  Swagger goes for takedowns and Mysterio tries to stay away from Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger pushes Mysterio into the corner and goes for the ankle.  Mysterio fights to keep him Swagger off of his ankle.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger moves.  Mysterio tries a quebrada, but Mysterio catches him, powerslams him into the corner, and ties him to the tree of woe.  Mysterio avoids a blow and hits a diving Bombs Away to the floor.  That was stupid.  Mysterio goes up top again and Swagger hits a belly to belly throw from the top.  Swagger, naturally, works the leg.  Mysterio bails.  Swagger follows and him into the announce table.  The Spanish announcers are gone now.  Hah!  They only had them out there to go old school and break their table.  Swagger keeps working the leg back in the ring.  Swagger hits a fucked up Samoan drop or a powerslam or something for 2.  Swagger throws Rey around some more and goes for the springboard Vader Bomb, but Mysterio avoids it and kicks Swagger in the head.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away.  Swagger headbutts him in the middle.  Mysterio hits a headscissors that sends Swagger into the turnbuckle.  Mysterio hits a split legged moonsault for 2.  Swagger hits a wheelbarrow suplex for 2.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Swagger goes for the ankle, but Mysterio kicks him away.  Mysterio ranas Swagger into the post.  Swaggergoes for a powerslam off the middle rope, but Mysterio turns it into a DDT!  Cover, but Swagger kicks out!  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the West Coast Pop, but Swagger catches him and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio gets the ropes.  Swagger breaks, but hits the springboard Vader Bomb x2.  Swagger attacks the ankle again.  Mysterio loosens his boot.  Swagger applies the ankle lock again, but the boot slips off!  The boot trick!  Awesome!  Mysterio hits a Frankensteiner for the pin in 10:45.  Good match.  Awesome nod to Eddie vs. Angle from WrestleMania XX with the boot trick!  I always loved that spot.  Mysterio celebrates with the belt, but Swagger jumps him after the match and puts him back in the ankle lock.  Kane runs out to make the save and kicks Swagger’s ass to the back.  Mysterio celebrates again.  But wait, Kane is coming back with the Money In The Bank briefcase!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Kane.  Mysterio tries to get away from Kane.  Kane attacks the injured ankle.  Kane hits the chokeslam and the Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 53 seconds.  After 12 years, Kane is FINALLY World Champion again!  Good for him.  And it’s cool that they finally had someone cash in the Money In The Bank the night they won it.

Edge is backstage watching on a monitor.  Chris Jericho shows up.  They bicker and argue about which one of them is going to win the Raw Money In The Bank and cash it in tonight.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Layla (c) (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany).  They show LayCool’s recent attack on Kelly.  They lock up.  Layla powers Kelly into the corner.  The (worst) ref (in WWE) forces the break.  Kelly tackles Layla and kicks her ass.  Layla avoids the handspring elbow to the corner.  Kelly gets a victory roll for 2.  Kelly kicks Layla out of the ring.  Layla uses Finlay’s ring apron trick to trap Kelly’s leg and kick the crap out of it.  Layla baseball slide dropkicks Kelly into McCool at ringside, then sides her into the barricade.  Tiffany argues with LayCool.  McCool takes a cheap shot at Kelly.  Kelly shoves McCool over the barricade, then kicks Layla’s ass and throws her back into the ring.  Kelly is FIRED UP!  She gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Kelly hits the Fameasser, but Layla gets her foot on the bottom rope.  Tiffany and Kelly deck McCool.  Kelly goes back in and goes for a diving sunset flip, but Layla hooks her legs and gets the pin in 3:58.  This sucked.  Did you expect anything else?  Striker’s cooing over Layla is fucking obnoxious.

Please, Don’t Try This At Home!

Some National Guard folks are in the house!

The announcers plug SummerSlam slurpee cups.

Earlier tonight, the Smackdown Money In The Bank Ladder Match happened!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Randy Orton vs. WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne vs. Edge.  Edge brings in a ladder before the match starts, then bails as soon as the bell rings.  Everybody else goes for the ladder and starts brawling.  Everybody else goes outside and Edge sneaks in to climb the ladder.  Orton cuts him off and takes him outside to kick his ass.  Dibiase picks up a ladder, but gets kicked by Morrison.  Dibiase clotheslines Morrison onto the ladder.  Dibiase knocks Morrison off the apron with the ladder.  Bourne dropkicks the ladder into Dibiase.  Miz nails Bourne and throws him out of the ring.  Miz tries to set up the ladder, but Jericho comes in and brawls with him.  Henry throws a ladder at them.  Henry squashes Miz against the middle rope.  Jericho nails Henry with a ladder, then throws it on him.  Bourne sets up a ladder.  Jericho comes at him with another ladder, but Bourne drops him.  Bourne sets up a ladder properly and climbs for the prize.  Edge cuts him off, but Bourne hits a rana to send Edge out of the ring.  Orton comes in and beats up Bourne.  Orton uses the ladder to hit the DDT OF MURDER!  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on Orton.  Morrison stumbles and knocks over the ladder.  Dibiase comes in.  Morrison tries to suplex him, but Miz saves.  Miz and Dibiase stomp Morrison.  Morrison flapjacks Miz into a ladder, then drop toe holds Dibiase onto it.  Morrison climbs the ladder.  Edge climbs the other side.  Jericho sets up another ladder next them and climbs.  Orton climbs the opposite side of Jericho’s ladder.  Henry comes in and pushes both ladders over!  Bourne hits a springboard knee on Henry, then falls out of the ring.  Maryse checks on Dibiase, then decides to climb the ladder herself.  Morrison comes in and pulls her down, then orders her to the back.  Dibiase sneaks in and climbs the ladder, but Morrison cuts him off.  Awesome attempt at trickery there.  Dibiase charges Morrison in the corner with the ladder, but Morrison moves.  Outside, Miz nails Morrison with a ladder.  Edge climbs a ladder in the ring.  Morrison does a crazy bit falling on one ladder to the ladder Edge is on.  Edge traps Morrison in the ladder.  Edge and Miz ram another ladder into Morrison, then Edge nails Miz with it.  Edge pushes the ladder over with Morrison inside it.  Dibiase comes in and hits Edge with another ladder.  Dibiase sets a ladder up upside down for some reason.  Jericho tries to bring in another ladder, but Dibiase takes it from him and nails him and Orton with it.  Dibiase rams Edge into his weird ladder structure and climbs up the normal ladder.  Henry cuts him off.  Dibiase dives at Henry, but Henry catches him and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Henry knocks a ladder into Jericho, then press slams Miz onto the ladder and Jericho.  Henry climbs the ladder.  Bourne jumps on his back, but Henry keeps climbing.  So Big Show can’t climb the ladder, but Henry can climb it with Bourne on his back?  Does show way 700 lbs or something?  Edge and Orton cut Henry off, but Bourne almost reaches the briefcase.  Edge and Orton launch him outside at Henry, who hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Morrison lands a kick on Henry.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker.  Edge hits the spear.  Orton, Morrison, Edge, Jericho, and Miz all climb.  Dibiase tries to cut them off, but gets kicked out of the ring.  Dibiase adds another ladder to make a bridge.  Miz takes a bump into it.  Dibiase stands on the bridge.  Edge and Orton bring him down onto the ladder and throw him out of the ring.  Orton hits the RKO on Edge.  Jericho kicks Orton to send him outside.  Jericho and Morrison fight on top of the ladder.  Jericho gets his leg stuck in the ladder.  Orton hits the RKO on Morrison.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press on Orton.  Bourne climbs the ladder while Jericho dangles from it.  Bourne almost gets the briefcase, but Jericho cuts him off and swings the briefcase into his face.  Edge climbs up to fight Jericho.  Orton hits Jericho with an RKO off the ladder!  Orton knocks Edge off into Dibiase’s wacky ladder set up deal, then climbs the ladder.  Miz comes in and pushes the ladder over.  Miz climbs the ladder and takes down the briefcase to win it in 20:27.  Another wild match, but not as good as the Smackdown one.  Miz is emotional over the win.  He cuts a promo about this being his moment and him being awesome.

The Criss Angel: Mindfreak commercial airs again.

SummerSlam hype video.

John Cena/Sheamus video package.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Sheamus tries to ram Cena’s head into the cage, but fails.  Sheamus pounds on Cena and finally succeeds in ramming his head into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Cena tackles Sheamus and pounds on him.  Sheamus catches Cena with an elbow smash.  Sheamus beats up Cena some more and grinds his face into the cage.  Cena hits his whack Fisherman buster.  They trade punches.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Sheamus ducks him and sends him into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus hits the reverse DDT backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus tries to climb out of the cage, but Sheamus cuts him off.  They fight on the top rope.  Cena hits a superplex for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus counters into a DDT for 2.  Sheamus hits the Polish hammer for 2.  Repeat.  Cena ducks a third attempt and fights back, but Sheamus locks in a sleeper hold.  Cena suffers for a bit, then stands  up and starts climbing the cage with Sheamus on his back.  Sheamus lets go and pulls Cena down.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus knees Cena in the face, then chokes him with his boot.  Sheamus climbs the cage.  Cena pulls him down.  Cena makes his standard comeback.  He goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus grabs the cage and starts climbing.  Cena rams Sheamus’ head into the cage to send him crashing to the mat.  Cena is cut, but it’s not bleeding.  It must be an old cut.  He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle off of the top, but Sheamus moves to avoid it.  Sheamus ties up Cena in the ropes and pounds on him.  Sheamus climbs over Cena.  Cena breaks free and stops Sheamus from escaping.  Cena hits a bulldog off the top rope for 2.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker, then nails Sheamus with the pump kick for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment out of nowhere for 2.  The Nexus come out.  Michael Tarver has bolt cutters.  A referee takes them and runs away.  The Nexus demand the key to the door, but Jack Doan throws it into the crowd.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again, but Sheamus counters and sends Cena into the ref.  The ref is dead from a shot that wouldn’t put down a grandmother for more than a few seconds.  Cena locks in the STF.  Sheamus taps, but the ref is dead.  Cena tries to escape, but members of the Nexus climb up to meet him.  Cena sends Justin Gabriel to the mat.  The Nexus members stop Cena from escaping.  Sheamus climbs up the other side, nails Heath Slater, and drops the floor to win it in 23:01.  The match was fine, but not especially exciting.  Sheamus runs out through the crowd.  Cena is pissed.  He throws Darren Young into the cage, then nails Tarver with a three point clothesline.  I guess the rest of the Nexus ran after Sheamus.  Cena nails Tarver with the ring steps.  He yells “I told you I’d take every one of you out!”  Cena takes Tarver’s armband and leaves.

Pretty good show altogether.  The ladder matches were great, and aside from the shitty women’s matches, nothing on the show was bad.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 7/16/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Chui

Will Jack Swagger have an alibi?  TONIGHT!

Unless my video just picks up late, there’s no open or pyro or ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  They show clips of the Battle Royal on NXT where both of these guys got fucked up.  They trade arm locks and do a nice bit of wrestling.  Kingston tries the drop down, leap frog, something or other, but Rhodes knocks him down and beats him up in the corner.  Kofi hits corner punches in the opposite corner.  Rhodes pulls Kofi down into the turnbuckles.  Rhodes front suplexes Kofi into the top rope, then knocks him to the floor with a knee lift.  Insta-commercials.  Rhodes has Kofi in an abdominal stretch.  Rhodes hits a side Russian leg sweep and a knee drop for 2, then goes back to the abdominal stretch.  Kofi hits a rana from the ground and starts fighting back.  Kofi hits a half assed spinebuster and grounds and pounds Rhodes.  Rhodes hits a diving bulldog headlock for 2.  Kofi hits the corner kick and heads up top.  Rhodes cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Kofi fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  Kane comes out and chokeslams both of them.  I guess it’s a no-contest (about 7 minutes shown).  I saw the ref call for the bell, but the stupid timekeeper didn’t bother to ring it.  Kane says he will bludgeon Jack Swagger tonight.  Kind of a mediocre match, even before the lame finish.

Tonight, Christian vs. Drew McIntyre and Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Grisham and Striker talk about Rey Mysterio’s condition.  They show Jack Swagger fucking up Mysterio’s ankle repeatedly in the last 2 weeks.

World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio is getting his ankle put in a brace by the trainer.  The trainer leaves and Rey looks at his belt.  Josh Matthews comes in to interview him.  Mysterio says he’ll be there on Sunday.

Jack Swagger talks to somebody on the phone.  Somebody who is on their way to the arena, apparently.

Louisville, Kentucky!

Highlights of Edge winning Money In The Bank in 2005 and cashing it in to win the WWE Championship from John Cena.

Drew McIntyre vs. Christian.  McIntyre goes on the attack.  Christian slides out of the ring, slides back in to avoids McIntyre, and tries to kick him.  They fight on the apron.  Christian knocks McIntyre to the floor with a corner kick and hits him with a dive from the top rope.  McIntyre pulls Christian’s back against the top rope.  Cover gets 2.  McIntyre beats on Christian.  That annoying ref who gets in the fucking way is in there.  Christian goes for a tornado DDT, but McIntyre knocks him to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre covers Christian for 2, then applies a shoulder hold.  McIntyre powers Christian into the corner.  Christian hits a tornado DDT for 2.  Christian hits the reverse DDT for 2.  Christian hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Christian hits a drop toe hold and dives off the middle rope, but McIntyre catches him with a boot for 2.  McIntyre catapults Christian into the corner.  Christian tries to go up top, but gets cut off.  McIntyre tries a Spider German, but Christian knocks him off and hits the diving sunset flip for 2.  McIntyre hits an over the knee neckbreaker for 2.  Christian hits a diving European uppercut and goes for the Killswitch, but McIntyre counters and goes for the Future Shock.  Counter again.  McIntyre blocks the Killswitch again and thumbs Christian in the eye.  McIntyre hits the Future Shock for the pin (8:17 shown).  Okay match.

Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Highlights of CM Punk winning the 2009 Money In The Bank Ladder Match and cashing it in to win the World Title from Jeff Hardy.

The Straight Edge Society are in the ring.  Punk cuts his usual promo.  Big Show comes out with a normal ladder and a step ladder.  Punk keeps babbling as Show sets up the ladder.  Show talks about the SES being boring.  Punk makes fun of Show for being fat, then the SES steps out of the ring.  Punk challenges Show to climb the ladder.  The second rung of the ladder breaks as soon as Show steps on it.  He teases using a step ladder, then thinks better of it.  He talks about how hard it is to be a giant, because he breaks shit.  He has some guys bring out a special reinforced ladder.  He says the ladder weighs 350 lbs and has a 2000 lb. weight limit.  Punk says if he wasn’t injured, he would win Money In The Bank again.  Luke Gallows and the masked guy jump Show from behind and kick his ass.  Punk climbs Show’s ladder and yells that he’s better than you.  Show wakes up and disposes of Gallows and the masked man.  Show climbs the ladder and grabs Punk.  He pulls Punk’s mask off, exposing his bald head for the world to see.  You’d think more of his hair would have grown back after 2 months.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

Jack Swagger is on the phone again.  Whoever he’s talking to apparently has his evidence.

Trent Barreta & WWE Women’s Champion Layla (w/ Caylen Croft) vs. Chris Masters & Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany).  Kelly slaps Layla around.  Layla comes back and puts Kelly in a backbeaker hold.  Rosa Mendez jumps rope to ringside.  Barreta and Croft swing the rope for her.  This distracts Layla.  Masters nails the Dudebusters.  Kelly hits the Fameasser on Layla for the pin in 1:35.  This was dumb.  Rosa realizes she fucked up and jumps rope to the back.

“Money” is the song for Money In The Bank.  Like anyone gives a fuck.

Cole and Grisham hype the Money In The Bank card.

Matt Hardy comes out.  He says he’ll win Money In The Bank and cash it in that night.  He’s in action NEXT!

Another Alberto Del Rio vignette.

Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler takes Hardy to the mat immediately and tries to wrestle him into a hold.  Hardy fights back and clamps on a side headlock.  Hardy beats up Ziggler.  Ziggler comes off the top, but gets caught with a punch in the mid-section.  Hardy clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring.  Ziggler sends Hardy into the barricade.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows on Hardy for 2.  Hardy goes for a sunset flip, but Ziggler blocks it.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  Hardy fights back.  Hardy hits a flapjack for 2.  Hardy hits a diving elbow to the back for 2.  Ziggler goes for a rana, but Hardy powerbombs him for 2.  Hardy goes for a moonsault, but Ziggler rolls out of the way.  Ziggler gets a cradle for 2.  Hardy hits the Side Effect, but Ziggler gets the tip of his finger on the bottom rope.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold.  Hardy sends Ziggler into the middle turnbuckle to escape it.  Vickie gets on the apron.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Ziggler pushes him almost into Vickie.  Hardy stops from colliding with her, but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin (7:40 shown).  Okay match.

Earlier tonight, Kane promised to fuck Jack Swagger’s shit up.

A limo arrives carrying some guy with a package.  Swagger gives to package to some production geek to play.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Jack Swagger comes out with the guy, who is apparently his daddy, Mr. Swagger.  Swagger says he was with his daddy when Undertaker got turned into a carrot.  They show pictures of Swagger and his daddy working out, fishing, and eating chicken wings.  Kane comes out and says he doesn’t believe Swagger.  They show pictures of Swagger and daddy running a 5K.  This fails to convince Kane.  Kane goozles Swagger.  Mr. Swagger begs Kane not to hurt his son.  Swagger decks Kane and puts him in the ankle lock.  Rey Mysterio hobbles out and hits the 619 on Swagger.  Kane goozles the Swaggers.  Jack escapes, but Daddy Swagger gets chokeslammed and Tombstoned while Jack just leaves.

Lame show.  If you didn’t catch it, you didn’t miss anything.