Archive for Kaval

WWE Tuesday Night Smackdown! 12/21/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, hype video, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers LIVE from San Antonio.  Tonight, John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero!  Also, the NEW World Heavyweight Champion Edge appears!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Non-Title: Randy Orton vs. WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).  They show Jerry Lawler getting the pin on Miz after Orton delivered the RKO last night on Raw.  They lock.  Orton powers Miz into the corner.  The referee breaks them up.  Miz gets in a cheap shot, which just pisses Orton off.  Miz bails.  Orton chases him back into the ring and does a Steve Austin style Lou Thesz press with punches.  Miz bails again.  Orton throws him into the barricade and drops him with a punch, then threatens Riley into stepping back.  Orton continues beating up Miz back inside.  Miz pulls Orton’s head across the top rope and hits a basement big boot for 2.  Orton fires back with punches, but gets caught with a knee lift.  Miz hits a suplex for 2.  They trade punches.  Orton hits the 3.0 and makes his comeback.  Orton hits the powerslam.  Miz rolls to the apron like an idiot.  Orton goes for the DDT OF MURDER, but Miz counters him and sends him to the apron.  Riley knocks Orton off the apron behind the referee’s back.  Miz whips Orton into the steps.  Commercials.  Orton fights out of a rear chin lock and goes for a sleeper.  Miz counters into one of his own.  Orton hits a backdrop suplex.  Miz lands a big boot for 2, then stomps on Orton and argues with the referee for no apparent reason.  Miz goes up top.  Orton crotches him and hits a superplex.  Cover gets 2.  Orton is selling that he hurt his collarbone.  Orton beats down Miz in the corner.  Orton hits the Angle Slam for 2.  Miz hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker for 2.  Orton lands a high dropkick for 2.  Orton goes for a powerbomb.  Riley gets on the apron to distract him.  Miz back body drops Orton to escape his predicament.  Miz hits the corner clothesline and a DDT for 2.  They counter each others’ finishes.  Miz gets a backslide for 2.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  Riley gets on the apron.  Orton decks him and hits Miz with the RKO.  Riley breaks the cover to cause the DQ in 13:51.  Good match.  Orton clotheslines Riley out of the ring.  Orton goes for the PUNT OF DEATH on Miz, but Riley comes back in.  Orton drops him with the RKO, but it gives The Miz time to bail.

They show John Cena burying Wade Barrett under chairs at TLC.  Tonight, Cena takes on Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero in a Handicap Match!

The Big Santa and Rosa Mendez are backstage handing out gifts.  Hornswoggle is an elf.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

The Big Santa, Rosa Mendez, and Hornswoggle the elf come out and throw some free merchandise to the crowd.  Show breaks a chair, then reads a WWE Christmas story about TLC.  They start to leave.  Cody Rhodes appears and decks Hornswoggle, knocks over the Christmas tree, and bails.  Big Santa is pissed.

Tonight, Edge!  Commercials.

Tribute To The Troops hype.

San Antonio!

Raw Rebound.

Cena vs. Ziggler & Vickie tonight!

Todd Grisham interviews Beth Phoenix, who took a nasty spill at the PPV.  WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov interrupt.  Santino wishes his former paramour well.  Kozlov holds a mistletoe over them.  Beth says Santino is seeing Tamina on Raw.  Santino says “What happens on Smackdown stays on Smackdown.”  Beth kisses Kozlov instead.  Santino and Kozlov argue.  Cute.  Commercials.

WWE Tag Team Champion Santino Marella (w/ WWE Tag Team Champion Vladimir Kozlov) vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Jobber entrance for poor Chavo.  Santino hits a judo throw.  Chavo beats on him,  Santino back body drops Chavo to the floor, then throws him back inside.  Chavo cuts Santino off getting back in the ring and beats on him.  Chavo hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Santino hulks up and makes his comeback.  Chavo gets his knees up for the jumping headbutt.  Chavo goes for the Three Amigos, but Santino counters the third and hits a Stunner.  Santino hits the Cobra and schoolboys Chavo for the pin in 2:53.  Fun little match.

Edge is NEXT!  Commercials.

The NEW World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out to talk.  He says the stupid storyline he went through was worth it because he has the belt.  He starts to talk about his accomplishments, but Kane comes out and tells him to shut up.  They banter.  Edge offers to give Kane his rematch RIGHT NOW!  Kane pussies out.

Tonight, Alberto Del Rio & Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston!  They replay Cena’s burial of Wade Barrett again.  He’ll face Ziggler & Vickie tonight!  Commercials!

Ezekiel Jackson hype video.

Drew McIntyre vs. Kaval.  Drew is sporting a tiny goatee that makes him look just like Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean.  McIntyre jumps Kaval before the bell and stomps the shit out of him.  Kaval is still ready to wrestle.  McIntyre immediately boots him in the head and hits the Future Shock for the pin in 25 seconds.  Damn, Kaval just got jobbed the fuck out.

More Tribute To The Troops hype.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio, who is in action NEXT!  Commercials!

Alberto Del Rio & Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. & Kofi Kingston.  Swagger knocks Kofi out of the ring.  Del Rio jumps Mysterio and tries to rip his mask off.  Swagger and Del Rio take turns beating up Mysterio.  Kofi tags in and hits a Stinger Splash on Del Rio for 2.  Mysterio tags in and hits Del Rio with a springboard seated senton for 2.  Kofi comes back in with a missile dropkick for 2, as Swagger makes the save.  Del Rio charges Kofi and sails through the ropes.  Mysterio low bridges Swagger out of the ring.  Mysterio and Kofi hit stereo dives to the outside on their opponents.  Commercials!  Del Rio has Mysterio in a rear chin lock.  The heels took over the match via nefarious means during the break.  Del Rio hits a basement kick on Mysterio for 2.  Swagger tags in and keeps the heat going.  Mysterio rallies and makes the hot tag.  Kofi runs wild on Swagger, but gets caught with boots when he charges Swagger in the corner.  Swagger drops him with a big boot for 2.  The heels cut Kofi off and work him over.  Mysterio and Del Rio gets tags.  Mysterio hits a flippy DDT for 2.  Mysterio connects with a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Del Rio catches Mysterio with a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Swagger blind tags in and cuts him off with a lariat for 2.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio counters him.  Mysterio gets Del Rio and Swagger both in position and goes for the 619.  Del Rio escapes, but Swagger eats it.  Kofi takes Del Rio out and hits Swagger with the Trouble In Paradise.  Mysterio hits the springboard splash on Swagger for the pin in 13:40.  Very good match.

Another replay of Cena burying Wade Barrett.  Cena vs. Ziggler & Vickie TONIGHT!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night

Remember the Alamo!

Drew McIntyre hits on Kelly Kelly backstage.

Vickie Guerrero is warming up backstage.  WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler tries to talk her out of participating in this match.  He fails, then helps her stretch.  Stupid.  It’s next.  Commercials.

Next week, Edge &  Rey Mysterio vs. Kane & Alberto Del Rio!

Handicap Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero vs. John Cena.  Vickie wants to start.  That’s just silly.  Cena is amused.  Cena takes Ziggler over with a side headlock.  Ziggler turns it into a cradle for 2.  I love that spot.  Cena does a drop down, leapfrog, shoulder block, then grabs a rear chin lock.  Vickie yells at Cena, distracting him and letting Ziggler get the advantage.  Vickie tags herself in when Cena is beaten down and stands on his head.  Ouch.  Cena lifts her up.  Ziggler tags himself back in and beats him down.  Cover gets 2.  Ziggler hits elbow drops for 2.  Cena hits a bulldog headlock for 2.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Ziggler counters into a DDT for 2.  Ziggler chokes Cena in the ropes.  Vickie kicks him.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler knocks Cena off the apron to the floor.  Cena is phenomenal at selling a beating.  Ziggler rams his head into the announce table.  He tries to do it on the steps, but Cena blocks in and rams Ziggler’s head into the steps.  Back inside, Ziggler catches Cena with a nice dropkick for 2.  Cena hits a suplex.  They trade punches.  Ziggler ducks Cena’s shoulder block and Cena sails out of the ring.  Vickie kicks at Cena behind the referee’s back.  Cena gives Ziggler a gutwrench suplex.  Ziggler avoids Cena in the corner and clamps on a rear chin lock.  Ziggler hits a jawbreaker for 2.  Vickie tags herself in and taunts Cena.  She tries a big splash, but Cena moves out of the way.  Ziggler tags back in.  Cena makes his comeback and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Ziggler counters in midair and hits the Fameasser for 2.  Cena avoids the Zig Zag and locks in the STF.  Vickie breaks it and screams at Cena.  Cena kisses her.  Gross.  Cena gives Ziggler the Attitude Adjustment for the pin in 13:29.  Really good match.  Cena and Ziggler work very well together.  Vickie screams at Cena and slaps him.  Cena goes to give her the Attitude Adjustment.  CM Punk appears out of nowhere and attacks Cena with a chair!  Punk is even in wrestling gear.  I thought his injury was going to keep him out for several more months.  I’m excited for a Cena/Punk program.

Really fun show with some good wrestling.  3 good nights in a row from WWE!

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 12/17/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Edge comes out and cuts a promo.  They show a video recapping the WORST STORYLINE EVER between Edge, Kane, and Paul Bearer, complete with WACKY MUSIC~!  Edge wants to forget that it ever happened, and so do I, but what has been seen cannot be unseen.  Edge talks about what a dick Kane is, which somehow justifies Edge being a dick.  He’ll win the belt Sunday or whatever.

Video of The Miz on a talk show hosted by that idiot who was in that Taxi movie with Queen Latifah.

Tonight, The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio!  Commercials.

Edge talks to Teddy Long backstage.  They’re worried that Kane won’t show up for the PPV.  Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio come in and bicker about who should get a title shot.  Long adds Mysterio and Del Rio to the TLC Match at the PPV.  It’ll be a three-way or a four-way, depending on whether or not Kane shows up.

Kofi Kingston & Kaval vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) & Jack Swagger.  Swagger and Kaval lock up.  Swagger beats on him.  They’re in the corner, so the referee gets in the way.  Kaval goes for a handspring attack, but Swagger catches him.  Kaval lands a spin kick for 2.  Kaval ranas Swagger out of the ring.  Kofi throws Ziggler outside.  Kofi and Kaval hit stereo suicide dives.  Commercials.  Swagger cranks on Kaval’s shoulders and neck.  The heels used nefarious tactics to get the advantage during the break.  They get the heat on Kaval.  Kaval lands on on his feet from a German suplex and ALMOST makes the tag, but Swagger cuts him off, so they keep the heat going.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Kaval turns it into a sunset flip into a double stomp.  Kofi gets the hot tag and runs wild on Ziggler.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Ziggler ducks.  Kofi hits the S.O.S.  Swagger saves.  Kaval takes Swagger to the floor.  Ziggler gets a schoolboy.  Kofi rolls through and hits the Trouble In Paradise for the pin in 10:54.  Good little tag match.  Swagger decks Ziggler after the match.  Vickie screams at him.  I wish he’d give her the Doctor Bomb.

Jack Korpela interviews WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).  He’s on Smackdown because he’s super busy.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

JTG does a segment called “Str8 Outta Brooklyn” where he just talks about random shit.

Kelly Kelly and Kaitlyn talk while Kelly does her makeup.  Drew McIntyre hits on Kelly.  Kaitlyn blows him off for her.  That was pointless.

Speaking of pointless, we get more Cody Rhodes grooming tips.  Commercials.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters.  Rhodes shoves Masters, then covers his face.  Masters hits him in the back, then slaps him and beats on him.  Masters hits a press slam.  Masters hits corner punches.  Rhodes hot shots him into the top rope and hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 1:07.  That was abrupt.

Rey Mysterio is headed our way!  Commercials.

Non-Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley).  They lock up.  Mysterio takes him down and goes for a sleeper.  Miz gets the ropes.  They lock up again.  Miz grabs a side head lock and hits a shoulder block.  Mysterio does the drop down, leapfrog, eat a clothesline bit.  Wait, that’s not how that usually goes, is it?  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio hits a flying headscissors, then stomps Miz in the corner and hits a running dropkick.  Mysterio goes up top.  Miz trips him.  Riley gets a cheap shot behind the referee’s back.  Miz hits a sliding dropkick on Mysterio against the post.  Miz applies a rear chin lock.  Mysterio gets out and eats a boot to the face.  Mysterio ducks a running kick and fights back.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Miz bails.  Mysterio hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Riley helps Miz up, then takes Rey’s seated senton off the apron.  Miz boots Mysterio in the face.  Commercials.  Miz has Mysterio in the double arm pull into the knee thing.  Mysterio fights out.  Miz hits him with a modified uranage for 2.  Mysterio hits a spinning DDT and a rebound cross body for 2.  Miz ducks a Buzzsaw kick and sends Mysterio into the turnbuckles.  Miz hits the corner clothesline and goes up top.  Mysterio cuts him off and hits a top rope Frankensteiner!  Cover gets 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  Alex Riley gets on the apron.  Alberto Del Rio appears and trips Mysterio.  Miz gets a schoolboy for 2.  Mysterio dropkicks Del Rio through the ropes and goes for the diving splash on Miz.  Miz gets his knees up, then gets the pin 13:15.  Good match, much better than the Raw match, but with the same interference.  Del Rio attacks Mysterio.  Edge runs in for the save.  Edge and Mysterio fight off Miz and Del Rio.  Teddy Long comes out and books Miz & Del Rio vs. Edge & Mysterio for later tonight.  Damn, Mysterio and Miz just did an almost 15 minute match.  Commercials.

Smack of the Night: The Diva Battle Royal from Raw.

The Slammy Award winning and obnoxious Michelle McCool and Layla come out to be obnoxious… and Slammy Award winning.  They don’t want to do the match at the PPV.  WWE Divas Champion Natalya and Beth Phoenix bring out a gift wrapped table.  They banter.  LayCool are obnoxious some more.  Beth unwraps the table.  It has painting of LayCool as ugly witches.  They fight.  The heels escape getting put through the table… for now.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov are headed our way!  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Tyler Reks.  Snatino grabs Reks in a side headlock.  Reks breaks free.  They shoulder block each other.  Neither fall, but Santino hurts himself and tags out.  Reks slams Kozlov.  Kozlov hits the battering ram headbutts.  Reks knocks him down and stomps on him.  Chavo tags himself in and hits a basement dropkick for 1.  Kozlov throws him off.  Kozlov hits a powerslam.  Santino tags in and hits Chavo with a judo throw for 2.  Chavo avoids the falling headbutt and beats on Santino.  Reks tags in and beats up Santino.  Cover gets 2.  Chavo tags in to keep the heat going.  He fails, as Santino immediately makes his comeback and makes the hot tag to Kozlov.  Chavo tries to cut him off, but Kozlov kicks his ass.  Chavo comes off the top, but Kozlov shoves him away, then pushes Reks off the apron.  Santino tags in and hits Chavo with the Cobra, followed by a schoolboy for the pin in 3:38.  Fun for what it was.

Tonight, Edge & Mysterio vs. Miz & Del Rio!  Commercials.

Ezekiel Jackson comes to Smackdown next week!  Why did they trade him to Raw in the first place then?

Raw Rebound.

TLC hype.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  The main event is NEXT!  Commercials!

WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) & Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge & Rey Mysterio Jr.  Miz and Edge lock up.  Edge grabs a side headlock and hits a shoulder block.  Edge takes Miz down with a headlock takeover.  Miz takes over and tags in Del Rio.  Del Rio hits a body slam for 2.  Del Rio applies a rear chin lock.  Stuff happens.  Miz tags back in.  Mysterio tags in and double teams Miz with Edge.  Cover gets 2.  Miz avoids Mysterio in the corner and Mysterio spears the post.  Miz hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Del Rio tags in and keeps the heat on his enemy.  Mysterio takes his “sliding under the ropes to the floor” bump.  Del Rio puts the boots to him on the outside.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Mysterio continues to play face in peril until he rolls through the (mandatory in every Mysterio match) sunset flip and lands a head kick on Del Rio.  Edge and Miz tag in.  Edge runs wild.  Edge goes for the spear.  Riley trips him.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Del Rio saves.  Cut the backstage, where Kane has killed people.  Mysterio hits the 619 on Del Rio.  Edge spears Miz.  World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out and attacks Edge.  Del Rio attacks Mysterio.  Pretty much everyone comes out to break up the fight between Kane and Edge: Kaval, Kofi Kingston, Curt Hawkins, Trent Barreta, Drew McIntyre, JTG, Chris Masters, Dolph Ziggler, Vladimir Kozlov, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Jack Swagger, and Santino Marella.  Of course, Kane and Edge fight off the roster.  Kane chokeslams Barreta.  Edge spears Kane.  Fade to black.  I was digging this match until the non-finish.

Best Smackdown in many weeks.  By that I mean it was decent instead of fucking horrible.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 12/10/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, recap of recent stupidity.  Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out to whine about Edge stealing his daddy.  Edge appears on the screen.  He has Paul Bearer in mortal peril as usual.  Edge wants to use Bearer for chair shot practice.  Edge hits Bearer in the back with a chair.  Kane runs to the back to find that Edge has Bearer set up for a one man conchairto.  Or so it seems.  Edge hits a fake Paul Bearer with a chair and runs away.  “Another dummy,” Kane says.  Whoever write this storyline is the dummy.  Kane sees Edge run away with the real Bearer off in the distance.  This is the worst storyline in the history of wrestling, television, literature, or anything else that has ever existed as a creative medium.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer for some reason.

Jack Swagger vs. Kaval.  Swagger wins the lock up and beats the crap out of Kaval.  Kaval rallies and hits a running kick for 2.  Kaval ends up on Swagger’s shoulders.  Swagger throws him off, injuring his leg.  Swagger attacks the leg.  Kaval fights out of a powerbomb attempt, then sells his ankle.  Kaval ducks a charing Swagger and lands a head kick.  Kaval tries to mount a comeback.  He lands a koppou kick and gets rolling.  Kaval avoids Swagger in the corner and hits a diving knee strike for 2.  Kaval tries to go up top, but his ankle is screwed.  Swagger takes out the ankle and locks in the ankle lock for the win in 5:26.  Good little match.  Swagger cuts a promo after the match, bitching about losing to Kofi Kingston last week.  They show the aforementioned loss.  He bitches about being in the ropes when he got hit with Kofi’s finish, so they’re pretending that shit matters this week.

Tale of the tape for Hornswoggle vs. The Soaring Eagle.  Are you fucking serious?  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Hornswoggle (w/ Rosa Mendez) vs. The Soaring Eagle.  Rosa hands Hornswoggle a bag of bird seed.  Hornswoggl throws some around the ring.  The eagle goes for it.  Hornswoggle knocks it down, then tries to eat its leg.  Horswoggle rides the eagle, then slaps it, then runs into a big boot.  A big talon?  The eagle puts the talons to Hornswoggle.  The eagle misses the Ballin’ elbow.  Hornswoggle sits on it, then hits the tadpole splash for the pin in 2:21.  I cannot fucking believe I just reviewed that match.

Tonight, Edge & Rey Mysterio vs. Kane & Alberto Del Rio.  Commercials.

Backstage, Teddy Long congratulates the NEW WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Santino says they are both excited to be able to appear on Smackdown.  Kozlov says “More people for me to crush.”  Santino signs “We Are The Champions.”  Kozlov waves a cigarette lighter around.  Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes in and challenges them to a match tonight.  Santino accepts.  Lots of Queen references.

Next, Dolph Ziggler defends the Intercontinental Championship against Kofi Kingston.

Kofi Kingston hype video.

Todd Grisham interviews WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.  Commercials.

Vickie Guerrero’s introduction of Ziggler is the worse thing I’ve heard since I was forced to listen to Edgard Varese’s Electronic Poem.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kofi Kingston.  They lock up.  Kofi gets a schoolboy for 1.  Kofi gets another cradle for 2.  Ziggler beats on Kofi.  Ziggler hits the Perfect neck snap for 2.  Kofi hits a monkey flip and a dropkick, then a running elbow smash.  Kofi goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Ziggler bails.  Commercials.  Ziggler has Kofi in a chin lock.  He releases it and hits a dropkick for 2.  Ziggler hits an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler applies a face lock.  Kofi fights out and catapults Ziggler into the turnbuckles.  Ziggler takes that better than anyone not named Curt Hennig.  Kofi makes h is comeback.  Ziggler counts the S.O.S.  Kofi keeps rolling anyway.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and a missile dropkick.  Vickie gets on the apron and makes an ungodly noise.  Kofi covers Ziggler for 2.  Ziggler cradles Kofi for 2.  Ziggler kicks Kofi in the chin.  They fight on the top rope.  Kofi knocks Ziggler down and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi goes for a suplex, but Ziggler counters and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Ziggler throws Kofi’s shoulder into the post.  Kofi hits the Trouble In Paradise.  Jack Swagger runs in and pulls Kofi off the cover to cause the DQ in 12:43.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock.  Referees make him break.  Okay match.  I hate fuck finishes.

Edge has Paul Bearer in mortal peril.  He warns Kane against approaching.  Kane does anyway.  Another mannequin takes a bump off of something high through a table.  Kane is pissed.  So am I.  This is the worst shit ever.  Commercials.

Chris Masters is in the ring to do the Master Lock Challenge.  “Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out to participate in this crap.  There’s a bell, so I guess this is supposed to be a match.

Master Lock Challenge: Chris Masters vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes wipes the chair down before sitting in it, then tries to make Masters do his nails.  Masters slaps him and orders him into the chair.  Rhodes gets mad that his faced was touched.  Masters grabs his face.  Rhodes throws a temper tantrum and looks in his jacket mirror.  Masters locks in the Master Lock for the win in 2:43.  Stupid crap.

Tonight, Edge & Mysterio vs. Kane & Del Rio.  Commercials.

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Drew McIntyre & Chavo Guerrero Jr.  They show Santino & Kozlov beating The Nexus for the titles on Raw when John Cena provided the distraction.  Santino hits McIntyre with an arm drag.  McIntyre decks him.  Kozlov tags in and beats up McIntyre.  The referee gets in the way to let McIntyre get the advantage.  Kozlov quickly overcomes this brief inconvenience.  Chavo pulls Kozlov’s back across the ropes, then gets the tag and hits the Eddie hilo.  Chavo beats up Kozlov.  Santino gets the tag and runs wild on McIntyre.  McIntyre cuts him off and goes for the Future Shock.  Chavo tags himself in and goes for the frog splash.  Santino avoids it and hits the Cobra for the pin in 3:09.  Alright then.  McIntyre bitches at Chavo for being a failure, then gives him the Future Shock.

Earlier tonight, we were forced to watch another skit in the worst storyline ever thought of.  They’re so proud of this awful storyline that they’re forcing us to watch it again now.  Later there’s going to be a tag match.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Raw Rebound.

TLC hype.

Michelle McCool and Layla are next.  Ugh.  Commercials.

They show the crap from Raw where LayCool attacked Natalya after her match with Melina.

Non-Title: Layla (w/ Michelle McCool) vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya (w/ Beth Phoenix).  They actually do a really good exchange to start.  Layla is actually a damn fine lady wrestler.  Natalya hits the stalling suplex for 2.  Layla bails.  Natalya pursues and shoves McCool.  Layla gets back in the ring and dropkicks Natalya through the ropes.  Phoenix frightens McCool away from interfering.  Back inside, Natalya eats a boot to the face.  Double clothesline spot.  Layla throws a dropkick, but Natalya catches her and locks in the Sharpshooter.  McCool grabs her hands and gets pulled into the ring.  Phoenix pulls her out.  Layla submits in 1:59.  Better divas match than usual until it turned to the usual LayCool bullshit.

Edge & Mysterio vs. Kane & Del Rio is next.  Commercials.

Rey Mysterio and Edge come out for the main event.  Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Alberto Del Rio.  Kane doesn’t come out.  Teddy Long comes out and changes it to a handicap match.

Handicap Match: Edge & Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Alberto Del Rio.  Mysterio throws leg kicks at Del Rio, then hits a leg drop for 2.  Edge and Mysterio double team Del Rio.  Del Rio beats up Edge a bit.  Edge hits a flapjack.  Mysterio tags back in.  They hit another double team for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619.  Del Rio bails, but gets kicked anyway.  Kane comes out.  He and Edge brawl in the aisle.  Edge runs away.  Kane chases him.  Del Rio jumps Mysterio from behind and puts the boots to him.  Del Rio hits a gut busters for 2.  Del Rio applies a body scissors.  Mysterio escapes and ends up on the apron.  Del Rio knocks him to the floor with an enzuigiri.  Del Rio beats up Mysterio on the outside.  Back inside, Del Rio goes for a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits the seated senton.  Mysterio hits the flipping bulldog for 2.  Del Rio hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip and hits a seated senton.  Mysterio hits the 619 and a diving splash for the pin in 7:08.  Now pay to see them in another singles match on the PPV!

Edge has Paul Bearer in mortal peril again.  Kane assumes it’s another dummy and pushes the ladders over.  It was the real Paul Bearer, who is now dead.  I pray to God that’s the end of this shit.

Horrible show.  I dread this shit more than I do Impact lately.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 12/3/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  Tonight, Edge vs. Kane!  The winner picks the stipulations for the PPV title match!  Smackdown open.  We are TAPED from Norfolk, Virginia!  There are tables, ladders, and chairs at ringside!  Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.

Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out to cut a promo amongst all the plunder.  They show Alberto Del Rio costing Mysterio his King of the Ring Qualifying Match against Cody Rhodes last week and Mysterio returning the favor by costing Del Rio his tournament match against John Morrison on Raw.  Alberto Del Rio comes out to talk shit to him.  Mysterio climbs a ladder.  They talk at each other.  Del Rio climbs the other side of the ladder and calls him a chihuahua.  Mysterio says they’ll meet at TLC.  Del Rio says no, because he’s a pussy.  Mysterio punches him off the ladder.  Del Rio pushes the ladder over and beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio monkey flips Del Rio out of the ring and gives him a leg drop through a table.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Earlier today, WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero walked around backstage.  They encountered Kaitlyn, who is now on Smackdown.  Vickie is mad, but Ziggler congratulates her on winning NXT.

Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) & Drew McIntyre vs. Montel Vontavious Porter & Kaval.  MVP and McIntyre lock up.  MVP hits a shoulder block and a knee (maybe) drop for 1.  Kaval tags in.  MVP lifts him up to McIntyre a boot for 2.  McIntyre throws Kaval down, then misses a leg drop.  MVP tags in and hits a sliding Yakuza kick for 2.  McIntyre catches MVP with a kick to the gut.  Ziggle tags in.  MVP beats him up, then decks McIntyre off the apron and throws Ziggler out onto him.  Kaval uses MVP as a step and takes out Ziggler and McIntyre with a dive.  Commercials.  Ziggler beats up MVP.  MVP rallies and hits the Ballin’ elbow.  McIntyre distracts MVP, allowing Ziggler to take out his knee.  McIntyre and Ziggler get the heat on MVP, working the injured leg.  Kaval gets the hot tag and runs wild on Ziggler.  Kaval hits a springboad flying knee.  Cover, but McIntyre saves.  MVP goes after McIntyre and gets sent face first into the announce table.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Kaval counters a suplex and locks in a Dragon sleeper.  Vickie distracts the referee.  McIntyre breaks the hold.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin in 11:23.  Fine little match.  That’s MVP’s last hurrah in WWE.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane comes out and chokeslams MVP.  THAT is MVP’s last hurrah in WWE.  Kane Tombstones Kaval.  Kane says the show won’t continue until Edge returns his father.  Edge appears on the big screen.  More of this bullshit.  Ugh.  Paul Bearer is still bound and gagged.  He invites Kane to come retrieve Paul from the loading dock.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Norfolk!

Raw Rebound.

Kane searches the loading dock for Paul Bearer.  Something big and heavy falls out of a truck and crushes another mannequin Paul Bearer.  ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT.  Smackdown has been worse than TNA lately.  Kane sees Edge wheeling the real Paul Bearer away.  This shit is fucking horrible.  Commercials.

Tonight, Edge vs. Kane, just to make sure we give away every match that we expect to draw on the PPV!

WWE Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger does amateur stuff.  Kofi gets the ropes.  They stare at each other.  Kofi tries to lock up in the corner, but the referee won’t allow it.  They lock up properly and work the lock up.  Kofi hits a monkey flip.  They lock up again.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock, but Kofi breaks free.  Swagger avoids the Trouble In Paradise.  Swagger works over Kofi.  Kofi fights back and hits a running dropkick for 2.  Swagger sends Kofi to the apron.  Kofi kicks him and goes up top.  Swagger meets him and throws him off the top rope.  Cover gets 2.  Kofi rolls outside.  Commercials.  Swagger works Kofi over and applies that double arm hook deal.  Swagger takes out Kofi’s leg twice.  Cover gets 2.  Weird.  Swagger beats up Kofi.  He works the arm again instead of working the leg, which would actually help when he goes for his finish.  I thought Swagger was supposed to be smart.  Swagger applies an abdominal stretch.  Swagger does a gator roll and pulls Kofi against the ropes.  I don’t get it.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock, but Kofi kicks him away and hits a rolling kick thingamafucker to knock Swagger down.  Swagger tries to push Kofi into the steps, but Kofi leapfrogs them.  Kofi hits a diving chop off the steps.  Grisham calls it a Superman punch because he’s mentally retarded.  He’s probably retarded enough to be an MMA judge.  They barely beat the count back into the ring.  Kofi beats up Swagger.  Kofi hits the S.O.S. for 2.  Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb, fails, but lands a big boot for 2.  Swagger throws Kofi across the ring and goes for the Vader Bomb, but Kofi trips him.  Kofi hits corner punches.  Swagger throws him away.  Kofi hits something from the corner, then hits a diving cross body for 2.  Swagger ducks the Trouble In Paradise.  Kofi tries again.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock.  Kofi blocks it and falls out of the ring.  Kofi hits a Trouble In Paradise from the outside through the ropes and gets the pin in 15:49.  I hated this.  I like both guys.  I think both are good wrestlers, and they have good matches against other people.  In spite of this, and in spite of the fact that they wrestle each other for more than 10 minutes often on TV, none of their matches are any good.

Kane looks for Paul Bearer in the concession area.  Another fake Paul Bearer falls down the stairs.  Edge runs away with the real Bearer again.  This shit is so fucking awful.  Commercials.

Chris Masters vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  Rhodes attacks, then flinches when Masters tries to throw a punch.  Masters locks in the Master Lock against the ropes.  Rhodes pulls the back of Masters into the ropes.  Rhodes hits a side Russian leg sweep and does a great transition into the cover for 2.  Rhodes applies a camel clutch.  Rhodes works Masters’ arm.  Masters make his comeback.  Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disasters followed by the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 2:56.  Not bad.

Tonight, Edge vs. Kane.  That WILL be bad.  Commercials.

Video package of the extremely horrible Kane/Edge feud that they’re so proud of.

Rosa Mendez vs. Layla (w/ Michelle McCool).  Layla mocks Rosa by pretending to jump rope.  Rosa attacks her.  Layla attacks back.  Rosa fights back.  McCool distracts everyone.  Rosa shoves Layla into her, then gets a schoolgirl for 2.  Fucking ugh.  Layla hits the neckbreaker for the pin in 1:04.  Ugh.  LayCool attack Rosa after the match.  Hornswoggle makes the save.  They get on their knees to fight Hornswoggle, then horse ass around.  Beth Phoenix comes out and kicks their asses.  Much stupidity in this segment.  The Swagger Soaring Eagle comes out to fight Hornswoggle.  Hornswoggle shakes the ropes and gets booted in the face.  Beth gives the eagle the Glam Slam.  Hornswoggle hits a tadpole splash on the eagle.  Yes, much stupidity in this segment.

Speaking of stupidity, Edge vs. Kane tonight.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Raw Rebound.  Different one from earlier.

The main event is next.  Commercials.

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Kane vs. Edge.  Edge bails.  Kane follows.  Edge hits a baseball slide dropkick.  Edge dives off the apron.  Kane catches him and rams him into the apron.  Back inside, Kane beats up Edge.  Edge beats up Kane.  They fight outside.  They fight inside.  Kane hits a basement kick for 2.  Kane hits some elbow drops.  Shit happens.  Edge low bridges Kane out of the ring, then spears him off the apron.  Commercials.  Thank God.  Can we just stay on commercials until the finish?  Kane crotches Edge on the top rope and goes for a superplex.  Edge fights him off and dives.  Kane catches him with a punch for 2.  Kane beats up Edge some more.  They go outside.  Edge sends Kane into the steps, then hits a clothesline off the steps.  Kane goes for a chokeslam with Edge on the apron, but Edge pulls his arm down across the top rope.  Edge hits a diving lariat for 2.  Edge hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane hits a diving lariat.  Kane goes for the chokeslam.  Edge counters and hits the Edgecution for 2.  Edge goes for the spear, but Kane clotheslines him.  Kane signals for the chokeslam.  Paul Bearer appears on the screen and screams for Kane to come find him.  Kane goes outside and barely beats the count back in.  Edge spears him for the pin in 13:21.  Awful.  Edge says the PPV match will be Tables, Ladders, & Chairs, to the surprise of absolutely no one.  Edge says he’ll give Paul Bearer back now.  Edge brings out a fake Paul Bearer in the wheelchair and leaves.  Kane beats up the fake.  The real Paul Bearer appears on the screen.  He’s on a flat bed truck.  Kane goes backstage to get him, but Edge drives away.  This is the worst fucking storyline ever.

Fucking horrible show.  Whoever came up with this storyline should be set on fire.

WWE Survivor Series 2010

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, PPV open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Justin Roberts and Tony Chimel are the ring announcers.

WWE United States Championship Match: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Ted Dibiase Jr. (w/ Maryse).  They show Dibiase attacking Bryan on Raw last week.  Dibiase’s music is so freaking horrible.  They lock up and trade arm locks.  Danielson awesomely lands a dropkick.  The lights go down for a second.  Bryan lands a running kick.  Dibiase goes to the apron and suplexes Bryan to the floor.  You don’t see that actually work very often.  Dibiase throws Bryan back inside and lands some clubbing blows on the apron.  Dibiase hits a diving elbow to the apron and knocks Bryan back to the floor.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Bryan fires some European uppercuts.  Dibiase takes him down and pounds on him.  Cover gets 2.  Dibiase applies a rear chin lock.  Dibiase hits a backbreaker and a dropkick for 2.  Dibiase reapplies his rear chin lock.  Danielson escapes and dropkicks Dibiase in the corner.  Danielson lands some kicks and makes his comeback.  He telegraphs a back body drop and gets kicked in the face.  Danielson sends Dibiase outside and hits a tope suicida.  He didn’t land just right and injures his shoulder.  Back inside, Danielson hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Danielson kicks the crap out of Dibiase.  Dibiase catches his leg.  Danielson gets an inside cradle for 2.  Danielson goes for the LeBell Lock.  Dibiase avoids it and hits a lariat for 2.  Dibiase is pissed.  He goes for the Dream Street, but Danielson blocks it and does the Hart/Piper pin from the corner for 2.  Dibiase hits a spinebuster for 2.  Dibiase goes for a superplex, but Danielson slides under him and crotches him on the top rope.  Danielson hits a backdrop suplex off the top rope!  Danielson has hurt the injured shoulder.  He manages to cover for 2.  Danielson goes for the LeBell Lock, but Dibiase counters and catapults Bryan into the turnbuckles, then gets a schoolboy for 2.  Danielson locks in the LeBell Lock for the submission in 9:57.  REALLY good match.

The Miz and Alex Riley appear as Danielson is leaving.  Miz Pearl Harbors Bryan with the briefcase.  They go to the ring so Miz can cut a promo.  The lights go down again.  Miz gets heat by insulting the local sports team and talks about cashing in the briefcase.

Miami!

They show Sheamus attacking Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella on Raw, only to be attacked himself by John Morrison.  Later, Sheamus Pearl Harbor’d Morrison backstage with the pump kick.

Josh Matthews interviews Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison.  They lock up.  Sheamus backs Morrison into the corner and slaps him.  They brawl.  Morrison hits a flying head scissors, dropkicks Morrison out of the ring, and hits him with a cool spinning dive.  They fight outside.  Sheamus lands the Polish Hammer and throws Morrison back inside to cover for 2.  Sheamus lands some knee drops to the head.  Cover gets 2.  Sheamus applies a rear chin lock.  Sheamus beats on Morrison some more.  Sheamus hits a reverse DDT backbreaker for 2, then applies an arm lock.  Sheamus keeps the heat on Morrison.  Sheamus tries to set up a superplex.  Morrison fights him off and hits a diving cross body.  Sheamus rolls through and hits a British Bulldog powerslam for 2.  Morrison avoids the pump kick and hits an enzuigiri.  They trade punches.  Morrison gets the better of it and makes his comeback.  Morrison lands a kick for 2.  Sheamus hits the uranage backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge.  Morrison counters and catapults Sheamus into the corner.  2 matches in a row with that spot.  Morrison hits a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Sheamus sends Morrison into the corner, then chop blocks his knee.  Sheamus works Morrison’s knee.  He gets a 2 count and argues with the referee.  Sheamus applies a half crab.  Morrison gets a sunset flip for 2.  Sheamus takes Morrison’s knee out again.  Sheamus slaps Morrison.  Morrison drops him with a kick.  Morrison goes for the Starship Pain, but Sheamus cuts him off.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge out of the corner.  Morrison counters. ducks the pump kick, and and hits the Flying Chuck.  Morrison hits a running knee strike for the pin in 11:12.  This was a good match, fella.

Knucklehead trailer.

John Cena is in his locker room.  R-Truth comes in.  They bicker.  Truth offers to interfere in the match and attack Randy Orton to help Barrett win, which would mean Cena could keep his job “guilt free.”  Cena couldn’t live with that, so he’s going to call it down the middle.  Truth says he’ll believe it when he sees it.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kaval.  They show Kaval beating Ziggler in a non-title match on Smackdown.  Vickie obnoxiously introduces Ziggler.  Ziggler wins the lock up, but fails at cheap shotting.  Kaval lands a running kick.  Ziggler hits a snapmare and the Perfect neck snap for 1.  Ziggler hits a fireman carry for like 1.  Kaval gets a cradle for 2.  Ziggler yells at Kaval that he doesn’t deserve this.  Kaval hits the handspring cross body for I think 2.  Jack Doane seems to be off his game tonight.  So does Kaval.  Kaval hits corner punches.  Ziggler takes him down after a distraction from Vickie.  Ziggler applies a rear chin lock.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler reapplies his rear chin lock.  Kaval fights out and makes his comeback.  Kaval hits a springboard moonsault body block for 2.  Kaval hits a handspring face kick for 2.  That looked like it connected flush.  Kaval goes up top.  Ziggler cuts him off and locks in the sleeper hold on top.  Kaval fights him off and goes for the Phoenix Splash!  Ziggler avoids it.  Ki gets a backslide for 2.  Ziggler hits the Fameaser for 2.  Idiot Cole calls it the Zig Zag again.  Thankfully Striker is there to call him on it this time.  Ziggler goes for the sleeper hold.  Kaval rolls out.  Ziggler elevates Kaval to the top.  Kaval hits a rebound kick for 2.  Ziggler beats up Kaval.  Kaval gets a schoolboy for 2.  Ziggler gets an inside cradle for 2.  Kaval goes for a front cradle, but Ziggler rolls through and gets the pin for 9:35.  This was pretty good, but I’m certain they could do better.  Kaval seemed slightly off tonight.

Miami!

Survivor Series song!

Todd Grisham interviews Jack Swagger, who is mad that he’s not the team captain.  Cody Rhodes shows up to make fun of Swagger’s shoes.  Swagger says they were his grandfather’s.  Alberto Del Rio, Drew McIntyre, and Tyler Reks show up.  Del Rio disses Rhodes, then talks about destroying Rey Mysterio.  Del Rio says he’s the captain and he’ll buy the beer after they win.  Rhodes says Del Rio is good.

Survivor Series Elimination Match: The Big Show, Chris Masters, Kofi Kingston, Montel Vontavious Porter, & Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, Tyler Reks, & Alberto Del Rio.  MVP gets a big reaction in his hometown.  Del Rio is introduced by his personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez.  I like how Mysterio’s team are all wearing blue.  Mysterio and Del Rio start.  Del Rio stalls and tags in Rhodes before any contact is made.  Mysterio and Rhodes go at it and have a nice little exchange.  Rhodes hits hit springboard kick for 2.  Del Rio tags in and beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio rallies and tags in MVP.  MVP hits a Sliding Yakuza kick for 2.  MVP ducks an enzuigiri and hits a Yakuza kick in the corner for 2.  Kofi tags to continue working over Del Rio.  Masters quickly tags in to get in on the fun.  Del Rio gets the better of Masters and tags in Reks.  Reks beats up Masters.  McIntyre tags in and beats up Masters.  McIntyre comes off the top, but Masters catches him with raised boots.  MVP tags in and runs wild on McIntyre.  MVP hits his crappy Exploder and the Ballin’ elbow, then decks Del Rio.  MVP tries to suplex McIntyre in from the apron, but Del Rio trips MVP and holds his feet down, allowing McIntyre to get the pin in 5:35.  Sucks to be in your hometown.  Masters hits a Jackhammer on Del Rio for 2.  He goes for the Master Lock, but Del Rio counters and hits an arm breaker.  Del Rio gets the Minoru Special for the submission in 6:44.  Show comes in to a big pop.  Del Rio tags in Swagger.  Swagger tries to take Show down, but fails miserably.  Swagger finally manages to take out Show’s leg.  Del Rio tags in and slaps Show’s head.  That just pisses Show off.  Del Rio tries to tag out.  McIntyre wants none of that.  Del Rio slaps him to tag him in.  Show kills Del Rio with the KO punch, then brings in McIntyre and destroys him.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock, but but fails.  Show clotheslines McIntyre.  Kofi tags him.  Show slaps Kofi onto McIntyre.  Kofi covers for 2.  Del Rio is being carried out.  Rhodes tags in and works Kofi over.  Kofi punches Rhodes in the face.  Rhodes throws a tantrum and bails to look in his jacket mirror.  Rhodes comes back in and gets hit in the face again.  Show tags in and palms Rhodes’ face.  He goes for the KO punch, but Rhodes flinches.  Show clubs his back, then nails him with the KO punch for the pin in 10:58.  Reks and Swagger beat up Show.  Swagger works Show’s leg.  Show goes for the chokeslam, but Swagger rolls through and locks in the ankle lock.  Show makes the tag to Mysterio, who runs wild on Swagger.  Springboard cross body gets 2.  Swagger boots Mysterio in the face for 2.  Swagger takes a cheap shot at Kofi on the apron.  Kofi drop toe holds Swagger into 619 position.  Mysterio goes for it, but Swagger catches him and locks in the ankle lock.  Mysterio spines out and goes for the 619, but Reks blind tags in.  Mysterio evades Reks and tags in Kofi.  Cole gets in his “controlled frenzy” line.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick and the diving cross body for 2.  Reks ties Kofi to the tree of woe and stomps on him.  Kofi lands some sort of kick on Reks for the pin in 15:09.  Swagger goes for the ankle lock on Kofi.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  Swagger counters the S.O.S.  Kofi counters the Doctor Bomb.  Swagger catches the Trouble In Paradise and locks in the ankle lock for the submission in 15:56.  Show beats up Swagger.  Mysterio tags in and goes for the diving splash off of Show’s shoulders.  McIntyre prevents it.  Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on Mysterio for 2.  Swagger goes for a superplex.  Mysterio fights him off and hits a diving Frankensteiner into the 619.  Mysterio hits the diving splash off of Show’s shoulders for the pin in 17:34.  McIntyre goes for the Future Shock on Mysterio.  Mysterio counters, tags Show, and hits the 619.  Show chokeslams McIntyre for the pin to win it in 18:12.  Really fun match.  Dear idiot Chimel: They’re not SOLE survivors if there are TWO of them.  Love, Chui.

TLC hype!

WWE Champion Randy Orton is thinking in his locker room.  Josh Matthews comes in to interview him.  Orton is sick of talking about John Cena.  He’s ready to deal with this shit and be done with it.

Handicap Match for the WWE Divas Championship: Michelle McCool & Layla (c) vs. Natalya.  They’ve stopped calling it the Unified championship.  McCool and Natalya start.  McCool is especially bitchy tonight.  They actually have a decent exchange.  Layla tags in and continues to work over Natalya.  McCool takes Natalya outside.  Layla beats up Natalya outside.  Back inside, LayCool go for a double suplex, but Natalya suplexes both of them.  They end up back outside.  McCool beats up Natalya.  McCool misses a running knee. Natala sends her over the barricade, then sends Layla into her.  McCool and Natalya end up back inside.  LayCool conk heads.  Natalya locks McCool in the Sharpshooter for the submission to win the title in 3:36.  Yay!  Natalya is overjoyed.  Until LayCool jump her from behind.  BETH PHOENIX runs in to make the save.  Beth kicks ass, gives Layla the Glam Slam, and hugs Natalya.  Beth lifts Natalya up on her shoulders to celebrate the title win.

Paper Jamz commercial featuring The Miz.

Edge/Kane hype video.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Kane (c) vs. Edge.  Edge brings out an empty wheelchair.  No Paul Bearer.  Edge slaps Kane.  They brawl.  Kane catches Edge coming off the top and goes for the chokeslam.  Edge avoids it and lands a spin kick for 2.  They do some convoluted run around shit and brawl outside.  They brawl in the ring.  Edge raps Kane’s leg around the post and goes to work on the leg.  Edge goes for the Edgecution.  Kane counters by sending him to the apron, then booting him to the floor.  Kane asks where his father is and beats on Edge.  Kane hits the basement dropkick for 2.  This is so boring.  Edge fights out of a headlock and hits a diving cross body for 2.  Edge counters the diving lariat with a dropkick.  Remember when that was a mind blowing spot in 1995?  Edge fails to knock Kane down with clotheslines.  He cross bodys(?) Kane’s back against the ropes for 2.  I don’t get spots like that.  Edge comes off the top.  Kane catches him with a punch for 2.  Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for 2.  Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Kane goes up top.  Edge cuts him off, but gets crotched on the top rope.  Kane hits the diving lariat for 2.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Edge counters and hits the Edgecution.  Edge goes for the spear, but Kane boots him in the face.  Kane hits the chokeslam for 2.  Why won’t this match end?  Kane goes for the Tombstone.  Edge slips out and hits the spear.  Instead of pinning Kane, Edge just lies there, so it’s a double pin in 12:49.  Edge’s music plays and Chimel is announced as the new champion, but the referee corrects him.  Kane attacks Edge.  Edge ramps Kane into the post, then puts him in the wheelchair and rams him through the barricade.  This whole mess was garbage.  A stupid storyline, a shitty match, and a fuck finish.  That’s the trifecta.

WrestleMania XXVII!

John Cena is still in his locker room.  Wade Barrett comes in and mentions that this was the site of the original Nexus attack on Cena.  They have a nice chat about old times and times to come.  Cena says he knows exactly what he’s doing.

Miami.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) of the Nexus (w/ David Otunga, Michael McGillcutty, & Husky Harris) vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Slater fucks around.  Santino gives him a judo throw.  Gabriel tags in, throws some kicks, and gets taken down with a headlock.  Kozlov tags in and beats up Gabriel.  Gabriel takes out Kozlov’s leg.  Kozlov hits Gabriel with a battering ram headbutt.  Gabriel pulls Kozlov’s head across the top rope, then hits a neckbreaker.  Nexus get the heat on Kozlov.  This is boring, but the crowds are into it.  Slater cheap shots Santino, prompting Santino to distract the referee so Nexus can double team him.  Kozlov nails Slater with a lariat and makes the hot tag to Santino.  Santino runs wild.  He hits the falling headbutt on Slater.  Gabriel saves.  Kozlov takes out Gabriel.  Santino goes for the Cobra.  Otunga and McGillicutty distract Santino.  Slater hits Santino with his necktie move for the pin in 5:11.  Lame.  Boring.  Next?  Ugh.  Nexus beat up Kozlov and Santino.  The iBooker 9000 dings in and, via obnoxious Cole, reminds Nexus that they are banned from ringside during the main event.

Orton/Barrett/Cena hype video.  Mostly about Cena.

WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. Wade Barrett.  John Cena is the referee.  If Barrett wins the title, Cena is free from Nexus.  If Barrett doesn’t win, Cena is fired.  They lock up like two bulls locking horns.  Orton backs Barrett into the corner and breaks.  Orton hits a shoulder block.  Orton takes Barrett down with a side headlock.  Usually that sequence goes in the opposite order.  They take turns beating each other up.  Cena calls it right down the middle and enforces the rules, alternately distracting both participants and allowing the opponent to get the advantage.  They brawl outside.  Barrett whips Orton into the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  They go back and forth.  Barrett hits a knee lift and a basement kick for 2.  Barrett applies a rear chin lock.  Orton escapes.  They brawl.  Orton gets the better of it and clotheslines Barrett out of the ring.  Barrett sends Orton into the post.  Orton catches Barrett coming back in.  Barrett gouges Orton’s eyes.  Orton hits the 3.0 for 2.  Barrett lands a boot and a clothesline.  Barrett hits a diving elbow drop for 2.  Barrett argues with Cena.  Barrett hits a pumphandle slam for 2.  Barrett hits a sidewalk slam for 2.  Barrett is starting to get pissed.  He argues with Cena about the count again.  Orton hits the DDT OF MURDER and humps the mat.  Barrett bails.  Orton clotheslines Barrett on the outside.  Barrett cuts Orton off coming back inside and hits the Wasteland.  Orton grabs the bottom rope to break the count at 2.  Barrett is really pissed now.  Barrett shoves Cena.  Cena shoves Barrett into the RKO and counts the pin for Orton in 15:16.  Slow, boring match.  Striker immediately yells “CENA’S FREE!”  Cole corrects him and says that Cena is fired.  Cena is the dumbest babyface ever.  Nexus run in.  Cena and Orton clean house.  Cena presents Orton with the belt and they hug, despite never being friends.  Orton leaves.  Cena takes off his various armbands.  He hugs Michael Cole of all people, then the sign guy and some other guy, then goes out into the crowd, then leaves.

This show was really good for the first half, then fell off a cliff.  Cena proved himself to be the dumbest babyface this side of Sting, but I guess it doesn’t matter since nobody believes retirement stipulations.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 11/19/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video package of shit that went down last week, Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who introduces Alberto Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio cuts a promo about Survivor Series.  They show Del Rio beating Sergeant Slaughter on Monday’s Raw.  MVP comes out to his horrible entrance music and cuts a promo on Del Rio about having respect for legends.  Del Rio says MVP will never be a legend, but Del Rio already is one.  Them’s fightin’ words to MVP, but Del Rio bitches down because he has a match with Mysterio tonight, but says MVP couldn’t handle him anyway.  He books MVP vs. Drew McIntyre, so apparently Del Rio has booking power now.

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Drew McIntyre.  They brawl.  MVP hits a crappy belly to belly suplex.  McIntyre bails.  MVP follows.  McIntyre reverses MVP into the barricade.  MVP hot shots McIntyre into the barricade, then throws him back in the ring.  Commercials.  Less than a minute into the match.  MVP front suplexes McIntyre into the ropes.  McIntyre bails and tries to hide under the ring.  MVP goes after him.  McIntyre pulls MVP’s arm into the metal part of the ring, then rams his arm into the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  McIntyre works MVP’s arm.  MVP makes his comeback and hits a misplaced Yakuza kick for 2.  MVP hits his weak Exploder, then the Ballin’ elbow.  McIntyre boots MVP in the bad arm and hits a neckbreaker for 2.  McIntyre beats up MVP in the corner.  The referee separates them.  MVP hits the Shining Yakuza kick for the pin in 7:28.  It was fine.  His music is still awful.

Edge is backstage ranting about Kane to Paul Bearer, who is still bound and gagged.  How did Edge get him all the way from England to Virginia?  Edge pulls the tape off of Bearer’s mouth.  Bearer screams for Kane.  Edge says nobody knows where they are.  Except for, you know, the camera guy.  Edge wants to race wheel chairs.  Bearer refuses to participate.  This is retarded.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. complains to Teddy Long in the office.  Kane storms in.  Chavo leaves.  Kane sits down and asks where Paul Bearer is.  Teddy doesn’t know.  Kane doesn’t believe him, so he screams a lot and wrecks Teddy’s office.

Survivor Series Showdown Match: Chris Masters vs. Jack Swagger.  They lock up.  Swagger takes Masters down.  Masters punches Swagger in the face.  Swagger rams Masters into the corner, then hits the springboard Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger applies an abdominal stretch.  Masters hip tosses his way free, hits a Samoan drop, and gets rolling.  Masters hits a diving shoulder block for 2.  Swagger kicks Masters in the knee.  Masters goes for the Master Lock.  Swagger steps over the ropes to the apron to break it.  Neat!  Swagger rams Masters’ ankle into the post.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:58.  Fine.

Edge talks to Paul Bearer some more, then throws a ball at him.  This is TNA levels of stupid.  Commercials.

Moments ago, that ^ retarded shit happened.

Kaval is in the ring for a match against Dolph Ziggler.  They show Ziggler beating Mark Henry on Raw.  Ziggler comes out, cuts a promo, and insults Kaval, calling him a “nobody.”

Non-Title: Kaval vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero).  Ziggler beats up Kaval.  Cole goes on his usual tirade about the internet.  Kaval sends Ziggler’s shoulder into the post.  Kaval gets rolling and hits a handspring cross body for 2.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag.  Kaval holds onto the ropes to avoid it.  They trade cradles.  Kaval rolls through one and gets the pin in 1:57.  Kaval finally won a match!  He looks as shocked at winning as Ziggler does at losing.  Kaval celebrates, then says that he’s taking his PPV title shot (that he got for winning NXT) to face Ziggler for the Intercontinental title at Survivor Series.

Tonight, Del Rio vs. Mysterio!  Next, Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Edge pushes Paul Bearer around in the wheelchair.  This shit is so fucking stupid.

Survivor Series Showdown Match: Kofi Kingston vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.  They lock up.  Rhodes hides in the ropes, then cheap shots Kofi.  Kofi hits Rhodes in the face.  Rhodes bails and throws a fit, then looks at himself in the mirror on his ring jacket.  Commercials.  Less than a minute into the match.  Rhodes beats up Kingston.  He’s good and pissed off.  Kofi takes Rhodes down with a headlock.  Kofi hits a monkey flip.  Rhodes bails again.  Kofi hits a baseball slide dropkick and throws Rhodes back into the ring.  Rhodes hits a couple of front suplexes and a knee drop for 2.  Rhodes pulls Kofi’s middle into the ring post.  Cover gets 2.  They brawl a bit.  Kofi gets the better of it and beats Rhodes down in the corner.  The referee makes his break.  Kofi gets rolling.  Kofi hits the pendulum kick in the corner, then a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop, then goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Rhodes easily avoids it and misses his slingshot kick.  Kofi gets a cradle for 2.  Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the pin in 10:19.  This didn’t do anything for me.

Kane rants at Rosa Mendez backstage.  Random.

Tonight, Del Rio vs. Mysterio!  Commercials.

Smack of the Night: Tthose “little bitches” LayCool talking shit to Mae Young on Raw.

WWE Divas Champions Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Natalya & Kelly Kelly.  The title is no longer being referred to as “Unified.”  Layla and Kelly lock up.  Kelly hits a Thesz press and rams Layla’s head into the mat.  I fucking hate that shit.  Natalya tags in and Irish whips Layla.  McCool tags in.  Natalya hits a wheelbarrow German on McCool for 2.  Natalya gets a reverse cradle just after Layla blind tags in.  LayCool hit a double big boot.  Layla pins Natalya in 1:12.  That was… flat.  This was pointless.  I guess LayCool had to get their heat back after losing to an 87 year old woman on Raw.

Edge has pizza, bread sticks, and wings.  He abuses Paul Bearer with a bread stick, pours marinara sauce on him, shoves a brownie into his ear, throws hot wings on him, and hits him in the head with a pizza.  I’m starting to hate wrestling again.  Edge says it’s time to go see Kane and wheels Bearer away.

The Big Show is headed our way!  Commercials!

Kane is sulking somewhere outside.  He breaths like he’s about to ejaculate, then gets up and yells, then sits down and cries.

Survivor Series Showdown Match: The Big Show vs. Tyler Reks.  Reks tries.  You have to give the guy credit.  Show grabs him by the throat.  Reks fights out and drops Show with a lariat for 2.  Reks goes for a kick, but Show catches his foot.  Show makes his comeback and hits the chokeslam for the pin in 1:19.  Lots of really short matches tonight.

Josh Matthews interviews Alberto Del Rio.

Update: Mean Gene Okerlund plugs merchandise!  Commercials.

John Cena video package.

Survivor Series hype.

Edge and Paul Bearer has arrived to the arena.  They both call for Kane.  Edge goes to put Paul back in the van.  Ugh.

Kane has heard Paul Bearer’s cry.  He walks past Caylen Croft and some geek with a tattoo on the side of his neck.  That ends up being Croft’s last hurrah in WWE.  Kane finds Paul in the van.  Edge jumps off the top of the van, beats Kane up, then leaves to throw Paul Bearer into the river or something.  This shit is awful.  Commercials.  Commercials.

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Tony Chimel introduces Ricardo Rodriguez (again) to introduce Alberto Del Rio (again).

Survivor Series Showdown Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Del Rio wins the lock up and the cheap shot.  Del Rio beats up Mysterio.  Mysterio fights back.  Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Del Rio in the head for 2.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Del Rio bails.  Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, and Tyler Reks run in and attack Mysterio to cause the DQ in 1:51.  Kofi Kingston, Chris Masters, MVP, and The Big Show make the save.  Teddy Long comes out and orders a 10-man Battle Royal NEXT!  Commercials.

Survivor Series Showdown Battle Royal featuring Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, “Dashing” Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, Tyler Reks, Rey Mysterio Jr., The Big Show, Kofi Kingston, Chris Masters, and Montel Vontavious Porter.  Everybody brawls for a long time.  Masters eliminates Rhodes.  Kofi and Masters try to eliminate Reks, but fail.  Mysterio fails to eliminate Del Rio.  Reks eliminates Masters.  More brawling.  Kofi eliminates Reks.  Mysterio fails to eliminate McIntyre.  MVP drops a knee on Del Rio’s face.  McIntyre eliminates Kingston.  Del Rio dumps MVP.  Show tosses McIntyre.  Mysterio eliminates Del Rio with a head scissors.  Mysterio hits Swagger with the Bombs Away.  Swagger locks him in the ankle lock.  Mysterio counters out.  Show kicks Swagger.  Mysterio hits the 619.  Show eliminates Swagger.  Show and Mysterio win in 5:17.

Pretty lame Smackdown this week.  Let’s hope Survivor Series is better.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown! 11/12/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, video from Raw of Wade Barrett bitching at David Otunga and ordering him to invade Smackdown again and face Edge.  If he loses, he’s out of Nexus.  Smackdown open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, and Matt Striker are the announcers.  Tonight, David Otunga vs. Edge and Big Show vs. Kane!  Tony Chimel is the ring announcer.

Edge comes out to cut a promo.  He says he plans on going into WrestleMania next year as World Champion.  He goes on to say that he’ll send David Otunga to the unemployment line tonight.  The 5 less important members of The Nexus come out and surround Edge.  Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that Teddy Long was detained at customs, so she’s in charge.  She tells Otunga that he’ll lose if any Nexus members interfere get in the ring.  She hypes the matches we’ve already been informed of, adding that the Edge/Otunga match will be a Lumberjack Match.  She orders Edge and Otunga to shake hands “like British gentlemen.”  Edge refuses.  Vickie threatens to take his title shot away.  Edge shakes Otunga’s hand, then spears him off the apron onto Nexus.

Alberto Del Rio arrives in a fancy car.  Apparently he drives to the arena in his gear.  Grisham implies that he drove from Mexico.  I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a joke or not.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Manchester!

Ricardo Rodriguez came all the way to England just to introduce Alberto Del Rio!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston.  Del Rio wins the lock up and lightly pats Kofi’s kick.  Kofi kicks his ass in retaliation.  Kofi lands a dropkick for 2.  Del Rio boots Kofi in the face and hits a clothesline.  Del Rio works over Kofi.  Kofi leapfrogs Del Rio twice and hits an elbow smash.  Kofi lands corner punches and a European uppercut.  Del Rio bails.  He tries to dash back in, but Kofi dropkicks him and hits him with a tope suicida.  Kofi throws Del Rio back into the ring and covers for 2.  Del Rio backdrops Kofi to the apron and knocks him to the floor with an enzuigiri.  Commercials.  Del Rio works a rear chin lock, then throws Kofi to the mat for 2.  Del Rio beats up Kofi.  Kofi makes his comeback.  Kofi hits a diving cross body for 2.  Kofi hits a jumping chop that idiot Grisham always calls a Superman punch.  Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise.  Del Rio bails to avoid it.  Kofi goes after him like an idiot and gets his arm pulled into the post.  Back inside, Del Rio hits the Minoru Special for the submission win in 11:32.  Decent match.  Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out after the match and gives Del Rio the 619.

The 4 least important members of Nexus discuss the problems they’ve encountered tonight.  David Otunga comes in and pleas for help.  I assume they agree to have his back.  Sorry, I spaced.

Tonight, Big Show vs. Kane!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Non-Title: Natalya vs. Unified WWE Divas Champion Layla.  They actually do some chain wrestling.  Pimp.  Natalya hits a stalling suplex for 2.  Layla lands some kicks and drops Natalya on the apron.  Cover gets 2.  Layla rams Natalya’s face into the mat and applies a wonky head scissors.  Natalya stands up, rams Layla into the corner, and turns it into something of a backbreaker.  Natalya avoids a leg drop and hits a body slam and a discus lariat.  Natalya hits a butterfly suplex for 2.  Layla sends Natalya into the corner.  Natalya counters a kick and locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 3:27.  Fine.

World Heavyweight Champion Kane and Paul Bearer are in their weird, creepy area backstage.  Kane talks while weird, creepy music plays in the background.

Otunga vs. Edge in a Lumberjack Match NEXT!  Commercials!

Lumberjack Match: Edge vs. David Otunga (w/ WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater, Michael McGillicutty, & Husky Harris).  The lumberjacks are the aforementioned members of The Nexus, Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Drew McIntyre, Goldust, Finlay, WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler, Kaval, Tyson Kidd, Chris Masters, Primo, Tyler Reks, MVP, and Alberto Del Rio.  Yes, there’s at least 3 Raw guys out there besides Nexus.  The other lumberjacks chases Nexus to the stage.  Edge beats up Otunga and sends him outside.  The lumberjacks rough him up a bit and throw him back in.  Otunga realizes he has nowhere to bail to.  Commercials, less than a minute into the match.  Let’s hope there’s less than a minute left when they come back.  Edge throws Otunga outside to get beaten up again.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Edge gets sent outside.  Nobody attacks him until Del Rio trips him on the apron just to be a dick.  Edge’s face smacks the apron.  MVP and Del Rio argue.  Otunga works over Edge for a while, so there goes my interest for a bit.  Edge hits a backdrop suplex and makes his comeback.  Edge gets a schoolboy for 2.  Edge hits a flapjack, then hits Del Rio with a baseball slide dropkick.  That’s the cue for the lumberjacks to start brawling.  Edge hits the Edgecution and sets up for the spear.  Michael McGillicutty comes in and gets spear.  Kane comes in through the crowd and chokeslams Edge behind the referee’s back.  Otunga covers for the pin in 9:51 to keep his job.  Dammit.  Match was lame too.

Tonight, Show vs. Kane!  Next, Dolph Ziggler defends the Intercontinental Championship against MVP!  Commercials.

Last week, MVP beat Drew McIntyre and Cody Rhodes to earn an Intercontinental title shot!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  They lock up.  MVP gets a schoolboy for 1, then a jackknife hold for 1, then another schoolboy for 2.  MVP hits a press slam and a sliding Yakuza kick.  Ziggler falls out of the ring.  Commercials less than a minute in.  Ziggler stomps on MVP and lands an elbow drop for 2.  Ziggler applies a scissored rear chin lock.  MVP gets a schoolboy for 2.  He goes for the corner Yakuza kick, but Ziggler kicks him in the face and goes for the Flair pin.  MVP kicks out.  Ziggler hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Ziggler tries to remove a turnbuckle pad.  The referee goes to correct it.  MVP gets an inside cradle, but the referee doesn’t see it in time and Ziggler manages to kick out.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Ziggler goes back to the scissored chin lock.  MVP fights out, avoids Ziggler in the corner, and eats an elbow smash.  MVP catches Ziggler with a clothesline and makes his comeback.  Knee facebuster gets 2.  MVP hits the Ballin’ elbow and covers.  Ziggler gets his foot on the bottom rope.  MVP sets up a superplex.  Ziggler fights him off, dives, and eats a Yakuza kick.  Cover gets 2.  Ziggler kicks MVP in the leg and hits a half assed Zig Zag for the pin in 8:34.  Good match, much better than I expected.  Apparently MVP’s foot was on the bottom rope, but the referee didn’t see it.

Stand up for WWE!

Kane finds his weird backstage lair disrupted.  At least his creepy music is still playing.  He finds Paul Bearer’s urn on the ground.  Commercials.

“Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out to cut a promo about British oral hygiene.  They show one of his grooming tips videos where he talks about oral hygiene.

Kane runs around backstage looking for Paul Bearer and assaulting a random pedestrian.

Tale of the Tape for Kane vs. Big Show.  Commercials.

Manchester!

Knucklehead!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion Kane vs. The Big Show.  They brawl.  Show hits a shoulder block for 2.  Show beats up Kane.  Kane dropkicks Show’s knee.  Kane beats up Show.  Show drops him with an elbow and HITS A VADER BOMB for 2.  I’ve never seen Show hit that.  Kane recovers from being pancaked.  They goozle each other.  Show wins the goozle contest.  Kane fights out and hits a clothesline that sends them both out of the ring.  We are shown that Paul Bearer is bound and gagged in a wheelchair, watching the match backstage.  Commercials.  Show works Kane’s arm.  Kane comes back and pounds on Show.  Kane hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Kane applies a rear chin lock.  This is so boring.  It was fun before the commercial.  They should have given this 5 minutes instead of 10+.  Show lands a shoulder block that sends Kane out of the ring.  Kane pulls Show into the top rope to get the advantage, then goes up top.  Show tries to cut him off.  Kane knocks him down and hits the diving lariat for 2.  Kane applies his rear chin lock again.  Show hits a backdrop suplex to escape.  Show makes his comeback.  Kane hits the diving lariat again and signals for the chokeslam.  Edge comes out to the stage with Paul Bearer bound and gagged in the wheelchair.  Edge talks at Kane for a while.  Edge threatens to push Bearer off the stage.  Show chokeslams Kane for the pin in 14:35.  The latter two thirds of this match were horribly boring.  Edge takes Bearer to the back.

This show was pretty shitty aside from one really good match (MVP/Ziggler, which I had incredibly low expectations for).