Archive for Homicide

TNA No Surrender 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Okay PPV intro video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Oshawa, Ontario!  This is TNA’s first PPV outside of the United States.

Sting kicks off the show.  Huh?  Oh, he’s just out to cut a promo.  Sting says he will challenge the winner of tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Bound For Glory next month.  He talks about the younger guys not respecting the business or nothing, makes a Bret Hart reference, and warns AJ Styles and Samoa Joe that it’s Show time.

Earlier today: Christian Cage arrived at work.

Tenay and West inform us that due to Hurricane Ike, Booker T wasn’t able to make it to the show.  He was supposed to be in the Four-Way World Title match tonight.  They run down the card for the evening.  Finally time for the opener.

The Rock N Rave Infection (Lance Rock, Jimmy Rave, & Christy Hemme) vs. The Prince Justice Brotherhood (Curry Man, Super Eric, & Shark Boy).  Rave and Eric start.  Eric sends Rave out and hits the first suicide dive of the night, then throws him back in and hits a missile dropkick for a two count.  Rock and Shark Boy tag in.  Rock statys in briefly before tagging back out to Rave.  Sharky kicks his ass and tags in Curry Man.  Curry forces Rave to tag in Christy.  Funny exchange, wnen Shark and Rave come back in.  Sharky gets backdropped out of the ring, then Rock whips him into the guardrail.  Rock N Rave beat up Shark Boy until Sharky tags in Curry Man.  Curry kisses Hemme.  She likes it.  He tries pin her with a reverse cradle, but Rock breaks it.  Rock takes down Curry and Christy hits her stupid split leg drop for a near fall.  Shark hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Hemme, but Rock nails him.  Eric hits a double DVD on Rock and Rave.  Curry pins Hemme for the victory at 7:49.  Fun comedy match.

Awesome Kong/ODB video package.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) vs. ODB.  Saeed jumps ODB in the aisle because ODB ripped her veil off recently on iMPACT!  Kong takes ODB to the ring and beats her up, but misses a splash, which allows ODB to go on the offensive.  ODB brings in a table and sets it up in the corner.  Kong reverses the Irish whip attempt and clotheslines ODB.  They go outside and fight into the crowd.  Kong gets a near fall on the ramp, then tries to sandwich ODB against the ring post.  ODB moves and Kong lariats the post.  ODB hits a Thesz press for a near fall I think.  Back in the ring, ODB sends Kong into a chair set up in the corner and schoolgirls her for a near fall.  ODB sets up the table and tries to slam Kong.  Kong goes for the Awesome Bomb, but ODB fights out of it.  Kong stands on the middle rope and tells Saeed to bring her a chair.  ODB powerbombs Kong onto the table, which doesn’t break through.  Ouch.  Saeed pulls ODB out of the ring, but gets sent into the guardrail.  ODB gets a near fall on Kong with an inside cradle.  Kong sandwiches ODB in the corner and nails her with a backfist.  Saeed gives Kong another table, which is set up in the corner.  ODB takes a drink from her flask and sprays it in Kong’s face, but Kong still manages to give her a spinebuster through the table for the win at 10:24.  It wasn’t awful.

Generic blonde interviews Christian Cage.  He talks about wanting to be a wrestler growing up just one hour from where the PPV is tonight.  He says he’s going to win the title in front of his family and friends tonight.

Abyss & Morgan/Team 3D video package.

Team 3D vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan.  Abyss and Brother Ray start.  The storyline here is Abyss spend time in a nuthouse to curb his violent tendencies (using weapons and stuff).  Ray hits a Rock Bottom, then tags in Devon, who hammers Abyss with punches.  Abyss clotheslines him and tags in Morgan.  Team 3D tries to leave, but Abyss and Morgan case them down and they fight in the aisle and back to the ring.  3D works on Abyss’ leg to half ass build the heat until Abyss makes the lukewarm tag to Morgan, who cleans house.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint on Devon and covers, but Ray pulls the referee out of the ring.  Johnny Devine runs in and hits Morgan with a chair.  Devon covers, but Morgan kicks out.  3D hits the reverse 3D, but Morgan kicks out again.  They set up for the proper 3D, but Morgan clotheslines them and tags in Abyss.  Abyss hits the Shock Treatment (I think that’s what it’s called) on Devine to dispose of him.  3D hits the Doomsday Device on Abyss, but Morgan breaks the cover.  Morgan fights Ray on the outside while Abyss and Devon fight in the ring.  Abyss hits a weak chokeslam for a near fall, then picks up the chair.  Before he decides to use it, Ray makes it back in and hits him from behind.  Morgan pulls him out and punches the chair into Devon’s face.  Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Devon for the win at 11:35 to put the finishing touches on this crapfest.  Bubba low blows Abyss and nails Morgan with the chair, then 3D and Devine bail.  Morgan gets up to find Abyss holding the chair and thinks Abyss was the one who hit him.

Bashir/Williams/Creed video package.

Three-Way Match for the TNA X Division Championship: Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed.  A Canadian is defending the title in Canada and Earl Hebner is the referee.  Uh oh.  Of course we get the obligatory “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant.  Early action is fast and furious.  Creed hits the second suicide dive of the night to take out Williams and Bashir outside the ring.  They do lots of cool stuff, but most of it is too quick to call.  Williams hits his rana suicida, then Bashir takes him out with a baseball slide dropkick.  Bashir and Creed fight for a bit until Williams makes it back in and sets up a double Canadian Destroyer.  Sorry, not going to happen in this lifetime.  Creed hits a double diving leg drop on both of them.  Williams goes for the Destroyer on Creed, but gets countered.  Williams puts Bashir in the Sharpshooter to the delight of the crowd.  Bashir crawls over and covers Creed, but Williams pulls him back to the middle of the ring.  Creed hits a bulldog on Williams to break the hold.  Creed counters a Destroyer attempt with the same Beach-Break like move he did at the previous PPV.  Williams hits the Destroyer on Creed and covers.  Bashir pulls him out of the ring and sends him into the guardrail, then slips in and pins Creed to win the title at 8:16.  Good match.

Samoa Joe arrives at the building.  The World Champion can’t trouble himself to make it to work on time?

Wilde/Love video package.  The Beautiful People and Kip James make their entrance.  Every one of Kip’s gimmicks is progressively more gay than the last.  Taylor is the hometown girl.  Native champions are not doing well on this show so far.  Taylor introduces her backup for the night, Rhino.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) (w/ Rhino) vs. Angelina Love (w/ Kip James & Velvet Sky).  They trade girlie punches to start.  Traci Brooks comes out to take notes or something.  She’s the “Knockout Law.”  Sky nails Wilde with Kip’s purple makeup kit outside the ring.  They trade shots back in the ring.  Love hits a front suplex for a near fall.  Wilde gets a front cradle for a near fall.  Rhino Gores an interfering Kip James.  Sky grabs Wilde from behind and holds her so Love can nail her.  Wilde ducks and Love puts on the brakes.  Wilde dropkicks Love into Sky, then hits a Northern Lights suplex for the win at 6:23.  Lousy and boring.

Lethal/Dutt/Val video package.  Tonight they’ll have a ladder match with So Cal Val’s engagement ring hanging above the ring.  The winner gets Val.  Yeah, that’s really smart way to choose your man.

Ladder of Love Match:
Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt.  Good exchange to start, with Dutt taking a Dragon suplex and landing on his knees, then Lethal hitting a tope suicida.  Tenay says he’s just heard that Jacqueline attacked Salinas in the bathroom.  Lethal backdrops Dutt out of the ring and onto a ladder.  Lethal climbs the ladder and goes for the prize, but Dutt springboards to the ladder and drops Lethal into the ropes.  Dutt heads up the ladder, but Lethal powerbombs him.  Dutt brings in another ladder and sets it up between the ropes and the main ladder.  Lethal takes a bump into it, then Dutt hits a springboard flip.  It’s really hard to describe some of this shit.  The second ladder is now on top of the first ladder.  Lethal catapults Dutt, but completely misses the ladders.  Lethal takes the second ladder down and uses it against Dutt.  Matches like this can be really hard to call.  Sick tree of woe spot with the ladder.  They fight in the aisle.  Lethal takes a bump into a ladder set up on two chairs.  Slight “HOLY SHIT” chant.  The make it back in the ring and both set up ladders.  Dutt puts Lethal in the camel clutch ON TOP OF THE LADDERS.  Lethal fights out and sends Dutt crashing to the mat.  Lethal gets his leg caught in the ladder and Val comes in to help him.  Dutt yells at Val.  Dutt and Lethal climb opposite sides of the ladder.  Val gives Lethal a low blow, allowing Dutt to win at 13:22.  They make out after the match.  I’m sure absolutely every one saw this one coming.

Jeremy Borash interviews Kurt Angle.

Beer Money/LAX video package.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Beer Money (c) (w/ Jacqueline) vs. LAX (w/ Hector Guerrero).  Homicide wants Roode, who bails and tags in Storm.  Remember, Roode hit Homicide in the eye with a beer bottle at the previous PPV.  Hernandez tags in and hits a springboard shoulder block on Storm.  Storm hits a Lung Blower on Hernandez and covers, but Homicide makes the save.  Hernandez goes for a powerbomb on Storm, but Roode clips his knee.  Homicide eventually tags in and then tags Roode’s face with punches.  Homicide hits a DDT off the turnbuckle and covers, but Storm saves.  Roode hits a spinebuster, but Hernandez saves.  Hernandez sends Roode out and Homicide hits a suicide dive.  Hernandez climbs the ropes, but Storm spits beer in this face and powerbombs him down.  Second time tonight that spot as been used.  Homicide goes for Roode’s head with a beer bottle, but smashes it into the steps and maybe hits his hand up.  Hernandez hits a dive on everybody.  Roode and Homicide back in the ring.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killa, but Jacqueline throws powder in his eyes.  Roode hits the Payoff on Homicide for the win at 8:44.  Not bad, but not as good as their previous PPV matches.

Styles/Trigg video package.

MMA/Amateur Wrestling Match: Frank Trigg vs. AJ Styles.  Trigg cuts a promo to piss off the crowd.  There will be three 5 minute rounds, with a 1 minute rest period between rounds.  Typical boring MMA stuff until the take a spill out of the ring.  They go back in the ring and it goes back to being a boring MMA match.  AJ locks in a cross armbreaker as the first round ends.  Crowd chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT” as the second round starts.  AJ hits an accidental low blow and the match is ruled a no contest at 7:16.  This “match” was just plain retarded.  AJ nails Trigg with a Singapore cane afte the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Samoa Joe.  He rips on Sting for not working house shows.

Joe/Booker/Christian/Angle video package.  Booker isn’t here because of the weather, so now it’s a Three-Way Match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle.  Sting comes down and Joe attacks him the aisle.  AJ comes out and tries to make peace.  Sting leaves.  Joe goes to the ring so we can have the introductions and the match can start.  Christian and Joe double team Angle a bit, then go at it themselves.  Angle comes back in and hits a belly-to-belly overhead suplex to send Christian over the ropes and out of the ring.  Angle wears down Joe with a rear chin lock.  Christian makes it back in to take a belly-to-belly superplex from Angle.  Joe hits his powerslam on Angle for a two count.  Angle counters an Unprettier attempt from Chrstian into the rolling Germans.  Joe goes for the choke on Angle.  Angle tries to give him the Angle Slam, but Joe hits a German.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster on Christian but fails.  Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe for a near fall.  Tower of doom spot in the corner.  Joe gets a two count on Christian, then Angle.  Angle tries to give Christian a German off the apron, but Christian holds on, so it just looks gay.  Angle locks in the ankle lock.  Joe schoolboys Angle for a near fall.  Angle locks Joe in the ankle lock, then puts both in it at the same time.  They flip out of it.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Christian and covers, but Angle grabs referee Earl Hebner’s shirt.  Hebner finally gets away and counts two.  Joe throws Christian out of the ring into Angle, then dives out onto both of them.  They make it back into the ring and Angle hits the Angle Slam on Joe.  Christian follows with a frog splash, then sends Angle out of the ring.  Christian hits the Unprettier on Joe and covers, but Angle pulls Hebner out and throws him into the guardrail.  Angle wallops Christian with a chair, then Angle Slams him out of the ring.  He clobbers Joe with the chair and locks in the ankle lock.  Jeff Jarrett comes down and blasts Angle with the guitar.  Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Jarrett puts Hebner back in the ring to count the pin at 15:29.  Joe vs. Sting next month a Bound For Glory!  Alright match.

All in all, a lackluster show with a couple of okay matches, but nothing outstanding.

TNA Hard Justice 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling, Cross The Line!  The start of the PPV intro video is an AWESOME Law & Order parody.

Generic blond tries to interview Sting as he arrives at the arena, but he ignores her questions.

Some shitty rap group performs.  After they’re done, we get the fireworks, then the World’s Worst Commentary Team, Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE from Trenton, New Jersey.  They run down the card for tonight.  They run down the X Factors for the X Division Title Match, which will be kicking off the show.

TNA X Division Championship Match:
Petey Williams (c) (w/ Rhaka Khan) vs. Consequences Creed.  They start with a really good exchange that Creed gets the better of.  Williams takes a press slam into a gutbuster and bails, so Creed hits a suicide dive onto him.  Williams gets back in the ring and distracts the referee so Khan can get in a cheap shot that lets Williams take control.  Williams sends Creed to the outside and hits his suicide rana.  Williams keeps control until Creed nails a kick to start his comeback.  Creed hits a springboard bulldog and his punch combo for a near fall.  Williams hits a Russian leg sweep and signals for the Candian Destroyer, but doesn’t hit it.  Some other stuff happens that I couldn’t type because my wife was making me put stuff on a shelf, then Petey locks in the Sharpshooter.  Creed gets a rope break.  Williams beats on Creed, but Creed hits a German and the Creed-DT.  Creed hits a diving legdrop and covers, but Petey manages to kick out.  Rhaka Khan comes in the ring and Creed gives her the TKO.  Petey goes for the Destroyer, but Creed counters and hits a Beach Break-like move.  Sheik Abdul Bashir comes out and nails Creed with a chair, allowing Petey to hit the Canadian Destroyer for the win at 12:30.  Good match.  Bashir cuts an Anti-American promo after the match.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash.  Joe says he’s focused and he’s tired of Sting’s crap.  Nash tells Joe he needs to focus on Booker T, and he leaves to talk to Sting.  Joe then has words for Booker about their match tonight.

Hype video for the six-woman tag team match.

Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed) & The Beautiful People vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Taylor Wilde, Gail Kim, & ODB.  Traci Brooks is the special referee.  ODB does all of her laughable stupid taunts, much to disgust of Angelina Love.  She tags in Velvet Sky, who is offended by ODB’s body odor.  Sky sprays perfume on her.  ODB takes the perfume and sprays it on her crotch.  Gail tags in and we finally get some wrestling.  Sky quickly tags Love back in.  Wilde tags in and gets the better of Love.  Kong tags in and goes after Wilde.  Wilde quickly tags out to Kim, who also gets thrown around by Kong.  ODB tags in and trades blows with Kong.  Kong smashes Wilde and Kim, but ODB can hang with her.  Wilde and Kim double team her and take her down.  ODB low bridges a charging Kong and sends her out of the ring.  Saeed trips up ODB and Brooks ejects her.  ODB spits her booze in Kong’s face.  Kong smashes her and allows Sky to get a near fall.  Sky ties up ODB with an Octopus stretch.  ODB escapes and tags in Kim as Love tags in on the other side.  Love chokes Kim and Brooks forces her to break.  Love gets in her face.  Love continues to beat on Kim until Wilde tags in and cleans her clock.  Kong tags in and sets up Wilde for the Awesome Bomb, but Kim prevents it.  Everybody starts brawling.  Wilde pins Love with a front cradle at 11:28.  Match wasn’t bad.

Generic Blonde follows Team 3D as they go to find Sting in the rafters of the building.  They discover that Ray is scared of heights.  They just yell and hope he hears them.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money (w/ Jacqueline).  One of the rappers from earlier performs LAX’s entrance theme live.  They brawl outside the ring before the match starts.  Homicide throws Roode in the ring to officially start the match.  LAX double teams Roode.  Hernandez hits a long stalling suplex.  Homicide brings Storm in and kicks his ass too.  Beer Money double team Homicide outside the ring, but Hernandez hits them with the suicide dive.  First “THAT WAS AWESOME!” chant of the night.  Homicide beats up Roode in the ring.  Storm spits beer in Homicide’s eyes, which allows Roode to get the advantage.  Beer Money build the heat on Homicide, who is kayfabe injured from Beer Money putting him through a glass table recently.  Homicide tries to fight back, but Beer Money continues to destroy him.  Storm hits a swank DDT off the ropes on Homicide for a near fall, then a nice knee kick for the same.  Roode antagonizes the crowd by giving Homicide the Three Amigos.  Roode goes for a frog splash, but Homicide rolls out of the way and makes the hot tag.  Hernandez destroys both of them and covers Storm after a spinebuster, but Roode saves.  Beer Money double team Hernandez and Storm gets a near fall after Roode hits a blockbuster.  Homicide tags back in and hits a double dropkick on both of Beer Money.  Homicide suplexes Storm and goes up top.  Jacqueline tries to stop him, but Homicide kicks her away and hits the frog splash for a near fall.  Roode hits a spinebuster on Storm.  Hernandez takes care of Roode, but Storm gives him a Lungblower.  Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter on Storm and Beer Money bails.  Hernandez Border Tosses Homicide out of the ring onto Beer Money.  Hernandez throws Roode back in the ring and charges him, but Roode low bridges him.  Salinas and Jacqueline get into a cat fight.  In the ring, Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Storm, but Roode breaks a beer bottle over Homicide’s head and allows Storm to get the pin and win the titles at 14:05.  Really good formula tag match.

Kevin Nash tries to talk Sting out of whatever he’s planning to do tonight.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt/So Cal Val love triangle video package.

Black Tie Brawl & Chain Match:
“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  They’ll wrestle chained together and wearing tuxedos.  You win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Lethal’s family is shown in the crowd, as we’re in his home state.  Lethal cleverly secures his side of the chain to the ring rope and beats on Dutt.  The referee finally chains up Lethal so the match officially starts.  Dutt hits a low blow with the chain and beats up Lethal.  Lethal dodges a fist drop with the chain and fights back.  Dutt bails and Lethal hits a suicide cross body.  Dutt tries to get away, but they’re chained together.  Moron.  Lethal dies Dutt to the ringpost with the chain and beats on him until Dutt ducks a blow and Lethal punches the post.  Lethal strangles Dutt with the chain and Val pleads with him to stop.  Val leaves, which distracts Lethal and allows Dutt to pull him into the post.  Dutt pulls Lethal’s jacket and shirt off.  Dutt beats on Lethal and taunts his family.  Crowd chants “BORING.”  Dutt goes for a springboard dive, but Lethal yanks the chain and Dutt takes a nasty bump.  Lethal throws Dutt around with the chain and gooes for the Lethal Combination, but Dutt counters.  Lethal hits another move for a two count.  I thought you could only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  Dutt hits the Sonjay Cutter for a near fall.  Dutt goes for a diving move, but misses.  Lethal hits a cool rolling Fisherman buster.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination and the diving elbow drop for the win at 11:19… even though you can only win by ripping the other guy’s tuxedo off.  It’s TNA and we know they’re retarded, so I digress.  They made a good brawl out of a silly gimmick.

Jeremy Borash is in the locker room with Booker T and Sharmell.  Booker still has possession of the World Title belt, even though Joe is the champion.  Booker has words for Samoa Joe, then they drink champagne.

Team 3D/Christian & Rhino video package.

Jersey Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Christian Cage & Rhino.  They start with the brawling you’d expect, then Bubba tosses Christian into the air and Christian takes an awesome bump… very similar to the one Sonjay took in the previous match.  It’s the same problem I saw with the show I watched yesterday, too many of the matches have the same shit in them.  They brawl in the crowd for a while, then back in the ring Christian hits Bubba with a sign that says “CHRISTIAN USE MY SIGN.”  Bubba throws the steps into the ring and Devon hits Rhino with them.  Tenay and West have one of those moments that make me remember how awful and annoying they are.  Christian slams Bubba’s race into the steps, then tries to hit him with a Detour sign.  Bubba moves and hits the Bubba Bomb off the steps for a near fall.  Crowd chants “WE WANT TABLES!”  There’s a funny spot where Devon charges Christian, who holds up a stop sign.  Rhino Gores Devon and covers, but Bubba breaks it.  Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Bubba counters and hits an electric chair drop.  Rhino rams Devon’s head repeatedly into Bubba’s balls.  Bubba hits a superbomb on Christian.  Christian kicks out of the cover.  3D finally brings in a table.  Rhino and Christian set up a ladder.  Christian hits a frog splash off the ladder on Bubba.  Rhino Gores Bubba into a table that doesn’t break for the win at 15:22.  The match was your typical plunder based brawl, not awful but nothing special.  Johnny Devine runs in and attacks Christian and Rhino with a Singapore cane.  Abyss makes the save, giving Devine the Black Hole Slam.

Generic blond interviews AJ Styles, then we get a video package of his history with Kurt Angle.  The angle (no pun intended) here is that AJ supposedly nailed Kurt’s wife.

Last Man Standing Match: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles.  Angle stalls for a bit at the beginning, bailing every time AJ approaches him.  Styles chases Angle around the ring.  Angle gets in first and gets the advantage.  AJ fights back, then Angle rakes his eyes.  AJ ducks Angle and hits a dropkick, then clotheslines him out of the ring and hits a suicide dive.  AJ gets Angle back in the ring and kicks his ass.  Angle begs off, then throws AJ through the ropes.  Angle suplexes AJ into the guardrail.  Ouch.  Angle goes for a pinall, so I guess it’s Texas Death Match rules here.  They fight up the ramp, where AJ suplexes Angle and gets a two count.  Angle suplex Styles off the stage, then does a somersault onto him!  Cover gets two.  They fight back to the ring, where Angle clamps on a sleeper hold.  AJ fights out and blasts Angle with a kick.  Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly.  Angle beats up AJ some more and clamps on a headlock.  AJ fights back and gets in some blows, then they catch each other with cross body blocks.  They get back up and AJ hits his springboard forearm.  Styles puts Angle in the Torture Rack, then hits a move out of it for a near fall.  AJ goes for the Styles Clash, but Angle counters and goes for the ankle lock.  AJ counters and hits a spinebuster.  Angle catches Styles coming off the top rope and powerbombs him for a near fall, then tries to hit him with the Styles Clash.  Styles counters and puts Angle in the ankle lock.  Angle taps.  Angle beats the count up.  Styles misses the flip reverse DDT and Angle low blows him and hits a German.  Styles ducks a shot and hits the Pele kick.  Angle hits a sort of German off the top rope and gets a pin.  AJ gets up.  Angle hits the Angle Slam and gets another pin.  AJ gets up again and counters the Angle Slam into the Styles Clash for a pin.  Angle gets up at 9.  Styles MURDERS Angle with a DDT off the top rope.  Cover gets three, referee counts ten, and AJ is the winner at 24:52.  Finish was scary, knowing Angle’s history with neck problems.  Match was pretty good.  Medics come out to put Angle on a stretcher.  AJ comes back and suplexes Angle.  The lights go out, and when they came back on Sting has AJ by the head on the ramp.  Sting gives AJ the Scorpion Death Drop.  Nash appears and confronts Sting, but Sting just leaves.  They show highlights of the match, including a few replays of the sick finish.

Samoa Joe/Booker T history video.

Six Sides of Steel with Weapons Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell).  They brawl.  Booker tries to use a Singapore can and fails.  Joe kicks a trash can into Booker’s balls and hits his senton on the trashcan onto Booker.  “JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU” chant.  Joe uses the cane, then hammers Booker with punches in the corner.  Booker hits Joe the remnants of the trash can.  Joe ducks a hockey stick shot and nails a kick, then sandwiches Booker’s head with trash can lids for a two count.  Booker kicks a chair into Joe’s face, then blasts him in the head with the chair.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker chokes Joe with a piece of wood and tries to climb out of the cage.  Joe follows and hits an Ace Crusher off the top rope.  Joe hammers Booker and rams his head into the cage.  Booker hits a move for a near fall and locks Joe in a guillotine choke.  I think I hear a “YOU SCREWED BRET” chant directed at referee Earl Hebner.  Let it go, people.  Booker superkicks a trash can lid into Joe’s face for a near fall.  Booker tries to climb out again and they fight on the top rope.  Joe jumps up and kicks him in the head.  Joe takes a hard bump to the canvas and Booker crotches himself on the top rope.  Joe hits his powerslam for a near fall.  Joe hits a powerbomb and locks in the STF.  Joe goes for the Muscle Buster, but Booker gets out and hits the Book End on a chair for a near fall.  Booker spinaroonies up and nails the axe kick as the lights go out.  When they come back on, Joe has a familiar looking guitar in his hand.  Joe blasts Booker with the guitar for the pin at 12:46.  Okay plunder match, I guess.

All in all, I give the show a thumbs in the middle.  Top to bottom okay matches.

TNA Victory Road 2008 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Wrestling… Cross The Line!  Cool opening video.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us LIVE to Houston, Texas.  Jeremy Borash is shown outside the arena with the mutant TNA fans.  The polls are open as to what stipulations one of the matches will have tonight.  Generic blonde and B.G. James are in the crowd.  Tonight, there’s a Fans’ Revenge Strap Match and some other stuff.

We’re opening with the semifinal round of the World X Cup.  Current standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with 3 points each, Team International and Team Japan with 2 points each, so it’s still anybody’s ball game.  This match will be a 4-way trios match, known in Mexico as a Torneo Cibernetico.

World X Cup – Tag Team Elimination Match: Team Japan (Milano Collection AT, Masato Yoshino, & Puma) vs. Team Mexico (Ultimo Guerrero, Rey Bucanero, & Averno) vs. Team International (Doug Williams, Alex Koslov, & Tyson Dux) vs. Team TNA (The Motor City Machine Guns & Curry Man).  The winner gets three points, first runner up gets two, second runner up gets one point.  Yoshino and Curry Man start.  Yoshino is fast.  Sabin tags in and the Guns double team Yoshino.  Tyson Dux tags himself in.  He and Williams double team Sabin.  Sabin tags out and Team Mexico triple team Williams and Dux.  Averno hits a suicide dive on Williams.  Bucanero eliminates Dux with what looked like a Muscular Bomb at 2:57.  Milano and Puma double team Bucanero.  Averno comes in and throws both of them around.  Averno ducks and Puma nails Milano.  Averno eliminates Puma with an Angel’s Wings at 5:06.  Milano nails a superkick on Averno, but Bucanero saves him.  Sabin comes and and misses a dive on Milano.  Milano puts the Guns in a double half crab.  Curry Man saves them.  Milano fakes a low blow from Sabin.  Sabin hits the Cradle Shock to eliminate Milano at 7:14.  Yoshino comes in against Sabin.  He’s all alone now.  Shelley tags in and ties Yoshino to the tree of woe.  Shelley and Sabin both dropkick him in the corner.  Yoshino takes a tornado DDT from Sabin, but goes back and gets him in a hold.  Shelley escapes and nails a superkick.  Averno makes a blind tag and comes in with Yoshino.  Averno hits a wierd facebuster for a near fall.  Averno hits a TKO on Yoshino, but Yoshino gets a botched pinfall on Averno with a cradle at 10:34.  Koslov comes in and does the Russian kick dance on Yoshino.  Williams comes in and hits the Chaos Theory on one of the guns.  Curry Man tries to hit the Spice Rack, but Williams escapes it.  Guerrero and Bucanero attack both of them.  Curry Man ggoes for a top rope Frankensteiner on Guerrero, but gets powerbombed down for the elimination at 12:57.  Guerrero and Bucanero eliminate Williams at 13:24 with a cool sandwich double team.  The Guns miss stereo suicide dives.  Koslov tries to get the crowd to chat “Russia.”  They chant “Mexico” in support of Guerrero instead.  Guerrero hits a front suplex off the top rope on Koslov for a near fall.  Koslov ties up Guerrero in a cool submission hold to eliminate him at 15:13.  Sabin hits an inside top rope Frankensteiner on Bucanero.  Sabin pins Bucanero after a double superkick at 16:20.  Shelley hits a sick jawbreaker off the top rope on Yoshino.  The Guns work over Koslov and Yoshino.  First “THIS IS AWESOME” chant of the night.  Koslov dives at Sabin but gets caught with a dropkick.  Sabin hits an Ace Crusher on Koslov and blasts him with a lariat for a near fall.  Koslov pins Sabin with his feet on the ropes at 19:07.  Koslov hits a nice suicide dive on Shelley, then goes back in the ring to deal with Yoshino.  He catches Yoshino with a nice kick for a near fall, then takes a kick from Shelley.  Yoshino submits Koslov with the Sol Naciente at 20:35.  It’s down to Shelley and Yoshino now.  Yoshino gets a near fall off an awesome missile dropkick.  Shelley hits the Shiranui for the one, two, Yoshino kicks out!  That sentence made no sense grammatically.  They hit more great moves on each other.  Shelley hits a gorgeous Tiger suplex hold for a very near fall.  Yoshino hits a sick necktie off the ropes for another ridiculously near fall.  So many great false finishes in this exchange.  Shelley hits the Schwein (whatever he calls it) for the win at 24:20.  Really awesome match.  The last few minutes with Shelley and Yoshino are particularly awesome, and the early clusterfuck was all kinds of fun too.

Updated World X Cup standings: Team TNA – 6 points, Team Japan – 4 points, Team International and Team Mexico – 3 points each.

Tenay and West hype the matches still to come.

TNA Cribs with Booker T.  He’s got a big nice house and a lot of cool memorabilia.  Lots of cool vehicles too.  Booker must have saved his money from his WCW and WWE runs.

Gail Kim/Angelina Love hype package.

Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky) vs. Gail Kim.  Love attacks Kim from behind to jumpstart the match.  Kim gets the advantage and it doesn’t take long for Sky to trip her up and give Love an opening.  Kim fights back and goes for a stretches Love’s leg around the ringpost.  Sky tries to interfere again, but Kim throws her into the guardrail.  Not hard enough tough, as Sky interferes again and gives Love the openning to hit a superplex.  She takes to long to make the cover, though, and Kim kicks out at two.  Kim fights back and hits a spear.  Sky distracts Kim again, but Kim hits the Codebreaker and the Regal Cutter for the win at 6:15.  The Beautiful People jump her after the match and try to put the paper bag over her head, but Kim bails.  Match was meh.

Generic blonde and B.G. James are backstage with the fans who get to serve as lumberjacks tonight.  The fans whip mannequins dressed like Beer Money.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt history package.

“The Guru” Sonjay Dutt vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal (w/ So Cal Val).  Dutt gives Val a rose and card, which angers Lethal enough to hit him with a suicide dive before the match starts.  Lethal destroys the gifts and throws Dutt in the ring to start the match.  Dutt gets the advantage and Val encourages the crowd to get behind Lethal.  Dutt hits a standing moonsault for a near fall.  Lethal makes a comeback and hits a German suplex, which Dutt takes front-first.  Dutt gets a shot in and goes for a tornado DDT, but Lethal pushes him away and hits a dropkick for a near fall.  Dutt hits an awesome avalanche Frankensteiner.  They end up on the outside, where Dutt takes a bump into the guardrail.  Lethal locks in a Texas Cloverleaf.  Val steps up on the apron and distracts Lethal.  Dutt tells Val he loves her.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  Val steps up to the apron again and distracts Lethal, allowing Dutt to schoolboy him and put his feet on the ropes for the win at 8:28.  Dutt kisses Val’s hand as he leaves.  Okay match, but we got plenty of highspots in the opener so this didn’t seem special in comparison.

LAX/Beer Money hype video.

Borash interviews Beer Money.  Roode says they’re not afraid of the marks with straps.  Storm says he’ll be glad to leave Houston.  Jacqueline says she’s not going out with them.

Fans’ Revenge Strap Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: LAX (c) (w/ Hector Guerrero & Salinas) vs. Beer Money.  Homicide and Roode brawl to start.  Roode grabs a headlock and they trade hammerlocks.  Roode gets thrown out the ring and gets whipped.  He quickly scampers back in the ring and tags in Storm.  Storm throws Homicide out, but the fans don’t whip he.  He takes a drink of Storm’s beer.  Storm chases Homicide out and gets whipped.  Moron.  Homicide throws Storm out, but Storm skins the cat back in.  Hector pulls Storm out so he can get whipped again.  Tag to Hernandez and a bit of double teaming from the champs.  Tag back to Homicide, who Storm thumbs in the eye before tagging in Roode.  Homicide hits a headscissors, but gets sent out.  Homicide uses the Finlay trick of trapping Roode in the apron so he can get whipped some more.  Roode bails under the ring, but eventually has to come back out and gets whipped again.  Homicide hits the three amigos on him back in the ring, but soon gets worked over by Beer Money to build for the hot tag.  Homicide takes the heat for a few minute before making the tag to Hernandez, who cleans house.  Hernandez hits a sit-out powerbomb on Roode for a near fall.  Beer Money rally and go for a double superplex on Hernandez, but he fights them off and hits a diving splash on.  Referee counts two before the other guy makes the save.  Roode gets whipped again, then LAX hits the 5150 on him.  Hernandez covers for the pin at 10:09.  Okay match.  They worked in the gimmick well without having the whole match revolve around it.

Booker T gives us a tour of his wrestling school.

Recently on iMPACT, Taylor Wilde upset Awesome Kong to win the Knockouts Title.  Tonight is the rematch.

TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Taylor Wilde (c) vs. Awesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed).  They brawl.  Kong splashes her for a quick near fall.  Kong methodically destroys her, then stretches her with the camel clutch.  Taylor pulls Kong’s hair, but Kong smashes her again and goes for the Awesome Bomb.  Taylor finally makes a comeback with dropkicks and takes Kong off her feet.  Kong gets straight up and blasts her with a lariat.  Taylor hits an armdrag off the top rope rope for a near fall, then a quick roll up for the same.  Kong goes for a chokeslam, but Wilde gets a quick pin with a front cradle at 4:54.  Meh.  At least Taylor took her beating well.  Saeed blindsides Wilde after the match and throws her back in the ring.  Kong hits the Implant Buster and sets up for the Awesome Bomb on a chair.  Abyss comes out and threatens Kong.  Saeed steps between, then slaps Abyss.  Abyss gives her the Black Hole Slam and carries Wilde to the back.

Booker and Sharmell eat at their restaurant, called Sharmell’s.  They show him telling an employee to make the food portions smaller and water down the booze.

They show a shot of the NASA museum.

Ultimate X video package.  They show the crew setting up the Ultimate X structure while Tenay and West talk.  The winner of Ultimate X gets four points, and thus will win the World X Cup for his team.

World X Cup Final – Ultimate X Match: Naruki Doi (Team Japan) vs. Volador Jr. (Team Mexico) vs. Daivari (Team International) vs. Kaz (Team TNA).  David Penzer announces Doi as representing New Japan, but he’s from Dragon Gate.  They pair off and brawl.  Kaz goes for the big red X early, but Daivari pulls him down.  Kaz sends Daivari out.  Kaz, Doi, and Volador trade shots.  Volador goes for the X, but hits a rana on Doi off the cables.  Kaz sends Volador out and heads up again, but Daivari attacks him and they brawl on the outside.  Everyone gets back in the ring and Kaz tries to go for the X again, but flips on the cables.  Doi takes a nasty spill to the outside.  Daivari goes for the prize, but Volador pulls him down.  Volador goes for the prize, but Kaz throws Doi into him and Doi’s head hits Volador in the balls.  Kaz and Doi fight on the cables.  Doi takes the fall.  Volador comes from the other side and Kaz kicks him down too.  Daivari kicks Kazz down.  Volador powerbombs Daivari down.  Ouch.  Doi goes for it, but Volador dropkicks him and sends him outside.  Volador follows him with an Asai moonsault.  Kaz and Daivari fight on the steel thing that holds the cables up.  Daivari shimmers his way towards the prize, but Kaz jumps off the structure and hits a legdrop, sending them both crashing down for the HOLY SHIT! moment of the night.  The mutants in the iMPACT Zone wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to chant it.  Volador grabs the X to give Team Mexico the win at 10:59.  It didn’t measure up to previous Ultimate X matches, but it had some sick bumps.

Tenay and Willy Urbina (who?) are in the ring to present the big trophy to Team Mexico.  The crowd doesn’t care.

Booker T plays golf on his golf course.

Frank Trigg joins Tenay and West for commentary for the next match, which we then get a video package for.  Then Borash announces that the fans have voted for this match to be a Full Metal Mayhem match.

Full Metal Mayhem Match: Kurt Angle & Team 3D vs. AJ Styles, Christian Cage, & Rhino.  Angle jumps Styles in the aisle and everybody pairs off to brawl.  Angle is pissed at Styles because of something with his wife.  Christian is pissed at 3D because they put him through a glass table.  Styles hits a suicide dive on Angle and one of 3D.  The match is a wild brawl.  Don West is annoying.  Angle whacks people with a chair, then gives Christian a belly-to-belly throw onto a ladder.  3D use ladders to sandwich Rhino.  Styles sprinboards off a ladder and nails Brother Ray for the cover, but someone pulls referee Earl Hebner out of the ring.  Angle and 3D triple team Styles.  Christian hits a HIGH cross body onto all three of them off of the steel thing leftover from Ultimate X.  Rhino Gores everybody.  3D put Rhino through a table with the Doomsday Device.  Christian and Angle have an awesome exchange countering each others’ finishes.  Christian takes the 3D through the table at ringside.  The heels beat up Styles some more.  He ducks a charging Angle, who nails Devon.  Bubba SUPERKICKS Styles.  Bubba sets up Styles on a table and goes for a splash, but Styles punches him in the balls and puts him through with a facebuster.  Styles sidesteps a charging Devon and sends him through a table.  Angle goes after Styles, but Styles hits the Styles Clash for a very near fall.  Johnny Devine tries to interfere, but Styles disposes of him.  Angle hits the Angle Slam, but AJ kicks out of it!  Hebner takes a bump and hurts his leg.  Angle tries to Angle Slam Styles through a table.  Styles fights back and sets Angle on the table and climbs a ladder.  Trigg hits Styles with a Singapore cane.  Angle hits the Angle Slam off the ladder through a table for the win at 15:57.  I actually expected this match to be an overbooked piece of shit, but it surprised me by being REALLY good.

Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe.  Kevin Nash interrupts and tells Joe he’ll have his back tonight.  Joe tells Nash to stay out of it no matter what happens tonight.

Samoa Joe/Booker T video package.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T.  Sharmell is in the front row with some of Booker’s students.  Borash provides boxing-style introductions.  Booker is the hometown guy, so he has the crowd behind him.  They start by exchanging chops and punches.  Joe nails a kick and the crowd doesn’t approve.  Booker gets in a blow, but Joe blasts him with that knee kick he likes to do.  They fight on the outside, where Booker sends Joe into the steps.  Joe is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Booker takes Joe back into the ring and nails a superkick for a two count.  Joe fights back, but Booker hits the axe kick for a near fall.  Booker continues to beat on Joe.  Joe hits his knee kick again, then hits it diving from the middle rope for a near fall.  Booker charges Joe, but Joe hits his powerslam for another near fall.  Joe hits an Exploder and gets another two count, then tries to set up the Muscle Buster, but Booker fights him off.  Booker accidentally hits the referee.  Joe hits a lariat, then throws Booker out of the ring.  Joe hits the Ole kick.  Sharmell pleads with Joe to beating on Booker T, then slaps him.  Joe beats up Sharmell’s bodyguard, who I assume is one of Booker’s students.  Joe rolls Booker back into the ring.  Booker is BUSTED WIDE OPEN too.  Joe beats up a couple of referees.  The match is a no-contest at about 13 minutes.  Joe beats up the security guards who try to break it up.  Sharmell comes into the ring and screams for somebody to come help.  Joe chokes out Booker.  Sting comes out and argues with Joe.  Joe acts like he’s going to leave, but goes back after Booker.  Sting gets in the ring.  Joe flips him off.  Sting hits Joe with the bat.  Booker covers Joe and Sharmell makes the three count.  Booker leaves with the belt.

Okay show.  Nothing sucked except for the women’s matches and I don’t like the main event not having a finish.  The World X Cup Elimination match and the Full Metal Mayhem are both definitely worth watching.

TNA Genesis 2009 (Repost)

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Grappleholic

TNA Opening (Cross The Line!), then a video package chronicling the rise of the Main Event Mafia, then hyping the important matches tonight.

Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us to Genesis LIVE from Charlotte, North Carolina.  Time for our opening “These guys have nothing else to do and we want to throw them on the show” match.

Elimination Match: Sonjay Dutt, Jimmy Rave, & Kiyoshi vs. LAX & Eric Young.  During the entrances the announcers mention that the Awesome Kong/Christy Hemme match scheduled for tonight will not happen due to injuries and that Rhino has not arrived at the building yet. Anyway, Homicide and Dutt start, then Rave and Young go at it a bit.  The big man, Hernandez, comes in against Kiyoshi, who now has a red streak in his hair.  LAX double teams Kiyoshi.  We get a split screen with Jim Cornette knocking on the MEM’s locker room and nobody answering.  Back in the ring, Homicide hits a modified Tiger Driver on Dutt.  He goes for a splash or a headbutt, but Dutt moves and tags in Kiyoshi.  Kiyoshi plays “generic Japanese guy” well.  This is also your “match with lots of dives to the outside” TNA has at least one of on every show.  Split screen: the MEM is still ignoring Cornette.  Dutt pins Young with his feet on the ropes at 10:38.  Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer, but Dutt escapes and tags in Rave.  Rave pins Homicide with a school boy and a handful of tights at 11:29.  It’s 3 on 1 against Homicide now, but he has a World Title shot soon, so he smashes all of them.  Border Toss eliminates Kiyoshi at 12:49.  A sit-out powerbomb sends Dutt to the showers at 13:07.  A top rope splash eliminates Rave at 13:47, leaving Hernandez as your sole survivor.  It seems like they realized they didn’t book enough shit for the PPV, so they threw this on to kill some time.

Scott Steiner finally answers the door.  Cornette thinks the MEM have something to do with Rhino not being there yet.  Steiner says Rhino is probably drunk pissing himself in a gutter somewhere.

Highlights of the X Division Championship Tournament are shown.  Tonight, the Motor City Machine Guns face each other in the final.

TNA X Division Championship Tournament – Final: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley.  Sabin beat Sonjay Dutt and Kiyoshi to make it here, while Shelley beat Jay Lethal and Eric Young.  Awesome “great workers starting a match” sequence.  They wrestle for nearly four minutes, then start nailing some strikes as well.  Sabin ends up on the outside and ducks back into the ring to avoid a diving from Shelley.  Shelley lands on his feet, but then takes a dive from Sabin.  Back in the ring, Shelley hits a cool cannonball leg drop back in the ring.  They both do neat submission holds at various points.  This is just an awesome match.  Even the announcers aren’t awful for a change.  Sabin hits a swank tornado DDT for a two count.  Sabin dives off the ropes, but Shelley catches him in an armbar and transitions into the crossface.  More cool stuff.  Sabin gets another near fall with a Tiger suplex hold.  My wife keeps walking in front of the TV and making me miss spots, but I did catch Shelley hitting a Schwein.  Shelley goes for a frog splash, but Sabin catches him with knees.  Shelley manages to hit a frog splash to the back, then another to the front, and Sabin kicks out!  “THIS IS AWESOME!” chant.  For once, the morons are right.  Sabin nails a lariat and the Cradle Shock for a near fall.  Sabin goes for an avalanche Cradle Shock, but Sabin fights out and hits the Shiranui for the near fall.  Shelley feigns a foot injury and school boys a concerned Sabin for the win at 16:40.  Weak finish to a really good match.

Jim Cornette tells Jeremy Borash that not only is Rhino missing, but Kevin Nash is in the hospital with a staph infection, she he’s out of the main event.  Mick Foley instructs Cornette to tell the Main Event Mafia to find a suitable replacement.

Tenay and West run down the matches still to come tonight.

Bashir/Sewell video package.

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Shane Sewell.  Sewell comes out to no reaction and Tenay puts over how the crowd is solidly on his side.  Sewell does a wrestling move here and there, but it’s essentially a brawl, which makes sense given the storyline.  Around the 9 minute mark, Sewell locks in a figure-four leglock, which gets a big reaction in Charlotte.  Bashir takes a swing at referee Earl Hebner and gets slapped for his trouble.  Sewell gets the win with a sunset flip and a fast count from Hebner at 10:18.  The other referees run out to celebrate with Sewell.  The match was fine, but I had a feeling it was longer than it needed to be.

Cornette interrogates Booker T (w/ Sharmell) about why Rhino is missing.  Booker threatest Cornette.  Sewell gets involved, leading to an altercation between Booker and Sewell.

Hype video for the Tag title match.

Three-Way Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed (c) vs. Beer Money (w/ Jacqueline) vs. Matt Morgan & Abyss.  Lethal & Creed cashed in their Feast or Fired briefcase and took advantage of an injury to Robert Roode to win the titles a month before… er, I mean three days before on iMPACT!.  Nothing interesting happens for a few minutes, then there’s a funny spot where Beer Money and Jacqueline fall in a way that looks like Storm and Roode are double teaming Jackie.  Double teaming in the adult film way, not the wrestling match way.  Morgan dives from the top rope onto all four of his opponents on the outside.  The match goes back to being not especially interesting after that, other than a cool double team spot from Beer Money on Creed.  At 14 1/2 minutes, Abyss accidentally nails Morgan with one of the tag title belts.  Roode covers, but the referee is busy ejecting Jacqueline.  Lethal comes off with the diving elbow, but Storm blasts him with the superkick.  Storm puts Roode on top of Morgan for the three count to regain the belts at 15:21.

Kurt Angle barges into Jim Cornette’s office.  Angle tells Cornette the MEM beat up Rhino, but they did leave him with cab fare.

Taylor Wilde, ODB, & Roxxi vs. The Kongtourage (Raisha Saeed, Rhaka Khan, & Sojourner Bolt).  If TNA needed a couple of big black women, why didn’t they call Jazz?  The faces all get their shine, then the heels get heat on Wilde.  Hot tag to ODB, who cleans house.  ODB hits a powerslam on Saeed, then Bolt completely misses making the save.  It looked like that to me anyway.  Wilde dives to the outside to take out Bolt and Saeed.  ODB pins Saeed with an inside cradle on 7:46.  Match wasn’t very good.  Lots of botches.  Awesome Kong comes out and chokeslams ODB, trying not to show that here back was hurt, which was half the reason the Kong/Hemme match didn’t happen.

Cornette asks Sting why he condones the MEM attacking his opponent for tonight.  Sting takes offense at Cornette assuming he had anything to do with it, since, ya know, they need an out in case they decide to turn him face again.

Kurt Angle/Jeff Jarrett video package.  Man, I really need to watch their Bound For Glory match.  I bet it was good.

No DQ Grudge Match: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett starts off with angry punches.  They fight at ringside.  Split screen: Rhino is here, mad and selling a back injury.  Jarrett throws beer in Angle’s face.  Alcohol abuse!  Tenay says the cup of beer was 24 ounces.  They are big cups.  I wish the beers at the Civic Center where I go to shows were 24 ounces.  Angle takes over on Jarrett in the ring.  Jarrett hits a nice armdrag to counter the Angle slam and hits a smooth backdrop to send Angle over the top rope.  Jarrett dives out onto Angle!  He botched it, though.  Angle throws Jarrett over the announce table.  Angle hits Jarrett with the bell.  Jarrett is BUSTED WIDE OPEN!  Angle is bloody too as they brawl on the stage.  ANGLE SLAM OFF THE STAGE THROUGH A TABLE!  On replay, it looks like Jarrett mostly missed the table and went straight to concrete.  They make it back to the ring.  They’re both bloody and full of hate.  Jarrett hits a Pedigree of all things.  Jarrett goes for the Stroke, but Angle counters and locks in the Ankle Lock.  Jarrett dropkicks a chair into Angle’s face and hits the Stroke for a near fall.  Angle hits a missile dropkick and the Angle Slam for a near fall of his own.  Jarrett tries to use the guitar, but Angle kicks him in the balls to prevent it.  Angle asks the crowd if he should use the guitar or the chair.  He decides on the chair.  He blasts Jarrett with it, but Jarrett kicks out again.  Angle ducks an enzuigiri and locks in the ankle lock.  Jarrett rolls through and gets a near fall off a front cradle.  Jarrett counters another Angle Slam attempt with a DDT.  Jarrett picks up the guitar again, but it’s broken, so Jarrett blasts Angle with a chair shot instead.  Jarrett lays on the cover, but Angle counters into a crucifix hold for the win at 22:00.  Another great match with a weak finish.  Angle Pillmanizes Jarrett’s angle with the chair after the match.

Backstage, Cornette tries to persuade Rhino to not go through the match tonight.  Rhino says he’s wrestling.

Back in the arena, Jeff Jarrett is stretchered away.  They show replays of the post-match Angle.

Rhino/Sting video package.  Rhino has stepped up to the front line of, well… the Frontline.  Remember: Rhino pinned Sting clean in a non-title match to set this up.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (c) vs. Rhino.  Rhino is selling the off-camera beatdown we heard about earlier.  Rhino, who was already bleeding to sell the beating, gets his bandage ripped off and bleeds more.  After 6 minutes of not much happening, Rhino hits the Gore.  Sting rolls to the outside before he can get pinned.  Rhino goes for a frog splash back in the ring, but misses.  Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Rhino doesn’t tap, despite the fact that he’s selling a back injury.  Rhino makes it the ropes, but Sting pulls him back to the middle, so Rhino gets another rope break.  Rhino goes for the Gore again, but Sting moves and hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the victory at 8:24.  Really weak match.

Jeremy Borash interviews Mick Foley, Brother Devon, and AJ Styles.  Styles dedicates the match tonight to Samoa Joe and his newborn son.  Devon dedicates it to Brother Ray.  Foley gets his interview time next and is in full Cactus Jack mode.

Frontline/Main Event Mafia video package, and it’s main event time.  Booker and Steiner come out first.  Booker’s accent keeps getting more and more retarded.  Booker introduces their replacement: “Cutie” Kip.  WTF?  I guess they couldn’t find a suitable replacement after all.  Kip runs down his credentials.  He says he’s a two time Intercontinental Champion.  He’s not.  The MEM’s suitable replacement can’t even count to 1!

The Main Event Mafia of TNA Legends Champion Booker T (w/ Sharmell) & Scott Steiner and Kip James vs. Mick Foley and The Frontline of AJ Styles & Brother Devon.  Everybody pairs off and brawls to start the match.  The match settles down in the ring.  Nothing interesting happens.  Bell rings for a double count-out at 8:20.  Cornette comes out and orders the match restarted.  Booker says he doesn’t have the authority.  Foley says that Cornette doesn’t have the authority, but HE does.  Foley orders the match restarted as a Hardcore Match!  Now the match is a wild brawl WITH PLUNDER!  Styles puts Kip through a table with a dive.  Devon hits a diving headbutt on Steiner.  Booker blasts Devon with the scissors kick.  Foley puts Booker in the Socko Claw, but Steiner hits Foley with a trash can.  Foley gives Steiner a double arm DDT on a chair for the win at about 16 minutes.  Match was bad.  Fin.

I give the show as a whole thumbs in the middle.  Shelley/Sabin and Angle/Jarrett both had very good matches, but weak finishes.  The rest of the show was just plain bad.

TNA iMPACT! 6/24/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2010 by Grappleholic

Let’s just get this over with, eh?

“Last week on iMPACT!” video.

“Monster on the Loose.”

Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.

Hulk Hogan comes out.  He announces RVD vs. Hardy vs. Anderson vs. Abyss for the title at Victory Road.  Abyss comes out (No longer “American Made”).  Hogan asks Abyss what his deal is.  Abyss says “they” told him to.  “They” are coming.  “They” told Abyss he doesn’t need Hogan anymore.  Nobody needs Hogan anymore.  Hogan finally asks who “they” is.  Abyss says everyone will find out soon.  “They” are gonna takes over.  Abyss takes off Hogan’s Hall of Fame ring and chokes him, then stuffs the ring in Hogan’s mouth.  Abyss pours broken glass in the ring.  TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam makes the save.  Abyss powerbombs RVD and goes after Hogan again.  Mr. Anderson makes the save with a steel chair.  Abyss shrugs it off.  Anderson bails and pulls Hogan and RVD to safety.  I will be anyone $100 that this angle does not end well.  Abyss screams that “they” are coming.  Commercials.

Victory Road hype video.

Moments ago, ^  happened.

Hulk Hogan whines to Eric Bischoff about how hurt he is over his boyfriend Abyss breaking up with him.

Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky are in the bathroom.  Apparently Lacey is out injured, Velvet is mad, and Madison is bitchy.  My guess is they’re all on their periods.

Angelina Love vs. TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champion Velvet Sky.  Footage of their match a few months ago.  They fight.  They fight outside.  Angelina gets sent into the steps.  Inside, Velvet beats up Love.  Velvet hits the Sky Liner, whatever that is.  To be honest, I wasn’t paying attention.  Love makes her comeback.  Love brings in a chair and kicks Sky in the face.  Sky tries a stun gun but fucking fails.  Sky tries to DDT love on the chair, but Love reverses it and DDTs Sky on the chair.  Love is DQ’d in about 4 minutes.  This fucking sucked.  TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne comes out to taunt Love with the belt.  Do NOT want to see that match at the PPV.

Jay Lethal talks to his brother backstage.  Commercials.

Kevin Nash and Eric Young talk backstage.

Matt Morgan comes out.  They show is recent altercations with Hernandez.  He cuts a stupid promo.  He calls out Hernandez, who Taz claims is in Mexico this week.  Morgan vs. Hernandez in a cage at the PPV.  Also, Morgan is rockin’ a lumberjack beard.  Homicide jumps Morgan and ends up getting his head kicked into the post ala the initial Morgan/Hernandez injury angle.  This was dumb.  Commercials.

AJ Styles asks Ric Flair about a package.  Flair bitches at him.  Stupid.

Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal.  Bit of wrestling to start.  Kazarian begs off, then jumps OVER the referee to attack Lethal.  “That’s for Ric, you stupid bastard!” Kazarian yells.  Kazarian hits an Alabama Slam for 2.  Kazarian puts Lethal on the top rope and kicks him.  Cover gets 2.  Kazarian hits the slingshot leg drop and clamps on a side headlock.  Backstage, Ric Flair and AJ Styles beat up Lethal’s brother.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow smash.  Kazarian goes for a low blow, but Lethal gets a la magistral for 2.  They trade chops and forearms.  Lethal goes for the Lethal Combination, but Kazarian counters and hits it himself for 2.  Kazarian bitches at the referee.  Kazarian goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver, but Lethal counters and hits the backdrop into the neckbreaker (now apparently called the Lethal Injection) for the pin 5:09 (unless my clock fucked up).  Flair appears on the shows Lethal and his brother is getting beaten up.  Why is everything on this show overbooked shit?  Commercials, which are better than this show.

Jeff Jarrett is backstage in his gear, so presumably he’ll be coming out soon.

Tonight, Abyss vs. Anderson Falls Count Anywhere.  Jarrett vs. Sting next.

Jeff Jarrett comes out for the match.  Sting doesn’t.  Sting is up in his clubhouse, so Jarrett goes to meet him.  They fight, but it’s a fake Sting.  In 2010.  The real Sting appears in the ring.  Jarrett throws the fake Sting into the ring, not noticing the other Sting IN THE RING.  The real Sting chokes Jarrett with his bat, then beats him with it.  Sting says “If you’re gonna walk with them, you’re gonna go down with them!”  I wonder if Sting’s “them” is the same as Abyss’ “they.”

On 10/10/10, Bound For Glory in Daytona Beach, Florida!  Commercials.

ShopTNA.com plugs.

Kurt Angle/Desmond Wolfe video package.

Desmond Wolfe (w/ Chelsea) vs. Kurt Angle.  Typically fucking great chain wrestling to start.  Wolfe kicks the rope into Angle’s arm, then yells at Chelsea instead of taking advantage.  Angle hip tosses him.  Wolfe side steps Angle in the corner and Angle spears the post.  Wolfe hits a near arm hold suplex, then instead of taking advantage fucking bitches at Chelsea again.  Angle fights back, but Wolfe hits the awesome arm takedown THEN FUCKING BITCHES AT CHELSEA AGAIN INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON THE MATCH.  Angle tries a sunset flip, but Wolfe fucks up his arm again.  Wolfe works the arm WHILE bitching at Chelsea.  That’s an improvement.  Angle counters and goes for the ankle lock, but Wolfe kicks him away.  Wolfe bitches at Chelsea again.  Angle hits a back body drop and a belly to belly overhead suplex for 2.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Wolfe arm drags him.  Angle hits the rolling Germans for 2.  Wolfe hits the Divorce Court for 2.  Angle goes up top, but Wolfe cuts him off and goes for the Tower of London.  Angle counters and hits the Angle Slam, then locks in the ankle lock for the win in 7:04.  Very good match as always between these two.

Anderson has a black eye and is otherwise all fucked up from the stuff with Abyss last week.  Anderson’s ready for him tonight, though.  Commercials.

House show plugs.

Doug Williams vs. The X Division video package.

TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams is in the ring.  He cuts a promo on Brian Kendrick and calls him out.  Kendrick comes to the ring and tells Williams they’ll meet for the title at Victory Road in a match that can also win by submission.  He claims the former will benefit Williams and the latter will benefit him.  That’s stupid.  Williams proposes that they both leave like gentlemen, then tries to jump Kendrick from behind.  Kendrick was ready for it and he locks Williams in the cobra clutch again.  Alrighty then.

Abyss talks to himself backstage.

Anderson vs. Abyss Falls Count Anywhere is still to come.  Joy.  Commercials.

Shannon Moore beats the hell out of Brother Ray backstage.  Jesse Neal is knocked out.  Brother Devon comes in to break it, then grabs Bubba and yells at him.  Devon warns Bubba not to test him.

The Motor City Machine Guns have joined Tenay and Taz for commentary.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Series – Final: Beer Money vs. Ink Inc.  Shannon Moore has to go it alone since Neal is KTFO’d backstage.  Winners face the MCMG for the titles at the PPV.  Roode beats up Moore, but Moore makes a comeback.  Storm accidentally lands an elbow drop on Roode.  Moore hits Storm with a headscissors, then clotheslines Roode out of the ring.  Tommy Dreamer, Raven, and Stevie Richards come in to the crowd and sit down.  Storm sends Moore into the barricade.  Beer Money beat up Moore.  Jesse Neal comes out and gets in the corner.  Moore continues to play face in peril.  Moore fights them off and makes the hot tag to Neal.  Neal runs wilde.  Belly to belly suplex on Storm, but Roode saves.  Clusterfuck.  Moore sends Roode outside and hits him with a suicide dive.  Storm hits a Codebreaker on Neal and goes for the superkick.  Neal gets him up in a fireman’s carry to set up a double team, but Roode takes Moore out.  Neal cradles Storm for 2.  Roode grabs Neal’s leg.  Storm spits beer in his face.  DWI on Neal.  Storm pins Neal in 5:48.  Nothing to see here.

Kazarian and AJ Styles argue in the locker room.  Styles finds his package and opens it up.  It’s his new action figure.  Kazarian tells him to go play with himself.  STUPID.

Main event is next.  Ugh.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Abyss vs. Ken Anderson.  Anderson goes on the attack immediately.  Back and forth brawling.  Anderson hits a Lou Thesz press and punches Abyss, Austin style.  Anderson takes a chair from a fan.  Abyss punches the chair into Anderson’s face.  Abyss sets up the chair in the ring.  Anderson hits a drop toe hold onto the chair for 2.  Anderson hits Abyss in the back with the chair for 2.  Anderson wedges the the chair between the turnbuckles.  Abyss tries to whip him into it, but Angle slides out of the ring, hides under the ring, then hits Abyss with a Singapore cane.  Abyss beats up Anderson on the outside and whips him into the stage while some annoying girl screams.  Abyss removes the floor mat and sets up a chokeslam, but Anderson fights it off.  Abyss throws Anderson back in the ring and beats him with the chair.  Abyss lays the chair on Anderson and tries to jump on him, but gets hit in the balls with the chair.  Anderson gets a cradle for 2.  Anderson goes for the Kenton bomb, but Abyss gets his knees up.  Abyss throws Anderson into the chair wedged into the turnbuckles, then hits the Shock Treatment for the pin in 7:53.  Garbage.

Anderson crawls up the ramp to try to get away, but Abyss catches him and tries to throw him off the stage.  Anderson fights back and goes for the Mic Check.  Abyss avoids it and chokeslams Anderson off the stage.  Hulk Hogan appears and hits Abyss in the back with a chair.  Abyss no sells it and beats up some security guards, who came out to protect the guy who just assaulted a man from behind.  Abyss points at Hogan and says “You” again.  Same bullshit as last week.

Aside from a great 7 minutes when Kurt Angle was wrestling Desmond Wolfe, man this show was motherfucking horrible.  Trash TV garbage.

TNA iMPACT! 6/10/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2010 by Grappleholic

Ugh, here we go again.

“Last week on iMPACT!..” music video.

“A Flair For The Dramatic.”

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Jeremy Borash is the ring announcer.  Tonight, Kurt Angle returns to the ring!  Also, they’ll show “never before seen footage” of Sting’s attack on Jeff Jarrett of Sacrifice.  Probably the exact same footage they showed last week, but now it’s never been seen.

AJ Styles, Desmond Wolfe, Kazarian, and Beer Money come out.  Styles says that he’s in charge in Flair’s absence.  He says they’re in an 8-man tag, then does some first grade math.  He says 5 guys in a group doesn’t work, and makes reference to the Beatles, the Fantastic 4, and the Four Horsemen.  He tries to kick Kazarian out of the group.  Jay Lethal comes out, this week playing the role of Ric Flair.  He does do a great Flair impersonation.  Lethal introduces his team for the 8-man tag: Abyss and Mr. Anderson.  Styles notes that that’s only 3.  Lethal says Abyss counts as 2.  The faces rush the ring and brawl with the 5 heels.  To the shock of absolutely no one, Jeff Hardy makes the save (running in through the crowd).  Man, this show is horribly written.

Weird backstage video promo with Brian Kendrick.

Brian Kendrick vs. Homicide.  Yes, Homicide is still employed.  TNA X Division Champion Doug Williams comes out to do commentary.  They lock up.  Homicide lands some punches that Kendrick sells like shotgun blasts.  Kendrick fights back.  Homicide goes for the Cop Killa, but Kendrick counters.  Homicide beats up Kendrick some more.  Homicide hits an Exploder for 2.  Homicide hits a Michinoku Driver II for 2.  Homicide continues beating up Kendrick.  Homicide unwraps his wrist tape to use.  The referee takes it away, so Homicide uses the tap from the other wrist to choke Kendrick.  Kendrick makes a comeback.  He knocks Homicide out to the ramp and ramps his head into the ramp.  Homicide empties out a toolbox from under the ring and grabs a screwdriver.  The referee takes it away.  Kendrick kicks Homicide in the face for the pin in 6:02.  Very oddly structured match.  At least Kendrick didn’t do the job right before his PPV title shot.

Ink Inc. and Team 3D are in the back.  Apparently Moore, Devon, and security are trying to hold Ray and Neal back from fighting.

Ink Inc. are in the ring.  Neal calls out Brother Ray.  Team 3D come out.  Agents (including Terry Taylor and Pat Kenney) try to keep order.  Neal accuses Bubba of laying them out and putting cards on them.  Bubba cuts a promo about how great he is and how Neal is nothing, just to show what a big prick he is.  Bubba calls more a bitch.  Moore calls Bubba a bully and a douchebag.  Well, he’s right.  Moore calls Devon Bubba’s puppet.  Devon cuts a promo on Moore, then tells Bubba to get his head straight and leave Neal alone.  Devon leaves.  Ray cheap shots Neal and runs away.

Slammiversary commercial.

They show Sting’s beat down of Jeff Jarrett from Sacrifice.  Fast forward.

Jeff Jarrett comments NEXT!

Eric Bischoff and Miss Tessmacher are with Matt Morgan backstage.  Morgan wants to know who his partner is at Slammiversary.  Bischoff says he has a partner for Morgan and his tag title rematch is next.

Jeff Jarrett talks about Sting destroying him.

Matt Morgan comes out.  Hulk Hogan follows and talks about Morgan being a prick.  He introduces Morgan’s partner, the returning Hernandez.  Hernandez kicks Morgan’s ass.  Hogan joins Tenay and Taz for commentary.  Hernandez chokes Morgan with his towel.  Hogan books Hernandez vs. Morgan for Slammiversary.  Geeks come out to put Morgan on a stretcher.  Wasn’t there supposed to be a tag title match somewhere in here?  Ah, here comes The Band.

TNA World Tag Team Championship Match: Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, & Eric Young (c) vs. Matt Morgan.  Young pins Morgan on the stretcher in 17 seconds.

Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam.  Sting jumps RVD from behind and chokes him out, then steals the belt.

Moments ago, ^ happened.

People check on RVD.  He realizes his belt is gone and he’s pissed.

Kurt Angle comes out and cuts a promo.  He asked his X Divison friend to wrestle him tonight, and to hold nothing back.

Kurt Angle vs. Amazing Red.  They shake hands and lock up.  Red does his stuff and Angle hangs with him.  Angle hits a belly to belly suplex and a European uppercut.  Red side steps Angle and sends him outside.  Red goes for a dive, but Angle avoids it.  Red jumps off the apron and hits a rana.  Back inside, Angle NAILS Red with a clothesline.  Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Red hits a DDT.  Red hits a jumping DDT for 2.  Angle hits a German suplex.  Red arm drages out of an Angle Slam attempt and hits a sick rana head drop and the Red Star Press for 2.  Angle avoids the Infra Red and hits the Angle Slam for the pin in 3:44.  Fun little match.  I wish Angle would stop getting dropped on his head and shit, though.  Angle helps Red up, raises his hand, and hugs him.

Sting talks to or about the World Championship belt.  He has “Deception” written on the belt.

Slammiversary hype video.

RVD goes to look for Sting in his clubhouse, or wherever the fuck Sting hangs out up there.

AJ Styles, Beer Money, & Desmond Wolfe vs. Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson, Abyss (w/ Chelsea), & Jay Lethal.  Roode and Lethal brawl to start.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow smash.  All of the faces deck Roode.  Abyss tags in.  Beer Money try to double team Abyss, but get fought off.  Anderson tags in against Storm.  Anderson and Hardy make quick tags and work over Storm’s arm.  Wolfe gets the tag and wrestles with Hardy.  Hardy hits a suplex for 2.  Styles tags in to work over Hardy.  Styles hits a knee drop for 2.  The heels isolate Hardy on their side of the ring and work him over.  Hardy reverses Wolfe into Beer Money’s boots.  Clusterfuck ensues briefly.  Hardy gets beaten up by the heels.  Double suplex by BEER!  MONEY!  Roode hits a knee drop for 2.  Roode hits the bottom rope decapitator thing for 2.  Lethal gets the tag, but the referee misses it and doesn’t allow it.  The heels continue beating up Hardy.  Hardy hits a jawbreaker on Styles, then drops him with a kick.  Hardy makes the hot tag to Lethal, who runs wild.  Lethal hits a move on Styles and covers, but Wolfe saves.  Everybody starts hitting signature moves.  Nigel hits the jawbreaker lariat on Abyss, then asks Chelsea for the chair she’s sitting in.  She hesitates, but Wolfe gets the chair.  Abyss punches it into his face.  Styles hits Abyss with the springboard forearm.  Lethal goes for a rana, but Styles catches him and hits the Styles Clash for the pin in 10:50.  Pretty good match.  I’m shocked they actually got some time and it wasn’t mostly commercials.

Sting isn’t in his clubhouse, he’s somewhere else.  Commercials.

RVD shows up at wherever Sting is.  Sting jumps him from behind and kicks his ass.  RVD fights back.  They brawl all over backstage and throw each other into shit.  They eventually make it to the ring.  RVD takes off Sting’s coat and the belt and continues to beat him up.  RVD wedges a chair between the top and middle turnbuckles.  They fight some more.  RVD lands a superkick.  Sting sends RVD’s head into the chair, then hits him in the back with the chair.  Sting says the belt is RVD’s until Sunday.  This whole thing was stupid.

There was some good stuff on this show, but as always, there was a bunch of crap and the writing is just fucking horrible.

TNA iMPACT! 5/20/10

Posted in TNA with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2010 by Grappleholic

Sacrifice highlight video.

“10 Card Stud”

Pyro and ballyhoo.  Mike Tenay and Taz are the announcers.  Tonight, the Top 10 Contenders will be announced!  Tonight, there will be an announcement regarding the main event of tonight’s show.  Well I fucking hope so.  Also, Kurt Angle returns.

Eric Bischoff comes out with Miss Tessmacher.  Bischoff introduces the top 10 contenders.  Each guy comes out to the ramp and they show a brief video package.  #10 is Samoa Joe.  #9 is TNA Global Champion Rob Terry.  #8 is Desmond Wolfe.  #7 is “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.  #6 Abyss.  #5 is Mr. Anderson.  #4 is Jeff Hardy.  #3 is AJ Styles.  #2 is Kurt Angle (who doesn’t come out).  Crowd chants “WE WANT ANGLE!”  #1 is Sting.  WHAT THE FUCK?  These rankings are motherfucking retarded.  Sting comes to the ring.  Crowd chants “WE WANT A RECOUNT!”  Bischoff books Sting vs. Jeff Hardy for tonight.  Sting smashes the stupid poster things in the ring, the hits Abyss with the bat.  Abyss tries to make the save, but gets owned.  Hardy takes the bat from Sting.  Hardy slaps Sting.  Sting kicks Hardy in the balls and takes his bat back.  TNA World Champion Rob Van Dam comes out.  Hardy clips Sting’s leg and hits the Twist of Fate.  Hardy goes up top, but Sting leaves.  Just to recap, Sting vs. Hardy tonight and Sting vs. RVD for the World Title at Slammiversary.  This was all stupid.

Moments ago, some shitty booking was played out.

Matt Morgan bitches to Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff.  “They” want “their” rematch for the tag titles.

Roxxi, who looks totally different from the last time I saw her, comes out.  They show her breaking her ankle in a match against Ayako Hamada on New Years’ Eve.

Non-Title: Roxxi vs. TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne.  Roxxi seems freakishly tall.  She’s all over Rayne to start.  Rayne avoids a shot and attacks her.  Knee lift gets 1.  Rayne works Roxxi’s face.  Seriously.  Roxxi hits the Voodoo Drop for the pin in 2:42.  Whatever.  Rayne is pissed.

Chelsea bitches at Desmond Wolfe about having to be Abyss’ property for 30 days.  Wolfe reassures her.

Kurt Angle arrives with a goatee and refuses to answer some geek’s questions.

Kurt Angle music video.

Kurt Angle comes out and talks for a while.  He says he’s taking himself out of the #1 contender spot and he’s going to wrestle every one of the top contenders.

Christy Hemme talks to Ric Flair and Beer Money.  Beer Money are facing Jay Lethal and a partner tonight.  Kazarian comes in.  He wants to talk to Flair.

Tonight, Sting vs. Hardy.

Rob Terry says he has a knee injury, and he’s wrestling with it tonight.

Jeremy Borash is still doing ring announcing.

Non-Title: TNA Global Champion Rob Terry vs. Orlando Jordan.  Why the fuck are we doing this again?  Jordan goes on the attack.  Terry fights back.  Earl Hebner gets knocked down.  Jordan gets back dropped.  Cover gets 2.  Jordan attacks the injured knee and works it over.  Jordan locks in a knee bar.  Terry refuses to tap, but Hebner stops it and gives Jordan the win in 2:58.  It served its purpose, so I have no complaints.  Jordan attacks Terry again after the match and puts the hold back on.

Jay Lethal talks about his issues with Ric Flair.  Rob Van Dam offers to be his partner.  Lethal agrees.

Jeff Hardy applies his makeup and talks about idolizing Sting when he was a child.

Ink Inc. barge into Team 3D’s locker room.  Neal bitches at Bubba about the shit he pulled at the PPV, which was a dick move.  Neal and Bubba come to blows.

Beer Money vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam & AJ Styles.  Lethal has his own music and gear and is no longer doing the Black Machismo gimmick.  Roode Pearl Harbors Lethal to start the match.  Lethal fights back.  Lethal goes up top, but Roode shoves him off.  Beer Money put the boots to Lethal.  Roode tags in and works him over.  Lethal gets turned inside out by a clothesline.  Beer Money hit a double back body drop on Lethal.  Roode takes over the punishment.  Lethal hits a handspring elbow smash and makes the tag to RVD.  RVD runs wild briefly, then gets cut off by Roode.  RVD rallies and hits the flying kick.  Cover, but Roode saves.  Lethal blind tags in and hits a missile dropkick on Roode.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination.  RVD hits the Rolling Thunder.  Lethal locks Roode in the figure-four leglock.  RVD takes Storm out with a dive.  Roode submits to Lethal’s figure-four in 3:56.  Fun little tag match.  Ric Flair comes out and brawls with Lethal.  They brawl to the back.  RVD celebrates some more and slaps hands with fans.  A fan in a Sting mask hits RVD with a chair.  He takes off the mask to reveal… Sting!  Okay, that was fucking awesome.  Sting hits RVD again and leaves.

Recap of the shit Sting has pulled so far tonight.

Jeff Hardy is in the ring.  He cuts a promo on Sting and leaves.

Security tells Desmond Wolfe “It’s time.”  Wolfe tells Chelsea it’s going to be okay and bitches out the security guards.

Abyss comes to the ring and calls for Desmond Wolfe to bring him his new property.  Security brings Chelsea out, with Wolfe trailing behind and still acting all pissed off.  Abyss says he made Wolfe his bitch at Sacrifice, and tonight he’s taking his bitch.  Wolfe says Abyss will take Chelsea over his dead body.  He kicks Abyss and the security guards in the balls, then beats up the security guards.  I think they need better security.  Wolfe takes a glass bottle from Chelsea, breaks it, and threatens Abyss with it.  Wolfe cuts Abyss’ arm, then bitches at Chelsea.  Abyss’ arm is bleeding.  He knocks the bottle away and hits the Black Hole Slam on Wolfe.  Abyss carries Chelsea away, presumably to fuck repeatedly.

House show plugs.

TNA World Tag Team Champions The Band are in the ring.  Eric Young cuts a promo about having joined The Band.

Eric Young (w/ TNA World Tag Team Champions Kevin Nash & Scott Hall) vs. Shannon Moore (w/ Jesse Neal).  Young attacks.  Moore responds with lots of moves.  Young beats up Moore some more.  Diving elbow drop gets 2.  Young keeps the heat on.  Hebner catches Nash trying to interfere and stops him, but Young is doing fine on his own.  Young makes his comeback.  Brother Ray comes out.  Jesse Neal attacks him on the ramp.  Brother Devon comes out to break it up.  Hall hits Moore in the back with the belt.  Young hits a piledriver for the pin in 3:41.  It’s nice to see someone using the piledriver as a finish again.  Brother Ray attacks Neal again, just because he’s a dick.  He and Devon argue.

Sting vs. Hardy is still to come.

Taz and Tenay talk about the situation with Team 3D and Jesse Neal.

X Division Battle Royal featuring The Motor City Machine Guns of Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley, Generation Me of Max Buck & Jeremy Buck, Kazarian, Homicide, and Amazing Red.  No entrances, everyone is just in the ring and start brawling.  The winner becomes #10 contender since Angle gave up his spot so everyone else moves up a spot.  Kazarian eliminates Red.  Bucks double team the Guns.  Sabin eliminates Max by dropkicking him off the apron.  Shelley gets eliminated by Jeremy.  Sabin eliminates Jeremy.  Ric Flair comes out.  Kazarian eliminates Sabin.  Homicide attacks Kazarian.  Brian Kendrick comes in and eliminates Homicide.  He’s in the match, but nobody knew it until now, because there were no entrances on TV and he wasn’t in the ring when the match started.  Kazarian withstands Kendrick’s attack and throws him out to win it in 2:52.  There’s some sort of connection with Flair and Kazarian now.

Sting vs. Hardy is NEXT!

Sting vs. Jeff Hardy.  They lock up.  Sting is the aggressor early.  Hardy fights back.  Sting bails.  After a minute, Hardy hits a baseball slide dropkick.  He goes for a dive, but Sting avoids it.  Sting rams Hardy’s knee against the ramp a couple of times, then continues beating Hardy up back in the ring.  FUCKING ALTERNATING CHANTS AGAIN.  Hardy avoids the Stinger Splash and makes his comeback.  Basement dropkick gets 2.  Sting avoids the Whisper In The Wind and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hardy gets a rope break.  Ref bump.  Sting goes for the Scorpion Death Drop.  Mr. Anderson sneaks in and hits a Scorpion Death Drop on Sting.  It’s sloppy.  Hardy pins Sting in 5:40.  Not much of a match.  Anderson tries to make friends with Hardy again.  Sting kills them both with the bat.

Not the worst iMPACT! ever by any means.