Archive for Jerry Lynn

ROH 3/21/09 (Repost)

Posted in ROH with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

Nice opening video.  Mike Hogewood and Dave Prazak are our hosts.  They explain the Code of Honor (that’s still around) and hype the main event.  Then. it’s on to the first match!

Delirious vs. Jerry Lynn.  They show a brief “smack talk” segment before each wrestler’s entrance where they have a moment to speak, then, during the entrances they show a little information on the wrestlers.  Delirious goes crazy at the bell, then they lock up and go at it.  Delirious gets a knock down, then Lynn takes him down and locks in a surfboard.  Delirious counters.  Fast paced match.  Lynn hits a head scissors and a backbreaker and gets a two count.  Delirious drops Lynn and hits a senton for a near fall.  Delirious works a hold, but Lynn fights out.  Delirious hits a couple of lariats, then Lynn ducks one and gets a near fall with a backslide.  Lynn hits a Gory Bomb for a near fall.  Back and forth stuff.  I haven’t done a review in a while so I’m off my mark.  Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver for the win at 5:41.

Kyle Durden (who?) interviews Tyler Black, who apparently grew up watching Jimmy Jacobs, so he must be about 10 years old.

Sami Callihan vs. Kenny King.  King leapfrogs Callihan to start, then they lock up.  Callihan grabs a hammerlock, but King swankly counters it.  They have a nice little exchange, then King drapes Callihan across the ropes as he jumps out of the ring.  King goes to work on him.  King hits an enzuigiri and a huge spinebuster for a near fall.  Callihan makes a comeback and hits a sweet Exploder, then works him over a bit and locks in the Koji Clutch.  King manages to get a foot on the ropes.  King hits a running double knee in the corner and follows with the Coronation for the win at 5:43.  Fun little match.

Kyle Durden interviews Jimmy Jacobs.

Sweet ROH History highlight video, showing lots of WWE and TNA guys and legends who have appeared in ROH over the years.

Rhett Titus vs. Brent Albright.  Albright fires away with vicious chops.  Titus fights back and tries to suplex Albright, but can’t get the bigger man up.  Albright does the suplexing, complete with stall.  Titus stands on the ropes and Albright pulls him down straight into a backbreaker.  Neat.  Albright hits a Crucifix Bomb and covers, but Titus gets a foot on the ropes.  Albright clotheslines Titus out of the ring and dives onto him.  Albright throws Titus back in, but gets his eyes scraped and is knocked off the apron.  Titus gets the offensive and goes to work on Albright.  Albright battles back with chops, but Titus scrapes his eyes again and hits a move for a near fall.  Titus keeps up the beating, complete with his homo taunts.  Albright makes a comeback, but Titus hits a dropkick for a near fall.  Albright hits the half-nelson suplex and locks in the Crowbar for the victory at 6:33.

They show footage of Austin Aries murdering Jacobs at Rising Above, leading to the break up of Jacobs and Black at Final Battle.  The main event is next!

Jimmy Jacobs vs. Tyler Black.  They lock up, then shove each other.  Black gives the stronger shove.  They lock up again and tear into each other.  Jacobs throws some chairs into the ring, then jumps Black from behind as Black removes the chairs.  Jacobs beats on Black for a bit, then Black makes a comeback and beats on Jacobs until Jacobs counters with a neat headscissors that sends Black face first into the turnbuckle.  Jacobs beats on Black for a bit.  Black gets some shots in and goes up top, but Jacobs pushes him off the top rope into the guardrail.  Jacobs continues his beatdown.  Black finally makes a comeback and hits a huge springboard lariat for a near fall.  Black misses a moonsault but hits a standing Shooting Star press for a near fall.  Black goes up top and goes for the Phoenix Splash, but Jacobs avoids it and spears Black for a near fall.  Jacobs works over Black again, and starts to get frustrated when he can’t put him away.  Black gets his knees up to counter Jacob’s diving senton.  Black goes for the God’s Last Gift, but Jacobs locks in the End Time.  Black finally manages to escape it.  Jacobs avoids a kick and gets a schoolboy for a near fall.  Jacobs locks in the End Time again.  Black manages to turn into into a bridge to pin Jacobs at 13:51.  Good little match.

Next week: Nigel McGuinness takes on Jay Briscoe!

TNA Hardcore Justice: The Last Stand

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

Awesome opening video with photos and voice overs from the former ECW wrestlers.

TNA Wrestling presents Hardcore Justice: The Last Stand.

Ring announcer Stephen DeAngelis introduces Taz.  Taz comes out to the stage and cuts a promo on people who criticized the original ECW.  He finishes with his catch phrase, “Beat me if you can…”  The crowd supplies the “survive if I let you!”  For some reason, the arena lighting is all blue.  I don’t recall ECW ever looking like that.

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.

The FBI of Guido Maritato, Tracey Smothers, & Tony Luke (w/ Sal E. Graziano) vs. Kid Kash, Simon Diamond, & Johnny Swinger.  Guido and Kash start with mat wrestling.  Crowd chants “WHERE’S MY PIZZA?”  Guido and Kash have a nice wrestling exchange, then start shoving each other.  Tony Luke (can’t call him Mamaluke) and Swinger tag in.  Tenay mentions that there are names they can’t legally say.  They have a nice exchange, then Smothers and Diamond tag in and brawl.  Smothers drops an elbow and Diamond bails.  Diamond takes the mic to cut a promo in the middle of the match.  Crowd chants “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”  Diamond says “Come in here and make me.”  Diamond blames Kash for their team not being a well oiled machine, then Diamond challenges the FBI to a dance off.  Diamond and Swing dance like mentally challenged, sexually confused men.  Crowd chants “YOU CAN’T DANCE!”  Smothers says Michael Jackson just rolled over in his grave.  The FBI dances.  Seriously?  Big Sal dancing gets a big pop.  Diamond and Swinger jump the FBI and try to take down Sal, but Sal runs through both of them with a clothesline.  Everybody brawls outside just so Kid Kash can wipe everybody out with a huge flip dive.  Luke tries a dive, but Diamond and Swinger cut him off and work him over in the ring.  Kash hits Luke with a backbreaker for 2.  Luke nails Kash with a lariat.  Kash powerslams Luke into the turnbuckles.  Neat.  Guido tags in and cleans house.  Cross body on Kash gets 2.  Guido hits a side Russian leg sweep and a basement dropkick, but Swinger saves.  Tower of Doom spot out of the corner with Luke getting the worst of it.  Clusterfuck ensues.  Kash hits the Money Maker on Luke.  Guido hits the Sicilian Slice on Kash.  Diamond goes for a TKO, but Guido turns it into the Killswitch for the pin in 10:43.  Despite the dancing silliness, this was fun stuff.

Tenay and Taz talk.  Tenay says if Joey Styles was available, he would have gladly stepped aside.  Oh, how I wish Styles was available.  They announce that Jerry Lynn is injured, so Rob Van Dam will face Sabu tonight.

“Where are they now?” with Tod Gordon, Gary Wolfe, and The Blue Meanie.

AJ Styles and Angelina Love talk about their memories of ECW.

Al Snow yells at Head, making fun of the legal issues with this show.  Stevie Richards tries to calm him down.  Nova shows up.  Snow makes a Simon Dean reference.  Nova brings in a fake Blue Meanie.  They argue about using a fake guy.  Snow leaves.  Richards says he’s going to prove himself tonight.  A guy with a mini blow up doll shows up picking his nose.  He and fake Meanie pick each others’ noses.  That was retarded.

C.W. Anderson vs. 2 Cold Scorpio.  Sweet wrestling to start.  I’m always happy with that.  Scorpio offers a handshake, but Anderson spits in his hand.  They trade forearms.  Anderson grabs a side headlock.  Crowd chants “This is wrestling!”  Scorpio does the leapfrog, drop down, dropkick.  Scorpio sends Anderson outside and hits him with a dive.  Back inside, Scorpio hits a diving cross body for 2.  Anderson lands a superkick for 2.  Anderson works Scorpio’s arm.  Scorpio does a cool wrap around kick and lands some jabs.  Anderson ducks some kicks and lands a heavy blow that drops Scorpio cold.  Cover gets 2.  Cool cover sequence.  Anderson sends Scorpio to the apron and drops him with a forearm for 2.  Scorpio hits a rolling kick on the corner. then hits the Tumbleweed off the middle rope for 2.  Scorpio goes for a moonsault, but Anderson gets his knees up.  Anderson hits the spinebuster for 2.  Anderson hammers Scorpio.  Scorpio drops him with a kick and and hits a diving moonsault leg drop for the pin in 6:47.  Good little match.  They shake hands and make friends after the match.

TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne, Matt Morgan, and Ken Anderson talk about their memories of ECW, or as they call it, “the Philadelphia promotion.”

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam and Bill Alfonso talk backstage.  Alfonso looks old as shit and sounds drunk.  He promises to call it right down the middle tonight, then he blows that obnoxious whistle.

P.J. Polaco vs. Stevie Richards (w/ Nova & Blue Tillie).  Polaco is Justin Credible.  They lock up.  Polaco grabs a side headlock, then scores a knockdown with a shoulder block.  Repeat in reverse.  They trade chops.  Credible slides and hits his balls on the post.  Credible suplexes Stevie on the floor, then hits him with a slingshot splash.  Back inside, Credible hits a sit-out powerbomb for 2, then a DDT for 2.  Stevie sends Credible outside with a nasty bump.  “HOLY SHIT!” chants.  Nova and Tillie taunt Credible.  Crowd chants “WE WANT MEANIE!”  Stevie beats up Credible back inside.  Stevie hits a sidewalk slam and a sit-out powerbomb for 2.  Credible lands a kick for 2.  Credible hits the Tombstone, but lets him up at 2.  Credible gets distracted by Nova.  Credible taunts Stevie.  Stevie lands the superkick for the pin in 6:32.  Okay little match.  Credible attacks Stevie with the Singapore cane after the match.  The lights go out.  The Sandman appears and hits Credible with the White Russian leg sweep, then canes him.

“Where are they now?” with Francine and her baby daughter.

Taz puts over Francine.  Tenay takes a moment to acknowledge those who are no longer with us, but they don’t mention any names.

Three-Way Elimination Match: Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhino.  They all take turns locking up with each other, then we get a three-way headlock.  Rhino shoulder blocks Snow out of the ring.  Runt schoolboys Rhino for 0, then gets dropped with a clothesline.  Rhino sets up for the Gore, but Snow trips him.  Snow hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Runt.  Rhino beats up Snow, knocks him out of the ring, and beats up Runt.  Runt throws Rhino out of the ring and dives at both of them, but Rhino and Snow catch him and hit a big fall away slam on the ramp.  Back inside, Snow goes for a slingshot leg drop on Rhino, but Rhino avoids it.  Crowd chants “WE WANT HEAD!”  Snow hits the double underhook headbutts, then hits a moonsault press for 2.  They show TNA wrestlers watching backstage.  Rhino suplexes Snow, then Runt hits Snow with a diving double stomp.  Runt goes for the Acid Drop on Rhino, but Rhino tosses him across the ring.  Runt hits a headscissors.  Runt fights both Snow and Rhino.  He tries a double Acid Drop, but they throw him out of the ring.  Snow accidentally bumps the referee, then nails Rhino with Head.  Runt comes in with a chair and pulls the Eddie Guerrero trick.  Snow throws the chair down and plays dead too.  The referee is like WTF?  Heh.  While the referee disposes of the chair, Snow tries to use Head again.  Runt avoids it and hits the Acid Drop for the pin in 5:49.  Rhino immediately Gores Runt for the pin in 6:01.  Fun match.

Mick Foley is backstage reading Hulk Hogan’s new book.  He talks about the Raven/Dreamer feud.

Brutus Magnus and Chris Sabin talk about their ECW memories.

Axl Rotten & Kahoneys (Balls Mahoney) comes out.  Balls says they’re the most hardcore tag team in the business and they don’t have a match, so they issue an open challenge.  A very fat (even for him) Joel Gertner comes out with Team 3D (wearing the old school tie-dye (like Runt in the last match).  Gertner does one of his classic introductions.  Bubba calls Axl & Balls in the ring and says nobody wants to see them have a wrestling match and calls for a South Philadelphia Street Fight!

South Philadelphia Street Fight: Axl Rotten & Kahoneys vs. Team 3D (w/ Joel Gertner).  They brawl.  Bubba and Balls brawl outside while Devon and Axl actually do a tiny bit of wrestling in the ring.  They trade places, with Balls and Bubba brawling in the ring.  They keep doing a split screen so you can see both pairs of dudes fighting, which actually makes it harder to see anything.  Bubba hits Balls with one of the fan’s foam heads.  They all brawl in the crowd for a while.  They come back to the ring and bring in a bunch of weapons.  Balls cracks Bubba with a trash can lid and Bubba does a hilarious Flair flop.  Balls goes for the New Jersey Jam, but Bubba avoids it and nails him with a frying pan.  Axl comes in and beats up Bubba, then cracks him with a cookie sheet.  Axl brawls with Devon.  Bubba drops him with a boot.  Balls comes in twirling a FUCKING LIGHTSABER.  Crowd chants “USE THE FORCE!”  Fucking awesome.  Bubba gets a Lightsaber too and they have a sword fight.  Balls “stabs” Bubba and goes for his big punch, but Bubba hits him in the balls with the saber.  Bubba hits the punches and the bionic elbow.  Axl hits Bubba with a botched reverse DDT for 2.  Devon hits Axl with a reverse neckbreaker for 2.  Balls hits the Ball Breaker on Devon for 2.  Everybody squares off for a chair fight.  Balls and Axl get the better of it and get a double cover for 2.  Balls & Axl go after the referee, who hits them with a double clothesline to no avail.  3D hit Balls & Axl with chairs for 2.  3D hits the Wassup headbutt on Balls’ balls.  Bubba suggests that Devon get the table.  They set up the table, pour on some lighter fluid, and set it on fire.  3D powerbomb Balls through the table and Devon gets the pin in 11:56.  Fun comedy garbage match.  Bubba says they’re the greatest tag team in the world.  The Gangstas come out!  They brawl with 3D, then New Jack hits Gertner with a guitar.  The Gangstas, 3D, Balls, and Axl all hug and make friends.

Raven cuts a really good promo about his kayfabe history with Tommy Dreamer.

Jesse Neal and Kazarian talk about their ECW memories.

Brother Ray, Rob Van Dam, Jerry Lynn, Simon Diamond, Rhino, The Sandman, Stevie Richards, and Tommy Dreamer put over Joey Styles.

The Final Showdown: Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer.  Mick Foley is the referee.  Beulah McGillicutty is sitting in the front row next to Dixie Carter, along with her and Dreamer’s young twin daughters.  That isn’t going to end well.  Foley gives his instructions, which are “do whatever you like.”  Raven kicks Dreamer in the balls before the bell rings to get the jump on him.  Raven beats up Dreamer on the outside, giving him a side Russian leg sweep into the barricade.  Raven brings a chair into the ring and wedges it between the top and middle turnbuckles.  Dreamer reverses Raven into it.  They brawl outside some more.  Dreamer spits some kid of beverage into Raven’s face, then hits him with the can.  Dreamer sets up 2 chairs side by side and goes for a suplex, but Raven counters and hits the classic drop toe hold into the chairs.  Dreamer is bleeding.  Raven hits him with a chair an dbeats the shit out of him right in front of his kids.  Thankfully, they take the kids away.  Raven swings a chair, but hits the post.  Raven throws Dreamer into the steps.  Dreamer is a bloody mess now.  Raven does his pose to boos, then continues working Dreamer over.  Dreamer counters Raven and hits him with the drop toe hold onto the chair.  Dreamer grabs a sign from a fan that says “Tommy, use my sign” and nails Raven with it.  Dreamer rips the tape off the sign to reveal that it’s a “Dead End” road sign.  Dreamer suplexes Raven onto the sign.  Dreamer brings in a ladder.  Crowd chants “This is hardcore!”  Dreamer beats up Raven and bites his head.  Raven is a bloody mess too.  Dreamer hits the Albert decapitator on the ladder, which was propped up by the middle ropes.  “HOLY SHIT!” chants.  Dreamer sets Raven on the top rope and stands on the ladder.  Raven knocks him down and Dreamer crotches himself on the ladder.  Raven hits something for 2.  Raven goes for the DDT, but Dreamer counters and hits the Spiccoli Driver.  Crowd chants “LOUIE!”  Dreamer puts Raven in the tree of woe and stands on his balls.  Dreamer does the “E-C-W!” taunt and dropkicks the sign into Raven’s face.  Dreamer brings in a spool of barbed wire.  Dreamer does the crossface with the barbed wire.  Ugh.  Nova and Blue Tillie run in and attack Foley and Dreamer.  Nova hits Dreamer with a Flatliner, then helps Tillie to the top rope to go for a diving splash, but Dreamer moves.  Dreamer hits a DDT/neckbreaker on Tillie and Nova.  Raven hits the DDT on Dreamer for 2.  Raven bitches at Foley and shoves him.  Foley kicks Raven’s ass and gives him the Socko claw.  The nose picking dude from earlier comes in and hits a diving leg drop on Dreamer.  Foley kicks his ass and gives him the barbed wire Socko claw.  “HOLY SHIT!” chants.  Foley takes the dude (a fake Lupus, apparently) out of the arena or something.  Raven handcuffs Dreamer.  Raven picks up a chair.  Foley says not to do it because Dreamer is helpless.  Crowd chants “YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!”  Beulah runs out to try to reason with Raven.  Raven cracks Dreamer with the chair, then threatens Beulah.  Foley tries to take the chair away, but Raven low blows him and hits him with the chair.  Crowd chants “YOU’RE A PUSSY!”  Beulah hits Raven in the balls.  Dreamer hits a DDT despite being handcuffed for 2.  Really?  That’s not the finish?  Dreamer goes for it again, but Raven hits him in the knee with a chair.  Raven hits the DDT onto the chair for the pin in 17:00.  Pathetic.  Overbooked garbage wrestling for the sake of overbooked garbage wrestling.  This shit worked in 1995, but I don’t want to see it in 2010.  The bit with Dreamer’s kids was creepy and unnecessary.

Hype for this Thursday’s special iMPACT!

Jeremy Borash and So Cal Val are backstage hyping some shit.  The Gangstas show up.  New Jack tells Val “Once you go black, you get bad credit.”  Mustafa leaves with Val.  Jack says JB is his bitch now.  They leave.  WTF was that?

Taz, Al Snow, Rhino, Mick Foley, Raven, Stevie Richards, Simon Diamond, and Sandman put over Paul Heyman.

Non-Title: TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam (w/ Bill Alfonso) vs. Sabu (w/ Bill Alfonso).  Yes, Fonzie is managing both, so he actually goes through the trouble of walking out with both.  Sabu is BALD!  When the hell did that happen?  The morons chant “THIS IS CLASSIC!” before they even lock up.  They kind of lock up, then RVD goes outside to do his thumb pointing.  Alfonso encourages Sabu to do his pointing pose in response.  Fonzie is blowing that fucking whistle.  They finally lock up properly and wrestle a bit.  Stalemate, applause.  They do their poses.  They look like they’re having fun and the morons are enjoying it.  Fonzie throws in a chair and they fight over it.  Sabu throws it into Van Dam’s face, then springboards over it to hit him on the corner.  RVD takes a bump on the chair.  Cover gets 2.  RVD bails and Sabu hits a baseball slide dropkick that sends him into the crowd.  Sabu springboards over the chair and dives onto RVD in the crowd.  I’ve forgotten how bad I always wanted to shove that fucking whistle down Fonzie’s throat.  Back in the ring, cover gets 2.  Crowd chants “YOU FUCKED UP”! for some reason.  Sabu works over RVD and locks in a camel clutch with a chair.  Ouch.  THAT FUCKING WHISTLE.  Sabu tries to springboard over the chair again, but RVD dropkicks it into him.  Sabu is bleeding from the back of the head.  RVD hits a monkey flip that was intended to be on the chair, but they miss.  RVD throws the chair at Sabu’s face for 2.  Sabu hits a lariat for 2.  They both try a springboard and hit each other.  Fonzie comes in and gives them both some water to drink.  Crowd chants “WATER BREAK!”  Re-hydrated, they both bring in tables.  They lock up at ringside, then RVD hits the Rider kick off of the apron.  RVD drops Sabu across the barricade and hits the MOTHERFUCKING GUARDRAIL LEG DROP!  I love that move.  RVD hits a slingshot leg drop to the apron using a chair.  Cover gets 2.  RVD goes up top, but Fonzie throws Sabu a chair to throw at RVD.  Sabu hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner and RVD lands on the chair!  Fucking ouch.  Sabu hits the Arabian Facebuster for 2.  Crowd chants “YOU STILL GOT IT!”  Sabu locks in the camel clutch.  Sabu goes for the Triple Jump Moonsault, but RVD sends him face first into the chair.  RVD crotches Sabu on the top rope and has Fonzie hold the chair so he can hit the Van Assassinator (I guess).  RVD hits the split legged moonsault for 2.  I wish Fonzie would swallow that fucking whistle.  RVD sets up one of the tables.  Sabu throws a chair into his face.  Crowd chants “THIS IS AWESOME!”  It’s really not.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder with a chair.  Ouch.  Cover gets 2.  RVD hits the corner dropkick with the chair for 2.  Sabu hits a tornado DDT onto a chair.  Fucking ouch.  Cover gets 2.  Sabu hits the Atomic Arabian Facebuster.  Sabu goes for the Atomic Arabian Skull Crusher through a table, but RVD avoids it.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the pin in 17:13.  This was the spot fest you’d expect between these two, but at least they tried hard.  The hug and make friends after the match.

All of the former ECW guys come to the ring for a beer bash.  Even Dixie has a beer in the front row.  Crowd chants “FUCK YOU VINCE!”  Dreamer thanks Tenay and Taz, Atlas Security, the fans, and Dixie.  Brother Ray carries Dixie around the ring and the morons chant “DIXIE!”  This whole fucking company has to be a vanity project for her.  Dreamer says it was one hell of a PPV.

I guess it worked as a nostalgia show.  I didn’t hate anything until the semi-main event, so I guess that’s good.  Let’s just move on with our lives now.

TNA iMPACT! 8/5/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 7, 2010 by Grappleholic

The usual video package of recent goings on.

“There’s No Place Like Home”

iMPACT! open.  They don’t play that often.  Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer take on Abyss & Raven.  Taz promises surprises tonight.  That’s TNA for “letdown” and Russo for “swerve.”

Tommy Dreamer comes out and calls out Raven to explain himself.  Raven comes out to the stage.  Dreamer asks Raven why he turned on him last week.  Dreamer says his kids call Raven “Uncle Scotty.”  iMPACT! Zone mutants chant “Uncle Scotty.”  Raven is mad at Dreamer for stealing his woman.  Yes, they’re playing off a feud that started in another company 15 years ago.  Raven says Dreamer’s kids should be calling him “daddy.”  Raven says he’s going to cripple Dreamer and nail his woman.  Dreamer goes up the ramp and kicks Raven’s ass.  Abyss jumps Dreamer and tries to chokeslam him off the stage.  Rob Van Dam makes the save with a steel chair.  Raven DDTs Dreamer on the stage.  Mick Foley appears and hits Raven in the gut with a barbed wire bat.  Foley says he’s going to referee their match at Hard(core) Justice.

Tenay and Taz run down what’s on tap for TONIGHT!

The Beautiful People put the Knockouts Tag Team Championship on the line NEXT!  Commercials.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Match: The Beautiful People of Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich (c) vs. Taylor Wilde & Hamada.  Yay, Hamada is back!  Lacey shows her ass to Wilde, so Wilde schoolgirls her for 0.  They do some shit.  Hamada tags in and does as well as she can with rocks for brains Lacey.  Lacey nails a kick for 2.  In WWE, she’d be fired for having a jiggly ass.  Velvet comes in and works over Hamada.  BPs double team Hamada.  Lacey covers for 2.  Lacey does a back flip and misses an elbow.  She misses again.  Because she’s stupid.  Hamada lands some headbutts and tags in Wilde.  Wilde hits a German suplex hold and kind of loses her bridge.  Velvet saves.  Clusterfuck ensuses.  Do si do spot.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne and biker chick come out to distract every one.  BPs jump Wilde and Hamada.  Hamada and Velvet do some shit while Wilde and Lacey fight outside.  Velvet accidentally slaps the referee.  Hamada takes her outside.  Lacey and Wilde come in.  Biker chick hands Lacey a chair.  Wilde dropkicks it into her face for the pin in 4:17.  Even though this sucked, I’m glad Hamada is back, and even better, is a champion again!  Commercials.

TNA Television Championship Match: AJ Styles (c) (w/ Kazarian) vs. “The Freak” Rob Terry.  Earl Hebner ejects Kazarian before the match starts.  Terry clotheslines Styles and Kazarian both to the outside, press slams Styles back inside, then chases Kazarian to the back.  Styles tries a cheap shot, but Terry destroys him.  Terry throws Styles across the ring by the neck.  Styles throws some ineffective chops, then pokes Terry in the eye and shoves Hebner.  Styles grabs Hebner, then kicks Terry in the balls and lands the Pele kick.  Styles hits the springboard 450 splash for the pin in 2:49.  Neat little face big man vs. heel little man match.  Kazarian comes back out to celebrate with Styles.

Kurt Angle talks about his quest to go through the top 10.

Jay Lethal talks about his feud with Ric Flair while eating lunch.  They meet in a Street Fight TONIGHT!

Beer Money vs. Machine Guns in an Ultimate X Match is NEXT!

Hype for next week’s SUPER iMPACT! “The Whole F’N Show.”

Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne fight backstage while security tries to hold them apart.  Velvet accidentally KTFO’s Lacey in the process and shows concern.  It’d be hilarious if the bump to the head made her smarter.

Beer Money and The Motor City Machine Guns come out and Roode and Sabin cut promos on each other.  The match is next for real this time!  Commercials.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Best of 5 Series 4th – Ultimate X Match: The Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. Beer Money.  The Guns try to climb the structure immediately, but Beer Money cut them off.  Guns get their shine anyway.  Guns send Beer Money outside and hit dives on them.  Sabin goes for the win, but Storm cuts him off.  Guns double team Storm.  Shelley holds them both on a hold while Sabin climbs.  Beer Money cut him off again, but Shelley goes for it.  Beer Money hit him with the awesome catapult into a DDT.  Beer Money argue over who is going to climb.  Storm claims he’s been drinking, so Roode tries to climb.  Guns double team Storm and cut off Roode again.  Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick on Beer Money in the corner.  Shelley stands on Roode’s balls en route to climbing.  Storm hits a backdrop suplex on Sabin.  Beer Money pull Shelley down and go for the DWI.  He counters them and goes for the Shiranui on Roode.  He fails, but Storm hits a lung blower on Shelley.  Beer Money hit a double suplex.  BEER!  MONEY!  Roode is bleeding.  Beer Money send Sabin outside and double team Shelley.  Shelley hits Roode with an atomic drop off the top.  Roode goes for the X, but Shelley pulls him down and SPIKES him with a DDT.  Shelley jumps over Storm and hits Roode with a Ghetto Stomp.  Shelley gouges Roode’s eyes on the top rope, then goes for the X.  Storm pulls him down and hits a whirlybird neckbreaker.  Sabin coems back and in goes for the X.  Storm tries to cut him off, but Sabin hits a Frankensteiner off the top rope.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Sabin.  Storm tries to help Roode go for the prize.  Guns cut them both off.  “THIS IS AWESOME!” chant breaks out.  Shelley hits Storm with a Shiranui on the apron.  Fucking ouch.  Storm tries to hold onto the structure and walk the cable.  Sabin meets him in the middle.  Roode falls, crotches himself on the cable, and falls to the mat.  Sabin grabs the X to win it in 9:55.  The series is tied at 2-2.  Pretty good match.

Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher are headed our way!  Commercials.

Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher come out.  Bischoff talks about the card for next week’s special: Abyss vs. RVD for the World Title in a Stairway to Janice Match with Bischoff as the referee, Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money in the final of the series for the Tag titles, Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles, Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love for the Knockouts Title, Jeff Hardy’s open challenge, and Mr. Anderson vs. Matt Morgan vs. The Pope.  Kevin Nash comes out to bitch at them for whatever.  Hogan says they’re past their prime and it’s time for the young guys to shine.  If he would have had that thought 10 or 12 years ago, WCW may still be alive.  They talk about politics and whatever.  Nash quotes some movie and attacks Bichoff.  Hogan beats up Nash.  In 2010.  Nash kicks Hogan in the balls and knees him in the thigh a bunch.  Nash brings in a chair and teases powerbombing Hogan.  Bischoff tries to stop Nash, fails, but Nash decides not to anyway.  Nash prepares to hit Hogan with the chair, but Jeff Jarrett runs in and attacks Nash.  STING shows up (in Wolfpac face paint) and attacks Jarrett with the bat.  Nash clotheslines Jarrett with the bat and Sting clobbers Hogan with the chair.  Yay!  Commercials.

House show plugs.

Christy Hemme tries to talk to Sting and Kevin Nash, but they both blow her off.

Moments ago, all of that stuff a couple of lines up happened.

Orlando Jordan comes out being freaking with a lollipop.  He tries to put it So Cal Val’s mouth, but she escapes it this week.

Orlando Jordan vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  “POPE IS PIMPIN”! chants.  Jordan sucks on his finger and tries to touch Pope with it.  Pope shoves him away.  They lock up and do some mat wrestling.  Jordan grinds on Pope int he corner.  Pope kicks his ass.  Jordan catches Pope with a punch and grounds and pounds him.  Eric Young comes out and grabs some of the fake money that falls during Pope’s entrance.  This distracts Jordan for some reason.  Pope makes his comeback and hits the Elijah Express for the pin in 3:27.  Ugh.  Just… ugh.  Matt Morgan jumps Pope and lays him out.  Mr. Anderson runs out with a steel chair to run Morgan off.  Pope and Anderson argue.  Gunner and Murphy (the security geeks from last week) come out and threaten Anderson while the Pope just leaves.

Christy Hemme interviews Ric Flair.  Flair will be suspended if any member of Fortune interferes in his match tonight, but Flair is ready to go on his own.  Commercials.

Street Fight: Jay Lethal vs. Ric Flair.  Flair is SUITED UP! for the street fight.  Flair pokes Lethal in the eye and goes on the attack.  Flair hits Lethal in the balls and works his leg a bit.  Flair throws in some plunder.  Lethal goes under the ring, then surprises Flair with a springboard missile dropkick.  Lethal strips off Flair’s jacket and shirt and chops him.  Lethal hits a big backdrop, then hits him with a Singapore cane.  Lethal hammers Flair with chops and punches.  Flair is BUSTED WIDE OPEN and does a Flair flop.  TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams comes out for no apparent reason.  Flair gets hit with something and Flair does the flop again.  Flair gets his pants ripped to reveal ridiculous underwear.  Lethal whips Flair with his belt and throws Flair’s pants and sock to the crowd.  Flair his now in underwear, one sock, and one show.  Flair gets nailed with a trash can and does a third Flair flop.  Flair goes up top, but Lethal hits him with a metal cookie sheet and hits a superplex for 2.  Williams pulls Lethal out of the ring and gets nailed.  Lethal fucks up a diving sunset flip and pulls Flair’s drawers down.  Thankfully then pixelate Flair’s ass.  Williams nails Lethal with the belt behind the referee’s back.  Why the fuck do you need a referee distraction in a street fight?  Flair gets the pin in 6:41.  This was pretty fun.

Abyss & Raven are ready for action!  Commercials.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam, who has a hellish week ahead of him.  Jerry Lynn shows up and says he’ll be RVD’s opponent at the PPV.

Abyss & Raven vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer.  They brawl on the ramp before the match ever starts.  Abyss and Dreamer make it in the ring to start the match.  Dreamer hits Abyss from out of nowhere.  Dreamer suplexes RVD onto Abyss.  Raven chop blocks Dreamer’s knee.  Abyss squashes Dreamer in the corner.  It’s broken down into a tag match now.  Raven tags in and puts his snot rag in Dreamer’s face.  Raven works Dreamer’s face.  Ouch.  Abyss beats up Dreamer on the outside.  Raven covers for 2.  Abyss tags in and works over Dreamer.  Raven and RVD tag in.  RVD runs wild.  RVD kicks Abyss off the apron, then rams Raven’s head into the turnbuckle and hits the Rolling Thunder.  Abyss saves and tries to chokeslam RVD and Dreamer, but they clothesline him out of the ring.  Dreamer DDTs Raven.  RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Raven for the pin in 3:57.  That was a short main event, but fun while it lasted.

Abyss attacks RVD and Dreamer after the match.  Abyss chokeslams RVD, then tries to chokeslam Dreamer, but Stevie Richards makes the save.  He gets dropped, then Rhino makes the save and goes for the Gore, but Abyss drops him too.  Team 3D come out and go for the 3D, but Raven attacks them with a chair.  The lights go out and THE SANDMAN appears!  Sandman canes Raven, then canes the shit out of Abyss.  Mick Foley comes out and brings Al Snow, Pat Kenney, and Jerry Lynn with a cooler of beer.

Hardcore Justice hype video.

Hype video for next week’s special iMPACT!

This show was actually kind of fun.  I have no real complaints to make this week, so a good show by TNA standards.

ROH 4/12/10

Posted in ROH with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 19, 2010 by Grappleholic

Ring of Honor Wrestling on HDNet!

They show highlights of the Tyler Black/Roderick Strong/Austin Aries match from The Big Bang, where Black retained the ROH World Title.

Jim Cornette introduces the ROH World Champion Tyler Black.  Of course, this show was taped before The Big Bang and Black is still carrying the old belt.  They cover up the continuity errors by not specifying what World Title match we just saw footage from.  Black talks for a while.  Davey Richards comes out to tell Black he’s coming after the title.

ROH open.  Dave Prazak and Mike Hogewood are the announcers.

Same Jerry Lynn video package from last week.

We finally have a match!  Bobby Cruise is the ring announcer.

Jerry Lynn vs. Jake Manning.  The shake hands.  Manning cheap shots Lynn to get the upperhand.  “JERRY!” chants.  Lynn can still go at his age, which is pretty damned impressive.  They do some nice wrestling.  Manning avoids a reverse cradle and hot shots Lynn into the top rope for 2.  Manning attacks Lynn’s previously injured neck.  Crowd chants “YOU SUCK!”  Manning goes for a sleeper.  Lynn reverses it.  More stuff happens.  Manning hits a neckbreaker for 2.  Lynn hits an avalanche-style Frankensteiner and some clotheslines.  Lynn hits the cradle piledriver for the pin in 3:40.  Good little match.  Kyle Durden comes out to interview Lynn, who wants to fuck Kenny King’s shit all up.

Highlights of the Kings of Wrestling beating the Briscoe Brothers for the ROH World Tag Team Title at The Big Bang.

Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards in an ROH World Television Title Tournament Semifinal TONIGHT!

Kyle Durden interviews Steve Corino.

El Generico and Steve Corino come out for their match, but Corino is still wearing his suit.  Corino tells Generico is a loser and a masked freak, while Corino is a legend.  Corino continues to run down Generico for some time, forfeits the match, then runs him down some more.  Generico grabs Corino by his tie and kicks his ass.  Corino bails.  Generico wipes him out with a dive.  Geeks come out and separate them.  Generico wins a moral victory as well as a technical victory, I guess.

Hogewood gushes over El Generico, then the show highlights of the TV Title tournament.  Steen vs. Edwards is NEXT!

Hype for live events.

Christopher Daniels is back in ROH!

Earlier tonight, the beginning of the show happened.

Next week, Davey Richards takes on Kenny King in the other TV Title tournament semifinal!

Kyle Durden interviews Eddie Edwards (w/ Shane Hagadorn).  Kenny King interrupts.  He’s “the pretty boy pit bull,” eh?

Bobby Cruise is in the ring to introduce the main event.  The chick who comes out to hold the TV belt is there too… holding the TV belt.

ROH World Television Championship Tournament – Semifinal: Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards (w/ Shane Hagadorn).  Before the opening bell, Steen talks for a while about their history, then attacks Edwards’ previously injured elbow to start the match.  Edwards hits a “desperation” dive to the outside and makes a comeback.  Steen avoids a baseball slide dropkick and attacks the elbow again.  He throws a chair into the ring to distract the referee, then uses another chair to hit the arm against the post.  Finally back inside the ring, Steen continues working on the arm.  Edwards rocks Steen with an enzugiri, then hit a Frankensteiner,  Steen avoids Edwards in the corner and Edwards spears the post.  Steen attacks the elbow some more.  Steen hits a Swanton Bomb for 2.  Steen clotheslines Edwards’ arm, then Edwards manages to hit a German suplex that Steen takes a front bump from.  Edwards gets rolling.  Steen cuts him off and beats him up some more.  Edwards his a crazy diving Codebreaker for 2.  That was awesome.  Edwards hits a diving stomp to Steen’s back for 2.  Steen fights out of a half crab attempt and powerbombs Edwards for 2.  Steen goes up top again.  Edwards cuts him off.  They fight, then Edwards goes for a backpack Stunner.  Steen counters and locks in a crossface, then lets go when El Generico comes out.  Edwards gets an inside cradle for the pin in 10:32.  It was fine.  Crowd chants “OLE!  OLE!  OLE!  OLE!” at Steen.

Richards vs. King next week!

Another disappointing ROH TV show.

ROH 4/5/10

Posted in ROH with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 16, 2010 by Grappleholic

ROH open.  Tonight, Jay Briscoe takes on Chris Hero in a Pick 6 Challenge Series match!  What the fuck is that?

Dave Prazak and Mike Hogewood are the announcers.  Bobby Cruise is the ring announcer.

Steve Corino (w/ Kevin Steen) vs. Bobby Shields.  Corino reluctantly shakes Shields’ hand, then talks shit.  Shields does well early, hitting a couple of armdrags and a dropkick, causing Corino to bail.  Outside, Corino sends Shields into the barricade a couple of times.  Corino beats up Shields back inside.  Corino hits a Beach Break of all things.  Colt Cabana walks out to distract Corino, allowing Shields to make his comeback.  Corino drops Shields with a Complete Shot and hits a sliding lariat for the pin in 3:19.  Fine for what it was.  Corino calls for Cabana to come into the ring.  Cabana is ready to fight, but Corino just wants to talk to him.  Crowd chants “BULLSHIT!”  Corino gives Cabana his “last warning.”  Cabana kicks Corino’s ass and throws him out of the ring.

Prazak and Hogewood explain that the Big Bang has already happened by the time this show aired, but the show was already in the can.

Tyler Black/Austin Aries/Roderick Strong video package.

The Dark City Fight Club vs. The Set.  DCFC destroy The Set.  I don’t know who any of these people are.  DCFC hit a modified Total Elimination, then kill the skinny white member of the Set with a double team move and the DCFC member who wears trunks gets the pin in 1:27.  Jon Davis pinned Lance Lude.  It took me like 10 minutes to figure that out.

Jerry Lynn video package.  They show clips of his return match against Kenny King at the California show.  He returns to TV next week!

Erick Stevens (w/ Prince Nana & Ernie Osiris) vs. Pelle Primeau.  Pelle fails to get anything going, then does a head scissors.  Stevens bails.  Pelle tries a dive, but Stevens catches him and rams him into the post.  Stevens beats up Primeau.  Primeau fights back.  Stevens flapjacks him, then clamps on a bear hug.  Stevens hits a weird suplex.  Primeau hits a rana.  Stevens hits a slam and DDTs himself.  Primeau hits a springboard Bombs Away and a double stomp for 2.  Primeau goes for a jumping DDT, but gets caught a suplexed.  Stevens kills Primeau with a lariat, then hits the Doctor Bomb for the pin in 4:07.  Third squash in a row.  Pelle did get in a little offense, though.  The Embassy beats down Primeau after the match.  Necro Butcher, who is banned from TV, comes in through the crowd with a chair.  The Embassy bails.  They cut away, since Necro Butcher is banned from TV.  But it’s a taped show, so why even show Necro being on TV at all?

The announcers apologize for that stupidity, then they show highlights from the first round of the World Television Title tournament.  The semifinals are next week!

Pick 6 Challenge Match: Chris Hero (w/ Claudio Castagnoli, Shane Hagadorn, & Sara Del Rey) vs. ROH World Tag Team Champion Jay Briscoe (w/ ROH World Tag Team Champion Mark Briscoe).  Briscoe half asses the handshake, but technically follows the Code of Honor.  They lock up and do some wrestling.  That’s always a joy to see.  They go back and forth on the mat for the first couple of minutes, so I automatically love this match.  They get to their feet and wrestle a bit more, then start taking turns shoulder blocking each other.  Hero knees Jay in the middle.  Jay drops Hero with a shoulder block, then hits him with a series of strikes.  Jay hits a rana and a double stomp and beats up Hero some more.  Hero bails.  Claudio fans Hero with his jacket.  Heh.  Hero comes back in and gets beaten up some more.  Jay rolls through a sunset flip and hits a dropkick for 2.  Hagadorn grabs Jay’s boot.  Hero throws Jay out of the ring, where the heels get their shots in before Mark chases them off.  Hero kicks Jay from the apron, then throws him back in the ring and beats him up some more.  Hero hits some elbows for 2.  Jay makes his comeback and hits a backdrop suplex after pulling Hero’s hair.  Jay hits Hero with some strikes.  Jay hits a big boot for 2.  Hero dumps Jay with almost a Regal Plex.  Jay hits a Death Valley Driver out of nowhere for 2.  Hero rocks Jay with an elbow smash.  Jay hits a spinebuster, but fails to capitalize.  They get back to their feet and Hero bails after taking a Complete Shot into the middle turnbuckle.  Jay hits a suicide flip dive onto Hero and Claudio at ringside.  Back inside, Jay hits a diving cross body for 2.  They trade strikes.  Hero hits a series of elbows.  Jay catches him with a superkick for 2.  Jay goes for the J-Driller, but Hero counters and squashes an attempted sunset flip for 2.  Hero nails an elbow smash for 2.  Hero goes for a neckbreaker, but Jay turns it into a backslide for 2.  Hero hits another elbow smash for another 2 count.  Del Rey distracts the referee.  Mark Briscoe distracts the referee.  Some shits happens.  Mark chases Claudio out of the arena.  Hero hits another elbow smash for the pin in 14:11.  They did a lot of shit, but it didn’t really flow for me.  Mark Briscoe runs back out and throws a chair at Hero.

Ugh.  Another mediocre ROH TV show.