Archive for Katie Lea Burchill

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/1/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our hosts LIVE from Oklahoma City!  Tonight, Bret Hart’s Farewell, plus Randy Orton vs. Ted Dibiase Jr.

Shawn Michaels comes out.  They show him screwing The Undertaker at Elimination Chamber and the making of their WrestleMania match last week.  Michaels says the guys in the locker room think he’s crazy for putting his career on the line.  He challenges anyone to come out and tell him he can’t win.  Triple H comes out.  Triple H says he “knows” Shawn can beat Undertaker at WrestleMania.  He says Shawn is the best he’s ever been in the ring with.  He says Shawn is Mr. WrestleMania, and though the Road To WrestleMania always takes them down different paths, but DX will never die.  He says he’s invoked their rematch clause for the tag titles tonight.  Shawn takes some convincing, but agrees.

The guest hosts, Cheech and Chong, admire their office.  The Bella Twins come in and slut up to them.  They take Cheech on a tour of the backstage while Chong sits down.  Hornswoggle comes in with a box of lucky charms with his face on them.  Chong eats some and starts tripping.  Phony shit ensues

Orton vs. Dibiase is NEXT!

Slam of the Week: The implosion of Legacy last week.

Randy Orton vs. Ted Dibiase Jr.  They start brawling.  Does nobody lock up anymore?  Orton avoids a superplex attempt.  Dibiase dropkicks him, then throws him out of the ring.  Orton fights back and Dibiase bails.  Commercials.  Dibiase puts the boots to Orton.  Dibiase KICKS ORTON IN THE HEAD for 2.  Dibiase kills Orton with a lariat for 2.  They trade blows.  Orton his a snap powerslam.  “VINTAGE ORTON!”  Garvin stomp by Orton.  Orton stalks Dibiase for the RKO.  Cody Rhodes runs out.  Orton swings at him.  Dibiase gets a reverse cradle for 2.  Orton reverses it for 2.  Rhodes runs in and Orton attacks him, so the ref throws it out in 9:02.  I guess Orton wins by DQ.  Rhodes and Dibiase try to do a number on Orton, but he fights them both off.  He tries to give Rhodes the DDT OF MURDER again, but Dibiase pulls him to safety.  Most of the match was commercials, but what aired was fine.

DX vs. Show Miz TONIGHT!

Bret Hart (w/ broken leg) has arrived!

Chong is giving Eve a massage.  He wants to book a Divas Pajama Pillow Fight.  Cheech says he’s having a sugar trip.  He was running his hands through William Regal’s hair.  He thinks Chris Masters is Kelly Kelly.  And Masters has a girl voice.  Hornswoggle tries to give them more cereal.  They both start tripping.  Fuck.

“Last Monday…” video of the John Cena/Batista happenings.  Tonight… CONFRONTATION!

WWE Rewind: Last week, Christian beat Carlito to qualify for Money In The Bank.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella.  Santino shines, then Swagger hits the Doctor Bomb for the pin in 27 seconds.

Batista (in his gay S&M outfit) is headed our way!

Undertaker/Shawn Michaels video package.

WWE bullshit fact of the week.

John Cena comes out.  He talks about Batista.  He calls out Batista.  Batista comes out.  The WWE Champion is such a tough guy that he’s flanked by security and is dressed like a gay biker.  Cena totally calls him on it.  Batista uses the bitch excuse that the security is there to protect Cena.  Batista says he wants to face Cena at WrestleMania, that’s why he gave him the shot last week.  He’s mad that Cena is WWE’s poster boy instead of him.  Cena talks about how he works hard and Batista shows up late and shit.  Batista says he’s just here to make money.  They go on.  Batista says deep down, Cena knows he can’t beat him.

Bret Hart’s Farewell is still to come!  Plus, DX vs. Show Miz!

WWE.com plug.

Cheech and Chong have forced Chavo Guerrero Jr. to wear a sombrero and a fake mustache.  Carlito, Primo, Katie Lea Burchill, and Yoshi Tatsu are wearing fake mustaches.  Santino Marella brings in a chicken.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Zack Ryder (w/ Rosa Mendez) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  Jobber entrance for Ryder.  Ryder starts with a kick to the gut.  Does nobody lock up anymore?  MVP kicks his ass and hits the Ballin’ elbow.  Playmaker gets the pin in 46 seconds.  Wow.

Divas eye candy pseudo match is NEXT!

WrestleMania is 27 days away!

Justin Roberts introduces the guest hosts, Cheech and Chong.  They’re hilarious, then they introduce the divas.

Pajama Pillow Fight: Gail Kim vs. Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres vs. WWE Divas Champion Maryse vs. Jillian Hall vs. Alicia Fox.  Everybody hits Maryse with pillows.  Jillian runs wild on everyone.  This is a tag match, isn’t it?  Kelly makes Hall eat a pillow, then hits her fucked up leg drop for 2.  Maryse gets a 2 count on Kelly.  Gail gives Maryse the Regal cutter.  Okay, so this isn’t a tag match, even though they had team entrances.  Hot chicks do stuff.  Gail hits her move on Alicia.  Gail gets sent out of the ring.  Eve hits a senton on Alicia for the pin in 1:56.  Hornswoggle comes out to give Cheech and Chong more cereal.  Alrighty.

The next Hall of Fame inductee is Mad Dog Vachon!  He’ll be inducted by Pat Patterson.

Bret Hart’s Farewell is NEXT!

Cole and Lawler hype the WrestleMania card.

Justin Roberts starts to introduce Bret Hart, but Vince McMahon comes out instead.  Vince introduces Bret, who hobbles out on his crutch.  They show the shit that happened 2 weeks ago.  Vince says he had nothing to do with the bimbo breaking Bret’s leg.  Bret doesn’t believe him, and tells him to get lost.  Vince brings up Bret calling him the World Champion Liar, and says he was lying about asking Bret to come here for his farewell.  McMahon screwed Bret.  Whatever.  Vince brings up the challenge Bret made to him.  Bret replies that he’s incapacitated.  Bret has wanted to fight Vince for 13 years.  Vince tries to goad Bret into accepting the match.  Bret says he can’t wrestle.  Vince says Bret has no heart (pun intended).  He calls Bret a coward, then kicks his crutch out from under him.  Vince somehow lost his show in that.  I didn’t catch how.  Vince continues calling Bret a coward.  Bret agrees to the match.  Vince says next week, he’ll take on John Cena.  Huh?

The main event is NEXT!

Next week’s guest host is Criss Angel.  Plus. Randy Orton takes on Rhodes and Dibiase in a Handicap Match and Vince McMahon takes on John Cena.

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Big Show & WWE United States Champion The Miz (c) vs. DX.  Show tosses Michaels around to start.  Miz tags in and puts the boots to him.  Kick to the head gets 2.  Show tags in and jabs a ham-sized fist into Michaels’ middle.  Show applies a bear hug.  Michaels fights out, tries the superkick, avoids the chokeslam, and makes the hot tag to Triple H.  Triple H hits the knee facebuster and the spinebuster, then goes for the Pedigree.  Miz interrupts and gets a spinebuster.  Show chokeslams Triple H.  Michaels superkicks Show.  They tease a double KO, but both make it to their feet.  Miz and Michaels tag in.  Michaels hits the flying jalapeno, nips up, chops, slam, diving elbow drop.  Shawn sets up the superkick.  Undertaker appears on the screen and distracts Michaels.  He tries to superkick Miz, but Miz surprises him with a jackknife hold for the pin in 4:30.

Triple H tries to help Michaels up.  Michaels says “Don’t touch me” and leaves.  Sheamus comes in from the crowd and attacks Triple H, pump kicking his head into the announce table.  He pump kicks Triple H a second time, sending him across the announce table.  Sheamus stands tall as the show closes.

This was a shitty wrestling show, but it’s doing a great job of hyping WrestleMania, so I have no complaints.

WWE Superstars 2/18/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2010 by Grappleholic

Superstars open (no WWE open in my video this week), pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our first hosts.  Tonight’s main event will see Rey Mysterio take on Mike Knox!

Evan Bourne & Primo vs. Carlito & Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Bourne and Carlito lock up.  Bourne kicks the fuck out of Carlito’s leg in response to being slapped.  Bourne with an awesome diving arm drag and another move for 2.  Carlito cuts him off and tags in Chavo.  Guerrero does some stuff with Bourne and Bourne hits him with a rana.  Awesome, quick paced action.  Chavo cuts Bourne off from making the tag and hits a backdrop suplex for 2.  Bourne hits Chavo with some kicks and makes the tag to Primo.  Primo runs wild on Chavo.  Primo goes for a springboard, but Carlito pushes him to cause him to crash and burn.  Carlito tags in to beat up his little brother.  Primo avoids the springboard elbow and hits a springboard cross body for 2.  Carlito sends Primo out of the ring.  Insta-commercials!  Primo plays face in peril.  Chavo knocks Bourne off the apron and hits the Gory Bomb.  Bourne makes it back in to make the save.  The bad guys continue to get the heat on Primo.  Primo fights back on Carlito.  Carlito avoids a leg drop, causing Primo to bust his ass.  Bourne gets the hot tag and runs wild on Chavo.  Awesome rana.  Bourne hits the double knee thing on Chavo, dropkicks Carlito off the apron, and hits a diving kick on Chavo.  Carlito saves.  Primo hits the Back Stabber on Carlito.  Bourne turns the Gory Bomb into a sunset flip for 2.  Bourne knees Chavo in the face and hits the Shooting Star press for the pin (8:51 shown).  Awesome little match.

Antonio Inoki Hall of Fame video.

Gail Kim is in action NEXT!

Gail Kim vs. Katie Lea Burchill.  Katie has new music.  It’s awful.  They lock up and trade some holds.  It’s actually pretty decent.  Gail gets a couple of quick 2 counts off of cradles.  Katie avoids one such cradle and sends Gail into the post.  Schoolgirl gets 2.  Katie works over Gail’s shoulder.  Gail makes her comeback.  Cross body off the top gets 2.  Gail hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Katie avoids Gail’s move and hits an enzuigiri to the shoulder.  Gail Kim rallies and hits her move (it’s apparently called the Eat Defeat.  Cool name.) for the pin in 4:15.  Maryse comes out to the stage and claps for Gail.  They show highlight of Gail’s shoulder getting punished, so maybe that’ll come into play at the PPV.  The match was pretty decent.

Chris Jericho hype video.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker take over commentary duties.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Mike Knox.  They lock up.  Knox backs Mysterio into the corner.  The referee forces a break.  Knox mauls Mysterio.  “Mauls” is an apt word because Knox very much resembles a bear.  Mysterio tries to fight back but gets killed with a clothesline.  Knox hits a leg drop for 2.  Mysterio hits a head scissors, then eats Knox’s boot.  Mysterio tries to springboard, but Knox bear hugs him, then transitions it into a backbreaker.  The mauling continues.  Mysterio gets a shot in and sets up the 619, but Knox bails to avoid it.  Mysterio tries the Bombs Away off the apron, but Knox powerbombs him into the post.  Insta-commercials.  Knox works over Mysterio’s back.  Knox puts Mysterio in the Torture Rack, then turns it into a big backbreaker for 2.  Knox goes to a bearhug on the mat.  Knox continues to abuse Mysterio’s back.  Mysterio kicks at Knox, low bridges him out of the ring, goes up top, and wipes him out with the Bombs Away.  Mysterio hits the springboard leg drop for 2.  Knox hits the Flying Bear (awesome name for his cross body) for 2.  Mysterio avoids a knee drop and hits the 619 and the springboard splash for the pin (9;33 shown).  Really good little match here.

Really fun edition of Superstars, with 3 matches ranging from decent to very good.

WWE Superstars 2/4/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open (not on my video, but I assume it was there), Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are our first hosts.

Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox & Katie Lea Burchill.  Alicia and Eve start.  Alicia leads it, so it’s decent.  Eve lands a dropkick.  Alicia tags out.  Kelly tags in.  Double team elbow drop on Katie gets 2.  Kelly fights both opponents.  Eve tags in and hits a diving sunset flip for 2.  Eve hits a rolling senton for 2.  Eve hits a Samoan drop and heads up top, but Alicia shakes the ropes.  Katie takes advantage of the distraction to send Eve out of the ring.  Alicia gets her shots in and Katie throws her back into the ring.  The heels work over Eve’s leg.  Eve makes the hot tag to Kelly Kelly, who runs wild.  Whirlybird headscissors on Alicia followed by the handspring elbows to the corner.  Kelly hits a Frankensteiner.  Katie saves.  Kelly hits a diving cross body, but Alicia rolls through and gets the pin in 5:06.

Tonight’s main event will have Matt Hardy, Great Khali, & John Morrison take on Drew McIntyre & The Hart Dynasty.

WWE bullshit of the week.

Evan Bourne vs. Carlito.  They lock up.  Carlito hammers Bourne early.  Bourne responds with kicks to Carlito’s legs.  Bourne with a swank arm drag, drop toe hold, and a dropkick for 2.  Match goes on.  Sorry, got distracted for a moment.  Bourne sends Carlito out of the ring and goes for a dive, but Carlito avoids it.  Bourne blasts Carlito in the face with a knee, brings him back in, and goes up top for the big finisher.  Carlito rolls out of the way.  Insta-commercial.  Bourne hits a headscissors and an elbow smash, kick to the head, then eats Carlito’s boot.  Cover gets 2 for Puerto Rico’s answer to Sideshow Bob.  Carlito clubbers Bourne in the corner.  The ref makes him break it.  Carlito hits the old bottom rope decapitator for 2.  Carlito wears Bourne down with a submission hold.  Bourne fights out, but Carlito hits a neckbreaker drop for 2.  Carlito applies a chin lock.  Bourne fights out with kicks to the leg.  Carlito hits a handspring elbow for 2.  Carlito keeps the heat on, but Bourne rallies and hits his double knees for 2.  Carlito schoolboys Bourne for 2.  Carlito hits a knee lift.  Bourne catches him with a sunset flip for 2.  Carlito with a spinebuster for 2.  Bourne, from the apron, drops Carlito with a kick to the head and goes up top.  Carlito gets up and stops him, then goes for a superplex.  Bourne counters with a sunset flip powerbomb, then hits the Shooting Star press for the pin (9:30 shown).  Awesome little match.

The six-man tag main event is still to come!

An Edge hype video is shown, ending with him returning to win the Royal Rumble this past Sunday.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker have taken over commentary duties.  They segway into the Raw Rebound.  This Friday on Smackdown, they’ll show what happened after Raw went off the air!

John Morrison, Great Khali, & Matt Hardy (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre & The Hart Dynasty (w/ Natalya).  Hardy and Kidd start.  Hardy quickly tags out to Morrison, who is awesome.  His rival, McIntyre tags in and draws his aggression.  Great Khali tags in and slowly dominates.  Hardy tags back in and goes with McIntyre.  Kidd kicks Hardy in the back of the head from the apron.  Smith tags in and clobbers Hardy.  Insta-commercial.  Hardy continues to take the heat from Smith, then Kidd.  Morrison takes in and runs wild, which is awesome.  McIntyre provides the distraction and allows Kidd to try a rana, but Morrison powerbombs him for 2.  Morrison tries to go up top, but Smith distracts him.  Kidd sends Morrison out of the ring.  Natalya gets her cheap shot in.  Bad guys get heat on Morrison.  Morrison drops Smith with a kick and makes the hot tag to Hardy.  Hardy runs wild until Smith sets up the Hart Attack.  Khali stops Kidd and McIntyre from hitting it.  Morrison takes them out with a dive.  Hardy hits the Twist of Fate on Smith, tags in Khali.  Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge on Smith for the pin (8:50 shown).  It was fine.

Fun show!

WWE Superstars 1/28/10

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler are our first commentary team.

The Bella Twins vs. Jillian Hall & Katie Lea Burchill.  The Bella double team Katie Lea.  Katie backs the legal Bella into the heel corner and tags in Jillian.  The other Bella tags in.  Katie provides a distraction to let Jillian get the advantage.  Katie Lea tags in and hits a uranage backbreaker for 2.  Hot tag to the fresh Bella, who runs wild.  She decks Jillian on the apron, then hits a monkey flip and a throwback on Katie for 2.  The Bella pins Katie Lea with a victory roll in 4:22.  Meh.  At least they’re hot.

Tonight’s main event will see Matt Hardy take on David Hart Smith!

Justin Roberts announces our Royal Rumble Qualifying Match!

Triple Threat Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Primo vs. Chris Masters (w/ Eve Torres).  Chavo attacks Masters, then Primo attacks Chavo, then Masters drops both of them and kicks their asses.  Masters goes to press slam Chavo, but Primo clips his leg.  They try to pile on Masters, then fight each other.  Masters recovers and drops both of them with a double clothesline, then covers each for 2 counts.  Primo takes a breather on the outside and Chavo takes an ass kicking on the inside.  Primo comes in to break up a cover and goes at it with Masters.  Masters goes for the Master Lock on Primo.  Chavo interrupts.  Master Lock on Chavo, but Primo breaks it.  Masters goes to the outside and Primo hits a tope suicida on him.  Chavo dives from the top rope onto both of them.  Insta-commercial.  Chavo works over Primo’s arm.  Chavo hits a rolling senton for 2, then stops Masters from coming back in.  Primo lands a dropkick.  Primo runs wild on Chavo.  Masters makes it back in.  Primo hits him with a side Russian leg sweep for 2.  Primo drops Masters.  Chavo recovers and hits the Three Amigos on Primo, but Primo turns the third into an inside cradle for 2.  Masters goes for the Master Lock on Chavo, backdrops Primo out of the ring, and finally manages to lock the hold in for the win (6:47 shown).  Fun little Triple Threat Match.

They show Matt Hardy & Great Khali’s victory over the Hart Dynasty last week on Smackdown.  Tonight, Hardy takes on David Hart Smith!

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker take over commentary duties and introduce the awesome Royal Rumble “By The Numbers” video, which I never get tired of.

Chris Jericho comes out and cuts a promo about how he’ll win the Royal Rumble.  He’s interrupted by R-Truth.  He bashes Jericho, then says HE will win the Royal Rumble, and eliminate Jericho if he has the chance.  He says it’s the truth, but I don’t think so.  Jericho decks him.  Truth drops Jericho with a kick and Jericho bails.

The main event is NEXT!

David Hart Smith (w/ Tyson Kidd & Natalya) vs. Matt Hardy (w/ Great Khali & Ranjin Singh).  They lock up and wrestle a bit.  Hardy goes for an early Twist of Fate, but Smith escapes it and bails.  Hardy hits a baseball slide dropkick, then goes for a dive off the top rope.  Kidd and Natalya protect him.  Khali walks over.  Insta-commercial.  During the break, Smith managed to get the advantage and started working over Hardy’s arm.  Smith hits a hammerlock slam for 2.  I love that that move has been making a comeback.  Natalya takes her chance to slap Hardy’s face while the ref’s back was turned.  Smith keeps the heat up on Hardy.  Hardy makes his comeback.  Bulldog headlock gets 2.  Side Effect gets 2.  Hardy goes up top and Natalya distracts him again.  Kidd gets a cheap shot on Hardy that allows Smith to hit a big boot for the pin (6:11 shown).  Khali clears the ring of the Hart Dynasty, then helps up Hardy and throws him out of the ring, because, you know, Royal Rumble coming up and all…  Fine little match.

Fun show!

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/11/10 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

I’m out of town on a borrowed laptop, so this is going to be the Reader’s Digest version of a Raw review.

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo, Cole and Lawler are the announcers, and we’re live from Minneapolis.

After much bickering, guest host Mike Tyson makes tonight’s main event: John Cena vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton in a Triple Threat Match with the winner facing Sheamus for the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble.

WWE Divas Championship Tournament – Round 1: Alicia Fox beat Kelly Kelly in 2:00 with a powerbomb.  It was what it was.

John Cena did stuff in Phoenix last week.

Legacy argues about which of them will win the Royal Rumble.  My bet is neither.

Legacy beat Mark Henry & Evan Bourne in 4:17 when Rhodes pinned Bourne with the Cross Rhodes in a good little match.

DX is backstage.  Shawn wants to make peace with Mike Tyson after Tyson punched him out at WrestleMania XIV.  Triple H discourages this, claiming that Tyson is crazy.  Michaels thinks Tyson is a changed man and aims to prove it.

Shawn tells Tyson he forgives him.  Tyson says he doesn’t regret it, he enjoyed it, and he’d like to do it again.  Chris Jericho comes in.  They talk while I get distracted.  Tonight, it’s DX vs. Jericho & Tyson, and if Jericho’s team wins, he can be on Raw.

Last week, Bret Hart returned to Raw and got kicked in the nuts by Vince McMahon.

Jack Swagger claims he’ll win the Royal Rumble.  He issues an open challenge for anyone to throw him over the top rope.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: Santino Marella beat Jack Swagger in 55 seconds.  Swagger went to throw Santino out, but Santino hung on to the ropes and won it.

Triple Threat Match to determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton defeated Kofi Kingston and John Cena in 11:15 with the RKO on Kingston after Legacy interfered to seal the win for Orton.

Josh Matthews tries to interview Tyson.  Hornswoggle interrupts.  Tyson tells Horny that if Horny gets involved in the match tonight, he’s going to do various nasty and probably lethal things to him.

Last week, MVP became #1 Contender for the U.S. Title.  Now, The Miz walks around backstage talking.  He comes out to the ring and keeps talking.  Miz’s new music is awful.  MVP comes out and talks.  Random “THIS IS AWESOME” chant.  They scuffle and MVP gets the better of it.

Hall of Fame hype.  Isn’t it early for that?

They show Tyson knocking out Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XIV.  Tonight, DX vs. JeriTyson.

WWE Divas Championship Tournament – Round 1: Eve Torres beat Katie Lea Burchill in 1:55 with a schoolgirl.  Maryse did commentary because she’ll face the winner next week in the Semifinals.

Mike Tyson can punch hard.

Carlito hits on Gail Kim.  Vince McMahon is headed our way!

Earlier, Orton won the Triple Threat Match to get a WWE Championship Match against Sheamus at the Royal Rumble.

Vince comes out and talks about Bret Hart.  He says Bret will never be seen in WWE again.

Tyson and Jericho are getting ready for their match.  It’s next!

DX comes out.  Triple H does the pre-match spiel.  Michaels says next week, he wants Undertaker to answer his challenge for WrestleMania.

Non-Title: Unified WWE Tag Team Champions DX defeated Chris Jericho & Mike Tyson in 4:44 when Michaels pinned Jericho.  Hornswoggle came out in boxing gear.  Tyson took off his shirt to reveal a DX shirt and punched out Jericho leading to the pin.  DX, Hornswoggle, Tyson, and Tyson’s son celebrate.

Well this show kinda sucked.