Archive for Luke Gallows

WWE Superstars 11/4/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Jack Swagger (w/ The Swagger Soaring Eagle) vs. Kaval.  They lock up.  Swagger cranks Kaval’s arm.  Kaval kicks him and escapes.  Swagger beats up Kaval in the corner.  Kaval fights back.  Swagger throws him out of the ring.  Kaval slings back in as Swagger slips out and hits a dropkick and a dive.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Kaval lands a kick for 1.  Swagger connects with a knee lift that knocks Kaval to the apron, then knocks him off the apron into the barricade.  Swagger rams Kaval’s back into the barricade, then throws him back in and covers for 2.  Swagger applies sort of a chickenwing armlock.  Kaval fights out and gets booted out of the ring.  Back inside, Swagger locks Kaval in a front face lock, then hits a backbreaker.  Kaval tries to fight back, but gets cut off with another knee lift.  Swagger throws Kaval across the ring and hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Insta-commercials.  Swagger has Kaval in an abdominal stretch.  Swagger goes for a move, but Kaval lands up on top of him for 2.  Swagger goes to the apron.  Kaval knocks him off with a handspring kick.  Back inside, Kaval makes his comeback.  Kaval hits a kick to the corner for 2.  Kaval goes for a springboard, but Swagger avoids it and hits a German suplex for 2.  Swagger tries to suplex Kaval from the apron.  Kaval counters him and gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Kaval tries and fails to whip Swagger, but drops him with a koppou kick.  Kaval goes up top but Swagger cuts him off.  Kaval hits a springboard enzui leg lariat for 2.  Kaval goes to the apron again.  The eagle trips him.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win (9:51 shown).  Pretty good match.

NXT recap.

Tonight, Mark Henry vs. The Usos in a Handicap Match!

Luke Gallows vs. Vance Archer.  Archer attacks.  Gallows beats him up.  Gallows goes for a boot and gets crotched on the top rope.  Archer beats up Gallows.  Archer hits a leg drop for 2.  Archer hits a Rock Bottom ass drop thing for 2.  Archer goes up top.  Gallows pulls him down and makes his comeback.  Gallows lowers the straps and hits a big splash for 2.  Archer boots Gallows in the corner.  Gallows rallies and hits the Gallows Poll for the pin in 3:09.  Meh.

Tonight, Henry vs. Usos!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Scott Stanford and Jerry Lawler are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim.  They lock up.  They break.  They lock up again.  Fox takes Gail down with a side headlock.  Gail counters into a head scissors.  Gail hits an arm drag and works on Fox’s arm.  Fox fights out.  Gail hits a rebound cross body for 2.  Fox hits a backbreaker, then a Northern Lights suplex hold for 2.  Fox hits a back body drop.  Fox pulls Gail’s hair.  Of course.  Fox hits another backbreaker for 2.  Gail hits a powerslam or something for like 1.  Gail makes her comeback.  Fox tries to bail.  Gail throws her back in.  Fox cuts Gail off with a cheap shot.  Gail catches her with the Eat Defeat for the pin in 5:01.  Okay little match.

Henry vs. Usos TONIGHT!

Edge hype video.  He’ll face Alberto Del Rio tomorrow night on Smackdown!

Survivor Series hype.

The main event (if you can call it that) is NEXT!

They show clips of the Henry/Jey match from last week where Jimmy got involved.  Tonight, somebody gone get they ass kicked!

Handicap Match: Mark Henry vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina).  Henry wants Jimmy, but Jey jumps him from behind.  Henry kicks his ass.  Henry drags Jey to the corner to try to make him tag, but Jimmy wants none of that.  Jimmy blind tags in and jumps Henry from behind.  Jimmy beats up Henry on the ground and tries to get a pin, but that’s not happening.  The Usos double team Henry.  Henry makes his comeback on Jey.  Jey avoids getting squashed with a big splash.  Tamina takes a cheap shot at Henry.  Jey drops Henry with a kick and tags in Jimmy.  Jimmy hits the Superfly splash for the pin in 3:12.  Okay.  Henry vs. The Usos & Tamina next week?

Pretty lame show besides the first match.

Advertisements

WWE Monday Night Raw 10/18/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Smackdown GM Teddy Long comes out and says he’s taking over Raw tonight.  Cole immediately gets an email from the iBooker 9000 telling Long to get out of its ring.  Long has a referee bring out the Bragging Rights trophy that Smackdown won last year.  iBooker says “get out of my ring, or else.”  Long argues with Cole.  iBooker sends more emails.  Long says he’s disconnecting it.  YES!  Long introduces Team Smackdown: Captain Big Show, Edge, Alberto Del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, and Rey Mysterio Jr.  I’m still flabbergasted at the inclusion of Tyler Reks.  Raw Captain The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  Cole mizzes in his pants.  Miz compares the Smackdown team to smurfs.  He introduces his team: CM Punk, John Morrison, Santino Marella (seriously), Ezekiel Jackson (Yay!  Zeke is back!), and Sheamus.  Miz tells Smackdown to leave or they’ll make them leave.  Team Raw hits the ring and they brawl.  Miz ends up bailing and calls the Raw team back.  Miz tells them to save it for Sunday.  Wait, I just noticed R-Truth is missing.  He can’t enter Canada.  Show challenges Miz to a match tonight.  His teammates agree for him.  ShowMiz EXPLODES tonight!

They show highlights of the Miz/John Cena match from last week and Wade Barrett’s subsequent taunting of Cena.

Tonight, Randy Orton & John Cena vs. Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris!  Commercials.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya).  Kidd and Rhodes start.  Kidd attacks McIntyre on the apron instead.  Rhodes hits a bulldog headlock, then pounds on his face.  McIntyre tags in and beats up Kidd.  McIntyre takes Kidd outside and throws him into the barricade.  Back inside, Kidd continues to play face in peril.  Smith gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Smith hits a leg drop on McIntyre for 2.  Smith hits the running power slam, but Rhodes saves.  Kidd kicks Rhodes from the apron.  Harts set up the springboard Hart Attack.  Smith goes for the Sharpshooter instead.  They argue.  McIntyre hits Smith with the Future Shock for the pin in 3:17.  Fine little match as always.  Kidd is pissed off that Smith’s selfishness cost them the match.

John Cena comes face to face with Randy Orton in the locker room.  Orton warns Cena that he’ll kick him in the head of he gets in Orton’s way.  Cena says he’ll break Orton’s leg off if he tries it.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

R-Truth hype video.  I guess to remind people he exists, since he couldn’t be there this week.

Million Dollar Champion Goldust (w/ Aksana) vs. Zack Ryder.  Ted Dibiase Jr. and Maryse come out to watch.  Ryder beats up Goldust.  Goldust fights back and hits the spinning brainbuster for the pin in 28 seconds.  Dibiase jumps Goldust.  Maryse tries to steal the Million Dollar belt back, but Aksana grabs it and runs away.  Maryse chases her.  Dibiase gets distracted by this, so Goldust hits him with the spinning brainbuster too.

Tonight, Big Show vs. Miz!  Commercials.

WWE encourages kids to read!

Calgary… Alberta, Canada!

The Nexus are in their locker room.  John Cena comes out.  Barrett directs him to test McGillicutty and Harris tonight.  Cena asks if this means he should give it his all.  Barrett confirms this, then orders Cena to get him a glass of water.

That kid from the PSP commercials is playing Smackdown vs. Raw 2011.  He knocks out Miz using Big Show.  Miz comes in and threatens him.  Show comes in to rescue him.  The kid tells him to KO Miz tonight.  The kid’s name is Bobb’e J. Thompson.  I had to IMDB it.  What the hell kind of spelling is Bobb’e?

John Cena brings Wade Barrett his glass of water.  Barrett throws it in Cena’s face.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: The Miz/Cena match they already showed clips of tonight.

WWE Champion Randy Orton & John Cena vs. Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris.  The Nexus come out to watch from the stage.  Cena and McGillicutty lock up.  Cena kicks his ass.  Cena hits the fisherman suplex.  McGillicutty bails, selling his back.  Cena yells “That good enough for ya?” at Barrett.  Commercials.  Orton hits McGillicutty with a dropkick for 2.  Cena tags in and gets cut off by McGillicutty.  Harris tags in and beats up Cena.  Harris hits a corner splash for 2.  McGillicutty tags in and hits a DIVING PERFECT NECK SNAP for 2!  Harris tags in and hits a really half assed cross body for 2.  Harris applies a rear chin lock.  Harris slams Cena and goes for a splash, but Cena avoids it.  Orton gets the hot tag and runs wild on McGillicutty.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER, points at Barrett, and humps the mat.  Harris comes in, but Cena hits him with the Attitude Adjustment.  Orton hits McGillicutty with the RKO for the pin in 7:54.  Okay match.  Cena offers Orton a handshake.  Barrett orders him to withdraw the handshake and leave the ring.  The rest of Nexus surround Orton.  Cena looks pained.  Orton goes on the attack and gets the better of it briefly, but is soon overcome by the 4 on 1 attack.  Orton fights back, but gets mauled.  The crowd chants for Cena.  Slater hits Orton with the Zig Zag.  Otunga hits the spinebuster.  Gabriel hits the 450 splash.  Barrett orders Cena into the ring, then orders him to give Orton the Attitude Adjustment.  Cena picks Orton up, but Barrett orders him to hand Orton over.  Barrett hits the Wasteland.  Cena leaves, disgusted.  Nexus follows, pleased.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^ happened.

Vickie Guerrero comes out, because the Wrestling Gods hate me.  She introduces her man, WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler babbles for a while.  WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan comes out to insult them.  He busts out an “If I can be serious for a minute…” since they’re in Calgary.  Bryan challenges Ziggler to a match at Bragging Rights.  Ziggler accepts, then challenges him to fight RIGHT NOW!  He slaps Bryan.  Vickie gets between them.  Bryan darts around her, tackles Ziggler out of the ring, and kicks his ass.  Awesome!  Bryan locks Ziggler in the LeBell Lock.  Eve Torres, The Bella Twins, Melina, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly come out and surround Vickie.  They dump red glitter on her.  Vickie runs away.  Yay!  Bryan dances with the divas.  LOL!  He tries to do the splits and hurts his balls, then dances with the hot women some more.  Awesome segment.

Show vs. Miz TONIGHT!  Commercials.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox.  They lock up and push each other against the ropes.  Referee forces a break.  Fox slaps Natalya a bunch, then kicks her in the face.  Natalya makes her comeback and locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 1:03.  Unified WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla come out, because there haven’t been enough obnoxious bitches on my TV in the past 10 minutes.  They insult Canada and the Harts, then jump Natalya.  McCool locks Natalya in the Sharpshooter while Layla takes pictures.  Natalya counters and tries to put Layla in the Sharpshooter.  McCool pulls Layla out of the ring.  At least they put somebody from Calgary over tonight.

They show CM Punk destroying Evan Bourne last week.

Teddy Long and Big Show are backstage with Hornswoggle.  Josh Matthews shows up ask him stupid questions.  Long reveals that the whole Smackdown roster is there: Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio Jr., Edge, Kaval, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Curt Hawkins, Luke Gallows, Chris Masters, JTG, The Dudebusters,Vance Archer, and MVP.  Commercials.

“What WWE is all about” video package with celebrity testimonials.  Take that, Democrats!  Go to WWE.com to stand up for WWE!

John Cena runs into Wade Barrett backstage.  Barrett says he’s not finished with Cena yet.

Show vs. Miz is NEXT!

Justin Roberts introduces tonight’s guest star, Bobb’e J. Thompson.  He’s obnoxious for a bit, then introduces Big Show.

The Big Show (w/ Hornswoggle, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Edge, Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio Jr., Kaval, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Luke Gallows, JTG, Chris Masters, WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre, & Montel Vontavious Porter) vs. The Miz (w/ Alex Riley, Sheamus, CM Punk, Mark Henry, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, William Regal, Vladimir Kozlov, Ted Dibiase Jr., Primo, WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino Marella, & John Morrison).  Show beats up Miz.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Miz fights him off and throws him outside.  Show attacks some Raw guys.  Teddy Long comes out and orders a Smackdown vs. Raw Battle Royal RIGHT NOW!  So the match is a no-contest in about a minute.  Commercials.

Battle Royal featuring The Big Show, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Edge, Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio Jr., Kaval, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Luke Gallows, JTG, Chris Masters, WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre, Montel Vontavious Porter, The Miz, Alex Riley, Sheamus, CM Punk, Mark Henry, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, William Regal, Vladimir Kozlov, Ted Dibiase Jr., Primo, WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino Marella, and John Morrison.  Raw vs. Smackdown!  Everybody brawls.  An Uso and JTG get eliminated.  Riley gets eliminated.  Hornswoggle attacks Michael Cole at ringside and takes his headset.  I’m pretty sure this is an upgrade.  MVP got eliminated.  Masters gets eliminated.  Henry eliminates Tyler Reks.  Show, Gallows, and Rhodes eliminate Henry.  Morrison backdrops Chavo out of the ring.  Regal gets eliminated.  Primo got eliminated, according to Lawler.  Kozlov gets eliminated.  Santino gets eliminated.  Gallows gets eliminated.  Morrison and Del Rio fight on the turnbuckles.  They both fall off and get eliminated.  Swagger, Dibiase, and Punk get eliminated by Edge.  Swagger pulls Edge out of  the ring and puts him in the ankle lock.  They’re teammates!  Zeke eliminates Mysterio, then both Rhodes and McIntyre.  It’s down to Sheamus, Bryan, and Zeke vs. Big Show.  Where did Miz go?  Show eliminates Bryan.  Miz is hiding outside.  Zeke and Sheamus hit a double suplex on Show.  Zeke and Sheamus double team Show.  Show eliminates Zeke.  Miz sneaks in.  He and Sheamus try to eliminate Show.  Edge comes back in and spears Sheamus.  Show eliminates Miz.  Edge clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.  Show and Edge win in 8:31.  What a mess.  I really hope I successfully identified everyone in here.

Cut to the Nexus locker room.  Barrett wants to practice being crowned WWE Champion.  He orders Cena to raise his hand.  Cena does, then leaves.  Barrett smiles.  Fade to black.

I like battle royals and all, but that one was a real mess.  Besides that, this was a pretty fun show.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 9/24/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Kane has a challenge for The Undertaker!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Kane vs. Chris Masters.  Kane grabs a side headlock and lands a shoulder block for 2.  Kane grabs his headlock again.  Masters tries to fight out, so Kane nails him.  Masters manages to drop Kane with a swinging neckbreaker and a diving shoulder block.  Masters locks in the Master Lock.  Kane backs him into the corner three times to break it.  Masters hammers him with chops and punches.  Kane kicks Masters’ knee out from under him.  Kane beats up Masters for a while and works his knee.  Kane hits the basement big boot for 2.  Masters fights back, staggers Kane with an elbow smash, and dives at him.  Kane catches him mid-air with a punch, then grounds & pounds him.  Kane hits the chokeslam and the Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 6:07.  Okay little TV match here.  Kane takes the mic and cuts another wacky Kane promo, going out amongst the people.  He says he’s going to issue a challenge to The Undertaker later tonight.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre (c) vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya).  Wasn’t this match supposed to be on Raw next week?  Aren’t the Harts Raw guys?  I digress.  McIntyre and Smith lock up.  McIntyre pounds on Smith in the corner.  Smith hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Kidd tags in and the Harts double team McIntyre.  McIntyre bails and Kidd hits him with a baseball slide headscissors.  Insta-commercials.  McIntyre drops Smith with a boot.  Smith hits him with a jawbreaker.  Rhodes tags in and cuts off Smith from making the tag.  Rhodes beats up Smith.  McIntyre tags in and Pearl Harbors Smith.  Smith drops McIntyre.  Rhodes tags back in and cuts off Smith again, locking him in a rear chin lock.  Smith stands up and drops Rhodes with an electric chair drop.  McIntyre and Kidd tag in.  Kidd runs wild.  Dropkick to the head gets 2.  Kidd hits a springboard Blockbuster, but Rhodes saves.  Smith throws Rhodes out of the ring.  McIntyre drops Smith with a boot.  McIntyre exposes the turnbuckle pad and sends Kidd into it, then hits the Future Shock for the pin (4:36 shown).  Fine little match.

The Undertaker sits in a dark stairwell.

Alberto Del Rio taunts an injured Christian.  He apparently attacked Christian from behind in the parking lot because he’s a big smelly vagina.

Raw Rebound.

Hell In A Cell hype.

CM Punk is in the locker room getting ready.  Luke Gallows comes in.  Punk tells him to leave, that he’s done with him.  Gallows chokes Punk and pushes him against the wall.  Gallows says Punk has no right to pass judgment or think he’s better than anybody.  The video cuts to the next scene before the segment is over.  Weird.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Kaval.  Oh fuck yes!  They start to do a knuckle lock, but Chavo lands a cheap kick.  Kaval comes back and awesomely lands lots of wacky kicks.  Kaval locks in the Dragon Clutch on the ropes briefly, then takes a bump to the floor.  Chavo whips him into the barricade, then picks him up and drops him across it.  Back inside, Chavo hits the Eddie hilo for 2.  Chavo locks Kaval in a waist lock, then Irish whips him.  Kaval catches him with a shot and makes his awesome comeback.  Kaval hits the Tidal Wave for 2.  Chavo hits the Three Amigos, with a brainbuster on the last one.  He goes for the frog splash, but Kaval avoids it and hits a running dropkick for 2, as Chavo gets a foot on the ropes.  Kaval hits Chavo with a koppou kick in the corner, then goes for a Frankensteiner off the top.  Chavo holds into the ropes to avoid it, then hits the frog splash for the pin in 4:26.  Good little match.  Kaval looked great here.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio comes out to talk.  They once again show him injuring Rey Mysterio Jr.  He says Mysterio will be back on Smackdown next week and he’s going to kiss him on the cheek.  Yeah, that’s what he said.  Christian comes out and beats up Del Rio.  Ricardo Rodriguez comes in and grabs Christian’s leg to let Del Rio get the advantage.  Del Rio locks Christian in the cross armbreaker, then puts a chair on the arm and rams it into the ring post.  Christian is going to be out for 4-6 months due to injury, which kills a good bit of my interest in this show.

The Undertaker is still sitting in a dark stairwell.  He looks tired and/or hurt.

Handicap Match: Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs. The Big Show.  Hawkins starts.  Show destroys him.  Hawkins avoids Show in the corner and leaps at him.  Show kills him with a chop in mid-air.  Archer tags in.  Show takes him down and locks him in a camel clutch for the submission win in 1:15.  Fun squash.

Josh Matthews interviews Jack Swagger, who show off his football jerseys.  The Dudebusters and Hornswoggle steal them while his back is turned.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

CM Punk vs. Luke Gallows.  Gallows is pissed.  Punk tries to avoid his blows, but ends up getting caught and getting his ass kicked.  Gallows hits a flapjack on Punk and throws him around.  Punk rolls to the apron.  Gallows pulls him up, but Punk pulls Gallows across the top rope.  Punk hits the springboard lariat, then clamps on a front face lock.  Gallows lifts Punk.  Punk goes for a sunset flip, but doesn’t get it.  Punk hits a move for 2.  Punk lands some kicks.  Gallows boots Punk in the face and gets rolling.  Gallows hits a short lariat and the big splash for 2.  Punk avoids Gallows in the corner and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 3:35.  Fun little match.

The Undertaker is still just hanging out in a dark stairwell.

Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlyn come out.  Argh.  Vickie is obnoxious.  She has MASSIVE heat.  She introduces her man, WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.

Non-Title: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Kaitlyn) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Part of MVP’s entrance is edited out.  This show is weirdly edited.  They lock up and MVP shines.  Ziggler bails and interacts with Kaitlyn.  Vickie gets mad.  Ziggler goes back in and beats up MVP.  MVP hits a fireman carry into a press slam, then knocks Ziggler out of the ring.  Kaitlyn checks on him.  Vickie bitches at her.  Kaitlyn tires of this shit, shoves Vickie on her ass, and leaves.  Vickie whins and leaves.  Insta-commercials.  Ziggler avoids the corner Yakuza kick and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler puts the boots to MVP.  Ziggler hits some elbow drops for 2.  Ziggler applies a chin & shoulder lock with body scissors.  MVP fights out.  Ziggler clubbers him some more.  MVP avoids Ziggler in the corner and makes his comeback.  MVP goes for the Playmaker, but Ziggler counters and schoolboys him for 2.  MVP hits an Exploder for 2.  MVP hits the Yakuza kick in the corner for 2, as Ziggler gets a foot on the rope to save himself.  Ziggler pulls MVP across the top rope and goes for the Zig Zag, but MVP holds onto the rope to avoid it.  MVP goes for the Ballin’ elbow, but Ziggler bails.  Ziggler grabs his belt and leaves.  MVP wins by count-out (7:44 shown).  Okay match.  The announcers flip flop on whether or not it was a title match.  It wasn’t announced as such, so just assume the announcers are idiots.

Rosa Mendez is jumping rope backstage.  The Dudebusters take her jump rope and put it in a box that they hand off to Hornswoggle, who is loading a truck.  See, despite the fact that they’re mostly in a different venue every week, they only have to move anything when the show is going to be airing on a different channel.  And Hornswoggle and The Dudebusters have been demoted to movers.  Vickie Guerrero comes in looking for Kaitlyn.  They lock her in the moving truck.  Heh.

The Undertaker continues to sit in his dark stairwell.  Someone opens a door.  Taker feels something, stands up, and rolls his eyes back.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out.  He cuts a promo against a backdrop of red lighting and weird music.  He challenges Undertaker to a Hell In A Cell Match at the PPV.  The GONG sounds.  Druids come out with a casket.  Kane opens the casket.  PAUL BEARER IS IN THE CASKET!  HE HAS THE URN!  The lights go out and come back on to reveal The Undertaker in the ring.  Taker kicks Kane’s ass.  THE URN GAVE UNDERTAKER HIS POWERS BACK!  Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Kane bails and runs away.  Taker does the old school “reach for the urn” pose.  Kane screams “No!” as the show ends.

Fun show this week.

WWE Superstars 9/16/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.  Tonight, MVP takes on Luke Gallows!  That’s gonna be a barn burner.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina).  Santino goofs off with one of the Usos and gets taken down with a leg sweep.  He yells “That’s my move!” and tags in Kozlov.  Both Usos are wearing short tights this week, so I can’t tell them apart.  One of the Usos argues with Santino, who distracts the referee, allowing the Usos to get the jump on Kozlov.  Usos beat up Kozlov for a while.  Santino gets the tag, gets cut off, and gets beaten up by the Usos.  Santino gets one of them in a heel hook, but the Uso makes the tag.  The other Uso locks Santino in a shoulder hold.  Insta-commercials.  The Uso suplexes Santino for 2.  Kozlov gets the tag and runs wild.  Kozlov hits a powerslam, but the other Uso saves, then low bridges Santino out of the ring.  Kozlov sends him out, then hits the other Uso (the one with the crucifx tattoo) with the Iron Curtain for the pin (5:41 shown).  Nothing to see here.  Tamina wants Santino to show her how to do the Cobra.  He does so as they play snake charmer music.  Tamina hypnotizes him with her cobra, then he sucks her fingers.  Weird.

NXT recap.  More stupidity.

Great Khali vs. Primo (w/ AJ).  Primo throws some ineffective leg kicks.  Khali catches his leg and drops him, then beats up him slow, plodding big man style.  Primo bails and tries to jump Khali from behind.  Primo manages to counter the choke bomb and lands a bunch of ineffective blows.  Khali makes his comeback, then hits the choke bomb for the pin in 3:05.  Again, nothing to see here.  This show is off to a very poor start.

MVP vs. Gallows tonight!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Randy Orton hype video.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are now the announcers, so Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Kane/Undertaker history video.  Ugh.

Grisham and Striker hype the Night of Champions card.

MVP comes out for the main event, which is NEXT!

Luke Gallows comes out for the match with MVP.  Gallows cuts a promo before the match about how he’s his own man now.  He’ll be gone in the next round of cuts.  MVP retorts with a rap.  He tells Gallows to lighten up and offers him a makeover, starting with a nickname: LG.  That’s uncreative.  He says people in the locker room call Gallows big dummy.  They finally start the damn match.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Luke Gallows.  They lock up.  Gallows beats up MVP.  MVP lands some punches, then hits a drop toe hold and a knee to the back of the head for 2.  MVP Yakuza kicks Gallows out of the ring.  Insta-commercials.  MVP has Gallows in a cravat.  Gallows fights out and backdrops MVP to the apron, then knocks him off with a big kick.  Gallows follows MVP outside and shoves him into the barricade, then throws him back inside.  Gallows hit some elbow drops for 1.  Gallows hits a suplex for 1.  Gallows keeps the heat on MVP.  MVP fights back, but gets mowed down with a big boot.  Gallows hits a big splash for 2.  Gallows hits a splash in the corner for 2.  Gallows does that move I call a stranglehold because I have no better name for it.  It’s the hold where the guy chokes the other guy with his own crossed arms.  MVP fights out.  Gallows hits an over the shoulder powerslam for 2.  Gallows goes for MVP’s Ballin’ elbow, but MVP gets his knees up and makes his comeback.  MVP hits an Exploder and the Playmaker for the pin (6:51 shown).  Mediocre match.  MVP helps Gallows up.  Gallows tries to cheap shot him, but MVP ducks and hits the Paydirt at the Ballin’ elbow.

Sadly, this ends a string of very good Superstars episodes.  Nothing at all worth seeing this week.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 9/10/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video recapping recent goings on, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.  Tonight, The Undertaker takes on CM Punk!

The Undertaker appears in the ring and cuts a promo about Kane.  He wants a No Holds Barred Match at Night of Champions.  CM Punk comes out.  He mockingly puts Taker over, then says Kane will take him out at the PPV.  They banter for a while about who has more power and stuff.  Undertaker says Punk will Rest In Peace.  They’ll meet TONIGHT!

Jack Swagger vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  They show the stupid segment from last week with Swagger’s daddy.  Swagger takes MVP down and hits him with some cross faces.  MVP comes back and hits a float over suplex into ground & pound punches.  MVP knocks Swagger out of the ring.  Back inside, MVP goes for Rolling Germans.  Swagger counters the third, but gets taken down with a drop toe hold.  MVP hits a running knee to the back of Swagger’s head for 2.  Swagger hits a lariat and gets back on offense.  Insta-commercials.  MVP fights back, but gets mowed down with a big boot.  Swagger goes for the springboard Vader Bomb, but MVP gets his knees up.  MVP hits the corner Yakuza kick for 2.  MVP hits a flapjack and some clotheslines, then a knee facebuster and the Ballin’ elbow.  MVP gets ready to go for the finish, but Swagger bails.  MVP follows and Swagger dropkicks the steps into his knees.  Swagger rams MVP’s leg into the post.  Back inside, Swagger takes out the leg again and locks in the ankle lock for the win (5:39 shown).  Fine match.

WWE Women’s Champion Layla and Michelle McCool are obnoxious while Kaval looks on.  His face says “I’m so sick of these broads.”  They argue about who will face Melina at Night of Champions.  He basically tells them to shut it and they make fun of his stern face and deep voice.

Next, the history of the Kane/Undertaker feud.  That could take the rest of the show.

Baltimore.

As threatened, they show a Kane/Undertaker history package.

Tonight, Undertaker vs. Punk!

Matt Hardy is in action NEXT!

Tony Chimel introduces Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez.  Del Rio makes his entrance as they show the segment from last week where Christian interrupted his fiesta.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Matt Hardy.  They lock up.  Hardy backs Del Rio into the corner.  The referee gets between them and Del Rio cheap shots Hardy’s injured ankle.  Hardy hits a bulldog headlock for 2.  Hardy side steps Del Rio, who sails to the ropes to the floor.  Hardy slides through the ropes with a dropkick.  Hardy rams Del Rio’s head into the apron, then rolls him back into the ring.  Del Rio lands an enzuigiri that knocks Hardy off the apron.  Insta-commercials.  Del Rio cranks on a rear chin lock.  Whoda thunk it?  Del Rio works Hardy over.  Del Rio hits a spinebuster for 2, then goes back to the rear chin lock.  Hardy gets a sunset flip for 2.  Del Rio drops him with a clothesline for 2.  Del Rio hits a body slam for 2.  Back again to the rear chin lock.  Hardy fights back and hits the Side Effect for 2.  Del Rio blocks a bulldog and kicks Hardy in the midsection.  Hardy hits a Final Cut for 2.  Hardy slams Del Rio and hits a moonsault press for 2.  Del Rio counters the Twist of Fate and shoves Hardy into the turnbuckles.  Del Rio goes up top, but Hardy cuts him off.  They fight on top.  Del Rio pulls Hardy down across the top rope by his arm.  Del Rio throws Hardy’s shoulder into the post, then locks in the Minoru Special for the win (7:53 shown).  Good little match.  Del Rio wants to further injure Hardy, but Christian runs down to run him off.  Del Rio says Christian will pay for this.

The same fucking long Legendary video package they’ve wasted my time with on every fucking show this week.

Undertaker vs. Punk TONIGHT!

Drew McIntyre vs. Kaval.  They lock up.  Striker mentions Kaval as having a “low key” demeanor.  Heh.  Kaval lands a hard kick.  McIntyre tries to beat him up, but Kaval gets the advantage with his educated feet.  Kaval lands a hard slap and tries to springboard, but McIntyre knocks him to the floor.  McIntyre suplexes Kaval onto the ring apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  McIntyre applies a neck and shoulder hold.  McIntyre goes for a suplex, but Kaval knees his way free and lands some kicks.  McIntyre elevates Kaval,who balances himself on the top rope and lands a diving kick for 2.  Kaval goes up top, but McIntyre bails.  Kaval goes for a rana off the apron, but McIntyre catches him and powerbombs him into the barricade.  Back inside, McIntyre hits the Future Shock for the pin in 3:57.  Great little TV match.  Kaval looked awesome here.  Kaval sells it like death.  Layla and McCool come out to help him to the back.

Cody Rhodes gives grooming tips about facials.  LOL.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be obnoxious.  She makes her NXT rookie, Kaitlyn, introduce her.  Vickie then introduces Dolph Ziggler.

WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler & Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Kaitlyn) vs. Kofi Kingston & Chris Masters.  Ziggler will face Kofi for the title at the PPV and can lose the title by DQ or count-out.  Ziggler tries to take Masters down, but Masters overpowers him.  Masters hits a press slam for 2.  Chavo tags in.  Masters immediately goes for the Master Lock, but Chavo gets to the ropes.  Masters decks Ziggler on the apron.  Chavo decks Masters to get the advantage.  Ziggler tags back in to work over Masters.  Masters kicks free of Ziggler and takes in Kofi, who runs wild on Ziggler.  Grisham pisses me off again by not knowing what a Superman punch is.  Kofi does the corner punches, then gets kicked in the face.  Double clothesline spot.  Chavo tags in, but the idiot ref didn’t see it even though they’re the heels.  Kofi hits Ziggler with the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 2:47.  Good little match while it lasted.  I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen a ref being out of position fuck the heels.

Undertaker vs. Punk TONIGHT!

Grisham and Striker hype the Night of Champions card.

The Big Show pretends to be Josh Matthews and interviews himself.  Kelly Kelly shows up and makes fun of him for being silly.  Matthews shows up looking for his microphone.  Show makes Kelly smell his armpit.  Silly segment.

The Straight Edge Society come out… but Punk sends Gallows and Mercury to the back.  What was the point of them coming out, then?

CM Punk vs. The Undertaker.  Punk is cocky, thinking Undertaker isn’t what he used to be.  Punk lands some leg kicks.  Undertaker drops him with a big right hand.  Taker works Punk’s arm.  Leg drop to the arm gets 2.  Taker keeps putting the pressure on Punk’s arm.  He goes for Old School, but falls and crotches himself on the top rope.  Punk dropkicks Taker off the apron.  Insta-commercials.  Punk beats up Taker’s arm and asks “How do you like it?”  Punk applies a figure-four headscissors and grinds his elbow into Taker’s head.  Punk starts throwing elbows and Taker escapes.  Punk knocks Taker out of the ring again.  Punk drives Taker into the barricade.  Taker fights back and knocks Punk down and an elbow smash.  Taker hits the apron leg drop, which I always pop for.  Back inside, Punk avoids Taker in the corner and hits a dropkick for 2.  Punk works the arm again.  Punk lands some MMA elbows for 2, then applies a rear chin lock.  Taker hits a backdrop suplex to escape.  Punk avoids an elbow drop and hits the running knee to the corner and the bulldog for 2.  They trade strikes.  Taker gets the better of it.  Taker hits Snake Eyes and goes for the running boot, but Punk drops him with a kick.  Punk goes for the springboard lariat, but Taker catches him and hits the chokeslam for 2.  Taker goes for the Tombstone.  Punk counters and hits the Go 2 Sleep.  Punk crawls over for the cover, but Taker catches him in the Hell’s Gate for the submission win (11:23 shown).  Awesome match.  As Taker celebrates, Kane’s music plays and Kane laughs.  I’m so sick of that laugh.

Fucking awesome show this week.  No bad matches and an awesome main event.  There were a few stupid things, but nothing bad enough to take away from the show.

WWE Superstars 9/9/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the first announcers.  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.  Tonight, The Big Show takes on Luke Gallows!

R-Truth vs. William Regal.  Regal tells R-Truth that anyone can rap and proves it by rapping himself.  It’s awesome.  The match starts and the crowd chants “USA!”  They lock up.  Regal backs Truth in to the corner and nails him with a forearm.  Truth retaliates with punches, then takes him down with a side headlock.  They do a tiny bit of sweet wrestling, but Truth wants to brawl.  He hits Regal with a crappy monkey flip.  Truth hits Regal with corner punches, then hits a clothesline for 2.  Regal lands a European uppercut.  Truth dances around and drops Regal with a kick.  Regal bails.  Insta-commercials.  Regal holds Truth in a full nelson, having gained the advantage during the break.  Truth fights out and tries a sunset flip, but Regal knees him in the head.  Regal sets out to maul and stretch a fucker.  They trade shots.  Truth mounts a comeback.  Regal avoids the scissors kick and gets an inside cradle, but Truth turns it over to get the pin (5:00 shown).  Good little match.

NXT recap.  Here’s my recap: It was the worst thing to ever happen ever.

Goldust, Gail Kim, and Aksana are headed our way!

Goldust & Gail Kim (w/ Aksana) vs. Primo & Jillian Hall (w/ AJ).  Goldust and Primo start.  Goldust hits a butt butt and catapults Primo into the ropes, then tags in Gail.  Jillian comes in and Gail beats her up.  Primo comes in and Gail hits him with a missile dropkick.  Primo and Jillian try to double team Gail, but Goldust pulls Primo out of the ring.  The referee decides to be an idiot and bitch at Goldust for no good reason, so he doesn’t see Gail cover Jillian.  Primo cheap shots Gail to let Jillian get the advantage.  Jillian works Gail’s hair.  I hate that shit.  Jillian beats up Gail.  Jillian goes for a powerbomb, but Gail turns it into a hurricanrana.  The men tag in and Goldust runs wild.  Goldust hits a bulldog for 2.  Goldust hits the snap powerslam, but Jillian saves.  Jillian slaps Goldust.  Gail hits Jillian with the Eat Defeat.  Primo goes for the Backstabber, but Goldust counters and hits the spinning brainbuster for the pin in 4:36.  Fine little match.

Tonight, Show vs. Gallows!

WWE.com plug.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the second announcers.  Tony Chimel is the second ring announcer.

Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer vs. The Dudebusters.  Do we really need to see this match again?  Archer and Croft start.  Archer wails on Croft.  Hawkins tags in to continue the beating.  Hawkins hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Archer tags back in and hits a short lariat for 2.  Archer hits a belly to belly overhead for 2.  Archer works a rear chin lock.  Croft escapes with a jawbreaker.  Croft makes the hot tag to Barreta, who runs wild.  Barreta hits a running knee, but Hawkins saves.  Croft cleans Hawkins’ clock.  Archer nails Croft.  Barreta goes for a diving cross body, but gets caught.  Croft knocks Archer off balance, allowing Barreta to hit a spinning DDT for the pin in 3:49.  Fine little match.

Show vs. Gallows TONIGHT!

Kane hype video.

Legendary plug.  I’m so fucking sick of that movie.

Grisham and Striker hype the Night of Champions card.

Luke Gallows and Joey Mercury of the Straight Edge Society come out.  They show the handicap match from last Smackdown where Big Show beat Gallows and CM Punk, then Punk gave Gallows the Go 2 Sleep.  Gallows cuts a promo.

Luke Gallows (w/ Joey Mercury) vs. The Big Show.  Gallows tries to kick Show, but Show catches his leg and chops him.  Show just beats the crap out of him, not allowing him to get anything going.  Gallows bails and Show hits a baseball slide dropkick, of all things.  Show hits Gallows with more big chops.  Back inside, Gallows manages to land a boot and tries to get something going.  Show cuts him off immediately and kicks his ass some more.  Show lands the KO punch for the pin in 2:12.  Fun little squash.  Show takes the mic after the match and says he’s going to rid WWE of the SES.  Good.

Fun show this week.  Another in a string of good Superstars.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 9/3/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video package of this Undertaker/Kane angle that just won’t die, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the announcers TAPED from Albany, New York.  Tonight, Kane will announce something.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.  The ring is set up for a celebration, complete with servants.  They show the video of Del Rio injuring Rey Mysterio last week.  Del Rio talks shit about Mysterio, then smashes a pinata.  Christian comes out and makes a bunch of jokes at Del Rio’s expense, then reveals that he’s pissed off because Del Rio is a dick.  They banter.  Christian wants to fight.  Del Rio teases obliging, then leaves because he is a big pussy in addition to being a big dick.  Drew McIntyre attacks Christian from behind and sends him outside so Del Rio can taunt him.

During the break, Drew McIntyre threw Christian into the steps.

Drew McIntyre vs. Christian.  Christian still wants to fight, so they fight.  McIntyre throws him around and beats him up, targeting his injured midsection.  McIntyre says Christian should have given up.  Christian fires some palm strikes.  McIntyre locks him in a bear hug.  McIntyre comes off the top, but Christian catches him in the face with raised boots.  Christian tries to make his comeback.  He goes for a diving cross body, but McIntyre catches him and hits a backbreaker for 2.  Outside, McIntyre tries to set up something on the announce table, but Christian trips him on the table.  Back inside, Christian goes for the Killswitch.  McIntyre counters with a gut buster.  Christian surprises McIntyre with a jackknife hold for the pin in 4:14.  Fine little match.

Tonight, Big Show vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows!

WWE.com plug.

Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool (w/ WWE Women’s Champion Layla).  Layla does commentary.  Striker is obnoxious.  McCool beats up Kelly and does push-ups.  Kelly hits a spinning headscissors and makes her comeback.  Kelly tries a Frankensteiner, but McCool hits the Styles Clash for the pin in 2:17.  Usual diva crap.

Tonight, Kane announces something.

China clips.

Teddy Long and Hornswoggle are backstage with a psychologist.  They’re trying to get Hornswoggle to speak English.  The psychologist wants to do shock treatment.  Long talks Hornswoggle into it.  Stupidity ensues.  Hornswoggle shocks the doctor.  Long and Hornswoggle leave the doctor to fry.  Ugh.

Non-Title: Chris Masters vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Last week, Kofi Kingston got fucked out of the title by that hog yet again.  Ziggler beats up Masters.  Masters rallies and press slams Ziggler.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker against the middle rope for 2.  Ziggler attacks Masters’ neck, then hits an jumping elbow drop for 2.  Masters catapults Ziggler intot he turnbuckles.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but Ziggler climbs the turnbuckles and falls back to break it.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin in 2:04.  It was what it was.

The Big Show is headed our way!

Handicap Match: The Big Show vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows (w/ Joey Mercury).  They show Show making fun of and beating up the Straight Edge Society on Raw.  Show shadow boxes in Punk’s direction.  Punk throws some leg kicks, then tags in Gallows.  Show takes Gallows down, then nails him with the heavy chop.  Gallows fights back, but Show nails him with an elbow smash.  Gallows bails and confers with Mercury.  Show gives Mercury the Vulcan nerve pinch.  Punk hits Show with a baseball slide dropkick, then throws some forearms.  Show headbutts him, then lays him on the apron and goes for a chop.  Punk moves and Show chops the apron.  Gallows nails Show from behind.  Show makes it back and Hulks up.  Punk avoids Show in the corner and goes for a springboard clothesline, but Show catches him with a clothesline of his own.  Show covers, but Gallows saves.  Punk bails.  Show follows and charges, but Punk moves and Show runs into the steps.  Insta-commercials.  Punk puts the boots to Show.  Gallows tags in and drops some elbows.  Gallows hits a pair of big splashes for 2.  Show slams Gallows to escape a rear chin lock.  Show makes his comeback on Gallows, shoves him into Punk to knock Punk off of the apron, then hits the Alley Oop and locks Gallows in the camel clutch for the win (6:42 shown).  This was mediocre.  Punk, tired of repeated failures, gives Gallows the Go 2 Sleep.

Tonight, Kane announces something!

Jack Swagger and his daddy are in the ring for the V.I.P. Lounge, which Swagger won the right to host last week.  Why does Swagger need to host MVP’s talk show?  Why can’t he just do his own?  They let anybody have one that wants it.  They show clips of the stupid match with MVP from last week.  Swagger’s guest is his daddy.  Daddy asks Jackie to do push-ups.  He does.  MVP comes out.  What the fuck took him so long?  He makes fun of this stupidity.  He and Swagger banter.  MVP says the V.I.P. lounge is closed, then knocks shit over.  Swagger hides behind his daddy’s wheelchair.  MVP gives daddy the Paydirt, then low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  MVP gives daddy the Ballin’ elbow, then throws the wheelchair at Swagger.  Retarded shit.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Matt Hardy vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes cuts a promo on the way to the ring about how Hardy actually likes like a man instead of an ugly girl like him, because that’s what’s attractive to women these days, apparently.  Hardy takes Rhodes’ ring jacket.  The match finally starts.  Hardy beats up Rhodes.  Rhodes bails.  Insta-commercials.  Rhodes beats up Hardy.  Hardy hits the Side Effect for 2.  Hardy beats up Rhodes on the outside, then back inside.  Hardy works Rhodes’ knee.  Hardy applies a half crab.  Rhodes takes forever to reach the ropes when they’re like 4 inches in front of his face.  Hardy beats up Rhodes some more.  Rhodes comes back and tries a superplex or something, but Hardy headbutts him down and goes for a diving elbow smash.  Rhodes avoids it and Hardy re-injures his ankle.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin (4:16 shown).  This was lame.

Kane announces something NEXT!

World Heavyweight Champion Kane’s music plays, but he doesn’t come out.  He’s in his creepy weird promo cutting place backstage.  He says he’ll defend the title against Undertaker at Night of Champions.  He talks on for a while.  Druids bring a casket to ringside.  Stupid video effects.  Kane is in the casket.  A swerve that Russo would be proud of.  Kane keeps cutting his promo.  I zone out like I do with every single one of these long, retarded Kane promos.  Undertaker comes out to the ring.  The lights go out.  Kane disappears.  Undertaker looks in the casket, but it’s empty.  Kane is back in his weird room.  He says he’ll destroy Taker at Night of Champions, then laughs.  Pyro.  Fin.  I hate this show.

Aside from a couple of tolerable segments at the beginning, this show fucking sucked.