Archive for Kazuchika Okada

TNA iMPACT! 2/3/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

Recap of recent goings on and clips from the European tour.

“Expect The Unexpected”

Immortal are in the ring: Eric Bischoff, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money, TNA X Division Champion Kazarian, AJ Styles, Gunner, and Murphy.  Bischoff calls out Scott Steiner, who comes out to the ring.  Bischoff blathers for a while.  He says there is no “they” because Nash, Sting, and Booker aren’t coming back.  He invites Steiner to join Immortal.  Steiner offers to stick his foot up Bischoff’s ass and calls him a piece of shit.  Another epic Scott Steiner promo.  He says he’ll break Bischoff’s neck if Bischoff doesn’t call him “sir.”  Kurt Angle and Crimson come out.  Angle agrees that Bischoff is a piece of shit, then says that “they” are indeed here.

Immortal bicker backstage.  Bischoff wonders where Flair is.  Angle, Steiner, and Crimson walk in.  Everybody argues.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Ink Inc. vs. Gunner & Murphy.  Gunner and Murphy kick tattooed ass.  Taz: “Hes like 6’6″!  He’s even taller than me!”  Gunner and Murphy work over Neal.  Moore tags in and runs wild on the big dude.  I think it’s Murphy.  Moore hits the Halo.  Gunner saves.  Murphy accidentally boots Gunner.  Ink Inc. hit their finish on Murphy and Moore gets the pin in 3:28.  There ya go.

Kurt Angle gives Scott Steiner and Crimson a pep talk backstage.  Angle’s phone rings.  The plan is a go, apparently.

Tonight, Ken Anderson defends the TNA World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy!  Up next, TNA Cribs with Jeff & Karen Jarrett!

Chrisy Hemme is in front a court house.  This stupid legal thing got a continuance until March 3.

Eric Young shows up at the announce table and spazzes out.  He says he knows who “they” are, but won’t tell who.  He thinks he’s off air.  But he’s functionally retarded.

TNA Cribs with Jeff and Karen Jarrett.  Jeff gets mad at the kids for saying Dixie Carter’s name.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson talks backstage.  He wants to waste TV time in the ring talking to Jeff Hardy later.

Bully Ray and “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero are in the ring.  Apparently they’re partners now.  Ray cuts a promo about Devon.  Pope cuts a promo about Samoa Joe.  Joe and Devon hit the ring for a brawl.  Pope runs away from Joe.  Kazuchika Okada appears in the entryway to block his exit.  Pope takes another way out.  Joe gives chase.  Ray tries to punch Devon with the chain, but Devon kicks his ass.  They brawl at ringside.  Geeks come out to break them up.  Ray spits on some fans, who are apparently Devon’s sons, then runs away.

Tonight, Sarita vs. Mickie James in a Taped Fist Match!  Anderson vs. Hardy for the World Championship!

Eliminate The Hate!

Max Buck has joined Tenay and Taz at the table.

X Division #1 Contender Qualifying Three-Way Match: Jay Lethal vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Douglas Williams.  They do some shit.  Williams fails a Chaos Theory on Buck, but hits a snap suplex for 2, as Lethal saves.  Jeremy hits Williams with an Asai moonsault.  Lethal hits Jeremy with a tope suicida.  Back inside, Lethal hits Jeremy with a springboard kick.  Jeremy gets a rope break at 2.  Williams comes back and gives Jeremy a side Russian leg sweep as Jeremy DDTs Lethal.  Covers get 2.  Williams tries to set up a backdrop suplex off the top on Jeremy.  Lethal turns it into a tower of doom spot.  Max comes down to do something about Jeremy’s shoe being untied.  Lethal covers Williams for 2.  Williams gets an inside cradle for 2.  Lethal and Williams trade blows.  Max distracts the referee.  Williams hits the Chaos Theory on Lethal.  Jeremy kicks Williams in the balls and covers Lethal for the pin in 4:29.  Good little match.

Bischoff is on the phone trying to find Flair.  Nobody knows where he is.  Bischoff tells Styles to make sure they get the World title back tonight.  Styles assures him that he has things under control.

Sarita talks backstage.  She says her cousin Rosita will be there next week.

Anderson/Hardy hype video.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson comes out and calls of Jeff Hardy.  Hardy comes out and his awful song rapes my eardrums and gives me a headache.  They talk for a while.  I think Hardy agrees to not cheat tonight.

Mickie James talks backstage.

Tonight, Anderson vs. Hardy!  Next, Mickie vs. Sarita in a Taped Fist Match!

House shows!

More of Jeff & Karen at home.

Taped Fist Match: Sarita vs. Mickie James.  Mickie hits a snapmare and whiffs a basement dropkick.  Mickie hits a monkey flip and a dropkick, then punches Sarita.  Sarita hides behind the referee, then tries to get a cheap shot.  Mickie hits some arm drags and a neckbreaker.  Mickie goes up top.  Sarita ducks the dive.  Micke tries to pull Sarita out of the ring, but gets kicked in the head.  Mickie pulls Sarita off the apron, causing a face plant.  Sarita rams Mickie’s hand into the post, then cranks on it, then rams it into the steps.  Back inside, Sarita keeps working on the hand.  Sarita hits a hammerlock slam.  I always pop for that move a little bit.  Sarita cranks on an arm lock.  Mickie fights free.  Sarita hits a swank backdrop suplex.  Mickie rallies and lands a knockout left hand for the KO victory in 6:03.  This was okayish.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne appears in the crowd and cold cocks Mickie with the loaded glove.

Eric Bischoff and Jeff Hardy bicker backstage.  Hardy tells him to make sure there’s no interference tonight.

Jeff Jarrett has a surprise for Karen.

Clips from the European tour.

Back at La Casa de Jarrett.  It’s very stupid.  They’re going to renew their wedding vows on Impact.  Ugh.

Ken Anderson comes out for the main event.  Jeff Hardy jumps him in the aisle during his microphone gimmick.  Hardy beats up Anderson at ringside.  Al Snow, Pat Kenney, and geeks break them up.  Insta-commercials.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Ken Anderson (c) vs. Jeff Hardy.  They lock up and tear into each other.  Anderson hits a cross body for 2.  Hardy bails.  Anderson chases.  Hardy slips back in and gets the jump on Anderson.  Hardy beats up Anderson.  Hardy hits a clothesline for 2.  Hardy hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson rallies and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Hardy drops him with a clothesline and goes back on the offensive.  Hardy goes to work on Anderson’s leg, then on Anderson’s previously concussed head.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind.  They trade punches.  Anderson makes his comeback.  Anderson hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2.  Hardy counters the Mic Check.  Anderson lands an enzuigiri for 2.  Hardy hits a front suplex for 2.  Anderson goes for the Lambeau Leap.  Hardy counters and goes for the Twist of Hate.  Anderson counters.  Hardy bumps the ref.  Hardy hits the Twist of Hate.  Matt Hardy, Rob Terry, Gunner, and Murphy come out and beat up Anderson.  Styles, Beer Money, and Kazarian come out to join.  Matt hits the Side Effect on Anderson.  Styles, Beer Money, and Kazarian throw up the Fortune sign and attack Immortal!  Roode clotheslines Jeff.  Styles gives Jeff the Styles Clash!  Anderson covers Hardy for the pin in 12:12.  Good match, even with the fuck finish.  Styles hands the fugly belt to Anderson.  Insta-commercials.

Fortune and TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson are in the ring.  Styles cuts a promo on Bischoff.  He explains that “them” is “us.”  Bischoff comes out and swears at Styles a bunch.  They yell at each other.  Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, and Crimson appear in the ring with Fortune.  The shit talking continues.  Bischoff says on March 3, some shit’s gonna go down.  Styles says he’ll stick his foot so far down Bischoff’s throat, he’ll be pissing shoelaces.  Awesome.

Not too bad of a show, actually.

TNA iMPACT! 1/20/11

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011 by Grappleholic

Kurt Angle/Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett video package.

“Dirty Laundry”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Kurt Angle arrives, walks into the building, and orders a production guy to play his music.  Angle walks out to the ring and cuts a promo.  He wants to bury the hatchet with Karen for the sake of his kids.  Jeff Jarrett’s music plays and his geeks come out.  Angle kicks their asses before they can get into the ring and screams for Jarrett to come out.  Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair come out instead.  They send out some rent-a-cops, who escort Angle out of the building.  Okay then…  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett arrive and feign disappointment that Angle has been kicked out.

Non-Title Four-Way Match: Sarita vs. Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne.  Mickie and Velvet argue over who is going to start, because this is TNA so the four-way has stupid tag rules.  They say “fuck it” and attack their respective enemies on the outside.  Mickie beats up Madison in the ring.  Sarita tags in and gets flapjacked by Mickie.  Velvet tags herself in and attacks Sarita bitch-style.  Rayne cheap shots Sky from the apron.  Sky decks her.  Sarita throws Velvet around.  Velvet hits a flying head scissors on Sarita.  Madison knocks Mickie off the apron.  Madison and Sarita try to double team Velvet, but Mickie saves.  Clusterfuck.  Velvet takes out Sarita.  Mickie gives Madison a neckbreaker and goes up top.  The referee it outside with Velvet and Sarita.  Tara appears and clocks Mickie with the elbow brace.  Sarita and Velvet come back in and conk heads.  Madison clocks Velvet with the loaded glove.  Mickie gets Madison with a reverse cradle for the pin in 4:28.  This wasn’t any good.  Madison throws a fit.

Beer Money chat backstage.  Storm does curls with beer bottles.

Tonight, Beer Money vs. Anderson & RVD!

Kurt Angle is walking around backstage.  I thought the rent-a-cops escorted him out?  Commercials.

Samoa Joe talks to Kazuchika Okada, who’s been video taping Pope for him.  Poor Okada…

Ric Flair and Rob Terry come out.  Flair cuts a promo about Terry’s sexual prowess, then calls out Matt Morgan.

“The Freak” Rob Terry (w/ Ric Flair) vs. “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan.  They show Morgan beating Abyss last week, then being jumped by Flair and Terry.  Terry gets instructions from Flair.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint for the pin in 11 seconds.  Morgan goes after Flair.  Flair throws ineffective punches and chops, then begs off.  Abyss runs in and jumps Morgan.  Morgan rallies and drops him with the discus lariat.  Terry wakes up and immediately gets side slammed.  Morgan goes for Flair, but Abyss jumps him again.  Morgan rallies and takes out Abyss and Terry again.  Terry takes out Morgan’s knee.  The heels finally get the better of Morgan and beat him down.  Abyss and Terry hit a double chokeslam.

Video package of TNA stars at New Japan “Wrestle Kingdom V In Tokyo Dome.”

Tonight, Jeff Hardy vs. Tommy Dreamer!  Beer Money vs. Anderson & RVD!

AJ Styles gives TNA X Division Champion Kazarian a pep talk backstage.  Kazarian leaves.  Crimson appears and chokes AJ with a wire, then tells him “they’re coming” in 2 weeks.  Commercials.

Kurt Angle is still stalking around backstage.

TNA X Division Championship Match: Kazarian (c) vs. Jay Lethal.  Lethal slingshots Kazarian into the ring and runs wild on him.  Kazarian bails.  Lethal follows and beats him up at ringside.  Back inside, Lethal hits a springboard missile dropkick for 2.  Lethal goes for the Lethal Injection, but Kazarian counters and finally mounts some offense.  Lethal hits the handspring elbow smash for 2.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination, then goes up top and hits the diving elbow drop for 2.  Kazarian rolls to the floor.  Lethal throws Kazarian back into the ring.  Kazarian gouges his eyes.  Lethal goes for a sunset flip.  Kazarian squashes it, grabs the ropes, and gets the pin in 4:33.  Not much of a match, which is sad when you consider how good their PPV match was.

Ken Anderson, Rob Van Dam, and Tommy Dreamer chat backstage.

The Jarretts are headed our way.

Kurt Angle finds a door into the arena.  Commercials.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett come to the ring.  Jeff puts over his wife.  Karen bashes Kurt Angle.  Angle sneaks into the ring and gives Jarrett a German suplex.  Kurt and Karen stare at each other.  Karen slaps him.  Jarrett hits Angle in the balls, then beats him up and leaves him laying.  Commercials.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

Kurt Angle beats up trash cans backstage.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jeff Hardy.  Hardy beats up Dreamer.  Dreamer avoids a drop kick and leg drops Hardy’s balls.  Dreamer clotheslines Hardy out of the ring, then hits a clothesline off the apron.  Dreamer beats up Hardy on the outside until Hardy gives him a sort of arm drag off the apron.  Hardy beats up Dreamer back inside.  Hardy hits an innovated dropkick to the balls, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Dreamer makes his comeback.  Hardy tries to rally, but Dreamer avoids the Whisper In The Wind.  Dreamer goes for a dive, but Hardy catches him with a kick.  Dreamer counters the Twist of Hate and hits the Spiccoli Driver.  Hardy gets a foot on the rope.  Hardy gets another low blow and hits the Twist of Hate for the pin in 4:21.  This wasn’t very good either.

Kurt Angle is stalking around backstage with a baseball bat.

Beer Money vs. Anderson & RVD is NEXT!  Commercials.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero talks on the phone backstage.  He wants to use some guy’s computer for his illicit business dealings.  He uses his phone to call the guy, then steals his laptop when the guy walks outside to get service.

AJ Styles tries to tell Ric Flair what happened to him earlier.  Flair “ices” Styles.  Kurt Angle appears and hits Style with his bat.  Flair begs off.  Angle chokes him and tells him to make sure Jarrett comes to the ring to fight him.

Non-Title: TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ken Anderson & Rob Van Dam.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  Roode and RVD brawl.  RVD does his weird leg cradle for 2.  RVD hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Roode counters a monkey flip and sets RVD on the top turnbuckle.  They horrible botch a diving schoolboy.  Anderson tags in and hits a lariat for 2.  Storm tags in and gets schooled by Anderson.  Anderson hits a spinning neckbreaker for 2.  Anderson runs into the turnbuckles, then gets clotheslined by Roode in the apron.  Roode tags in and works over Anderson.  Roode hits a knee drop for 2.  Beer Money get the heat on Anderson and work over his previously concussed head.  Anderson rallies and spikes Roode with a DDT.  Storm and RVD tag in.  RVD runs wild, back body drops an interfering Roode, and hits Storm with the flying kick.  RVD goes for Rolling Thunder, but Roode trips him.  Storm hits a Lung Blower for 2.  Beer Money go for the double suplex, but Anderson intervenes and takes Roode to the floor.  Roode sends Anderson into the steps.  RVD drops Storm with a kick and goes up top.  Roode tries to intervene, but fails.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Storm.  Jeff Hardy comes out to distract the referee.  Matt Hardy sneaks in and hits RVD the Twist of Hate.  Storm pins RVD in 8:08.  Okayish match, but still not that good.

Brian Kendrick tries to help Bully Ray with his anger management.  Ray shoves him into some lockers instead.  That dick.  Commercials.

Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett yell at each other in the office.  Eric Bischoff tells Jarrett to “trust him” and go to the ring.

Brother Devon comes out and calls out Bully Ray.  Ray comes out and challenges Devon to fight him at ringside.  Brian Kendrick comes out and throws Ray in the ring.  Devon beats up Ray.  Ray tries to use a chain, but Devon kicks his ass and takes it.  Security comes out to break it up, so of course Bubba jumps him from behind.  Bubba beats up security, scares So Cal Val, and brings in a chair.  Where the hell did Kendrick go?  Bubba sandwiches Devon’s head in the chair and whips it with his chain.  That dick!

Kurt Angle is headed our way!  Commercials!

Kurt Angle is in the ring.  Jeff Jarrett, Gunner, and Murphy come out.  Jarrett is in his ring gear for some reason, but is reluctant to fight.  He sends Gunner and Murphy instead.  Angle kicks their asses.  They finally get the advantage, so Jarrett joins in on the beatdown.  Angle rallies, throws out Gunner and Murphy, and puts Jarrett in a rear naked choke.  Karen Jarrett comes out to scream at Angle.  Immortal come out and beat down Angle.  Abyss comes out to the stage and falls down.  He has the nail board stuck in his back.  WTF?  Crimson appears and yells that “THEY’RE COMING” on February 3.  Angle takes advantage of the distraction to start kicking ass.  Angle gets Flair in the ankle lock until Immortal pull him to safety.

This show wasn’t good, but I’ve seen far worse.

TNA iMPACT! 7/15/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Victory Road highlight video.

“They’re Here?”

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  They announce some matches way too fast to process.  I assume Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Updated top 10 Contenders: #10 TNA Global Champion Rob Terry, #9 The Pope, #8 Kurt Angle, #7 Hernandez, #6 AJ Styles, #5 Jay Lethal, #4 Samoa Joe, #3 Mr. Anderson, #2 Jeff Hardy, #1 Abyss.  They went through that so fast I had to rewind it once.

Abyss comes out carrying some raw meat and his nail board.  He talks about RVD and “they.”  He says later tonight he’ll tell RVD about the plan when gets the final details from “them.”  He talks about his girlfriend Janice… the nail board.  He hits the meat with the nail board, then bites it.  Gross.  And probably dangerous.  Retarded segment.

Sarita and Taylor Wilde are brawling backstage.  They keep brawling for a long time.  They’re having a street fight tonight.  Commercials.

Street Fight: Sarita vs. Taylor Wilde.  Wilde and Sarita brawl into the arena.  Wilde nails Sarita with a chair.  Sarita throws water on Wilde.  Sarita hides under the ring and jumps Wilde from behind.  Sarita tears up the floor mats, which for some reason have flames on the under side.  Sarita tries to slam Wilde onto the floor, but Wilde hits a facebuster on the padded section of the floor.  Wilde throws some kicks.  Sarita tries to get into the ring, but Wilde won’t let her.  Sarita finally manages to get the apron and tries to dive off, but Wilde throws a chair at her.  Wilde throws Sarita into the post and the barricade, then dropkicks her over the barricade.  Sarita chokes Wilde with somebody’s purse strap.  The referee stops a match that never technically started and gives Sarita the win.  Stupid crap.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam walks backstage and talks about Abyss.  Commercials.

Miss Tessmacher is in the office talking on the phone.  Kevin Nash walks in looking for Bischoff and Hogan, but they’re not there.  He asks to meet here later tonight, or something.

Non-Title “I Quit” Match: Brian Kendrick vs. TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams.  Kendrick goes on the attack.  Williams fights back.  Kendrick goes for his Cobra Clutch, but fails.  Williams kicks Kendrick in the thigh and tries to make him quit.  Repeat with a clothesline and a punch.  Williams applies a camel clutch.  The ref sticks the mic in Kendrick’s face every time he takes a bump.  Kendrick fights back.  Williams nails him with elbows.  Kendrick goes for a sleeper hold, but fails.  Kendrick chokes Williams with a boot in the corner.  Williams catapults Kendrick and applies a half crab hold.  Kendrick refuses to quit.  The referee makes Williams breaks the hold because Kendrick is in the ropes.  What’s he gonna do, DQ him?  I better not give Russo any ideas.  Williams hits suplexes.  Williams slaps Kendrick with his climbing gloves from Victory Road, then puts the glove on and hits a European uppercut, which has nothing to do with the hand.  Kendrick fights back and nails a flying knee.  Kendrick lands some dropkicks, then goes for the Cobra Clutch again.  Williams counters and goes for the Chaos Theory.  Kendrick counters and locks in the Cobra Clutch.  Williams quits in 4:55.  Another pretty stupid match.  A fucking non-title I Quit Match on free TV?  Are the building to a non-gimmick match at the next PPV?

Kevin Nash comes out and chokeslams Kendrick, just to remind us that TNA is the spiritual successor to WCW.  Nash babbles about what the fuck ever, then sets up Kendrick for the powerbomb.  Jeff Jarrett comes out and tells Nash to chill the fuck out.  They talk back and forth.  Nash says “There’s a lot of people that say I’m the best worker in this business.”  A lot of people = Nash, his mom, and his wife.  Nash says he and Jarrett have problems now.  I have no desire to find out where this is going.  Commercials.

ShopTNA.com!

Kevin Nash talks to the camera about Jeff Jarrett.

Non-Title Three-Way Match: Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. TNA Global Champion Rob Terry vs. Samoa Joe.  They show Desmond interfering in Joe & Terry’s match vs. Stylezarian at Victory Road.  Joe and Terry are both pissed off.  Brutus Magnus (WTF is he doing here?) joins Taz and Tenay on commentary.  Terry and Joe take out Wolfe, then brawl with each other.  Joe locks Terry in an ankle hold.  Wolfe breaks it.  Wolfe does his awesome arm takedown on Joe and sends him outside.  Wolfe beats up Terry, then takes his eye off the fucking ball again to bitch at Chelsea.  Joe comes back in and Wolfe sends him out again.  Wolfe works Terry’s leg.  Joe makes it to the apron and Terry kicks Wolfe into him to knock him off again.  Terry makes his comeback on Desmond.  Terry hits his big kick.  Joe comes back in and hits a diving knee strike to drop Terry.  Joe locks Wolfe in the Coquina Clutch for the submission win in 4:17.  This was lame, which is disappointing.  Joe and Terry face off, then show respect.  Joe leaves.

Up next, The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money in a Ladder Match, the first match of a Best of Five Series for the TNA World Tag Team Championship!  Commercials.

Ric Flair announces to the camera guy that he’s going to make an announcement tonight.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Best of 5 Series 1st – Ladder Match: Beer Money vs. The Motor City Machine Guns (c).  The prize is an open contract for a match stipulation.  Beer Money jump the guns from behind.  Storm throws Sabin out of the ring, then they double team Shelley.  They go for the double suplex, but Sabin saves Shelley.  Guns hit double dropkicks to send Beer Money outside, then hit double tope suicidas to the floor.  Guns bring in a ladder.  Sabin climbs for the prize, but gets cut off.  Guns whip Roode into the ladder, then splash against him a bunch.  Sabin accidentally elbows the ladder.  Beer Money beat up Shelley, then hip toss Sabin balls-first into the ladder.  Storm climbs the ladder, but Shelley cuts him off.  Roode climbs, but Shelley cuts him off too.  Storm hits Shelley with the ladder and brings in another ladder.  Sabin dropkicks a ladder into Beer Money and Shelley stomps it into them.  Sabin tries to run up a ladder at Storm, stumbles, then knees the fuck out of Storm’s face.  Roode turns Sabin inside out with a lariat.  Roode climbs the ladder, but Shelley hits him with another ladder.  Shelley sets up a ladder bridge between the other ladder and the bottom rope.  Guns hit a double team Complete Shot/bulldog on Roode into the ladder.  Storm pulls Sabin out of the ring and cuts on Shelley on the ladder, then hits a Lung Blower.  Storm sets up Sabin for a superplex onto a ladder, but ends up tied to the tree of woe.  Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick, kicking the ladder into Storm’s face.  Storm hits a backbreaker on Sabin.  Shelley has bridged a ladder between the apron and the barricade.  Roode gets dropkicked onto it.  Shelley springboards on Roode into Storm, then Sabin squashes Roode on the ladder again.  Storm and Sabin fight on the ladder.  It gets knocked over, but Shelley sets it back up with Sabin still on it.  Ref bump.  Roode and Sabin fight on the ladder.  Roode takes a bump to the stage.  Sabin grabs the contract.  Storm hits Sabin in the back of the head with a beer bottle and takes the contract.  Earl Hebner sees Storm with the contract and gives it to Beer Money in 9:25.  Pretty good ladder match.

Abyss hits a watermelon with his nail board.  Commercials.

Matt Morgan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  Taz has taken to saying “Well, here comes the Pope!” when Pope’s music hits.  Pope goes for a Codebreaker early, but fails.  Pope ducks Morgan and hits him with a flurry of strikes.  Morgan chokeslams Pope into the corner and hits the revolving elbows.  Dinoer dropkicks Morgan into 619 position and goes for that move he does there, but Morgan moves.  Pope hits a Codebreaker for the pin in 1:37.  Lame.  Morgan jumps Pope from behind and hits a fall away slam and the Carbon Footprint.  He sets up Pope for the Carbon Footprint into the post that took out Hernandez, but Ken Anderson comes out with a steel chair to make the save.  Anderson throws Pope into the ring, teasing that he wants to help Morgan beat down Pope.  Anderson kicks Morgan’s ass instead.  Anderson offers a handshake, but Pope is understandably still pissed off about Anderson putting him on the shelf for months.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich argue about Madison Rayne.  Velvet is pissed.  Lacey advocates listening to Rayne’s side of the story.

Tonight, Lethal vs. Hardy!

Madison Rayne is in the ring bitching about losing the title at Victory Road because biker chick wasn’t one of the Beautiful People.  She threatens to sue TNA if the title isn’t returned to her within 7 days.  How much could TNA be worth anyway?  A couple hundred bucks?  Velvet and Lacey come out.  Velvet bitches her out.  Madison calls Velvet a dumb blond and says that she’s a genius.  Yeah…  Madison says she doesn’t need them anymore.  Velvet threatens to kick her ass.  TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love comes out and says it’s all an act.  She says Velvet was the biker chick.  She comments on Velvet’s fake boobs.  There’s something to be said here about the pot and the kettle.  Velvet says she’s insulted.  She says she’s done and Madison is all Angelina’s.  Velvet leaves while Lacey looks on from the ramp.  Madison calls for Angelina to give her the belt back.  Angelina gets in the ring and tells her to take it.  Rayne hits her with an elbow.  Love tackles Rayne and kicks her ass.  The biker chick rides out and attacks Angelina.  Rayne DDTs Angelina on a chair and leaves with biker chick again.  Ugh.  Whatever.

Jeff Hardy talks to nobody about Jay Lethal.  Commercials.

Jay Lethal vs. Jeff Hardy.  Lethal leap frogs Hardy and tries a roll under, but Hardy hits his leg drop to the legs for 2.  Lethal hits the Jericho springboard dropkick to the apron to knock Hardy to the floor and follows with a tope suicida.  Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Stevie Richards, and Raven take their usual place in the crowd.  Lethal covers Hardy for 2.  Lethal hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind for 2.  They trade shots.  Hardy hits a clothesline and a Manhattan Drop, then a leg drop to the balls and a basement dropkick for 2.  Lethal hits a springboard missile dropkick for 2.  Hardy counters the Lethal Combination and hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb for the pin in 4:29.  Okay little match, but there was absolutely no reason for this match to happen, unless they just decided to pull the plug on Lethal’s push.  He should have gone over a heel instead of jobbing to Jeff Hardy in a pointless babyface match.

Abyss and his girlfriend are headed our way.  Commercials.

Ric Flair, AJ Styles, and Kazarian are in the ring.  Flair says they’re the first 2 members of Fortune.  Desmond Wolfe comes out and says he deserves to be in.  Abyss comes out chases them away with the nail board.  He calls out Rob Van Dam.  Abyss tells RVD it’s time to share the plans.  Abyss babbles about “they.”  He wants to have a ladder match for the board, or something.  RVD retorts, then hits Abyss with the belt and kicks his ass.  Abyss fights back and drops RVD with a big boot.  Abyss chokeslams RVD and goes for the board.  Mick Foley comes out to the ramp.  Tommy Dreamer, Richards, Raven, and Rhino jump the guardrail and attack Abyss.  Security comes out and gets their asses kicked.  Doug Williams, Brutus Magnus, and Kazuchika Okada come out and get their asses kicked.  Same for more security.  Same for Desmond Wolfe, Brian Kendrick, D’Lo Brown, and Terry Taylor.  Pat Kenney and Al Snow come out and join the ECW guys.  Jay Lethal, Eric Young, Matt Morgan, and The Pope join the fray.  Brother Devon comes out and joins the invaders.  Jeff Jarrett comes out to try to get shit under control.  Dixie Carter is in the crowd.  More security and cops come out.  Dixie orders everyone to stop.  She says that she invited them.  Everyone is like WTF?  So am I.  End show.  Double WTF?  What the hell is going on here?

Lame, confusing show, but the Beer Money/Guns match was good.

New Japan “Resolution ’09” 4/5/09 (Repost)

Posted in NJPW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2010 by Grappleholic

Originally posted on June 18, 2009.

Here we are with another great New Japan Sumo Hall event.  We get a video package, then the announcer running down the card for the audience, and at last, we’re off!

Kazuchika Okada vs. Koji Kanemoto.  Young lion Okada is full of piss and vinegar, and takes the fight right to the more experienced Kanemoto.  Kanemoto gets tired of this shit and delivers an ass kicking, consisting of kicks and bitch slaps.  Repeated face washes in the corner from Kanemoto, then Okada fights back and gives him a taste of his own medicine.  Kanemoto lays in some kicks and Okada is knocked outside.  Kanemoto follows him out for a moment, then comes back in to await the count.  Okada makes it back in at 16.  Kanemoto misses his diving flippy senton thing and Okada makes a comeback.  He goes up top, perhaps for a moonsault, but Kanemoto follows him up and teases a Tiger suplex off the top rope.  Okada fights him off and hits a diving lariat for a near fall.  Okada keeps fighting and gets some more near falls.  They trade strikes, then Kanemoto delivers a vicious head kick and a punch to the face, prompting the referee to stop the match at 8:28.  Fun match.  Okada is helped to the back.

Tomohiro Ishii, Jado, & Tomoaki Honma of GBH vs. Wataru Inoue, Milano Collection AT, & Taichi Ishikari.  Ishii and Inoue have been at war recently, and they go straight at each other to start.  Tag to Ishikari, who beats up Ishii for a moment before Ishii carries him to the GBH corner and tags in Honma.  Honma quickly tags out to Jado, then Ishikari tags in Milano.  Milano gets some kind of weird hold on Jado and the other guys start fighting outside.  Milano ties Jado up in the ropes and goes to hit the ropes on the other side, but Honma pulls him out and takes him out into the crowd to hit him with a chair.  Ishikari comes back in the ring to get his ass kicked by Jado.  The match gets back in order and Ishii tags in to beat up Milano.  Honma tags in and bites Milano’s head, then pounds him in the corner.  Ishii comes back in and goes for a lariat, but Milano avoids with the Matrix dodge and makes the hot tag to Inoue, who cleans GBH house.  Inoue hits a double underhook facebuster on Ishii for a near fall.  Tags to Ishikari and Honma.  Honma takes some punishment and gets superkicked by Ishikari and Milano for a near fall, which he is saved from.  Ishikari fires away again, but Honma drops him with a lariat, then hits a diving headbutt for the pin at 8:53.

NJPW Greatest Heritage: Masahiro Chono, Jushin Thunder Liger, & AKIRA vs. Riki Choshu, Super Strong Machine, & El Samurai.  Choshu is like 300 years old and sucks at this stage, but damn his music is catchy. Chono and Choshu start us off with some grumpy old guy brawling.  Machine comes in and works over Chono a bit, locking him in a leg hold before AKIRA saves.  Chono tags in AKIRA, and after a brief AKIRA/Machine exchange, Samurai tags in.  We finally get some Samurai/Liger goodness for a moment.  Samurai hits a tope suicida, then tags Choshu back in.  Team Chono works over Choshu a bit, then Samurai tags in and brawls with Chono.  Lots of quick tags, I presume because all of these guys are old and easily winded.  Choshu hits the Riki Lariat on AKIRA, then Machine follows with a senton for a near fall.  Samurai tags in and gets some quick cradle near falls on AKIRA.  Samurai hits the reverse DDT and a diving headbutt on AKIRA, then locks in the chickenwing armlock.  Liger makes the save.  Chono blasts Samurai with the Shining Yakuza kick, then AKIRA follows with the Musasabi press for the win at 8:21.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Ryusuke Taguchi & Prince Devitt.  Taguchi and Devitt are collectively known as Apollo 55.  Sabin and Devitt go a bit, then Taguchi and Shelley.  There are two suicide dives in the first two minutes.  Taguchi and Devitt double team Shelley, then Sabin and Shelley double team Devitt.  Guns make quick tags and continue to work over Devitt.  Devitt fights back and makes the hot tag to the Funky Weapon, who proceeds to show the Guns why he is called the Master of the Dropkick.  Taguchi lands a superplex on Sabin, then turns it into the three amigos.  Taguchi goes for the Dodon, but Sabin counters it.  Guns hit the Magic Killer on Taguchi, and Sabin covers for a near fall.  Sabin lands a big dropkick that knocks Devitt off the apron.  Guns double team Taguchi and set up a Doomsday Device or something, but Devitt prevents it.  Taguchi gets a front cradle for a near fall, then a cross armed German on Shelly for another.  Devitt and Taguchi do some swank double teaming on Shelley and go for a cover, but Sabin makes the save.  Sabin gets sent out and Shelley gets double teamed some more.  They set up another big move, but Sabin saves again.  Shelley hits an Air Raid Crash on Taguchi, then Sabin hits a suicide dive to the outside onto him.  Quick stuff from Shelley and Devitt.  Devitt gets the better of it until Sabin comes back in.  Guns blast Devitt with a double superkick for a near fall.  Guns hit the Made In Detroit on Devitt and Shelley gets the pin at 12:55.  Really good match.  They shake hands afterwards.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship Match (Title vs. Mask): Tiger Mask IV (c) vs. Black Tiger V.  BT works an armlock to start, but TM hits a cool rolling thing to get out of it.  They work around slowly for a bit, then it gets quick and kinda interesting.  The ref gets knocked down at the 3 minute mark and BT lands a low blow.  BT tries to take off TM’s mask.  He yells in English that he’s the real tiger.  Well there goes the rumor that he’s Tatsuhito Takaiwa… TM dropkicks BT out of the ring and lands a tope suicida, which sends BT into the barricade.  It goes to a double count-out at 6:47.  BT thinks he won and grabs the belt, but the referee takes it away.  Some bald guy, I’d guess from the IWGP committee, tells the referee something.  The referee takes the mic and says something… I guess that the match will be restarted.  BT goes on the attack and hits a sweet jumping DDT, then a weakish avalanche-style Frankensteiner, a Tiger suplex hold, and a Michinoku Driver II or a half-assed Tombstone, all of which get 2 counts.  TM gets a front cradle and a backslide for quick 2 counts.  BT throws some kicks at him and heads up top.  TM hits the turnbuckle to send BT into it balls first.  They slap each other on the top rope, then TM hits his avalanche Butterfly suplex for 2.  TM hits a Tombstone for 2, then a cobra clutch suplex, following by the Destroy suplex hold for the victory at 4:51, for a total match time of about 11 minutes.  The match had its moments.  Bald guy orders him to unmask, and he does, revealing… Rocky Romero!  But wait, Romero was Black Tiger IV!  Something isn’t right about this!  Romero shakes Tiger’s hand, then raises his arm in victory and leaves.  Wait, there’s the real Black Tiger V, who gives TM a Death Valley bomb and rips off his mask!  Tiger covers his face with t-shirts from the young lions and leaves.  The bald guy might be Masahito Kakihara.

G1 Climax 2009 hype video.

Intermission, featuring highlights of the earlier matches, then the announcers talking.  I fast forward since I don’t understand Japanese.

Hiroyoshi Tenzan comes out and talks.  I think he announces that he will be returning from injury soon.  If I recall correctly, he went out with an eye injury the day before the January 4 Tokyo Dome show.

Big Comeback WILD HEART: Giant Bernard & Karl Anderson of GBH vs. Manabu Nakanishi & Takao Omori.  Nakanishi and Omori reform their “Wild Child” tag team!  Anderson and Omori start with some fair wrestling.  Bernard tags in, and Orton tries to be abusive and elusive.  Tag to Nakanishi, so we get the battle of the hosses.  Bernard manages to drop Nakanishi with a shoulder block, but then Nakanishi gets Bernard up with an impressive suplex.  Omori tags in FIRED UP and takes out an interfering Anderson, but Bernard drops him with a lariat.  Omori takes the heat for a while, but shows much fighting spirit!  Hot tag to Nakanishi, then I had a phone call, during which there were a couple of cool spots including Nakanishi getting Bernard in the Argentine backbreaker and a big German suplex, and Wild Child hitting their Washington Jouyaku double team move.  Omori MURDERS Anderson with the Axe Guillotine Driver for 2.  Seriously?  Anderson kicks out of THAT?  Omori counters a powerbomb attempt from Bernard, but Anderson catches him with a stunner for the pin at 15:51.  Pretty decent match.

HUGE RIOT: Toru Yano vs. Hirooki Goto.  They trade elbows early on, then Yano claws Goto’s face.  More elbows, then Goto attacks Yano’s shoulder and goes to work on it.  Yano bails to the outside and Goto tries to dive on him, but Yano avoids it.  Yano attacks Goto’s knee with his GBH chair.  They go into the crowd where Yano attacks Goto’s knee with audience chairs.  He’s not picky about what kind of chair he attacks the knee with, apparently.  Yano continues working the knee back in the ring.  Goto tries to make a comeback, but Yano ducks under a big spin kick attempt.  Yano tries to use the timekeeper’s bell, but the referee stops him.  Yano smacks the referee, who goes down, and Goto uses him as a prop for a Poetry In Motion.  Goto mounts his comeback.  Diving elbow drop gets 2.  Goto goes for the Shouten, but can’t do it with the bad knee.  Goto catches a cross armbreaker out of nowhere, but Yano turns it into a cradle for 2.  Goto gets a German, even after Yano tries to fight it by holding onto the ropes, for 2.  Goto goes for the Shouten again, but Yano inside cradles him for 2.  Yano hits a spear and a spinning slam thing for 2.  Yano goes for his powerbomb, but doesn’t get it.  Goto hits a lariat and gets FIRED UP, but then Yano hits his powerbomb.  Goto manages to kick out, and Yano can’t believe it.  Yano goes for the powerbomb again, but Goto counters and gets his armlock on for the win at 16:11.  It wasn’t bad.

Nagata/Iizuka video package.

Bolt from the Blue – Chain Death Match: Takashi Iizuka vs. Yuji Nagata.  Iizuka is seconded by Ishii and Jado, while Nagata has Taguchi, Ishikari, and somebody else (Mitsuhide Hirasawa, I think).  Anyway, it’s a chain match, so they use the chain a lot.  Nagata bleeds less than 2 minutes in, which pisses him off, so he kicks Iizuka’s ass for a while.  Iizuka hits him with the GBH chair, then hits him with the chain and pounds him right in front of the commentators.  Iizuka bites the bloody wound on Nagata’s head.  Now THAT is heel.  I think this is my first time seeing heel Iizuka, and fuck is he great.  Iizuka hits an Exploder and covers, but pinfalls don’t count here.  You can only win by KO or submission, I think.  Nagata gets FIRED UP again and beats the shit out of him.  Nagata bites Iizuka’s forehead and bloodies him.  Iizuka tries to bail.  You’re chained to him, moron!  Nagata cleverly uses the chain to pull Iizuka into the turnbuckle.  Iizuka fights it all he can, but Nagata pulls him back in the ring and kicks the shit out of him.  Nagata tries for a cross armbreaker, but Iizuka bites his leg.  Iizuka wraps the chain around Nagata’s neck and goes for the sleeper, but Nagata backdrop suplexes his way out of it.  Nagata locks on the demon armbar with the chain, then beats the shit out of an interfering Ishii.  Iizuka nails Nagata with some sort of foreign object that Jado handed him.  Iizuka chokes out Nagata with the chain for the win at 21:59.  I liked it.  Probably the second best chain match I’ve seen.

Nakamura/Makabe video package.

The End of Discord:
Togi Makabe (w/ Tomoaki Honma) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.  Makabe meets Nakamura on the stage and they brawl to the ring.  Nakamura throws lots of kicks early on, then applies a front sleeper.  He doesn’t quite put him to to sleep, as the following cover only gets 2.  Makabe tries to fight back, but Nakamura throws lots more kicks and continues to destroy him.  Nakamura hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Nakamura goes for the Landslide, but Makabe escapes it and drops him with a lariat.  Makabe finally starts to build some momentum.  Makabe hits a strange Death Valley bomb for 2.  They do a couple of double lariat spots where neither guy does down, then Nakamura hits a cool suplex thing that I don’t really know what to call.  Tiger suplex from Nakamura gets 2.  Makabe hits a spider German suplex and goes for the King Kong knee drop, but Nakamura avoids it.  Nakamura starts building a comeback, but Honma hits him with a chair while the referee was down.  Honma hands Makabe the chair, but Toru Yano comes in and takes it.  He gets ready to nail Nakamura… but nails Makabe instead!  Nakamura hits the Landslide for the win at 12:42.  Yano nails Honma with the chair, then he and Nakamura beat down Makabe!  Makabe is stretchered out.

Tanahashi/Angle video package.

IWGP Heavyweight Championship Match – WHICH IS GENIUS: Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs. Kurt Angle.  Hirooki Goto is watching intently at ringside, as he will challenge the winner on May 3.  They start slow.  Tanahashi works a headlock.  Angle hits a move out of it, but Tanahashi keeps it clamped on.  Angle keeps trying to escape it, but Tanahashi seems obsessed with it.  Angle finally gets out of it and hits a big belly to belly overhead throw.  Angle applies a rear chinlock.  Tanahashi escapes it, but gets caught with a knee to the gut.  Cover gets 2.  They hit the ropes and do the double cross body spot.  They trade European uppercuts.  Tanahashi has a flurry of offense and hits a pair of sentons for 2.  Rolling senton off the second rope gets 2 as well.  Angle throws Tanahashi out of the ring and Tanahashi skins the cat back in.  Appropriate, since the announcers keep saying “Shawn Michaels.”  Tanahashi hits the Sling Blade and goes for it again, but Angle goes for the Angle Slam.  Tanahashi arm drags out of it and body slams Angle.  Tanahashi goes up top, but Angle catches him and hits a sort-of Angle Slam off the top for 2.  Angle does the rolling Germans, but Tanahashi counters one and hits a sort-of release Dragon suplex.  Tanahashi goes for the High Fly Flow, but Angle moves and hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Angle lowers the straps and locks the ankle lock in.  Tanahashi tries to fight out of it, but Angle keeps it clamped on.  Tanahashi finally escapes it and hits a Dragon screw, then locks in the Texas Cloverleaf.  Angle counters back into the ankle lock.  Tanahashi rolls through with a front cradle for a very close 2.  Tanahashi counters another Angle Slam attempt and hits the Sling Blade for 2.  He goes up top again.  Angle tries to meet him, but gets decked.  Tanahashi hits a cross body and two High Fly Flows for the win at 15:12.  It wasn’t the super great match I expected from these two, but it was still very good.  Usual big post-title match deal with the belt and trophy presentation.  Goto steps in the ring to hype their upcoming title match, but it doesn’t really go anywhere.  Tanahashi talks, then the announcers talk, but it’s all in Japanese, so I don’t understand it.

Pretty good show altogether.  It took me over a week to watch it all due to various circumstances.