Archive for Last Man Standing Match

TNA Against All Odds 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2011 by Grappleholic

Very cool opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  They talk about what’s going down tonight and announce that Generation Me couldn’t make it due to travel issues, so they’re out of the Three-Way #1 Contender Match with Robbie E.

Robbie E. and Cookie come out.  Robbie blathers like a retard.  Since Gen Me couldn’t make it, he’s #1 Contender by default.  He wants the referee to count them out and raise his hand in victory.  The referee rings the bell and counts them out.  Robbie wins by forfeit.  He’s going to get his title shot tonight, and apparently doesn’t know it.  Kazarian comes out to inform him.  He calls Cookie a filthy garden gnome, so that’s awesome.  Robbie is upset to be getting a title shot for some reason.  Kazarian attacks Robbie and throws him into the ring.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  Kazarian beats up Robbie.  Yay!  Cookie tries to trip Kazarian, but he stomps her hand.  Kazarian hits a spin kick for 2.  Kazarian kicks Robbie off the apron and goes up top.  Cookie tries to fuck with him.  Kazarian grabs her.  Robbie drops Kazarian and makes him face plant into the steps.  Robbie ramps Kazarian’s arm into the steps for good measure.  Back inside, Kazarian tries to rally and eats a boot.  Robbie hits a diving fist drop for 2.  Cookie chokes Kazarian behind the referee’s back.  Robbie hits a side Russian leg sweep or something similar for 2.  Robbie ground Kazarian with a rear chin lock.  Kazarian avoids Robbie in the corner and hits a springboard dropkick.  Kazarian makes his comeback and hits a rebound leg drop for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver, but Robbie counters and goes for the neckbreaker.  They trade cradles.  Kazarian hits the Axe Guillotine Driver (which apparently he calls the Fade To Black) for the pin in 7:11.  Okay match.

Christy Hemme interviews Scott Steiner and TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Typical Steiner rambling.  He massages Roode’s shoulders and Roode tries to translate what he said into English.

AJ Styles comes out to join Tenay and Taz for commentary.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Rob Terry, Gunner, & Murphy of Immortal vs. Scott Steiner & TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Gunner and Murphy finally have wrestling gear.  Steiner and Gunner lock up.  Steiner shoulder blocks him, then chops the shit out of him.  Gunner tries to do something cute and gets overhead suplexed.  Murphy comes in and gets one for himself.  Terry tags in and poses.  Steiner is unimpressed.  Beer Money distracts the referee.  Steiner kicks Terry square in the balls and lands a STEINER LINE~!, then drops an elbow and does some push ups.  Murphy tags and locks up with Steiner.  Storm tags in and beats up Murphy.  Storm hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Murphy tags in.  Storm avoids a kick and hits a knee to the face and a neckbreaker for 1.  Gunner tries to through Storm out of the ring.  Storm skins the cat back in and hits a flurry of offense.  Storm lands corner punches.  The heels cut Storm off and work him over.  Storm hits Terry with a Lung Blower.  Gunner tries to cut Storm off again, but Storm kicks him away and makes the hot tag to Roode.  Roode wins wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Terry accidentally hits Murphy.  BEER!  MONEY! double suplex on Terry.  Gunner decks Storm.  Roode hits the spinebuster on Gunner, then Murphy.  Terry tries to chokeslam Roode, but Roode counters and gives him a spinebuster too.  Gunner goes up top.  Roode cuts him and tags in Steiner.  FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP ROPE!  Steiner pins Gunner in 10:12.  Fun match!

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Devon, who has decided that his sons aren’t going to be in the match.

Pope/Joe video package.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe.  Pope has “Pope’s Gonna Kill You” on the back of his trunks.  He bails because he’s a pussy.  Pope finally kicks Joe in the gut and attacks.  Joe goes for the choke.  Pope escapes and bails again.  Pope tries to leave, but Okato (the former Kazuchika Okada) appears and forces Pope back to ringside.  He has a Kato mask on him.  Joe hits an elbow suicida and throws Pope back into the ring.  Pope rallies, hits a suplex, and poses.  Joe no sells and kicks his ass.  Joe hits the face wash in the corner.  Pope pokes Joe in the eyes to regain the initiative and puts a hurting on Joe.  Joe rallies and makes his comeback.  Senton splash gets 2.  Snap powerslam gets 2.  Pope lands a knee to the face and removes a turnbuckle pad.  Joe avoids having his face rammed into the exposed buckle.  Pope gets a reverse cradle, but Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch.  Pope immediately submits in 8:32.  It was okay.  Pope applauds Joe and offers to shake his hand.  Joe refuses.  Pope cheap shots him, drops Okato, and rams Joe’s head into the exposed turnbuckle.  Pope hits the Elijah Express.  Joe is bleeding and pissed off.  Pope runs away.

Christy Hemme interviews Mickie James.

Mickie James/Madison Rayne hype video.

Last Knockout Standing Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Mickie James.  Madison goes for a punch with the loaded glove, which is perfectly legal.  Mickie avoids the shot and beats her up.  They go outside and Madison punches the post.  Mickie hits her head on the steps and makes it up at about 4.  Back inside, they counter each others’ finish.  They fight on the ramp.  Madison clubs Mickie in the back with the loaded glove and goes to work on her back.  Mickie reverses Madison into the post.  Back in the ring, Madison hits her finish.  Mickie recovers and rallies.  They brawl outside.  Madison crawls under the ring.  Mickie follows.  They both come out the other side.  That was utterly pointless.  Mickie accidentally punches the steps.  Mickie kicks her.  Mickie throws Madison back into the ring to break the count, then goes up top.  Madison cuts her off and throws her to the floor.  Mickie makes it up at 9.  Mickie pulls Madison’s arm across the top rope, then hits the diving Thesz press.  Mickie sort of hits the Mick Kick, then takes Madison’s glove and puts it on.  Tara runs in.  Mickie decks her with the loaded glove.  Madison decks Mickie with brass knuckles and goes for the pin.  Idiot.  10 count.  Madison retains in 8:29.  This wasn’t any good.

Jeff Hardy talks backstage, then paints lines on his face.

Matt Morgan comes out and calls out Hernandez.  Hernandez comes out.  Hernandez is the heel now, despite the fact that Morgan is the one who kicked Hernandez’s head into the post last year.  They banter.  Hernandez is turning this into a racial issue.  He kicks Morgan in the balls and gives him an Attitude Adjustment, of all things.  Hernandez also now walks like a retard who thinks he’s a bad ass.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Hardy, whose nickname is now “Cold Blood.”

Matt Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam.  They lock up.  Hardy powers RVD into the corner.  The ref gets between them.  They trade punches.  RVD’s singlet is really cool looking tonight.  Hardy blocks the monkey flip and sends RVD’s face into the turnbuckle, then drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy pounds on RVD in the corner.  RVD lands a jump kick.  Hardy bails.  RVD goes for an Asai moonsault, but Hardy pulls him down and makes his face plant into the apron.  Hardy tries to suplex RVD into the barricade, but RVD turns it into a front suplex, then hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDAIL LEG DROP~!  Back inside, Hardy hits a DDT for 2.  RVD rolls out of the ring.  Hardy sends RVD into the barricade again.  Back inside, Hardy hits an enzui leg drop for 2.  Hardy beats on RVD.  Hardy locks in a rolling butterfly lock.  RVD gets a foot on the rope.  Matt humps RVD.  I don’t know why either.  Hardy hits the bottom rope decapitator for 2.  Hardy applies a full nelson.  RVD fights out.  Hardy hits a sleeper drop for 2.  Stupid alternating chants.  Hardy applies a cravat hold.  He’s breaking out all kinds of new shit tonight.  Hardy drops RVD and goes up top.  RVD catches him midair with a thrust kick.  RVD makes his comeback.  Hardy avoids the Rolling Thunder, but RVD hits a standing moonsault for 2.  RVD kicks Hardy in the face, hits a front slam, and follows with the split-legged moonsault for 2.  Hardy ducks a kick and hits the Side Effect for 2.  RVD counters the Twist of Hate and drops Hardy with a spin kick.  RVD goes up top.  Hardy cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  They fight over it for a while.  Hardy back body drops RVD off the top rope, then goes for a moonsault press.  RVD avoids it and hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 13:20.  Decent match.  The best thing on the show so far, which is kind of sad.

Christy Hemme interviews Bully Ray, who bullies her, then talks shit about Devon’s kids.

Ray/Devon hype video.

Street Fight: Bully Ray vs. Brother Devon.  Ray tries to jump Devon in the aisle with a chain, but Devon kicks his ass all over ringside.  Devon throws Ray into the ring and brings in some plunder.  Devon lights Bully up with a Singapore cane.  Ray begs off, then cheap shots Devon.  Devon canes him in the head.  Awesome.  Devon’s sons come out.  He orders them to the back.  Ray hits Devon in the back with a chair, then spits on his sons again.  Ray beats Devon with weapons and puts his neck in a chair.  The kids attack.  Ray threatens them with the chain.  Devon wakes up and makes his comeback.  Devon hits a back body drop and Bubba audibly says “Oh shit!”  Devon’s son Terrell hits Ray with a trash can.  Terrence and Terrell hold Bubba’s legs open so Devon can hit the Wassup headbutt.  Devon & sons get the table.  Devon sets up the table.  Ray hits him in the balls and handcuffs him to the turnbuckle.  Terrence and Terrell go to help their dad.  Ray cold cocks Terrence.  Terrell kicks Bubba’s ass to a BIG pop.  Bubba clotheslines Terrell to death and pins him in 9:23, which counts for some reason.  Ray spits in Devon’s face and talks shit to him.  He teases hitting Devon with a chair.  Devon calls for useless security.  Ray puts the chair down, then powerbombs Terrence through the table.  Ray leaves.  Devon finally gets cut free so he can check on his kids.  Taz talks in his low, serious voice.  Terrence gets stretchered out while Devon carries Terrell.  Good way to continue the feud.

Jeremy Borash interviews Jeff and Karen Jarrett.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Jarrett/Angle hype video.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ Karen Jarrett) vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  Angle pushes Jarrett into the corner.  Referee forces a break.  Angle takes Jarrett down with a side headlock takeover.  Jarrett gets free and grabs a side headlock.  Angle shoves him away, then invites him to reapply the hold.  Jarrett does, and Angle gives him a backdrop suplex.  They go into an awesome chain wrestling sequence.  Angle hits a snap suplex for 2.  Angle pounds on Jarrett and throws him out of the ring.  He invites Karen over to watch him punch Jeff in the face.  Back inside, Angle hits an elbow smash for 2.  Jarrett avoids Angle’s charge in the corner and Angle spears the most, then falls out of the ring.  Jarrett throws Angle’s injured shoulder into the barricade twice, then takes him back inside to work him over.  Jarrett goes up top, but Angle springs up and suplexes him down in classic Angle fashion.  Angle lands some clotheslines and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle goes for a German, but Jarrett switches around.  Angle rolls through and goes for the ankle lock.  Jarrett escapes.  Angle hits the rolling Germans for 2.  Jarrett lands an enzuigiri and goes for the Stroke.  Angle counters into the ankle lock.  Jarrett rolls through, then charges and crotches himself on the ropes.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Karen distracts the referee.  Jarrett hits Angle in the balls.  Jarrett hits the Stroke for the pi…NO!  Angle kicks out!  Jarrett goes for the Stroke again.  Angle pushes Jarrett away, bumping the ref in the process.  Jarrett uses a distraction from Karen to Pearl Harbor Angle on the outside and send him repeatedly into the steps.  Back inside, Jarrett tries to use a chair, but Angle takes it away.  The referee wakes up to take the chair from Angle.  Jarrett gets a schoolboy for 2.  Angle hits an Exploder for 2.  Angle goes up top.  Karen distracts him.  Jarrett sort of hits the Stroke off the middle rope for 2.  Angle hits a German suplex and drops the straps.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs Karen’s hands and pulls her into the ring.  Jarrett taps while the referee is busy with Karen.  Jarrett clocks Angle with a chair behind the referee’s back and gets the pi…NO!  Angle kicked out again!  Angle gets an inside cradle for 2.  Jarrett squashes a sunset flip and gets a relatively clean pin in 16:18.  Hell of a match.  Angle is very dejected.  He takes his boots off and leaves them in the ring, which in amateur wrestling signifies retirement.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson.

Anderson/Hardy hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  Entrances and intros.  Hebner and Bischoff’s kid are both referees.  That may come into play later.  Borash is a nice dude, but he’s a shitty ring announcer.  They talk.  Hardy spits in Anderson’s face.  Anderson kicks his ass.  Hardy bails and goes after his fugly neon ladder.  They brawl at ringside.  Anderson sends Hardy crashing into the ladder, then drives Hardy into the side of the ring with another ladder.  Back inside, Hardy hits a neckbreaker onto a ladder.  Hardy climbs for his fugly belt, but Anderson stops him and hits a neckbreaker.  Anderson climbs for the belt, but Hardy stops him and kicks him into the corner.  Hardy hits a corner dropkick.  Hardy dropkicks a ladder into Anderson’s balls.  Fucking ow.  Anderson hits a side Russian leg sweep onto the ladder.  Ouch again.  Anderson brings in a second ladder and climbs for the belt.  Hardy climbs up the other side.  They fight at the top of the ladder.  Hardy hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the ladder!  Hardy slams Anderson and goes for his trademark “off the top rope, over the ladder leg drop.”  Anderson avoids it.  Hardy back body drops Anderson onto the ladder in the corner.  Ouch.  Hardy sets a ladder upside down for some reason, then beats on Anderson.  They go outside again.  Hardy tries to hit Anderson with the fugly neon ladder, but Anderson avoids it and sends it into Hardy’s face.  Hardy sends Anderson into the steps, injuring his wrist.  Hardy uses the steps to hit the Whisper In The Wind against the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy tries to front suplex Hardy into the upside down ladder.  Anderson counters, suplexes Hardy sort of at the ladder, and knocks the whole mess over.  Anderson climbs for the belt.  Hardy pulls him off and hits the Twist of Hate.  Hardy has the referee hand him his neon ladder.  He tries to do something to Anderson, but Anderson counters with the Lambea Leap onto the ladder.  Anderson goes for the Kenton Bomb, but Hardy avoids it.  Hardy sets up two ladders side by side and climbs.  Anderson follows.  They fight on top of the ladders.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check, but they both just kind of fall in a big, painful looking mess.  Hardy kicks Anderson out of the ring, climbs the ladder, and takes the belt down to regain the title in 18:16.  Okay if sort of sloppy match.  Match highlights.  Hardy celebrates with his ugly belt and his awful entrance music.

This show was pretty average for the most part, but Angle/Jarrett was really good.

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 1/7/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, hype video for tonight’s matches, Smackdown open.  Josh Matthews, Matt Striker, and Michael Cole are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Last Man Standing Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Kane.  They brawl.  They both take some moves and get up early in the count.  Edge low bridges Kane out of the ring, then knocks him into the barricade.  They brawl outside and backstage.  They end up the stands.  Kane goes for a chokeslam, but it doesn’t happen.  They brawl in the concession area.  Kane steals a wheelchair from a crippled guy and tries to push Edge down some stairs.  Edge bails out of the chair at the last second and boots Kane in the face.  They brawl some more.  Commercials.  They brawl back to ringside.  Kane clears off the announce table.  Edge sends Kane into the steps for a near fall.  Back in the ring, Kane catches Edge coming off the top with a thrust punch.  Edge gets up at around 8.  Kane slams him, then goes up top.  Edge avoids the diving lariat and hits the Implant DDT.  They get up slowly.  Edge goes for the spear, but Kane hits the chokeslam.  Edge makes it up and stumbles out of the ring.  Kane follows.  Kane goes for a Tombstone on the steps, but Edge sort of counters it into the Edge-O-Matic.  Kane barely makes it up in time.  Edge goes for the spear, but Kane boots him in the face.  Kane chokeslams Edge through the announce table.  Edge uses Matt Striker to get up just in time.  Back inside, Kane brings in some chairs and goes up top.  Edge throws a chair at his head.  Edge beats on Kane’s leg with a chair, then hits the spear.  Edge hits a con-chair-to to Kane’s knee.  Kane is unable to answer the count, so Edge wins in 20:15.  Man, this was long and uninteresting.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

The announce table is destroyed~!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kofi Kingston.  They show Kofi getting screwed out of the title in the Triple Threat Match last week.  Kofi is good and pissed off and beats up Ziggler.  Ziggler catches him with a boot to the face and beats him up.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick.  Ziggler avoids the diving cross body and beats on Kofi for a while.  Kofi rallies and lands some of his silly chops and a dropkick.  Ziggler counters the S.O.S. and gets a schoolboy for nothing.  Kofi comes back and hits the Boom Drop.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Ziggler ducks and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Kofi breaks free and hits the S.O.S. for 2.  Kofi goes up top.  Ziggler cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  Kofi turns it into a front suplex, then hits the diving cross body for the pin in 5:29.  Ziggler blind sides Kofi and hits the Zig Zag.  Vickie obnoxiously screams that since Teddy Long isn’t here, she’s in charge, and as such, Ziggler gets a rematch RIGHT NOW!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler beats the piss out of Kofi.  Kofi MANS UP and hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 45 seconds.  As jae would say, Kofi succeeds in V1.

Tonight, Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio in a 2/3 Falls Match!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Dolph Ziggler bitches at Vickie Guerrero backstage.  They argue and break up.  Vickie screams like a banshee.

Raw Rebound.

Drew McIntyre hits on Kelly Kelly backstage.

Next, Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show vs. Drew McIntyre in a #1 Contender Match!  Commercials!

Show, Rhodes, and McIntyre come out for the Triple Threat Match.  Vickie comes out and makes horrible noises that mean Ziggler is in the match too.

Fatal Four-Way Match to determine the #1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship: The Big Show vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Everyone tries to gang up on Show, but he kicks their asses.  He deals out the big chops generously.  He rids the ring of McIntyre and Ziggler so he can beat up Rhodes.  Show gets some covers, but Ziggler saves.  Show beats up Ziggler and covers him instead, but McIntyre saves.  Show throws him out of the ring again.  Show gives Rhodes the stink face, then chops him.  I’d be dead at this point.  Show hits the Hog Log on Ziggler, but Rhodes sucks it up and saves.  Rhodes tries to beat up Show and fails hilariously.  McIntyre still can’t get into the mix.  Ziggler ducks a big chop.  Ziggler and Rhodes try to double team Show, but Show throws them both outside.  Show goes outside and beats up McIntyre.  McIntyre slips off of Show’s back and sends his head into the post.  The 3 smaller guys send Show through the barricade.  Commercials.  Rhodes gets a 2 count on Ziggler.  Rhodes goes up for a moonsault!  That bastard McIntyre throws him to the floor on top of Big Show.  McIntyre beats up Ziggler.  Rhodes come back in and brawls with Ziggler.  McIntyre comes back in and clocks them both.  Big Show wakes up.  McIntyre goes after him, but gets dropped.  Show makes it back in and runs wild on Rhodes and Ziggler.  Wade Barrett appears and attacks Show for some reason.  Barrett gives Show a diving elbow drop and leaves.  Rhodes hits Show with the Beautiful Disaster for 2.  Ziggler scampers in and hits the Zig Zag on Show for the pi… no~!  Show kicks out.  McIntyre gives Show the Future Shock for 2.  2!  Show is a beast!  McIntyre comes off the top, but Show catches him and throws him out of the ring again.  Ziggler convinces Rhodes to team up with him, then immediately turns traitor and hits Rhodes with the Zig Zag for the pin in 13:54.  Really fun match.  Ziggler kisses Vickie.  Gross.

Tonight, Del Rio vs. Mysterio 2/3 Falls!  Commercials!

Ezekiel Jackson hype video.  He returns to Smackdown SOON!

Michelle McCool (w/ Layla) vs. Kelly Kelly.  They lock  up.  McCool beats up Kelly.  Kelly does a headscissors tarantula deal, then shoves Layla at ringside.  McCool beats up Kelly again.  Kelly makes her comeback and goes for the K2.  Layla distracts her.  McCool hits the Styles Clash for the pin in 1:39.  At least it was quick and painless.  LayCool give Kelly a double Stroke.  I’ll keep my dirty thoughts to myself.  Drew McIntyre comes out and orders LayCool to leave, then tends to Kelly.

The main event is NEXT!  Commercials!

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio cuts a promo.  The match is next for real this time!  Commercials!

2/3 Falls Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Del Rio takes the early advantage and puts a beating on Mysterio.  Mysterio rallies and goes for an early 619.  Del Rio avoids it and hits the Minoru Special for the submission in 1:31!  Commercials!  Del Rio continues working on Mysterio’s arm.  Del Rio throws Mysterio, who does his sliding bump to the floor.  Mysterio comes back and hits a springboard rana!  Mysterio fails some wonky thing.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special again.  Mysterio turns it into a cradle for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619 again, fails, but gets a la magistral for the pin in 7:27.  It’s all tied up!  Commercials!  Del Rio is back to working the arm.  They fight on the top rope.  Mysterio fights him off, then jumps off and headbutts him!  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio hits something else for 2.  I looked away for half a second and missed it.  Del Rio hits a Codebreaker to the arm for 2.  Mysterio hits a sweet flippy DDT for 2.  Mysterio goes up top, but Del Rio chop blocks him.  Mysterio hangs from the tree of woe.  Del Rio dropkicks him.  They fight on top.  Del Rio pulls Mysterio’s injured arm down across the top rope.  Mysterio rallies and hits a modified 619 that knocks Del Rio off the apron to the floor.  Rodriguez helps Del Rio up.  Mysterio comes off the top rope and wipes out both of them.  Mysterio rolls Del Rio back into the ring.  Rodriguez grabs Mysterio’s foot, causing him to get counted out in 17:01.  Del Rio wins!  Pretty good match.  Del Rio’s heel act is so great.  Mysterio kicks Rodriguez’s ass after the match and gives him the 619.

They show highlights of the earlier Four-Way Match.  Next week, Big Show vs. Wade Barrett!

Mysterio celebrates his moral victory as the show closes.

This was a pretty fun and eventful show.

WWE Monday Night Raw 6/22/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then the “this stuff happened last week” video.  New Raw open, featuring Donald Trump.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Trump Raw, LIVE and commercial free from Green Bay, Wisconsin!  Tonight, Triple H vs. Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship!

Lillian Garcia introduces Donald Trump, who comes out escorted by either Kelly Kelly or some other generic blond bimbo.  He plays a total babyface, talking about how Vince is a taker, but he is a giver.  He says he’s going to refund everyone’s ticket money.  I could rant here, but I digress…

John Cena comes out and basically repeats what Trump just said, but adds that he has a match with Big Show tonight.  They show a video package of The Miz making fun of Cena recently, then Cena calls him out.  Miz calls him a coward from the stage.  Cena challenges him to come to the ring and say that, so Miz does.  Cena vs. Miz is made for the Bash.  Cena talks about all the stuff he’s been through and he’s never been rattled.  Cena completely tears him down.  I hope he doesn’t job him out that bad at the PPV.  Miz cheap shots Cena and runs away.

Earlier today: Vince McMahon’s limo broke down.  Vince tries to make the driver give him a piggy back ride to the arena (a short walk from where they were standing).  Funny segment.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham are at the commentary with Kentucky Grilled Chicken.  Tonight is Mr. McMahon’s farwell address.  Now, we have a Smackdown match!

Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio Jr., & Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Edge, WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, & Dolph Ziggler.  World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk comes down to do commentary.  Khali destroys Ziggler, who quickly tags Jericho.  Khali throws the heel team out of the ring.  Jeff takes them all out with a cannonball dive, then Mysterio dives off of Khali’s shoulders onto them.  Khali heads up top, but Jericho attacks him.  23 minutes until the Last Man Standing Match!  Mysterio tags in against Jericho.  He goes for the 619, but Edge prevents it.  Jericho drops him with a lariat.  Rey plays face in peril for a minute or so, then makes the hot tag to Hardy.  Hardy hits the front suplex on Ziggler, then Edge spears him.  Khali goes for the choke bomb, but Jericho prevents it.  Jericho hits a half assed Codebreaker.  Mysterio hits a double 619 on Edge and Jericho, then an Asai moonsault on Jericho.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb on Ziggler for the win at 5:11.  Punk comes in and raises Jeff’s hand.  Jeff, the poor sport he is, gets pissed and leaves.

Vince tries to go into Trump’s locker room, but it’s locked.  Santina Marella introduces his/her/itself to him.  Funny segment.  Trump comes out.  Vince is mad Trump took his office.  Trump says Vince’s office is down the hall.  Trump fires Santina.  She runs away as Santino steps into frame.  He is initially upset, but gets over it.  Clever.

The Colons come out and make fun of Ted Dibiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes and say they’ll beat them at The Bash.

Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Primo Colon (w/ Carlito) vs. Cody Rhodes (w/ Ted Dibiase Jr.).  They trade armlocks, then Rhodes kicks Primo’s ass.  Primo makes a comeback.  Jackknife hold gets 2.  Rhodes hits a Russian leg sweep for 2.  Primo gets an inside cradle for 2.  Primo hits a diving cross body, but Rhodes rolls through and pulls the tights for the pin at 3:54.

Vince finds Goldust and Hornswoggle and the locker room.  Goldust reminds Vince that Horny was once his bastard son.  Goldust puts his wig on Vince.  Vince yells at him, then finds his office: a toilet, which Festus was using.

Triple H/Orton video package.  I’m so sick of these two.

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H. They fight.  I’m bored.  Orton attacks Triple H’s knee.  Orton nails him with the ring steps, then keeps working the knee.  Orton tries to use a chair, but Triple H kicks it into his face.  Orton nails him in the head with the chair.  Triple H makes it up at 8.  Orton tries to set up something on the announce table, but Triple H hits him with a low blow.  Triple H sets up the Pedigree, but Orton counters and drops him with the RKO on top of the table.  Triple H makes to his feet at 9, then backdrops Orton on the table.  They both make it up at 8.  Triple H nails Orton with a monitor.  They fight up the ramp.  Spinebuster on the ramp by HHH.  Ouch.  Orton makes it up at 9.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton backdrops him out of it.  Hunter miraculously makes it to h is feet.  They’re down off the ramp now.  HHH counters an RKO attempt and pushes Orton over the barricade.  Up again.  Triple H goes for Orton with a ladder.  Orton ducks and and some poor bystander gets murdered.  HHH falls and knocks over another production guy too.  Orton grabs the ladder.  They’re on the stage now.  Orton hits HHH’s injured leg with the ladder, then nails him in the face, then Pillmanizes the leg with it.  Orton tells the ref to stop the count so he can punish Triple H some more.  Orton sets up the ladder.  Orton goes for an RKO off the ladder.  Triple H counters and hits him with the ladder.  Pedigree on the stage.  Triple H can’t make it to his feet because of the bad knee, so it’s a draw at 20:03.  Weak.  Orton retains.  Triple H gets another lick in after the match.  This whole thing was fucking lame.

Punk/Hardy Bash hype.

Another Miz/Maryse segment.

This Friday on Smackdown, Hardy & Mysterio vs. Edge & Jericho in a Steel Cage Match!

Trump comes out again, this time escorted by Maria and Eve.  Trump says instead of a General Manager, he’s going to appoint a celebrity host every week.  He says something about WrestleMania XXVI, then Vince comes out.  Trump wants to make Raw free and with no commercials every week.  Ricockulous.  Vince wants to buy back Raw.  Trump says no.  Vince keeps offering more money, but Trump keeps shooting him down.  Trump finally agrees with Vince offers him double what he paid.  Vince fires Trump, then Trump slaps him.  This whole fucking angle was pointless.

Clips of the Cena/Show feud, which I’m every bit as sick of as I am Triple H vs. Orton.

Vince tells Dibiase and Rhodes to leave, then tells Orton he’s facing Triple H at the Bash in a 3 Stages of Hell 2/3 Falls Match (Regular match, Falls Count Anywhere match, and Stretcher match).

This Thursday on Superstars: Kofi Kingston defends the United States Championship against MVP and Matt Hardy in a Triple Threat Match.

Mickie James & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Beth Phoenix, & Rosa Mendez.  Heels get heat on one of the Bellas.  Hot tag to Mickie, who hits a neckbreaker on Rosa.  Beth saves.  Bellas dropkick her.  Maryse distracts Mickie and Rosa tries to hit her from behind, but Mickie nails her with a superkick for the pin at 5:06.

Clips of Cena and a Cubs game.

Cole and Lawler are in the ring to run down the Bash card.

The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena hits Show with a shoulder block that sends him out of the ring.  Show hot shots Cena into the barricade.  Back in the ring, Show spears him.  I love the Show spear.  Show works Cena over.  Cena fights back with… a headlock.  Show backdrops him.  I cringe.  Cover gets 2.  Show keeps killing him.  Cena makes a comeback and bitches the diving Fameasser, then hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show gets the chokeslam out of nowhere, but Cena kicks out.  Boo.  Show’s Vader Bomb gets 2.  Cena avoids the camel clutch and locks in the STF with no problem, even though they just had a long boring PPV match based on the fact that Cena couldn’t put it on Show.  Miz runs down.  Cena decks him.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Miz pushes them down and Show gets the pin at 10:25.  Miz poses over Cena.

Triple H jumps Orton in the parking lot and slams the trunk of Orton’s car on his back.  Triple H tells Orton he’s going to hell this Sunday.  Fin.  And thank God.  This show sucked.

TNA Hard Justice 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  The start of the PPV intro video is an AWESOME Law & Order parody.

Generic blond tries to interview Sting as he arrives at the arena, but he ignores her questions.

Some shitty rap group performs.  After they’re done, we get the fireworks, then the World’s Worst Commentary Team, Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE from Trenton, New Jersey.  They run down the card for tonight.  They run down the X Factors for the X Division Title Match, which will be kicking off the show.

TNA X Division Championship Match:
Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Consequences Creed.  They start with a really good exchange that Creed gets the better of.  Williams takes a press slam into a gutbuster and bails, so Creed hits a suicide dive onto him.  Williams gets back in the ring and distracts the referee so Khan can get in a cheap shot that lets Williams take control.  Williams sends Creed to the outside and hits his suicide rana.  Williams keeps control until Creed nails a kick to start his comeback.  Creed hits a springboard bulldog and his punch combo for a near fall.  Williams hits a Russian leg sweep and signals for the Candian Destroyer, but doesn’t hit it.  Some other stuff happens that I couldn’t type because my wife was making me put stuff on a shelf, then Petey locks in the Sharpshooter.  Creed gets a rope break.  Williams beats on Creed, but Creed hits a German and the Creed-DT.  Creed hits a diving legdrop and covers, but Petey manages to kick out.  Rhaka Khan comes in the ring and Creed gives her the TKO.  Petey goes for the Destroyer, but Creed counters and hits a Beach Break-like move.  Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out and nails Creed with a chair, allowing Petey to hit the Canadian Destroyer for the win at 12:30.  Good match.  Bashir cuts an Anti-American promo after the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash.  Joe says he’s focused and he’s tired of Sting’s crap.  Nash tells Joe he needs to focus on Booker T, and he leaves to talk to Sting.  Joe then has words for Booker about their match tonight.

Hype video for the six-woman tag team match.

Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) & The Beautiful People vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Taylor Wilde, Gail Kim, & ODB.  Traci Brooks is the special referee.  ODB does all of her laughable stupid taunts, much to disgust of Angelina Love.  She tags in Velvet Sky, who is offended by ODB’s body odor.  Sky sprays perfume on her.  ODB takes the perfume and sprays it on her crotch.  Gail tags in and we finally get some wrestling.  Sky quickly tags Love back in.  Wilde tags in and gets the better of Love.  Kong tags in and goes after Wilde.  Wilde quickly tags out to Kim, who also gets thrown around by Kong.  ODB tags in and trades blows with Kong.  Kong smashes Wilde and Kim, but ODB can hang with her.  Wilde and Kim double team her and take her down.  ODB low bridges a charging Kong and sends her out of the ring.  Saeed trips up ODB and Brooks ejects her.  ODB spits her booze in Kong’s face.  Kong smashes her and allows Sky to get a near fall.  Sky ties up ODB with an Octopus stretch.  ODB escapes and tags in Kim as Love tags in on the other side.  Love chokes Kim and Brooks forces her to break.  Love gets in her face.  Love continues to beat on Kim until Wilde tags in and cleans her clock.  Kong tags in and sets up Wilde for the Awesome Bomb, but Kim prevents it.  Everybody starts brawling.  Wilde pins Love with a front cradle at 11:28.  Match wasn’t bad.

Generic Blonde follows Team 3D as they go to find Sting in the rafters of the building.  They discover that Ray is scared of heights.  They just yell and hope he hears them.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money (w/ Jacqueline).  One of the rappers from earlier performs LAX’s entrance theme live.  They brawl outside the ring before the match starts.  Homicide throws Roode in the ring to officially start the match.  LAX double teams Roode.  Hernandez hits a long stalling suplex.  Homicide brings Storm in and kicks his ass too.  Beer Money double team Homicide outside the ring, but Hernandez hits them with the suicide dive.  First “THAT WAS AWESOME!” chant of the night.  Homicide beats up Roode in the ring.  Storm spits beer in Homicide’s eyes, which allows Roode to get the advantage.  Beer Money build the heat on Homicide, who is kayfabe injured from Beer Money putting him through a glass table recently.  Homicide tries to fight back, but Beer Money continues to destroy him.  Storm hits a swank DDT off the ropes on Homicide for a near fall, then a nice knee kick for the same.  Roode antagonizes the crowd by giving Homicide the Three Amigos.  Roode goes for a frog splash, but Homicide rolls out of the way and makes the hot tag.  Hernandez destroys both of them and covers Storm after a spinebuster, but Roode saves.  Beer Money double team Hernandez and Storm gets a near fall after Roode hits a blockbuster.  Homicide tags back in and hits a double dropkick on both of Beer Money.  Homicide suplexes Storm and goes up top.  Jacqueline tries to stop him, but Homicide kicks her away and hits the frog splash for a near fall.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Storm.  Hernandez takes care of Roode, but Storm gives him a Lungblower.  Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter on Storm and Beer Money bails.  Hernandez Border Tosses Homicide out of the ring onto Beer Money.  Hernandez throws Roode back in the ring and charges him, but Roode low bridges him.  Salinas and Jacqueline get into a cat fight.  In the ring, Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Storm, but Roode breaks a beer bottle over Homicide’s head and allows Storm to get the pin and win the titles at 14:05.  Really good formula tag match.

Kevin Nash tries to talk Sting out of whatever he’s planning to do tonight.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt/So Cal Val love triangle video package.

Black Tie Brawl & Chain Match:
“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  They’ll wrestle chained together and wearing tuxedos.  You win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Lethal’s family is shown in the crowd, as we’re in his home state.  Lethal cleverly secures his side of the chain to the ring rope and beats on Dutt.  The referee finally chains up Lethal so the match officially starts.  Dutt hits a low blow with the chain and beats up Lethal.  Lethal dodges a fist drop with the chain and fights back.  Dutt bails and Lethal hits a suicide cross body.  Dutt tries to get away, but they’re chained together.  Moron.  Lethal dies Dutt to the ringpost with the chain and beats on him until Dutt ducks a blow and Lethal punches the post.  Lethal strangles Dutt with the chain and Val pleads with him to stop.  Val leaves, which distracts Lethal and allows Dutt to pull him into the post.  Dutt pulls Lethal’s jacket and shirt off.  Dutt beats on Lethal and taunts his family.  Crowd chants “BORING.”  Dutt goes for a springboard dive, but Lethal yanks the chain and Dutt takes a nasty bump.  Lethal throws Dutt around with the chain and gooes for the Lethal Combination, but Dutt counters.  Lethal hits another move for a two count.  I thought you could only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Dutt hits the Sonjay Cutter for a near fall.  Dutt goes for a diving move, but misses.  Lethal hits a cool rolling Fisherman buster.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination and the diving elbow drop for the win at 11:19… even though you can only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  It’s TNA and we know they’re retarded, so I digress.  They made a good brawl out of a silly gimmick.

Jeremy Borash is in the locker room with Booker T and Sharmell.  Booker still has possession of the World Title belt, even though Joe is the champion.  Booker has words for Samoa Joe, then they drink champagne.

Team 3D/Christian & Rhino video package.

Jersey Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Christian Cage & Rhino.  They start with the brawling you’d expect, then Bubba tosses Christian into the air and Christian takes an awesome bump… very similar to the one Sonjay took in the previous match.  It’s the same problem I saw with the show I watched yesterday, too many of the matches have the same shit in them.  They brawl in the crowd for a while, then back in the ring Christian hits Bubba with a sign that says “CHRISTIAN USE MY SIGN.”  Bubba throws the steps into the ring and Devon hits Rhino with them.  Tenay and West have one of those moments that make me remember how awful and annoying they are.  Christian slams Bubba’s race into the steps, then tries to hit him with a Detour sign.  Bubba moves and hits the Bubba Bomb off the steps for a near fall.  Crowd chants “WE WANT TABLES!”  There’s a funny spot where Devon charges Christian, who holds up a stop sign.  Rhino Gores Devon and covers, but Bubba breaks it.  Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Bubba counters and hits an electric chair drop.  Rhino rams Devon’s head repeatedly into Bubba’s balls.  Bubba hits a superbomb on Christian.  Christian kicks out of the cover.  3D finally brings in a table.  Rhino and Christian set up a ladder.  Christian hits a frog splash off the ladder on Bubba.  Rhino Gores Bubba into a table that doesn’t break for the win at 15:22.  The match was your typical plunder based brawl, not awful but nothing special.  Johnny Devine runs in and attacks Christian and Rhino with a Singapore cane.  Abyss makes the save, giving Devine the Black Hole Slam.

Generic blond interviews AJ Styles, then we get a video package of his history with Kurt Angle.  The angle (no pun intended) here is that AJ supposedly nailed Kurt’s wife.

Last Man Standing Match: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles.  Angle stalls for a bit at the beginning, bailing every time AJ approaches him.  Styles chases Angle around the ring.  Angle gets in first and gets the advantage.  AJ fights back, then Angle rakes his eyes.  AJ ducks Angle and hits a dropkick, then clotheslines him out of the ring and hits a suicide dive.  AJ gets Angle back in the ring and kicks his ass.  Angle begs off, then throws AJ through the ropes.  Angle suplexes AJ into the guardrail.  Ouch.  Angle goes for a pinall, so I guess it’s Texas Death Match rules here.  They fight up the ramp, where AJ suplexes Angle and gets a two count.  Angle suplex Styles off the stage, then does a somersault onto him!  Cover gets two.  They fight back to the ring, where Angle clamps on a sleeper hold.  AJ fights out and blasts Angle with a kick.  Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly.  Angle beats up AJ some more and clamps on a headlock.  AJ fights back and gets in some blows, then they catch each other with cross body blocks.  They get back up and AJ hits his springboard forearm.  Styles puts Angle in the Torture Rack, then hits a move out of it for a near fall.  AJ goes for the Styles Clash, but Angle counters and goes for the ankle lock.  AJ counters and hits a spinebuster.  Angle catches Styles coming off the top rope and powerbombs him for a near fall, then tries to hit him with the Styles Clash.  Styles counters and puts Angle in the ankle lock.  Angle taps.  Angle beats the count up.  Styles misses the flip reverse DDT and Angle low blows him and hits a German.  Styles ducks a shot and hits the Pele kick.  Angle hits a sort of German off the top rope and gets a pin.  AJ gets up.  Angle hits the Angle Slam and gets another pin.  AJ gets up again and counters the Angle Slam into the Styles Clash for a pin.  Angle gets up at 9.  Styles MURDERS Angle with a DDT off the top rope.  Cover gets three, referee counts ten, and AJ is the winner at 24:52.  Finish was scary, knowing Angle’s history with neck problems.  Match was pretty good.  Medics come out to put Angle on a stretcher.  AJ comes back and suplexes Angle.  The lights go out, and when they came back on Sting has AJ by the head on the ramp.  Sting gives AJ the Scorpion Death Drop.  Nash appears and confronts Sting, but Sting just leaves.  They show highlights of the match, including a few replays of the sick finish.

Samoa Joe/Booker T history video.

Six Sides of Steel with Weapons Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell).  They brawl.  Booker tries to use a Singapore can and fails.  Joe kicks a trash can into Booker’s balls and hits his senton on the trashcan onto Booker.  “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU” chant.  Joe uses the cane, then hammers Booker with punches in the corner.  Booker hits Joe the remnants of the trash can.  Joe ducks a hockey stick shot and nails a kick, then sandwiches Booker’s head with trash can lids for a two count.  Booker kicks a chair into Joe’s face, then blasts him in the head with the chair.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker chokes Joe with a piece of wood and tries to climb out of the cage.  Joe follows and hits an Ace Crusher off the top rope.  Joe hammers Booker and rams his head into the cage.  Booker hits a move for a near fall and locks Joe in a guillotine choke.  I think I hear a “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant directed at referee Earl Hebner.  Let it go, people.  Booker superkicks a trash can lid into Joe’s face for a near fall.  Booker tries to climb out again and they fight on the top rope.  Joe jumps up and kicks him in the head.  Joe takes a hard bump to the canvas and Booker crotches himself on the top rope.  Joe hits his powerslam for a near fall.  Joe hits a powerbomb and locks in the STF.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Booker gets out and hits the Book End on a chair for a near fall.  Booker spinaroonies up and nails the axe kick as the lights go out.  When they come back on, Joe has a familiar looking guitar in his hand.  Joe blasts Booker with the guitar for the pin at 12:46.  Okay plunder match, I guess.

All in all, I give the show a thumbs in the middle.  Top to bottom okay matches.

TNA iMPACT! 10/7/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

Abyss has kidnapped Dixie Carter.  He yells about wanting her to cry and being there when her children were born.  The fuck?  Nobody helps her, despite there being tons of people backstage where they’re walking.  That’s crack TNA security for you.  Abyss pulls her into the arena and yells at or near her.  He rambles about “they.”  NOBODY IS LIFTING A MOTHERFUCKING FINGER TO SAVE THE PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY FROM A LUNATIC WITH A NAIL BOARD AND A BRANDING IRON.  Eric Bischoff finally finishes getting blown by Brooke Adams backstage and comes out.  Bischoff, Gunner, Murphy, Terry Taylor, Pat Kenney, Al Snow, and D’Lo Brown finally show up after their boss has been in danger for 5 minutes.  Bischoff convinces Abyss to unlock Dixie from the handcuffs.  Bischoff yells “CUT!”  Bischoff gets in the ring as Sting, Kevin Nash, and “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero come out.  Commercials.

Eric Bischoff, The Pope, Sting, and Kevin Nash are all in the ring.  Bischoff and Pope discuss amongst themselves this retarded, convoluted storyline that nobody understands.  Sting wants Hogan in the ring.  So he can expose him.  Or something.  Samoa Joe and Jeff Jarrett come out.  Bischoff tells them to stand down.  He talks about Hogan being crippled.  They show video of Hulk Hogan in the hospital, because he is in fact old and crippled.  I hate this fucking company.  LIVE TV AND THEY’RE FUCKING SHOWING FUCKING VIDEO OF THAT PIECE OF SHIT IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL.  Bischoff challenges them to kick his ass.  DO IT!  He books Sting, Nash, & Pope against Jarrett & Joe in a Handicap Match at Bound For Glory.  That’s stupid.

Mickie James shows up.  I’m so pissed at that stupid segment that I don’t even care.

Tonight, a battle royal.

A match for a name and some music is next.  Commercials.

Angle/Hardy/Anderson hype video.

Team 3D (FUCK!  I thought they were gone) are in New York City.  They promise a big announcement at Bound For Glory.  Hopefully it’s that they’re retiring.

For the Rights to the Beautiful People Name: Madison Rayne & Tara vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love & Velvet Sky.  Rayne and Tara jump Love and Sky.  Nobody bothers to ring a fucking bell because they hate wrestling and me.  They get the heat on Angelina.  Velvet tags in and runs wild.  Rayne knees Velvet from the apron, so they get heat on her too.  Miss Tessmacher comes out to take notes.  These are NOT the women you want to learn about wrestling from, Brooke.  Love tags in and runs wild.  Velvet and Love hit stereo leg kicks on Tara.  Love pins Tara in about 3 minutes.  Fucking garbage.  Tessmacher says there’s a special guest referee for their 4-way title match at Bound For Glory.  It’s Mickie James.  Mickie cuts a shitty promo about how she’ll beat whoever wins at BFG for the title.

Mick Foley was in Boston plugging his book and cutting a promo on Ric Flair.

Still to come, a battle royal.

Next, Flair vs. Foley.  Commercials.

Dixie Carter tells Eric Bischoff to fire Abyss.  She says he should have done it a long time ago.  That’s what she gets for expecting Bischoff to be competent or good at his job.  She wants him to fire Abyss in the ring and humiliate him.  That’s stupid.  Also, I’m pretty sure Bischoff and Hogan are “them.”

Last Man Standing Match: Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley.  They lock up.  In a gimmick grudge match.  Flair lands chops and punches.  Foley bleeds from a cut above his eye.  They brawl outside.  Foley hits Flair in the balls, throws him in the ring, and retrieves his barbed wire bat that was hidden under the steps.  Foley hits Flair with the bat and punches him.  Flair is bleeding.  Foley chases Flair to the broadcast table.  They end up on the stage.  Foley drives the barbed wire into Flair’s head.  Flair throws Foley off the stage through a table.  “HOLY SHIT!” chants are bleeped.  I thought Spike TV was television for men, not old ladies.  Commercials.  Flair beats  up Foley, having beaten him with his new book during the break.  Flair brings in thumbtacks.  Foley fights back.  Foley back body drops Flair onto the tacks.  Foley brings in a barbed wire board.  Foley pounds Flair down in the corner, then runs the barbed wire board into him.  They trade chops and punches.  Foley brings in a table.  The mutants chant “FIRE!”  Flair hits Foley in the balls, then puts him on the table and hits him with the barbed wire board.  Flair comes off the top rope and splashes Foley through the table.  They both try to get up.  Flair does the Flair flop into the tacks.  Foley wins in 13:25.  Flair and Foley had a great match.  This was NOT that match.  This was two old men having a TNA garbage match for the sake of having a TNA garbage match, and I expect better from both of them.  I hate this company.  Foley wants Flair to kiss his ass like he promised to last week.  Mutants chant “KISS HIS ASS!”  Fortune come in through the crowd and jump Foley.  EV2.0 come out and run them off.  Flair says Fortune will kick their asses Sunday.

Tenay and Tazz show off the blood on their table.

Eric Bischoff walks backstage.

Eric Bischoff walks to the ring.  They show the retarded bullshit from the beginning of the show again because they’re so proud of it.  He calls out Abyss.  Commercials.  Who is the retard who structures these fucking shows?

Eric Bischoff is still waiting on Abyss.  The wreckage from the Flair/Foley match is still in the ring because everybody is too busy being worthless to clean shit up.  Rob Van Dam comes out.  He’s “1010% sure” about what he’s saying.  He says Abyss stays through Bound For Glory or he quits.

Tommy Dreamer and Rhino were in Philadelphia at some point in the past.

A battle royal is going to happen later.  Commercials are going to happen right now.

House shows.

Orlando Jordan and Eric Young are shown at a fair or something.  There are homosexual overtones.  Why the fuck is Orlando Jordan back on my TV?

Ink Inc. vs. Eric Young & Orlando Jordan.  The gimmick is that since Young fell on his head a while back he’s retarded now.  He is dressed like Ink Inc. with kiddie drawings on his back and doesn’t know whose team he is on.  Neal beats up Jordan.  Good for him.  Jordan beats up Neal, then humps his face.  Moore tags in and runs wild.  Moore hits a moonsault body block on Jordan for 2.  Young comes in and high fives him.  Young helps Moore double team Jordan, then points it out to the ref when Jordan goes for a pin with his foot on the ropes.  Jordan hits Moore in the balls and gets the pin in 3:47.  Fucking garbage.  Young abuses the referee, says he’s the leader of the tag team, and forfeits the match they just won.  They talk about a rematch at the PPV.  I fucking hope not.

We tour Jay Lethal’s family home.

Jeff Hardy, Ken Anderson, and Kurt Angle are all in the battle royal, which is next.  Commercials.

Dixie Carter tells Rob Van Dam that Abyss as fired after Bound For Glory regardless of the result of their match.  Bischoff gives her the termination papers to sign.  She doesn’t read them.  Abyss will be saved when it is revealed that Hogan and Bischoff are “they.”  Dixie tells RVD to take out Abyss.

Robbie E. and Cookie come out.  They’re the Jersey Shore gimmick.  Cookie is Becky Bayless, and she’s super hot, so at least there’s that.  Robbie shoes off his abs.  Becky should show off her tits.  They cut a stupid, obnoxious promo.  I’m pretty sure Robbie E. is Zack Ryder’s twin brother.  Even the Impact Zone mutants hate this shit.  Retarded bullshit.

Bound For Glory hype video with various guys cutting promos.

$100,000 Gauntlet Battle Royal: #1 is Ken Anderson.  #2 is Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  Angle lands a shoulder block.  #3 is Jeff Hardy.  They’re doing entrants every 45 seconds.  They could have spaced it out more, but that Jersey Shore gimmick is so fucking important.  As soon as Hardy gets in the ring, #4 is TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles.  Commercials.  Doug Williams, Sabu, Max Buck, and TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin entered during the break.  #9 is Tommy Dreamer.  #10 is TNA X Division Champion Jay Lethal.  Everybody brawls.  #11 is Jeff Jarrett.  WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF HAVING A GAUNTLET MATCH IF YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE GUYS COME OUT EVERY 45 FUCKING SECONDS?  #12 is “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  #13 is Robert Roode.  Nobody gets eliminated.  #14 is Sting.  Still, nobody gets eliminated.  Commercials.  Jeremy Buck, Raven, and Stevie Richards entered during the break.  Abyss enters and eliminates Williams, Sabu, Lethal, Richards, Sabu, and Raven in short order.  Everybody jumps Abyss.  Abyss dumps Sting.  Kevin Nash enters next.  Nash beats on Abyss.  Nash didn’t even put on wrestling gear.  Matt Morgan enters next and drops Abyss with a clothesline.  Nash and Morgan have a big guy fight.  Samoa Joe is next.  Abyss eliminates Morgan and Nash.  James Storm enters.  Dreamer almost eliminates Abyss.  Angle and Generation Me try to finish Abyss.  Abyss eliminates Generation Me.  TNA World Tag Team Champion Alex Shelley is next.  Joe almost eliminates Hardy, who Taz calls Jarrett.  Kazarian gets eliminated.  I didn’t even know he had entered.  Rhino enters and goes after Abyss.  Styles and Dreamer try to eliminate each other.  Abyss eliminates Rhino.  Jarrett goes for the Stroke on Pope, but Abyss eliminates him.  Abyss eliminates Pope.  The show ends.  I’m going to finish the match on Reaction since I already taped it.  I hate myself for breaking my rule.  Abyss eliminates Shelley as Shelley goes for the Shiranui.  Abyss eliminates Joe.  Beer Money double suplex Dreamer, then Abyss.  BEER!  MONEY!  Roode tries to eliminate Storm.  Storm skins the cat back in.  Roode shoves Storm, then they hug.  Abyss eliminates Roode, then Storm.  Styles hits the Pele kick on Abyss.  Dreamer hits the Spiccoli Driver on Styles.  Abyss eliminates Dreamer.  Abyss press slams Styles out of the ring.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb on Angle.  Abyss eliminates Hardy.  Anderson fights Abyss.  Abyss chokeslams.  Rob Van Dam comes out as the last participant, despite the fact that it’s been several minutes since an entrant.  I fucking hate this company.  RVD hits Abyss with a cross body that eliminates himself.  Abyss tumbles over the top rope too.  That was just dump luck and RVD is an idiot.  Angle and Anderson go at it.  They counter each others’ secondary move.  Angle eliminates Anderson with an Angle Slam out of the ring to win it in 26:32.  Angle celebrates with the money.

Fucking awful piece of shit show.  I fucking hate this company.  I don’t know why I put myself through this shit every week.

WWE Extreme Rules 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Extreme Rules opening video.  KFC presents Extreme Rules!  Pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Baltimore, Maryland!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Justin Roberts announces that the opening contest is a STREET FIGHT!  Triple H’s music plays, but he doesn’t come out.  They go backstage to show Sheamus beating the shit out of Triple H.  They brawl as referees try to separate them.  Sheamus whacks Triple H in the side and back of the head with a pipe.  Teddy Long and some referees finally get Sheamus to back off, then call for the trainer to check on Triple H.

The Unified WWE Tag Team Champions Show Miz come out.  Miz cuts a promo.  He talks about the deal with Bret Hart, and says tomorrow night, Bret will have to say that Show Miz are the greatest tag team of all time.  I thought that deal was off because of the volcano.  Miz talks about wanting competition.  Teddy Long comes out and says he has a team to put against Show Miz, and if that team wins, they get a title shot.  Miz insults the Baltimore sports team and Teddy.  Long adds another team that they’ll have to face if they make it through the first.  Miz runs his mouth some more, so Teddy adds a third team.  Show finally shuts Miz up before Teddy can make it 4.  Just to recap, Show Miz will face 3 teams in a row (providing they keep winning), and if a team beats them, they get a title shot.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth.  Morrison and Miz go at it.  So I guess Morrison DID end up with a PPV match after pinning the World Champion clean on Smackdown.  Truth tags in and they double team Miz.  Truth made quite a comeback from being blown up on Raw.  Show tags in and makes Truth his bitch.  Miz beats up Truth a bit.  Truth drops him with a kick.  Show and Morrison tag in.  Show tries a chokeslam off the top, but Morrison locks in a half assed triangle choke and pulls Show across the top rope with it.  R-Truth takes Miz out with a dive.  The ref DQ’s Morrison for refusing to break the hold in 3:14.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Montel Vontavious Porter & Mark Henry.  MVP covers Show for 2.  MVP goes for the Yakuza kick, but Show blocks it and tags in Miz.  MVP and Henry dominate Miz while Show recovers on the outside.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow on Miz, but Show saves.  Henry comes in and gets dropped by Show.  MVP low bridges Show out of the ring and hits the Playmaker on Miz.  He covers, but Show breaks it by completely missing the KO punch.  Miz pins MVP in 1:55.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/ Bret Hart & Natalya).  The Harts take out Show and hit the springboard Hart Attack on Miz.  Smith pins Miz in 12 seconds.  The Hart Dynasty get a title shot tomorrow night on Raw!

Todd Grisham is in front of the trainer’s room talking about Triple H’s injury.  Sheamus tells Grisham that Triple H can either face him tonight or lose by forfeit.

Barber chair!  Tony Chimel announces the hair match.  The Straight Edge Society comes out.  Thankfully, no long Punk promo tonight.

CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Punk beats up Mysterio to start.  Mysterio fights back, but Punk throws him out of the ring.  Mysterio sends Punk into the side of the ring with a head scissors.  Sweet.  Back inside, Mysterio goes for the 619.  Punk catches him and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Mysterio counters out.  Punk hits a powerslam for 2.  Punk throws Mysterio out of the ring again.  Serena cheap shots Mysterio behind the referee’s back.  Punk beats up Mysterio on the outside.  Back in the ring, Punk hits the Eddie hilo, plays with his hair, and covers for 2.  Punk locks Mysterio in a head scissors.  Punk tries a sunset flip, but of course Mysterio rolls through and kicks Punk in the head for 2.  Gallows cheap shots Mysterio behind the referee’s back.  Punk covers for 2.  Punk hits a backbreaker for 2.  Punk puts Mysterio in a bow & arrow lock.  Mysterio gets out of it and lands on top for 2.  Punk kills Mysterio with a clothesline for 2.  Punk hits some leg drops.  Punk locks Mysterio in the Gory Special.  Punk goes for a powerbomb, but Mysterio counters into a pinning predicament for 2.  Mysterio ranas Punk into the middle turnbuckle, then goes up top.  Punk crotches him, then goes for the Go 2 Sleep again.  Mysterio counters it and goes for the 619 again, but Serena trips him.  Punk drops Mysterio.  The referee ejects Gallows and Serena.  Punk goes outside, upset.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick and a beautiful Asai moonsault.  Back inside, Mysterio covers for 2.  Mysterio catches Punk with a kick for 2.  Mysterio hits a springboard Bombs Away and goes for a springboard cross body, but Punk catches him with a dropkick for 2.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk’s starting to unravel.  Mysterio counters another Go 2 Sleep attempt into a Frankensteiner for 2.  Punk kicks Mysterio in the head.  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio avoids the knee to the corner and head scissors Punk into 619 position.  Mysterio hits the 619, then a masked person throws a chair into the ring to distract the referee, powerbombs Mysterio off the apron, then hides under the ring.  Punk puts Mysterio back in the ring and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin in 15:59.  Really good match.  Punk sits in the barber chair and celebrates with Gallows and Serena.

The DRAFT is tomorrow night!

Baltimore!

The National Guard!

Strap Match time!  They show Shad turning on JTG a few weeks ago on Smackdown.

Strap Match: Shad Gaspard vs. JTG.  Lawler says the strategy in a strap match is “You gotta win.”  Shad drops JTG and touches 3 corners before JTG recovers and whips the shit out of him.  JTG touches one corner, then gets cut off.  Shad throws him to the apron, whips him, and JTG falls to the floor.  Shad touches 2 corners, but JTG holds him back with the strap.  JTG pulls Shad across the top rope, then comes back in and hits a diving leg lariat.  JTG touches 2 corners, then gets cut off.  Shad hits a… front drop, then uses the strap to pull JTG’s shoulder into the post.  Shad whips JTG while singing a parody of the Nightmare On Elm Street song.  Shad chokes JTG with the strap and starts touching corners, but JTG touches each one behind him, unbeknownst to Shad.  JTG cuts Shad off before he can touch the 4th, hits the Sling Blade, and touches the 4th corner to win it 4:42.  This was alright for what it was.

KFC Double Down!  I want one of those.

Todd Grisham is still outside the trainer’s room.  Grisham says Triple H has “nerve issues” and “numbness in his hand” and probably won’t be able to wrestle tonight.  That’s wrestling for “He’ll be fine in an hour.”

Orton/Swagger video package.

Extreme Rules Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Jack Swagger (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Swagger does his amateur stuff.  Orton elbows Swagger off of the middle rope and covers for 1.  Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  They go outside.  Orton cuts Swagger off from using a chair and stalks him around the ring.  Swagger bails into the ring and tries to punt Orton on the way in.  Swagger bails to the outside when Orton comes in.  Orton follows and Swagger gets the jump on him.  Swagger sends Orton into the barricade and hits a Northern Lights suplex on the floor, then drives Orton into the barricade (again) and the side of the ring.  Back inside, Swagger covers for 2.  Swagger punishes Orton in the corner, then hits a suplex.  Orton fights back, but Swagger hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Swagger hits another suplex, then a backdrop suplex.  Swagger continues beating up Orton.  Swagger brings in the title belt.  My video skips around a bit.  Orton makes a comeback, but gets slammed.  Swagger goes for the springboard Vader Bomb, but Orton hits him in the gut with the belt.  Orton hits a powerslam for 2.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Swagger counters him and throws him out of the ring.  Swagger tries to use a garbage can, but Orton catches it and nails Swagger with it twice.  Orton rams Swagger’s head into the announcers’ table a couple of times, then hits a European uppercut.  Orton whips Swagger into the steps.  Orton stomps Swagger’s head on the steps.  Back in the ring, Orton hits the Garvin Stomp.  Swagger avoids a big knee drop and brings a chair in.  Orton cuts him off and hits the DDT OF MURDER.  Orton humps the mat, then sets up the chair.  Orton sets up the RKO, but Swagger throws Orton onto the chair.  Ouch.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb for the pin.  Pretty good match.  I timed it at 13:46, but that’s not correct due to my video skipping at one point.  At least Swagger won it clean.  Just because they just had the World Champion look good, and that’s a terrible thing, Orton drops Swagger with the RKO outside the ring after the match.

Sheamus comes to the ring and insists that the referee declare him the winner.  They argue.  Cut to Todd Grisham saying that Triple H won’t be able to compete.  Triple H bursts out the door and heads our way as the trainer tells him not to.  Triple H is selling that his arm is limp.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. Triple H.  Triple H tackles Sheamus and punches him on the ground, then clotheslines him out of the ring.  Triple H clotheslines Sheamus from behind on the outside and rams him into the announce table.  Triple H beats up Sheamus all over ringside, then hits the spinebuster back inside.  Triple H goes for the Peidgree, but can’t make it happen because of the limp arm.  Sheamus clotheslines Triple H, who rolls outside.  Sheamus beats up Triple H on the outside, then in the ring.  Sheamus hits a knee drop for 2.  Triple H tries to fight back, but Sheamus clotheslines him for 2.  Sheamus applies a neck/shoulder hold.  Triple H backdrop suplexes Sheamus to escape it and rolls out of the ring.  Sheamus follows and hits a neckbreaker on the floor.  Back inside, Triple H makes his comeback.  Triple H hits a DDT, then sells the injured neck.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus pounds Triple H, then hits a running powerslam for 2.  Sheamus tries to use the pipe, but Triple H cuts him off.  Triple H hits the knee facebuster, then Sheamus whacks Triple H in the head with the pipe for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Triple H counters and backdrops Sheamus out of the ring.  Outside, Sheamus hits Triple H in the gut, then grabs a Singapore cane from under the ring.  Triple H hits a drop toe hold into the steps, then WHACKS Sheamus in the back of the head with the cane.  Triple H wears Sheamus out with the cane, then goes for the Peidgree on the ramp.  Sheamus backdrops him out of it, then hits the pump kick.  Sheamus brings Triple H back to the ring and hits another pump kick but lets Triple H recover.  Triple H does the crotch chop.  Sheamus hits 2 more pump kicks for the pin in 15:50.  It was okay, I guess.  They made it perfectly clear that Sheamus couldn’t only beat Triple H after a hard fought match when Triple H’s arm was paralyzed.  They put a neck brace on Triple H and try to stretcher him out.  Triple H shoves them off and tries to leave on his own, but ends up walking up the ramp with help.  When they reach the ramp, Sheamus hits Triple H with another pump kick.  They stretcher Triple H out.

Over The Limit!

Edge is getting ready for his match.  Josh Matthews comes in and interviews him.

Saliva did the theme song!

There’s lots of ladies’ products at ringside for the Extreme Makeover Match!

Extreme Makeover Match for the WWE Women’s Championship: Michelle McCool (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Layla) vs. Beth Phoenix.  They lock up.  McCool takes the advantage, but Bet hits an awesome reverse cradle out of the corner for 2.  Beth clotheslines McCool for 2.  McCool bails.  Beth follows.  Layla tries to attack Beth with a broom.  Beth grabs the broom to… sweep back Layla and Vickie.  McCool sprays Beth in the face with hair spray, then hits her with an ironing board for 2.  McCool uses the ironing board a bit, then locks Beth in a body scissors.  McCool tries to uses an iron, but the cord gets caught on something and she can’t.  Seriously.  Beth schoolgirls her for 2.  McCool dropkicks the ironing board into Beth for 2.  Way too many puns from the announcers.  McCool goes to fuck with the stuff and the announce table.  Beth baseball slide dropkicks her.  McCool accidentally sprays the hair spray in Vickie and Layla’s faces.  Beth beats up McCool.  Beth hits McCool with a bucket for 2.  An empty bucket.  Beth lays out 2 ironing boards and sets up a superplex.  Vickie and Layla fuck around with a broom and a mop.  McCool knocks Beth off the top for 2.  Beth counters the Styles Clash and hits the Glam Slam for the pin in 6:36.  -***

WrestleMania DVD plug.

The cage is being lowered!

Josh Matthews interviews Chris Jericho.

During Edge’s entrance, they show the recent happenings between these 2 from the last couple of Smackdowns.

Steel Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho.  Jericho stalls, then tries to bring in a chair.  Edge hits a baseball slide dropkick, then beats up Jericho outside a bit.  The finally get in the cage.  Jericho immediately tries to escape, but gets cut off.  Edge beats up Jericho.  Jericho tries to escape again at the first opportunity.  Edge cuts him off and throws him off the top rope.  I should note that Edge is still selling the ankle injury.  Jericho avoids a spear, hits his springboard dropkick to the apron, which sends Edge into the cage.  Brilliant maneuver.  Jericho gets the advantage.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Edge fights out and makes a comeback.  He hits a flapjack, then the Edgecution (or the facebuster variation thereof) for 2.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, misses, and tries to escape again.  Edge cuts him off, but Jericho takes Edge down off the top rope and locks in the Walls of Jericho.  Jericho has had a few really good transitions in here.  Edge reaches the ropes, but there’s no rope breaks.  Jericho lets go anyway.  Edge sends Jericho into the cage, then hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Edge goes for the spear, but Jericho avoids it and almost gets out the door.  Fuck, his is a great, great man.  Jericho drags the chair in.  Edge snatches it away from him.  Jericho slings the door into Edge’s face.  Jericho walks down the steps, then reconsiders and comes back in.  No!  Dammit Jericho, you’ve been a genius up until this point.  Jericho grabs the chair.  Edge avoids the chair shot and spears Jericho for 2.  Edge goes to pick up Jericho, who hits the Codebreaker out of nowhere.  Jericho takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho tries to climb out again, but now he’s hurt.  Edge struggles, but makes it to cut him off.  Jericho connects with an elbow and Edge crotches himself on the top rope.  Jericho makes it over the top of the cage, but Edge manages to stop him.  They punch each other on the top of the cage.  Jericho goes down to the top rope and pulls Edge down there too.  Jericho is knocked to the mat, then hits a fucking AWESOME SPRINGBOARD CODEBREAKER!  Jericho again takes too long to cover and only gets 2.  Jericho yells at Edge to stay down.  That’s way too common anymore.  Jericho chop blocks Edge’s leg, then yells at him some more.  Jericho swings the chair at Edge’s ankle, but misses.  Edge throws Jericho into the face 3 times.  Jericho tries to escape again.  Edge rams Jericho’s face into the cage to knock him off the top rope.  Jericho crawls for the door as Edge taunts him.  Edge beats up Jericho and slams the cage door into Jericho’s leg.  Edge punishes Jericho’s leg as Jericho begs off and damn near cries.  Edge spears Jericho for the pin in 19:59.  Awesome match.

Don’t Try This At Home!

DRAFT TOMORROW!

Baltimore!

The announcers plug over the limit.

Cena/Batista video package.

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Batista.  They lock up.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Batista bails.  Batista comes back.  Cena goes for another shoulder block, so Batista bails again and brings in a chair.  Cena avoids the shot and bulldogs Batista.  Cena hits the Fisherman suplex.  Batista gets up at around 5 and catches Cena with an elbow.  Batista whips Cena into the corner, then nails a big lariat.  Cena gets up and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Batista gets out and throws Cena into the post.  Batista chop blocks Cena’s leg and works him over.  They brawl outside.  Cena reverses Batista into the steps.  Back inside, Batista locks Cena in the figure-four leglock.  Cena escapes, then they do a double clothesline spot.  Cena gets his second win and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Batista bails and grabs a wrench from under the ring, which he uses to hit Cena in the midsection.  Batista brings in a chair and swings it, but Cena catches him and hits the Attitude Adjustment on the chair.  Batista uses the ref to get up and spears Cena.  Cena gets up at 8 and gets speared again.  Cena makes it up again.  Batista looks under the ring, empties a tool box, and brings in a table.  Batista sets up the table in the corner.  Cena goes for the STF, but Batista kicks him into the table, which breaks.  Cena breaks the count by rolling out of the ring.  Batista rams Cena into the post.  Batista whips Cena through the barricade in front of the time keeper’s position.  Cena makes it to his feet.  Batista tears up the announce table and throws  a monitor at Cole.  Yay!  Batista sets up the steps and tries to set up the powerbomb, but Cena counters and hits the Attitude Adjustment through the announce table!  Batista makes it up at 9.  Cena sets up another table in the ring.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista counters and hits a spinebuster through the table.  Cena makes it up.  Batista hits the Batista Bomb.  Cena makes it up at 9.  Batista brings in the steps.  Cena locks him in the STF.  Batista taps, which is pointless in this match.  Cena lets go and the referee starts counting Batista down.  Batista makes it up.  Cena is getting sick of this shit.  He pulls Dave’s balls into the post, then duck tapes his feet!  The referee counts Batista down at 24:33.  Brilliant finish to a great match, tons better than the awful Mania match.  Cena celebrates as Batista is still tied down.

Really good show.  Only a few matches weren’t actively good, and several were very good.