Archive for Lucky Cannon

WWE NXT 8/31/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 5, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Season 2 recap video, NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.

Ashley Valence introduces the Pros: Montel Vontavious Porter, Zack Ryder, John Morrison, Mark Henry, and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  That covers the Pros of guys who have been eliminated.  WWE United States Champion The Miz introduces his rookie, Alex Riley.  WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool introduce Kaval.  Kofi Kingston introduces Michael McGillicutty.  The finalists and their Pros are in the ring with Matt Striker.  Striker introduces the previously eliminated rookies: Titus O’Neil, Eli Cottonwood, Lucky Cannon, Percy Watson, and Husky Harris.  Striker says the finalists will meet in a Triple Threat Match NXT!  Miz gets in Kaval’s face.  Kaval shoves him and a brawl breaks out.  Kaval, Kofi, and McGillicutty send Miz and Riley outside.

Next season will be all divas.  Well, I never need to watch this show again.

Season 3 intro: Kelly Kelly is Pro to Naomi Knight.

Triple threat match is NXT!  Commercials.

Triple Threat Match: Alex Riley (w/ WWE United States Champion The Miz) vs. Kaval (w/ WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool) vs. Michael McGillicutty (w/ Kofi Kingston).  Kaval and McGillicutty knock down Riley and fight each other.  Kaval hits a running kick for 2.  Kaval stomps Riley in the corner.  McGillicutty hits Kaval with a dropkick for 2.  McGillicutty hits Riley with a clothesline for 2.  McGillicutty hits Riley with a backbreaker, but Kaval saves.  Kaval drops McGillicutty with a hard stomach kick.  Riley beats up Kaval.  McGillicutty wakes up and beats up Kaval.  McGillicutty suplexes Kaval to the floor.  Riley knocks McGillicutty to the floor.  Commercials.  Riley holds McGillicutty in a chin lock.  Kaval breaks it with a kick.  Riley hits McGillicutty with a clothesline for 2.  Cole high fives Miz.  Riley misses a charge and hits the ropes chest first.  McGillicutty makes a comeback on Riley.  McGillicutty hits a belly to belly suplex, but Kaval saves.  Kaval makes a comeback on McGillicutty and hits the Tidal Wave for 2.  Kaval hits the Tidal Crush on Riley to knock him off of the top rope.  McGillicutty nails Kaval from behind for 2.  Kaval locks McGillicutty in the Bite of the Dragon (Dragon sleeper).  McGillicutty escapes and hits the Perfect Plex(!), but Riley pulls him off.  McGillicutty kicks Riley into the announce table.  Kaval drops McGillicutty with the koppou kick and goes up top, but Riley pushes him to the floor and covers McGillicutty for the pin in 10:25.  Good little match.  Miz and Riley celebrate.

Season 3 intro: Alicia Fox is Pro to Maxine.

The Pros huddle.  The first elimination is NXT!  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Season 3 intro: Goldust is Pro to Aksana.

Albany, New York!

Matt Striker asks the previously eliminated rookies who they think should win.  Titus O’Neil and Eli Cottonwood say Riley.  Lucky Cannon says it doesn’t matter because the show went down the toiler when he was eliminated.  Percy Watson and Husky Harris say McGillicutty.  It’s time for the elimination!  Alex Riley is gone.  HAHA!  Riley cuts his farewell promo and says we should still bet the future of WWE on him.

Season 3 intro: The Bella Twins are Pros to Jamie Keyes.  The ring announcer.  Yes, the Bellas are going to teach the horrible ring announcer how to wrestle.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

China clips.

Season 3 intro: Primo is Pro to AJ Lee.

Striker has Kaval and Michael McGillicutty in the ring.  He directs them to cut promos on each other.  McGillicutty cuts a kind of funny promo on Kaval.  Kaval cuts a good promo in response.  Commercials.

Season 3 intro: Vickie Guerrero is Pro to… WAIT A MINUTE.  WHAT THE FUCK?  WHY THE FUCK IS VICKIE GUERRERO A FUCKING PRO?  This show just jumped the shark.  The rookie is a giantess of a woman named Aloisia.

It’s time for the moment of truth.  The winner of NXT season 2 is… wait for it… KAVAL!  Fuckin’ right!  Kaval shows incredible balance will standing on the top rope to celebrate as LayCool rush the ring and shower him with approval.  McGillicutty is shocked and pissed.  “HIM?”  McGillicutty says he’s still the future, he’ll be back, etc. etc.  I just hope he finds a better name.  Kaval starts to cut his victory promo when the 5 previously eliminated rookies jump him.  The babyface Pros hit the ring to try to make the save.  Referees try to break it up.  Husky Harris keeps beating the shit out of Kaval.  Miz, Riley, and McGillicutty come back the ring and join the brawl.  Everybody else does shit outside while Harris, Riley, McGillicutty, and Cannon beat up Kaval.  Cannon hits his modified DVD thingy.  Harris hits his senton.  Riley hits the TKO.  Watson and O’Neil are back in the ring now.  Where the fuck did the Pros go?  O’Neil hits Kaval with a sit-out spinebuster.  Kaval is left laying.

Season 2 highlight video.

Okay show, but the big clusterfuck at the end was confusing.  This concludes season 2.  I have less than no desire to watch season 3, but I’m sure I’ll keep on trucking through.  I’ll dread that more than I dread Impact every week.

WWE NXT 8/10/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  Earlier today, Matt Striker had Michael Cole and Josh Matthews do this week’s stupid challenge, the Power of the Punch!  Cole is wearing a Miz t-shirt and a toy WWE belt.  Cole scores 728.  Matthews scores 806.  Cole gets all pissy about losing.  NXT open.  Cole and Matthews are the announcers.  Horrible Jamie Keyes is the ring announcer, and she’s horrible at it.  She introduces the Pros & Rookies…

Kofi Kingston & Michael McGillicutty, Zack Ryder, WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool & Kaval, John Morrison, Montel Vontavious Porter & Percy Watson, Lucky Cannon, “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Husky Harris, and WWE United States Champion The Miz & Alex Riley.  Striker points out that Mark Henry isn’t there due to injuries suffered at the hands of the Nexus last night.  Tonight is elimination night.  The season finale is in 3 weeks.  They do the stupid challenge.  The winner gets an individual appearance on Raw next week.  McGillicutty scores  863.  Kaval kicks it and scores 297.  He’s disqualified and looks like a loser anyway.  Watson scores 716.  Cannon scores 744.  Harris scores 380.  Riley scores 896 to win.

Tonight, Who will be eliminated?  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

During the break. The Miz and John Morrison argued about the SummerSlam team.  Morrison refused to ask Miz for help and challenged him to a match TONIGHT.  Miz agreed.

Kaval, Percy Watson, & Lucky Cannon vs. Michael McGillicutty, Alex Riley, & Husky Harris.  Rematch from Raw last night.  Cannon schoolboys Harris for 2.  Cannon works Harris’ arm.  Kaval tags in and kicks Harris, then tags in Watson.  Watson works Harris’ arm too.  Harris fights back and tags in Riley.  Watson kicks Riley out of the ring.  Riley sells for a bit, then they lock up.  Riley takes Watson down with a side headlock.  Watson comes back with arm drags.  Cannon tags in works over Riley.  Cannon mows down Riley with a boot for 2.  Riley bails.  Cole and Matthews bicker obnoxiously.  Harris and McGillicutty bitches at Riley.  Cannon takes out Riley with a dive.  Commercials.  McGillicutty works Cannon over.  Harris comes in and squashes Cannon in the corner for 2.  Riley comes in and hits sort of a face plant DDT for 2.  McGillicutty takes over beating up Cannon.  Kaval gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Kaval tries the handspring and knocks Riley off the apron, then jumps on McGillicutty’s back and locks in a Dragon sleeper.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Kaval avoids the neckbreaker and drops McGillicutty, then hits the Warrior’s Way for the pin in 10:41.  KI WON!  Right on!  Okay match.

The Pros huddle together to tally their scores.

Miz vs. Morrison NXT!  Commercials.

Raw Rebound.

Cole and Matthews hype the SummerSlam card.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Miz scores a knockdown with a shoulder block.  Morrison takes Miz down and they do some amateur shit.  Miz elbows Morrison in the face to escape a waist lock.  Morrison hits a dropkick and a standing Shooting Star press for 0.  Miz catches Morrison with a knee lift and puts the boots to him.  Miz hammers Morrison in the corner.  Morrison avoids the corner lariat and gets a backslide for 2.  Morrison hits Miz with a dive to the outside.  Commercials.  Miz has Morrison in a rear chin lock.  Never saw that one coming.  Morrison fights out.  Miz does his “push the guy into the middle rope” shit for 2.  Miz hits the corner lariat for 2.  Miz keeps working over Morrison.  Morrison gets a schoolboy for 2.  Morrison makes his comeback.  Morrison lands the Flying Chuck for 2.  Miz ducks a knee and catches Morrison with a boot for 2.  Morrison lands some kicks and goes for the Starship Pain, but Miz avoids it.  Miz avoids a Pele kick and Morrison injures his ankle.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 10:50.  Good little match.  So yet another member of Team WWE may be out of the match.

The elimination is NXT!  Commercials.

Striker has assembled the six remaining rookies at ringside.  Striker asks them who they think should be eliminated.  McGillicutty says Cannon, as does Kaval.  Watson is reluctant to answer, but says Riley.  Cannon says anybody but him.  Harris says Cannon.  Riley says McGillicutty.  The Poll is: #1 Kaval, #2 McGillicutty, #3 Percy Watson, #4 Husky Harris, #5 Alex Riley, #6 Lucky Cannon.  Cannon is eliminated.  Cannon cuts a promo on the other participants, then shakes hands with all of them and leaves.  Riley bitches about his drop in rank.  Striker says there will be TWO eliminations next week!  LayCool fawn over #1 Kaval.

Not a bad show this week.  It helps that the competition wasn’t as incredibly stupid as usual.

WWE Monday Night Raw 8/9/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers LIVE from Sacramento, California.  Tonight, John Cena & Bret Hart take on Edge & Chris Jericho with The Nexus as Lumberjacks!  Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

Bret Hart comes out to cut a promo.  He says he’s been training for SummerSlam, but he’s disappointed to see his team falling apart.  He asks Chris Jericho and Edge to come out.  Jericho comes out expecting Bret to kiss his ass.  Bret says he put his reputation on the line when he vouched for Edge and Jericho to Cena.  He wants them to get their heads out of their asses and rejoin the SummerSlam team.  Jericho refuses, because he’s a prick.  Jericho says Bret just doesn’t want to get beat up by Edge and Jericho tonight.  He runs down Bret some more, then Edge comes out.  Edge talks to Jericho about how they both idolized Bret as a kid, then tells Bret they can count on him.  Edge tries to cheap shot Bret, but Bret trips him and goes for the Sharpshooter.  Jericho pokes Bret in the eye and Edge and Jericho make their escape.  Natalya comes out and pleads with Bret.  They show the Nexus beating the shit out of The Hart Dynasty backstage.  Bret and Natalya run to the back.  This was a good segment except for the part where Bret STILL CAN’T DO ANYTHING PHYSICAL, SO WHY THE FUCK IS HE OUT THERE?  Commercials.

Bret, Natalya, and the trainers check on the Hart Dynasty.  Bret is ready to go fuck somebody up, but John Cena shows up to calm him down.  Cena says he’s going to talk to Great Khali.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Evan Bourne.  They lock up.  Bourne has a black eye.  Miz beats up Bourne.  Miz chokes Bourne against the middle rope for 2.  Isn’t that grounds for being fired?  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  Bourne fights out.  Miz hits the corner clothesline for 2.  Miz goes back to the rear chin lock.  Miz goes for a suplex, but Bourne knees his way out.  Bourne lands some kicks.  Bourne hits a sweet rebound Frankensteiner for 2.  Miz hits a lariat that Bourne does a 360 flip for.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 3:59.  Good little match.  It’s a shame that they completely kiboshed Bourne’s push, though.  Miz says when he gets ready to cash in his Money In The Bank contract, he’ll be WWE Champion.

John Cena talks to Great Khali.

Tonight, Cena & Bret vs. Edge & Jericho with the Nexus as Lumberjacks!  Commercials!

Slam of the Week: Melina returning to take out Alicia Fox last week after the six-woman tag.

Non-Title: Melina vs. WWE Divas Champion Alicia Fox.  Melina tries to lock up, but Fox powers her into the corner and beats on her.  Melina fights back and beats on Fox.  Melina hits her modified Stroke thing, then sends Fox outside.  Fox clotheslines Melina on the outside.  Back inside, Fox covers for 2.  Fox hits a half assed tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  Fox applies a rear chin lock and knees Melina in the back.  Melina fights back.  Fox locks in a Canadian backbreaker.  Melina screams and hits the Code Red for the pin in 3:38.  They tried, but it wasn’t pretty.

Josh Matthews interviews Great Khali.  He says he’s with WWE, then babbles in Khalese.  He wants somebody named Red Berry in a match tonight.  Matthews interprets it as “Wade Barrett.”  Commercials.

During the break, Michael Cole got an email from the iBooker 9000 announcing Melina vs. Alicia Fox for the Divas Championship at SummerSlam.  Ugh.  Also, Barrett will face Khali tonight.

Tonight, Divas wrestle in swimsuits!  Less interestingly, Sheamus calls out Randy Orton.

Edge and Jericho talk backstage.  Jericho thinks they’ve made a mistake.  Edge says they’ve survived everything else that has happened over the last 10 years.  Jericho says they should take out Cena and Bret tonight, because for some reason, The Nexus not having a match at SummerSlam protects them.

John Morrison and R-Truth talk.  Mark Henry says he’ll be a replacement on the SummerSlam team.

The Nexus watch TV!  Commercials!

Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) and Mark Henry come out for their match, but the Nexus show up and jump Mark Henry.  They send him into the steps, then run out through the crowd.  Henry is KTFO’d.

WWE Champion Sheamus is headed our way!  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: Randy Orton vs. The Miz from last week.

WWE Champion Sheamus comes out.  He gives the usual pussy cop out answer that he was scared of what he’d do to Orton.  They show a video package of Sheamus destroying people.  He babbles some more and calls out Randy Orton.  Orton comes out and calls him out on his pussy cop out line.  They banter back and forth.  Orton challenges Sheamus to fight.  Cole gets an email from the iBooker 9000 saying that if anyone interferes in the title match at SummerSlam, they will be suspended indefinitely.  Also, it’s Orton’s last title shot at Sheamus.  The iBooker also challenges Sheamus to stop being a pussy and fight Orton.  Sheamus teases taking a shot, but tries to leave.  Orton attacks Sheamus and goes for the pump kick, but Orton hits the 3.0.  Orton goes for the PUNT OF DOOM, but stops short and lets Sheamus live.  Orton holds up the belt, throws it back to Sheamus, and leaves.

Tonight, Cena & Bret vs. Edge & Jericho with the Nexus as Lumberjacks!  Commercials!

SummerSlam song plug.

Kaval, Percy Watson, & Lucky Cannon vs. Michael McGillicutty, Alex Riley, & Husky Harris.  Sheamus is still sitting at ringside for some reason.  Watson and McGillicutty start.  Watson drops him with an elbow for 2.  McGillicutty lands a dropkick and tags in Riley.  Riley puts the boots to Watson in the corner.  Riley locks Watson in a rear chin lock.  Watson drops Riley with an enzuigiri and makes the tag to Kaval.  Kaval runs wild on Riley.  Kaval locks Riley in the Dragon Clutch on the ropes, then hits the Tidal Crush for 2.  Cannon takes out McGillicutty with a dive.  Kaval hits the double stomp on Riley.  Harris blind tags in and hits Kaval from behind.  Harris hits Kaval with the senton splash for the pin in 3:02.  Fine little TV match.  Sheamus attacks Cannon and McGillicutty at ringside, then hits the Razor’s Edge on Kaval.  Sheamus says he was sending a message, presumably that he’s not a coward.  Naturally, Kaval is made to look like the biggest jobber of the bunch.

John Morrison & R-Truth are headed our way!  Commercials.

Tonight, Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett!

John Morrison & R-Truth vs. William Regal & Zack Ryder.  Regal and Ryder work over Truth.  Morrison gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Morrison hits a sweet one man Spanish Fly on Ryder, but Regal saves.  Truth takes out Regal.  Morrison hits Ryder with the Flying Chuck and the Starship Pain for the pin in 2:11.  At least they squashed Ryder instead of Regal.

Cole and Lawler hype the SummerSlam card.

Divas in swimsuits are NEXT!  Commercials.

Divas Summertime Spectacular: Maryse & Jillian Hall vs. Eve Torres & Gail Kim vs. The Bella Twins.  Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov are the special guest referees.  The girls come down a water slide in the entryway.  Maryse puts her hate on Eve’s face, so Eve kicks her ass.  One of the Bellas tags in and gets worked over by Maryse and Jillian.  The other Bella gets the tag and runs wild on Jillian.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Eve hits a neckbreaker drop on a Bella.  Gail puts a lifesaver thing on Maryse and hits the Eat Defeat.  Jillian throws Gail outside onto Eve.  Nikki Bella hits a diving cross body on Jillian for the pin in 2:51.  Typical divas/comedy match.  At least it’s out of the way now.  Tamina comes out.  She seems to have a thing for Santino… or she just wants to threaten him.  She slaps him on the ass, so I guess she likes him.

SummerSlam Recall: The Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie in a Jailhouse Match at SummerSlam ’91.  The Mountie lost and had to spend the night in a New York City jail!

Great Khali is headed our way!  But wait!  The Nexus jump him and take out his knee!  Commercials.

The Nexus come out.  Barrett says his match with Khali has been canceled.  He talks about The Nexus gaining power.  Sheffield talks about taking people out.  Otunga warns anyone else against joining Team WWE.

John Cena and Bret Hart come across The Miz backstage.  Miz assumes that they were going to ask him to join Team WWE.  They ask him if he’s in.  He says he’ll let them know Sunday.  The main event is next.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Next week, Justin Long will be the guest host!  Sweet!  I actually like that guy.

Lumberjack Match: Edge & Chris Jericho vs. John Cena & Bret Hart.  The Nexus are lumberjacks.  Edge beats up Cena to start.  Cena takes Edge down with a side headlock after Bret decks Edge from the apron.  Edge escapes and throws Cena outside to the Nexus.  They put the boots to him and throws him back in.  Jericho tags in and… throws Cena out to Nexus, where the put the boots to him and throws him back in.  Repeat.  Jericho tries to do it a third time, but Cena reverses him outside.  The Nexus don’t attack Jericho, they simply let him back in.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Jericho counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Cena reverses it, misses a shoulder block, and falls outside.  He escapes The Nexus, but Jericho accidentally clocks Barrett.  Cena knocks Jericho outside and The Nexus kick his ass.  Edge tries to help, but gets his ass kicked too.  Bret brings Gabriel in the ring and beat him up, but The Nexus pull him to safety.  The Nexus huddle to talk strategy, then go after Cena and Bret.  Morrison and Truth run out to help.  The match is a no-contest in about 4 minutes.  Jericho and Edge come back to rejoin Team WWE.  They face off and brawl.  The crowd goes crazy.  Team WWE cleans house and the Nexus bail through the crowd.  Team WWE stands tall!

Fine show here.  They did a great job of promoting SummerSlam.

WWE NXT 8/3/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 3, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, “Last week on NXT…” video, NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  The awful Jamie Keyes is the ring announcer.  We’re TAPED from Laredo, Texas.

The Pros are on stage: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, John Morrison, Montel Vontavious Porter, Cody Rhodes, Zack Ryder, WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool, and WWE United States Champion The Miz.

Matt Striker introduces the rookies: Alex Riley, Kaval, Percy Watson, Lucky Cannon, Michael McGillicutty, and Husky Harris.  Striker bitches at them about the brawl last week.  Striker says tonight’s contest will be a kissing contest.  Are you fucking serious?  Striker calls Layla and Michelle McCool to the ring.  LayCool babble about what the fuck ever.  A fucking kissing contest for real?  LayCool finally say they aren’t going to kiss these geeks.  They bring out a fat, middle aged trailer trash woman with herpes sores on her mouth.  Husky actually kisses her.  He’s disgusted.  It must be like kissing my ex-wife.  McGillicutty licks her face and is also disgusted.  Well what the fuck did he expect?  Lucky kisses her and actually smiles.  Percy doesn’t want to do it, but McCool pushes his head down into the grossness.  Layla kisses Kaval to save him from that horrible fate.  Oh no, he has to kiss her anyway.  He MANS UP and plants one on this horrid woman.  Alex Riley plants a BIG ONE on her, then feigns being lovestruck and falling down.  Margarete rules that Lucky Cannon is the winner.  LayCool says everyone won a bunch of diseases.  Riley goes back for me.  Cannon seems to want to fight him for this unfuckable hag.  And I’ve fucked some hags in my day.  Fucking horrible shit.  This show is off to a great start… commercials…

Kaval (w/ WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool) vs. Husky Harris (w/ “Dashing” Cody Rhodes).  They lock up.  Harris backs Kaval into the corner and slaps him.  Harris takes Kaval down.  Kaval fights out and lands some kicks.  Kaval awesomely balances on Harris’ shoulders, then hits him with a dropkick.  Harris bails.  Kaval attempts a dive, but Harris catches him and rams him into the barricade.  Back inside, Harris covers for 2, then puts the boots to Kaval.  Kaval fires back with chops.  Harris tries a catapult, but Kaval catches himself and hits a double stomp for 2.  Harris avoids Kaval in the corner and hits a uranage slam.  Harris hits the senton for the pin in 3:16.  Mediocre match and Kaval jobs again.  Boo.

The Miz talks about Michael McGillicutty in a pre-taped segment.

Ashley Valence interviews Michael McGillicutty (w/ Kofi Kingston).  McGillicutty wants Miz tonight.  Lucky Cannon and Mark Henry show up.  Lucky and McGillicutty argue about who is going to wrestle Miz.  In the arena, Miz says Lucky and McGillicutty can face each other tonight, with Miz maybe wrestling the winner.  Kofi challenges Miz to face the winner… TONIGHT.  After some taunting, Miz agrees.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Michael McGillicutty (w/ WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston) vs. Lucky Cannon (w/ Mark Henry).  They lock up and do mat wrestling.  Yay!  McGillicutty avoids a monkey flip and dropkicks Cannon in the face.  McGillicutty hits the neckbreaker (McGillicutter) for the pin in 1:00.  Pretty good for a one minute match, but you can’t do much in a minute.

Tonight, Percy Watson vs. Alex Riley!  Commercials.

The SummerSlam song is some crappy song by some crappy band!

Cole and Matthews hype the SummerSlam card.

Striker asks the Pros which Pro they think is doing the worst job.  Kofi says LayCool are the worst Pros.  That is a fact.  LayCool I think says Kofi as a receipt.  Henry says it’s Ryder.  Rhodes says it’s Kofi.  Miz interrupts Ryder before he can answer and says it’s all of them.  Miz and Morrison bicker.  Riley vs. Watson is NXT!  Commercials.

Alex Riley (w/ WWE United States Champion The Miz) vs. Percy Watson (w/ Montel Vontavious Porter).  We get a “WWE.com Exclusive” promo from Watson.  Doesn’t it stop being internet exclusive when they show it on TV?  Riley starts with a fucking kick the gut, because apparently in FCW they don’t teach fuckers how to lock up.  Watson leapfrogs Riley and hits an elbow smash for 2.  Watson hits an enzuigiri, then dances.  Riley hits a modified DDT OF MURDER on the apron.  Cover gets 2.  Riley applies a shoulder hold.  Watson fights out, but gets dropped again.  Watson fires back, loses the stupid glasses, and hits some dropkicks.  Watson gets a sunset flip out of the corner for 2.  Watson hits corner punches.  Riley hits a Manhattan drop and pulls Watson down into the middle turnbuckle.  Riley hits the TKO for the pin in 3:30.  Decent little match, I thought.  Miz vs. McGillicutty is NXT!  Commercials!

NXT week is elimination week!

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Michael McGillicutty (w/ WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston).  They lock up.  Miz pushes McGillicutty into the corner and gives a dirty break.  They lock up again and McGillicutty takes Miz down.  Mat wrestling!  Yay!  McGillcutty gets a schoolboy for 2.  Miz hits a knee lift and kicks McGillicutty in the gut.  Miz punishes McGillicutty against the ropes.  McGillicutty gets an inside cradle for 2.  Miz kicks McGillicutty out of the ring with a sliding dropkick.  Kofi helps McGillicutty up.  McGillicutty rams Miz into the side of the ring.  Miz boots McGillicutty in the face.  Miz throws McGillicutty into the ring and covers for 2.  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  McGillcitty comes back and kicks Miz’s ass.  McGillicutty is rolling.  Miz avoids a basement dropkick and boots McGillicutty in the face again.  Miz stares at the other Pros, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 4:34.  Not a bad little match.

The opening segment was fucking awful WrestleCrap bullshit.  The rest of the show wasn’t bad.

WWE NXT 7/27/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 29, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, hype video because tonight is elimination night!  NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We’re in Corpus Christi, Texas!  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  The awful Jamie Keyes is the ring announcer.

The Pros are already on stage: John Morrison, Zack Ryder, Montel Vontavious Porter, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool, WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, and WWE United States Champion The Miz.

Matt Striker introduces the rookies: Percy Watson, Alex Riley, Michael McGillicutty, Kaval, Husky Harris, Eli Cottonwood, and Lucky Cannon.  They each get a minute to cut a promo about anything except why the shouldn’t be eliminated.  That’s dumb.  Cannon talks about “friends” and gets booed heavily.  Cottonwood talks about “eyes.”  Harris talks about “husky.”  Kaval talks about “dreams.”  McGillicutty talks about how great he is and argues with Miz because Miz talked shit about him in his hype video last week.  Riley talks about Starbucks.  Watson talks about having a good time.

Cole and Matthews bicker.

Percy Watson hype video.  He’s in action NXT!  Commercials.

Percy Watson (w/ Montel Vontavious Porter) vs. Zack Ryder.  Watson finally stopped trying to wrestle in the stupid glasses.  Ryder beats up Watson.  MVP stands on the apron like a dumbass because whoever came up with that idea is motherfucking retarded.  Watson fights back and lands some big dropkicks.  Watson hits a clothesline.  Ryder bails to the apron and pulls Watson’s head across the top rope.  Watson avoids the Rough Ryder and hits the float over DDT and a twisting splash for the pin in 2:47.  It was there.

John Morrison talks to Eli Cottonwood backstage.  They’re both wearing “Mustache” t-shirts.  They show him failing at the stupid obstacle course last week.  Cottonwood is facing McGillicutty tonight.  Cottonwood says “Mustache.”  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Another replay of the stupid obstacle course from last week.

Michael McGillicutty (w/ WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston) vs. Eli Cottonwood (w/ John Morrison).  McGillicutty, pissed off because he has such a stupid name, goes on the attack.  Cottonwood, pissed off because he sucks, beats the shit out of McGillicutty.  Cottonwood hits a killer short range lariat for 2.  Cottonwood beats up McGillicutty while Cole talks about his crush on Miz.  Cottonwood applies a rear chin lock.  McGillicutty works Cottonwood’s leg and does that retarded DDTing the leg shit.  McGillicutty hits the swinging neckbreaker for the pin in 3:37.  It was mediocre, which is a lot better than I expected.

Ashley Valence introduces a Kaval hype video.  Why was she needed for that?

LayCool annoying talk to Kaval.  Husky Harris bumps into Kaval.  They bicker.  They’re gonna have a match NXT!  Commercials.

Kaval (w/ WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool) vs. Husky Harris (w/ “Dashing” Cody Rhodes).  Kaval throws kicks.  Husky manhandles him and tries a hip toss, but Kaval rolls through it and lands a big kick for 2.  Kaval lands some more kicks.  Harris hits a short range lariat for 2.  Kaval lands some more awesome blows.  Harris nails him with a lariat for 2.  Kaval tries a head scissors.  Harris accidentally knocks LayCool off the apron.  Kaval checks on them and gets nailed.  Harris hits a reverse brainbuster and the senton splash for the pin in 3:12.  Decent little match.  They could probably have a pretty good match if given a little time.

The Poll will be revealed NXT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Raw Rebound.

Cole and Matthews hype the SummerSlam card.

The Poll will be revealed NXT for real this time!  Commercials.

Matt Striker has the rookies assembled at ringside.  #1 Michael McGillicutty, #2 Kaval, #3 Alex Riley, #4 Percy Watson, #5 Lucky Cannon, #6 Husky Harris, #7 Eli Cottonwood.  Cottonwood is eliminated.  Yay!  Cottonwood attacks Harris.  Cannon and Riley try to take him down, but fail.  Cottonwood walks to the back, shoving his Pro, Morrison, on the way.  Striker interviews Harris, then McGillicutty, then Riley.  McGillcutty and Riley start brawling.  Cottonwood comes back down to attack Cannon and Harris.  End of show.

Lame show as usual, but the end was kind of interesting.

WWE NXT 7/20/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

Earlier today, Matt Striker ran the stupid obstacle course.  This was in Little Rock and I really wish I could have gone.

NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.  Jamie Keyes and her nails on a chalkboard voice are the ring announcer.

Montel Vontavious Porter is in the ring to do the V.I.P. Lounge.  He introduces his guest, Percy Watson!  MVP is pissed off about what happened last week.  Watson apologizes.  MVP accepts the apology.  Matt Striker comes out (with his music that I forgot he had) and asks MVP why Percy should be ranked #1.  MVP asks the crowd, who seem to like him.  He’s no Kaval, but I like him too.  Watson cuts a promo.  Cody Rhodes and Husky Harris come out.  Rhodes talks about why Harris should be #1.  Harris is “the army tank with a Ferrari engine.”  Harris says he’s real and not a “miniature midget ninja.”  Striker announces a tag match between the two teams NEXT!

WWE.com plug.

Lucky Cannon hype video.

The other Pros are on stage now: WWE United States Champion The Miz, WWE Women’s Champion Layla & Michelle McCool, Zack Ryder, WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, and John Morrison.  Where’s Mark Henry?

Montel Vontavious Porter & Percy Watson vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Husky Harris.  Watson and Harris start.  Harris beats on Watson.  Watson drops him with a shoulder block and hits an arm drag.  Watson works Harris’ arm.  MVP tags in and beats up Harris.  Watson tags in and hits another shoulder block for 2.  Rhodes tags in and gets arm dragged by Watson.  Rhodes gets the advantage on Watson and tags in Harris.  Watson sends Harris outside with a dropkick and follows.  They brawl outside.  The Pros break it up, then MVP decks Rhodes.  Insta-commercials.  Rhodes beats up Watson.  Watson slams Rhodes, then gets decked again.  Rhodes stomps on Watson and hits a front suplex, then yells at MVP.  Harris tags in and waist locks Watson on the ground.  Harris hits a sick short range lariat for 2.  MVP and Rhodes tag in.  MVP runs wild and hits the Ballin’ elbow.  Harris comes in and gets Yakuza kicked.  Rhodes hits MVP with his springboard kick.  Rhodes tags in Harris and tells him to show why he should be #1.  Harris hits the senton splash on MVP for the pin (7:16 shown).  Okay little match.

Michael McGillicutty hype video.

Lucky Cannon takes on Alex Riley NXT!  Cole mizzes in his pants because his crush will be at ringside.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

They show Mark Henry getting fucked up by Wade Barrett on Raw last night to explain why Henry is absent tonight.

Striker asks both Cannon and Riley/Miz to cut their promos about why they should be #1 NXT week.

Lucky Cannon vs. Alex Riley (w/ WWE United States Champion The Miz).  Riley starts the match with a kick to the fucking gut just like all of these stupid fucks do these days.  Cannon fights back and hits come clotheslines and a big boot for 2.  Riley avoids a diving cross body and hits a TKO for the pin in 1:13.  Well this was brief.  Miz teases bashing Cannon with the Money In The Bank briefcase, but then he doesn’t instead… but then he does!  That jerk!  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale onto the briefcase, just to be a dick.  Miz walks by the other Pros taunting them with the briefcase.

“Money” was the shitty MITB theme!

Raw Rebound.  Cole and Matthews talk about it.

Voting for the next poll opens tomorrow at noon!

John Morrison and Eli Cottonwood cut promos about why Eli should be #1.  Eli threatens Striker into voting for him.  LayCool and Kaval cut their promos too.  I’m voting for Kaval, because he’s motherfucking Low-Ki.

The stupid obstacle course shit is NXT!

Kofi Kingston and Michael McGillicutty cut their promos about why McGillicutty should be #1.  McGillicutty does the obstacle course in 26.7 seconds.  Riley does it in 40.3, then yells at the referee for making him go back and do the part he fucked up on.  Cottonwood gets disqualified for refusing to go back and redo the push-ups.  Cannon does it in 28.2.  Kaval does it in 29.1.  He was awesome, but struggled on the pushing the heavy cart part.  Watson does it in 31.5.  Harris does it in 50.3.  He wasn’t disqualified for tackling one of the barriers instead of jumping it.  McGillicutty wins and is immune from elimination NXT week.

Okay tag match.  The rest of the show was lame.

WWE NXT 7/13/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Nexus hype video, NXT open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Josh Matthews are the announcers.

Hosts Matt Striker and Ashley Valence introduce the Pros: Mark Henry, John Morrison, Cody Rhodes, Zack Ryder, Montel Vontavious Porter, WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, and WWE United States Champion The Miz.  They introduce the Nexus: Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield, Heath Slater, David Otunga, Michael Tarver, and Wade Barrett.  Both of those groups are missing somebody.  Barrett wishes the rookies well and warns the Pros against starting any shit tonight.

Jamie Keyes is the ring announcer.  Also, she is horrible.

WWE United States Champion The Miz & Alex Riley vs. Mark Henry & Lucky Cannon.  This is stemming from Miz dumping garbage on Henry on Raw last night.  Henry is appropriately pissed off.  Riley starts with Henry, who immediately lunges for Miz.  Henry shoves Riley across the ring.  Riley offers a handshake, then tries to double cross Henry, but gets his ass kicked.  Riley bails.  Miz orders him back into the ring.  Henry beats up Riley some more and tags in Cannon.  The rookies go at it.  Cannon clotheslines Riley out of the ring and goes for a slingshot dive, but Riley sends him face first into the steps.  Commercials.  4 minutes later, Riley covers Cannon for 2.  I hate when it’s more commercials than match.  Miz tags in and continues the beating of not so Lucky Cannon.  Miz hits the corner clothesline for 2.  The heels continue to get the heat on Cannon.  Henry gets the hot tag and finally gets his hands on Miz.  Corner splash and a press slam by Henry.  Miz takes in Riley.  Riley takes a shot at Henry.  Henry picks him up and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin in 11:36.  It was fine.  Henry grabs a trash can and dumps trash on Riley.

Alex Riley hype video.  Wouldn’t this have been more effective right BEFORE he got covered in garbage instead of right after?

Tonight, the Showtime Percy Watson Show!  Commercials!

Highlights of Jack Swagger winning the WrestleMania XXVI Money In The Bank Ladder Match and cashing it in that week on Smackdown to beat Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Title.

Cole and Matthews hype the Money In The Bank card.

The Nexus sit on the stage and look mad.  They show the end of their match against John Cena on Raw and Cena and Sheamus running them off after the match.

The Showtime Percy Watson show is NXT!  Commercials!

Satan’s Prison DVD available NOW!

Percy Watson is in the ring to do his talk show.  He’s tremendously entertaining.  He introduces his guest, his Pro MVP!  Watson asks to borrow $20.  Seriously?  He thanks MVP for being his coach and all of that stuff.  MVP puts Watson over for listening to his advice.  Watson says he’s going to seize the moment, like MVP taught him.  The other rookies come out: Kaval, Husky Harris, Michael McGillicutty, Lucky Cannon, Eli Cottonwood, and Alex Riley.  MVP calls for the other Pros to come down to the ring.  Striker comes out and says the rookies are trying to test the Pros.  He proposes a battle royal.  Wade Barrett says the Nexus want to be in the Battle Royal.  He promises to win.  The 20-man Battle Royal is NXT!  Commercials!

20-Man Battle Royal featuring Percy Watson, Kaval, Husky Harris, Lucky Cannon, Michael McGillicutty, Eli Cottonwood, Alex Riley, Montel Vontavious Porter, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston, John Morrison, WWE United States Champion The Miz, Zack Ryder, Wade Barrett, Michael Tarver, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield, David Otunga, and Heath Slater.  The Nexus bail immediately.  Everybody else brawls.  About 5 guys team up to eliminate Henry.  The Nexus attack him on the outside and send him into the post.  Cottonwood gets eliminated and the Nexus jump him too.  Sheffield kills him with the big lariat.  Miz, Riley, and Rhodes eliminate MVP.  Morrison and Kofi come outside the help fight the Nexus.  Commercials.  4 minutes later, the Nexus get into the ring and start kicking ass.  Otunga eliminates Watson.  McGillicutty gets eliminated.  More brawling.  Harris and Kaval get eliminated.  Riley may have been eliminated too.  He got out of the ring and his back was bloody.  The Pros and the Nexus square off.  Ryder taunts them, then Miz tosses Ryder.  The rest of the Pros are like WTF?  Miz tells the Nexus he helped them get to where they are today.  They surround Miz, so Miz eliminates himself.  Morrison and Kofi go on the attack and get massacred while Rhodes stands back in the corner.  Morrison and Kofi fight back, but they can’t overcome the numbers game.  Rhodes runs around, trying to stay out of the way.  Morrison gets tossed, tries to skin the cat, but gets kicked off by Gabriel.  Kofi tries to fight back, but he’s totally boned.  Barrett eliminates Kofi.  They realize that only Rhodes is left.  Rhodes tries to make friends, but the kick the shit out of him.  Sheffield eliminates Rhodes.  The Nexus are announced as winners in 15:12, even though it was supposed to be every man for himself.  They kick the shit out of Morrison, Kingston, and Rhodes some more.  Barrett hits his slam on Kingston.  Otunga hits his spinebuster on Rhodes.  Gabriel hits the 450 splash on Rhodes.  Striker comes in to interview them.  Barrett warns him to step back, then cuts a promo.  Striker asks him if he’s proud of what they did to Cena on Raw.  Please, kick Striker’s ass!  Barrett says he is proud.  Replay of the post-match destruction of the Pros.

Okay show.  Good continuation of the Nexus angle.