Archive for Ladder Match

WWE Money In The Bank 2011

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2011 by Grappleholic

It’s been a bit.  Let’s see if I remember how to do one of these.

WWE open, AWESOME PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Chicago.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T are the announcer.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Sin Cara vs. Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Heath Slater vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane.  Everybody brawls.  The big guys (Kane, Barrett, and Sheamus) clear the ring and brawl amongst themselves.  Kane clotheslines the others out of the ring, then tries to bring in a ladder.  Bryan dropkcks it into him.  Slater and Gabriel do the same to Bryan.  Cara tries to do the same to them, but they duck and nail him with the ladder.  Slater gets the ladder in the ring and sets it up.  Gabriel knocks him off and walks the ladder toward the center.  Bryan dropkicks him off.  Rhodes throws Bryan into the ladder.  He tries to climb, but Sheamus cuts him off and goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Rhodes counters, goes for the Beautiful Disaster, and hits Slater with it.  Sheamus uses the ladder to beat up Rhodes.  Kane throws Sheamus and Rhodes out of the ring.  Barrett jumps Kane.  Kane rallies and disposes of Barrett, then beats up Slater.  Kane goes up top, but Cara knocks him down with a kick.  Gabriel drops Cara.  Bryan ducks Gabriel and hits a tope suicida on somebody.  Gabriel, Slater, and Cara all hit dives too.  Cara, Gabriel, and Slater do stuff in the ring.  Cara gets rid of both of them.  Bryan appears on the top rope.  Cara hits him with a kick, then hits a one-man Spanish Fly off the top rope.  Cara goes out for a ladder, but Barrett boots him down.  Barrett builds a ladder bridge from the apron to the Spanish table.  Uh oh.  Barrett misses Sin Cara and accidentally clotheslines the post.  Cara goes back in the ring and eats a brogue kick from Sheamus.  Sheamus powerbombs Cara off the apron through the ladder bridge.  Fucking ouch.  Sheamus beats up more people with a ladder.  Cara is stretchered out.  Kane and Sheamus brawl in the ring.  Bryan, Kane, and Rhodes all bring in ladders, then drop them and start brawling.  Kane takes them both out and climbs the ladder.  The former members of The Corre cut him off.  Rhodes takes advantage of the distraction to climb the ladder.  The ex-Corre cut him off too.  Bryan climbs and gets the same treatment.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  His former teammates cut him off and beat him up, then throw him out of the ring.  Gabriel and Slater climb the ladder and fight over the briefcase.  Rhodes knocks the ladder over and gives Slater the Cross Rhodes.  Rhodes climbs the ladder.  Barrett cuts him off.  Rhodes gives him the Cross Rhodes too.  Rhodes climbs the ladder again.  Sheamus cuts him off and hits the uranage backbreaker.  Bryan cuts off Sheamus and rams his head into the ladder.  Sheamus and Kane hit Bryan with a Doomsday Device!  Sheamus and Kane brawl.  Kane eventually takes him out, then chokeslams Rhodes, then chokeslams Gabriel.  Kane climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off.  Kane tries to chokeslam him, but Bryan turns it into some kind of arm lock.  Bryan dives at Kane, gets caught, but somehow turns it to his advantage.  Slater climbs the ladder.  Bryan cuts him off too.  Slater hits a neckbreaker off the ladder.  Slater climbs again, but Barrett cuts him off.  Barrett crotches Slater on the top turnbuckle, then beats up Sheamus.  Barrett brings a third ladder into the ring.  Barrett and Sheamus hit Slater with it, then launch him to the floor.  Sheamus hits Barrett and Rhodes with brogue kicks, then hits Gabriel with a Polish Hammer.  Sheamus drops Gabriel face first across the ladder, then gives him a brogue kick.  Sheamus climbs the ladder.  Kane comes up the other side and brawls with him.  Kane chokeslams Sheamus off the ladder into another ladder.  Ouch.  Barrett, Rhodes, and Bryan attack Kane.  Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster.  Barrett hits the Wasteland.  Gabriel hits Kane with the 450 splash in an impressively small space.  Barrett gives Gabriel the Wasteland out of the ring onto Slater.  Barrett drops Bryan and gives Rhodes a pumphandle slam.  Barrett climbs the ladder.  Rhodes pulls him down and clotheslines him out of the ring.  Bryan climbs the ladder.  Rhodes tries to stop him, but gets elbowed in the face.  They fight up the ladder.  Barrett climbs up the other side and tries to take the briefcase.  Bryan guillotines Rhodes, then elbows Barrett in the face.  Barrett sets up Bryan for the Wasteland.  Bryan counters with the elbow flurry, then drops Barrett with a kick.  Bryan gets the briefcase in 24:26.  BRYAN WINS~!  HOLY SHIT!  Great match.  Bryan gets the honor of being the first guy to cash in and fail.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon, Johnny Ace, and some lawyer arrived.

Chicago!

WWE Divas Championship Match: Kelly Kelly (c) (w/ Eve Torres) vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella).  Kelly slaps Brie and goes on the attack.  Kelly tries a headscissors, fucks it up horrible, and sort of recovers.  Brie goes to confer with her twin.  Kelly hits them both with a dive.  Back inside, Kelly sort of goes for a tarantula and gets sent face first into the floor.  Nikki puts the boots to Kelly behind the referee’s back.  Back inside, Brie goes beats up Kelly for a while.  Kelly makes her comeback and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Brie blocks the Rocker Dropper.  Kelly blocks a backslide.  Cover gets 2.  Brie DDTs Kelly’s foot.  Cover gets 2.  I’m fucking serious.  Kelly hits the Rocker Dropper for the pin in 4:48.  It wasn’t the worst match I’ve ever seen.

SummerSlam commercial.

Big Show/Mark Henry hype video.

Mark Henry vs. The Big Show.  The two big bruisers tear into each other.  Show hits Henry with a shoulder block and Henry rolls to the floor.  They brawl at ringside.  Henry dropkicks the steps into Show’s knee.  Back inside, Henry goes to work on the knee.  Show fight out of a half crab.  Henry squashes Show in the corner.  He tries it again, but is met with a boot.  Show dives off the bottom rope and hits Henry with a shoulder block.  Show goes for the chokeslam.  Henry takes out his knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for 2.  Henry hits another World’s Strongest Slam and 2 big splashes for the pin in 5:58.  It was okay.  After the match, Henry gets a chair and Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show is driven out on a letter stretcher cart thingy.

Vince McMahon complains to Johnny Ace backstage.  Josh Matthews comes in and asks him of he’s resigned CM Punk.  Vince says no, then bitches about Punk being an ingrate.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Everybody grabs a ladder during their entrance and brings it into the ring, so we start with a ladder fight.  Del Rio is buried under ladder at ringside.  They even have mini ladders.  Bourne and Kofi brawl atop a mini ladder, then used it to hit people.  Rey takes Swagger out of the ring with a rana.  Riley drops Truth’s balls in a ladder, then hits him with a knee.  Riley climbs up the midget ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  This is stupid.  Riley takes out Miz and Swagger with a dive.  Truth break dances and hits a Space Flying Tiger Drop onto the pile.  Mysterio and Kofi hit stereo dives off the top rope.  Bourne hits a Shooting Star press off of a ladder onto everyone.  Bourne goes back into the ring and climbs a proper ladder.  Miz cuts him off.  They fight on top.  Del Rio pushes the ladder over.  Miz starts selling his knee.  Medics come out to check on him.  Del Rio climbs the ladder.  Truth stops him.  Miz is helped to the back.  Truth climbs the ladder.  Del Rio climbs the other side.  Bourne and Mysterio climb over them, but are pulled down.  They both hit Frankensteiners.  Swagger drops Bourne and Truth.  Kofi springboards over Swagger and climbs the ladder.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Riley climbs the ladder.  Swagger notices and brawls with him top of the ladder.  Truth pushes it over.  A ladder bridge gets set up in the corner.  Kofi, Truth, and Rey do some stuff with it.  Kofi comes off of it with a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Del Rio charges Kofi, but ends up diving under the ladder to the floor.  More ladder spots.  Swagger gets hit in the face with one.  Mysterio gives Truth a 619.  Riley and Mysterio fight on top of the ladder.  There are a bunch of ladders in the ring now.  Everybody climbs up and tries to get the briefcase.  Del Rio takes a face bump into the ladder bridge.  Guys continue brawling up top.  Bourne takes a bump off a ladder to the floor.  Kofi ends up on top alone.  Swagger makes it back in to cut him off.  They both fall to the floor.  Miz hobbles back down to a big pop and goes for the briefcase.  Mysterio cuts him off and gets booed.  Mysterio powerbombs Miz to the crown.  Del Rio cuts off Mysterio from getting the briefcase.  Mysterio says “fuck that” and knocks him down.  Del Rio climbs the opposite side of the ladder.  Mysterio hits him with the briefcase.  Del Rio takes Mysterio’s mask off.  A bunch of ladders fall over.  Del Rio climbs back up and takes it in 15:52.  Fun match, but nowhere near the Smackdown ladder match.

WrestleMania travel package advertisement.

Chicago!

Randy Orton/Christian hype video.

Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio, who is mad that he had to be in Money In The Bank after winning a #1 Contender Match a couple of weeks ago.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian.  Orton can lose the title by DQ.  Christian brings a chair into the ring in an attempt to get Orton to get himself DQ’d.  Orton teases it, then throws the chair out of the ring.  Christian shaves Orton.  Orton decks him and kicks his ass.  Christian fights back, but eats a clothesline.  This is a heel crowd tonight.  They’re booing Orton.  Orton slides back into the ring to avoid a dive, then throws Christian into the steps.  Back inside, Christian rallies and hits the diving elbow smash for 2.  Christian beats on Orton for a time.  Orton awesomely avoids Christian in the corner and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Christian hits a spinebuster for 2.  Orton counters the Killswitch and clotheslines Christian, sending them both to the floor.  Back inside, Orton gets a jackknife hold for 2, then hits a Lou Thesz press.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Christian counters.  Christian dives at Orton, but gets caught with a dropkick.  Cover gets 2.  Orton goes for a superplex, but Christian knocks him down and hits a diving headbutt for 2.  Orton makes a comeback, but Christian cuts him off and hits the Killswitch for 2.  Christian goes for a spear, but Orton leapfrogs him and hits a swank gutwrench into a neckbreaker.  Orton goes for the punt, misses, and hits a powerslam.  He hits the DDT OF MURDER on the second try, then humps the mat.  Christian spits in Orton’s face.  Orton gets pissed off and beats on him.  Orton kicks Christian straight in the balls to cause the DQ and lose the title in 12:19.  Christian is crowned champion.  Orton kicks his ass at ringside.  Teddy Long comes down to try to settle Orton down.  Orton gives Christian the RKO on the Spanish announce table.  Orton starts to leave, then comes back down to a big pop and gives Christian another RKO on the table.

Skittles commercial.

SummerSlam commercial again.

John Cena/CM Punk hype video.

CM Punk comes out to an insanely loud hero’s welcome in his home town.  Cena comes out to the loudest fucking boos I’ve ever heard.  He’s all business tonight and even has the belt around his waist.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk.  They lock up and trade holds.  Cena ducks a high kick.  Man, this crowd is hot.  Cena gets a takedown.  They trade holds some more.  Punk hits a big hip toss and gets a side headlock takeover.  They counters each others’ finish.  Punk lands some kicks.  Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2, then grabs a headlock and works it.  Punk escapes and gets a 2 count.  There’s a high pitched “LET’S GO CENA” chant alternating with a much deeper “CENA SUCKS!” chant.  Cena hits a Fisherman suplex for 2.  Lawler just said he didn’t think there was a single Cena fan in the arena, so he didn’t just hear those loud ass chants.  Punk hits a DDT for 2, then applies a headscissors.  Punk escapes an Attitude Adjustment predicament and throws Cena to the floor.  Punk sets Cena in the apron and hits a diving enzui knee drop!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena goes for the STF and fails.  Punk clamps on a rear chin lock.  Punk hits a diving cross body to Cena’s knee for 2.  Cena sells the knee.  Punk tries to suplex Cena in from the apron, but Cena suplexes Punk to the floor!  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Cena hits an elbow drop for 2.  Cena hits a nifty suplex/powerslam for 2.  Punk lands some punches to big cheers.  Cena locks in an abdominal stretch to boos.  Punk escapes with a hip toss.  Double knockdown spot.  Cena starts his comeback, but Punk catches him with a schoolboy for 2.  Cena concludes his comeback and goes for the “You can’t see me” gesture, but Punk kicks him in the head, knocks him to the floor, and hits a tope suicida!  Back inside, Punk goes for the springboard lariat, but Cena avoids it.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk sort of lands on his feet and lands a flurry of kicks for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for 2.  Punk counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits 2 knee strikes and a bulldog headlock.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk lands more kicks.  Cena locks in the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Punk kills Cena with a high kick for 2.  Punk hits a diving cross body.  Cena rolls through, lifts him, and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF again.  Punk escapes and locks in the Anaconda Vice!  Cena fights out and hits the Attitude Adjustment for 2.  Cena comes off the top rope, but Punk sort of counters into a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Punk signals for the Go 2 Sleep.  He goes for it, but Cena drops to the apron and pulls Punk’s head across the top rope.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment again, and PUNK KICKS OUT AGAIN!  Cena tries to set up a SUPER ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Punk clubbers Cena’s head with elbows!  Punk hits a top rope Frankensteiner.  Cena rolls to the ropes.  Punk hits the running knee and the Go 2 Sleep, but only catches Cena in the middle.  Cena falls out of the ring.  Punk throws Cena back in the ring.  Vince McMahon and Johnny Ace come out.  Cena locks Punk in the STF.  Vince tries to call for the bell.  He sends Ace to do his bidding, but Cena decks him.  Cena yells at Vince that he can win this himself.  He goes after Punk, but Punk catches him and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin to win the title at 33:44.  Great pro wrestling match right here, kids.  Punk celebrates with the belt.  Vince looks almost as morose as Dana White did after Brock Lesnar lost the UFC Heavyweight title.  Vince takes King’s headset and yells at someone to send Alberto Del Rio out here.  Del Rio runs out.  Punk kills him with a high kick.  Punk blows Vince a kiss and leaves through the crowd with his belt.  What will happen next as the WWE Universe Turns?

Really good show with a couple of great matches.

TNA Against All Odds 2011

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2011 by Grappleholic

Very cool opening video, pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  They talk about what’s going down tonight and announce that Generation Me couldn’t make it due to travel issues, so they’re out of the Three-Way #1 Contender Match with Robbie E.

Robbie E. and Cookie come out.  Robbie blathers like a retard.  Since Gen Me couldn’t make it, he’s #1 Contender by default.  He wants the referee to count them out and raise his hand in victory.  The referee rings the bell and counts them out.  Robbie wins by forfeit.  He’s going to get his title shot tonight, and apparently doesn’t know it.  Kazarian comes out to inform him.  He calls Cookie a filthy garden gnome, so that’s awesome.  Robbie is upset to be getting a title shot for some reason.  Kazarian attacks Robbie and throws him into the ring.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Robbie E. (w/ Cookie).  Kazarian beats up Robbie.  Yay!  Cookie tries to trip Kazarian, but he stomps her hand.  Kazarian hits a spin kick for 2.  Kazarian kicks Robbie off the apron and goes up top.  Cookie tries to fuck with him.  Kazarian grabs her.  Robbie drops Kazarian and makes him face plant into the steps.  Robbie ramps Kazarian’s arm into the steps for good measure.  Back inside, Kazarian tries to rally and eats a boot.  Robbie hits a diving fist drop for 2.  Cookie chokes Kazarian behind the referee’s back.  Robbie hits a side Russian leg sweep or something similar for 2.  Robbie ground Kazarian with a rear chin lock.  Kazarian avoids Robbie in the corner and hits a springboard dropkick.  Kazarian makes his comeback and hits a rebound leg drop for 2.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver, but Robbie counters and goes for the neckbreaker.  They trade cradles.  Kazarian hits the Axe Guillotine Driver (which apparently he calls the Fade To Black) for the pin in 7:11.  Okay match.

Christy Hemme interviews Scott Steiner and TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Typical Steiner rambling.  He massages Roode’s shoulders and Roode tries to translate what he said into English.

AJ Styles comes out to join Tenay and Taz for commentary.

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Rob Terry, Gunner, & Murphy of Immortal vs. Scott Steiner & TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money.  Gunner and Murphy finally have wrestling gear.  Steiner and Gunner lock up.  Steiner shoulder blocks him, then chops the shit out of him.  Gunner tries to do something cute and gets overhead suplexed.  Murphy comes in and gets one for himself.  Terry tags in and poses.  Steiner is unimpressed.  Beer Money distracts the referee.  Steiner kicks Terry square in the balls and lands a STEINER LINE~!, then drops an elbow and does some push ups.  Murphy tags and locks up with Steiner.  Storm tags in and beats up Murphy.  Storm hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Murphy tags in.  Storm avoids a kick and hits a knee to the face and a neckbreaker for 1.  Gunner tries to through Storm out of the ring.  Storm skins the cat back in and hits a flurry of offense.  Storm lands corner punches.  The heels cut Storm off and work him over.  Storm hits Terry with a Lung Blower.  Gunner tries to cut Storm off again, but Storm kicks him away and makes the hot tag to Roode.  Roode wins wild.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Terry accidentally hits Murphy.  BEER!  MONEY! double suplex on Terry.  Gunner decks Storm.  Roode hits the spinebuster on Gunner, then Murphy.  Terry tries to chokeslam Roode, but Roode counters and gives him a spinebuster too.  Gunner goes up top.  Roode cuts him and tags in Steiner.  FRANKENSTEINER OFF THE TOP ROPE!  Steiner pins Gunner in 10:12.  Fun match!

Christy Hemme interviews Brother Devon, who has decided that his sons aren’t going to be in the match.

Pope/Joe video package.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe.  Pope has “Pope’s Gonna Kill You” on the back of his trunks.  He bails because he’s a pussy.  Pope finally kicks Joe in the gut and attacks.  Joe goes for the choke.  Pope escapes and bails again.  Pope tries to leave, but Okato (the former Kazuchika Okada) appears and forces Pope back to ringside.  He has a Kato mask on him.  Joe hits an elbow suicida and throws Pope back into the ring.  Pope rallies, hits a suplex, and poses.  Joe no sells and kicks his ass.  Joe hits the face wash in the corner.  Pope pokes Joe in the eyes to regain the initiative and puts a hurting on Joe.  Joe rallies and makes his comeback.  Senton splash gets 2.  Snap powerslam gets 2.  Pope lands a knee to the face and removes a turnbuckle pad.  Joe avoids having his face rammed into the exposed buckle.  Pope gets a reverse cradle, but Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch.  Pope immediately submits in 8:32.  It was okay.  Pope applauds Joe and offers to shake his hand.  Joe refuses.  Pope cheap shots him, drops Okato, and rams Joe’s head into the exposed turnbuckle.  Pope hits the Elijah Express.  Joe is bleeding and pissed off.  Pope runs away.

Christy Hemme interviews Mickie James.

Mickie James/Madison Rayne hype video.

Last Knockout Standing Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Madison Rayne (c) vs. Mickie James.  Madison goes for a punch with the loaded glove, which is perfectly legal.  Mickie avoids the shot and beats her up.  They go outside and Madison punches the post.  Mickie hits her head on the steps and makes it up at about 4.  Back inside, they counter each others’ finish.  They fight on the ramp.  Madison clubs Mickie in the back with the loaded glove and goes to work on her back.  Mickie reverses Madison into the post.  Back in the ring, Madison hits her finish.  Mickie recovers and rallies.  They brawl outside.  Madison crawls under the ring.  Mickie follows.  They both come out the other side.  That was utterly pointless.  Mickie accidentally punches the steps.  Mickie kicks her.  Mickie throws Madison back into the ring to break the count, then goes up top.  Madison cuts her off and throws her to the floor.  Mickie makes it up at 9.  Mickie pulls Madison’s arm across the top rope, then hits the diving Thesz press.  Mickie sort of hits the Mick Kick, then takes Madison’s glove and puts it on.  Tara runs in.  Mickie decks her with the loaded glove.  Madison decks Mickie with brass knuckles and goes for the pin.  Idiot.  10 count.  Madison retains in 8:29.  This wasn’t any good.

Jeff Hardy talks backstage, then paints lines on his face.

Matt Morgan comes out and calls out Hernandez.  Hernandez comes out.  Hernandez is the heel now, despite the fact that Morgan is the one who kicked Hernandez’s head into the post last year.  They banter.  Hernandez is turning this into a racial issue.  He kicks Morgan in the balls and gives him an Attitude Adjustment, of all things.  Hernandez also now walks like a retard who thinks he’s a bad ass.

Christy Hemme interviews Matt Hardy, whose nickname is now “Cold Blood.”

Matt Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam.  They lock up.  Hardy powers RVD into the corner.  The ref gets between them.  They trade punches.  RVD’s singlet is really cool looking tonight.  Hardy blocks the monkey flip and sends RVD’s face into the turnbuckle, then drops him with a clothesline.  Hardy pounds on RVD in the corner.  RVD lands a jump kick.  Hardy bails.  RVD goes for an Asai moonsault, but Hardy pulls him down and makes his face plant into the apron.  Hardy tries to suplex RVD into the barricade, but RVD turns it into a front suplex, then hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDAIL LEG DROP~!  Back inside, Hardy hits a DDT for 2.  RVD rolls out of the ring.  Hardy sends RVD into the barricade again.  Back inside, Hardy hits an enzui leg drop for 2.  Hardy beats on RVD.  Hardy locks in a rolling butterfly lock.  RVD gets a foot on the rope.  Matt humps RVD.  I don’t know why either.  Hardy hits the bottom rope decapitator for 2.  Hardy applies a full nelson.  RVD fights out.  Hardy hits a sleeper drop for 2.  Stupid alternating chants.  Hardy applies a cravat hold.  He’s breaking out all kinds of new shit tonight.  Hardy drops RVD and goes up top.  RVD catches him midair with a thrust kick.  RVD makes his comeback.  Hardy avoids the Rolling Thunder, but RVD hits a standing moonsault for 2.  RVD kicks Hardy in the face, hits a front slam, and follows with the split-legged moonsault for 2.  Hardy ducks a kick and hits the Side Effect for 2.  RVD counters the Twist of Hate and drops Hardy with a spin kick.  RVD goes up top.  Hardy cuts him off and goes for a superplex.  They fight over it for a while.  Hardy back body drops RVD off the top rope, then goes for a moonsault press.  RVD avoids it and hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 13:20.  Decent match.  The best thing on the show so far, which is kind of sad.

Christy Hemme interviews Bully Ray, who bullies her, then talks shit about Devon’s kids.

Ray/Devon hype video.

Street Fight: Bully Ray vs. Brother Devon.  Ray tries to jump Devon in the aisle with a chain, but Devon kicks his ass all over ringside.  Devon throws Ray into the ring and brings in some plunder.  Devon lights Bully up with a Singapore cane.  Ray begs off, then cheap shots Devon.  Devon canes him in the head.  Awesome.  Devon’s sons come out.  He orders them to the back.  Ray hits Devon in the back with a chair, then spits on his sons again.  Ray beats Devon with weapons and puts his neck in a chair.  The kids attack.  Ray threatens them with the chain.  Devon wakes up and makes his comeback.  Devon hits a back body drop and Bubba audibly says “Oh shit!”  Devon’s son Terrell hits Ray with a trash can.  Terrence and Terrell hold Bubba’s legs open so Devon can hit the Wassup headbutt.  Devon & sons get the table.  Devon sets up the table.  Ray hits him in the balls and handcuffs him to the turnbuckle.  Terrence and Terrell go to help their dad.  Ray cold cocks Terrence.  Terrell kicks Bubba’s ass to a BIG pop.  Bubba clotheslines Terrell to death and pins him in 9:23, which counts for some reason.  Ray spits in Devon’s face and talks shit to him.  He teases hitting Devon with a chair.  Devon calls for useless security.  Ray puts the chair down, then powerbombs Terrence through the table.  Ray leaves.  Devon finally gets cut free so he can check on his kids.  Taz talks in his low, serious voice.  Terrence gets stretchered out while Devon carries Terrell.  Good way to continue the feud.

Jeremy Borash interviews Jeff and Karen Jarrett.

Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle.

Jarrett/Angle hype video.

Jeff Jarrett (w/ Karen Jarrett) vs. Kurt Angle.  They lock up.  Angle pushes Jarrett into the corner.  Referee forces a break.  Angle takes Jarrett down with a side headlock takeover.  Jarrett gets free and grabs a side headlock.  Angle shoves him away, then invites him to reapply the hold.  Jarrett does, and Angle gives him a backdrop suplex.  They go into an awesome chain wrestling sequence.  Angle hits a snap suplex for 2.  Angle pounds on Jarrett and throws him out of the ring.  He invites Karen over to watch him punch Jeff in the face.  Back inside, Angle hits an elbow smash for 2.  Jarrett avoids Angle’s charge in the corner and Angle spears the most, then falls out of the ring.  Jarrett throws Angle’s injured shoulder into the barricade twice, then takes him back inside to work him over.  Jarrett goes up top, but Angle springs up and suplexes him down in classic Angle fashion.  Angle lands some clotheslines and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle goes for a German, but Jarrett switches around.  Angle rolls through and goes for the ankle lock.  Jarrett escapes.  Angle hits the rolling Germans for 2.  Jarrett lands an enzuigiri and goes for the Stroke.  Angle counters into the ankle lock.  Jarrett rolls through, then charges and crotches himself on the ropes.  Angle hits the Angle Slam.  Karen distracts the referee.  Jarrett hits Angle in the balls.  Jarrett hits the Stroke for the pi…NO!  Angle kicks out!  Jarrett goes for the Stroke again.  Angle pushes Jarrett away, bumping the ref in the process.  Jarrett uses a distraction from Karen to Pearl Harbor Angle on the outside and send him repeatedly into the steps.  Back inside, Jarrett tries to use a chair, but Angle takes it away.  The referee wakes up to take the chair from Angle.  Jarrett gets a schoolboy for 2.  Angle hits an Exploder for 2.  Angle goes up top.  Karen distracts him.  Jarrett sort of hits the Stroke off the middle rope for 2.  Angle hits a German suplex and drops the straps.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Jarrett grabs Karen’s hands and pulls her into the ring.  Jarrett taps while the referee is busy with Karen.  Jarrett clocks Angle with a chair behind the referee’s back and gets the pi…NO!  Angle kicked out again!  Angle gets an inside cradle for 2.  Jarrett squashes a sunset flip and gets a relatively clean pin in 16:18.  Hell of a match.  Angle is very dejected.  He takes his boots off and leaves them in the ring, which in amateur wrestling signifies retirement.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson.

Anderson/Hardy hype video.

Tale of the Tape.

Ladder Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  Entrances and intros.  Hebner and Bischoff’s kid are both referees.  That may come into play later.  Borash is a nice dude, but he’s a shitty ring announcer.  They talk.  Hardy spits in Anderson’s face.  Anderson kicks his ass.  Hardy bails and goes after his fugly neon ladder.  They brawl at ringside.  Anderson sends Hardy crashing into the ladder, then drives Hardy into the side of the ring with another ladder.  Back inside, Hardy hits a neckbreaker onto a ladder.  Hardy climbs for his fugly belt, but Anderson stops him and hits a neckbreaker.  Anderson climbs for the belt, but Hardy stops him and kicks him into the corner.  Hardy hits a corner dropkick.  Hardy dropkicks a ladder into Anderson’s balls.  Fucking ow.  Anderson hits a side Russian leg sweep onto the ladder.  Ouch again.  Anderson brings in a second ladder and climbs for the belt.  Hardy climbs up the other side.  They fight at the top of the ladder.  Hardy hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the ladder!  Hardy slams Anderson and goes for his trademark “off the top rope, over the ladder leg drop.”  Anderson avoids it.  Hardy back body drops Anderson onto the ladder in the corner.  Ouch.  Hardy sets a ladder upside down for some reason, then beats on Anderson.  They go outside again.  Hardy tries to hit Anderson with the fugly neon ladder, but Anderson avoids it and sends it into Hardy’s face.  Hardy sends Anderson into the steps, injuring his wrist.  Hardy uses the steps to hit the Whisper In The Wind against the barricade.  Back inside, Hardy tries to front suplex Hardy into the upside down ladder.  Anderson counters, suplexes Hardy sort of at the ladder, and knocks the whole mess over.  Anderson climbs for the belt.  Hardy pulls him off and hits the Twist of Hate.  Hardy has the referee hand him his neon ladder.  He tries to do something to Anderson, but Anderson counters with the Lambea Leap onto the ladder.  Anderson goes for the Kenton Bomb, but Hardy avoids it.  Hardy sets up two ladders side by side and climbs.  Anderson follows.  They fight on top of the ladders.  Anderson goes for the Mic Check, but they both just kind of fall in a big, painful looking mess.  Hardy kicks Anderson out of the ring, climbs the ladder, and takes the belt down to regain the title in 18:16.  Okay if sort of sloppy match.  Match highlights.  Hardy celebrates with his ugly belt and his awful entrance music.

This show was pretty average for the most part, but Angle/Jarrett was really good.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 6/19/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

Episode #513: Punk and Disorderly!  I love these titles.

WWE open, Smackdown open, then Jim Ross and Todd Grisham welcome us to… wherever we are tonight.  Roanoke, Virginia!  Tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on Chris Jericho, while CM Punk takes on Rey Mysterio!

Josh Matthews interviews Jeff Hardy in the ring.  They show highlights of Hardy’s Ladder match with Edge at Extreme Rules, where Hardy won the World Championship, then CM Punk cashed in Money In The Bank and beat him for the title.  Then they show Punk retaining the title against Hardy and Edge on Raw this past Monday.  Hardy says he’ll beat Punk at The Bash.  Matthews says they should hear things from Punk’s point of view, so Punk comes out to retort.  Punk defends his actions, rightfully saying that he won both of those matches well within the rules.  They agree that they live different lifestyles, and they’ll settle their differences at the Bash.  Hardy gets cheered, Punk gets booed.  Insta-commercial!

Non-Title: Jeff Hardy vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho.  Grisham calls it “The Extreme Enigma vs. The Extreme Ego.”  Jericho tends to hit moves, but take time to posture to the crowd instead of staying on his opponent.  Jericho applies an abdominal stretch, but Hardy escapes it and makes his comeback… not that there was much of a heat to make a comeback from.  Jericho avoids a kick and goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Hardy counters it.  Jericho hits a backdrop suplex.  Ouch.  Hardy avoids the Lionsault.  Hardy hits a front suplex and goes up top for the Swanton, but Jericho bails.  Hardy dives to the outside.  Jericho avoids it and Hardy eats the barricade.  Jericho tosses Hardy back in, then Mysterio comes out of the crowd and ranas Jericho.  Jericho ends up going facefirst into the ringpost and gets counted out at 4:56.  Mysterio goes back into the crowd with 2 other people with the same mask and outfit.  Cute.  Match was disappointing.  Hardy gives Jericho the Twist of Fate and the Swanton for good measure.

Layla and Eve fight over hairspray or something.  Maria plays peacemaker.  Dolph Ziggler shows up and they all get his name wrong.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Khali kicks his ass for a bit, but Ziggler manages to make a comeback and chops Khali’s leg out from under him.  Khali gets DQ’d for a phantom chairshot at 2:03.  Ziggler outsmarts Khali again!

Still to come, Punk vs. Mysterio!

Randy Orton is featured in this month’s WWE magazine!

Raw Rebound.  Scroll down and read the Raw report if you want to know what happened.

Non-Title: WWE Women’s Champion Melina vs. Alicia Fox (w/ Michelle McCool).  Melina will defend the title against McCool at The Bash.  Fox gets Melina in a body scissors, then turns it into a painful looking full nelson.  Melina comes back and beats her with the Code Red at 1:43.  McCool jumps Melina after the match and beats her down, then cuts an awful promo.

John Morrison takes on Edge NEXT!  That should be good.

Edge cuts a promo bitching about not getting another title shot, then says Morrison isn’t fit to breathe his air or be in his ring.  Morrison comes out.  Edge says Morrison wants to be him.  Morrison says Edge isn’t entertaining anymore and he always whines.  Morrison says after this match, Edge will have something to complain about.  Insta-commercial!

This is the version of Smackdown that aired in Australia and New Zealand, so we get some hype for Raw house shows there next month.

Edge vs. John Morrison.  They start with some nice chain wrestling, starting off slow and building it up.  Edge gets heat on him for a while.  Morrison tries to fight back, but Edge sends him off the top rope to the floor.  Insta-commercial.  Edge continues working Morrison over and targets the ribs.  Morrison nails a sweet knee to the face for 2.  Edge goes up top, but Morrison nails his flip kick to send Edge to the floor.  Morrison hits a sweet baseball slide headscissors and sends Edge into the steps.  Back in the ring, cover gets 2.  Edge avoids the Flying Chuck and locks in the Sharpshooter.  Morrison gets a rope break.  Morrison gets a sunset flip for 2.  Morrison hits a Russian leg sweep and heads up to for the Starship Pain, but Edge pulls him down.  Morrison avoids a spear in the corner and crades Edge for 2, then Edge sends him shoulder first into the ring post.  Morrison leapfrogs another spear and hits the Flying Chuck for 2.  Edge counters the Moonlight Drive and hits the Implant DDT, but Morrison kicks out!  Morrison hits a neat DDT for 2.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain again, but Edge moves, then hits the spear for the win (about 13 1/2 minutes shown).  Really good match.

Punk vs. Mysterio is still to come!

Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, & Ricky Ortiz vs. R-Truth & Cryme Tyme.  JTG and Ortiz start.  JTG takes Ortiz down, then tags in Shad, who kicks his ass.  Ortiz avoids a big boot and attacks Shad’s knee.  Haas tags in and continues working Shad’s knee.  Lukewarm tag to Truth.  Benjamin tags in as well and gets the better of him.  Truth connects with a loud slap, then a loud kick for 2.  Haas and Ortiz break the cover.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Truth catches Benjamin coming off the top rope and goes for the scissors kick.  Shelton avoids it, but Truth catches him with a corkscrew elbow smash for the win at 4:03.

The main event is next!

12 Rounds is coming out on DVD.  I don’t fucking care.

Mysterio comes down and says it felt good to give Jericho a taste of his own medicine earlier tonight.  Mysterio says he wants to challenge Jericho to another title match.  Jericho comes out to the stage and says he already gave Mysterio his rematch and beat him.  Jericho babbles for a while.  Mysterio tells him to shut up.  They eventually agree to a mask vs. title match at the PPV.

Non-Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk.  Jericho is doing commentary.  Punk is still working as a face, and he’s still selling the knee from Raw.  Mysterio attacks Punk’s knee.  Punk fights back.  Punk avoids the 619.  Insta-commercial.  Mysterio takes the shoulder into the ring post bump and gets schoolboyed for 2.  Punk works Mysterio’s shoulder.  Mysterio comes back again and does his stuff.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away, hits the ropes, and gets caught with a big kick by Punk for 2.  Punk hits the knee in the corner, avoids the 619, and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Mysterio counters into a pinning predicament for 2.  Mysterio tries a flip, but Punk catches him in the Go 2 Sleep position again.  Mysterio holds on to the ropes, so Punk tosses him out.  The referee stops Punk from going outside and Jericho uses the distraction to attack Mysterio.  Mysterio beats the count back in the ring, but Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep for the win (8:19 shown).  Jeff Hardy runs down to complain to the ref… or something.  Punk leaves as Jeff’s music plays.  Fin.

WWE Extreme Rules 2009 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, followed by the PPV intro video.  Michael Cole welcomes us to the show as Lillian Garcia introduces the first match.

Fatal Four-Way Match for WWE United States Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Cole and Lawler are on commentary, and put over Kingston beating MVP for the title this past Monday on Raw.  Typical double team/pair off and brawl stuff early on.  Kofi is awesome.  Cole gets in his “Controlled Frenzy” for the night.  Regal beats the shit out of Kingston, which is always good stuff.  Regal sets up a butterfly suplex on Kofi.  MVP tries to turn it into a Tower of Doom spot, but they botch it.  Kofi and Regal still take the bump, though.  Hardy comes in fresh after staying outside for a bit and tries to pin everyone.  Everyone kicks out.  Matt sets up the Twist of Fate on MVP, but Kofi gets back in the action and punishes Regal and Hardy.  Regal counters the Trouble In Paradise and T-bones Kofi right into Hardy, which Kofi uses to get a near fall.  The match turns into everybody hitting big moves and covering, then someone else breaking up the cover.  Regal hits Exploders on everyone until Kingston catches him the Trouble In Paradise for the pin at 6:42.  Short, but fun and exciting match, and a good way to kick off the show.

Josh Matthews interviews The Big Show, who says John Cena can’t put him in the STF.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham talk about the recent issues between Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio.  Justin Roberts is in the ring to introduce the match.  He introduces Jericho, but Jericho doesn’t come out.  He’s in the merchanidise stand bitching about Mysterio’s merchanidise.  He comes down to the ring through the crowd, talking the whole way.  Mysterio comes out, so now we can have our match.  Ross says that Mysterio is the first masked Intercontinental Champion.  Kane says hello.

No Holds Barred Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Chris Jericho.  Mysterio jumps Jericho at the bell and kicks his ass all around the ringside area.  Rey hits a sweet rana off the apron and takes the match in the ring.  Jericho gets the advantage and holds it until Mysterio counters his springboard dropkick to the apron.  Rey hits a 619 around the ringpost to send Jericho off the apron and hits a diving splash on to him.  Back in the ring. Jericho avoids the 619.  Rey gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Jericho rolls it back for one of his own.  Rey rolls through a sunset flip attempt and tries a dropkick, but Jericho catches and goes for the Walls of Jericho.  Rey turns it into a inside cradle, but can’t get the pin.  Jericho gets the advantage and goes for Rey’s mask.  Rey escapes, then avoids a charging Jericho, who spears the ring post and goes outside.  Rey hits a tope suicida.  Rey does his Speedy Gonzales routine back in the ring.  Jericho avoids the 619 again and does a swank spinning backbreaker for a near fall.  Rey avoids the Lionsault and hits the 619.  He goes for a diving something or other, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker for a very near fall.  Jericho brings a chair into the ring, but Mysterio dropkicks into his face and covers for a near fall.  Mysterio hits a leg drop with the chair for another near fall, then sets the chair up in the corner and hits a drop toehold onto it.  Mysterio uses the chair as a springboard for a Frankensteiner, but Jericho turns it into the Walls of Jericho.  Mysterio nails him with the chair and goes for the 619, but Jericho manages to yank his mask off.  Mysterio desperately covers his face and allows himself to be pinned with a schoolboy in 14:40, even though anyone who watched WCW from 1999 to 2001 has seen his face.  Jericho wins the Intercontinental Title for the unprecendented 9th time.  Good match.

Randy Savage DVD available this Tuesday!

New Orleans!

Josh Matthews interviews Batista.  Actually, they show the video of Randy Orton killing Ric Flair, then Batista comments on it.  He’s going to do various nasty things to Orton tonight.

Samoan Strap Match: Umaga vs. CM Punk. They show Umaga killing Punk on Smackdown a few weeks ago.  You win here by touching all four corners in succession… secession?  You know what I mean.  Umaga whips Punk with the strap and punishes him in various other nasty ways.  How the hell do you do PBP on a Strap Match?  “He whips the other guy, he uses the strap to hold the other guy back…”  Punk fights back and goes for the Go 2 Sleep, but doesn’t get it.  They both get near falls (I.E. touching 3 turnbuckles but being prevented from touching the fourth.  Umaga goes for the diving splash, but Punk uses the strap to pull him off the top rope.   Punk touches 3 corners, hits the Go 2 Sleep, and touches the fourth for the win at 8:58.  Meh.  Strap matches are kind of a stupid gimmick.

New Orleans again!

Matt Striker and Josh Matthews are ready to announce the ECW Championship match!

Gregory Helms interviews the ECW Champion, Christian.  Christian says he’s going to miss Tommy Dreamer, because he’s not losing his title.  Dreamer comes up and says Christian will indeed be losing the title.  Jack Swagger steps in to say his bit, but Dreamer and Christian leave.  Cut to Tony Chimel who is in the ring to introduce the match.

Triple Threat Hardcore Match for the ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger.  They get in-ring introductions.  They brawl a bit, then Christian and Dreamer bring the plunder in.  Dreamer utilizes the Singapore cane to great effect.  Dreamer is in his element here, and shows why he is called the Innovator of Violence.  Swagger finally gets the advantage on Dreamer and tries to superplex him into a pile of trashcans.  Christian comes in and adds a powerbomb to the equation.  I guess they had to do it since the guys in the four-way fucked up the Tower of Doom spot.  Christian ducks a crutch shot from Swagger and goes for the Killswitch.  Swagger counters and goes for the Doctor Bomb.  Dreamer nails Swagger with the crutch to break it, then bashes him with it again and hits a DDT.  Dreamer covers and gets the pin on Swagger at 9:37 to WIN THE ECW CHAMPIONSHIP!  With no Justin Credible to fuck up the moment. Tommy Dreamer finally gets to enjoy capturing the ECW Championship.  That’s my feel good markout moment of the night.

Chavo Guerrero prepare Vickie for her defense of the Miss WrestleMania crown.  Michael Cole talks about it for a bit, then throws it to Jerry Lawler, who is with the pigs.  “Santina” comes out, followed by Vickie, who says she’s making the match a Handicap Match.  A less than delighted Chavo will be her partner.

Handicap Hog Pen Match for the Miss WrestleMania Crown: Vickie Guerrero (c) & Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Santina Marella.  Vickie sends Chavo in to fight while she stays outside in her gown.  Santina and Chavo fight in the muck.  Santina throws Chavo into the pen with the hogs.  Shouldn’t the match be over?  I guess it’s pinfall only.  Santina schoolgirls Chavo for a near fall.  Chavo beats down Santina and tags in Vickie.  Santina tries to slop her, but Chavo jumps him and tries to slop him.  He misses and slops Vickie.  Santina slops Chavo, then pins Vickie for the win at 2:43 to become Miss WrestleMania again.  Gross.  -50 stars.

SummerSlam, August 23 on PPV!

Orton/Batista video package.

Chavo and Vickie walk backstage while everyone in the vicinity holds their nose.  Goldust and Hornswoggle show up to bring the comedy, then run away from the smell.  They find Edge in Vickie’s office.  Vickie tells Edge he’s on his own tonight.  Edge says he wants a divorce.  Poor Vickie.  Divorces are no fun at all, and I don’t imagine being covered in pig shit is either.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista.  In-ring intros, and we’re off!  Orton tries to escape immediately, but Batista stops him and goes to work kicking his ass.  Orton avoids a charge and tries to escape again.  Rinse, repeat.  Orton counters the Batista Bomb and tries to escape again, but then decided to go for the punt instead.  Batista avoids it.  Orton avoids the Batista Bomb again.  Batista avoids the RKO.  Batista hits the Batista Bomb for the pin at 7:03.  Seriously?  That’s it?  Ah well, at least it was too short to suck.  Fun fact: this is the first time the WWE Championship has changed hands in a Steel Cage match.

Show/Cena video package.

Submission Match:
The Big Show vs. John Cena.  The whole basis of this match is that Show is too big for Cena to put in the STF.  Of course, he goes for it in the first minute and fails.  Of all the Cena/Show matches… this is one of them.  Same old shit, except with more sleeper holds.  About 10 minutes in, Cena avoids the Vader Bomb and tries to slam Show.  Show lands on top and hugs Cena, which is apparently a submission hold.  Show beats up Cena some more and locks in an abdominal stretch.  Cena counters a chokeslam attempt with a DDT and tries the STF again.  He still doesn’t get it.  Show locks in a bearhug.  Cena escapes and drops Show with a neckbreaker.  Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Show goes for the chokeslam, but Cena avoids it and hits the Attitude Adjustment.  STF fails again.  Show lands the KO punch and knocks Cena out of the ring.  Show goes out and picks him him, but Cena slips off and sends Show into the ring post.  Back in the ring, Cena misses a diving leg drop, then props up one of show’s legs against the ropes and locks in a crossface.  The leg doesn’t stay.  Show submits to this half assed STF at 19:05, even though Show’s feet were under the ropes.  Fucking retarded.

Edge/Hardy video package.

Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  In-ring intros.  There are dozens of ladders placed around the ring.  First ouch moment comes 3 minutes in when Jeff backdrops Edge out of the ring and chest first onto a ladder.  Jeff makes the first attempt to climb up to the big gold belt, but Edge stops him, then drops him painfully on the ladder.  That’s one cheap aluminum ladder ruined.  Edge brings in another and sets it in a corner.  Jeff avoids a charging Edge, who spears the ladder.  Match goes on.  Edge creatively sandwiches Jeff in the ladder and locks in a Sharpshooter.  Later, Edge takes a painful front suplex into an open ladder.  Lots of creative painful looking things in this match.  Hardy brings in a really tall ladder.  He hits the Twist of Fate, then goes up the tall ladder with the intent of diving off.  Edge moves out of the way.  The ladder falls over but Jeff grabs hold of the belt.  Edge pulls him down before Jeff can take the belt down.  Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind off the ladder.  The carnage continues.  They take a huge bump off a ladder at ringside through another one set up on the ring apron and guardrail.  Back in the ring, Hardy climbs for the belt.  Edge climbs another ladder and tries to spear Hardy, but gets caught with a neckbreaker in mid air.  Hardy goes for the gold again.  Edge climbs up the other side and punches Hardy down.  Hardy pulls Edge’s legs through the ladder to trap him.  Edge can do nothing but look on as Hardy pulls the belt down and becomes World Heavyweight Champion at 20:06.  Pretty damn good ladder match.

But wait, it’s not over!  CM Punk comes down and cashes in the Money In The Bank contract!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk.  Punk hits the Go 2 Sleep for the 1, 2, HARDY KICKS OUT!  Punk can’t believe it.  Hardy gets a quick inside cradle, but Punk kicks out.  Punk nails a big kick and hits the Go 2 Sleep again and pins Hardy to win the title at 1:02.  PUNK IS WORLD CHAMPION!

Pretty good show for the most part.  Punk and Dreamer winning the gold makes me happy.

WWE WrestleMania XXV (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then an awesome WrestleMania opening video where various wrestlers talk what they think is the greatest WrestleMania moment of all time, then comments on the big matches tonight.

Howard Finkel welcomes us to the *sigh* 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.  I’m not even going to get into that today.  The Fink then introduces Nicole Somethingorother from the Pussycat Dolls, who sings a horrible rendition of “America The Beautiful.”

The Army National Guard presents WrestleMania!  “Shoot To Thrill” plays, fireworks, and Jim Ross welcomes us to WrestleMania.  Wow, I feel really welcome with all of these welcomes.  Justin Roberts introduces our first match, the Money In The Bank Lader Match!  Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole are doing a three-man commentary team tonight.  Also, we finally have the long awaited return of the Spanish announce table!  Carlos and Hugo are back, baby!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs. WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle and rocking the old school Belfast Bruiser vest thingy) vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane.  Christian’s entrance is the only one to get an audible pop from the huge crowd.  On TV, anyway.  According to people who were there, the crowd was way hotter live than it appeared on TV, so maybe there was some audio trouble or something.  Enough of that, on to the match!  Bell rings, everybody pairs off and brawls.  Kane and Henry go at it.  Maybe they’ll take each other to prevent them from dragging the match down.  Christian and Benjamin take them down with a ladder, then try to take out Kofi.  Kofi leapfrogs the ladder, then dropkicks it and legdrops the ladder with both the guys under it.  “Controlled frenzy” line from Cole.  The ladder gets set up and Kane and Henry climb it.  Other guys come in and take the big dudes out, then they all climb a couple of ladders.  Kane and Henry come back in and push the two ladders over, then fight each other again.  Kane knocks Henry down and throws one of the ladders out of the ring, then climbs the other.  Henry comes in and tips the ladder over to send Kane crashing.  Finlay comes in and takes out Henry, who throws the ladder out.  Finlay lands a tope suicida on Kane and Benjamin.  Christian follows with his own dive, followed by MVP, then stereo dives from Punk and Kofi.  Benjamin hits a fucking insane dive off of a tall ladder in the aisle onto the pile of guys.  “HOLY SHIT” chant.  Henry teases diving, but Henry whacks him with the stick.  Hornswoggle sets up a step ladder and Finlay helps him climb onto Henry, then dive onto the pile.  The video was skipping, so I think my DVD may have not burned properly.  Kofi does an awesome spot where he dropkicks Finlay through an open ladder.  Finlay nails him with the step ladder, then uses it to nail the other guys coming back in.  Finlay goes to make the climb, but Kofi kicks him off and climbs himself.  Henry comes in and pushes the ladder over.  The next awesome Kofi spot happens, where Henry is holding an unopened ladder vertically.  Kofi climbs it and gets caught by Henry, who transitions it into the World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder.  Henry climbs, but MVP comes and takes him down, then sets up another ladder between the set up ladder and the top rope.  Benjamin comes in and he and MVP do some crazy shit that ends with Shelton taking a powerbomb.  MVP climbs, Punk stops him.  Christian tries to stop him but gets knocked down, then gets back up on the horizontal ladder behind Punk.  They fight, then Christian hits a botched but cool Unprettier off the ladder.  MVP climbs up, but Benjamin sets up the crazy thing and runs up, then botches a sunset flip off the ladder and gets a “YOU FUCKED UP” chant.  Benjamin powerbombs MVP out of the ring onto Henry and Atlas.  Finlay and Benjamin both climb.  Shelton nails Finlay, who takes a bump on the horizontal ladder.  Christian comes in and fights with Benjamin.  Benjamin sets up the ladder that has been horizontal, so we now have two vertical ladders.  They climb, but the ladder falls over.  Benjamin spills out of the ring, but Christian catches the top rope with his foot in a cool Captain Morgan post and gets it straight again.  Punk tries to stop Christian, but gets his leg caught in the ladders.  Kane comes up and chokeslams Christian off the ladder (not as cool as it sounds).  Punk goes for the prize, but Kane goozles him.  Punk kicks Kane in the head to knock him down, then takes the briefcase of the win at 14:29.  That’s where I timed it, but my DVD did skip a bit so it probably is the 14:24 other reports have it as.  Fucking awesome match.  Kofi really shined here, but everyone had their moments.

Axxess highlights.

Kid Rock mini-concert.  He performs a medley of his songs consisting Bawitaba, some song I don’t know, Cowboy, All Summer Long, and So Hott.  During the last one, the 25 divas in the Battle Royal make their way to the ring.  The whole thing goes about 10 minutes.

Now I actually put some work into working out this clusterfuck of a match, so bear with me.

Divas Battle Royal featuring Kelly Kelly, WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Layla, Jillian Hall, Rosa Mendez, Maria, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Eve Torres, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Katie Lea, Sunny, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda, Joy Giovanni, Torrie Wilson, Alicia Fox, Tiffany Terrell, Victoria, and Santino Marella (in drag).  The bell rings and they start fighting while Roberts introduces the match.  Mae Young is at ringside with Candice Michelle as the guest timekeeper.  Now this clusterfuck is impossible to call live, but from my earlier research, the order of elimination is Layla, Joy, Rosa, Alicia, Sunny, Torrie, Jackie, Maria, Gail, Jillian, Eve, Tiffany, Kelly, Molly, Maryse, Katie Lea, Natalya, Victoria, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Michelle McCool… then the finish is Beth going for the Glam Slam on Melina, but Santino bundles them both out to win the match at 6:10.  Pointless, but at least we got to look at a bunch of hot chicks for a few minutes.  I can say that my ridiculously jealous wife is gone.  Candice comes in the ring to present the Miss WrestleMania crown and sash to the winner.  He introduces himself as “Santina, Santino’s twin sister from Italy.”  The announcers don’t even actually acknowledge that it’s Santino.  Beth looks on, pissed.

Jericho vs. Legends hype video, a lot of which is about Mickey Rourke.  They show Rourke taking his seat in the audience.

Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steaboat, Roddy Piper, & Jimmy Snuka (w/ Ric Flair).  Piper, who looks incredibly old, insists on starting.  He spits his gum at Jericho, then proceeds to kick his ass for the first few minutes, other than an embarrasing spot early on when Piper gets his arm stuck in the ropes.  Piper throws a half assed dropkick that only connects with one leg.  Snuka tags in and looks fucking terrible.  Steamboat tags in to a big pop and looks FUCKING AWESOME.  Steamboat nails a couple of GORGEOUS arm drags, causing me to mark out for an arm drag for the first time in my life.  Steamboat works the arm a bit, then tags Snuka back in.  They do a double chop and Snuka’s doesn’t even connect.  Jericho locks Snuka in the Walls of Jericho for the submission at 3:45.  Thank God.  He refuses to break the hold until Piper and Steamboat come in and force him.  There are some incidents of the audio going out for a second.  Piper goes after Jericho again, poking him in the eyes and locking in the sleeper hold.  Jericho escapes and hits an enzuigiri for the pin at 4:45.  Steamboat hits a sweet diving crossbody for a near fall.  Steamboat and Jericho go at it, and it’s awesome.  Jericho tosses Steamboat out and decks Flair as Steamboat skins the cat back in.  Steamboat sends Jericho out of the ring and dives onto him, then sends him back in and hits the diving karate chop.  More chops, then Steamboat gets a near fall with a reverse cradle.  Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault, but Steamboat avoids it.  Steamboat catches Jericho with a powerslam for a near fall.  Jericho locks in the Walls, but Steamboat manages to counter out with an inside cradle for another near fall.  Jericho goes for a backdrop suplex, but Steamboat lands on his feet.  Jericho catches the Codebreaker out of nowhere for the win at 8:57.  Snuka was awful.  Piper tried, but wasn’t good.  Steamboat was the fucking man and made the match.  Flair attacks Jericho after the match, but ends up taking a backdrop and eating the Codebreaker.  Jericho challenges Rourke.  Rourke stalls forever before finally getting in the ring.  They have an impromptu amateur boxing match which ends with Rourke catching Jericho with a left hand and knocking him down.  Flair comes in and celebrates with Rourke.  Another pointless waste of time.  The post-match stuff, not the match, though the match would have been MUCH better if it was just a Jericho/Steamboat singles match.

Army National Guard commercial.

The announcers chat a bit to introduce the Hardys video package.

Extreme Rules Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy.  Matt talks trash, then Jeff jumps on him and kicks his ass.  Jeff pulls a WrestleMania poster from under the ring and breaks it over Matt’s head, prompting a great line from Lawler: “Well, at least Matt finally got his face on the WrestleMania poster.”  Matt catches Jeff with a chair to the legs while Jeff was attempting the Whisper in the Wind, then moments later nailed him with a shop vac.  I was amused.  Matt hits the Side Effect on the chair for a near fall.  Ouch.  Matt sets up a table on the outside.  Logic says Matt will be the one to go through that table later on.  Matt takes a bump in the steps and the ref and trainer check on him.  Matt hits him with a Singapore cane, then puts a trash can over his head and hits him with a crutch.  Jeff hits a front suplex and goes up top, but Matt avoids the Swanton bomb.  Matt hits the Twist of Fate, but Jeff kicks out at two.  Jeff hits Matt with a chair, then sets him up on that table from earlier.  Jeff sets a chair on top of Matt, then sets another table on top of the table on which Matt is laying.  Jeff goes to the top rope and dives through the table.  Told ya so.  “HOLY SHIT” chant, but I’m pretty sure the top table actually made the spot safer.  Jeff puts Matt in the ring and covers, but Matt puts his foot on the bottom rope.  Jeff brings in a ladder, then sets up a chair and hits a leg drop off of it.  He sets up two ladders and does that “jump from the shorter ladder over the taller ladder and do a leg drop” spot, but Matt moves and Jeff dies.  Matt his a Twist of Fate using an open chair, which looks SICK, for the win at 13:15.  Good plunder match, and no doubt the best match they’ve ever had against each other.

Legends of WrestleMania video game commercial.

Randy Orton is shown in his locker room with Legacy, getting ready.  At least Dibiase and Rhodes got a second of screen time.

Lillian Garcia introduces the first Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania in 7 years.  JBL comes down, cutting a promo about how he is returning to Texas as a champion and being the only hero Texas has, or something to that effect.  Mysterio makes his entrance with an awesome Heath Ledger Joker mask and outfit.  Lillian does the introductions in-ring, then JBL nails Mysterio with a big boot, then nails him with some punches.  The referee asks Mysterio if he still wants to wrestle.  He says he does, so we have…

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio ducks a kick and hits an enzuigiri, a dropkick, the 619, and the diving splash for the win in 21 seconds.  Mysterio celebrates and leaves with the gold.  JBL takes the microphone and quits, which makes the crowd pop big.  He leaves, yelling at the crowd that they’ll regret him leaving.

A nice shot of the Houston skyline.  A NASCAR driver is in the crowd.

Shawn/Taker video package.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker.  Here we go.  Awesome entrances, as Michaels descends from above, then Taker rises from the stage.  Bell rings.  Taker looks to throw punches, but Michaels ducks and lands his own blows.  Taker gets hold of Michaels and tosses him into the turnbuckle.  Michaels responds with a defiant crotch chop.  Michaels leap frogs Taker and pounces on him.  Taker finally manages to land some punches and hammers Michaels down.  Michaels answers with chops, but Taker throws him into the corner, then back body drops him.  Taker press slams Shawn and drops an elbow.  First cover of the match gets a one count.  Taker hits Old School.  Shawn chop blocks Taker to weaken his leg, then locks in the figure-four.  Taker throws some punches and manages to escape.  Taker kicks Shawn’s ass for a minute until Michaels counters a chokeslam attempt into a crossface.  Taker finally manages to get up and drop Michaels with a side slam to escape it.  They trade blows.  Michaels hits the forearm and nips up.  Michaels knocks Taker down and goes to the top for the big elbow, but Taker gets up and catches him with the goozle.  Michaels counters the chokeslam attempt and feigns a superkick.  He goes for the figure-four again, but Taker locks in the Gogoplata.  Michaels scampers around and manages to get a rope break.  Michaels avoids the apron leg drop, causing Taker to hurt his leg again.  Michaels hits a baseball slide kick, then goes for a moonsault to the outside, but Taker avoids it.  Taker gets back in the ring and goes for a suicide dive.  Michaels pulls a camera man (played by Sim Snuka) in the way and Taker ALMOST KILLS HIMSELF.  I don’t know how he managed to not break his neck.  It was a tope suicida that almost turned into a Space Flying Tiger Drop.  Taker BARELY beats the count back in the ring.  Michaels tunes up the band and goes for the superkick, but Taker catches him with a huge chokeslam for a VERY close two count.  They counter each other’s finishes until Michaels lands the superkick for the one, two… TAKER KICKS OUT!  They rest for a moment, then Michaels nips up and stands over the dead Taker.  Taker comes back to life and goozles him, then gets up and goes for the Last Ride.  Michaels counters.  Taker goes for it again and hits it big time for the one, two, hegothimnohedidn’tcomeonref!  Taker, for some reason, goes for the diving elbow drop, but crashes and burns when Michaels moves.  When everybody gets up, Taker throws Michaels over the top rope.  Michaels skins the cat… right into the Tombstone!  Taker covers for the one, two, and MICHAELS KICKS OUT!  Taker lowers the straps to reveal his chest, which has been beaten blood red.  He goes for another Tombstone, but Michaels counters with somewhat of a DDT.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop, then NAILS the superkick for a very believable near fall.  Taker’s not done yet, though.  They make it to their feet and trade blows until Taker knocks Shawn down.  Taker goes for the Tombstone again, but Michaels counters.  Taker runs into Michaels’ boot in the corner.  Michaels goes for another moonsault, but Taker catches him and drops him with a second Tombstone and gets the pin at 30:43.  Fucking amazing epic match here, one of the best matches in WrestleMania history.

Raw Draft special commercial.

Evander Holyfield is in the crowd.  The announcers reflect on the epic match we just saw, but still have to feign interest in the matches still to come.

Edge/Cena/Show video package.

Lillian introduces Vickie Guerrero, who is wheeled down by Chavo.  At least Chavo gets a WrestleMania payday.  Edge makes his way out, then Show.  Cena’s old music hits and a bunch of Cena look-alikes come out and line the entry way.  Then the real Cena comes out.  I guess it’s the real Cena anyway.  In-ring intros, then we have…

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena.  Cena tries to out-quick the other guys, but gets knocked down.  Edge tries to form an alliance with Show, but Show quickly betrays him.  Edge is disposed of, then Show beats down Cena.  Show ends up outside the ring and Cena hits his diving Fameasser to the oustide on Show.  Edge and Cena end up in the ring.  Edge hits his DDT and gets a near fall.  Show makes it back in.  Chavo pulls Cena out of the ring and gets F-U… er, has his Attitude Adjusted for his troubles.  Show does the Andre “tied up in the ropes” spot and watches Cena beat up Edge.  Vickie gets out of her wheelchair and gets on the apron.  Edge accidentally spears her for the 374th time.  Show finally gets out and beats up everyone.  Show goes for a double chokeslam, but Cena gets away, so Edge is the only one to take it.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjuster, but Show counters and nails his KO punch.  Show and Edge fight outside.  Edge spears Show through the guardrail.  Edge covers Cena for a two count back in the ring.  Edge goes for the spear, but Cena counters and locks in the STF.  Show makes it back up and pulls Cena out of the ring, then headbutts him.  Show goes for a Vader bomb on Edge, but Edge avoids it.  Edge and Cena unite to suplex Show, then they clothesline him out of the ring.  Edge takes a cheap shot and gets a near fall on Cena.  Cena hits the Throwback and goes up top.  Show pushes him off right into a spear from Edge in a cool spot.  Edge hops on Show’s back and tries to put him down with a sleeper.  Cena shows his retard strength and lifts both of them for the Attitude Adjuster.  Edge falls of and Show takes the move.  Cena hits it on Edge, dropping him on top of Show, then covers Show for the win at 14:43.  Not a bad match, but nothing was going to follow Shawn vs. Taker.

WrestleMania XXVI is coming to Arizona!

Justin Roberts introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2009: The Funks (Terry & Dory Jr.), Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, The Von Erichs (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky Steamboat, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Austin appears on the stage in his suit, then leaves.  He comes back out on his four wheeler in an Austin 3:16 shirt.  He drives down to the ring and drinks some beer, even sharing one with good ol’ J.R.  Ross puts this over as the end of the Austin era.

Backlash!  Backlash!  BACKLASH!

Lillian announces the attendance as 72,744.

Triple H/Orton history package.

Triple H is shown walking backstage.  He runs into Vince and Shane McMahon.  They exchange nods of the head.  Main event time!

WWE Championship Match: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Triple H can lose the title by DQ or count-out.  Entrances and in-ring introductions here too.  Triple H kicks Orton’s ass to start and gets told off by the referee.  Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere, but is an idiot, so doesn’t cover.  Orton goes for the punt of death, but Triple H avoids it and hits the Pedigree.  He is also an idiot and doesn’t cover.  They fight outside for a moment, then back in, then back out, then back in.  Orton begs off, but Triple H hammers him anyway.  They end up outside again.  Orton reverses Triple H and whips him into the steps, then into the time keeper’s area.  Triple H makes it back in the ring to avoid being counted out, but Orton goes to work on him.  My DVD starts skipping again.  Must have been a bad burn.  It finally starts playing right again, but my timing is going to be completely screwed now.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters with a quick jackknife hold for a near fall.  The match speeds up a bit now, with Triple H avoiding the RKO and getting a near fall with a quick schoolboy, then catching Orton with the big spinebuster.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Orton hits his 3.0 backbreaker for a near fall.  Orton catches Triple H coming off the turnbuckle with a sweet dropkick.  Triple H avoids the punt again and sends Orton outside.  Triple H teases hitting Orton with a monitor, but thinks better of it.  They tease a Pedigree through the announce table, but Orton backdrops Triple H to the other table, which doesn’t give.  Orton drops Triple H with his sick DDT off the table and they do the big count-out tease, but Triple H makes it back in.  Orton punishes him some more.  Ref bump.  Orton hits the RKO and retrieves the sledgehammer.  Triple H catches Orton coming back in and punts him.  Triple H hits Orton with the sledgehammer, hides it, and hammers Orton with punches.  The referee wakes up and makes Triple H stop throwing punches.  Triple H hits the Pedigree for the pin at 23:34 (according to Wikipedia since my timing got fucked up).  Flattest Mania finish ever, and Orton totally got jobbed.

WrestleMania highlight video.  Fin.

WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, & Chairs 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  We are LIVE from Houston, Texas!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts will presumably be taking turns playing ring announcer.

Triple Threat Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger.  Three-way brawl to start.  Crowd chants “KOFI!”  Ziggler is the first to climb for the belt while the other 2 guys are outside.  Kofi and Swagger come back in and push the ladder over.  Kofi and Swagger brawl a bit.  Swagger is sent outside.  Ziggler brings in another ladder to hit Kofi with.  It’s much shorter than the original ladder.  Ziggler makes a ladder bridge in the corner and throws Kofi onto it, then hits a neckbreaker off of it.  Swagger comes back in, wrist taped from an earlier spot with Kofi, and gives Ziggler the decapitator into the ladder.  Kofi springboards and kicks Swagger through the ladder.  Wacky stuff happens.  Ziggler hits a Fameasser on Kofi onto the ladder, which Swagger is under.  Cool spot.  Vickie Guerrero gets in the ring while everybody else is outside.  Vickie decides to climb the ladder.  Kofi climbs up the other side.  Vickie keeps climbing anyway.  Kofi teases pushing the ladder over.  Ziggler begs him to stop.  Swagger hits Kofi with a ladder.  Vickie climbs down, screams, and bails.  Swagger throws the small ladder at Ziggler.  Kofi sends Swagger outside.  Ziggler takes Kofi and himself outside.  Back inside, Swagger locks Kofi in the ankle lock.  Kofi tries to climb the ladder.  Ziggler climbs over him and tries to take down the belt.  Swagger tries to climb over Kofi.  Kofi knocks him down.  Kofi and Ziggler fight atop the ladder.  Ziggler locks in the sleeper on top of the ladder!  Kofi breaks free and knocks Ziggler to the mat.  Swagger climbs up and fights with Kofi.  They get the belt down, but drop it to the mat.  Ziggler grabs it and is declared the winner in 8:57.  Awesome match.  The finish sounded stupid on paper, but it was well executed.

Lawler blames Cole for encouraging people to interfere in Ladder matches.

Houston!

Wade Barrett gives Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Husky Harris, and Michael McGillicutty a pep talk in the Nexus locker room.  David Otunga is out from being completely massacred on Raw.

Tables Match: Michelle McCool & Layla vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya & Beth Phoenix.  They brawl.  Phoenix and Natalya hit slams, then bring in the painted pink table from Smackdown.  Phoenix gets both of LayCool on her shoulders.  They escape, but get clotheslined.  McCool gets knocked off the apron, but overshoots a ringside table.  LayCool get the advantage and beat up Beth and Nattie.  Beth takes a nasty bump out the ring.  LayCool bring in another table and work over Natalya.  McCool goes for a top rope Styles Clash.  Beth revives and makes the save.  Beth goes for a press slam, but McCool escapes.  LayCool make a comeback.  Layla sends Natalya out of the ring.  Layla tries to suplex Phoenix through a table, but fails because she’s weak.  Natalya comes back in.  They go for a double press slam, but McCool saves.  Natalya goes for a catapult on McCool, but Layla saves.  Natalya puts both of them in the Sharpshooter!  She holds them as Beth sets up the special table.  Beth and Natalya get psyched up, but LayCool rally.  They send Beth outside and double team Natalya.  LayCool go for a double superplex on Natalya, but Phoenix makies the save.  Layla rams her into the post.  They go for the superplex again.  Natalya pushes them both off onto the table, but they’re so skinny the table doesn’t break.  Natalya comes off the top with a splash through the table to win it in 9:24.  Really good match.  Best women’s match I’ve seen in a long time.

Lots and lots of WWE on USA this week!

World Heavyweight Champion Kane cuts an awesome Christmas promo backstage, then tears up some presents and a Christmas tree.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov come out.  Santino cuts a hilarious promo.  He says that TLC stands for “Totally Lethal Cobra.”  Love this promo.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Santino Marella & Valdimir Kozlov (c) vs. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater of The Nexus (w/ Michael McGillcutty & Husky Harris).  Gabriel and Santino start with a great sequence.  Santino drops Gabriel with an elbow smash.  Slater tags in and gets schooled by Santino.  They have a good exchange too.  Slater gets the advantage and works over Santino.  Crowd chants “Wendy!” at Slater.  Santino frightens Slater by threatening the Cobra, then tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov beats up Slater and sends him out of the ring with a fall away slam.  Kozlov goes outside and rams Slater into the apron.  Harris chop blocks Kozlov’s leg behind the referee’s back.  Nexus get the heat on Kozlov.  Kozlov sends Slater flying with a battering ram headbutt and makes the hot tag.  Santino runs wild on Gabriel and goes for the Cobra.  McGillicutty attacks Santino to cause the DQ in 6:28.  Really fun match.  The Nexus beat the hell out of Santino and Kozlov.  Wade Barrett comes out with a chair and beats the tag champs with it.  Those bastards!

Please, don’t try this at home!

Smackdown vs. Raw 2011!

Moments ago, The Nexus beat up Santino & Kozlov!

Ladder Match to determine the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship: Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  Sheamus is still wearing his kingly regalia.  They lock up.  King Sheamus gets a side headlock takeover and lands a shoulder block.  They lock up again and tumble out of the ring together.  Sheamus sends Morrison into the barricade, then makes a ladder bridge between the apron and the announce table.  He whips Morrison, who slides under the ladder.  Morrison beats up Sheamus.  Sheamus rallies and throws Morrison into the crowd.  Morrison comes off the barricade with a clothesline.  Back in the ring, the fight with a ladder.  Morrison comes off the top rope, leaps OVER the ladder, and hits Sheamus with a corkscrew elbow smash.  Morrison sets up the ladder in a way that he wouldn’t be able to get the contract anyway.  Sheamus traps him the tree of woe on the ladder, then pushes the ladder over onto him, presumably as punishment for his stupidity.  Sheamus works Morrison’s knee, which was injured in the fall.  Sheamus uses the ladder brilliantly to destroy the shit out of Morrison’s knee.  Sheamus finally climbs the ladder.  Morrison throws another ladder at him to knock him down.  Awesome.  Sheamus seems to take offense to the fact that Morrison is still fighting, so he destroys the shit out of Morrison’s knee some more.  Morrison hits a drop toe hold, sending Sheamus crashing into the ladder that he was holding.  Morrison drops Sheamus with a head kick.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker.  They bring in new ladders.  LADDER FIGHT!  Morrison wins.  Awesome.  He sets up a ladder bridge in the corner.  Morrison gives Sheamus an atomic drop onto a ladder, then sends him outside.  Morrison throws the ladder outside onto Sheamus.  Morrison sets up the ladder that he had used to make the bridge that was never used.  He climbs the ladder as best he can with one leg.  Sheamus comes back in and delivers the brogue kick to the injured knee!  Sheamus throws Morrison outside  and climbs the ladder.  The contract is too far away.  Morrison hobbles up the ladder and knocks Sheamus down.  Sheamus pulls Morrison off the ladder and goes for a powerbomb, but Morrison sends him out of the ring with a headscissors!  Morrison hops up the ladder.  Sheamus comes back in and pushes the ladder over.  Sheamus goes for a move, but Morrison slips out.  Sheamus back body drops him out of the ring.  Morrison narrowly avoids the ladder bridge.  Morrison makes it back up and tries to fucking superplex Sheamus off the in-ring ladder.  Sheamus fights him off.  They fight on the ladder.  Sheamus ends up taking the bump out of the ring THROUGH the ladder bridge.  Morrison comes back in and climbs the ladder.  Sheamus struggles his way back into the ring and tries to push the ladder over.  Morrison catches the rope with his foot, tips the ladder back over and drops Sheamus with a kick.  Morrison hops up the ladder and takes down the contract to win it in 19:08.  Fucking great match.  I love that Morrison never stopped selling the injured knee.

Buy crappy WWE movies for Christmas!

Josh Matthews interviews WWE Champion The Miz.  He has Alex Riley bring him the belt in a briefcase for some reason.

Todd Grisham tries to interview Wade Barrett, but Husky Harris won’t let him.  They go into the locker room and find that Gabriel, Slater, and McGillicutty have been beaten up.

Tables Match for the WWE Championship: The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) vs. Randy Orton.  They show the night Miz back door’d his way into the title.  Orton beats up Miz to start.  If it’s a Tables Match, why isn’t Riley openly interfering?  Riley pulls Miz out of the corner to help him avoid Orton.  The referee bitches at him, but what the hell is he going to do about it?  Orton throws Miz out of the ring and pulls out a table from under the ring.  Orton beats up Miz.  Riley puts the table back under the ring.  Orton suplexes Miz on the floor.  Orton tries to bring in the table again, but Miz kicks it into his face.  They finally get the table set up.  Orton goes for a powerslam off the steps.  Miz slips out and trips Orton, sending Orton’s face into the steps.  Miz hits Orton with the steps and sets up another table.  The table collapses when Miz puts Orton on it.  Miz sets it back up and checks its sturdiness.  He puts Orton on the table and goes to the top rope.  Orton gets off the table.  Miz goes after him and gets his ass kicked.  Miz fights back and takes Orton back inside.  Miz hits the corner clothesline.  Orton hits an Angle Slam.  Orton throws a table on top of Miz.  You’ve got it backwards, Randy.  Orton hits a superplex, but Riley moves the table out of the way and takes it out of the ring.  They trade punches.  Orton hits some clotheslines and a powerslam.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER.  Riley tries to attack Orton on the outside, but gets clotheslined.  Orton brings a table back into the ring.  Orton hits the 3.0 and humps the mat.  He sets up a powerbomb.  Riley distracts Orton.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale.  Orton pushes him off and bumps the ref.  Orton RKOs Riley and powerbombs him through the table.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Orton, then moves Riley and puts Orton in the broken table.  Miz revives the referee, who awards him the match in 13:00.  Awesome finish.  But wait!  The referee sees the replay and orders the match to CONTINUE!  A pissed off Orton beats the shit out of Miz.  Orton throws Miz back into the ring and gets on the apron.  Miz throws Riley into Orton, sending Orton crashing through a table.  Miz wins for real in 15:16.  Good match.  I love both of the finishes.

Royal Rumble hype.

Rosa Mendez admires Alberto Del Rio’s car.  They speak Spanish to each other.  Edge jumps in the back seat.  Del Rio says he doesn’t care of Edge abducts his ring announcer.  Edge puts over his experience in TLC matches.

Houston!

Tony Chimel does a poor job of explaining a TLC match.  Rey Mysterio is rocking a Gene Simmons mask tonight.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Fatal Four-Way Tables, Ladders, & Chairs Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Kane (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge.  Kane and Del Rio attack their respective rivals.  Kane and Edge brawl outside while Del Rio and Mysterio brawl in the ring.  Mysterio sends Del Rio into the turnbuckle with a flying headscissors, then hits a sliding dropkick.  Kane and Edge knock each other down on the outside.  Striker says some factually incorrect things.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Del Rio pushes it over.  Mysterio takes advantage of the opportunity to take out Kane and Edge on the way down.  Del Rio climbs the ladder.  Mysterio brings in another ladder.  Del Rio cuts him off with a kick.  Mysterio gives Del Rio a drop toe hold into a ladder.  Mysterio climbs the vertical ladder.  Del Rio grabs his leg and throws him at the corner ladder.  Mysterio saves himself and hits Del Rio with a seated senton using the ladder.  Kane and Edge make it into the ring and brawl.  Kane throws a ladder at Mysterio and Del Rio on the outside, then tries to chokeslam Edge.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge brings in a tall ladder.  Kane sets a ladder on the apron.  Edge hits him with a baseball slide dropkick into the ladder.  Edge sets up a table on the outside.  Kane rams Edge’s head into the announce table, throws him over the barricade, boots Del Rio in the face, and punches Mysterio.  Kane is on a rampage!  Kane tries to set up a table and breaks the legs off.  He punches Mysterio again in frustration and stomps Del Rio in frustration.  Kane goes for a double chokeslam through the table on Mysterio and Del Rio, but Edge prevents it.  All 3 opponents gang up on Kane, then Edge and Mysterio turn on Del Rio.  Kane rallies and kicks everyone’s ass.  Edge sends Kane into the post.  Edge and Mysterio put Kane on a table at ringside.  Edge comes off of the ladder in the ring and splashes Kane through the table.  Mysterio and Del Rio fight in the ring.  Del Rio lands an enzuigiri.  Del Rio tries to use a chair.  Mysterio gives him a drop toe hold and goes for the 619.  Edge spears Mysterio and Del Rio in quick succession.  Edge climbs the ladder.  Kane comes back in and pushes it over.  Edge crotches himself on the top rope.  Del Rio and Mysterio clothesline Kane out of the ring.  Kane pulls them both out and kicks their asses.  Kane hits everyone with a chair.  Everyone is on the stage now.  Del Rio hits Kane with an enzuigiri.  Edge follows with a spear on Kane.  Mysterio climbs the prop tables hanging from the set and gives Kane the seated senton.  Mysterio runs down the ring and tries to set up the tall ladder.  Del Rio makes it back to the ring to cut him off.  Edge makes it back too.  Mysterio hits Del Rio with the 619.  He tries to deliver one to Edge, but Edge holds up a chair that catches Mysterio’s legs.  Edge and Del Rio climb the ladder.  Mysterio sets up a shorter ladder next to them and climbs up,.  He knocks Del Rio off and switches over to the tall ladder.  Edge and Mysterio fight at the top of the ladder.  They both crash to the mat.  Ricardo tries to revive Del Rio, then says “fuck it” and climbs the ladder himself.  Kane has made it back to the ring.  Ricardo begs off, but Kane chokeslams him off the ladder.  Kane chokeslams Del Rio, then chokeslams Edge off the apron through a table.  Mysterio hits a drop toe hold onto a chair, then gives Kane the 619, then knocks him out of the ring with a chair shot.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Del Rio comes in and pulls him down.  Del Rio hits the Minoru Special and tortures Rey’s arm.  Rey taps, but it doesn’t count.  Del Rio climbs the ladder and touches the belt.  Mysterio pushes the ladder over.  Del Rio takes a crazy bump off the ladder through a ringside table.  Mysterio climbs the ladder.  Kane comes back to life.  Mysterio tries a springboard moonsault, but Kane catches him and hits the Tombstone Piledriver!  Kane laughs.  He has a cut on his head.  I hope they don’t stomp the match to tend to it like morons.  Kane climbs the ladder.  Edge comes back in and its him with a chair a bunch.  Edge spears Kane off the apron and Kane crashes through a table.  Edge climbs the ladder and takes down the belt to become a 10-time World Champion in 22:44.  Crazy fun match.

Lots of USA on WWE this week!

National Guard rules!

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out in a suit and bashes the crowd for being fat.  The Big Santa and the Bella Twins come out and throw out gifts.  Rhodes makes fun of him walking around in his underwear in Knucklehead.  Show plugs the DVD and tells Rhodes to stop being such an uptight jerk.  Rhodes bitches about not being in movies.  Show offers him a role in Knucklehead 2 and touches his suit.  Rhodes throws a fit about the latter.  Show gives him a spinebuster and rips his suit off.

WWEShop.com.

Wade Barrett and Husky Harris walk backstage.  Harris walks through a door way and is hit by a chair.  John Cena says “That’s everybody.  See you out there!”

TLC song!  It sucks.  You can download the suckitude on iTunes.

Houston!

CM Punk comes out to replace Striker on commentary for the main event.  He should have done that before the first match.

Chair Match: Wade Barrett vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Barrett tries to bail, but Cena takes him over with a side headlock.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Barrett bails and goes for a chair.  Cena cuts him off and throws chairs away so Barrett can’t get them.  Barrett drops him with a punch and gets his hands on a chair.  Barrett swings, missers, and hits the announce table, swings, misses, and hits the post, swings, misses, and hits the steps.  Cena bails into the ring, then bails again to grab a chair of his own.  CHAIR FIGHT!  They hit chairs, then drop them.  Lame.  Cena beats down Barrett, then sets up a chair and bulldogs Barrett into it.  Cover gets 2.  Cena swings a chair, but Barrett hides behind the referee.  They fight over the chair and throw it outside.  Barrett beats up Cena.  Barrett hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett drops Cena with a series of punches.  Outside, Barrett whips Cena into the steps.  Barrett swings a chair at Cena’s head, but Cena avoids it and crawls up the aisle.  Barrett follows and wallops him with a chair.  Barrett carries the steps halfway up the aisle, then wallops Cena across the back with another chair on the stage.  Barrett goes for something on the stage, but Cena back body drops him.  Cena disappears, then comes back with a rolling office chair.  He puts Barrett in the chair, pours water on him to wake him up, then rolls him down the ramp into the steps.  Awesome spot.  Barrett hits Cena in the gut with a chair and boots him in the head.  Barrett puts a chair around Cena’s neck and rams him into the post.  Ouch.  Back inside, Barrett works Cena’s neck with a chair.  Barrett sits on the chair on top of Cena.  Cena powers the chair up and pushes Barrett over.  Cena blocks the oncoming chair and goes for his comeback, but shoulder blocks a chair.  Barrett ties Cena up in the ropes and beats on him.  Barrett hits him in the gut and back with the chair.  Cena’s selling is so fucking great.  Cena fights out and hits the spinning suplex deal and the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Barrett slips out and hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett wedges a chair between the top and middle turnbuckles.  He tries to throw Cena into it, but Cena counters him.  He goes for the STF, but Barrett kicks him off into the chair.  Cover gets 2.  Barrett comes off the middle rope with a chair elbow drop, but Cena avoids it.  Cena gets the chair and wallops Barret with it in the gut and back.  Cena hits the diving Fameasser with the chair!  Cena sets up 6 open chairs facing each other and gives Barrett the Attitude Adjustment onto the contraption.  Fucking ouch.  Cena gets the pin in 19:10.  Great match.

Cena decides he’s not done with Barrett just yet.  He follows Barrett up the ramp and whacks him with the chair some more.  Barrett tries to crawl away around the set.  Cena puts Barrett under a giant palette and pulls the prop chairs hanging from the set down onto it.  Great blow off to the feud.

Fantastic show.  Thumbs WAY up.  I highly recommend it.

TNA No Surrender 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Okay PPV intro video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Oshawa, Ontario!  This is TNA’s first PPV outside of the United States.

Sting kicks off the show.  Huh?  Oh, he’s just out to cut a promo.  Sting says he will challenge the winner of tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Bound For Glory next month.  He talks about the younger guys not respecting the business or nothing, makes a Bret Hart reference, and warns AJ Styles and Samoa Joe that it’s Show time.

Earlier today: Christian Cage arrived at work.

Tenay and West inform us that due to Hurricane Ike, Booker T wasn’t able to make it to the show.  He was supposed to be in the Four-Way World Title match tonight.  They run down the card for the evening.  Finally time for the opener.

The Rock N Rave Infection (Lance Rock, Jimmy Rave, & Christy Hemme) vs. The Prince Justice Brotherhood (Curry Man, Super Eric, & Shark Boy).  Rave and Eric start.  Eric sends Rave out and hits the first suicide dive of the night, then throws him back in and hits a missile dropkick for a two count.  Rock and Shark Boy tag in.  Rock statys in briefly before tagging back out to Rave.  Sharky kicks his ass and tags in Curry Man.  Curry forces Rave to tag in Christy.  Funny exchange, wnen Shark and Rave come back in.  Sharky gets backdropped out of the ring, then Rock whips him into the guardrail.  Rock N Rave beat up Shark Boy until Sharky tags in Curry Man.  Curry kisses Hemme.  She likes it.  He tries pin her with a reverse cradle, but Rock breaks it.  Rock takes down Curry and Christy hits her stupid split leg drop for a near fall.  Shark hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Hemme, but Rock nails him.  Eric hits a double DVD on Rock and Rave.  Curry pins Hemme for the victory at 7:49.  Fun comedy match.

Awesome Kong/ODB video package.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. ODB.  Saeed jumps ODB in the aisle because ODB ripped her veil off recently on iMPACT!  Kong takes ODB to the ring and beats her up, but misses a splash, which allows ODB to go on the offensive.  ODB brings in a table and sets it up in the corner.  Kong reverses the Irish whip attempt and clotheslines ODB.  They go outside and fight into the crowd.  Kong gets a near fall on the ramp, then tries to sandwich ODB against the ring post.  ODB moves and Kong lariats the post.  ODB hits a Thesz press for a near fall I think.  Back in the ring, ODB sends Kong into a chair set up in the corner and schoolgirls her for a near fall.  ODB sets up the table and tries to slam Kong.  Kong goes for the Awesome Bomb, but ODB fights out of it.  Kong stands on the middle rope and tells Saeed to bring her a chair.  ODB powerbombs Kong onto the table, which doesn’t break through.  Ouch.  Saeed pulls ODB out of the ring, but gets sent into the guardrail.  ODB gets a near fall on Kong with an inside cradle.  Kong sandwiches ODB in the corner and nails her with a backfist.  Saeed gives Kong another table, which is set up in the corner.  ODB takes a drink from her flask and sprays it in Kong’s face, but Kong still manages to give her a spinebuster through the table for the win at 10:24.  It wasn’t awful.

Generic blonde interviews Christian Cage.  He talks about wanting to be a wrestler growing up just one hour from where the PPV is tonight.  He says he’s going to win the title in front of his family and friends tonight.

Abyss & Morgan/Team 3D video package.

Team 3D vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan.  Abyss and Brother Ray start.  The storyline here is Abyss spend time in a nuthouse to curb his violent tendencies (using weapons and stuff).  Ray hits a Rock Bottom, then tags in Devon, who hammers Abyss with punches.  Abyss clotheslines him and tags in Morgan.  Team 3D tries to leave, but Abyss and Morgan case them down and they fight in the aisle and back to the ring.  3D works on Abyss’ leg to half ass build the heat until Abyss makes the lukewarm tag to Morgan, who cleans house.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint on Devon and covers, but Ray pulls the referee out of the ring.  Johnny Devine runs in and hits Morgan with a chair.  Devon covers, but Morgan kicks out.  3D hits the reverse 3D, but Morgan kicks out again.  They set up for the proper 3D, but Morgan clotheslines them and tags in Abyss.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment (I think that’s what it’s called) on Devine to dispose of him.  3D hits the Doomsday Device on Abyss, but Morgan breaks the cover.  Morgan fights Ray on the outside while Abyss and Devon fight in the ring.  Abyss hits a weak chokeslam for a near fall, then picks up the chair.  Before he decides to use it, Ray makes it back in and hits him from behind.  Morgan pulls him out and punches the chair into Devon’s face.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Devon for the win at 11:35 to put the finishing touches on this crapfest.  Bubba low blows Abyss and nails Morgan with the chair, then 3D and Devine bail.  Morgan gets up to find Abyss holding the chair and thinks Abyss was the one who hit him.

Bashir/Williams/Creed video package.

Three-Way Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed.  A Canadian is defending the title in Canada and Earl Hebner is the referee.  Uh oh.  Of course we get the obligatory “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant.  Early action is fast and furious.  Creed hits the second suicide dive of the night to take out Williams and Bashir outside the ring.  They do lots of cool stuff, but most of it is too quick to call.  Williams hits his rana suicida, then Bashir takes him out with a baseball slide dropkick.  Bashir and Creed fight for a bit until Williams makes it back in and sets up a double Canadian Destroyer.  Sorry, not going to happen in this lifetime.  Creed hits a double diving leg drop on both of them.  Williams goes for the Destroyer on Creed, but gets countered.  Williams puts Bashir in the Sharpshooter to the delight of the crowd.  Bashir crawls over and covers Creed, but Williams pulls him back to the middle of the ring.  Creed hits a bulldog on Williams to break the hold.  Creed counters a Destroyer attempt with the same Beach-Break like move he did at the previous PPV.  Williams hits the Destroyer on Creed and covers.  Bashir pulls him out of the ring and sends him into the guardrail, then slips in and pins Creed to win the title at 8:16.  Good match.

Samoa Joe arrives at the building.  The World Champion can’t trouble himself to make it to work on time?

Wilde/Love video package.  The Beautiful People and Kip James make their entrance.  Every one of Kip’s gimmicks is progressively more gay than the last.  Taylor is the hometown girl.  Native champions are not doing well on this show so far.  Taylor introduces her backup for the night, Rhino.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) (w/ Rhino) vs. Angelina Love (w/ Kip James & Velvet Sky).  They trade girlie punches to start.  Traci Brooks comes out to take notes or something.  She’s the “Knockout Law.”  Sky nails Wilde with Kip’s purple makeup kit outside the ring.  They trade shots back in the ring.  Love hits a front suplex for a near fall.  Wilde gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Rhino Gores an interfering Kip James.  Sky grabs Wilde from behind and holds her so Love can nail her.  Wilde ducks and Love puts on the brakes.  Wilde dropkicks Love into Sky, then hits a Northern Lights suplex for the win at 6:23.  Lousy and boring.

Lethal/Dutt/Val video package.  Tonight they’ll have a ladder match with So Cal Val’s engagement ring hanging above the ring.  The winner gets Val.  Yeah, that’s really smart way to choose your man.

Ladder of Love Match:
Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt.  Good exchange to start, with Dutt taking a Dragon suplex and landing on his knees, then Lethal hitting a tope suicida.  Tenay says he’s just heard that Jacqueline attacked Salinas in the bathroom.  Lethal backdrops Dutt out of the ring and onto a ladder.  Lethal climbs the ladder and goes for the prize, but Dutt springboards to the ladder and drops Lethal into the ropes.  Dutt heads up the ladder, but Lethal powerbombs him.  Dutt brings in another ladder and sets it up between the ropes and the main ladder.  Lethal takes a bump into it, then Dutt hits a springboard flip.  It’s really hard to describe some of this shit.  The second ladder is now on top of the first ladder.  Lethal catapults Dutt, but completely misses the ladders.  Lethal takes the second ladder down and uses it against Dutt.  Matches like this can be really hard to call.  Sick tree of woe spot with the ladder.  They fight in the aisle.  Lethal takes a bump into a ladder set up on two chairs.  Slight “HOLY SHIT” chant.  The make it back in the ring and both set up ladders.  Dutt puts Lethal in the camel clutch ON TOP OF THE LADDERS.  Lethal fights out and sends Dutt crashing to the mat.  Lethal gets his leg caught in the ladder and Val comes in to help him.  Dutt yells at Val.  Dutt and Lethal climb opposite sides of the ladder.  Val gives Lethal a low blow, allowing Dutt to win at 13:22.  They make out after the match.  I’m sure absolutely every one saw this one coming.

Jeremy Borash interviews Kurt Angle.

Beer Money/LAX video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) (w/ Jacqueline) vs. LAX (w/ Hector Guerrero).  Homicide wants Roode, who bails and tags in Storm.  Remember, Roode hit Homicide in the eye with a beer bottle at the previous PPV.  Hernandez tags in and hits a springboard shoulder block on Storm.  Storm hits a Lung Blower on Hernandez and covers, but Homicide makes the save.  Hernandez goes for a powerbomb on Storm, but Roode clips his knee.  Homicide eventually tags in and then tags Roode’s face with punches.  Homicide hits a DDT off the turnbuckle and covers, but Storm saves.  Roode hits a spinebuster, but Hernandez saves.  Hernandez sends Roode out and Homicide hits a suicide dive.  Hernandez climbs the ropes, but Storm spits beer in this face and powerbombs him down.  Second time tonight that spot as been used.  Homicide goes for Roode’s head with a beer bottle, but smashes it into the steps and maybe hits his hand up.  Hernandez hits a dive on everybody.  Roode and Homicide back in the ring.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killa, but Jacqueline throws powder in his eyes.  Roode hits the Payoff on Homicide for the win at 8:44.  Not bad, but not as good as their previous PPV matches.

Styles/Trigg video package.

MMA/Amateur Wrestling Match: Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles.  Trigg cuts a promo to piss off the crowd.  There will be three 5 minute rounds, with a 1 minute rest period between rounds.  Typical boring MMA stuff until the take a spill out of the ring.  They go back in the ring and it goes back to being a boring MMA match.  AJ locks in a cross armbreaker as the first round ends.  Crowd chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT” as the second round starts.  AJ hits an accidental low blow and the match is ruled a no contest at 7:16.  This “match” was just plain retarded.  AJ nails Trigg with a Singapore cane afte the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Samoa Joe.  He rips on Sting for not working house shows.

Joe/Booker/Christian/Angle video package.  Booker isn’t here because of the weather, so now it’s a Three-Way Match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle.  Sting comes down and Joe attacks him the aisle.  AJ comes out and tries to make peace.  Sting leaves.  Joe goes to the ring so we can have the introductions and the match can start.  Christian and Joe double team Angle a bit, then go at it themselves.  Angle comes back in and hits a belly-to-belly overhead suplex to send Christian over the ropes and out of the ring.  Angle wears down Joe with a rear chin lock.  Christian makes it back in to take a belly-to-belly superplex from Angle.  Joe hits his powerslam on Angle for a two count.  Angle counters an Unprettier attempt from Chrstian into the rolling Germans.  Joe goes for the choke on Angle.  Angle tries to give him the Angle Slam, but Joe hits a German.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster on Christian but fails.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe for a near fall.  Tower of doom spot in the corner.  Joe gets a two count on Christian, then Angle.  Angle tries to give Christian a German off the apron, but Christian holds on, so it just looks gay.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Joe schoolboys Angle for a near fall.  Angle locks Joe in the ankle lock, then puts both in it at the same time.  They flip out of it.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Christian and covers, but Angle grabs referee Earl Hebner’s shirt.  Hebner finally gets away and counts two.  Joe throws Christian out of the ring into Angle, then dives out onto both of them.  They make it back into the ring and Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe.  Christian follows with a frog splash, then sends Angle out of the ring.  Christian hits the Unprettier on Joe and covers, but Angle pulls Hebner out and throws him into the guardrail.  Angle wallops Christian with a chair, then Angle Slams him out of the ring.  He clobbers Joe with the chair and locks in the ankle lock.  Jeff Jarrett comes down and blasts Angle with the guitar.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Jarrett puts Hebner back in the ring to count the pin at 15:29.  Joe vs. Sting next month a Bound For Glory!  Alright match.

All in all, a lackluster show with a couple of okay matches, but nothing outstanding.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/2/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, then Cole and Lawler welcome us LIVE to Saint Louis, Missouri!  Tonight: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho!

Lillian Garcia introduces Shane McMahon.  They show the closing angle from last week’s Raw.  He announces that he will be facing Randy Orton in a No Holds Barred Match at No Way Out.  Shane says he’ll do everything he can to make sure Orton is unable to compete at WrestleMania.  “I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD!”  Orton comes out.  Orton says he, Dibiase, and Rhodes didn’t fight back and let Shane beat them up last week.  At No Way Out, he’s going to put Shane in the hospital right next to Vince.  Orton teases getting in the ring, then Legacy to try jump Shane.  Shane pulls out a hidden Singapore cane and smacks them with it.  Commercial.

WWE Intercontinenal Champion CM Punk & Mickie James vs. William Regal & Layla.  Regal gets his rematch against Punk for the title next week.  The men start.  Punk nails some kicks, then the women come in.  Layla attacks, Mickie comes back, then they both go down from a double clothesline.  Men come back in.  Punk his a flurry of strikes.  Regal bails.  James dives off the apron onto Layla.  Regal pulls Punk off the apron to the floor.  Mickie helps Punk beat the count back in the ring, but Regal blasts him with the knee kick for the win at 3:17.  I’m sure they’ll have a great match next week, as long as it’s not a stupid schmoz like the first two matches of this series were.

WrestleMania hype video, emphasizing WrestleMania II.

Tonight, JBL is going to give Shawn Michaels a Employee Performance Appraisal.

Ted Dibiase Jr. & Cody Rhodes vs. Cryme Tyme.  JTG starts with Dibiase and hits a neat facebuster, but Dibiase gets the advantage, then tags out to Rhodes.  JTG takes the heat, then makes the hot tag to Shad.  The ref DQ’s Dibiase and Rhodes at 2:45 for Rhodes being in the ring too long as the illegal man.  Dibiase and Rhodes beat down Shad after the match.

Chris Jericho/Mickey Rourke video package.  Jericho is going to speak in the ring, NEXT!

I went to make a sandwich, then Jericho ripped into Rourke.  Jericho says The Wrestler glorifies washed up has-beens, naming Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and Ric Flair.  He then focuses his words on Flair.  Jericho wants WWE to take away their status as Hall of Famers.  John Cena appears on the big screen.  Hey says Jericho blasts the legends for living in the past, but Jericho does the same thing.  Cena says he’ll shut Jericho up in their match tonight.

Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston are headed to the ring!

Last week: Kofi Kingston upset Kane to qualify for the Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out.

Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston vs. Kane & Mike Knox.  Kofi sends Kane out of the ring at the half minute mark, then we go to commercial.  Kane and Kofi are still going at it when we return.  Kofi tags Mysterio, who goes for the 619, but Kane bails, so Rey hits the Bombs Away off the ring apron.  Knox comes in and goes after Mysterio.  Kofi makes the blind tag.  They double team Knox a bit, then Kofi covers for a two count.  Knox nails Kofi with a big boot for a near fall.  The big guys take turns beating up Kofi.  Kofi tries to make the tag, but Kane gives Rey a big boot, knocking him off the apron.  Kofi gets beaten up some more.  Rey finally makes his way back the apron, but Kane prevents Kofi from tagging out.  Kofi finally manages to make the hot tag.  Mysterio comes in and hits the springboard leg drop on Kane, but Knox breaks the cover.  Kofi sends Knox out and dives onto him, but Knox turns it into a backbreaker.  Rey goes for the 619, but Rey prevents it.  Kane catches Rey coming off the ropes and hits a chokeslam for the victory at 11:41.  Shockingly good match.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon are walking backstage when Shane is jumped by Legacy.  They beat up some security guys too.  Orton teases giving Shane the punt of death, then goes to give it to Stephanie instead, but Shane scrambles up and takes the kick in the gut.  Road agents, including DEAN MALENKO! break it up.  Commercial.

Back from break, the replay the angle from before the break, then Cole and Lawler run down the No Way Out card so far: Orton vs. Shane in a No Holds Barred Match, WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match, and World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match.

WrestleMania hype video, emphasizing WrestleMania X.  Bret and Owen Hart had an awesome match, and there was the Shawn/Razor Ladder Match too.

JBL was watching.  He’s giving Shawn an employee performance review tonight.

Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez).  Beth hits a swank backdrop driver, then tries to make her submit with a backbreaker type hold.  Candice goes for a crucifix hold, then transitions into a sunset flip for a near fall.  Candice gets another near fall with a springboard kick.  Beth hits the Glam Slam for the win at 2:36.  Beth orders Rosa to ross Candice out of the ring after the match.

Ric Flair will be at Raw next Monday!

JBL comes out.  He’s going to evaluate his employee.  Michaels comes out.  JBL says Michaels has done a poor job.  Michaels says it’s not his fault.  JBL challenges Michaels to a match at No Way Out.  If Michaels wins, he gets the money JBL owes him.  If JBL wins, he owns Michaels for the rest of his life.  Michaels accepts, then JBL reminds him that he still works for him, so Michaels can’t touch him or the deal is off the table.  JBL verbally berates him and pokes him, which is extremely annoying.  He slaps him too.  Michaels looks near tears.  Cena vs. Jericho is next!

ECW tomorrow has Jack Swagger vs. Finlay.

Another replay of the Orton/McMahons angle.  I want Orton to punt Stephanie.

Stephanie McMahon has made a deal with Kane.  Kane is in the Elimination Chamber Match at No Way Out. In return, Kane got The Undertaker to face Randy Orton next week!

Non-Title: Chris Jericho vs. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena.  Cena jumps Jericho before the opening bell.  He’s intent on shutting up Jericho.  Cena kicks Jericho’s ass and hits a backdrop suplex.  Jericho manages to reverse an Irish whip, but then gets his ass kicked more.  Cena clotheslines Jericho out of the ring.  Cena chases him out, but ends up taking a bump into the announce table.  Commercial.  When we come back, Jericho has Cena in a rear chin lock.  Cena powers out and goes for the victory, but Jericho counters into a DDT.  Jericho hits his classic springboard dropkick.  Cena barely beats the count back in the ring.  Jericho beats on Cena some more, but Cena hits a belly-to-belly suplex.  Jericho hits a dropkick and gets a two count.  Cena makes a comeback and goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  They counter each other’s respective submission holds into inside cradles for near falls.  Jericho hits the Lionsault for a near fall.  Cena hits his spinning slam thing and the Five Knuckle Shuffle, then goes for the victory.  Lawler says it’s now called the Attitude Adjuster.  Whatever it’s called, he doesn’t get it.  Jericho goes for the Codebreaker but fails.  Schoolboy gets a two count for Jericho.  Jericho finally manages to lock in the Walls of Jericho.  Cena somehow rolls through it and locks in the STF for the victory at 12:31.  Good match.

Next week: Flair returns to Raw, plus Undertaker vs. Orton.  Cena celebrates his victory as the show goes off the air.

TNA iMPACT! 9/23/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2010 by Grappleholic

“Last week on iMPACT!…” video.  On Reaction, Eric Bischoff made the Bound For Glory title match a 3-way which pissed Dixie off.

“They say… Only The Strong Will Survive”

Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

Rob Terry comes out to wrestle Abyss.  Rob Van Dam is backstage being retrained by various people

Rob Terry vs. Abyss.  Abyss jumps Terry and kicks his ass.  Terry drops Abyss with a clothesline.  Abyss kicks Terry in the head.  Terry drops Abyss with his big spin kick.  Terry charges Abyss in the corner, but Abyss stops him with a boot, then lands a clothesline.  Abyss goes for a chokeslam, but Terry breaks out and hits a World’s Strongest Slam.  Terry hits a running powerslam for 2.  Terry goes for the Freak Buster, but Abyss rakes his eyes and hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Abyss hits a chokeslam for 2.  Fuck.  Abyss clotheslines Terry out of the ring.  Split screen time!  Jeff Hardy tries to calm RVD down backstage.  Abyss picks up a piece of the barricade and throws it at Terry for the DQ in 3:59.  This was awful.  Abyss hits him with the barricade again.  And again.  Rob Van Dam comes out through the crowd with a chair.  Gunner and Murphy get in his way.  Abyss picks up Janice.  D’Lo Brown, Pat Kenney, Al Snow, and more security geeks come out and force Abyss to the back.  RVD smacks Murphy or Gunner (whichever one is the short one) in the face with a chair and gets into the ring.  He has his arms and legs taped up and appears to be fine other than a slight limp.  He calls out Eric Bischoff.  Insta-commercials.

Rob Van Dam and Eric Bischoff are in the ring.  RVD bitches at him about stripping  him of the title.  Yeah, why the fuck DID you strip him of the title when he’s BACK BEFORE YOU’VE CROWNED A NEW CHAMPION?  He says he wants the first shot at whoever wins the title at Bound For Glory.  He tells Bischoff he’ll be cleared to wrestle on 10/10/10 and he wants Abyss at Bound For Glory.  Bischoff makes the match.

Live iMPACT! 2 weeks from tonight!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes out.  Bischoff is still in the ring.  He wants to know what the hell is going on.  In regards to what?  He babbles for a while about who he’s beaten lately.  He’s mad because he’s not in the title match at Bound For Glory.  It’s probably because he got pinned clean in the middle of the ring in the semifinal.  Bischoff wants to discuss it backstage, so the leave.

Lacey Von Erich comes into a room looking sad while Angelina Love and Velvet Sky talk.  Lacey is extremely pissed off at Madison Rayne and Tara.

During the break, Bischoff and Pope argued backstage.  Bischoff says Pope will be put into the title match if he beats Samoa Joe tonight.

Jeremy Buck (w/ Max Buck) vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Chris Sabin.  They lock up.  Sabin grabs a side headlock.  Sabin hits the ropes and Max trips him.  The referee sends Max to the back.  Sabin schoolboys Jeremy for 2.  Sabin hits a shoulder block for 2.  His shoulder is taped up after being injured last week.  Sabin cranks on Jeremy’s arm.  Jeremy attacks the shoulder, then hits a slingshot face buster for 2.  Jeremy applies a Dragon sleeper.  Jeremy hits a neckbreaker for 2.  They end up fighting on the apron and Jeremy hits Sabin with a neckbreaker on the apron for 2.  Jeremy applies a full nelson.  Jeremy lands an elbow smash and a head breaker (reverse jawbreaker).  Jeremy goes for a tornado DDT, but Sabin superkicks him, then gets a schoolboy for the pin in 3:42.  Fine little match.  Max immediately runs down and Generation Me beats down Sabin.  They hit him with another DDT OF MURDER, then steal his tag title belt.

Velvet & Lacey challenge Taylor Wilde & Hamada for the Knockouts Tag titles NEXT!

Pope interview from Reaction and Jeff Jarrett’s retort.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: Taylor Wilde & Hamada (c) vs. The Beautiful People of Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich.  Wilde does her best to wrestle with Lacey, who is absolutely incompetent in a wrestling ring.  She shockingly manages a couple of successful arm drags on Wilde and Hamada.  Velvet tags in and works Hamada’s arm.  Hamada nails her with a Yakuza kick.  Hamada slams Velvet and goes for a moonsault, but Velvet avoids it.  Wilde tags in and schoolgirls Velvet for 2, then inside cradles her for 2.  Velvet gets a backslide for 2, then some elbow drops.  Lacey tags back in.  Hamada tags back in.  Wilde and Hamada hit Lacey with a double suplex for 2.  Hamada nails Lacey with an enzuigiri.  Hamada hits a cool Fisherman Exploder for 2.  Wilde tagsin and works over Lacey some more.  Lacey hits Wilde with an awful looking Frankensteiner for 2.  Hamada comes in and saves for no reason.  Shit happens quickly as Velvet and Hamada are both sent out.  Madison Rayne comes in and nails Lacey with the motorcycle helmet.  Wilde hits Lacey with an enzuigir for the pin in 4:19.  The 2 competent wrestlers tried, but it wasn’t very good.  Angelina Love runs out to check glare angrily at the retreating Rayne while Velvet checks on Lacey.

EV2.0 arrives: Tommy Dreamer, Mick Foley, Stevie Richards, Rhino, Sabu, and Raven!

Up next, Pope vs. Joe!

Jesse Neal video package.

Dixie Carter has joined Tenay and Taz for commentary.  Ugh.  She announces a $100,000 Battle Royal for the live iMPACT! in 2 weeks.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe.  Joe jumps Pope and kicks his ass.  Pope fights back and hits a clothesline for 2.  Joe nails Pope with an elbow smash.  Joe rocks Pope with a back kick for 2.  Joe applies a rear chin lock.  Pope fights out, but gets dropped with a clothesline.  Joe applies a rear face lock.  Pope fights out and makes his comeback.  Pope lands a shoulder block for 2.  Taz calls it a flying forearm because he’s retarded.  Joe catches Pope with a powerslam for 2.  Pope hits a hangman’s neckbreaker and goes for the Elijah Express.  Jeff Jarrett comes out to distract Pope/cheer Joe on.  Joe fights back.  Kevin Nash and Sting come out and attack Jarrett.  Pope goes for a move, but Joe locks him in the Coquina Clutch.  The referee stops it and gives the match to Joe in 4:29.  Joe goes to help Jarrett, but gets his ass kicked by Nash.  Jarrett and Joe make a comeback on Sting and Nash.  I’m sick of the long brawls between these guys every week.  The fight continues.

Christy Hemme catches up with EV2.0.  Dreamer says it’s EV2.0 vs. Fortune in Lethal Lockdown at Bound For Glory.  Tonight it’s Sabu vs. AJ Styles with the winner getting the advantage at the PPV.

Ken Anderson is headed our way!

Ken Anderson comes to the ring and calls out Kurt Angle.  Angle comes out.  Anderson puts him over as being the best in the business, but says he’ll be the one winning the title at the PPV.  Angle replies at length.  I’m sure it was something to the effect of “No, I’ll win!”  They shake hands.  Anderson raises Angle’s hand “for the last time,” implying that Angle will lose and have to retire at the PPV.  Pointless segment.

Ric Flair gives Fortune a pep talk backstage, then he chugs a Smirnoff and dances.  Stupid, stupid.

Styles vs. Sabu in a Ladder Match is next.

House shows.

Shore is coming soon.  I’m scared.

Kevin Nash and Sting want information from The Pope.  Apparently Nash and Pope both got some information from Miss Tessmacher, so Pope is on their side now.  I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Fortune vs. EV2.0 video package.

Non-Title Ladder Match: Sabu vs. TNA World Television Champion AJ Styles (w/ Ric Flair & Matt Morgan).  The prize is a key on a paddle.  They fight.  Styles kicks the middle rope into Sabu’s balls, then pounds on him.  Sabu hits a headscissors.  Styles lands a chop.  Sabu lands a clothesline and goes outside to get a ladder.  Styles follows him out and beats him up.  Sabu manages to get the ladder in the ring, but Styles throws it back out.  Styles pulls Sabu’s head into the top rope.  Styles comes back with the ladder, but Sabu lands a baseball slide dropkick into the ladder.  Sabu throws a chair and the ladder into the ring.  Sabu sets up the ladder.  Styles knocks him down with a punch.  Sabu throws the ladder at Styles.  He tries to do it again, but Styles ducks and Sabu throws the ladder out of the ring.  Styles brings the ladder back, avoids Sabu’s baseball slide, and hits him with the ladder.  Mick Foley comes out.  Insta-commercials.  Sabu throws a chair at Styles, then knocks the ladder over.  Sabu uses the ladder as a springboard for the Whisper In The Wind.  Sabu uses the ladder as a springboard again to hit Styles with a cross body that sends them both out of the ring.  Flair goes after Sabu, but Foley stops him.  Morgan jumps Foley from behind.  Tommy Dreamer comes out, but is cut off by Kazarian.  Security breaks them up.  The rest of EV2.0 and Fortune come out and brawl.  Styles climbs the ladder.  Sabu knocks it over, then hits a crappy dive onto the security guards for no reason.  Sabu comes back in and climbs the ladder.  Robert Roode comes in and cuts him off.  Rhino Gores Roode.  James Storm superkicks Rhino.  Sabu nails Storm and sets up the ladder again.  Sabu and Styles climb the ladder.  Sabu rams Styles’ head into the ladder to send him down.  Storm comes back in and nails Sabu with a beer bottle, then helps Styles climb the ladder and get the key for the win (8:44 shown).  Boring ladder match.  Amazingly, the heels actually have the advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam chat backstage.  RVD leaves.  Abyss knocks over the camera man and makes sounds like he’s attacking Hardy.

Eric Bischoff talks.

Moments ago, Abyss made attacking Hardy noises.

Abyss carries an unconscious Jeff Hardy to the ring.  Abyss cuts a promo on RVD.  He says he’ll “finish the job” at Bound For Glory.  He calls out RVD because he wants to hit him with the nail board.  RVD comes out.  Abyss rips Hardy’s shirt off.  RVD throws a chair at Abyss’ head.  Abyss boots the chair into RVD’s face.  Abyss splashes RVD in the corner, then picks up the nail board.  The show ends.

Horrible show.  I hate this fucking company.

WWE Money In The Bank 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Money In The Bank open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  We’re LIVE from Kansas City, Missouri!  Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich are the Spanish announcers!  Tony Chimel and Justin Roberts are the ring announcers.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. The Big Show.  Everybody gangs up on Big Show and Kane.  Rhodes sets up a ladder and tries to climb while everyone is distracted.  Show and Kane kick his ass, then brawl with each other.  Show tries to climb the ladder and the first rung he steps on breaks, just like on Smackdown.  Everybody attacks Show, but he clears them out and throws the broken ladder out of the ring at Kane.  Show looks under the ring for his special ladder, but all the little guys attack him and send him into the steps, then brawl amongst themselves.  McIntyre catapults Christian into a ladder, then sets up the ladder and starts climbing.  Hardy hits him with another ladder.  Hardy climbs the ladder, but Christian comes in and pulls him down.  Christian puts the boots to Hardy and climbs the ladder himself.  Hardy pulls Christian off and pounds on him.  Hardy and Christian go out of the ring.  Rhodes climbs the ladder, but Kingston cuts him off and starts climbing.  Ziggler cuts Kingston off and reaches the briefcase, but Christian cuts him off.  They brawl on top of the ladder.  Christian hip tosses Ziggler off the ladder.  Hardy pushes the ladder over.  Hardy hits the Side Effect on Kofi and Christian hits the reverse DDT on Rhodes.  Kane goes for a double chokeslam, but Hardy and Christian hit him with a double DDT.  Hardy and Christian sandwich Kane between ladders, then hit each other.  Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Christian counters and flapjacks Hardy into a ladder.  Christian does his “stand on the guy on the bottom rope” bit with the ladder.  Christian climbs the ladder, but McIntyre pushes it over.  Christian falls out of the ring and takes out Big Show in the process.  Rhodes hits a kick on Kane.  Kofi hits Kane with the Trouble In Paradise, then Hardy drops Kane with the Twist of Fate.  Kofi climbs a ladder, but Rhodes hits him with a backdrop suplex.  Hardy and Rhodes brawl on top of the ladder.  McIntyre pushes the ladder over.  McIntyre throws Hardy into the post, then Rhodes.  McIntyre climbs a ladder, but Ziggler cuts him off.  McIntyre throws Ziggler into the post.  Kane pulls McIntyre out of the ring and stomps his head in.  Kane tears up the announcers’ tables and tries to chokeslam McIntyre.  Kane fights back, but gets dropped with a big boot.  Kofi baseball slide dropkicks a ladder into Kane’s face, then beats up McIntyre on the Spanish announce table.  Kofi lays out McIntyre with the Trouble In Paradise, then climbs a ringside ladder and hits the Boom Drop on McIntyre through the table.  Ziggler climbs a ladder in the ring.  Show comes in, knocks the ladder over, and chokeslams Ziggler.  Kane tries to chokeslam Show, but Show fights him off and rams a ladder into him, then butt butts the ladder in the corner.  Show throws Rhodes out of the ring.  Christian and Hardy hit Show with a ladder.  Show grabs the ladder and shoves it over both of them, then splashes the ladder with Christian and Hardy under it.  That couldn’t have been fun for anyone.  Show brings his special ladder in from under the ring.  He struggles with it because it is a very heavy ladder.  He finally gets the giant ladder set up.  Rhodes comes in and hits Show in his injured leg with a step ladder.  Rhodes climbs the big ladder.  Ziggler cuts him off and hits an electric chair drop.  Ziggler climbs the huge ladder.  Show gets up and kills him with a big chop.  Hardy attacks Show and gets a big headbutt for his trouble.  Kofi springboards to the ladder and climbs, but Show grabs him.  Kofi turns it into a DDT and starts climbing again.  Rhodes hits Kofi with a missile dropkick to the ladder.  Nice.  Rhodes hits Kofi with the Cross Rhodes on a ladder.  Rhodes climbs the huge ladder.  Ziggler cuts him off and sort of hits the Zig Zag into the huge ladder.  That’s a very sturdy ladder.  Show headbutts Rhodes and Ziggler and finally climbs the huge ladder.  Kane comes in and pushes the ladder over.  Big Show tumbles over the top rope to the floor.  The other guys stack ladders on top of Show.  Show is pretty much buried in ladders.  Everybody else tries to climb the huge ladder.  Kane chokeslams Christian, then Hardy, then rams Kofi’s head into the ladder and pulls Rhodes down and decks him.  Kane climbs.  Ziggler climbs over him and goes for the briefcase.  Ziggler locks Kane in the sleeper hold.  Kane rams Ziggler’s head into the ladder.  Ziggler crash to the mat, then Kane chokeslams him into the pile of ladders burying Show.  Rhodes and Kofi pull Kane out of the ring, then brawl with each other.  Kane kicks their asses and chokeslams Kofi onto Show’s ladder pyre.  Rhodes runs up the ramp to get away from Kane.  Kane catches him and throws him like a javelin into one of the armored trucks making up the PPV set.  Hardy climbs the ladder.  Kane pulls him down.  Christian tries to climb up with Kane, but gets knocked down.  Christian and Hardy slam Kane down off of the ladder.  Christian and Hardy climb the ladder and fight at the top, then both fall off.  McIntyre finally recovers from being dead and climbs the ladder.  Kane recovers and choke pushes McIntyre to the mat.  Kane takes down the briefcase to win it in 26:17.  Awesome match.  The Raw guys are going to have a hard time topping it.

Josh Matthews interviews the WWE Champion, Sheamus.  He says he finally realized he had to fight against The Nexus, but he still hates John Cena.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Alicia Fox (c) vs. Eve Torres.  They lock up.  Fox takes Eve down.  Eve gets up and takes Fox down.  They lock up again.  Eve grabs a side headlock, then hits a shoulder block for 1.  Eve gets a jackknife hold for 1.  Eve gets a sunset flip for 2.  Eve lands a dropkick and goes for a tornado DDT, but Fox pulls her down.  Eve goes outside.  Fox follows and his met with a forearm.  Fox slams Eve into the side of the ring.  Fox pulls Eve into the ring and covers for 2.  Fox applies a backbreaker hold.  Eve knees her way out and makes her comeback.  Fox hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.  Eve hits sort a reverse monkey flip.  Eve hits a cross body for 1.  Eve lands some more dropkicks and goes for a suplex, but her back gives it.  Eve lands a kick and hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Eve drops Fox with another kick and tries a flip from the middle rope, but Fox gets her knees up.  Fox hits the scissors kick for the pin in 5:53.  They tried.  It was still pretty bad, but at least it wasn’t too horribly long.

They show the retarded shit from Smackdown where Kane chokeslammed and Tombstoned Jack Swagger’s daddy.

Jack Swagger is on the phone with his mom.  He’s gone from loving his daddy to blaming him for trying to steal his spotlight.

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Hart Dynasty (c) (w/ Natalya) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso (w/ Tamina).  Smith and the Uso with short tights start.  I keep forgetting which is which.  Cole says it’s Jey, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.  Smith hits a powerslam for 2.  Kidd tags in.  Smith hip tosses him into a rana on Jey.  Smith comes back in and brawls with Jey some more.  Jey grounds and pounds him.  Jimmy tags in and beats up Smith.  Jey tags in and hits a butt butt to the corner for 2, as Kidd saves.  Smith hits a back body drop on Jey.  Jimmy tags in and cuts off Smith from making the tag.  Jimmy cranks on a rear chin lock.  Smith hits a belly to belly throw.  Jey and Kidd tag in.  Kidd runs wild.  Kidd gets a springboard reverse cradle, but Jimmy makes the blind tag.  Usos hit a double team Samoan drop on Kidd.  Jimmy covers for 2.  Jimmy slams Kidd and goes for the Superfly splash, but Kidd gets his knees up.  Smith gets the tag and nails Jimmy with a shoulder block.  Smith goes for the Sharpshooter.  Tamina gets on the apron.  Natalya pulls her down and slams her on the floor.  Smith catches Jimmy’s superkick and locks in the Sharpshooter.  Kidd takes out Jey with a dive.  Jimmy submits to Smith in 5:53.  Fine little match.  All of these guys are really good.

Criss Angel: Mindfreak commercial.  That’s the sponsor of the PPV.

“Money” is the crappy PPV theme song!

Rey Mysterio/Jack Swagger video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Jack Swagger.  Mysterio is limping to sell the ankle injury.  Swagger goes for takedowns and Mysterio tries to stay away from Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger pushes Mysterio into the corner and goes for the ankle.  Mysterio fights to keep him Swagger off of his ankle.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger moves.  Mysterio tries a quebrada, but Mysterio catches him, powerslams him into the corner, and ties him to the tree of woe.  Mysterio avoids a blow and hits a diving Bombs Away to the floor.  That was stupid.  Mysterio goes up top again and Swagger hits a belly to belly throw from the top.  Swagger, naturally, works the leg.  Mysterio bails.  Swagger follows and him into the announce table.  The Spanish announcers are gone now.  Hah!  They only had them out there to go old school and break their table.  Swagger keeps working the leg back in the ring.  Swagger hits a fucked up Samoan drop or a powerslam or something for 2.  Swagger throws Rey around some more and goes for the springboard Vader Bomb, but Mysterio avoids it and kicks Swagger in the head.  Mysterio hits the Bombs Away.  Swagger headbutts him in the middle.  Mysterio hits a headscissors that sends Swagger into the turnbuckle.  Mysterio hits a split legged moonsault for 2.  Swagger hits a wheelbarrow suplex for 2.  Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio gets his foot on the bottom rope.  Swagger goes for the ankle, but Mysterio kicks him away.  Mysterio ranas Swagger into the post.  Swaggergoes for a powerslam off the middle rope, but Mysterio turns it into a DDT!  Cover, but Swagger kicks out!  Mysterio hits the 619 and goes for the West Coast Pop, but Swagger catches him and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio gets the ropes.  Swagger breaks, but hits the springboard Vader Bomb x2.  Swagger attacks the ankle again.  Mysterio loosens his boot.  Swagger applies the ankle lock again, but the boot slips off!  The boot trick!  Awesome!  Mysterio hits a Frankensteiner for the pin in 10:45.  Good match.  Awesome nod to Eddie vs. Angle from WrestleMania XX with the boot trick!  I always loved that spot.  Mysterio celebrates with the belt, but Swagger jumps him after the match and puts him back in the ankle lock.  Kane runs out to make the save and kicks Swagger’s ass to the back.  Mysterio celebrates again.  But wait, Kane is coming back with the Money In The Bank briefcase!

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs. Kane.  Mysterio tries to get away from Kane.  Kane attacks the injured ankle.  Kane hits the chokeslam and the Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 53 seconds.  After 12 years, Kane is FINALLY World Champion again!  Good for him.  And it’s cool that they finally had someone cash in the Money In The Bank the night they won it.

Edge is backstage watching on a monitor.  Chris Jericho shows up.  They bicker and argue about which one of them is going to win the Raw Money In The Bank and cash it in tonight.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Layla (c) (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. Kelly Kelly (w/ Tiffany).  They show LayCool’s recent attack on Kelly.  They lock up.  Layla powers Kelly into the corner.  The (worst) ref (in WWE) forces the break.  Kelly tackles Layla and kicks her ass.  Layla avoids the handspring elbow to the corner.  Kelly gets a victory roll for 2.  Kelly kicks Layla out of the ring.  Layla uses Finlay’s ring apron trick to trap Kelly’s leg and kick the crap out of it.  Layla baseball slide dropkicks Kelly into McCool at ringside, then sides her into the barricade.  Tiffany argues with LayCool.  McCool takes a cheap shot at Kelly.  Kelly shoves McCool over the barricade, then kicks Layla’s ass and throws her back into the ring.  Kelly is FIRED UP!  She gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Kelly hits the Fameasser, but Layla gets her foot on the bottom rope.  Tiffany and Kelly deck McCool.  Kelly goes back in and goes for a diving sunset flip, but Layla hooks her legs and gets the pin in 3:58.  This sucked.  Did you expect anything else?  Striker’s cooing over Layla is fucking obnoxious.

Please, Don’t Try This At Home!

Some National Guard folks are in the house!

The announcers plug SummerSlam slurpee cups.

Earlier tonight, the Smackdown Money In The Bank Ladder Match happened!

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Randy Orton vs. WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse) vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne vs. Edge.  Edge brings in a ladder before the match starts, then bails as soon as the bell rings.  Everybody else goes for the ladder and starts brawling.  Everybody else goes outside and Edge sneaks in to climb the ladder.  Orton cuts him off and takes him outside to kick his ass.  Dibiase picks up a ladder, but gets kicked by Morrison.  Dibiase clotheslines Morrison onto the ladder.  Dibiase knocks Morrison off the apron with the ladder.  Bourne dropkicks the ladder into Dibiase.  Miz nails Bourne and throws him out of the ring.  Miz tries to set up the ladder, but Jericho comes in and brawls with him.  Henry throws a ladder at them.  Henry squashes Miz against the middle rope.  Jericho nails Henry with a ladder, then throws it on him.  Bourne sets up a ladder.  Jericho comes at him with another ladder, but Bourne drops him.  Bourne sets up a ladder properly and climbs for the prize.  Edge cuts him off, but Bourne hits a rana to send Edge out of the ring.  Orton comes in and beats up Bourne.  Orton uses the ladder to hit the DDT OF MURDER!  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on Orton.  Morrison stumbles and knocks over the ladder.  Dibiase comes in.  Morrison tries to suplex him, but Miz saves.  Miz and Dibiase stomp Morrison.  Morrison flapjacks Miz into a ladder, then drop toe holds Dibiase onto it.  Morrison climbs the ladder.  Edge climbs the other side.  Jericho sets up another ladder next them and climbs.  Orton climbs the opposite side of Jericho’s ladder.  Henry comes in and pushes both ladders over!  Bourne hits a springboard knee on Henry, then falls out of the ring.  Maryse checks on Dibiase, then decides to climb the ladder herself.  Morrison comes in and pulls her down, then orders her to the back.  Dibiase sneaks in and climbs the ladder, but Morrison cuts him off.  Awesome attempt at trickery there.  Dibiase charges Morrison in the corner with the ladder, but Morrison moves.  Outside, Miz nails Morrison with a ladder.  Edge climbs a ladder in the ring.  Morrison does a crazy bit falling on one ladder to the ladder Edge is on.  Edge traps Morrison in the ladder.  Edge and Miz ram another ladder into Morrison, then Edge nails Miz with it.  Edge pushes the ladder over with Morrison inside it.  Dibiase comes in and hits Edge with another ladder.  Dibiase sets a ladder up upside down for some reason.  Jericho tries to bring in another ladder, but Dibiase takes it from him and nails him and Orton with it.  Dibiase rams Edge into his weird ladder structure and climbs up the normal ladder.  Henry cuts him off.  Dibiase dives at Henry, but Henry catches him and hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Henry knocks a ladder into Jericho, then press slams Miz onto the ladder and Jericho.  Henry climbs the ladder.  Bourne jumps on his back, but Henry keeps climbing.  So Big Show can’t climb the ladder, but Henry can climb it with Bourne on his back?  Does show way 700 lbs or something?  Edge and Orton cut Henry off, but Bourne almost reaches the briefcase.  Edge and Orton launch him outside at Henry, who hits the World’s Strongest Slam.  Morrison lands a kick on Henry.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker.  Edge hits the spear.  Orton, Morrison, Edge, Jericho, and Miz all climb.  Dibiase tries to cut them off, but gets kicked out of the ring.  Dibiase adds another ladder to make a bridge.  Miz takes a bump into it.  Dibiase stands on the bridge.  Edge and Orton bring him down onto the ladder and throw him out of the ring.  Orton hits the RKO on Edge.  Jericho kicks Orton to send him outside.  Jericho and Morrison fight on top of the ladder.  Jericho gets his leg stuck in the ladder.  Orton hits the RKO on Morrison.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press on Orton.  Bourne climbs the ladder while Jericho dangles from it.  Bourne almost gets the briefcase, but Jericho cuts him off and swings the briefcase into his face.  Edge climbs up to fight Jericho.  Orton hits Jericho with an RKO off the ladder!  Orton knocks Edge off into Dibiase’s wacky ladder set up deal, then climbs the ladder.  Miz comes in and pushes the ladder over.  Miz climbs the ladder and takes down the briefcase to win it in 20:27.  Another wild match, but not as good as the Smackdown one.  Miz is emotional over the win.  He cuts a promo about this being his moment and him being awesome.

The Criss Angel: Mindfreak commercial airs again.

SummerSlam hype video.

John Cena/Sheamus video package.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. John Cena.  They lock up.  Sheamus tries to ram Cena’s head into the cage, but fails.  Sheamus pounds on Cena and finally succeeds in ramming his head into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Cena tackles Sheamus and pounds on him.  Sheamus catches Cena with an elbow smash.  Sheamus beats up Cena some more and grinds his face into the cage.  Cena hits his whack Fisherman buster.  They trade punches.  Cena hits a shoulder block.  Sheamus ducks him and sends him into the cage.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus hits the reverse DDT backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus tries to climb out of the cage, but Sheamus cuts him off.  They fight on the top rope.  Cena hits a superplex for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus counters into a DDT for 2.  Sheamus hits the Polish hammer for 2.  Repeat.  Cena ducks a third attempt and fights back, but Sheamus locks in a sleeper hold.  Cena suffers for a bit, then stands  up and starts climbing the cage with Sheamus on his back.  Sheamus lets go and pulls Cena down.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus knees Cena in the face, then chokes him with his boot.  Sheamus climbs the cage.  Cena pulls him down.  Cena makes his standard comeback.  He goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus grabs the cage and starts climbing.  Cena rams Sheamus’ head into the cage to send him crashing to the mat.  Cena is cut, but it’s not bleeding.  It must be an old cut.  He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle off of the top, but Sheamus moves to avoid it.  Sheamus ties up Cena in the ropes and pounds on him.  Sheamus climbs over Cena.  Cena breaks free and stops Sheamus from escaping.  Cena hits a bulldog off the top rope for 2.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker, then nails Sheamus with the pump kick for 2.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment out of nowhere for 2.  The Nexus come out.  Michael Tarver has bolt cutters.  A referee takes them and runs away.  The Nexus demand the key to the door, but Jack Doan throws it into the crowd.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again, but Sheamus counters and sends Cena into the ref.  The ref is dead from a shot that wouldn’t put down a grandmother for more than a few seconds.  Cena locks in the STF.  Sheamus taps, but the ref is dead.  Cena tries to escape, but members of the Nexus climb up to meet him.  Cena sends Justin Gabriel to the mat.  The Nexus members stop Cena from escaping.  Sheamus climbs up the other side, nails Heath Slater, and drops the floor to win it in 23:01.  The match was fine, but not especially exciting.  Sheamus runs out through the crowd.  Cena is pissed.  He throws Darren Young into the cage, then nails Tarver with a three point clothesline.  I guess the rest of the Nexus ran after Sheamus.  Cena nails Tarver with the ring steps.  He yells “I told you I’d take every one of you out!”  Cena takes Tarver’s armband and leaves.

Pretty good show altogether.  The ladder matches were great, and aside from the shitty women’s matches, nothing on the show was bad.