Archive for Michael Tarver

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 1/28/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video of recent goings on.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Vickie Guerrero is already in the ring screaming in her nails on a chalkboard voice.  She says Teddy Long won’t be there tonight, so she’s gonna run the show into the ground.  Randy Orton comes out.  He says he’s only here to show his appreciate for being invited here tonight.  He says she’ll have to excuse him for what he does to her boyfriend tonight, just like Miz will have to excuse him for taking the WWE title on Sunday.  He creepily puts his arm around her and compliments her hair.  Everyone so badly wants to see Vickie get RKO’d.  He looks at her threateningly.  Dolph Ziggler comes out and gets all emo.  He and Orton banter.  Ziggler demands respect.  Orton says respect has to be earned, then drops Ziggler with an RKO.

Tonight, Edge & Randy Orton take on The Miz & Dolph Ziggler!

Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Kelly Kelly & Kaitlyn.  Team KKK jump LayCool in the aisle and kick their asses.  The match finally starts.  Kaitlyn eats a boot from MCCool, but rallies and beats her up some more.  Layla intervenes.  McCool boots Kaitlyn in the face for the pin in 40 seconds.  I guess it served its purpose and was thankfully short.

Kofi Kingston insists that we don’t try this at home.  There’s always random shit like that on the UK broadcasts.

Speaking of random shit from the UK broadcasts, we get part of an Undertaker/Big Show Steel Cage Match from 2008.  Jim Ross and Tazz are doing commentary.  I fast forward for a bit.  Undertaker wins with the Hell’s Gate.

Drew McIntyre vs. JTG.  Kelly Kelly is at ringside, probably because she couldn’t find her way back to the locker room.  Cole calls her on her hypocrisy, having just participated in a pre-match attack after bitching at McIntyre for kicking ass last week.  JTG beats up McIntyre and dropkicks him to the floor.  McIntyre drags JTG out of the ring and kicks his ass.  Back inside, McIntyre gives JTG a bunch of neckbreakers for 2.  McIntyre beats JTG’s ass some more.  McIntyre hits a nice dropkick for 2.  McIntyre applies a shoulder hold.  JTG gets a crucifix hold out of nowhere for 2.  McIntyre takes offense and stomps on JTG’s face.  McIntyre gets some 2 counts, then goes back to the shoulder hold.  JTG fights out and gets a backslide for 2.  JTG makes his comeback.  McIntyre rolls through another backslide attempt and hits the Future Shock for the pin in 4:36.  Fun little match.  Kelly gets in the ring.  McIntyre wisely blows her off and leaves.

Tonight, Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO!

Cincinnati!

They show Rey Mysterio breaking Cody Rhodes’ face last week.

Todd Grisham interviews Cody Rhodes, who won’t face the camera.  He says that since his face is broken, he can’t wrestle and he’ll have to have reconstructive courtesy.  He’s all emo because he’s not Dashing anymore.

Jack Korpela interviews World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  He talks about The Corre, then moves onto his tag match tonight.

Alberto Del Rio is headed our way.  He meets Michael Tarver, who is randomly hanging around backstage again.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio comes out and says he’s going to do a Royal Rumble Exhibition with 39 fighters from all over the world.  Really?  Some guy named Seth Allen comes out.  Del Rio kicks his ass and tosses him.  Mike Stevens is next.  Del Rio kicks his ass.  Kane comes out and kicks Del Rio’s ass.  Del Rio rallies and rocks Kane with an enzuigiri.  Kane recovers and goes for a chokeslam.  WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston comes out and bundles both of them over the top rope.  So I guess he wins.  Or not.  Del Rio and Kane surround him.  Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out to even the odds.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and books them in a tag match RIGHT NOW!  Insta-commercials.

Kane & Alberto Del Rio vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston & Rey Mysterio Jr.  Kane beats up Kofi.  Kofi dropkicks Kane’s knee, then kicks him in the face.  Del Rio tags in and beats up Kofi.  Kofi rallies and makes the tag.  They double team Del Rio.  Mysterio is rocking wonky half gold/half silver gear tonight.  Del Rio avoids Mysterio in the corner, causing him to tackle the turnbuckle.  Kane tags in.  Mysterio gets him into position and goes for the 619.  Kane bails.  Mysterio hits him with a baseball slide dropkick.  Kofi tags in.  Kofi and Mysterio hit stereo baseball slide dropkicks.  Kofi hits Del Rio with a tope suicida.  Mysterio hits Kane with the Bombs Away to the floor.  Back inside, Kofi goes up top.  Del Rio pushes him off.  The heels get the heat on Kofi for a while.  Mysterio gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Mysterio tries to springboard, but Kane boots him to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Heels get the heat on Mysterio.  Mysterio plants Kane with a whirling DDT.  Kofi and Del Rio tag in.  Kofi runs wild.  Del Rio catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and a diving cross body.  Kane saves.  Del Rio argues with Kane for being knocked off the apron a minute ago.  Kane boots him in the face and leaves.  Mysterio hits the 619.  Kofi follows with the Trouble In Paradise for the pin (12:23 shown).  Good match.

Highlights of Edge/Miz from Raw.

Tonight, Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO!

The Big Show comes out, all smiling and happy.  They show him being jumped by The Corre 2 weeks ago.  He turns from happy to pissed off.  He likens the attack to being in the Royal Rumble.  The Corre come out.  They have t-shirts now.  They surround the ring.  Show challenges any of them to fight one on one.  Slater jumps Show from behind.  A referee appears and rings the bell.

The Big Show vs. Heath Slater (w/ Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, & Justin Gabriel).  Show kicks Slater’s ass.  Slater takes out Show’s knee.  Show caves on Slater’s chest with a chop and makes his comeback.  Show hits the chokeslam for the pin in 1:17.  The rest of the Corre jump Show.  R-Truth, Chris Masters, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, and Daniel Bryan hit the ring and clear out The Corre.

Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO is TONIGHT!

Beth Phoenix warns us to not try this at home, school, or anywhere else.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video and hype.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Cole mizzes his pants.  Miz cuts a promo about the Truman Doctrine of all things.  He says this has nothing to do with the Royal Rumble, then talks about Randy Orton.  Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out.  The main event is NEXT!

WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) & Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Rated RKO (World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Randy Orton).  Orton wants Miz, but of course, Ziggler starts.  They lock up.  Ziggler backs Orton into the corner and cheap shots him instead of giving a clean break.  Orton explodes with a clothesline and beats up Ziggler.  Miz annoys him from the apron, so Orton goes after him.  Orton chases Miz right into Ziggler, who beats him up.  Orton hits a Lou Thesz press with punches, then tags in Edge.  Edge hits a diving clothesline on Ziggler for 2.  Ziggler hits a face buster for 2.  Miz tags in and beats up Edge.  Orton tags in and beats up Miz.  He hits the powerslam and humps the mat.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler beats up Orton.  The announcers blame the random cut away on technical difficulties.  Heels get the heat on Orton.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  Miz goes for the corner clothesline, but Orton explodes with a clothesline of his own.  Edge and Ziggler tag in.  Edge runs wild.  Edge goes for the spear.  Riley gets on the apron.  Edge decks him.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on Ziggler.  Miz saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Orton takes Miz outside.  Edge avoids the Zig Zag and spears Ziggler for the pin (7:42 shown).  Fine match.  Vickie Guerrero screams that the spear is banned.  That’s fucking stupid.  She says if Edge uses the spear at the Rumble, Ziggler automatically wins the title.  I hate stupid stipulations like that.  So does Edge.  He spears Ziggler off the apron, then spears him twice more for good measure.  Man, they buried Ziggler six feet under tonight.

Pretty fun show.

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WWE Monday Night Raw 1/24/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our announcers LIVE from Detroit!  Tonight, Edge vs. Miz in a champion vs. champion match!  Natalya vs. Melina for the Divas Championship!  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out and talks about how he hates waiting for things.  He wants his match with Miz NOW.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that the match won’t happen until later, but the computer is still pissed off at Edge, so he’s going to put Edge in some kind of thing where whoever throws Edge over the top rope gets the #40 spot in the Royal Rumble.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Jack Swagger vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Tyson Kidd.  Edge spears Swagger immediately.  Kidd drops Edge with a head kick.  Edge powerslams him and tosses him out.  McIntyre drops Edge with a boot and tries to eliminate him.  Swagger saves.  Edge tosses Swagger.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but Edge tosses him to win it in 1:08.  This was pretty dumb and pointless.

Edge teases that he’ll beat up the laptop again.  Cole tries to protect it.  The New Nexus come out to the ring.  Punk cuts a promo about how his strength will allow him to win the Royal Rumble.  He introduces his new big guy as Mason Ryan.  Ryan says “faith.”  Punk rambles on this note for a while.  He says Nexus will make sure he wins the Rumble.  The Corre (who Punk called “that poor man’s Nexus”) come out to the ring and face off with Nexus.  Barrett says the New Nexus is the poor man’s Nexus.  Jackson says The Corre will make sure to eliminate Punk at the Rumble.  Jackson and Ryan face off.  iBooker dings in again.  Cole announces Barrett vs. Punk tonight, with the loser and his team being out of the Rumble match and John Cena as the guest referee.  Commercials!

Slam of the Week: Mark Henry throwing Sheamus over the top rope last week, then Alberto Del Rio cutting his usual promo.

John Morrison & Mark Henry vs. Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio is introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.  Del Rio and Morrison lock up.  Del Rio stomps down Morrison in the corner.  Sheamus tags in and brawls with his rival, Morrison.  Morrison hits a headscissors and a dropkick for 2.  Sheamus lands a kick to the gut and tags Del Rio in.  Morrison connects with a shoulder block and a kick, then hits a side Russian leg sweep.  Moirrison goes for Starship Pain, but Sheamus pulls Del Rio to safety.  Commercials.  Del Rio has Morrison in a chin lock, since the heels used heel chicanery to get the advantage during the break.  Morrison plays face in peril.  Michael Tarver is watching on TV backstage.  Sheamus puts a vicious meeting on Morrison and goes for the brogue kick.  Morrison ducks it and lands an enzuigiri.  Del Rio and Henry tag in.  Henry runs wild.  Sheamus breaks Henry’s cover on Del Rio.  Henry breaks Sheamus’ head.  Sheamus drops Henry with the brogue kick.  Morrison drops Sheamus with the Flying Chuck, then hits a dive to the outside.  Del Rio gets Henry in the Minoru Special for the win in 10:05.  Good little match.

Tonight, Barrett vs. Punk!  Next, Natalya vs. Melina!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Natalya (c) vs. Melina.  They lock up.  There is screaming.  Melina tackles Natalya through the ropes and to the floor.  Back inside, Melina works Natalya’s hair.  Ugh.  Cover gets 2.  Melina applies a weird arm scissors hold.  Natalya stands up and rams Melina into the corner.  Melina kicks Natalya in the head.  Natalya hits a botched hip toss and a throw.  Melina lands a clothesline.  Melina goes for a leg drop through the legs.  Natalya catches her leg and turns it into a Sharpshooter.  Natalya bridges all the way back and gets the submission in 2:44.  I like the finish.  Reminded me of Bret/Perfect from SummerSlam ’91.  Michelle McCool and Layla come out.  Fucking ugh.  They’re fucking obnoxious.  They say they’re getting a title shot at the Rumble.  Ugh.

Tonight, Edge vs. Miz.  Commercials.

Detroit!

Highlights of Punk vs. Cena from last week.

CM Punk lectures The New Nexus about sacrifice, because they’re supposed to sacrifice their chances to win the Rumble for him.  They have questions, but Punk is unconcerned.

Josh Matthews interviews John Cena.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley interrupt.  Stupid comedy ensues, then Cena tries to get serious, then makes another lame joke.  Cena and Matthews leave.  Miz is mad that everyone thinks he’s going to lose at the Rumble.  They show the video of Miz and Riley beating down Randy Orton last week.

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out to do commentary.  Ugh.  Edge avoids some kicks from Miz and beats him up.  They do a little wrestling.  Edge clotheslines Miz out of the ring.  Commercials.  Miz connects with a knee lift and targets Edge’s injured ribs.  Cover gets 2.  Edge rallies and connects with a neckbreaker.  I hate matches that focus on the fucking announcers.  Edge goes for the spear, but Miz bails.  Edge follows and they brawl outside.  Edge reverses Miz’s Irish whip into the barricade.  Back inside, Edge goes up top.  Miz cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge beats up Miz.  Miz avoids Edge in the corner, then front suplexes him into the ropes.  Commercials.  Miz beats up Edge and continues working on his ribs.  Edge hits a flapjack and makes his comeback.  Edge hits his wonky face plant move for 2.  Edge avoids the running clothesline the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Riley bothers Edge, so Edge goes after him.  Miz gets a distracted Edge with an inside cradle for 2.  Edge ducks a clothesline and hits a baseball slide dropkick on Riley.  Edge gives Miz the Edgecution and goes for the spear.  Ziggler trips Edge to cause the DQ in 16:39, then hits the Zig Zag.  Randy Orton runs in to make the save.  He drops Riley and Ziggler, then kicks Miz’s ass.  Orton drops Riley and Ziggler with RKOs.  Miz takes out Orton’s knee with Riley’s briefcase, then runs away.  The match was okay.

Tonight, Barrett vs. Punk!  Commercials.

Josh Matthews interviews Wade Barrett.  The rest of the Corre comes in.  Barrett says they’re all equals.  He again professes their innocence regarding what happened to Teddy Long.  He says he respects John Cena.

WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan & The Bella Twins vs. Ted Dibiase Jr., Maryse, & Alicia Fox.  Bryan and Dibiase lock up.  Dibiase lands a shoulder block.  Bryan leap frogs Dibiase and hits a hip toss.  Maryse tags herself in and orders Dibiase out.  One of the Bellas schools Maryse while the other flirts with Bryan.  Maryse schoolgirls the Bella for the pin in 1:01.  That was pointless.  The Bellas argue.

Barrett vs. Punk TONIGHT!  Commercials.

Detroit!

Royal Rumble hype.

The Bellas argue backstage.  There’s another Michael Tarver sighting.  They go into Daniel Bryan’s locker room and find him making out with Gail Kim.  Bryan’s a pimp!  He says they’ve been dating for 6 months, but keeping it quit.  They thought he was a virgin, but he’s a vegan.  They’re dumb and pointless, and he felt sorry for them.  A catfight breaks out.  One of the Bellas decks Bryan in the process.

New Nexus come out.  The tag titles are on the line NEXT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

This week on Smackdown, Miz & Ziggler vs. Rated RKO!

It’s announced that Cole was an idiot before and this isn’t a tag title match.

Non-Title: Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris of The New Nexus (w/ David Otunga & Mason Ryan) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina).  McGillicutty beats up Kozlov.  Kozlov takes him down and tags in Santino.  Santino gets a side headlock takeover.  The next thing of note that he gets is his head taken off with an enzui lariat.  Nexus get the heat on Marella.  Santino tries to make the tag, but Harris knocks Kozlov off the apron.  Santino rallies and makes his comeback on Harris.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  McGillicutty distracts him.  Harris mauls Santino with a lariat, then hits a Complete Shot for the pin in 3:49.  Well, there ya go.  Otunga gets on the mic, puts over his boys, and introduces CM Punk.

John Cena gets a referee shirt on his way to the ring.  The main event is NEXT!  Commercials.

CM Punk (w/ David Otunga, Michael McGillicutty, Husky Harris, & Mason Ryan) vs. Wade Barrett (w/ Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, & Heath Slater).  John Cena is the referee.  Cena ejects the New Nexus and Corre before the match.  The match finally starts, then Cena shoves Punk and begs him to punch him, then slaps Barrett for good measure.  Punk beats down Barrett and throws him over the top rope to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble.  Punk yells that that’s he’ll do to Cena on Sunday.  Cena eliminates Punk from the Rumble.  Punk threatens to punch Cena.  Barrett beats up Punk.  Cena goes outside to sign autographs.  Barrett yells at him for missing a cover.  Punk attacks Barrett again.  Double clothesline spot.  Cena stops the match in 1:58.  He DQs both of them from “excessive profanity on a PG show,” so both teams are out of the Rumble.  That’s kind of funny.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that Cena abused his power, so everybody’s in the Rumble.  Well that’s a jip.  iBooker says Cena has to apologize, or he’s out of the Rumble.  Cena goes back to the ring, “apologizes,” and decks both of them.  The Corre and The New Nexus hit the ring, so Cena bails.  A couple of guys go after Cena and a brawl breaks out.  The locker room empties as Big Show, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Daniel Bryan, Yoshi Tatsu, R-Truth, John Morrison, and Mark Henry come out.  Everybody brawls as the show closes.

Fun show.  Not great, but fun.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 1/21/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011 by Grappleholic

Highlights of Big Show/Wade Barrett from last week, with the formation of the new Barrett/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Ezekiel Jackson group.

Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, and Heath Slater come to the ring.  Their group is called The Corre.  They all introduce themselves.  Teddy Long comes out to bitch at them for being assholes.  Barrett tries to explain why the Corre is good for Smackdown.  They banter for a bit.  Teddy insists that they play by the rules, then leaves.  Alberto Del Rio comes out to tell The Corre that they’re welcome here, but Smackdown is his show.  He cuts his usual promo about it being his destiny to win the Royal Rumble.  Insta-commercials.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth.  Del Rio beats up Truth.  Truth hits a clothesline and Del Rio bails.  Truth beats him up on the outside.  Back inside, Truth avoids an elbow drop and covers for 2.  Truth works Del Rio’s arm.  Cut to backstage, where Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero have found Teddy Long unconscious.  Truth keeps beating up Del Rio.  Truth hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner, then clotheslines Del Rio out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Truth boots Del Rio in the face and goes to the middle rope.  Del Rio pulls him down.  Cover gets 2.  Del Rio works Truth’s shoulder, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Del Rio beats on Truth.  Cut to the back, where the paramedics are taking Teddy away.  I spot Tony Garea.  Truth makes his comeback and hits a front suplex for 2.  Del Rio rallies and hits an enzuigiri for 2.  Cole says Teddy Long has suffered trauma to the back of the head.  Truth hits a hip toss.  Rodriguez trips Truth.  Del Rio pulls Truth’s arm over the top rope, then gets the Minoru Special for the submission (6:42 shown).  This was pretty much just a backdrop for the angle with Teddy.

Teddy Long is loaded into an ambulance.  Vickie Guerrero, Dolph Ziggler, JTG, Rosa Mendez, Hornswoggle, Curt Hawkins, Michael Tarver, Trent Barreta, and Kaitlyn are seen looking on.

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come back into the office to find The Corre.  They say they had nothing to do with what happened to Teddy and offer their assistance.  She wants one of them to face Edge tonight and soften him up for Ziggler.

Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video.

Tonight, Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Beth Phoenix.  They lock up.  Phoenix overpowers Layla.  Layla lands some kicks.  Phoenix does big swing and hits a clothesline for 2.  Layla hits a nifty rope walk armbreaker.  Cover gets 2.  Layla works Phoenix’s arm and applies a nifty hold.  Phoenix stands up with Layla and drops her to break it.  Phoenix makes her comeback.  Phoenix hits the slingshot suplex for 2.  Layla attacks Beth’s injured arm again.  Beth hits a backbreaker and the Glam Slam for the pin in 3:32.  It wasn’t awful.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way!

Tulsa!

Stand Up For WWE BS.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes grabs a side headlock, then hits a clothesline.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors.  Rhodes gets the advantage and works Mysterio’s knee.  Rhodes sends Mysteri outside.  Mysterio avoids a baseball slide dropkick, then hits a drop toehold into the steps.  Back inside, Mysterio hits the diving seated senton for 2.  Mysterio hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Rhodes hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Mysterio rallies and hits the 619 and a diving splash for the pin in 4:02.  Fine little match.  Rhodes looks to have a broken nose or something.

Todd Grisham tries to give an update on Teddy Long.  Alex Riley interrupts.  He and WWE Champion The Miz are on Smackdown tonight.  Cole mizzes his pants.

Tonight, Edge vs. a member of The Corre!

The trainer tells Cody Rhodes that his nose is broken.  Rhodes looks in the mirror and freaks out.

Non-Title Amateur Wrestling Challenge: Jack Swagger vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston.  3 minute time limit.  Swagger gets a takedown.  Kofi escapes.  They keep doing boring amateur wrestling for a while.  Swagger dominates.  Kofi makes a comeback at the end, but Swagger wins 10-9.  Swagger jumps Kofi after the match.  Kofi kicks his ass, gives him the Trouble In Paradise, and hits a diving cross body, just because the crowd usually pops so big for it.

They show the brawl between Edge and Dolph Ziggler on The Cutting Edge last week.

Tonight, Edge vs. ?!

The announcer hype how the Smackdown ratings have gone up or something.

Trent Barreta vs. Drew McIntyre.  They show Barreta’s upset victory over McIntyre last week and the subsequent backstage attack and whatever is going on with Drew and Kelly Kelly.  McIntyre hits a belly to belly suplex, then pounds on Barreta.  McIntyre hits a snap suplex for 2.  Barreta rallies and hits a dropkick.  Barreta goes for a springboard rana, but McIntyre turns it into a powerbomb.  Cover gets 2.  McIntyre hits a hip toss off the top rope for the pin in 2:07.  McIntyre offers a handshake after the match, but Barreta decks him like a dick.  McIntyre righteously kicks his ass.  Kelly Kelly comes out and orders him to stop.  Hey, Barreta had it coming this time!  McIntyre tries to explain himself, but the dumb bimbo goes to check on Barreta instead.  Sorry, but this is a case of the heel being right.

Tonight, Edge vs. ?!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Cole mizzes all over himself.  Miz cuts a promo.  They show him and Riley beating down Randy Orton on Raw.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out.  They banter.  Riley talks shit to Edge and gets speared.  Miz acts like he wants to fight, then bitches down.  The main event is NEXT!

Edge is in the ring.  The Corre come out.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and screeches in her horrible voice.  Dolph Ziggler comes out to do commentary.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Justin Gabriel (w/ Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, & Heath Slater).  Edge does some arm locks.  Gabriel throws a forearm.  This apparently pisses Edge off, because he starts kicking Gabriel’s ass.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Gabriel gets the advantage and beats up Edge.  Edge rallies and sends Gabriel to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Gabriel gets a 2 count on Edge.  Gabriel hits a side Russian leg sweep and transitions into a weird hold.  Gabriel hits an STO and goes up top.  Edge wakes up and catches him with a dropkick.  Edge gives Gabriel an Edge-O-Matic against the ropes.  Edge goes up top.  Gabriel cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge goes for the spear.  Guys start getting on the apron.  Edge decks Barrett and Slater, but Jackson gives Edge a lariat.  Gabriel gets the pin (7:21 shown).  That’s a hell of a lariat.  Okayish match.  The Corre surrounds Edge and commence to beating him down.  They all give Edge their finishes and leave.  Ziggler places a foot on Edge and stands tall as the show ends.

Okay show.  It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t anything great either.

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/13/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Slammy Awards open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and CM Punk are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette comes out and acts like a croaky voiced spaz.  He’s presenting the Shocker of the Year award.  The candidates are The Miz cashing in Money In The Bank to win the WWE Championship, the original Nexus attack on John Cena, Paul Bearer turning on The Undertaker, and Randy Orton kicking Chris Jericho in the head.  Nexus win.  Wade Barrett coming out to accept the award gets a way more positive reaction than David Arquette’s presence.  Barrett talks about the ultimatum Nexus gave him: to either rehire John Cena, or face mutiny from the group he created.  He said he’ll decide later tonight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000, booking Barrett in a match right now against The Big Show.  Show takes Barrett’s Slammy!

Wade Barrett vs. The Big Show.  Barrett hides in the ropes, then bails.  Show finally gets hold of him after a minute and a half of fucking around.  He caves Barrett’s chest in with a the big chop.  Barrett pokes Show in the eye and beats on him.  Show finally collects himself and starts kicking Barrett’s ass on the outside.  Back inside, Barrett immediately bails, grabs his Slammy, and leaves.  Show wins by count-out in 3:41.  Well, there ya go.

Vote now for Superstar of the Year on WWE.com!  Commercials.

New Orleans!

Tonight, a Diva of the Year Battle Royal!

Kelly Kelly and Tyson Kidd (w/ Jackson Andrews) come out to present the Despicable Me Award.  Yes, they’re naming awards after kids’ movies now.  Kidd introduces is big dude and insults Kelly a bunch.  Kelly makes lame comebacks.  The nominees are Drew McIntyre being a dick to Teddy Long, Kane burying The Undertaker, Vince McMahon kicking Bret Hart in the balls, and CM Punk singing “Happy Birthday” to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.  CM Punk wins, and rightfully so.  Punk happily accepts his award.  He says he gets even with people that have wronged him and there’s someone backstage that he still has to get even with.

WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins) & Kofi Kingston vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) & Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  Entrances, then commercials, so the match is JIP.  I hate that shit.  Ziggler has Bryan grounded with a rear chin lock.  Bryan fights out.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Dibiase tags in briefly to beat up Bryan.  Ziggler come back in and hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  The heels make quick tags and keep the heat on Bryan.  Bryan and Dibiase do a double cross body spot.  Dibiase rolls out of the ring.  Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild on Ziggler.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and the Trouble In Paradise for the pin (3:07 shown).  Why couldn’t they have given these guys some time?

Tonight, Sheamus vs. John Morrison!  Right now, Superstar of the Year voting on WWE.com!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov come out to present the Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year Award.  They bicker, then make up.  The nominees are Mike Tyson punching out Chris Jericho, Pee Wee Herman annoying The Miz, me, and everyone else who watched, Wayne Brady getting RKO’d by Randy Orton, and William Shatner singing entrance themes.  “And the salami goes to…” Pee Wee Herman.  We get a pre-taped acceptance speech from Herman.  Ugh.

The Nexus meet backstage and bicker.  Commercials.

Mark Henry vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Henry goes for Rhodes while he’s in the ropes putting his mirror jacket away.  What’s the point of that?  Henry messes up Rhodes’ hair and face.  Rhodes sends Henry into the turnbuckles, then beats him up.  Henry makes his comeback.  Rhodes avoids him in the corner and hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Rhodes his a diving knee drop for the pin in 2:49.  Neat finish.

Up next, the Holy %&@*#! Move of the Year.  Yes, that’s exactly what it says.  Commercials.  The theme song for this show is awful.

Jerry Lawler and Vickie Guerrero present of the Holy Symbols Move of the Year Award.  Vickie is obnoxious.  The nominees are John Morrison’s dive off the stage onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz, Kofi Kingston’s Ladder Boom Drop on Drew McIntyre, John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment to Batista off of a car through the stage, and Randy Orton’s Shooting Star RKO to Evan Bourne.  John Cena wins.  I demand a recount!  Wade Barrett comes out to take the award.  He’s come to make his decision.  He demands that Cena comes to the ring.  Cena comes in through the crowd.  The rest of the Nexus come out and surround the ring.  Barrett rehires Cena, with 2 conditions: Cena faces Barrett in a Chair Match at the PPV and he faces David Otunga tonight.  Cena happily agrees to both.  Nexus attack Cena.  Barrett hits Cena with a chair.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

The announcers go over the Slammy Awards that have been awarded so far tonight.

David Arquette is back in a sequined suit, being a croaking spaz again.  He plugs some theater he’s starting.  The nominees for WWE Universe Fan Reaction of the Year are: Weird kid reacting to John Cena joining the Nexus, loser crying when Shawn Michaels’ career ended, dumbstruck moron with his hand on his head, and the Angry Miz Girl.  Angry Miz Girl wins.  Angry Miz Girl herself comes out to accept the award.  She tries to talk, but she’s a little girl, dude!  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Miz creeps it up, then steals her Slammy.  He goes to the ring with Riley and Arquette and cuts a promo.  iBooker dings in.  Cole announces that both Miz and Orton will face former World Champions tonight.  Miz’s opponent is Rey Mysterio!

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley & David Arquette) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Miz beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio ranas Miz to the floor and hits the seated senton off the apron.  Commercials.  Miz fights out of a double arm grab and hits a flying head scissors.  Miz fights the flippy bulldog and they end up botching up.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  Alberto Del Rio comes out to his music to distract Mysterio.  Miz sends Mysterio face first into the ring apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Miz beats up Mysterio some more.  Miz goes for a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits the seated senton.  Mysterio hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Mysterio rolls through a schoolboy and lands a head kick for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619 again.  Del Rio gets on the apron.  Miz accidentally knocks him off.  Mysterio gets a schoolboy for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619 again.  Riley distracts the referee.  Del Rio sneaks in and trips Mysterio.  Miz gets a half assed inside cradle for the pin in 7:02.  Overbooked mess.  Mysterio chases Del Rio out of the arena.  Miz and his posse celebrate the victory.  The iBooker dings in again.  Cole announces that tonight, Randy Orton will face Alex Riley & former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette.  Arquette is the only one that is excited by this prospect.

Tonight, Diva of the Year Battle Royal.  Next, John Morrison vs. Sheamus.  Commercials.

New Orleans!

Edge comes out to present the Oh Snap!  Meltdown of the Year Award.  Who the fuck names these awards?  What happened to stuff like, I don’t know, MATCH OF THE YEAR?  Edge says he needs  a co-presenter.  CHRISTIAN comes out!  So they’re friends again?  Christian still wants to kick Alberto Del Rio’s ass, so at least they remembered his storyline.  Nominees are: Big Show tearing up Jack Swagger’s stuff (shouldn’t Swagger be the nominee?), Alberto Del Rio injuring Rey Mysterio, Edge destroying the iBooker V1, and Batista quitting.  Some of those lead me to believe that these people don’t know what a meltdown is.  Edge wins.  Edge freaks out and bitches about the iBooker.  Christian plays the iBooker email tone on his iPhone as a joke.  Edge calls Michael Cole and tool.  I’m glad to see Christian, but this was stupid.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Sheamus beats the shit out of Morrison in the corner.  The referee breaks them up.  Morrison gets a takedown and beats on Sheamus.  THE FUCKING REFEREE GETS IN THE WAY AGAIN.  THE FUCKING RETARDED REFEREE DQ’S BOTH OF THEM AT THE 33 SECOND MARK!  THE REFEREE FUCKING DISQUALIFIED THEM FOR HAVING A FUCKING MATCH.  iBooker dings in.  Cole announces Sheamus vs. John Morrison in a #1 Contender Ladder Match at the PPV.  They fight some more.  Sheamus KO’s Morrison and throws a temper tantrum.  Sheamus hits Morrison with a ladder, then throws him out of the ring onto the ladder.  Let’s remember what’s important here: THEY WERE DISQUALIFIED FOR FIGHTING!  THEY WERE IN A WRESTLING MATCH AGAINST EACH OTHER AND THEY WERE DISQUALIFIED FOR FIGHTING.

Later, Orton vs. two tards and Cena vs. another tard.  Commercials.

JTG and William Regal present the Knucklehead Moment of the Year Award.  Nominees are Big Show taking CM Punk’s mask off, Michelle McCool & Layla losing to Mae Young, Beth Phoenix eliminating Great Khali from the Royal Rumble, and Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov dancing.  LayCool win.  UGH, that means I have to hear them talk.  They’re happy about this.  Clusterfuck mess is next.  Commercials.

Divas of the Year Battle Royal featuring Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Maryse, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Rosa Mendez, Alicia Fox, Kaitlyn, Tamina, Gail Kim, Melina, Beth Phoenix, and WWE Divas Champion Natalya.  Everyone surrounds LayCool and beats the crap out of them.  Tamina eliminates Kaitlyn and Rosa Mendez in quick succession.  The Bella eliminate Tamina.  Eve eliminates one of the Bellas.  LayCool eliminate the other Bella.  Natalya eliminates Maryse.  Kelly tries to rana McCool out of the ring, but ends up getting eliminated herself.  Phoenix Glam Slams Melina into the top rope and eliminates her.  Phoenix eliminates Layla.  Layla throws a fit and tries to eliminate Phoenix.  McCool eliminates Phoenix thanks to the distraction.  Natalya eliminates Gail and Fox.  McCool eliminates Natalya to win it in 3:26.  Fucking ugh.  iBooker dings in YET AGAIN.  Cole announces LayCool vs. Natalya & Beth Phoenix in a Tables Match for the PPV.  I have no idea when or where Eve was eliminated.

Edge is headed our way.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind features the WORST STORYLINE EVER, the Edge/Kane/Paul Bearer love triangle.

Edge vs. Jack Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger hits a belly to belly, then rolls Edge tot he ropes and stomps on him, just to make sure the referee will get in the way.  Swagger then chokes Edge against the ropes, to make sure it will get broken.  Swagger whips Edge into the corner, then pushes him towards the ropes some more.  Edge fights back.  Swagger hits a gut buster.  Eventual cover gets 2.  Swagger applies an arm hold.  Edge fights out.  Swagger boots him in the face for 2.  Edge makes his comeback.  Weird face drop thing gets 2.  Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger goes for the Vader Bomb.  Edge gets his knees up.  Swagger gets the ankle lock.  Edge gets a cradle for 2.  Edge counters the Doctor Bomb and hits the Edgecution.  Edge hits the spear for the pin in 4:45.  This wasn’t any good.  Following the awesome Edgecution with Edge’s shitty spear is most backwards finishing sequence since the Rock Bottom —> People’s Elbow.

Alex Riley whines to The Miz backstage.  David Arquette comes in being a spaz.  Riley is worried.  Miz wants to put Randy Orton through a table.  Commercials.

Amin Okar won some video game contest.

The Big Show comes out to present the Moment of the Year Award.  The nominees are John Cena being fired because of his own idiocy, Sheamus hitting Triple H from behind with a lead pipe before Triple H could profess his love for Shawn Michaels, Edge spearing Chris Jericho off the announce tables at WrestleMania, and Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania.  Undertaker vs. Michaels wins.  We get a pre-taped acceptance speech from Michaels.

Tonight, Cena vs. Otunga.  Next, Orton vs. the Miz tard and the former WCW World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.  The music for this show really is awful.  Commercials.

Handicap Match: Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley & David Arquette (w/ WWE Champion The Miz).  Orton beats up Riley.  Riley knocks down Orton and tags in Arquette.  Orton recovers, kicks him, and Arquette falls over.  Orton humps the mat.  Arquette tags out and bails.  Orton hits the 3.0 on Riley.  Riley avoids a knee drop and hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Riley hits a knee lift, then beats up Orton in the corner.  Arquette chokes Orton behind the referee’s back.  Orton breaks free and beats up Riley.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for the 2nd week in a row, then humps the mat and hits the RKO on Riley for the pin in 3:20.  Miz immediately comes in and hits Orton with the briefcase that he’s still carrying around to hit people with.  Miz and Arquette set up a table.  They go for a double suplex, but Orton blocks it and fights back.  Miz bails.  Orton powerbombs Arquette through the table.  YAY!

Tonight, Cena vs. Otunga.  Commercials.

New Orleans.

TLC hype.

Michael Cole presents the “And I Quote…” Line of the Year Award.  The nominees are Santino Marella’s tea party, Miz talking to Bret Hart, Triple H saying CM Punk looks like a crack head, John Cena calling Heath Slater “Wendy,” Edge arguing with the iBooker, The mom from Legendary wanting her son back, Kane wanting his father back, Batista bitching about duct tape, Dusty Rhodes raising weird kids, Vince McMahon deserving to screw Bret Hart, Stephanie McMahon dreaming, Chris Jericho calling Michael Cole an idiot, Titus O’Neil talking about fighting and winning, Eli Cottonwood on mustaches, Eve insulting Miz, Mike Tyson threatening Hornswoggle, Randy Orton talking about RKOing his grandmother, Edge saying “spear” a bunch, Jack Swagger’s eagle’s medical insurance, CM Punk bitching, Mae Young swearing, Michael Cole fucking up his lines, Triple H saying something, and Ron Simmons saying “DAMN!”  Man, that was a lot.  Cole announces himself as the winner.  Ugh.

Superstar of the Year is next.  Commercials.

Teddy Long comes out to present the Superstar of the Year Award.  Nominees are Edge, The Miz, Kane, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and Randy Orton.  John Cena wins.  Cena makes his acceptance speech.  He promises to hurt Otunga tonight and “destroy” Barrett at the PPV.  Cena goes to the ring for the match.  Nexus come out.  They show the beat down from earlier tonight.  Otunga heads to the ring.  The rest of Nexus leave.

John Cena vs. David Otunga.  Cena brings Otunga into the ring and kicks his ass.  Otunga finally avoids a shot in the corner and beats on Cena a bit.  Shouldn’t he be DQ’d for that?  Otunga hits a Pounce-style elbow smash for 2.  Cena hits a drop toe hold into the STF for the win in 1:44.  Barrett comes back out the stage.  Cena brings in a chair and beats Otunga with it.

This show was a huge, horrible, miserable, steaming, stinking pile of shit.

WWE Monday Night Raw 10/4/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

The Nexus come out.  Barrett says he won last night, so John Cena has to join the Nexus.  He says that Michael McGillicutty and Husky Harris interfered last night without his asking and they are not part of The Nexus.  He says he didn’t need any help to beat Cena.  That being the case, he’s pissed off at Nexus for coming out last night.  Barrett calls out the newest member of The Nexus, John Cena.  Cena comes out with no music or fanfare.  Tarver bitches at Cena for kicking his ass a while back, then presents Cena with a Nexus armband.  Cena puts on the armband.  Slater gives him a prepared statement to read to the people.  Cena reads that he’s a member of the Nexus, their enemies are his, etc.  Barrett says tonight, Cena will team with a Nexus member of his choice against Mark Henry & Evan Bourne.  Cena picks Tarver.  Barrett says the match will be RIGHT NOW!

John Cena & Michael Tarver (w/ Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, & David Otunga) vs. Mark Henry & Evan Bourne.  They show the beating that Nexus gave Henry & Bourne last week.  Cena and Bourne shake hands.  Tarver bitches at Cena.  Cena tags in Tarver.  Tarver talks shit to Bourne, then cheap shots him and goes on the attack.  Commercials.  Henry beats up Tarver and works his arm.  Bourne tags in and continues to work.  Cena sarcastically reaches out for a tag.  Henry tags back in.  Tarver goes for the tag, but Cena makes no great effort to reach him.  Henry works over Tarver some more.  Bourne tags in.  Henry slams Tarver.  Bourne hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Tarver hits Bourne with a belly to belly suplex.  Cena refuses to tag in again and drops off the apron to sign autographs.  Tarver turns around to fight Mark Henry, who hits him with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin in 8:56.  Crappy match, but fun in terms of the storyline.  The rest of Nexus disappeared at some point.  Cena says he’s going to make his own statement: That he’s going to destroy Nexus from within.  “You can be Nexus AND against us.”  He decks Tarver with the microphone, then kills him with a clothesline on the floor.  Cena sets up the steps and slams Tarver onto them twice.  Cena throws Tarver back into the ring, takes his knee out, and locks him in the STF.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker saying that Cena has to let Barrett boss him around or be fired.  Cena is upset by this.  Commercials.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox.  No entrances.  Fox attacks Natalya and goes for a diving cross body.  Natalya catches her and goes for a powerslam, but gets sent into the corner.  Natalya lands a clothesline and locks Fox in the Sharpshooter for the win in 42 seconds.  Better than most women’s matches because it wasn’t long enough to start sucking.

They show Edge beating up the laptop last week.  Tonight, the iBooker wants an apology.

That douchebag Johnny Knoxville will be on next.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Johnny Knoxville is an idiot.  Also, he talks to Gail Kim and Melina.  Zack Ryder comes up and gets slapped by a giant hand.  I hate wrestling.

John Cena wanders around sadly.  Josh Matthews interviews him.  He doesn’t know what to do.  He sees Michael McGillicutty and Husky Harris and chases them into the Nexus locker room.  Barrett says he his big plans for Cena’s future.  Commercials.

The dudes who did the crappy Hell In A Cell song are here.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus.  Bryan gets the jobber entrance.  Sheamus sees this and destroys him like a jobber.  Sheamus murders Bryan with knee drops until the ref DQ’s him in 30 seconds.  Sheamus hits the Razor’s Edge.  Way to make your U.S. Champion look like a total geek, retards.

Edge is headed our way.  Commercials.

Moments ago, the Cena chased McGillicutty and Harris into the Nexus locker room.

Michael Cole has the iBooker podium set up in the ring.  Cole brags about being the GM’s voice.  They show the angle where Edge beat up the laptop last week.  Again.  Cole calls out Edge.  Edge says he’s not going to apologize.  He’s on a crusade against stupidity.  He rips Michael Cole’s shitty announcing and says he’ll show some serious attitude after he becomes WWE Champion again.  iBooker says there will be a 20-man battle royal tonight for the title shot at Bragging Rights, but Edge won’t be in it because he’s traded to Smackdown.  Edge is happy with this.  He rips Cole’s stupid catchphrase, “And I quote.”  Cole gets all indignant and demands respect.  Edge threatens to spear him.  The Miz and Alex Riley come out to defend Cole for some reason.  Edge calls Miz an Edge wannabe, giving some valid points.  Miz says there’s nothing alike.  Edge says Miz is a loser and implies that he and Riley are gay.  Riley comes to his boyfriend’s defense.  Edge makes fun of Miz for tapping out to Daniel Bryan.  Haha, Miz got tapped twice by a jobber!  That’s the message WWE is sending here.  Miz says he’ll either wrestle for the WWE Title or lead Team Raw.  Edge calls him a jackass and kicks his and Riley’s ass.  He throws Miz into the iBooker podium, then spears Riley.  Miz comes from behind and gives Edge the Skull Crushing Finale.  Fun segment.  Edge is now the biggest babyface in the world to me.

The Nexus and Cena are backstage.  Barrett is happy Cena took out Tarver, because he was going to kick him out anyway.  Good!  I’m glad that worthless fuck is gone.  Barrett orders Cena to help him win the battle royal tonight, and he has to do it or he’s fired!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

The Bella Twins vs. Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla.  UGH.  FUCKING LAYCOOL HAVE LIVE MICS FOR THEIR MATCH.  FUCK FUCK FUCK.  I HATE THIS SHOW.  FUCK.  THEY’RE DOING COMMENTARY ON THEIR OWN FUCKING MATCH.  They have the worst, most obnoxious segment I’ve ever seen on a wrestling show.  One of the Bellas pins McCool with a crucifix hold in 1:04.  I hate wrestling.

Maryse accuses Johnny Knoxville of sending those stupid messages.  Ted Dibiase Jr. comes at him and gets slapped by the giant hand.  Maryse throws her shoes at Knoxville.  She gets slapped by the hand too.  This is the worst fucking show I’ve ever seen.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: R-Truth & Eve Torres beating Dibiase & Maryse 2 weeks ago and the message on the Tron.

Jackass 3 trailer.  Fast forward.

Johnny Knoxville comes out to be obnoxious.  He plugs his movie.  Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. & Maryse come out to Dibiase’s fucking awful new music.  Knoxville implies that Dibiase has a small wang.  Dibiase puts him down with the Million Dollar Dream.  Yay!  The words “You are mine” come up on the tron.  Goldust appears in the ring and gives Dibiase the spinning brainbuster.  He says he doesn’t want either of them.  He wants the Million Dollar belt!  He… hugs the belt, then puts it over his shoulder.  Okay, this turned out to be fucking awesome.

Tonight, 20 man Battle Royal!  Commercials!

Wichita!  Sponsors!

Make A Wish!

They show Cena beating the shit out of Tarver again.

Cena looks at his Nexus armband.  David Otunga offers to be his shoulder to cry on.  They seem to be planting a seed of discontent between Barrett and Otunga.

They show Randy Orton punting Chris Jericho last week.

Entrances for the Battle Royal.  They make a big deal out of Cena being forced to come out with Nexus instead of to his own music.  The Battle Royal is NEXT!  Commercials.

20-Man Battle Royal to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship featuring John Morrison, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Sheamus, John Cena, Wade Barrett, David Otunga, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, William Regal, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Ted Dibiase Jr., Zack Ryder, Evan Bourne, The Miz, Darren Young, and Primo.  Everyone else gangs up on Nexus. for like a second  Sheamus boots Bourne off of the apron to eliminate him, then dumps David Hart Smith.  Cena eliminates Regal.  Everybody brawls.  Santino gets eliminated.  Henry press slams Zack Ryder out of the ring.  Primo gets the same treatment.  Henry tries to eliminate Barrett, but Cena saves.  Nexus (minus Cena) dump Henry, then bitch at Cena for not helping.  Otunga talks shit, so Cena eliminates him.  Barrett bitches at Cena.  Commercials.  During the break, Barrett eliminated Kozlov and Gabriel & Slater eliminated Young.  Everybody brawls.  Cena throws people off of Barrett.  Morrison eliminates Slater.  Cena saves Barrett from being eliminated by Morrison and Truth.  Morrison eliminates Tyson Kidd with the Flying Chuck.  Miz hits the running clothesline to the corner on Morrison.  Miz tries to eliminate Morrison, but Morrison turns the tables and eliminates Miz.  Dibiase and Sheamus attack Barrett and Cena.  Truth eliminates Gabriel with a big kick.  Dibiase backdrops Truth out of the ring.  Barrett beats up Dibiase as Cena stays close to protect his master.  Barrett tosses Dibiase.  It’s down to Cena, Barrett, Sheamus, and Morrison.  Morrison and Barrett attack Cena.  Barrett comes to his aid.  Morrison brawls with Barrett as Sheamus works over Cena.  Morrison lands a big kick on Barrett from the apron, but falls to the floor to eliminate himself.  Cena makes his comeback on Sheamus.  Sheamus counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits the Irish Curse backbreaker.  Sheamus goes for the pump kick, but Cena avoids it and eliminates him.  Barrett orders Cena to eliminate himself.  Cena teases manning up and fighting Barrett, but does as he’s told like a good boy.  Barrett wins in 19:35.  WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out to pose with the belt in front of Barrett.

Horrible fucking show.  I liked maybe 3 minutes out of a freaking 2 hour show.  What a piece of shit.

WWE Hell In A Cell 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open.  Paper Jamz presents Hell In A Cell!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Justin Roberts and Tony Chimel are the ring announcers.

Triple Threat Submissions Count Anywhere Match for the WWE United States Championship: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz.  Miz cuts a promo on the way to the ring bitching about having sand in his vagina or whatever he’s mad about.  He says neither of the opponents would be anything without him.  They try to put each other in holds.  Miz bails.  Morrison and Bryan chase Miz around.  Morrison grabs Miz’s leg and Bryan kicks Miz in the head.  Miz is sent outside again and Morrison and Bryan wrestle.  Bryan locks Morrison in a leg lock and they roll to the floor.  Miz breaks it and rams Morrison into the side of the ring.  Miz throws Bryan into the barricade, then throws Morrison back in the ring and beats him up.  Morrison avoids Miz in the corner and locks him in the Tarantula!  Bryan breaks it with a dropkick and sends Morrison to the floor.  Bryan locks Miz in the Cattle Mutilation~!  That, unfortunately, doesn’t last long.  Bryan proceeds to kick the crap out of Miz and lock him in a leg lock.  Miz tries to reverse it and they kick each other in the head.  Morrison comes back in and hits the Starship Pain on both of them.  Miz is sent outside.  Morrison locks Bryan in a modified Haas of Pain.  Miz saves.  Morrison sends him out of the ring and takes him out with a dive!  Miz backdrops Morrison into the crowd.  Miz and Morrison fight in the crowd.  Miz locks Morrison in a Dragon sleeper against the hand rail.  Bryan shows up and breaks the hold.  Miz beats up Bryan and rams him in to stuff in the crowd.  Bryan goes for a Fujiwara armbar, but Miz avoids it.  Morrison shows up and gets sent into the barricade by Miz.  They end up brawling near the stage.  Miz rams a cart into Morrison.  Miz drops Bryan across the top of the cart and runs it into the ramp.  Morrison jumps over the cart and dropkicks Miz.  Morrison goes for a triangle choke, but Bryan breaks it.  Miz rams Bryan into the barricade, then hits Morrison with the Skull Crushing Finale on the floor.  On the stage, Miz and Bryan counter each others’ finish, then do a double clothesline spot.  Morrison climbs up the set and hits Miz and Bryan with a dive.  Morrison locks Miz in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Cole mentions Dean Malenko, which makes me happy.  Alex Riley saves and takes out Morrison.  Bryan pushes Riley off the stage into a camera man.  Bryan locks Miz in the LeBell Lock on the ramp for the win in 13:35.  Fun match.

Legendary DVD plug.  Ugh.

Orton/Sheamus hype video.

Hell In A Cell Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Sheamus.  They show Orton taking out Chris Jericho on Raw.  Yeah, just keep rubbing it in!  They lock up and push each other around, then brawl back and forth for a while.  Orton clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.  Orton tries to ram Sheamus’ head into the cell, but Sheamus blocks it and gets back in the ring.  Orton stomps Sheamus and lands a knee drop for 2.  Sheamus hits a slingshot shoulder block for 2.  Sheamus tries to ram Orton’s head into the cell, but Orton blocks it.  They brawl  at ringside.  Sheamus reverses Orton’s whip into the cell, then drops him with a clothesline.  Sheamus throws the steps at Orton, but Orton ducks and sends Sheamus into the post.  Orton rams Sheamus into the cell a couple of times, then hits him in the head with the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus blocks a suplex attempt and front suplexes Orton into the ropes, then shoulder blocks Orton off the ring into the cell.  Inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus stomps Orton in the corner.  Sheamus beats up Orton.  Sheamus lands a knee for 2.  Sheamus exposes the turnbuckle and tries to ram Orton into it, but Orton fights back.  Sheamus lands a Polish hammer to drop Orton.  Outside, Sheamus grinds Orton’s head into the cell.  Why do that shit with no blood?  Why even have a fucking Hell In A Cell match with no blood?  Sheamus front suplexes Orton into the steps.  Sheamus works Orton’s ribs.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus applies a scissored rear chin lock.  Orton fights out and hits a backdrop suplex.  Orton drops Sheamus with a dropkick, then sells his ribs.  They brawl some more.  Orton makes his comeback.  Orton hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Orton hits the 3.0 and humps the mat.  Sheamus counters the RKO and lands a knee to the ribs.  Sheamus brings the steps into the ring.  Orton counters Sheamus and powerslams him on the steps.  Ouch.  Cole calls it a scoop slam because he knows nothing about wrestling despite doing this shit for 12 years.  Cover gets 2.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER on the steps, but Sheamus counters.  Orton pulls him across the top rope and hits the DDT OF MURDER from the apron to the floor.  Orton goes for the RKO, but Sheamus pushes him into the post.  Back inside, Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker on the steps, which is incredibly stupid since it doesn’t hurt Orton any more but does hurt Sheamus more.  Sheamus hits the pump kick for 2.  Sheamus finds a chair under the ring and pummels Orton with it a bunch for 2.  Orton ducks another chair shot and hits the RKO.  Sheamus rolls out of the ring.  Orton follows outside and goes for the punt, but Sheamus avoids it and drops Orton with the pump kick.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Sheamus tries to set up the Razor’s Edge off the steps, but Orton trips him.  Orton hits the RKO on the steps for the pin in 22:53.  Okay match, but it didn’t light my world on fire.  Orton climbs to the top of the cell to pose with the belt.

Bragging Rights hype.  Coming the night after a Lesnar fight on top of not mattering anyway, nobody is going to buy that PPV.

Dallas!

Josh Matthews interviews the NXT Season 3 divas: Jamie Keyes, Naomi, Maxine, AJ, Kaitlyn, & Aksana.  WHO THE FUCK CARES?  The Nexus show up and run them off.  THANK YOU!  Barrett says John Cena will have to join The Nexus tonight.  They have an “N” armband for him.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio says he wants to make his PPV debut special.  They show a picture of the chihuahua from Smackdown.  He wonders who his next opponent will be.  He trashes various Texans.  He “challenges anyone.”  Edge comes out.  He says he’s in a fight against stupidity and parts of Del Rio are stupid.  Del Rio says he’s going to hurt Edge, then winks.  Edge says the wink and the ring announcer are stupid.  Del Rio takes his coat off like he’s ready to fight.  Jack Swagger comes out, pissed off about these foreigners.  He says Edge will pay for his eagle’s medical bills.  Edge decks Swagger.  Del Rio jumps Edge from behind.  Swagger beats up Edge.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000.  FUCK!  THIS SHIT IS ON PPV NOW?  The iBooker wants Edge to apologize to it on Raw tomorrow night, and makes Swagger vs. Edge for RIGHT NOW!

Edge vs. Jack Swagger.  A referee comes down to start the match.  Swagger beats on Edge.  Edge fights back.  Swagger whips him into the corner.  Swagger works Edge’s leg.  Edge tries to fight back, but Swagger hits a gut buster for 2.  Swagger sets Edge on the top rope.  Edge goes for a tornado DDT, but Swagger counters and drops him with an enzui clothesline for 2.  Swagger rolls Edge around on the mat.  Edge hot shots Swagger into the ropes, then runs at him.  Swagger avoids it and covers for 2.  Swagger either tries a German suplex or butt fucks Edge on the apron.  He locks in an abdominal stretch on the ropes briefly, then slingshots into the ring and gets dropped with a boot.  Edge hits a wonky facebuster for 2.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Edge counters and goes for the Edgecution.  Swagger counters.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Edge gets a rope break.  Edge backdrops Swagger to the floor, when tries to spear him off the apron.  Swagger pulls Edge to the floor and locks him in the ankle lock.  Edge sends Swagger into the steps.  Back inside, Edge goes up top.  Swagger cuts him off.  Edge headbutts Swagger down and hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Swagger sends Edge to the floor.  Edge pulls Swagger’s shoulder into the post.  Edge goes up up.  Swagger brings him down with a belly to belly throw from the top for 2.  Swagger hits a backdrop suplex, then goes for the springboard Vader Bomb.  Edge avoids it and hits the Edgecution, then goes for the spear.  Swagger counters and hits the Doctor Bomb for 2.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Edge goes for an enzuigiri, but ends up getting his knee wrenched.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Edge gets the ropes.  Swagger pulls him back to the middle.  Edge sends Swagger into the ropes, then hits the spear for the pin in 11:31.  Fine match.

Don’t Try This At Home!

The 4 unimportant members of the Nexus chat backstage.  They want to make sure they aren’t forced to disband tonight.  Otunga has a plan to get around the iBooker’s rule that Cena wins if any of them interfere.

Cena/Barrett video.

Nexus Disbands vs. Cena Joins Nexus: Wade Barrett vs. John Cena.  They wrestle a bit.  Cena does a leapfrog and a hip toss, then a dropkick or something for 1.  Barrett pounds on Cena.  Cena pounds on Barrett.  Cole sounds “pound & ground” because he’s a moron.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Nexus run out to distract him.  Barrett nails Cena from behind, then bitches at Nexus for coming out here.  Barrett whips Cena into the barricade.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Barrett lands a punch for 2.  Barrett hits a backbreaker for 2.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett puts the boots to Cena in the corner.  Cena fights back, but runs himself into the corner.  Barrett hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Barrett stretches Cena across his knee.  Cena tries to fight out, but gets dropped again.  Barrett catapults Cena into the ropes.  Cena fights back and makes his comeback.  Nexus surround the ring.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  The Big Show comes out and attacks Nexus.  He’s followed by Goldust, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Chris Masters, Kofi Kingston, MVP, The Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, John Morrison, and R-Truth (I think I listed everyone).  The cavalry takes out Nexus.  Cena goes for the STF.  Barrett counters out and kicks Cena in the gut, then hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Cena hits some sort of suplex for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Barrett counters and hits a butterfly suplex for 2.  Barrett hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett goes for a diving elbow drop, but Cena avoids it.  Cena goes up top.  Barrett cuts him off and goes for a superplex, but Cena overpowers him.  Cena headbutts Barrett down and hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Barrett counters and hits the Wasteland.  CENA KICKS OUT!  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment.  BARRETT KICKS OUT!  Cena locks in the STF.  Somebody comes out of the crowd and jumps in the ring.  With the referee distracted, somebody else hits Cena with something.  Barrett gets the pin 17:50.  Really, really good match.  Nexus celebrates.  Looking back at the video, I’m pretty sure the first guy was Michael McGillicutty and the second was Husky Harris.  They do the long, drawn out thing with Cena realizing he’s fucked and walking to the back.

Paper Jamz commercial featuring The Miz.

Josh Matthews walks down a purple hallway.  Paul Bearer comes up behind him.  Matthews asks him why he’s back.  He says he has a master plan and Kane will never be his favorite son.

American Airlines Center!

Wrestlers visiting sick kids for Make A Wish!

Unified WWE Divas Championship Match: Michelle McCool (c) (w/ Unified WWE Divas Champion Layla) vs. Natalya.  Natalya takes McCool down and wrestles her.  McCool gets to the ropes and bails.  Natalya chases her and knocks Layla down.  McCool cheap shots Natalya and sends her into the barricade.  McCool works over Natalya in the ring.  Natalya gets a reverse cradle for 2.  McCool hooks in a body scissors.  Natalya makes her comeback.  Natalya hits a clothesline for 2.  Layla gets on the apron.  Natalya pulls her hair.  McCool accidentally decks Layla.  Natalya schoolgirls girl, but the retarded ref takes too long to count and it only gets 2.  McCool hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  McCool goes for the Styles Clash.  Natalya counters and locks in the Sharpshooter.  McCool counters into the heel hook.  Natalya counters back into the Sharpshooter.  Awesome.  Layla throws a shoe at Natalya to cause the DQ in 4:53.  Natalya locks Layla in the Sharpshooter.  Shit happens.  LayCool bail.  Nattie wins, but doesn’t win the belt.  Garbage.

They plug the PPV theme song.

Kane/Undertaker video.

Hell In A Cell Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Kane (c) vs. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer).  Bearer wants to come into the cell, but Taker won’t let him.  Bearer says “You need me in here!”  Kane jumps Taker and they brawl outside the cell, then inside the cell at ringside.  The bell finally rings.  Taker hits Kane with a chair and rams his head into the steps.  Finally in the ring, Taker hits a couple of running clotheslines to the corner.  Taker hits Snake Eyes and the big boot, then a leg drop for 2.  Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Kane gouges his eyes.  Kane hits Taker with the chair.  They brawl at ringside again.  Taker beats up Kane until Kane reverses an Irish whip and sends Taker into the steps.  Kane attacks Taker’s leg with the chair.  Kane wedges Taker’s leg between the post and the steps and kicks the steps into it.  Kane keeps working the leg.  Taker fights back with big punches.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP and I pop.  Back inside, Kane goes after Taker’s leg again.  Undertaker forearms his way out of a hold and lands some punches.  They trade punches.  Taker hits the jumping clothesline.  Taker goes for Old School, but gets crotched on the top rope.  Kane hits a superplex and the diving lariat.  He goes for the cover, but Taker goes for the Hell’s Gate.  Kane bails out of the ring to escape.  Kane comes back in and they do a double knockdown spot, then both sit up and trade punches.  Taker hits Kane with his running DDT for 2.  Taker hits the chokeslam for 2.  Kane hits the chokeslam for 2.  Kane splashes Taker in the corner a bunch and does some corner punches.  Taker hits the Last Ride out of the corner for 2.  Taker goes for the Tombstone, but Kane reverses it and Tombstones Undertaker.  TAKER KICKS OUT!  Kane is cut on the back of his head.  He punches out the referee, presumably to keep him from stopping the match because that shit pisses him off as much as it does me.  They open the cell door to retrieve the KO’d referee, which allows Paul Bearer to come into the cell.  Kane very slowly chases Bearer into the ring.  Kane yells at Bearer.  Taker sits up and chokeslams Kane.  Taker rolls his eyes back and signals for the Tombstone.  Pyro and lightning go off ont he set as Taker goes for the Tombstone.  Bearer opens the urn and a light comes out, which weakens Taker.  Bearer gives Kane the urn, which I assume contains Undertaker’s power.  Kane clocks Taker with the urn, then hits the chokeslam for the pin in 21:41.  Given that I’ve come to expect and be amused by this cartoony shit, this was fun.  Also, it makes perfect sense for Bearer to turn on Taker since the last time we saw Bearer, Taker buried him in concrete.  Bearer leaves with Kane.

Other than the opener and Barrett/Cena, this show kind of sucked.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 10/1/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, new Smackdown open.  The song is awful.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers LIVE from Oklahoma City.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  They lock up and roll around.  MVP backs Ziggler into the corner.  Ziggler cheap shots MVP behind the referee’s back and hits a nice fireman carry takeover for 2.  Ziggler hits some elbow drops for 2.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold, but MVP escapes.  MVP hits rolling Germans and a sliding Yakuza kick for 2.  MVP hits a belly to belly throw that sends Ziggler out of the ring. Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, David Otunga, & Michael Tarver of The Nexus come out and attack Ziggler to cause the DQ in 1:39.  They take him, then surround MVP in the ring.  MVP starts sluggin’, but gets beaten down.  David Otunga hits his spinebuster.  Justin Gabriel hits the 450 splash.  The Big Show comes out to make the save, but is overcome by superior numbers.  John Cena comes out to make the save and gets beaten down too.  Cena and Show probably would have had a better chance if they would have come out together.  Show comes back with a steel chair, whacks Slater in the back, and sends The Nexus running.  Wade Barrett appears on the screen.  He has a blank faced Teddy Long with him.  He says he’s friends with the President of SyFy, so he can “suggest” matches.  Long announces Big Show vs. The Nexus and Cena vs. Kane for tonight.

Michael Cole has joined Grisham and Striker for commentary.  Ugh.

Tonight, Undertaker vs. CM Punk!

co-Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla, Maryse, & Alicia Fox vs. Natalya, Kelly Kelly, & The Bella Twins.  Kelly claps her hands.  Fox kicks her in the stomach.  They do a double clothesline.  Natalya and Maryse tag in.  Natalya hits her with some suplex and a Michinoku Driver II(!) for 2.  Natalya looks awesome here.  She goes for the Sharpshooter, but McCool kicks her in the head.  Bellas land a double dropkick on McCool.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Hornswoggle tries to pull Layla under the ring, then chases her around.  McCool kicks Hornswoggle in the chest.  LayCool hug.  Natalya hits them with a baseball slide dropkick.  Maryse goes for the DDT on Natalya, but Natalya counters and locks in the Sharpshooter for the submission win in 2:35.  Stupid shit, but at least Natalya looked awesome.

Up next, Jack Swagger’s homecoming celebration!

WWE.com plug.  Striker says “for the first time ever, a TV program is moving to the internet.”  Heat and Velocity would say hello if they hadn’t died exactly that way years ago.

Jack Swagger comes out to “Boomer Sooner,” wearing a cape and accompanied by an eagle mascot.  All of his crap is in the ring.  I feel like I’ve seen this segment a hundred times.  He bitches about not getting a parade and a blowjob or whatever people who matter get when they return to their home state.  He gets heat by saying he moved to Texas.  He crowns himself King of Oklahoma.  Edge comes out.  He says he’s on a mission to rid WWE of everything stupid.  He’s my new favorite wrestler.  He talks about all of Swagger’s stupidity.  Swagger hides behind the eagle.  Edge punches the eagle on the beak.  This greatly upsets Swagger.  Edge spears the eagle.

Tonight, Cena vs. Kane in a Lumberjack Match with Nexus as lumberjacks!

Wade Barrett gives The Nexus a pep talk backstage.  They huddle up to talk strategy.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes gives grooming tips.

Handicap Match: The Nexus vs. The Big Show.  All 5 Nexus guys attack Show.  Show fights back and dumps Slater and Gabriel out of the ring.  They grab his legs while the other 3 beat on him in the corner.  They lock Big Show in a 5-way submission hold (Otunga and Gabriel with cross armbreakers, Tarver and Slater with ankle locks, and Barrett with a headscissors).  The referee stops it and gives Nexus the win in 1:34.  This was entertaining for what it was.  Gabriel hits Show with 2 450 splashes after the match.

Tonight, Rey Mysterio returns!

Moments ago, ^^ happened.  During the commercials, Big Show walked to the back holding his ribs.

Oklahoma City!

Undertaker/Kane video.

CM Punk comes out.  He’ll face The Undertaker NEXT!

Tonight, Cena vs. Kane!

CM Punk vs. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer).  Punk ducks Taker’s big fist and gets in a flurry early.  Taker grabs him and throws him out of the ring.  Because he has his powers back.  Taker throws Punk into the barricade, then throws him back inside.  Taker hits the APRON LEG DROP~!  I always mark for that move.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Taker hits Old School.  Punk avoids Taker in the corner, then puts the boots to him.  Punk hits the running knee to the corner followed by the bulldog headlock.  Taker sits up and makes his comeback.  Taker hits Snake Eyes and the big boot, then a leg drop for 2.  Taker hits the chokeslam and the Tombsone Piledriver for the pin in 4:20.  Fun little match.  I’ve hated this Undertaker angle from the start, but this and the stuff last week were awesome.  In a good TV way if not a good wrestling way.

Rey Mysterio returns NEXT!

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio comes out in his suit.  They show him injuring Christian last week.  He talks.  He introduces Rey Mysterio.  Rodriguez brings out a chihuahua in a mask.  He apologizes to the dog and kisses it.  He says he was just kidding, that Mysterio would be there tonight.  Rey Mysterio Jr. does in fact come out and kick Del Rio’s ass.  Rodriguez grabs Mysterio’s leg to allow Del Rio to escape.  Mysterui beats up Rodriguez and gives him the 619.

WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out!  They show him punting Chris Jericho out of WWE on Raw this past Monday.  WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre come out.  They show Sheamus destroying Great Khali on Raw.  Video clip is unrelated, eh?

Non-Title: WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. WWE Tag Team Champion “Dashing” Cody Rhodes (w/ WWE Tag Team Champion Drew McIntyre).  Legacy EXPLODES!  Again!  Orton beats up Rhodes, who tries to avoid getting hit int he face.  Rhodes drops Orton with a punch, then misses a knee drop.  Orton lands a European uppercut.  Rhodes rolls to the apron.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Rhodes counters.  Orton his the powerslam.  Rhodes bails.  Orton follows.  McIntyre tries to sneak up on Orton.  Orton turns to him, but Rhodes jumps him from behind.  Back inside, Rhodes his a knee drop for 2.  Rhodes stomps Orton in the corner, then locks him in a neck & shoulder lock.  Orton avoids the springboard kick and hits the 3.0, then the RKO for the pin in 2:23.  It was fine while it lasted.  McIntyre tries to give Orton the Future Shock, but Orton counters and drops him with an RKO as well.  Nice burial of the tag champs.  Sheamus appears and attacks Orton.  He has a red glove thingy now because he’s the red hand of Ireland.  Sheamus drops Orton with the pump kick.

Tonight, Cena vs. Kane!

WWE charity work & stuff video package.

Oklahoma City!

World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out.  The main event is NEXT!

Non-Title Lumberjack Match: World Heavyweight Champion Kane vs. John Cena.  Kane beats up Cena for a while to start and gets a couple of near falls.  Kane throws Cena out of the ring to get beaten up by Nexus.  They have their way with him and throw him back in.  Insta-commercials.  Kane has Cena in a scissored rear chin lock.  Cena fights out, but Kane drops him with a punch.  Kane goes up top.  Cena ducks the diving lariat and makes his comeback.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Kane escapes and goes for the chokeslam.  Cena counters and sends Kane outside.  Nexus get on the apron.  Cena knocks Gabriel into Kane.  Kane drops Gabriel and Barrett.  Cena fights off the other 3 and runs away.  The lights go out.  Undertaker appears in the ring and beats up Kane.  The match is a no-contest (about 5 minutes shown).  They brawl in the crowd and back to ringside.  In the ring, Kane catches Taker with a big boot.  Taker sits up.  Paul Bearer is in there now too.  Kane goozles Undertaker.  Bearer holds up the urn, which gives Uncertaker the power to chokeslam Kane.  Taker signals for the Tombstone, but Kane runs away.  Undertaker and Bearer pose.

Fun TV show with good hype for the PPV.  Too bad they didn’t hype the PPV on Raw, which people actually watch.