Archive for Maria

WWE Monday Night Raw 6/22/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then the “this stuff happened last week” video.  New Raw open, featuring Donald Trump.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Trump Raw, LIVE and commercial free from Green Bay, Wisconsin!  Tonight, Triple H vs. Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship!

Lillian Garcia introduces Donald Trump, who comes out escorted by either Kelly Kelly or some other generic blond bimbo.  He plays a total babyface, talking about how Vince is a taker, but he is a giver.  He says he’s going to refund everyone’s ticket money.  I could rant here, but I digress…

John Cena comes out and basically repeats what Trump just said, but adds that he has a match with Big Show tonight.  They show a video package of The Miz making fun of Cena recently, then Cena calls him out.  Miz calls him a coward from the stage.  Cena challenges him to come to the ring and say that, so Miz does.  Cena vs. Miz is made for the Bash.  Cena talks about all the stuff he’s been through and he’s never been rattled.  Cena completely tears him down.  I hope he doesn’t job him out that bad at the PPV.  Miz cheap shots Cena and runs away.

Earlier today: Vince McMahon’s limo broke down.  Vince tries to make the driver give him a piggy back ride to the arena (a short walk from where they were standing).  Funny segment.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham are at the commentary with Kentucky Grilled Chicken.  Tonight is Mr. McMahon’s farwell address.  Now, we have a Smackdown match!

Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio Jr., & Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Edge, WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, & Dolph Ziggler.  World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk comes down to do commentary.  Khali destroys Ziggler, who quickly tags Jericho.  Khali throws the heel team out of the ring.  Jeff takes them all out with a cannonball dive, then Mysterio dives off of Khali’s shoulders onto them.  Khali heads up top, but Jericho attacks him.  23 minutes until the Last Man Standing Match!  Mysterio tags in against Jericho.  He goes for the 619, but Edge prevents it.  Jericho drops him with a lariat.  Rey plays face in peril for a minute or so, then makes the hot tag to Hardy.  Hardy hits the front suplex on Ziggler, then Edge spears him.  Khali goes for the choke bomb, but Jericho prevents it.  Jericho hits a half assed Codebreaker.  Mysterio hits a double 619 on Edge and Jericho, then an Asai moonsault on Jericho.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb on Ziggler for the win at 5:11.  Punk comes in and raises Jeff’s hand.  Jeff, the poor sport he is, gets pissed and leaves.

Vince tries to go into Trump’s locker room, but it’s locked.  Santina Marella introduces his/her/itself to him.  Funny segment.  Trump comes out.  Vince is mad Trump took his office.  Trump says Vince’s office is down the hall.  Trump fires Santina.  She runs away as Santino steps into frame.  He is initially upset, but gets over it.  Clever.

The Colons come out and make fun of Ted Dibiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes and say they’ll beat them at The Bash.

Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Primo Colon (w/ Carlito) vs. Cody Rhodes (w/ Ted Dibiase Jr.).  They trade armlocks, then Rhodes kicks Primo’s ass.  Primo makes a comeback.  Jackknife hold gets 2.  Rhodes hits a Russian leg sweep for 2.  Primo gets an inside cradle for 2.  Primo hits a diving cross body, but Rhodes rolls through and pulls the tights for the pin at 3:54.

Vince finds Goldust and Hornswoggle and the locker room.  Goldust reminds Vince that Horny was once his bastard son.  Goldust puts his wig on Vince.  Vince yells at him, then finds his office: a toilet, which Festus was using.

Triple H/Orton video package.  I’m so sick of these two.

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H. They fight.  I’m bored.  Orton attacks Triple H’s knee.  Orton nails him with the ring steps, then keeps working the knee.  Orton tries to use a chair, but Triple H kicks it into his face.  Orton nails him in the head with the chair.  Triple H makes it up at 8.  Orton tries to set up something on the announce table, but Triple H hits him with a low blow.  Triple H sets up the Pedigree, but Orton counters and drops him with the RKO on top of the table.  Triple H makes to his feet at 9, then backdrops Orton on the table.  They both make it up at 8.  Triple H nails Orton with a monitor.  They fight up the ramp.  Spinebuster on the ramp by HHH.  Ouch.  Orton makes it up at 9.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton backdrops him out of it.  Hunter miraculously makes it to h is feet.  They’re down off the ramp now.  HHH counters an RKO attempt and pushes Orton over the barricade.  Up again.  Triple H goes for Orton with a ladder.  Orton ducks and and some poor bystander gets murdered.  HHH falls and knocks over another production guy too.  Orton grabs the ladder.  They’re on the stage now.  Orton hits HHH’s injured leg with the ladder, then nails him in the face, then Pillmanizes the leg with it.  Orton tells the ref to stop the count so he can punish Triple H some more.  Orton sets up the ladder.  Orton goes for an RKO off the ladder.  Triple H counters and hits him with the ladder.  Pedigree on the stage.  Triple H can’t make it to his feet because of the bad knee, so it’s a draw at 20:03.  Weak.  Orton retains.  Triple H gets another lick in after the match.  This whole thing was fucking lame.

Punk/Hardy Bash hype.

Another Miz/Maryse segment.

This Friday on Smackdown, Hardy & Mysterio vs. Edge & Jericho in a Steel Cage Match!

Trump comes out again, this time escorted by Maria and Eve.  Trump says instead of a General Manager, he’s going to appoint a celebrity host every week.  He says something about WrestleMania XXVI, then Vince comes out.  Trump wants to make Raw free and with no commercials every week.  Ricockulous.  Vince wants to buy back Raw.  Trump says no.  Vince keeps offering more money, but Trump keeps shooting him down.  Trump finally agrees with Vince offers him double what he paid.  Vince fires Trump, then Trump slaps him.  This whole fucking angle was pointless.

Clips of the Cena/Show feud, which I’m every bit as sick of as I am Triple H vs. Orton.

Vince tells Dibiase and Rhodes to leave, then tells Orton he’s facing Triple H at the Bash in a 3 Stages of Hell 2/3 Falls Match (Regular match, Falls Count Anywhere match, and Stretcher match).

This Thursday on Superstars: Kofi Kingston defends the United States Championship against MVP and Matt Hardy in a Triple Threat Match.

Mickie James & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Beth Phoenix, & Rosa Mendez.  Heels get heat on one of the Bellas.  Hot tag to Mickie, who hits a neckbreaker on Rosa.  Beth saves.  Bellas dropkick her.  Maryse distracts Mickie and Rosa tries to hit her from behind, but Mickie nails her with a superkick for the pin at 5:06.

Clips of Cena and a Cubs game.

Cole and Lawler are in the ring to run down the Bash card.

The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena hits Show with a shoulder block that sends him out of the ring.  Show hot shots Cena into the barricade.  Back in the ring, Show spears him.  I love the Show spear.  Show works Cena over.  Cena fights back with… a headlock.  Show backdrops him.  I cringe.  Cover gets 2.  Show keeps killing him.  Cena makes a comeback and bitches the diving Fameasser, then hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show gets the chokeslam out of nowhere, but Cena kicks out.  Boo.  Show’s Vader Bomb gets 2.  Cena avoids the camel clutch and locks in the STF with no problem, even though they just had a long boring PPV match based on the fact that Cena couldn’t put it on Show.  Miz runs down.  Cena decks him.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Miz pushes them down and Show gets the pin at 10:25.  Miz poses over Cena.

Triple H jumps Orton in the parking lot and slams the trunk of Orton’s car on his back.  Triple H tells Orton he’s going to hell this Sunday.  Fin.  And thank God.  This show sucked.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 6/19/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

Episode #513: Punk and Disorderly!  I love these titles.

WWE open, Smackdown open, then Jim Ross and Todd Grisham welcome us to… wherever we are tonight.  Roanoke, Virginia!  Tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on Chris Jericho, while CM Punk takes on Rey Mysterio!

Josh Matthews interviews Jeff Hardy in the ring.  They show highlights of Hardy’s Ladder match with Edge at Extreme Rules, where Hardy won the World Championship, then CM Punk cashed in Money In The Bank and beat him for the title.  Then they show Punk retaining the title against Hardy and Edge on Raw this past Monday.  Hardy says he’ll beat Punk at The Bash.  Matthews says they should hear things from Punk’s point of view, so Punk comes out to retort.  Punk defends his actions, rightfully saying that he won both of those matches well within the rules.  They agree that they live different lifestyles, and they’ll settle their differences at the Bash.  Hardy gets cheered, Punk gets booed.  Insta-commercial!

Non-Title: Jeff Hardy vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho.  Grisham calls it “The Extreme Enigma vs. The Extreme Ego.”  Jericho tends to hit moves, but take time to posture to the crowd instead of staying on his opponent.  Jericho applies an abdominal stretch, but Hardy escapes it and makes his comeback… not that there was much of a heat to make a comeback from.  Jericho avoids a kick and goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Hardy counters it.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex.  Ouch.  Hardy avoids the Lionsault.  Hardy hits a front suplex and goes up top for the Swanton, but Jericho bails.  Hardy dives to the outside.  Jericho avoids it and Hardy eats the barricade.  Jericho tosses Hardy back in, then Mysterio comes out of the crowd and ranas Jericho.  Jericho ends up going facefirst into the ringpost and gets counted out at 4:56.  Mysterio goes back into the crowd with 2 other people with the same mask and outfit.  Cute.  Match was disappointing.  Hardy gives Jericho the Twist of Fate and the Swanton for good measure.

Layla and Eve fight over hairspray or something.  Maria plays peacemaker.  Dolph Ziggler shows up and they all get his name wrong.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Khali kicks his ass for a bit, but Ziggler manages to make a comeback and chops Khali’s leg out from under him.  Khali gets DQ’d for a phantom chairshot at 2:03.  Ziggler outsmarts Khali again!

Still to come, Punk vs. Mysterio!

Randy Orton is featured in this month’s WWE magazine!

Raw Rebound.  Scroll down and read the Raw report if you want to know what happened.

Non-Title: WWE Women’s Champion Melina vs. Alicia Fox (w/ Michelle McCool).  Melina will defend the title against McCool at The Bash.  Fox gets Melina in a body scissors, then turns it into a painful looking full nelson.  Melina comes back and beats her with the Code Red at 1:43.  McCool jumps Melina after the match and beats her down, then cuts an awful promo.

John Morrison takes on Edge NEXT!  That should be good.

Edge cuts a promo bitching about not getting another title shot, then says Morrison isn’t fit to breathe his air or be in his ring.  Morrison comes out.  Edge says Morrison wants to be him.  Morrison says Edge isn’t entertaining anymore and he always whines.  Morrison says after this match, Edge will have something to complain about.  Insta-commercial!

This is the version of Smackdown that aired in Australia and New Zealand, so we get some hype for Raw house shows there next month.

Edge vs. John Morrison.  They start with some nice chain wrestling, starting off slow and building it up.  Edge gets heat on him for a while.  Morrison tries to fight back, but Edge sends him off the top rope to the floor.  Insta-commercial.  Edge continues working Morrison over and targets the ribs.  Morrison nails a sweet knee to the face for 2.  Edge goes up top, but Morrison nails his flip kick to send Edge to the floor.  Morrison hits a sweet baseball slide headscissors and sends Edge into the steps.  Back in the ring, cover gets 2.  Edge avoids the Flying Chuck and locks in the Sharpshooter.  Morrison gets a rope break.  Morrison gets a sunset flip for 2.  Morrison hits a Russian leg sweep and heads up to for the Starship Pain, but Edge pulls him down.  Morrison avoids a spear in the corner and crades Edge for 2, then Edge sends him shoulder first into the ring post.  Morrison leapfrogs another spear and hits the Flying Chuck for 2.  Edge counters the Moonlight Drive and hits the Implant DDT, but Morrison kicks out!  Morrison hits a neat DDT for 2.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain again, but Edge moves, then hits the spear for the win (about 13 1/2 minutes shown).  Really good match.

Punk vs. Mysterio is still to come!

Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, & Ricky Ortiz vs. R-Truth & Cryme Tyme.  JTG and Ortiz start.  JTG takes Ortiz down, then tags in Shad, who kicks his ass.  Ortiz avoids a big boot and attacks Shad’s knee.  Haas tags in and continues working Shad’s knee.  Lukewarm tag to Truth.  Benjamin tags in as well and gets the better of him.  Truth connects with a loud slap, then a loud kick for 2.  Haas and Ortiz break the cover.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Truth catches Benjamin coming off the top rope and goes for the scissors kick.  Shelton avoids it, but Truth catches him with a corkscrew elbow smash for the win at 4:03.

The main event is next!

12 Rounds is coming out on DVD.  I don’t fucking care.

Mysterio comes down and says it felt good to give Jericho a taste of his own medicine earlier tonight.  Mysterio says he wants to challenge Jericho to another title match.  Jericho comes out to the stage and says he already gave Mysterio his rematch and beat him.  Jericho babbles for a while.  Mysterio tells him to shut up.  They eventually agree to a mask vs. title match at the PPV.

Non-Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk.  Jericho is doing commentary.  Punk is still working as a face, and he’s still selling the knee from Raw.  Mysterio attacks Punk’s knee.  Punk fights back.  Punk avoids the 619.  Insta-commercial.  Mysterio takes the shoulder into the ring post bump and gets schoolboyed for 2.  Punk works Mysterio’s shoulder.  Mysterio comes back again and does his stuff.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away, hits the ropes, and gets caught with a big kick by Punk for 2.  Punk hits the knee in the corner, avoids the 619, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Mysterio counters into a pinning predicament for 2.  Mysterio tries a flip, but Punk catches him in the Go 2 Sleep position again.  Mysterio holds on to the ropes, so Punk tosses him out.  The referee stops Punk from going outside and Jericho uses the distraction to attack Mysterio.  Mysterio beats the count back in the ring, but Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep for the win (8:19 shown).  Jeff Hardy runs down to complain to the ref… or something.  Punk leaves as Jeff’s music plays.  Fin.

WWE WrestleMania XXV (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then an awesome WrestleMania opening video where various wrestlers talk what they think is the greatest WrestleMania moment of all time, then comments on the big matches tonight.

Howard Finkel welcomes us to the *sigh* 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.  I’m not even going to get into that today.  The Fink then introduces Nicole Somethingorother from the Pussycat Dolls, who sings a horrible rendition of “America The Beautiful.”

The Army National Guard presents WrestleMania!  “Shoot To Thrill” plays, fireworks, and Jim Ross welcomes us to WrestleMania.  Wow, I feel really welcome with all of these welcomes.  Justin Roberts introduces our first match, the Money In The Bank Lader Match!  Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole are doing a three-man commentary team tonight.  Also, we finally have the long awaited return of the Spanish announce table!  Carlos and Hugo are back, baby!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle and rocking the old school Belfast Bruiser vest thingy) vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane.  Christian’s entrance is the only one to get an audible pop from the huge crowd.  On TV, anyway.  According to people who were there, the crowd was way hotter live than it appeared on TV, so maybe there was some audio trouble or something.  Enough of that, on to the match!  Bell rings, everybody pairs off and brawls.  Kane and Henry go at it.  Maybe they’ll take each other to prevent them from dragging the match down.  Christian and Benjamin take them down with a ladder, then try to take out Kofi.  Kofi leapfrogs the ladder, then dropkicks it and legdrops the ladder with both the guys under it.  “Controlled frenzy” line from Cole.  The ladder gets set up and Kane and Henry climb it.  Other guys come in and take the big dudes out, then they all climb a couple of ladders.  Kane and Henry come back in and push the two ladders over, then fight each other again.  Kane knocks Henry down and throws one of the ladders out of the ring, then climbs the other.  Henry comes in and tips the ladder over to send Kane crashing.  Finlay comes in and takes out Henry, who throws the ladder out.  Finlay lands a tope suicida on Kane and Benjamin.  Christian follows with his own dive, followed by MVP, then stereo dives from Punk and Kofi.  Benjamin hits a fucking insane dive off of a tall ladder in the aisle onto the pile of guys.  “HOLY SHIT” chant.  Henry teases diving, but Henry whacks him with the stick.  Hornswoggle sets up a step ladder and Finlay helps him climb onto Henry, then dive onto the pile.  The video was skipping, so I think my DVD may have not burned properly.  Kofi does an awesome spot where he dropkicks Finlay through an open ladder.  Finlay nails him with the step ladder, then uses it to nail the other guys coming back in.  Finlay goes to make the climb, but Kofi kicks him off and climbs himself.  Henry comes in and pushes the ladder over.  The next awesome Kofi spot happens, where Henry is holding an unopened ladder vertically.  Kofi climbs it and gets caught by Henry, who transitions it into the World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder.  Henry climbs, but MVP comes and takes him down, then sets up another ladder between the set up ladder and the top rope.  Benjamin comes in and he and MVP do some crazy shit that ends with Shelton taking a powerbomb.  MVP climbs, Punk stops him.  Christian tries to stop him but gets knocked down, then gets back up on the horizontal ladder behind Punk.  They fight, then Christian hits a botched but cool Unprettier off the ladder.  MVP climbs up, but Benjamin sets up the crazy thing and runs up, then botches a sunset flip off the ladder and gets a “YOU FUCKED UP” chant.  Benjamin powerbombs MVP out of the ring onto Henry and Atlas.  Finlay and Benjamin both climb.  Shelton nails Finlay, who takes a bump on the horizontal ladder.  Christian comes in and fights with Benjamin.  Benjamin sets up the ladder that has been horizontal, so we now have two vertical ladders.  They climb, but the ladder falls over.  Benjamin spills out of the ring, but Christian catches the top rope with his foot in a cool Captain Morgan post and gets it straight again.  Punk tries to stop Christian, but gets his leg caught in the ladders.  Kane comes up and chokeslams Christian off the ladder (not as cool as it sounds).  Punk goes for the prize, but Kane goozles him.  Punk kicks Kane in the head to knock him down, then takes the briefcase of the win at 14:29.  That’s where I timed it, but my DVD did skip a bit so it probably is the 14:24 other reports have it as.  Fucking awesome match.  Kofi really shined here, but everyone had their moments.

Axxess highlights.

Kid Rock mini-concert.  He performs a medley of his songs consisting Bawitaba, some song I don’t know, Cowboy, All Summer Long, and So Hott.  During the last one, the 25 divas in the Battle Royal make their way to the ring.  The whole thing goes about 10 minutes.

Now I actually put some work into working out this clusterfuck of a match, so bear with me.

Divas Battle Royal featuring Kelly Kelly, WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Layla, Jillian Hall, Rosa Mendez, Maria, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Eve Torres, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Katie Lea, Sunny, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Joy Giovanni, Torrie Wilson, Alicia Fox, Tiffany Terrell, Victoria, and Santino Marella (in drag).  The bell rings and they start fighting while Roberts introduces the match.  Mae Young is at ringside with Candice Michelle as the guest timekeeper.  Now this clusterfuck is impossible to call live, but from my earlier research, the order of elimination is Layla, Joy, Rosa, Alicia, Sunny, Torrie, Jackie, Maria, Gail, Jillian, Eve, Tiffany, Kelly, Molly, Maryse, Katie Lea, Natalya, Victoria, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Michelle McCool… then the finish is Beth going for the Glam Slam on Melina, but Santino bundles them both out to win the match at 6:10.  Pointless, but at least we got to look at a bunch of hot chicks for a few minutes.  I can say that my ridiculously jealous wife is gone.  Candice comes in the ring to present the Miss WrestleMania crown and sash to the winner.  He introduces himself as “Santina, Santino’s twin sister from Italy.”  The announcers don’t even actually acknowledge that it’s Santino.  Beth looks on, pissed.

Jericho vs. Legends hype video, a lot of which is about Mickey Rourke.  They show Rourke taking his seat in the audience.

Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steaboat, Roddy Piper, & Jimmy Snuka (w/ Ric Flair).  Piper, who looks incredibly old, insists on starting.  He spits his gum at Jericho, then proceeds to kick his ass for the first few minutes, other than an embarrasing spot early on when Piper gets his arm stuck in the ropes.  Piper throws a half assed dropkick that only connects with one leg.  Snuka tags in and looks fucking terrible.  Steamboat tags in to a big pop and looks FUCKING AWESOME.  Steamboat nails a couple of GORGEOUS arm drags, causing me to mark out for an arm drag for the first time in my life.  Steamboat works the arm a bit, then tags Snuka back in.  They do a double chop and Snuka’s doesn’t even connect.  Jericho locks Snuka in the Walls of Jericho for the submission at 3:45.  Thank God.  He refuses to break the hold until Piper and Steamboat come in and force him.  There are some incidents of the audio going out for a second.  Piper goes after Jericho again, poking him in the eyes and locking in the sleeper hold.  Jericho escapes and hits an enzuigiri for the pin at 4:45.  Steamboat hits a sweet diving crossbody for a near fall.  Steamboat and Jericho go at it, and it’s awesome.  Jericho tosses Steamboat out and decks Flair as Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Steamboat sends Jericho out of the ring and dives onto him, then sends him back in and hits the diving karate chop.  More chops, then Steamboat gets a near fall with a reverse cradle.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, but Steamboat avoids it.  Steamboat catches Jericho with a powerslam for a near fall.  Jericho locks in the Walls, but Steamboat manages to counter out with an inside cradle for another near fall.  Jericho goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands on his feet.  Jericho catches the Codebreaker out of nowhere for the win at 8:57.  Snuka was awful.  Piper tried, but wasn’t good.  Steamboat was the fucking man and made the match.  Flair attacks Jericho after the match, but ends up taking a backdrop and eating the Codebreaker.  Jericho challenges Rourke.  Rourke stalls forever before finally getting in the ring.  They have an impromptu amateur boxing match which ends with Rourke catching Jericho with a left hand and knocking him down.  Flair comes in and celebrates with Rourke.  Another pointless waste of time.  The post-match stuff, not the match, though the match would have been MUCH better if it was just a Jericho/Steamboat singles match.

Army National Guard commercial.

The announcers chat a bit to introduce the Hardys video package.

Extreme Rules Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy.  Matt talks trash, then Jeff jumps on him and kicks his ass.  Jeff pulls a WrestleMania poster from under the ring and breaks it over Matt’s head, prompting a great line from Lawler: “Well, at least Matt finally got his face on the WrestleMania poster.”  Matt catches Jeff with a chair to the legs while Jeff was attempting the Whisper in the Wind, then moments later nailed him with a shop vac.  I was amused.  Matt hits the Side Effect on the chair for a near fall.  Ouch.  Matt sets up a table on the outside.  Logic says Matt will be the one to go through that table later on.  Matt takes a bump in the steps and the ref and trainer check on him.  Matt hits him with a Singapore cane, then puts a trash can over his head and hits him with a crutch.  Jeff hits a front suplex and goes up top, but Matt avoids the Swanton bomb.  Matt hits the Twist of Fate, but Jeff kicks out at two.  Jeff hits Matt with a chair, then sets him up on that table from earlier.  Jeff sets a chair on top of Matt, then sets another table on top of the table on which Matt is laying.  Jeff goes to the top rope and dives through the table.  Told ya so.  “HOLY SHIT” chant, but I’m pretty sure the top table actually made the spot safer.  Jeff puts Matt in the ring and covers, but Matt puts his foot on the bottom rope.  Jeff brings in a ladder, then sets up a chair and hits a leg drop off of it.  He sets up two ladders and does that “jump from the shorter ladder over the taller ladder and do a leg drop” spot, but Matt moves and Jeff dies.  Matt his a Twist of Fate using an open chair, which looks SICK, for the win at 13:15.  Good plunder match, and no doubt the best match they’ve ever had against each other.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.

Randy Orton is shown in his locker room with Legacy, getting ready.  At least Dibiase and Rhodes got a second of screen time.

Lillian Garcia introduces the first Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania in 7 years.  JBL comes down, cutting a promo about how he is returning to Texas as a champion and being the only hero Texas has, or something to that effect.  Mysterio makes his entrance with an awesome Heath Ledger Joker mask and outfit.  Lillian does the introductions in-ring, then JBL nails Mysterio with a big boot, then nails him with some punches.  The referee asks Mysterio if he still wants to wrestle.  He says he does, so we have…

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio ducks a kick and hits an enzuigiri, a dropkick, the 619, and the diving splash for the win in 21 seconds.  Mysterio celebrates and leaves with the gold.  JBL takes the microphone and quits, which makes the crowd pop big.  He leaves, yelling at the crowd that they’ll regret him leaving.

A nice shot of the Houston skyline.  A NASCAR driver is in the crowd.

Shawn/Taker video package.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker.  Here we go.  Awesome entrances, as Michaels descends from above, then Taker rises from the stage.  Bell rings.  Taker looks to throw punches, but Michaels ducks and lands his own blows.  Taker gets hold of Michaels and tosses him into the turnbuckle.  Michaels responds with a defiant crotch chop.  Michaels leap frogs Taker and pounces on him.  Taker finally manages to land some punches and hammers Michaels down.  Michaels answers with chops, but Taker throws him into the corner, then back body drops him.  Taker press slams Shawn and drops an elbow.  First cover of the match gets a one count.  Taker hits Old School.  Shawn chop blocks Taker to weaken his leg, then locks in the figure-four.  Taker throws some punches and manages to escape.  Taker kicks Shawn’s ass for a minute until Michaels counters a chokeslam attempt into a crossface.  Taker finally manages to get up and drop Michaels with a side slam to escape it.  They trade blows.  Michaels hits the forearm and nips up.  Michaels knocks Taker down and goes to the top for the big elbow, but Taker gets up and catches him with the goozle.  Michaels counters the chokeslam attempt and feigns a superkick.  He goes for the figure-four again, but Taker locks in the Gogoplata.  Michaels scampers around and manages to get a rope break.  Michaels avoids the apron leg drop, causing Taker to hurt his leg again.  Michaels hits a baseball slide kick, then goes for a moonsault to the outside, but Taker avoids it.  Taker gets back in the ring and goes for a suicide dive.  Michaels pulls a camera man (played by Sim Snuka) in the way and Taker ALMOST KILLS HIMSELF.  I don’t know how he managed to not break his neck.  It was a tope suicida that almost turned into a Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Taker BARELY beats the count back in the ring.  Michaels tunes up the band and goes for the superkick, but Taker catches him with a huge chokeslam for a VERY close two count.  They counter each other’s finishes until Michaels lands the superkick for the one, two… TAKER KICKS OUT!  They rest for a moment, then Michaels nips up and stands over the dead Taker.  Taker comes back to life and goozles him, then gets up and goes for the Last Ride.  Michaels counters.  Taker goes for it again and hits it big time for the one, two, hegothimnohedidn’tcomeonref!  Taker, for some reason, goes for the diving elbow drop, but crashes and burns when Michaels moves.  When everybody gets up, Taker throws Michaels over the top rope.  Michaels skins the cat… right into the Tombstone!  Taker covers for the one, two, and MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers the straps to reveal his chest, which has been beaten blood red.  He goes for another Tombstone, but Michaels counters with somewhat of a DDT.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop, then NAILS the superkick for a very believable near fall.  Taker’s not done yet, though.  They make it to their feet and trade blows until Taker knocks Shawn down.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters.  Taker runs into Michaels’ boot in the corner.  Michaels goes for another moonsault, but Taker catches him and drops him with a second Tombstone and gets the pin at 30:43.  Fucking amazing epic match here, one of the best matches in WrestleMania history.

Raw Draft special commercial.

Evander Holyfield is in the crowd.  The announcers reflect on the epic match we just saw, but still have to feign interest in the matches still to come.

Edge/Cena/Show video package.

Lillian introduces Vickie Guerrero, who is wheeled down by Chavo.  At least Chavo gets a WrestleMania payday.  Edge makes his way out, then Show.  Cena’s old music hits and a bunch of Cena look-alikes come out and line the entry way.  Then the real Cena comes out.  I guess it’s the real Cena anyway.  In-ring intros, then we have…

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena tries to out-quick the other guys, but gets knocked down.  Edge tries to form an alliance with Show, but Show quickly betrays him.  Edge is disposed of, then Show beats down Cena.  Show ends up outside the ring and Cena hits his diving Fameasser to the oustide on Show.  Edge and Cena end up in the ring.  Edge hits his DDT and gets a near fall.  Show makes it back in.  Chavo pulls Cena out of the ring and gets F-U… er, has his Attitude Adjusted for his troubles.  Show does the Andre “tied up in the ropes” spot and watches Cena beat up Edge.  Vickie gets out of her wheelchair and gets on the apron.  Edge accidentally spears her for the 374th time.  Show finally gets out and beats up everyone.  Show goes for a double chokeslam, but Cena gets away, so Edge is the only one to take it.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjuster, but Show counters and nails his KO punch.  Show and Edge fight outside.  Edge spears Show through the guardrail.  Edge covers Cena for a two count back in the ring.  Edge goes for the spear, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Show makes it back up and pulls Cena out of the ring, then headbutts him.  Show goes for a Vader bomb on Edge, but Edge avoids it.  Edge and Cena unite to suplex Show, then they clothesline him out of the ring.  Edge takes a cheap shot and gets a near fall on Cena.  Cena hits the Throwback and goes up top.  Show pushes him off right into a spear from Edge in a cool spot.  Edge hops on Show’s back and tries to put him down with a sleeper.  Cena shows his retard strength and lifts both of them for the Attitude Adjuster.  Edge falls of and Show takes the move.  Cena hits it on Edge, dropping him on top of Show, then covers Show for the win at 14:43.  Not a bad match, but nothing was going to follow Shawn vs. Taker.

WrestleMania XXVI is coming to Arizona!

Justin Roberts introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2009: The Funks (Terry & Dory Jr.), Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, The Von Erichs (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky Steamboat, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Austin appears on the stage in his suit, then leaves.  He comes back out on his four wheeler in an Austin 3:16 shirt.  He drives down to the ring and drinks some beer, even sharing one with good ol’ J.R.  Ross puts this over as the end of the Austin era.

Backlash!  Backlash!  BACKLASH!

Lillian announces the attendance as 72,744.

Triple H/Orton history package.

Triple H is shown walking backstage.  He runs into Vince and Shane McMahon.  They exchange nods of the head.  Main event time!

WWE Championship Match: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Triple H can lose the title by DQ or count-out.  Entrances and in-ring introductions here too.  Triple H kicks Orton’s ass to start and gets told off by the referee.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere, but is an idiot, so doesn’t cover.  Orton goes for the punt of death, but Triple H avoids it and hits the Pedigree.  He is also an idiot and doesn’t cover.  They fight outside for a moment, then back in, then back out, then back in.  Orton begs off, but Triple H hammers him anyway.  They end up outside again.  Orton reverses Triple H and whips him into the steps, then into the time keeper’s area.  Triple H makes it back in the ring to avoid being counted out, but Orton goes to work on him.  My DVD starts skipping again.  Must have been a bad burn.  It finally starts playing right again, but my timing is going to be completely screwed now.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters with a quick jackknife hold for a near fall.  The match speeds up a bit now, with Triple H avoiding the RKO and getting a near fall with a quick schoolboy, then catching Orton with the big spinebuster.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Orton hits his 3.0 backbreaker for a near fall.  Orton catches Triple H coming off the turnbuckle with a sweet dropkick.  Triple H avoids the punt again and sends Orton outside.  Triple H teases hitting Orton with a monitor, but thinks better of it.  They tease a Pedigree through the announce table, but Orton backdrops Triple H to the other table, which doesn’t give.  Orton drops Triple H with his sick DDT off the table and they do the big count-out tease, but Triple H makes it back in.  Orton punishes him some more.  Ref bump.  Orton hits the RKO and retrieves the sledgehammer.  Triple H catches Orton coming back in and punts him.  Triple H hits Orton with the sledgehammer, hides it, and hammers Orton with punches.  The referee wakes up and makes Triple H stop throwing punches.  Triple H hits the Pedigree for the pin at 23:34 (according to Wikipedia since my timing got fucked up).  Flattest Mania finish ever, and Orton totally got jobbed.

WrestleMania highlight video.  Fin.

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/30/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

Here we are with the go home Raw for WrestleMania 25!

WWE open, then a hearse backs into the arena.  Raw open, then Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show.  Tonight, something with Undertaker, I wasn’t paying attention, and John Cena vs. The Big Show.

WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox, Eve Torres, & Tiffany Terrell vs. WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Jillian Hall, Katie Lea, Nikki Bella, Layla, & Rosa Mendez.  18 woman clusterfuck.  Tiffany pinned Katie Lea with an inside cradle for the win in a couple of minutes.  Santino Marella comes down in a robe.  Santino said he went to WWE President Jack Tunney and found out he was dead.  He still wants to be in the Women’s battle royal at WrestleMania.  He disrobes to reveal some kind of gay outfit and does a gay dance around the ring.  He gets kicked out of the ring and Beth and Rosa pull him away.

Orton/Triple H replay #72,000,000,001.  Tonight: Orton’s address!  Haven’t we already been to his house?  Lawler takes on Chris Jericho NEXT!

Last week: Jericho killed Ric Flair and broke his watch.

Chris Jericho vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.  Apparently the Jericho vs. old guys WrestleMania match is elimination or gauntlet.  Jericho has to beat all of them, but only one of them has to beat Jericho.  Jericho and Lawler lock up, then shove each other.  King hammers Jericho with punches.  Jericho gets in a cheap shot to get the advantage.  Jericho beats on King for a while.  King makes his comeback and lowers the strap so his man tits can flap freely.  Lawler blisters Jericho with punches.  Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho for the win at 3:25.  Jericho prepares to beat down Lawler some more, but Lawler lands a punch and Jericho bails.  Jericho takes the microphone and says he beat Lawler so he’s not getting back in the ring.  He says he’ll beat the old guys at WrestleMania, it’s just a matter of how.

12 Rounds hype.  I don’t care, nor will I ever.  Cena takes on Big Show TONIGHT!

Hall of Fame hype.  Commercials!

Toasty Torpedo Takedown… huh?  Cena wrestled Edge a few weeks ago and Big Show interfered.

Todd Grisham interviews John Cena.  Or tries to.  Edge steps in and recommends that he and Cena unite to take out Big Show.  Cena declines.

Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr. talk to Cole about Randy Orton.  Rhodes has on a new Legacy t-shirt.  Orton’s WrestleMania Address tonight will CHANGE WWE FOREVER!

Some people pull a casket out of the hearse.  Shawn Michaels pops out and mouths something.  Commercial.

Non-Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion John Bradshaw Layfield.  Yeah, lots of people are going to buy WrestleMania to see the exact match they just saw on TV.  JBL cuts a promo saying he wants this match for some kind of psychological advantage or something.  Rey tries to use his speed, but JBL overwhelms him with his size.  Commercial!  Back from break, JBL continues to overwhelm Mysterio.  Mysterio takes a fall away slam and roles out of the ring.  JBL goes out and puts the boots to him.  JBL brings him back in the ring and Mysterio makes a comeback.  Bombs Away and an enzuigiri from Mysterio.  JBL avoids a 619 attempt, but Mysterio hits it on the second try and follows with the frog splash for the win at 6:45.  That means JBL is winning at WrestleMania.

Replay of the Cena’s promo from Smackdown.  He’ll face Big Show NEXT!

WrestleMania XI video.

John Cena vs. The Big Show.  I’m not paying much attention, but Show has the advantage in the early minutes.  Big Show does a baseball slide dropkick of all things as we go to commercial.  Back from break, Show has Cena in a Camel Clutch like move.  Cena counters a chokeslam and hits that weird DDT/suplex Show always takes.  Cena goes for the STF, but Show blasts him with an elbow.  Cena goes for the F-U, but his back is hurt.  Show hits the chokeslam for the clean win at 10:37.  Edge shows up and pounds on Cena.

Orton’s WrestleMania address TONIGHT!

Replay of the Undertaker/Michaels stuff from Smackdown.  Michaels leads the pall bearers our way.  Commercial.

WrestleMania Axxess video.  Looks like lots of awesome stuff to do.

Moments ago: Cena/Show.

Shawn Michaels cuts his usual promo on Undertaker in the ring.  The ring is set up to look like a funeral or something.  The lights go out and Taker appears in the ring.  Michaels has disappeared.  Taker throws all the shit in the ring around.  Michaels appears from under the casket and lands the Sweet Chin Music.  Michaels runs away, Taker is mad, same old shit.

12 Rounds hype again.

Moments ago: Michaels/Undertaker stuff.

Hall of Fame hype: The awesome Steve Austin video plays.

WrestleMania hype I think.  I wasn’t paying attention.

Dibiase and Rhodes are with security guards.

Time for another Money In The Bank preview match!  CM Punk and Kane come out.  Commercial break, then Hardy vs. Hardy hype video.  That’s stupid.  Can’t it wait until after the match?

Battle Royal: CM Punk vs. Kane vs. WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Everybody fights.  Henry eliminates Finlay.  Hornswoggle distracts Henry and everyone dumps Henry out.  MVP and Benjamin fight on the apron.  Kane knocks them both to the floor to eliminate them.  Punk (I think) eliminates his former tag team parter Kofi Kingston.  Christian tries to eliminate Punk, but Punk fights back and hits his running knee in the corner.  Christian counters the bulldog and throws Punk out, but Punk holds on.  Kane throws Christian into Punk and they both go to the floor to give Kane the win at 3:38.  I think Punk hit first, if it matters.  Kane climbs the ladder and takes down the briefcase.  The build to this match has been retarded and repetitive.

Dibiase and Rhodes come with security to escort Orton to the ring.  Orton’s WrestleMania address is NEXT!

Randy Orton comes out and talks for a while.  They show Triple H turning on Orton back in 2004, Orton eliminating Triple H to win the Royal Rumble this year, and Orton’s various attacks on the McMahon family.  Orton says the IED was bullshit, which everyone knew.  He threatens the fans to shut up and listen to him talk or else.  They show the beatdown from last week.  He says he talked to Vickie Guerrero and she decreed that Triple H can lose the title by DQ or count-out and if Triple H brings a sledgehammer to the ring it’s an automatic DQ.  Orton calls for Dibiase and Rhodes to bring the security out.  He calls out Triple H because there’s an empty limo in the parking lot.  Mr. McMahon comes out instead!  Orton looks shocked.  Vince gets ready to fight.  Shane comes out next, followed by Triple H.  The McMahon men kick the shit out of Orton’s security detail, then brawl with Legacy.  Orton and Triple H end up brawling in the ring as the show fades to black.

WrestleMania 25 this Sunday on PPV!

I apologize for this review being so shitty.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 3/13/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Smackdown opens with a replay of the Edge/Show/Cena contract signing from Raw and the revelation of the Show/Vickie affair.

There’s a new Smackdown open since the last time I watched it.  Jim Ross and Tazz are on commentary.  Tonight, The Undertaker takes on Vladimir Kozlov!  Also, Matt Hardy is going to tell all!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. Kofi Kingston.  Kofi finally gets his shot at revenge for Edge taking him out at No Way Out and taking his spot in the Elimination Chamber, where Edge won the World Title.  Back and forth action for a minute and a half, Edge bails, insta-commercial.  During the break, Kofi took a bump out of the ring.  Edge works Kofi over.  Edge heads to the top rope, but Kofi trips him, then kicks him off the apron and hits a crossbody out of the ring and onto Edge.  Kofi hits a pair of big splashes for a near fall.  I missed some action because my evil nephews are in my room being disruptive.  On the outside, Kofi sends Edge into the steps, just like Edge did to him at No Way Out.  Back in the ring, Kofi hnits a diving cross body for a near fall.  Edge nails him in the face with a boot.  He goes for the spear, but Kofi leapfrogs him and gets a near fall with a sunset flip.  Edge blocks the Trouble In Paradise and locks in the Sharpshooter for the win at 6:59+ commercials.  Nice little match.

Replay of the Triple H/Orton angle from Raw.  World Tag Team Titles on the line NEXT!

Plug for Cena’s movie.

World Tag Team Championship Match: John Morrison & The Miz (c) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito & Primo Colon (w/ The Bella Twins).  These teams have been having quite the series of matches lately from what I’ve heard.  Carlito starts with quick pin attempts on Morrison.  Primo and Miz go at it, then Carlito tags in and they double team Miz for a near fall.  Carlito decks Morrison and knocks him off the apron.  Morrison recovers and helps Miz double team Carlito for a near fall.  Carlito takes the heat for a bit, then makes the hot tag to Primo.  Primo hits a diving headbutt on Morrison, then tosses Miz out of the ring.  Primo tags out and monkey flips Morrison, then Carlito clotheslines him for a near fall.  Primo and Miz get sent out of the ring and Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on Carlito for the win at 5:58.  The Bellas leave with Miz and Morrison.

Tonight, Undertaker vs. Kozlov!

Another bit of the Triple H/Orton angle from Raw.

Tonight, Matt Hardy tells all!

Triple H/Orton video AGAIN.

R-Truth comes out.  Commerical!

WrestleMania hype.

MVP & R-Truth vs. WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamnin & Chavo Guerrero Jr.  R-Truth blasts Chavo with a kick early on and gets a near fall, then tags in MVP.  MVP and R-Truth take turns working over Chavo.  Shelton declines to tag in until Chavo gets the advantage.  Heels get heat on R-Truth and my young nephew is really fucking obnoxious.  I wish it was still acceptable to backhand a child.  MVP gets the hot tag and cleans house.  He hits the Ballin’ elbow drop on Benjamin for a near fall.  He ducks a shot from Chavo and pulls him into the ring.  Truth runs for Chavo, but gets backdropped out of the ring.  MVP sends Chavo out, but Benjamin hits the Paydirt on MVP for the pin at 6:03.

Matt Hardy is headed to the ring.

Last week, Matt cost Jeff Hardy a Money In The Bank Qualifying Match.

Matt comes out and cuts his promo on Jeff.  He talks about Jeff’s house burning down and pulls out the dog collar that belongs to Jeff’s dog that died in the fire.  Jeff comes out and snatches the microphone from him.  Jeff says Matt was responsible for everything and that Matt hates him, but Matt hates himself more.  Jeff beats the shit out of him and Matt begs off.

Long black screen, then a replay of what just happened.

WWE Divas Champion Maryse & Michelle McCool vs. WWE Women’s Champion Melina & Maria.  McCool destroys Maria, then the champs go at it.  Melina pins Maryse with an inside cradle at 2:44.  Maryse and McCool have a catfight after the match.

Edge and Chavo chat backstage.  Edge gets the idea that Chavo has eyes for Vickie and chokes him.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match, NEXT!

WrestleMania video, this time hyping WrestleMania XX.  That boot trick that Eddie pulled on Kurt Angle was absolutely brilliant.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match:
Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle) vs. Brian Kendrick (w/ Ezekiel Jackson).  This is for the final spot in the MITB match at WrestleMania.  Zeke takes a cheap shot at Finlay before the match starts.  Instead of allowing Kendrick to get the early advantage, it just pisses Finlay off.  Finlay kicks his ass.  Kendrick slaps Finlay and hides behind Zeke.  Zeke distracts Finlay long enough to let Kendrick hit a dive and get the advantage.  Kendrick hits a missile dropkick for a near fall.  Finlay utilizes his awesome “trap the other guy on the apron” trick on Kendrick.  Kendrick goes for the Sliced Bread #2, but Finlay hits the Schwein, er… Celtic Cross, for the win at 3:12.

Main event is NEXT!

Another plug for Cena’s movie.  I still don’t care.

Ross and Tazz run down the WrestleMania card.

Undertaker enters for the main event.  Commercial!

Kozlov pinned Undertaker a couple of weeks ago on Smackdown.

The Undertaker vs. Vladimir Kozlov.  Boring brawl, commercial, Undertaker hits that awesome apron leg drop.  Taker chokes Kozlov a bit, then Kozlov gets the advantage and beats on him.  Taker backdrops Kozlov out of a headlock and hammers him with punches.  Taker hits the snake eyes, but Kozlov headbutts him in the gut.  More Taker punches.  Taker hits Old School, chokeslam, and Tombstone for the victory (around 10 minutes shown).

Fun show, nothing offensive went long.

WWE Superstars 2/25/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are on commentary first.

William Regal & Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella & Chris Masters (w/ Eve Torres).  Regal and Santino start.  They do some mat wrestling.  Regal awesomely arm drags his way out of a full nelson.  Regal and Santino have an awesome exchange, then Swagger tags in.  Marella drops Swagger with a a forearm, then Swagger drops him with a lariat and tags Regal back in.  Santino does his cobra pose, so Regal stomps his hand.  Santino is knocked out of the ring.  He gets back in the apron and Regal knees him to the floor.  Tag to Swagger, who brings Santino back inside.  Santino avoids a Vader Bomb and makes the hot tag to Masters.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, fails, but still runs wild on Swagger.  Masters hits a running powerslam, decks Regal, wriggles his pecs, and puts Swagger in the Master Lock.  Regal interrupts.  Santino and Regal go outside.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb on Masters for the pin in 4:22.  Cole calls Regal and Swagger “Snake charmers” for having overcome the cobra.  Fine little match.

Tonight’s main event will see Matt Hardy, Great Khali, & Maria take on the Hart Dynasty & Natalya!

Elimination Chamber highlights.

WrestleMania is 31 days away!

WWE bullshit fact of the week.

Zack Ryder (w/ Rosa Mendez) vs. Primo.  Pretty good stuff in the early going.  Primo gets some momentum going and heads up top, but Ryder stops him from diving and does the bottom rope decapitator bit.  Ryder with a chin lock.  Ryder hits the Rough Ryder for 2.  He punches Primo, then clamps on a headlock.  Primo hits a tornado DDT and gets some offense rolling.  Rosa distracts Primo.  Ryder avoids a springboard cross body and hits the Zack Attack for the pin in 4:05.  Decent stuff.  Lawler says “A few more wins like that and he’ll be able to afford the other leg on his tights.”

NXT highlights, then hype for the next episode.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are now on commentary.

Luke Gallows (w/ Serena) vs. Silas Young.  Gallows cuts a short pre-match promo.  Young tries, but gets destroyed.  Nasty back bump out of the corner by Young.  Gallows squashes him in the opposite corner, hits a backbreaker out if a fireman’s carry, then hits the choke bomb for the pin in 1:31.  Serena punts Young in the gut after the match.

Raw Rebound.

“I Made It” By Kevin Ruddolf (or something similar) is the WrestleMania theme song.

Undertaker/Shawn Michaels video package from Raw.

Grisham and Striker hype the WrestleMania matches that we know so far.

The main event is NEXT!

Great Khali, Matt Hardy, & Maria (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. The Hart Dynasty & Natalya.  Hardy and Kidd do some wrestling to start.  Kidd escapes a predicament and screams at Hardy, which befuddles everyone.  Hardy manages to keep wrestling, despite Kidd’s terrifying scream.  Hardy knocks Kidd out of the ring.  Commercials.  Hardy and Kidd are still going at it.  Khali and Smith tag in.  Khali destroys Smith.  Smith tags in Natalya, which means Maria must come in.  Natalya forearms Maria off the apron, then brings her into the ring.  Maria does a spinning head scissors and throws some kicks.  Natalya drops her by her hair.  Natalya works over Maria.  Natalya chops Khali.  Khali grabs her arm.  Smith boots Khali off the ring.  Kidd tries to attack Maria, but fails.  Hardy tags in and runs wild on Kidd.  Hardy hits a sit-out powerbomb out of the corner for 2.  They show Hardy’s NXT rookie, Justin Gabriel, watching backstage.  Natalya and Maria fight outside.  Smith tags in and gets dropped with a Side Effect for 2.  Smith counters the Twist of Fate.  Kidd blind tags himself in.  Harts hit the springboard Hart Attack on Hardy, and Kidd gets the pin in 10:10.  Fine.

Fin.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 2/19/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Dead Man’s Watching”

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are our hosts TAPED from Kansas City, Missouri.  Tonight, Edge takes on Batista in the main event!

Chris Jericho comes out, suited up, and cuts a promo.  He talks about the things he’s accomplished, including beat The Undertaker last week.  They show the finish of last week’s match.  He says he’ll win the Elimination Chamber on Sunday and become World Champion again.  Edge comes out.  Edge reminds him that his spear did part of the damage to the Undertaker that lead to Jericho’s victory.  Jericho tells Edge to stay away from him after he wins the World Championship.  They continue to banter.  Before they can fight, the lights start flickering.  Edge spears Jericho.  Insta-commercials.

WWE Rewind: Last week, Kane and Drew McIntyre fought to a double count-out.  Then, Kane chokeslammed McIntyre.  They’ll meet for the Intercontinental Championship at Elimination Chamber.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler.  Again.  Ziggler gets it some blows early, but then Kane destroys him.  Basement big boot gets 2.  Kane continues the ass kicking.  Striker on commentary talks about the Intercontinental Championship, ignoring the fact that Kane is a 2 time champion.  Ziggler fights back, but Kane clotheslines him out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler works Kane’s arm.  He gained the advantage during the break with a drop toe hold that sent Kane’s shoulder into the barricade.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam to escape his predicament.  Kane goes up top.  McIntyre comes out to his music to distract Kane.  Ziggler clamps on the sleeper hold.  Kane gets the ropes to escape.  Ziggler goes for it again, but Kane chokeslams him for the pin (4:41 shown).  McIntyre runs in and tries to hit the double arm DDT on Kane, but Kane back body drops him.  Yeah, they had some good matches a month or two ago, but I don’t need to see Kane and Ziggler wrestle ever again.

Josh Matthews interviews Rey Mysterio.

John Morrison & R-Truth take on the Straight Edge Society TONIGHT!

Australia tour!

They show Ezekiel Jackson beating Christian to win the ECW Championship on Tuesday.  Zeke is coming soon to Smackdown!

Cryme Tyme vs. Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft.  JTG and Croft start.  JTG slides out of the ringand pulls Barreta off the apron, smacking Barreta’s face into the apron.  JTG runs wild on Croft some more.  JTG goes up top.  Barreta provides a distraction that lets Croft push JTG out of the ring.  The bad guys get heat on JTG.  Really good face in peril segment by JTG.  Shad Gaspard gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Shad press slams Barreta into a powerslam.  Croft saves.  Croft low bridges JTG out of the ring.  Shad clotheslines Croft out of the ring.  Barreta hits a missile dropkick on Shad and goes for a tornado DDT, but Shad counters into his STO for the pin in 4:55.

Antonio Inoki Hall of Fame video.

NXT commercial.

Josh Matthews interviews John Morrison.  He says he isn’t going to let a tweaked ankle keep him out of the Elimination Chamber.  R-Truth comes in and he and Morrison say whacky stuff to each other.

The Straight Edge Society comes out.  Punk his usual promo.  He does quote Star Wars this week, which rules.

Australia tour!

CM Punk & Luke Gallows (w/ Serena) vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  Punk and Morrison start.  That’s always an awesome match-up.  They do mat wrestling, which I love.  R-Truth tags in and they double team Punk.  Punk backdrops R-Truth to escape a side headlock and tags in his big bruiser, Gallows.  Truth promptly owns Gallows.  Diving cross body gets 2.  Pyro randomly goes off to distract everyone.  Commercials.  The Straight Edge Society gets the heat on R-Truth.  Gallows boots Morrison off the apron, then squashes Truth in the corner for 2.  Truth continues to get beat up.  Morrison gets the hot tag and runs wild.  KNEE TO PUNK’S FACE gets 2.  Modified Flying Chuck takes Gallows off of the apron.  Punk spears the post.  Morrison kicks at Punk, but accidentally kicks the post with the bad leg.  Punk attacks the ankle.  Referee Charles Robinson stops the match (about 8 minutes shown).  Punk attacks Morrison again.  Truth cleans his clock.  Gallows jumps Truth and gives him the choke bomb.  I guess the SES wins by referee stop.  Rey Mysterio makes the save.  He gets beaten down to.  Punk and Gallows give him a Veg-O-Matic style knee drop.

Raw Rebound.  They say Bret Hart has a broken leg.

Edge vs. Batista TONIGHT!

WWE Bullshit fact of the week.

Teddy Long is laughing at Vickie Guerrero getting cottage cheese dumped on her last week.  He and Vickie bicker.  Mickie James comes in and apologizes to Vickie.  Vickie tells her that next week, she’ll defend the Women’s Championship against Michelle McCool, with Vickie as the guest referee.

Matt Hardy, Great Khali, & Maria (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. The Hart Dynasty & Natalya.  The women start.  Natalya mauls Maria.  Maria fights back and abuses Natalya against the ropes.  Tyson Kidd tags in and goes at it with Matt Hardy.  Hardy gets 2 off a sit-out powerbomb out of the corner.  The Harts make quick tags and beat up Hardy.  Hardy hits the Side Effect on Smith and goes to tag Khali, but Smith shoves him and causes him to accidentally tag in Maria.  The guys fuck around outside as Natalya beats up Maria.  Natalya hits a discus lariat for the pin in 4:12.  Maria is mad.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Edge vs. Batista is NEXT!

Shot of Kansas City.

Matt Hardy tries to console Maria.  Michelle McCool and Layla interrupt.  They’re really fucking annoying.  Like, I wish I was a woman just so I could punch them in the face.  Matt tells them to grow up.

Batista vs. Edge.  Batista stalls and teases leaving.  Edge calls him spineless and “pulls his punk card.”  Batista comes back and they fight.  Edge hits a spinning heel kick and goes for the spear, but Batista bails to avoid it.  Insta-commercials.  Batista clips Edge’s leg.  Outside, Batista sets up a Batista Bomb on the steps, but Edge back body drops him onto the steps.  Edge comes off the apron with a clothesline.  Back inside, Edge goes for the spear again, but Batista hits the spinebuster for 2.  Edge hits the Edgecution for 2.  Edge spears Batista.  The lights go out.  Undertaker appears and chokeslams Edge.  Batista retreats before any harm can befall him.  It’s a no-contest in about 7 minutes I guess.  Undertaker poses on the stage with his pyro.  Chris Jericho appears behind Edge and drops him with the Codebreaker.  Undertaker stares at Jericho from the stage and does the throat slash.

Alright episode of Smackdown, but if you didn’t catch it, you didn’t miss anything.