Archive for Jamie Noble

WWE Superstars 6/4/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, Superstars open, pyro, then Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Superstars!  Tonight, Jeff Hardy & R-Truth take on Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler!  But first…

Goldust & Hornswoggle vs. Brian Kendrick & Jamie Noble.  If there was any justice in this world, Kendrick and Noble would be a top tag team, because they’re both awesome.  Unfortunately, they’re just here to job to the freak family.  Hornswoggle puts on Kendrick’s ring jacket and parades around in it while Goldust starts the match.  Goldust gets the better of Noble, so Kendrick tags in the show him how it’s done and gets the his arm punished.  Hornswoggle tags in and gets beat up by Kendrick.  Noble is reluctant to beat up Hornswoggle, so Kendrick continues to bully him.  Hornswoggle makes a comeback and makes the hot tag.  Obligatory “Vintage Goldust” line from Cole.  Goldust suplexes an interfering Noble out of the ring.  Kendrick goes for the Kendrick, but Goldust hits the the spinning brainbuster (I forget what he calls it) and tags in Hornswoggle, who hits the tadpole splash on Kendrick for the win at 3:40.  Fun little match, I guess.

John Cena/Big Show video package, then commercials.

Back from break, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews, and the ECW Champion, Christian, are at the commentary table.

David Hart Smith (w/ Tyson Kidd & Natalya) vs. Tommy Dreamer.  Smith controls early.  Tommy gets a quick schoolboy, then nails Smith in the face and starts to build momentum with some unorthodox offense.  Smith starts to get the better of it on the outside, but he takes his eyes off the ball to look at Christian, which allows Tommy to dive off the apron and nail him as we go to commercial!  I try to sneak a quick restroom break, and when I come back Smith has the advantage.  Dreamer fights back and applies the Texas Cloverleaf, which is incorrectly identified by the announcers as a Sharpshooter.  Christian accidentally provides the distraction for Tyson Kidd to interfere with a kick to Dreamer, which allows Smith to get the pin at 8:45.  Commercials.

Jim Ross and Todd Grisham take over commentary duties.  They introduces a Jeff Hardy/Edge video package, then pimp the rest of the Extreme Rules card.

Chris Jericho comes down for the main event, but first cuts a promo on Rey Mysterio.  Commercials!

Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler vs. Jeff Hardy & R-Truth.  Ziggler gets the better of Hardy on the opening exchange.  Jeff fights back, but Jericho attacks him from behind and sends him into the guardrail to let the bad guys get the advantage.  Lukewarm tag to R-Truth, he comes in against Jericho.  He’s fired up to start, but gets taken down as we take what is hopefully our final commercial break.  We come back to Truth playing face in peril.  He takes the beating for a while, then makes the hot tag to Hardy, who hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb on Ziggler for the win at 11:36.

Fun show.  Should I punish myself by watching Impact now?

WWE ECW 3/17/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

Cold open this week.  Finlay and Hornswoggle arrive and meet Teddy Long, clad in St. Patrick’s day attire.  Hornswoggle disappears to cause mischief.  ECW open.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to wherever the hell we are.  They taped last night, so I guess it’s San Antonio.

Christian & MVP vs. WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas).  MVP and Benjamin start.  They’ll wrestle for the title this week on Smackdown.  Commercial.  Steve Austin Hall of Fame commercial.  Back to the match, where Henry has MVP in a bearhug.  MVP plays face in peril for a while.  He counters a Paydirt attempt with an overhead belly-to-belly and makes the hot tag to Christian.  Christian hits his reverse DDT on Benjamin for a near fall, decks Mark Henry on the apron, hits a monkey flip and a sunset flip out of the corner for a near fall.  Christian hits a tornado DDT and covers, but Mark Henry comes in and pulls him off the cover.  MVP comes in and he and Christian deal with Henry.  Christian decks Tony Atlas, but Benjamin hits him with the Paydirt for the win at 8:56.  Good match.

12 Rounds plug.  I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS MOVIE and it hasn’t even come out yet.

Finlay looks for Hornswoggle and finds DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox, who are dancing.

EVAN F’N BOURNE RETURNS TONIGHT!

WrestleMania XX video from last night or last week or whenever the hell they showed it.

Jamie Noble vs. Evan Bourne.  FUCK YEAH!  Awesome fast paced match.  Tyson Kidd and Natalya watch backstage.  Noble slows Bourne down by putting him in a facelock.  Bourne escapes and knees Noble in the face, then hits a swank rana.  Bourne hits a standing moonsault for a near fall.  Bourne heads to the top rope.  Noble stops him but gets kicked in the face a few times.  Bourne hits the Shooting Star press for the win at 2:56.  That ruled for a few minutes.  I want Bourne vs. Tyson Kidd!

Finlay finds Hornswoggle throwing stuff at Katie Lea.  Commercial.

Randy Orton/Triple H hype video.

Smackdown’s 500th episode this Friday night!

ECW Champion Jack Swagger comes out so the fans can look at him, then leaves.  That was pointless.

Tiffany convinces Teddy Long to have a divas night on ECW.  Paul Burchill and Katie Lea barge in to bitch about Hornswoggle.  Long books Burchill vs. Finlay tonight.

Tonight: The Dirt Sheet!

Edge/Vickie/Show/Cena stuff from Raw last night.

Paul Burchill (w/ Katie Lea) vs. Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle).  Finlay destroys Burchill as Hornswoggle bothers the announcers.  Finlay sends a charging Burchill out of the ring, but then the distraction allows Burchill to get a cheap shot and get the advantage.  Finlay gets beat up for a bit, then hits the Celtic Cross for the win at 3:05.

The Dirt Sheet is NEXT!

Undertaker/Michaels hype.

12 Rounds hype.  WHY DO THEY HAVE TO HYPE THIS FUCKING MOVIE 2-4 TIMES EVERY FUCKING SHOW?

The Dirt Sheet.  I’ve never seen one of these.  World Tag Team Champions The Miz and John Morrison with the Bella Twins.  Brie seems unhappy to be there, while Nikki seems happy.  They show Miz and Morrison beating Carlito and Primo on Smackdown last week.  Miz and Morrison put on masks of butts with afros.  WWE Tag Team Champions The Colons come down and bring the Carlito’s Cabana set.  The Colons challenge Miz & Morrison to a tag title unification match at WrestleMania, and they accept.  The Colons spit apples at Miz and Morrison but miss and hit the Bella that likes Miz and Morrison.  She shoves the Bella who likes Primo and Carlito.  CATFIGHT!  Each team ends up with one of the twins.  Fin.  Fun show.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/23/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then a replay of last week’s big closing angle, in which Randy Orton RKO’d Stephanie McMahon and incurred the wrath of her husband (that they’re finally acknowledging on TV), Triple H.

Justin Roberts (where’s Lillian?) introduces the ever annoying Smackdown GM, Vickie Guerrero.  She says that since there are no more McMahons, she’s now the GM of Raw too.  Fuck.  John Cena comes out.  I’ve never been so happy to see him.  Cena makes fun of Michael Cole, who’s at the commentary table with Jerry Lawler.  Cena says he’s going to cash in his rematch clause to get his title shot against Edge tonight.  World Heavyweight Champion Edge comes out with Big Show.  Cena tells Edge to stand up like a man and be a champion.  Edge blabs for a while, then Cena makes a funny comment.  Something like, “You’re only running your mouth because you’re standing here with that 400 pound beast, and you brought Big Show too.”  Show tells Cena to respect Vickie.  Cena speculates that Show is there to pick up Edge’s slack in the bedroom.  Vickie says Cena will either face her family or her friend tonight.  Cena says either is fine with him.  It’ll probably be some lame handicap match with Cena vs. Edge, Show, & Chavo.

Tonight, CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz in a triple threat Money In The Bank Qualifying match.

Legacy arrives at the building.  Why aren’t they at work on time like everyone else?

Tonight, JBL vs. Shawn Michaels with the winner facing Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Non-Title, Money In The Bank Qualifying Triple Threat Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion CM Punk vs. World Tag Team Champion John Morrison vs. World Tag Team Champion The Miz.  The briefcase is hanging above the ring, just for the hell of it.  Punk tries to pin Miz quickly with an inside cradle, but Morrison breaks it.  Miz and Morrison double team Punk.  Punk fights back and nails Miz with a kick that sends him off the apron.  A clothesline from Miz takes he and Punk both out of the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, Morrison is stretching Punk in the ring.  During the break, Miz was taken out with a cross body off the steps from Punk and a friendly fire Shooting Star press off the apron from Morrison.  Punk fights back with kicks and knees.  Miz comes back in and nails Punk, then works him over.  Morrison is out from Punk’s corner knee kick.  Morrison comes back in and Punk takes them both down.  He hits a powerslam on Morrison, but Miz saves.  Miz gets Morrison up on his shoulders and Morrison hits a Doomsday Device-style Moonlight Drive.  Miz covers, but Morrison breaks it.  Morrison covers, but Punk kicks out.  Morrison and Miz fight with each other.  Punk grabs Morrison and uses his legs to knock Miz out of the ring, then hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pin on Morrison at 10:26.  Pretty good little match.  Straightedge to the bank two years in a row!

Last week on Smackdown, Jim Ross did a sit down interview with Triple H.  Next, they’ll replay it.

As promised, we get Triple H’s interview from Smackdown.  He says Orton crossed the line when he RKO’d Triple H’s wife.

Todd Grisham is outside Orton’s dressing room, hoping for an interview.  Dibiase and Rhodes come out.  Rhodes says the McMahons are responsible for what happened to them.  Dibiase says Orton will address his actions tonight, and if Triple H wants to get involved, they’ll be ready.

Santino, Beth, Rosa, and Dolph Ziggler are heading to the ring after the first good Santino segment in over a month at least.

WWE Rewind: Last week, Melina beat Beth Phoenix to retain the Women’s Championship when the face Divas came out to neutralize Santino and Rosa.

There are guys in the parking lot waiting for Triple H to show up.

Cryme Tyme & WWE Women’s Champion Melina vs. Santino Marella, Dolph Ziggler, & Beth Phoenix (w/ Rosa Mendez).  The ladies start.  Beth picks Melina up.  Melina fights back, then falls on her ass.  Tags to Ziggler and JTG.  They have a really nice exchange.  JTG does that facebuster that I always think is going to be a monkey flip.  Ziggler fights back and beats him down.  Santino wants in.  JTG gets in a shot and makes the hot tag to Shad, who kicks Ziggler’s ass.  Ziggler finally tags in Santino.  Santino pumps himself up, charges Shad, and promptly gets STO’d by Shad for the pin at 3:57.

Shawn Michaels vs. JBL is NEXT!

WrestleMania hype video.

Cena is backstage wondering who he’s facing tonight.  They play the trailer for his new movie.

JBL vs. Shawn Michaels.  They block up, then Shawn jumps on JBL and starts throwing punches.  The match goes back and forth for a while.  JBL knocks Michaels out of the ring.  He follows Shawn out and tries to throw him into the ring post, but Michaels reverses and sends JBL in head first.  They barely beat the count back into the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, JBL goes for a superplex.  Michaels fights him off, but then takes a boot to the face and nasty bump to the floor.  Michaels makes it back in and kicks out of JBL’s clothesline.  I remember when that used to be a killer finish.  He ducks another attempt and does the elbow smash followed by the nip up, a pair of atomic drops, a body slam, and the diving elbow.  JBL avoids the superkick and misses the lariat.  Michaels does the Flair flip in the corner, then gets thrown over but skins the cat back in.  JBL gives him a boot and taunts him.  JBL goes for the lariat again, but Michaels catches him flush with the superkick for the win at 13:01.  Not bad.  Vladimir Kozlov comes down and stares down Shawn.  Apparently now he and Shawn will face each other next week, with the winner jobbing to Taker at Mania.  Michaels takes a swing at Kozlov and gets laid out with the spinebuster.  Crowd boos Kozlov big.

Legacy are suiting up in the back.  Commercial.

This week on Smackdown, the Hardy Boyz EXPLODE!

WrestleMania hype video: WrestleMania 24.

Jamie Noble is in the ring, saying he’ll last longer against his opponent tonight than he did last week.

Jamie Noble vs. Mike Knox.  Knox wins with his finish in 30 seconds according to my clock, 29 according to WWE’s.

2009 Hall of Fame Inductees: Steve Austin and Dory & Terry Funk.  New inductee: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat!  I fully approve, as he’s one half of my favorite match ever.  He’ll be inducted by the other half of that match, Ric Flair!

Cole introduces Ricky Steamboat.  He says winning the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania III was the highlight of his career, and going into the Hall of Fame is the greatest highlight of his life.  That’s gotta be hyperbole.  Chris Jericho comes out as everyone expected.  Jericho’s happy Mickey Rourke didn’t win an Oscar.  Hey says Steamboat sold out when he came to WWE, bring up his cartoonish Dragon character from the early 90s.  He says Steamboat is the biggest hypocrite of them all.  Steamboat mentions signing an autograph 20 years ago for a young Jericho, who was a big fan of him.  Steamboat cuts a long promo on him, then Jericho cheap shots him and leaves him laying.

Earlier tonight… Vickie told Cena he’d face her friend or her family tonight.  It’s NEXT!

In the middle of a commercial, they show a long dark shot of the Raw arena for no reason.

Cole and Lawler explain that it was technical difficulties.  Grisham says Triple H still hasn’t arrived.

Cena comes out for his match.  Vickie says he doesn’t get a title shot tonight.  Cena says he’s going to follow Vickie around until she grants him his title shot.  Cena’s opponent is… Chavo Guerrero!

John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.  Cena wins in 46 seconds with the F-U and the STFU… er, the Attitude Adjustment and the STF.

Legacy is heading to the ring.  Orton has a sledgehammer.

Tomorrow night on ECW: Jack Swagger vs. Christian for the ECW Championship.

Next week, Michaels vs. Kozlov with the winner jobbing to Taker at WrestleMania.

Legacy comes out to the ring.  Orton cuts his promo, again blaming his explosive diarrhea for his actions.  WWE Champion Triple H finally arrives at the arena and comes out in full pissed off psycho mode, sledgehammer in hand.  Orton tries to reason with him, going as far as to drop his sledgehammer out of the ring.  Triple H reciprocates the gesture.  Triple H comes up with another sledgehammer, nails Rhodes, then chases Orton and Dibiase to the back, where they find lots of locked doors.  They barricade themselves in the locker room.  Triple H bashes down the door with the sledgehammer and corners them.  Dibiase ducks a swing that could have decapitated him, then gets nailed in the back with a safe shot.  Orton ducks a hammer throw and Triple H breaks the dressing room mirror.  I guess if he drops the belt at Mania, he can blame it on bad luck.  Orton and Dibiase make it to their car.  Triple H smashes a window, but they get away.  Fade to black.

Fun show overall.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/16/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open, then Lillian Garcia introduces the General Manager of Smackdown, Vickie Guerrero.  She in turn introduces, Edge, who in a strange turn of events last night at No Way Out became World Heavyweight Champion.  As they make their way to the ring, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us LIVE to Spokane, Washington.

Edge throws out some possibilites as to what the R in Rated R Superstar stands for, then he says all the fans were wrong when they thought he was done for the night after he lost the WWE Championship last night.  Then he runs around and acts like a moron.  Vickie tries to speak over loud boos.  She says that since Stephanie McMahon left No Way Out to accompany Shane to the hospital, she became the highest ranking WWE official there.  She says that since Kofi Kingston was physically unable to participate in the Elimination Chamber match, she used her authority to give his slot to someone deserving.  She fails to mention that Edge was the one who made Kofi physically unable to enter the Chamber.  Then she gives her annoying “excuse me” line, and she and Edge make out.  Gross.  Cena’s music hits.  He’s all smiles, even though he lost the title last night after taking everybody’s finish.  Cena congratulates Edge and says he won the match last night fair and square.  He then mentions another possibility for what the R could stand for: Rematch.  Edge says no, because he wrestled in two Elimination Chamber matches last night.  Cena tells them to go back to Smackdown and say hello to Festus and Funaki for him, then gets sick at the thought of Edge and Vickie being intimate together.  Edge recaps his history with Cena, bringing up the time he slapped Cena’s dad.  Cena tells Edge he can’t hide or run from him.  I’m guessing we get Cena/Edge #849 at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon is backstage.  He challenges Randy Orton to an unsanctioned fight tonight.  Commercial.

WrestleMania hype commercial.

WWE Intercontinental Champion CM Punk & Cryme Tyme vs. William Regal (w/ Layla), Ted Dibiase Jr., & Cody Rhodes.  Punk and Cody start.  They trade hammerlocks.  Cody slams Punk, the Punk nails him with a kick and hits the Go 2 Sleep.  Regal attacks Punk before he can make the cover.  Commercial.  When we come back, the bad guys are getting heat on Punk.  Half assed hot tag to JTG.  Dibiase hits a new version of his move, called the Dream Streak, on JTG for the win at 8:10.  Weak match, with not nearly enough shown on TV.

Stephanie tries to talk Shane out of fighting Orton tonight.  Shane says the fight is happening tonight whether Orton wants it or not.

No Way Out highlight video.

Tonight: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix for the Women’s Championship.

Chris Jericho is in the ring, ripping into Mickey Rourke, then Wrestling Legends in general.  “Rowdy” Roddy Piper comes out.  He puts over Jericho for always speaking his mind and backing it up in the ring.  Now, however, he spends his time blasting legends.  Piper goes on about old times and the life of a legend.  Jericho gets a cheap shot and kicks Piper in the ribs a few times while berating him.

Todd Grisham is backstage with Randy Orton.  Orton says he’ll fight Shane tonight, and he won’t need Dibiase and Rhodes to help him.

Another WrestleMania video, this one highlighting WrestleMania IX.

Jamie Noble is in the ring.  He talks about Chavo Guerrero only lasting nine (WWE for eleven) seconds against Kane at WrestleMania last year.  He said he could last longer, so Kane comes out so we can find out.

Kane vs. Jamie Noble.  Noble tries to fight, but Kane hits the chokeslam for the win at 15 seconds.  Hey, he did last longer than Chavo!

The announcers talking about Shawn Michaels winning his freedom from JBL last night.  JBL (w/ black eye) is on his way to the ring to make an announcement.

Christian returned on ECW last week, and he’s focused on Jack Swagger’s ECW Championship!

Tonight: Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon in an unsanctioned fight!

JBL comes out.  He doesn’t own Michaels anymore, and doesn’t care.  He’s richer than us.  JBL says he wants to end The Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania.  Shawn Michaels comes out, and he’s got his HBK strut back.  He blathers for a while, then gets to the point: He should be the one to face Undertaker at WrestleMania.  They agree to face each other next week, with the winner challenging Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Video package recapping the Orton vs. McMahons angle.  Orton and Shane fight TONIGHT!

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox.  Mysterio was pretty much a one man show last night.  He carried the Raw Chamber match.  Knox beats on Rey and throws him out of the ring.  Commercial.  Back from break, Knox beats on Mysterio.  Rey tries to fight back, but keeps getting shut down.  Mysterio finally manages to escape a bear hug and makes his comeback.  Mysterio hits the 619, but misses the Bombs Away.  Knox catches Mysterio springboarding off the ropes and ties him to the Tree of Woe.  Rey dodges a charging Knox and schoolboys him for the win at 9:43.

Beth, Santino, and Rosa are heading to the ring!

Saturday Night’s Main Event DVD!  BUY IT!  I have it.  I’ll watch it one of these days.

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Melina (c) vs. Beth Phoenix (w/ Santino Marella & Rosa Mendez).  Beth attacks Melina with vigor from the opening bell.  Santino has a bit of a new look.  Beth gets a near fall off of a slingshot suplex, then stretches her.  Melina fights back, but takes a vicious backbreaker.  Beth sends Melina out of the ring and distracts the referee while Rosa takes a shot at her.  Mickie James, Candice Michelle, and Kelly Kelly come out and beat up Santino.  Melina gets back in the ring and pins Beth win an inside cradle at 2:51.

Cole and Lawler hype the 2009 Class of the Hall of Fame.  Steve Austin has already been announced.  Joining him in the Hall of Fame are the Funk brothers, Dory and Terry!  They were the only brothers to both be NWA World Heavyweight Champion.  They will be inducted by Dusty Rhodes.  Commercial!

ECW tomorrow night: Christian & Finlay vs. Jack Swagger & Mark Henry.

Stephanie is on the phone urging someone to hurry up and get to the arena.  The call gets dropped.  Damned AT&T.

Next week: JBL vs. Michaels with the winner earning the right to be the next victim of Taker’s streak at WrestleMania.

Shane McMahon and Randy Orton come out and fight.  Shane kills Orton and sets up for the Van Terminator, then Dibiase and Rhodes run in and beat up Shane.  Orton punts Shane.  Stephanie comes out to check on Shane.  Orton RKOs Stephanie.  He looks shocked at what he did.  That explosive diarrhea must have kicked in again.  Triple H runs down and checks on Stephanie as Legacy bails, so I guess they’re finally going to admit that they are married.  Triple H is either mad or retarded.  Fade to black.

WWE ECW 2/10/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.  A couple of weeks ago, Hornswoggle stole Jack Swagger’s ECW Championship belt.  Swagger pushed Hornswoggle and got his ass kicked by Finlay.  Last week, Finlay had a hand from Hornswoggle in handing Swagger is first defeat.

Matt Striker and Todd Grisham welcome us LIVE to Fresno, California as Jack Swagger makes his way to the ring.  He has to defend the title against Finlay at No Way Out, but tonight he’s calling out Hornswoggle!  However, the music that plays is a remixed version of “Just Close Your Eyes.”  It’s the returning Christian, who makes his way to the ring with a nice (not huge, but nice) response from the crowd.  Captain Charisma makes fun of Swagger’s lisp, then issues a challenge to the winner of the Swagger/Finlay No Way Out title match.  Swagger says Christian is not a threat to him, so Christian nails him with the microphone.  Instant commercial.

Moments ago: Christian nailed Jack Swagger with a microphone!

Swagger complains to Teddy Long and says he’s taking the rest of the night off.  Long says no, Swagger has a match tonight with Christian!

Tommy Dreamer is in the ring.  Last week, Miz and Morrison made fun of him, then beat him up.

Tommy Dreamer vs. World Tag Team Champion The Miz (w/ John Morrison).  Dreamer throws a weak punch, then awkwardly takes him down.  Tommy goes to ringside and makes Miz take a bump into the guardrail, then throws him back in.  Miz takes over briefly, then Tommy hits a backdrop suplex.  Tommy has a flurry of offense and gets a near fall with a Sky High-type move.  Dreamer hits a neckbreaker off the ropes and covers, but Miz gets a foot on the ropes.  A distraction from Morrison allows Miz to hit the Reality Check (I think) for the win at 3:08.

Tonight: Christian vs. Jack Swagger!

WWE Slam of the Week: Last week, the Boogeman squashed Jamie Noble.  Noble bailed before he got the worm treatment

Teddy Long is chatting with Tiffany in his office when Noble comes in.  Long offers him a rematch with Boogeyman, but Noble doesn’t want that.  He wants better treatment since he’s a huge superstar.  There’s a knock on the door.  It’s Natalya and TJ Wilson, who is going by the name Tyson Kidd.  They put over that he was trained in the Dungeon by Bret Hart.  Sure he was.  Was he?

No Way Out: Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels vs. JBL, a couple of Elimination Chamber matches, and Finlay vs. Jack Swagger.

Christian is getting ready when Finlay and Hornswoggle come in.  Finlay welcomes Christian to ECW, but warns him that after No Way Out, he’s going to have to go through him if he wants the ECW Title.

WrestleMania is 54 days away!

Evan Bourne returns… when?

Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya) vs. Bao Nguyen, whose name is way to difficult a name for a one shot jobber to have.  Bao goes a hammer lock to start, then Kidd kicks his ass.  Kidd nails a kick right to Bao’s face!  Kidd wins at 1:30 with a swank springboard elbow drop.  Jamie Noble appears at the top of the ramp to stare at Kidd and Natalya.  That should be a good one for next week.  Kidd was impressive.

Swagger vs. Christian is NEXT!

Raw Rebound: Orton talked, then wrestled Undertaker.  Legacy ran in and the three of them beat down Taker until Shane McMahon made the save.  Yes, Shane McMahon saved UNDERTAKER.

Non-Title: ECW Champion Jack Swagger vs. Christian.  Swagger out wrestles Christian to start, then Christian nails him.  Finlay and Hornswoggle comes down to join the announcers as we take an instant commercial break, during which Swagger took over and press slammed Christian out of the ring.  Back in the ring now, Swagger is beating up Christian.  Christian starts making a comeback when he hits a tornado DDT for a near fall.  He hits his reverse DDT and goes for either his frog splash or a headbutt, but misses.  Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Swagger counters and gets a near fall off of an Oklahoma roll, then a  belly-to-belly suplex.  They tease a German off the apron, but Swagger ends up being knocked off and into the announce table.  Swagger throws Christian over the table into Finlay and Hornswoggle.  Back in the ring, Swagger exposes the turnbuckle, but Christian gets him with an inside cradle for a near fall.  Hornswoggle provides a distraction, allowing Finlay to hit Swagger with the stick I can’t spell.  Christian takes advantage and hits the Unprettier for the win at 8:14+ commercials.  Pretty decent match.  It’s good to see Christian back in WWE and away from that circus in Orlando.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/12/09 (Repost)

Posted in WWE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

WWE open.

JBL talks to Shawn Michaels about his match with John Cena tonight.

Raw open, then Stephanie McMahon makes her entrance as Cole and Lawler welcome us LIVE to Sioux City, Iowa.  She talks about Vince’s return next week, but Chris Jericho interrupts her.  He thinks Vince will give him JBL’s title shot at the Royal Rumble.  Jericho brings up Stephanie putting Mike Adamle in charge of Raw, and Stephanie blames that one on Shane.  She then makes a crack about Jericho not being World Champion anymore, and says Cena vs. JBL is set in stone.  Stephanie says Jericho has a match tonight.  Jericho says no.  They argue.  Jericho no sells her authority.  Stephanie fires Jericho.  Well Chris, maybe you shouldn’t have called her all those ugly names back in the day.  Jericho looks shocked as the show goes to commercial.

Moments ago: Stephanie fired Jericho.

During the commercial: Security escorted Jericho out of the building.

NOW: Lawler and Cole are at ringside.  Miz’s music hits.

The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio.  The only question here is, will Knox cost Mysterio the match, or wait until afterwards to attack him?  Miz sits on a sunset flip attempt for a near fall.  He goes for the Reality Check, but Mysterio hits an armdrag, then the 619 and a springboard splash for the win at 3:30.  Where’s Knox?  Oh, there he is.  Mysterio actually fights him off this time.

Candice (w/ awful looking hair) tries to talk to CM Punk about Vince’s return.  Punk, however, is focused on his Intercontinental Championship match against William Regal.  It’s NEXT!  WOOO!

They’re putting over Vince’s return big.  They show his evolution from mild mannered announcer to the “Mr. McMahon” character.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match:
William Regal (w/ Layla) (c) vs. CM Punk.  Punk hits a backslide early, but doesn’t get a count.  Punk gets in offense.  Regal can’t maul Punk because he loses the title on a DQ.  Punk gets DQ’d for a low blow at 1:58.  Two weeks in a row, they fuck up a Regal/Punk match.  WWE could fuck up a wet dream.

Mickie (w/ bad hair) talks to Cody Rhodes about the weather.  Sim Snuka and Manu are upset that he stuck with Orton after Orton kicked them to the curb.  Sim and Manu are going after Orton tonight, and they say they have another second generation guy on their side.

Starrcade DVD out tomorrow!  I want!

Todd Grisham asks Regal if he’s satisfied with his victory.  Regal is.  Stephanie books Regal vs. Punk No DQ for next week.  I’m sure that one will end in 1 minute by count-out.

Stone Cold Steve Austin is announced as the first inductee in the Hall of Fame, class of 2009.  They show an awesome video package on him.  It starts off with nice, slow music, the turns into “Cult of Personality.”  Fun fact: that was Punk’s theme during his ROH World Title reign.

JBL tells Michaels he can’t lose tonight with JBL in his corner.  Michaels says he doesn’t need him to win.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox next week!

Kane vs. Randy Orton (w/ Cody Rhodes).  The fight for a minute, then a commercial break, then they fight some more.  Couldn’t that commercial have lasted until the finish?  Kane counters an RKO attempt and goes for the diving clothesline, but Orton catches him with a dropkick and pins him at 8:43.  It looked like Kane’s shoulder was up.  Since when has that mattered in WWE?  That kind of shit happens all the time.  On a replay, Kane’s shoulder was indeed up.  Snuka and Manu come out and want to know were Cody stands.  They reveal their backup: Ted Dibiase Jr.!  Of course, there are no juniors in WWE, so he’s just Ted Dibiase, and the next time his dad is on TV, he’ll be Ted Dibiase Sr.  Anyway, all four surround Orton.  Then Orton, Rhodes, and Dibase jump Snuka and Manu.  Rhodes gives Snuka his finish, then Dibiase gives Manu his.  So Dibiase is ok with Orton punting him in the head a few months ago?

Earlier tonight, again: Stephanie fired Jericho.

Grisham interviews John Cena.

WWE Rewind: Goldust & Melina beat Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella last week.  Rosa Mendez attacked Melina and was banned from WWE arenas.

WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall vs. Melina & Kelly Kelly.  Rosa jumps Melina during her entrance.  Security drags her off and the heels attack the faces in the aisle.  The faces get beat down and the match never happens.

Last year, Vince got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Cole and Lawler run down the Royal Rumble card.

Orton, Dibiase, and Rhodes are talking backstage.

Jamie Noble, Dolph Ziggler, Goldust, and Cryme Tyme are outside Stephanie McMahon’s office hoping for Royal Rumble spots.  Santino comes out and says he’s in.  It sucks that he’s not getting much TV time anymore.

Still another plug for Kennedy’s movie.

Next week: Regal vs. Punk for the IC title, No DQ, and it’s in Punk’s hometown!

Non-Title: World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels (w/ JBL).  They shake hands, then go to commercial.  DAMMIT.  They wait until we come back from break to ring the bell.  That was nice of them.  For those of you who haven’t read the news, Cena’s F-U is now called the Throwback, because WWE is kid friendly now.  When Cena went for the STFU early on, Cole called it the STF, so I guess the U is gone from that too.  They have a good match as always.  At 6 minutes, Michaels locks in a figure-four leglock.  Cena gets out and they fight some more.  Michaels catches Cena coming off the top and locks in the Crippler Crossface.  Cena struggles to get out.  Cena finally gets a rope break.  Commercial.  Back from break, Cena is making his comeback.  During the break, Michaels did the Flair flip out of the ring.  Now Cena is working on Michaels’ back.  Cena does a bearhug.  That’s new.  They do some more stuff.  Michaels powerbombs Cena from the ropes.  Cena kicks out but plays dead.  Michaels misses the diving elbow when Cena moves.  Cena hits the five knuckle shuffle and goes for the F-U, but Michaels counters and hits a DDT.  Cena kicks out.  I should note that the announcers haven’t said “F-U” or “Throwback” once, even though Cena has attempted it like 5 times so far.  Cole just says Cena is “going for the victory.”  Cena ducks the superkick and “goes for the victory” again, but Michaels kicks out of the move which Cena uses when attempting the victory.  Shawn NAILS Cena with a superkick and lays on him for the cover, but Cena kicks out.  Cena goes for the victory again, but Michaels counters with a sunset flip for a near fall.  Cena locks in the STF.  JBL pushes the rope to Michaels, allowing Michaels to get a rope break.  Cena goes for the victory again, but Michaels gets out and hits the superkick for the win at 24:45.  Great match, as always with these two.  Good ending to an otherwise weak show, wrestling-wise.  JBL stands over Cena as the show ends.

Next week, Vince returns to Raw!

Starrcade: The Essential Collection Disc 3 (Repost)

Posted in WCW with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2010 by Grappleholic

Originally posted on my old blog on 2/13/09.

I’m finally back with Disc 3.  This is the first review to be written on my brand new awesome computer!

Road Warrior Animal introduces #9.

#9
Starrcade, 12/13/89
Non-Title, Iron Team Tournament Match: The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. NWA World Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers.  The two Jims (Ross and Cornette) are on commentary.  Scott and Hawk start.  Scott goes for Hawk’s leg, then Hawk hits an enzuigiri.  Hawk catches Scott’s leg, and Scott does a nifty flip out of it.  Scott tags in Rick.  Hawk nails a lariat for a two count from referee Nick Patrick.  Animal comes in.  Rick hits the Steiner Line.  Animal takes over briefly, then Rick hits a belly-to-belly suplex.  Tags on both sides.  Hawk hits a press slam and a fist drop, then covers.  Rick saves.  Hawk hits a big boot for another near fall.  Tag to Animal, who misses an elbow drop on Scott.  Scott hits a belly-to-belly.  Scott runs at Animal in the corner and gets caught with a kick or clothesline.  I forgot which in the time it took to type that sentence.  While I was typing those sentences, Hawk and Scott went at it.  Scott hits a belly-to-belly overhead off the turnbuckle on Hawk.  Animal comes in and works over Scott.  Hawk comes in and beats up Scott too.  Animal tags back in.  Hawk beats up Rick for good measure.  Road Warriors hit the Doomsday Device.  Animal has Scott in a backdrop-style bridge.  Both men’s shoulders were on the mat, but Scott lifts his shoulder at the last second to get the pin on Animal at 7:28.  Nifty old school finish.

Dusty Rhodes introduces #8.  It’s a match from Starrcade 2000.  Oh dear.  Oh thank God, it’s the good one.

#8
Starrcade, 12/17/00
Three-Way Ladder Match: 3 Count vs. Jamie Knoble & Evan Karagias vs. The Jung Dragons (w/ Leia Meow).  Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. are on commentary.  Whoever gets the contract hanging above the ring gets a shot at Chavo’s Cruiserweight Championship.  Kaz Hayashi and Shannon Moore start.  They do a nifty bit, then a painful looking botch.  Okay, this match is already looking like it’s going to be way to fast to type.  Yang and Helms tease going at it, then everyone races for ladders.  The sneaky boy band grab a ladder from under the ring while everyone else goes for the ladders on the aisle.  The Dragons come in and send them out of the ring.  Yang, who would one day become everyone’s favorite Asian redneck, Jimmy Wang Yang, dropkicks a ladder into Knoble (who would one day drop the K) and Karagias (who after the fall of WCW dropped off the face of the Earth).  Knoble and Karagias end up alone in the ring and argue over who is going to take the contract down.  They shove each other, then Yang dropkicks Knoble into Karagias.  Knoble takes a bump into the ladder.  Yang hits the Yang Time on Moore.  Everyone else does suicide dives as Knoble goes for the prize.  Yang pushes the ladder over and sends him into the pile.  They do some crazy awesome spots that would take way too long to explain.  Helms hits a sick neckbreaker on someone.  Knoble hits a sunset flip powerbomb on Helms off the ladder.  Moore hits a rear chinlock drop on Yang.  Knoble goes for the prize, but Leia Meow comes in and stops him.  Yang hits a cross-arm Iconoclasm off a ladder on Karagias.  The Dragons build a scaffold out of four ladders.  3 Count send them crashing into it.  Knoble drops Moore with a Tombstone Piledriver while Karagias hammers Helms.  Hayashi and Karagias take bumps off the ladder scaffold.  Moore hits an awesome headscissors on Yang to bring him off the ladder scaffold.  Helms sends Knoble off, then both members of 3 Count pull down the contract together at 13:46.  Awesome spotfest with lots of insane bumps.

Dusty introduces #7.

#7
Starrcade, 12/13/89
Non-Title, Iron Man Tournament Match: NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair vs. Sting.  Ross and Terry Funk are on commentary.  Flair wins the tournament on a pinfall, submission, or count-out.  Sting needs a pin or submission to win.  If they draw, Lex Luger wins the tournament.  They lock up, then Sting hits a hiptoss.  Flair puts Sting in a hammerlock, but Sting counters with a drop toe hold.  Flair inexplicably sets Sting on the top turnbuckle, then gives a clean break.  They lock up again and Flair tries to out arm-power Sting, which I find foolish.  Sting, of course, powers Flair down.  Sting gets the better of an exchange and Flair takes a breather.  They go at it again and Sting gets a near fall off of a backslide.  Flair nails Sting with chops.  Sting hiptosses Flair again, then dropkicks him.  Flair throws Sting out of the ring, then chops him and whips him into the guardrail.  Flair suplexes Sting back into the ring.  Flair works over Sting and gets a near falls from a ground cobra twist and an inside cradle.  Sting makes a comeback and kicks Flair’s ass.  Sting puts Flair in the Scorpion Death Lock, but it’s way too close to the ropes and Flair gets a break.  Flair attacks Sting’s leg and locks in the figure-four leglock.  Sting escapes it somehow, but Flair keeps on working Sting’s leg.  Sting gets a near fall with another backslide.  Flair stays after Sting’s leg.  Sting counters the figure-four with an inside cradle for the pin at 15:56, even though the time limit was 15 minutes.  Good match, though.  Ole and Arn Anderson come out and raise Sting’s hands in victory, as they’re all Horsemen at the time.  I’m guessing it was soon after this that the Horsemen kicked Sting out for wanting his title shot at Flair.

Dusty introduces #6.  We’re going way back to the first Starrcade for this one.

#6
Starrcade, 11/24/83.
Non-Title, Dog Collar Match: Roddy Piper vs. NWA United States Heavyweight Champion Greg Valentine.  I should mention that throughout the match, the announcers can’t make up their minds if it’s a title match or not.  It’s not.  Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle are the announcers.  Not much to say here, they just brawl and maim each other with the chain.  They both bleed like crazy.  Piper hooks Valentine’s legs with the chain and pins him at 16:08.  Valentine attacks Piper and chokes him with the chain after the match.  Sorry for the short review, but there’s only so many times in one match I want to type “punch” and “chokes (or whips) with the chain).

Animal introduces #5.  Shit, another Scaffold Match.

#5
Starrcade, 11/27/86
Scaffold Match: The Road Warriors (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. The Midnight Express (w/ Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers).  Tony Schiavone and Rick Stewart (who?) are on commentary.  The Road Warriors wait at the top during the ring intros.  Loverboy Dennis Condrey teases climbing up, but chickens out.  MX finally does come up.  The bell rings and the Road Warriors kick ass.  Condrey throws powder in Hawk’s eyes.  Eaton does the same to Animal.  They fight on top of the scaffold.  That sentence will cover the rest of the match until someone takes a stupid, unnecessary bump.  Condrey falls, then Eaton, to give the Road Warriors the win at 7:08.  Ellering takes Cornette’s tennis racket.  Cornette climbs the scaffold to escape and runs right into Animal.  Cornette falls and blows out his knees.

Jim Ross introduces #4, explaining the build up the epic Sting/Hogan showdown in 1997.  In short, Hogan’s nWo ran roughshod over WCW for a year while Sting watched from the rafters and grew his hair out.

#4
Starrcade, 12/28/97
WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Sting.  Schiavone, Rhodes, and Tenay are on commentary.  Nick Patrick is the referee.  Hogan throws his bandanna at Sting.  Sting responds by slapping him.  Hogan panders to the crowd, then Sting slugs him.  Hogan panders some more as Sting just stands there.  Okay guys, you’ve built the moment.  Time to wrestle.  Hogan beats up Sting.  Hogan tries to elbow drop Sting three times, but misses every time.  Sting dropkicks Hogan out of the ring.  Hogan comes back in and they work a headlock.  Hogan comes off the ropes but Sting leapfrogs him and sends him out of the ring with a dropkick again.  They go back and forth, but nothing particulary interesting happens.  They fight outside and Sting hits a Stinger Splash on the guardrail.  Back in the ring, Hogan chokes Sting with his boot.  Hogan hits the leg drop and gets the clean pin.  Bret Hart shows up and says he’s not going to see Sting get screwed.  Hart nails Patrick and takes over as referee.  Hogan tries to run away, but Hart throws him back in the ring.  Buff Bagwell and Scott Norton come in to attack Sting, but Sting is not to be denied.  He hits a Stinger Splash and the Scorpion Death Lock for the victory at 12:53.  Luger, The Giant, and a bunch of jobbers come out to celebrate with Sting.  The Hogan pin on Sting was supposedly meant to be a fast count, and rumor is Hogan paid off Patrick to not count slow.  If it’s true, Hogan is a prick, but a brilliant prick.  The match comes off looking like Hogan won fair and square, then got screwed.

Ric Flair introduces #3.

#3
Starrcade, 11/24/83
Steel Cage Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Harley Race (c) vs. Ric Flair.  Former World Champion Gene Kiniski is the guest referee for this match, the main event of the first Starrcade.  Solie and Caudle are the announcers.  It takes about 10 minutes for the entrances, introductions, and all that jazz.  They do a headlock sequence.  Kiniski warns Flair about using closed fists, so Flair nails Race with some elbows.  Race backs Flair into the ropes and doesn’t give a clean break.  Kiniski chastises him.  Flair backs Race into the ropes and responds in kind.  Race nails Flair with a high knee, but misses his falling headbutt.  Flair nails a chop and covers, but no count.  Flair puts Race down to the mat with a headlock.  Very old school match.  Flair holds him on the mat for a little while, but Race eventually powers up and hits a suplex.  He misses the headbutt again.  Flair goes for a move, but Race falls on him and gets a count.  I think it was just one.  Race gets Flair into the ropes and beats on him, but Kiniski pulls him away.  Race hits a piledriver and something else for a near fall.  Actually I can’t tell if the fall was near because Kiniski counts so slow and quietly.  Race hits a neckbreaker for what I did see was a near fall.  Wrestling in 1983 was a lot different than it is in 2009.  Race hits a powerslam-type move for another close one.  Flair tries to fire back, but Race headbutts him to the mat and finally hits his falling headbutt.  Race rams Flair into the cage and beats on him some more.  Flair finally fires back with chops and elbows.  He’s BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Flair backs Race into the corner but gets headbutted again.  Kiniski is a strict referee.  Flair hits a knee drop and a kick to the head, then a piledriver on his own for a near fall.  Flair hits a suplex for another near fall.  Kiniski is such a shitty referee.  Flair rams Race into the cage, then Race grinds Flair’s face into it.  Kiniski pulls Race away again.  Were referees supposed to be IN THE FUCKING WAY in 1983?  Geeze.  Flair locks in the figure-four leglock.  Race reverses and the roll into the ropes, so Flair has to break it.  Race hits his diving headbutt for a two count.  Race hits a suplex for a two count.  Race beats on Flair in the corner, and Kiniski pulls him away by his hair.  Race goes for a suplex, but Flair reverses it into a suplex of his own.  Ref bump.  They should have knocked him out 20 minutes ago.  Flair hits a cross body off the top rope for the win at 23:49.  The ring fills up with people celebrating with Flair.  This match was probably considered good by 1983 standards, but by my standards it was slow and boring, with a referee who really hindered the match.

Tully Blanchard introduces #2.

#2
Starrcade, 11/28/85
“I Quit” Steel Cage Match for the NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Tully Blanchard (c) (w/ Baby Doll) vs. Magnum T.A.  I haven’t seen this match in a while.  Hopefully it holds up better today than the previous match did.  Schiavone and Caudle are the announcers.  I don’t think we’ve heard that combination yet.  They lock up.  Tully throws a punch, Magnum throws one of his own, and the crowd pops big.  Man, Magnum was OVER.  The crowd comes to life whenever he throws a punch or does anything else for that matter.  Tully gets heat, Magnum makes a small comeback and pops the crowd, Tully gets heat again.  Rinse, lather, repeat, but it’s good stuff.  Magnum goes head-first into the cage and gets cut.  Either Tully gets color too, or Magnum’s blood gets on him, or both.  Tully tries to make Magnum quit, but Magnum responds with a resounding “HELL NO!”  Magnum fights back, but Tully won’t quit either.  Magnum punches Tully in the corner, but Tully gives him an inverted atomic drop, then beats him in the head with the microphone.  Somebody (Baby Doll I presume) throws a wooden chair over the cage to Tully.  Tully breaks it and tries to use a piece of it to stab Magnum in the eye.  Magnum gets hold of the spike and sticks it into Tully’s head, forcing Tully to quit at 14:48-ish.  Really great match.  It’s an old fashioned bloody, hate-filled brawl that still stands the test of time.

Ric Flair introduces #1!  I’ve been wanting to see this match for a long time.

#1
Starrcade, 12/27/93
WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Vader (c) (w/ Harley Race) vs. Ric Flair.  Flair has to retire if he loses.  Schiavone and Ventura are the announcers.  Vader gives Flair a shove and Flair takes a big bump off of it.  Vader beats the snot out of Flair.  With Flair’s honker, that’s not an easy job.  Flair throws some chops, but they don’t phase Vader.  Vader continues to kick Flair’s ass.  Flair finally manages to stagger Vader with chops and punches, but Race attacks Flair outside of the ring.  The interference gives Vader the opening to beat on Flair some more.  Flair hits a few jobs, then Vader hammers him and hits a better version of that shitty slam Mark Henry does.  Vader hits a clothesline off the middle rope.  Vader goes airborne again but Flair moves.  Flair hits a flying chop or elbow to the head, then totally misses a second one.  He hits the third attempt, then a knee drop.  Vader clotheslines him.  Vader hits a superplex, but misses a big splash.  Flair bounces off the ropes, then bounces off of Vader.  Vader throws Flair out of the ring, allowing Race to get in another cheap shot or two.  Back in the ring, Vader tries to splash Flair in the corner.  Flair moves and fires back with chops, but Vader splashes him in the other corner.  Flair throws chops and punches like they’re going to be outlawed tomorrow and finally drops the big man.  Flair attacks Vader’s leg with the ringpost and chairs.  Flair is FIRED UP and hammer Vader with the best punches I’ve ever seen him throw.  Flair fights Vader like a man posessed, even biting him!  Flair punishes Vader’s leg some more, then punches him down and goes for the figure-four leglock, but Vader kicks him away.  Vader misses the Vader Bomb and Flair locks in the figure-four.  Race tries to distract the referee.  Vader manages to get a rope break.  Vader goes up for the moonsault, but Flair moves out of the way!  Flair covers for two.  Race comes off the top rope and accidentally headbutts Vader.  The referee ejects Race.  Flair fires up with chops, then runs into the wall that is Vader.  Flair manages to trip Vader and get the pin at 21:10.  Fucking great match here, kids.  Vader plays the big man heel better than anyone I’ve ever seen, and Flair is Flair.  Great way to cap off a fine DVD release from WWE.