Archive for Lee Marshall

AWA SuperClash III

Posted in AWA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

Larry Nelson introduces the show.  Lee Marshall joins him.  This a very old video, and not the best quality.  I hope I can get through it.  Marshall and Ray Stevens are the announcers.  Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer.  He introduces various people.  The audio and video are kind of out of sync.  I hope that doesn’t drive me too insane.

Cactus Jack & AWA Southern Tag Team Champions The Rock & Roll RPMs vs. Chavo, Mando, & Hector Guerrero.  Hector does some break dancing, then avoids being doubled teamed by the RPMs.  He takes them over with a headlock/head scissors combo.  Cactus and Mando tag in.  Mando gets a sunset flip, but puts him into the ropes.  Cactus throws some punches and sends Mando out of the ring.  Cactus follows him out and gets backdropped on the concrete.  The Guerreros works Cactus’ leg.  Cactus tags in one of the RPMs.  Chavo takes him over with a head scissors.  The Guerreros do flippy stuff to the RPMs as a clusterfuck ensues.  When I finally figure out which RPM is which, Cactus comes back in and beats up Chavo.  The RPMs and Cactus take turns beating up Chavo.  Hector tags in and dropkicks everybody.  Another clusterfuck ensues.  Mike Davis accidentally clotheslines Tommy Lane.  The Guerreros dispose of the heels.  Chavo pins Lane with a moonsault body block in 6:33.  Fun little opener.

Larry Nelson interviews the POWW Champion Nina (the future Ivory).

WCCW World Light Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Eric Embry.  They lock up.  They break and lock up again.  Repeat.  They trade hammerlocks in a fast and furious fashion.  Repeat.  They counter hip toss attempts, then shove each other.  Jarrett works Embry’s arm.  Embry escapes and drops Jarrett with a lariat.  Embry dodges a cross body, causing Jarrett to take a bump on his shoulder.  Jarrett rolls to the floor and sells it.  Jarrett makes it back in.  Embry attacks the injured shoulder.  Jarrett rallies and hits a missile dropkick, but hurts his shoulder.  Jarrett gets a sunset flip for 2, then a backslide for 2, then an inside cradle for 2, then another sunset flip.  Embry counters it and pins Jarrett with a prawn hold in 4:14.  Fine little match.  Embry regains the title for the fourth time, according to Cappetta.  Lee Marshall interviews Embry.  Embry says he’ll give Jarrett a rematch anytime, then goes to the back to check on his condition.  What a nice guy.

Larry Nelson interviews The Terrorist.

Jimmy Valiant vs. Wayne Bloom.  Bloom jumps Valiant and kicks his ass.  Valiant kicks Bloom’s ass back.  Valiant gets the pin with an elbow drop in 25 seconds.  Whatever.

Larry Nelson interviews some guy and Bambi.  The guy is POWW promoter David McClane.  POWW is a women’s promotion and they’re doing some stupid Lingerie Street Fight Battle Royal.

Verne Gagne has at some point replaced Ray Stevens on commentary.

WCCW Texas Heavyweight Championship Match: Iceman King Parsons (c) vs. Brickhouse Brown.  They shove each other.  Brown grabs a side headlock, then drops Parsons with a shoulder block and a dropkick.  Parsons bails.  Back inside, they lock up.  Brown works a headlock for a couple of hours.  He drops Parsons twice more with shoulder blocks, then hits a fucked up spinning backslide for 2.  Parsons bails again.  Brown works the headlock for another day or so.  Parsons escapes and hits a butt butt.  Parsons hits a weak clothesline for 2.  Parsons hits a suplex for 2.  Brown hits a cross body for 2.  Parsons knocks Brown down with some punches for 2.  He argues with the ref.  Trust me, Iceman, I wish this match was over, too.  Parsons tries a piledriver, but fails and gets backdropped.  Brown makes his comeback.  Parsons begs off.  Brown puts the boots to him in the corner, then beats him up some more.  Brown hits a half assed cross body and covers.  He thinks he got the pin, but Parsons’ foot was on the ropes.  Parsons punches Brown with and gets the pin in 5:42.  This sucked.  Marshall interviews Parsons.  Ugh.

Larry Nelson interviews Brandi Mae and Pocahontas.  This whole stupid match is about the Terrorist ripping up Brandi’s shorts.  Pocohantas promises to war dance tonight.  That David guy strikes me as a sleaze ball.

There’s some kind of convoluted six-person tag.  Cappetta says the titles are on the the line, so whatever.  Diamond Dallas Page interrupts the ring announcing.  Whatever, let’s just get this over with.

AWA World Tag Team Championship & AWA World Women’s Championship Match: Badd Company (c) & Madusa Miceli (w/ Diamond Dallas Page) vs. The Top Guns & Wendi Richter (c).  Everybody brawls.  The faces whip the heels into each other.  The Top Guns double team Pat Tanaka.  Dukes works over Tanaka.  Diamond tags in and beats up Dukes.  Diamond misses Dukes in the corner.  Richter tags in and tries to pull Madusa in the ring.  Madusa pulls across the top rope, then comes in the ring and beats her up.  Richter fights back and throws her around.  Richter missed a dropkick.  Richter hits a powerbomb, but Diamond saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Tanaka savate kicks Richter, then accidentally kicks Madusa.  Richter pins Madusa in 5:44.  The Top Guns spank Madusa.  The Top Guns are announced as the World Tag Team Champions, but history says otherwise.  I don’t know what the fuck happened there, and I don’t care.  The heels bitch at Lee Marshall.  Madusa slaps Tanaka and Page.  Badd Company and Page yell abuse at Madusa after she leaves and call her a bimbo.

Lee Marshall interviews WCCW World Heavyweight Champion Kerry Von Erich, with his young daughter Holly.  He says he’ll prove tonight that he’s the one and only World Heavyweight Champion.

AWA International Television Championship Match: Ron Garvin vs. Greg Gagne.  Stevens is back on commentary now.  Make up your minds!  The title is held up.  They lock up.  Garvin beats up Gagne.  Yay!  Gagne beats up Garvin.  Boo!  Garvin beats up Gagne some more.  Gagne back body drops Garvin for 2.  Gagne works Garvin’s arm.  Garvin fights back and beats up Gagne.  Garvin gets an inside cradle for 2.  I swear it sounds like Marshall keeps calling him “Garmin.”  They end up stuck on the ropes for a minute, then Garvin beats up Gagne on the outside.  Gagne makes it back inside and wins by count-out in 5:52.  Garvin puts Gagne in a sleeper.  Gagne escapes and puts Garvin in a sleeper.  THE FUCKING MATCH IS OVER, STOP TORTURING ME!  Gagne wins the vacant title.  This sucked.  A lot.  Marshall interviews Gagne.  I don’t care.

Still to come, the stupid 80’s eye candy match.

Larry Nelson interviews Verne Gagne.  Diamond Dallas Page interrupts.  He leaves, and Verne keeps talking.  Fuck.  And there are a lot of matches still to come.  Double fuck.

They a clip of a Jerry Lawler/Kerry Von Erich match from Memphis.

Nelson interviews the AWA World Heavyweight Champion, Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Cappetta introduces that annoying sleazy David McLane to do the ring announcing for the stupid women’s match.

Beverly Hills Lingerie Street Fight Battle Royal featuring Laurie Lynn, Luna Vachon, Peggy Lee Leather, Pali the Syrian Terrorist, Malibu, Bambi, Pocahontas, Brandi Mae, and POWW Champion Nina.  They fight.  It sucks.  They’re all in street clothes.  People get eliminated.  It comes down to Pali and Brandi Mae.  They fight horribly.  Brandi rips a Pali’s weird leotard thing.  Pali chokes Brandi with her stockings or something.  Fuck, I want this to end.  Pali eliminates Brandi and wins after a horribly long 8:33.  It was terrible.  Pali talks, then Marshall interviews her so she can talk some more.

Larry Nelson interviews Peggy Lee Leather.  Luna interrupts and cuts a weird promo.  This segment sucks too.

Lee Marshall puts over random people.  He talks to PWI Editor Bill Apter.  Apter is going to present an award to Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Larry Nelson interviews Sergeant Slaughter.

Boot Camp Match: Colonel DeBeers (w/ Diamond Dallas Page) vs. Sergeant Slaughter.  Sarge beats the shit out of DeBeers to start.  I didn’t hear an opening bell.  Maybe they don’t need one, since this is anything goes.  I don’t know.  DeBeers gets the shit beat out of him, then chokes Sarge with something.  Sarge stops being choked and beats up DeBeers some more.  They fight outside.  Page steals Sarge’s combat helmet.  DeBeers hits Slaughter with one of the things that they string a rope in that I guess does service for a guardrail here.  Page gives DeBeers Sarge’s helmet.  Page holds Sarge for DeBeers to hit.  Sarge ducks and Page gets knocked off of the apron.  Sarge makes a comeback and takes his helmet back.  Sarge headbutts DeBeers with the helmet a bunch of times.  Sarge hits a clothesline (the Slaughter Cannon), then locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Sarge wins by submission in about 6 minutes.  Sheik Adnan El Kaissey runs and The Iron Sheik run in and they all beat up Sarge.  The Guerreros make the save!  Sarge takes a swing at Chavo.  That dick.  Sarge goes after the Iron Sheik.  Shit eventually calms down and Marshall interviews Slaughter.  This match sucked.  Sarge recites the pledge of allegiance.

Larry Nelson is with Bill Apter and Jerry Lawler.  Apter presents Lawler with the Most Inspirational Wrestler of the Year Award.

WCCW World Tag Team Championship Match: The Samoan Swat Team (c) (w/ Buddy Roberts) vs. Michael Hayes & Steve Cox.  Samu and Hayes lock up.  They hammer each other in the corner.  Hayes whips Samu into Cox’s boot.  Cox tags in and twists Samu’s arm.  Fatu runs in and nails Cox, but Cox doesn’t let go.  Hayes runs over and knocks Fatu off of the apron.  Cox avoids a cross body and hits an arm drag on Samu, then cranks on the arm again.  Samu accidentally clocks Fatu and knocks him off the apron again.  The exact same thing happens again a minute later.  The SST finally manage to get heat on Cox.  Fatu puts him in a nerve hold.  Cox hits the ropes and knocks Samu off the apron, then he and Fatu clothesline each other.  Hayes gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Cox takes out Samu with a dive to the outside.  Hayes hits a DDT on Fatu.  Roberts comes in behind the referee’s back and hits Hayes in the back of the head with something, allowing Fatu to get the pin in 7:53.  Decent enough match.

Larry Nelson interviews the Iron Sheik and Sheik Adnan El Kaissey.

Prior to the strap match, Cappetta introduces a special guest, the IWGP Heavyweight Champion, Tatsumi Fujinami!  Fernandez bad mouths Fujinami.  Fujinami holds Fernandez to let Wahoo nail him!

Indian Strap Match: Manny Fernandez vs. Wahoo McDaniel.  Wahoo whips Manny’s hand with the strap.  Ouch.  Wahoo shows his expertise with the strap, using it to snapmare Fernandez, then choke him, then whip him.  Fernandez gets the advantage and beats up Wahoo.  Wahoo is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Manny touches one corner before Wahoo cuts him off.  They trade chops.  Manny gets BUSTED WIDE OPEN as well.  Wahoo beats him up.  Wahoo touches 3 corners before Manny manages to cut him off.  Fernandez hits a diving knee drop.  Manny goes up top, stupidly, and Wahoo pulls him off by the strap, predictably.  Wahoo touches 3 corners.  Manny kicks him into the 4th corner to give Wahoo the win in 7:49.  Manny keeps beating on Wahoo, but Fujinami makes the save!  Lee Marshall interviews Wahoo.

Larry Nelson interviews Verne Gagne and AWA President Stanley Blackburn.

Al Lerner (who?) is the guest ring announcer for the main event.  Lawler and Von Erich both cut promos before the match.

Title Unification Match: AWA World Heavyweight Champion Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. WCCW World Heavyweight Champion “The Modern Day Warrior” Kerry Von Erich.  Lawler plays chickenshit to start.  Lawler rams Von Erich’s arm into the top turnbuckle to “bust it open” (Kerry had cut his arm open before the match because he was coked up or something).  They lock up.  Von Erich hits Lawler with a punch that sends him ass over teakettle.  Kerry hits Lawler with a vicious clothesline.  Repeat.  They lock up again.  Lawler avoids a clothesline… but gets clotheslined again anyway.  WCCW booker Frank Dusek is at ringside.  Kerry wants a test of strength.  Lawler stupidly obliges.  Kerry hits a discus lariat for a pair of 2 counts.  They roll around on the mat.  Lawler hits Von Erich with some great punches and knocks him out of the ring.  Kerry goes for a slingshot splash, but Lawler catches him with his knees.  Lawler hits a piledriver.  Kerry no sells it.  Lawler struts around and turns around into a tornado punch.  Kerry covers for 2.  Kerry goes for the Claw, but Lawler fights it.  Lawler avoids a knee drop.  Lawler gets a cover, but Kerry throws him on top of the referee.  Kerry hits a piledriver, but by the time the referee wakes up, Lawler manages to kick out at 2.  Kerry beats up Lawler some more.  Kerry goes for a tornado punch outside, but Lawler ducks and Kerry punches the post.  Lawler pulls an object out of his tights and hits Von Erich with it, then hits a diving fist drop.  Lawler hits another fist drop, then another diving one with his object.  Kerry catches him with the Claw to the stomach.  Kerry is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Kerry shifts the Claw to Lawler’s forehead.  Lawler gets a rope break.  Kerry puts the Claw back on.  They get up.  Lawler avoids Kerry in the corner and Kerry hits the turnbuckles.  Kerry punches Lawler some.  Lawler hits Kerry with his object again.  Frank Dusek yells.  It’s No DQ, so quit your bitching!  Lawler punches Kerry’s blood forehead.  Lawler goes into his Muhammad Ali routine and hits Kerry with a bunch of jabs.  Lawler punches Kerry with his object again.  Kerry falls out of the ring, where Dusek checks on him.  Kerry comes back in.  The referee checks the cut.  Lawler punches him again.  They trade punches.  Kerry beats up Lawler.  The punch each other down.  Kerry covers for 2, then applies the Claw again.  Lawler gets his shoulder up repeatedly.  The referee stops it due to Kerry’s blood loss at 18:53.  Lawler is awarded the match, despite being down and out.  Dusek bitches at the referee.  Kerry leaves with the belts.  Lawler did what he could to hold the match together, but it wasn’t very good.  Lawler is announced as the winner, despite the fact that Kerry stole the belts, presumably to buy more coke.  Marshall interviews Lawler after the match.

Larry Nelson interviews the bloody mess that is Kerry Von Erich.  They show clips of the match.  Stanley Blackburn defends the referee’s decision.

The Stud Stable (w/ Sylvia) vs. The Rock & Roll Express.  Ricky Morton and Jimmy Golden start.  Morton hits an arm drag.  Robert Fuller comes in and gets arm dragged, too.  Robert Gibson comes in and everybody brawls.  Studs bail.  Morton holds Golden in a front face lock for a bit.  Everybody ends up in the ring fighting again.  Studs bail again.  Gibson and Fuller run the ropes.  Golden knees Gibson in the back from the apron.  Fuller sends Gibson out of the ring.  Sylvia whacks Gibson with her big stick.  Studs beat up Gibson.  Gibson gets thrown out and beaten with the stick again.  Golden puts Gibson in an abdominal stretch, using the ropers for leverage.  Gibson gets free.  Morton tags in and half assed runs wild.  Clusterfuck ensues again.  R&R hit a double dropkick on one of them.  They all brawl, leading to a double DQ in 7:03.  Whatever.  Marshall interviews the Rock & Roll Express.

Larry Nelson interviews the Stud Stable.

Lee Marshall interviews Verne Gagne at ringside.

And finally this horrible fucking show ends.  Aside from a couple of good short matches at the beginning, this show sucked in pretty much every way.

WWF WrestleMania II (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2010 by Grappleholic

This review was originally written on 12/22/09.

On we march, with WrestleMania II!

WWE open, since this is from the Anthology.  WWF: The Recognized Worldwide Leader in Sports.  WrestleMania II: What The World Has Come To.  I should mention now that for some reason, they decided it would be a good idea to have WrestleMania II from 3 locations: Uniondale, New York, Chicago (Rosemont), Illinois, and Los Angeles, California.

First to New York, where Vince McMahon delivers his famous “Welcome to WrestleMania!” line.  Vince introduces his color commentator for the New York portion, Susan St. James.  I see Howard Finkel is the ring announcer for New York.  Ray Charles sings “America the Beautiful.”

Cut to Mean Gene Okerlund in Chicago for a minute.

Back in New York, some old fat guy interviews Roddy Piper (with “Cowboy” Bob Orton), who will be boxing Mr. T tonight.  Piper cuts a typically great promo, with the awesome line “If Mr. T can knock me out in this fight, I would not only quit professional boxing, I would quit professional wrestling, I would quit tiddlywinks, I would quit dating girls!”  He then turns to Orton and says “I’d stick with you, though.”

Don Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff.  After the opening bell, they play pre-taped audio comments from both wrestlers.  That strikes me as dumb.  They lock up.  Orndorff gets the better of it at first.  Orndorff gets Muraco on the mat and applies an arm lock.  Susan St. James is horrible on commentary.  Muraco tries to arm drag his way out of it, but Orndorff keeps it clamped on.  Muraco finally hits a Samoan drop to escape the punishment of his arm.  They go out of the ring and brawl to a double count-out at 4:33.  Crowd chants “BULLSHIT!”  It started off good, then went downhill.

Mr. T interviews himself.  During this, Finkel finally makes the announcement that the last match was a double count-out.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Randy Savage (c) (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. George “The Animal” Steele.  A pre-taped interview during Savage’s entrance.  This show is so sloppily produced.  Susan likes Steele.  Savage bails as soon as Steele goes after him.  Savage gets back in the ring.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Steele finally gets hold of Savage and bites his leg.  Steele picks up Savage by the neck, chokes him, then drops him.  Steele gets distracted, looking at Elizabeth.  Savage ties him up in the ropes and puts the boots to him.  Savage with a diving crossbody for 2.  Steele throws Savage out of the ring.  Savage crawls under the ring, comes out the other side, and jumps Steele from behind.  Steele bites Savage’s arm.  Steele clubs Savage until Savage gouges his eyes.  Savage slaps Steele with a bouquet of flowers.  Steele bites him again, then hits him with the flowers.  Steele eats the turnbuckle pad.  He feeds some of the stuffing to Savage.  Savage bails.  Who can blame him?  Steele chases him around the ring.  Steele pleads with Elizabeth.  Savage comes off the top with the diving axe handle to the outside.  Back in the ring,  Savage slams Steele and hits the diving elbow, but Steele kicks out at 1.  Steele grabs Savage’s nose, then throws him into the corner.  The ref admonishes Steele.  Savage trips Steele up and gets the Flair pin in the corner at 7:08.  This sucked.  Steele eats another turnbuckle, then chases the referee to the back.

In Chicago, Mean Gene interviews two of the participants in the NFL vs. WWF Battle Royal, Bill Fralic and Big John Studd.  During this, we hear Finkel’s annoucement that Savage was the winner and still the Intercontinental Champion.  Gah.

Vince and Susan talk about snakes.

George Wells vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  They trade punches.  Wells with a backdrop.  Snake sends Wells to the outside and they brawl on the floor.  Back inside, Wells hits a shoulder block.  Wells whips Roberts into the corner, then takes him over with a head scissors.  Wells with a knee lift.  Wells with a powerslam for 2.  Snake gouges the eyes, then begs off and bails.  Wells follows him out and back into the ring.  Roberts gets a cheap shot with the knee lift when Wells is still coming through the ropes, then hits the DDT for the pin at 3:05.  Jake puts the snake on Wells after the match.  The match was fine for what it was.

They show an altercation between Roddy Piper and Mr. T that led to tonight’s match, which I believe took place on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cut to Los Angeles, where Jesse Ventura interviews the WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan.

Back to Vince and Susan, then to Finkel in the ring to introduce the celebrities for the New York main event.  The guest ring announcer is Joan Rivers.  She introduces the judges: Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway, and G. Gordon Liddy.  The special guest timekeeper is Herb.  I don’t know who any of those people are.  The referee is Jack somebody.

Boxing Match: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (w/ “Cowboy” Bob Orton and the old fat guy) vs. Mr. T (w/ Joe Frazier & the Haiti Kid).  They box.  It sucks.  I’m not a boxing fan anyway, and I really hate lame, worked boxing matches in wrestling.  The first round ends.  They go to their corners.  Round 2 starts.  They box some more.  It still sucks.  I do like Piper’s plaid boxing trunks.  Round 2 ends.  Piper cheap shots T again anyway.  Orton throws a bucket of water on T to boot.  Round 3 starts.  Guess what?  They box!  T punches Piper out of the ring.  He barely makes it back in.  They’re both getting tired.  Round 3 ends.  Just end this shit already.  Piper throws his stool at Mr. T.  Round 4 starts.  They punch each other.  Piper knocks T’s mouthpiece out.  T knocks Piper’s mouthpiece out.  Piper socks the ref, then body slams Mr. T to cause the DQ at 1:17 of the 4th round.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Man, this sucked.

Now on to the Chicago portion of the show.  Gorilla Monsoon and Mean Gene hype the battle royal.  Gorilla introduces their color commentator for this portion, Cathy Lee Crosby.  Never heard of her either.  Curse my lack of knowledge of low level celebrities from before I was born.  Chet Coppock is the ring announcer for Chicago.

WWF Women’s Championship Match: The Fabulous Moolah (c) vs. Velvet McIntyre.  Moolah jumps McIntyre immediately and kicks her ass.  McIntyre fires back with dropkicks and an elbow smash.  McIntyre with a body slam, then comes off the top with a big splash, but Moolah moves out of the way, then covers McIntyre for the pin at the 59 second mark.  Well that was utterly pointless.

Gorilla, Gene, and Crosby hype the battle royal again.

Flag Match: Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Freddie Blassie) vs. Corporal Kirchner.  Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem before the match.  The winner gets to wave his flag. Volkoff goes on the offensive early.  Kirchner fights back.  Kirchner knocks down the referee.  While he’s down, Kirchner catches Blassie’s cane and nails Volkoff with it for the pin at 1:35, so he gets to hold up Old Glory.  Match was nothing.

Mean Gene is in the ring to explain the rules for a battle royal.  The timekeeper is the “where’s the beef” lady.  The referees are Dick Butkus and Ed “Too Tall” Jones.

Battle Royal featuring Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, The Killer Bees of Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic, The Hart Foundation of Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, and Andre the Giant.  There’s no opening bell, but everyone just starts fighting.  “Big Cat” Ernie Ladd joins Gorilla and Crosby at the announce table for whatever reason.  Ah, I guess because he was both a football player and a wrestler.  Tonga and one of the football players eliminate each other.  Holmes gets eliminated, I think by Bruno, or maybe Studd.  Brunzell gets tossed.  Perry eliminates Atlas.  A bunch of guys try to gang up on Andre.  Morales and Marvin eliminate each other.  Arcidi, Jim, and Spivey try to dump Blair, but he slips back in and helps the other guys dump Arcidi.  Sheik dumps Spivey.  Sheik dumps Jim and Blair.  Sheik and Studd dump Fralic.  Sammartino backdrops Sheik out of the ring.  Sammartino beats up Studd.  Harts beat up Perry.  Andre beats up one of the little guys, I think it’s Russ Frances.  Studd eliminates Bruno.  Perry throws the Harts over the top rope, but they both hit the apron and come back in.  Studd dumps Perry.  Perry shakes Studd’s hand, then, poor sport that he is, pulls Studd out of the ring.  It’s down to Andre, the Harts, and Frances.  Andre gets tied up in the ropes.  The Harts dump Frances, then double team Andre.  Andre big boots Hart, then rams Hart and Neidhart’s heads together.  Big boot to Neidhart sends him out of the ring.  Andre press slams Hart out of the ring and onto Neidhart to win it in about 9 minutes.

Cut to New York, where Vince and Susan talk to Roddy Piper.

Back to Chicago, where Jimbo Covert bitches about getting eliminated from behind.  Gene talks to The Iron Sheik.  “Wrestler is better than football player!”  Replays of the battle royal.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The Dream Team (c) (w/ Johnny Valiant) vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Captain Lou Albano & Ozzy Osbourne).  Davey Boy Smith and Greg Valentine start.  Smith shines early.  Valentine hits a hip toss, but Davey Boy avoids an elbow drop.  Tag to Dynamite.  Dynamite kicks Valentine’s ass and snap suplexes him, then tags Davey Boy back in.  Davey Boy hits his stalling suplex for 2.  Valentine bails to take a breather.  Valentine comes back in and hammers Smith, then headbutts him in the groin.  Tag to Beefcake.  Smith with a press slam, then the tag to Dynamite.  Dynamite with an inside cradle for 2.  Tag to Smith, who hits a Fisherman’s suplex for 2.  Tag to Valentine, who comes off the top with a clubbing blow to Smith.  Valentine with a suplex for 2.  Tag to Dynamite.  He and Valentine trade blows.  Bulldogs make quick tags to work over Valentine.  Beefcake comes in to club Dynamite, and is sent out by the ref.  Dynamite with a sunset flip on Valentine for 2.  Dynamite with a backbreaker, but Beefcake pulls him off of the cover.  Dynamite continues to wear down Valentine.  Valentine drops Dynamite with a sick piledriver for 2.  He tries to hold Dynamite’s shoulders down and ends up getting kicked in the balls.  Valentine goes up top and gets thrown across the ring by Dynamite.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Smith tries to press slam Dynamite onto Valentine, but Valentine bails.  Smith tags in and hits the running powerslam on Valentine for a close 2.  Smith with another suplex for 2.  Valentine finally manages to get the advantage on Smith and tags in Beefcake, who puts a beating on Davey Boy.  Tag to Valentine, who comes off the top with another clubbing blow.  Valentine continues working over Davey and drops him with a shoulder breaker, but foolishly picks him up at 2.  Smith throws Valentine into the Bulldog’s corner, where he collides head first with Dynamite.  Smith covers Valentine to get the 3 and capture the tag titles at 12:02.  Finally, a good match!  Ozzy and Captain Lou celebrate while Davey Boy helps up the knocked loopy Dynamite at ringside.  Mean Gene talks to Ozzy and Captain Lou.  He finally manages to talk to Davey Boy.  Replay of the pretty sick finish.

That’s it for Chicago!  Back to Vince and Susan in New York to talk about what’s still to come in the Los Angeles portion of the show.

Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira will host the LA portion of the show.  Lee Marshall is the ring announcer.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat.  Hercules immediately goes on the attack.  Steamboat fires back with a karate chop and a pair of arm drags.  He attacks Hercules’ arm.  Steamboat leap frogs Herc a bunch and nails him with an elbow.  Steamboat with a suplex, then back to the arm.  Herc blasts Steamboat with a clothesline and hits him with some vicious knees.  Herc hot shots Steamboat into the ropes and beats on him some more.  Steamboat tries to fight back, but almost gets pinned.  Elvira is extremely annoying on commentary.  Herc drops Steamboat with an elbow, then drops a couple more elbows on him.  Cover gets 2.  Steamboat chops Herc.  Herc avoids another chop and drops Steamboat with a discus lariat for 2.  Herc with a press slam.  Herc with another press slam.  Herc comes off the top with a dive, but gets caught by Steamboat’s knees.  Steamboat off the top with a diving crossbody for the pin at 7:33.  It wasn’t bad.

Man, Adrian Adonis sure has changed since we last saw him at The Wrestling Classic.  He was a rough a tough type then… now he’s a cross dresser with bad makeup.

“Adorable” Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Uncle Elmer.  Hart sprays Elmer with perfume, so he chases Hart and Adonis out of the ring, where they hug.  Elmer attacks Adonis we gets back into the ring. No opening bell that I heard. Adonis Flair flips in the corner, then falls out of the ring.  He gets back in and Elmer knocks him out of the ring again.  Elmer rips Adonis’ dress, then knocks him into the ropes where he gets tied up.  When Adonis gets untied, he finally goes on the attack.  He takes off the remains of his dress.  Elmer with the Avalanche in the corner, then he goes for a leg drop, but Adonis avoids it.  Adonis off the top with a headbutt/splash for the pin in about 3 minutes.  This sucked.

Lord Alfred interviews Hogan.

The Funk Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Junkyard Dog & Tito Santana.  Dory has been given the name “Hoss” for whatever reason.  Terry throws chairs in the ring.  The faces throw them out.  Dory and JYD lock up.  JYD slams both of the Funks, then they bail.  Tito and Terry tag in.  Terry throws some vicious sounding chops.  Tito clotheslines him out of the ring.  Dory jumps in and eats a couple of Tito’s dropkicks, then rolls out himself.  Tag to JYD.  He lands some punches on Terry, then rams his head into the turnbuckle repeatedly.  JYD with a headbutt for 2.  JYD throws Terry out of the ring.  I swear, the Funks have spent more time on the outside of the ring than in it during this match.  Tag to Dory.  Tag to Tito.  Tito with a flying jalapeno for 2, as Terry saves.  Dory and Tito run the ropes, but Terry catches Tito with a knee to the back.  Terry tags in and throws Tito to the floor, where Jimmy puts the boots to him.  JYD runs him off.  Funks put the boots to Tito.  JYD runs Hart off again and helps Tito back into the ring.  Terry with a suplex for 2.  He argues with referee Dave Hebner.  Tito counters another suplex attempt with one of his own.  Terry and Tito knock heads.  Tag to Dory.  Dory with the Texas suplex for 2.  Funks continue to work over Tito.  Hot tag to JYD.  JYD cleans house.  Terry chokes JYD with a rope,  JYD backdrops Terry out of the ring.  JYD kicks their asses on the outside.  JYD decks Jimmy Hart.  JYD with an inside cradle on Terry.  Dory saves.  Tito puts Dory in the figure-four.  The referee makes Tito leave the ring.  Jimmy throws Terry the megaphone.  Terry hits JYD in the head with it for the pin at 11:44.  Okay match.

They set up the cage.  It’s a special reinforced cage so King Kong Bundy won’t go through the side, the famous big blue cage.

They show what led up to Hogan/Bundy in a cage, a brutal attack by Bundy and Don Muraco on Saturday Night’s Main Event.  They show Hogan lifting weights with Hillbilly Jim and a doctor, while Gene talks to them about Hogan’s injuries.

Ventura interviews Bundy and Bobby Heenan.

Elvira, who is awful, throws it to New York with Vince and Susan, who is almost as awful.  They talk, then back to LA.

Marshall introduces the guest ring announcer for the main event, Tommy Lasorda.  Lasorda introduces the the guest thimekeeper, Ricky Schroder, and the guest referee, Robert Conrad.  Well, at least I know who Rick Schroder is.

Steel Cage Match for the WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby Heenan).  Hogan has taped ribs.  They start brawling.  Hogan chokes Bundy with his own singlet.  Elvira says this match resembles a horror movie.  I agree, but probably for different reasons.  Bundy tires of getting beat up by the walrus and attacks Hogan’s ribs.  Bundy tries to escape through the door.  Hogan stops him, so Bundy picks up Hogan and rams his back into the cage.  Bundy takes the bandage off of Hogan’s ribs and chokes him with it.  He ties Hogan to the bottom rope and tries to leave.  Hogan gets free and chokes Bundy with the tag rope.  Hogan rams Bundy head first into the cage.  Hogan beats up Bundy a bit.  Bundy is bleeding.  Hogan tries to slam Bundy, who falls on top of him.  Hogan chokes Bundy with the bandage from earlier.  Bundy fights back.  Avalanche and a big splash by Bundy.  Bundy tries to escape again.  Hogan stops him.  Hogan avoids another avalanche and slams Bundy, then hits the leg drop.  Bundy tries to stop Hogan, but Hogan kicks him off the ropes and to the floor.  Hogan escapes over the top at 10:20.  Bundy goes out through the door a moment later.  Just to show what a role model he is, Hogan throws Heenan into the cage and beats him up after the match, then celebrates.

So that’s WrestleMania II.  Man, it sucked.  The only redeeming thing is the Bulldogs’ title win over the Dream Team.