Archive for Mike Knox

WWE Royal Rumble 2009 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Opening video package highlights preview Royal Rumbles, then the Orton/McMahon angle from Raw last Monday.  Short version: Orton kicked Vince in the head.  Hard.

Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole say that the McMahon family hasn’t released any info about Mr. McMahon’s condition.  Orton will be reprimanded… later.

Castrol GTX presents the Royal Rumble!  The Road to WrestleMania begins tonight!

Fireworks, then Cole and Lawler welcome us to the Royal Rumble, LIVE from Detroit, Michigan!  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker then take over announcing duties for the opening match.

ECW Championship Match: Jack Swagger (c) vs. Matt Hardy.  That big silver belt still looks ridiculous on anyone not named Mark Henry.  We call the World title the “Big Gold Belt.”  Can we call this one the “Big Ugly Belt?”  Wow, in-ring introductions for the ECW Title match?  They lock up to start, then Matt starts throwing punches.  Swagger responds by initiating some mat wrestling.  As soon as Matt gets away, though, he goes back to brawling.  Swagger works on Hardy’s arm.  Striker says Swagger is the second youngest ECW Champion ever.  Who was the youngest?  I’ll have to look it up later.  My guess is Mikey Whipwreck.  Swagger hits a big belly to belly suplex for a near fall.  Striker is the new Jim Ross as far as random old school references.  Matt hits a moonsault(!) for a near fall.  Swagger throws Matt into the post and hits the Doctor Bomb to retain the title at 10:28.  Fine match, and thier TV match was pretty good too.  Swagger might be the first guy to have his PPV debut be a successful title defense.  Something else for me to research later!  That’s good, I’m going to have a lot of time to kill this evening.  Matt looks very upset.

Earlier tonight: Randy Orton arrived and all the midcarders snubbed him.  Now: a shot of Detroit to segway into Cole and Lawler being back on commentary for the next match.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Beth Phoenix (c) (w/ Santino Marella) vs. Melina.  I still can’t buy Melina as a smiling babyface.  She needs to hurry up and get done with this “I just came back from injury” babyface run and turn into a bitch again.  They do some stuff, and most of it looks sloppy.  Beth hits a running butt in the corner.  Beth puts Melina in a modified half crab-type move, then uses Melina’s foot to kick her in the head!  That’s nifty.  I guess Melina is too flexible for her own good.  Beth gorrila presses Melina.  Melina tries to counter out of it, but just falls.  Melina wins with a sunset flip-style cradle at 5:57 to win the title.  Bad match with one neat spot saving it from being a complete waste of time.

Michaels/JBL video package.  Oh yeah, that Cena character is somewhere in there too, but he’s not what’s important.  Backstage, JBL tells Shawn that if JBL wins the title tonight, Shawn will get all the money he’s owed and a spot in the Royal Rumble.  JBL leaves and Undertaker comes in.  Taker tells Shawn, “Sometimes, it’s hell to get to heaven.”  Okay.

WrestleMania 25, live on PPV April 5th!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. JBL (w/ Shawn Michaels).  JBL and Shawn come out without the limo.  Ironic, the one time the ramp looks like a street, JBL decides to walk down.  In-ring intros, then the referee gets a cheap thrill by feeling them up.  A minute and a half in, JBL bails to say something to Michaels.  Boring match.  These two have had like 500 matches, and only one of them was good.  Everyone, including me, is just waiting for Michaels to interfere.  10 minutes it, Cena gets JBL in the STF (no U anymore since WWE is kid friendly).  JBL escapes somehow, then hits the Clothesline From Hell for a near fall.  Cena goes for the move with which he goes for the victory, but JBL escapes, then there’s a ref bump.  Both men are down as Shawn gets in the ring.  Shawn superkicks JBL, then superkicks Cena.  Shawn puts JBL in top of Cena and leaves.  Another referee runs down to make the count, but Cena gets a shoulder up at two.  Cena goes for the victory and gets the win at 15:30.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.  It looks cool.

Ross and Tazz take over commentary for the WWE Title match.  Hardy/Edge video package.

WWE Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Edge (w/ Chavo Guerrero).  Jeff enters first, then Vickie Guerrero comes with her awful “Excuse me!” voice and tells Jeff that the match is No DQ.  Edge comes out with Chavo Guerrero as his second.  In-ring intros, the Jeff jumps Edge as soon as the bell rings.  Jeff tries to bring in a chair early, but Edge stops him, so Jeff just beats him up some more.  Edge ends up on the outside and Jeff dives off the apron onto him.  Edge gets back in the ring and Jeff tries to springboard, but Edge knocks him off thanks to a distraction from Chavo.  They do some more stuff, then Edge hugs Jeff on the mat.  Edge tries to bring chairs in the ring, but Jeff spears him off the apron, then hits a suicide dive.  Jeff hits a Twist of Fate on the ring apron.  Jeff pulls a ladder from under the ring and sets Edge up on one of the announce tables.  Jeff climbs up, but Chavo climbs up to stop him.  Chavo gets knocked off, then Jeff dives off the ladder and clotheslines him.  Jeff puts Chavo on the announce table, then dives off the ladder onto him!  That should take care of Chavo!  Back in the ring, Edge exposes the top turnbuckle!  Jeff blocks Edge’s attempt to ram his head into it and hits the Whisper In The Wind for a near fall.  Edge hits (I think) I reverse DDT for a near fall.  Jeff gets a near fall with an inside cradle.  Jeff finally takes the exposed turnbuckle face first.  Edge goes for the spear, but Jeff counters in mid move with the Twist of Fate.  Jeff goes up for the Swanton bomb.  Vickie comes out and tries to prevent it, but Jeff hits it anyway.  Vickie pulls the referee’s leg to stop the count.  Matt Hardy runs down with a chair and tosses Vickie in the ring.  Matt sets up Edge for a one man conchairto from Jeff, then double crosses him and nails his brother with the chair!  SWERVE!  Edge gets the pin and wins his 7th World Title in 3 years.  He’s never won one clean, either.  Anyway, match went about 20 minutes and was pretty good.  Edge and Vickie leave happy, then Matt leaves, then Jeff is helped out by the referees!

No Way Out, live of PPV February 15, with Elimination Chamber matches!

Todd Grisham interviews Randy Orton.  Orton says he doesn’t know what the repercussions of his kick will be, but as far as he knows, he’s still in the Rumble match.  Jericho steps in and says he approves of what Orton did.  Jericho thinks Orton is going to get fired tomorrow.  He wishes him good luck.

Royal Rumble “by the numbers” match video package.  It’s Rumble time!  Justin Roberts runs down the rules of the Rumble.  If we don’t all know how it works by now, we never well.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is the 2006 Royal Rumble winner, Rey Mysterio!  Ross and Lawler are back together to do commentary for the Rumble.  #2 is John Morrison.  This should be a good opening minute.  They take turns almost being eliminated.  #3 is Carlito.  Carlito spits apple in Morrison’s face.  Carlito hits a nice springboard moonsault on Morrison.  #4 is MVP, who gets a big babyface reaction.  Morrison hits his springboard kick on Carlito, then MVP hits the Drive By on Morrison.  #5 is Great Khali.  Khali destroys everyone.  #6 is Vladimir Kozlov.  He and Khali go right at it.  Kozlov eliminates Khali!  Kozlov dumps MVP as well.  He tries to eliminate Carlito, but Carlito saves himself and eats a Kozlov spinebuster, then Kozlov tosses him anyway.  Kozlov and Mysterio go at it.  #7 is Triple H, the 2002 Royal Rumble winner!!  Triple H goes straight for Kozlov, who he’s been having issues with.  Triple H gives Kozlov the crotch chop, then tosses him.  Morrison goes after Triple H, but gets a knee to the face.  #8 is Randy Orton!  Orton goes for the RKO on Triple H.  Triple H shoves him away and goes for the Pedigree, but eats Morrison’s springboard kick.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away on Orton, then the 619 on Morrison.  #9 is… Cryme Tyme.  Okay, they’ve got one spot between them so they flip a coin.  JTG wins the coin flip and heads to the ring.  Shad picks up the coin and sees that it was a two headed coin!  #10 is Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ awful new music).  Dibiase almost eliminates JTG and Morrison, but they both hold on and try to kick each other off of their hand holds.  Mysterio almost eliminates Orton.  #11 is Chris Jericho.  Jericho misses a Lionsault on Triple H.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Triple H prevents it, though.  #12 is Mike Knox (w/ beard).  Of course, he goes right after Mysterio first, then clocks JTG and Morrison for good measure.  #13 is The Miz.  The ring starting to fill up.  Ah, I see why.  Orton RKOs three guys, then gets Pedigreed.  Triple H tosses Morrison into Miz and they’re both eliminated.  #14 is Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Mysterio goes over the top, but uses Miz and Morrison as steps to get back in the ring.  Brilliant spot!  Finlay loves to fight, so he’s having a great time tonight.  #15 is Cody Rhodes (w/ awful music).  The three members of Legacy triple team Triple H, then Finlay.  Mysterio springboards off the ropes and Orton catches him in mid-air with the RKO!  #16 is The Undertaker!  Undertaker beats up everybody and tosses JTG.  Taker beats up Cody.  #17 is Goldust.  Goldust nails Dibiase, then smacks his little brother.  Goldust almost eliminates Cody, but Orton gives him the RKO.  At Orton’s direction, Cody eliminates Goldust.  #18 is CM PUNK!  He tries to do his springboard into the ring, but slips on the ropes.  Hey, those ropes are sweaty by this point!  Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Punk, but Punk counters and nails the Go 2 Sleep!  #19 is Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas).  Henry beats on Taker and others. #20 is Shelton Benjamin.  As Punk and Jericho fight on the top rope, Shelton jumps up and hits a double Paydirt!  Triple H almost eliminates Punk.  #21 is William Regal (w/ Layla)  He goes straight for Punk, who beat him for the Intercontinental Title last Monday.  Mysterio low bridges Mark Henry, leading to the World’s Strongest Man being eliminated.  #22 is Kofi Kingston.  Undertaker eliminates Benjamin.  Jericho is trying hard to eliminate Mysterio.  #23 is Kane.  Taker is bleeding.  He and Kane united to chokeslam Dibiase.  Kane chokeslams Kofi as well.  Punk eliminates Regal.  #24 is R-Truth.  #25 is ROB VAN DAM!  He looks out of shape and rusty, but he’s still super crazy over.  RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash on R-Truth, but doesn’t hit it as Triple H tries to stop him and RVD has to jump over.  #26 is The Brian Kendrick (w/ Ezekiel Jackson), who eliminates Kingston, but is promptly eliminated himself by Triple H.  #27 is Dolph Ziggler.  He introduces himself to Kane, who tosses him.  #28 is Santino Marella.  He lasts approximately two seconds before being clotheslined over the top rope and eliminated by Kane.  “I WASN’T READY!” he protests.  Santino is awesome.  #29 is winner of the 1988 Royal Rumble, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, to a big pop.  Hacksaw beats up everyone!  #30 is The Big Show!  Show and Undertaker go face to face, but Kane interjects himself and nails Show.  Duggan goes after Show and gets tossed for his trouble.  Duggan shockingly got a nice push in this Rumble and was crazy over.  Show press slams R-Truth out of the ring.  Undertaker tosses Cody, who holds on and saves himself.  Show fails three times to eliminate Punk, but finally nails him with the big punch and Punk falls off the apron to be eliminated.  Knox and Mysterio are eliminated.  Hornswoggle comes in and saves Finlay from getting chokeslammed by Kane.  Kane backdrops Finlay out of the ring to eliminate him.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Kane.  Orton hits his sick DDT on Triple H.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Orton, then gets eliminated by Jericho.  Jericho turns around into the Undertaker.  They go at it, then Taker eliminates Jericho.  Legacy eliminates Kane.  We’re down to six.  Triple H fight Shows as Legacy go after Undertaker.  Show chokeslams Triple H.  Undertaker chokeslams Orton, Dibiase, and Rhodes in turn.  Undertaker and Big Show trade punches.  Taker hits the big boot and sends Show out, but Show holds on too!  There’s WAY too much of that in this Rumble.  Orton tries to RKO Taker, but Taker shoves him away.  Undertaker and Show goozle each other on the apron.  Orton RKO’s Show, who falls to floor for the elimination.  Show pulls Taker off the apron to eliminate him.  Taker and Show brawl into the crowd.  Final four: Triple H and Legacy.  Triple H gets triple teamed.  He counters an RKO attempt and goes on the offensive.  He hits the knee facebuster on Cody and the spinebuster on Dibiase.  He Pedigrees Rhodes and tosses Dibiase.  He tosses Cody, but Orton bundles Triple H out from behind to win the Royal Rumble at 58:38.  Orton celebrates his ticket to WrestleMania!

Not the best Rumble PPV by any means, but Edge and Hardy had a good match, and the Rumble itself is always fun.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/19/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open then the annual Martin Luther King Day video.

6 months ago: The set fell on Mr. McMahon.  Raw open.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Raw LIVE from Chicago!  Technically, Rosemont, but I’m nitpicking.  We’re kicking things off tonight with a Royal Rumble Preview: Six-man Battle Royal!

Battle Royal: Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Kane vs. Santino Marella vs. Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Cody Rhodes.  Priceless has had their music remixed.  It sounds awful.  There’s a brief malfunction with the lights.  Kofi and Santino go at it while Legacy goes after Kane.  Dibiase dumps Santino.  Rhodes dumps Kingston.  Kane eliminates Rhodes, then Dibiase.  No, wait, Dibiase hands on!  Kane tries to put Orton out, but Dibiase gets involved and all three go over.  Orton hangs on and prevents his feet from touching the ground at to win at 1:50.

TONIGHT: Cena and JBL sign on the dotted line for the Rumble title match.  Commercial.

Backstage, CM Punk is preparing for yet another Intercontinental Championship match with William Regal tonight.  If they don’t get a proper match this week, I’m going to be pissed.

Non-Title: WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly.  It’s quick and fairly painless, as Beth wins with the Glam Slam in 1:10.

Orton and Dibiase are chatting backstage.  Rhodes comes in and says that Manu and Sim Snuka were in Stephanie McMahon’s office, and the rumor is Stephanie is going to fire Orton tonight.

Cena/JBL Rumble hype, emphasis on Shawn Michaels.

They put over that today is Bush’s last day in office.  Still to come tonight: Mr. McMahon returns and Rey Mysterio faces Mike Knox.

Backstage, Santino informs Beth that he’s hired Rosa Mendez as their new intern.  I see a love triangle coming.

Stephanie is on the phone with her nanny when Orton comes in.  Stephanie says Orton isn’t getting fired, so he can stop sucking up.  They end up arguing.  Stephanie slaps him.  Commercial.

John Cena has a new movie coming out.  Oh dear.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match (No DQ): William Regal (c) (w/ Layla) vs. CM Punk.  Punk is the hometown hero.  Hopefully that means he’s going over.  He also has a spot in the Royal Rumble.  Collar and elbow tie up to start.  Regal grabs a headlock.  Punk breaks away and hits a dropkick.  Punk blasts Regal with kicks.  The fight outside briefly.  Punk works Regal’s arm.  Regal makes it to the ropes as we take a commercial break.  Dammit.  Back from break, Punk has Regal in the Anaconda Vice on the ropes.  It’s No DQ, so he doesn’t have to break.  Layla forces him to break it.  Regal does that nasty “kick Punk’s head into the turnbuckle” bit he did in their match last summer.  Regal hits a drop toehold in the ring and goes for the Regal Stretch, then knees Punk in the head to try to weaken him.  Punk gets out and fires up with kicks.  Punk hits the corner knee and goes the bulldog, but Regal counters with a half-nelson suplex!  Regal blasts Punk with knees to the head.  They fight on the top rope, but Punk kicks Regal away.  Punk is FIRED UP!  He goes for a cross body off the top but Regal ducks.  Regal goes for the knee kick, but Punk dodges and NAILS the Go 2 Sleep to win the title at 9:47!  PUNK WINS!  Punk celebrates hard in front of his adoring hometown fans.

Last week: Cena and Michaels had an awesome match.  Tonight: I wasn’t paying attention, but I’m sure it was the Cena/JBL signing.

Back from commercial, Jerry Lawler is in the ring to moderate the contract signing.  JBL (w/ Michaels) comes out first.  Cena follows to a big pop.  Cena says Shawn isn’t broken, he’s still got it.  JBL talks about Shawn like he’s not even though.  Shawn finally has enough and tells JBL he despises him, but will continue to work for him to provide for his family.  They banter back and forth.  I don’t really pay attention.  It ends, of course, with JBL cheapshotting Cena.  Michaels goes to give Cena a superkick, but Cena ducks and JBL kicks Cena.  JBL lariats Cena and leaves him laying.

WWE Slam of the Week: Last week, Rey Mysterio finally fought back against Mike Knox.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox.  Rey comes out wearing one of those masks he likes to wear over his masks.  Sorry Rey, but no matter how many masks you wear, you will never match the awesomeness of Knox’s beard.  Todd Grisham tries to catch a word with Mike Knox on his way to the ring.  Knox says he doesn’t have anything against Mysterio and doesn’t have a reason for attacking him.  Well, at least they explained it.  Mysterio goes for the 619 early, but Knox catches his leg and does that slingshot move Albert used to do.  Knox attacks Mysterio in the corner and the ref calls for the DQ at 2:30.  Knox gives Rey his finish after the match.

Stephanie McMahon finds Chris Jericho in her office.  He tells her Vince said he can plead his case tonight.

Smackdown Rebound: Edge was happy Jeff Hardy wasn’t hurt in the car accident, but then Jeff’s pyro exploded!  If he had seen Ready To Rumble, he’d know to watch out for the pyro.  Jeff vs. Edge for the WWE Title this Sunday at the Rumble!

World Tag Team Champions John Morrison & The Miz are in the ring.  They want to commemorate this Royal Rumble by beating the winner of the very first Royal Rumble, Hacksaw Jim Duggan!  Cryme Tyme come out instead and say Duggan is gone on a special assignment, but they have a counter offer.  They want a title shot.  Miz & Morrison say they’re not going to give them a title shot.  Cryme Tyme say they’ll earn their shot.  We have a non-title match!

Non-Title: World Tag Team Champions John Morrison & The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme.  Shad pins Morrison with a STO-type move at 1:22.  Geeze, 3 matches tonight under 2 minutes, one under 3, and the longest was under 10.

Earlier tonight: Stephanie slapped Randy Orton.

Lawler and Cole hype the Royal Rumble Match.

Cody Rhodes is chatting with Mickie James backstage.  His brother, Goldust, steps in and gives Cody a copy of the Starrcade DVD.  Cody says he doesn’t need it.  He joined with Orton so he wouldn’t waste his talents like Goldust did.  He says when they make a Cody Rhodes DVD, he’ll send his brother and dad a copy.  I’ll buy a copy, then sprinkle some salt on the spots where hell just froze over.

A limo arrives, presumably carrying Mr. McMahon.

Tomorrow night on ECW, a fatal four-way match!

Jillian sings.  Badly.  Again.  They show the beatdown she and Beth gave Melina last week, which leads to…

Jillian Hall vs. Melina.  Santino, Rosa, and Beth come out.  Jillian and Melina botch a sidewalk slam.  Melina wins in 1:23, I think with the Code Red, but I wasn’t paying attention.  Rosa attacks Melina after the match, then Beth gives Melina the Glam Slam.

Dolph Ziggler is backstage talking to Candice Michelle.  Mr. McMahon steps in and introduces himself, but Ziggler is star struck and can’t remember his name.  Heh.

Earlier tonight: Cena/JBL/Michaels stuff.

Mr. McMahon hits the ring!  He calls out Jericho to air his grievances.  He complains about the horrible job Stephanie has done running things.  Vince calls out Stephanie to retort.  Vince tells Jericho he’s not going to reinstate him or fire Stephanie, and that he and Steph will run Raw together.  Stephanie says Jericho can have his job back if he apologizes.  Jericho initially refuses, but then does.  Not good enough, though.  Steph wants him to apologize to the fans.  On his knees.  Jericho drops to his knees and gives a half-hearted apology to the fans.  Stephanie tells Jericho she’ll see him at the Rumble, then tells him to leave.  Vince and Steph hug as Orton’s music hits.  He’s still smarting from the slap.  Orton wants Steph to apologize.  Vince says no.  Orton says he’s worth more than Stephanie.  Stephanie gets angry and Vince tells her to leave.  Vince orders Orton to apologize, or he’s fired.  Orton tells Vince he doesn’t want to do that.  Vince says “YOU’RE…,” then Orton slaps him and kicks him in the head.  Vince is dead.  Stephanie and agents, among them DEAN MALENKO!, check on him.  They put Vince in a neckbrace as the show fades to black.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/12/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

JBL talks to Shawn Michaels about his match with John Cena tonight.

Raw open, then Stephanie McMahon makes her entrance as Cole and Lawler welcome us LIVE to Sioux City, Iowa.  She talks about Vince’s return next week, but Chris Jericho interrupts her.  He thinks Vince will give him JBL’s title shot at the Royal Rumble.  Jericho brings up Stephanie putting Mike Adamle in charge of Raw, and Stephanie blames that one on Shane.  She then makes a crack about Jericho not being World Champion anymore, and says Cena vs. JBL is set in stone.  Stephanie says Jericho has a match tonight.  Jericho says no.  They argue.  Jericho no sells her authority.  Stephanie fires Jericho.  Well Chris, maybe you shouldn’t have called her all those ugly names back in the day.  Jericho looks shocked as the show goes to commercial.

Moments ago: Stephanie fired Jericho.

During the commercial: Security escorted Jericho out of the building.

NOW: Lawler and Cole are at ringside.  Miz’s music hits.

The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio.  The only question here is, will Knox cost Mysterio the match, or wait until afterwards to attack him?  Miz sits on a sunset flip attempt for a near fall.  He goes for the Reality Check, but Mysterio hits an armdrag, then the 619 and a springboard splash for the win at 3:30.  Where’s Knox?  Oh, there he is.  Mysterio actually fights him off this time.

Candice (w/ awful looking hair) tries to talk to CM Punk about Vince’s return.  Punk, however, is focused on his Intercontinental Championship match against William Regal.  It’s NEXT!  WOOO!

They’re putting over Vince’s return big.  They show his evolution from mild mannered announcer to the “Mr. McMahon” character.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match:
William Regal (w/ Layla) (c) vs. CM Punk.  Punk hits a backslide early, but doesn’t get a count.  Punk gets in offense.  Regal can’t maul Punk because he loses the title on a DQ.  Punk gets DQ’d for a low blow at 1:58.  Two weeks in a row, they fuck up a Regal/Punk match.  WWE could fuck up a wet dream.

Mickie (w/ bad hair) talks to Cody Rhodes about the weather.  Sim Snuka and Manu are upset that he stuck with Orton after Orton kicked them to the curb.  Sim and Manu are going after Orton tonight, and they say they have another second generation guy on their side.

Starrcade DVD out tomorrow!  I want!

Todd Grisham asks Regal if he’s satisfied with his victory.  Regal is.  Stephanie books Regal vs. Punk No DQ for next week.  I’m sure that one will end in 1 minute by count-out.

Stone Cold Steve Austin is announced as the first inductee in the Hall of Fame, class of 2009.  They show an awesome video package on him.  It starts off with nice, slow music, the turns into “Cult of Personality.”  Fun fact: that was Punk’s theme during his ROH World Title reign.

JBL tells Michaels he can’t lose tonight with JBL in his corner.  Michaels says he doesn’t need him to win.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox next week!

Kane vs. Randy Orton (w/ Cody Rhodes).  The fight for a minute, then a commercial break, then they fight some more.  Couldn’t that commercial have lasted until the finish?  Kane counters an RKO attempt and goes for the diving clothesline, but Orton catches him with a dropkick and pins him at 8:43.  It looked like Kane’s shoulder was up.  Since when has that mattered in WWE?  That kind of shit happens all the time.  On a replay, Kane’s shoulder was indeed up.  Snuka and Manu come out and want to know were Cody stands.  They reveal their backup: Ted Dibiase Jr.!  Of course, there are no juniors in WWE, so he’s just Ted Dibiase, and the next time his dad is on TV, he’ll be Ted Dibiase Sr.  Anyway, all four surround Orton.  Then Orton, Rhodes, and Dibase jump Snuka and Manu.  Rhodes gives Snuka his finish, then Dibiase gives Manu his.  So Dibiase is ok with Orton punting him in the head a few months ago?

Earlier tonight, again: Stephanie fired Jericho.

Grisham interviews John Cena.

WWE Rewind: Goldust & Melina beat Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella last week.  Rosa Mendez attacked Melina and was banned from WWE arenas.

WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall vs. Melina & Kelly Kelly.  Rosa jumps Melina during her entrance.  Security drags her off and the heels attack the faces in the aisle.  The faces get beat down and the match never happens.

Last year, Vince got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Cole and Lawler run down the Royal Rumble card.

Orton, Dibiase, and Rhodes are talking backstage.

Jamie Noble, Dolph Ziggler, Goldust, and Cryme Tyme are outside Stephanie McMahon’s office hoping for Royal Rumble spots.  Santino comes out and says he’s in.  It sucks that he’s not getting much TV time anymore.

Still another plug for Kennedy’s movie.

Next week: Regal vs. Punk for the IC title, No DQ, and it’s in Punk’s hometown!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels (w/ JBL).  They shake hands, then go to commercial.  DAMMIT.  They wait until we come back from break to ring the bell.  That was nice of them.  For those of you who haven’t read the news, Cena’s F-U is now called the Throwback, because WWE is kid friendly now.  When Cena went for the STFU early on, Cole called it the STF, so I guess the U is gone from that too.  They have a good match as always.  At 6 minutes, Michaels locks in a figure-four leglock.  Cena gets out and they fight some more.  Michaels catches Cena coming off the top and locks in the Crippler Crossface.  Cena struggles to get out.  Cena finally gets a rope break.  Commercial.  Back from break, Cena is making his comeback.  During the break, Michaels did the Flair flip out of the ring.  Now Cena is working on Michaels’ back.  Cena does a bearhug.  That’s new.  They do some more stuff.  Michaels powerbombs Cena from the ropes.  Cena kicks out but plays dead.  Michaels misses the diving elbow when Cena moves.  Cena hits the five knuckle shuffle and goes for the F-U, but Michaels counters and hits a DDT.  Cena kicks out.  I should note that the announcers haven’t said “F-U” or “Throwback” once, even though Cena has attempted it like 5 times so far.  Cole just says Cena is “going for the victory.”  Cena ducks the superkick and “goes for the victory” again, but Michaels kicks out of the move which Cena uses when attempting the victory.  Shawn NAILS Cena with a superkick and lays on him for the cover, but Cena kicks out.  Cena goes for the victory again, but Michaels counters with a sunset flip for a near fall.  Cena locks in the STF.  JBL pushes the rope to Michaels, allowing Michaels to get a rope break.  Cena goes for the victory again, but Michaels gets out and hits the superkick for the win at 24:45.  Great match, as always with these two.  Good ending to an otherwise weak show, wrestling-wise.  JBL stands over Cena as the show ends.

Next week, Vince returns to Raw!

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/5/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Originally posted on 1/6/09.

We start with a recap of the Michaels/JBL angle from last week.

The first live shot is Chris Jericho and Randy Orton in the ring.  Jericho whines about Michaels and JBL working together in the four-way last week.  They say they have filed formal complaints and want JBL removed from the Royal Rumble title match.  This is ricockulous.  JBL’s music hits, and Cole and Lawler finally introduce us the show LIVE from New Orleans!  Wait, Michaels is riding in the limo with JBL!  JBL tells them to shut up, because he won the title shot.  Jericho makes a valid point, saying that for months last year he tries to tell everyone that Michaels was a sellout, and it turned out he was right.  Stephanie McMahon finally comes out and upholds the referee’s decision, since Shawn actually didn’t lay down, he got knocked down.  Stephanie tells Jericho and Orton that they are both in the Rumble match.  Jericho says Shawn shouldn’t be allowed in the Rumble.  JBL agrees, and says Shawn’s only job at the Rumble is to support JBL as he goes for the title.  Stephanie books Jericho & Orton vs. Michaels & Cena for tonight.  Shawn plays the pathetic, miserable old guy remarkable well.

CM Punk vs. William Regal for the Intercontinental Championship TONIGHT!

WWE Slam of the Week: the Diva Battle Royal and subsequent Beth/Melina brawl from last week.

Goldust & Melina vs. Santino Marella & WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix.  Melina pins Beth with a jackknife hold at 3:17.  Rosa Mendez jumps the guardrail and attacks Melina before security takes her away.  Melina jumps the guardrail and goes after her again anyway, then comes back to celebrate her win.

Todd Grisham interviews CM Punk.  Punk says he wants to add his name to the list of great Intercontinental Champions such as Ricky Steamboat, Bret Hart, and Mr. Perfect.  Punk even mentions that he lost to Regal in the King of the Ring final last year, so he wants revenge for that… even though he beat Regal clean in a non-title match when he was World Champion.  Anyway, it’s next, and it’s gonna rule!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: William Regal (w/ Layla) vs. CM Punk.  This is going to own.  Regal, being an awesome prick, uses Layla as a shield so Punk can’t dive on him.  Regal then does what he does best: beating the fuck out of someone.  Punk fights back with his usual strikes.  Punk gets Regal up for the Go 2 Sleep, but Regal grabs the ref to cause the DQ at 2:56.  FUCK.  RESTART!  Dammit, where’s… oh, there she is.  Dammit, no restart, but close: Stephanie says Punk will have a rematch, and if Regal gets DQ’d, he loses the title.  WHEN?  Dammit.  Oh well, at least they’re keeping the angle going.

JBL tells Michaels how much it will benifit him to help Jericho and Orton destroy Cena tonight.

Randy Orton tells Cody Rhodes and Sim Snuka that they passed phased one, and if they win their matches tonight, they’re in.  Manu walks up and asks for a second chance, citing, correctly, that Orton lost his match last week too.  Orton rips into him and tells him that he will never be part of the group, and that he never wanted to see his face again.

Dolph Ziggler introduces himself to Mickie James as Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston head to the ring for the Tag Team title shot.  It’s NEXT!

This Friday night on Smackdown: Triple H pissed of Vickie, so now he’s gonna get fucked up!

World Tag Team Championship Match: John Morrison & The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. & Kofi Kingston.  What exactly have Mysterio & Kingston done as a team to warrant a tag title shot?  Miz & Morrison cut a promo before the match.  During Rey’s entrance, they show clips from the 10-man tag last week.  In less than a minute, the show goes to commercial.  Back from break, Miz works over Rey, but Rey makes the hot tag and Kofi cleans house.  Morrison pulls Kofi’s leg and makes him fall off the top rope, then Morrison works over Kofi’s leg.  Kofi later does a nip up rana on Morrison.  More than one person in WWE is ripping off AJ Styles!  Kofi finally hot tags Mysterio.  Mysterio hits the 619, but before he can springboard, he has to deal with Miz, and Morrison recovers to catch him coming off the top with his kick to retain the titles at 11:53.  Mike Knox destroys Mysterio after the match… again.

Michaels is getting ready in the locker room.  Cena comes in and wonders what he should expect from HBK tonight.

Buy the Edge DVD, it’s good!

Kelly Kelly vs. Jillian Hall.  Last week, it was revealed that Orton banged Kelly and then wouldn’t return her calls.  Jillian comes out singing “When The Saints Go Marching In.”  Badly.  Because that’s her gimmick.  I can’t sing and I have big boobs.  Can I get a job with WWE?  Jillian gets heat on Kelly, Kelly makes a comeback.  Kelly goes for a victory roll, but Jillian sits on it and almost gets the pin.  Kelly hits a leg drop that was more like a Fameasser for the win at 4:22.  Jillian attacks Kelly after the match, but Kane comes out!  Kane says Kelly now knows it doesn’t feel so good being rejected.  He says next week he’s going to eviscerate Randy Orton.  Huh?

Royal Rumble hype.

More hype for Triple H facing Triple Jeopardy on Smackdown.

Oh, eviscerate means “to take out the entrails of.”

Cody Rhodes & Sim Snuka vs. Cryme Tyme.  This match started while I was consulting a dictionary.  Rhodes and Snuka have to win to stay in Orton’s group.  Good guys get heat on JTG until he makes the hot tag to Shad.  He cleans house, then JTG comes back in.  Rhodes hits the Roll of the Dice (that move Reno did in WCW… I think Test did it too) on JTG for the win at 5:52.

JBL is UP TO SOMETHING!

Tomorrow night on ECW, Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry and Finlay vs. Jack Swagger!  Tomorrow night at night on Sci-Fi!

Plug for Kennedy’s movie.

Orton congratulates Rhodes, then tells Sim he’s out since he didn’t win the fall.

Stephanie tells Santino and Beth that Rosa Mendez is banned.  I think.  Santino says funny things.  They leave.  Jericho walks in and asks Stephanie why JBL was in her office earlier.  Jericho tells Stephanie that Vince McMahon will return to Raw in two weeks.  Stephanie looks worried.

The main event is NEXT!

Chris Jericho & Randy Orton vs. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena & Shawn Michaels.  Michaels cooperates with Cena a little early.  JBL comes out to watch as the show goes to commercial.  Dammit.  Back from break, Michaels gets away from Orton and tags Cena in.  Cena goes for the F-U and Michaels actually blocks Jericho from stopping it.  Orton rakes Cena’s eyes to get out, then Cena accidentally almost F-U’s Shawn.  I don’t pay attention for a minute, then Jericho is working Cena over.  Cena goes for the F-U, but Jericho counters with a DDT.  Awesome.  Cena plays face in peril.  Cena finally hits the diving Fameasser thing on Jericho.  Cena tries to tag Michaels, but Jericho tags Orton first and Orton stops Cena from making the tag.  Cena makes the tag and Shawn looks undecided about what to do.  Jericho makes the decision for him by attacking him, so Michaels has to defend himself.  Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Shawn gets his knees up.  Shawn does the slam and the diving elbow, but Jericho gets his knees up.  Turnabout is fairplay.  Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Michaels gets an inside cradle.  Orton breaks the cover.  Orton hits the 3.0 on Cena and goes for the RKO, but Shawn superkicks him, then superkicks Jericho for the pin at 15:55.

Todd Grisham asks JBL and Michaels’ actions.  JBL says he talked to Stephanie McMahon earlier, and next week it’s Michaels (w/ JBL) vs. Cena.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown 4/23/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Smackdown Goes Home”

WWE open, “Last Friday on Smackdown…” video.  We are TAPED from the Mohegan Sun Casino!  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger comes out and cuts a promo.  They show highlights of his match with The Undertaker from Raw, but edited to look like Swagger won.  He says he hopes to get drafted to Smackdown next week.  Does it really make any fucking difference when he’s on every week anyway?

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison.  Swagger does his amateur stuff.  Morrison his a knee to the face for 2.  Swagger hits a HUGE belly to belly suplex/powerslam.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger works a body scissors.  Swagger goes for a superplex, but Morrison fights him off and hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Morrison gets a la magistral for 2.  Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck, but Swagger catches him with a boot to the middle for 2.  Swagger works an abdominal stretch.  Morrison fights out and tries some flippy-ness, but Swagger turns it into almost a German suplex.  Swagger is bleeding from the mouth.  Amazingly the match hasn’t been stopped for it yet.  Swagger works a shoulder/neck hold.  Morrison fights out and plants Swagger with a DDT.  Morrison mounts his comeback.  Morrison catches Swagger with a big kick for 2.  Morrison gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck for 2.  Swagger hot shots Morrison into the ropes and hits the Doctor Bomb,  but Morrison reaches the ropes to break the count.  Morrison drops Swagger with a big kick and hits the Starship Pain for the pin (9:04 shown).  That’s right, the World Champion just did a clean job for John Morrison.  On the last show before the PPV.  Oh well, that’ll give Morrison steam going into his big PPV match with… wait, Morrison isn’t ON the PPV, while Jack Swagger is DEFENDING THE FUCKING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.  I missed the bit in the Observer about WWE rehiring Vince Russo.

Australia tour!

Mohegan Sun Casino!

CM Punk complains to Teddy Long about Rey Mysterio cutting his hair on Raw.  Long books the Straight Edge Society vs. Mysterio & Kane for tonight.

R-Truth (showing no ill effects from being exploded on Raw) and Matt Hardy come out for tag team action.  It’s NEXT!

R-Truth & Matt Hardy vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler.  Truth and Ziggler start.  Truth works a side headlock.  I always enjoy that.  Hardy tags in and manages to hot shot Ziggler into the middle rope.  Hardy goes to deck McIntyre, who drops off the apron.  Insta-commercials.  Hardy fights out of Ziggler’s side headlock and gets rolling on offense.  Hardy ends up on the steps somehow and McIntyre STOMPS Hardy’s head into the steps.  Awesome.  Ziggler rolls Hardy back in the ring and covers for 2.  Hardy’s shit is all fucked up.  The referee stops the match and gives McIntyre & Ziggler the win (4:23 shown).  Whatever.  I just hope they end up doing something with this “McIntyre kills Hardy repeatedly” deal.  As R-Truth and the referees go to help Hardy out, McIntyre jumps him and sends him into the steps again.  McIntyre tells Hardy this is the last time he ever wants to see him.

Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett are headed our way!  A Steel Cage is being lowered!

WWE Smack of the Night: Jericho re-injuring Edge’s ankle last week.

Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett come out to the cage.  Jericho cuts a promo about how he is going to end Edge’s career on Sunday.  Edge comes out to rebut and make fun of Jericho for losing to Heath Slater on NXT.  Edge gets in the cage and talks about all of his injuries will giving Jericho the crazy eyes.  Edge attacks Jericho and Barrett.  They get the advantage on him, but Edge comes back and sets up to spear Jericho.  Jericho bails and closes the cage door, refusing to open it to let Barrett out.  Edge kicks Barrett’s ass and spears him.

Mysterio & Kane vs. the Straight Edge Society TONIGHT!

MacGruber trailer.

Australia tour!

Last Friday… Shad Gaspard attacked JTG, but JTG fought him off!

Shad Gaspard (who SUITED UP!) has joined Striker and Grisham for commentary.

JTG vs. Mike Knox.  JTG connects with punches.  Knox hits the Flying Bear for 2.  Knox hits a big splash on JTG for 2.  Knox beats up JTG a bit.  JTG makes his comeback.  JTG hits the Mugshot and Knox bails.  JTG takes him out with a dive, then argues with Shad.  JTG rolls Knox back in the ring, stares at Shad, then goes back in to hit his shitty Sling Blade for the win in 1:46.  Knox’s last hurrah in WWE.  Sad face from Chui.  Shad comes in, drops JTG with a boot, and whips him with a strap.  Strap Match this Sunday!  Shad yells “MY TIME!” at JTG.

The DRAFT is this Monday!

Mohegan Sun Casino!

Extreme Rules card hype.

They show the Straight Edge Society/Triple H/Rey Mysterio stuff from Raw.

There’s a barber chair!  Because Punk might get a haircut on Sunday!

A women’s tag match is NEXT!

Saliva did the PPV theme!

WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool & Layla (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Beth Phoenix & Mickie James.  Beth beats up Layla.  McCool blind tags herself in and cuts off Beth’s airplane spin.  Striker makes a Hiroshi Hase reference.  McCool beats up Phoenix.  The heels work on Beth’s leg.  Mickie gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Mickie hits a diving Thesz press on Layla, but McCool saves.  Phoenix takes out McCool.  Layla hits a neckbreaker on Mickie for the pin in 3:00.  McCool and Layla dispose of Mickie (her last hurrah in WWE as well), then whip Beth into an ironing board.  McCool drops Beth with a kick, then Layla paints her face with lipstick.  Good way to build the PPV match, I guess.

Mysterio and Kane talk strategy.  The height difference is hilarious.

Australia tour!

The Straight Edge Society comes out for the main event.  Punk cuts a promo on Rey Mysterio.

CM Punk & Luke Gallows (w/ Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. & Kane.  Punk whispers in Gallows’ ear, then Gallows and Mysterio start.  Mysterio does h is usual “kick the big guy’s leg.”  Gallows slams Mysterio and drops some elbows, then tags in Punk.  Punk beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio makes the tag to Kane.  Punk very quickly backs away.  Insta-commercials!  Kane and Gallows have their obligatory big guy fight.  Punk tags in and springboards right into a punch from Kane.  Mysterio tags in and runs wild on Punk until he gets sent into the top turnbuckle.  Punk hits the knee to the corner and the bulldog for 2.  The bad guys get the heat on Mysterio.  Mysterio drops Gallows with a flippy DDT and makes the hot tag to Kane.  Punk tags in as well and gets beaten up.  Kane hits the diving clothesline for 2, as Gallows saves.  Mysterio low bridges Gallows out of the ring.  Kane boots Punk and tags in Mysterio.  Mysterio hits the splash off of Kane’s shoulders, but Punk kicks out.  Mysterio sets up the 619.  Serena distracts the ref and Gallows pulls Mysterio out of the ring.  Kane deals with Gallows.  Punk jumps Mysterio when he gets back into the ring.  Mysterio springboards into Go 2 Sleep position.  Mysterio tries to counter with a sunset flip, but Punk squashes it for the pin (7:03 shown).  Punk keeps beating on Mysterio after the match.  Punk bails from a 619 attempt, but Mysterio baseball slide dropkicks him into the barber chair.  Mysterio gets the clippers, but Serena saves Punk  Pretty good match.

WWE Over The Limit commercial.  Let’s get through Extreme Rules first, eh?

The DRAFT!

Kind of a lame show this week, but some if it was okay.

WWE Superstars 3/11/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

Missed the open.  Whoops.  I assume it went something like “WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.”  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are on as the first announce team.

Doplh Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin.  Ziggler hammers Shelton, pissed about his lost last week on Smackdown.  Shelton goes for something, but Ziggler slips out and goes for the sleeper hold.  Benjamin fights out.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler stomps Shelton, then hits an elbow drop for 2.  Shelton rallies.  Ziggler avoids the Dragon Whip, but Shelton hits a Samoan drop for 2.  Shelton jumps to the top and they both take weird bumps.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for 2.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold for the win in 3:39.  Fine enough, I guess.  Nothing good, but nothing offensively bad.

Tonight, MVP & Christian take on Carlito & Chavito!

Shawn Michaels/Undertaker video package.

WWE.com plug.

Mike Knox vs. Goldust.  Knox hammers Goldust.  Knox actually hits a dropkick for 2.  Goldust makes his comeback and hits his bulldog for 2.  Goldust hits the snap powerslam for 2.  Goldust avoids a big boot, then gets hit with the Flying Bear for 2.  Goldust hits the Final Cut for the pin in 2:30.  Disappointing.

Highlights of this week’s NXT.

Same WrestleMania Recall from Raw, which is mainly to hype Stone Cold Steve Austin being guest host for Raw this money.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are now announcing.

Santino Marella vs. Zack Ryder (w/ Rosa Mendez).  Ryder works a side headlock.  Santino fights back.  Ryder hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ryder beats up Santino.  Santino hulks up and makes a comeback.  Santino hits his cobra strike, then gets distracted by Rosa.  Ryder pulls Santino across the top rope, then hits the Rough Ryder and Zack Attack for the pin in 3:09.  Whatever.  This show is getting lamer and lamer.  The main event better deliver.

Batista video, Raw Rebound, WrestleMania card hype.

The main event is NEXT!

Montel Vontavious Porter & Christian (w/ Heath Slater) vs. Carlito (w/ Michael Tarver) & Chavo Guerrero Jr.  MVP and Chavo feign kicks at each other, then lock up.  They do some more stuff, then MVP hits an elbow smash for 2.  Christian and Carlito tag in.  They do some stuff.  Carlito sends Christian off of the apron and into the guardrail.  Commercials.  Christian plays face in peril.  Carlito comes off the top, but Christian catches him with his feet.  MVP gets the hot tag and runs wild.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow drop on Carlito.  Chavo pulls Carlito out of the ring.  MVP dropkicks them both.  MVP gets beaten up on the outside.  Back inside, Chavo tags in and hits the Eddie hilo.  “VINTAGE CHAVO!”  The bad guys get heat on MVP.  I just noticed, and I’m pretty sure, the ring ropes were white for the Smackdown matches and red for the Raw matches.  I guess they don’t even pretend these aren’t taped.  Christian tags in and runs wild.  Christian hits his springboard sunset flip for 2 in Chavo, then the diving European uppercut.  Christian nails Carlito, then goes for the sunset flip again, but Chavo squashes it for 2.  Chavo goes for the Three Amigos, but Christian counters the third and hits the reverse DDT.  Carlito saves.  MVP takes Carlito out of the ring.  Christian goes for the Killswitch.  Chavo counters and hits a brainbuster (which Cole incorrectly calls the Gory Bomb).  Christian avoids the frog splash and hits the Killswitch for the pin in 13:00.  It was fine.

Disappointing show, but at least I don’t have to watch Impact now.

WWE Superstars 3/4/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the first announce team.

Kofi Kingston vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Nice wrestling to start.  Kofi does some jumping around and hits Chavo with a kick and an elbow, then applies an ARMBAR!  The referee puts the match on halt to check a cut above Chavo’s eye.  He’s pissed now, presumably because he hates this stupid rule, and goes on the attack.  Kofi fights back, but Chavo drops him with a rolling kick for 2.  Chavo stays on the attack, throws Kofi out of the ring, and wipes him out with a dive.  Chavo hits the Eddie hilo coming back in for 2.  Chavo works Kofi’s arm a bit.  Kofi counters out of a hammerlock with a cool snapmare, then takes out Chavo with a dive.  Back inside, Kofi goes up top, but Chavo meets him and goes for a superplex.  Kofi fights him off and hits a diving cross body for 1.  Kofi hits chops and a dropkick, then the Boom Drop.  Kofi signals for the Trouble In Paradise.  Chavo goes to the apron to avoid it, then locks in a Lance Storm-esque rolling half crab.  Kofi escapes.  Chavo avoids the Trouble In Paradise a second time, then Kofi manages to hit it for the pin in 6:30.  It was fine.  The pausing for blood shit is annoying.

Tonight, Chris Jericho takes on Goldust!  That’s gonna rule.

William Regal vs. Evan Bourne.  Jobber entrance for Regal.  Regal works Bourne’s arm.  Bourne tries to counter out in a awesome, headscissors like way, but Regal drops him and clamps on his armlock again.  Man, I love Regal.  Bourne monkey flips him and hits a headscissors, then dropkicks him.  Bourne grabs a side headlock.  Regal manages to fight out.  Regal applies a modified chinlock.  Bourne manages to wrestle his way out.  Regal stretches Bourne.  Awesome wrestling here.  Bourne lands a kick to Regal’s back, then Regal hits an Exploder.  Bourne avoids the knee trembler and hits a high knee, then the Shooting Star press for the pin in 4:54.  Awesome little match.

WWE bullshit fact of the week.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are on commentary now.

Mike Knox vs. Kane.  Poor Knox gets the jobber entrance too.  They lock up.  Basic power brawl.  Kane hits the basic dropkick for 2.  Knox hits the Flying Bear for 2.  Kane hits the big boot, clothesline in the corner, and a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane goes up top, but Knox boots him down.  Kane rallies and hits the chokeslam for the pin in 2:45.  Decent hoss match while it lasted.

Straight Edge Society video.

Raw Rebound.  WrestleMania card hype.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho vs. Goldust.  Jericho looks confused and threatened.  Goldust does his breathing thing and kicks Jericho in the leg.  Jericho bails for a moment.  They lock up.  Jericho clamps on a side headlock.  Goldust fights back and hits the butt butt, then clotheslines Jericho out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Jericho avoids Goldust in the corner, then hits an enzuigiri for 2.  Jericho stays on the attack.  Goldust gets an inside cradle for 2.  Jericho tries a superplex, but Goldust fights him off and dives.  Jericho catches him with a dropkick.  Cover gets 2.  Goldust makes his comeback.  Jericho avoids a bulldog and hits one of his own.  Goldust avoids the Lionsault and hits a snap powerslam for a very close 2.  Goldust goes for the Curtain Call, but Jericho counters and locks in the Walls of Jericho for the win (6:23 shown).  Really good little match.

Another fun edition of Superstars!