Archive for Jey Uso

WWE Superstars 3/24/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Tonight, Daniel Byran & Gail Kim vs. Tyson Kidd & Melina!  That might be pretty sweet.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Tyler Reks vs. Chris Masters.  They do a bit of wrestling.  Masters lands a shoulder block.  Reks gets a side headlock takeover, then lands a shoulder block of his own.  Masters throws Reks out of the ring.  Reks throws a fit outside.  Back inside, Masters lands a shoulder block and goes for the Master Lock.  Reks escapes and takes out the leg that was injured last week on Smackdown.  Reks goes to work on the leg.  Masters fights back and back body drops Reks to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Reks works on Masters’ leg for a while.  Masters gets a schoolboy for 2, then hits a Samoan Drop.  Masters makes his comeback.  Spinebuster gets 2.  Masters falls down because of his bad leg.  Reks hits a Complete Shot for 2.  Masters counters a short lariat and locks in the Master Lock for the referee stop (6:39 shown).  Fine little match.

From Smackdown: The Corre beat down The Big Show and Kane.  Tomorrow, Wade Barrett challenges Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship!

Tonight, mixed tag!

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Great Khali & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Khali is bandaged up from the beating he took on Raw from The Miz last week.  Yoshi and Jimmy go at it.  Yoshi hits a very wonky cradle out the corner for 2, then hits some arm drags.  Usos cut Yoshi off and get the heat on him.  Khali gets the lukewarm tag and… he doesn’t run wild, but he stumbles wild.  Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge (tree slam) on Jimmy for the pin in 3:57.  Yoshi worked the whole match, so it was fine.

Tonight, mixed tag!

WrestleMania hype.

The main event is next!

Daniel Bryan & Gail Kim vs. Tyson Kidd & Melina.  Gail and Melina lock up.  Melina backs Gail into the corner and cheap shots her.  They do some shit.  Gail gets a sunset flip for 2.  Gail hits a neckbreaker and tags Bryan in.  Bryan launches Gail onto Melina, then lifts her for a dropkick to Kidd.  Bryan gives Kidd a dropkick of his own for 2.  Bryan works Kidd’s arm.  Kidd lands a dropkick to the head and puts a beating on Bryan.  Kidd backs Bryan into the heel corner and beats on him.  Melina chokes Bryan behind the referee’s back.  Kidd continues to choking with his boot.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter.  Bryan counters and goes for the LeBell Lock.  Kidd gets the ropes.  Melina slaps Bryan.  Gail takes her out.  Bryan hits Kidd with a running knee off the apron.  Gail hits Melina with a diving cross body to the floor.  Insta-commercials.  Bryan beats up Kidd.  Kidd tags out.  Gail comes in and beats up Melina.  Gail applies a stretch muffler.  Melina escapes and does a Matrix dodge to avoid a cross body.  Melina gets the heat on Gail.  Melina goes for the Hog Log, but Gail counters.  Melina hits her with a split kick for 2.  Melina applies a wonky submission hold and turns into a Gedo Clutch for 2.  Gail turns into sort of a surfboard, then turns it into a Gedo Clutch for 2.  Double “drive each others’ face into the mat” spot.  Bryan and Kidd tag in.  Bryan runs wild.  Clothesline gets 2.  Bryan lands a high kick and goes up top.  Melina crotches him.  Gail takes out Melina.  Kidd springs up to attack Bryan, but is pushed down.  Bryan and Gail hit stereo missile dropkicks.  Bryan locks in the LeBell Lock for the win (9:06 shown).  Fun match.  Bryan and Gail celebrate.

Not a bad show this week.

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WWE Superstars 3/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

JTG vs. Tyler Reks.  They lock up.  Reks shoves JTG around.  JTG throws some punches.  Reks charges him in the corner and misses.  JTG lands a dropkick.  Reks clings to the ropes for safety.  Reks comes back and throws JTG out of the ring, then puts a hurting on him on the outside.  Back inside, Reks hits a backbreaker for 2.  JTG tries to fight back.  Reks hits a Final Cut for 2.  JTG avoids Reks in the corner again and gets a schoolboy for 2.  Reks holds onto the ropes to avoid a reverse cradle.  JTG gets it on the second try to for 2.  JTG low bridges Reks out of the ring and hits a diving shoulder block off the apron.  Back inside, JTG plants Reks with a DDT for 2.  JTG comes off the top rope, but Reks ducks him and kicks him in the gut.  Reks his his Burning Hammer for the pin in 5:48.  They tried, but I couldn’t get into it.

Tonight, Raw replays featuring Snooki.

WWE.com plug.

From Raw: Vickie Guerrero beat Trish Stratus after Dolph Ziggler, John Morrison, and LayCool got involved.  A brawl with Snooki happened and they booked a 6-person tag for Mania.

Santino & Kozlov in action next.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Ugh.  Santino has a new singlet.  I notice things like that.  The announcers don’t know the trick to telling the Usos apart.  Santino and Jey do some shit.  For what it’s worth, Jey is the one with the cross tattoo on his right arm.  Usos make quick tags and work over Santino.  Usos pull the switcheroo, but it doesn’t work.  Santino continues playing face in peril.  Kozlov gets the hot tag and runs wild.  Powerslam on Jey.  Jimmy saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Santino back body drops Jimmy on the floor.  Kozlov boots Jey and tags out.  Santino hits the Cobra on Jey for the pin in 4:24.  There ya go.

8-woman tag match tonight.  Ugh.

Raw Rebound.

WrestleMania hype.

Divas tag match next.  Ugh.

Melina, Alicia Fox, & The Bella Twins vs. WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres, Natalya, Gail Kim, & Tamina.  Tamina beats up one of the Bellas.  Fox beats up Tamina.  Tamina beats up Fox.  Fox beats up Gail.  Gail hits a dropkick and a clothesline for 2.  Natalya tags in.  She and Gail give Fox a double suplex.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Fox makes it to the ropes before she can.  One of the Bellas tags in.  Natalya schoolgirls her for 2.  The other Bella distracts Natalya to let the legal Bella get the advantage.  The heel divas cut Natalya off and get the heat on her.  Insta-commercials.  Natalya continues to play face in peril.  Natalya gets a cradle on Melina for 1.  Melina applies a rear chin lock while chewing on her hair.  Natalya escapes and goes for an enzuigiri.  Melina ducks.  One of the Bellas pulls Eve off the apron.  Tamina drops both of the Bellas at ringside.  Natalya clotheslines Melina and makes the tag to Eve.  Natalya slams Melina.  Eve’s first act of the match is to hit a moonsault press on Melina for the pin (5:55 shown).  At least it’s over.  Face divas celebrate.

I was not into this show at all.  Not only was it not good, but I was also not in the right state of mind to get through this in a good humor.

WWE Superstars 2/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tonight, a replay of the Rock promo from Raw!  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.

Chris Masters vs. Tyler Reks.  Reks wins the lock up.  Masters shoves him.  Reks hides behind the referee and gets in a cheap shot.  Masters rallies and goes for the Master Lock.  Reks rallies and goes into ass kicking mode.  Reks hits a short lariat for 2.  Reks applies a Dragon sleeper.  Masters kicks his way free.  Reks hits a Final Cut for 2.  Reks puts a beating on Masters.  Masters back body drops Reks to the floor.  Reks pulls Master’s head across the top rope.  Masters hits a Samoan Drop and makes his comeback.  Masters hits a sit-out spinebuster for 2.  Reks comes off the top and gets caught in the Master Lock.  Masters gets the referee stop win in 4:40.  Good little match with a surprising result.

Tonight, Zack Ryder & Primo take on WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov!

WWE.com plug.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

David Hart Smith & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  This match again?  Jey and Smith start.  Smith goes for a Kimura, but gets countered.  Smith gets a jackknife hold for 2.  Smith hits a belly to belly suplex for 2.  Smith goes a cartwheel to the corner and tags in Yoshi.  Jimmy tags in on the other side.  Jimmy works Yoshi over.  Yoshi rallies, hits some arm drags, send Jimmy out of the ring, and takes him out with a dive.  Insta-commercials.  Usos cut Yoshi off and get the heat on him.  Yoshi mows Jimmy down with a spin kick and makes the hot tag.  Smith runs wild and hits Jey with a sit-out powerbomb.  Jimmy saves.  Clusterfuck ensues.  The Usos pull the switcheroo.  Jimmy sends Smith into the turnbuckles, then schoolboys him and grabs a handful of trunks for the pin (about 6 1/2 minutes shown).  It was fine.

Still to come, Ryder & Primo vs. Santino & Kozlov!

Up next, Rock on tape!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

They show about 12 minutes of The Rock’s promo from Raw.

The main event is NEXT!

Non-Title: WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (w/ Tamina) vs. Zack Ryder & Primo.  Santino and Ryder fuck around a bit.  Santino does the headlock –> shoulder block bit.  Ryder and Primo try to cut Santino off and work his arm.  Santino causes a friendly fire incident between the heels and regains the initiative.  They champs work over Ryder.  Ryder drops Santino with a backdrop suplex and tags out.  Santino throws Primo around, goes for the falling headbutt, and meets knees.  The heels cut off Santino.  Insta-commercials.  The heels get the heat on Santino.  Kozlov gets the hot tag and gets cut off.  Santino tags back in.  Kozlov finally runs wild.  Santino hits Primo with the Cobra for the pin (6:34 shown).  There ya go.  The champs celebrate.

Okay show this week.

WWE Superstars 2/10/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are the first announcers.  Tonight, Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta!  Justin Roberts is the first ring announcer.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox.  Natalya takes Fox down to the mat with a side headlock.  Fox escapes.  Natalya clamps on another headlock.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Fox gets the ropes to escape.  They lock up again.  Fox beats up Natalya.  Natalya applies a surfboard, then turns it into a pinning predicament for 2.  Fox pulls Natalya’s head over the top rope and goes back to work on her.  Fox applies a body scissors.  Natalya turns it into a bear hug.  Fox escapes and goes for a backdrop suplex, but fails.  Double clothesline spot.  Natalya hits a butterfly suplex and makes her comeback.  Natalya botches a Jackhammer for 2.  Natalya takes Fox down by the leg and locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 6:36.  This kind of sucked.

Up next, Raw clips!

Raw clips.

Tonight, Swagger vs. Barreta!

WWE.com plug.

Handicap Match: Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Typical “2 guys against an immobile giant” stuff.  Usos hit a double superkick for 2.  Khali makes is comeback and hits the tree slam on Jimmy for the pin in 2:00.  Whatever.

Tonight, Swagger vs. Barreta!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are now the announcers.

Elimination Chamber hype video.

Tony Chimel is now the ring announcer.

Tyler Reks is in action NEXT!

They show Reks turning on Curt Hawkins last week.

Tyler Reks vs. Curt Hawkins.  Hawkins shoves Reks.  Reks boots him to death in the face and pounds on him.  Hawkins lands an elbow smash and makes his comeback.  Hawkins hits a Michinoku Driver II for 2.  Hawkins counters out of a powerslam in a face plant for 2.  Hawkins goes up top.  Reks crotches him, gets  him in a fireman’s carry, and drops him across the top turnbuckle!  Reks hits the modified Burning Hammer for the pin in 3:21.  Fun little match.

Still to come, Swagger vs. Barreta!

Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta.  Swagger throws and slams Barreta around.  Barreta gets a sunset flip for 2.  Barreta gets a flying schoolboy for 2.  Swagger throws Barreta around some more.  Swagger hits the Vader Bomb for 2.  Swagger applies an arm hold.  Barreta tries to make his comeback, but misses an enzuigiri.  Swagger locks in the ankle lock for the win in 2:54.  Fun while it lasted.

The first half sucked, second half wasn’t too bad.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/31/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Raw open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.  Tonight, Edge vs. Miz again!  This time, there MUST be a winner.  Justin Robers is the ring announcer.

Ricardo Rodriguez brings out a mariachi band.  He introduces the WINNER of the 2011 Royal Rumble, Alberto Del Rio!  There’s a big celebration in the ring.  Del Rio cuts a promo.  He teases that he’ll announce which champion he’s going to challenge at WrestleMania.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out.  He congratulates Del Rio on his victory.  He tries to manipulate Del Rio into facing Edge at WrestleMania instead of him by telling him Edge was talking shit about him like this is 10th grade.  Del Rio isn’t buying it.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out and tells Del Rio how he doesn’t like him.  Del Rio says he’s coming for the World title at Mania.  Edge decks him.  Miz, Riley, and the mariachis leave.  Del Rio decks Edge and gives him the ol’ el kabong with a guitar.  Del Rio locks Edge in a cross armbreaker.  Del Rio poses with the belt.  Good segment.

Up next, Santino & Kozlov against McGillicutty & Harris for the Tag titles!  Commercials.

Providence!

Moments ago, ^^^ happened!

The iBooker dings in.  Cole announces a 7-man Raw Rumble for a WWE title shot at Elimination Chamber, with the six losers being the competitors in the Raw Elimination Chamber Match.  The participants are Randy Orton, CM Punk, John Morrison, R-Truth, Sheamus, Jerry Lawler, and John Cena.

WWE Tag Team Title Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris of The New Nexus.  2011 Royal Rumble runner-up Santino locks up with McGillicutty.  McGillicutty beats down Santino in the corner.  Santino avoids a charge in the corner and tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov beats up McGillicutty.  McGillcutty cuts him off and tags in Harris.  Kozlov takes him down and tags in Santino.  Harris cuts Santino off and attacks him with his large body.  Nexus get the heat on Santino.  McGillicutty throws Santino out of the ring.  Commercials.  Nexus continue working over Santino.  Kozlov headbutts McGillicutty from the apron.  Santino hits an arm drag.  Harris and Kozlov tag in.  Kozlov runs wild.  Santino tags back in, disposes of McGillicutty, and hits Harris with the Cobra for the pin in 8:10.  Well, there ya go.

Randy Orton comes out and drops both Nexus members with RKOs, then warms up to give Harris the PUNT OF DOOM.  CM Punk, David Otunga, and Mason Ryan come out.  Punk tells Orton not to do it, promising repercussions.  Orton does it anyway.  The rest of Nexus rush the ring.  Orton escapes through the crowd.  Commercials.

Moments ago, Randy Orton killed Husky Harris!

Ted Dibiase Jr. and Maryse come out.  Dibiase asks Lawler to give him his spot in the Raw Rumble.  Cole says Lawler won’t do it because he’s selfish.  Lawler says he’s never competed at WrestleMania, and his road to WrestleMania starts tonight.  He says he would already be WWE Champion of Cole hadn’t screwed things up.  Dibiase cheap shots Lawler.  Lawler goes to kick Dibiase’s ass, but he hides behind Maryse.  Maryse is like “WTF?” and slaps him.  Maryse leaves.  Lawler decks Dibiase.  I can’t wait for him to deck Cole too.

Tonight, Edge vs. Miz!  Plus a Raw Rumble Match!  Commercials.

2/21/11.  Something is going to happen.

The Bella Twins have joined Cole and Lawler for commentary.

Non-Title: WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ Gail Kim) vs. Tyson Kidd.  No entrances.  They lock up and do some awesome chain wrestling.  After some pimp chain wrestling, Bryan kicks the crap out of Kidd.  Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter.  Bryan counters and locks in the LeBell Lock for the win in 1:49.  Good while it lasted.  Bryan and Gail hug.  The Bellas get in the ring and start shit.  A CAT FIGHT erupts.  Bryan and referees break it up.

Miz vs. Edge is NEXT!  Commercials.

Slam of the Week: Miz eliminating John Cena from last night’s Royal Rumble.

Non-Title: WWE Champion The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge.  No entrances, but we get in-ring intros.  They lock up, break, lock up again.  Edge puts the boots to Miz in the corner.  Riley pulls Miz out of the ring.  Miz pulls Edge’s injured arm across the top rope, then sends his injured shoulder into the steps.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Miz goes to work on Edge’s arm.  Miz hits an arm stunner for 2.  Riley gets in a cheap shot behind the referee’s back.  Miz keeps the arm torture going.  Edge rallies and gets a sunset flip for 2.  Miz hits an armbreaker for 2.  Edge rallies and hits his face plant thing for 2 while Lawler and Cole talk about Toby Keith songs.  Edge hits an O’Connor Roll out of the corner for 2.  Miz drops Edge for a 2 count of his own.  Miz goes up top.  Edge catches him with a boot and hits the Edgecution for 2.  Edge goes for the spear.  Miz side steps it and sends Edge into corner.  John Cena appears in the crowd to taunt Miz.  Edge hits the spear for the pin in 8:53.  Fine little match.  Cole goes to check on his lover, Miz.

Tonight, Raw Rumble Match!  Commercials!

Lawler and Cole announce that Stone Cold Steve Austin will host the new Tough Enough.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to be obnoxious.  She says that Edge will defend the World title on Smackdown in a way that it has never been defended before.  Uh oh, she’s getting booking ideas from Vince Russo.

WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres & Natalya vs. Michelle McCool & Layla.  They show LayCool bitching at each other backstage before making up.  Natalya and McCool do some ground wrestling.  Natalya hits a back body drop.  Layla tags in and cowers from Natalya.  Natalya tries to do a Dominator or something.  Layla escapes and hugs McCool for dear life.  Natalya hits a butterfly suplex for 2.  Eve tags in and kicks Layla a bunch, then hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Eve goes for a superplex.  McCool kicks her in the face.  Layla hits a DIAMOND DUST~! for the pin in 2:42.  I like this match just for the finish.  Commercials.

WWE.com plug.

Josh Matthews has replaced Lawler on commentary.

Great Khali & Mark Henry (w/ Ranjin Singh) come out for a tag match against the Usos.  iBooker dings in.  Cole reads that the Usos don’t have a chance, so he makes it a dance off.  Fucking UGH.  They dance.  It’s fucking stupid.  The Usos jump the huge guys, which is also fucking stupid.  They get tree slammed and World’s Strongest Slammed.  Fucking ugh.  Did the writers say “Hey, we don’t have anything REALLY STUPID on the this show!  We better correct that!”

Earlier tonight, Randy Orton killed Husky Harris.

Raw Rumble tonight.  Commercials.

2/21/11!  Something’s gonna go down!  I’m sure it’s gonna be a happening.

Trailer for Triple H’s shitty looking new movie.

Justin Roberts explains the Raw Rumble stipulations.  #1 is John Morrison, who had an awesome moment in the Royal Rumble Match last night.  #2 is King Sheamus.  Commercials.

This Friday on Smackdown, Edge & Kelly Kelly vs. Dolph Ziggler & LayCool for the World Heavyweight Championship.  Seriously.

Raw Rumble Match: Morrison and Sheamus go at it.  Morrison hits some arm drags and cranks on Sheamus’ arm.  Morrison lands corner punches.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker.  #3 is John Cena.  Cena and Sheamus tear into each other.  Cena runs wild.  He goes for the Attitude Adjustment on Morrison, but Morrison lands on his feet and drops Cena with an enzuigiri.  Everybody brawls for a bit.  #4 is CM Punk.  He runs wild on everyone.  Sheamus tries to dump Cena while Morrison and Punk try to eliminate each other.  Everyone fails.  #5 is R-Truth, who gets his moment to shine.  Truth throws Morrison, but Morrison skins the cat back in and flips Truth into a similar predicament.  Both save themselves from being eliminated.  Punk spikes Cena with a DDT.  Sheamus tries to eliminate Truth.  #6 is Jerry “The King” Lawler!  Lawer runs wild and punches the shit out of everyone!  Crowd chants “JERRY!”  Sheamus stops Lawler from eliminating Punk.  Sheamus tries to dump Lawler.  Punk bails under the bottom rope and hides under the ring because #7 is Randy Orton.  Orton looks drags Punk out from under the ring and kicks his ass.  They make it into the ring and Orton runs wild.  Orton eliminates Punk!  Truth eliminates Orton!  Commercials!  The five remaining guys brawl.  Cena makes his comeback on Sheamus.  He gets Morrison and Truth on his back and tries to eliminate them.  Truth goes out, but Morrison hangs on and guillotines Cena to the apron.  Cena and Morrison brawl on the apron.  Sheamus comes at them and they low bridge him to the apron.  Sheamus and Cena make it back into the ring.  Sheamus drops Lawler.  Sheamus and Morrison try to suplex each other.  Morrison almost gets eliminated, but hangs on by his feet.  Morrison slides back in and tries to eliminate Sheamus again.  Sheamus hits the slingshot shoulder block.  Cena locks Sheamus in the STF.  Sheamus taps a bunch, but it’s a Rumble.  Morrison hits them with the Starship Pain.  Lawler dumps Morrison, but Morrison keeps his feet on the apron again.  Dude is a Rumble Ninja.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on Cena.  Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck, but Sheamus catches him and puts him in the apron again.  Sheamus finally eliminates Morrison with the brogue kick.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjusment on Sheamus.  Lawler dropkicks Cena and tries to eliminate him.  Sheamus breaks it up and hammers Cena on the apron.  Sheamus throws Lawler into Cena, which knocks Cena to the floor.  Sheamus goes for the brogue kick, but Cena low bridges Sheamus out of the ring just to be a dick.  Lawler wins in 18:18.  Fun match.  Lawler gets a title shot an Elimination Chamber!

Fun show aside from the stupid bullshit dance thing.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/17/11

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2011 by Grappleholic

WWE open, annual Martin Luther King Jr. day video.  We are LIVE in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

John Cena comes to the ring.  They show him getting beaten up by the New Nexus 3 weeks ago.  Cena talks about said event, promises to win the Royal Rumble and go to WrestleMania, then calls out CM Punk.  WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come out instead.  He rants about whatever for a minute, then announces that this year’s Royal Rumble will be 40 men instead of 30.  Why is it his job to announce that?  Miz advises whoever wins the Rumble to go after the other champion instead.  Cena makes some lame jokes, then talks about the times that Miz would have lost the title to Lawler and Orton if Cole and Riley hadn’t interfered.  Then he makes more lame jokes.  He says “poopy noises” on national TV.  Yes, he said that.  They banter for a while.  Cena says that the main event at Mania will be Cena vs. Orton.  I fucking hope not.  The New Nexus come out.  Punk cuts a promo on Cena, then sends Husky Harris, Michael McGillicutty, and David Otunga to the ring.  They attack Cena.  WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov make the save.  Yes, I’m serious.  Punk decides to try different odds and all 4 of the New Nexus head to the ring.  Cole gets an e-mail from the iBooker.  iBooker bans Nexus from ringside during tonight’s Cena/Punk match on pain of not being in the Royal Rumble.

Tonight, Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton!  Commercials.

Justin Roberts is the ring announcer.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (c) (w/ Tamina) vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso.  No entrances, but we get in ring entrances.  Santino and Jimmy go at it.  The Usos cut Santino off and get the heat on him.  Kozlov tags the tag and beats up Jey.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Kozlov goes for the Iron Curtain, but Jey counters.  Santino tags in and hits the Cobra for the pin in 2:33.  This was nothing.

The New Nexus bicker amongst themselves backstage.  CM Punk comes in and smiles creepily at them, then says “faith.”

John Morrison is headed our way.  He encounters WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan and The Bella Twins.  Commercials.

WWE Rewind: John Morrison vs. Sheamus from last week.

John Morrison hype video.

Non-Title: John Morrison vs. WWE United States Champion Daniel Bryan (w/ The Bella Twins).  They lock up and do a sweet chain wrestling sequence.  That always brings joy to my heart.  Danielson does the leapfrog, drop down, dropkick.  Morison is sent outside.  Bryan slides out.  They both slide back in and do the stalemate post.  Commercials.  Morrison has Danielson grounded.  That’s backwards.  Morrison hits a side Russian leg sweep and takes too long going for the Starship Pain.  Danielson avoids it and kills him with a Buzzsaw kick for 2.  Danielson goes for the LeBell Lock, but fails.  Double cross body spot.  They trade strikes.  Morrison lands on his feet from a German suplex and hits a Frankensteiner.  Bryan rolls through for 2.  Cradle counter sequence.  Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock again.  Morrison counters and catapults him into the corner.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and the running knee strike for the pin in 7:22.  Really good little match.  King Sheamus comes out and cuts a promo about how he made Morrison because Morrison had to turn up his game to deal with Sheamus.  He promises to conquer “turdy-nine” other men at the Royal Rumble.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Next, Ziggler vs. Orton!

Slam of the Week: Randy Orton & Jerry Lawler defeating The Miz & Alex Riley last week.  Commercials.

Little Rock!

Stand Up For WWE.  This bullshit again?

The Bella Twins talk about how hot John Morrison is.  Then they argue over who’s going to Bryan’s “first.”  I knew he was a virgin.  They make a bet on who AmDrag will nail first.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream in her awful voice.  She introduces Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Randy Orton.  Entrances, commercials, bell.  They lock up.  Ziggler backs Orton into the corner and cheap shots him to get the advantage.  Orton hits an Austin-style Lou Thesz press with punches.  Orton explodes out of the corner with a clothesline and starts to put a beating on Ziggler.  Orton hits the Albert decapitator thing for 2, then clamps on a rear chin lock.  Ziggler rallies and dropkicks Orton’s knee for 2.  Ziggler goes to work on the knee, stomping on it and wrapping it around the ring post.  Orton rallies and beats up Ziggler some.  Ziggler lands a dropkick for 2.  They trade blows.  Orton hits the 3.0.  Orton side steps Ziggler, who crashes into the corner.  Orton makes his comeback.  Ziggler slips out of the DDT OF MURDER and takes out Orton’s knee.  Ziggler hits the Fameasser for 2.  Orton goes for the Angle Slam, but Ziggler slips out and clamps on the sleeper hold.  Orton manages to get a rope break.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Orton holds onto the top rope.  Orton his the RKO for the pin in 8:28.  Good match.  The Miz and Alex Riley immediately jump Orton.  Miz throws Orton into the steps, then tears up the announce table.  Lawler confronts him and decks Riley.  Miz throws Lawler over the barricade.  Orton tries to fight back.  Miz kicks his injured knee, then rams his back into the post, then they through him through a gimmicked part of the barricade.  How dastardly!  Miz creepily says his catchphrase.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Commercials!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

Moments ago, ^^^ happened.

CM Punk lectures The New Nexus about faith.

Eve Torres and Melina have joined Cole for commentary.

Non-Title: Maryse vs. WWE Divas Champion Natalya.  They face off.  Maryse slaps Natalya.  Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter.  Maryse gets away, then hits some weird face plant for 1.  Melina applies a chin lock.  Shit goes on.  Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter for the win in 1:39.  At least that’s over.  Maryse screams at Cole for some reason.  Eve shoves her and leaves.  Maryse screams some more.  Ted Dibiase Jr. shows up.  Maryse yells at him.  Dibiase says he’ll win the Royal Rumble.  Well that’s just silly.  He challenges anyone to an over the top rope challenge.  Commercials.

Over The Top Rope Challenge: Ted Dibiase Jr. vs. Mark Henry.  Dibiase attacks.  Henry rallies and squashes him in the corner.  Dibiase lands a dropkick.  Henry throws him out of the ring for the win in 27 seconds.  Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, and William Regal hit the ring.  Henry tosses Yoshi quickly.  Regal and Kidd beat down Henry.  They are quickly joined by Zack Ryder, Primo, David Hart Smith, Darren Young, and R-Truth.  Everybody brawls in an unsanctioned Battle Royal.  Sheamus joins the fight and eliminates everyone but Henry.  Lawler rejoins Cole on commentary.  Henry eliminates Sheamus to win a moral victory.  Alberto Del Rio comes out and cuts a promo about how it’s his destiny to win the Rumble.

Tonight, Cena vs. Punk!  Commercials.

There’s a stupid vignette with Derrick Bateman trying to sell Mark Henry’s body odor.  Yes.

Cole and Lawler bicker, then we get the awesome annual Rumble “By The Numbers” video!

Hype for the Rumble title matches.

Cole announces next week’s main event, Edge vs. The Miz in a champion vs. champion match.

John Cena gives some guy a DVD and some instructions.  He’ll face Punk NEXT!  Commercials.

CM Punk comes out with the New Nexus.  He stares at them.  They salute him, then leave.  I guess this was to show how creepy Punk is.  They show the initiations from last week.

CM Punk vs. John Cena.  They stare at each other.  Cena beats up Punk.  Punk lands a stiff kick to Punk’s shoulder, the baseball slide dropkicks him out of the ring.  Commercials.  This late in the show?  That’s weird.  Punk has Cena in a figure-four headlock.  Cena stands up.  Punk slips off and hits a DDT for 2.  Punk keeps the heat going on Cena.  Cena makes his comeback.  Punk counters out of the Attitude Adjusment and lands a dropkick for 2.  Punk hits the knee to the corner and the bulldog for 2.  Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Cena counters into the STF.  Punk gets a rope break.  Double clothesline spot.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment again.  Punk gets out and lands a high kick to the head.  Punk hits the springboard lariat for 2.  Punk counters the AA again and hits a Complete Shot, then locks in a Koji Clutch like hold that is incorrectly called the Anaconda Vice.  Cena fights his way to a rope break.  Cena rolls to the apron.  Punk boots him to the floor.  Punk goes for a slingshot dive.  Cena catches him, rams him into the post, and sets him back in the ring.  Cena goes to the top rope.  Punk cuts him off and tries to set something up.  Cena headbutts Punk to the mat and hits the diving Fameasser for 2.  Some big dude (Mason Ryan) appears to distract Cena.  Punk kicks Cena in the head.  Punk spears his arm wide and smiles.  Big dude gives him a boot the face, so Punk wins by DQ in 15:42.  Okay match.  Ryan gives Cena a side Rock Bottom.  Otunga, McGillicutty, and Harris come out to protect Punk.  Ryan gets down on one knee.  Punk gives him a Nexus armband.  New Nexus all raise their arms as the show ends.

Pretty good show.

WWE Superstars 1/13/11

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Superstars open, pyro and ballyhoo.  Jack Korpela and Matt Striker are the first announcers.  Tony Chimel is the first ring announcer.  Tonight, a big eight-man tag match!

Chris Masters & JTG vs. Curt Hawkins & Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Yay for random tag matches!  Chavo and Masters lock up.  Masters drops him with a shoulder block.  They lock up again and Masters powers Chavo into the corner.  Chavo lands a cheap shot.  Masters hits a press slam for 2.  JTG tags in and works Chavo’s arm a bit.  Chavo gets away and tags Hawkins in.  JTG shuts him down and tags in Masters.  Masters lands a shoulder block.  Hawkins does the drop down, leap frog.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but gets countered and cut off.  Chavo and Hawkins get the heat on Masters.  JTG gets the hot tag and runs wild, then gets cut off.  Insta-commercials.  Chavo and Hawkins get the heat on JTG for a while.  JTG gives Hawkins a flapjack and makes the hot tag to Masters.  Masters runs wild on Chavo.  Masters goes for the Master Lock, but Chavo counters.  Masters tries again, back body drops an interfering Hawkins, and clamps the hold on Chavo for the win (9:49 shown).  Fine little match.

NXT recap.

Up next, Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox.

WWE.com plug.

Scott Stanford and Josh Matthews are now the announcers.  Justin Roberts is now the ring announcer.

Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim.  They lock up and wrestle a bit.  Fox backs Gail into the corner and charges, but Gail avoids her and jumps around a bunch.  Alicia gets a side headlock takeover.  Gail escapes and hits an arm drag.  Fox begs off.  Gail hits a basement dropkick for 2.  Fox kicks Gail in the gut and works her over.  Of course she works the hair.  And I was thinking this match might not be too bad.  Fox hits a gut buster for 2.  Fox locks in an abdominal stretch.  Gail flips out and lands on top of Fox for 2.  Fox beats Gail up some more.  Gail rallies and makes her comeback.  Gail hits a missile dropkick for 2.  Gail hits the Eat Defeat for the pin in 4:51.  It was there.  I’ve seen far worse.

Awesome random eight-man tag is still to come!

WWE bullshit fact of the night.

John Morrison hype video.

Shawn Michaels Hall of Fame video.

Awesomely random eight-man tag is NEXT!

David Hart Smith, Yoshi Tatsu, Primo, & Darren Young vs. William Regal, Zack Ryder, & Jimmy & Jey Uso.  Regal and Primo start with an awesome sequence.  Jimmy Uso tags in and beats up Primo.  Primo rallies and tags in Yoshi.  Yoshi shines, then Young tags in and takes his turn.  Ryder tags in, but gets clocked by Young.  Smith tags in and beats up Ryder.  Regal tags in and trades European uppercuts with Smith.  Ryder tags back in and gets beaten on my Smith some more.  Smith hits the stalling suplex for 2.  Jey Uso tags in and beats up Smith.  Jimmy tags a turn, then Ryder again.  Smith hits a Jackhammer on Ryder, then knocks the other opponents off the apron.  Smith goes for the running powerslam, but an Uso clips his leg.  Ryder beats on Smith.  Insta-commercials.  Smith makes a comeback on Jimmy Uso and tags in Young.  Young runs wild a bit, then low bridges him out of the ring.  Jimmy chop blocks Young on the apron.  Back inside, cover gets 2.  Regal tags in and mauls Young.  Ryder tags in and keeps the heat going on Young.  Ryder hits the face wash for 2.  Young drops Ryder with an enzuigiri and makes the hot tag to Primo.  Primo runs wild.  Primo hits a jumping tornado DDT.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Yoshi tags in and drops Ryder with a Mirko Cro Cop high kick for the pin (10:20 shown).  Fun match!

Okay little show this week!  Random multi-man tags are always a good time.